Girls Gotta Eat - What About Their Friends?

Episode Date: April 15, 2018

The Friends are important in any relationship. In this episode we discuss, analyze, and offer advice for it all: 1) You don't like your significant other's friends, 2) They don't like you, 3) Your SO doesn't like your friends, 4) They hate him/her back. We also catch up on Rayna's DM doctor, Ashley's young man friend, and Rayna quizzes Ashley on how kinky she is in the bedroom (the results might surprise you). Follow Girls Gotta Eat on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I can't imagine dating a guy that people just like didn't like because they were like, he just sucks. I mean, I dated somebody like that. That he sucked? The long distance guy. Yeah. He's like all over this episode. You fully said you didn't enjoy his company.

Well, I didn't enjoy his company. We're back. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to Eat Podcast. I just, it's episode nine. That's like my birthday, the ninth. So, fuck it. I'm going to say it. I thought that I was getting made fun of it because I was announcing every single episode.

Every episode you say, welcome back to another episode of Girls' Cutting Eat. I like your consistency. I want people to know what they're listening to every single week. You know, I was thinking about my week and what I was going to say today, and I realized nothing happened to me this week. Like, you remember of a week that somebody could wipe off the books and, like, it wouldn't matter in the grand scheme of your life. It's not one thing or interact. Sorry to all the people I interacted. this week, but if not one interaction I had this week happen.

Like, I caught up on, like, Silicon Valley and, like, old episodes of Westworld. But, like, other than that, nothing happened to me. Well, to me, it looks like you picked up a new rap career because you were in your recording in my apartment, in a full-length fur jacket and your hat, all white. Like, what the fuck? Do you have, like, a P. Diddy video after this shoot to go to? It's not even golden. here.

Yes, I have a side career as a backup dancer. I'm afraid as a rapper now. Well, what's going on with the doctor? I forgot about that. Oh, my God. You can't, we can't build up a date and you just let it drop off. I'm not going to lie, he DM me after he heard this episode. This is so annoying.

And he lists the episode, he still wants to date you. What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't know. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it this. All right, I'm going to DM him live while this is happening and tell him I will go out with him. annoyed with you. Do you remember when I tried to fire you at the beginning of this now I'm getting fired? Yeah. And I was like, I got to get fucked. Quick. Well, you have a little date sitch tomorrow night.

I do. Yeah, it's still with a 24-year-old, if you've been keeping up. Name unknown. Name unknown. And yeah, last week I felt like I was kind of like, it's just a flangma. And I feel like I've had a little bit of a change of heart. I don't know. I mean, listen, he likes me. He's consistent. It's important. We have a great chemistry. So we, I noticed the night we met, if you guys ever listened, I just approached him in a bar. And it was my friend was DJing at this bar. So tomorrow night, he's DJing again. And I got the invite via Facebook and sent it to him was like, uh-oh. And I mean, now he like his plan to full date. It's really cute. He seems really excited about it. Like, he's just got good follow through. And that's just always a plus. That is a man that knows how to act right.

Okay. And he doesn't like try to have that like, what are we? I'm so into an obsess you conversation. Instead of like saying a bunch of bullshit, he actually just like acts right, plan some stuff. Yeah. And it's like, he's like, okay, let's go to dinner first, like next to the bar. I'm like, cutie. Cudy.

Angel. But yeah, that's. So yeah. He's back in. He's back. He's back. All right. Back and black.

I've still never gone out with a black guy before. Okay, well, here's a call for the doctor came through, so. I think, okay. Smoking hot 27-year-old black guys hit us up. Is this still loud? All right, well, that's all I have about our life. You guys, next week, this bitch is going to have a day with the doctor. She will have either gone on it or it will be on the books.

I promise you. Snap. Love when you get all like South ghetto on me. Well, this week's episode is brought to you. Oh, we kept this intro under five minutes. We're killing it. It's killing it. Anyway, we love your listener emails.

And so this week's episode is brought to you by a listener that emailed in and said that she hates her boyfriend's friends. I hates them. And she's really curious what to do, how to move forward with this. I had some pretty strong feelings about self-reflection in this situation. But I'm boyfriend reflection. I'm boyfriend reflection. So I thought it was a really cool thing to dive into. And at first we were like, you know, what do we say about this?

But let me start out with. Have you ever had a relationship where you hated the person's friends? You know, I would say 95% of the time I've had great experience. Like, I've liked 95% of all my ex's friends. Like, I can think of one ex's close friend that I just wasn't crazy about. I just felt like he, I don't know, just didn't have a lot going on. I felt like whenever they were together, they were just kind of like, nothing productive happened.

You know, he just wasn't a really productive person. I wasn't really crazy about him. always drunk or hungover, you know, just that kind of guy, unreliable. But all my, all that exes, other friends were great. So that was just like the outlier. And no, but I was, I really was thinking back and I just have had really positive experiences with this. And like, I will tell you, like, nothing like turns me on or warms my heart more than like really getting along with a boyfriend's friends and vice versa. Like, I love it. It's, I just, I just love to bring people together. Like, you know, when you see your, like, friends getting along with your boyfriend or you're,

you're meshing with his friends. It's like so nice. It is so nice. And you should, the great thing about being in a relationship is it expands your circle. So, you know, you get to meet new people, having to experience it. Bad thing when you break up. What makes that circle smaller. But how about you?

What's your big? Yeah. I'm on the same page. I mean, maybe like an outlier or two, but I can't say I've ever dated somebody. Maybe in college where, like, I dislike the person's friends. and we can sort of get into my take on that. But I think a lot of times if you dislike somebody's friends, it's because they are not being told to be nice to you by somebody.

And somebody's indicating to them. Well, and I love your take on this that we discussed previously. Like, ultimately, why? Is it like they don't like you? Or is it, what is it? Are they just all fuck boys? Are they all just lazy stoners? Or, I mean, you know, that kind of thing.

Right. So today we're going to talk about if you hate your boyfriend's friends, if they hate you. If your boyfriend hates your friends and your friends hate your boyfriend. If your friends hate your boyfriend or you hate your friend's boyfriend, that's a lot. Wow, we've thrown a lot of worry down. First, first. Let's tackle first part.

The first part, if you don't like your significant, you know, guys listen to this too. I don't know. Significant other. Yeah. If you don't like your significant other friends. We obviously, we can only speak on it from a female's point of view. So, yeah, if you don't like your significant others friends. I think first thing you should do is evaluate why do you like them.

Are they terrible people? Like you said, they sit around and are they all lazy? Are they all pieces of shit? Or are you just sort of like not super aligned with their political beliefs or something? Or they do something annoying, whatever. Yeah, you know, and we didn't even really think this isn't even in our outline. But that's, politics shook things up for sure. So I would say in those situations, though, that is still a difference between somebody

that is not a nice person versus somebody that you don't agree with their beliefs. And so what I would say in these situations is where you hate the person's friends is only really be around these people during activities. So it really is important to like show your significant to like show your significant other that you care to be around the people in their life. But maybe plan activities where you're going to not be sitting around in somebody's apartment drinking. Getting drunk and bringing up politics. Right. Yeah. Like get baseball tickets, get concert tickets.

Do things with the person's friends. Because ultimately it's really important at the end of the day to be a participant in the person's life. and you can't do that if you really hate the friends. Yes. And I think people are an extension of their friends. So I think that when people meet my friends, they're like, oh, I get it. They're all like Ashley. Or like, you know, we're all different in our own ways.

But you get it. You meet my friends. You get it. You know, I can't, everybody I've dated has always liked my friends. And that's the thing. Like maybe you have to assess those qualities that you don't like about the friends and really wonder if those are the qualities you see in a. guy. I'm just going to say, I mean, if there's rarely a big group of guys and everyone's a fuck

boy besides one, you know, like, maybe you're just blinded by your infatuation or love for this person and you're really not seeing those qualities that ultimately exist in all the friends that you don't like. I'm an interesting story and I want your take on this. And it's like when your hatred for the person sort of like crosses the line, here's, here's, I'll tell you the story. I have two really good guy friends and they were living together. And both of them in a relationship, one of them was continuously cheating on the girlfriend. So just a revolving door

of girls through the door that he was cheating on her with. The guy who was faithful to his girlfriend, that girlfriend really was incredibly uncomfortable. And she hated this guy, obviously, because I mean, she doesn't, why would you want your boyfriend hanging out of her?

Living with a person that is just so flagrantly cheating. No, it's fragrantly now on this podcast, bitch. She insisted that he moved out of the apartment. And I think that it depends on what your relationship is like with your boyfriend. Are you a jealous person? Are you a little nuts?

Are you a little too sensitive? I would say I know her. And she was a pretty even keeled, nice, smart girl. They're actually engaged now and getting married. Okay. Oh, good. I'm glad. I was hoping for the happy ending here.

Yeah, she's great. But she really was just like, I can't have you living with this person. Like, they'd been together, I think, at this point, for a year and a half or two years. I think it was perfectly fine and relevant for her to say. say like enough is enough. Right. It was horrible for her when this other guy would have his girlfriend around and she'd have to like lie and pretend.

Yeah. Oh, gross. Wait, let me ask you this. Was it more like, I want you to move out or like I want you to end this friendship? I want you to move out. And to be honest, the two of them are not as close as they were because it was horrible. I mean, he didn't want to see his friend acting like that either. Like, he thinks his friend is a shitty person.

It definitely damaged their relationship also, as it should. Like, if you see your friend just like being a whole, horrible person. Don't be out here, like, doing this shit. Like, yeah. I don't know. Maybe when you're like 19 or 20, you act like an asshole, but these were like grown-ass men in their late 20s. I dealt with a kind of similar situation. A guy that I dated had a pretty serious relationship with. His best, best friend had cheated on his girlfriend that he ended up proposing to and they're married down. She doesn't know. She never knew. So, and I knew that. And so it made me look at him a little bit differently. Again, the guy was always super

nice to me. Not just like some disgusting cheater of a guy, but still did that. And it always made me question my boyfriend just a tad. You know, like, do you think this is okay? Have you called him out on this? What is your take on this? And I would like to say that probably in that case, I hope, and in the case of your friend, doesn't mean because your best friend's a cheater that you are. You know, but I would say if it's like all the friends are these terrible fuck boys, I would question it. But that's a really interesting situation. I'm glad it worked out for them. That sounds like that was a good guy where he was like, no, you're right. Right. He didn't want to be around it either. He was like, why would I want to look at your girlfriend in the face after

you do stuff like this? So I think that that's a good, like, differentiator is, is it one friend that's an ally or is it all the friends? If all the friends are a problem, I would really evaluate, like, is this person a very nice person? Because I'm just like you. Like, I think that you meet most of my friends, if not all of them, and think, like, oh, these are like really cool, fun people. Like, there's nobody that I would say is like egregiously terrible in any way. Like, you meet them. They're extensions of me. Yeah. Don't be out here having shitty friends. Don't be out here having shitty friends. Friends are all boss, bitches.

So I'm going to tell you the second part of this listener email that we got and it will segue us into the other side of the topic. So she said, rolling this train right along. She said, his friends hate me too. Jeez, that sounds like a nightmare. Well, she didn't use the word hate. She said they always try to egg him on to cheat on me. That's what she said.

Jeez. So the other. what the other side of this coin is, you know, what do you do when the friends don't like you? And my initial reaction is not necessarily to blame somebody, but like, be, you need to self-evaluate what you have done to make a group of adult otherwise totally mature people who can act nicely to anybody dislike you. Well, I guess first thing would be like have a sit down and have a calm, rational conversation about it and see what he comes out with.

The boyfriend? Yeah, like, hey, I just really don't feel like your friends. are big fans of me. Can we talk about this? Is there anything I can do? You know, put it back on you. Like, instead of like, your friends hate me. Fuck them all. Like, hey, is there anything I did? Is there anything I should know? Like, what's going on here? And let's be really, we want to, let's be really quick in both of these topics. We're going to talk about this in another episode. We're going to make it a full episode. Friends of the opposite sex. That's one thing to question to you, your boyfriend's friends that are girls. Right. Are you jealous? That's a whole other thing.

Right. And that's evaluating like why you don't like somebody. And I, the guy I talked about last week, who I slept with three hours after I met him. It can work. Ladies. We have a long-distance relationship, and I don't know if I mentioned that, but he had a lot of friends that were girls and a lot of friends that he'd been friends with for a decade before meeting me. And you have to just remember that, like, if that person was going to date that girl,

he would have done it by now. And you can torture yourself all day long, but, like, nothing comes true quicker. Nothing is a more self-fulfilling prophecy than heckling your boyfriend about the girl he's friends with, because then you'll end up like Tom and Kristen and Ariana. Do you know that reference? Tom and Kristen and Ariana. Is this some Bravo bullshit?

Yes, it's from Vanderpump Rules. I don't know how we're friends. I have entire friendship based on Bravo reality shows. I guess I just have a higher threshold of quality program. Yeah, you're a real Mensa member over there, Ash. I do watch one show on Bravo. Southern Charm, what's up? Anyways, I think that that's a totally separate.

topic, if it's friends of the opposite sex, and that can make you a little crazy, but it can also be an incredibly fast self-fulfilling prophecy. So, yeah, this is kind of cut and dry to me. If you have done nothing wrong, if you guys haven't fought in public, if you haven't all these things, and all his friends just don't like you, I mean, maybe you just suck. But, like, he's saying stuff behind your back. He could be saying, or you could just suck, though. You know, a guy sometimes date, like, terrible girls.

Yeah. And you're like, no. They do. They do. But you have to think about like... But we don't have shitty girls that listen to this podcast. You guys are all amazing.

If you like this, you're awesome. None of those girls are listening to this. Right. Okay. So you're awesome. It's his problem. End of story. Yeah, but I have to say like when I think back to like my guy friends,

the dated girls that I didn't like, they might have been like a little more quiet or there was things I didn't like. But the reasons, a lot of the reasons I didn't like them was because their boyfriends were telling me things about them. They were incredibly unflattering that I would never have known. So, right. Is you a significant other facilitating a situation for his friends to dislike you behind your back? And I can't imagine why an otherwise rational human being couldn't just be nice to you for a few hours here and there,

unless they're being communicated to that they don't have to be. Look, I'm going to put this out there. I don't know that it's good advice. Take it with a grain of salt. You can always get into that maybe situation where there's drinks, flowing, and pull one of them aside. Like when they're really kind of... And be like, why don't you like me? No, just when they're real drunk and be like, hey, are we cool?

Like, did anything? Did I, you know, get it out of them then? Oh, I would hate it if somebody's... But I'm talking about when they're sloppy drunk and they like don't know what they're saying, but they will tell you. You know what I mean? Like that sloppy drunk friend, you're like, hey, Bill, what's deal? Are we cool? And you just like, word vomits all of it.

And you're like, now I know. You go back to that ammunition. You don't drink all night long. Someone's going to do this and be like, fuck you, Ash. Worst night of my life. Let me give you a piece of advice. There is nothing better than having your boyfriend's friends aligned with you. You want these people to like your side.

You know, like if you are in a fight with this person, you want the friends to not sit there and be like, she's so nuts or she is so unpleasant to be with. I would make a real effort to be friendly with somebody's friends. And if you really don't like them, if you really feel like I can't be in an enclosed space with this person because they're a Trump supporter, then, like, go to a movie or go to a sports event,

but, like, selfishly, like, I want to know that, like, when I'm in a fight with my boyfriend, that they're friends behind my back are taking my back. Well, yeah, they're like, dude, don't fuck this up. I mean, that's ultimately what you want. Right. In every situation I've ever had, have walked away from every relationship I've ever had,

friends with their friends. Like, I've always become friends with people's, and especially if your boyfriend has a bunch of girlfriends, make those bitches your best friends. I know. And one of my exes is like, I loved all those girls. We still, some of us still chat. We'll like, you know, DM and text here and there. They're great girls. Like, I miss you all. Like, you know those memes? It's like, miss you fans. Miss you fam. I miss those memes, like the friends you make in the bathroom when you're drunk. You're like, I miss you all. They're always named Ashley.

You always meet a drunk Ashley in the bathroom. You're like, I mean, I have told girls to, like, leave their boyfriends in the bathroom drunk. Like, you really. When you're standing in line for at least 10 minutes, like, you're best fucking friends. Oh, yeah. He's doing what? Okay, show me the text message. We're going to write back together. I literally analyze this girl's text in line at, I think, Los Felice, like, a couple

weeks ago. I was like, so shout out to her if you're listening. Don't remember your name, but I miss you. You're going to be my bridesmaid. Okay, are we moving on? The only thing I wanted to add, I were going to talk about this at some point, but when you become friends with your ex-exam. his friend, with your, with your significant of other's friends, like, you break up.

And then you break up or like, I had a weird situation where I was dating a guy who I was so obsessed with, like, crazy obsessed, but we weren't like in a serious relationship at all. I met a bunch of his friends and we went out one night and I became friends with a girl that he's friends with. And the next time her and I, like, went out by ourselves. And she said, you seem really great and nice, you can't date this guy. Wow. She was like, he is a bad dude.

I've been friends with him for 12 years. Oh my gosh. He's a great friend. Great friend. But you cannot date this dude. Did you take the advice? Did you heed the advice? Who the fuck heeds that advice?

I kept dating. I dated him harder. And it got worse. Yeah, it got worse. Everything else was right. Of course, we were always right. If somebody says that to you, of course, you're immediate in initial reaction. Why is this person telling me this?

Is she in love with him? But she's married and she doesn't live here. Exactly. That would be the first reaction. But yeah, if she is no dog in that fight, like, no, please. You seem nice. Please don't do this. Yeah.

She was like, he's a huge liar. Oh, geez. Sometimes, you know, you do become friends with your significant other's friends. And then you date one of them later like I did. So it's got to be. The jackets coming off. Taking out the puppy coat. No, I know.

That did happen to me. I had my moral compass was a little looser back then. But yeah. I mean, we'd been broken up. He had moved on, but then I did date one of his, like, good friends. Did he know? Did the original boyfriend know? He did not know.

I think that would have crushed him. That was huge dick move on the friend's part. That was fucked up. You don't think it was sort of a dick move on your part? Yeah, but like I made the decision to like, we were done. I'm going to date this guy now. I don't think that I would have done that today, but real fucked up by the friend. I mean, I don't even know how to give people advice about that.

Like that is that. Look, you meet people who you already know. Yeah. You meet people through other people and through friends. It's not the craziest thing. the world to be attracted to a person and I guess assume that like they're they're going to have friends that you could also be attracted to. I mean, thankfully it didn't get to the point where you had to like share that information with him. I agree. It did. It did because I was kind of like,

are you going to tell him? Like I was really into him. I'm glad to. Like, I think it would have really hurt his feelings. Okay. Let's flip the coin. Yes. You hate your friend's significant other. Oh, God. Have you been there? Okay. I have I have had, I have disliked. I can't think of a situation. Also, let's, I'm referring to like my inner circle best friends. You know, we both have a ton of friends. I'm talking about the close friends here. Yeah, of course. I'm not sure I like everybody a significant other, but it doesn't really matter. It's those best friends that you're, you talk to almost every day. I have been lucky to not really have a situation again, because my friends are great, where I like despised with a passion,

their significant other. I, I, I, I do have a friend. I'm not, I'm just not crazy about him. He has heard her in the past, which I think just doesn't sit well with me, but they are in a solid relationship now. Yeah, but we're cool, you know, like, I hung out with him. He's, he's great to me. We're really friendly. And that's what you should do as an adult, you know, and I, there's a, there's a total line. There's like, did this person, did they just have a messy on and off, volatile relationship, like, personally, I had that? Or did, like, he cheat on her?

did he, even worse, abuse her in some way? That's different. That's a little more like, abuse, absolutely not. Like, I don't even know what to do with that and I don't really, I can't really speak on it. But the cheating thing is tough. The cheating thing is like, it's tough to like hang out with that guy and look him in the face and just be like, I fucking hate you, you know? But it's like, you kind of need to just go with what your friend has decided. Like, you're on her team. Like, it's not really your place. It's not about you. It's like they've decided. to forgive. It's like you kind of need to do two, too. You don't need to, you can make it clear. You don't really want to be around him, but I think you just need to be mature about it and realize

it's not about you. Right. It's really, it's none of your business, honestly, at the end of the day, who somebody goes to sleep with. And I think that you really need to differentiate. See, this is the trap a lot of people fall into is when somebody is, somebody's talking to you about their relationship, really evaluate, are they complaining to you or are they asking for advice? Because most people are not asking for your advice. Most people just want to vent to you and tell you what's going on. And it's really none of your fucking business. Even if they're telling you to give an opinion.

Right. And I don't know if you feel differently. Every friendship is different. Some people would say like you're being a bad friend. If you don't give an opinion about it, it depends on what the thing is, right? So it was just things that you might not like about the person versus cheating, drug abuse, physical abuse. Right. That kind of stuff, yes, you should step in.

I mean, any kind of abuse, I would at least try to make my feelings known. But cheating? It's like, my take is if you cheat on somebody, let's just say you're the guy for, because this is how we, you know, the roles that we play as females, if a guy cheats on a girl and he gets her back and she tries and tries and tries and she finally gets back with him. I think he needs to be the one to get the friends back on his side. Yeah. I mean, it's really uncomfortable. Just honestly admitting to getting back to somebody together with somebody that cheats on you. Everybody has different feelings about it, but there is.

I don't know that there should be, but, you know, most people express that there's some level of shame or embarrassment in that. And I think that it's definitely on the boyfriend to do the sort of apology tour, you know. Apology tour in 2018. But it would be tough. It would be tough if, you know, Kate, my best friend Kate, like I love her husband. Thankfully, I can't imagine her being with, she's always dated guys that I liked and vice versa. But that's somebody that, God, it would be so tough if he had just, like, cheated on her, you know, and done all this terrible shit to her. I used her as an example because she was the one that just saw that I told everything to and confided everything in in my past relationship, past long term relationship that ended messy.

She knew every single thing. Like so yeah, I think it wasn't ideal for her to spend time with him because she's like, I've seen my best friend cry so much. You know, like I've seen her so upset. I've seen her like out of her mind and crying and screaming and like, you did that. So, but she still pulled it together. I mean, we could still be in social situations. And I think that's great. I think that's what you're supposed to do as an adult.

Because again, he never hit me, never cheated me. It was like just, we had a volatile relationship. Well, that's the gray area. And like, that's when, like, your maturity as an adult has to come in. Like, that thing in between that you're describing is probably what most people fall into that category when you hate a friend to say of any other is that, you know, you just see the person constantly display behavior that you wouldn't want. And then you're like, you know what?

I've like picked this girl up off the floor too many times. I'm tired of it too. Right. But I want to talk about this. We talked to this before. It's kind of who you share things with. I know that's a friend. She's my best friend for one, but very little judgment.

She has someone I can share everything with. I have a couple of friends, a little sassier, you know, that I don't know. I wouldn't share a bunch of bad stuff with them because they might save them into his face. You know, it's just, I think you have to decide, have a game plan of like when you're going through these fights and going through these things we're so different together, who you're going to tell, and it should not be every fucking person. I know it's tough and you want to talk about it, but, like, you need to be careful because if you get back together, you make up, like, then you've got to go back and tell all of them. You know, you're, like, turning people against this person that you might end up being back with

or fucking marrying. Right. So have those people, figure it out, figure out how you're going to do that. Well, you know, I'm in, like, the camp of, like, I really try to keep this stuff to myself and, like, I don't want to embarrass the person I'm with, especially because you do. You put every single person in a situation where, like, you've had a billion fights and gotten back together with the person. Now we've just got to fucking hang out with them. Right.

Like, it's embarrassing for that person. It's embarrassing for you. Embarrassment all around. It's not good. And honestly, like, I don't, I don't know, when you are that best friend that is being told stuff to all the time, though, like, in like, in like the situation like you were you in where it was just constant fights. He wasn't, like beating you up or cheating on you. It was just like one episode after the next of like something. As a friend, it's sort of, I mean, you know, it's kind of sickening to listen to after a while because somebody like stays with the person. You know they're going to stay with them anyways.

Yeah. And it's these huge outpouring of like emotion. And I think it is okay. I will green light somebody to go ahead and just say like, hey, this is happening a lot. And like we're talking about this lot and I want to be there for you and I want to love you. But like this is a lot for me to deal with too. Like maybe self-evaluate.

You can't just be like a sounding board forever. Yeah. Well, it's funny that you said that because I, when it was finally over, like I've way longer after it should have been, I like sent Kate a card with like, Thank you for putting up with this for, and I said the amount of months, I'm not going to say it because it's fucking amoritifying. Thank you for putting up with this for this many months. I can't, like, I'm so lucky to have you. Because she did.

And whatever, she didn't let it affect her day to day. She can compartmentalize. She was there for me, though, every step of the way. So, um, thanks Kate. Thanks for being such a good friend. I also hate when you have other friends. I know. Every time you say her name, it's like a chatter to the heart.

You and Kate can never meet. She was here like two weekends ago and I didn't leave the house the whole weekend. I was scared I might run into them on the street. Have you had the situation? Where you didn't like a really good friend's significant other? Yeah. I mean, I had that like in the gray area situation where like every fucking day it was like another story about him just like nothing terrible.

Just like he just never showed up for her in any way. He let her down constantly. He broke plans there all the time. He just said things that were super unsupported. They'd have crazy fights that were just totally nuts. He just, I don't know, he was just like a loser and an asshole. And or did they break up? Yeah, after like years and years of being together, they broke up.

But like, I don't want to listen to stuff anymore, to be honest. I don't want to listen to it. It was like too much. But, you know, you love your friend and you just do it. It's like five minutes out of your day. And I think the hard part is when you finally, when they finally break up, all you want to do is be like, I hated that person so much. They're the fucking worst person in the whole world. And then they get back together. Well, that happened to me. I mentioned a friend.

Her boyfriend just, they had a long run of not being good. And I mean, I have screamed, I fucking hate it. And like, they're back together. They might get married. And she's, she gets it. She's like, you just loved me. You know, like, she's not going to hold that against me. She's not going to be like, well, I remember when you said you hated this guy. Like, no, she's like, he wasn't a great boyfriend. I mean, then he is now. I think he actually has really changed. So it's nice that she doesn't, she's not looking at me any differently. We're just as close as we ever were, even though I've screamed.

I fucking hate him. Well, that's a secure ass girl that knows that like everything you did was from a place of love. Yeah. And, you know, some people don't like that. I really don't like, even after a breakup, even if I've gone through a horrible breakup, I really don't like people saying to me, I hated him. He was a bad guy. Because honestly, it does feel like a reflection on me.

And I did, like, I dated somebody for three years and we broke up in the most spectacularly horrific way. Like, there's nobody that knew us together could ever speak or be around this person or be in the same room again after what he did to me. But I was still with him for three years and it was still a good relationship for three years. And I don't like when people say bad things about him because all I hear is that it's a reflection on me. Right. Well, and let's be clear. I'm never going to be that person that's like, surprise, I hated him. Like, you would have known.

I'm not like what where were you guys where like that's the worst like when people come out of the wood of we hated him oh for real why didn't you tell me that we were fucking dating you know no one will ever say that about me they're like no actually had clear hatred for him actually is a very clear and straightforward friend well what about your friends hate your significant other I think well there's two it's twofold because and then I'll let you talk dominating it's do they hate his personality or they hate him because of what he did to you. And those are two very different things. And at the end of the day, like one of my ex is that people, like, that we always broke up and got back together that people knew a lot of stuff about. Everyone still really liked him because he was

really a good, like a fun, charismatic guy. So it was easier for people to be around him for sure. They're like, yeah, of course I want to be around him. He's fucking awesome. But I mean, I can't imagine dating a guy that people just like didn't like because they were like, he just sucks. I mean, I dated somebody like that. That he sucked? The long distance guy. Yeah. He's like all over this episode.

You fully said you didn't enjoy his company. Well, I didn't enjoy his company, but I think that your friends always have a clearer view of things than you do. And, yes, it depends why they don't like the person. My friends just weren't particularly crazy about him because I don't know. I don't think he was particularly crazy. about them. Like, I think that he just didn't like to be a brown, a bunch of, like, I don't know, smart, dynamic, interesting. I don't know where I was going with this, because my friends are amazing. I really can't understand why he wouldn't like them. But your friends can see things better

than you can. And if all of your friends hate a person, that doesn't mean you're going to leave them. Like, I'm definitely dating people when I was much younger. I think this is sort of like a younger thing. But like, when I was younger, my friends didn't like a guy. And like, that was a bad guy. Right. And that's the thing. Again, it's all about why. And I think that sometimes it can take time. I have a good guy friend that is in his later 30s and his girlfriend is younger, significantly younger. He's just in a different place than all her girlfriends. You know, like, he doesn't want to be around all those people. And he's just, they're just, they work really well. They're great, but their friends just aren't the perfect match, really.

But they have been dating long enough that it's great now. You know, it just took a little bit of time. So I think that too. Like if sometimes it's not an immediate match, everybody doesn't love each other. And it's, you know, that's amazing if that happens. And that's happened to both of us, I feel. And that's really incredible. But if sometimes it can just take time. And it can be friends being like, I didn't really immediate like this guy, but he's around for the long haul.

So we're going to choose to like him now, you know. So I think sometimes I have seen it just giving people hope. You know, I've seen it work that it wasn't an immediate friend love fest. Well, that's a good point, though, like especially the big age difference. I can see an older guy not wanting to hang out with a bunch of like giggling, silly girls. I have another good guy friend that that's the case. It's like, she's just this really mature, cool chick and they have a great bond. But yeah, he's like, she's like 24.

He's like, I don't want to hang out with her 24-year-old friends. I'm like, I get it. Yeah. No, no, I totally get that. Yeah, I just think, I don't know, that's all I have to say on this topic. Rain is done. Oh, she's checking her phone. You better be DMing that doctor at this point.

No, but I think we covered it. I mean, it's just, again, things are situational. There's lines everywhere. Is it over the line? Is it manageable? What are the reasons behind all of it? It's a lot about self-assessment, partner assessment, and being an adult. And in short, I say this to someone probably every day.

It's not about you. So if you don't really like the significant other your friend is dating, guess what? You're not to date them. Right. It's really none of your business. It's not about you. Like you feel personally victimized by that. Like, raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by your friend's boyfriend.

You know, like, Mean Girls singer. You can't go a day without quoting Mean Girls. Okay, what should we do? Do you want to take a quiz? What, like, how well do you know Mean Girls? I'll fucking crush. Yeah, let's take a quiz. Okay, I found a new kind of quiz for you because I really felt like last week's was a little tame.

But we really are dying for these like old ass, like 60s and 70s Cosmo Quiz. I mean, I don't know how we'd get our hands on them. They're definitely not on the internet. But, like, if you find any old ones, even the 80s, 90s, like, if you have those, scan it and send it to us. I'll Venmo you, like, a dollar. I want to see them. I know they're going to be so funny. Well, I want to kick it up a notch a little bit.

Okay, let's do it. Because I feel like... Spice it up. I feel like we really shine when we're being really disgusting. I know. Disgusting. Let's be real. So today, you're going to take a quiz called, what kind of kinky are you?

I'm like, what are the options? Um, okay. Let's kick it off with what is a must-have bedroom accessory? God, there's so many answers. I'm feeling nervous. Yeah, I must-have bedroom accessories. Flavored lube. A cock ring.

Porn. A vibrator. Laundrae and handcuffs. As if I wouldn't have every single one of these things. Well, yeah, this is like what? To use someone else or to use, I mean, clearly a vibrator is a must- stab in the bedroom. I am a big fan of the cockering. You are? Cockering on there. What do you do? Okay, I'm going to ask you a question and you can't judge me. What do you do with it?

Like, how does it work? Oh, because it like vibrates on your clit. At the bottom, you put it on the shaft of their penis. And does it really work? Yeah. But like, it's not for every time, but what a battery operated toy can do to your clitoris. A person just can't do. So I'm sorry. So if you get to have like penetration and that, it's like, oh my God. I mean, I dated a guy. I'm so hard he's thinking about it. I know, I dated a guy that we would like, we literally went like cockering shopping after brunch. It was like the best Sunday. Oh my God. Be with that guy. No. Okay. I'm assuming this is with other people. So are you going cockering? I'm going Cochering if it's other people. Great. Moving on. Choose a safe word. Oh my God. Have you ever

had to shoot a safe word? I haven't had to do a safe word. I mean, I've joked around about it. I have had to choose a safe word. What was it? It was stop. I don't understand what people are like, I don't want people like crazy as words. Like Tom Selleck, no, just I just tell people to stop when I want them to stop. Okay. Oklahoma. Macaroni. What was what you're just like railing you in the ass? You're like macarotin. Suda fed, lactose, and my personal favorite, Jubanji. Jumachi?

What if you were like Jumachi? I'm going to add one into the mix. It's Beetle juice. Three times. Gotta be macaroni. Really? Yeah. All right.

But I'm just hungry. Where is the best place to have sex? And I just want you to see that this is illustrated with two dudes clearly. Oh, what I'm mounting the other dude from behind. Wait, is this just a gay quiz? I don't know, but I'm into what they're putting out there. Yeah, I like that. Where is the best place to have sex?

In a bed on the beach. Get the fuck out of here. Let's stop acting like beaches. You want sand in your pussy? No, no, I don't. That sounds good. I don't. And then like, if you're too close to the water, like splashes up in your face,

Like what, get the fuck out of here. God, no. In the shower, well, you already know what I'm doing like about having sex in the shower. In the kitchen. In a pool. Yeah, because we're all out of here trying to get UTIs. What is this like the how to get a UTI? Directory.

On a sofa. I think soas are just for blow jobs. I'm not a big fan. No, what is? I don't want to come on my sofa. That's where you swallow it. Bought this in my own? They shoot in your mouth and you just spit it on the question.

I've had sex on a sofa. You have to have the right position. That's what I'm saying. I don't want any, like, risk of, like, come on my sofa. Right. You both have to be sitting up. Otherwise, it's, like, very awkward. This is a weird question.

It's, like, duh, bed of all those. But I love some kitchen sex. I had sex on that counter right there a couple weeks ago. Okay, let me ask you. Here's a question. A co-wrack knocked over. Maybe it's because I'm too sure. Okay, when you are sitting on a counter.

It's not. It's hard. I haven't had sex. Like, I'm talking like you're bent over the counter. Yeah, you're bent. over. Like, every single movie of all time has lied to us. Like, the girl is sitting on the counter getting railed.

And it's like, do you know how hard it would be to get a penis into your vagina from that position? Yeah, unless the guy's like six, nine. Right. And has a 30-foot cock. Yeah. Every movie of all time, they're sitting on the counter having sex. Do you know how hard it would be for me to get a penis inside of me from that angle? You're like, I can sit in this rocking chair.

Okay. Whatever bed. Yeah. Choose a passionate Disney kiss. Ooh. It's all illustrated with photos, but. Okay. Yeah.

Oh, God, I feel like I know already. Ariel and Eric. Tiana and Avine, I don't know if that is, Jasmine and Aladdin, Hercules and Megara, Jane and Tarzan. It's a hundred percent. Hercules. Oh, my God. I can't decide between Ariel and Eric or Jasmine.

Definitely Ariel. That kiss was hot. I remember when I saw a little mermaid, like I was a kid, I felt a little tingle down there. You did? For Eric, yeah. So sexy. You're 12-year-old plot.

When did you lose your virginity? In middle school? Does that happen to people? Yeah, we had a girl who was pregnant in eighth grade. She was also the homecoming queen and the school president in high school, and she brought her kid to senior prom. Really overachiever, huh? So she started being a baby factory early.

In high school, in college, after, I don't have to read you all these answers. you can just tell me when you lost your virginity? Well, summer before college. So I guess you could say high school. I lost my virginity in the summertime too. Okay, last question. What is the current state of your love life? Active, transitional, lacking, exciting, decent, wild.

Active as book! You got master level kink. It was that cock ring, I swear to God. There is a gift of a blindfolded woman convulsing and having an orgasm. We'll post the gift on Instagram after we release this. Master level kink, there's no fucking way. I said bed. There's no way.

Yeah, I mean, no offense to me. No, I mean, take the offense. This is not you. This quiz is wrong. Can read the description. You are self-assured and confident. But that's true. I can't stop looking at this woman on a loop having an orgasm.

She's just going like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. You are self-assured and confident. You know exactly what you want. You dabble in many areas of sexual experimentation and are 100% confident in your sexuality. This certainly isn't your first rodeo, and you know how to get the job done. I mean, that's accurate.

Yeah, I'm super confident. I know what I want, what I like, and I'm open to trying some new stuff. But what are the other answers to this quiz? I'm dying to know. We'll go back and take it and do the kinkiest stuff we can think of. All right, guys, that wraps it. from the master level kink sex machine.

Master level kinkster. And right now. I'm just out here. I'm just out here living. Thank you for tuning in this week, guys. As always, please, please, please exit out of here and just leave us a quick review. It'll take one second on iTunes. We really appreciate it.

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