Girls Gotta Eat - What Does a Wedding Cost? (and Other Burning Questions) with Planner Jacquelyn Aleece

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

We have Ashley's wedding planner in the house! Jacquelyn Aleece, founder of The Wedding Plan & Company, joins us to answer all your burning questions about weddings and spill some tea. We discuss money stuff – how much a wedding actually costs, where to save and where to splurge, her #1 budgeting tip, if there really is a "wedding tax" when it comes to vendors, and so much more. We're also chatting about the biggest mistakes couples make when planning, bands vs. DJs, and how to make your wedding feel more fun/less stuffy. As for the tea – What kind of bride is Ashley? Can Jacquelyn tell if a couple isn't going to make it? What's the biggest drama at weddings? – and more. Before she joins us, we're catching up on Rayna's houseguests and Ashley's wedding dress drama. Enjoy! Follow The Wedding Plan & Co. on Instagram @theweddingplanandcompany and visit their website for more. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for live show tickets and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Smart Mouth: Get a special discount on your next SmartMouth purchase at https://www.smartmouth.com/gge/. Function: Our first 1000 listeners get a $100 credit toward your membership at https://functionhealth.com/gge or use code GGE100. Saks Fifth Avenue: Head to Saks Fifth Avenue for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style, every day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First of all, if you want to know if you're marrying or a person, just ask your wedding planner. No, I'm so excited. I'm dead serious. This podcast is a dear media production. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back.

Wedding episode. Actually, I'm so excited. One month. Not even not my wedding, but I'm excited. Really one month till things pop off. So we are pretty much now, I guess, starting technically on the 29th of October. That Wednesday? With close family that's coming into town.

And it's not an official event. It's not on the itinerary, but people are probably going to come to our house. And that is the day that I met him. Wait, that's crazy. Isn't that crazy? What? We met on October.

I know. Isn't that crazy? He, like, there's these things keep coming up that we didn't even think about. I mean, this was the same thing as me realizing my best friend, Corey and I were going to have the same anniversary. Like, we met at the show in, Boston on October 29th, 2021. Actually, that's, I'm like so shook on it.

This is crazy. And now four years later, we're getting married and that's when things are going to kick off. It's really special. It is really special. Yeah. So anyway. I don't like to make any plans. You've made all my plans for me this fall.

I love it. I know you're just a long for the ride. A bunch of bachelor's, we're going to go for your special taping, your wedding. I don't want to do out plans when you're wedding. over. Well, we have a couple other people getting married. Like, you know, I've been meaning to say this to you. I have more weddings this year and bachelor at parties than I ever have in my life at 40. I just, I've had a really different life trajectory than like the average person. So of you. Like, we have a lot of weddings this year. Yeah. Oh, coming up. Yeah. Yeah. And backstrap parties.

Like the fiscal year. Like from my stuff to like, yeah, we have Alyssa. And Jenny just got married. My friend Sam's getting married. Like all these bachelor parties. It's kind of crazy. I mean, It's so fun. I had a great 30s. That decade, just unscathed by people's spouses or children. It really is funny. It's the 20s and the 40s. It's the second wave for us at least.

Taylor, yeah. I'm saying it's like, but I love it because we don't have a lot of plans next year. Well, I don't. You're going to make a plan. You're going to make a plan. But I feel really free like with Alyssa's sister emailed about The Bachelorette. And I'm like, I can go anytime. well in my life

it was like fill out your dates I'm like any time works is that crazy yeah that's been my year the whole year I don't I never know what city I'm gonna be in day to day I'm so many people coming to stay with me people like can I state your house I'm like yeah we're wide open that's fun yeah all right well we'll think our part of it

then we'll get like right into it but thank you to smart mouth get a special discount on your next smart mouth purchase at smartmouth.com slash gge and function our first 1,000 listeners get a $100 credit towards your membership at function health.com slash gGE or use the code gGE 100 and thank you to sacks fifth avenue head to saxith avenue or sacks.com for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style so my fiancee is leaving for his bachelor party and he hasn't traveled without me like we've gone in a lot of trips together but

I'm always the one leaving and touring and he stays with the zool and so he hasn't left me since he's moved in. That's insane. I know. I'm so sorry. Or he's, if he's traveled, we've both been gone. Right. So he has done stuff. You haven't been alone up in the house by yourself. That's one point. I haven't slept in my bed alone since January 31st. I've been alone plenty when I'm traveling, but like he hasn't left me alone at the home. Like I always want to be with him and I like I miss him when I'm apart from him. I really just do love him so much. But like I am looking forward to being alone. I love being alone. Like watching my TV, I only got two days of it.

We're recording a little bit farther out. But I only have two days and then I'm leaving again. But it's just like, you know, I don't hate it. I love being alone. I know. I know. I just always in the house doing something. It is.

Your life changes so drastically. This is not a hot take. But to be alone all the time and then to never be alone, it's kind of nuts. I lived with two men all through my 20s. I was just never alone. and I lived with a man in my 30s. I just, I love being alone. I mean, I love living with him.

I know you too. But I'm going to love to be alone also. I am actually about to have the opposite experience. My house is booked and busy. You are hosting an Airbnb. I really, well, Jeremy is staying with me this week, and then Jackie comes. Then I'm leaving, and Jeremy and Jackie are staying at my house together. So, where you are running a hostel out of that place.

And then our other friend Jackie is staying with me. So fun. Andrew and Brenner are staying at my house. Jackie's going to stay. Actually, we have two different Jackie staying. I have a constant And everybody wants to come out for your wedding early So like all of our friends are coming

A lot of the weekend before I've had three separate people Including one former couple Both asked to stay at my house And I had to give priority to one of them Because one of them asked first Brena Do you have a spreadsheet for this shit?

I started making notes About who's staying with me every single day I need to get the schedule too Because I want to be over there Oh and then my brother and sister-in-law might come And then oh Melanie might come out Yeah, I have a lot of business and a lot of people. This is crazy.

Well, you know, I complain every single day that I have nothing to do in L.A. and I'm always alone. So, that's the answer. It's going to be so fun. I'm going to be so fun. I love it. And we just booked your third bachelor's. Okay, yeah, I guess we are sharing all the wedding details today.

Yeah, you guys knew I was going to do three. You waffled and you canceled it a couple of times. I know. I was like, I'll get her back. I don't know if I want to do this. So, yeah, we are going to go to Vegas. I wanted to go to Vegas. And it's so easy.

Like, I was like, I can't. add this to my plate and then I was like it is actually so easy it is a quick flight it's one night only staying in hotels there's not like a house to check into people are bringing decorations and food I mean the Dewey house was insane the amount of like things that Lee and Corey brought into that house and then had to leave with you know and so this is just like so easy I mean it's get there go to dinner see the Chippendales have a pajama party room service breakfast the next morning and get the fuck home. Like, it's low lift.

This is the real bachelor's party to me because we take. Sorry to everyone's not going. But I mean, Dewey, we go every summer. And so we're with this like amazing crew. But we do Dewey every summer. Vegas is. I'm not going to co-zone. So that's pretty much what's going on.

I had like a dress update. I'm just, you know, a little, little bit of tea. I picked up my dress and, you know, you go to the boutique. We talked about it. you went, my mom, Taylor, it was a really special time. And then you, you know, drop a bunch of stacks on this dress and they take your measurements. And then you go back to pick it up months later. And they typically say you will need more alterations.

I think that typically means because a lot of brides lose weight. And because I was like, what do you mean? You measured me. This better be made for my body. And I think a lot of people are like, yeah, but I'm still wanting to lose weight. And that just is not like really my story. I was like, this is probably going to be my body when I pick it up. So I go to pick it up.

I was so excited. I brought another friend, Anushka, who didn't get to go to the first appointment. And so she came with me, and I was expecting this, like, incredible, like, reveal. And I want to start by saying, like, I'm obsessed with the boutique, the designer, all the things. It just, we had a little bit of a mishap, which I'll share with you guys. So I, a guy put it on. And immediately, I was like, it just is sitting a little different in terms of, like, the bodice and, like, where it sat on my... hips and I don't want to give too much away and like what the dress exactly looks like.

But I was like, okay, but that's understandable. I tried on a sample size. It was a lot larger. They have to clamp it in the back. It wasn't made for me. So it's already kind of sitting up a little higher than I remember. And then as we really get into it, I was like, oh my God, it's like just does not fit. Like it's too, the bust is so big and it's up so high.

It's like uncomfortable under my armpits. Like I was like panicking. And like, I wanted to be so excited, but I walked out and you can. could feel my anxiety. Like Anushka was like filming this. She's like, oh no, like something's wrong. And I'm like, it's just not what I remember. It's not the way it's fitting.

And I feel like it's not made for me. You know, I feel like it's, I can't wear this to get married in the way that it's kind of like digging into my like armpit fat, you know? And so it was kind of like an all hands on deck situation. The manager came in and everyone's like, okay, like the designer is incredible. And I'll share all this details with you guys after the wedding. She'll fix it. If something's wrong, of course.

But we just want to make sure we know what the issue is. I went back the next day to take more measurements. And they were wonderful, but I was like a little panicked. You know, like, was this custom made in the right way? And do we need to send it back overseas where it got made and all these things? I came from London. It's like nothing crazy. And so we went back and forth trying to figure this out.

Will alterations work? And they finally were like, come back in one more time and let's zoom with a designer. And so I, and like the owner was on it, the owner of the boutique, and I'd had a call with her. I mean, this was truly like at all hands. So I go in, I had to go to 8.30 in the morning because they're coming from, they're on, they're from London. I couldn't believe you've voiced me at like 10 a.m. And you'd already lived a whole day.

So I had to go there like 8 in the morning. Everyone's there. Like the manager, the owner. And then the designer, like this big deal wedding, like designer is on the Zoom from London. And then she says to me, she's like, you know what? I've looked at all the photos. I've talked to everybody. I've seen the videos.

And I just feel like this dress is not sitting on you the way that it was designed to and the way that you tried it on in the store. And I'm like, that's what I've been saying. I'm like, that's what I've been saying. And so she's like, let's hold it in place. Let's get it on your body and let's reassess. You know, she's like, nobody did anything wrong. But I think they might have put it on you in not the right placement.

It hiked up a little bit. And we had a whole situation. So I feel like I was so tense. I'm on the Zoom. with these people were in London. Are you naked? Um, I had always wear an underwear. Like, I had on like a thaw. And they did a few more measurements even prior to that. And it was just a whole thing. And so they put it on me and I'm like, this time's going to be different. I can feel it. And they sat it down where it's supposed to sit. And I'm like, that looks right. That looks right. That's the

dress I bought, you know, or my mom bought. And they kind of put it up. But I didn't even mention two women are there from an alterations place. Like, I'm telling you there's like overall eight people total that are involved in this. Yes. And I think they were like, we did this right. We made this for you. We know what the fuck we're doing. I forgot that the two women there are from like the number one bridal alterations boutique in Santa Monica. They're there too. We took 17 different measurements. Yeah, exactly. So they get it on me and they're being like very careful with the way they lace up the corset. I'm like, oh my God, who's going to do this on the wedding day? Probably Jacqueline. And so I'm getting into it. And as it's like being buttoned up,

Everyone's like, we did it. It's right. It was made for her. The alterations, people are like, I wouldn't change a thing. They were like, we might bring the hem up, but this is perfect. Everyone is ranting and raving. I'm crying. I was like, this is the moment I wanted to have two weeks ago.

It's this whole thing. And again, like, I can't stress enough. Like, everyone has been so wonderful and making sure this is right. But it's crazy how just like the way it sits can change the whole way that the top is and the way that it's coming up on your body. I couldn't believe what you were saying to me. They put the dress on wrong. But it's like, I hate to even say that, but it's just like, the designer was like,

I made this to not really be where it, the bodice meets the skirt. It sits lower intentionally. And that's what I loved about it. I loved what it did for my body. So when it was put on me, it was just up higher. And it took away from how she designed it. And then once they got it on me correctly, it was like the top was like, the top was, like the way it's supposed to be.

It's like more dramatic. It was comfortable. It fit. We're not doing anything to it. We're going to hem it up a little bit. It's obviously super long. And once I figure out the heels that I am going to wear, then we'll do it. But like, I was like, oh, it doesn't need any work.

Oh, okay, this whole time. I mean, it was a real tonal shift from the week before. I was freaking out. Of course you were. And I knew they would make it right. I mean, you know, you get what you pay for. You spend a lot of money on a custom. made dress. They're going to make sure you love it. But I was like, now the window is closing and the

amount of time we have. We got to send the ship back to London. They have to remake a course. I mean, what are we doing here? And everyone was so wonderful. But, you know, I'll talk about the designer more post wedding and stuff because you guys could go on Instagram and probably find the dress. And like, whatever, I don't want to gate keep you guys. But, you know, I'm trying to be a little cake about it. My fiance will find it. No. He doesn't care. It's hanging in our house. Like, he's not looking at like a kid looking for his Christmas presents. Like he wants to be surprised too. But yeah, they fixed it. But I couldn't believe it. I was like, granted, you can't but I've eight in the morning.

I'm on a Zoom. There's like eight people here. And now I'm crying. I miss the crying moment. I feel sad about it. Yeah. Wait, so you have your fiance. I had an idea for you.

This is totally separate. But the egg prank that we've been talking about. What are you going to? He's going to listen to this. Okay. He's going to listen to this. I think he's going to listen to this because it's about his wedding. Okay.

We can say this now. I need to get it to his bachelor party. Oh my God. Wait, where is the bachelor party again? Is it a hotel or an Airbnb? A big house. Can we quit? I can't get it there in time.

Well, oh, damn it. All right, we'll talk later about how we're going to get it to his bachelor party. What if I was just like, whatever it costs, FedEx it? Overnight it. I just don't trust a guy. They're going to be like, what is this? You could set it to one of his friends.

I'm saying that I don't trust. You know, I would trust. I feel like Justin would handle this and like see the humor in it, if anybody would. You're going to overnight it there. I think we finally said it to your own house. Like it's a wedding gift and he opens it. I'm sending this to Maine. Okay.

Today. I think that we have to. 100%. Mail it to. I feel like I'm just going to keep coming up with like insane ways that he could find this. Oh, I wish I would have thought of this earlier. All right. I have to get it to his bachelor party.

You don't have anything else going on. Just do it. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Say less. Okay. Okay.

Well, like you guys already know, we have my wedding planner today. And it is so fun. we could have talked to her for hours. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for her. I want to hype her before she comes in. I don't know how people do this alone. I was talking to a friend and I was like, I can't believe people plan their weddings,

but without a planner. And some people have like a day of or even a week of or a month of, but like I can't imagine doing this without her. And Taylor, our friend was like, when people plan their own weddings, they become wedding planners. You know, when they really have, are able to do it.

And again, every wedding is different. Mine has multiple days, tons of details. You know, I think obviously there's weddings that are way more simple. But this, I cannot imagine this without her. And I never would have done it that way. Like that was never something I was going to do. But she's just been so incredible to work with her team. I mean, her ideas and her organization and her communication has been 10 out of 10 from the start.

And it's just been an honor to work with her. She's the best of the best. I know, like, I can't speak for every single person on our team, but I know they are. I know anyone she would hire is going to have that her level of perfection and talent. And so, obviously, we'll talk about them today and you guys can check them out. And I think she's already gotten some inquiries and clients from me posting her on social and things like that. But I just can't recommend her and the wedding plan and co enough. And it's like, aside from my fiance, aside from you, it's like she's the most important person.

she's done the most. You know, like she made this happen. And I had, we talk about it a little bit, but I knew some things that I want, I knew some things that I didn't, but I had a sort of vision and she's really helped bring it to life. And so, man, she's the best. No, I love her so much. And we had the best time recording with her. And then we went out for drinks after.

And I just, I'm so crazy about her. I just love her so much and everything she's done. Yeah. So you guys hope you enjoy it. Okay. I am going to tell you guys about Smart Mouth. I have been loving this. I have been using the toothpaste and the mouthwash.

I wasn't even a mouthwash girly before this, and I really have gotten into it. I mean, I am a coffee drinker. I love me some garlic, you know, and I worry about my breath. And I always wanted to be fresh. And Smart Mouth is the only mouthwash scientifically proven to give you 24 hours of fresh breath

with just two rinses a day. I still gotta brush your teeth more than that 24 hours, you guys. It's not going to take the place of that. But I really love that. The secret is their dual solution smart zinc technology. As you pour, the two solutions activate billions of zinc ions and instantly eliminate bad breath and keep it away all day.

So it's backed by science. It's developed by the dentist who literally wrote the encyclopedia section on bad breath. Can you imagine that as your credit? Like, I am the encyclopedia. I wrote the encyclopedia on bad breath. I would crush it at parties. Yes. Also, though, it's like I'd be scared to talk to that person.

Me too. They'd be judging me. So now it is even easier. They have a new snaptop bottle for effortless. convenience. So we are just such big fans of this and they sent us a bunch of different products and I've really been using them all. But I mean, the mouthwash is just second to none. I'm not going to name me names, but I've tried mouthwash in the past. I just don't like the taste. I don't like the feel. I don't know. I'm picky about toothpaste too. I don't like the aftertaste and, you know, some of the top

brands. I'm not going to name any names that are just like what everyone uses I've never really been down with. And so I was using another brand that I've used pretty much my whole life and I've switched over to Smart Mouth and I'm using that now. And I'm just such a big fan. So if you, you guys are worried at all about your dental health, your breath, just really check it out. We love it so much. Never have bad breath again. Find Smartmouth at Walgreens, Walmart, and Amazon, or visit smartmouth.com slash g-ge to snag a special discount on your next smart mouth purchase.

That is S-M-A-R-T-M-O-U-T-H dot com slash G-G-E. Don't miss out on 24-hour fresh breath. Your mouth will thank you. Okay. And function, I choose function because it's the only health platform. gives me data most people never get and the insights to start doing something about it. So inside function, you get access to test over 100 plus biomarkers. So that is from hormones to toxins to markers of heart health, inflammation, and stress.

And for an additional fee, you can also access MRI and chest CT scans, all tracked in one secure place over time. And that is a nearly 360 degree view to better see what's happening in your body. And that is why top health leaders are all behind function health. So this really is a great platform to just kind of figure out what is going on in your body at all times. And, you know, as we're out in the world or in our homes, you really don't know always what's in the water you drink, the air you breathe, the fabrics you live in that you sleep in. And the environment can really leave a marker on your health. Ashley and I are always on planes and in hotels.

And I'm always just like what's going on with me. Is it just like being alive or something really wrong? And certain chemicals can affect the body over time, like mold exposure. But if you really want to get a handle on things like cholesterol, metabolism, thyroid dysfunction, immune responses, they have tests for all these things and a great platform that will allow you to make better decisions. And there's tons of insights and suggestions and information for how to move forward and get healthy. So that is why we choose to use function. We have scheduled it.

Very excited to go take these tests and learn more by using our link. function is a nearly 360 degree view to see what's happening in your body and our first 1,000 listeners get a $100 credit towards their membership. Visit functionhealth.com slash gge or use the code GGE 100 at sign up to own your health. Okay. And Sacks Fifth Avenue, we always like to talk about what we're shopping for in the moment. And since we have a wedding episode today, I'm shopping for something I might want to change into at the end of the night. Like I want to wear my wedding dress like most of the night. And at the end of the last hour really, really.

turn up and change into like a little white dress. And so that's what I'm looking at. I love sacks. I mean, look at that one. Bronx and Banco. Actually, I'm upset. I know this dress very well. And I'm very obsessed with this dress. I know. And like this stowed, everyone talks about stowed, the brand, like this sequined fringe mini dress. That reminds me, we have a friend that wore something similar in red at her wedding. Yes. I love that. Yeah. She changed into red for like the end of the night. And so that's what I'm looking. And just so many different price points. I mean, you can get Prada, obviously at a higher price point, or you can find brands. I'm looking at this gorgeous dress right now from favorite daughter. It's 200 bucks, you know? So I think there's such a range,

and you can really find everything you guys are looking for. There's a couple of websites. I just feel that like everybody is always in the same outfit all the time, and I'm just like looking for something a little different with the same quality, so that's why I like sex. Yes, and just the range of designers and styles and price points, and super, super trendy stuff, and then also really classic stuff. You can just find it all. So we just love it and we just want to hammer it to you guys like sack, sack, sacks, sacks. Like think of it as your go to, especially if you're shopping for any sort of special occasion. So if you guys are like us and you are looking for anything to wear anywhere, shopping should be fun and easy so you guys can head to Sacks Fifth Avenue or Sacks.com

for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style every day. And let's get into it with Jacqueline. Okay, guys, we have somebody really, really special today. And to celebrate that, Ashley is going to do something for the first time that she has never done in seven and a half years. I'm going to let you introduce the guest. I am so excited to introduce you guys to our guest today. She is the founder of the wedding plan and company, which plans extraordinary weddings, top to bottom, all over the world, and has been featured in People Magazine, Brides Magazine, Today Show, The Not in the Best of Weddings Hall of Fame and so much more. And she is also my wedding planner.

Please welcome to the show, Jacqueline Elise. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. We are so happy to have you. And Ashley, do you do. You did really good. That was? I've never done that.

I couldn't have asked for a better intro. Was it all accurate? Nailed it. Okay. No, you did great. And this makes you the most important person to Ashley that's ever come on this show. I've never done that. So honored.

Did I even do my fiancee when he came home? No, I actually was thinking that this morning. I was like, I think I introduced him. I love that. So first question on a scale of like one to Bridezilla, where is Ashley? Oh my gosh. Literally like a zero. Like absolutely zero.

No. No. I genuinely mean that. That's what we're right. You heard of that. I mean, yeah, we could talk about what kind of bride I am. I mean, I think, listen, there's a really big difference between someone who knows what they like, knows what they want, has a vision, and is smart and understands how to ask intelligent questions about wedding planning versus someone I consider bridezella as people who are rude, nasty, mean, demanding, demeaning, looking at all of the vendors in the service industry, of as lesser than. Yeah, as the help. And so Ashley would never and has never, you know.

And so, yeah, Bridezilla is level zero. Okay, great. So I think I know what I want in some areas for sure. And I know what I don't. But I'm also like, I defer to the experts. And then there's other stuff that I'm like, girl, I don't know, you plan it. Like I didn't have much. A lot of stuff is like leave it to the experts.

I think people think they know it all. Yes. I think you have done a really great job of saying, this is what's important to us. This is the experience we'd love to give to our guests. This is the experience we'd like to have. Even when we were looking for hair and makeup, Ashley was like, hey, so I really am not sitting with 12 people

starting at 7 a.m., getting hair and makeup done. So I was like, fantastic. So she knew the experience she wanted was to be small, intimate, not this long, drawn-out day where she's exhausted by the time she walks down the aisle, right? So we're able to tailor her wants and needs, But when it comes to finding the vendors, she's like, hey, so because this is what I want, tell me who we should be using, right?

So she leaves, tells us the vision, but then leaves it to us to find it so we can execute it. Like, she put together like vision boards essentially for the look. And I was like, no notes. Yeah. Look, I didn't tell her any direction. It was like, I'm thinking green because of this. I'm thinking these color flowers. I was like, looks good to me.

I literally was just like, that seems fine. Did you get my vision? Did you racially profile her? You're like a white girl named Nashley. No, actually. We're actually not to, to be perfectly honest, like not to give too much away. But I think this is like so opposite of like basic white girl. Like I think this is very opposite of basic white girl. Yeah. I basically was like, okay, I think we found the venue. Really when it comes to planner, client, bride relationship is you really have to talk and we have to listen. You have to

share. We have to listen. We learn about your fiance. We learn about you. We learn about your cultures. We learn about your families. We learn about just your personalities. And then we try to bring it together. We're like listening for key words. Like where do you like to travel? What kinds of foods do you love? Like it's not just what colors do you like. Yeah. That's for amateur like, hey, I created a website wedding planner and has no experience. It's like what colors do you like? We get to know the people and then try to figure out how can we bring their personality and their individuality to wedding planning. I love that and I love hearing like the background of what makes you good at what you do. And we put it out to our audience like what questions do you have and they were so good and it's so varied.

And I mean, maybe we could just hear like what do you do and how's that different than a coordinator. Yeah. And I also want to jump in and say how what a joy has been to work with Jacqueline. And you would left L.A. that day. We didn't live here. We met you through our friend Taylor. LA kind of just opened up post-COVID. And we were just out like on this boat.

Yeah. Hanging out. And I met you. And so I was just, I think even when I got engaged, you might have slid to my DMs. I'm here if you need. Yeah. I was like, no pressure. Yeah.

But if you need advice, help, not even to like hire me, but like if you even just have a question, like I'm here so happy for you. Like I've watched the podcast forever. Like I kind of knew the journey with your fiance. You know what I mean? And because we were acquaintances before this, I thought it was, you know, it was a very genuine, you know, conversation. So, and it just worked out really nicely.

And you do, you get the vision. Like you take the words out of my mouth. Sometimes you guys really. listen and I just love that distinction of someone who doesn't really know what they're doing and they're like, what's your favorite color? And one thing you said to me early on was you have got to tell me if you like something or don't like something. And to me, it sounds like you have been burned so many times by baby people, pleaser, don't want to push back clients who you get really far down a road and they haven't liked something the whole time. That's so funny. You said that because when I was

redoing my house, my contractor said that to me day one and continuously. You do not like something you must tell me. You can tell it comes from trauma. Yeah. I mean, it kind of does. I say like, it's just as important for me to know and for our planners and our company to know, you know, what it is that you like and what it is that you don't like. Here's the thing. Wedding planners, as experienced and as talented as my whole company is, we are not mind readers, right? Like, there is no crystal ball. We don't know what you're thinking. And the whole process is incredibly creative. So I could show you the same vision board I showed. Ashley, you may not like it, right? But like she loved it.

So there is no, when it comes to art and creativity, there really is no right or wrong. So it's an opinion. It's not a fact. So you can't just yes me to death as your wedding planner and then end up with something that you hate, right? So what we do is we try to encourage like the most important thing that you can have. I say in any relationship, your marriage, your friendships. If you're engaged, you're dating someone, you know, whatever it is, is communication. Right.

So like what we push in our company when we're building a relationship, with any client is you have to communicate. If there's even a form of communication style you don't like, tell us that. If there's something that will make your life easier, tell us that. Like, we cannot read your mind just like any other relationship in your life. And so we push that. And I feel like that's what gives the experience that you're having where it's like you have the freedom to be like, girl, this is not the vibe.

And I go, great, let's move on. Right? I know. But we've also, Ashley and I've just planned so many things. and I've done hundreds of live shows. So I think it's a little more comfortable for us. I don't know that it's comfortable for everybody to give you details or explain themselves. And then you do get back into a corner of people where they're like,

I don't like this. And you're like, you could have fucking you signed up on it. Like literally just tell me. Right. And that's the funny part is we don't make the decisions. We bring you the options, right? And ultimately you make the decision. So if you're deciding from things that you don't like, like you really do have to tell us.

Yeah. So yeah, I'm glad to hear that it has made your experience. It's been a joy. I can't imagine. I mean, even when you went venue shopping, and I even said to them, I was like, you're going to show up to a venue. And you may be like, Jacqueline, we hate it. And the whole point is, is that this is, it shows you, it's a nice comparison to like what your budget can, this is what this gets. This is what this gets.

Yeah. This is what this gets, right? So every venue I'm sending you to, which I think was only three or four, but like, they all aren't supposed to be perfect. Only one has to be. And also I think just as much as knowing what you like is it's important to know what you don't like. And sometimes I learn more from that where I'm just like the ceilings are too high. Oh my gosh. Carpeted ballroom.

I was that. I'm not going to say, but I was like, everything's perfect besides the fucking carpet. And I'm not doing it. Can I give like I want to do like a PSA to every hotel, every wedding venue. Where are we doing a ballroom? Please contact wedding planners. Stop hiring interior designers who they don't know how to cater to couples. Wedding planners do.

hire us to redo your ballrooms because if I could tell you how many venues have lost millions of revenue because I show them a ballroom with carpet and the other here's a look can I give my first trick about ballrooms with carpets yes if you are doing a ballroom with a carpet unless you have the money to fully cover it which is very expensive yeah lean into it so if your carpet's green do green linens. If your carpet's blue, do blue linens. Like, it's just, it's a tip. Because then it's not drawing attention to it. Totally. There's no contrast. It's blending. And once the tables are out and chairs are out, the design of it will feel much more cohesive and there just won't be contrast. So there's the, if you have to be stuck with, lean into your dusty carpet. Lean into your carpet. Right. If you're going to

make this decision, say it with your whole chest. That's, that's what I'm saying. And admit that you can't afford to cover this whole carpet. Because who. could. Yeah, it's not the best. But so many venues lose so much money just because, and we're talking brand new renaos. And I'm like, why? Like, have we not learned our lesson? It would be a hard no for me. Carpet in the airport and carpet in a ballroom. Get the fuck out. I've been in the areas of airports. Tiles that are spread out at an airport and the wheels get stuck on those tiles. I'm like, what are we doing here? So can you give us a little background on becoming a wedding planner? Yeah, of course. So I worked my very very.

first wedding at the age of 11. Oh my God. Cutie. My grandfather, and I'll keep this part quick, but my grandfather immigrated from Greece, left his wife and five kids in Greece, worked as a busboy at the UN in New York City, saved up money for two years, brought his whole family over, was like the original American dream and created like a multi-million dollar business where he owned restaurants and a wedding venue.

And I was the coat check girl at the restaurant and wedding venue. So every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday when we had weddings, I would go in the coat check closet. I would hang all the coats. And then once all the coats were hung, I'd lock the door and then I would chase the couple around, making sure her veil or her train isn't dragging on the floor, making sure I'm aging myself here because this is before digital photography. But if there was, like, let's say you're doing a picture outside and there's like a parking cone like in the distance, that's going to be in your wedding picture forever, right?

So like I was like making sure there was nothing like in the background of your phone. or making sure her curls were right or like whatever it was. So I really learned the events industry, hospitality, literally from the age of 11 on and did that. Worked Friday. Like while other people are at sleepovers, I was like, guys, I have to go to work. And by the way, can I tell you, like, to this day being a co-check girl, the best job of my life. So there were 250 people in the wedding venue, 250 people at dinner. If everyone gave me a dollar, I was making 500 bucks. I was making 500 bucks a night. No, you crush it. No, I was, I did, wasn't doing that math. I was like 11 years old, I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. You would have thought I was like a stripper.

Yes. Like I had singles laid across my room, counting them in like increments of 10. I would have like a thousand dollars for like the weekend. And I bought when I was 15, I was like, I'm going to buy my first Louis Vuitton. And I walked in and I had nothing but singles. And I said to the guy, I was like, I'm so embarrassed, but I really want that wallet. It was a $525. wallet. To this day, I use that wallet every day. I'm 40 years old. I bought it when I was 15 with my coat check girl and wedding coordinator money. And they were probably like, we're going to call the cops. No, actually, do you know what he said to me? Because I'll never forget it. I go, I'm really like so embarrassed, but I only have 525 in singles. And he looks at me, he goes, money's money,

honey. Yeah. You know, he was like, I get commission. I don't care how I make it. Like, do you work on commission? Big mistake. Yeah, big mistake. Big mistake. No, he, He leaned in. He was like, here's a 14 year old, 15 year old girl with cash. And like, let's go for it. So anyway, can I just tell you, I can't even imagine how this formed you as a person to deal with people from the age of 11 on the most important day of their life. Cannot do it again.

There are no redos. Like the baptism by fire of dealing with that shit when you are a kid. I mean, I don't have a touch point for it. I started waiting tables when I was 22 in New York City and the Upper East Side. Those people were hard as fuck to deal with. But that is nothing like the day, the month. most important day of your life. I mean, I wasn't officially like, they didn't, like, they didn't, like, sell me as the coordinator. I just was the coat check girl, you know, locking the door and then, but I knew

instinctually what needed to get done, what needed to be fixed. I looked, I used my senses. You, you know, you use your eyes, your nose, your ears, and you figure out, like, what needs to get done, how quickly does it need to get done. And there are people in this world, you know, who just jump into action. And I feel like that's what makes, like, a really good wedding planner, specifically on the day of. but like it was just something that came so natural. And there really is no wedding planning, you know, college. Like you can go to school for hospitality. But events, you know, there's a couple scammy things where like you can get a certificate

to be, that's like if I just said, give me $1,000 and I'll send you like a printout. You know what I mean? Event planning. I think there's probably less so on job, you think. You could be certified, but it's not accredited. So like essentially I could start my own certification program tomorrow and it's like it's not accredited by anything. Yeah. So anyway, that's how I got my experience was.

Literally. And then I did, and I was a waitress and I was a bartender and I was a hostess. And then I did corporate event planning. And then I thought I can't die in a cubicle. I was like, I cannot die in a cubicle. And I was 25 years old and I started the business. And my first client to this day, never knew she was my first client that was 15 years ago. And I actually just, we just did her little brother's wedding too. So 15 years later, they came back to us. I love that. So you said commission and it just made me think something I want to touch on. And we have so many questions to get to today, but I think one thing that does make you, I don't know if it's different, you tell us what's the norm is how some wedding planners charge for their services

and how that kind of affects the way they might plan your wedding. Yeah, because people are like, what does a wedding planner do and how does that, you know, shake out? So, you know, there's different kinds of wedding planning. So I'll give you an example. So most wedding planners don't do everything I'm about to talk about. My company does. I started my company kind of with the mission to employ as many females as possible, create wealthy, independent women. I grew up just watching women be controlled by money. And I was like, that's never going to be me. And it's never going to be anybody who wants to be part of my company. Like, we are going to create a universe where, you know, we have opportunities, right? My company, I do have, we have from consulting,

which is like, hey, you just want to talk to us once a month and, like, ask us questions. And, like, you're doing the emails, you're doing the, you're doing like the time consuming stuff, but you can pick our brain for a fee, right? Wow. And it can be consistent. Like you can do it once a month for 24 months. You can do it once a month for 12 months. You do it once a month for four months.

It doesn't matter, right? So we do consulting. We do, you plan your entire wedding, but you want us to come in 30 days before your wedding, tie all of it together and be a wedding, a true wedding coordinator. Meaning we didn't plan. We didn't book your vendors. We didn't create the plan. but we are going to help you execute it.

We're going to organize it. We're going to make sure you're not missing key things. We're going to go through checklist. Make sure you haven't made any major mistakes. Right. And then we're there the weekend for the rehearsal, for the wedding, and we're the ones like making sure things are just aligning. Okay.

Then we do all a cart wedding planning. So some people come to us and they go, hey, so I need help with these six things, but I don't need help with these 12 other things. And we're like, okay, great. So hire us for those six things. Like fantastic, right? And then we also do full service wedding planning, which is you come to us with a budget and a dream.

And we, you know, go from there. And we take you from brainstorming to fruition, right? So a lot of wedding planners, I would say there are some companies that do kind of the full range. I think that makes us different. A lot of people tend to find a niche. Like a lot of planners will only do full service. A lot of planners will only do coordination. But going back to commission what you said, so one of the things that, you know, I really built my business is treat your clients

the way you would want to be treated as a client, right? Like pretty basic customer service. Yeah. But it is something I believe in with my whole heart and full chest. And like there is a little bit of like this underground. Okay. So I'm going to tell Ashley to book this photographer because that photographer is going to increase their fee by 10% so that they're giving me a commission, a kickback.

We absolutely have never done that, have, will never do that. We're very transparent with that. And I will say there are going to be wedding planners who maybe listen to this and say, well, I charge commissions, but I'm upfront. If you're upfront about it and this is part of like your pitch to your client and your client fully knows what's happening, more power to you. What I have seen is the kind of the underground, you're doing it on the sly, you're having people put like an added fee, a hidden fee in there that like your client doesn't know what it is. So they're paying you for your service, but then they're also paying more for the vendor. And I just think that's stealing, quite frankly. And I would, if that happened to me as a client in any industry, I'd be livid.

Yes. So I think that the dream is that you work with a coordinator or a planner because they've relationships with these people. And the relationship would allow you to get a discount, not the opposite. That's why you hire somebody to design. Well, that's why you hire. That's exactly what we do. That's why we do interior designers. No, that's exactly what we do.

So I basically say, hey, these 20 photographers, they are trustworthy, they are reliable, they are talented, they're amazing, they're kind people, they give great customer service, their work is incredible. And by the way, you're going to get a 10% discount because we bring them so much business. So all of the relationships that myself and my 15 planners have created are all organic. And the vendors are like, we'd be happy to give them a discount because you brought us 12 weddings this year, right? Like we don't need to do the undercutting. Like, it's just not something.

And my business is not built off that. I don't need to pay my bills off of stealing from people. It's just good business. But I guess to my point, just to confirm, like, you're, if a full service wedding, a client is paying you the same amount if their wedding is 50 or 100 or $200,000, right? Yeah, so we're flat fee. That's flat. Exactly.

That's kind of my point. Because I think people think, like, the more expensive my wedding, the more that I have to pay a planner. Right. Well, I will say our fees range, not based on your budget. based on what you want us to plan. Exactly. So your budget could be 200,000 for your wedding, but if I'm only planning one day, that's what I'm saying.

It's based on the services. It's going to be based on the service, right, where if you have 200,000 for three days, might be more expensive because we're planning three days worth of events and not one day, right? So it just depends. Okay. So I'm like foaming at the mouth about budget. And that's the thing that came up the most. And so many questions about like where should I put my money, what has the largest impact

the smallest impact, but like just flat out, like, what does a wedding cost? How do I make a budget? How much is Ashley's wedding? How much is Ashley's wedding? How much is Ashley's wedding? I'm dead. You ask me straight up. Absolutely. What's ideal and what's your top top? Don't go above it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So somebody says to you like, hi, I want to plan a wedding. How much is a wedding? Okay. So I mean, genuinely I get this question every single day of my life and so do my planners. It's like, what does the wedding cost? Well, you know. How much you got? No, I mean, I wish, right? I mean, that'd be a fun answer.

How much do you have? Well, we do kind of ask, but in a nicer way. When I asked my architect to my house, I said, can we do this? And he said, you got money? Right. Well, here's the thing. Absolutely anything is possible. You can have whatever you want.

You can have whatever you want. Everything has a price tag. That's what he said. But I will say this. When people just say like point-thens, you got money? You got money? When people ask point-flank, how much is a wedding cost? They want a black-and-white answer, but it's such a nuanced question, right?

which is how much is a white t-shirt cost? Well, if you go to Walmart, a t-shirt's $6. If you go to Old Navy, it's $14. If you go to Nordstrom, it's $75. If you buy a Prada t-shirt, it's $400, right? They're all white t-shirts. So you can't really ask someone how much is anything because it's so nuanced. So one of the things that we love sharing, and there are so many theories about budgets,

and I truly stand behind, there's two correct ways to. to create a budget. The first one is you hire a planner and you say, this is how much I can spend. This is how much I have. And then we tell you, like, this is how many people you can invite. This is the location that you can get married in. This is, these are the options,

based on that number you gave us. Here, this is what it's going to cost if you get married in Pennsylvania. This is what it's going to cost if you get married in New Jersey. This is what's going to cost if you get married in, Aspen. This is what it's going to cost if you get married in Los Angeles. Dallas, Florida, whatever it is. Italy. We planned four weddings in Italy last year.

Like, this is how much that budget, this is how far it's going to take you wherever, right? The second way is, I want 250 people on a Saturday in Manhattan during peak season. And I'm going to say, great, do you have a minimum, right, of $250,000? I felt sick when you were saying that. I was like, I knew it was going to be $250,000. Yeah, I tried to plan a wedding. New York. And also, that's another thing.

Do you want a wedding in Italy? Okay, do you have the money to entertain people for three to four days who are traveling across the world? Do you want a right-nitinerate, plan a Thursday event and Sunday event? Can you afford that? Right. And listen, I've planned what, 200-person weddings for $20,000. Whoa.

I mean, granted, this was 12 years ago. Was it a park? It was at a fire station. Of course it was. We love a fire station. It was a fire station. It was a fire station. The firefighters literally built this gorgeous.

They have beautiful. cherrywood foot, not even carpet, if you can imagine. The floors. The floors. They had beautiful hardwood floors. They built this gorgeous like cocktail, I mean gorgeous at a firehouse, right? Like to be fair. But a beautiful cherrywood bar for cocktail hour. They created a rose garden for the ceremony space. And the couple came to me and it's really about priorities. So they said we have 200 people on our guest list and $20,000. I said, great, you can't be picky and you have to get married where I say you have to get married. And they were like, That's so funny.

So here's what you're going to do. Right. But they were like, reducing the guest count is not an option. And I was like, great. Then you have to trust me and listen to me because you're not doing it at the Plaza Hotel. Like, we're doing it at a fire station in New Jersey. Wait, can I tell you? My ex, his father was the director of events at the Plaza Hotel.

And I was like, can we do it here? And he was like, can you start at a million? And I was like, no. We've done two weddings at the Plaza. They were lovely and amazing and fabulous. But to my point is we've planned weddings at the Plaza Hotel. We've planned weddings at castles in Italy. We've planned 10-person weddings in people's dining rooms,

and we've planned 500-person weddings. When it goes back to how much does a wedding cost, it's like, well, I can show you a $20,000 wedding for 200 people. I could also show you a $1.5 million wedding. And it's everywhere in between. I understand the question. The question is like, how do I make a budget? Yeah, well, that's different.

I can give everyone like a hard answer to at least their biggest question. But like, again, I don't want to back you in a corner. But let's just say we're doing, we're doing a 150 person wedding. Just, you know, let's ask a friend. Hypothetically. Yeah. And it's going to be in a, maybe not New York, but a major city-ish.

And you want it to be fancy and classy. And you want to have your two days. And let's just say roughly for good food, open bar, premium, good DJ, all the things. Like, what are we? This all feels pretty standard. Okay, so we're talking about like not low budget, not high budget, somewhere in the upper middle. And like a nice hotel, whatever. I would say you'd want to, I mean, here's just like a really nice standard because I don't want to give just gray answers.

If we were talking to a client and they gave us those specs, I would say we'd want to allot. Now, don't confuse this with price per head for food. Exactly. Price per head for the overall event. You want to allow about $1,000 a person. So if you have 100 people, $100,000. Okay.

You have 200 people, $200,000. Now that's, again, now this still goes back. Are there venues where we could drop it by $50,000? Sure. But we want to make sure we're working in the realm of reality, right? We're not magicians. So if you ask me for a French chateau vibe in, you know, the middle of somewhere that I've never heard of and you have 200 people on your guest

list in $70,000, like, and when I say this by the, way, I really do like to say, like, $70,000 is a lot of money. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, we don't look at your money and say, that's not a lot or that's, like, it's $20,000 is a lot. If someone walked into my house and said, hey, to redo this bathroom, I need $20,000. I would say, wow, $20,000 is a lot of money, right? So we are not in any way, shape, or form putting anybody down for not having a certain amount, but there's realistic things of what things cost and not. So it has no bearing on us whether you have 20,000, whether you have 75,000 or whether you have 500,000, but it does make a difference in what you get.

I think you just want to set expectations and the things that they're going to have to cut is going to upset people. So like I've been to weddings that I've traveled for and the cocktail had no food. And I'm standing there. And I'm standing there and I've like been through an hour long ceremony and we're going to be standing in this marble lobby with no food and not a lot of alcohol. Clearly, they forego those things, and you're like, but this created a bad experience to everybody. Let me just ask you this, because it's something we would tell our clients.

Wouldn't you rather, instead of having 200 people, so one of my biggest things is staffing. Have you ever been to a wedding where there's one bartender? And there's one bartender? No, I'm sorry, biggest party foul. And that's honestly how you know someone who planned the wedding as an amateur. Yep. Because you need to staff appropriately. You need to think about your guest.

Yes, it's your wedding. and we're going to make the vibe and experience around you, but you are hosting people. And you need to think about their experience. When are they eating? When are they drinking? How far are they walking? Like what's their entire experience from start to finish?

And if you're not being thoughtful about that, you're not throwing a good wedding. Yes. We've done live shows where we've had to ask venues to please staff up more bartenders because we know our whole audience will get drinks. You can think about it. And it's about what matters. And I'm sure some people clutch their chest at hearing a thousand a person.

And of course, we need to reiterate that that meant rehearsal dinner. That's like, you're talking like, yeah, yeah. But it's just like you can decide what matters. You know, I always thought I'd be like, I'm not really going to care that much about the decor and the flowers. And spoiler alert, I do. Right, but you know what you didn't? I want it to be beautiful. Am I allowed to share like one thing that you didn't particularly care about?

Yeah. When we were going over invitations. And I was like, so we should be budgeting like a certain X amount for your guest count. And she was like, absolutely not. And I was like. We haven't even done them yet. No, but when we were talking about it. it. We were, we were just having a conversation. She was like, no, no, no, like, we're not,

we're not going to do that. And I was like, okay, so like, yeah, we'll just, the, no, so we're not going to get, okay, great, we're not going to do that, right? We sort of have them, whatever. We sort of have them, but my point is, it wasn't a priority for her. So let's not, let's not spend money there. Let's reallocate it somewhere else. Like, that's fine. Like, even as planners, we don't force our clients to do things a certain way. we're like if you don't want to spend $5,000 on invitations or $3,000 or $6,000 or whatever it is. And by the way, even invitations.

I mean, the range is out of control. Just do you want letter press? Do you want foil? Do you want, I mean, people have no clue. And it's not, again, that there's a good, a bad, or right and a wrong. There's just a million options. So let me ask you, if somebody's like, all right,

well, fine, I have 70 grand to spend. How can I make my money go the furthest? So, like, what is important to deprioritize? How do I make my money and make the biggest impact? So, and that's probably loaded. Yeah. I mean, I personally think the biggest impact is, again, thinking about the guest experience. So I would rather personally, and this is the advice we give our clients, I'd rather give

100 people the best experience than 200 people a mediocre to bad experience. Oh, less guess. I never thought about that. Well, first of all, do you want to know what people say? How do I save money? Do I use candles instead of flowers? No. Do I send emails instead of invitations?

No. You're not moving the needle enough. The only way. you save significant amount of money is fewer guests. Think about it. If you have 100 person guest lists versus a 200 person guest list, that's literally 100 more plates of food, 100 more people drinking, 100 more chairs,

that's 10 more tables of linens. It's literally double everything, right? So if you're saying I'm double my budget, cut your guest list in half. So I think people's biggest mistake is making a guest list before they make their budget. Oh, I never thought of it. about that. I love that answer. Make your budget first. And by the way, people do come to us and say, we don't have a budget because we don't know what things cost. And I go, nope, nope, nope, we're going to work backwards. Here's what we're going to do. All right, let's play a little game. Ashley,

would you spend $500,000 on a wedding? No. Okay, would you spend $300? No, you don't have to give the real number, by the way. But my point is, but my point is we can play this game all day long. We did this game. We literally played this game. So I was like, would you spend $200? I won't give the answer. Do you 100? You won't to. But like my point is, is like you just keep going until they say this is what I spent. Great. That's our budget. But I also understand just from like a plan, a planning perspective of being like, okay, well, I want to be realistic about what flowers cost. I want to be realistic about a cocktail hour costs. And you go from the other egg on, you say, you tell me what you can afford. And I will go figure out what you can afford to get. Yeah, because we also can,

like, I, I've made some of the most gorgeous tablescapes from stuff from like IKEA, by the way. Do you know what I mean? That you would never, if I showed you a picture, you'd be like, oh my gosh, this must have been so much money. And we're like, no, I'm creative, right? Like, I'm creative. Our team is creative and, like, we can figure things out. But what you don't want to do is send your planner or any of your vendors on wild goose chases.

Don't just say, how much is everything, right? And you're like, well, that's not, it's not a good use of our time. And quite frankly, we'll have to wind up charging you more because, like, we're doing the, you're asking us to then do the work 10 times. Yeah. Right? Like, we want to make sure that we are laser focused in what you can afford. It's one of the things I don't like.

it's a going wedding dress shopping. You're like, my budget's $4,000 for a dress. They put you in a $10,000 dress. Yeah. Like, that's not how we work. A hundred percent. And so I would never, if someone said to me, this is how much money I have, I would never send them to a venue that isn't in that price range.

So I can give one budget tip I think everyone's going to like. Okay. You've given plenty. Okay. Perfect. The guestless thing is you either, and by the way, if your budget isn't working, you need one of two things, a bigger budget or less guess. Okay.

So the number one thing I say to people because they do not know. Okay. So have you ever had a friend? Maybe you. I know plenty of people who've done it. It's called buying a house and your house poor, right? Because you spend every single dime on the deposit, on escrow, on, like, closing on the house and everything. And then you have absolutely no money to furnish your house, right?

So the biggest mistake that people make, we see it all the time, is they spend too much of their money on the venue. Okay. So like what is what? So what do people respond on? So take your number. Figure out a number. What number will not keep you guys up at night? What number will make sure your mortgage is paid, your rent is paid?

Like, figure out a number that you are comfortable spending on your wedding. Okay, that's not. Remember, do that before you make the guest count. Then you want to figure out you take 40% of that total budget. 50 is max. So anywhere between 40 and 50, but don't go over 50%, because then you'll wind up being venue poor. Anywhere between 40 to 50% is what you allocate towards your venue, food, and beverage.

It's your biggest chunk. Like no other vendors should take up that much of the budget. But in that 40%, you need to be reminding yourself that when they say it's X amount per person for food, drink, there's also going to be taxes. There's going to be state tax. There's going to be admin fee. There's going to be gratuity. And at the very max, including all of those fees, it should equal no more than 50% of your

total budget. Because I think some people are listening to, I love that. And I was going to ask you, like, what do people overspend now? There's so many other fenders. I mean, flowers, the dress, the drivers, the music, photo and video. I mean, there's so much other stuff you spend money on. Oh, especially music. So let me tell you something about music.

People who are like listening to this right now, if you want a band, start saving now. Bands are, I mean, and good bands. And good, and good. At least. I don't know. I mean, I'm going to say something that's like highly controversial and might get me in trouble. No, I need to know DJ versus band. No, me?

Hello. DJ. We are a DJ family. I'm a DJ gal. I'm not a band gal. I always say, I want to hear Beyonce saying. Do you want to know why? That's what I want to hear.

I'm sorry, but like, listen, I say this into the, if the five vendors that we work with are listening to this, we love you, you know who you are. The majority of bands, the members are divas, they're demanding, they're not professional. they're not as good as they think they are. Like, if you could see our company group chat on a random Saturday, like talking shit about the bands, like, and how we're just like, they are the bane of our existence.

Like, no, again, to the people that we work with and you know who you are, we love you, and you're amazing. We're not talking to you right now. We're not talking to you right now. But the good ones are expensive. Okay. Yeah, I think there's this wide spectrum

and the ones that are at the top top, which like the band that Lee had for her wedding at the Barnes Foundation in Philly. I mean, the wedding was pricey, was the best band. They were actually the best band. I would love to know what they cost. And then there's just like, it's like this top tier. And then there are people who are good at marketing.

And they do lots of Instagram ads and they have good salespeople. And then they sell people. And like, that's it. So the venue I want to go back to. And we can touch a little bit on how I even chose mine because I have like one tip I feel like of deciding what type of bride you are. But I think wouldn't you say that's a big money issue saving thing? like aside from the guests is like the venue like don't have your heart set on this certain

type of botanical garden or hotel that's where i was going to get married at the funeral garden so i had all of these ideas of like what i wanted to do and i want to and i we do want to ask about the venue in terms of like a raw space you just get your heart set on like just i mean there's like warehouses in brooklyn i thought would have been really fun to have a wedding at versus a hotel versus a turnkey wedding venue they just churn them out all week. So I wanted to do it. I did book the botanical gardens in Pittsburgh, but they were a turnkey. I mean, they host some weddings every weekend. All the time. Yeah. Yeah. So anyways. So we get a lot of these questions a lot when we're on like a consultation with a couple. They're like, okay, if we start

looking for a venue, like how quickly can we, you know, lock it in? I'm like, well, I mean, that's really up to you, right? Like, we start working with our couples within like 72 hours of you, like signing a contract and booking. And then within a week, we have like our first round of things within two weeks. Like we're quick, right? But if you're, depending on how flexible, the client is. So if someone comes to us and says, I have a checklist of 10 things and I will not get married unless every one of these 10 things are checked out, there might be like one venue that like has all 10 things.

Like I can't build a wedding venue from scratch because you want these 10 things. Now, we might find venues that have eight things or six things or do you know what I mean? So it really depends on your level of flexibility. It depends on like where you're willing to, we can gather the importance. You can tell us what you want. We can gather the information, show you the pricing, the options. This is how many things it checks off your list. But you need to be realistic. And that's, I think, a lot of what we try to get across with couples. And timing too, we'll answer it quickly and move on. But how much in advance do I need to play my wedding? You told me, I can play in your wedding in 30 days.

I literally have. But it just depends on the venues. Now some people want these venues. What, they have two, three-year waiting list? So we started talking. I don't even remember. It was this year. Yeah, it was this year. Yeah. So I actually, it was like right after Christmas or New Year's or something like that. I think you had a call with her.

We were still long distance. So I think it was. It was right before the LA fires. I think it was right after the year. I think it was on my like to do list first of the year. And I'm getting married on November 1st. But I got engaged on Labor Day weekend. And so it wasn't immediate.

I took some time and I had a lot of my plate and we did all the our things we did last fall and winter. And so everybody's story is so different. but I think that question is completely unanswerable. Do you want every option in the world? I don't know, two years, one year. Right. But you want something that's really hard to get.

But you can do a wedding in six months, three months? Right. So these like, what if I've been to weddings in the woods where people build everything? Like, what if somebody says I want a raw space versus like a turnkey wedding venue? What are your parents? Farm? Yeah. I mean, yeah.

I mean, and we've done that, right? Like, we have, we literally, literally did a wedding on a farm that had no running water, no electricity, no bathrooms. Literally nothing had you build it from the ground app. And yeah, people, here's the thing. It's expensive. Any time you start, okay. That's the answer. You got money? You got money. Yeah. I mean, you. I mean, we had to bring in generators for the DJ and then a backup generator because in case the first generator goes. We had to bring in generators. I mean, the caterers were working off of, you know, generator. I mean, everyone's working off generators. We spent, we had to charge them a ton of money because we had staff literally filling glass water bottles for like

days at a time. So there was enough water for 250 guests. Like, you know what I mean? So there's a lot that goes into it. But let's just say like backyard, tented wedding. Tents are thousands of dollars. And by the way, we're going to talk about, this is why the budget question is so hard. I could pitch you a $4 folding chair. But if you don't want a folding chair, then you have to spend $15, $20, $40, $50 on a chair. Do you want wood? Do you want covers? Do you want covers? Do you not want covers?

Do you want cushions? Do you not want cushions? Do you want, like, do you want arms? Do you not want, like, by the way, like we will not let you, if you're doing a ceremony in one area and a reception other, like, we are not moving chairs. So if you have 200 guests, do you want to know how many chairs you're renting? 400. Because you need 200 for the ceremony and 200 for the reception because who's lugging 200 chairs

from the garden to the tent? Or if you or let's get extra staff to do that. Or you can spend X, but by the time you do that, you might as well rent the chairs. Do you know what? So like people have these like ideas. Like, well, I'll just get people to do it. And you're like, okay, but also you have to walk through the cocktail hour to get the chairs from the garden to the tent. We are doing my same chairs.

We're flipping the room. You're doing the same room. You're doing the same room. Okay, okay. We're doing the same room. No, she had a mini pan because it's not. That wasn't about you, I promise. You're using the same chairs.

Because we're in the same room. By the way, and they're fabulous. Oh, yeah. They're part of the vibe. I also get on my higher horse. If you want to know the design choice that makes the biggest impact. Yes. It's chairs.

Let me scream it into the microphone. You will have 200 chairs in every ceremony picture and 200 chairs in every reception picture. Your chairs are everywhere. There's more chairs than people. Someone posted a wedding this weekend. And it's not from a planner. It's a personal connection. So it's not no vendor.

I'm not throwing a vendor under the bus. Absolutely gorgeous wedding. Gorgeous background, gorgeous florals. The most heinous chairs. and I literally was like, all I'm staring at is the chairs. Yes. All I'm staring at the chairs and who needs to get fired. But what do they look like?

They were old school like wood, but then they had like red leather seats. But every school. Is it a chillies? It literally looked like. It sounds like church. It looked like the Italian. You know, you go to like the restaurants with like the checkered tablecloths. Yeah, like a red sauce place.

Yeah. And you have like and I was like, I'm horrified. I was like, oh my God. I mean, I was just like no. And by the way, I know. I know the people and I was like, no, this isn't acceptable. They're in all the photos so prominent. You guys did a whole Instagram post about chairs.

You literally wrote, you were like, I never knew I needed chairs so badly. But like once you saw that post, you were like, oh my God. They really matter. They really matter. Because then by the way, if you look at 10 weddings where even the decor was different, it wouldn't look so different if they all had the same chairs. Totally. It's really interesting.

And I will get on my high horse about chairs. every, like, every turn. Every turn. Anything else in terms of budget that you think people don't even think about and you're like, oh, honey? Well, and people ask, do vendors charge more because it's a wedding? Like, let's talk about the wedding tax. Okay.

So my answer to that is no. You pay more if you're hiring a professional. You pay less if you're hiring an amateur. Okay. Long story short, a professional does this full time. Here are the prices. Here are the prices. If that vendor is out of your budget, they're not wrong for,

charging what's out of your budget, they're just not your vendor. And by the way, I'm the first person to say there is a special place in hell for shitty wedding vendors and we work with them all the time, unfortunately, not if we're planning the wedding, but if we're doing like a coordination and like we're kind of stuck working with them because the client found them without us, we literally are like, I have to stick up for my vendors here and go, no, people charge based on their experience, based on their professionalism, based on the product they're giving you, the quality that they're delivering. Nobody's. And if they're professional, professional, all they do is this. So, like, they're not going wedding more. Like, a wedding photographer is not

paying their bills shooting like someone's like first birthday party. Do you know what Amy? Right. Absolutely. And you get what you pay for. A photographer that is featured in Vogue is going to charge you more money. That's just, thousand percent. They have, they have, I'll send it to a certain level and it is what it is. And it doesn't mean you can't find amazing amateur photographers. And we've seen the gamut of everybody. But we generally get what we pay for. I think one thing I realized, and I think this is like a reflection on yourself if you're the bride, is like just think about your personality and what you want. Like, I realized I'm an indoor bride and I want to get married indoors and I don't want to have to worry about the weather or the wind. I mean, we have been to weddings where you cannot hear the vows because it's so windy and the hair is blowing and it can get windy here. And it's less about like it's pouring rain and we have a backup plan and I can live with both, which I think is fine too.

If you're chill enough for that, live your truth. but I think I thought I might get married, just not the reception. I'm an indoor loud music party vibe. I knew I wanted that. But for the ceremony, I was like, maybe I want to be outside palm trees. That's the vibe. And I was like, I am not. I'm indoors.

I want to look the exact same way from when I come down from the bridal suite to when I'm saying my vows. And it was this thing of like the two we were torn between. That was like one of the things that made the final decision. Absolutely. Of just like, I'm an indoor girl. Okay. You know what I'm thinking?

every wedding that I've gone to of people that got married outdoors and I'm like running I've five off the top of my head two of them it was raining two of them it was so windy that you couldn't even even even if it's sunny and hot

you're like and the other one it was a million degrees staring into the sun I've never been to an outdoor wedding that I was like this was a great idea the bride the groom is dripping in sweat you're all wet I want to one that it monsooned the whole day so we had to walk through

a swamp to get to the thing in stiletto heels And it can be gorgeous. And I mean, Matt, my brother. I mean, you are literally preaching to the actual choir. I know. The only one I've ever been to. But my brother.

Lucked out. Yes. He's the only one. They had amazing weather. Well, it was April. In April. Right. But I was sweating in my outfit, but that was, that's irrelevant, what I chose to wear.

But it's just like. We did. All black. Yeah. But I knew what I was doing. But. Great. That was her fault.

She takes accountability. It's just, I'm not, I'm not knocking it. Go ahead and do it. Oh, it's the dream. Well, here's the problem. Here's the problem. The problem is, is if you're a chill bride and you're like, okay, so of course, whenever we're planning a wedding that has an outdoor, anything, there always has to be an indoor backup plan. And, you know, here's the thing. Couples like to yes us to death. Yes. Oh, yeah, we'll do it inside if we have to. We'll do it inside if we have to. Come wedding day, their heads are spinning.

They are crashing out. They are full blown crashing out. I literally have looked at someone in the face and said, what are you going to do if it starts downpouring? They go, they'll get wet. And I literally was like, that's so rude. Like that's so, how do you have 150 guests sitting outside and you don't care if it starts downpour raining on them? Like that's anyway, but you know what? It's not my wedding. You want to go? You know what? You want to walk down the aisle and have people do that?

Let's go. Start cue the music. Let's go. So that's like a planner. We give you advice. We give you suggestions. We even have backup plans. We can't make you listen.

That's so true. Now, if you're a good client and the only reason you should hire a wedding, planner is if you plan on listening to them. Sure. If you plan on knowing at all, do all planners in the world a favor and like just do it yourself. Yeah. Hire an assistant.

Okay. I have a burning question. Okay. Wedding trends. Yeah. Is there anything that you are seeing that you're like, oh God, no, please don't do this? Like, is there anything that's really hot right now? Are there good trends that you like?

Just anything that you're seeing in the trend world. Yeah. So here's the thing. I would say like, I mean, this is just personal preference. reference. Like, I'm not, I mean, not to like dog myself here, but like I'm not a super trendy person. I'm a little bit more classic. I'm a little bit more like when something is becoming trendy, like let's not dive like we can maybe dip a toe in like the disco ball thing. I actually I was going to like while that. I actually kind of I love disco balls. I think it's cool.

But let's not do 7,000 disco balls. Okay. You know, yeah. Maybe let's do a couple. Maybe like a disco ball drinkster or like a disco ball or something. Like let's do like. Let's do like. Like, let's find, like, little ways to incorporate trends instead of, like, making it, like, a theme party. What you're talking about as a theme. Right. Well, people do it. That's a trend. People do it.

What do you think about themes? Did you consider doing a theme? And, like, what would the theme be? I have a theme that guides me. You have an atmosphere. No, I mean a theme's like New York City as a theme. Oh, no, it's not a theme party. No, no.

So creating adjectives and putting a vision together is different than, like, you're coming to a ballroom in Los Angeles and we're going to have like New York City Street games as like your table numbers. Right. The metro card is the table number. Which by the way, people, we have clients who we've done it for. You know what I mean? Like we've done all of it and it's fine. And you know at the end of the day, if you love it, that's all that matters.

Yeah. That is truly all that matters. I don't really care what anything looks like. Even from like, I will say a lot of like luxury wedding planners really make sure that the aesthetic of the couple matches their aesthetic. Like we actually, I don't care. If you love it, I love it. You want me to plan, I don't know, people swinging from the chandeliers, like, we'll plan it.

I wouldn't do that at my wedding. But if you want to do it at first, then let's go. There is one that I really find funny as like they have like the girls with like the skirts. And they have like they're serving like champagne and they're on like stilts. I'm like, I don't know. I don't want anyone on stilts on stilts. I like this. No, I like this.

It's like the great gatsby, blest. Over the top thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a great gaspy party. I mean, and some of that, like I would incorporate some element. that make it feel like a really like a party vibe. Yeah.

And there's so many ways to do that. You know, there's also ways to like, you know, flip the atmosphere. Like it's really calm and cool up until a certain point. And then like, you know, we transition into the big party or whatever it is. I actually would say the biggest trend I'm seeing, which I personally love,

is cocktail style receptions, which is like not a seated dinner. Not a seated dinner. We can say, I'm not doing a seated dinner. Yeah. I want to talk about it. So it's going to be you walk in to the reception. It's party time.

Let's party. There will be food, plenty of it. There will be drinks, plenty of it. There will be staff, plenty of it. You will have a table and a seat to go to. Okay. But you will eat when you want to eat. You will dance when you want to dance.

You will mingle when you want to mingle. And that's how this is going to go. So I think that the old, it's a little more old fashion. I love what you're doing. I'm so excited about it. I think old fashioned, like when I was planning my wedding, my mom was like, you have, there has to be like a flow to this.

this. You must give people an hour to sit down. And I don't enjoy that as much. Well, I think what it is, a lot of people have, think about, like, depending on the age range of the couple, you have, like, wedding fatigue. Like, if you are 35 and you've, for the past 10 years, you've been going to seven weddings a year, you've been to the same, get to the venue, wait for the ceremony. Then you get a glass of champagne after you waited a half an hour, right? Then you get one piece of cheese and a cracker. Like, Do you know what I mean? I mean, I will give new, listen, we plan most of our weddings. New York City, New Jersey, L.A. We do do destination weddings. And all around the country, we've done weddings in Dallas and Florida and Lake Tahoe and whatever. But mainly we're

California, Santa Barbara, Napa Valley to L.A., Malibu, whatever. And New Jersey, New York. I will say, like, New Jersey, if there's one thing about a New Jersey wedding is, their cocktail hours are like, it's like the hunger games. It's like you're in the capital. It's like you are, like, you've never seen. so much food in your entire life. It's hours long. It's the best. It's an hour to an hour and a half long, but it's like when you get like shrimp, it's like from the floor to the ceiling. It's my favorite thing. It's absurd. It's grotesque. It's amazing. You're like it's grotesque. I'm like, that's the best wedding I've ever been to. It's grotesque and it's amazing at the same time. So anyway, like they don't do that in California. Right. So like it, so there are so many different experience.

And actually in the South, like if you go to a wedding in New Orleans, they oftentimes also don't to sit down dinners. So it really very like there's a lot of like regional specific traditions and trends. But I think going back to really quickly like couples, let's say you've been going to weddings for 10 years and you have just you have like wedding fatigue. Like every wedding feels the same. Insert a different like centerpiece. Right. Ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, dance, go home. Right. And I feel like a lot of couples are coming to us and being like how can we make this unique. How can we do this differently? So there, we, we. We've had so many weddings over the past.

I'd say like three years where we haven't even had chairs out for a ceremony. We've had people like gather around like a big staircase and like the couple stands on the staircase and it's a 10 minute long ceremony. And that's how you know it's going to be quick if you're standing. Yeah, exactly. It's going to be quick. But they danced for an hour and a half before the ceremony. I love this.

We did the ceremony in the middle. So the ceremony wasn't first. This is so fun. They walked into the wedding and the band was rip roaring out. This was an amazing band. It was its unbelievable Latin. band like 15 person line band oh my god it there was incredible i mean people were on the dance floor before they got their first drink that's what i wanted to be like yeah it was incredible so this is so

so but this is an experience that you don't get at most weddings so like and you don't have to even follow that formula it's just one right but i think this is what you have to ask yourself like i didn't want this stuffy formal program it can feel really forced we are still going to have some people speak it's not going to be too much i mean there is nothing worse than like an hour of speeches from amateurs who have never held a mic and you're just like, what are we doing? And then you get your courses. And I know this, like, I don't want to offend anybody because it's whatever you want. But like, you just have to ask yourself that's the same thing as the indoor versus outdoor. Like, what do you want it to be? And again, sometimes your parents are paying and

they make the decision. But so that's a total, that's not my story. And I'm, this is exactly how I want it to be. And I was like, I wanted to feel like a party and anything but like that formal structure. And you were so great with, we talked about some things and some things. I was like, that sounds crazy to me. Can you, have you done this? Does it work? And you're like, yeah, and this is how we're going to do it. And Jacqueline, she's like brought in some crazy ideas.

We're going to have some like lounge seating. You're going to die. And so there's like a green velvet couch. You're going to die. And so there's just. Not her telling all of our secrets. No, I just, I like not the normal. I just, I sometimes I'm like really getting into it.

The cocktail around having so much fun. And it's like, okay, it's time to separate everybody now and go to your seat. And you're like, wait, but we're just having fun. I was having a great time. And now I have to sit here and be. served. I mean, I'm going to talk such hard shit with you about weddings I've gone to. I mean, I said through a dinner one. No, let's do it. I've got through a dinner one. First of all, I'll add you to the company group chat because that's, that's the final boss. I sat through a two plus

hour dinner at a wedding and they just kept clearing and serving and I think it was really important to her to like have great food and the food was great, but I was like, can we get up? And now we're supposed to dance after all that? I went home. I need a nap. I went home. I did go home. I had to go somewhere the next day. I was done with this night. I mean, believe it or not, like we have couples that come to us and they're like, hey, so like my family, like, they're not big dancers, we're not big dancers. So we do want the experience to be like a three hour long dinner. And we're like, okay. Like so and then there are people who are like, we want this to feel like a parte. And like it's, you know, and it's great. But see, that's why we love our job is what we do

and why the experience has to be so personal and so catered. And it's one of the reasons why pricing can't be the same for everyone because everybody wants different things. Everybody like request different things. And some things take longer to plan or shorter to plan or it's more difficult to plan or there's more details to plan. And so there's no black and white cut and dry answer to anything. But I will say circling back to if you're good at communicating with your planner or your partner if you're not planning on using a planner, which is also fine. You know, my analogy for that is like, listen, you don't have to use a wedding planner. The worldwide web exists. You can Google people, right? And find vendors. Number one, you're going to be shooting

in the dark looking for like a needle in a haystack. Or if you work with a wedding planner, we can, you tell us what you want and like we are laser focused and find that vendor. But the other thing is, I always say I'm like, listen, I cook my own dinner a lot and it never tastes as good as when a chef cooks it. Do you know what I mean? Like whenever I cook dinner, I'm always like, oh, you know what I'm going to do next time. I'm going to add a little bit of this or I'm going to take a little bit of that. Like, you don't get that chance in like wedding planning. I mean, you could do anything you want and it's on a very small scale. But like I planned a three day festival for my birthday. Which I saw and was incredible and looked insanely fun. I was stalking.

her and Taylor's. I wish you would have been involved because, listen, I enjoyed it and I love that kind of stuff. I'm very organized. I'm very professional. And Ashley and I've been planning live shows for so many years. I'm good at it. But I enjoyed it a little less because I was in charge of everything. And I had to like do all the planning. Totally. I had to make sure I was the point person for when am I showing up. It was a lot on me. And I loved it. It was the best weekend of my life. But I could have enjoyed it 20% more by spending a little more. more on a quarter to the weekend. Okay, so let's wrap up with a little tea.

Yeah. Okay. So what do you see the biggest conflicts that arise in the wedding planning process, not like vendors, like more like with the, is it families, is it couples, you know, budget, obviously, but what do you see? Yeah, I mean, biggest conflicts are always like always the family. Uh-huh. It's always the family.

So if you think about it, when we're doing consultations, we're typically meeting with the couple. Who we're not meeting with are their families. So we have had times where we've worked with a couple for two years, a year and a half, a year, and the couple's amazing. And we show up like wedding weekend and their parents are monsters. Like absolute monsters. Are they the ones who created the budget?

Some, yes, some no. That's not why I'm asking you. I'm just asking, like, should people, if you're like, my mom's paying for this whole thing and she's all these, then include her in the meetings rather than putting you into position. Yeah. So we've also, we've even had scenarios where like partners, whether it's someone's fiance, like, hey, I don't really want to be a part of wedding planning. I'll let this partner be, like work with the planner and come up with the decisions. And then on wedding, they'd be like, why is this happening? You'd be like, well, you weren't part of this. So like you now, like you've lost

the right to have an opinion. Now you just do have to do like what we kind of tell you to do. Which, of course, we have ways around it. We now make sure at least the partner or the fiance, say even if they're not part of planning, we make sure that they fully understand the execution, the plan, like where our team's going to be, where other vendors are going to be. But I'd say conflicts are really big. I mean, the T is we see a lot with divorced families, especially if like a dad's bringing like a new chickadee around. Like that is always hard to manage.

And like we become therapists. So I was wondering, are you like the therapist in this situation? 100%. And what do you say? But you know, we try to keep, what we try to do is. is really make sure we focus on the couple. We're like, this is about you. We're going to remove these people from your orbit, right?

We're going to bring them into this room or, you know, we try to like give our couple, like, a safe space. They'll be around you for three pictures and then we can, you know, shove them back off in the crowd again or like whatever it is. So we try to just stay really positive. We try to, we try to understand family dynamic. I mean, part of the planning is tell us about your family dynamics. Like, you know, our Uncle Joe and Aunt Susie going through a nasty divorce.

Like, are they, are we going to have like, candlesticks flying across the table, which has happened. Yeah. I've had mothers of the brides, like crying in the bridal suits with me because they're watching their ex-husband with like their, you know, secretary, you know, and I'm like, so like, yeah, I mean, we've seen it all. We've seen nasty fiancés with each other. We've seen parents. We've seen just, just people who are like irrational, I would say. I feel like weddings either bring out the best or the worst in people. I'm curious, you've seen it all. Yeah. But everybody wants to know. if you feel like there are signs along the way that they are not going to make it,

whether it's in the planning process or even on the wedding day. All you have to do, first of all, if you want to know if you're marrying or a person, just ask your wedding planner. No, I'm sorry. I mean, I'm dead serious. Like, I actually dream about starting like a relation, like I wish I was a therapist because I could easily be like a relationship like therapist. Listen, put us in, coach.

You just send them to us. The three of us can do it together. Like, I have a thousand percent. Like, even like a relationship podcast, I would foam at the mess. mouth to like to just focus on that like yeah tell us all the towels okay so I will say this the hardest part is when you see one person who's clearly has the power and the other person shrinks and that's heartbreaking right you're watching and there have been times where we've wanted to like shake and be like please don't marry this person obviously obviously we've never done that there have been times we've

certainly wanted to um so hard yeah it's It's hard when you see people just not being treated nicely. You know, because again, we spend a lot of time with these people. So we see when their mask kind of falls. We see when they're stressed out, whether it's about money or whether it's about family or whatever. Like we really get to see. You have a front row seat too. How do you guys make decisions as a couple and handle conflict?

What's more important than that? No. How they communicate with each other, how they handle just differing of opinions, of differing of how they prioritize their family members. And, you know, are they align? religiously? Are they aligned politically? Are they aligned financially? I mean, we get an insight to literally everything. After 14 and a half years, we've had more people break up before the wedding than we have divorces. I was going to ask if you've had people break up in the process.

Definitely. Okay. We've had last year, last year alone there were like six. Are you serious? Yeah. And like far along? Not all, but some. And did you see it coming? Have you? been blindsided? There was one that kind of blindsided us. I'd say five out of the six, we were like, yeah, like God bless. What were the tells to you? They kind of just seemed like they didn't like each other. Right. I mean, it's pretty obvious. Like if you sat down next to them at a bar and you were like listening to their data, you'd be like, why are these two people like next to each other? I mean, sometimes people tell us they're getting engaged and we're like, why? Right. Like they just aren't, it's just not. Compatibility. And they're just not nice to each other and they don't have fun.

and they just kind of like are miserable, right? And so like we like five out of the six, I would say we could see ish coming. But the one was like, whoa. But if someone asked you, should I marry this person, would you just tell them honestly? Well, do you want to know what I said, what I would say? Yeah.

I would say, first of all, never, this is my rule in life. Never ask a question you don't want the real answer to. So do you want this to be honest or do you want me to like, tell you what you want to hear. And also you're asking. You're asking. You're asking. So to be really honest, if someone, if a bride or a partner or a fiance came to me and said,

should I marry this person in your opinion, I wouldn't say you should or shouldn't marry them. I would say, here is what I've observed and use that how you'd like. Which I think you and I would probably give that same advice too. Like, how do you feel about the way the person speaks to you? Right. How do you feel about the way it comes off as a little controlling? Do you feel controlled? Absolutely.

Things like that. So I never, even when it comes to planning, we don't tell people what to do. We can tell you what we're observing or we can tell you what we think is off or what isn't right. But yeah, I'm not going to tell you not to marry them. But I would point it out, I would be honest to an extent. I would be honest. Yeah.

There used to, what it used to be like if they smash the cake in each other's face, they're not going to make it. Did you ever see that? If somebody did that to me. Do you see this? If someone did that to me... When I spent on this makeup... First of all, we'd be divorced before we got married.

I saw a groom that sprayed his fiance or his wife with champagne. No, there's absolutely no way. You don't know me at all if you've done that to me. If you do that, you have never met me before. I'm wet and I'm sticky now? No, there is just... To be honest, and actually in all my years, I don't know if I've ever seen... People aren't doing that anymore.

Maybe I've seen, like, someone take, like, on their finger and, like, put it on their nose and, like, they kiss it all. I mean, whatever. I mean, maybe I've seen that. But I've never seen, I don't think I've ever seen like a smash. A full cake smash. No, I've never seen a full cake. Thank God.

I think I would be just, I think I would be horrible. I'll never be that chill. Have you know? Have you ever had a couple, like really have a conflict at the wedding? Yeah. Just give us one story. Well, a bride smoked, she was really drunk and she went outside to smoke a cigarette. The groom lost his.

For smoking? Yeah. He was like, you taste like cigarettes now. And he was like, you know I hate it. it when you do this so you couldn't stop like on our wedding night. You can't let me do what I want to do? It was like a full blown like fight at the bar. Like they didn't like go in like the bridal suite.

And she was like, it's my wedding too. Yeah. I'm having fun with my friend. I'm on her side. And it was like I mean, yeah, I'm not even saying whose side amount. I'm just saying this is what happened. Like so yes, we've had couples fight. Well, so that you brought up drinking and I swear we could talk to you for literal hours,

but like drunk brides and grooms. Yeah. So drunk is actually a little easier to deal with than. I mean, I would say more popularly now is people are super into drugs, like at weddings, like mushrooms, Molly. Yeah. I mean, we've seen literal like cocaine out on like tables at like weddings. And we're just like, what, like this is like not.

But do you like, A, do you see a lot of drunk brides? And B, do you advise like here's how to kind of manage? I think over the years we probably have had 10 really drunk brides. Okay. I would say that's, I would say typically the couples are so busy mingling that like they're not, like, yes, we have a drink in their hand, but they're not actually like finishing their drink and like being like 10 drinks deep. Yeah.

They're kind of like, you know, you're hugging everyone. You're talking to everyone. You're, you're busy. You're taking pictures. You're this, you're that. So I would say even if people drink, they don't necessarily get drunk. I would say like the bridal parties are the ones where like they get really wild because they start drinking at 10 in the morning.

Yeah. Or even them like with like pills. or like whatever it is they were doing. Like we've seen people trip out. We've seen, I had a bridesmaid once. She was like, let's say there were eight bridesmaids. She was like number six. Now we had done a rehearsal, first of all.

So she also knew exactly where to go. But also if you didn't, you will just watch like people in front of you walk down an aisle and go stand similar. It's not rocket science, right? She literally walked halfway down the aisle, like just stops, turns around, looks at me, and screams, where do I go? What? And I was like, wait, what? Was she wasted? There's people behind her and in front of her.

Apparently she had taken like Xanax, but she was drinking and she was just like not. And we were just like, we're like, follow the other. Go stand with your friends. Like there are other girls wearing the same dresses. Yeah. 10 feet away. Like it's not. You can see the light.

You can literally, you're almost at the end of the tunnel. You're so close. But you're in a line. There's people behind you and in front of you. There's so many places. the look. She just, it got like blurry. She's like, where am I?

And there's just this like beautiful, like live, like violin flag. And she's just screaming. Like, where do I go now? The drinking thing, I see drunk grooms. We've all seen them. Which I, by the way, hate. Hate. I think it's completely disrespectful.

If you get up there to the altar and you have a hint that you are slurring, you could have had a beer or two, whatever. Right, a beer or two, fine. Like, if you've been drinking with the boys all day and you are not your full, alert, coherent self enough to drive. You are not sober enough to marry me. We're doing a breathalyzer.

Raina, you better breathelize him when we get up there. We're going to bring one up there. I'm going to need a Xanax. Raina, now you have to walk down halfway the aisle and go. Where do I go? Where do I go? Do you know what I mean? Like, I think it's disrespectful personally.

I think it's rude. I think it's disrespectful. To families, to friends. You've asked people to try. travel to get dressed up, to come celebrate you, and you, what, get being drunk was more important to you? Like, that is just red flag city. I'm with you. And listen, I think people should have fun, however, they want to have fun. Personally, for me, one of the first questions I asked her was, do you plan on drinking that day? You're spending so much money. Don't you even remember this?

Isn't this supposed to be the most important day? If the two of you want to black out, like 10 p.m. Great. Let's do it. Like, I will be the first ones. Like, they're supporting you. I knew you the shots. But like we've got to get through the respectful stuff. Yeah. Okay. We again could talk to you forever.

We'll have you back. Listen. We're going to go drink. I have so much shit to talk with you. We could definitely do five more episodes. 100%. Well, she'll spill the tea on my wedding. Perfect.

You'll come back in November. We'll do a post wedding episode. We'll talk about how I did. We'll focus on me mostly. Let's do it. My trauma at the wedding. Okay. So I'm sure everyone's like, what's a planner cost?

And that's, again, not a black and white answer. or use your t-shirt example applies here, but if we want to give them an idea. Yeah. So I think it's important. Again, let's go back to there's going to be planners that have less experience. There are going to be planners that are newer at it. So they're going to charge less.

Can you get a wedding planner for $5,000 to do a certain number of services? Sure. Can you get a planner for $25,000? Absolutely. Can you get a planner for $300,000? Absolutely. And everything in between. I mean, if I told you some of the minimums that people have, you would actually fall out of your armchair.

But it's like... The minimums? Like, $500 or something? No, for, no, I mean, like, for a wedding planner, like, they would say, like, your budget has to be a minimum of $1.2 million. And my cut is 20% of that, right? Right. Okay. Yeah.

I know. So... It sounds New York City shit. Yeah. Or L.A. Right down the street are, like, three planners that I know right down the street that have that, too. forgot about Beverly Hills. Yes, but I would say here's the, I'll give you the same answer that I gave about the venue. You create your budget. What are you willing to spend 40 to 50%? No more than 50%

should be spent on your venue. A wedding planner should eat up anywhere from 10 to 20% of your wedding budget. Doesn't matter. Now, we don't change our fees based on your budget, but that's how much you should be allocating based on your budget. So if you start looking for a planner, there's your age. And then for some venues, for example, I am thinking about where my brother got married. It was a wedding venue. I think probably the coordinator, like the day of was like wrapped into the cost. Is that typically true? Not always. First of all, not every venue has a coordinator. By the way, coordinators and planners have completely different jobs. Right. A coordinator often has never spoken to any of your vendors prior to the wedding day. If a vendor doesn't show up, like they're not

trying to like find you another vendor they're not problem solving if if you're getting ready at a hotel or a home or an apartment like they're not with you like they they live at the venue and they their job is mainly to manage their staff they're making sure their staff is showing up their kitchen is running their bars are stocked like their furniture is out whatever it is that they are responsible for the coordinators are more responsible for their stuff but they're not managing mom and bridal party and all sorts of things. And the truth is, a good wedding planner and a good coordinator. Like, we need coordinators.

Like, we need venue coordinators and we work beautifully with them. And vice versa. We have wedding venues that have amazing coordinators that are like, you need a planner. Because we don't do the things the planners do and the planners don't do the things that we do. So it's like when you have a planner and a coordinator that understand their roles properly, it is the best support any couple could have. Okay. got it. I love that. I'm obsessed with you. I know. I want to get married. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. Well, thanks for coming on and thank you for everything. I love to work with you so much and just, you know, being friends too. We're going to go have drinks with Taylor. Absolutely. Remind people where they can find you and your company. And I think you're going to have enough work for the rest of your life now. I hope so. So you can find us on Instagram. We are at.

the wedding plan and company. Online, we're the wedding plan and company.com. It's pretty straightforward. So either our website, our Instagram, are probably the two easiest places to find us. Yeah, and we'll link it in the show notes for you guys, of course, as well. And you can find us at at Girls Gotta Eat.com, Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess. Raina is Raina.org. Subscribe on YouTube. Share this episode with a friend. Seek Jacqueline out when you and her company, of course. We plan weddings all over the country and all over Europe and Mexico and you name it. So reach out.

Good luck out there, guys. I'm so excited for the wedding. We'll see the live stream for actually's wedding. Oh my gosh. Not us live streaming the wedding.