Girls Gotta Eat - What Do You Hide From Your Partner?

Episode Date: February 24, 2025

We're discussing all the things people hide from their partners, from getting Botox to spending habits to past sexual experiences, and more. We break down the different categories of "little white lies" and the motivations behind them, through research, our own experiences, and contributions from our audience. And we're diving into age-old questions like "Do you have to tell your partner how many people you've slept with?" and "Do guys always lie when you ask them what they're thinking about?" Before we get into the topic, we're talking about health (microplastics, air quality, and more!), and the most searched fetish in every state. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Cymbiotika: Get 20% and free shipping at https://cymbiotika.com/girlsgottaeat. Bilt: Get points by paying rent at https://joinbilt.com/GGE. Hungry Root: Get 40% off your first delivery and free item in every box for life at https://hungryroot.com/GGE with code GGE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Like, can you imagine your man comes home? He's like, what have you been tweezing? Did you tweez your chin today? This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back.

Happy Valentine's Day. I know we're 10 days since. You know, it's such a big holiday. You celebrate it for 10 days. Just kidding. But we are recording a little bit farther out than normal. Yeah, definitely further out than normal. But on Valentine's Day, our special day.

Because you said you wanted to be together today. So what, seven years running? Eight years running? This is our eighth year. This is my first Valentine's Day not spent with you in the evening. We're still like that for a whole day. Oh, in the evening? Yeah.

So we were trying to remember, like, run the tape on the... So the last two years, we were at the improv. You hosted shows at the improv in Hollywood. And we've done shows a lot. We've been in Vancouver for JFL. I don't know if we ever did like a Friends thing in New York. I feel like we've mostly hosted shows on Valentine's Day or that weekend. I feel like I really need to run the tape on every time.

Every Valentine's Day or not. We're playing trivia now. We were just able to dine back inside, and it was still really cold out, and we went to Italy, and then we went to Gup Shop. And when we were in Italy, it was nice and warm and cozy,

and then something happened midway through. I don't know if an inspector came in. The cop showed up, and they opened up all the windows. We were sitting there, like, freezing, because it was February, New York. I really think that was Valentine. Day. You do? It just, no, we all were black. I guess that's every day in New York, but I swear that was

Valentine's Day. And I remember I was like, DMing with this guy. That one like influencer guy was talking to. I don't know. I just have this feeling it was. I can't confirm or deny. I actually don't remember. I feel like no, because I don't remember a lot of red decor around us. But like, it was weird times because you just couldn't really be inside. It was COVID. Yeah. Well, this is my first Valentine's evening without you. Okay. I'm excited though. So I had like a bunch of girls that I was going to hang out with and then one has to be out of town and one I'm not hanging out with tonight. Hannah and I had dinner plans and she was like I made a reservation for like six girls and I was like could you want to invite? Last night she texted me and was like, do you maybe

want to like stay in and watch Love is Blind and order John and Vinnie's, which is a great Italian restaurant in LA and I was like, I just came. Totally. That sounds like, we light my fire, we literally, it's my porn category. Love is Blind and John and Vinny's. Am I going to try to fuck Hannah? Maybe. I could see it. At this point, Love is Blind. has been on and we'll be talking about it on the snack. But yeah, I am doing a show tonight. If you're not with me, you're doing show. I love comedy on Valentine's Day.

I love an activity on a holidays like this. But I'm doing like a 10 p.m. show. So my fiance will come. We'll go to dinner before, I guess. Where are we going to go to dinner? And then Usama is on the show. So I'm excited for them to meet. You guys, Usama is a former guest of ours.

And the biggest hands, just fingers for days. comedian. I'm so jealous you're going to see him. Yeah. And we're going to do like gifts, but I thought it was funny because I got him a lot of really thoughtful and expensive Christmas gifts. I went like full send for Christmas. And I was just like, I don't know, Valentine's Day for guys. Like it feels like it's more of a girly holiday. Like I woke up. He had flowers for me. Like I'm sure he'll, you know, he did a lot for me last year. I don't know. Like what do you get guys for Valentine's Day? Blow jobs. Exactly. That's what? of course.

All of that. Cook him dinner, suck their dick. All that's on deck. Yeah. Birthday is Christmas, holidays. He has to come watch me tell jokes about him and then he gets to fuck me. Yeah. No, I'll blow him.

But I did want to get him something. Yeah. So I got him like some funny, cutesy things. I found like dice that you roll to pick like where you want to eat. You know, couples are always like, what should we eat tonight? Like there's a dice that's just like Mexican or steak or, you know, burgers and you can roll it. And then these, like I got him some other cutsy things. And then his main gift is I'm getting him a kettlebell.

And he didn't. He loves a kettlebell. He works that. Oh, he does. This isn't like a subtle hint. Workout equipment can be interpreted in different ways. That's so funny. Yeah.

And I say that I'm getting it because I haven't got it yet. I'll go after this. We're not doing gifts until later. I had a boyfriend in New York that brought me a Dwayne Reed bag and just handed it to me. And he had like just come from Dwayne Reed with like a card. He didn't fill the card out. No. It had, like, candy and some, like, garbage.

He was like, I didn't have time to wrap it. I was like, you just came from Dwayne. Literally, it's in the bag. In the bag. This is from Dwayne. The receipt was still in there. The receipt is, like, I've talked to him anyway. You want to take it back?

Yeah, of course. But no, he works out with a kettlebell, and he didn't send it here from Boston. So he hasn't bought one yet. I'm just, like, hoping he doesn't come home with one every day because this is going my big, my big gift. I think it's like 30 bucks. So, can you Google where I need to go, like, Dix or something? Like, where do you get one?

So there isn't a dicks around here, and I know this because I tried to find, I was going to go get an Eagles jersey for the Super Bowl. Okay. And I could not figure out where in L.A. to find it. There is a Ross right by my... There's a Big Five here, you, Ashley. Big Five? What is that? Oh, it's a sporting good store. Okay.

I thought that Big Five was where you got those pickles. And more of finals. Actually, it's a super store and you can get kettlebells and pickles. Wait, okay. First of all, can we back up? I'm so upset. I didn't know you were trying to wear an Eagles jersey because I have one that says Heselton in the back and I would have loved for you to wear that.

Well, I wanted to surprise you and I felt really, so you and I went to this really wonderful Valentine's day at actually our friend Hannah's and she just had like TikTok searched all these like different decorations. She had like cups and themes. She had little gifts. It was so nice. And I was like, man, I really did not theme the Super Bowl party the way I wanted to. I just was spending so much money and there was so many people coming over.

There was 20 people I had to like cook and buy alcohol for. Yeah. But I do like a theme. tried last minute to find the eagle stuff and I couldn't. Okay. Oh, well. What are you going to do? We have next year. Your relationship is interesting. It's the wrong word. You guys always buy each other a lot of gifts. You're very thoughtful. You're always like, he sends flowers when you're out of town. He's always thinking of like little ways. He sends you

food all the time, like when you were like long distance. Like gift giving is like so much his love language. I think he does all the love languages. But you guys gift a lot in a way that I have never experienced from a partner. It's because I pretend only date break dudes. No one's ever sent me anything. So like he's ever that one rich guy who said he his assistant to stand in line and courage bagels for me. And I was like, but you didn't do this. You're both extremes. Yeah.

You've had like the rich guy who is not going to put in the thought and effort someone else is going to do it and you've had the broke dudes. No, you've had him. You've gotten gifts. Yeah. So he is so thoughtful and it comes from his like mom and even his aunt. So they get me presents and I'm like, don't like I send stuff to his family. Like I send them. a big basket on Christmas Day.

But like he just recently, because he shipped it because it was like, how else am I going to get this? I was like, it's no rush. But like his aunt, who I've met once, got me really nice Christmas gifts. And I know. And then sometimes like, he'll be like, my mom wanted to get something for rain. I'm like, okay, we got to stop this. Oh my God.

Ashley, I just reminded she sent me a gift. And I forgot. She takes it. Can you seriously make a note right now and tell me after we record. I have to thank her. Yes, she got you a gift. his mom my fiance's mom who reyna's met zero times never time never never times never times you guys were supposed to meet and then they couldn't come to brunch his sister i met who i'm like

crazy about yes but so he is crazy thoughtful and he always has been and so many flowers when we were dating obviously were long distance and so the flowers now are a little more difficult so he like woke up this morning and he got out of bed and he was like in the garage doing whatever he was doing and then i had flowers when i went downstairs you know what's funny as i walked into our like office space today. There's two bouquets of flowers sitting on the desk. And I started rooting around in them

because I was like, for sure they're for us. Sure. They were not my business to touch them, but they're behind the desk in the office. And there were two bouquets of flowers and I was like, they are,

you're reading the cards. You're like lame. You're judging the cards. Whose flowers are this? Whose grocery store flowers are these? I went through somebody else's flowers. I'm so dead. All right.

Well, we'll thank our partners. Oh my God. We haven't even thanked our partners. Yeah, we will. Okay. We'll get to it. to build get points by paying rent at joinbuilt.com slash gge and thank you to hungry root get 40% off your first delivery and free item in every box for life at hungry root.com slash gge with code gge and symbiotica

get 20% off and free shipping at symbiotica.com slash girls got to eat okay okay I had this like amazing thing I was so excited to talk about then I had this like aha moment so I had like a morning hang this week with a friend yeah this girl that I'm friends always said that she was coming to venice in the morning to pick up some Valentine's Day gifts for her boyfriend on Aba Kinney. And she was like, do you want to give her now? What she get him? I need inspo. I'm buying a fucking kettlebell.

So it's a new relationship. So she was like, it's new. It's not like, and I love you relationship yet. Sex toys then. Yeah, I said you got to revert to like sex stuff. Also, I should have offered her a sex toy and I did not. I can't give out sex toys all willy nilly.

Yeah. You know, I think about that sometimes. Like when you will tell me like, I gave so-and-so a sex toy, I'm like, well, they deserve it. They're our close friend. We've never given them anything. That's true. You gave some stuff to Taylor recently. I should probably give some stuff to Alyssa.

She's done me some favors. But like, I'm just not handing them out. And I don't really have in my house anymore. I have so many other brands that we've tested. I'm going to start giving them out. I use this once and it's not even ours. I washed it. Yeah.

Anyway, while we're here, guys, vibes only are premium sex toys, amazing gifts. A great gift. I mean, any gift, any season, like stuff like the handcuffs or the blow gel, like even just entree into kink. We have it all. The massage candle. We even talk about that much. If you're like, what should I do for a date night?

That. Totally. But this girl, she texted me and she said she was going to have a kidney. And she was like, are you around in the morning? Take a walk. And I was like, it's actually supposed to rain. But if you want to like stop over, a while of coffee. And she came over like 9 a.m.

We hung up for like 90 minutes. And it started my day like so nice. And I was like, why are we like doing this more? Like morning hangs? Like I don't have to get dressed. I looked horrible. I had no makeup on. I'm just drinking coffee.

I don't get drunk. Like it's nice. Started my day's so good. And I was like, I'm going to like blow people's minds suggesting this. Yeah. Like, people have jobs. I don't know. So many more people aren't going into the office, you know?

I don't know anybody that's going to the office anymore. Right. Barely anybody. Right. But like, if I put my phone down for 30 minutes, I mean, you and I are on a hundred group of texts together. Yeah. I feel the anxiety building in my body.

But I love the coffee date. And I mean, I said I was going to do this thing that I did once. I said it was going to do in the new year. And that, well, then the fire started actually. So I may have, but I was going to do Friday lunch. dates with friends. You did tell me you're going to do that. And then I was going to do the 3 p.m. Yoga class at Y7 because it's in West Hollywood. So I was going to do like a West Hollywood lunch date with a friend, whoever, whoever is available, whoever I want to see. And yeah, I did it once.

And then the city burned down. But I'll pick it back up. But I like when people suggest a coffee. I love it. But here's the thing. Like, a walk. You're having someone at your home, a little risky, you know, you got to have an out plan before. You knew she had to go. I knew she to leave. If you're going to have someone to your house for a coffee, which I love that you did. I think you guys had such a nice time. Like, I think you got to be like, I got to get on a call at 10.30, you know, like people try to stack. Not that they're trying to overstay their welcome, but how do you end this? Is the coffee done? You know, like, how do you get out of your house if you were like, all right, now I got to get to work? I actually think that

it's the perfect time to have an out because you can just say, I got to get to work. I got a, I have a meeting at 11. I need to get going. Like, oh shit, look at the time. Like, like, sometimes I'm out at night and I'm like, when can we call it? Who's going to be the first person to start the leaving. Actually, you're so right. The out is way easier when it's in the morning. Because a nighttime hang, people will just stay. Not me. You never have to wait on me staying, but everybody else. If a hang is at my house, I will hang forever. If I don't have to change venues, nothing gets me out of there quicker than when I'm having a nice time at dinner, everyone's hanging and drinking and somebody suggests, let's get a, like a drink at the next bar.

I am not a next bar kind of early. I don't need to change the background. When I'm enjoying the company that I have in front of me. I know people agree with me and they love it. They love to go to the next place, the next place. I don't want to do it. I have learned over the years if you are having a good time stay. If you have plans and a reservation, that's different. But if you just are like, we thought when we started the night, we would bounce around, but you're having a good time. The vibes are high. The people are good. Whatever's with music, whatever's going on in the first place, don't leave. You're not going to find that again. It just like stop thinking the grass is greener.

Yes, it changes the vibe. Yeah. You and I were out with four girls. And you lose the like dynamic. We were out four girls the other night for dinner at Companion. Is that what it's called? In Venice, which I love. Great restaurant.

It's new. If you guys want to check it out, it's Italian. There were four of us. It was a perfect four top. And then we got up and we went to the next place and we had to sit in a line at the bar. And I don't want to do that. It fucks up the dynamic for me. Yeah.

And I didn't want to leave. Yeah. So someone's always going to be the brave person to be like, hey guys, are we having fun here? let's stay. It's not going to be more fun. It's never going to be more fun for me. I mean, unless it's like a really, like a pregame and then like a club, yeah, you got to get to the club.

But if you're just going to go to another bar just because you think the people are going to be better, the music's going to be better. But if you're having fun, just stay. I don't want it. Hold it down. I'm old. I don't want to put my coat on now. I don't want to walk somewhere.

Like New York, fine. New York, you can walk to 15 bars in 12 seconds. But like, I don't want to like rejigger. the seating, interrupt my conversation. I don't want to do it. Yeah. I mean, I feel like in my 20s, I mean, you always want to bounce around. And then more as I got in my 30s, like, I would be the person if someone is like suggesting, should we go the next place? I'd be like, what if we just stay here? We got tab open. I got nachos on the way. Like, let's just stay. What if? What if we don't get up? Right. I'm going to try to get up. I'm not a next place kind of girl. Yeah. I've really leaned into

not being fun. Okay. Well, love your ideas. Just more daytime hangs in general. And we always say this and it's a great way to get to know somebody, a new friend, is to just do those like coffee or lunches. Again, like, you meet somebody. You're like, I don't know if I could go out with her all night or even sit to a dinner. You do a coffee date. This girl's a new friend. And I had a great time.

I love talk to her. She's great. Okay. So speaking of like me and my personality traits, I'm going to try something new. Okay. I want to talk to you about it. Oh, my God. It's a journey.

Okay. Okay. So I had a friend stay with me last week and she is very much on a journey of like, organic. healthy decision-making for what she puts in her body and on her body. Yeah. And she made some suggestions about my house. And I was like, I could try this. So, like, I use a lot of water bottles, a lot of plastic water bottles.

And she's like, it's a lot of waste. And plastic is not great for your body. You know, stuff like goes into the bottle. It's in a warehouse for months. And then you're consuming it. She's big into, like, microplastics. Yeah. And so I started, like, looking into, like, this filter that I can put in my fridge,

which will be an easy change. And then I was like, well, what else do I do this plastic that I should stop doing? And so I threw out on my plastic cutting board. because oh my god every time you slice into a plastic cutting board yeah so i just started looking into like plastic cutting boards and it's an easy cheap swap for me to do a bamboo cutting board so it just wood and then i was like what about the stuff that i store my food in and so then i'm like all right i'm not going to toss out on my Tupperware but i will stop microwaving stuff in plastic that what you've just been microwaving stuff in plastic i read stuff in plastic

let's start rain is gop on me because she's gonna go through some sort of treatment Not the microwaving of the, oh my God. So, you know, once you tug on this string a little bit, like it really starts to unravel of, I mean, everything, seed oils in your food and red dye. And then when you start thinking about what you put in your body, you're like, well, what about what about what I put on my body body? So like, what about my body wash and lotion and the detergent? And what about what I wash my dishes with?

Like those plastic, this is not an anti-big plastic episode. The detergent pods. The detergent pods. So you and I have a, you and I have a, you. blue land for years and I love those tabs and those are really good. They're like eco-friendly, but you think about the chemicals and I mean you could go on and on and on forever and there has to be a point at which you just say like I should be allowed to live my life. But I started getting served all these videos about like shredded cheese that you buy at the store versus like

shredding your own cheese. Fruit that's pre-cut that like sits at its own juices in this plastic. And I don't, not everybody has access to like aeron across the streets and these things are Well, there's still pre-cred fruit over here. I'm just saying, when you tug on the string and you're like, I could overhaul my entire life and become a totally different person. But I want to do it within reason. I want to do some things slowly and replace some things. And I don't want to spend like a fortune because I think a lot of people are like, well, I don't have the money to replace all this stuff. You can't just throw out everything you have.

But as I get older and I'm heading towards my 40s, I want to take care of my body better. And I mean, you and I've said this for such a long time. When we travel, it sounds like when I go to Europe every summer, I feel better. I feel better. It's not the same type of foods that are here. And so I just want to make some better decisions for myself. And at some point, I'm going to have to like hard stop it because I can't replace everything in my house. Yeah.

I am with you. I mean, you can be a completely neurotic, obsessive person. And you can raise your children that way. You're welcome to do that. But like, we are going to ingest these chemicals one way or the other. I mean, I got really obsessive over the air quality after the fires. And I was like doing so much research. and what were acceptable levels and got these air purifiers and I'm checking those along with

the weather app and like then but that doesn't account for all the chemicals because all these houses burned down and there's all the lead and asbestos from the houses and it's not just like the typical pollutants that we have every day and I had to just make my own boundaries up and I had to be like okay well maybe if it's over 50 I will wear a mask or something like that you know but like I had to tell myself like these chemicals these PM chemicals PM 10 5 2.5. PM 2.5 are the ones that are like really get in your, they're tiny, you can't see them, they get in your lungs. You can't avoid them. They're in the air. They're in the air no matter what city you're in. You know, like the air quality here is so many better than so many other

countries and also worse than other countries. Like I just had to be like, you can't avoid these chemicals, but you can limit your exposure and you can take these steps when they're really potent or prevalent in the atmosphere. So like, yeah, you can't be psychotic. I mean, it's the same with germs. You know, if you really start to think about the type of germs and when you're traveling on an airplane or whatever. And, you know, I get it. Some people are like, I would never come home from the airport and, like, sit on my furniture. And it's like, yeah, you can live like that. But I've had to start being like, I've been all right. You know, I've been all right in my outside clothes on the couch, you know. But the cutting word thing is really interesting because there

are these ads obviously get served. And they basically cut something up on a plastic. And then they take the knife and all that plastic goes into your food and your body. Yes. Or, you know, So whatever. It was an ad for a titanium cutting board. So then they are saying like wood is bad too because it absorbs too much. Wood chips. Like it will absorbs too much meat, stuff like that, not even the wood chips. Oh, into the wood.

Yeah, they're too absorbent, whatever. Got it. So I tell my fiance, I was like, we're doing titanium and cutting boards. And he was like, you've got to slow your role, sis. You know, like he was like, we will get rid of the plastic, but wood's fine. And we're not going to put a knife on titanium that makes me like want to die. I'm like, you're right. You're right.

So we like met in the middle. Okay. I don't have titanium cut. no offense to big titanium and like the cutting boards out there. But like even when he started to say like, think about putting a knife on that. I'm like, you're right. It gives me the egg. Yeah, it gives me the egg a little bit.

And he was like you wash wood. It's clean. Like you're going to sanitize it. It's like wood's fine. Uh-huh. We've decided wood is fine for us. For our family. Yeah.

Okay. I'm a wood family now. I have the plastic cutting boards. You see all the knife ridges in them. So that plastic went somewhere and it's in your food and your body. Yes. But that happens. We cannot avoid.

plastics in our body completely. We can't. You really got me started. You started this. I was really hoping you would like this conversation. And I was talking to my friend who inspired this and she was like, you can't bring up the seed oils on the podcast. She could 10,000 emails about it. And I was like, I do think we're going to get a lot of emails about this. I think all the well actually people are going to show up. I'm not sitting here right now saying I won't have any seed oils. Also, natural flavors. Like if you see that on a label, that means the opposite of natural flavors. That means in a lab, somebody tinkered around and

created a flavor and then injected it into the food. I can't get that far into it. But I said her, I was like, we'll get so many, well, actually emails about this. Yeah. I mean, it's like anything else. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. You know, I don't think that we can avoid those things completely. And you've had them up till now, you know, you, for example, you know.

So I just think like you have to decide where you want to limit your exposure and what things you don't want to care about and what things you do. I do go to the farmer's market every Saturday morning and get my, fruit for the week and get a few other like vegetables and fish and things like that. But I still buy some of the grocery store. I try to stick to whole foods. I mean, you can only do what you can do. You can only do what you can do. And then you're eating out at restaurants. You don't know what they're doing. I don't ever see myself getting to the point of like making it my whole personality. Like I want to know that I'm doing something bad for my body. It's fine. I go out to the restaurant

and I eat like a 6,000 calorie meal and it's like that's my choice. That is my choice. But I don't want to like cut into plastic or be drinking out of plastic. And because to me that's not an expensive swap either. You know what I mean? Like, I don't need to buy water bottles and be wasting this much stuff. I can just, there's a filter in my fridge. I'll just use it. Yeah. And then Donald Trump signed an executive order banning paper straws. We have to use plastic straws. Like, what an absolute fucking clown. And no, I don't like paper straws. But we've also come so far from paper straws. Like, the straws that are not plastic that are out there now are great. Like those early days, we were just, we had paper disintegrating in our mouth. But like, they're

better now. I don't know. There's different alternatives. Like, we didn't have to go back to plastic. Like, he's a fucking clown. I mean, that's so many things he is. But, like, in that way, it's like, this is what you're spending your time and energy on. Like, this is not the flex you think it is. We've been fine. Yeah, we've been fine. So I'm not going to, I'll see how far down the road I kick this and how long this takes and, you know, how long this lasts. But I'm going to make some different decisions for myself. Yeah. I mean, I hate that you just would always have, like, a fridge full of not even spring water, you guys, purified water. Just aquafina, you know, just Pepsi's Dassani. But I have a filter that I heard about on like a podcast. I think it's called Clearly

Filtered. And I just heard some expert say that this was the best one like better than like a Britta or whatever. So I use clearly filtered and that's supposed to get the most bad shit and chemicals out of your water. I don't think it's that hard to like swap out the kind of detergent you use. So we'll see. Okay. You're on your journey. How long this goes? I am. I'm excited about it. And I have faith in our audience that they're going to send helpful emails and not be like, well, actually. Well, and if you want to be like, you're exaggerating, it's like, all right, fine, that's your truth. I don't know. Like, we have the most cancer in the world. I mean, and then in California, everything has a, what, Prop 65 warning on it. It's just like, this could cause cancer,

reproductive harm everywhere. I saw in the lobby of a hotel. Materials in this hotel could cause cancer. Oh, what should I do? I was going to get married here. everything you buy in Amazon has the Prop 65. There's tons of you can't even get sent to the state of California. I was shopping for like faucets. And most of the faucets I couldn't get sent here? I mean, it's like I appreciate, yeah, California's Proposition 65, also knows the Safe Drinking Water and Toxic Enforcement Act.

I'm sure Donald Trump will cancel this out as soon as he gets the opportunity. Requires businesses to warn Californians about exposures to chemicals that may cause cancer, birth defects, a reproductive harm, which is just kind of everything. So when you buy something, it says like the packaging. So it's not my air filter, for example. It's like the plastic around it. It's just, it's plastic essentially, I think, because it's on everything. But the fact that I saw that in a hotel, I was like, oh, all right.

I hope that my guests don't see this. I hope you guys aren't pregnant. You just, you're like, I'll get married here, but you have to cover this. My pregnant friend comes in. She's like, excuse me, it's healthy here. I mean, I will say things are healthy here. But, you know, everybody has what works well for their body. And I think about that in relation to like exercise because you have a million people plugging

different exercise plans. Some people are like only cardio. It's the only way you lose weight. And then you've other people are like, well, actually weightlifting is the thing that leads to weight loss. And well, actually, it's a combo of this type of all carb diet with cardio. Yes. Everybody has like the magic. Totally of how it's going to change your life. And I can't subscribe to any of those things. Yeah. Also like different diets. People are like, well, this, this workout with this diet will make you look like this. We know people that just like count every calorie, you know. Everybody is so different in what works for them. And I really subscribe to like. lifting weight and building muscle to achieve the type of body you want.

You can't just do all cardio. You can. I'm not going to become like a health influencer or anything, girlie. I'll probably become like a home goods Amazon influencer. Raina is so on her journey to anti-vax. Catch me in 2026. Raina popped a bottle when RFK got confirmed. Hypothetically.

What is I'm getting loser? We're getting polio. Again, we laugh because what are you going to do? What are you doing? Cry. I'm excited that you like this topic because I was like. Of course I do. So my fiance said, has anyone ever called you a hypochondriac?

And I was like, that's not the right word. I just like to complain about stuff. Hypocondriac is that you always think something's wrong with you. Finish. And I'll give you my thoughts on you. Okay. It was about the cutting boards. It was about the air quality, all of that.

Like that was kind of at a high for a moment. I was really, I was feeling panicky about, I mean, we don't know what was in the air. And it was really, it was a 150. Like it was bad. It was scary. It was smoky. It was ashy, whatever. and then I got in this cutting board thing, whatever.

So he said that. And he said it in like a totally kind, gentle, loving way. But I was like, I clapped back. First of all, it's a wrong word. Google it. Have I ever, like, thought I was sick when I wasn't? I'm not a hypochondriac. But, like, I don't know the word for what he meant,

where you just are, like, constantly, like, worrying about, like, adverse health effects or whatever. Health is very important to you. It's, like, tantamount. And I actually, I don't think you're a hypochondriac at all. I just, I think when you're, when you're, like, this thing. is happening. I think you put all of your energy and resources into Googling it, understanding

it, having it addressed. You don't want it to go on for a long time. If your knee hurts for a little bit, you kick it 10 steps down the road. You're like, what if I have to get my knee amputated? If I don't take care of it today. I mean, we're just for a few steps away from doing that. I don't know what the word is. You take it very seriously. I don't know. That's a bad thing. It's your body. I just get a little worked up. And I do sometimes have to like calm myself down. I mean, again, he was like, we don't need titanium cutting boards. I'm like, you're right. know, like I can be rational. I do worry about our health.

I mean, my health is just so important. And I do think we have problems here in this country, clearly with health and what's in our food. And I worry about it. My nephews, everything, the environment, our climate, all that stuff. But, like, you can only worry so much, you've got to go about your life. I don't think you're ever contract. I just think you, like, this thing is happening and you become, like, hyperfocused on,

like, how do I fix this? It's only about you and your body, by the way. It's not about like other people. Oh yeah, I don't police other people. You do you. The air quality thing was really scary. Sometimes it's like a 20 here like after it rains.

And then two weeks ago, that weekend was like at 115. I didn't leave the house. Yeah, it's really bad. And so like I was talking to a doctor about it of like, you can use 50 kind of as that gauge. But again,

the whole thing was like we don't know everything that burned down. Cars burned. Houses burned. Like all that stuff is blowing over here. So anyway. Well, I would like to validate. Not a hypochontriac.

Not the right word. Me. What is the word for? your arm could be hanging off and you'd still be like, I'll go to work. First I worked in restaurants my whole life. It's Raynal. Raw dog. It's type B energy.

Yeah. I've gotten on stage when I feel sick. I'll go to work when I don't feel good. Not contagious, not fit. But like, I'll push through most things and I don't care that much. Most of the time I'm like, is this a problem or is it just being alive? We'll chalk it up to being alive. Yeah.

For me, it just depends on what the ailment is. I feel like I can push through and I've obviously never canceled a show in my life. but nausea, forget it. Pregnant women who have morning sickness, how do you live? I don't understand. The tiniest bit of nausea, I can't come. And I don't get nauseous. I'd rather have a broken limb.

I know you would. I could throw up right now thinking about just a time I've been nauseous. Pregnant women just deal with that shit every day. I can't believe they get pregnant and they go to work. It's crazy to me. Like pregnant women are just. Just sitting there at work, like, doing spreadsheets. Some dumb man is telling you what to do.

And you're like, I'm trying to grow a person and not throw up at work. You have all my admiration. Yeah, you're the strongest people. Yeah. Stronger than I could ever be. Okay, let's talk about fetishes. So we just saw this thing. And it said the most searched fetishes in your state.

And they put it on Mashable, but it says clips for sale, is that a porn site, has released its United States of Fetish. the United States is divided politically, but what about fetish preference? As it turns out, we're pretty divided on that too. And of course, you guys know we're not in the business of kinkshaming, whatever you guys want to explore on the internet or get involved in legally, consensually, ethically. You know, we don't care.

But we just thought some of these things were very funny, and we didn't even know about a lot of them. So we just wanted to discuss, like, a lightweight. There's some one-offs that only exist in one state. There's quite a few of those. And then there's one that dominated the list. Oh, my God. and I don't even know.

I'll tell you what it is. Okay. So how do they know people are searching fetishes? Because Wyoming just searched CPR. What if they're just trying to give CPR? Well, is it based on a porn site? Okay, yeah, I guess so. Like, CPR's funny.

Well, CPR probably means what? It's not erotic asphyxiation. CPR is like a life-saving technique. Maybe they're turned on by the erotic exfixation and they need to get CPR. Okay. I'm really into Kansas, Louisiana, and Maine face sitting. It's funny because,

I didn't know that that was a fetish, but I guess it is. Fart. Fart had one, Idaho and Virginia. Delaware is the only one in here, being gagged. Delaware. Gagged. But also, do you think Delaware is just searching, like, what does it mean when you're gagged? Like, what do the kids mean when they say it? I think it's a porn site. No, okay. This one I did not think would chart so high, giantess. I mean, just big, big.

What? Big people. Oh, large. Just plus size porn. Is that really all it means? Just large people. Oh, like superhuman size. Giants.

Like the Hulk or like Superwoman or like Godzilla. A female giant. A female giant. And this is pretty popular. Okay. This is very popular. So Arizona, D.C., Indiana, New York, New Jersey, and Tennessee, the most searched fetish giantess. Giant woman.

If you're a tall woman, move to those states. You're people what people want. Men are like, I just want someone to hold me. All right. Here's what I don't know, and we're going to look it up together, smotherbox. I was just looking at that. Maryland. Maryland with smotherbox.

Smother. Okay, what do you think it means before I tell you? Smother box. My visual is a face sitting, but that's just you're smothering with your box. So I googled smother box fetish, and the first thing that comes up is Etsy. So you're like, what in the world is this? I mean, you guys can look it up. It is a box that looks like people insert their head into.

it and someone sits on, it looks like a toilet seat. Yeah. And someone sits down on top. Yeah. Basically you're pussy or your penis or your balls are just like hanging down on top of their face. This is insane. You're smothered by their box.

The fact that this is on Etsy, this is people's crafts. This is artisanal smother boxes. It says, and everything says smother box queening chair. And then here's one that's like FemDOMOE pleasure chair. So it's BDSM gear. Like you throw it in the category with like whips and chains and handcuffs. and all that stuff. People have like smotherbox stores on Etsy.

I did not know you could sell this kind of stuff. This one is $500. But like right next to that is like a leather muzzle. Okay. No, people are going to need to know what their state. I'll just run through a few. So Utah is balloon. You fucking weirdos.

I'm kidding. I'll see you guys in Salt Lake. Bring your balloons. Ball busting is Connecticut and Illinois. Biting is Iowa. Wait, ball busting. Because for me I just like get made fun of. Right.

It means like you bust. You like squeeze their balls. Okay. Biting is Iowa. Breast expansion is Montana. We can't Google all these. You guys do it. Okay. I thought it was boob jobs, but it's not. It sounds like it's like the smother box for boobs.

Chastity is Nebraska. I actually thought that this would be larger. I thought that more people would be into that. Okay. CPR is Wyoming, but again, they might just be looking at life-saving techniques. Kentucky fucking freaks, diaper. I'm kidding. Don't have to Google that one. West Virginia is Ebony.

Oregon. You guys are crazy. Enema. Rana, you love that. And Enema fed? No, I use anal suppositories and it's been a long time. Also, I need to take this moment to plug my tour. So I'm going to theme every city.

So I am coming to Portland, Oregon. I'm steaming every city with their fetish. So get tickets, Ash Has.com. Face sitting, Kansas, Louisiana, Maine, Fart, Idaho, Virginia, gag, Delaware, Delaware, giantess. we said. Minnesota hog tie. That makes sense to me.

Those sweet Minneapolis people? They want to be tying people up with their hands and their feet? It's funny. Latex is New Mexico. Panyho's Ohio. And I actually had a guy in Ohio asked me to tie his balls up with pantos. That guy was from Ohio. We were in Ohio having sex.

He knew the assignment. He wasn't from Ohio. But he was like, I know what they do here. Okay. This is interesting. Alabama pedal, like pedal on a bike. I don't know what it's better. But it must mean something.

Do you think it means like your feet and your vagina get like sweaty? People are into like smelly feet and smelly vagina. Also, I don't want to leave out in these states. New Hampshire is also panty hose. Okay. Alaska? Sissy. Is that like sissy porn?

Like you're like a little bitch? I kind of just like that we're guessing. That's my guess. Sox. Wisconsin, you do great in Wisconsin. You love to sleep with a sock. I have sex and socks a lot. That's insane.

It's supposed to give you a better orgasm. That's crazy. Study show. Okay. Seriously. You know I get hot. Yeah. Maryland smotherbox.

Smoking is Rhode Island. Are these all certified as fetish searches? I guess smoking. What? All right. Mississippi. You guys need to be arrested. Tape.

Do you think people are like tape porn? Like I guess it's like being tied up. I feel like you're trying to tape someone's mouth shut. They're mouth shut. Put them in the trunk of your car. This one delightful. Tickling. The fact that it's Florida and Texas

That's all they're allowed to do sexually Women are like we won't be able to have sex soon It'll be against the law Don't be gay there Yeah right don't be non-binary or trans Right they're like sex out of wedlock is about to be illegal So all we can do is tickle

You can't get pregnant tickling Because you can't get an abortion Okay Florida Pennsylvania Texas and Washington That's funny because like Washington As a Pennsylvania resident Former resident No one's ever tickled me. Right.

The way I would elbow somebody. So the number one on this list, I think it's pronounced V-O-R-E, and I'll read you the definition. It's Army Hammer coded. So it's a fetish characterized by the erotic desire to be consumed by or to personally consume another person or creature or an erotic attraction to the process of eating in general. Eating in general practice. I mean, it's like Army Hammer. It's like wanting to like eat somebody or be eating.

eaten or like be like mutilated in some way and tattooed. And it's the number one fetish of all these. Arkansas, California, Georgia, Hawaii, Michigan, Missouri, Nevada, Vermont. All of you guys, big four fetishes. Hawaii. I didn't see that coming. South Dakota is just wedgy. Wedgy.

People have wedgy fetishes. Did you know one of our friends like when she was an only fan, some guy requested a veggie video of her just getting a wedgy? So she had her friend come over and give her a wedgy. sexual wedgy? Yeah, I mean, to him it was sexual, but they were, like, laughing. And it was, like, one of the funniest things they've done, like, to Bond. And I don't think you ever paid. That's crazy. Okay. And lastly, we have Colorado, Massachusetts, North Carolina and South Carolina, so all the Carolinas, North Dakota and Oklahoma, wrestling.

My dad's into wrestling. As a fetish. Women wrestling. Well, he's in Pennsylvania, so he's going to be tickling. It's going to be tickling. This is ridiculous. Actually, my dad's out of Florida right now, and it's funny because Florida is tickling, too. He only follows the tickles. Oh, my God. My dad will only go to a state where he can get tickled.

Wait, he lived in Texas. Wait, Ashley, tickling is Florida, Pennsylvania, and Texas. Your dad is like, yeah. He's following the tickles. He's king of the tickles. That's crazy. I'm a real tickle monster. All right.

Well, if you guys just want to get tickled, hit up Bill Greenberg. Oh, my God. I don't really, like, for as sexual as I am, I don't have, like, fetishes per se. That, like, I don't want to say like I'm so boring. But, like, I don't have, like, super out of the box fetishes, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. And I would talk about it if I did.

Yeah. I think most of the stuff I'm into is just, like, in line with what's common. And that's not, again, like, shaming. I think this stuff is super interesting. We have a great episode coming up about sex appeal. So it was Shambudram, which I'm very excited about. And she's a master class coming out. She'll be on the show.

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That's symbiotica.com slash girls got to eat to claim 20% off plus free shipping today, and I will spell it, C-Y-M-B-I-O-T-I-A dot com slash Girls Gotta Eat. Okay, I'm very excited about today's topic. Yeah. So we want to talk about sort of lies that you tell your partner. And we focused more on white lies. We had an episode about a year ago about, like, pathological lying and cheating and things

like that. So this is like a little different. A little lighter. But we pulled our audience and the answers were just incredible about what you lie about, why you lie, and where's the line? And I don't know if you remember this, why we started talking about this. I was reading this book. It's called It In Five Years by Rebecca Sable.

We both read it. And there's a line in the book where the main character just says, like, she was going to get Botox. And she's like, I'd never tell my partner he would kill me if I did that. And I was like, it's nothing against the writer. I see this all the time. I have girlfriends to tell me this all the time. Like my partner would kill me if you knew I did Botox.

Yeah, we've heard it a lot. Yeah. And I think that's pretty common. And it struck me because I was like relying to our partners about like pretty common medical procedures. Yeah. Anti-aging. Yes. And it's not a major surgery. Yeah. So it got us thinking. I have so many different, I don't even know what avenue to go down when it comes to this. I mean, I'd love to just kick it off with this. Can I tell you something? Yeah. Okay. So I started doing research, but how often we line to our partners, which most studies say one to two times a day, mostly white lies.

And that is what Drew Curtis, who was the guest that we had on, this episode said that you, like, lie every day. Yes. So I want to talk to you about what a lie is. And, and what people's relationship to the truth is. But also I did a little research about what do people commonly lie about, one of the most common categories, and our audience fell directly into these. So we'll break these down, but I just want to tell you what the six are. So finances, and little things like how much you spend on coffee every week,

or something costs, social activities. So your friends, who you're going out with, how long you spend somewhere, appearance, which we saw come up a lot. So Botox, GLP ones, things like that. Emotional state, so I had a bad day today. Past relationships, I've slept with my friend, or I slept with your friend. And then the last one's substance use.

So how often you're drinking or doing drugs. The only additional one that I really saw from our listeners a lot was sex and pleasure. So how often you masturbating, how much you're watching porn, things like that that came up quite a bit. I really don't lie to my fiancé a lot. Like even the little white lies. I hold it like in the highest, like honesty is so important to me. I think the main thing I lie about to you, to friends, whatever it is, is like, why I'm late.

Yeah. Like, but, you know, and it's usually not that far off. Like, it's just like I'm leaving and maybe I haven't left. I mean,

it's just, I don't, again, I think this is something that we all do. Traffic was bad, like whatever. I'm not, it doesn't feel so insidious,

you know, and I obviously am always trying to improve. But I don't, I don't know. I'm not trying to be on my, on a high horse. I just, it's really important to me.

I don't want him to be doing little white lies once or twice a day and I don't want to either. And I don't really have anything to lie to him about. Like, I don't even know what I would. Like, I'm really, you know, thinking of what I would lie to him about. Like, he knows everything I do to my body and my face. And, you know, I really like our honest relationship. And I'm not shaming anybody. You know, it's normal to have those little

white lies. So we want to open this conversation with kind of like, we're not attacking anybody for the way that they live their life and the way they interact with their partner or their friends or their family or whoever. But as we discussed this, maybe you think about why you're doing certain things and what that means about your relationship. And that's it. So I guess it depends on, I read a lot about this,

about what do you think about lying to your partner? And what I learned in this is a lot of people have different definitions of what a lie is and how much harm is this going to cause and a different relationship to their partner. Because a lot of this comes from, we'll talk about why people do this, but a lot of this comes from shame and judgment and

past habits that you're embarrassed to to share with somebody, feeling like you're a burden to other people and not wanting to share your feelings about something. I mean, this all comes from, like, you know, outside. And you and I have also been doing this for a long time. And so you have a good ability to discuss your feelings and what you're thinking and ask for sort of a state of the union and take a temperature with your partner in a way that's probably different than the average person.

But it's interesting because, like, I was reading on, like, Reddit specifically, and people were like, I would never lie. I would absolutely. Other people are like, well, little things here and there to spare somebody's feelings, totally fine. Or to not ruin somebody's day. Like, you might walk in the door and he's had a day and you've had a day. And he's like, how's your day?

And you just kind of, you just omit a little bit. You just don't want to get into it. Well, and it doesn't have to be about me. It's going to be applicable or whatever that I'm like, brutal honesty. You know, like, I do think, like, if your partner cooked a meal, that was not the best thing you've ever had, maybe it need a little more something, something. You don't tell them. I don't know, like, if it's inedible.

But, like, that's an example, I guess, of it being, like, babe, this is not about you. But, like, something that they're, like, cooked for you and they're proud of. And you're like, it could have used something. Yeah. You don't say it. I'd love to hang out with your parents. It sounds great.

You know, like, some people are like, that's a lie. And I would never lie. And it's like, even if you think you would never lie, you lie. You lie to make somebody's day a little bit easier to not hurt their feeling. Yeah. To not make somebody feel judged. It's not a pervation.

like I fucked my best friend and they're around us all the time. There's a huge spectrum. Yeah. There's a huge spectrum. So I find it really interesting. Some people are just like never, ever, ever would have lied. It's like, well, what do you consider a lie? I mean, I've never been really explicit about money with any partner.

But I am a little more private in general. Like I think if there's one thing, it's maybe like also maybe what certain stuff costs. you know, like, and I think guys are sometimes shocked. Like, we were in the Grove last weekend and I bought some stuff in Charlotte Tilbury. And he was like floored by how much like the face cream cost. Also I buy the big giant one. But he was like, what the fuck? But it was with no judgment.

He knows I make money. You know, like we're not sharing a bank account or my money's his money. And we can talk about that too. But I think if there's anything that I'm maybe less transparent about, it's money. But I'm just more private about money. There's a huge scale between. I get coffee four days a week and he doesn't really want me to and financial infidelity. I'm lying about debt.

I'm hiding all these bags. We can't really afford it. I'm gambling. Like pathology is different to me. Like I think we all lie to our partners a little bit. Just like make the day go better and not hurt somebody's feelings. And it's different to feel like I've been lied to and robbed of my autonomy to react to something.

Because I think we like lied to our partners to make the soften a blow a little bit or something. How many women have asked their partners like, did I get fat? And they lie to you a little bit or we lied to our partner a little bit. But I don't want to feel like I've been robbed of the ability to make a decision about something because you've decided that I can't handle it. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

I mean, we can talk about like the Botox and stuff. So for me, if I were to ever little white lie to him, it would be more to spare his feelings and not because I ever feel judged by him. He lets me live. That's our relationship. I don't feel like I need to keep up any sort of appearance. He doesn't care what I spend on stuff. Like I just don't feel judged.

And I think he like loves me inside out for who I am. And when it comes to the Botox stuff, I think there are a few different reasons. I can think of one couple and I'm, I think the reason is she wants him to think she's just aging, naturally, beautifully, not aging, basically. And that's that. I can think of another couple that he just doesn't understand the different types of injectables. and some men hear Botox and they think it's filler. And if you sat them down and explained what it was,

like, again, yes, there's a difference between a needle to the face and anti-aging cream. But there's not that much distance between the two. This is just an anti-aging thing that's very common. They think big lips and your face is going to change. And I understand that. Like, I would want to know if my partner was going to go to the doctor and come home looking a lot different. Totally. And I would invite people like that to just dig a little.

deeper. And if somebody says, like, I don't want you to get Botox. Well, why? It's going to change your face. Well, why do you think it is? Because I don't like the way your face could look. Well, I am getting Botox now. Do you like the way it looks now? Well, yeah. And then I guess the other thing is money. And I guess those are the three reasons. And like, are you sharing money? Is it his money? Is it her money? That there's that too. But what do you think about not wanting your partner to know you're aging? I mean, I don't want to be in that relationship. I don't want to be scared to age. I really share a lot. You and I both.

We just like, God forbid, you and I had a thought we didn't think we were sharing. I mean, I can't imagine doing anything for an hour and coming home and not telling somebody. Even one day, like, you and I had dinner. It was very funny. I heard we had dinner somewhere. And then I heard you talking to your partner the next day. And you said something about how good the restaurant was. And I was like, you didn't tell him yet?

Like, I can't imagine you or I, like, experiencing anything and not, like, rushing home. Also, yes, there's an addition of, like, I'm paying for it. So, like, you don't really have a right to say anything. to me about what I've done to my body that I'm paying for. You can have a preference. Sure. If I said I'm going to go from a D cup to an A cup, you are welcome to have a preference. Chopping your hair off.

Yeah, it's coloring your hair. And a lot of people don't subscribe to that. They're like, I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want at all times. I would want to know if my partner was, again, making huge changes to their appearance. I would just want a heads up. Shaving their beard. Stuff like that's crazy. I don't.

I can't. I know. Stuff of my nightmares. So the thing that came up probably one of the most in our audience's appearance. So definitely when you get Botox and other aesthetic treatments, weight loss assistance. So GLP-1s, a lot of people said I'm on them. I'm a lot of my partner about them. Dieting and exercise.

So pretending that you are dieting and exercising. But why? Like, again, like, I just got to dig in deeper. You know, like, I'm thinking every one of you listening, you're one of my close girlfriends and, like, you're asking me advice. And I'm asking you to take a deeper look at why. The thing that pisses me off boast and we'll just, we can just close that conversation is guys that want to tell you to not do this stuff.

and they don't even fucking know what it is. You don't know what it is. You think it's filler. It's not like, it's just like educate them. And like if they still are like, well, I just don't like it. I don't know what to tell you. I'm not saying break up with him. But like I just think of a married couple I know.

And like he has always been anti and she does it behind his back. And like he doesn't know the difference. Again, like you said like, well, I've been getting it. I guess I could see a world in which a lot of couples are like, it doesn't matter if I get like, like he doesn't like it. And it's not worth talking about it. Okay. That's also fair.

You know? Like, I don't need to explain this. That's true. Yeah, exactly. Like, is he going to catch you and divorce you? Like, you could be like, I've been getting it and you ain't been knowing it. You know, like, so I do think you're right. It could be one of those things where, like, he doesn't get it and that's fine and you're

going to spend money on it. And I do think that's like a solution also. Like, it's fine. Just keep doing what you're doing. But the GLP-1 stuff, again, like, I don't have any judgment on why you would want to keep that from somebody, but it feels like such a big decision in your life. And maybe not. Maybe you don't think of it that way.

But like that was a big decision you decided to make. And like it feels like you'd want to share your journey with your partner. It's a tough. That one's tough because so many people are on them. And if my partner was injecting something into their body, self-injecting once a week and it's prescribed by a doctor, I do think I'd want to know just because I love you. And this is not a long-time tested medication on people that don't have diabetes. But I understand the shame around telling people that you're doing that.

Yeah, and I guess there's two camps you have been doing it and then they come in and then I get it. I guess I'm like you're in a committed long-term relationship and you make that decision. It just feels like you'd, I'd want my partner to know I was making that decision. I'd want their support. People have various emotional experiences with it, you know, and it's just like you're hiding it from them. That just bums me out, I guess, but for everybody's got their own reasoning. Yeah, I think there's a lot of shame, obviously, we're on weight loss and probably people have turned to that, have like tried to. a million other things. And so I get it. But I guess for me, if my partner was injecting something

into their body, I'd want to know. And if you live with somebody, how do I not know? Because it's refrigerated. So like the lengths that you're going to to hide it, I would hope you would feel comfortable telling me. Right. Right. Yeah, you got to hide it. You'd really have to hide it. Like, you got a secret fridge somewhere. Yeah. The working out and the, I don't know. I had a partner that like I just thought he was so unhealthy. And he always complained about, like, his body and stuff. So it was like it did kind of affect our relationship in the way that he felt about his body. But then he would, like, go get fast food and not work out and all that stuff.

So it did affect our relationship. I'm not breathing down someone's neck like, you need to be hotter, you know. But it was just like I did start to feel like I wanted him to be healthier for his own self and for the sake of their relationship and his mental state. And so I'm sure there were times when he lied to me or felt the need to lie to me. it's like that judgment. But like you've got to ask yourself why do you feel like your partner is judging your body?

I think to me, the weight loss thing is a great episode a couple years ago with James Clear talking about atomic habits and why people know something's good for them but can't stick to it. And dieting came up a lot. And, you know, it's hard to stick to it

because it is natural and comfortable to stick to what is normal to you. And I think you make these big proclamations we all do to resolve to lose weight and we tell our partner and we're excited and we're proud. You make a big deal about it.

They make a big deal about it. And then you renege on it. You're embarrassed. And it's like so embarrassing. It shouldn't be. Weight loss is super fucking hard. And deciding to like not eat carbs in lieu of like a vegetable, very hard. But I think a lot of shame around like complaining about your body and not liking it,

feeling self-loathing. And then being like, but I reneged on this thing, I promised. You know? So a lot of people said like I, there's people that said I tell my partner I'm a vegan, but I eat dairy and private. that came up a bunch. A lot of snacking. A lot of just like I run and have snacks when they're not around,

which I thought was funny. Definitely like I say, I'm working out, but I'm not. The only problem I have when I say with I'm working out, I'm not is if you tell me that you're out of place and you weren't there. Yeah.

I don't like that. Yeah. That's a real lot of it. Again, I just want to know the reason. Like you said, there's like this internal shame. They don't care. They could care less.

That's on you. Or you feel like you need to look a certain way for them. And like they are breathing down. your neck to like be thin and hot or whatever it is, you know, which that's not a great dynamic. No. That you want to feel like you can't ever relax and be yourself and look how you want to look. Yeah. You know.

So a lighter thing that came up a lot was just grooming in general. Tweezing came up continuously. But like, what do you, what's the lie? Do you tell this funny joke? I don't know. People should go see your stand-up, but you talk about tweezing your chin. And like people just maybe don't want to know, like, that your partner, you want a partner know you tweez your nipple hair.

Like this comes up a lie. Yeah. Like, did they ask? Why is there a lie? Like, is your partner like, did you tweez your nipple hair today? You know, like, I don't think you ever need to bring it up or lie about it. Oh, so true. Don't ask, don't tell.

Also true. Like, just shut the bathroom door. Yeah, like my fiance caught me plucking a chin hair. Come see my standup. I'll tell you the whole story about it. AshS.com. No. So it's just like, it's so funny.

But, sorry, I snorted. It's funny that that's the lie. Like, can you imagine your. man comes home, he's like, what have you been tweezing? Did you tweeze your chin today? What if you're hooking up and they're like, you had a hair on your nipple yesterday. I know what was there? Well, then there's something to lie about. You're like, well, let me get to that. I think that a lot of people don't necessarily want their partner to know, like, how the sausage got made. Yes. If you are bleaching or waxing your mustache, I'm telling him everything about that. I will say that. What if you bleached your

butt hole. I think he noticed. He noticed on the second week of the month when we do butt stuff. No. I don't know if he would. That's hysterical. You're fucking. He's like,

did you bleach your butthole? I feel like men would never know because they don't even notice who you dye your hair. So like what are the odds they would, if a man didn't notice I bleached my hair, but they noticed my butthole was a different color. He is not up close and personal with my butthole in broad daylight. I don't think. There's probably been a time or two.

Yeah. But stuff is not for the afternoon as mine. I guess we've done doggy in the daylight. Yeah, but face to butthole. He hasn't eaten my butt hole, so we'll do it tonight, Valentine's Day. Okay, I thought this one was interesting, lying about your emotional state. So a lot of stuff came up about past trauma, which, of course, I understand trauma in general. You need to share that when you're ready.

You go to therapy, you figure out how to do that. I understand that. But a lot of just, like, I'm stressed out today, and I lied about it. it because I don't want to like burden my partner. Yeah. I mean, you obviously should be able to tell your partner how you're feeling and be vulnerable and let them support you. But do you just feel like it's been too much lately? Like what is the reason? Like, are you just like, I don't want to dump on them today. I've been dumping on them a lot lately. I'm going to go talk to a friend or a family member. What is the reason? Because you should feel like you can talk to your partner about what's

going on with you. But I also respect the notion of keeping it in the box sometimes. I also dated someone that just dumped on me constantly. It was every single thing he was going through. I had to hear about and support him and try to fix. And it was too much. So, and, you know, bless him. I hope he's doing well. He had a lot going on.

And I'm sure it's not the case anymore. But like, he just needed more professional help. I mean, whatever it was, I had to bear the brunt of all of that. So I wish it would have been a little less. It's just kind of like, where's the line? You know, is it like we both got home. We had a bad day and I'm just going to let him have the floor today. or like I got home, I was having a bad day, but they're taking care of the kids.

And so I'm going to let them have the day off for my issues. Or like, are you complaining about your job every day? Mm-hmm. You and I say this. Like, you have to get a new job. You know, like, again, it's not so easy. I really do understand. I think it's harder than ever to get a new job.

But like, you have to at least be actively trying if you really hate it that you come home and have to dump about your job every single day. So I can see where you're like, I can't do it today. I got to tell her I had an okay day. Or him, you know. I think we've, I think, I hope, we've stopped selling girls this live, the cool girl. And nothing bothers me and I'm fine about everything. And I think that that is a very quick, slippery slope road into pretending you never feel anything.

Nothing bothers you. And people only know what you show them. So then somebody just assumes you're just like cool with everything. And suddenly you're not a doormat, but like you've disappeared in this relationship. Yeah. I mean, vulnerability brings you closer to anybody romantically. platonically. So you have to be vulnerable with your partner. But again, this is just like what's the motivation? Like if you really feel like you can't open up to your partner, that's a problem.

It's a problem. Yeah. Like at all. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, also sometimes you don't have the energy and it's just going to be okay. You know, like, there was something to happen professionally recently with us. And it really did like bother me. It was something that kind of dominated the day, but like, it's just such a long story. And like, I think he did say like, is everything okay? And I was just like, yeah, and I actually just kind of kept it moving. And I was like, I just don't have the energy to tell the story right now. I think I might have told him later. I think it was like, eventually I had the energy to be like, oh, this thing happened and here's how we fixed it or worked it out. But at that moment, it was on my mind. It had been. And then I did let it go. So then I was

fine for the rest of the night. We had dinner. We did whatever. But sometimes it's just that. Yeah. I think that that's fine. Yeah. I think that like relationships are just a negotiation all day long, you know, and it's fine. And also, like, it's important to just have a space with your partner where you just feel like at some point you feel like you can have the floor if you need it. Of course. Of course. Yeah. I feel like financial stuff. I feel like I would lie about it. So like it runs the gamut, like the cost of an item. I think we white lie that this thing was like $40 and it was $80 or how much we buy coffees. But I shop a lot and I could see a scenario in which a partner would not love that. Yeah. But you have a little shame around it. That is why I lie about it. That is why

That's the reason. No one should care what you spend. You make your own money. You know, you make plenty of it. You know, so it's not that. It's just like how you,

it's that you feel a certain type of way. I could also see myself changing a little bit. But my partner said, like, it's time to like evaluate how much stuff's in the closets and how many packages we get every day and this is not normal. Like,

I could probably go to therapy for a shopping addiction. The amount of packages that come and that Tesla returns for me, I mean, it's not normal. And I return a lot. And my girl, math of that is like I'm making money.

And like you said, I make plenty of money. I've never put myself in a financial situation. I've no debt in my life. I've zero debt. But like if it all went away tomorrow, in 10 years, I would look back and be like, I didn't need all this stuff. That was like a good exercise when I packed up the house too, doing the LA fires, we left town.

And I was like walking through the rooms. Like, this is just crap. Everywhere, just stuff. Yeah. So I do understand there being a lot of shame around that, especially when your partner is paying for more than you are. or you should be contributing and you're like lying about why you can't contribute. I mean, that's tough.

The dynamics are tough there. I mean, I think a dynamic that I don't love, which, again, whatever works for you is when all the money is shared. Like I grew up where my parents obviously had a shared bank account. My mom had her own checking so to my dad. You know, and that's my mom took me shopping on that. And like, sometimes it was like, don't know your dad. You know, like, women should have their own money, you know.

But like, again, if you don't make any money, then I don't really know what the answer is. So I just wouldn't like someone monitoring my spending all the time. So just for anybody who's listening, like if you make your own money, don't let someone take that away from you, that you don't have your own bank account in some way, you know, even if you have a shared one too. I do think that's a setup of like most couples is shared and then separate obviously. But yeah, I mean, when you have a dynamic where one person makes more and maybe they're spending more on the rent or on the travel or whatever it is and the other person is, frivolously spending, it is tough. And it is going to be tough for the person, not always, but it may be tough for the person spending more to see that. Because like, if you can spend it on all this, like, can you give me more for rent or can you pay more for the trip or like whatever

it is? And how do you avoid that? I mean, it's the same thing as a friend that owes you money and then you see him on an airplane. You know, it's like that meme of just like when someone's traveling and like they owe you money and they're taking a trip and you're like the bird on the window like tap in you know like it's weird to see it's a bad dynamic we've done plenty episodes about money and it reminds me of our very first episode about money in like 2018 i was talking about a relationship at that time i used to have like psychotic fights with my ex back then yeah because i had lent him money i paid for more stuff there wasn't such a disparity between us i mean i i made quite a bit more than that him, but I didn't make that much.

He just really didn't make anything. Yeah. But like he would buy weed. He would take cabs home at night. Like he would buy himself shoes, like a new pair of sneakers. And like, it's not that people aren't entitled to be comfortable and have a comfortable life, but you're not entitled to it when you owe me this volume of money and you're making no attempt to pay me. Yeah.

And this just, again, cliche as fuck comes down to communication. You got to talk about this with your partner because you will just harbor that resentment when you're covering more of the financial burden and they're out buying, Weed and shoes and cabs. We need and shoes and cats. What a life. Okay, well, we've three more main buckets. Sex and Pleasure.

So we can do whole episodes on this, but frequency of masturbation, what type of porn you like, and just generally like things you enjoy in bed or things like that. I think sex is its own bucket kind of about how to communicate intimacy. Like this to me, I'm like, is it a lie if you say you like something or you're just trying to like make somebody comfortable? Yeah. There's all kinds of issues around porn addiction and online activity. and to me that's kind of like a separate thing.

Yeah, again, and that's the, there's a little bit of a bigger issue there. You know, like, I don't know. What is the dynamic with the porn and the line? Is one person badger and the other one constantly, how much porn you watch today, how much porn you watch today? Like, or is someone really a porn addiction and they got lied to you about it like any other addiction? Mm-hmm. Okay, we'll come back to that.

Okay. Past relationships, big one. So lying about you having slept with one of your friends, lying about having slept with one of their friends, and number of sexual partners. Yeah. Number of sexual partners is not their business. Never. What is the difference? What's the difference? I mean, I guess, well, you know, I want to know if it's like two. If it's too small, I want to know. If it's too small. I mean, I have had more sexual partners than my partner. He knows this. He's not asking for the number. I'm not really asking for his. I don't know. We got a good thing going on. I don't, I always question why you need to know that. But some people really just, they want that info. and it doesn't have to come from like a controlling or possessive place. You just want to know for whatever reason.

I don't know. If someone was really coming at me for that, pastoring me for that, I wouldn't. I mean, I guess there's just a tone and you know it. Like some things are just a genuine curiosity. You know, I just, I want to know. Have you had a lot of sexual experiences? It's fun for me to hear about it. I don't know.

I mean, how do these conversations go? They're all case by case. You know, is someone asking kind of lightly because they're just curious? and you get defensive and you're like, you don't need to know that. And then they're like, is it 500? Like, again, no shame on the number. But I think if you immediately kind of get defensive,

they're like, what is it? You know what I mean? I'm trying to think about how I've answered in the past. I mean, it's just sort of like. Enough. Enough. I don't need to talk about it and I don't need you to talk to me about it.

Like, it's a two-way street here. I don't need you to tell me. Yeah. Like, I think you can talk about your sexual history with your partner. You know, I think that most people I've been with know that I was way more busy sexually in, like, college and in my 20s. And this is out there in the open on the podcast and my stand-up and stuff like that. And, you know, then it slowed down.

And I don't want any wild oats to sew. And I know what I'm doing. And that's really it. And I'm not asking for anything from you. That's all I care about. Yeah. Have you had enough experience? Do you feel like you've kind of filled your cup out there in the world?

Yeah. I personally never had any STDs in my life. by the grace of God, I'm a medical miracle. I really spent a lot of years not using condoms. I'm back into condoms now, but I'm into them. I have never had an STD. I don't currently have an STD. You should share those things with somebody.

Otherwise, what's the different? Yeah, I mean, like, what's the motivation coming from the person that's asking? What is the tone? Are they attacking you, you know, like, or are you just getting defensive unreasonably? Like, are you just having a conversation? You know, if I were to ask my partner, have you ever had an S. I wouldn't be like, I want to find out if he's completely clean. But maybe someone might be like, I don't want to tell you that.

I don't want you to think less of me, but I wasn't asking because I'm judging. I'm just curious. So it's always like, what's the intention? Most things are probably right up the middle, right? Like most things aren't like trying to control you or like being so like silly. You just love it. You want to hear all about their STDs. Yeah.

Most things are probably just right up the middle. It just comes up in conversation. I mean, like some of these I saw one that caught my eye. I had only fans during COVID. Can they find that out? I don't know. I always worry about like, I understand the reason to want to lie.

I don't know if I would because that seems like something that can be found out later. It's tough because like you and I are like unique. Like if anybody just took some time, listen to the podcast, they could find out about anything. That's true. Yeah. I have a really close guy friend. We had a sexual relationship really early on the beginning.

I've talked about this quite a bit. I had a boyfriend who just never asked me if we'd ever hooked up. It never came up. And I would like live in fear. of the day that he would be like, have you and so and so ever slept together? Because at that point, we'd hung out with him like 20 times.

And you can find out on the podcast that I slept with him. I've mentioned it before a couple times over the years. And that's like one of those things where I like just rolled the dice. But OnlyFans feels like it's like stamped on the internet and you can find out about it pretty easily. And your friends and family can find out about it. Yeah. The whole have slept with a friend before.

Didn't we deep dive on this on an episode recently? Yeah. There was an email from a girl that said that her partner had asked her not to tell. They had some packed together that he said, I don't want to know about anybody you've slept with in the friend group and vice versa, essentially. Yeah. And then one of the people that she had slept with had come to this party at their place. And she says to me, like her boyfriend said, have you ever hooked up with this guy? And she was like, I didn't really know what to say. Right.

And that's case by case. Someone wrote when another guy texts me to hook up. I mean, if some guy was hitting on me in my DMs or somebody texted me to hook up, like, I just think that's going to piss my fiance off. Like, why am I telling him that? Like, why are you telling him? You don't have to. I don't know what kind of, you know, trust and tell each other everything policy.

You guys have going on in your relationship. But that's also, like, omitting something. I don't, I guess there's a word in which they're asking. It's a lie through omission. And this is, like, a very gray area. because like on the one hand, I'm like, well, you tell your partner and they're probably going to get a little uncomfortable. And what did you expect? I mean, it's like being like, I cheated on you.

Now, forgive me. And it's like, well, I'm going to have a reaction to this. This is not like a good thing. It's not the same. Being DMed by somebody and cheating on somebody, not the same thing. But that's like one of those things where you're like, well, I lied to spare their feelings because I know that I'm not going to hook up with this person. Right. Yeah.

And did you just like shut it down or not respond? Well, the last bucket of things that people lie about, that should tell you is. social activities and substance abuse. So obviously how much you drink and do drugs, smoking, like downplaying that kind of stuff and the frequency of an activity. I guess you could say like the only fans thing kind of fits into here. But that's pretty like common. How often do you drink go out, things like that.

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, a lot of this stuff, it's just like, where is the line? Why are you doing it? And like how big is it? You know, like, is this something that's going to snowball into something bigger? And then you haven't been honest about it from the start? We ask people, where's the line?

Where's the line? And I think most people fall kind of in the same camp, which is like if it directly impacts their life, if it's going to be a pervasive issue, if they're going to find out and then never trust me again kind of thing. Legal stuff, like financial infidelity. Totally. All that stuff. Absolutely. I mean, there's definitely a pretty, the line is like gray, but I just like know it when I see it. There's like lies that I'm okay with and there's lies that I'm just not. And like when you find out about a lie when I get us also depends like how does somebody describe why they did what they did. Like, I felt a tremendous amount of shame around this.

I'm really embarrassed. I feel really uncomfortable sharing this with you. It flat out was none of your business, like trauma. Yeah, right. Like you said, like, does this have anything to do with you or it's just about me? And I think you have to know if it's harmless or not. I think we all know deep down, like, is this harmless truly or not? Like, is this something so trivial?

It doesn't matter. But I do obviously think honesty is the best policy. I mean, someone wrote most comes out of events. eventually so I don't overdo it. And it's just like, that's true. Like it will come out. Again, these things like snowball and like this isn't once you start lying, you can't stop.

Again, the statistic is that most people tell like one or two white lies every day. But how deep are you going to go with this? You know? Totally. And I think that like when the reason for lying is you want to like spare somebody's feelings or not cause them pain, it's like, well, what are we applying this to? Like you didn't tell them you cheated because you want to spare them and you're cheating all the time.

You know, and it's like I said before, I don't want to feel like I was robbed of the ability to react to things. But I guess there are certain things that would upset me and hurt my feelings and I don't need to know. And the DM thing is like a perfect example of like, I don't know, ignorance is bliss. Like if somebody DM'd my partner and they were like, you're hot and he never told me about it. I guess if I find out, I'd be like, what the fuck me up?

But like, I don't really need to know that either. She's going to make my day feel it's going to fuck my day up. Yeah. I mean, I just love our audience. I love the stuff that they said. Someone said anything past shaving my face. You know, it was like the little embarrassing things, quote, unquote, embarrassing, whatever, but anything that impacts him emotionally, physically, or financially.

And someone wrote something that he'd leave you over. And I don't really know how I'm interpreting that, but I wanted to talk about that today, too. Like, that's a reason. Like, you don't tell somebody something because you're afraid they're going to break up with you or leave you. That to me is like I really would have to know what it is because that to me feels like something so big that would eventually come out anyway. Like what would those things?

things be. I don't know. I mean, would that be something you did in your past? I mean, would that be that you had only fans during COVID? You know, like, is this something you think he would leave you over? I mean, again, it feels like something you did in your past. Like, if it's something really big that you have a bunch of debt, you can't hide that. You know, like you have to be upfront honest. Like when that feels like financial infidelity, like hiding something so big like that or like something crazy illegal from your past, things like that. but are you really scared your partner's going to leave you if you get Botox? Like I don't know that you want to be in that relationship, right?

Like they've prohibited you from doing something. You know, are you really scared they're going to leave you if you don't work out every day or if you take Ozempic or whatever it is, you know? So I guess ask yourself that. Do you want to be with something that's going to leave you over this thing that you're hiding from them? Yeah. I mean, I think we all kind of try to spare people's feelings. It depends on how far it goes.

Like I had a partner once asked me, have you ever cheated before? and I decided to be honest and he made me feel like that was a mistake. I explained him the situation. I explained to him why I did it, when I did it, I was in my early 20s. It was a relationship that did not last very much longer after that. I wasn't proud of him.

I always say, you and I always talk about like, once a cheater, I was a cheater, no, how do they feel about the cheating? What was the scenario? How do they talk about it now? I thought the way I spoke about it was as though I was ashamed. I wouldn't do it again. He made me feel really bad about it.

He had been cheated on in the past by somebody. I think he just applied that to me. I don't know. I regretted telling him and being honest and it definitely made me think twice about ever admitting that to another partner. Yeah. I mean, that was that Love is Blind episode. I forget what season that was where it just completely like blew up. Stephen, orange-haired Stephen told Monica they had cheated in the past. That's what it was. Okay. I cheated. Right. Yeah. I'm trying to think if I've asked that I think, I guess I have. I guess we've had that conversation. Like I guess I technically cheated on somebody when I was 18. You know, like I

think we see a lot of bad behavior in our 20s. We said it before with, you know, our episode with Esther Perel is called cheating isn't black and white, you know, I guess you have to decide if that defines someone's character. But like, to your point, you spoke about it in the appropriate way. I did this thing. I regret it. I wouldn't do it again. And he never forgot it.

It changed how he thought about it. Yeah. It changed how I thought about you. I would think about sharing it again. And I can't remember if anybody's ever asked me since then. But it's like he was cheated on. So it was like he, the reason for asking. was a projection and then the way that he viewed you as a projection.

Like that's the tricky thing. Like that's when those things go really south. Like someone is asking you because they've been cheated on and they're traumatized from it and they want to decide if you'll do it. Yeah. And that's not necessarily fair. And it feels like you can't put the baby back in the bassina. Is that the phrase?

You can put the... There's like a bunch of phrases that mean that. You can put a baby back in the box. Back in the box. But you can do that too. The baby back in the bassinet. You can always put a baby back in a bassinet. It's not like a thing that it comes out.

Like after you take sheets out of the box, it's like in the back in the box. It's like I would feel really bad lying about it to somebody. But like once I tell them, is it going to change how you think about me forever? And like this is this thing I did when I was 25 years old. Like it was a couple years ago. So don't punish me for my experiences two years ago.

Yeah. And again, like did it define your life? life in any way. Like, is it that big of a deal? Like, to tell them, is it part of your story? Can you just lie? I don't know. It is not part of my story. It's something I learned a big lesson from and I would not repeat it. It was a relationship when I was pretty young. It was early on in a relationship. I don't know. There's a lot of factors. And I mean, I guess somebody could listen to this episode and be like, you lied to me. But here, here's the thing. If someone is asking you that and the answer of you saying you have cheated a long time ago, you regret it, you learned your less. Like, if that really makes

them freak out, like, there were going to be problems anyway. There were going to be problems of them being insecure, thinking you're cheating. Like, if they are so on guard about cheating all the time, like, you're going to have more problems. And I stand by that. So again, like, if someone hears that and that immediately just like sets off, like, all their alarm bells, like, those were going to come out anyway. They're just terrified of being cheated on and like they're going to be looking for those things anyway. Yeah. And I think you'd be hard pressed to find somebody that's not a relationship to cheating in some way at some age. I think it was Esther Perel on our show said that it's like the most universally looked down upon practice but universally practiced. And like so many people do it.

This is probably the most hot button thing of all these should you lie about this thing is like I cheated on somebody. It's hard for me though when somebody asks me a point blank question. And I just flat out lie. Yeah. And that feels different than like, did you get Botox today? Did you tweez your butthole? Yeah. Most other things, I think we're just trying to like make people feel comfortable and good.

And it won't affect them in any way, whether I'm honest with them or not. It'll actually probably affect them negatively. And this has no bearing in our relationship. And I like how that girl frees it if it doesn't hurt them financially, physically or what was the other one? Anything that impacts him emotionally physically or financially. So like, if I can just omit something, they would kind of bother somebody, but it does not have a material impact on our relationship. I mean, everybody's welcome to their own relationship with the truth, but I think it's

fine to like omit stuff that like will genuinely never impact your relationship ever. Yeah. But, you know, I also think honesty is like the best policy, but everybody does these things overall honesty. But again, these things are like normal and common. And at the end of the day, you got to ask like, what's your intention for being dishonest? And I also think it's important to think about why you may be anticipating someone's reaction to be negative if you are lying to them because they may not care. You know, like what evidence do you have that they aren't going to like what you have to say?

Like, are you basing this on a past partner? Are you basing this on your friends' partners? You know, have you only heard that guys get mad when you bring up Botox? Like, why do you think they're going to react poorly? and I say that only to do the self-reflection of what evidence you have because they may not care. You know, I think we've all been in those situations with people where we think something's going to be such a big deal and we tell them and it is no big deal. So are you paranoid about something in your head that really wouldn't be a big deal at all? Right. Is this a projection?

Yeah. And a lot of this, I think, is rooted in this desire to appear to be successful and unburdened and somebody who doesn't need to overshunded. over shop or quit the gym and you want to look successful, but that is your own projections of success and how you want to be because we are all flawed and your partners are going to see those things and you have to be able to create an environment where you can discuss those things. And I understand the nature to be like, but I want them to see us to be a certain way, but we are all flawed people. And you could even become closer when you are more vulnerable and more real. You just never know. So ask yourself where you're,

your motivation to do these things are coming from. Yeah. It's a problem if it's a pattern. Yeah. It's a problem if it's all the time. Yeah. You find out these like lies. I mean,

I talked to that. Little tiny things. Little tiny things. You find them all out. You're like, oh, are you a liar? Have we talked about what you occurred as somebody in my life that just like

lies a lot of a lot of people in my life a lot? Yeah. But this one guy. And it was a lot of little harmless lies. But like when you're like, well, you add them up and you're a fucking liar. Yeah. And I don't know.

I think when you realize somebody's a liar, it really shakes your, your relationship to reality. Because you're like, how did I not see all this? Has everything been a lie? Yeah. And I can't trust you. And when it comes to the most harmless of all lies, what are you thinking about? I mean, we've all asked our male partners this. I actually want the straight answer.

So someone, of course, I want to know he's like thinking about me in our future together or whatever. But like, you know, that's not always the case. like men's minds work in crazy ways. They're thinking about the Roman Empire three times a day, whatever. That's where the whole Roman Empire thing started. But someone wrote in, do you think this was from a dude? It's from man. Oh, it's from me.

Okay. So what are you thinking about? He said, I always lie when I'm asked what I'm thinking about. I'd rather say you or our future together or something else inane rather than admit I'm wondering how many sixth graders it would take to overpower a horse-sized praying mantis. And like, Sparkleyes asks me, what are you thinking sometimes? Because, you know, I'll be deep and thought. I can't hide it.

You know, I'll be, like, stressed or thinking about something or over-analyzed, like, you know, microplastics. And it's important. Usually, I'm just like, you can't over-analy. You and I just have never had a thought that we didn't share. Yeah. But I think that, like, when you just bucket it out to, like, women and male dynamics, I think women want you just like, I'm thinking about you.

And, like, men just aren't. They're not thinking about anything. They're thinking about food or video games or sports or porn. Some ridiculous thing. This insane scenario. Yeah. All right. Well, now I hope that helps. Yeah. These submissions were like really incredible. We were really excited to do this episode. And you guys are always just so honest and amazing and open about your lives. And I feel like I learned something new every week. Yeah. You guys are the best. Thanks as always for, you know, inspiring these episodes and writing and sharing. You guys can find us at girls got to eat.com. Girls Gotta Eat.com.com. Girls Gottaeat eat podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess. Ash Hess.com.org. for all the goodies.

And you can subscribe on YouTube, share this episode with a friend. And we will see you Thursday. I always pause. I'm like, have a good week, guys. Bye.