Girls Gotta Eat - What Counts as Cheating?

Episode Date: October 31, 2022

We're diving into that gray area of infidelity and discussing strip clubs, lap dances, happy endings, emotional affairs, Only Fans, and porn. We're sharing results from 30K+ listeners polled, and the wide range of feelings people have about all of these occurrences in their relationship. Before we get into the topic, we're announcing a new member of the family (!!!), chatting about our preferred couple behavior at a party, and discussing the new season of Love is Blind. Enjoy! You can now watch our episodes on YouTube! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for SNACK CITY 2023 tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Helix: Get up to $200 off all mattress orders plus 2 free pillows at helixsleep.com/gge. Bright Cellars: Visit ​brightcellars.com/​gge6bottle ​for 50% off your first 6-bottle box. Must be 21+. Some state restrictions apply. Beis: Visit beistravel.com/gge to get 15% off your first purchase. Blueland: Go to blueland.com/gge to get 15% off your first order. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I don't really want to walk in on you jerking off to porn, but I'm also like, catch me at the right time. I might be into it. I don't know. It depends on what kind of day I've had. You know? Your episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Happy Halloween.

Spooky. Oh, should we have done costumes? Oh. Too late now. Too late now. Should we have done costume. You know what I'm so sad about is that we bought that soup costume. It was a Campbell's soup can.

It was so, do you remember I accidentally sent it to my old apartment in Parksville, Brooklyn? Oh my God, you had to go get it. I had to go get it because I, like, accident, I had, it was on an eBay account that I hadn't used in yours. I had to go get it. And I wore it for our Boston show. It was like your idea. It was so much fun. And I left it at a bar and I don't have it anymore.

You wore it to a bar? That weekend? Yeah, like in the bar, the lobby of our hotel. You wore it out? No, you did. Yeah, like I wore it over to the bar and I left it in the bar, I think, which is in the lobby of our hotel. tell. Regardless, I lost it. It did not survive the night. Halloween is like today. So we've like have gone to the parties and stuff. And then I last weekend judged a dog Halloween costume

contest, which was maybe my life's greatest honor. It was unbelievable. I've never been at home waiting for content like that in my entire life. I was like, what she could have posted? It was so incredible. I'll tell you guys about it. But okay. We released our tour. week. Thank you so much for everybody that just went to, I mean, 18 shows, 17 locations. Thank you for buying tickets. We were really so overwhelmed by the response and just to know how many of you invited your friends, bought each other tickets, invited your sisters, planned trips, everything. So thank you. We are so excited to be on tour. There are tickets left for a lot of locations. We put a second show in Minneapolis up. It might be sold out by now.

But other than that, go to our website, Girls Gettypockets.com, and you'll see everything that's available and just thank you guys so much for so excited. Yeah, should we say them? Should we try to say them? Can you do it by memory? Hold on. Hold on. I think I think I, if you do the first half, I could do it. Well, if I just trip up. Yeah, okay, okay. I'm not going to be able to do this. You got this. Salt Lake City, Denver, Phoenix, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Tampa, Orlando, Miami, Chicago, Philly, D.C., New Haven, Sacramento. Did you do the Ohio's? I know they're at the end.

Okay. Columbus, Cleveland, Cincinnati. Is that all of them? I think that's all. You missed New Haven and Sacramento in the order. No, there was no, order was not happening. I was just going to see if I could get them all. I think I did it.

Oh my God. Look at me. Oh, I forgot Boston. You guys already got enough attention. We went hard on top on Boston. How could I forget? Okay, so anyway, those are all over the place, but this starts in February.

We're in Salt Lake starting on February 3rd, and then that goes all the way through June 11th, and then we'll take the summer off, maybe, maybe not. I don't know. We'll see. And then we'll pick back up in the fall. So we will, of course, those of you guys who saw your city, not announced, we will announce some more tour dates in the fall.

Yeah. I got, I just echo what Raina said in that we just love seeing all your story tags and two girls bought each other tickets. They didn't even know. Someone was like, I got you tickets. She was like, I got you tickets. She was like, I got you tickets. I just loved you ticket. I just loved it. So they did. Some of the cities just went so fast. It was so cool to see. People just have typos. I was joking. I want to call this a typo tour because people in their, like, post their group text and they're like so excitedly typing. I like love to see it. I was like, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, if you don't have a typo, you're not excited enough. And that my favorite typo was someone who wrote, I'm more Azul's friend, but Ashley and Rainer are okay too or whatever. Uh-huh. And spelled Azul as well. As well. A-Z-U-E-L.

It's like, oh, are you though? I like when you guys spell my name, R-E-Y-N-A. I'm like, can you even like me? But we just, oh, man, I can't wait to be on this tour and see you guys. And we just, we get so excited to see you guys get so excited. So there are tickets still available in a lot of these cities. We're performing in huge theaters. So get them while you can.

Buy them for holiday gifts, birthday gifts, every kind of gift. And we promise you the best night ever. Can I tell you, I like to reminisce on our tour a lot in various shows from the past. Can I tell you a memory that haunts me to this day? Oh, it's not like a memory unlocked. It's somebody you think a lot about it a lot. Okay. I think about a lot.

I see photos. I see videos that jog my memory. and it sounds a chill down my spine is when I almost fell getting up on stage in Chicago, it was so close. It was, I was teetering on the edge of a step that had no railing in a heel. I think about it, like literally, do you ever have things that you think about how they could have turned out and you honestly feel it in your gut? You start to feel hot thinking of like what could have been.

Yeah, I think about dangerous situations I put myself in. But you put yourself in that situation because what did you make me do? you made me sing down the aisles last minute. Ashley loves to pull out a song and dance number for me because she knows I will black out with terror. And we came through the crowd and Raina came down the aisle and I didn't have an aisle to go down. So I was like, I'll just walk through the crowd.

And I was so flustered. And then I knew that we had to get up on stage for a certain part of the song. And then the jets were going to go off. So I'm like, I'm not going to make it. I'm not going to make it. The fans are like, she's right here. She's in the crowd.

It was like, hi, Omicron times. We're probably all giving each other COVID. It was crazy. And I was like, I have like eight more seconds to run up these steps, no railing and get on stage. And I teeter, like you watch the video. I am almost off and I pull myself together and run up the stairs. And like, I just was like, I almost fell on the ground. What we would have done?

What would you have done, Raina? The Chicago Bears drumline was there. Like the stakes were so, the stakes were so. Like, whatever. Okay, Rayna, let me ask you this. If I'm on the floor, I'm on the ground. I have fallen. I'm on the ground.

Would you have still been like, what's up Chicago? The drummers are like, who run the world? Girls, who run the world? I probably would have said it as a question. You know what I mean? Like, I'm looking at you and I'm like, am I allowed to do this? We're literally they're playing who run the world. I'm on the ground.

Anyways, live show tickets. Thank you for buying them and keep buying them. Girls Gottypodcast.com. And then we have another really fun announcement that you should announce. I have so many announcements today. We're on TikTok now. Finally, I'm not going to hype it that much because, listen, we're late to the game. We should have been.

We are very aware. But anyway, we are on TikTok. We are excited to put content on there. So follow us on TikTok. Girls' Gotty podcast. We're going to do clips. And Rayan and I've recorded some content with like date ideas and different things that should be really fun. And so, yeah, we're on TikTok.

And then you can watch full episodes on YouTube as well. There's clips there. There's shorts. But the entire episode is there. And it's just me and Ashley today. So it's going to be an extra fun episode. because I love it when it's just the two of us by ourselves. Yes, and of course, Vibes Only,

and I have to tell you guys that there is new Halloween content for your Spook Bank original term. Bella, you were in the middle of conversation. She whispered to me a spook bank one word or two. So get in there. New content is added every week in the Vives Only app, which is our erotic audio stories, and then they pair with the vibrators via Bluetooth.

We did two Halloween stories, a him and you and her in you, and they are very sexy. And so if you're really feeling the mood today, get in there. But again, if you have a subscription, you get access to all of the content. But if you are new here, you want to just try out the app. You can download it and there is some content in there for free. And of course, the controller for the vibrators is free, the standard controller in there. So I know it was a lot to digest, but just, you know, vibes only.com for our product line.

And vibes only is the app. You can download and check it out, see what it's all about. But if you have the subscription, just check out those Halloween stories because they're sexy. Yeah. And the last thing I'll say about it, we have an incredible product line. The Raina 2 and 1 is back in stock. The Ashley is in stock. The Gigi, which is a great couple's toy.

And then we released a massage oil recently, which is so fun for date night. So lots of stuff there and lots more stuff coming for the holidays for you guys that we were working very diligently on. So we can't wait to release that for you. Okay. I have some DMs to read you. This is my new segment. Okay. So the last solo episode we did about Foreplay was, again, one of the funniest.

things we've talked about if a guy were to slip you his underwear at a restaurant like he was trying to be sexy. We put the clip on Instagram. It's awesome. You can watch the whole thing in its entirety on YouTube. It was really one of the funniest moments we've had in the podcast. I got this DM, Raina. This girl DME, she said, I went to a Halloween party yesterday with my boyfriend. He dressed up as a chef. So basically just had an apron and shorts on. We were talking to different people all night and met up at the end and noticed one of the pockets of his apron was soaked. I asked him why. said, oh, I got in the hot tub in my boxers, and now I'm just going commando because they were wet. Can you hold them?

First of all, I didn't even know there was a hot tub. And second of all, I had brought a clutch, and he was asking me what his wet boxers in it could not stop laughing and thought of you. What are men? I don't, can you hold these? Like, no woman on earth would find a secret hot tub at a party and be soaking wet and then be like, Hey, babe, can you hold my soaking wet panties in your duffel bag that you brought to this party? I like this couple's energy. They're like, we go to a party and we just go our own.

I love it. Yeah, we split up. We go our own. I like the energy of that. But he just, yeah, you're right. He found the secret hot tub. It's also like, are you sure? Or was this like a jacuzzi tub upstairs?

Like, how did she not see the hot tub? Like, what kind of house is this? Do you think it was just a sink? It's like, he went on like his own adventure. It's really crazy. This is so funny. And by the way, I also really, like, agree with you. I don't think we talk about this a lot.

But I love being the couple at a party that, like, you can walk in together and not see each other for, like, an hour. And my man can really go on his own adventure and, like, I don't even know about it. I love it. It is so funny where he comes back. You're like, I didn't even know there was a hot tub here, babe. He's like, oh, I was at the ice looge. You're like, what ice luge? I never know what he's doing back in here.

Okay, and then one more. Okay. I just, we ask people to give stories about the breakup season, breakup theory. She says, this is from last. week. She says, confirming the seasonal breakup theory, I broke up with my boyfriend of two years in September and moved across country. I was on the fence about him and told myself at the beginning of the summer that I would find clarity during the summer because I had so many friend trips planned and a big Italy vacation with him. Had a huge realization at the end of the summer. He's not the one.

So I paced out. I love being validated. That's so true. You're not going to break up before the Italy vacation. We know people that literally went on Italy vacation, a bunch of them and then broke up right after. Wait, that's the sign of a breakup. When couples are nearly, you're like, they're about to breakups. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That is so funny.

I would like to, you know what I totally forgot? So I'm talking about October is like a big month for me. Specifically the last week in October. I've met like back to back to back just guys that I've like dated, either short term or long term. But do you know what else I did in October? Who else I met in October was you. I like, October is like this really crazy month in my life.

It always has been. And I, my fiancee left me in October. Like, I feel like there's this crazy thing about October. It's transformational. It's transitional and transformational. If anybody can explain to me what it is about October. I just, it's not like such a hot takes when you think about October. It's the best month of the fall and you're going out more.

So you do naturally meet more people, of course. But I've had really bad endings also of relationships and new beginnings. And new beginnings all in October. Well, you know my month is February. That's your thing. That's my thing. That's when I, oh my God, so many things. I mean, back of the day, that's when I, and all, a lot of,

of things weirdly happen on like specifically February 4th. I mean, that was the day I got Dewey. That was the day I got this job when I was the editor of Daily Candy in Atlanta. I moved to New York on February 1st. We start the podcast in February. There's more to it. But it's always been, and that's weird because it's the shortest month and it's this like cold, shitty month. And it's always been my personal transformational month. And I just stuff has always happened in this podcast in that month too. February. Yeah. So I don't know. Maybe people have like months. If you guys have any insights, I would love to hear it like why like a certain month is.

like so so hot for you. Yeah. Because October is a big month for May. So I feel like I'm going to meet somebody this week. I feel like I'm going to meet my next boyfriend this week. This is offensive to me. Why? Because you already have somebody that I picks out for you.

And you have plans to see him, Raina. What are you talking about you're going to meet a boyfriend this week? If he's listening, just turn this off. He's the mastro's lip butter guy. Beard butter guy. Beard butter. Speak Easy is The scent, by the way. I have gotten so many DMs about,

the number one thing I've gotten DMs about. Speak Easy's the scent. This was, if people don't know what you're talking about from the foreplay episode, this beard butter. Yeah. Yeah. I've had two different guys in my life who were beard butter and it smells and it lingers on your lip.

Anyways, my update for you from last week's episode about money, it's just a quick one. But it really was like this crazy also kind of cosmic thing because I was talking the episode about friends not paying you back. And I have this one friend who, I was, like, frustrated that I had, like, Venmo requested her multiple times and texted her, and she never paid me.

And it was last October. And I swear to God, two days after we recorded the episode, she texted me. It was like, I realized I never Venmoed you for last October at so-and-so place. And she venmoed me back for the money. She probably heard the episode. No, it was before the episode aired. Oh, what? Yes, before the episode aired.

She texted me, was like, it's so crazy. I, like, realized I hadn't paid you. And she just paid me. Crazy. That is really weird. I know. Crazy. Spooky.

Spooky. Spooky season. Well, speaking to that, like, I want to circle back to this dog costume contest. I was a judge for the Tompkins Square Park, dog Halloween parade. That parade has been around for 30-plus years, but it's probably one of the biggest, like, dog costume contest parades in the world. I mean, it's insane. It takes over the East Village.

Really hard. And people go crazy. So I was a judge for it. And it was incredible. Some of the costumes were, there was, like, sex in the city group. There was a lot of New York-themed baseball. costumes like a dog was dressed as a bodega cat. I was like this is wild. There was this couple, a lot of like couples brought their dog, this couple, they were Supreme Court judges and the dog was

your uterus. And it was like the Supreme Court has your uterus on a leash. I was like, oh my gosh. There was some activism style costumes and just really insane stuff. I posted some of this on my Instagram story. But I mean, there was group costumes like the Titanic. They did this whole railroad with these like three Frenchies. They were like the conductors of this railroad. I mean, it was just so wild. some of the stuff people did. I loved the dog house was so funny. It was a dog wearing a house. That was up, the movie up.

So it was this dog in a house that all these balloons up. They were so creative. They blew me away. I got to tell you guys, it was so cute after the parade. So like when all the dogs dissipated, I was walking around the East Village

and I just saw like a dog dressed as a shark and there was a dog dressed as a corn cob and it was just random people walking around their dogs dressed up. And if you didn't know where they were coming from and be like, where are these dogs coming from? Like the way that people go all out for this. I went hard.

It's so crazy. And I got to judge it. It was an honor. So anyway, next year, hopefully you'll be the head emcee. I need to be hosting it. I mean, it's fine. They didn't know. Now they'll know.

But then there was this hot guy who came as E.T. And he had this dog in the basket, in the bike basket. And it was a city bike. I was like, the meters running. I love the level of commitment and risk taking, quite honestly. I put it about my story. I haven't heard anything. No, he's hot.

I texted you and I was like, is that guy hot? And you're like, yeah, I'm hoping. Somebody identified. To bring a city bike into an event. It's just so funny. I just, I don't even know what it costs. Oh, you don't understand how it works. Okay.

How do bikes work? You are on like a time limit. God, I have annual membership. I think the way that it, my annual membership works is I can ride bikes all day included in the membership, but I have to dock them. So you only get like, I think it might be 45. You only have 45 minutes on that bike and then you need to go put it in a bank and grab another one.

Like you can't ride around all day. Oh. Yeah. It's like, there's like a time limit on it. It's so funny, this is just like a part of the world. I know if you guys are newer to the podcast, I can't ride a bike. It was my deepest, darkest secret. I've never learned.

I can't do it. So I'm not part of bike culture and I literally have no idea what she's talking about. So I didn't know you had to like redock. Yeah. Okay. Big announcements. I'm really so excited. Oh my God.

I feel like really emotional. I've been wanting to tell you guys this for so long that I am officially an aunt. I have a nephew. Oh, I'm so happy. Oh, my God. Baby Jay Heseltine was born this month. Matt and Steph, they had this beautiful baby boy, the name already primed for draft day. Jay Hess.

Jay Heseltine. I love it. And yeah, I haven't shared about this. You know, they've been kind of private about the whole thing. And so now I can share it with you guys. And I've just kind of, we've been along this whole ride. Obviously, you were there when on my mom's birthday, when they shared that. she was pregnant and when they called and told us that he was a boy and everything has just been

along for the whole ride. But I went to Delaware a couple weekends ago at this point, the week that he was born. And it's just so wonderful. I mean, Matt and I are super close. If you're new here and you didn't know that, just to see your sibling become a parent is something that's so special and so surreal, especially if it's your younger sibling. Like he has always been my little brother, my baby brother. so to now see him as a parent.

I mean, it's just this like beautiful thing and kind of weird in the best way. I'm sure people who have experiences can relate. But I just know he's going to be the best dad. They are going to be the best parents. And I just feel so full of joy and happiness and love. And he is the first baby, first kid, like in both sides of the family, like the first niece or nephew on Matt and Steph's side. So that's just really special.

and I went there and I had such a good time. Like, I had such a magical experience with him, like sleeping on me. And I mean, I think he was in my lap like the whole first half of the Eagles Cowboys game, just like kind of dozing in and out of sleep. And it was just really so special. Like I went in there and I was like holding him. Like they're so, I mean, a week after they're born, they're just like so floppy or they're so little.

You're like, am I supporting their head? You know, they just get like, they're kind of like crunched in. And I was just kind of holding him like this. you know how you like rock a baby. And Steph came over and I was in the recliner and she was like, let me get you settled here. And so she like reclined the recliner for me, put him on my chest, like curled him up like he was sleeping. Like she situated it. And then I just like lay there for an hour.

I'm like, I'm here until he wakes up and needs bed. Like this is the way this feels and this is not my child. Like I'm like, how does that feel for them? Obviously so incredible. But it was just a really, all of it was just very, very special. It's really special to me and you guys FaceTime me and you guys were sending me pictures. And I mean, obviously your family's my fan. family. I'm just, I'm so happy for Matt and stuff. And, um, I just, I can't believe they're like,

parents. There's like another little person in the family. I'm so excited for Christmas. I know. I just feel so connected to him. Like, I just want to know what he's doing every day. Like, I just, I'm like, every day. I'm like, I don't, I'm not just the aunt. And I'm like, I don't want to miss a moment, you know, it's just, it's really, really special. But they told my mom on her 70th birthday, Rain was there. And then we had this shower and the joke was that at the shower, like, you know, it's Matt's special day. but I'm like the older sister I need attention to. So I just like jokingly did a gender reveal.

I like got this giant bottle of champagne and popped it. It was like, it's a boy. And people were laughing because it was like a fun party vibe and they know that I'm like a comedian. But it was just very funny because it was everybody already knew. And they were like, what does she do it? We had this video of me being like, it's a boy. And then I can't pop it open. Matt's trying to help me.

It was just this very funny, like awkward moment. But after that, I had this really special moment with Matt and Steph. They'd had this big party, really. Like, it wasn't like a traditional shower, which I love. And we were just sitting around just the three of us. I was staying with them at the time when I stayed there for those couple weeks in the summer. And they told people to bring the gifts, like, unwrapped. They didn't want to unwrap a bunch of gifts.

But people brought, like, baskets of a bunch of stuff and, like, everything. So I'm just going. I mean, there's tons of stuff. Like, they had so many people come over. So I'm going through everything and just, I'm, like, opening it all. Like, I'm, like, going through all the gifts. And Steph was just like, you just do it. I don't care.

And she was, like, inventory. and she was writing down everything so she could do thank you notes and then Matt was in charge of cards and it was just this really special moment. I had this picture of me like sitting on their floor just surrounded by all this baby stuff and you know I don't want children but I was like I'm never going to get to do this and I'm not in a way that like I want to or but it was this really special thing

that she let me she didn't even think twice but she was like you can open all these and it was really nice to see all the gifts and just have her were like a tag teaming the whole gift situation and I don't know why that felt so nice to me just this really bonding moment with the three of us. I think because you and I both have brothers that are exactly four years younger than us and they both have these wonderful wives that they've been with for a long time. And I think at least for me, I always wondered like when my brother and sister-in-law have a kid, like, does that sort of X me out of their life a little bit?

Or does it bring me into the life more? And I think it's nice to know that it opens your life up more, that it doesn't make them so self-consumed with themselves that they're like, I'm busy with this. You know, I think it's nice to see that somebody's like, this should bring us all closer. And I think that having a baby is so all-consuming and it's nice that they want to like open their life to you and you're such a part of it. And I mean, I just think that's family is so important to both of them. So I mean, I have a friend that does not get along with her sister-in-law really or the sister-in-law just isn't really wants to be a part of their side of the family and they have a baby and it's kind of weird. Like she just doesn't, she doesn't feel very welcome. Yeah.

And it sucks. And so I feel for people that that's their situation because this is not the situation. and I have such a great relationship with her, and she's so wonderful, and it's just, it's so exciting, and I can't wait to watch this little boy grow up and can't wait to talk to him. I can't wait until he talks, and his name is so iconic.

I love it so much. And also, I just want to say, like we did this episode about not wanting children, what, exactly two years ago, and we're so proud of it. And I think that one of the things we talked about was that you feel mischaracterized when you say, I don't want children,

and not you personally, that most women feel mischaracterized, that you're not a nurturing person, and you don't want, you don't love children because you don't want them yourself. And I think that this is a good example to say, like, I'm still nurturing and I love my brother's children, and this is still exciting to me to be around kids. And just because I don't want my own doesn't mean I'm not all the wonderful, sweet, special things towards kids in my family.

And so I think that sometimes people that don't want kids are unfairly labeled. So I think it's just nice to acknowledge that that's not the case. Yeah, I've been waiting for this moment for so many years. I just have been wanting to be an aunt for so long and it's it's happening. Oh my God, Azul was so funny with him because he just didn't really know what to do. Like Reggie Matt's dog will kind of like headbut him when he's like in his little thing. Like a bad way to. He'll nudge the like thing that holds him.

What do they call? I don't know. Or there's like a thing they just put it. Whatever. I don't know all the baby names. But Azul is just kind of like, what is this? It's very cute. Oh, that's so sweet.

He's so sweet all the time. I can't see him bothering anybody. So my brother and my sister-in-law, I'm moving to London in the new year, and I'm really, like, so excited for them. And my brother texted me, like, the day after Matt had a baby. And my brother was like, when are you coming to London? I was like, when are you having your baby? And now I feel like I'm, like, really pushing them to have kids.

And I really want them to. My brother was so funny. It was like, I'll start fucking more, I guess. And I was like, oh, they're still, like, they're still, like, deciding what they want to do? Um, I don't know. I don't know when they'll want to have kids. I think that they want to have children. I don't know when.

But I think so. And I hope soon because I feel like, I'm going to be so excited about Matt's baby, and I'm going to want a baby of my own. This is our baby now. Yeah, I just, this holiday season, like, oh, my God. I'm really excited. I'll probably meet him at Christmas, if not sooner, so I'm really excited. I was invited to another Christmas, but I think I'm going to deny them because you guys don't know.

I spend every year with Ashley's family every Christmas. Yes, he will be at Christmas. Welcome to the fam. Yeah. Baby Jay. Yeah. So that's our big announcement. Do you have any wrecks this week?

Taylor Swift album. I'm like really, you know, I have to listen to an album more than once and I'm on my third pass and I'm really, really loving it. I have lost track. I'm just playing it in my home whenever I'm doing anything. It's just been, I'm moving out of my apartment at the end of the year. So I'm like starting to start pack stuff and throw stuff out, send stuff to Goodwill. So it's just been on a loop.

I love it. I love the album so much. A friend of mine called it a mid-tempo reputation, which I feel like was very accurate. I agree. Because it's very different than folklore evermore. but it's not quite as hard hitting as like reputation. So I feel like the mid-tempo reputation. And then the songwriting is just out of this world.

I feel like she's revealing so much about herself, whether it's all about her or not. I'm not that much of a Swifty, but I like love her for her songwriting and everything. I don't know the story behind it. It's me. I'm the problem. It's me.

It's hysterical. I know. It makes me, I walked down the street like laughing about it. I want it on a shirt. Hi, I'm the problem. It's me. But is it about, is she singing that?

Is she like the anti-hero? I don't know enough. Like I don't know everything there is no about Taylor. with like does she draw inspiration from other people in her life or all these songs really about her? Should I know this answer? I don't actually know. Okay.

No. I mean, you know more about, you will actually dive more into music and like the backgrounds of music than I will. Because you're listening and you're like these lyrics are so deeply personal, which I, we can relate to. We share everything about our personal lives and the different form of media. But I just, I adore her. I think my favorite song is Maroon. And then second favorite song is bigger than the whole sky, which that's from like the 3 a.m.

the extended version. But I heard I heard Maroon for the first time and loved it immediately. I was like, that's my favorite. I just had like a clear winner. And then the sinner, Sinner season four is on Netflix. I talked about this before. I really like to center the season one. I feel like they're never going to do better than season one with Jessica Beal. Season two was fine. I skipped season three. I heard it was a little weird. And then I read a recap because you do kind of need to know what happens in season three going into season four. And I did like season four. I feel like it was getting a little convoluted. I was like, am I going to tap out of this? There was just a lot going on. I was like, what is going on here? And then I saw it through.

And I did like it. I tie it all together. It's a good watch. I think that it's like a lot of mysteries woven in and out. They're solved. So you'd like it. I never get the satisfaction I want from unsolved mysteries. And I think if you're into these kind of shit, they're kind of dark. They all, it's always Bill Pullman that is like solving the mystery. He's the detective. He's like always coming in not a retirement, but they're always a different story, a different case every season. So again, I think the first season is the best season. But I did like this. This is probably my second favorite season. What about you? I am two wrecks. One I'm going to make really quick, and I don't know if it's for everybody, but I'm reading the book Confidence Man by Maggie Haberman. It is about the Donald Trump, his whole life.

I was going to say the Donald Trump presidency, but it's about his entire life and his presidency. She is a Pulitzer Prize winning New York Times reporter, and she was like a main reporter during his presidency. so she has tons of in-person experiences with him. I think just as we go into the midterm elections, it's important to kind of remember how much bad can come from one person and the decisions of deciding to not vote or not know about the issues of the day. I don't know that everybody really wants to relive the Donald Trump presidency. It was pretty traumatic.

So I don't know that this book is for everybody, but I'm finding it interesting. I pick it up here and there. So I'm reading that right now, and I think she's a great writer and she's tremendous insight. And then on a more positive note, Love is Blind season three is out. And we are so excited. The next couple of episodes are out tomorrow while we're recording.

And by the time this comes out, it will be dated. So I think we just talk about it maybe as a whole once it's over. It's over. Yeah. But we're both fucking loving it. Yes. I mean, I just fucking love the show. What can I say?

It's just the best. It's iconic. And we talk a lot about it. love blind. And this is the season the most where I feel that people, and I'm not into the next couple episodes, but they're struggling with who the person was in the pod versus who they are in person.

And I think there's a lot of discussion about connecting the emotional bits of somebody with the physical attributes of somebody and am I attracted to them in the real world? So this is the most I've seen it come up on a season. And then it just made me laugh. There was a bustle article or Vanessa and Nick. They were like, why aren't you guys over there?

And they're like, we just can't make it all the time. pretty busy. So we asked them to host like the honeymoons in Malibu so we could like get there. And it's like a hilarious. It's what if you and I were like, you know, we would love to do the podcast more. It's just we can't always be there. It makes me so mad because whatever, Vanessa Nick are fine.

Okay. I'm not throwing any shade. They're fine host. I'm cool with it. The host should be Lauren and Cameron. I bet if you did a poll 100% of people would want Lauren and Cameron to be the host. Why are they not the host? If Lauren and Cameron aren't the host, the other host should be.

Ashley and Raina, we will be there. We will call the tour off again. I'm kidding, we will never, but we will make time to show up. You bet nobody would ever interview us, and we'd be like, you know, we wish we could be there to host the show more, but we're just so busy doing. What are you guys doing? I don't know.

Ashley and I can't talk about it enough. Lauren and Cameron should be hosting this show. They are the most elite, iconic couple that has come out of the show, the first ones to fall in love, the only ones besides Barnett and Amber that are still together, and that's debatable. I don't know if they're still together. they should be the host because they have done the experience. Like that's why I love Caitlin Bristow and Jesse Palmer on The Bachelor

because they can communicate with the contestants in this relatable way. I know what you're going through, man. Like I know what you're going through girlfriend. Like I love that about it. Like I think it would be so helpful to the contestants. I think they're who people want to see. Give us Lauren and Cameron. It's so true for them to be able to be like, just see this through.

And you might enjoy this or find something about yourself or another person that you love. Like, fuck this. And if I wasn't feeling like this at this point, leave. I am, it does. It's like, it gives you so much more hope because they are the most successful people that have gone through the show. Like, I swear to God, Vanessa and Nick, like, their energy is a lot of times like, like, relationships are tough, man.

I know. Which they are. And I like, but a lot of times like Vanessa and Nick give energy that they just got to fight. Right. I'm like, are you like they're coming off. Which I'm sure they're great and relationships are hard. Long-term relationships.

relationships are hard and I love the honesty about that. But like sometimes my energy is there in a fight. Yeah, but it's not honesty. It's the energy. They don't come on and they're like, listen, guys. We just got to fight, which I was like Lauren and Cameron's presence. What does that feel like? We've been trying to get them on the show for years.

Just like horny for it. Like are you just horny? Are you secondhand horny when you're around it? Yeah. And I've never seen a man cry so often that makes me so horny. Like love is blind season three I'm dying for new episodes And so I was like I gotta get my fix

So I rewatched season one last night And like they're the whole first episode Is them falling in love And he cries so much And I'm still like damn You are so hot And so sexual together And she's just so gorgeous

I just yeah I'm very turned on But we need to get them on Because we and we talked to Lauren We did a podcast Her podcast that she hosts With Fat Carrie That's his name I'm not just calling son with that

I carry Bradshaw, who I love. And we were talking about coming on. So I would love to get them together. I think that'd be really fun. We don't have a ton of couples on this show. I don't know. It's not the content that people are like begging for, but I think they would be iconic.

So if you guys were listening. I saw a tweet that was like, what is going on with the people on the cast this season? We have this guy that's fake crying and this girl that did this deep, dark confession that she's a bartender. I was like, Ashley, her name is Raven.

She is telling this guy, like, what she does. And I was like, I thought I misunderstood it. Because the way she was describing it is as though she's an escort. And there's nothing wrong with that, but it can be a hard thing to explain to a stranger. She's just a bottle girl at a bar? It was crazy. She was like, a lot of men are not okay with it. How did she say it?

Like, he was like, oh, you're a stripper. She was like, oh, my God, no. I'm a bar. Like, the way she said it, like, oh. I know I'm a bartender and I do bottle. I'm like she's a bottle girl. But then it started to be like she is into men with money. Like I feel like I got a vibe of what she was trying to tell him.

You know what I mean? And then the other girl is like, well, I have a bunch of children out there in the world that might want to connect later in life. Wait, I completely miss this. That she said that she had like donated her eggs to like eight people. Didn't she say eight or nine? This is not a small feat, okay? I think it's an admirable thing to do.

it's not for everybody, but she was basically saying, I could have, what, 30 kids out there, and they can reach out to me if they want to find their biological mother. So when I was like 21, I first moved to New York, I thought about doing this and you get a lot of money. Basically, you're in a book and couples can select from you, and you're a good candidate if you're a college-educated, 21-year-old girl, whatever. And so I, like, went to have conversations about this, and yeah, you can sign whether or not you're going to let people sign to you. But it's so extensive. I mean, if anybody's ever gone through an egg retrieval, I mean, it's that.

And so to do that more than once is, I mean, it sounds traumatic for your body, like over and over and over again. I'm laughing because that is something you would want your partner to know. You know, like, that's the same guy. They both confess these deep, these, they confess these things to him. She's like, I need to let you know that I could potentially have 30 children out there in the world. And they could want to reach out to me as their actual mother and how do you feel about that? And here's the other girl like, I have to tell you that I'm a bartender. I'm sorry, but they approached it with the same tone.

That was correct. One of them is probably the hardest things you could ever tell a person. And the other one is a job most people have held. And Bartis is like, all good, girls. I'm chill. I'm chill. His response was the same to both of those things. I actually think his response was a little bit more serious to the bottle girl.

Like I think he was like, oh, yeah. a lot of people could have a problem with that. And the egg donor, he was like, sounds chill. You're so, I mean, this was really glossed over to the point that I'm like, did we cut something out of the episode? Like, which guy's like, yeah, that's cool? We can have, which I love that. I love that he was like, there shouldn't be any shame in that at all.

But I could see where people might have a problem with it. Yeah. We will continue to talk about the show. We'll probably just do like a wrap up at the end of the show. But get in there and watch it. Yes, get in there. You guys know that we are, Love is Blind, Stans.

And of course, we had Deepty on recently. If you want to check out our episode with Deepty, who was the, Raina calls her the breakout star of season two. She was the breakout star. And then we'll have Lauren and Cameron on one of these days. Oh my gosh. Our topic, we haven't even discussed it.

I want to tell you like why this came up for me. I am so tremendously excited about this to talk about like what is cheating. And this was inspired for me personally by a friend of mine who sent me this Instagram story about only fans. And this girl had been saying that her man uses only fans and she thinks of it as cheating. And he said to me, this is so fucking stupid. Who would think that? And I said a lot of people would think that.

And then I started rattling off to him all this stuff. I said a lot of people could think porn is cheating. People think strip clubs are cheating. And I was rattling us all off. And I realized how every single one of these is so nuanced. Every couple has a different answer to this. And of course, there are overwhelming responses to some of these things. Yes, it's cheating.

No, it's not. But it's so debatable all these things. Yeah. It's funny that you said OnlyFans and I randomly took my socks off. I'm like, what am I trying to? It's like fears your free feet porn. Ashley's like, speaking of making money on the side. Oh, my God.

Ashley just kicked her coffee over. I hate myself. Okay, yes, I'm starting my only feet account. But I just want to say up top that like what we don't want to do in this episode or really any episode is like tell our listeners how to feel or how they should feel or invalidate their feelings. I think that people have such wildly different thoughts, feelings, opinions on infidelity. I think that it's all based on your upbringing, your personal experience, you're a trauma.

I think that there are so many things that someone might not. give one fuck about and it would be a relationship breaker for other people. So I just want to say that because I think we're going to, you know, share our feelings and opinions. And we know not everyone feels the same way. But at the same time, I mean, this is one of those things we get messages about all the time. Like, what would you do? How do you feel? Is this cheating? Should I feel this way? Am I valid? Am I validated in how I'm feeling? And so I just want to share how we feel, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't feel how you feel. So I feel like, and just hear me out, my personal feeling is anything is cheating if you feel

that it's cheating, if that's your boundary. And as long as you communicate that to somebody else, clearly they can make an informed decision whether they want to be held within those boundaries. And there are things that would be totally fine for me that are so out of bounds for other people and vice versa. And so we will speak to our own boundaries today. And if you have a boundary, it's fine to have it. I have a different upbringing than you.

I have a different outlook for my life than you do. It's fair if you communicate that to other people. And for me, also, it's partner-specific. Some people would make me feel that they were being duplicitous when other people wouldn't. And we can talk more about it. But if I felt like you're being duplicitous, I wouldn't date that person. So it's pretty loaded for me, like what's cheating, what's not cheating. And you're welcome to think literally anything you want.

Yeah, for sure. I mean, I agree with that, I guess. I just think, of course, there's a point in which, again, maybe your boundaries are so tight that it's hard for you to find a partner because you consider going to a strip club as cheating. And I mean, what if someone was like, what you do at your shows is cheating? I'd be like, we can't be together. This is just, I don't see the world. You're right in that you can think whatever you want, as long as that's expressed to your partner.

You can have whatever boundaries you want. But I think we all should self-reflect on why we feel a certain. way about certain things. So I think that that's really, a lot of this is very partner specific because I would look at if I have some partners that would tell me, we'll get at each thing, but like I'm going to a strip club and I'd be like, I don't fucking care. But I could see if I was younger I had partners. I would be like, absolutely not, you're not because I don't trust you. And then you have to think to yourself, okay, well, what's my problem here? Is my problem that I have a problem with all partners going to go to a strip club? Or is it this partner? And I don't trust that person.

Let's think about why I don't trust them. Let's unpack that. Why don't, why don't do I have this boundary? Yes, and people have different trauma. Did your dad go to the strip club and never come home? You know, are you insecure about your body? So you feel as though you don't want your partner looking at women, for example, that have a better body? Like is it rooted in insecurity?

And we're going to unpack all this in kind of the vein of strip clubs and only fans and porn and all these things. But I do want to say thank you so much to all of you who answered these polls and the questions. We do this a lot, but for some reason, this really warmed my heart that people just found our Instagram account and the polls that we were doing to be a safe space to share how they felt in their relationship on a touchy subject, you know, in terms of cheating, in terms of their own boundaries and their own relationship.

So I just really thank you guys for sharing this information with us. And, I mean, Rain and I were joking that we should be doing these fucking research studies because of what 30, 40,000 people answered? Like, that's a large segment to get. get data from. I don't know a lot of studies that can say based on results from 35,000 people. So we're doing 24 hours. Yeah. So it's nice.

So we have you guys. Thank you. And we asked you to, I want to echo with Ash, so we asked you to really talk about some important things. And some things aren't cool girl answers. You know, some people want to be like, yeah, I'm cool with my boyfriend going to strip club, but I'm just not. And so I think some people wish they had different answers to this. And you guys were so open with answering honestly about that too. Yes, that's what I'm, also that, yes. Like, of course you want to be like, I don't care, but you guys feel like you can be honest

with us and be like, I do fucking care. And this would break my relationship up, you know? Yeah. Whether that's, whether that's irrational or not. I mean, I think I just will get to some of these, but they made me so emotional. Like one, something that someone was bothered by, she was like, yes, I'm bothered by this, but I know it's my own religious upbringing that I need to unpack. It's like, just thank you guys, as always, for really sharing your lives with us.

Yeah, the porn stuff really hit home for me too. We're getting all deep on this porn episode. I feel really emotional. We asked you guys, what do you think about your partner watching porn and are you upset about it? And a lot of people said, like, I'm upset because I feel like that means they're not interested in me sexually. And it, like, broke my heart because that's not the case. And I want to talk about why that's probably not the case. So anyways, we put these polls up about strip clubs, only fans, laugh dances, and about 35,000 of you responded.

So we want to unpack the answers and just talk about. it because so many's are loaded. And we encourage you to throw this episode in the group chat and tell your friends and talk about it. I think it's a really interesting debate. Before we start, I just want to reference two other episodes. We did an episode called Is He Microcheating? And it was episode 69.

So you can find it, episode 69. And that was about more like social media behavior and different things like that. And then, of course, Esther Perel is cheating black and white. Black or white? It's cheating black or white. It's not, you say it's like not black and white. It's gray. Not black or white.

you don't say like cheating is black or cheating is white it's not either or it's not like you say like it's not a black and white situation you're right you're like it's black or white people are like it's white and that was you're right you're right you're right and that was last summer in June last last June so you could those are just really our great episode hers being better than the former the latter being better than the former but that's a great place to start but I would love to start with strip clubs and strippers I have so many feelings obviously we're stripper enthusiasts. Yes. As a company, we are stripper enthusiasts. So,

should I read the poll, the data? Hit us with the data. Okay, we can split these up. How did we asked, how do you feel about your male partner going to a strip club? Also, just want to say, I mean, we know so many things can be applied to same-sex relationships, any sort of relationships on the LGBTQIA spectrum, but a lot of these just, I mean, felt like kind of like women and men. So that's kind of what we're going to speak to, but they can apply them however you want in your own life. But how do you feel about your male partner going to a strip club? 36% said, I don't care.

56% said I'd rather he not, but it happens. And 8% said, I forbid it in my relationship. So over half, I'd rather he not, but what are you going to do? And then 8% absolutely not. That is a deal breaker for me. And then 36%. I don't care. So, Raina, where do you fall?

To me, this has been partner specific in my life. There had been partners in my life where it made me really uncomfortable when I reflect on those relationships. I was much younger, so I was a little more jealous, and they were not trustworthy people. So the reason why I had a pro, I always skewed more in the middle. I've never been an absolutely not. I'm more of a like, take me with you. That sounds fun. Oh God, love it.

I love to be there with somebody. But I think this is probably more for like guys are on vacation on a bachelor party and they're at a strip club. I have felt like I don't love it, but I guess it's fine. What am I going to tell you're not allowed to do something? But anybody that has made me feel uncomfortable that my boyfriend couldn't be in an environment like that, I can self-reflect now and say that that person did not make me feel safe and secure,

that they were not capable of going to a strip club and getting like a fun night with their friends and not doing something really duplicitous to me. So today, right now, anybody I've dated, like if you want to say my last boyfriend, he could have gone to a strip club every other week. I wouldn't have fucking cared. FaceTime me from the strip club.

let's watch together. Yeah. I mean, to me, it's, I am, I'm the I don't care girl, but I have never dated a guy that I felt like had a addiction to strip clubs. I mean, to me, I'm like, every week, I don't, I think that's indicative of maybe something else going on. I don't know if that's, whatever that means, the type of partner that I would, that I would be with, it's got to be at the strip club all the time.

But yeah, I mean, I don't know, like quarterly. Bachelor parties, yeah, I mean, I love a strip club. You love a strip club? I mean, I think that I would say I don't care at all if my partner goes to a trip club. If I had a friend that said, absolutely not, I'd want to dig in a little deeper to find out why and where that comes from, again, if there's some personal experience or trauma there, or if it's just a narrative that men always cheat, you know, where you're kind of getting that from. I don't really find that to be the case. But I think if we were to look at the stats, we're getting closer to a world and I was looking at stats last night where men and women cheat about the same amount.

But on a bachelor party, probably men fuck around a little bit more on a bachelor party than a woman's fucking around at the girls got to eat show. You know, like I just, where there's strippers and stuff like that. So I think sometimes, I think it's good to self reflect and be like, okay, it's okay if I do this in my relationship, but I don't really like it when he does it. And I don't necessarily know if I think that that's hypocritical. I think that it's colored by the way kind of the world is and male behavior and something things women do just don't really skew problematic in a way that like men have always done or something.

Does that make sense? Yeah. I also think that we know that we can control, like you know you can control yourself. You trust yourself. It's like I don't, I'm not with you. I don't know what you're going to do. And I think this is really loaded for a lot of people with different factors. Is it once in a blue moon, once a year you're going to a bachelor party and you're going to strip club? Are you in a hotel room with these women? Are they stripping in a hotel room that feels maybe a little different for some people than in a strip club. I think most people feel like, I don't care. You want to pay this girl to pretend she likes you for a little bit. Like, fine, you can look at some titties, but I'm not around. I think people feel differently about, are they touching you? Is this a private situation in a hotel room? Are you in town or not? Is this a bachelor party? Are you just with some friends at a bar and on the street? You've decided to go to a strip club. All those feel a little different, but I'd like to say the healthiest thing for me is to feel like I can trust you to do those things and not take it too far. and tell me the truth about it and it's not like a big deal and I can laugh it off and it's not a habit. Yeah, I don't love it as a habit. I mean, that's based on my experience with guys who I have

dated and looking at every guy that I've ever dated or had a serious relationship with. Like, my ideal guy and the guys that I've had relationships with the past are like Bachelor Party Strip Club guys. You know, like I've never dated a guy that's anti-strip club that's anti-looking at beautiful women with her two things like that. I don't know that I want the guy that's like, I refuse to go. I know. But also if he's, if a guy is like, I find it to be a little degrading to women, then sure. But I've never dated a guy that's like excessively going. They're like, yeah, I like a strip club. Who doesn't? Like, and I think not all strip clubs are created equal. I think some obviously do feel like a little more like degrading and some feel a little more elevated. But I love what you said about paying this girl to pretend she likes you. Like, I got to.

tell you, ladies, the stripper doesn't want your man. I tell you like, she's at work. Yeah. Like, if you're worried about what's happening at the strip club, you're probably also worried about what's just happening on a regular night out when your man's out till three or four in the morning. Because the threat is more in that situation than the strippers that are getting paid to be there.

I'm more worried about the clientele than I am about the strippers. Yeah. Like, I'm worried they're going to meet somebody at the strip club. That's not a stripper. hang out with them that they're not paying to be nice to them. You know what I mean? I think it's, I mean, it just makes me laugh to think like your boyfriend call you and be like, yeah, we're going to go a strip club later.

And I'd be like, have fun, look at it some titties. You know, I don't have a problem with it, but I have formed healthier relationships with people as I've gotten older and guys that aren't fucking weird about it and try to hide it from me. I wouldn't like it if you went and lied to me and I found out later. And that's also because I feel like I'm a pretty rational, not jealous person. There's tons of stuff wrong with me. I'm sure being jealous is not one of them.

So my reaction would be like, why did you feel the need to lie to me about this? It feels weirder of the lie. Right. And then that's also like, is it because you just assume all women are jealous and crazy? Or did you have a partner before me that got mad that you went to the strip club? You know what I mean? In which case, don't put that on me. Yeah.

Strippers are part of our career at this point. I mean, I know that's not everybody's story, but I wouldn't want to have someone hide something for me and be like, well, my last girlfriend got so mad. it's like, don't project that on me. I feel like, and I agree with you completely, I feel as though, and sometimes like you don't need a reason, sometimes you just feel it. It feels different to me if they're in a hotel room with the strippers.

I don't love it. Again, if you just told me that that was what was happening versus me finding out late. If I found out later, I'd be fucking pissed about that. But if you told me, I feel like I wouldn't care that much. I think I would very much skew in the middle of like, it's not my favorite idea that you're sitting on a bed in a hotel room with a stripper.

but okay sure that's what you want to do on a bachelor party have fun yeah and i mean also just you need to say this up top i think women who choose to work in that field are great we it's the same as like we hire male strippers women strippers all the things like i just want to don't want to come across in like derogatory in any way but we got this email once that was asking how much time do the male strippers do at our show like basically like wanting us to lay out the involvement of the stripper slash strippers at our show because she wanted to what bring her friend and her friend and her fiance

have a no strippers rule. I mean, I just, I don't want to offend anybody, but I was shocked by that. Like, the girls got to eat show where there's a stripper on stage that is clothed, by the way. There's no dicks out at our shows. No dick out. Yeah, I mean, he might

have a thong on, but he's like dancing on us. Like it was, I hope they're doing great. I found that to be a little bit of a red flag in the relationship, like these hard lines on like you cannot be around. It felt exotic dancers, but maybe it's like a religious thing. I mean, whatever.

It felt excessively controlling to me. Yeah. And that's what it, it just felt like I should be allowed to exist in the world. You know what I mean? Like, it's not as though if they're at a, even I think it's fine too,

but they weren't at a male review with like eight strippers with dicks in their faces. So even that, it's like, I'm saying I don't care if my man goes to a strip club. So I should be allowed to do the same thing. Oh, 100%. Yeah.

And I mean, you can't stop your, partner from looking at naked women or like he can do it on the internet like I mean it's just like are you trying to control what your partner sees gets off to gets hard about is into because you just want that to be exclusively all on you I'm just asking like again this a lot of this is just kind of like self-reflection personal preference but I think it's a completely normal thing for men women whoever to like strip club every now and then and if you don't that's fine too I also think it's nice and important to acknowledge that just because we're in a monogamous, healthy relationship doesn't mean that we stop being attracted to other people in the world.

And we can talk about porn a little more, but I've certainly masturbated to things that my partner can't give me. That doesn't mean I'm going to cheat on them or I need them to give me something. I'm just a dynamic person. And just because I'm with one person doesn't mean I'm completely shut off to the rest of the world. So I think that I can perfectly well see somebody go on a bachelor party and be like, yeah, look at it titties.

Titties are great. I'm not going to, it doesn't mean I'm going to cheat on you or sleep with somebody or pay somebody to suck my dick. I just want to go out fun with my friends, look some tinnies. Yeah, I certainly, I mean, this would, I would say never happen to me, but I certainly don't want to be the girlfriend that has told her boyfriend. Azul is right in my, oh my God, that he can't go. Like, I would be mortified if my man was on a bachelor party and he was like, I'm not allowed to do that. Well, that's how I think we breed liars. Because I think that most people are not going to tell their friends.

I didn't do that. I can't do that. I'm not allowed. I think most guys are going to be like, let's lie to all of them about this. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I don't want to be the person that's causing that either. And I mean, again, that's mine and Ashley's boundary.

But, like, I do think it breeds lying sometimes when you try to control somebody. And then it's like this bad cycle. So, like, let's talk about why you don't want somebody to do those things. And, like, yeah, I wouldn't know. never want to be the person that's like you can't go to the strip club at the bachelor party. And I think a lot of this is communication with your partner. Like if you're in a solid, healthy relationship, you should be a lot of communicate to your partner. Like, I am very triggered by this and here's why.

And discuss it as a team. I do have a friend that infidelity broke up her family. She is super triggered by it. I don't know that the strip club is so much of a trigger, but things trigger her that, and she's aware, she's brilliant, she's in therapy. I mean, this is a person that understands this about themselves, but her partner also understands it about her and he doesn't want to put her in positions that are uncomfortable, you know, where she needs to feel that way.

I just think everybody's got a different level of like what bothers them based on who they are. And I wanted to say this too, this is kind of one of my main points of this episode and this topic is this is my personal feeling. I've discussed this with a lot of men and we've talked about this with experts. And I think that overall men in relationships, if we're talking about a heterosexual relationship, men want to feel like they have freedom and women want to feel like they have security. I think that, of course, women want to feel like they have freedom and men want to feel security too. But I think it's like this predominant feeling that men want to feel like they're free.

And when you try to control them and like yank that leash and keep them on such a tight leash and watch their every movement and ultimately like trying to control their actions, not trusting them, I don't think it bodes well for you. And I know there's relationships that work out where you both are like that and that's what works for you. But I see that go really badly when you really try to control your partner's every move. And at the same time, the woman in the relationship wants to feel secure. So she wants that honesty.

She wants her partner telling her what he is doing. And I think those two things really are what makes a relationship work. And again, like even if you are kind of like bothered, like just you got to let your male partner think that he's living life on his terms and that he wants to be with you and he doesn't feel forced into this relationship with you and that you're hovering and controlling and keeping him on a tight leash. Well, you said it. The first time I've heard you say this, you were giving a friend some advice this summer. And you said, like, the tighter the leash, the harder, they're going to buck against the leash. And really, the visual for me was really great. And I agree. And I think sometimes when we give

people a little bit of freedom, they actually proved you that they can be trustworthy and that they We'll be honest. Yeah. I think that sometimes we get so wrapped up in these, are they going to cheat on me? Are they going to do something terrible that it almost becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy? And I've been there. I've been the person that's just like hucked and nagged and been so scared of it that it almost comes to fruition. The quickest way to have someone cheat on you who is not cheated on you yet is to accuse them of cheating on you.

Yeah. Like when you, because how many times have you heard a guy say, she thought I was doing it? So I just did it. Like she already thought I was cheating, so I'm just going to fucking cheat. And that's not a good, none of that's good. All this is like that toxic, unhealthy relationship stuff. But we all get caught up in it, you know? Yes.

We all start to feel untrustworthy and we need to take a step back and ask yourself why you feel like you don't trust this person. Yes. All of these things are asked yourself why you're not okay with it. And some things can be, I was cheated on before. Some things can be like, I just don't fucking like it. And that's fine too. You can tell your partner that and then they can make an educated choice,

whether to be with you or not. Yeah. But we hear this all the time. And we, at this point, years and years of talking to experts, talking to couples, talking to men, talking to women, talking to therapists, all these things. I mean, the more freedom you give someone, the more they want to be with you, the healthier the relationship is. And so when you have, if we're, again, using a woman and a man, a woman that's like, has

that tight leash, can't do this, can't do that. I'm watching every move. I'm tracking you. I'm tracking your location. And then you have this guy that's. not making her feel secure, you are just like budding heads. It's bad. It's all bad. And I can say from the point of view of somebody who my very first boyfriend in New York, who I lived with, I knew he was cheating on me. I felt like he was a completely not trustworthy person. He was duplicitous. I never

believed anything he said. No matter how much I went through his emails, I showed up at his work, I wanted to know who he was texting. I went through his Facebook messages. Every way you could cheat on me, he still found ways to cheat on me. He still found other ways to sleep with other women and take them on dates and lie to me about where he was. And so, I mean, that, we live together. Like, where there is a will, there is a way. And you cannot torture somebody into not cheating on you. I mean, I did, I remember I would be like sick, nauseous, crying, going through his stuff,

trying to, like, figure it out. And I'll never be in that position again. I was 22, 23 years old. I'll never do that to myself again. But I tried to show up at his work to catch him doing things. He still found a way to cheat on me all the time. He just got more creative. Someone can cheat on you whenever, wherever, midday, while you're at work, you know.

And again, I don't want that to sound like disheartening. It's just like you can never watch someone at all times and control their every move. But at the same time, I don't really want somebody that is out all night long, all the time. That's probably not going to be my partner anyway. So I think that there is something to be said for this person is doing a lot of things that would lend itself to being an untrustably person. So I get that too. Yeah. Again, you want to feel secure. You want someone that if you do live together and they're like, I'll be home around this time, you don't want them waltzing in at 8 a.m. What the fuck have you been doing? Yeah, I want to feel good. And I remember how sick I just felt all the time. I was just in emotional trauma at all times over this person and I didn't trust him. And I just wouldn't put myself in that situation again. Once you go through it, it's easy to just sort of recognize the signs and be like, I don't, I don't ever, I don't deserve this. I'm not going to go through this again. So I don't know a problem with my partner, doing a lot of these things, but I don't date people that do these things to me anymore. Yep,

yep. And we'll get into some submissions like that. I saw one of a girl that just like saw the light. Like she's like, this used to be bothered me and then I got into a secure relationship and I'm not bothered by it. So yeah, to wrap up the strip club stuff, let's talk about lap dances. So how do you feel about your male partner getting a lap dance to strip club? So they're not just there. Somebody's touching them. 21% I don't care. 61% I'm pissed, but it happens. 18% we are breaking up. So I will say a lot more people said, I don't care if somebody goes to a strip club, a lot less people said, I don't care for the second one. So more people care about lap dances, obviously, of course. And it does feel like a little step further if somebody is naked on top of your partner and they're paying for it.

My feeling on it is that you're still paying a stranger to pretend that they like you. But still, you know, this is interesting. 61% I'm pissed, but it happens is even more than the 56% of I'd rather not he go to the strip club. it happens, you know? So it's like, but then way more people are, not way more, 10% more like we're breaking up. This is a deal breaker for me. Listen, I don't know. This depends on the relationship. It is absolutely not a deal breaker. If you're at the strip club, I'm kind of assuming you might be getting a lap dance. And it depends on my mood, whether I want to hear about or not. Because I have a lot of things in my life that I'm like, I just don't want to know about it. You didn't cheat on me.

The relationship's still the same. You feel no differently about me than before you walked in that strip club that doesn't affect me in any way. get a lap dance, we get them. They don't mean anything. It's a fun thing. But maybe I also want to hear about it. Maybe I'm like, tell me about it. Maybe it's going to turn me on.

But my bottom line is I, it's not a deal breaker for me. I kind of want to know how this happened. I want to know why. It's always that one friend. That's like, okay? It's always that one problem friend that's friends with your man. That bad shit always happens when they're always with that guy. And I know who that guy is.

Yeah. But I'm also like, I don't know if that dumb friend. throws a lap dance my man's way. I want him to enjoy it. I don't want him thinking, I'm going to get in trouble. Ashley's going to be so mad. He should be thinking,

like, I've watched Ashley get so many fucking lap dances at the girl's got to eat shows. No, I'm just kidding. But I just don't, if I really trust the person, I don't care. You know, like, I just don't think that, I mean, I was on a date with a guy and I did buy him a lap dance at the Claremont lounge.

Again, it was a six-year-old woman, dressed his little bit of peep, different vibes. But I can't be hypocrocrime. critical here. That's a really good point. I want to backtrack to what you said before. There are some, like, I want to empower people to be honest with me, but there are some things I actually don't need to know. And some things feel like you've told me to alleviate your guilt, but all it does is make my life worse. I didn't need to know that somebody was naked on top. You could have just said strip club, and I would have been fine with it. Yeah, like, that's the thing.

Like, I don't want someone to not know what they're going to get with me. I think that any person I would day would absolutely know that we were not breaking up over a lap dance. But I just, again, it depends on my mood. I might be like, I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to hear about it. I'm not in the mood today. Or I might be like, tell me about it. What her tities look like, you know?

I might, listen, take it a little further. I kind of feel turned on by like my man like fucking me and telling me about it. Like when that girl is on top of me like that's the tell me lies. That's the scene and tell me lies. I'm fully masturbated to that. There's this scene and tell me lies where she's basically telling her boyfriend about sleeping with somebody else and he like opens up her jeans he unlaces her jeans we all had those jeans and he's fingering her and I was like so turned off turned

turned off I was so turned on by it so I think it's really hot dirty talk to like talk about somebody else in the bedroom it turns me on but yeah it just depends on the day and just your level of security again like I'm way I'm so much more secure in myself than I was 10 years ago 15 years ago, you know, or whatever, whenever was in my like 20s, younger 20s, like, I don't think I would have been sitting here saying this today. I think I'd be like, oh my gosh, that would make me feel weird if I knew some hot woman was all up on my man. But you just kind of, I'm like, what do I care, you know, these days? So I just want to say that sometimes it is a journey, and you certainly can change how you feel about these things over time. I do think that people

just become more open about sexuality as they get older. And so I think that maybe it would be harder for a man to admit to their girlfriend in their early 20s. Yeah, I like strip clubs and I like other tities and as a female you're like, what does that mean? You're not attracted to me. And I think that's a normal way to feel and as you get older you realize sex is so complex

and it's a huge spectrum of how people feel. And just because somebody wants one thing doesn't mean they aren't 100% in it with you also. You know? And exactly like you said, I want to be empowered to get my own lap dances and know that I'm not going to go suck that guy's dick after the show or something.

And I have hooked up with two guys after our show. not the strippers, that have both told me that the stripper turned them on, watching me get stripped on, turn them on. Yeah, I'm aware. These are the men you need to be focused on, honed in on one of them in particular. So I, yeah, like, I dare someone I'm dating to tell me I can't get a lap dance at the male review. Like, again, like, I know, and I know it's not always equal between how men and women act

and the way that the way that the world is. I mean, I get this in stand-up. What if a man said that? Bitch, how long do you have, for me, explain to you why it's different? You know what I'm saying? Like, that's a different case. But so I do get that it can be different. I do think that there is this narrative that's not entirely false of guys at bachelor parties,

guys at strip clubs, guys with this, guys with that. So, and I don't think you really hear that about women. I don't think that women are out at the male review. Maybe, though. Maybe, though. I think that women tend to hold each other accountable and you wouldn't want to let your girlfriends down by doing something really duplicitous. And I think sometimes a group of men egg each other on in a way that women just don't.

I don't experience it with my girlfriends that they're just like, just fucker do it. Like I think my girlfriends would be disappointed in me if I had cheated on my man in front of them. And I think a lot of guys kind of tend to, this is not all men, of course. I think that my brother and your brother, I think the world of them. But I think men can tend to just egg each other on when they're drinking in these situations. And listen, at the end of the day, it does feel different inside of like the male review and inside the strip club. So, yeah, I just think that this is. completely how much you trust your partner.

Yeah. Okay. Happy endings. Happy endings. So how do you feel about your partner getting a happy ending? So they go for a massage. Somebody finishes them off. 4% I don't care.

So very few of you care not at all. 29% not my favorite idea, but I can deal with it. And 67% we are breaking up. So close to 70% of people answered that I will break up with you if somebody else makes you ejaculate, essentially. Yeah, this is just very like, what was the motivation here? Also, I don't, sometimes these situations are not the best for the women. You know, like I'm kind of thinking of that. I don't know.

I don't, I haven't encountered it. No one's ever told me that it's happened. So it feels very like maybe I just don't want to know, but if you were a secret happy ending life and you were doing this every week or was this one time on a trip or something. Like I don't, I really don't love it. If my partner came to me and said, I need to confess something to you, I've been getting happy endings weekly, this entire relationship. I think I'd be like, for this reason, I'm out. But if he came to me and said, this thing happened, everyone was doing it. We were like, I don't know.

Like, I think I'd be like, oh, my God. Oh, my God, Josh. but I don't, if everything else was good in the relationship, I don't think it would be a relationship ender. I think a lot of people probably are cut from the cloth of like, no one makes my partner come besides me. And if they're paying for it, I don't like it either. Even if it is just some like nameless, faceless, doesn't matter.

It's just a transactional orgasm. I don't love it. I feel like, I don't know. If it happened once, I feel like I don't want to know about it. Also, this, I mean, we're in a world where there's so much more openness, non-monogamy, all these things. Like some of the people that could have answered this poll could be people that have more of like an open relationship too where they're not, it's not as closed and as tight. It's just like, yeah, he can do stuff like that.

I don't care. Or she can do stuff like that, you know? Yeah, I don't love it. And if somebody came to me and said, this is a secret life I'm hiding or this is a monthly thing, I would, listen, that's my own feelings and thoughts. I would think what's going on here? What's, why do you need to pay somebody for this all the time? And I don't feel like, why couldn't you just do it with me? I just feel like what about you need to do this all the time.

Is this like a sign of a larger problem? Yes. Or something going on. So we, you wrote this question. This next would you rather and this is a good segue into it because so much of this is transactional, right? So it's just like you're just paying somebody to pretend they like you. And I think a lot of people are like,

I don't know, you can pay this girl to pretend she likes you fine. But you wrote this Would You Rather? And I think that it sort of lays out like which things are we more afraid of in general? So you want to read it? Yes. Would you rather your partner drunkenly hook up? And I just wanted to specify, like more than kissing less than sex.

They didn't have sex. They weren't that intimate, but it was like more than kissing. Would you rather have your partner drunkenly hook up with someone at a bachelor party or whatever, you know, guys not out that he never speaks to again? Or would you rather your partner have an emotional affair with someone at work, but they haven't done anything physical at all? They have not kissed. They have not going down that road. And 80% said the drunken hookup, 20% percent. said the emotional affair. I've never related to anyone less than those 20%. I can't. Again,

like, this is just all personal to you and it's no judgment. I mean, that is a lot of people, that is their nightmare that your partner would touch someone else. You would so much rather have them flirting, texting than ever touch someone. And to the other people who I resonate with are, God, I'd rather so much have some drunken random hookup than someone that's like making you laugh and that you're connecting with on an emotional level. That's just me. I'm with you. I'm with you. you. I mean, either one of these things is my dream. I feel like it hurts so much deeper that you have a prolonged and emotional. Somebody else is making you laugh. You're confiding in another person. That like breaks me to my soul. Okay, you got drunk and did this thing. I think I could recover

from it. I think what I could I recover from? I went out with a guy on the date. I don't know why the fuck he thought he should tell me this, but he was talking to me about the last girlfriend he had. She was homesick. She didn't feel well. He went to a bar and some random strange girl was like, it's my birthday and I want to suck your dick and he got a blow job from this girl at the bar and then like went home to his girlfriend. He was like, it didn't matter. I didn't know her name. Who cares? Like, whatever. And I was like, but then you went home to your girlfriend. And he's like, well, she was sick. We didn't like, you know, hook up or anything. And I was like, you're a terrible person. To tell me this is crazy. And I never went out with this guy again because of this,

obviously. It's a crazy thing to tell person. So it's not my dream for that to happen either, like a random hookup, but I could recover from it probably. Mm-hmm. And a lot of people just have different rules and boundaries in the relationship in the first place, you know? Yeah. Some people are like, yeah, talk to somebody at work all day. You're a little girlfriend at work. Talk to her all day. You're a work wife. Oh, man. Yeah. I mean, that's where I'm at on that. I mean, it just, we wanted to see where you guys fell on this. And I just, you know, respect both sides. It just, it feels so different. And I don't want someone that's like getting drunk all the time either. I don't drink as much as I used to. But it. It just feels different when you're out, you're living in the moment, you've had drinks and something happens, then you're sober in your right mind, premeditated, thinking about this stuff. Yeah. That you're having this emotional affair. And then you're with me.

It feels just a little dishonest. Yeah. I mean, that's why I would struggle with non-monogamy in general. It's not that I would have a problem. My partner sleeping with people because I know I can sleep with people and not have feelings for them. It's that it breaks me to think about somebody. like laughing and being like emotionally intimate with somebody. That's what's hardest for me.

I don't know. Somebody else can make you calm. It's not my favorite idea. I hate it. It makes me sad. But like the emotional affair, it just hurts more. It feels,

you know, more upsetting to me. All right. We are going to get into only fans and porn. We're going to read through some of the listener responses, but we asked, how would you feel if your partner subscribing to someone on OnlyFans with sexual content?

Because there's all kinds of content and OnlyFans. Someone might be like, I want to watch that person play the guitar. So we meant sexual pornogram. style content. Tons of no, absolutely not. Hate it. It feels like a knife to the heart. I would say overwhelming no, but let's go through what people said. Okay. So absolutely not. You get free porn on the internet if you need it that badly, which I do think is a good insight into this. Didn't care until I saw who and what he was described to. Then I was upset and had so many questions. It's not cheating,

but would like to know if they're doing this. People just said it's too personal. People said good for them support sex work people did bring that up that there's a lot of unethical porn on the internet when it comes to the free porn a lot of just like paying for content that's a step too far it feels disrespectful it feels more intimate than watching porn people were kind of like only if he's subscribing for us to watch together no private messaging you know you can like commission people to do different videos like personal for you obviously then just like then just pain for what they're putting out there to the masses so that's a little different do they know this person if so no way if it's someone famous sure that's fine

A lot of that. Like, do they know, this is our friend? Is this some girl that I know to? You know, that was, people said that. If he's hiding it, we could talk about it. It might be okay. And then some stuff about the expenses. Like someone, I guess this is a married couple,

as long as it's coming out of his fund money and not his family expenses. And then I did get a DM. I wanted to see what he thought about this. This was porn. But basically she said, I dealt with this in my last relationship. He was paying hundreds of dollars for these sites, direct messages, pictures, videos through email. I feel like it hurt a lot more because of the large amounts of money.

But again, you know, Rayne and I believe in having your own money and doing whatever the fuck you want with it in a relationship. So everybody has different setups when it comes to money too. But yeah, I mean, it was a lot of, no, I don't like this. I don't care about porn, but this is a step too far for me. Yeah, it feels just more personal. And it's one of those things sometimes you're like, I don't know, I can't describe it. I just don't like it. To me, the way I described it is just it feels a little too comfortable.

is a little too close to the person. Yeah, are you paying Bella Thorne to see hers? Even if it's just a celebrity, I feel like a little bit better about it. But so much of OnlyFans is to interact with the person and to get that private content, to be paying them for these one-on-one interactions. Even though I can fully trust that person on OnlyFans, I just, I don't love it. It doesn't feel great. And the money component isn't great.

Like, not a lot of people can afford an additional $10 to $20 a month subscription on top of what they're already spending. So are you spending money that like we should be spending on bills? Like that feels really unfair when there's a free alternative. Yeah. This is tough. And however you feel is how you feel. I don't.

There is no answer to this. There is just whatever is going on in your relationship and what makes you feel comfortable. And if you feel like someone is hurting you, crossing your boundary, all the things. I don't know. This one is so tricky. I mean, it's, I'm curious what various experts would say, but there is, is no straight up like this is bad or you shouldn't be upset about this or you should be upset about this. You know, this is very specific to whatever's going on in the relationship or with the person.

I'm trying to think about individual boyfriends and how I'd feel if each of them had done this. And I feel like my last boyfriend, if I'd like come home from recording and he was like on only fans, like privately paying for like messages one on this person, I wouldn't love it. And I really trusted that person. I still feel like I would kind of be like, I know men are gross and they do stuff that we can't understand, but like, I don't know. I would feel like what's the point of this? My whole thing is just like, I always need to know the motivation. I need to know, like, if something that I can't understand, whatever it is, I just kind of want

to know why. Like, what are we doing here? Yeah. You know? I think, if he was like, this is a huge celebrity. I just want us to hear naked. I'm not one-on-one interacting with her. Yeah.

But like, I like to watch. I'd be like, all right, whatever. Okay. It's not my favorite idea in the whole world, but okay. Whatever. Right. Yeah. But I understand why this feels way.

more personal than just all the porn on the internet you can consume for free. Yeah. And we did porn. We asked, do you feel upset or bothered by your partner watching porn? Again, pretty overwhelmingly, no. We all watch porn. Don't just lie about it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to walk in on it. No, I watch porn too. And I mean, a lot of, as long as he's not porn addicted, because that messes with your mind and our relationship. I mean, porn addiction is a real thing. And it certainly affects someone's sex drive, how they behave in a relationship, their expectations of sex, all these things. That could be a whole other episode. We can dive into that another time with even an expert. We have touched on it in previous episodes. But I don't want someone that's watching porn all the time.

Like, does she like anything else? I don't want someone that's drinking all the time. I don't want someone that's got kind of an around the clock vice like that. But yeah, of course, watch porn, whatever. You know, like it's just, again, it's this like everything in moderation type of thing. Everything in moderation. is. I think when I think about people that don't like it, I think I'll, and I can't speak for other people because it doesn't bother me. I'm a consumer of porn. But I think some people are like, why aren't you attracted to me? And if you're watching something so different than what I am, am I not giving you what you want? Are you seeking out something outside of this relationship? And I think that we're all entitled

to our own sexual fantasies. And we're entitled to masturbate to things that are so far outside of the realm of your relationship and what you guys do together. And that's what's fun about. sex and masturbation is it can be a really private thing. And yeah, sometimes I want to masturbate to some like weird porn that my partner can't give me. It doesn't make me less attracted to my partner. And it doesn't mean that I have some like duplicitous other side to myself. And I think some people are also like, well, I would have had sex with you today and you

chose to jerk off instead. And it's like, I don't know. Some people don't want to have sex every single day. They just don't want to be bothered with you. I don't. Sometimes I just want to take care of myself and not worry about another person. And there's tons of stuff that I watch in porn that is. taboo or kinky or same-sex porn that I really like that I'm not doing with my partner and

that's just a part of my personality and I would never want to be told you can't do that because that feels really unfair to tell me what I'm allowed to fantasize about and how to pleasure myself. Yeah. I mean, of course it goes without saying is there something illegal that they're into? Child-born, different story. I just, I want to make that clear. We recognize that. And people have different lines. Like, someone may not be able to reconcile the fact that their partner is into incest porn, for example, you know, something like that or something really violent, violent or something that they just can't seem to wrap their head around.

But all this is like such communication with their partner. I mean, where I stand on porn is like, is it affecting our relationship and our life in some way and is this an addiction? And otherwise, I don't know. Again, I don't really want to walk in on you jerking off to porn, but I'm also like, catch me at the right time. I might be into it. I don't know.

It depends on what kind of day I've had. You know? So I was looking at the people that really said this is a problem where like, yes, he watches it too much. It puts unnecessary pressure on me. I mean, there's realness to this, especially with these younger men and experts or male experts are talking about this. I'm like, well, how damaging it actually is. So I do want to recognize that. We talked about it with Rina Malick a few episodes back and about how men are like conditioned to think that they want certain types of sex and they can't get off from regular sex anymore.

And then again, someone wrote this kind of made me. sad. I wish I could fully satisfy him, but it happens. I don't know that it's about that. I mean, again, this is this your insecurity that you can't satisfy your partner? Are you having open communication about your sex lives and your needs and your desires? Or do you just feel like he wants something crazier and kinkier than you're comfortable with? You know, I have so many questions. And then again, the old me would say yes, but now that I'm in a healthy, trusting relationship, it's fine. We love that energy. And then the one that I reference as well, yes, but I think this is due to some religious trauma that needs unpacking. So so much about this, open communication, honesty with your partner. And

and then self-reflection as well. Yeah, I really feel for women, or men, anybody that feels like my partner's watching this because I can't fulfill their sexual needs. And so often it's not like that. And as somebody who watches quite a bit of porn, I probably watch porn twice a week, maybe once a week. It has nothing to do with my partner. Sometimes I just don't want to be bothered with another person's pleasure. I just want to focus on mine. I do want to explore something that I don't need all the time. It's just sometimes I enjoy it. And I don't need to share every part of myself with somebody that has nothing to do with the fact that I'm extremely a attracted to my partner. I can separate the two completely. And one that I liked, she said no,

doesn't bother her. I don't take that as a reflection of how they feel about me. People need to get off by themselves and there's no shame in that. So yeah, we really, again, thank you guys for sharing all this with us and contributing to our research study on sex porn. I just, I think this is really interesting and fun. We hope that you debate this with your friends and talk to your partners about this stuff because I think everybody has really interesting boundaries and whatever is where for you is right for you. You know, as long as you feel healthy and safe and happy. And that's all.

Okay. So first off, we're going to mix it up. Subscribe to YouTube. If you are watching it, make sure you're subscribed. So it's super easy to find. And if you're listening to this and you haven't checked out the YouTube yet, please do, listen, maybe you're like, nope, I do this on my hawker walks and that's how I'm going to do it.

I don't want to look at their faces. We are on YouTube just so you guys know. We're on TikTok now. Girls Got Eat Podcast. And of course, Girls Got to Eat Podcast.com for, tickets to our tour dates and you can grab some merchandise there vibes only.com vibes only on instagram and twitter girls got a podcast on instagram i am ash hess reina is reina dot greenberg and that's enough we'll see you next week have a good week guys bye