Girls Gotta Eat - Using Your Astrology to Live Your Fullest Life with Dr. Jennifer Freed

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

We are thrilled to be joined by psychological astrologer and author Jennifer Freed, Ph.D. who walks us through the four astrological elements and discusses how to use our cosmic DNA to live our fullest lives, choose partners, and have better sex. She debunks the narrative of certain signs being compatible with each other, provides life hacks for finding a healthy partner if your picker is off, and explains why we choose partners like our parents. And she educates us about what being "above the line" and "below the line" means, and we chat about how you can be your sexiest and most confident self. Before Jennifer joins us, we're catching up on a throuple Ashley encountered in Denver, a guy Rayna met with a surprising twist, and if should follow up on a booty call. Enjoy! Follow Jennifer on Instagram @drjenniferfreed and check out her website for more. Follow us @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Daily Harvest: Get up to $40 off your first box at dailyharvest.com/gge. Story Worth: Get $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/gge. Milk Bar: Get $15 off any order of $80 or more when you go to milkbarstore.com/gge. Blueland: Go to blueland.com/gge to get 15% off your first order. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've only been fed a few scripts for a relationship, what you should want and how you should want it. Blow it all up. It can be anything. Girls got to eat. Welcome back. It's 4.15 and it's dark. So we have 20 minutes to finish this intro before I go to sleep. Can you imagine?

And it's like, she was like, that was really short this week. It's like, well, Raina tapped out as soon as the sunset. You know how I am once the sun goes down. I can't record. I thought we were done with this. I didn't know that this is. stalled in Congress. I am a single issue voter from here on out. I am voting solely based on daylight savings. So I got missed, I got multiple types of information. Initially, I just thought that they

decided to ride it out for 2022 and they're like, let's finish strong. Let's like ruin everybody's life again. Yeah. And then I knew that we were canceling it for 2023 and then I saw that it was stalled in Congress. So now I don't know what to believe. I don't know where the truth lies. I'll let us I'll be a Republican. I don't care. I'm kidding. I would never. But like, who's holding this up? What's this? I don't really understand. Is it like the tides? Is it weathered?

Like farmers are farmers upset? It's a fact. So I was reading about where daylight savings started when you get more light. So when you actually spring forward in the spring and you get that extra hour of daylight, it helps the economy. Yeah, the good one. People like stay out. They buy shit after work. Right.

Nothing is worse for the economy than this. This is the bad one. I don't know why we did this. Now we're not going to undo it. Now I want it in 2023. All right. Well, just like, give us a list of who's holding this up. This is the only thing I'm voting for tomorrow.

I know, you guys, we are recording this before we have voted in full elections are from the midterm. So just saying this is being recorded before. So if someone's like, you didn't address this thing, it's like, Can't speak on it? We can't speak on it. Elon Musk just tweeted out that everybody should. I don't say his name to me.

Do not. I feel enraged about all of it. Well, he tweeted out that everybody should vote Republican. I feel sick about all of it. Outrage. My friends that work at Twitter, all the things. I just feel for anybody. I fucking hate all of it.

Well, and they lay it off like 50% of their workforce. Which is also illegal. You have to let, did you know, like I was reading from this labor lawyer, you have to notify employees when you're about to do a massive layoff, which is a certain amount of people in a certain period of time. Like he violated. But I'm also like, what happens if you violate these laws, you get a fine, he can pay the fine.

I'm not sure, but I read like when you do a massive layoff, you have to let employees know. in the state of California? I can't speak to employment law. I don't know, but if it's a privatized company, I don't know. I don't know, like, who's holding you accountable. You just pay the fine to, like, California, and they're like, I don't know. Don't do it again. We don't know.

I'm getting on this for Twitter, but then who knows what's really? And that, Ashley's like, well, what I read on Twitter. And that lawyer is probably blocked from Twitter now. Okay. Great episode today. We're excited to get into it. We are on tour. You are on tour.

How was it? Should we get into that first? I mean, yeah, I'll wrap my tour up. The Camel Toot Tour is over now as we're recording. As I just got back from Denver and I'll be heading to Nashville and Atlanta. But as this records, I will have done all of that. So Denver was insane, as always. I did four sold-out shows at Comedy Works, which we love.

That was the place we played for Girls. Got to eat the first time we went to Denver. And just it's a magical place. The audiences are just so wild. The room is so loud. It's the energy is unlike any other. comedy club. So I just loved it so much. It was so fun. A lot of couples came, which I love to see it. I just love, of course I love like all of our girls and the gays, but like when there's these

couples that I can kind of like fuck around with, it's so fun. A thruple came. I asked who was married. I wanted to do a thing about who was married, a little crowd was doing, I did a lot of crowd work, but these three people spoke up and he was like, I've been married to her for 12 years and her for one year. And I was like, what is going on? And it was the one that he'd been married to for 12 years, her birthday. This thruple, Thruple date. They were probably, they were probably, they were like older than us, probably. Like, I, so like 28, 29. Yeah, they were like probably 30. Ew. No, probably. I mean, I could, you know, again, it's dark in there and I couldn't get such a good look. Maybe, I mean, 40s, like, I, I didn't feel like they were older than, than us. Like, you know,

in the middle age. And they were a thruple and they were at my show. I was like, Am I this cool? I was like so honored. And that it was her birthday. I was like, what are you, what, what's going on? And I felt like the two women were like into each other more than that man. I would have canceled the whole show and only talked to them. Well, I did.

Yeah, I was like, this is all we're doing now. And then, you know, one other thing. So very few single guys came to the shows, but I spoke to all of them that came. And the very last show, which was, I mean, the last show anytime is always going to kind to be the most lit. It's always my favorite. I'm done, you know, you know, so it's like the late Saturday show. I ask who's single.

This guy comes up from the back, and he's just a very classically attractive white man, you know. And I had been talking to this other guy in the audience about doggy style or something. I don't remember. And basically I was like, are you into doggy style? And he goes, it's probably my third favorite position. Which you never hear about doggy style. Doggy style ranks at least number two, if not number one.

So I go, oh, third, what's one and two? And he goes, well, they call me missionary Dave. Who calls him that? I'm like, first of all, ew. Like, that just means you're boring and bet. I mean, nothing's wrong with missionary. We all do missionary. Yeah, but if that's your nickname, you are boring and bad.

So I just start going in where I was like, Dave, let me ask you something. You're probably, you're a good-looking guy. You're tall. You look athletic. You're a white man. You know, you've probably never had to try too hard at much of anything. He goes, yeah, life's been pretty easy. Like, yeah, no, I just don't really have to do it.

Like, it was just the, no, I completely understand it. No, I completely, people, no one looks at me and it's like, she's probably starfish Raina. Like, people are like, she's got to try a little bit harder. Like, I completely understand this. That is so funny and, like, that it's been talked about so much. Like some girls were like, I'll get on top of her as cowgirl. And he's like, no, we're doing it mission. Like it's become like stuff of legend.

I don't even know how to say. It was just like, it was like a stereotype of a person. Yes. I see him in my eyes. And then the other guy, there was one other single guy to show. And he was there with his sister. And I was like, what are you into? And immediately he goes, roll play.

I was like, okay. With your sister next to you? And I was like, like, like, you know, like ropes and stuff. I'm like, all right. Are we moving in Denver? Holy shit. You either get missionary Dave or you. You get a guy who's going to talk about chying you up in front of his family.

If that guy is talking about that in front of his family, what does he do when his family isn't around? This is crazy. So I, again, these are just some highlights from the shows. And one other thing I thought of you. So I bring Oscar Aden on the road with me. This is the third time he's come with me. He came to Chicago. He came to Boston.

And I love him so much. You guys should follow him. He's such a hilarious comedian. We have such a good rapport when he opens. I come out and I kind of play off him. And it's just been so great. but we Saturday we went to brunch we went to softa which is rain and I got a fight when it first opened we went and that's where we got a public fight in this restaurant

people were looking rain was mad I wasn't giving enough attention actually was giving me no attention Ashley was on her phone the entire lunch never looked up never talked to me and then what did I say to you I can't I don't remember to something bitchy you know what like you're in your head and you're like thinking it you're thinking and you're like don't do it don't do it do it are you going to talk to me this whole lunch that's like what I did I think I was like posting something for a brand And you were like, I'm working. So we love this place.

It was nice to reminisce. They do a brunch buffet. I would thought of you the whole time. And then Jenny Jones came and a couple other girlfriends. But Oscar and I took the scooters there. Like we took the lift scooters. And I love to like ride bikes around cities and e-bike and scooters. But they do, they're a little scary sometimes, especially like a new place you get going really fast.

And so we were like flying around the city on these scooters. And I was like, Raina would die. First of all, she wouldn't set foot on this, but if she did, she would... I just can't even imagine what it would be like. Like, you wouldn't get on it, would you? I feel like I want to try it, but like I can't ride a bike. So, like, I don't know why a scooter would be any different. Maybe like a motorized.

Yeah, they're motorized, of course. Like, I could maybe do it, but they're like razor thin, right? They're the motorized kind. I feel like I scan them in and yeah, you're flying around the city. It was really fun. It sounds terrifying. And I was like, this is an activity that I just came experience with Raina. You know, like, couples are like, you never do that with me.

It's like, I won't do this. with you on the road. Now you're like so happy with that. I always think like, what does she do without me and Bella on the road? Does she even like this? So Oscar and I really like to do brunch and now we're like we're scooting and we go to vintage stores. That's kind of our thing. Oh, that's cute. I love Oscar if you guys ever have an opportunity to see him. And if you ever have an opportunity to go to Alon Shaya's restaurants, they're incredible. He is a phenomenal Israeli chef. And I think he does have other places in New Orleans. It's ever. I mean, I mean, Rainey, you would have lost your mind. Like I just, I've never seen more of a like vibe for you

where it was like the buffet and all the foods you want, all the dips. And then you sent me a plate of hot mush and cold mush. It looked so good. Yeah. Bagels. There was eggplant. There was.

Oh my God. Smoked fish. They had these lamb meatballs. I was losing my mind. I love a lamb meatball. Yeah. Anyway. Such a nice trip.

Sounds like, yeah, it was a really great trip. I love Denver. I feel like I've been there a lot. Like, I will have gone four times in a year. Because you want Jared to, too. I forgot. And we've performed there twice.

Yeah. With those weird strippers. You guys, well, we don't need to tell you to come to the Denver show because it's sold out as fuck. So thank you. But we will not have those strippers again. I promise. Unless it's a joke.

Somebody was like, only girls got to eat with like. You guys thought it was a joke. Those strippers were like, we got pumped. We paid for that. That wasn't a joke. Well, if you guys, if you want to come out to a show, we have, I think, 18 shows that we're doing in the next few months, starting in February, Girls Got Eat Podcast.com.

Tons of cities. We are so excited. Not everything is sold out. And then, of course, these are great for holiday tickets if you want. These are great. Single with a boyfriend, with your friends, birthday is everything. It's the best show in the world. It's the favorite thing in the world.

Bring your family. Talk about your kinks in front of your sister. Bonus points you bring your dad. If you bring your dad, I'll talk to you all night. Yeah. I mean, talk to anybody else. I mean, I'm living for it. So we got this comment.

And if you guys are familiar with us, we really don't give a lot of energy. First of all, we don't read a lot of negative commentary. We do not seek it out. We try to ignore it and we really don't like to give a lot of air to it. I protect my energy by not looking at it. And we don't want to provoke other people to do stuff like this. Except for when you come for the live shows.

It enrages me, the audacity. Well, also, if it's something that's so untrue, it's such a ridiculous opinion about what's happening. No one has ever echoed it before. I think it's the funniest. So we got this comment. This was like when we announced the tour, I'm not going to really give too much specifics.

You guys will go seek it out. But I don't care. It's a public comment. Yeah, I don't care. So do your thing. Okay. She comment, hope you come prepared with content versus on the fly like you did in Portland.

Maybe next time you could actually interview a person like on your podcast instead of making fun of your audience, hiring a male stripper to embarrass Raina and relying on email. content from your listeners. I'm going to take this one by one. I really could like redline this. What do you want to start with? The preparation.

I want to start with the unprepared. Okay. I would just like you guys to know, this stuff doesn't happen overnight. So we have Jets, T-shirt cannons, t-shirts that we're shooting. We have strippers. We have professional NBA and Edel dance. We write a whole outline. We source emails from people in the crowd so we can include you guys.

It is the height of preparedness. It's Bella's job. Bella's about to go into tour. remote. She will be the busiest person in this company. There's spreadsheets. There's so many contacts. I mean, I don't need to like jerk each other off on how much we prepare for the show. We just want you guys to know that we take this so seriously and there is so much preparation that goes into it. And there is it every single show is different. I don't even know another act that writes a new show for every city. No show is ever the same.

You'll never see the same show twice. We, Rain and I, of course, we share stories that you've never heard of the podcast. There is a, it runs on a PowerPoint. So we have different video assets and photo assets and things like that. It's all been planned out and then we do a bunch of segments. And then we never know what the fuck is going to happen. You and we never know what's going to happen in that room. And that is the absolute beauty of a girl's got to eat show is that it is wild. It is chaotic. It is partially planned but partially on the fly. And we truly never know what's going to happen. And that truly is the best part of it. And if you want to sit down, planned out interview, go to a fucking TED Talk. I cannot believe that someone would say that. And again, this is, again,

maybe it's different. Everybody's different. But like, how do we even? even end up here thinking that you were going to get that? How did you not think that was the most fun in the world? I don't know anybody that brings up more audience. Portland, the most fun. The two shows that I actually thought I was going to have to get off the state because I almost peeed my pants. I was really like holding in my pee from dripping down my leg.

That was the hardest I have laughed with the Portland Trailblazers, whatever. The dancers, yes. We put a lot of work into this and we've tons of people that come to see like two shows in the same city because you'll never see the same show twice. Making fun of the audience. Hold me back. Hold me back. Tell me you don't know what comedy is.

Like, first of all, it's, we're roasting our audience members who submit to be roasted. But also on top of that, then we further email them afterwards and say, are you sure that you want us to read this on stage? Is that okay? And we take all the care in the world. What she's referring to is crowdwork. Making fun of our audience. It's insane.

It's like, tell me you shouldn't ever be a comedy show again without telling me. Like, you don't get it. Right. I took offense to this thing that we would make fun of our audience, but it's also not true. care. And then, um, let's talk about me being embarrassed. Male stripper to embarrass Raina.

It's the greatest joy of my life. I have been waiting for you. The entire year I've been like, I hope she doesn't stop doing this. And every city, it is the greatest thing in the one. I never know what the theme's going to be. What I do feel embarrassed about is my dance moves. But the stripper, uh, Portland, he should have been embarrassed. Let's just, it was hysterical.

Like, it's just, I mean, again, we should. shouldn't even acknowledge us because it's so off-based and this is just someone that doesn't get us. But I don't care. And I'm putting this comment on merch because that's what we do. I put it in the bank with the I literally don't care stupid live shows. This comment emblazoned on a sweatshirt. I've had multiple men come to the shows and watch me get stripped on and then tell me how hot it was and they wanted to fuck me and they got jealous and they loved it. Yeah, I mean, it's ridiculous. It's just, it's interesting to me that people can have such a wildly different experience than other people because I've never heard any of these things. be said about a show. And again, so that's,

and that's, can't stress enough, I kind of wanted to read this to let you guys know what the shows are like also. And this, the thing that probably was actually offensive to me was the relying on email content

from your listeners. So the fact that you would criticize us for involving our audience. Like the show, it is about us, but you also hear us talk for 90 minutes every single week for the last almost five years.

And so the shows really are about the audience. And we come into the room, we figure out how to source the most crazy, wild chaos in the room and make it such a spectacle that no one will like ever forget. And we all experience it together. And that truly is the beauty of the show. Yep. And I just, for anybody that ever hates on anything that you do in the world, like that it doesn't make it true. And like that's the takeaway to me. It's like people can say whatever they want.

I know that you're not right. And that might be one person's takeaway of what you and I do. And I don't care. Yeah. And so again, we wanted to do a roast here with this comment. But at the end of the day, we also wanted to remind you guys what the shows are. And they are not a TED Talk and they are not sitting down with a guest and asking them questions. And I don't know how anyone would have thought that that was going to happen. And we do involve you guys and it's so important to us. And we put so much care and preparation and planning into these and making them just a wild time. And so much of the stuff that happens in the room is completely unplanned. And that is truly the best part of it. Yeah. And if you want to listen to an interview or watch, if you want to watch an interview, we have 250 episodes. We have six out on YouTube now.

Hit the YouTube. Please go to the YouTube and subscribe. It's really important to us. We work really hard to produce this for you guys. So we hope you love it. Please keep subscribing and tagging us in all of your really cute photos at home watching us. It just means so much. So please keep tagging us.

Just tag, tag, tag, tag. Yes. I know you guys love Azul. We're very aware. We're aware. Someone comment on YouTube all the timestamps and what Azul does. It's really funny.

People love it. I know you don't read the comments. I've been reading the comments on YouTube a little bit. And they're all really nice. They're all about Azul. All right. Well, thank you guys. Okay.

So I have a story. to tell you. And I'm glad that you brought up this guy who was like kinky in Denver. It's like the perfect segue way. So this is really an insane story. I met this guy this weekend. He came to meet me and my girlfriend on Friday night. And her and I, what do you mean he came to meet you? He came to meet. He came to meet. He's a friend of my friend. Oh, okay. Got it. So her and I were at a bar. We were going to like change locations. We're trying to pick where to go. And she's like, let me see if we can like meet up with some guys. A bunch of her guy friends were like, she's like, they seem pretty drunk. But one of them will come. He's cool. I was like,

So he comes and he walks into the bar We're at Manetta Tavern The three of us are there She kind of splits off She meets this other guy So I'm like, it's great to me You're like yes, you too We're chitch chatting

He wasn't really my type And then he told me he worked at a hedge fund And I was like definitely not my type Okay, too much money And too much hair He'd full out of hair and need money So I was like I'm not into this But then

And he said he was light haired He had blonde hair Which is so nuts First of all rich and blonde Couldn't be farther from Deer's really cute but yeah, rich and blonde, not for me. You guys know.

So we're talking, and I'm like, this is not for me. And he had said that he was pretty drunk, but he didn't seem drunk, so we keep talking. And then he mentioned a sex party that he'd gone to a couple days ago. I was like, screw, what? Okay. So I'm like, tell me every single thing about it. So he's telling me all about the sex party.

He mentioned a name of a sex party that you and I know of. So I was like, I just, I got to hear everything about this. We did this great episode about Inside the Sex Club. So I'm talking to him, and I'm like, I would love to go to something like this. This would be really fun. And I'm asking, like, who do you go with? And do you bring a friend or somebody you've slept with? And he was like, I'll go with you.

And I was like, okay, fine. And I was like, so if we go, like, does everybody get naked? Like, everyone gets butt naked. There's just tidies. Everybody's going to see my tits. And he goes, yeah, but you have like really nice tits. I've seen them. And I was like, what?

And he was like, I've seen your boobs. And I was like, what are you talking about? And I'm like searching my brain for a second. Like, my drunk brain, I'm like, what is this guy talking about? And he goes, I was at your brain. birthday. No. And I'm like, birthday.

So I've taken my boobs out at back-to-back birthday parties. We were on a boat, like a private boat. Like, people weren't wandering in and out of this boat. So he was like, yeah, I was at your birthday two summers ago in 2021. When you pulled your boob out and your business partner was there. Yes. And so I'm sitting there and like, but I just said it's nice to meet you. And you said it's nice to meet me.

And he's like, you know, just a little drunk. I don't know. And I was like, either were people there that you didn't even know? Yes. So he came now, I had like a memory unlocked. She brought him and she brought a guy and a girl and I didn't really know either of them. And I said hello and I assumed that they were in a couple. Oh.

And I just ignored him. I was with my boyfriend at the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I never, I mean, if this was my birthday and we were on a boat and I was single and there was a single guy, I would have been all about it. It was 50 of our friends and two people I didn't know. Yeah. He didn't even register to me.

He was on the boat. What? Isn't that so crazy? That is wild. He was there, and we were, like, group chatting the next morning with all of our friends. And, like, he's in, I'm to try to find the video because, like, Rob's in the video. And, like, he was like, yeah, your business partner was, like, cheering and filming. And I was like, yep, that's her.

So crazy. I have so much video from that night. I need to, like, search it now. Not I have to search it. Well, what's going on? So he tried to booty call me on. But it wasn't that late, right? No, he had said to me at, like, 10 o'clock, what are you up to?

And I was at this party, and I was like, I don't think I'm going to stay out. I was still pretty hungover. And he tried to get me to, like, go to this bar. And I said, no. I was like, well, maybe I'll let you know. And then he was like, well, I'm going to head home soon if you want to come. And then he did call me at like 12.30. And then was like, I'm on my way home if you want to come over.

I just, it's not for me. Going over to a stranger's house at 1230 at night in the city that I live in, like I know it sounds like it's not that big of a deal, but I do want to just meet somebody for a drink before I become just some nameless, faceless hole for them to come inside of, you know? And I know that we had a drink the night prior and he did ask me to come hang out. But like I just don't need sex that bad.

Then I need to go have sex with like a random stranger at 12.30 at night. Well, to me, sometimes those things are just if you're in the mood or not. You know, like catch me at the right time. You just really never know. You know, but if you're not feeling it and if you were already home, you're not getting up. Yes. So I mean, if you and I are out at a show.

Like if you're out of going to go with the guy, for sure. And if I meet a guy, like, had it been that night, it'd be Friday night, I might have considered it. Yeah. Where's he live? I don't remember. Have you kept in touch at all? We were texting a little bit on Saturday

and that he asked me to come over on Saturday night and then I didn't really say anything. Okay, I have a question for you. What do you think the etiquette is when like somebody has texted you? It wasn't agreed. It was like maybe three text messages. Like I'm getting ready to leave. I'm heading home.

I'm home if you want to come over. And then one phone call. Do you think you respond in the morning? Do you say something funny in the morning? Well, I mean, if you want to continue, like if that gave you the ick, where you're like, ah, no, I don't like love the booty call, then no. But you already met him.

First of all, he was at your birthday. You know, you already, then, you know, you've technically been out with him in the daylight. But I think all these situations are so different. Like, there's certainly a world in which, like, your ex reaches out drunkenly and you know all it was was drunk and you don't follow up the next morning unless you want to, you know, unless they said something that need to be addressed. But I don't see anything wrong with. hitting them up or responding to them next day if you wanted to see them again and be like,

sorry I missed out on, or even addressing it. Sorry I missed out. Sorry I didn't answer the booty call, but would love to get a drink sometime. And then feel it out. I think you can address it or not and just be like, or you'd be like, hey, sorry, I was out. Or if you want to just be like, hey, sorry, I was asleep, whatever you want to say. But if you're interested in seeing him again, I think you can say, would love to grab a drink sometime.

And they could very well be like, nah, I was just trying to fuck you. or they could be like, okay. Yeah. And then you'll know. Which is fine. Also, I'm flattered if somebody wants to fuck me. That's great. Yeah.

I did not say anything to me yesterday because I was kind of tired, but I probably will hit him up this week and just say something funny. Like, sorry, I slept through your booty call or something. So you haven't responded at all? I didn't. I didn't. I was just doing stuff yesterday. Went out.

I just, I'd stuff to do them. I haven't responded. It's Monday. You know? I'll do it. Okay. Yeah. I do think guys are so whack sometimes where they, like, you meet them once.

And then you never hear from them. and then three months later, they're like, hey, remember me? You're like, no. But so to me, I want to say, like, you're kind of losing that momentum, but like, probably not also. Uh-huh. Yeah, I mean, I... You know, like, they do that all the time, where they resurfaced and you're like, who? That would be funny if I waited three months and hit him up.

I suppose it's me. Yeah. And just said in the video of you pulling your tit out at your birthday. You're like, memories. I can't believe you saw this. You could also just, it's funny that you would have this line for him if you wanted to hook up where you're like, you want to see my tits again? You want to see my new tits?

I like that. Yeah, you've only seen the old pair or the old one. Trying to see these new ones. You want to see the other one and it's new? Actually, the other, do you want to see the other tit? You want to see the other tit? You want to see the other tit is perfect. Did you say when he said I've seen them? Did you correct? Say you've only seen one?

We joked about this for a long time. Okay. You've actually only seen one of them? Yeah. Oh, I love this. Hey, you're trying to see the right tit. If you guys are new here, Raina pulled out one tit at her birthday. if she unboxed just one. Just one. And then I did it this year again at my birthday. It's a birthday tradition.

So I was excited to tell you that. Of all places he was at the birthday party of us. That is so great. I know. Now I can't wait to stop recording and get on my archives to see if I can pick him out in the crowd. When he told me the sex club thing

and it was like this immediate reminder to me where I was like, oh, it can't be just writing people off just because you should go with him to the sex club. I would love to. Yeah. And we did an episode that was great with the horrible decisions girls. And he just sort of like

revalidated everything they said. He was like, you don't have to have sex. There's people that are watching. There's people that are just like, he was like, what people don't do is necessarily like go by themselves, jerk off. It's kind of weird. Well, he goes to like an exclusive, really fancy one.

Really fancy. You should go to that one with him for sure. I would love to. And he said there was like a cool sex show to get everybody in the mood. There was like performers. I was like, I'm into this. Yeah.

So I really like the idea. And I like the idea of going with somebody who, I don't know, a new person. I would think about it. If I'd had sex with him already, I would probably go. First time out of the... There's no rules.

I don't care. Yeah, I think that that could lead you into hooking up with somebody. I think if you found, if it was a person that you had not had sex with and you just were semi-interested and you were attracted to, I think you could go with them. As long as you felt like they weren't going to pressure you into anything or you just didn't feel threatened by them in any way, not that you would go out with someone you felt threatened by in the first place.

But I think that would be a good entryway into hooking up with a new person, too. That's an insane story. The first time we hooked up were you guys, we were at a sex school. I love it. We had sex with five people. Amazing meat cute. He couldn't bring up condoms enough. Really wanted me to know condoms, condoms, condoms.

I'm like, I get it. I got it. You're safe. All right. Good for him. Yeah, he was cute. So we'll keep you guys updated. What about you said?

She said I donated my condom. Wait, you donated your condoms to Goodwill. Thing. Here's the thing. I just put so much in this Goodwill box. And I don't really know what flies and what doesn't. I have a ton of like unopened beauty products like that I'm just like if they're not able to use these someone that's going through the bag could just take it home with them. I don't care.

Like I'm like I don't like to throw this stuff away. You're like I want these condoms to go to a good home. I was basically doing my bathroom because I'm like moving, you know. And so I was like cleaning out like underneath the sink and I did have these condoms from a former partner that I don't care about. I'm not using those condoms. Is he bought them for you? Brand partner. Hold on guys. Oh, sorry. Like my ex-boppy is I can't use them with a new person. If you guys were watching it to YouTube, you can see that we had a private meeting about what she was talking about.

And I don't really think that this isn't, I'm not anti-condom, but I'm saying, I just don't think I'm going to get through him, so I just threw him in the Goodwill box. And then Bella took twice, I helped her carry all this stuff out to the car, and she took myself to Goodwill.

And I was like, if you want these, she was like, I'm good. Bella's like, I retired condoms a while ago. I have a boyfriend. I'm like, you girls. That is so funny. I don't, now I'm just like, was that wrong to do? I'm just like, who couldn't you? I don't want to throw them out.

I mean, I'm sure they get crazier stuff than that in the Goodwill bag. You should toss in like a vibes only vibrator. Somebody's unpacking it and they get like a nice little treat. All right, you don't want to do it. No. Those are, why? We sell those. It's like a nice little surprise.

I don't think that they sell vibrators at Goodwill. But condoms do you think they do sell? My whole thing is just like, just throw it in and someone could be like, you know, like when they take stuff from you at TSA. Like, don't the TSA people like, they're like, I'll take that. That is so funny. I think it's just like a nice little. treat. I don't think they could sell them, but maybe like put them on the shelf.

Okay. All right, guys, we have a great guest for you today. She is a best selling author of the book, Use Your Planets Wisely, a renowned psychological astrologer and social and emotional education trainer. She has spent over 30 years consulting clients and businesses worldwide on psychological, spiritual, and educational topics. She is a regular contributor to Goop, as well as having been interviewed for her expertise by the New York Times Wall Street Journal USA Today and Vogue. Her new book, A Map to Your Soul, using the astrology of fire, earth, air, and water to live deeply and fully is out now.

Please welcome to the show, Jennifer Freed. I'm so excited to be here in my hometown, NYC, with two gorgeous women that are killing it. Thank you so much. Yeah, we're just going to talk about us for the next hour. You just came in hot with some predictions. And so I'm getting engaged next year. Just so exciting.

I love you loop me into that by asking me how I feel about that. And when we do the intros for other people, they don't usually pitch it back to us and start talking about us. So we love that. Well, my entire life and purpose is to highlight other people's strengths and gifts and encourage them to bring them out. So anything I can do to keep making your ship rise, I'm all for it. We'll get back to it.

But tell us a little bit about you and how you ended up where you are now and got into all of this. Let's highlight you. super briefly, born in New York City, and nobody I knew was into astrology. I was always interested. At 18 and a half, I had a mind-blowing astrology reading. At the same time, I was falling in love with a guy in Santa Barbara and studying psychology. Flash forward, it's 40 years of seeing thousands of clients in astrology and psychology, and now they're very married for me, and I only do coaching using both. So let's break it down. What is psychology and what is astrology? psychology is alleviating suffering, helping people recover from trauma, building their resources,

connecting them to other people in a healthy way. Astrology is the birth chart shows you your cosmic DNA, your life lesson plans, what you're here to learn and how you want to grow, and what are your divine possibilities? So I'm able to do both, which is awesome, and I love what I do, and here I am. That is so exciting. Are there a lot of psychologists, astrologers out there? There are a lot of people that say they do what I do, but please check the pedigree. I actually have a PhD in psychology.

I'm actually a licensed therapist, and then I've studied astrology. So I would say how many people are actually doing that? Probably dozens, but not thousands. Okay. And I spent the weekend reading your book and something I really enjoyed about the way you describe psychological astrology is, I think sometimes when I hear like, I'm a Gemini, people are like, well, I'm a Gemini, so I'm just like this, but you really bring in the idea that you have agency in your own actions and that there's so much more than make up your DNA.

And we'll talk about Earth, Air, Fire, and Water today. But you really take these small ideas and make them bigger and apply them in a psychological way, which I think is so interesting. Yes, I think that if you think about it, we're in a divine partnership. We're co-creating. So when you say you're a double Gemini, by the way, sun and moon, if somebody were to just reduce you to that stereotype, they would be limiting your horizons. What I like to do is say, okay, double Gemini, you can live at a very primitive level of that or you can evolve that and be a master communicator. Well, you're certainly on your way to that. So I think we have to take responsibility for upgrading our software whenever we can. we human beings really have downloaded a lot of crap that we can erase, delete, or improve.

And I think that's what my book is about, like use all your possibilities and become more of a contribution to your communities. Okay. Well, let's talk about the four elements and what they mean. And I enjoyed how you spoke about how these things can definitely all exist within a person and interplay in different ways. So let's talk about what the elements are. So number one, we all have all four.

elements. In a birth chart, everyone has these four elements. They're just distributed differently and specifically for each person. Fire is that illuminating, intense, passionate, engaged, bold pioneering. Earth is stable, calm, quiet, consistent. You two don't have much of that. And then air is breathtaking, inspiring, visionary, talkative, communicative, you have a lot of that. Then water is the feeling, the soft, the melting, the merging, the compassionate, the forgiving, the merciful. You have a lot of that. All of that. You have all of that. She pointed at Ashley. I wouldn't say, I don't think anyone would absolutely describe me that way, but I'm saying I have all of that in that I'm a cancer, sun, cancer moon, scorpier rising, all three water signs.

And even more cancer than that in your chart with Mercury and Mars. Yes. So we all have four elements, but my whole book is about bring in all four, even though you lean heavily into one or the other, to live a fully expressed and joyful life. You actually want to tap into all the elements. And so that is what the book is about. It covers 12 areas of life. And those 12 areas pretty much encompass the human experience. So I wanted people to have a really practical way to upgrade and uplift themselves and others.

Okay. So how do you incorporate all these? All those things are so great. I mean, of course, you want to be emotional and also inspiring and all the things that you just mentioned. So how do you tap into all of those? Well, like your show does, everything is about raising awareness. So once you actually pay attention every morning to the fact that there's these four elements, and you can do it like a checklist.

Have I covered them all getting ready for this show today? And one of the ones people forget the most is the grounding and stabilizing. Like what are people doing for their earth? You know, we don't all live in a garden or paradise. Some people live in a very busy, noisy city. But how do you ground and stabilize before you start your day? How do you get inspired? That's the air part.

How do you express genuine, transparent, vulnerable feeling? That's the water part. And how do you get really bold and sassy? That's the fire part. So it's like get aware and then make a choice. It's all about choosing. Okay. Can we run through the astrological signs by which category they fall into? Yes. Good question. Aries, Leo Saj, fire signs. Okay. Earth signs, Taurus, Capricorn Virgo. Air signs, Aquarius Libra, Gemini. Water signs. Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces. Okay. Okay. As well as a Pisces.

My dog. Allegedly. No one really knows. Which one is Pisces? Which element? Water. Water. Water. I'm all water everything. And are there certain people that were attracted to because of this? Yes. Yes.

So there is a myth that certain signs get along better with other signs. That's crap. But what is true is this. Elementally, if you lean heavily into air, you're going to be attractive. to people that have good earth because you want that stability and you don't always have it. So I think the elements are way better predictors of who's going to actually be good for who. Because we tend not to pick our own strong elements because it's too combustible. For you, for example, you are really heavy in water. Like percentage wise, you're on the top 90% water.

you're not going to go hang out with somebody that's triple water. You would, all you do is drown. She pointed at Ashley, for those of you who are listening. Yeah, Ashley. Yeah, so you're not drawn to your strong element. I mean, as a friend, you might like mirror and match each other. Uh-huh. But to really grow, you're going to be drawn to, like, who you're drawn to as your work partner,

this massive air, you know, like, you've got a windmill here. And so you're drawn to the thing that you're not because you want to know it, you want to feel it, you want to assimilate it. So that's much more predictable of who's compatible. It's going to be otherness. You know, who's other than you, elementally? Okay.

So I want to unpack a little more why you think this like, a Gemini is attracted to an area, why it's crap. Because we ask people, what questions do you have for an astrologer? Overwhelmingly, people want to know. What sign am I most compatible with? Sexually, friendship walk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll tell you why it's crap.

So why do you think it's crap? The sun sign is what everyone's talking about. You're born on a certain day. That's your sun sign. Yes, I want to get into this too. Okay. Some people don't even know where sun moon and rising means. So a sun sign is like saying, I know you because I've seen your hair color.

It's just one part of you. The body of the astrology chart contains 10 different planets in different signs, in different arrangements. it's like a whole mobile of psychic possibility and emotional possibility, and only one part of that is the sun sign. So if I say to you, oh, I'm an Aquarius and you're a Gemini, so we should get along. We're both air signs.

But your moon is what's called afflicting my moon or square my moon. We won't get along. So that's not going to be a good predictor, just the sun sign. Okay, so just getting a little deeper is what's important. Get deeper, is the whole point of your show. Go deeper. So if you were to wrap up in a neat little package, like what sun, moon and rising mean, like sun is this like front facing what you see and moon is who you are at your core?

I mean, you tell me. Yeah, I'm going to. Okay. Okay. Is your basic identity who you identify with. I am this. Okay. I am cancer.

I am a nurturer. I am Gemini. I'm a communicator. That's your basic identity. The moon is your non-negotiable emotional needs. The moon is super important to delve into because that's the one where if you don't meet this part of me,

we're not really going to be cool. So it's the emotional inside you. The rising sign is your social persona, who you show up to be in the world like when people first meet you. It's the role you were given in your family that you either like improved upon or stay stuck in.

This tracks a little bit more with the Scorpio. Yeah, Scorpio. Yeah. Hide out, baby. Don't show your cards. Because I just feel like there's even been more awareness brought to this in recent years. I mean, I feel like we grew up and we didn't know what a moon sign was or a rising sign. So we were just like, yeah, I'm this.

Yes. And, you know, because I'm older and I've been at this a long time. When I was first doing this, very, very much like my astrology chart, I was the only one I knew doing this. I was like everyone thought I was a quack and what's wrong with you and like all this stuff. Now you can't look on a page without seeing an astrology ad or app it's so mainstream now. There's that joke that if a guy calls his mom and asks what time he was born, but it means like there's a woman trying to figure out what your whole makeup is.

That is very real. People are doing it all the time. And they're always asking me, is he good for me? Is she good for me? Like, wow. Well, I want to do one more like qualifier. before we apply this to real life. And one of the things you talk about in the book is how, like,

you can show up in different domains of your life. And I would love to talk about domains, but how you show up as different signs more aggressively in different domains. So one example you gave really reminded me, Ashley. So somebody is really fiery at work, but really grounded in their routine in terms of like what they eat and how they work out. And so how do we show up so differently in different domains of our lives?

That's a great question. Again, there are 12 houses in your chart that I base the 12 domains on. And depending how your charts arranged, you can have one part of your chart very fiery, one domain, like work, but another part of your chart could be very, very calm. And so it's like you've got a map to your soul when you look at your astrology chart, which is the name of my book. And you all know this, and I know your audience is going to go, duh, we're not always the same people. We have so many parts to ourselves.

and the chart reveals all those different parts and how they're in interplay. So it's fascinating. And in my book, you could show up in your persona as really, you are very dynamic and conversational and live and witty, but then I know that there's a part of you based on your rising and some other things that when you get home you could be very introverted

and want really a lot of space and don't bother me and don't talk to me. This is the most amazing. Yeah. Ashley always says that something that would really surprise people about me is that I don't really like to go out that much and I am a little more introverted like in my home and things. But I am in the world more outgoing. And so we all have different parts. And to really love somebody is to not only accept their parts, but celebrate them and really give them room to shine in all those diversities. The diversity within a human being is unlimited. Okay. Do you want to talk about the sex and intimacy domain first? I love sex. Let's talk about it. I love to have sex in water. Yeah.

No, she really does. It's really crazy. She cannot have enough sex in bodies of water. Showers, bathtubs, hot tubs. Okay, well, I do want to know what's your most daring, risky place you've had sex in water. Like, I do want to know that. I know. In the, well, it was in the same day.

It was in a lake and an ocean. And the lake had like a no trespassing sign. We got chased out. And then we go to the ocean. And then my mom came up on the ocean and she was like yelling out to me because it was on a family vacation trip. Listen, it was a lot going on. It was the week that my brother turned 21 and I just treated it like I was turning 21. But I met this guy at a bar. We ended up in the lake in Dewey Beach where I'm like basically from. And then we got chased out of the lake and we went to the ocean. And then my mom basically showed up on the shore and was like, Ashley, we're going to dinner. And meanwhile, like fucking this guy in the water. And your mother saw you? And she's like, I mean, she could see my head bobby.

She's very chill. She's, yeah. But it was a funny moment. So we got lakes, oceans, hot tub, showers. Hot tubs, I don't recommend it. I'll start in the hot tub. So this guy that I slept with this summer, we started making out in the hot tub and hooking up with the hot tub. And then we moved it.

We did go to the shower and the bed. I mean, but I'm big on the shower. The showers. How about pools? Pools the same as a hot tub. It's fun just for four. to start out being intimate in the pool or the hot tub, but then that's not really where I want to be penetrated.

Good to know. Raina. What about you? What do I like to be penetrated? Pretty much everywhere besides the water. Yeah. In the air, lift you up. I like to be like daring. I think having sex in like a bathroom at a restaurant is like really hot.

Like you just get up and go up and fuck and I think that's really hot. I mean, I'll fucking a bed. But like my couch, I think like if you can get caught, I think that's really sexy. So you're into forbidden sex. A bit. It turns me on. When I will like masturbate about it, I think about it. I like the idea of somebody just like walking in my front door and just like pushing me up

against a wall. I like the idea of like standing sex. Yeah. Countertop sex. A lot of, yeah. So you're more acrobatic. I'm very, yeah, I can bend. I'm very flexible.

Very bendy. And little. I'm five feet tall so you can pick me up easily. Okay. Well, I hope you all love that. Okay. So let me talk about the book and sex. So in the sex chapter, this is just one part of it.

but it's an assessment called getting it on. And it goes through the elements, so I'm going to read them fast and briefly. But everybody listen to this and think about which of these applies to you, because this is the other part about sex. There's so much falseness around the idea that we should all know exactly what somebody else likes. You know, this is not true.

So here are the ways we like to do things and see what you all relate to. Fire. I like to initiate. I like to dominate. I like to be spontaneous. I like to use toys. Vibes only is the toys we like. Okay. I like to wear costumes. I like to do it vigorously. I like quickies. I like to do it adventuously. Earth, I like to go slowly. I like to linger. I like to be touched everywhere. I like a gorgeous setting for making love. I like to plan for it. I like it certain ways at certain times. I like lots of holding and cuddling before

and after. Air, I like to discuss it. I like sex talk. I get aroused by my partner's mind. I like to get kinky. I like to break rules. I like to make sure you get off. I like erotica. And finally water. That's wild. Rana only cares about getting someone else off. Like we could not be more opposite. Sexting, dirty talk. It's like I masturbate to my own dirty talk. Sometimes I just talk to myself while I'm masturbating. But you really care about it. the other person. This is this whole thing. Yeah.

Okay. Here's water. I like to feel you with me. I like to express my feelings to you. I like to feel deeply connected. I like to look into your soul. I like us to feel merged. I like to cry during and after.

I like to feel very emotionally safe. Okay, you guys are cracking up. Don't make fun of the water. No. I am. I'm not crying. I mean, Ashley will tell you her dirty. talk is like telling her their comedy's funny and then she looks pretty. But I'm not like gazing into

someone's soul and crying. So you show up as different elements in the bedroom than maybe what you identify as like in the world. Yeah. But that's why this is interesting because like we all have said, in different areas we show up different ways. For you, this water is not your turn on. And you're very clear. You're fire and air. Let's do the adventure, the kinky, let's break out, uh, talk a lot about it. But it's great to talk to a potential partner about this and have them do the inventory and like save a lot of misunderstandings. Well, I mean, I did relate to it in terms of like the really wanting to feel super close and super connected. And like I love that. You just feel like your bodies are one as corny as that sounds.

Like I'm really, really into that. That's not corny. That's noble and beautiful. Don't put that down. We were talking about like the slow kissing a couple weeks ago. Like I do resonate with some of that. You just lost me at the crying. But hey, you know, I like to cry a lot of other times outside of the bedroom.

Okay, here's a question for Scorpio Rising. Ready? Do you let yourself cry, sobbing cry with another person or by yourself? Just a few people have seen me uncontrollable cry. So where is your crying place? Where do you cry? Where would I be? I mean, I guess I'm like on the couch. Living room, yeah.

Couch, like I'm just thinking of when my dog passed. Like I was just, I felt like a cry. I mean, I'll sit on the floor and. cry. I just feel, I don't uncontrollably cry a lot. Well, because the reason I'm saying is Scorpio Rising is pretty private. If you're going to be very emotional, it's not like you're going to go toward other people. Totally. More towards yourself. And so I find it fascinating and a very underrated topic.

Where do women cry? And where do they feel okay crying? I love that. This sounds funny, but do people say, like, I prefer to be outside? Like, is there anybody that says, like, yeah. Yeah, totally. There are people that say I prefer to cry outside. Yes. I want to.

What draws somebody to cry in the outdoors as opposed to? The air, nature, air and earth. They feel comforted by the largesse of like I know people that go cry in the ocean. Yes. Okay. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Okay.

Now I get the question. I was wondering. I'm definitely more of a private cry. Yes. Scorpio rising. Yeah. But I think, you know, to get to living a fully expressed life, part of what we have to do is fully express all our feelings and find ways and outlets for

all the feelings that feel right to us and not compared to anyone else. So you've got to figure out where can I be super angry. Women need to be angry to be assertive. They've got to feel that. Super sad, super scared, super joyful. Like, who do you get to be your most celebratory joyful self with? I'm asking Raina? Like when you're super happy and super proud, and accomplished and like, who do you tell? I probably tell my dad first and my friends second. See, and what is your dad's response? Because why do you go to your dad?

He minds a lot of questions. He wants to know every reason that this happened, that what was the road there? He's so excited. He's so proud, and that's who raised me, so I want him to be really proud of me. But he asks a lot of questions. It's not just like, well, that's great, you know?

I feel that he's really interested in the success, and I love when people ask me a lot of questions. So that is one of the best, representations of very healthy air. So I want to bring back the elements. Curiosity, deep listening follow-up questions. That's great air. So your dad, which not every parent does this,

can listen, follow through, follow up, and actually track. We love your dad. Yeah, he's really wonderful. And then my friend's second. But yeah, that's my person. Who do you go to? What I'm celebrating? Yeah, when you're at the top of your game,

because not everybody can celebrate with you. That's why I'm asking you. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my family as well, I guess Raina, a lot of our successes together. But yeah, my family. I mean, my family, we just, we have the family group chat. My mom, my dad, my brother. We just gas each other up. And it's great. And then my, like, best closest friends. Okay, that is the best sun, moon, and cancer I've ever heard. My family, my family, they gas me up. They love me. They track me. Like, you are so lucky. I want to just say, and I really mean this, very few people can give that answer. I'm aware. Yeah. That's really a treasure.

Yeah, I feel grateful every day. But yeah, like my brother had this thing happen yesterday with his business and he sent the family group chat and we're, you know, it's on the same day that we like announced our tour. And so it's just nice. But I love that question. Like, who do you celebrate with? Yeah. And I think that your whole family is really celebratory of you, which is really nice.

I mean, I feel like they've like accepted me and I celebrate with them too. When Ashley and I have a big success, her parents always text it as her brother. So it's nice to have that. So your family to each other too. That's so beautiful. Yes. So one thing that you wrote in this chapter, and I'm not going to say it as eloquently as you did, but you said something like people see a lot of depictions of sex and sexuality in media

or on television especially, and they feel that they are left out of the conversation. Because you do see a lot of times where like the man walks in the room and he shoves her against the wall and one thrust he's inside of her and everyone's having these mind-blowing orgasms. and I think a lot of people can look at that, like you said, and feel really left out of that conversation and feel like that's not my experience. Yes, I've done a lot of quizzing of all my friends. Very rarely can a man lift a woman up and give her an orgasm two minutes.

I can't imagine. This is what you see all the time by male-made movies. All the time. Wait, I love this one too, and you see it all the time. Walks in the room, throws her on the kitchen table, hard as nails, and she loves it. Like, come on. That is not for most people.

I can't be a part of the sex if my butt is glued to a kitchen countertop. Yes. And then I talk to a lot of men about this too. Very few men are in that good of shape. So they feel super inadequate and intimidated. Like I've got to lift her up, twirl her, throw her. Like, no, that's not their game either. And then women, mostly women, even you who's so adventurous, want some lubrication,

some kind of like foreplay and like, sensitivity. And so I write about in this book, no, let's all talk about the subtle sexual field, the sexual foreplay that happens in conversation, that happens in the way we text. There's so many buildups to great sex. It's not just the act. So that's what I was talking about in the book. Yeah. Okay. So how do you tap into these different elements and bring them into the bedroom if you feel like I'm lacking one of these things? I see this on television. I want to be more like that. Or maybe I don't care to be more like that. Yeah, because I really, when you were reading through all of the elements when it comes to sex, I think obviously the point is that you, one of those resonates with you primarily, but there's also like secondarily. I mean, I feel like it's the same thing as the love languages. It's like, yeah, we all do them all or we all want them all and they just kind of are ranked in order essentially. You have like a predominant one. So, you know, I think that we all want to have this fulfilling sex life that has the closeness of the water and it has the fiery and, and you know, you want to. want to get a little kink here and there. And then you also want to feel like stable and ground

in the bedroom too. So I don't think anyone is going to be like, I'm all fire all the time. It's costumes and toys and, you know, like forever. So how do you bring them all together? Well, number one, discuss with your partner, your sex partner, before you're in the bedroom or in the act. Because no one wants to be criticized and most people feel defensive in the moment. So it's like go to dinner and do these inventories in my book. book, it will be the most revealing conversation because you're actually going to learn if you listen, like, well, actually, I would like to try more of this, or tonight I'd like this. So, number one, my friend Emily Moore, sex with Emily, you two know her, we all love her.

The entire point of her show is communicate. It's not going to harm you. Sex is not supposed to be the shrouded mystery that you just all know automatically. It should be so normal, natural, real that just like I said to you, I want this coffee with this kind of milk, you should be able to say at dinner or, you know, taking a walk, wow, this is the kind of sex I'd be really into with you. We haven't tried that or I'd like to. And then it's open and everyone can mix it up. Okay. And you have checklists for, I like that you broke it down into how you'd like to touch yourself, how you like to think about sex and then with a partner as well. So it's

both. Yeah, it's everything. And I really think the other part about our sex lives is they change all the time. We're not fixed sexual objects. So what you liked last week, the lake, the ocean, could change very suddenly into mountain tops. You know, we don't know. Probably not, but yeah. Camping sex. You don't know. You don't know. What I'm saying is we have really reduced sexuality to these kind of stereotypic fantasy scenes when the human possibility for sexual variety is endless. Why stop at one thing you've done? Yeah. So to me, some of this is very partner-specific. I have different partners that bring out different things in me. I might want something really kinky and wild with a one-night stand, but with somebody that I really care about, I want something more serious and loving and slow. So do you feel like if you are not sexually compatible, if one person's like all fire and one's all-air, do you think it can work out? Not ultimately.

Okay. If somebody's committed to all fire, like I want it fast and I want to do it and be bold and like throw you a and let's say the other person's heavy water, I want feeling, I want connection, I want merging. If they're stuck in those silos, no, it's not going to work out. Again, anyone can work anything out if everyone's up for the growth. Here's what I want to say about dating because you're both single. Look for the healthiest person in the room. Don't be looking for like a type. Look for who actually gets me, listens to me, wants me, celebrates me, and can be there for me in a hard time. Yesterday I talked to this woman. She fell madly in love with this younger guy. They were having

the hottest sex ever. She felt more alive than she's ever felt in her life. Then her mother suddenly died and he's like, you're a buzzkill. But that's why I like look for the healthiest person in the room. I love that advice. Yeah, healthy means this. Yes, I personally think healthy means physically fit. Like they take great care of their body. Start there because you can see that. But the healthy is they know how to deal with feelings and they know how to listen and they are tracking for their own joy. They're not looking to siphon off of you, their joy. So something you brought to me on the phone before this is, you know, but why do we pick those other people? Even if we know it's not the healthiest thing for us, it might sound like a, you know, duh kind of question. It isn't a duh question because when I was

younger, I made a lot of bad choices. We all do at times. We pick unconsciously our mother or our father type in the beginning, or the parent figure, if it's not your bio mom or dad. So we're raised between zero and six to attach to these primary figures. Whatever's unresolved or unworked out with those figures, we then unconsciously seek in our first partners because we're trying to repair that original relationship. So you can just know that what we're calling sexual chemistry is often mommy or daddy chemistry. I know you guys look shocked but it's true

No, no, no, it's just like You don't want to think too deeply about it Well, right, don't think too deeply about it but be aware that what we're calling this like oh, I fell in love at first sight is like, oh, unconscious mommy daddy stuff on the way Yeah, it's intense or brother or sister whatever our primary like training was in attachment

that's what we're originally seeking Now as you get older, do your personal growth work which you're both into. You don't really keep picking the same type. You look for the healthiest person in the room. Like, who actually cares about me? Right. Big question. Yeah. Right. Who, what a hot take. Who cares about me? I mean, but that's what I, my joke is not joke. Actually, it's my life mantra. It's like, I don't like someone that doesn't like me. I don't, it's not attractive to me. It's, I want someone that's into me too. That's what turns me on. I don't want to chase somebody or have someone that's avoiding me back or texting me back. No games. No games. No games. It's attractive to me

that you're into me and vice versa, obviously. Yes, life is too short and out of millions of choices of humans, why would you pick somebody that is in a thousand percent your biggest fan? So you're two powerful women and I think you are going to get engaged next year. That's my prediction. To each other. She said that earlier and I was like, no. Not to each other? I heard that earlier. She said next year you two are going to get engaged. And I was like, God damn it.

Not to each other. No, I see the solid hetero thing in both of you. So here's the thing. When you're going to get engaged, you need an incredibly confident, stable, earthy type guy that has a lot of capacity to hold feeling. And I think you're going to find that.

She's talking to me, you guys, if you're just listening. Thank you so much. I hope so too. I want you to do me and tell me what to find, but I have a question for Ashley. Because when I have dated, there are a couple people that, like, they remind me so much of my mom. It's, like, uncanny. Like, I have picked people, like, that are so similar to her. They're not the people that I've fallen the most deeply in love with. The people I've fallen the most deeply in love with, I really do see a lot of qualities in my father. So do you feel like the people you've picked in the past are more like one of your parents?

I've been sitting here thinking about this. And I don't really know the answer. I would assume they're just kind of a mix of the both. I mean, my dad is this, like, I don't know, I mean, he's just this is the best guy in the world. He's really stable. He's got all these interests and hobbies. So when I meet a guy that reminds me of my dad in that, like, he has a motorcycle and he, you know, does these things. And he's like has all the, like, my dad is so dynamic, I guess. He's like a pilot. He has all these cars. He ran his own business forever. He can fix anything. He's like a manly man. So that's what I'm. We all want to marry your dad, just saying.

I do too. I mean, people are very into my dad. Yeah. I mean, and then I'll tell you that, you know, this hits a little different to people who have not had this experience and I want to recognize that. My dad's like, never let me down. He's never not shown up. You know, he thinks the world of me. He's so proud of me.

So the bar is high. I think too high. I think it's too high. That's my daddy issue is like your dad's never, my dad's never let me down once. How can compete with that? So, yeah, I do see it. but my brother will tell you that he found someone like our mom. Yeah.

You know, like he's stuff that, and not in a creepy way, but even the way that his wife reacts is like our mom. Like it's very apparent. Uh-huh. Yeah. We're very primitive in our attachment range, honestly. I was curious what you would say. But I want to say to you about your dad, though.

I want to say something about your dad because one of our daughters also is so attached to one parent that it's been very hard for her to pick somebody. because that parent is so idealized. You have an idealized father. So here's what I want to say to you. Look for somebody father adjacent. Like not your father because he sounds out of this world magnificent, impossible to compare to.

But somebody that has the basic nature of your father but isn't like superhuman like your dad. Yeah. And I will tell you this. So I wouldn't consider myself like a daddy's girl. Like Raina is more close with her dad. I'm close with my dad, but we don't have this like. best friend. I don't know how to describe it.

Well, your parents are married, so I've always felt like my parents were forced to have independent relationships with me if they wanted to see me. Your dad is, of course, always included in everything. And I find this with a lot of my girlfriends that have married parents of their whole lives that they don't have like an independent relationship with their dad where they do all stuff along. Right, right, right. But I had to because my parents separated when I was four.

Like my dad and I were totally cool. We're tight. We're very similar. But I'm like not besties with him. Like my mom and are like best friends. You know, like it's always kind of been like I'm like really back type of close with my mom. And then my dad's just like my awesome perfect dad that's set the bar high. So that's not what you think about this.

The people I've been really deeply in love with who I was engaged to, my last boyfriend, really emotional, asked a lot of questions, really like deep sensitive people. They're like my dad. But my dad was not the primary parent. I would never gone to my dad because I needed something if I need something to be taken care of. My mom was the primary parent, right? My mom, so the people I've dated in between those people, less feelings. much more stable, they've just fucking got it.

With like the job, the trips, their homes, they just got it. Somebody like, who's like an attorney who makes a lot of money, who doesn't really have a lot of like feelings, but he was really like stable. Well, now you want to integrate. Sure. You want, but yeah. You really want the best if you can get the very best of your family traits in a person. For sure, because I wouldn't say my dad is like the best communicator in the world.

I don't think he's like so on that type of level. And that's important to me too. So I'm trying to find my mom, my mom's side on that. Yeah, I think we're putting out a casting call here for these two women. We want feelings, we want dynamism, we want stability, and more than anything else when you've got two powerhouse women in the room, which you both are, I admire you so much. You need a guy that is not threatened by female power. You need a guy that's like, you're the queens, I bow before you, but I've got my own thing going on, so no worries here. Yeah, that'll be great.

If someone's listening, they're like, well, both my parents are terrible people and they suck or, you know. You know, where do I go now? That is a fabulous question. First of all, go to therapy. Okay. Like I am a therapist. Where do I go to therapy? Go to therapy.

Because here's the thing. Until you really face whatever it is that you need to face, you can't make new choices. So if you've got trauma, this is my background as a trauma therapist. You can undo the trauma. That's the good news. But you can't just bury it and just think I'm going to white knuckle it and pick different because unconsciously you'll pick those assholes. So you've got to go to therapy, you've got to get the trauma help.

You've got to have supportive friends. Like I have friends that say, I won't date this person unless my community vets them first because I don't trust my picker. So I actually do think if you come from a lot of trauma, don't trust your first choice. Interesting. You know?

Like really think again and always ask the question, how are they demonstrating that they care about me? Because we're all fools when it comes to seduction. like anyone can fool us. But what really matters is how do they consistently demonstrate care for me? And here's another huge piece

that I always tell everyone. Notice how they treat their family and friends. Like don't go on 10 private dates with them and think you know them. Hang out with their friends. Know who their exes are. Like you've got to do a lot of due diligence to pick the person you're going to give your whole self to.

I love that. Raina speaks on that a lot of how important it is and how those red flags come up when they're like, I hate my brother and sister. I don't have any friends. I don't have any family. And sometimes I will speak to friends or even when listeners of ours will express

the issues that they're having. And I know that I would have picked up on some of these red flags way before. And that's just also just being older, years of learning about these things. When someone doesn't have those close connections, why would you assume that they would have that with you? Well, so much of our attraction to other people comes from our deepest unmet needs.

And you come from basically a balanced family. But if somebody doesn't, they're so needy and desperate until they've done the work that they will literally not see all those signs because they're getting fed something that they can't live without. And it's really hard to be just so filled with sexual. attraction or, you know, compliments that it's like, no, don't, don't let me see the bad stuff because this stuff is so good. It's like heroin, you know? That's so true. And then, of course, I want to recognize that that people come from different backgrounds. But then like you said, it's almost like,

well, find your healthiest friend in the room and ask them what they think. And I like that you could be a person that is like, I'm still doing the work. My picker is off. Let me ask the people around me that may be able to see that this person isn't suited for me. Yeah. And I think don't be hard on ourselves. Like, you know, I had a difficult upbringing and I had some very weird attractions to inappropriate people. And okay, so then you can recover from that and make a great pick later on like I did. So I'm a very optimistic person and I think if people realize that when you're in pain and you've had repetitive bad experiences and relationships, that's not a forecast of the future if you get help.

Okay. So you said something on the phone to me and I want to connect it exactly with that Ashley said because Ashley was saying, you know, I would have heard these things in the first couple dates. I would have listened to you and I would have heard these things and made an informed decision about it. And something you said is that so many people in the first couple of dates,

they don't listen and that you're maybe trying to sell yourself so much that you're not listening. So why are some people unable to hear these cues and walk away and how can we be better? Well, there is, and it's science people, a cocktail of hormones that happens when you're in your first throes of sexual chemistry that literally cuts off the thinking brain.

It literally makes your logic brain go dead. Okay. So you're in your only reactive, reptilian, hungry, lustful brain, and you're not thinking clearly. And that's why people in those first months of relationship can be so blinded because it's pheromonal,

Like they're going, oh, give it, give it, give it, give it. And no, what? I never saw that. And meanwhile, the friend's going, are you kidding? Right. And I mean, we've all been there. I think even as stable and as healthy and as a balance to families you could have had,

we all can fall victim to the sexual chemistry. That chemistry is like, if anyone could market that drug, they would run the country, they'd run the world. And then there's a part of you that's like, I know this person's bad for me and I don't care. Yeah. Well, especially, Raina would like that. The orgasms.

Rain is like the better, the better the orgasm. Let's go, people. I do really love a really deep emotional connection. But yeah, I would say in my last relationship, we had so much sex, it was outrageous. And I probably didn't stop to think, what does this look like long term necessarily.

Yeah, that's a, I wouldn't say it's a problem. No, not a problem. As long as you're clear as empowered female, that having tons of great sex is part of your journey, it's not your destination. But God bless you that you had it. So can we talk about Raina's predictions for? Yes, Raina.

Raina is one of the most exciting dynamic people on the planet, and she too could have a very stable partner, but you're going to have to really ask your friends to do a values clarification for you, because you occur as somebody that likes freedom right now more than attachment. If you want to stable long-term relationship, you all know this, but here it is. You actually have to be willing to accommodate a whole other human being and all their needs in your life. Do you think that's hard for me?

At this moment, I think it would be hard for you because you're like a horse running in the stables, wild, and doing so much work. But I think if you talk to your bestie and your friends and just say, I can see my life with another person in it and describe it exactly. Like detail after detail. This is how it works. This is how much time we spend together. This is how he treats me. And you get an incredible tableau that you can feel and live into and know you can do.

I think you two could get engaged by the end of 2023. I don't even, just to be clear, I don't care about engagement, marriage, but a partner would be nice. We'll see. Someone could convince me, I guess, but Engage does not like this mark I want to hit, this goal that I have, but a partner is long-term intimacy. Okay, I just really like the rings of engagement. Like the diamonds? I just like really beautiful jewelers. Somebody gives you. Well, I always say a joke about that too. I don't want like a traditional. I just want like a ruby from my first stone. Yeah, so let's just reframe right now what I mean by engagement. Yeah. I've been engaged to my partner for 26 years. We're not married.

Okay. There we go. See, I like courtship. Courtship to me is the sexiest thing in the world. And I don't want to end it with some kind of formal, and now you're mine and I'm yours. I prefer to court the person my whole life. So can you go with that? That's what I want. Yeah, never stop dating.

Never live together, never stop dating. I mean, I love what you said about actually taking inventory, whether it's writing it down or not, of how this actually looks. So you at least have a starting point. I had a guy friend of mine. We were discussing my love life. And he was like, let's make a list of what you're looking for in your phone, do it right now.

And I was like, what? We were like at dinner. And we did it. And in my head, you know, you want to say like, yeah, but someone's not going to fit this list, right? Here, yes, of course, there's all the things I want. But realistically, that someone's not going to come and check every box. And his point, and I think he pulled this from his therapist, was just like, at least you have a starting point of what so you know what you're looking for. When I think about a partner, they don't even need to live in the same city as me.

Like, I want them to have a similar life as me. I want them to really value their freedom and be busy and we see each other when we can. And I don't want someone that's going to be super needy and vice versa. So it is, I think, a matter of like, how does this person fit into my life? Because Raina had a partner and he moved in too quick and obviously it was the wrong person for her, but he was all up in our space. And I was like, I see this any badly. I don't think you're going to want him in your space.

So I think it is a matter of you actually thinking of what does this look like? Because you say that all the time. We both do. We're like, how can we fit someone in to this? life. Like we said it last week joking on our episode. Like how would someone even fit in? Where's the time? Where's the energy to accommodate another person? So I'm going to promise you both because you are super attractive, powerful, successful and you're just getting started. You actually should sit with each other and maybe two other friends that are calmer and do an actual visual, physical

description of your life with a partner. Like we get up, we do this or we talk like this. We you've taken trips here. Say the whole thing out. Because even saying just qualities is not going to do it for you too. Because you are people at this point in your life that are full. You're already both full. So you've got to think, how does this fullness match somebody else's fullness? And what does it look like operationally on the day to day? Then you'll find them. So I have a question for you. Sure. Because I always say this quote, it may not look like what you think it's going to look like. And that was really helpful to me with the serious relationship I had where you have all these things in your head of like, I need this type of guy and I need this type of life. And so how do you reconcile those two if it doesn't look like you thought it was going to look like?

Because obviously we're not going to come up with this quote unquote dream scenario and someone's actually going to make the dream come true. Okay. First of all, yes, you can. Okay. I've seen it. I have it. Okay. Okay. Number one. So don't throw that out. Okay. And number two, this is how you know it's your purpose.

person, you don't want to change a thing about them. Your partner is sitting in the room with us. I want to acknowledge that. But I do want to say, like I say this all the time, I know I hit the lottery. I got everything I wanted and some things even better. And of course, you don't always anticipate other things. But the best way you know you're with your person, you don't want to change a thing about them and they don't want to change you.

And most people are so in the business of fixing people to be their people. It's like, no, no one wants to be fixed. No one. So you could have your ideal scenario, blah, blah, blah, and then you meet a guy and you just go, I'm in my own skin. Like for the first time in my life, it all feels like swimming in water without a bathing suit. Ashley's turned on. I'm like, that's how I know. It feels like skinny dipping. He's the one. I want to just acknowledge how, like, eye-opening it is for me to actually see somebody formulate this in like time and logistics because I think we spend so much time being like, well, who fulfills me emotionally, which is incredibly important. But for you and I, time in logistics is really important.

And as soon as you said, how much time do we spend together, right? I've never really thought about it extremely deeply. But Ashley were speaking about a guy that I've been talking to on the phone last night. And he travels a lot for work. He works constantly. We're seven days week. And she was like, I understand why a lot of women would ever want that, but that's really great for you. And it is an important thing to think about. What does this look like day to day? And, Ashley and I both, if you want a girl that's home every night to make you dinner, that's there at 6 o'clock to talk about your day. Like, I can't speak for her.

I'm probably not your girl. I'm not going to be there seven days a week. I don't want to see you seven days a week. For me, I don't want somebody that we need to be together all the time. Like I might not be able to go to that wedding with you and you might not be able to go to this wedding with me or whatever it may be. Like, I just think as long as you feel secure in this relationship, that's this guy. I picked this guy for Rana.

And we met him together, but I convinced her to reach back out because I think he's a good match. I think that he is like a stable guy. And I said, like, I can absolutely understand why he is trouble. Again, we've only been fed a few scripts for a relationship, what you should want, how you should want it, blow it all up. It can be anything. I love it. I know a couple in L.A., a friend of mine, she and her husband madly in love for 20-something years. He lives in New York and she lives in L.A. Love it. And they commute. And they have kids even. And I just feel like, we've just been fed this whole pack of limited lies about what it looks like to be compatible and love somebody. Nobody should tell you your script. Write it, decide it, and then be flexible

if somebody else comes and it just is skinny dipping for you. Beautiful. And for you, it's like the Mile High Club. I do want to ask one more question because you seemed really excited to talk about it. So I was just hoping for your theory about picking above and below the line. Above and below the line describes your emotional resourcefulness. Below the line is when you're activated and triggered. You're scared, irritated. You feel overwhelmed. Red. It's red. Think red. It's like, oh, no. I can't really think straight. I'm not feeling very functional because I feel overly stimulated in a negative way. That's below the line. life's happening to me. I'm a victim. Things aren't going my way. We all have these moments a lot.

Like somebody interrupted us, somebody blocked us, somebody didn't give us the right medicine, whatever. We go below the line. Above the line is life's happening for me. Everything is a gift in a possibility. Even the hard things occur as, oh, here's a challenge I can overcome and make better. So you want to look for yourselves and for the people that you're around how to be above. the line. Above the line means I have enough free attention to actually think about you because I'm not obsessed and consumed with my own problems. So above the line people are people that are constantly and not perfectly, but constantly looking for opportunities to serve you and to be with you present. Below the line, which we all are, a lot of the times is I can't really pay attention to you because

I'm all caught up in my grill. How do we get above the line? I'm going to give you three simple skills that will translate to your audience. So one is to start defining, I'm in the red zone, not the green. That's the first step. You've got to have self-awareness. Oh, I mean, I go below the line all the time because I'm very fiery and temperamental. So it's like, oh, that person didn't return my email. I want to kill them. That's below the line. So you first identify, I'm below the line. Secondly, you do some kind of what's called PQ reps, positive intelligence, repetitions. And what that is is you literally take your fingertips, everyone, and you all do it right now, and you rub them together and feel the connection of the fingertips and do it for about

one minute, trying to only feel the sensation. This immediately puts your brain into a more positive place. Okay. The other way you can get above the line is repeat over and over. I'm okay right now, and this is an opportunity. I'm okay right now, and this is an opportunity. And the third way is to deep breathe 30 breaths slowly. And what I found, because again, I'm challenged all the time with my fiery nature, you do those three things once an hour every day. It will strengthen your neuro networks to be above the line.

Whatever you do puts you in the direction of below the line or above the line. So those are three practical tips. I love that and I think that it could be applicable if you are a person that is usually above the line and then you just you sink below. Like I probably started my morning below the line and you can just do it in the moment as like to re-center yourself. Yes, it's called a reset. It's a mental reset and it isn't that hard. But what is hard is when you double down on your red line like, oh, they didn't return my email. Neither did that person. And why am I even doing this? And you just spiral. Spiral. Yeah. And so you got to catch it.

Like I'm below the line, and then you've got to really do those exercises with intention. They only take a minute and say, I want to be above the line. It's really very simple and yet most people are just caught. I just like, I'm big on this visualized. And I'm just, I like to look at it like that of like, I've slipped below. Like I got to get back up. And I think you want to find a partner that is above the line too. And I think you know when someone isn't.

Oh, completely. Our moods are contagious, that's scientific. So if I'm with my partner and she's in a horrible mood, it's a lot of work for me to stay above the line because I'm just going to go right there with her. So we do a lot of humor about it. Oh, I'm sunk. I'm a loser. I'm horrible. I'm an idiot. Sometimes she'll say something to me that I've said or done

and I'll say, I'm just such a fucking asshole. You know, you just make fun of yourself. That's another way to get above the line. Okay. So the book is, if someone is single and wanting to find a partner, does this kind of outline how we can really work within the elements to do that? Yes, because here's the bottom line. If you are a person that somebody else would fall madly in love with, like so often, especially women are like, oh, I want this kind of person, I want that kind of person. But would they want you? Like, are you the person they would fall in love with?

that amazing human being, are you all that? This book will teach you to be all that. And to me, magnetism is living a fully expressed life. I've never met a person no matter what they look like. If they're fully expressed in their creativity and their talents, they are fucking sexy. That's the bottom line. You can see it all over pop culture. It's not how somebody actually looks. It's how they are. So this book will teach you to upgrade your vibration that no matter what, you're walking down the street and people are like, I want that. Okay. I love that. Yeah, I love that. Can you give us a few things from the book? You don't know, we want people to read the book. But like, what are a few ways that you do that?

Well, for one, we start off in the book, who shows up when you enter the room? We all have habits about how we enter rooms. Some people enter in very surreptitiously, checking it out. Like, I don't know. Maybe like, one of our daughters has Scorpio Rising. And when she was young, she's like, everyone's frightening. Who are they? Can I trust them? You know? And that's the vibe she put out and people were scared of her. So we talked a lot about it. But she entered the room as somebody who was frightened and then other people were frightened of her? That's what happens. If I'm suspicious and not trusting, guess what the vibe is? That's the whole thing of you think someone's a bitch because they're just like shy and insecure. Exactly. Yeah. You got that. Anyway, so in the book,

in the very first chapter, it gives you all these other options how to enter. the room. And guess what? You can choose before you enter a room. How you're going to be. So, for example, our youngest, who's now this amazing, famous yoga teacher and astrologer, and she's like amazing, Scorpio Rising. And she enters the room now making joy, humor. She chooses. So the book just shows you like you're not locked in. You're not locked in. I love that. I do love that. Someone told me the other night at the comedy club, he was like, the way you like walk into a room, you just like glide in, like you own the place. I was like, that's very attractive. Very, Ashley. Very attractive. Well, the day that I met her, I was like, is she going to be friendly to me? I'm not sure.

Like, Ashley makes you work for it more than I do. I, and it's, I'm not always proud of that quality in myself, because I will ask somebody a million questions and mine all the information about them. And I forget that like, number one, I don't know that I even fucking care about this. And number two, I'm here too. And maybe you should work a little bit to, to mine information. Okay, but being a double-jew. Gemini, you're like the firefly that comes in the room and lights up everybody's mind. That's what you do. You're never going to change that, but what you could do, and I'm going to advise you to do this, is be much more earthy. You're super attractive. You've got a great

body. Come into the room a little quieter and a little bit more self-commanding and be like, the divas here, who will serve me? I respect that about Ashley. I look at the way that she walks into a room and she is a little bit much more than I am, you're going to have to work for this a little bit more. Let's call it containment. Yes, she's more self-contained. She's more commanding of a room. I love the way that I am, but I love the way Ashley is too.

But I'm going to promise you, you start walking in like sultry and like not giving a lot away and just stand there. No, I'm not kidding. No, you're right. And then watch how you galvanize energy. You're going to be like so powerful because you're containing all this electricity. Really. I think also there's a lot to just

Yeah, self-talk. Like I went to that event that you didn't go with me and I had to do a little self-talk before I walked in the room of like, I don't know anybody here. I came alone and I do like self-talk and affirmations

before I go do stand-up if I'm feeling a little bit of anxiety. So you can shift your own mindset. So I just, we cannot hammer that enough. A lot of it is people always ask because how are you confident? How do you get confidence? And some of it is like you just decide.

And it's a momentary choice. And you can even, there's a lot to be said for fake until you make it. Like, just decide to do it before you walk into the room. And I'm going to give you another tip because I'm actually very, very shy if it comes to a social situation. And I was just in, I'm not allowed to say where or who, a very high profile event with all like big celebrities. And, you know, and I, of course, wanted to talk to people. But I learned this trick. If you're super shy and you're at an event like that, just,

go sit in a corner, and I did, but give really good energy, like observe the people, love the people, and I swear to God, the two people I had most hoped to meet at this event, both came and sat on the couch with me. Oh, wow. Because I do feel like if you just own your space, but give out good energy, don't try to suck the room, just give out good energy. They went, hey, how are you doing? It was beautiful. I'll practice that. That is beautiful. I love that. If you're just below the line, you're not giving that good energy. Right. And energy is contagious.

So, like, I try before I enter a room, because, again, I'm shy often, to just think, how can I uplift other people? Because that's going to make me more comfortable. I love that. We feel so honored to have you here, and this has been a really special conversation. And even just reading the people that left reviews that wanted to write reviews for your book, I mean, it's Jay Shetty and Emily Morris and Guedithrao. and I know you're friends with Esther Perel,

my Lord and Savior, I love her so much. It's just incredible how many people you've impacted from the lowest level to the highest level of celebrity. And we just feel so happy to have you here. And I read the book. I think it's great. I think there's a lot of applicable tools in there and checklists and things you can do solo

or with your partner. So I'm really excited to just read it more and do those checklists with somebody. And I want to just give a plug for your sex company because the eighth house chapter is all about self-pleasure and pleasuring others. We'll give you one. We have some here.

We're going to try it out. You guys can take it home with you. And then, of course, anywhere else people can find you. Well, please go to Dr. Jennifer Freed Instagram. And you can buy this book and get tons of free gifts, including a really cool sex questionnaire at Jenniferfree.com. So if you buy it through the site and show a receipt, you get hundreds of dollars of free gifts.

Oh, my gosh. And people, our audience, loves the sex questionnaire. Yeah. It's really good. 100 most important sex questions. Oh my gosh, it's so exciting. And you guys know where to find us. Girls Got a podcast for those tour tickets, merchandise, all the things.

Vibesonly.com, vibes only on social media. I'm going to be all over the place. Girls Got to Eat Podcast on Instagram. I am Ash Hess. Raina. greenberg. Girls underscore Got to eat on Twitter. Girls got to eat podcasts on TikTok.

Brand new on TikTok. And what am I forgetting? Mainly just get those tickets. You did it. The YouTube, the Instagram, Vives only. subscribe to the YouTube. If you're watching this, make sure you're subscribed. And we'll see you next week.

Have a good week, guys. Bye.