Girls Gotta Eat - TikTok, Grieving, and Changing Your Name with Alex Madison and Jon Bouffard

Episode Date: October 7, 2024

We are SO excited to be joined by our favorite influencer couple (and new friends) Alex Madison and Jon Bouffard! We're talking about everything – how they met and started dating, creating content together, why they're not friends with many influencers, and how sex can solve your problems. Then they open up about the loss of their unborn child – how they changed their minds from being childfree to even wanting children, being open about the pregnancy and the loss on social media, the grieving process and how they supported each other, and how they are feeling about having children now. And then we dive into some juicy listener questions – a woman wanting her husband to take HER last name, and overstepping in-laws. Before Alex and Jon join us, we're talking about the wildest thing that happened at our last live show, and the age-old debate of keeping or deleting pictures of an ex on Instagram. Enjoy! Follow Alex and Jon on Instagram @alexandramadisonn and @jon.bouff and on Tiktok @alexandramadison_. Listen to their podcast Give It To Me Straight. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at http://article.com/gge. La Croix: Find a list of retailers that sell La Croix Sparkling Water at https://lacroixwater.com. AG1: Get a free bottle of vitamin D3K2 and five free travel packs with your first purchase at https://drinkAG1.com/gge. Bilt: Get points by paying rent at https://joinbilt.com/GGE. Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at https://rocketmoney.com/gge. Fum: Get a free gift with your order at https://tryfum.com/GGE with code GGE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you guys feel like you guys have to stay together also because you're type to the content? Yeah. I know. Oh, yeah. We're actually not married. Yeah, we're just friends. This podcast is a dear media production. Hi, guys.

Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Started hot. Well, I wanted to tell you something funny over that. I was, I was just getting dressed. Okay. It's not like that crazy. It's just like a weird move.

I was like getting dressed to like come down and record with you. And I like, spread perfume on. Oh. And I was just like, what made me do? Like, I'm trying to be sexy for you and Tesla in this recording. No, I'm just. sprayed perfume today too. And you were like,

when is that your detergent? Well, I'm mentally like, I don't know what that smell is. I don't know what you smell like. I don't recognize the smell. I want to be a person who always smells good. Like, that's what people say about Rihanna.

People say anyone in her presence. Like, years later, if Tessa doesn't work for us, I want her to be like, they smelled good. You know? Uh-huh.

Like, why would we not always want to be, Tess, we're not saying you're going anywhere. But, you know, one day you might not want to work here with us. I don't know. Like, I want her memories to be like they smelled good.

Also that we were nice to you, but also that we smelled good. That we treated too well, but most importantly, we did not smell bad. Yeah, but if Tessa was like Ashley's a heinous bitch, but she smelled the fire all the time, it'd be okay with it? No. But it would soften the blow. I wear perfume every day of my life. I just don't usually spray it to come sit down in the studio with you. And sometimes every once in a while, I will spray it on right before a Zoom call.

Oh. Do you ever do that? Just to feel yourself? No, just because I don't know what's, I don't know why I do it. I don't know what inside my brain's like, go do this bitch. I don't know. You just want to get the vibes right. Yeah.

It's like when you look nice, you like act good. When I smell good, I act good. Smell nice, act nice. Well, that's the whole thing. You're supposed to like not always just be in like sloppy sweatpants every day. Not you. You're in like a look. You're wearing a baby tea.

You're fine. But you know, like our friend who's a stylist, Lily and Charles says like elevate everything you wear like up a level. Like take your sweatpants that you work in when you work from home and have those just be like pajamas and then take like your running errands clothes that you'd wear out the house like leggings and whatever and wear those like to work like everything just kind of bringing up one more notch so you always just feel a little more elevated I totally botched that I'm sorry Lillian it's like it's a look good feel good kind of thing if I'm having like I don't have

the best week of my life to be honest but I felt like we like looked really cute on tour and so it like elevated my week because I was like my looks are cute do you think anyone works from home and jeans You have that one friend that travels in jeans And I think she might work at home in jeans She doesn't, I don't think Okay, that is crazy behavior to me Men, I think men work at home in jeans Men work at home in boxers

You think men get dressed to work at home? I don't like a man putting on a jeans I can't Shit-stained boxers are men on Zoom calls No perfume to be seen I lived with a man during post-pandemic That wore jeans But I don't know what he did all day

Probably put the jeans on Just while I was at the apartment when I left. He took them off. He just wanted to feel like he did a thing. Yeah. There's that putting on jeans. Was his activity for the day? Yeah. All right. We're going to take a couple of partners and then jump in. Thanks to Bill. Get points by paying rent at joinbilt.com slash GGE. Article, get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.com slash GGE. And thanks to Rocket Money. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at RocketMoney.com slash GGE. Yes. And thanks to LaCroi. Find a list of retailers that sell LaCroix, Sparkling,

at LaCroixwater.com. And AG1, get a free bottle of vitamin D3K2 and five free travel packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com slash GGE. And thank you to Fume. Get a free gift with your order at trifume.com slash GGE with code GGE. We're heading to New York this week. I'm so excited. We're spending a lot of October out of town.

Yeah. Starting with New York. A lot of travel. EatsCon is Sunday. we are a headliner for the infatuations food and entertainment festival and we are performing on Sunday so we have a fun show plan for you guys

you can get tickets to Sunday you can get tickets to Saturday too but we're on Sundays you can grab those tickets they're like 40 bucks eatscon.com with 5E's and we'll see you Sunday in New York yeah it's a really really fun festival it's like so many hot amazing restaurants from all over New York just pizza and tacos and burgers and you get to just peruse around try food

and see entertainment it'll be really fun and if you have kids you can bring your kids. Maybe not to our show, but, you know, leave them out. People brought kids when we did at Chicago and they removed their children midway through the show. They learned a lot. You're welcome, parents. No, I'm really excited. We'll be there this weekend and you're going to come in like Saturday.

I'm going to go earlier and then Sparkleize my fiance is coming in and we're going to go to Sleepy Hollow. It's like his idea to go up to Terrytown. I love Terrytown. I think it's the best day trip outside of New York in the fall. It's so beautiful. the leaves and it's just like, I mean, upstate, upstate New York, Territown's not that far, but like it's just so quaint and cute, but like that's where people that work in New York City go home there. Like it's a great restaurants. It's great bars. It's great entertainment. It's really

nice. So fun weekend planned and then we'll be in New York for a whole week next week, if you guys are listening. And then we have a wedding in Florida. Andrew Collins. And then we will be in Portland, Maine and Philly for our two Halloween shows. So we just wrapped up incredible shows in Pittsburgh, Indian, Detroit, slumber party theme. Best thing we've ever done. I mean, you guys just, I love how much you lean into the themes. You had all these, like, costumes with your girl groups, and everybody had matching sets, and there were some sexy PJs, there was some comfy PJs. Just, I love how much you guys lean into a theme. Love it. It was everybody. I mean, everybody. Not my parents, but everybody else. Definitely the small, small

minority of people didn't dress up, which we don't care. You don't have to do the theme. But like, almost everybody did it, because why wouldn't you want to be in pajamas? And so Raina and I performed in like pajama looks all three nights. They're mostly on our Instagrams. Raina. Dot Greenberg. I'm Ash Hess. You guys can check them out.

Let's know what you think. And it was, I mean, smartest thing we've ever done. Like, how are we supposed to go back to regular clothes after this? Also, it was just like, it rained so hard on all three cities. It was kind of gloomy. So to have like a cozy theme. Yeah.

Great call. I didn't even put that together. We nailed it. Yeah. Like, people were coming in from like rainy, windy conditions. You're not trying to look cute. You're not like cozy. But like in their ugs.

Like appropriate. not in like a stiletto heel. What a dream. And I just want to throw out a few thank yous. We opened the shows with three iconic drum lines. We had the Steelers drumline. I've waited for this for so long. I just, we finally got them.

Yes. So we had the Steelers official drumline. And then we had the Indiana Pacers drumline in Indianapolis. So fun, they had little nets on the bottom of their drums. I'm obsessed. And then we had this incredible drum line in Detroit called the Drum Kings. The director is this guy Antonio. And they'd perform for everybody.

I mean, they've been at the Super Bowl. They've done all kinds of things. And he said this is his favorite thing they've ever done. He said a JZ concert. Presidential inauguration. Did he say that? He texted me the next day. I performed an arena, stadiums, theaters, even the White House, Super Bowl.

And none of them compared to the energy and excitement of girls got to eat. Sitting in the crowd, I thought I was watching a movie. I hope you guys have a TV show one day. Like, I'm not going to read his whole text. But he just was like this was the best thing ever. And that's such an honor. I mean, we love opening with these drum lines. No one else is doing it.

and we have more coming for the rest of the tour. And it was just really so special. And they get us hype for the show. They get you guys hype. Ray and I haven't walked out without the whole crowd on their feet in years. You know, like it's an honor to do that. And so thank you to those three drumlines. I have like highlights on my Instagram and stuff like that if you guys want to see more.

And we always post and everything like that. But just wanted to, you know, say that that they were incredible. And next up is Halloween, like we said. And everyone's going to be in costume. We have amazing entertainers. These shows are going to be so lit. I'm so excited. So we'll see you guys on the road.

It's the best time ever. Girls Gotta eat.com for tickets. It was a great trip and I love all those cities. Of course, I grew up in Pittsburgh. I went to college in Indiana. I got to see my family, college girlfriends. But there was like one thing that happened on the tour that was just like wildly insane. We have to tell you guys about it.

Like we really never know what's going to happen to these shows. People always think there's like a plant in the audience. We don't plan any of this. We could write a new show for every single city. We crowdsourced emails from you guys. we wanted to be very city-specific, and you guys tell us crazy tea about your friends. And we got this email in Detroit. And it was one of the craziest things ever. Well, a lot of people sent us emails in Detroit and were like, I just got engaged. I just got engaged. It was like an engaged theme.

We didn't see that in the previous two cities. And then we got an email that was like, why won't my friend's boyfriend propose? And we were like, oh, shit. And she basically was like they've been together for so long, years and years and years. I think nine years, she said. Not yet. Like nine years. And they're so wonderful together. And they love each other and like, why won't he propose? And they sound like they were best friends. It sounded like her friend would be cool with her writing this email. So we decided to read the email. We asked if she was comfortable. We're like, can we read this email about your boyfriend not proposing? And she was like, fucking read it. So a lot of times, though, when like we say to people,

like, did your friend know you wrote this? It's usually like, yes. But her friend this time didn't know. She wrote it. But she was like, yeah, read it. So we read this. And the audience was tense. I was like, Raina, we made a mistake. You were reading. I was like, stop, abort, abort. I didn't know what that was. So first of all, they're in the front row. Yeah.

We are looking directly at them. We could tell she was comfortable. And also, like, we always say, like, we want you to be comfortable. We want consent to read this, whatever. But like, we'll stop right now. Like, people were scared. And I was like, I want to stop.

I don't know what to do. Yeah. I can't read your facial expression. And so then we read the email and we're like, well, should we call him? She's like, yeah, let's call him.

We were like, what? I just, that girl was not really emoting a lot for me. So I was like, Are you so mad at me? Like, I don't know what's happening. And when she said, fuck, yeah, I was like, I'm so nervous. I was scared to you. So we bring her up on stage.

And also, they've talked about their wedding. I think they even have, like, a date. They know what they're getting married in 2026 in Mexico. Like, he just is dragging his feet on the proposal. It could be money issues with the ring. Like, whatever it is. He's too. Really young.

Yeah, they're younger. And so we call him. He's like, knows us. I mean, he knows she is a fan of the show. He's so nice. He's like, hi, Raina. Hi, Ash. So sweet. He's on the phone.

He's on the phone with the whole theater. Yes. And then we're like, what's up? Why haven't you proposed yet? And he was like, I've had to pay to fix my car. The audience booze. We're like this sweet guy. We're like, we're on his side. We love him. He's so sweet. Yeah, like, they're in love. She's not like, fucking light him up. Like she was just like, let's call him. So we're like, well, you want to come down here and do this thing? And he was like, yeah, I probably could. We're like, what? And she's like, we live five minutes from the venue. I was like, what? So we're like, well, come on down.

She yells at, he'll be at 940. I was like, we'll get you a ring. Meanwhile, look, I had my backup Amazon dupe ring, which I mentioned last week, but like buried deep in like a bag. And I was thinking, like, we could try to get it. Then I was like, who's going to get it? Tessa's got to run the show, you know. And so I'm like, look at Raina's, I'm like, Rayna will donate one for the cause.

So I wear, I tend to wear like all these like really gaudy rings to the show. Just like tons of like fake diamond rings, tons on every finger. Yeah. So I was like, well, we'll get you a ring. So 945, like 930, like we were doing truth or dare. No, but I didn't get to do the dare I was going to do. We were playing truth or dare, which was so fun. We had such a blast with it.

I was going to have two people rap battle M&M style, 8 Mile style in Detroit. Because I was running the tape on why didn't I ever get to do that? So I was going to see if someone wanted to come up and we were going to play like, lose yourself instrumental and they were going to rap. That was one of our dares. And I was like, why didn't I ever get to do that? Because right as we were going to do that, he starts walking up the aisle. And they're like, he's here. He's here.

And we dared him to propose. And Raina perfectly goes, I dare you to propose right now. I was like, ah. The moment was so crazy. So he comes up. Oh my God. He gets on one knee. Me and Ashley and the friend are standing off to the side.

We'll play this on YouTube. We'll play. What we have, Tessa took a video of the three, me and the best friend are like jumping up and down. The audience is going crazy. And then like, of course she says yes. We ripped a ring off Raina's finger. I was like, I'll buy you another one. I knew it was like a hundred bucks, whatever.

I was like, I'll get you another ring. Just send me the link. I'm still asking her for the link. She won't send it to me. I'm not that worry about it. And then my fiance is there. So I'm like, get out here. He's dapping him up.

Like, we're going crazy. And we're jumping up and down. I'm totally what's happening. Like the rush, I can still feel it right now. I'm still feeling it right now. And so, listen, I don't know if they're going to like do another proposal. I mean, they know they're getting married. I don't know what's going to happen from here.

We need to check in. But it happened at the show. We got a proposal to the show. Unplanned. Because we had one one time that was planned and it was a little weird. That was so weird. So this was unexpected. It was just like such a rush.

and to be like a part of that and their love story. Yeah. I know she was like, you definitely have to officiate our wedding when we were talking to them. She was like, you got officiated. I was like, I'll go to Mexico.

Oh, right. It's not Detroit. It's Mexico. You know I go to Detroit too, though. I know you a bit. Okay. I really like, I didn't realize Detroit was a five-hour flight.

It is really far away from where we live. It's far. Yeah. It's like Canada. Yeah. I didn't know you guys. That was just what a moment to be a part of. I know.

I got to tell you, Raina. A lot happens at the show. Like everyone's always horny, boned up. Like my post-show sex, this tour has been so good and like extra hot and kinky. Oh. He's come to Vegas and now Detroit and he will be in Portland. So we'll see if we're like every show the tour.

But it's just been next level. I'm like, is the show? Is it the show getting you? I think it gets everybody really horny. Yeah. I think it really gets people juiced up. And we're on stage. And we're on a bra.

You're on a bra. You have a bra on those like lace boxer shorts on. But I'm like, good for us. And the Vegas show is in like a wedding dress and then we're at the club afterwards. But I'm like, he's really been. He likes role play. He's been surprised. He's put on all the stops post show.

Well, you know, I always think about Esther Perel saying that the times that people say that they're the most attracted to their partners when they watch them sort of doing something that they're really great at, that they're in charge of, that they excel at. And so like, what's sexier than seeing your partner with a microphone on stage commanding this room full of people? So, yeah. All right. Well, we have John and Alexandra today. We're so excited. And at the end of the episode, we run some of these scenarios by them. We ask people, like, do you have an argument going on in your relationship that you want us to settle?

And we pitch them a couple of topics and we chat through them and they're really so fun. But we, like, had a couple we didn't get to. So we thought we'd do one up top here that we were sure you guys are interested in. Yeah. So I will read this email. This is really just, it's to the test of time. People are still arguing about this. And so I think it's really like an issue.

doing a lot of relationships. Okay. I'm all 30. The guy I'm dating is 28. We've known each other for a long time. He had a previous relationship with a girl for six and a half years and still had her on his social media. I know social media isn't everything, but it bothers me that he still has her on there. When I asked him to remove her, he wanted a laundry list of reasons why, instead of me just explaining that I was uncomfortable with it. They had broken up nearly a year ago, so why did it matter? Anyways, I would love some advice on how you guys view it. I feel like you should validate your partner and make them feel as comfortable as possible, especially it's something that you can control as simple as that.

Yes. So we kind of were trying to decide what this meant. Like she's still on his social media. So let's talk about it as though photos are still on the page and he's still following her. Okay. Both both of them. Also, can we just say that she knows this girl. They've known each other for a long time.

I just found that interesting. Like I'm just curious about the situation. Like what she said she's been friends with him for a while? She just said we've known each other for a long time and he was with this other girl almost seven years. But it's just kind of interesting. Like, whoever the girl is, she probably knows her too. Because they make it better or worse. I don't know.

I just think it's an interesting layer. Like, if you've known him a long time, you've known her too and you've known stuff about their relationship. That's all I'm saying. I don't even really know what I'm saying about it. I'm just like, this is not some new person and you're like, get rid of your ex. You're like, get rid of Angela or whatever. I guess it would either make me more sensitive or make me less sensitive because I would either be like, I saw how close you guys were and what this really.

relationship is like. Yes, that's what I'm saying. We don't know those details. Or you could be like, this was a toxic dumpster fire and our relationship's great and I got I got privy to that. Yeah. I mean, it's the age old, the opposite of love is indifference. You know, for someone to like, delete, delete, delete, that means they have feelings surrounding that person. The indifference would be, what's the difference? Who cares if she's on my Instagram still? But you also should want to appease your partner and make them comfortable. I mean, this is what the archive feature is for. You know, I always say, like, I don't want to delete my memories. Like, I don't want to throw things out. I have things from my past relationships. I don't look at them. I don't know where they are.

They're somewhere in some box deep somewhere. I don't want to throw them out. I don't want to delete all the photos of being my ex. He's not on my Instagram. But, like, I didn't have the archive feature when I deleted him. But if we did, I would have archived them. I don't know. These are like your memories. These people were in your life. Like I've never been a like burn every photo and every memory, but this is like the archive feature. It's like one of the main things I feel like it's for. I want to like validate her because she's saying like I know it's only social media and I agree that it is just social media, but it hurts me. Like social media is everything. It's everybody's window into your life. It's how everybody assumes you feel about things like social media is a big

deal. Yeah. It's how you advertise your entire life to other people. So it's not just social media. It's I think that it, because the relationship was seven years long, like you're asking somebody to really wipe their entire, like the last decade of their life. And that's a lot to just be like, you just, you can't have these memories up here anymore. And I know like from her point of view, she's like, how can I ever mean as much to this person that was with somebody for seven years? And this is just this photo album of that. And it hurts me. So I understand she feels like that. But I don't know that I would wipe seven years of my life off my Instagram. Right. I mean, I need to also see this guy's Instagram. Like, guys typically don't.

post as much. Right. So is the ex in like a one scroll up? You know what I mean? And like does he post her? Right. Does she feel like he doesn't post her, but he has his ex up? Is there that playing into it? I mean, we just don't have all the details. Like how many photos are there? And then she needs to ask herself or, you know, talk about it with a therapist or someone else. Like, why do you want him to do? Like, what is the real root of the reason? Is this like only your ego speaking, like, does it really matter? Like, is it so deep? Most guys a year, how much do they post in a year? I mean, you're going to get to that X and like one scroll up.

Yeah. If it was my fiance, it's there on the home page because he is 12 post total. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I don't think she says how long her and this guy have been together. Like, is he refusing to post you and you guys have been together for a year? And his Instagram is just packed full of his ex.

Because we have a friend that started dating this guy and he didn't really want to put her on social. but his ex was who he'd been with for a very long time, like six years, was the whole feed. And so that seems a little weird if you've been with somebody for a substantial amount of time, they won't post you, but they posted their ex a lot. And so that's a sort of a different question to me. Like I don't necessarily need somebody to delete photos, but I am curious why you won't post me. Yeah, I think she would have told us that if that was the case. So it sounds like whatever's going on with him posting her is appropriate or good enough for her, I guess,

because she probably would have shared that with us. I don't know. I don't really know how you approach this. Like, you need to figure out what your root reason is. And then if you really want to broach the subject, like, do it with, like, kindness and love. And, like, this is kind of how this makes me feel. But, you know, what is the real issue here? Do you feel secure in this relationship otherwise?

Or is this a sign of something else? Are you actually worried about the ex coming back? Are you, like, worried he's still his feelings for her? Because just remember, like, there could be a world in which this guy is so over his ex. he's totally indifferent. And he's like, I don't want to go through and do this. I don't feel like doing this.

I don't know. I prefer that your Instagram is not all your ex, but I also am not someone that's going to force you to sit down and like to delete a bunch of stuff. Yeah. If I'm secure in the relationship. Well, she's saying like I feel like you should validate your partner and make them feel as comfortable as possible. You can validate your partner and still not do everything that they want you to do.

And that's a really thin line. I do think that you should like validate. them. Also, it's probably fine to be like, my boundary is I don't want to look at your fucking ex and you and I are in a serious relationship and I don't want to see this shit. You're welcome to have that boundary. Like, you could have whatever boundary you want, but I don't think a person is like not validating you by not taking it down because they're allowed to have their own boundaries too. You could decide if you're okay with that. Yeah. I think of some girlfriends in mind that would really be like, take it down. Yeah. There's no photos that are going to be of your

ex on this. Yeah. And again, like, what does this say about the relationship? Like, are you guys having other fights like this? Like, are you having fights where he feels like you're trying to control him in other ways? And so this is where he's decided to use as an example. You know what I mean? Like, what else is going on in the relationship? Like, if everything else in the relationship is really solid and really secure and happy and healthy, like, I would probably just like let this go.

I think you should scroll through the Instagram with me and tell me why each one of those days was really not that fun. Oh, you're at the pumpkin patch. Tell me about the fight you had at the pumpkin patch. And it's also like, is there a spectrum of this? Like, do some people just delete some of them? I think I have seen that. I'm answering my own question in real time.

Like, there's a difference between the romantic vacation photos of just the two of you and then a group photo that had other people in it. Or maybe it's the photo from someone's wedding that feels important. You know, like there's definitely a difference. So, like, I like that differentiator. Like, is it just like an Ashley appreciation post? Take that shit down. Right. Oh, my God.

I love them so much. It's just a solo photo. Get it out of here. Her birthday. Fuck her birthday. Get it off your feet. Also, what if you look really hot in some of them? Also important.

Right. Also important. If it's a group photo that stays. Yeah. A wedding that could stay. It could stay. It just depends. And you can take photos out of a carousel.

So let's just. Right. If the caption is like this girl. Yeah. Down. Straight to jail. If the caption is like, my girl, look at this beauty. That's.

Okay, so actually, let's compromise her in this couple meet in the middle. You're like, okay, you've got to take half of them down. Right. And we're going to decide as a couple which ones they are. You pour a little wine. You go through it. But that's my question. Like, when I'm-

Does she look ugly? Yeah. Those stay. Right. What does she even look like? Like, is she embarrassing you or making you feel bad about yourself? Is this one of those photos that like you posted it and didn't ask permission? Right.

That could stay up. Right. Yeah. Like, are the photos saying that he has bad taste or are the photos saying he downgraded since her? Totally. What is the message? message is sending. But I think

is she concerned with the volume, is my question. Like, what does this bother you about you so much? If there are three photos, sis, drop it. Stop it. Get out of here. Are there 25? Are there 50? Like, is it the volume that's really bothering you? Ask yourself that too. A couple photos, I don't know.

I'm going to let it go. I think. I don't know. I can't decide. It depends on how many photos he has overall. It depends on the percentage. The rational side of me is like, let it go, sis. But like the side of me and the relationship is like, I don't want to see those. I guess I'm thinking about my fiance, he just doesn't

have a lot of posts, but he would never have a photo of his ex on his Instagram. Like, he I don't think he even did before we started dating, but like he absolutely would have taken that shit down. I mean, I don't know. Okay. So, also, length of the relationship matters, like, if somebody was together for a year, you got to take that shit down.

A year, like, I had like five photos in my ex and I, my last boyfriend on my thing. That came down. But it's kind of like if it's somebody that's so far down, you've just scroll so hard to find him. You can't ask me to delete that. Like, if my current partner had been like, can you get rid of the pictures of your

ex from 2016, I'd be like, are you out of your mind? You do it then. I'm not scrolling. No. I'm going to hurt my thumb. Okay, and then following the ex, I feel like I don't care. I just don't care. So I, everybody that I've ever... What are we doing? Why are you... Like, everybody

that I've dated or slept with, I follow them and they're on mute. What? I'm doing. Yeah, I follow most of them and they're on mute. I just like... A lot of them. Everyone I have is blocked. My ex-fiancee follows me. I don't follow him when she's,

that makes me laugh. Yeah, a lot of my exes, I follow them on mute. Nothing has happened to make me be like, I hate that person, and I'm going to unfollow them. I don't go to their page. I don't think about them. And also,

nothing is going to stop me from going to their page if I feel like it. Yeah. Like, I mean, we say it's a good sign when people stay on good terms with people they've had relationships with.

You don't want to stay in friends, but that also happens too. I don't know. So I don't know. What's worse of the two? Someone that it ended so, it was so volatile, and it ended so terribly, and they both still kind of have a thing for each other,

you know, or the person that they're like, I don't care. It was just amicable and we don't want to be together. Like, what do you prefer, you know? I mean, that would be good. I also, like, don't mind somebody just being like, I don't know, I unfollow. I don't need her under my airspace.

Like, she's out of there. That's great, too. But, like, yeah, a lot of the people in my life are just unmute. I don't look at their shit. I didn't want to show them. enough to unfollow them. But I'm with you where I don't like to show someone they like got to me. I also think you can unfollow your exes everybody just so you know. You don't have to be like right now

here. You can do whatever you want. But I don't think it's showing someone like they affected you. They did affect you. You broke up. Like I don't think there's anything wrong with unfollowing exes for the pure reason of your exes. Also that is the easiest thing in the world. If somebody's like, I don't like that you follow your ex. Bye. I will unfollow them in one second. Yeah. Like if my partner is like I don't like that you follow them. It would be the quickest unfollow. follow in the world. What do I need to follow them for? Totally. I mean, I'd be like, okay, well, is there more that he's going to try to be controlling and possessive about and jealous? I don't like that. But if he was like, hey, it's weird to me, I'd be like, okay, I don't care. I don't want

to see what he's up to you anyway. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Raina Wolfstock on our stuff. Yeah, I can still look at him if I want to. Right. Fall and follow him, but I care. That's the easiest thing in the world to make. That's so funny. You're like, sure, and follow him, but I'll still be looking. I'm going to be looking. You got me. Like, block them. Oh, my God. All right. Well, I don't know. I mean, it's nuanced. We don't know all the ins and outs. I would like to. I want these people's Instagrams in front of me right now. I could make a better assessment if I knew more. Lesson says. DM us. DM us his Instagram. No, seriously. Let's respond and be like, hey, we need more details here. Yeah. I'm going to write out questions. We'll have a test to send and we'll report back next week. You guys think I'm lying. Okay. Well, we are so excited to get in the interview, but we're just going to go through our partners. You guys, I am so. You guys. You guys. I am so excited to talk about LaCroix.

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Check it out. Okay. All right guys. We're so excited to have friends of ours here with us today. They are incredible content creators. I just absolutely love

everything they touch. And so do you guys because they have millions upon millions of followers between the two of them. They are the dynamic couple, Alex Madison and John Buffard. Yay.

Thank you for having. having those guys. Oh, my God. I have to say, I feel like this is my dream come true. I have been listening to you guys since 2018. What? And I feel like I've been, I've been such a fan. You're just now telling us this.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She told me when I met her, I got to talk to you. I know, because I think when we met you guys after that one podcast, like a year ago, I was like, I've met so many celebrities at this point, but you guys were one of the coolest. Even though I just told Stokey that too. You literally just said that other day. Somebody's going to run the tape. She tells everybody that.

Literally just said that to Snuckie. But like, I think it's different. because Snooki was like on TV. You guys, I've listened to when we were engaged, getting married. Snooki's never going to hang out of this again. Yeah. And John, what about you? How long have you been listening?

This week. Started. Just started. Exactly. So a huge fan. Thank you for having us. No. Well, I was just thinking, I was trying to think of the first video I probably ever saw

of yours. I do know what it is. Oh, God. It was the one about like a guy being short. He was like in the room. Sounds about right. Was that a top one that put you guys on the map? There's no specific video.

I think that like put us on the map. We've had random ones just like go off. So for us it's like a slow build. But we've done a few about height differences. Just because he's, which is great about John, sorry, I'm already talking too much right now, John. Is that? He has always been so secure in his height, even though we're the same height. He's always like, I want you to wear heels.

John has big. He is tall energy. I actually did not. I think everyone's short. I did not read you as short. I'm glad to be here. Also, John's not short. It's just I'm tall.

How tall are you both? Average height for males, 5-7. 5-8. I'm 5-9. I would have never said 5-9. Me either. I would have said 5-11. You give 5-11.

Wow. I'll take 5-11. But is the video you talking to your friend and he's in the room? Oh, yes. It's me talking to my friend about her hot or like the guy that she's dating. And it's me playing this other character. And she's like, oh my God. And he's 6-4.

And I'm like, oh, my God. And then it cuts to John and it's like my 5-9 husband. He's just like making a sandwich. And I'm like, ew, why would you? ever want to date a tall man. Your neck would hurt. Gross. I think this was like an actual conversation.

Yes, and it was. So that's a lot of our content is from conversations that we've had in real life. So that actually happened. And I was like, we have to recreate this. Yeah, our listeners asked how you guys like come up with concepts. It must just be like dating real life. All your content is together. I mean, it's really cute.

I'm a muse. John is my muse. He just does shit. And I'm like, well, there it's the video for the day. I don't know where to start. How did you guys meet and how long we've been together? That's why we did a relationship origin story. And then I want to hear about your influencer couple origin story.

Tinder. Tinder. Really? Yeah, we're on Tinder. Were you just morning that day? I'm not like a storyteller. Alex tells me because I like go straight to the point. I'm like, we met on Tinder.

We lived in Raleigh. We moved to New York. I mean, that's the gist of it. We met on Tinder. It wasn't like sparks right away. We fucked on the second date. What year? I had sparks.

It was. I told her from the beginning, like, we're going to. No, that's how it's supposed to be. Yeah. is the every correct love story is the man being like, no, no, I was into you day one. And then the girl's like, it was a slow build for me. No. That's how it should be.

You are 100% correct. And I tell my friends that, I'm like, he needs to love you more than you love him. I love John so much. I literally. Just like one percent more. They have to love you a little bit more. But they have to be sure. She dodged me a couple times.

We're equals now. I love you so much now. I probably love you more. I think you love you more for sure. No, this is how I feel exactly. Yeah, exactly. Because honestly, I'm so obsessed with him now. But back then, I was like, ew.

This is great. You're going to be sure first. Yeah, yeah. It sounds like, women don't grow on men. Yep. That's not a thing. I'm also a little older. I was getting tired.

I was like ready to settle down, you know? How old are you guys? Defeated. You are younger than we are. How old are you? I'm 37. And I'm 32. Okay.

Okay. And how long, when did you meet on Tinder? What year? 2016? Okay. So, yeah, I was mid-20s and John, you were going to be, you were 29. I was 30. One of our first dates, we did do like wine and design paint night.

We got so drunk drinking this wine. But at the end of the night, and these paintings were so ugly. John goes, sign my last name on that so we can hang them in our house when we get married. And I go, ew, red flag. He's too obsessed with me. And I threw the paintings away. I was joking. Not the painting.

You threw the paintings away? Made me love her so much more, you know? Did she tell you she threw it out? Yeah, yeah. I truly was just like, he likes it. me too much. And when you're when you're not ready for a relationship, you're going for the toxic person who doesn't want you. So I was only chasing the guys who were ignoring me. That was obviously not the answer. And then it turned around when, because I just knew I was like, I like this guy. We

have so much fun together. We laugh. But we run into each other at a bar. He looks at me, ignores me. And I'm like, how dare he this man? Like I'm his queen. And so that's really what made me realize. Like I can't lose him. I like. I was like, why did you ignore her? We hung out like six different times. And then we would like hang out and then I wouldn't see her for a couple months. Yeah, because we would hang out again. And then I just got tired of it.

He was like, you know what? I'm moving on. I'm moving on. And I was like, no. Like I'm not there yet. I want to, you know, date around. And he's like, well, you can't have your cake and eat it too. It's me or no one.

Can't have this dick. Yeah. And I'm like, well, then fine. Can't have multiple dicks. Go off. Go be free then. Like I don't want to be, I don't want to be anyone's girlfriend. and then I realized when he ignored me

that I did want to be his girlfriend. I love this story. It's all about the chase. It's realistic. Yeah. It's just like it wasn't this moment. It wasn't. It was like,

we met a dating ab and then it took a while and then, you know. And I think the issue too, or like what we have found is that like we truly felt like we were friends. Like I never felt butterflies. I, of course, was attracted to him and I love him. But like I never felt nervous or anxious around him. I was like,

I truly feel at home like he's my friend. and we just... I always felt nervous. I was like, is this the last time I'm gonna see you or... John, I'm sorry.

Will I see you the next day? I love this story that you see her walking a bar and you're like, now's my moment. No, literally. I'm gonna ignore her so hard. She's also rolled in

with these two Neanderthals. And I'm like, fuck, dude. These guys are like six, eight. I'm sitting like, yeah. Did he make clear eye contact with you?

Fuck yeah. And they're saying? Looks like a cross bar. and then turns around. Did I do a wave? I was like... No, the wave was like this. And I go, oh my God, he's mad at me.

He's mad at me. He's mad at me. I said, I can't. I was like, no, we're meant to be. And I had to make a decision in that moment. If I chase after him, I have to marry him. So she stalked me on Snapchat. The night.

I followed him to this bar. Which bars I was going to? With the Neanderthals or no. No, no. I left them. I was like, because I was with my sister. and my sister was like dating one and I was like kind of talking to this other one and I was like you guys are so boring like the spark just wasn't there so I at that point you know people like

before find my friends was the things you could see people's Snapchat location yeah I was like John is at milk bar I was like Brianna my sister was like we're going so we went you're talking to some other girl you immediately stopped talking to her when I walked in you didn't ignore her that time I was I was talking to someone else and I saw you as like okay you got to go get out of get out of here. My queen has arrived. Finally. I love this like slow burn stories.

I think so many people think like, it was like six months. I think people are like if it's not now, it's never. And like things don't have to be like this overnight. Like we're in love. Everything's perfect. Like you can drag it out. Right. You were really young.

Yeah. I know because we were, I was 24. Didn't just get out of like a serious relationship? No, I was single for a year. And that's why when you were like, I want to date you. I was like, no, I need to give myself a year to be single. But again, we got married when I was 20, to be with me, but okay.

No, no. She's like, no, it's not because I was just in a relationship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I just didn't like you. I was ready, but it just wasn't the one. I wasn't ready for you. It was an actual reason. I just wasn't really that into you.

Oh, cool. All right. John was going to let that slide, to be honest. I'm glad that everybody's like, remember, though, your whole family died and you were upset. It was really traumatic. Yeah, you were dealing with a lot. You were brokenhearted.

No, I was, I wasn't it. Yeah, nice. Was the sex good? Amazing. I'm the best. night. That's your pain night. Yeah, I mean.

I don't remember. Honestly, Alex really took advantage of me. That night? Most nights. Most nights. I could see that. Listen, I was just in my like party girl phase. I was out of a long-term relationship and I was just like, this is fun for me.

But so after we got together after like the bar when I was like now he's my prince charming and I love him, it really was like zero to 100. We're like, okay, we're going to start a business together and we got engaged like a year after that. And I got married at 27 and I look back and I'm like, I was a child bride. Yes. Thinking about being 27 and getting married. It's so crazy. It's so crazy. Like our assistant just went to a wedding and I'm like, how, who? She's 23. I was like, was it an older cousin? No, a friend. I'm like, child bride. But he grew up in the South and I went to NC State for school. So everyone in the South is getting married at 23, 24.

Totally. But being from New York, I was like, oh my gosh, none of my friends are getting married. Now they're getting married in our 30s. But yeah, I was like one of the first friends and I was like looking back, couldn't believe it. But still going strong, John. When you know, you know. So you guys started like early on to start making content together. So we moved from Raleigh like within eight months or nine months of dating. Moved into her grandmother's basement. I was a therapist. I was working as a therapist. She was starting a company for weddings. Okay. We filmed weddings. Yeah. Okay. In New York. Yes, we were wedding filmmakers because I was working for a company filming weddings and John, he encouraged he was like, I can help you shoot them if you train me on a camera.

You should start your own business. And I was like, I can't do it alone. Like so I trained him, taught him everything. So we would shoot on the weekends, weddings in New York in the tri-state area. And then I would edit and he would, you know, be a therapist during the week. But yeah. So lived in my grandma's basement, saved up money, moved back down south. We've lived everywhere.

But then all of our work was in New York. But we didn't start doing content together until the pandemic. Yeah. Got it. Everyone's origin story. Exactly. It's like, what are we going to do with each other? I think it was, yeah.

Absolutely. And then just for fun, or did you have a little thing in the back of your head? Like, this might take off. I was still a therapist, like essential worker. So I still had to go into work every day. So I'd come back. All of our weddings got pushed. Sure.

So Alex was at home. And did TikTok just start? TikTok was around, I think, in 2019. But pandemic times was when everyone discovered it. Yeah. She'd want me to do these TikToks with her. I'm like, if this is something you want to do, I'll do it with you, just for fun. Because I know she's at home all day.

I felt sad for it. It was a pity TikTok. I'm like, what do you want, what dance you want me to do? Oh, right. Everybody was doing the dances with, I forgot that every couple reverted to dancing. Oh my gosh. Well, yeah. And it was kind of just no man's land.

I was figuring out what to do because we had this editing background or I had this editing background. And I saw people going off and like going viral on TikTok. And I was like, I feel like we can do it. But I started putting out like high quality videos. videos and they would flop and I'm like, why, why aren't they doing well? It's because it wasn't native to the app. So once I started dumbing our content down and I noticed it performed better once he was involved, which I was like, great. You dug it down with John.

She just brought it down a couple packs for me, you know? She's like, I had solo content that was really like high caliber. And then I brought John in a too high brow went over everyone's head. I was like, this is too. John's a therapist, meanwhile, you know. He's like a truck driver. I brought in this dumb idiot. But I do remember this also with like food content because I was a food content creator and the really high end,

like produce it with a camera, really highly produced stuff, started to really tank and people wanted really authentic TikTok type of content. It was like when the raw style of content started coming or just started going off, you know,

where people were like, we don't want you to be so beautiful. We want you to be, you know, short. It reminds me of Daniel Bernstein's. That's the first thing I thought of. Intro into TikTok. She gets on TikTok. with the most professionally shot,

curated, not TikTok type content, and people went crazy. Yeah, she launched like a commercial. And people were like, ew. Oh, no. Like, brother, ew, like, what is the app is about? Right. It was just, I have thoughts and feelings.

We're not going to get into it. But it was like this was so toned up for the app. Yes. Like this is not, how do you not look into the app before getting on it? Right. Well, and that's the thing. You have to be a user of it to understand, like, the trends and everything. So I was just on it all day because I was unemployed at the time.

So I had nothing better to do except do that. And then try to make it as seamless as possible for John when he got home from his very demanding job. I swear to God, just tell me exactly what I have to do. And actually, it's kind of like that now. I'm like, just what do you want? Just tell me what do I have to do? So I'll just break it down and have like exactly like the lines and script what we're doing. This is it.

I'll handle everything else. Just say this one line. And then like God of your own. I had him do it more than like three times. You're doing solo staff. You and Jason just bopping around the world together. Yeah. So he loves it.

I want to talk about that too because people are asked about like Jason and Kat. But you really seem like you're best friends. I mean, you really get along. You want to be around each other. Currently. I tell people we're fuck friends. I'm like, you have to be friends and then you also still have to want to fuck. Like it's so important.

So my question is at this point, you live work and play together. Like there's no separation. So how does that work? I mean, some people would be like, do you get tired of each other? I mean, obviously, you just really enjoy each other's company. I say it's a compliment. I think our audience loves you. We love you.

You're very aspirational as a couple because you can feel that it's real, obviously. Like anyone, it's a learning curve. Like you have to experience it and go through it and then figure out how to like work around your issues. I mean, every time we do something new, there's always that speed realm of like trying to figure out like who's going to do what task. I think it just works because we're so different. like we're the same in values of life but then when it comes to business it's like opposite to track I'm the creative and he handles the logistics he makes sure that I'm creating things on time you know and he's having the conversations with our team where I'm like don't bog me down with

this I need to do something creative you know so we just work on different things so we really don't cross paths until we're shooting and we've kind of just like gotten to a flow but again to his point it wasn't so seamless to the start we did have like bumps in the road where of course we want to kill each other. But we always recognize we're like, is it because we're hungry? Is it because we're tired? What is it?

Or just need a break for it. We need to have sex. We only have sex in a little bit. It's usually we have to have sex so we get back on the same page. No, seriously. Yeah. Just get realigned. I think too because we also owned a business and we were working together before

doing content, we were able to work out the kinks of what it's like to be in business with your partner. So that made it easier getting into content because this is a whole new business in itself where a lot of couple creators, like, it could break them. You know, you get into like this new business or they've never owned a business before and don't understand, like, how do I, how do I make a business plan? How do I do this long term? I also didn't come in as a partner that knew anything. I mean, I never held a camera before. I've never been in front of the camera before. So you knew Alex had her strengths. I think it's

like a really good just piece of advice of businesses in general, like divide and conquer. I mean, Ashley and I do that all the time. There's just a pretty clear division of who's going to do what. And I just, we don't really impede on each other, but I think that we, like, really ask each other's advice. And I want to know what she thinks about every single thing. But, like, I trust her to do whatever she's working on. You have a mutual respect for each other, which is perfect.

But you do what you're good at, too. Like, I'm not going to ask John to do something that I know that he's not going to be good at, like, writing a script for something. He's like, that is not my forte. John, you just have, like, you seem just like you're just, you remind me up my fiance in a way that you're pretty just go with the flow. I think a lot of women may want their male part. partner to like do this stuff and they really don't want to. And they're like now I'm

resenting her. Why don't it to do this fucking dumb shit? And you just seem like you were down to do whatever. I have had these shittiest. No, no, I've had these shittiest jobs. Like, I am so appreciative of like what I'm doing now. Okay. Uh-huh. I love that. I'm like, thank God. Like, I'll do whatever it takes to succeed. But it was like I did have to paint the long-term picture though. To now go back there? I already feel like I made it. Honestly, if I died to, I'd be like, dude, I made it. Yeah, you guys are killing it. I'm pumped. But I did have to, though, paint the picture for him to be like there is a long-term reason for this. Like I'm not just doing this like show off your abs on the internet. Not just making dance videos. Yes. It's

exciting. I love it. It's something new all the time. It's always something new. It's not the same thing every day. Yes. And that's it. Like I think as a young kid, I've always had a dream of like filmmaking, winning an Oscar. And so I'm like, there's no clear path of how to do that. But John has known that. And so he's like, whatever we got to do to get there, you know, I'll do whatever you taught me to do. But yeah, it's just a matter of like respecting one another, staying in our lanes, but just like communication. And that's like one thing that we preach on our podcast all the time is overcommunicate in relationships. We also don't have time to fight. Why you guys either. Like if we have a fight, we need to resolve it. Did you resolve it or you guys just like time out

right now? Yeah, but we just keep it moving. Like Ray and I have like probably, it's way less now. we maybe have like two real issues a year where like really we can't just keep it moving like we've got to sit down and talk about this. I don't know they're way fewer and far between. But like now we air it out and we just have to keep it moving. Like we can't. So much bigger problems or like you know you have and not that I could say history you should look past toxic things in relationships. But like when you know that it's not that big deal. Yeah. Like what is the intention behind it? Like half the shit is so petty. Yeah. It's the dumbest stuff we found over.

Well, we, like, for us, obviously, we're not actually married, but it is like a marriage in sense. Like, I have enough information about Ashley to know that, like, if something bobs me, she didn't mean to do it. If I feel upset about something, we will talk it through. This is not going to end our relationship. Like, I have enough information about this individual now that I don't have to worry, like, that we're never going to get through this.

And she did something terrible to me on purpose, you know? Like, I always say, I hate to use any sports metaphor for relationships, but we are on the same team. Yes. Because I've been in relationships where I'm like, we are no longer in the same team. we think each other are doing things to hurt the other person. We're saying things to insult each other.

This is a bad relationship, whether it be a friendship or whatever. But that's important to recognize and not just like your friendships, your relationships, but working relationships too. Like we've had hard conversations with our teams as well. Like we always know we're on the same team. Yeah. You know, like nothing was ever intentional. But like sometimes you just have to have hard conversations with people you love, you know.

You always have to address it. Don't let anything bother inside. It's like makes it 20 times worse. Half the issues that we have like written into our podcast, we go, have you talked about it? I'm like, what's going on? We always say read this email to your partner. Don't even ask about it. Do you talk to your partner?

No, read the question out loud. You know the fucking answer when you read the question. What's like your therapist speaking? What are you doing? Right. What would you say to you if you read this email? I know. My God.

Yeah. But I think people are afraid to have hard conversations. Yeah, it's tough. You don't know what the other person is going to say. I mean, you're up against a person that could. Then fucking bury it and be miserable the rest of your living? Maybe that's not your person. I don't know.

Sorry. Okay. Well, we're just going to take a really quick break and then we will get back into it. I am telling you about Rocket Money. Most Americans think they spend about $62 per month on subscriptions, but the real number is closer to $300. So that is a huge difference. Even just a couple of subscriptions falling off your radar can really cause a huge impact

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all. John would love to do a reality show. I can't memorize lines. So yeah, I'll do reality, sure. I can't either. John can't read good either. John is me. I'm also dyslexic. Not me. No. One leg up on you. You're like, I draw the line there. I was in special classes. There's that. For you know, that's so funny. You're like, no, I have no disability. I can't. Well, I'm in that boat by myself. Okay, cool. No, I'm saying it's worse for her. You have an excuse. How much longer is this podcast? What's the excuse? John's dyslexic. I'm too pretty to have to read. That's my excuse. He was talking about this ad read, and he's like, I don't like doing this because I can't read.

And I was like, I can't read. I can read the fucking words. I'm saying, I'm just monotone. Raina, you've got a lot better. Raina started reading two years ago. She's gotten so starting. 15 months ago. I started reading in June, the end of June of 2020.

Her first Colleen Uber book, really, who got her going. No, but it's hard. But people have given feedback where they're like, I get so lost when John reads. So I just act out the ads. instead. It's charades. Yeah. Okay, so all people

asked about Jason and Kat and it's Jason Tardick and Katz Stickler. Everybody's kind of obsessed with their relationship. He was on our show recently. Yeah, he was a guest. He was such a loser, isn't it? Yeah. But we love him.

You guys have just, you've been spotted together a lot. You've been hanging out a lot. Yes. Yeah, yeah. What's the story? It's so fun doing couple content with them too. Just because their other comp, well, it's funny because Jason wasn't a comedy creator,

but now. Oh, he's in it. Now he's in it. He's hooked. But because Kat, was always like skit comedy too because like that's a tough part in the couple space not a lot of people they just they just vlog and there's nothing wrong with that that's just not our style we do just strictly comedy and skit based but we don't find many other couples who do the same thing cat was

one of those people and so we immediately connected with her content but she's just kind of brought jason in and he's going for it and now you guys have like a bromance going on i love to watch it was she making content with her ex yes in the video yeah yeah yeah do you guys feel like you guys have to stay together also because you're type of the content. Yeah. I know. Oh yeah. We're actually not married. Yeah, we're just friends. I know. Remember when I said we're just fuck friends? That's still, that's still, that's true. There is too much to lose here now. You push this chairway, just a smidge. Yeah. You guys are like, you just stay friends. I can't Jason too. Like too much has been built on that. Yeah. Yeah. We actually hate them

also. Too many brand deals though. You can't really like let them go. Yeah. But you, you and you're like, you're like besties. You're like very close. Well, anyway, our audience asked. So we just want to talk about it. Yeah. We're loving it. We're loving the double date content. Okay, but on that note, do you guys find it, like, hard to find other couples that you both vibe with? Because I feel like this is the thing out there in the world. Like, two couples getting along, it doesn't always work. Those are four different personalities. The women might knock it along or the men, like, I don't know.

So do you guys, right? Do you like hanging out with other couples and do you find it hard to find them? Yes. Hot take. I was going to say, like, in the content world, there's not many couples that we actually enjoy in real life. But what are finding? that people just are kind of different genuine yeah yeah people are not genuine or they just like think that they're hot shit yeah and like we are so grateful and blessed for what we do

but i'm like we're real people like we love our parents like i love my dog like we are just real and so i'm like i don't need to talk about all the fucking fancy things that we get to do but a lot of people that's just their personalities are built on oh my god but i got to do this i got to and whatever I'm not going to like name drop anybody specifically. But we'll do it. What's the intention behind it? Like, are we trying to collaborate? I just want, like, if you want to hang out, that's one thing.

But like, why are you hanging out? You think it's just advantageous that some people hang out each other. Don't use big words. Yeah. So it means like if you collaborate here, which means work together, that you can either. How dare you? I don't know if you could reach books down there. Real!

No, the shelves are too high in here. He wouldn't even be able to read them if he reached them. Jesus Christ. I don't ever get to make fun of anybody for being short. He's not short. You brought it up. I'm like John's biggest average.

I'm an average above average height. We're cutting him out of this podcast anyway. Because you know I hate short people and I like John. You hate short people? She does. She hates Sabrina Carpenter and not real. It's a narrative that has, it's a fake news. That Ashley started the narrative.

Ashley's like, I don't know where anybody got this. She started it. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable around a lot of shorts. people because I'm like so big it's probably my own insecurity and then like you get like a little back problems because you're like I need to get down I can relate but then I like all of our friends who are in Vegas with us it's like a lot of tall women it's like five of us who are all five ten or above it's just kind of funny so I feel bad for rain and I was going to say I'm down here okay do you guys hang out with a lot of normies well yes so we were gonna and how do they

feel do you have any friends that are like we want to be in your kind like tell us how it feels to hang out with normal people regular people you call normies guys I'm totally kidding Non-influencer. You have a lot of hate mail. Non-influencers. We honestly are only friends with mostly non-influencers. Exactly. As are we?

That's what I'm joking. It's not as any, like, brand trip that we go on. We never become friends with the other content creators. We've only become friends with, like, the agency. You guys are people. We met on a brand trip. That's all older. Like, a lot of content creators are younger.

And so we don't, like, relate. I'm not going to hang out with a 21-year-old makeup girl. I'm like, I'm like, shit. Yeah. Again, we. again, we connect with real people. And I'm also not the type of person. We're not the type of creators because we're skip based to be out vlogging.

Like, we do like to live in the moment and enjoy. That's a good point that, like, I think a lot of times I get a little anxious around people who are like full-time content creators. Are we going to talk at all? Are you just going to make a video that makes it look like we hung out? Yes, exactly. That's with us. Again, we're with all our friends.

And it's like, everyone's, like, successful and amazing and inspiring, but not a lot of them are influencers or content creators. I mean, a lot of people echo this. Are they new friends? or they, like, we hang out with a lot of non-influencer people that are our friends, but they're kind of before that we start doing this. Yeah. And after.

Like, like, yeah, different walks of life. Like, we have our New York friends, our L.A. friends. And, you know, we tour. So we'll see our high school friends, our college friends and stuff like that. But it's just, I think it's interesting to talk to kind of pull back the curtain a little bit. I mean, we had Becca Moore on recently. And again, she's younger. But she was saying when she moved to L.A., just some of these influencers that she met,

she was like, there are bad people in the world. You know, like, these are me. girls and that's not to say they all are but I think it's just like everyone has these like I wish I was on the brand trips I wish I was doing this I wish I was an influencer it's like you might not enjoy the type of people you would find yourself around 100 and again this is not we know amazing influencers that are like genuine down to earth people you guys being two of them so it's not a sweeping jobization yeah it's not a generalization yeah but that's one thing that we thought to just like being in LA we were like oh my gosh it's so much more glamorous on the outside than it is on the inside and then we're actually like at these events and at

these premieres. I'm like, everyone's just people. It's just people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We just enjoy people who make us laugh. Honestly, that's number one. Okay. So that's what you guys like. And inspired people. Yeah. So we'll hang out with you guys. So I want to ask you guys because we asked our audience like all about you and our audience loves you guys. God, they got so excited. Yeah. Just really like. Well, I am your audience. So they just not like that tracks. But people love you and I mean, all your content is really positive and you share in a very vulnerable story this year about something that happened to you guys. And I want you to share as much as little as you're comfortable with. But our audience wanted to know how you guys are

doing and to check in with you and how you've just sort of gotten through all this. And you've been really generous with this information with everybody. Yeah. So I mean, to rewind, I really connected with you guys, like just listening through the years because you were always child free content or just spoke about not necessarily knowing if you wanted kids or just not having kids. And that's kind of where we always landed. We were never like, we're going to get married and start a family. We were so career-focused, and we really, like, love our lives. Yeah. And so we never really envisioned being parents as the number one thing.

But recently, I listened to one of your podcasts with Vinnie, because we just had met with Snooky. So I was like, oh, my gosh, I have to listen to this one with Vinny. Yes, it's so serious. High level. Porn categories. Yeah. You were talking about something about, like, you know, contraception and pulling out. And I'm like, that's literally how we got pregnant.

I was like in the moment. I'm like, just don't this time. Just lay it in me. And we just got pregnant the first time. Oh, my God. We were kind of in the place. I feel like my pull-out game is really amazing. Holy shit, John.

Which is really what I wanted to talk about because I haven't been on birth control for all these years. I'm not kidding. You've been pulling out and then one time he didn't and you got pregnant. Is that what you're saying? Or you got pregnant during a pull-out? No, no. We did not get pregnant for-

No. Okay. In the moment. Yes. I have been off of birth control for six years. And then we, we were kind of in the place where we were... Thank you so much for validating that the pull-up method works.

It does. I'm like all the time, people get really mad about this. We're not doctors. Also, it's like 80%. It's like 80%. I would say even higher. Like, I mean, honestly, don't like listen to us because if you get pregnant, like I'm not raising that baby for you.

While we're here, let me just jump in one time. I mean, it's a skill. Because I said it was like 90-ish percent. There are studies that say that is. And then a few people in the comments were like, it's not 90 because I got pregnant. And I'm like, you're one of the 10%. You're one of the 10%.

You're not. Exactly. Anyway, I would say it's like 99% because, I mean, but maybe just in our case. People are going to get mad. Planned Parenthood said it's like 70 to 80. Anyway, let's keep it. We're on talkers. So let's do another doctor podcast. Another podcast. But anyway, so I just, I wanted to bring that up because we were never, we were never number one, like safe, careful. But we knew that if we got pregnant, we were in a place that we would be able to raise a child in a happy home and whatever. We were just ready to do it if that. We never looked at it as like being irresponsible. is like if it happened

this is an interesting story I did not know this I thought you guys were decision no both of us always like should we like Jesus take the wheel yeah and so that's really

in the moment I was just like oh my god you know what home me up and then yeah and then he did it's fun to say I know sorry mom

it is it's fun to say it's fun yeah it's fun to say but you guys she can relate but you guys are like where we have a stable relationship

we have enough money we can support it's sort of like a yolo decision but you're like if I get pregnant yes this child will come into a lot of home

And we want someone else to make the decision for us. God. Right. Jesus. Gravity. Shockingly, it happened. And we were nervous, but so excited because it was just this new journey that we kind of felt like, okay, we're in a good place.

Financially, we know that we have the help. You know, we have the flexibility of like staying at home with a child. But the idea that you have and the nervousness that you have around pregnancy, like giving birth or shitting on the table or tearing or just like loosening. your body or your freedom, all of that goes out the window when you get a bad scan, you know, like when things start going wrong in your pregnancy. And you're like, wait a minute, things can go wrong. And then you realize, like, how little information you as a woman or even as a man has

around pregnancy, like you really don't know what you don't know. And again, because like we never had really decided that we wanted to be parents and were actively pursuing having a kid, we just kind of went into it. not, I don't want to say naive, but like we were just ignorant to just all of the, it just really is like a miracle to have like a healthy. Right. I know. Yeah. But it's also like, I don't know. I don't know. I'm with you and that like let's be realistic here. But like that sucks too to go into it thinking like all these things could go wrong. I don't know. What's the middle ground? Like what's the healthiest? And I think like I'm a very glass half full person. And so

no matter what, I was always like, it's fine. Like everything's going to work out. I'm like lucky girl syndrome. But as we continued to progress. Which was horrible because like we got hit with bad news. Then we had to sit there. We had to process it. We get sad. We get depressed about it.

And then like you have to wait a couple weeks for your next scan. Then we're coming to terms with it. Then we're okay. We're like, this can be better. Then we go again. And then it's more bad news. And it's the same cycle. So it was like over and over.

And it was like that for six months. Yeah. Six and a half months. I didn't realize this. And this doesn't take away from anyone who has had a miscarriage or a sudden loss early on because that is traumatic in its own way, that's emotional in its own way. But truly when you find out that you're pregnant, and like I would have laughed at like someone who had said this previously before like, you know, getting pregnant, it does change you.

Like you become so connected to this little being that like this stack of cells. It doesn't even exist yet. So you're like, I will do anything to make sure that we get from point A to the finish line and do it whatever we need to do healthily. But yeah, so I think our story people can relate to, but it is very rare. And it's not to scare people, but it's to help make other people who experience

what we've experienced less alone because you feel like when we were getting bad anatomy scans and we just felt like we never have heard of other people who have experienced that before. I'm like, I see all my friends getting pregnant and having baby showers. And they're just like concerned about their stretch marks, you know, or staying up late or like their nipples cracking and just things.

Even just trying to get information on it, it was very like limited. And even like your doctors, they're just like, okay, well, we don't really know. And like you don't really know much until the pregnancy continues to progress.

And so you're just kind of crossing your fingers and praying. And again, I'm like, Lucky Girl syndrome, it's all going to work out. Oh my God. Until it doesn't. And then it just truly rips your heart out.

And it's like the most traumatic thing. And I feel like I could speak on it now from a place where like I'm not in tears because I buried it down. Not that I buried it down, but I just, I feel like it's almost like an out of body experience at this point because I've accepted it. Like there's nothing that you could do about it at this point. And it just comes in waves too.

Yeah. Like all grief. All grief. Yeah. It's like not linear. And that's like one of the things I feel like I learned when I was going through something of just like you think you're okay, then you're not comes out at weird times, weird triggers.

Yeah. And I think too, it's just like, you know, know, you biologically, as a mother when you get pregnant, you're willing, you want to do anything. You get so connected to, again, like I said, this thing, that there's no worse feeling than like when you get to that gestation and you have the connection, like you're feeling the move. He's kicking you. He has a name, you know, all these plans. And then it just in one second, you know, it changes. And so it makes you question everything. I think because, too, it was our first. And so it really spooked us because we have nothing positive to compare it to, like other people who have living children.

It's still detrimental to have a stillbirth or to lose your child at any gestation. But it's just, it's things that people go through, but they don't really speak on. And I had to grieve quietly. We took some time away from social media to just spend time with each other to reflect. But when we came back, I was like, I have so much that I want to speak on. I can't, like, keep this inside. So creatively, I was like, are we crossing a line if we add some comedy to it? You know, how do we speak on this without offending other people?

But then you also have to look back and be like, well, this is my trauma. Like, I'll just speak about how I want. Yeah, like there's no right or wrong way to really talk about this. And we settled on dark comedy. I think it's brave that you guys did it. I mean, I remember when you announced it. I remember being up in my bedroom when you announced that you lost the pregnancy. And I like sent it to Ashley.

and I mean, thousands of people like went to your content. I remember like reading it. You just were so vulnerable and honest and you had announced it in such a big way. And so to have to just come back to social media and talk about it so publicly, like it's brave. I'm sure it changed a lot of people's lives, honestly. It also helped us though, too. Yeah. Just to kind of like get it.

I mean, I didn't want to talk about it at all to begin with. And then like after. The pregnancy at all? No, just like everything we went through with it. Like our struggles. During the whole time, like it wasn't. great. So like we didn't want to do a baby shower. We didn't want to do anything. We just wanted to like make sure he was okay. And he wasn't. So I didn't want to like. And then when we did lose him,

I didn't want to share and talk about it. But I noticed that it does help the more you talk about it. Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about that. The question I'm not asking is do you regret sharing in the first place? That's not the question. But like I want to talk about in general sharing these things, whether you're an influencer or not and then something goes wrong. I mean, this is why some people don't. Right. You know, and so I'm sure you can speak on your own experience. It sounds like it was helpful to get it out, speak to other people, feel all the love and the support. I think that really matters. But like, what are your feelings about that whole process of sharing it and then having to share the bad? Well, when we first announced, I think I was 15 weeks pregnant when I announced. And they

say like don't announce until you know your 12 weeks or in the second trimester you know for safety purposes but then when something like that happens you realize there's no safe zone to announce like something can happen at any time but we because we had been you know dink dual income no kids content creators we actually got a lot of hate from people who were like pissed that we got pregnant that makes me so mad no literally like there was but people also assumed that we were taking jabs at pregnant people and we never were we just our content was like what our lives were at that time no but People who were resonating with us because they were dual income, no kids were pissed that we now are leaving the club.

And we never said we were never going to have kids. We always were just like, we don't know. Or that other people were stupid for having kids. Yes. And we never said that. We were like, and to each their own, like, whatever your fucking journey is. But this one girl, like, literally made a video about us. And she was like, I'm so disappointed in Alex and John for literally.

And she's like, I can't relate anymore. Yes. And so people were like, dude, these are inside thoughts. Like, go buy a fucking journal. at five and below. And these are real people. Yeah. And so we had announced and we got that and so I was kind of just like, what? Like, you know, we're on this journey.

And so when things started to go bad in our pregnancy journey, I was like, oh my gosh, like I felt stupid that we announced because then I got nervous. I was like, oh my gosh, what if something does happen? But I knew that we didn't announce too early. Like we announced when we, quote, quote, should have. There's no right or wrong time.

If you're pregnant, most people announced to their friends on Instagram. Whether you have a following or not, people are like, this is what you get for putting your shit online. I'm like, dude, everyone fucking puts their...

Yeah, it's really weird. The mindset is sick. The comments section, like I generally stay out of it. And 99.9% of our comments are so beautiful and positive. But it's the loud ones, the negative ones that really, of course,

make you question everything and your worth. So I'm like, why are we doing this? Well, it makes you be like, I generously gave you something about my life. How dare you do this to me? And so we questioned about sharing about the loss, but I was like, we can't not.

Like, we literally made all this, like, practicing content. They're going to know. Yeah, they're going to know. They're never going to know. You're going to drink martinis at the club. Yeah, no. You have to say something. Yeah.

And I'm like, oh my God. And being in the public eye, I was like, how do we, like, number one, grieve this and do it publicly in a way that's appropriate and feels like we're still honoring our son. And so it was such a well thought out. And I don't want to say strategic, but we. were very careful about what we put out and how we put out it because I was second-guessing everything. I was just like, I don't even know up from down. Like I couldn't breathe.

So that's why we took about a month off. We had stopped our podcast because it just, everything felt so overwhelming. And I was like, fuck, nothing matters. Like, I don't care about anything at that point. That was the hardest part for me was I don't know exactly what she's going through and I'm just trying to be there for her. I'm like, what can I do and feeling like helpless? Like, I can't take your pain away.

You know, I'm just sitting with her all day. I'm just trying to get her out of bed. Like that was scary seeing that. But it's your pain. You're hurting too. You know. I know. I'm just,

it's kind of. It's funny. It's like who said to us? Well, we met with a grief counselor. You're dead. After. Well, because I have been going to therapy.

I've had the same therapist for about three years. So throughout my pregnancy, even when I found out I was pregnant, I was like, I don't know. Is this horrible? You know, like just the natural thing of like just getting pregnant

and not being sure if you're even ready for that yet. So she was super helpful walking through the journey with me from the beginning to the end but then we met with a specific grief counselor and I had brought up to her I was like you know I feel like John is not grieving in the way that I am like does he care and that's what I was trying to get across you know in this group grief counseling session and she put it back on me it was like but how would you feel if he was grieving as hard as you were grieving and I was like it made me realize like I needed him to be strong for me and he was being strong for me so I think when we got to a place where I could breathe again, I could talk about it without, because there was a

point where, like, I couldn't even talk on the phone with a doctor to make an appointment without sobbing. But once I was able to come up for air, he started to grieve. Did you feel like, John, like you weren't allowed to be as upset as her and you need to, like, is that why maybe it read as I don't care? I don't think you really use those words. I just wasn't as emotional at the time as she was. And then I don't know why it makes like being in health care, being around people that we're sick or whatever. I just never, and that time's like not the time for me to grieve,

I guess. That's the feeling I had. So then when she was okay, and then, like, it started hitting me different times because, like, we also have family members who are getting pregnant,

and, like, now that stuff kind of is, like, being a reality. So, but it just, it just comes at random times. Yeah. Yeah.

It's waves now, for sure. Like, it started, you know, 24-7, and then it was like, okay, I'm only crying from the hours of 8 a.m. to 9 p.m.

And then it was like just nighttime. And now it's like, you know, it just random things will trigger it. But you really don't know. But that's just grief. And we're still learning. Again, there's no right or wrong way to grieve. And I think just keeping a positive perspective about it is just like, we're healthy. We have each other.

And that's really all that matters. And it's like at one point, you know, I was very angry at what happened because I was like, why the fuck me? You know? And I know that this happens to a lot of other people. but I toxicly, positively, I'm trying to see the other side and why did this happen to me. I have a platform. I'm able to reach a lot of other people if they feel less alone.

Totally. That means something, you know? Yeah. You can feel that in the comments. You probably helped a lot of people. I think that really helped me out a lot too, like seeing everyone. So not to segue, but we shot a short film called Chower and kind of based off of us a little bit. I'll let you touch on that.

But we posted the teaser in all the comments. everyone's like, oh my God, I needed this. There's like, you know, there's nothing out there like that. And I think that's really helped a lot too, like being an advocate for people dealing with loss. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So the short film, like, I just need to, as like a creative, I just like write whatever, whatever comes to mind, I just have to get it out there. And so when we were thinking about shooting our short film, I was like, I do not want to create anything based off of like our loss.

you know, even though that's all I was thinking of. Like, certain little comedic things would happen. I'm like, we could really make like a dark comedy about this thing, though, because just random things like going into the funeral home, like to work out our cremation of our son. And I'm just like, this is the most depressing place. But like, just the awkward interactions that you have that you could twist into dark comedy.

So I just started writing down notes. And then I was talking to our team about it, Neeloo, who I love and she's just been like, my rock throughout this as well. And again, just like surrounding yourself with positive people who you love is so important of like navigating loss as well. But anyway, I was talking to her about it. She was like, why not? Like, why not just write about it? You know, see what happens.

And so I just pen to paper, started writing. And then we created shower based off of a couple. It's after a devastating loss. A husband helps his grieving wife prepare for her best friend's baby shower. And at that point, I didn't have anyone in my life who was pregnant at the time, super close to. to me who was planning a baby shower or anything, but I was like, I would probably have, or someone who's in my shoes would have this interaction after going through this really traumatic loss, having to put a brave face on and like what types of questions would they have to interact with?

So it's a comedy. And after I wrote it, two people in our lives. The day of shooting. Well, no, no, no. Two people in our lives, we found out that they were expecting. And I'm like, oh, my God. And I'm like, I need to put this out there. Because literally the lines that I was speaking from what I wrote in the short,

film. I was speaking now in real life. And I'm like, wow. God, like, this is so necessary. And then the morning of shooting, I got invited to a baby shower. And I was just like, Jesus. So yeah. And we put it out into the film festival circuit, whether it does well or not. I'm like, this is just for us. It's for people who have gone through this experience, people who know someone. And after we had shared a teaser, we were out, me and my cousin at a fair and you were there too. But this girl stopped me and she was like, I just want to thank you so much. She was like, I didn't experience a loss, but my best friend did yesterday. And she was like, I shared your teaser with her.

And she just felt so seen. And she was like, thank you for giving this, you know. So it just not that I'm like making lemonade out of lemons, but it's just like, what can you do? And as creative people, we had to put it out in some other way or platform. I'm saying just having a platform, we're lucky that we get to experience, like, people giving us positive feedback. Yeah. Because that helped out a lot. I think it's cathartic.

I can't imagine people who create content for living or do stand of comedy or whatever it is, not taking anything terrible that happens and eventually putting it into their art. I just think it's like the privilege of what we get to do. Yes. It's like have that catharsis and then reach people and hear their stories and help other people. I don't know. It's just kind of that like cycle. Right.

I was like, well, I hope this makes me funnier. You know, it's character development. Yeah. The real question is, do you feel bad for me now from making fun of me this whole fucking podcast? No, I feel like you really have done all the right things. I'm impressed. I'm feeling nothing but impressed. No, John's like, what now, bitch?

I lost my baby. What now? Say something funny. I mean, I could, but I could cancel. You guys can make jokes about it. I can't, okay? I'm like, the amount of, like, stand-up jokes that I'm like, I need to get on stage. Like, yeah.

Yeah. The amount of dead baby jokes, I'm just kidding. I mean, it is really cathartic. Whatever. You have to. One time I was very nervous about something that was going to happen. I said, what are we going to talk about on stage? And she was like, whatever happened.

It's what we're going to talk about. And it is a privilege. And I just, I love this story so much because people are like, how are you guys doing? And you've been so generous. And I really do think you've, like, changed people's lives. Like, even our audience asks, like, well, how do you deal with grief between you? And to be even just be like, this is how I supported my wife. This is how I supported myself during grief.

Like, I just, I love this story so much. I think, though, like, rewinding about choosing a partner because I know how we were talking about, like, feeling at home and not feeling anxious. Like, it is so important to think of in good times and in bed. this is the bad. If I didn't have John or someone like John to lift me up or just someone to lean on during this time, like I don't know that I would have made it through. Like he was truly my rock. No, it really was so important having him be that for me because like when you get married and you make the vows in good times and in bad, you don't think about the bad being this bad. And it was

horrible. But like, we made it. I mean, I think people should think about that whether, I mean, this is a loss of a child, which not everybody experiences, but your parents are going to die. You know, like, these are things I obviously thought about with choosing my partner, like I picked him out of the lineup. But just like those things are going to happen. They're just inevitable, terrible things are going to happen. And you can't totally predict the future of how someone's going to act. But if you're with somebody in a relationship, you can probably start, yes, a little bit. Yeah. You can see how they support you now, even the littlest thing that goes. I mean, you just can think of, is that the person that's going to be by your side? I mean, this is when we talk about,

different types of personalities. We talk about narcissists and things like that. And you're like, I can't imagine the women who are like with a partner like that who is more narcissistic or not supportive and then these terrible things happen. Like it makes it even worse. As if you had nobody almost, you know what I mean? You're doing it alone. Yeah. Like I felt like if anything, I wasn't there for you enough because I was like, I'm helpless. Like and again, I was dealing a lot more physically. But the physical part of losing a child, there's all that too. That late term, like is nothing compared to the emotional and the mental, but still being stuck with like, you know, my body was so different and I had to deal with so much postpartum. And I'm like,

I have postpartum depression with no baby. Like, how is that? You know, and then having John having to like, you know, get me into the shower, cook for me, like just make sure that I was like getting sun, like going outside, eating. And again, these are just such important things to think about when you're choosing a partner, you know. And then you don't have to answer this if it's too personal, but we got some questions about, like, what's your mindset now with kids? And again, if that's too much. We talk about this all the time.

I thought it would change. Like, I thought my mindset would change, like, okay, this makes me not want to try again or makes me want to try even more. And I feel like I'm in the same position as we were before where it's like, what do we want to do? I think because we're so traumatized. And then now we're, I don't want to say we're healed,

but like we're in a better place now that we can, you know, travel. We're kind of like, I mean, this child, free life is still great. So it's like, what do we do? We know, though, that our hearts were expanded in a way that is unexplainable. And we really don't know. Like, I just think it's too early to tell. Like, we're still healing.

And I don't think that we need to know right now. You've done. I want to know, though. I would love to know. We talk about it every day. It's like driving us crazy. How can we make this decision? Yeah.

Like, do we want to move forward and be parents or not? But it's funny. Gravity take charge again? So are you pulling out? Like, where are you coming, John? We had that question mid, mid-smash. What are we doing here? What are we doing here?

I'm not even getting in. Eye contact. I'm a weak bitch. I'm a weak bitch. I'm like, you decide. You decide. Yeah. You choose.

Straight eye contact. Like, what are we doing? Yeah. I know. You got to tell me soon. So we'll see. Yeah. Well, we're along for the journey.

Thank you guys for sharing all of that and being so open and vulnerable. you guys, I feel like you have such an amazing platform to have serious conversations, but also to, you know, make dick jokes and laugh. And so I feel like this is a very safe space. So thank you guys for having us. Were you bringing us on for a relationship advice? Or like, did you? About for me? Do you think I need your relationship? We're going to do a few. We're going to go through a couple scenarios. Yeah, we pulled some fun emails for you. I love it. Let's do it. Okay. Also, John, stick around. Give me a relationship advice. Okay. So we, we just asked our audience, like, settle this argument for us, basically.

Am I in the wrong or they? And we pulled a couple emails for you guys. Oh my gosh. And you guys don't have the same last name, but you sort of do. We do legally. Well, let's read the email. We're going to read the email and then we'll tell you. Legally.

My husband and I are struggling with the last name situation. She asked us to not say the last name. Okay. Which is annoying. Whatever. Is it a cool last name? Right. Hers is cool.

Hers is cool. His is not. His is so stupid. Yeah. It's tough. Imagine a stupid last name is that. Okay. Okay.

His last name is a boring white man name. Mine is cooler. It has more. meaning. My family is Jewish and we had ancestors in the Holocaust, it was very meaningful to us. His family are Trump supporters. We strongly disagree with them. They also live in Florida. We live in Ohio. We never see them. My family is in Ohio with us. We see them every Sunday for family dinner. They help pay for my husband's grad school. We are way closer with them. I want him to take my name, or at least my kids take my name. But he isn't here for it. He says he doesn't want to embarrass his family.

embarrass his family. They're already embarrassed. They don't get embarrassed. They're not going to be embarrassed. She says, I want us all to have the same last name to be a family unit. What are your thoughts? I mean, right now, it's very one-sided. Obviously, she's writing the email.

So it's like, my last name has meaning. I'm like, how do you know his fucking last name? Does that have meaning for him? Sure. This is why we need a boy. There's no holocaust on his last name. Yeah, no holocaust on his side. True.

This is a rough question, though. It is. I agree. Like, you should decide. together what last name you want but then I'm biased I'm like

you're gonna have to take my last name but I also hate my last name so when we were getting married was there a curb episode do you as much curb oh yeah and Larry convinced them to take the one's last name

I remember it was a huge fight okay this was this past season okay I haven't caught off to this season yeah but so I took John's last name but I don't like his last name so I go by my middle name Madison isn't it buffet buffet yeah

I know Like Phoebe's buffet. Boffey. If it was buffet, I would take it. I'll just go to myself. Girls gotta eat. It's French Canadian. Bufard.

It's hard to say. I just know about Buf. That's, I just, John Bufar. Bufar. Have you looked up Boof in an urban dictionary? Phoebe buffet I'll say you beat my pants. I'm like holding it back. No, someone came up to me once and they were like,

are you Mrs. Booth? And I was like, I'm not. I am not. No. Wrong girl. And it sounds like they're not also going to hyphenate it, by the way. Like, it is one or the other. Let's say the reasons why, though.

I actually think they should just keep their own last name. I was just going to say, if we were to get married now, I would have kept my maiden name. Yeah. It is such a fucking bitch to change your last name for no reason. For no fucking reason. We're already fighting about it right now because her passport is still my maiden name. Go. Go.

Go. Go. Go. Go, go. Go, God. No, you tell us. Tell us. Tell us story about my passport.

I'll just look at the, I'll just look at the fucking wall. Go ahead. No story, John. I won't tell the story because it's annoying because... It's my last name. You already took it from me. Wait, what is your last name? My maiden name was Demado.

So a nice Italian. No, those Italian names, you can't give them up. I guess you did. My mom's last name is. But a mistake. I made a mistake. What is it? Dantino, Domato.

That's his mom's made in names. But his last name is... She gave it up for Buffard? Yeah. I like Boof. I mean, listen, they're all good names. Look up Boof in the Urban Dictionary. So I am team, don't change your last name.

But I don't think that you should force your partner to take your last name either. If you're going to change a name, go with the cooler name. Like, whose name is better? This is interesting. I've never heard of, I don't want to take his last name. And he's upset because the kids. I've never heard it being like, but you take mine. Right.

Yeah. I don't want to shame her. This man also, like with his Trump supporting family, isn't going to probably take your Jewish last name. And that's, no. Most men wouldn't take a last name no matter what they got going on. And people know where we stand. politically. It was not that, but it's just like, you guys got to keep your own if neither's willing to change and then hyphenate for your kids or something. Like, it feels like neither of you wants to

compromise. So the compromises neither of you gets what you want. Exactly. He's not going to take your last name. He doesn't want to. Just like you don't take his. One hundred percent. She's saying, well, neither of us wants this, but my needs supersede his because we're closer with my family and the Holocaust. The Holocaust. The Holocaust is a real Trump card. But like, it's in Sex and City. Why I keep it because she goes, but now, Charlotte says, but now because you brought up the Holocaust. about Harry's mom. It's a thing.

Yeah. Okay. Jews are sensitive. I mean, Jews, we really, we think about the Holocaust a lot and we don't ever want to, like, forget that this is a thing that we struggled through. Absolutely. To get rid of that name that, like, made it through the Holocaust, I understand, is a very sensitive pain point.

But then the solution to me is to hyphenate it. I agree. What goes first? It's going to sound crazy. We can't say the name. No, no, no. No, she's saying, her name come first or does his name come first? Does that matter?

For the kids. For the kids. I think you rock paper or scissors. Yeah. I just don't think. Actually, that's not a bad idea. Keep your own last names and your kids are hyphenated, but then figure out how to.

So that's hard, too. I don't know that I like this whole, like, but my parents paid for your grad schools. It feels a little bit like, but my parents did this free. You should be getting married, honestly. Like, your relationship is in Chambles. No, I think everyone should break up.

But I'm with you, like, saying, like, well, his family lives in Florida and their Trump supporters, well, what does that have to do with anything? You're marrying him. You're not marrying. Like, yes, I know you marry somebody's family. She's just saying my family's better.

Yeah, she's saying my family's better. Which they are. My name. But you can't hold that over his head. Exactly. I don't want to sound like I'm picking aside because I don't even know how I feel. But yeah, go to therapy. It sounds like there's other issues in your relationship.

So let's maybe unpack that. Yeah. They're already married. It's very interesting to be in the thing. So she says my husband and I. Oh, shit. So they're already married. I'm like breakup.

I miss that. Yeah, they're already married. So it sounds like they didn't like resolve this ahead of time. This is sort of coming up because of children and she wants the kids that same name. And I understand like one family, one name. Before Ash and I started the podcast, like when I was, getting married, I would have changed my last name to his name.

Because I grew up, my mom a different last name than mine. It was just like a pain in the ass growing up, you know? But he's like, I don't want to give up my last name. And she's like, don't change your last name. And also the kids get it. It doesn't feel fair. Yeah, it's right. There's no way.

Me changing my name is not on the table. But yeah, at all. But it's like, where's the compromise with the kids? But the kids, I get it. Maybe just make up last name for the kids. Everyone's different. Hybrid it. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Confused the shit out of them. Perfect. Yeah. Who makes more money? I asked to make the kids Hypenating that though hyphenated And to your point

Rock paper, scissors It's fair and square I can't It's gonna sound crazy you guys But we'll share it after Yeah Like those kids are gonna be like Fuck all the way off

Mom and Dad Okay so here's one about in-laws And what's your story with your in-laws Like you guys all cool? Love both sides One of the reasons why I was like I have to marry John Is because the family

Yeah I love them My sister like best friend I love her That's how like my family I'm really cool with his sister too That's great. Yeah. We just haven't spent as much time together as some of my brother.

It's just, it's so special. Yeah, it's important. All right. My in-laws that are very wealthy. What's going on with all the wealthy in-laws? I mean, but that's important.

Yeah, that is important. Are coming to visit us later this month. My husband, toddler and I live in a one-bedroom apartment, so it's already tight quarters. Keep that in mind. My in-laws want to stay in our apartment with us. They offered to take our bed. They offered.

We'll take the bed. And my husband and I could sleep on the couch. I was shocked at this idea for a couple of reasons. One, they are very well off financially and could easily pay for hotel. two, they are completely aware. We live in a one bedroom, one bathroom, one bathroom with a toddler. Is this real? Who in the right mind thinks it's a good idea?

My husband doesn't think it's a big deal and we should let them stay with us, but I do not want this. Am I being ridiculous? No, get a fucking hotel room. This is on her husband, though, to say, hi, we have an air mattress that you could sleep on or you could get a hotel. We're going to leave our bedroom for you guys. A baby. Yeah, the toddler. I really feel like that's our parents generation.

Like they want to be in the same. Yes, in the same vicinity. Yeah. A one bedroom with a child. Are they even going to have fun? That's already too tight for the three of that. Yeah, in my opinion. It's crazy.

No, I think it's on the husband to address this. Like, your husband needs to understand that this is not okay with you. This is a boundary. And your husband needs to bring this up to his parents and say, I'm sorry, we're squished. You can't stay here. This is just a square footage issue. Yeah, exactly. Like, and also, I'm sorry.

Like, just bathroom. I don't want to be sharing a bathroom with my father-in-law. Yeah. No, I'm good. Yeah, like, it's what the tub has got a bunch of toys in it. you know, like, this is crazy. It would be different if it was like, they don't have any money,

and it's just nice that they're going to come, but it's like, it sounds like they can afford a hotel, and it's crazy her husband is like not at our team about this. I wonder culturally what they are too. We want to impose themselves on them like that. Like, let me get in your personal space.

Generational, but like I just, cultural too. You know, who's to say, like, but taking their bed? I'm sure they're not aware. I'm sure they're like, clueless about it. But you're right.

Some people are just like, it would be inconceivable to not stay with your family when you go somewhere. Also, they could be wealthy but cheap. Yeah. They could be those people that are like, we're not paying for a hotel. There's like a few different options though.

Like if they stay, like they're sleeping on the couch, the pullout. Right. And Las slept in my bed. Imagine. But where's the toddler sleeping? Enjoy my room. I'll just be right out here outside the door. Actually, I want to know where the toddler sleeps anyway.

Maybe in their room. Yeah. I don't know. They are cramped. I would send them hotel options, Airbnb options. Yeah. Or you could sleep on the couch. But that's the last option.

And they need to upgrade too. They need some money from the rich family. Ashley just can't believe that they live in this apartment with a kid. Crazy. Ashley's like, I want to talk about the real issue at hand. No. Anyway, to wrap that one up, break up. Just kidding.

Yeah, break up. Everyone break up. We're on her side and your husband should back you up. For sure. That's a whole thing too. Like, you've got to deal with this. It's your family. Like, we have to be united front.

You have to tell them they're being crazy. Okay. This last one, she writes, I recently read the book Chain Gang All Stars. So good, but very intense. And posed a situation that came up in the plot to my boyfriend Eric. Oh, she's name dropping. We love it.

basically in the book, two lovers are pitted against each other in a hunger game-style prison fight where they have to kill each other for the entertainment of the rich. I was like, well, we would both just kill ourselves to avoid murdering each other, right? And Eric said, no, one of us should live. I was like, you'd want to keep living after you murder me? And he said, I quote, I'd move on. Oh, shit. Then she writes, I think this is insane, borderline psychopathic take.

Am I wrong? Listen, are we all on Eric's side here? Be honest. There's certain things. Eric should a lie. I'm definitely scared of sharks. And I told Alex, she wants a scuba dive. I'm like, I'm not going.

And if you get mauled by a fucking shark, you're up by yourself. That's the one thing. I'm not going to jump in in the water. But you're the shark also. Like, you're both sharks in the situation. Like, you have to kill each other for entertainment. Has to die here.

Okay, my best case scenario is that he promises to let me kill him. Right. So that I can move on. Are you taking his last name then? no I'm from the Holocaust I'm from the Holocaust no you're not taking his last name and he's going to die for you

I'm from it that's insane it's not just I'd move on without you it's I will have killed you and gotten over it it's fine I don't know I don't think my partner should admit that he would kill me even in a fake scenario

that's what I'm saying don't you think he should say I'll let you kill me so that you can go on I would want you to go on I'm trying to think Because if John and I actually, like, neither of us would back down. Yeah, like, we would, it would be a fair fight.

Like, we, yeah. You're so competitive. You're like, I want to do this? Yeah, no. So I think it would be a legit fight. And I don't know who would win. Yeah. I love this response.

You guys are like, I'm not ready. Yes. I'm trying to get too deep with it, but we'll decide. I don't know about Eric, you guys. We'll know. Eric, the fact that he's so okay with killing you off and then moving on and admitting that. I'm Eric. Like, I feel like that.

But I feel like there's a double standard here. as the woman like yeah I should be living yeah like that's a bad bitch like I'm a bit killed my husband I'm moving on Eric you just you killed your wife I don't like Eric's an abuser yeah cancel Eric I'm sorry has Eric ever been in a relationship for like when you get asked those questions you're like babe you're being ridiculous hashtag break up with a survivalist that's true like it's a scenario that's never going to happen tell me what I want to hear ignore or ignore it and be like babe I'm not answering that he he let's go get right food right I would kill myself so I didn't have to kill you and you and you

would move on. And like keeping your brain, your little P brain, what you would actually do. I know you wouldn't do it right. I love how good pet of you guys are. You're like, no, I want to see you wins. No, yeah, we would. We would fight to death. I'd be like, good luck. This is like Black Mirror. But then I do think honestly, and this is my perspective of what I'm telling myself,

I do think you would feel bad and you would let me kill you. Do you do they win money? I don't know if they win money. They're doing it for entertainment for the rich. But do they also win anything? So it's like just a hypothetical price. Yeah. Like, is there like prize money? because that changes the game too.

That does also, like, am I also going to be rich if I don't like get to do with you? Yeah, like, will I end up with like hot suitors after this? Is there someone waiting for me after this fight? Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.

Alex brings her knee ands for. She's like, what up now? Exactly. Ugh, but they had horrible personalities. Like, you know, I'd probably,

we would just run circles a whole time. I'd be like, neither of us can kill each other. Oh, no. Everyone's bored. They should us. I'm definitely murdering Alice.

Oh, my God. Now I've got to read this book to see what happens. I know. What is this book? All right, guys. Well, thank you so much. For answering all these for being so vulnerable.

Thank you for having us. This was incredible. Yeah, we love you guys so much. Thank you. So fun. Come back anytime. You guys have to follow them on Instagram, TikTok. Their content is really unbelievable.

It's just so feel good and funny. So tell me where to find you guys. Alexandra Madison. I actually don't know like what the, it's either two ends. Two ends, I think. Yeah. And then John is. Are you going to say it for me?

You're going to say what mine. No, go ahead, John. I actually hate mine. I need to change it. Help me change it. John Boof. John dot boof Don't Boof

I'm Braina Greenberg Yeah sometimes you got a dot And then the podcast Our podcast is coming It's on hiatus But it's gonna come back early 2025

Okay people ask that as well It's called give it to me straight podcasts And then like we're on all the socials YouTube you can find us there And the movie can people watch the movie? Yeah so shower well we have hashtag cringe Which is out It's a short film about an influencer couple

Who go on a brand trip When they reveal secrets about their marriage But then shower because of the film festival circuit, we won't be able to share that fully until later in the year, or like, I guess, 2025. So we'll keep everyone in the loop for that.

The teaser's on your Instagram. Yeah, but the teaser's out there. Okay. Yeah, it sounds like the teaser has already made an impact. Yeah. All right, guys. Thank you guys.

Thank you guys. And you guys know where to find us, girls got to eat.com for tour tickets. Girls Got Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess. Rina's ran to greenberg. Our other company, Vives Only, Vives Only.com.

Subscribe on YouTube. Share this episode with a friend. and we will see you Thursday. Have a good couple days, guys. Bye.