Girls Gotta Eat - We're Having Gay Sex feat. Comedian Ashley Gavin

Episode Date: June 22, 2020

We're reunited in NYC (!!!) and discussing gay sex, rebranding scissoring, and unpacking the "ho phase" with comedian and friend Ashley Gavin. She tells us about getting out in the dating scene after years of long-term relationships, her experience as a "flipper" and dating straight women, challenges of meeting not-so-gay-friendly families, coming out struggles, codependency in relationships, and more. We're also sharing the funniest things our listeners have heard in the bedroom, providing tv and book recs, and discussing celeb breakups. Hope you enjoy! Follow Ashley on Instagram @AshGavs and check out her podcast We're Having Gay Sex. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Check our website for tour dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Raycon: Get 15% off your order at buyraycon.com/gge. Nutrafol: Get 20% off at nutrafol.com with code GGE. DailyHarvest: Get $25 off your first box at dailyharvest.com with code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It can be wet, I suppose. True. It could be wet humping. Wet humping. Is wet humping just sex? Are we rebranding scissoring to be wet humping? We're rebranding scissoring to be wet humping. Welcome back to another episode in person together in New York of Girls Got to eat.

We're in the house studio. With Dewey in New York. We're here. We've ate it. I can't believe it. We're like sitting on the couches. It's just, I have to say, it's made recording a lot more fun for me and really exciting to just be able to like, look at you while we do it.

I know. Raina's hand is on my leg. I'm kidding. I would never touch her. I would never touch you. Okay, I have to ask you. Okay, so you told me to remember to wear a mask. And I was like, actually, I'm wearing a hazmat suit for like three months.

I haven't left the house without gloves and a mask in months. But then I was thinking like, at what point is it going to get old that I keep telling you since March? Because I walked home from your place last night. And I was like, that's the first time I've been on the street after dark by myself since March. Like how many times. until I exhaust the ability to say since March. It's like how you used to just always talk about being Jewish.

I mean, you still do. And people would make those memes of you, like Raina when she hasn't told you she's Jewish in five minutes. Like that's going to be, Raina when she hasn't said since March in 10 minutes. No one, not a single person. Raina, since March. Since March.

So, yeah, I mean, my experience is different. I mean, I wasn't here through the darkest days. And I came back on a beautiful day. and we've celebrated your birthday. So, yeah, I came back in and surprised Raina on her birthday last week on Wednesday. And I was unsure what the plan was going to be. If I was going to stay for a couple days, I wanted to come see Raina. And I also wanted to get closed because we are going to go do a beach vacation and Dewey in July.

And then I just got here and I was like, if I'm going to be here, I really don't need to go back and stay with my parents and put them at any risk, obviously and also just I love being here and I mean the second I walked into my apartment I was like I'm home this smelled so good it's so sunny and beautiful and like the flowers have finally grown like all along your property and I just I mean I got here I found a place to park the car I brought my castara back so that's my car now I have a car uh saw taric at ozatar talk to him saw some friends at the wine shop like I just had I've had a good experience I'm sorry to say this people are asking me what it's like and I'm telling you that, like, I have no idea what it was like to be here through the worst of it.

But, and again, a second wave could very much be coming. But in this moment, I think people are, everyone's wearing masks. New York is mask, mass, mask, masks on the street. Like, I have been not wearing a mask all the time. And so it feels like people are out. I mean, we went and did the thing in the park for your birthday. The weather's nice. It's a good vibe right now.

It is. It feels hopeful. And it feels nice to, like, have the flowers bloom a little bit. I was so bummed about my birthday because it was like a big birthday for me. And I turned 25. And I just felt like, like, I have so many, like, parties in my house. I love having everybody over. I love being with my family.

And I was, like, so disappointed that I wasn't going to, like, get to do that this year. And I know, like, a lot of people that have had things like birthdays, obviously graduations and things. I feel sad they missed out on that. But it was a really special day. You made it really special. Some girlfriends came over. Saw a bunch of people I haven't seen since March.

Yeah. Outside. Yeah, outside. social distant circle in the park. Yeah, and it was nice. I mean, everybody wears masks and sits socially distant, but it was, you know, you feel like extra loved that people

like showed up for you at a time like this where it's easy to not show up. And it was really, really nice and special. And thank you guys all for all the messages. You guys really came out in droves. You liked Ashley's picture a lot more than you liked mine. It's fine. I'm not mad.

I've been checking every day. You got way more likes on that photo than I did. It was my birthday. Listen, maybe it was the picture you posted. It was an old pick. You posted it before. I've seen it before. We're over it.

I know. My mom trolled that picture. My mom who doesn't even know how to use Instagram commented on the photo. Where is this? Our place is open. Why are you in a restaurant? Your mom? She couldn't tell.

That was so long ago. Well, my picture on my Instagram was like us reunited. There was the city in it. People love a bridge, man. My thighs looked really thick in that photo. People were like, Raina looks thicker than a snicker. Somebody said that? You know, like, one of our friends, Jared Friedens, was it Twitter?

His profiles had like skinnier and fatter in person. Yeah, we talked about with. I'm like that. Like, I saw that photo on your thing and I was like, my legs look thick. And then I saw a video of myself like two seconds later. And I was like, I look like such a tiny little nugget. Yeah, you never know. I'm fatter and skinnier in person.

It's fatter and skinner in person. So we talked about the first thing I said to him when he came and did our episode. so long ago. Well, I know you have some things you want to talk about, but I've been wanting to tell you this because it's so funny. So like I mentioned, we are going to Dewey in July around my birthday. So we're going to do a little girl's trip, hopefully, you know, depending on how we feel as far as like safety and stuff at that time. But, you know, Dewey for the most part is open-ish. I mean, people are, there's still rules and regulations in place and stuff like that.

still wear masks. Delaware's been great. Everywhere's wearing masks. Like every wah-wah, every place, there's a sign in the door, which I like because I feel bad for people that live in these places where it's not mandatory. And then you have people like weirdly shaming and people aren't doing it. And so I just wish it would be mandatory everywhere. But anyway, props to Delaware. They've been doing it right. Very few cases. We're going to go do a beach trip in a few weeks. And I was out with Matt and his fiancee at a restaurant. My first restaurant was like, what, two weeks ago at this point? And there was this guy that came in. I think he, yeah, I think he works at the starboard. And he's like really cute. And he's like got

your kind of vibe. He's like, he was a man. Yeah. No, he was like kind of a guy version of you. Really cute, really great. He was a midget. No, he was like, he's probably like a five, ten or 11. You know what I mean? Like he was just like, he really was serving like Raina vibes as a guy. And Matt was like, I'm really feeling this for Raina. And I was like, me too. And, like, I was like, she were going to, you know, she's going to be here in a couple weeks. And he sits down. We were talking with him. Was he a lifeguard?

And he's not a lifeguard. But Matt was like, he's such a stud and dewy. Like everybody, you know, all the girls are like into him. And Matt's like, we got a girl coming in a couple weeks. I think I'd like to introduce you to her. And he's like, oh, yeah. And Matt goes, want to see a picture of her naked? And I go, what?

And Stephanie goes, what? And then he met your Instagram. I literally lost it. Me and Stephanie were like, Matt has a nude of Raina. and we're going to find out. It was the funniest thing. He said it so casually. He goes, want to see a picture of her naked?

We were like, what if Matt revealed at a family dinner that I've been low-key sending him news? He said it so dead, like, he said it so seriously that I was like, my mind was like, what the fuck is about to happen? And then he was like, that picture on Instagram. If you guys are a new listener,

Stephanie is his fiancee. Yeah. That, okay. So what do you say? It was, he was like, oh, nice. Yeah, it was so funny, though, because there is a picture of you naked on Instagram with the zucchini bread. Zucchini gate 2020. But it was funny, and he's into it.

So we have somebody lined up for you. I am so excited. I'm disappointed. He's not a lifeguard, to be honest. But I'm excited that you lined up some dick for me and some dewy dick. Some dewy dick. Be safe, though. You know, wrap it up.

Wrap it up. I'm going to double condom it. And mask it. Oh, yeah. Only doggy style. That's like in like documents like government documents. Yeah. The safest way to have sex.

The same way to have sex. 100%. I mean, I just like it. Yeah. I can think about other stuff. Why not? Like, you know, you can just like, I make like great mental notes when I'm getting it from behind.

Like you can masturbate a little bit. It's nice. It's nice. I like it. All right. Well, a couple weeks away. A couple weeks away. So I wanted to tell you about some content I've been crushing.

And then because I've been watching. this stuff. I have to tell you about these couples. Well, you know, at first, I'm going to tell you about some celebrity gossip. Okay. That you are unburdened by because you don't care about any of this. Okay. So, couple news, Outer Banks, which is like, I can't stop thinking about it. Okay. The main couple, Sarah and John B. announced on Instagram, Madeline Klein and Chase Stokes, that they are, in fact, an actual couple. Wow. Yes. He said cats out of the bag and posted a photo of them. So the internet is going wild. I bet. you're totally unburdened by this. You're so lucky. And then I am so upset the couples from

Too Hot to Handle Harry and Francesca, who I masturbated to a ton, have broken up. Also, Ashley's like, I don't care about this at all. It's so like, I wanted to watch that though. Like I, I might watch it now. I wanted to watch that one. But it was like, I just, it was a lot to binge, you know, when I was at my parents, like, alone with my laptop. It's too sexy. You can't watch it with your parents. But what I want. wanted to say to you was, like, the too hot to handle a couple, like, their Instagrams, both theirs were so extra about this is the love of my life, the greatest person I've ever met, my person, my soulmate, whatever. And then they just like broke up yesterday. And I think it's

so interesting, these couples that are like so extra on social media. And then they released this like one sentence statement, like we broke up. And I'm like, I need more information. Yeah, we've been along for the ride. We deserve the updates. I watched the whole series. I watch you guys get together. I've been following this relationship. I thought y'all were going to get married and now you just broke up. He said like, I've been going through some tough stuff and we broke up and I'm like, bitch, what? We need more. Took down all the, all the Instagram photos. He did. She did not. That is so fascinating to me. I know. The deleting and who decides to do it. Cassie and Colton broke up. Like I didn't really watch that season, but I mean, I knew the drama

was she left and all that. You know, remember he jumped over the wall, the Bachelor? He got coronavirus, right? He's that guy. that's the only reason I know who that is. Yeah. But it was the thing where he... I'm unburdened by this. That was a pretty dramatic ending. But they broke up.

And they were very like, love my life type of stuff. But then their statement was like, we're still friends. I was like, well, okay. So I thought about this because I saw their statement. And everybody releases that statement.

And that statement is always true until one of them starts dating another person. Yeah. And then it's like, I fucking hate this person. I just don't think, I mean, these amicable, unconscious couplings, like,

that's just not my style. Like, if I had to, if I got famous enough to be dating somebody and have to release a statement that we broke up, I'd be like, we fucking broke up. We are not friends. And you will not see a trace of him on this Instagram. Like, I just don't, I mean, I could be wrong.

Maybe I'll, you know, keep maturing. But like, it's just right after the breakup, you just move right into the, into friendship. It's not really normal. I don't think that it's a real statement, though. I think your publicist writes it.

I think it's what everybody writes. It's just like, and it's just like a mutual agreement not to like publicly shred each other to death. Yeah. And I think that divorces are a little different. You have kids. I mean like Gwyneth and Chris Martin.

Yeah, but like, you know, a non-married, younger couple, it's so weird to me to just to think about my breakups and that I would be like, I still love him as a friend. Like that. I have one to break up. We still love each other. We're still going to support each other. And it's like, so what is the

relationship now? What it was before just minus the fucking? Yes, minus the fucking. I have one boyfriend I would write that about. Like my DCX, I'd be like, we broke up. We still love each other. We're friends. It's just the sex was terrible and we don't want to do that anymore. Which maybe that could have been because I mean, it was his first sex.

Oh, it was? He was a virgin. Yeah. I didn't follow his season. I don't know. Again, I only discovered him because he got the coronavirus. Are those your Those are my content things. I have watched two things and read one thing this week that I wanted to tell you just to recommend. Just bought a book, Andre Leont Talley, the Chafon Trenches. He was the editor at large at Vogue magazine. Talks a lot about growing up in the segregated South, moving to New York, ascending the fashion ladder. Ascending? Going up. He worked for Annie Warhol, Warren was Ray Daily in Vogue. And I thought it was just an interesting story to listen to a black man talk about living in this world at that time and being promoted constantly.

and I wanted to really commit to reading books by black authors, and he just put out the book, and I think it's really fascinating. I actually bought it on tape because I like listening to him to tell his story. So that's been really great. I like listening to it. It's all kinds of cool stuff also about fashion and Andy Warhol and living in Paris and Carl Lagofelt. So if you guys like that, I've been really enjoying it. I think he's a lot of interesting insights, and I didn't know that he had also a history of sexual abuse,

so there's some stuff in there about that as well, hard to read, but important. And then I found some trash television this week that I'm really enjoyed. enjoying. It's the Betty Broderick story. Oh, I don't know this. So you watched Dirty John, which you loved. Right, right, right. It's from the creators of that. It's on USA, which like, I didn't even know USA was still a thing. USA was the center too. These networks just like dusted themselves off and came back out with like this great content. But Betty Broderick story, it was a really famous divorce in this woman. She was with this guy through law school, medical school, had four kids, tons of miscarriages. She just like stuck by his side through everything and did everything for him.

she like ascended the social ladder. He made all this money. And then he left her for his 21 year old secretary or something. Had a two year long affair with this girl. Marries her. And then Betty Broderick broke into their house, shot them both in the head and killed them. What?

Yes, while they were sleeping. Really famous, crazy divorce in the 1980s. They made a show about it. It's with Amanda Pete and Christian Slater. So I am loving it. It's just nice trash. And I love murder. So I've been really enjoying that.

Thanks for the Rex. You're welcome. I watched Just Mercy. a week or so ago, which is the story of a civil rights attorney named Brian Stevenson, who founded the Equal Justice Initiative. And it tells the story of him setting out to work with these prisoners that were on death row, one of them being completely innocent in Alabama in the late 80s into the 90s and the systemic racism that he encountered some really heartbreaking stuff in the movie. But I think it's really important to watch. It will make you feel a lot of things.

Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Fox are in it. And it's, it's, it's, it's, It's not a hot take. It came out in 2019, but a lot of people are watching it now, and it's streaming free through June. So you can go to the website, justmercifilm.com, and it will tell you where you can stream it and watch it. And then I'm reading Americana, which is by Chimamanda Noghese Adichi. It's got a love story component, as well as some racial issues as well. Yeah, it says it's a remarkable novel of race, love, and identity. So I'm excited to read that. I just started it. Those are our content racks. We always want to talk about what's going on in the world.

Right now, it's Pride Month, but, you know, Pride Month, we should always be committed to fighting for equal rights for all humans, lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and queer. And on this podcast, we are committed to having guests of all genders and sexual orientations on as guests. We have in the past, and we always know we can do better, and we're going to continue to do that. So we do have a lesbian guest on today. We were obviously very excited to hear about the Supreme Court ruling on LGBTQ discrimination in the workplace.

I'm sure you guys heard about that. That was last week. But the Supreme Court ruled that the 1964 Civil Rights Act protects gay, lesbian, and transgender employees from discrimination based on sex. The ruling was six to three. You can guess which three did it before. Happy Monday to all six of you, not the three of you. So we can always be more educated and find resources on how to support and help the LGBT community. Glad is an easy place to go. We all know Glad. GLAAD.org. Researcher you're voting for

where they stand on LGBT issues, shop queer owned businesses, Babe Land we recommend. And we had an episode with someone from Babe Land and they're so great in the community. And this is a podcast where we talk about sex, so we can't recommend them enough. The vibrators Rain and I both have are from Babe Land. So that's a good place to start. You can always Google it tons of articles about LGBTQ-owned businesses. I just, it's so important to me to live in a place and to support politicians that support that every person in this country is given the exact same rights.

So whether that's protection at work, whether that's your right to have marriage, it's so important to me to live in a place where I, that says, you know, equality for all and actually gives it to people. So I'm really glad that this work has happened. I love the Supreme Court ruling. They had a great week last week. They also struck down the ruling to end DACA. Well, and I'm glad that we're making these strides

because I think we were all a little worried, you know, with who was recently elected and things like that. It's like, you know, this is the law of the land, that this is who blocks these crazy things the president does. So it's just like, okay, I feel good about it now. Yeah. Do you want to do your person of the week? I do a person of the week.

I do a person of the week. Yeah. I have a personal week. I'm just going to go through it really quickly. Nicole Cardoza, C-A-R-D-O-Z-A. She's an entrepreneur, investor, speaker, founder of Yoga Foster, which empowers educators with yoga and mindfulness for the classroom, which I think is so huge to get kids started on mindfulness and things like that. In the classroom, the reason why I chose her is, so she has a newsletter that's probably about two weeks old at this point called anti-racism daily. And every day you get something that is going to educate you, give you actionable items to do. I'm just going to even read a few of the emails that I have. There was one about centering black trans lives, diversifying your media consumption, learn about the history of lynching in America, taking down Confederate symbols and more information on that. So this is, I love this and I hope it continues. I mean, I don't see a reason why I wouldn't. And I do recommend if you get it to throw some money at it too. But that is just a small thing

that you can do daily that you get this email and take the small chunk of your day to be more educated to do something actionable. So I love her. I'd love to have her on too. And I think, I've been thinking about this a lot at the Black Lives Matter movement and like what happens next because protests will fade away. And everybody posting every single day on social media

will fade away. And I think, you know, when you talk about quote unquote, the work, I think that like that never stops. And so actually committing to learning about black owned businesses, black writers, black television shows, and like educating your family and having these conversations. I'm still having these conversations with my family and my parents to try to move the goalpost a little bit with people that are of a different generation. And I think like the quote unquote work always continues with stuff like this. You know, this isn't just like let's talk about this for three weeks and then go back to real life because work comes back into play and children and all these other things. So I think this is a special and important thing that you can do to full. this into your life every day going forward. Yeah, and I think a message that a lot of us are

seeing and learning, and you'll see it a lot from activists and educators like Rachel Cargill or Monique Mellon or Akela Hughes is that being anti-racist, it's something that you don't just attain. You know, you're not like, I got there, I'm done. Like, it's not, it's not self-improvement. You know what I mean? Like, it's not like, I am going to commit to doing this stuff to make me a better person. Like, it's just not about that. It's about that you genuinely want equal rights for everybody and including the most marginalized people. So it's just, yeah, you're right, it never stops. And it's not a self-improvement practice. And it's not this like, you know, badge of honor that you get to say you're anti-racist. Like, it's just ongoing stuff. And that's why I love finding

these things that hold you accountable, daily, whatever it may be and just keep it ongoing. So it's like the ultimate, don't talk about it, be about it to me. Like, you know, I can spend two weeks watching all of these documentaries and never think about it again. And you know, you hear the word performative allyship going around a lot. And some of it is. But a lot of this will just continue. And I think it's really important. We're going to keep talking about it. We're going to keep having guests that can show you all different views on the world. And that's what we're committed to. And yeah, I'm just excited to keep it up, keep learning. Yeah. We can all always, nobody's, yeah, there's just no, there's no like, I reach the top, I'm done. You know, it's just like consistent.

We are fully admitting we can always do better. And we're going to continue to try. Yeah. Really excited to introduce this guest today. She is a good friend of ours. She's an actor, a comedian, the host of the We Are Having Gay Sex Podcast. You've seen her comedy. I've been on it. You've seen her and heard her comedy on Fox, Hulu, Series X-M and more.

She's most famous on TikTok, which she's embarrassed to put on paper, and yet she made me say it because she wrote this intro. Oh, my God. I did. Welcome to the podcast, Ashley Gavin. Thank you so much for having me. Thanks for being here. If we had another Ashley? I don't think so.

Wow. I really don't really like it because I should be the only Ashley in the podcast. I totally understand and I almost said no. What other name would you like to go by? No, no, no, it's totally fine. Oh, God. It's Helen. If you guys call me Helen, I might leave.

Guys, please welcome to the house studio, Helen. Kevin. Helen, tell us more about yourself. Yeah, sure. I am my grandmother. Is it a family name? It's a family name. It's my dad's mom's.

I never met her, but we can channel her. I'm sure she'd love to be associated with the We're Having Gay Sex Podcast. My dead grandmother, who I've never met. Actually, Helen, we really just, it really flows. Well, Helen, I met you. Oh, my God. I met you exactly one year ago at a party by the Remy Casimir was having, who's also a former guest of our show, exactly when you were going.

And then you came to my birthday party, like a couple days later. I thought that was so cool. I was like, this girl's just going to, like, show up and, like, hang out with people. And you just, like, fit in with everybody. And I was like, I love her so much. Oh, thank you so much. My high school,

high school, Ashley Gavin, would so appreciate that because I don't think I've ever been comfortable at a party. But it's my nightmare going to a house party with people. That's my least favorite social situation. House party, everybody knows each other. I don't know a lot of people. Yeah. No, it was, I was actually very stressed out to go.

But I wanted to, Remy's so nice. Remy's like one of my best friends in comedy. And, and, you don't know what. And she was like, no, you should really come. It's going to be a lot of really cool people. And I was like, okay. And then it was like a lot of fun. And now, yeah, in the podcasting world, which is so cool.

Can we talk about the name of your podcast? Yeah. Like the origin story. The origin story of we're having gay sex. Yeah. Helen would love it. Gay sex. Helen loves gay sex so much.

Yeah. No, honestly, I just, look, the reality is there are so many great podcasts like yours for women that are like sex positive. And I was like, is there not a single one for queer people in general that's like a sex positive podcast? And I was like, no, not a single one. And so I was like, well, I'm just going to nail on the head. We're having gay sex. That's all it is. It's, it's conversational. Yeah, that's where it came from, I guess. Yeah. I love it. It's like you can't look away. Like if it's, if it's, that's what I love about gay sex. There's a lot of eye contact. Very little if we're really being real about it. There's very little. I love.

contacted. All right, let's talk about that. I'm just saying when you see it in your Instagram story or whatever, it stops you in your tracks. Yeah, it's a great name. It's a marketing employee for sure. But it's worked, I think. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. And you were so gracious, you had me on. You let me talk about my gay sex. Yeah. Well, that's the point. Gay people have been consuming straight content for years and years. And we watch The Bachelor. We watch all the straight shit. And I really wanted, when we, when I thought of it, I thought, I want to make a podcast where straight people learn about gay sex and realize that it's not actually that different from the sex that they're having and that the problems and the solutions and the connections are all really the same. So it's great to have

guests like Raina, you know, you've obviously had gay sex, but, and I'm so happy for you that you have. Thank you so much. But yeah. I am so excited to talk about gay sex. So I will, I will openly admit it's a blind spot for me. Like, well, it doesn't have to be. I am here. No, and I, like, I just feel like I've, I'm just going to come out with it. I don't totally understand it. I haven't had it. And it's like, we had one guest on where I was like, I know scissoring is like offensive or isn't even a thing or whatever.

Like it's, so it's, I just would like some more details. I have so many thoughts on scissoring. We just did an episode about scissoring. Cisoring gets a really bad rep. And there's lots of different names for different types of scissoring. But what you're basically talking about is what I think of is like, clitoral stimulation that might happen from genital to genital contact, but it also might happen like, you know, you've,

you've scissured. Here's the thing, you have scissors. Dry hump. So, yeah, you've dry humped. You've also probably been fucking a dude and you're on top and you're like rubbing your clip on him. For sure. That's scissoring.

I don't think straight women realize how much they scissor. Okay. Yeah, so it's all just kind of dry humming the same bucket? Yeah, yeah. I would put it in the dry, although it can be, it can be wet, I suppose. It could be wet humping. Wet humping. Is wet humping just sex?

Are we rebranding scissoring to be wet humping? We're rebranding scissoring to be wet humping. Guys, as one of the people in the room that had sex with women, I would just like to say, I don't think I scissored, but maybe with a girl. Did you do any, like, thigh stuff? Thigh stuff is another thing that I think is the origin of scissoring. Like, I think when two women are, like, hooking up and their legs interlock, and then you've got your clit on her thigh, she has her clit on your thigh,

she has her clit on your thigh and there's like rubbing going on. I think, and that's like dry humping, I would say. I think that got turned into, because scissoring got butchered by porn. For sure. And probably men, because they ruin everything. They do. They ruined it. You know what this looks like?

Fucking scissors, dude. Yeah. Like it was probably some like bro. Exactly. It was like, you know, have you ever seen scissors? Have you ever seen? Bro, do you know what scissors are, bro? Some dude was like cutting something and he was like, wait a minute.

This looks like a porter. Why am I like so hard right now? Why am I like cutting this paper and I just have this rock hard erection? Why do I keep thinking about lesbians as I'm cutting this piece of paper, bro? Okay. There's something important I wanted to say and I lost it. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's not that important.

It probably is about gay porn. I only watched gay porn for like most of my life. Yeah. Lesbian porn. That's what a lot of straight women say to me and I never watched gay porn, lesbian porn, like ever. That's what a lot of lesbians say. say to me. Yeah. Do you like straight porn?

Well, I don't love porn. Same. Because when I watch straight porn, I then feel guilty about it afterwards and I start to have like a mini identity crisis. It makes me upset to watch it. But then I was like, I need to find porn that I like. And literally like a week ago, do you guys know the jelly filled girls? No.

There are porn stars? They're porn stars. They're gay. I think they're a real life couple. Okay. Everyone was, yeah, people were like, you got to have the jelly filled girls on your podcast and I went and watched their porn and I was like, oh, I actually really like this. So I found some gay porn that I'm into, but I'm definitely, I've watched two videos. So I'm not an expert. Okay. But you know, you liked it. Yeah. Um, okay, this is the question I'm wanting to ask. I can't remember if we've asked this before. Um, when you say, I had sex as a lesbian, does that just simply mean that you came? because I think even straight people, it always means, like, I think penetration.

So if a penis went inside of me, I would say we had sex, whether nobody came or not. Like, when it goes in, that's what I would call it. I mean, I guess, like, all labels don't matter. But I am, I've always been curious, like, because, again, I'm not a lesbian. And I, what does it mean when you say I had sex with a woman? I love that question. That's a question that I, like, have been dancing around in my stand up for so long, because the definition of sex is penetration by like all of society.

And I just want to back up and like qualify that like you have only ever dated women in your life. Yeah. Okay. Well, there was Tim in the seventh grade. Okay. But you didn't see his dick. So you never saw. You've never seen a dick in person.

No, no, no. No. Never tasted a dick. Not in the flash note. Tasted. That's so far beyond seeing. Yeah. You don't taste before you see.

Right. I think it's the same time. I don't know. Yeah. you're like, oh, I'm awake. Ah, there's a dick in my mouth. You know, Raina, if she's seeing it, she's tasting it. 10 out of 10.

I never saw a dick. I didn't immediately want to eat. Never? Sorry, Mom. Yeah, sometimes. Once in a while. Like, yeah, like my dad's or like my brother. Oh, my God.

Wow. That's an extreme example. Yeah. Whatever saw their dicks. Anyways, back to you. So you only ever, yeah, besides seventh grade boyfriend, only ever dated women. Yeah. And that really didn't count.

That was a sad time. For Tim, too, I would imagine. Honestly. I wonder what. him thinks of all of this, but he would be a great podcast guest. You should have Tim on. No, you should. He's one of those adults that goes to Disney World now.

With his kids or by himself? What? Like you know him? Like you've kind of confident? I've seen it on the, God. No, no. No. I've seen on like social media. In social media.

Like this isn't a joke. He does go to Disney as an adult. He goes to Disney as an adult with his wife who is named Ashley. Of course. Well, he was like, I've got to get one Ashley. I'm not going to turn. I'll get the next one. Also, no shade to adults at like Disney.

Yes, I'm so sorry. I'm canceled. No. But what a turn of events if you got canceled for being like, you know, I just don't fuck with Mickey. Okay. So you said you haven't thinking about this yourself. You talk about your stand-up.

I'm the worst interviewee. I'm just like, I'm defining the story here. We're going to talk about Disney World. But no, I, I, and I don't. don't know that we really know what sex is. I feel like even sex is on a spectrum. I feel like virginity is kind of on a spectrum too. I mean, I think it depends because sometimes you can like just do finger banging and it feels really intense and you're like, yeah, that was sex. We were naked. Like it felt very intimate. But then there are other times where I'll just go down on a girl

and maybe it'll be like a quickie and I'm not even, I don't know. I can't really give you an answer other than I define losing my virginity as the time that I. I'm, I went down on a girl and she went down on me in the same night. And I would say that's, I don't know, I think for straight people, if you guys are mutually going down on each other, you're probably kind of having sex. Yeah. I think for me, people have to come. It feels like people have to come.

Well, then I haven't had that much sack. Yeah, that sounds like five people. Right. Maybe at best. I think ideally both partners come. Okay. But that wouldn't apply to the heterosexual definition of sex by a landslide. No, because I mean, I've either had.

sex with 70 people or six people. Yeah. You know, by that definition. Yeah, I don't know. I think, I think if it feels like sex, it's sex. And call it what do you ever you want. Yeah. Well, you have an interesting dating history. I want to unpack it a little bit with you. Sure. You were like a serial monogamous. I'll let you talk about it, tell your own life story, but you were like a serial monogamist for a long time and then you had like a ho phase. Yes. I want to talk about it. Yeah. I did a lot of long term. I had a three-year relationship in college. And then I started dating a girl for six years. at the end of college and then started dating another girl for like three years. So I've,

I've done the monogamy thing pretty. And I've always considered myself a relationship person. Like I never thought that I could ever be the type of person to have sex casually or like be friends with someone and have sex with them. But then at the end of the 12 years of dating, I thought, I'm not doing this right. Because so many people, they meet someone, they date them for three years. They're engaged and then they get married. And that like was not happening for. me, all of these relationships were pretty unhealthy at certain points, even though I loved them and I'm still friends with some of them. But I was like, I think I need to never, to not do this again. And I was like, I just decided. I was like, you're going to do this different. You're

going to be a whore for a year. And you're just going to like do your ho phase in your early 30s as opposed to your early 20s. And yeah, and I set out. And I think that I did it. I think that I was a very good whore. I love it. Can I ask you a question? I want to float an idea to you. Any you. If you are in all these back-to-back long-term relationships and you said like that it didn't, you were doing the right thing, are you a, are you a failure if you have a three-year relationship and doesn't end with getting married or six years? Like I don't think the, I think the answer is no, but I'm just curious what your guys' thoughts is. I mean, I think there is no like success and failure when it comes to relationships. Like,

you're married for 20 years, then you get a divorce, you didn't fail. Like, I just don't even like the terminology. I agree with you. Because what is the end goal? Some people don't even want to get married. So it's like what everybody has a different end goal. Like you didn't fail. The relationship didn't fail.

You're not a failure at relationships. I agree with you. If you're learning and you're growing. Yeah, that was a good question because I definitely sounded like an idiot. No, you didn't. I want to qualify because a lot of people probably feel like that. Yeah. And I have been in that position.

I think for me it was like I was doing this. I was making the same mistakes and I was fully happy ever in my relationships. It's when there's pattern after pattern after pattern. Yeah, I was like doing a lot of codependent stuff and my relationships. I just finally realized I was like, this is never, none of these are ever going to be. I want to get married one day. That is something that I want to the right person. Woman, I don't know. To Tim. But yeah, so I was just like, what is it that you're doing? And honestly, by dating around so much, I really think that I started to be able to observe the beginning of those patterns, like kind of starting to happen and like

the types of people that I normally would have gotten into a relationship with. But now that I had like some perspective, I was like, oh, why would you ever seriously date that person that they're so not for you? You know what I mean? It was really, it was interesting. And I slept with so many people, which was also really nice. How did you get back out there? Like, was it uncomfortable at first? Because you were used to just serious girlfriend. There were ones, there were some, days that I was like, oh, huge, this was a big, big mistake to sleep with this person. Like, why did you do that? There were like two or three of those. But then you start kind of figuring out, you know, you start seeing the signs of like, oh, I can have like a kind of romantic,

casual thing with this person and it won't get weird or I trust this person. You kind of see the red flags a little easier once you, it's practice makes perfect, right, for identifying red flags. Yeah. So, yeah, it was. I don't know. I think I really just, I think I really needed to have sex with a lot of people. I don't know how to answer this question. I really wanted to talk around. I meant like, did you do apps or were you like meeting people in bars? I was on the apps. Bars is hard for a lot of gay people. Not for me because I don't really care if someone looks straight. I'm going to hit on them. You hit on me. I loved it. Yes. Thank you so much. I feel seen. Yeah, because I like, I've dated so many straight women. I have no ego about being rejected anymore. which I think is important if you're going to hit on people.

You need to be prepared to fail. And not take it personally. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this was a trans... This is so corny. This was a very transformational year for me. And I knew in my heart this was something.

This is so... Makes it sound like I was like, I have to... I have to climb Everest. It's a part of my purpose. Yeah. And Everest was like 40 girls. Yeah, yeah, it was. So I want to know how it...

But so I went on... I didn't, I was not in my head about it. I was very, I was able to, like, be mindful almost. I was able to observe it and not take it personally. You know what I mean? So, like, when I got rejected, when I was on the apps and, like, I wasn't matching with people or people were ignoring my pickup lines. I didn't take it personally.

I just, like, changed my photos and changed my pickup lines. Okay. You know what I mean? I looked at it very technically. And as far as in person stuff, this is obnoxious, but I've met a lot of girls after shows. Yeah. Okay. Which was fun.

They see you do something. You're good. at that's attractive. Yeah. And there were a couple times that I went up to people in bars. Okay. Yeah.

I like this thing of constantly evolving the dating profile too and being like, this doesn't work. Yeah. How do I make it better? Yeah. Like I think,

I used to be a software engineer. So when I want to be data driven, I can be. Yeah. And so if like something's not working, don't take it personally. You know what I mean? Like it's stupid.

Apps are stupid. You know, like they're great, but they're also so, stupid because that's not who you are. So if you can separate yourself from it and understand like this is just a tool, then you like tweak the tool. It's not you.

It's the tool. So like tweak the tool. Dating apps are tools. People are going through like they could have a, they could have a partner. They could be going through something. Like you just never know. Yeah. The person on the other side, this stranger is dealing with.

Yeah. I think that it's just you can't take it personally. Or they're not sitting on the toilet anymore. You know? Right. Exactly. I only really use dating apps. like it's probably like Sunday night.

I'm like, I haven't met anybody in so long and I'm depressed and like whatever. And I go in there and I swipe a ton and then I just forget about it. Sometimes I'll put it down for like a month and I won't come back to it. Yeah. Yeah. So it's not personal. Like people are like,

I think take it really hard when they're in the middle of a conversation and somebody doesn't respond to you. And it's just like people just went back to their life. They don't know you. Yeah. Yeah. They never knew you in the first place. It's so much harder to get rejected when somebody gets to know you.

And then did you? Was it was your mindset just like I don't want a relationship? This is like strictly. sex. A hundred percent. Which is probably also takes a lot of pressure off. It does. It's like, who cares if they don't? We're just fucking. Yeah, exactly. There were a couple times where I was like, oh, I kind of sad that person doesn't want to go on more dates with me. But I think, again, I was in this mindset of like, you guys have that great episode about breaking up with someone who's like not the one. You know what I mean? Like I sort of knew

that these women, even though I wanted to hook up with them more, they weren't the one. So like, what's the big, in the grand scheme of things, what's the big deal? You know what I mean? Do you think when you were putting out that energy? Because I feel like people can like smell it on you when you like want somebody so badly versus when you don't. I think it's like kind of sexy when you're just like living life. Like, you know, what comes. I don't know. It doesn't matter. Come what May. Thank you, data scientist. Wow. That's what data scientists say. Helen is crushing it. Yeah, Helen. That's more of a Helen thing. Do you, do you, like, do you feel like that attracted a lot of people to you? And did you feel like you had to have that conversation with people or they just knew? I had the conversation. I was like very upfront. Oh, okay. Surprised me a lot how much people were surprised sometimes when I was like, oh, I'm not going to date you. Like, oh, yeah, because first date, I would literally

just say upfront, I just got out of something. I'm not looking to be in a relationship. Love to be your friend. Love to hang out a bunch. But I'm just not being exclusive right now. and I'm not, I'm not, you're not going to be my girlfriend. Did anyone bolt? I don't think anyone did. Yeah.

Because I augmented, so again, data science, I changed my approach about one or two months in. One month in, I was scared that I, like,

wouldn't meet anybody and I would go on a date with anyone. Literally anyone who matched with me, who I had a decent conversation with, I would go on a date with. Okay. Bad, bad idea. Don't do that.

Okay. Set the bar high. Then, anybody that could form like five, six back and forth interactions. Yeah. And I like even moderately liked their pictures. I would go on a date with them. But then I went on a date with this horse girl.

And I was like, you can't do this anymore. No more horse girls. So we got to talk about horse girls because. What's a horse girl? They have a braid usually. A horse girl usually has a long braid. Yes, Raina, you're rocking a horse girl. No, you're not.

You're so not. They're just like, this one girl that I went on this date with, I was talking about comedy. And anything I said about comedy, she related it back to horses. No matter what I. I was talking about. She was like, yes, this really reminds me of this time in the stable. And I was like, this is not the same. Well, and I do have some friends that ride horses. But like as a hobby, like, as people, you know, run and do yoga, it's like that, that's what they do. As opposed to like, your whole life is literally horses. Yes. This, if you went into her room, you would, the ribbons would still be on the wall. You'd have the figurines. And like, honestly, Taylor Swift serves a little horse girl vibes. Yeah. Taylor Swift does. Horse girls love Taylor Swift. Yes. That's definitely a Venn diagram overlap right there. between horse girls and Taylor Swift and Taylor Swift herself. And I would totally fuck Taylor Swift. She's so cool.

But right, exactly. Did she have a lot of horses in her photos? Like, were there telltale signs ahead of time? I don't know. I did find she's so she's a horse vet. That's her job. Well, she's a vet. That's fucking cool.

That's why I went on the day with her. I was like, she's, to be a horse vet, you got to be really good at that. Yeah, a large animal vet. Yeah, super smart. You're like, you're, I think there's even more. involved in that than being a human doctor. Yes, yes. And I thought she's got to be super smart. I love smart women. I love like, like brave, like powerhouse. And then when I met her, it was just, she was just really weird. She's a horse doctor in New York. So she's, so here's

why the date got really fucking weird. So she's a horse doctor. She set her location to New York. I'm on this date with her. And I'm like, where, where are you horse doctoring? You know what I mean, where's the horse hospital? And she was like, oh, it's like kind of on the border where Queens becomes Long Island. And I was like, how long did it take you to get here? And she was like, an hour. And I was like, okay. And the date is going very badly.

Like, not good. I'm looking for an out type of thing. And she's like, well, the next train, the trains are like nine years apart. There's never any trains. And I don't want to like ditch her to wait for the train. She wanted a city gal. She came out of the stables and was like, I'm sending my location to Manhattan. I'm getting a city gal.

I'm going to ride this bitch all the way up. This is like a hallmark movie. Yes, totally 100%. Horse girl takes Manhattan. I'm so sorry. What a comedian and a horse girl fall in love. Ride off into the sunset, literally. I mean, and then I sat with her.

until the train finally came and I felt so bad. I appreciate that. But yeah, I don't know. It was not good. So aren't we all low-key, a little bit jealous of horse girls? Because, like, my parents didn't buy me a fucking horse. That's the other thing. They do have family money, most horse girls.

It's not a cheap hobby. No, no, no, no. One of my friends brought her horse to college. Like, she, were you fucking kidding me? She went to like a women's school. Where'd she go? Sweetbriar. Okay.

Was this a long time ago? I went to a women's college, which is why I know so many horse girls. Where'd you go? Brynmar. God ass. Oh, you do. Okay. But she was like, the horse had like, you know,

they took the, it was more important that the horse was like up to par for college than me, you know. Like, but. Oh, that was a part of her acceptance. The horse also had to apply. I think. What do you do with that? I'll ask her. She's like a cool fucking chick, you know.

There is a, you can enjoy horses and be cool. But if you enjoy horses, maybe check in with yourself if you are a horse girl. Okay. but I don't have a problem with somebody who's also a horse vet. Because, like, we all want to talk about comedy. We work in comedy. Totally.

All the time. I'll talk about comedians. That's what's what sold me was the fact that she was a horse vet. I liked that. She also, she really needs somebody with some sort of passion for horses. I think so. And we talked about this in our episode last week of like,

if there's a thing that defines your life, the person you're with needs to be interested in some way. Yes, I agree. I like this road you're going next. I think a lot of people, become single and they're like, I just want attention, which I totally get that. We all do. And you're just like, I'll take it from anywhere, but you realize that's like not the way to go. Totally. And then I changed it. I had the highest standards for what I was attracted to, which I don't think is bad to say.

And if she could not make me laugh within two lines, I have a great pickup line. And if you can't play back, you're out. Tell it to us. So the pickup line is, listen, I know why you're on here. And I just want you to know that I am excellent husband, material. Love it. Okay. Great. Uh-huh. If you hit me back with ha ha ha, how's your Tuesday going? Nope. You're out, baby. You're out. I'd love this though. We always say like the most important thing for me and Ashley is finding somebody that makes us laugh. If you can't find something creative to respond to that. Exactly. There's a million things you could say. So many different ways you could go. If you can't find too, you know, like it's just you're not for you. Exactly. They're for someone else. Like there's so many people that would not care about that. Yeah. It is, it's that little thing that

You are so diplomatic. You guys are so, on my podcast, we will just be like, fuck that bitch. What's a Tuesday thing? People try to cancel us. Yeah, we're trying to not get canceled.

I don't want to insult horse people. Oh my God. Did you guys, Tuesday person? Do you want to know? Tuesday person? Do you guys even know about horse Twitter? Horse Twitter.

I want to give props to horse Twitter and horse people. So do you remember that like child rapist pedophile that ran for office in Alabama? Roy, remember? Yes, yes. It was huge. He got beat by like a slim margin. Yes.

Roy Moore. Yeah, I think you're right. He was like a fucking like predator and he was running and he was almost got reelected. It was like his track record was nuts. And he would like pride himself on being like, you know, this conservative cowboy type. Like he rode to the polls on his horse and he couldn't really ride it that well.

And horse Twitter went crazy. And they were like, are you on horse Twitter? No, like just it exploded. Hors Twitter became so huge. I became mainstream. I'm coming out as a horse girl. My apartment, you feel safe? What is happening?

I was reading horse Twitter when he was like, all women. They don't know that they're horse girls until they're with me. But like, reading horse Twitter during that time was like,

I have so much respect. For horse Twitter? For these horse people. Like, who's like a major player on the scene? Oh, I don't know if anybody was like famous. Probably my ex-girlfriend. They all descended on this man,

this rapist. not being able to ride a horse, but being like, I'm a horse guy. And his horse hated it. That's where they drew the line. It wasn't pedophilia. It was, he can't ride a horse good. No, it was like they, but the horse people took their opportunity to like slam him even more for something other than being a predator because we were already doing that.

Right, right, right. They were like, Andy can't ride his fucking horse. And I was like, horse Twitter. Okay. I can't play this episode. I don't even know what episode is called horse Twitter. I, I'm really sorry. But I like, I am in the same camp as you of,

I can gauge someone's sense of humor in those first few interactions. Totally. It's not defining them as a person. I know text is weird. I know DMing in an app is weird, but I have tried so many times to be like, it's fine, they might be different in person.

And if they really can't play a little bit, like you can tell if someone has a little bit of the sarcasm, a little bit of that, like up top, you just can. And so every time I've tried to ignore that and go on the date anyway, it's never once worked. So it's so okay to set those, that bar right away. Yeah, especially like, because that's what I figured out worked for me. As soon as I started doing it, my quality of dates

like skyrocketed. And it's way better to go on like a fewer dates with cool people than quality, so many dates with like people with horse girls. And there was a nudes girl also. She was weird. What did she do? She just sent me a nude weeks after I had told her it was not on. weeks. Wait, you ended the relationship, weeks later. I went on one date with her. Just out of the blue, nude. She really, I think she really liked me.

And I was just like, hey, I think you're an interesting person. Not for me romantically. I never ghost. I always send a follow-up, even if it's only been one date. I just like people to know. Good for you. So I was just like, think you're interesting. And she was.

Did you hook up? No. Okay, so you got a nude from somebody you didn't hook up with. Correct. Interesting to me. Weeks later. She messages me, hey, I have this nude that I'm very proud of, essentially. Would you like to see it? Oh, she prefaced it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I was just like, man, this must be a good nude. I haven't talked to you in a really long time. And then she sent it to me because I did not say no.

Okay. I was just going to say what happened was she took this amazing nude. And like she was like and she's passing it around. She was like, I liked this chick three weeks ago. Let me throw this nude against the wall and see if it sticks. Yes, exactly. Maybe I'll change my mind. I do too. Like, I have this amazing nude that no one has seen. I mean, Rain has seen it. But like, it's my favorite picture. And no one's even got to see it.

Okay, Ash, I'm going to send it to you. I had a situation the other day that was so crazy. I was like sexting with this guy a little bit. And he was, we have hooked up. But he was like, he asked me if I wanted to see a dick pick. And I was like, sure. That was nice of him. And he sent me.

That's important. 14 dick picks. Holy fucking shit. Like, he couldn't decide which one was the best. So he just sent the full camera roll. 14. Some of them are in black. He's in a drop box folder.

He was like, take your pick. Some of them were in black and white. I want to know. Can you favorite your favorite? Some of them were in black and white? I will say though. Yeah,

you were sexting with him. And I've hooked up with him before. But like as a woman. She tasted his day. I tasted that check actually sitting right here where we're sitting. Oh, that's so nice. Thank you for telling me about it. I positioned my butt in this crack and just blew him.

Anyways, I'm sorry, Mom. You should be sorry to me. I'm sitting today. he didn't come on the couch he came like in my mouth and on my it's gross my god thank you um my girlfriend right now is allergic to semen and it's the best thing i've ever heard in my entire life she's an actual nut allergy isn't that the best thing that you've ever when she told me this when she told me this i was like i'm in love with you i'm in love with you she sucks a dick she used to get her epipet out and die she would

literally if he comes on her like anywhere she'll break out in a rash and if he if she swallows it, she gets sick. Okay, imagine finding that out for the first time as her. So is semen is so wildly different than our bodily fluids? Apparently. Yeah. I mean, there's sperm in there. Spirm, yeah.

Yeah. Maybe she's sort of sperm. It could be the sperm. She's bisexual, too, which is like such a great insurance policy that, like, I know she's not going to cheat on me with a dude. Not that she would ever do that. She's like literally the best person, but I just love that she isn't that allergy. I can't wait to get back on stage and talk about that.

I can't wait to get back on stage to talk about this. all I want to do is get on stage and talk about this guy. Yeah. Whole comedy routine about him. But I will say, okay, it's different than an unsolicited dick pick because, like, those are so shocking and terrifying, but these I got and I've been masturbating. I have weeks of content. You jerk off to that stuff?

Yeah. Really? I was saying to Ashley, I've been recently watching straight porn a lot, which I have never done in my life. But yeah, I mostly masturbate to like the history of my sex life. Yeah. Like past sexual challenges or lesbian stuff. I love like the starting starting up.

Like I like thinking about meeting someone and like the first time. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. You have a girlfriend now. Yeah. For how long? We've been officially dating for about three months, but we met about six months ago.

Okay. Yeah. Because I was like, why haven't you done the nut allergy bit? I figured it might be new. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I didn't find out about the nut allergy until a little bit in. And then I started writing, but I hadn't.

It's so good. You're so lucky to have such a great bit. that come out of quarantine. I know. So you guys met like right before quarantine. Right before. You've been quarantined together or now? Yeah, we've been quarantining together a little bit. She's, she's from Boston. So she'll like drive. Oh, she lives there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I met her after a show. But she's so cool. And it was just, it was like at the end of the hoe phase, like the end of the year that I met her. And I was like, there's no way. She's so beautiful. She's just so, I'll show you a picture. She's stunned. And I was just like, there's no way I'm going to like her.

Like, look at this picture of her. Is she real? Is this a real person? What? Okay. She looks like a supermodel. Also, I'm sure she's like super cool if she's dating you. She's awesome.

She's like really, really smart and really, really funny and has a nut allergy. She ticks all the boxes. But like, I just didn't think that I would ever. And so I was super cautious. I literally said to her, I was like, I'm not dating. I'm not getting into a relationship. Oh, you were still in kind of the ho phase? Yeah.

But it was just sort of. out of practice. And then I realized that I was like, oh, this is, this is very real. And it's, you know, I think everyone says this, but truly it is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. It's not codependent. It's like awesome. I'm so happy. And like, I'm so glad that I did the ho phase. I don't know if this will work out with her, but, you know, I have no reason to think that it won't. I'm glad you brought a codependent because I wanted to backtrack as you said it before also. And I just wanted to like get your take because I have some feelings on it like what codependence is because it's like a lot of people rely on their partner and what something good happens you want to be around

them with anything bad happens you want to be around them like how like you it's a negative connotation codependence so like how would you differentiate that behavior from just like a normal relationship or you depend on the person all the time yeah I think when you when you feel that you're responsible for the other person's happiness that's like a big that's like a sign because of course relationships should make you happy. But like I found when I was in codependent situations, I felt like I was on the hook for making this person happy. Being emotionally responsible. If I, like, if I let them down, it was, it, letting them down was much easier to do. It could be a relatively simple thing. It's about also like, can you take time apart, I think is really important

and not feel guilty about that. Like for me, it was like a lot of emotional, responsibility, like what you just said. Like, you should not be emotionally, it's such you're right. Like, it's hard to define, but I think when you know it, you know it. Yeah. Well, it's how it's on the other person

being happy within themselves. Totally. That's all it is. It's like those people that are codependent, whether they know it then or not, or they realize it later in life, like Tang Sinatra, who we had on, we talked about this at length,

they are looking to someone else to complete them to make them happy. And I was too. We've all been there. A lot of it is just growth and maturity. But like, it, that's the thing we preach the most on this podcast is be whole on your own.

And if you're in a good relationship, the two of you will be able to have your independent, happy moments. And like, also if you notice yourself building your entire life on the other person and vice versa, that's like also like if you're all friends with the same people or like, you don't have any friends, like your friendships are kind of dying.

while you're in the relationship? You made decisions, like, at your own detriment to make the other person happy that you're not proud of. I do think that love, like, I mean, Ashley and I aren't in a romantic relationship, but I make decisions to compromise with her. I don't think I've given up a ton of things about myself that I would have really wanted to do.

But are you, are the decisions you're making harming you to make the other person happy? Totally. And very often. Because very rarely does it come up that you actually have to make a decision between something in your life and something with your relationship. that should be a very rare event. You know what I mean?

But I mean, if you have kids, that's a whole other ballgame. But if you're talking about early in a relationship, no one should be making giant sacrifices to themselves to, like, sustain the relationship. Yeah. And you always are going to need to lean on your partner. Like, I mean, again, Rayne and I aren't in a romantic relationship, but something happened recently where I just, like, really needed her.

I needed a call her all the time. Like, I just needed, like, really needed her support. And it was like, she was there. but it's, that's not all the time. And, you know, it's like, that's what you do for somebody you love too. But it's like, I still would have been okay on my own. It just was like, I knew that I had support. It wasn't like, if she didn't pick up the phone, I was guilting her.

You know, like it's kind of like, I still would have been okay. Yeah. But we've all experienced those relationships, friendships, romantic, even family, where you feel like if you're not there, the person isn't going to be okay. And it's a lot to carry. It is. I feel like in some of my, especially my long distance relationship,

I feel like I've gotten in trouble for not being on my phone enough. And to me, like, I can't even imagine being that person anymore worried about answering a text from my girlfriend. But I used to be that person where I thought, well, I got to get back to it. You grow up also a little bit. You don't need it as much for your ego. But like my boyfriend in high school, I didn't even think about this that much. Like it was so codependent. He had like a little bit of a drug problem.

And I felt like I'm responsible for person's happiness. if I go away to college, is he going to be okay? And then he started guilting me for like wanting to go so far away for college. And he at that point was like asking me to make decisions that weren't good for me. My parents would never let me do that. But, you know, I think that like, you know, this person, he was so codependent on me. It didn't matter if it meant ruining my life. He was like, you need to stay here.

You can't go to college six hours away. Yeah. And we broke up eventually. But yeah, I think I have a friend like that now that, and she's a lot younger. But I feel like that's what she's. she's dealing with. I think her boyfriend, it's like, I don't know for sure. She's, I don't know her that well, but I had this weird feeling that he's like, he has some emotional issues. He's a lot of anxiety and things like that. But I think he puts it on her and she feels like

she has to stay with him or he won't be okay. I also, like, now that you're saying that, you're like, oh, I don't know how she feels. Like, I would hide so many facts about my relationships from my friends and even from my therapist because I was really hiding them from myself. If you're finding that you're like not willing to talk about aspects of your relationship because you feel ashamed of them or you like kind of know something's wrong, you're, yeah, that's not something to be in. And I do think there's a difference between protecting your partner a little bit.

Like I didn't need to share every, like when my fiance and I broke up, I think people were really shocked. And that's because I didn't feel the need to share things we're going to humiliate him with other people, but I wasn't actively hiding. Oh, I'm sorry. No, not huge, but nice, nice cock. That was rude of me.

That was body shaming. I'm sorry. I'm canceled. It's fine. Mickey Mouse has a tiny penis. I don't know if you guys know that. Absolutely with that voice. I'm so glad you brought up Disney again.

Thank God. Tim. I just, I guess I was like hiding other things that I felt that were like so deep down. And I, because I didn't want to humiliate him. But like, yeah, in retrospect, I'm like, you know, I didn't want to talk about this to people because I was embarrassed. I should have been embarrassed about these things.

I'm hiding them. And that's not good either. Sometimes when you're, especially if you're a lot younger, you don't know really even how you're feeling. Like I think the girl I'm talking about, she might not even realize that she feels guilt and all these things. She just doesn't, the relationship might feel off to her, but she hasn't been able to put it into words and articulated. Yeah. That's something that some friends, maybe friends that are a little more mature or a therapist and stuff kind of have to like drag out of you when you're like, wait a minute, this is what's happening. happening because sometimes you don't even recognize it, especially you've been with somebody for a long time.

Yeah. What kind of stuff are you hiding from your therapist? Do you mind me asking? If you do, we don't... The amount of fighting that was going on, the amount of like how much I felt like I was making sacrifices for the other person. In particular, in my long-distance relationship, I felt like I had to drive the six hours from Boston to Philadelphia to see my girlfriend.

because she was like, like, oh, we're never going to, you have to come down here or I'm like going to die is what it felt like at the time. And in retrospect, it's like, that's so dumb. That was so, why did you? And unhealthy. And unhealthy. And you know what would end up happening? As soon as I like, kind of was like, I'm not doing that. It ended up being fine. You know what I mean? Interesting. You're putting it on yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Both a combination. You're allowing the behavior to happen and you're encouraging it by like giving into it. You know what I mean? I don't know. And sometimes there are people of like, you know, there's so much stuff tied into your inner child and how you were parented.

So a lot of times it's just like having a tantrum. And like, you have to come see me or I'm going to die. And it's like the second you hold your ground and say, no, I'm not doing that. They're like, oh, okay, fine. Yeah, I respect it. It's like the way what you're doing your parents. Yeah. You like beg for something.

You're like screaming and crying and having a tantrum. And your parents are like, no, you're like fine. You're right. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. No, that's exactly. It gives the opportunity to the other person to realize, to not get into the toxic part of the relationship and be the two independent humans that you are.

We train people. They train you and you go back and forth. I think when you're younger, it's just easy to fall into those toxic patterns. I'm curious about your preference and if it led to fighting in any way. Do you have a preference? Like you said, you've never been with a guy. Yeah. Do you care if the women that you date have ever been with men?

Do you want somebody that's bisexual? Do you have no preference? And did like maybe some of that lead to the fighting? I have almost exclusively dated bisexual women. I don't think I've ever seriously dated a gay woman. Okay. Ever. The girls that I go for tend to be very femme and just stereotypically,

like, they're, you know, like those women tend to be bisexual. I don't care. Like, I truly don't care. I'll date straight women. But has it factored in? I want to ask you, I'm going to tell you, I want to qualify for this. I don't want to insult anybody. I asked if it caused fighting because I didn't know if these women were like,

this is my first relationship with a woman. No, I don't know how to do this. I totally get where you're coming from because there was a lot. There was that. There were relationships that had stressful identity things around them. That's like one of the perks of being straight, I think, is that, um, uh, no, no one's, no one's having an identity crisis.

You don't have to navigate the difficult part of meeting someone's parents who don't necessarily love that you're gay, even though they're accepting, you know what I mean? And I have been the first girlfriend to a lot of families. And that is not fun. It's not fun to be the first girlfriend. Oh, my God. Well, I want to talk about this.

Yeah. Have you been the first girlfriend across the board? Pretty much. Pretty much. Yeah. So you're like turning girls. Oh, yeah. I'm a flipper.

I have a problem. Can we talk about this? I'm going to just say, saying that you're a flipper is problematic language, because it implies that the woman that you flipped wasn't bisexual or bi-curious or queer to begin with. That aside, I am a flipper. And I want to say this up top, what I'm about to say is probably going to get me canceled. But I'm going to just plow ahead. Right.

Because I think people know that I have the best intentions. It's pride, say whatever the fuck you want. And also, be proud of being a flipper. I'm the gay one. You're the one who's confused by listening to my voice. So you deal with your shit. I've dealt with mine. also I think that sex

Sorry I think that sex is such a spectrum I'm like I don't think that anybody is 100% straight or a hundred I mean some people might be 100% one way But like I have hooked up with women Yeah I'm not hooking up with women right now I don't identify as a gay person

Right I have enjoyed it and I You can be straight and have sex with women I really believe that Like yes If you're 9010 straight You're straight like whatever If you want to say you're bisexual

Fine cool but doesn't fucking matter. I will have sex with you is the bottom line. But, yeah. So, like, I don't know.

I don't know what happens. What do you think it is? What do you think it is about? I have a theory. Have you thought about what it is about you? I have a theory, but it sounds very arrogant. I'm going to say it anyway.

I think that I exist in, um, a gender presentation space where like I, I'm not masculine, like walking down the street. But if you talk to me, I have a masculine energy. but like I look like a girl, you know what I mean?

Like that that's the wrong way to say it. But like I think people in that space, people find that very interesting and attractive. I would put Timothy Shalameh in that space. He has like a really feminine thing going on and people. Yeah. And I have like a masculine energy. Ruby Rose. Yeah.

I have a feminine look and a masculine energy. That's totally what it is. That's totally what it is. That people are like, what is happening? And then like the comedy thing. Like so. Oh, and yes. And then being insanely talented is also very helpful.

Yeah. And the girl that I'm dating right now is the first girl that I've ever dated who was already out to some of the people in her life when I started dating her. And that was just like such a relief. I was like, oh, great. Like, I don't have to do a whole thing. And like her parents are super cool. And like it just feels like the first time that I'm not like the recipient of some

negative energy that has like really nothing to do with me, you know? So it's like very nice. Have you had like really bad situations? Oh, yeah. The thought of it is like, it's something that I can't relate to. It's so private. Like people's homophobia is very private, I think. People don't realize that.

You used to be very public, right? I was going to say, when we were like in college, I don't know that I knew a ton of people that were like out. Yeah. I think it was fine, but there wasn't, I'm not saying it's ever easy to come out. Like, it's not something that I will ever understand. It's never going to be easy.

But I think there were less representations in media when I was growing up. there was less people. I didn't know anybody who was openly gay in high school. And now I know tons of people there are so many people who are coming out in high school. I have lots of thoughts on how to come out, but make sure that you're safe

and financially stable and you can't get kicked out of your home, blah, blah, blah. But yeah, I was like, I went to a family reunion I went to a family reunion with my ex who had dated for like probably four years at the time and her dad just like didn't talk to me. Like he never, he would not speak to me unless it was like mandated.

like, you know, like he had to talk to me in order for this, like, whatever social thing that was happening in order to continue. Like, his whole family got drunk and I had to drive everyone home. I don't drink. So, but like, no one communicated that to me beforehand. You know what I mean? Like, I just was like, it was, because they were so uncomfortable with me. And they made me their designated driver. Like, pick a lane. Like, come on. Like, but you were invited at the family function. She at least invited you? She invited me. She was like in a constant, I feel so bad for her. She, she was in a constant battle with her. family too. But now she is a new girlfriend and told me that her family is like super accepting.

So a lot of times the first year. The first one can get the brunt. And the end, she is also getting it from her family too, obviously. How did how old were you when you like came out to your parents? Oh, my coming out story is a nightmare. Um, my girlfriend cheated on me with a dude and when was it like, in college. And I was in so much despair that I called my mother. And I was like, Okay, some things to fill you in on. Oh, my God. You know, Jen, um, Jen's actually the name of my current girlfriend, but you know, Jen, uh, well, she's my girlfriend, not my best friend.

Uh, well, my best friend, too. Number two, she just cheated on me. And we're only talking about number two. Right, right, right. Number three, she cheated on me with a man. So, and my mom was just like, okay, a lot to think about. I will, uh, call. you back.

And of course, you always want your parent to be like, I love you no matter what. I think it's awesome that you're gay. Jen's great. Sorry, she cheated on you with a man, probably. I don't know what would have been that Jen sucks. I don't know, actually, that's a complicated one. But I couldn't get that from her because I put too much on her.

I was 20 years old. It was very not smart. And then I had no one to go to about the fact that I had been cheated on. I was so embarrassed. And like with a man like double embarrassed. Like so embarrassing. So humiliating and made me feel bad about myself and my body and like all this shit. And I had no one to talk to about it because I didn't want to tell my friends.

Like I didn't. I just like was so embarrassed. The one person I had was my mom. And yeah, I fucked it up big time. Well, what happened next? I mean, did she come around? So a lot of times people would be like, I can't come out to my parents. My parents will never, ever accept.

accept it. And it does feel that way. And it was very difficult with my mother for about a year. And when I talked to a lot of people, that seems to be like the first threshold, a year to two years of like silent treatment or just we're never going to talk about this again. Like extreme discomfort.

Jen was not allowed in my home anymore. My mom at the time, there was not a lot of talk about gender versus sexuality. I think my mom was really worried that I was actually trans and like didn't really fully understand. But then what happens is over that year to two years, your parents realize that you're the same person. Right. And what your parent is actually doing is if they don't understand, it's not necessarily that they're homophobic. It's just they had this picture of a life of your future that they're totally trying to reimagine. You're flipping their world

upside down and not that that's the right reaction, but knowing that they're from a different generation, they didn't expect this, they're not used to this. To give them the emotional space to process what's going on is the best way to come out. And that's why if you're stable, you can say, hey, I have a hard thing that I need to tell you. If you need time from me to process this, we can have some, I can give you some time, some space. When you're at home, that's a much harder, and you're young, that's a much harder thing to do. But then after that year to two years, my mom was like, oh, Ashley is like the same person. This is exactly the same. She's still probably going to have kids one day. She's probably going to get married one day. I like the people that she's dating,

that they'll come around. I think there's another set of parents, the more, you know, more extreme evangelical Christian types where that can be much harder. But as soon as I think kids come into the equation, when they realize that they're going to miss out on grandkids, miss out on your wedding, that's another, I think that's when the second wave comes in of people who are like, okay, I'm going to resolve my differences so that I can have this kid be a part of my life. I've never heard of anyone, not a single person, and I host a gay sex podcast that has come out to their parents and their parents did not come around. So if you're at home and you're by or whatever, you're gay, your parents will come around. Eventually. I like this message,

by the way, because I've always, I mean, honestly, you changed my mind a little bit because I've always just thought, like, that's so terrible if somebody, like, rejects you immediately if you say that. But, like, you've been dealing with it for probably quite a while that you're gay. They've never even thought that you were gay. maybe. And they're just today now being introduced to this idea. And like, and they think it's a new person. Like, they really feel, they feel lied to, which is crazy and not correct. Yeah. But from their perspective, they feel lied to. That's one thing that my mom said to me that I was like, what? Lied. I was surviving. Yeah. Yeah. But like, that's how complicated it is for them. Yeah. If you're able to separate the deep personal

connection to your mother and the fact, again, they should be just totally cool right off the bat. But if they're not and you're like wondering why, it's not necessarily that they're a deeply homophobic person. They're just a little homophobic. Well, and if you are, if you're a person that thinks you want children, you better ask yourself, is it okay if my kid is gay, trans, whatever? And if the answer is no, you're not supposed to have fucking kids. Like people have kids and they put, I want to applaud. They put this like expectations on their kid. The, reason to have kids is like to let them be happy with whatever they want to live their life. Like there's so many parents out there that just, well, the plan is to have these kids and

following their footsteps. A lot of parents put what they didn't accomplish on their kids to accomplish. So if you think you want to be a parent, yet you can't imagine your future son or daughter being gay, then I don't think you're ready to have children. Or anything. Like, we have no fucking idea what these kids are going to come out as. I was thinking the other day, what if my kid is non-binary? Like, how do I handle that? What's the best way to accept that. But we don't even know. We have no idea what the future of coming out is going to look like. But it's just like the, it's, the more I think about it, I'm like, people have kids to be this like mini version of themselves and what they want to accomplish. And like, why did you assume that

your daughter would be straight and get married at 27 and starting having kids at 30 and you have grandchildren by this age? Like, you never know what's going to happen. So when you have those expectations on the child you brought into the world, you're already fucking yourself for when things don't go as planned. That's so nice that you said that. Thank you for saying that. That was really nice. I feel very validated. Yeah, of course. You can have Ashley. I'll take Helen. We knew we'd just wait you out. That's all we needed. I won. No, but I'm glad we went down that road for anybody that is maybe considering coming out. We, want to play this little segment with you.

Okay. It's brand new. We designed it for you because it's about sex. We came up with it today. Actually, we didn't come up with it. Raina, you'll read the end to go. Thank you. A listener of ours, a lot of our game segments are inspired by listeners. She sent us this great email. Quotes in bed is what she called it. I'm named Kayla. And she suggested this, and she said my boyfriend

said this crazy thing in bed. And she, I'll tell you what it was. And then we asked our listeners to tell us the funniest thing you ever heard in bed. Like in the bedroom with somebody. So the email, I've been dating my boyfriend for two years and he's always been the joking type. The other day he wanted to have sex and I said, no, I'm on my period. I just put a tampon in. Then he says, my dick can be your tampon. I think we should all share one. And the only one that's

coming to mind is I had a similar period experience. I think I said it on the show. This guy that I was dating, the guy that gave my very first orgasm this summer, I was 19. We had just had sex. and I guess he went into the bathroom to clean up and he noticed blood on his dick and he goes, hey, I think you just got your period. I think I knocked it loose. Like he thought it was some like button that you push

like that the blood just start. Like I think I knocked what like opened the trap door for the blood to start. That is so funny. Be dead serious. I think I knocked it loose. Knocked what? I think maybe he thought like the uterine lining.

Like he like, he was not smart. He didn't know that word. but that's what they were taught, you know, like that's, the way he said it even like the in the most redneck way. I was like, I love period sex. Um, I think I'm the, you want me to share a absolutely. I'm trying to think because I think I'm the one that says dumb things in bed. Like, I don't think the women that I've, okay, I have two cats. I'm so sorry. That's the weirdest thing you've said in bed. No. I just know that people have feelings about this and as a, as you're, as a, as a, as a, as a representative of the gay community on your podcast right now.

There are a bunch of straight women listening. I, my apartment is very clean. None of my shit smells like cats. We did a whole thing about how we love cats last week. Okay, great. Bane Coons. Okay.

Bane Coons are awesome, but they're huge. I have two cats. I have two cats. I slept with this girl who was a little younger than I am. And she was like, do you, do you want kids? And I was like, yeah,

but there's so much responsibility. And she goes, well, two cats. two cats equals a kid. And I was like, you're a child. I'm dating a child. This is an actual child. She thought she had like a hot take.

Yeah, yeah. She was like, I'm going to say this thing and knock her off her feet. That was, I don't know if that was in bed, but that's just like something that I heard sex related. Oh, man. Pussy related. Do you have one, Raina? I have one also that was not completely in bed.

It was two hours after being in bed. The weirdest thing anybody ever said to me in bed is not saying anything. Yeah, I'm trying to be. But the weirdest thing he was saying he said to me like two hours after sex, I sent him a photo of my desk and it had a plan B on it. And I said this. I'm like, I'm like, how on my lunch? And he was like, I can't believe like my boys swam that fast. And I was like,

I'm not pregnant. I'm not at the clinic. This is plan B. Guys, this is a man that I don't have any of these quotes. This is, this is men exclusive to men. I'm like really struggling to come. All I can think of is like, that was really great. Communications important. Like that's like the only thing. thing that I can think of. Well, then you're going to love this. I'm going to start to the bottom. Okay. The first one, she's always at the top because we follow her. It is Jenny Jones. It's a friend of

ours. She said someone said to her in bed, whose dick is this? As in like, she's supposed to be like, it's my dick. But she was like, it's yours. Like, she was like, do I say, she literally said I wasn't sure if I was supposed to say it's mine or yours. I wouldn't either. Who's dick is this? And you're like, yours? Wait, does that happen? Do women say, like, You know, like, I know whose pussy is this from the male perspective. Do women say that to men about dicks? This dick is mine or something? I don't know.

I would have the same reaction. Like, if someone was like, who are you with? I'd be like, I don't know you. I love the gender bending, though. Okay. While I was on top, he said I would rather go on a hike. Oh, my God. He said, compliments to the chef after eating my pussy.

Okay. I don't hate it. Honestly, I would enjoy that 100%. He said, let's try and make me come this time. Oh, my God. Can I come on your wall? I like to pretend on Picasso. Then he did before I could answer.

Coming on the wall, I'll never understand it. I had somebody spray paint my wall with Kam once. He just confetti cumbed all over the wall. Barf. That's a thing, men coming on the wall? I just see men are so... I need to listen to your podcast. Like, I've listened to a couple episodes,

but I need to listen more because these are things that I don't know. That was even, I think, the episode with Emma Wilman when we talked about the guy that, like, had to come on the wall. He, like, pulled out, came on a photo his family or something. Yeah, he came on, like, a framed photo. This guy, men just, like, want to spray their come everywhere. Oh, I know. Yeah, a woman's

body in that moment is just a repository, I think. Uh, this guy said, while they're a fucking, do you have siblings? This guy said, is this the best sex you've ever had about three seconds into the worst sex I've ever had? he asked me do you have an IED he meant I you

you're like yeah I'm about to blow your dick up bro put his hands around my head covered my hair and told me how beautiful I'd be bald twice twice I've never heard of a guy having a bald fetish live your true woman I'm a bald fetish this girl's a freak she said I asked a guy to whisper Hail Mary Hems before he climaxed It's some Jesus,

Christ. Catholic school kicked her fucking ass. My God, the guilt. The guilt to whip out a Hail Mary during sex. She made him do it. I love it. This guy took a line that I actually liked, but he made it like work appropriate.

He called me a dirty little hedge fund slot. Oh, wow. Brought her job into it, like hedge fund. She works for a hedge fund. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is my vibe. My best friend once told me that her boyfriend whispered chicken nuggets into her ear

when she was about to come. That would make me come. He yelled, come, baby, come before he came. He was just talking to himself. Oh, my God. Do that. Okay, she says,

I was dating a French guy who would ask each time, are you ready for me to penetrate? Can you guys do a French accent? Are you ready for me? I can't do it. You know, I can do. For me to penetrate.

It's really bad. That's awful. That was not bad. I want to fuck you in the anus. used the word anus, people would be better. I guess he tried. Aw.

Can I come on your glasses? Oh, God, men are the worst. So why are you fucking with your glasses on? No offense, but like I wear glasses. I want to genuinely know if it's because they have access to putting come on the glasses that they ask this or if they are worse.

Like if I could put come on glasses, would that be something that I would try and do? Right. Or am I a better person than that? I don't know. Like, what's the reason? Just so the next day he can be like, dude,

that came in her glasses. Okay, I have a couple different theories about this. I love glasses. Sometimes I do things during sex just so I can masturbate to them later. Like, I don't even care about it in the moment. I just know I'm going to be turned on when I think about it later. Yes. We can end it with this one.

It's full circle. He said, whose pussy is this? I had never had anyone talk dirty to me. So I said, it's mine. Oh, that's so cute. But it's like, you think about it literally. You're like, wait, I don't know.

What's the answer? That's actually adorable. I would act, as a feminist, I love that answer. Like I would, I think I would be more turned on if she were like, it's mine, bitch.

I actually really don't like that line whose pussy is this because I feel like when I answer it, it's not genuine. I don't, I've never, I don't think I've ever experienced it. I have.

And like, guys want you to say like, this is like, you got to like answer it back. Like this pussy is yours. Like you own this pussy. Like you're king. Like, no.

I just, I can't do it. I can't do it in all seriousness. I will say some weird stuff in bed, but like this pussy is yours. It's just like, it doesn't do it for me. Yeah.

Like they want you to answer in a full sentence. It's, you can't just say yours. Like they want you to hear, they want to hear this pussy is yours. Well, I do, I do.

The full sentence thing, I get because I, I, I have dated people who are quieter and I'm louder. And sometimes you don't get answers to your questions. And that's very humiliating. True. To like,

you ask a question for a reason. Even if, I'm going to say this politely because I'm so embarrassed, but like, are you enjoying this right now? Uh-huh. It's always good to get. like more than a mm-hmm you know what i mean like even if you're shy just like just verbalizing one

word is so nice we couldn't agree more um all right well that is it thanks for hanging with us and talking and playing the game um thanks for being our first in-person interview since march this was the best this is the best day in my life oh my god this is the best day in my life you just looked at me like the bars just like so low then obviously this is not the best day of my life. But it's so refreshing to have like a normal day where I did work activities. I love that. You know. Well, thank you for being here. We just loved having you. Um, plug all your things. I'm sure people want to know where to find you, your podcast, or Instagram. I'm, I mean, if you search Ashley Gavin, it should, everything should come up. I'm at Ash Gavs on everything, except TikTok where I'm

at Ash Gavs comedy because I was banned on my other account. What'd you do? They don't love the gays very much. You have to be sneaky. On TikTok? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have, because it's an app with a lot of kids on it. So they have a lot of, um, rules around the content. And it's just easier to violate if you're gay. They also, uh, creators of color have a tough time too. It's not a super great platform, but I'm also the most viral on there. So, uh, please go check it out.

All right. And, uh, my podcast, we're having gay sex. Wherever you listen to podcasts, right? Spotify. Yeah, everywhere. Okay. Um, well, guys. Oh, and Rain is on the first episode.

Oh, ever? Yeah. Oh, it's that new. Yeah. Yeah. It's very new. I reported it in the wintertime. Then Remy Casimir's on it. Hannah Burner. Some other people we've had on the show. Cool. Yeah, you guys, check it out. You know where to find us. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com.

Girls GottaEat Podcast on Instagram. Raina.com. Ash Hess at Instagram. Girls underscore got to eat on Twitter. YouTube.com slash Girls Got to Eat. And if you enjoyed this podcast, leave us a review and a rating on iTunes. And we will see you next week. Thank you guys so much. Bye.