Girls Gotta Eat - What Do Our Dreams Mean? feat. Psychotherapist Kara Catrelle

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

This week, we're exploring our subconscious with psychotherapist/specialist in dream analysis Kara Catrelle! She explains the definition and significance of dreams, and we chat specifically about the themes of sex, exes, fantasies, cheating (YIKES), and more. We also discuss how to use your dreams as a spiritual practice, why some dreams feel so much more real than others, recurring dreams and nightmares, and how astrology affects our sleeping state. Before Kara joins us, we catch up on our recent trip to Dewey Beach, what Rayna got her bf for his bday, and a former guest a listener wants Ashley to sleep with. Enjoy! Find out more about Kara and her services by visiting her website. Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @RaynaGreenberg. Visit our website for show tickets, merchandise, and more! Thank you to our partners this week: Pretty Litter: Use code GGE for 20% off your first order at prettylitter.com. The Pill Club: They are offering a $10 donation to bedsider.org for every listener who becomes a patient at thepillclub.com/gge. Buffy: For $20 off your first purchase of $80 or more, visit buffy.co and use code GGE. Dipsea: Get a 30-day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So I always look at dreams as helpers. And one of my biggest questions is, how is this dream trying to help you? What is the message? What is the wisdom? Back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. Okay, do you remember the time I forgot what I said after hi guys? I every week have PTSD.

One week. One time in three and a half years, we took one week off and I forgot what we say. And now every week I'm like, don't do a girl. Yeah, someone tweeted they took one week off and forgot what to say. Like in a funny way. She was like so funny about it. It wasn't like any shade. Yeah, they're amazing.

Back from Dewey Beach. Got that Dewey Beach glow. Got that Doey Beach glow. Got that Do you. Yeah, the hangover. I got that bloat. The puffy eyes. The bloat.

Love to see it. Puppy jowls. Do we always wins? Last night I was like, I'm not going to drink. I'm not going to do it. I did. Don't do it.

Okay. All right. We're back. We are back. We're feeling good. We'll talk about it later. I'm feeling okay. I did do a Peloton this morning and I just said I was going to be done by noon and I wasn't.

And like our assistant. walked in and then you came in. I'm just like sweating in a sports bra. Actually, you have never delivered on a timestamp you committed to. Not once in your life. You said we're going to leave Dewey by 10 yesterday morning. Louisa comes into the bathroom. She goes, Ashley said we're going to leave by 10.

I was like, have you met Ashley? Have you met her? Listen, sometimes I'm on time. I can be punctual. I can't be. For airports, yeah. Interviews. We've never missed a flight one time because you're getting that forum.

That's not what happened. And this is such a, this is one of the biggest lies that you have been spreading. This is the fake, the biggest news. We weren't late because of a foot rob. I, we missed our flight and then I got a pedicure in the airport. It was Valentine's Day.

You always do this. Feet were too soft. Listen, that pedicure was one of the best I've ever had. And my feet were too smooth. I was like sliding around in my socks. But that is not why we missed the flight. We missed the flight. low-key because I was having sex.

That is why. Low-key brunch, light-choking, and I just was delayed on packing for a month. You are punctual when you need to me. I could never be your business partner if you weren't. I would never forgive it. But in general, Louise was telling the whole house yesterday, but you promised to leave by 10. She told your brother. She told me both.

I was looking at her. Like, did you ever think we would? Well, it's just getting out of town, like getting the car doing the whole thing. If there's really not an actual time, I need to be somewhere, just kind of delay it. I like woke up the day we're supposed to leave. I did want to try to get a peloton in because I ate too much pasta the night before. I was like, I'm just feeling like really lethargic. And I hate both servings of the hell of fresh. If you all want to know, listen, they are for two. I ate at all. I was like, I'm not going to eat it tomorrow and I don't like

having, I don't like wasting food. Just so you know, this is not the person I've heard. I can't do anything tomorrow. I ate too much pasta last night. We were at Carbone in Miami and I was trying to plan one night we were going to go to Carbone and you were like, I don't want to eat all this pasta and then go leave early in the morning. You have a thing about pasta. Well, I just, I get like some lethargy from food if I'm going to eat the house down. So I don't want to like, I know I'm going to wake up feeling like not at 100% and it's worth it. But you know what I mean? For all of us. It's like, I want you to go to yoga and I don't want you to eat pasta the night before we used to do anything. But like if I'm going to eat pasta for two for one. For one.

then I am going to need to wake up and get a little cardio in. So I did, I said that we were leaving at 10 because I knew I wanted to leave by 11. So I had to tell myself and you guys 10. I wasn't trying to fuck around with you, but I had to say it into the universe. I had to say 10 a.m. so I knew we would leave by 11. That's what we did both ways, leaving and leaving New York to go to Dewey and vice versa. That is so funny. 10 is 11.

10 is 11. I know. I was like, Louise, have you met her? So you guys, I just want to say a little housekeeping up top, you're always writing these amazing emails and DMs about all the things that we do for you and we appreciate it. Here's the thing you can do for us. Share this episode.

Share all the episodes. Share the podcast. Leave a rating on iTunes. Five stars always. Follow us on Spotify. And just do an Instagram story post of an episode that you love. Even if it's an older episode, we always appreciate it. You can always go to our website, find older stuff, share episodes with your friends.

But that is how we've always promoted the show. So that's how you can help us now. by doing it. Yes. And another quick announcement, we are going back out on tour. We have so many fun shows. There are still some tickets left in Charlotte, Atlanta, Charleston, Minneapolis, Night 2, Phoenix, and then Texas. I don't think I'm missing. Oh, and Chicago and New York. And then Texas. And Cancun. Do you say Gaycun? And Cancun. Why is Cancun so funny, that? Someone thought I was like throwing shade at JFL. Like she's like girl, I heard that shade you threw it.

Like I was like, no. No, it's not that. I think she thought I was, I was treating it like it was a fire festival. I'm like, no, it's just we don't really know what's going on with the tickets. Like I wasn't being shady about it. We just don't know what's going on the tickets, but we will be there. Yeah, we'll be there. We just don't know what day our show is.

I don't know. There's one ticket. It's all inclusive. So you'll get us, you go on Nikki Glazer. You'll get Tom's Cicora. We'll be there. You're going to see us. And then, yeah, we're doing Moon Tower Festival.

at Austin. We mentioned that last week. Those tickets will be a... There's festival passes on sale now, but tickets to just our show will be on sale. We are told this Thursday, the 26th, that 10 a.m. Central Time. It's a great festival. Tons of people, like we said, that have been on our show will be there. It's multiple days long. So fine. But there'll be two shows, Paramount Theater. We're headlining the whole festival. Can't trust us enough. Top line headliners. So two shows. And then, yeah, the rest of... Emo's if you bought tickets again. They should have been refunded if they weren't. Call them. I didn't say anything.

crazy. I didn't see any messages about it, so I think they might have done the right thing. And then Dallas and Houston. Yeah, in January. You can't wait. So we'll see you guys there. Start in the year with you guys. And if you guys are coming to the shows, we always read stories. Your craziest dating, sex, relationship stories at the shows. The local. The local. So you can email your stories to Stories at GirlsGaddypockets.com and just put in the subject line which show, which city and time you're coming to. Okay. That being said, Raleigh, Charlotte, Atlanta, Charleston, now is your time.

Now is the time. We are compiling these hilarious crazy stories. It's one of the best parts of the show. So get those stories in. The craziest stuff, they better be true. Because listen, I'll tell you one thing. Charleston last year, one girl did come up and she had a fake story.

And the audience saw it right through it. So listen. But just email stories at girlsguttypodcast.com. But those shows are coming up quick. Guys, don't play. Don't play. Is this a true story with Ashley? kick you off the stage.

You don't want to go there. You don't. It was funny though. Maybe you do. But if you leave the stage crying, that's not on me. Yeah, and don't tell your friends to message us about it either. It's your fault. But yeah, if you're the southern, southern girls coming to the show and your rainbow

flip-flops, I'm just kidding. But just send those stories in. And we can't wait to see you guys. Yeah, I think that's it. Yeah, that's it. And if you guys want merch, I don't think we're going to sell merch at these shows. Probably not. We're not.

So buy it online. at GirlsGaPagast. We have tour merch on there. We have all kinds of stuff you guys can wear out for the shows. So check those out. Great. Mugs and stickers.

They're vinyl. Lots of questions about what they're made out of their vinyl. The stickers? People have questions about stickers. I've answered four emails about what's a sticker made of. Vinyl.

What? You have a sticker allergy? Somebody wanted to know if they could put it where it would rain. Okay. Like on their deck? Like on their car. Like on their car.

Like a bumper sticker? Like my kid made the honor roll. Did you have those? No, my mom did be careful. My mom had a sticker and her cry and said, I only love one of my children. It was like a photo of Ireland. Wait, didn't she?

You know, like people have like the family decals and it's like a mom, a boy, like a dad, whatever, a daughter. My mom was just like her in Ireland. Oh my God. She's like, that's it. That's my family. Stop roasting her family every week. Okay, but.

Do they still do that today? Probably not. I feel like bumper. Like, but my child made the honor roll. Like, we got those bumper stickers. Why wouldn't they still do it? Like, are people still out here putting that on their car? I probably not.

Are they, Bella? Like, public. And the South where the Rainbow stickers are. Yeah. I got one every marking period. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, here's your bumper sticker mom and dad. They're like, we still, we're still rocking the old one.

It probably exists. Also, I'm not roasting my family. I'm roasting me. It's not a roast that my mom doesn't love me and she loves Arley. All right. Guys, we have an amazing episode today. It is about dreams. We have an amazing psychotherapist, dream analyzer, car car, control coming in. But I wanted to reach this DM I got. I'm excited. That's in line with the episode. I just got this an hour ago. She said, I've been pondering, sending this message for like a week now and finally decided I've just got to do it.

I'm currently pregnant and I'm definitely experiencing the vivid dreams pregnant women often refer to. Most of them are about nothing, but just full of color and detail. Well, about a week ago, I had a very intense sex dream, only it wasn't me and my husband or even me in a celebrity crush. It was you and Jared Fried. I had a sex dream about you and Jared. This is all caps. I had a dream like it was just so funny.

Anyway, I think you're both single and it looked like you both had a good time. So food for thought. What if that was like your me cute story with Jared Fried? It's like, how'd you guys get together? A listener had a dream that we fucked. But it's funny because I send Jared. a lot of DMs. Like, I'll send Jared. We told, we talked about this last week. I sent him the DM from that guy, still talking to that guy casually, if anyone cares. And then another guy,

like, window tapped me and then slid into the DMs and was like hitting on me really hard. And he was not like, whatever. I sent it to Jared to be funny, be like, Jared, I blame you for this. So I'm constantly sending Jared DMs. Like, what have I said him that? Just no context. I'm like, what's up? That's how you guys like got together. I'm here for it. You are? I feel like you'd be jealous. Oh, I would absolutely be jealous. But if you're going to date somebody I'm jealous of, it has to be Jared. Oh my God. If Jared could be like my brother-in-law, I'd be so happy.

All right. Well, it sounds like we had fun. Well, I wonder a position he added in. Oh, my God. I can't imagine Jared fucking, but I want to know about it. I feel like, listen, I'm here for it. It would be my dream if Jared could be my family. This is your dream.

It is my dream. Please date him. Well, I have to read you a DM that I got from a listener. It's funny. She said this is the weirdest, this is the weirdest thing to DM someone. I'm pretty sure you'll forgive me, though. I swear I just saw Kane while I'm eating dinner and she says the name of this very small like suburb outside of a major city. I swear I was eating dinner and I just saw Kane pushing a baby in a baby stroller.

I had to explain to the ladies I was with that I thought I just saw my favorite podcaster's boyfriend. Don't think I'm a creep. I was just thinking of you much love. Like she saw Kane with a baby and just like blew the case wide open. Kane as a kid. That is so funny. and it was him. What?

Oh. So his sister lives like outside of a major city in a small town. I'm not going to say it because I'm not going to put her on blast. But she lives in a small town and so she named the town. But, and his nephew is a baby. Yeah, yeah. So she's a baby.

So she saw Kane walking around the stroller and I like sent it to his sister. And I was like, this is so funny. And she was like, does this girl think she's like letting you know that Kane as a kid? She's like blowing it wide open. Like he hit it from you all this time. That is so funny, but like, what if he did? Like, what if it was like, you know, things like that happen and they aren't true, but every once in a while, one out ten times, that probably happens.

Kane knows I might have some stranger sends a message to some person. He's like, this must sound really weird. Person and, you know, influencer type person. And they're like, hey, your man is a secret kid. And it's true. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

Cain told this joke about me and a listener told me, I have eyes everywhere. So anyways, that made me laugh. If you see my boyfriend with a baby, you know, just hit me up. Let me know. I love that. It was his birthday this week. And actually, they were talking about like birthday presents to get somebody you haven't been with that long.

I mean, like, we're super happy, whatever. It's been like six months. But so I got him a book of photos. I take a lot of photos while he sleeps while he takes naps. And he naps literally everywhere in cars and bars. I don't know. He sleeps everywhere. So I made a photo picture book of him sleeping.

It's 28 pages of him sleeping. I love this so much. It's so funny. And that was my present. So if you guys were looking for creative gifts, I went on SnapFish and I made a whole book of Kane taking naps. I just love that's like such a funny, cute, like lovey thing. You know what I mean?

Like I've had exes that just took like the most heinous pictures of me. Like I did have an ex that took a picture of me sleeping. It was the most horrifying thing I've ever seen. It was on, you've seen it, I think. Yes. It's just why I'm laughing. It is, and I took a picture of him sleeping and he looked like a little angel.

Like I just was like, how can I look that ugly? Yeah, I only snap photos when he looks insane. When he's like gripping his head with both of his hands in the middle of the night and he's sleeping. When he just like falls asleep in the weirdest positions, he looks so stressed out when he sleeps or his mouth is just wide open. He's all starfished on the bed. I've showed you that other picture my ex took where I'm like on the couch, I was drawn, but I was on the couch and I was like in a dress. It was like up around my waist. My arm was like all distorted.

I'm just like, that's funny. Yeah. Like if a guy was dating made a book of me with the ugliest photos he'd ever taken to me, I would be like, marry me. It's so funny to me. I couldn't wait to tell you. I was like,

what am I going to get him? I'm not going to spend a ton of money. We haven't been together for like long enough for that, you know. I mean, we have, whatever. I don't know. It was a funny thing. It cost me like 35 bucks. That's really funny.

I love the idea of a picture book. Yeah. That's how you know you love somebody. you take pictures of sleeping all the time. That's what I do with his all. My whole fake camera roll. I've never seen you sleep. Have I?

What about? We don't sit together on planes. You've never seen me sleep? What are you talking about? I guess we used to share hotel rooms. She's looking at me like, I watch you sleep. Why would I be around when you're asleep?

Just like those first like couple of months we were on tour and we shared hotel rooms. Yeah. I guess that would be it. I'm sure I've napped around you before. No. All right. Maybe not. Um, so we just got back from doing.

you took me on my fourth summer in Dewey Beach. It's my favorite thing in the world. Is it really? Yeah, because we did go last year too. Yeah, we went to do, we were just like an abbreviated family vacation. We just stayed at my brother's house because, like, it was so hard. What?

You did. Okay. Okay, well, we'll talk about it. But like, we didn't rent a house like we usually do. The inventory was really low. It's just crazy down there. It's crazy in every beach town this year or the summer. But, yeah, it was really great.

I did the comedy show at the Starbird on Tuesday. So many girls' gotie fans were there. It was really fun. It was such a good time. My friend Christine, who was a great comedian, she started that show in Dewey at the Starboard because she's from Delaware to like seven years ago or something. Like she's been doing it every summer for like seven or eight years.

Casey Balsham was on the show also who's been on our show. And it was just such a blast. And we like went to the beach. We had some great dinners. It was just like a fun trip. Yeah, it was less lit. We usually get there on Saturday morning and then get super lit Saturday night all day Sunday.

It was more of a family vacation. We didn't even do. a jam session at the cork the summer, which is fine. It's just, it's, it is a lot more crowded down there. But we still got there and had like some some really fun times. But yeah, so my brother has a big house. He has three spare bedrooms. So I have my bedroom that's like where I always stay and like I've, you know, upgraded the bedding. We've got to get that buffy on there. And then he has two extra bedrooms. My parents like don't like to share a bedroom with my dad snores really loud, whatever. So they usually have their own bedrooms. And so we were kind of full for two nights. And the

Matt's friends came. So it was like a whole thing. So for two of the four nights, we needed to figure out what to do with you and Louisa. And I was like chatting with Matt about it. And he was like, well, my neighbor, I'm not going to say her name, but she said that they can stay over there. He has these elder neighbors. Were they 70? 70 plus? Oh, they're older. My parents for sure. Yeah. They're in their 70s. They're so cool. They was cute little dog. And they just offered to have you guys stay over there. So you guys stayed at the next door neighbor's house. It's like elderly couple. It was so sweet. Also like we like snuck in. late at night, like tiptoeing in every morning. They like, after we wanted a coffee, it was so nice. It's just funny because, like, I was laughing because, like, so many of my friends have, like, houses and three kids and a husband. And, like, I'm that age.

I'm just sleeping at the neighbor's house on vacation. It was so funny. No, but they were so cool. They were like, just to come in late. We don't care if we're sleeping. Like, it could have been nicer. They were, yeah, they're, like, they were super cool. They just have, like, great energy.

But it was just very funny. We put you guys over with the neighbor's house and then we brought you back over when my mom and dad left. Well, it was really nice of you to do it. I always feel like I'm part of the family. I really knew I was part of the family. It just made me laugh. It's just like a little anecdote.

But like your family always makes me feel so welcome and I love them so much and so warm. And there's this like one morning that like we were all hanging out. It was like Matt and your parents and me and you and Louisa was next door talking the neighbors. But you went to yoga and your mom wanted to go shopping. So you guys left and Matt went to work. And then it was just me and your dad.

So I walked into the living room and I was like, well, Lee, it's just me and you. He looked at me without. saying anything picked up a magazine and just walked outside. No. What a dick. And it really, more so than like your family taking me on trips, spending Christmas with them, more so than anything they've done for me, that made me feel like I was part of the family. Nothing like someone's dad just not even, not even acknowledging you.

He didn't acknowledge you? Nope. Just dead silent, walked outside. I don't care. I, that's what my dad would do. You felt right at home. I felt right at home. My dad would, my dad would look at me and just walk outside.

He would be like, I've done so much for you in your life. I don't have to talk to you. That is so funny. He just wanted to make you feel like you were his other daughter. Yeah, I love him. Oh, my God. Go off, King. So that was it.

Drew was great. Another summer on the books. I know. You recommended The White Lotus, and then we started watching it, like the last night and Dewey, just two episodes. And I finished yesterday,

and I do love it. So I just need to recommend that, too. Everybody's watching this. I feel like it's like the hot take. It's a breakout show of the summer. But I know we told you guys we'd stop watching things at different times, but we did. So I watched it when I was in Seattle a couple weeks ago.

And the finale was on Sunday. So you actually watched it at the perfect time. So you could catch it. I totally benched it. I mean, I'm just backed up on TV because I've been doing stand-up so much. So I just don't like sit and watch TV a lot. And I say that in the way that like I miss it. Like I need to come back on my stand-up, honestly.

I keep saying Ashley and I are like living our truth. Like Ashley must have plans all the time and I want to have zero plans any of the time. So she's working every night. She's working these streets. I'm working out of the streets. But I have a book I'm reading though, actually. This is, but I feel like this is not how to take it all. This book got like so many incredible reviews, bestseller, all the things.

But it's called Such a Fun Age. And it is by Kylie Reed. It came out in 2019. Just what it says on Google. It tells the story of a young black woman who was wrongly accused of kidnapping while babysitting a white child in the events that followed the incident. That is accurate, but that kind of makes. seem like it could be like a crime sort of vibe, and it's not. It's more so about the dynamic between

this young black woman and her boss, who she's like basically a nanny babysitter. All these characters are kind of tied together in a crazy way, and I'm kind of midway through the book and I'm just like really loving it. Again, I just feel like so many people have read this book. It's really not like some under the under the radar thing, but I am loving it. All right. Such a fun age. Kylie Reed. I need a new book. It's really great. I need a new book. It takes place in Philly. So Philly. That's my rec. Talk around. My rack is hacks.

I watched it on an HBO max. It's about basically like an aging, a comedian who's aging out. She's like a residency in Las Vegas and she hires this young comedian who's gotten sort of canceled to write jokes for her. And it's just about their dynamic, this like comedian in her like 70s and this like young girl. And the girl who plays Ava, her name is Hannah, she's so great. She's just a great actress.

I think she's fantastic. It's a light watch. It's easy to have on in the background. It's a good show. It's written well. It's not going to like change your life. But it's a good show. Yeah, I have been wanting to watch it.

Maybe I'll watch it tonight. I have a night off. Are you going to cook Halifresh? No, I don't have Hellifresh right now. Because you add all this pasta. I'm done. My shipping comes on Monday. We're recording this literally Friday before the weekend.

Before the episode comes out. I'm going to order sushi tonight. I only have two nights to myself before King gets here. So I'm going to really lean in and do nothing. I love doing nothing. Soke it up. Who knows how long he'll stay. I hope he never leaves.

I love attention, you guys. I just want somebody on top of me all the time. So happy for you. Thank you. Oh my God. I wish, I just have to read this and then we can get into it. But I thought this was so funny. I texted Kane happy birthday on a group chat and just had some like funny things to say to him that I want herena to read.

I c-seed Raina on Kane's happy birthday text basically. And we. but it's not important, but they start like kind of being like lovey-dovey in front of me on this text. And I was like, oh my God. He started it. He started. I couldn't exit the text. I couldn't leave the conversation.

I don't know why because it was only three people. Like I went to leave the conversation to like kind of be funny too. So it would say like Ashley has left the conversation. Yeah. Oh, you guys said the same thing. And Kane wrote, holy shit, babe, we're the same. And I was like, oh my God. And I just tried to leave this conversation.

And I couldn't. And then Rita was like, I know we are, honey. And I'm like, this is disgusting. I was like starting to be like, I got to get out of here. And then. Like you and our agent don't flirt. And then, oh my God, Rina.

And Rana goes. And then Cain, I think Rana was ready to be done with it. It was like, just a two line joke. Kane comes back in. Raina, honey, aren't we the best couple in the world? And then Rana goes, Cain, I will sex with you privately somewhere else. Don't make it weird.

After Ashley made you a nice picture. Because I made him like a collage. And I wrote back at all caps, thank you, Raina. I was low-key panicking. I was like, if they just start this and I can't leave. Listen.

Like, I feel like I was just trying to, I was like about to cuck you guys. Listen, I love him, but you got here first, okay? I'm trying to like side with him in front of you. Relax. Go off, queen. Okay, guys, we are really excited today to introduce a really cool guest for you. She is a psychotherapist. She specializes in relationship coaching, relationship astrology consultations,

sex therapy and dream analysis. we are so excited to get into it with her today. Please welcome to the show, Kara Cottrell. Thank you so much. I'm really honored to be here and excited to share all this juicy information with everyone. I too. We are so excited. We actually found you.

Well, we found you through Kelly, a former guest of ours. But Raina, I think this was even your idea. She were like, let's do some dream stuff. And we asked Kelly. But it's funny because Raina has been a little less on board with anything like astrology related, kind of woo-woo, you know, like subconscious stuff. And she's slowly kind of come over to that side throughout the course of this podcast. So we're both fully on board.

We just, we love this shit. Me too. Yeah. And you're, yeah, we love talking to you when we first got introduced to you. And you're coming to us from North Carolina today on a Saturday. So thank you. Do you want to just tell us a little about what you? I mean, Raina gave you the brief intro, but what you really specialize in, what people come to you with and what you're tackling the most in your practice and day to day.

Sure. So I'm a Jungian psychotherapist primarily, and I do specialize in dream work and sex therapy and astrology and relationships. And so what most people come to me about is recurring dreams or if they're having some kind of repetitive nightmares, they're having sexual issues that show up in their dreams. they just want answers. So I kind of help people bring things that are in the unconscious out into consciousness so that we can work with them and make changes in their lives. So let's talk about that, like how much to dreams matter. Give us an overview of someone's like, I don't understand dreams. You know, like it's kind of the dreams for dummies.

How will we just start with the American Psychological Association's definition will be official? This is like a winning speech. The dictionary is Heinz love. Right. So I think the first thing we're going to start with is how they're both physiological and psychological in nature. So they obviously occur when we're sleeping. And they can produce sensory experiences, motor, emotional. So we can actually have physical responses in our dreams. People might say like, oh, I totally sat up in my dream. And legs can move around. People can sleepwalk while they're dreaming. So it's really when we're dreaming, we're entering. into a different state of consciousness

than when we are awake. So some would say that our ego state is kind of sleeping. So it allows more things about ourselves that we may not be conscious of to show up. Okay. So parts that might be repressed, desires, traumas, yes.

Instincts, talents, like creative talents that we didn't know we have. sometimes show up in our dreams as well. Okay. And this is a weird question, but are there dreams that just don't matter? They don't mean anything. You know, like, how do you know the difference? Like, how do you decide if, is it just kind of how it makes you feel the next day?

You know, like, are there dreams that we have that just like don't mean anything? You know, I had a dream that I was like a mechanic. That doesn't mean I want to switch careers. You know what I mean? That's a really good question. I get that one a lot. So we don't really want to take dreams literally because psyche is often speaks through the language of metaphor and symbol. So when you have a dream like you were a mechanic, it's not meant to be taken literal.

We would want to be able to say like, well, I would say to you, what do you associate with a mechanic? And the associations are the most important thing about dream analysis because books and the internet kind of give you a general. description. But what's most important is what your association with the mechanic is and what kind of feelings it brings up for you. Okay. I happen to that dream. So I was just giving it a couple of. Yeah. But just that's a great example though, because people do get a lot of career kind of dreams. And they'll say, well, I have no desire to do that. Well, we're not meant to take it literally. So and somebody might have like you might say, I dreamt of a red ball and your neighbor might dream of a red ball and have completely different associations with it.

So we always want to go with your own association first. Last night, I had a dream that I had sex with Leonardo DiCaprio. And I was trying to remember, well, I mean, I do want to have sex with Leonardo DiCaprio. Really? Yeah, I would hit it, like, if he was around. But, um, me too. Netflix suggested three movies to me yesterday and two of them were Leo movies. And so, like, that's just why, right?

Like, it's not deeper than that. I think he was just like on my mind. And then I fucked him in my dreams. Well, okay. So let's talk about residual. like residual material from the day. Okay. So think of all the things that you see here,

smell, taste all throughout the day. You don't dream about all of it, but you might dream about one thing. And so what that would tell me is there's something about that one thing that made its way into your mind while you were sleeping. That something in it resonates with you.

It has some kind of an effect. on you. So in that case, now because I'm a Jungian therapist, I'm going to be talking about things like archetypes. And so that dream that you had, Leonardo might be your animus, like your masculine counterpart that you really want to merge with. So it's not necessarily meant to be taken literally, although we could because you would love to have sex with them. But if we were looking at it metaphorically, it could also mean like your potential, like who you are in terms of your potential. Okay. Can you define something? Because I don't know what Jungian means. Yeah. So what does that mean? What do you specialize in? So Jungian psychoanalysis or psychotherapy

is, it comes after Carl Jung, who was a psychiatrist, who's most of his work was around working with the unconscious and archetypes and symbols and the shadow. So it's just, it's just like a form of therapy that is drawn from a particular person who founded it. Which was Connor, studied his work. Okay. Another,

men's coach, therapist type that people loved on our, and he talked a lot about the shadow. He talked, he was talking about men specifically. Well, let's dive into some of the meat of like the main things people asked about. Two things are like exes and sex.

Those can kind of blend. together a little bit. But I'd love to start with sex. Like just repressed desires. I mean, what do you see a lot? We understand you can't just kind of do these blanket statements because everybody's completely different and they're having different dreams and they all mean different things. But people wanted that to hear about that and sex dreams and even just some of experiences of what you see with clients. Yeah. Well, sex is fun to talk about. And if we were, if we were talking about Freud, Freud would say that sex is at the base. of like everything we think, say, do believe and desire. So, you know, when we look at sex

dreams, you want to look at it both literally and symbolically like I just did with you. And to see, you know, are there some desires that maybe you're not willing to talk about? Is there something about yourself that you're wanting to connect to? So is there a creative potential? Is there something that's been kind of pushed aside in our conditioning that one, to come out and have expression. So we can look at sex as just like another way of connection, like another word. We could say like you're wanting to connect with this part of yourself. Okay. And people asked a couple of different things. Maybe we can like talk about it in different buckets. But sex with your ex came up. Sex with somebody you'd quote unquote never sleep with

like a same sex partner or somebody you think you're not attracted to. So something that came up a lot was I have a partner, but I'm dreaming about sleeping with my ex. Yeah. So when I would want to ask all kinds of questions about that relationship and whether or not there was still some longing or some desire unfinished, like it never got closure. And so that's kind of from a literal standpoint. We can also use it metaphorically, and this is going to get a little deep, but a lot of times in relationships we're projecting our own unconscious potential into the other person, and we're not even aware that we're doing it. So when we start dreaming about people or our ex-executive, is, for example, there can be like a little bit of an obsessive quality that can be showing itself.

But that would be work for therapy then because I would want to say, well, what is it about this partner that you are, you know, what kind of traits does this partner have that you really want to be embodying, but you're just not aware of it? So we're working with it. It's like something is coming up from the unconscious that wants to be seen and noticed. Okay. We talked about astral dreams before with another guest we had on. We actually just touched on them. We didn't really like dive in so deeply. But after that, I had a lot of dreams about my ex. And they felt so real. They felt like I woke up and felt like I spent time with him. Like it was kind of, and you had a few too right around that time that just felt like unbelievably real, like more

than any other dream that like those probably people wake up and they're like, wow, like what did that mean and why did that feel so real? Well, because it could be like a compensation. You know, like it was something that maybe really did need to happen, but wouldn't have happened in waking state. So you finish the job, so to speak, while you're sleeping. Stuff like having sex with somebody, you're like, oh my God, I never would have had sex to that person ever.

Like, what does that mean? Like, you wake up and you like fucked your friend that you're not interested in or somebody of the same sex that you wouldn't normally sleep with. Like, what does that mean? So I would say in that regard, when I was, when I'm working with somebody, I would ask them about history, like historically speaking and whether or not, like, let's just say it's the same sex situation where the person's like, oh my God, I would never do that. So I look at dreams from two angles. One is let's just look at it literally for a moment. And the second angle would be, okay, well, let's look at it metaphorically in the terms of connection.

So we can replace the word sex with connection. So what is it that you want to connect with with that? person or how does that person live in you? Because in Jungian analysis, we look at everyone and everything in the dream as an aspect of self. So it could be that you're wanting to connect again with those traits within yourself. It could be repressed sexuality that we need to address. That does come up sometimes. So I want to make sure that I'm not like making it a black or white thing. it really, we want to look at all of it. We want to look at the literal and the metaphorical.

And then in relationships, do you see a lot of couples who are, maybe you meet with one partner of the couple that are just unsatisfied in their relationship and that's coming out in their dreams and their subconscious? Yep. That's definitely, that's pretty common. Okay. And so again, we could say, well, that's a compensation. Because maybe you've signed up for a monogamous relationship and you have that commitment.

And so you're living within that boundary. So then what will happen is the imagination, any desires that are coming up, you'll be able to fulfill them during dreaming so that you don't necessarily have to act out on that if that was something you didn't really want to do. And then in your practice, will you guide someone to the next step,

like how to discuss this with your partner and how to realize it within yourself? Yes. And in fact, when I do couples work, it's really interesting to do dream work with couples because we ask for total transparency. So we're often able to address issues that have been around for a long time and maybe have been causing resentment.

Like resentment is so common in relationships, right? Especially when you've been in a long-term situation. So we can really get down deep into things that we would not see in waking consciousness, but that we can definitely get to through the unconscious. Okay. Do you encourage people to like wake up or write a dream down right away? And like as a couple or as an individual they'd come with like that journal.

Do you find that to be like helpful for people? Yep. I mean, I consider it like a spiritual practice, you know, where I ask them to put a little book light on a dream journal and have some pens handy that they only use for journaling their dreams and to keep everything really close because, you know, as you probably know, once you wake up, the dream is often gone. So I say things like try not to move. much, try not to get up and go to the bathroom, like literally grab that dream as best as you

can and write as much as detail as you can down, even if it seems silly or mundane. I'd love to talk about the levels of the way that the dream feels. And maybe this goes into like the lucid dreams or the astral dreams. Because sometimes you have a dream. I might have a dream and I remember it completely, but it didn't like affect me in any way or feel any type of way. And then I have other dreams that stay with me all day, you know, like, like Rain and I will wake up and we'll be like,

we've got in this huge fight or you know, you hear a couple say that all the time. Like, you know, I woke up and I looked at my partner and I had a dream he cheated on me and I was actually mad at him, you know, or I saw my ex and now I miss my ex. And,

you know, what is that about? Like, why are some so much more, you feel them so much deeper than others? I think a lot of it has to do with just how we're affected by it. So cheating dreams are really challenging to get into because, I mean, I've been doing this work for over 25 years and there are so many times that

people come to me with cheating dreams and it turns out the person was actually cheating. I just got killed. That is so crazy. I'm not kidding. You know what I think? Like I think that we always say like you can sort of feel it when your partner is like one foot out and you can feel it when like the person that you love is not acting the way the person you love normally acts. And so your mind is saying to you like something is wrong. You know? Yeah. There's, some importance there, right? Like, pay attention. Wake up, wake up, pay attention, see this. So one of the first questions I always ask is how did, how did you feel in the dream? So I kind of have a structure to how I work with dreams. And that's, and if it's a negative feeling, if they're like,

oh, I felt horrible, like I felt sad and afraid and angry, then I start getting into, well, what was the unmet need in that dream? Like, because all negative emotions just tell us that we have unmet needs. And so often we don't really talk about that. We just talk about the emotion. So the dream is like a story or a movie, a drama, if you will, that we can work with. And if we're into lucid dreaming, we can really do some cool stuff because we can actually change our reality and heal through lucid dreaming. What is that exactly? That's lucid dreaming. Yeah. So lucid dreaming is when we are partially conscious while we're in the dream. So there are lots of techniques to do that.

In fact, there's somebody in San Francisco that specializes in that and helping people with repetitive nightmares use lucid dreaming to confront the nightmare. And some of these people that have PTSD after just a few lucid dream episodes, the nightmares stop. Okay. We can have that on our own, right? Like, I feel like I've had those moments where I know that I'm still awake, but I'm dreaming. It's usually, I feel like when I'm really tired, like, I know I'm still awake.

I could, like, get up and move, but I'm kind of having a dream. Is that it sort of? Yeah. So sometimes. In between state. Yeah. It can sometimes happen spontaneously. And then there is science that shows us that there are techniques we can do to make that happen more often.

Okay. And I don't know, like, I mean, I don't know if you're like a brain scientist, but like, Ashley was saying in terms of like, I guess I'm maybe using the word lucid the wrong way. Maybe it is like astral dreams that just feel so, so, so real. After we had an episode with somebody to miss me, Ashley was having astral dreams.

And me for the last like two weeks, I've been having them like consistently, almost every night where like I wake up and they stick with me for a while. I feel like I was there. It really happened. And like it's been happening. It almost never happens to me and it's been consistent.

So is there like a reason why that might happen? Like are you on your strap? Okay, so stress, yes. Okay, like a real strong emotion. With astral dreaming where there's a lot of intense emotion, it feels really real, but you're not aware that you're dreaming. I would say that that is, again, it's just like that is something really important to you, something that you're trying to work out, something you're trying to address,

maybe heal from, trying to get some kind of action or momentum at it. And then with the lucid dreaming, that's like, where all of a sudden maybe a dinosaur is chasing you and you turn around, you go, oh, wait a minute, this is a dream. Dinosaur, I don't even need to like, just get out of here. You kick it or you push it out of the way and the dinosaur is gone. Okay. And then I want to come back to the cheating a little bit because, sorry.

Like, I just don't point people to be like, I knew he was cheating, you know. So do you have, we're not asking you to like reveal personal information by your clients, but what could be an example of having really intense? cheating dreams with a partner that is not cheating, that's being completely faithful. Like, is that just something internal that you're trying to connect with or that you're worried about? I mean, I know there can be multiple interpretations, but no, it absolutely can be. So I'm, you know, not always, um, has it been that way where the person was cheating. It has been a lot. Um, but there are times when there's maybe just a fear of that coming up.

Like, I'm just to, like, he's been acting or she's been acting different or insecurities. especially if somebody has like anxious attachment, they might have fear that their partner is just always going to leave them. And so we would work through that on a more individual level. The cheating thing is so interesting to me that you said oftentimes it is true. And I think that that is so important. Like we are discarding what we know in real life because if it comes to fruition so often, then like we really do know in real life that it's happening. And your dream has to tell you that it's that you're not wrong. Yeah. It's like that naive part. Like what part of us, This inner child wants to just remain naive, like magical, right?

I don't want to have to like face reality. Oftentimes our dreams are like, even though they're dreams, they're trying to help us get into reality more. It's like a paradox, right? Like weird. How is this thing coming through my dream? And yet it's directly impacting like my, it wants me to like wake up and become like face reality.

Uh-huh. I don't think I've ever, cheating dreams have never been something I've really struggled with. I don't think that Ashley and I, I mean, we have our own issues in romantic relationships, but neither of us sort of suffer from like the anxious attachment style where we've been cheated on really badly and think everybody's going to do it to us, thankfully. But I mean, I had an ex that I was just like we were still communicated and I kind of, I don't know, I was so worried he was going to move on and I had a dream about it that he did. And he was had a new partner and he did.

And I found it like a week later and I was like, I dreamed that. Like, I knew it. I mean, I wish it wasn't, I wish I wasn't sitting here saying that it happened. happens a lot, but it does. I think you're smart. I think you felt it. And I think it was a real possibility. And I think that like, you know, sometimes we won't consciously acknowledge what we know subconsciously. Do you see that where it's something you're almost like afraid to face or afraid to admit that you know to be true or you feel is true? And then it comes up in dreams. Yes. And that's like another

good definition, right, of how dreams affect us in terms of is it something we're not willing to see. And so this dream maker, right, or psyche, like, you know, is communicating to us. It's like, there's this part of us that seems to be all knowing that is trying to communicate something. So I always look at dreams as helpers. And one of my biggest questions is, how is this dream trying to help you? What is the message? What is the wisdom? Maybe you just need to pay more attention. It could be as simple as that. Or it could be like you need to face something that you really are not willing to see that's pretty serious. Okay. I want to go back to the X thing just because that was so overwhelming what people said and ask, because you said sometimes people have cheating dreams

and they, their partner's cheating. Do you see people who are dreaming about their ex and they really want to be back with them? And that's what it means. And it's like explicit and they call them up and reconnect. Yeah. So gosh, there's so many different things we could say about it. but I'll just go off with some of the things you mentioned. So unrequitted love, right? Like maybe one person really loves the other person, wants to be in a relationship with them, and the other person's just not interested.

So there's this strong desire, right? That's like playing itself out in the dream. Other times, yeah, it can be like, somebody might have a dream where they're meeting somebody somewhere, and for the first time, they're like, I don't know who this person is, but I feel all this connection for this person. And then months later, they meet somebody who isn't an exact replication of what showed up in the dream, but the characteristics might be the same or approximately where they met.

But that's more like a premonition dream then. So that does happen. Yeah. I was going to ask again because people. Yeah, people ask a lot. And I think it doesn't necessarily mean you're unhappy. I actually, an ex of mine, appeared in my dream a couple days ago. And sexually, I'm very attracted to him as a person, but in no other way.

Like my current partner is wonderful. I couldn't be happier. He's emotionally wonderful. And the sex is great, too. So I don't feel like I'm like lacking anything. I haven't seen him in three weeks, so I'm lacking sex. But my ex appeared in my dream, who I just on a baseline, I'm just sexually attracted to. And I woke up just feeling like bad that I had a dream about.

him. But personally, I don't feel like day to day. I don't feel like there's anything missing in my relationship and I don't miss that person at all for one second. I don't think about him at all. But there's a desire. So instead of acting on it in waking life, you went ahead and acted on it in dreaming life to satisfy the desire. And that's again, fantasy. I mean, thank goodness we have that. I think fantasy is a great way to be able to explore even like taboos, right? Like a lot of of people would love to be able to engage in certain taboos, but they would never do it in real life, but they can do it in their dreams. Do you see people be able to bring it to life after kind of talking to you about it? I mean, I don't like kinks and stuff. I mean, do you see that? Do you see

someone like coming to you like, I had this crazy thing? And then they're able to, that was almost like the gateway that they did. Yes. Okay. That's cool. Because it was safer there, right? Right. There's a safety to being able to like, wow, I had this thing, this kink dream play itself out. And I don't even know where to start with something like that. Or maybe they saw something that triggered it in the dream, like in waking life, that triggered it in the dream. And so then I will usually help them be able to pursue those things if that's something that they desire to do in waking life. Some people won't. They'll say, no, no, no, it was good in the dream.

I don't need to do anything more. And others are like, I would love to try. try that. We have said in several episodes that a great way to introduce new types of sex or new kinks in the bedroom is saying, I had a dream, whether it's not, whether it's true or not. I had to dream about this. Isn't that so crazy? Would you ever want to try that? And that's a great gateway, I think, to be like, you want to try about stuff? Yes, it's a wonderful gateway. And it can inspire a conversation between people and couples and their relationships. And, you know, we can be playful and say, well, it was just a dream.

That's the thing. Like we talked to Dr. Ian Kerner and he was like, you kind of blame it on your subconscious. Because you don't want to be embarrassed. You don't want to be shamed, which your partner shouldn't be shaming you. But you could always be like, yeah, it was whatever. That was just. It doesn't mean anything.

It was just a dream. But those of us that work in dreams know differently, right? We say like, I always say be careful what you share in a dream because it's like you're standing there naked in front of somebody who would know how to interpret that. But, I mean, why not look into your dreams to see like all the different parts of yourself? I mean, we have so many different parts. We have so many different desires.

And we are very conditioned from a very small age, right? So the conditioning kind of acts like a block sometimes against these other parts that just didn't really get a chance to express themselves. So the dream is going to give us access to those parts and encourage us to be able to develop a more whole self, even if it disappoints people when we come out about it. Okay. Is a dream that has a bodily response? Does it mean anything more than like if you really wake up crying, crying, coming, sweating. I mean, I get nice sweats anyway, but like what's that about? You know, like if, yeah, I've got a quote up crying. It's always when my parents die. If I have a fight with Ashley or my parents die in a dream, I wake up crying. But is there, is it just because it's on a more

emotional level that it evokes like the actual response of what's happening. I mean, I think that's a crazy thing to have a dream where you're crying and you wake up and you're like, I am crying. Yeah, because that's what dreams are. Dreams evoke emotions, physical responses. It's really, you know, there's just a small thread between waking and dreaming. And some people would say that our dreaming is just as much a reality of our waking state. It's just that we pay more attention to our waking state then we do our dreaming state. That is, I like that question, like the physical response. Because like I've never thought about it.

But yeah, some dreams I like wake up and I'll like immediately like masturbate after the dream or I'll wake up crying. Like there is like a response. Well, is that why like boys, they have like wet dreams because they're going through puberty? Like it's such a big part of their life. It's like sexual awakening. So they're like going to ejaculate. Yeah. Well, right.

And we can talk about hormones, right? We can talk about desires. So if there's a lot of testosterone. thrown pumping through the body at that age and there's lots of desire, then yeah, like, why not, right? Like, why not have these kinds of real physical dreams and responses? It's healthy. Have you ever had a dream that, well, I don't know.

I'm single and I've had dreams throughout the years where it's like I just had some incredible love story met some amazing person in my dream. And it's like, to wake up is so upsetting. Like, you just want to go back to the dream. Like, is there a way to ever go back or is it over? what is it over when you wake up? Have you had those moments where I'm like, if I could just... It's usually I'm at like the most

fun event, like a summer camp, but I don't want camped in. I'm like, let's go back to sleep. Be at camp again. Yeah. Yeah. Can I just go back and live in that fantasy world? I mean, so fantasies, right? Another way that we can fulfill desire is maybe at that moment you really needed that feeling and you needed to have that experience. Also, though,

and this is really more of the like psychoanalytic standpoint point is what part of you does that represent that you're so desperately wanting to connect with? So I would want to know more about this person who showed up. You know, is it your animus counterpart, right? Is it something about you that you need to look at and incorporate into your waking life? So not necessarily taken literally, but there's a desire for deep connection with that part of yourself that might be more unconscious. I like that you said that too of like thinking how it made you feel.

Like do you see that a lot where someone could be like, I had the straight. about this thing and the way it made me feel and my dream made me want that in real life. Oh yeah. Like for example, when somebody might say sort of sheepishly, they might say, oh, I have this dream to tell you about and I'm really embarrassed to tell you, but I had my first full body orgasm in this dream, right? And I say, right on. You know, it's like, that's great. Like celebrate it. I mean, again, I'm going to say like, why not? It felt really good. And it also might be a premonition into what will come in your wake life. And I might even say, well, heck yeah. Like, how about you start, you know, let's work on that in your

waking life to help you bring that from the unconscious into consciousness. And if it's not happening, what are the blocks that are in your mind while you're awake that were not there when you were sleeping? I wonder how much consistency plays into this. Like, like I said, like sometimes, throughout the years, I'll have very vivid dreams, but like recently I've been having them consistently, like every night for a couple weeks. So I wonder, like, Like, if you would say, like, okay, so if Ashley is a dream once that that happens, maybe it's a nothing, but if it's three, four times in a row in a week or something, then like, maybe you would recommend journaling about it more or something, like, just to feel a little bit

better. Oh, I would recommend journaling about it and talking to somebody who knows about dreams about it. Because if you're having it more than one time, it means you're not getting the message. Well, let's talk about recurring dreams. Yeah. Obviously, it came up a ton. and a couple things came up a lot, like teeth falling out.

And I wrote one more now, oh, failing tests. And Ashley and I have ones we'll talk to you about, but it came up constantly like why. And I guess I asked a little bit ago about consistency of dreams. But let's talk about why people have these throughout the years, their whole life, you know? Right, like years. Like I've been having the same fucking dreams for a decade. Yeah. Well, and that's one of the questions I would ask somebody.

I would say, do you have any recurring themes that show up? And people will say, oh, I cannot tell you how many times I still have dreams that I'm failing a test in school. And I'm not even in school anymore, they'll say. All the time for me. Yeah. And so almost every time we can trace some kind of, I call it the tap root of the dream to something in childhood. Like there was some moment when there was a lot of pressure or maybe you did fail a test or maybe you have this tendency to always feel like you're not prepared. So think about like a neuro pathway that's like stuck on repeat.

It's like the path of least resistance, you know, and it's just this thing that you keep doing. And so that's a great thing to tackle in terms of like working on it with active imagination. And that's where you're going back into the dream while you're awake with me. And I say, let's go back to that time. You're in the classroom. You're failing the test or you're showing up late. And I have you go back and retell me the dream as if you're, you're successfully completing it.

And then, yeah, so it's a way to, like, be able to change that stuck on repeat, thought process, behavior pattern, expectation, if you will. Do you think a lot of people, like, you think things you didn't task, you didn't complete, things you didn't finish? Do you think because a lot of people went to school, we all have this like shared experience, that's how it manifests itself? Like, everybody has that, like, that I just didn't study. I didn't prepare.

It's the end of the school year. I'm failing all my finals. like I didn't go to class. Is it because we like all share the experience of school kind of? Like everybody has these. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't say I would say that some people have them more than others.

But definitely. So that just tell like, like I said, we go back into childhood and we say like, yeah, did you have a lot of pressure in in college or high school? And a lot of people say yes. So intense emotional experiences, I say create divets in our brain where we get like a scratch on a record. Like it just keeps getting hung up there and keeps getting hung up there. So the more intense, the emotion, the more like the deeper the divot and the more likely we are

to repeat that same thing over and over again. So that's where psychoanalysis can really be helpful in using the dream. It's like, okay, well, you're still having this traumatic experience in your dreams, but that's not really what's even happening in your life right now. So what is the message for you today? Why is that dream coming up for you right now? that's super important to try to figure out. I mean, mine is so, it's recurring for years.

It is. It is like the, sometimes, I feel like sometimes it's high school, sometimes it's college and it's finals and I haven't gone to class all semester. And I can't really figure out why I haven't been going to class. I just haven't, it's like it snuck up on me. Like all of a sudden it's finals and I haven't gone to class. That being said, I was a straight A student. My entire life school was really easy for me. I killed it at school.

Like I never missed a class. I was never absent. I mean, a couple times I was hung over. But like I got, I mean, I graduated college with the three nine. I was a, you know, school was like my jam. It wasn't, I didn't, I guess maybe I had internal pressure, but like my parents weren't just were like she's got it. Like I didn't feel that.

So it's so interesting to me. It has to translate to my professional career and like a lack of feeling prepared in some way or I'm not doing enough maybe. which I can understand that. You know, Raina knows I just, especially recently, I felt really overwhelmed and like can't get everything done. But it's so funny to have that school dream because it was the exact opposite of my experience.

I didn't get an A, you know, or like didn't feel prepared for a test ever, you know. But that's where the metaphor comes in handy, right? Because it's not literal. But like you just did a good job interpreting it yourself right there when you were saying, I feel overwhelmed right now, I might not be really prepared. You know, maybe that, maybe that part of yourself, that all knowing part of yourself is sort of wanting you to look at that and say, like, are you taking on too much? Do you have too much

responsibility? Are you over identifying with your achievements? And maybe you're expecting yourself to be perfect, all of these different things that we could go into that are more personal to you. They're deeply personal and maybe not as general. Another one that we both have a lot. Mine might be a little bit different, but is that I have live show nightmares a lot. Ashley and I perform a lot that we didn't do an outline for the show.

We didn't prepare any jokes, and I'm about to walk on stage with her. We look at each other, and we're like, we didn't prepare anything, and we have a huge fight. And, like, that is my recurring dream, which is also funny because Ashley and I hyper-prepared for these shows. We're always ready. We put a lot of effort and energy into making sure that the outline is written. We also are great off the cuff, even if there isn't like,

if we don't stick to the outline and we never have a fight and then walk on stage. Like, it's just not something that happens. But we both have those dreams a lot. I don't know. Is yours different than mine? It's similar. But I usually, when I have it, I usually do feel like the live shows are sneaking up on us and we're going to feel stressed and unprepared.

Like I feel like I can usually track it. I'm like, okay, but I actually am feeling this way on some level. I actually am feeling like, well, shit, they're two weeks away. We haven't, you know, done things that we need to do. Like, I just tend to get a little more like anxious and stress than Raina. And she's like, we're going to get it all done. We're going to get it all done. But I'm like, I'm ready to retire.

Like, I don't want to be this busy. Like, we did. We were successful enough. No, I'm just kidding. Sort of. But no, I mean, it's kind of I, those are a little more easy for me to understand. And it's like we've, we booked a whole tour. And I feel like, how are we going to do all these shows?

They're going to stress this out. Like, I can usually, I feel like I know where it's coming from. But yes, we have a very similar dream. Yeah. I guess you're right. I never thought about tracking it to which shows. Like, there are certainly some shows where I just feel like we're killing it in life. Everything is set.

We don't have a lot going on. And there's other ones where I'm like, shit, we have too much stuff coming up, too many commitments. Maybe that might have them. I mean, that would be fun to pay attention to. Like what is it, why at that moment and not other times? Mm-hmm. The teeth falling out.

I mean, I actually used to have it all the time. That was probably my teeth was my most recurring dream before the school stuff. And I have not had it in so long. Is that different for everybody? Or does that kind of have a theme? Yeah, so teeth falling out, we can pretty confidently link to anxiety. But then I take it a step further because if you think about it, when you're a baby and you're developing and you're moving to these next stages of development, what usually happens?

Teeth fall out. Okay? Oh, okay. Yeah. So oftentimes when people are bringing those kinds of dreams to me, we usually can because I say, why now? Right? That's a big question.

Ask yourself, why now? And almost always I can trace it back to some kind of. of a developmental shift, something that has to happen for the soul to grow to take the next step. And there might be some resistance to it, which is causing this unconscious anxiety. And then afraid of the teeth falling out. Like, I'm afraid to, I'm afraid to grow. I'm afraid to go on to the next stage of development. It's interesting that you associate it with stages of development because I've heard people say it

means that you're pregnant or you want to be pregnant. That is a huge next stage of life. So it would make sense that for some people, it does mean that you, you're trying to get pregnant or you just got pregnant, something like that. Yeah, I'm really glad you brought that up because you can see how different that is for people, right? So, yeah, that's why we always want to find out, like, what is happening in that life? And even when you're working with somebody over the long term, you can see themes coming up. Like, oh, this is somebody who typically tends to have a hard time, like moving on to the next stage or something like that.

So we do. That's such an important question to ask, like, why is that? happening right now and what and what are you resistant to? And has there been other things in your dreams that have given us clues? Like maybe the person was having dreams about being pregnant and isn't really pregnant. And then the teeth start falling out in the dreams to show that there's some anxiety about it. And then nightmares and night terrors. I mean, is that that typically linked to trauma? Yes. It usually deep trauma. It's usually linked to trauma. Now where it gets a little complicated. And I think epigenetics has been discussing this more, but we can sometimes have traumatic

dreams that are linked with traumas of our ancestors. And their traumas follow us through our memory in the unconscious. So I've had people who have had like repetitive, young people have had like repetitive Holocaust kind of dreams. And then they find out that a lot of the things that were happening in the dream were things that happened to their age. ancestors, but they've never gone through that. Oh, wow. Wow. I've got dreams where somebody holds me down. I've never been, like, to my knowledge, sexually assaulted in a dream, but like the implication is there that I'm going to be or that somebody's holding me down. And it's never happened to me, thank God. But it is a fear of mine. I live alone. I'm a female. I

live alone in New York City. You know, it is a fear that it could happen. So it can be fear, right? It can be a trauma that happened when you were pre-verbal maybe, like maybe holding you down to give you medicine or something and just don't remember it. It can also be, here's something kind of interesting is when we have dreams where people are trying to break in or trying to attack us in some way, sometimes those are shadow parts that are demanding our attention. And we've been ignoring them for so long that they are now having to get aggressive with us

to make an appearance in our life. So what could that be? Yeah, what could the shadow parts be? Anything that would be that lives in the shadow is something that has been repressed or suppressed that's usually not okay with society. All right. So it's usually, I look at it like an energy.

So like let's say you are, you're a passenger in a car and somebody comes up and smashes your car window and is trying to like get at you in the car. So yes, it could be literal like you have a fear of that happening. But oftentimes we want to get in touch with what, you know, describe for me. What did that person look like that was trying to get in? What was their motive?

Let's go into active imagination or hypnotherapy and have a discussion with that part. Because obviously it's pissed. And it wants you to know something. It's trying to get at you. So it could be anything from a certain kind of energy that you need. Like you need an aggression. maybe you're not being aggressive enough about something and you need to be. Maybe something was stolen from you emotionally and now you need to address that.

There's so many different things. I have to find out from the client like what are they going through in their life right at that moment. Is that similar? Like Rain is talking about kind of more of a break in being like pinned down. Is that similar to a chase? Because I get chased a lot. Yeah. It could be chased.

And again, I've seen. It's less. I don't have the break. I'm always being, my nightmare. It's like I'm being chased, like to wake myself up. Yeah, so that would be fun to work with, right? To be able to bring some lucidity to it where you turn around and you confront who's chasing and you and you say, what is it that you're trying to tell me?

Like, what do you want from me? So that, but that could be a part of yourself. That's like, hey, when you were five, you know, I was part of your life. And then all of a sudden you stopped that part. And now I'm mad and I'm coming out with a vengeance because I want your attention. And I will say they can have some premonition qualities. Like I have had clients who have said to me things like that and then something did happen. So we always want to look at all the angles, all the possibilities.

Do you help people, well, I mean, I don't really know the definition of night terror. I would not say I've ever had one of those, you know, hearing people's experience, it sounds like it can be debilitating and I've known people that have had to go to like sleep therapists and things like that. Do you help people work with that? and can you like help them live a more normal life? I mean, I have a friend that she doesn't, she's scared to go to sleep a lot of times because of what she dreams and she wakes up and she throws things and it's like a whole thing.

Yeah, that's, I definitely, I would link that to some form of PTSD. And to be able to use, there's a lot of different techniques that are not just dream based, but sure, we could use lucid dreaming. We could,

I do hypnosis as well. But there's other techniques like EMDR and brain spotting and, I mean, some people even use like psychedelic mushrooms to address those things. So there's a lot of different avenues that are to help with night tears because it's, it is like torture. It really is. Like to be scared.

Like what a, what a shame to be anxious about going to sleep because of what might happen. Yeah. Well, I would definitely, I would definitely want to look into helping that person get in touch with some trauma and just work through it. And that person is like in regular therapy just, you know,

because I feel like if it fits. it's all probably a combo in a lot of cases of stuff that needs to be addressed. Is that more rare for my ex had night tears and he went to sleep studies and stuff like that? And he never followed through with it to figure out like what it was. But yeah, he'd wake me up in the middle of the night and he'd be having these like crazy conversations with me. And where he'd be like yelling about something, not yelling at me, just about something. And the therapist, I guess, during the sleep study said it was very rare for adults who's more common in children. Yep, that's true.

I don't get night tears very often from adults, but every once in a while. And like I said, I usually use a multitude of approaches to address it. So it sounds pretty serious if you're having it as an adult. I think it is serious. And I really would encourage people to get help. Like I mentioned, there's lots of different ways to address it. But we need sleep and to have to not. And to be afraid to go to sleep is just horrible.

Yeah. Well, I wanted to, you mentioned astrology. maybe we can just wrap up with like a little bit. I was curious if what's happening in the universe, like, yeah, it affects your dreams. Like do things like Mercury and retrograde affect? Like is there a link? You know, are people having like similar dreams around a certain time when the sun is doing whatever? You know, is it kind of, I was curious if astrology plays if it plays in the dreams at all.

I think there is a direct correlation. And I based that on experience, not just some woo-woo thing that I came up with. I mean, I think over time, I have seen. So when I work with people, if they are okay with it, I will print off their astrology charts and have them in front of me and I'll share them with them. And we do look at like your birth chart. We look at the transits that are happening right now for myself.

Because I'm an astrologer, I kind of know what to look for more, right? Like the symbols that are often showing up during certain planetary transits. But here's how the Rishi's, the ancient stages, describe it. Anything that we can see in this state of consciousness or in this dimension has an effect on us, whether we want to believe it or not. And we're all linked in this collective unconscious and the collective conscious as well. So, I mean, the moon affects the tides, right? Why couldn't the moon affect us? And so that's the theory that the planets, the cosmos, lives inside our state of being. And so oftentimes people will bring dreams to me and I can say, hey, let's look at the

transits right now and see what's going on or maybe you started a different astrological cycle. And this is just a gateway into letting us know what we're going to be working on in your therapy. It's really interesting. This is great. Yeah. Should we tell people maybe where to find you? Your website is such a wealth of information and you specialize in so many different things. we can talk to you about dreams all day. Me too. I love it. I'm sure there's a lot more questions that people ask you about dreams and relationships and sex. So if you have resources, you want to recommend types of dream journaling your website, anything,

I'm sure people would love some kind of resources. I would love to be able to help people know how to get in touch with their dreams. And one thing I will say, regular use of any kind of THC products diminish your dream capacity. So just so people know. And I always say like if you don't believe me, you know, try it yourself. Like stop, you know, stop using THC products for a while and see what happens to your dreams. It's like the THC products actually put like a blanket over your ability to dream. That's why it's so effective for people that have sleep problems because it just helps quiet and helps quiet everything down, right?

Slow it down. Yeah, turn the brain off. That's so, yep, exactly. So that would be one thing I would point out. you're really interested in doing dream work, you kind of have to give that up for a little bit to get in touch with those parts. And then I would say people can get a nice journal or a notebook, whatever's convenient for them. A lot of people use their phone. I actually discourage the phone because I like people to write where their dream entries are when I ask questions, but have pens

handy. And when you get a dream, just write it down. And then I kind of go through a series of questions. So the first thing I'll ask is, how did you feel when the dream was happening? What do you associate with these different symbols or people? What's happening in your life right now? What is the message or wisdom in the dream? What is the dream showing you about you that you were not aware of? And let's look at how everything that showed itself in the dream is somehow linked to you. So those are just some basic foundation for people to be.

kind of get started themselves. And then there's a lot of dream groups on social media and on the internet that people can join. And just to get in touch with that, I would say higher consciousness, like higher self that wants so badly to connect with us if we would just listen and pay attention. It's got something to share with us. I think the phone is important too because that light right into your eyes like, I don't know, it activates your brain in a weird way.

Like that's why you're not supposed to be on your phone right before bed, even though I am every night. But I like that tip. Just like, that could kind of keep you up more if you shine the iPhone light, you know, the screen into your eyes, the screen. It can be a gentle process. It can just be where you have, I usually, I mean, I have dreams going way back to my childhood. And that's really fun to go back and read stuff and like link it up with what was going on in my life. So like I said, it becomes a spiritual practice. But just having that little, make it as streamlined and simple without as much movement as possible. And then once you start doing it, it's almost like that part of you knows you're doing it and you're paying attention.

And it gets a little easier over time. Okay. Great. What's your website and anywhere else that people can find you specifically? Yeah. So my website is caracatrell.com. And I'm on social media, Instagram and Facebook with a simple Google search of my name. And so I try to interact as much as possible. I have an astrology school that I run that's all self-directed. And that's another option for people if they want to really get into astrology. And I'm heavily into the psychology of astrology. So I like people to be able to use it on a very practical level in their everyday life. So the dream work, the sex therapy, the astrology, it's all to enhance practical living and make life more meaningful and enjoyable.

That's amazing. Well, this is a great way. Great way to wrap it up. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was such a pleasure having you. Thank you so much for your time. And I feel like we really unpacked a lot of really amazing stuff.

You touched on so many topics. We appreciate your expertise so much. I really appreciate you bringing a topic like this forward because it's so important and I'm so grateful and it's been an absolute pleasure to be here with you both. Thank you. Thank you so much. Bye. Bye-bye.

And you guys know where to find us. Everything at Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com. Get tickets to our upcoming shows, merchandise, sign up for the newsletter, all the things. You can follow us on Instagram at Girls Got to Eat Podcast. I am Ash Hess on Instagram. Raina is reina.orgorgat-eat on Twitter

and YouTube.com slash Girls Got to Eat. And we will see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.