Girls Gotta Eat - What is Human Design and How Can It Guide Your Life? with Erin Claire Jones

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

Do you know your Human Design? Knowing and understanding your unique makeup can help you live your most authentic and successful life, and we're joined by Erin Claire Jones, author and leading expert in Human Design, to explain. Erin educates us on what Human Design is, how to figure out your design, and how it influences and guides our lives. We go over the 5 types of people and discuss how each of these types move through the world. We then discuss the types of decision makers and how they make life and career decisions, navigate friendships, date, and choose romantic partners. And we call out which types of people are most likely to ghost, love bomb, people please, and more. Before Erin joins us, we have some show announcements (!!!) and we break down a frantic DM from a listener who accidentally sent a text about a guy finishing too quickly TO HIM instead of her friend. Enjoy! Follow Erin on Instagram @erinclairejones and @humandesignblueprint, and read her book How Do You Choose? Discover your human design at humandesignblueprint.com and get a discount with code GGE. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Cakes Body: Get 20% off your first order at http://cakesbody.com with code GGE. Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at https://rocketmoney.com/gge. Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at http://article.com/gge. Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order at https://quince.com/GGE. Boulevard: Get 10% off your first year subscription when you book a demo at http://joinblvd.com/gge. Simply Pop: Go to https://cokeurl.com/simplypop to find out where you can try Simply Pop. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I think that so often we try to emulate what others are doing because it's worked for them and then are confused why it doesn't work for us. And it's just like, we're just different. This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi guys. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back.

It's Rain's birthday. As we record. I can't get enough attention for the birthday. I'm just saying if you're watching. Yeah, it looks beautiful. We're still in our balloon era. I'm actually, we just leave these here until they get to plate to the floor. No, they're coming to your house.

Okay. Well, I'm really leaving them in my house. They'll be the only color at my house. They need as much attention. We still have a whole influencer photo shoot to do at your house. We're getting our money's worth. I'm getting my money. We do you guys.

You might take photos to me with it. This is actually a collab post. I'm going to do another post about my birthday. People are going to be like, can you stop? No, no, no. It is going to be like, it's been diminishing returns. I posted a bikini photo of me today looking so hot and forwarding in a bikini. No one cares.

Yes, they do. People have tapped out. No, no, no. I still have way more that I'm posting. Is that okay? What? About your birthday? We got a lot of good photos. Yeah.

Okay. I feel that the bikini photo didn't get the attention to needs. Maybe I'll buy likes for it. You guys, please go like Raines Bikini photo. I worked hard to look like that. I know. Just wished really hard. Anyways.

You manifested? Yeah, manifest on it. All right. Well, we'll thank some of our partners. Then we'll get right into it. Thanks to Cake's Body. Get 20% off your first order at Cake'sbody.com with code Gior. and Rocket Money.

Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at rocket money. com slash GGE and article. Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.com slash gg.

And thank you to Quince. I'm wearing quince. We'll talk about it. Get free shipping and 365 day returns on your next order at quince.com slash GGE

and Boulevard. Get 10% off your first year subscription when you book a demo at join BLVD.com slash GGE and Simply Pop go to Coke.

URL.com slash Simply Pop to find out where you can try Simply Pop. So we have such a great episode today. I feel like it would be really life-changing for you guys with Erin Claire Jones and it's about human design and her book is out. We encourage you guys to at the very least find out a little bit about your human design while you're listening. But we'll get into it. It's really fun, different topic. I'm really so great. Yeah, this is really different and a fun episode. So we hope you guys enjoy, but we have a few announcements. A lot of show announcements. Okay. Shows. We're going to be doing shows. Do you want to start? Do you want to do us or you or the other one? Why don't you start with yours?

All right, fine. Guys, I'm going to cry. I am going to end my tour, the Sex Before Marriage tour that I've been on for the last few months at the Wilbur in Boston. Yay! I feel really emotional. Not like we haven't played the Wilbur seven times. It's just my favorite theater in the country in the world. It's one of our favorite theaters.

and Boston means the world to me, to us, and that is where I'm going to conclude the tour. Not that I'm never going to tour again, but it is the sex before marriage tour. It has to end before I get married. So we had to get it in. I have been like trying to get this date. Stay tuned for the BJ's after marriage tour.

Exactly, the sex after marriage tour. No sex after marriage. And the Wilbur, it's extra special because it is where I met my fiancé. Like in the theater. In the theater. Literally in the theater. In 2021. and then we got together a year and a half later,

but that is technically the first place that I ever met him, laid eyes on him, spoke to him, and he's been there with us before. You know, he was at our holiday shows, and it just means so much to me. It's the most important theater of my relationship. And so to end the tour there, and like the Boston girlies have been in my comments

since I announced the tour. And I just knew that I was going to do something there and it was going to be special. And I promise, I promise, that I'm doing something in Philly. I'm really trying to work this out. It's not easy to figure out where I'm going to be

and when I can do it with other dates, with the wedding, with a taping, like all the stuff. So I promise because like the Philly girls are like, what are you talking about, Boston and not Philly? Don't worry,

just please, trust me. But the Wilbur show is going to be on sale this week. So I'm announcing it today. Wednesday, the 25th, it will go on pre-sale at 12 p.m. Eastern Time.

So you can go to my website, which is ash has. dot com link is in my bio and instagram or the wilbur wherever but you're going to see a code to enter for pre-sale and it's a zool obviously a z you well try rhino if you if you want maybe it'll work the pre-sale code is azool and you just put that in it's not case sensitive and you can get access to those and then tickets will be on sale sale this friday the 27th 12 p.m. Eastern time is your fiance going to go to this? Yeah I'm going to go. Yeah I mean it's just It's so important.

Like I get really emotional thinking about it to set foot on that stage. See that dog. The dog is there. Yeah, they have a dog that's at the theater. Hopefully, Ducky will be there. And really just wrap it up at like the place where I met my fiance like the last show I'll do probably before I get married. And like the conclusion of the tour. And so this tour has met everything to me.

I have shows this weekend. If you guys are listening when the episode drops in Portland, Oregon, which I'm so excited about. And then I'll be in D.C. for my birthday weekend, July 11th and 12th. All those tickets are going fast. They may be sold out by now. And then a bunch of other dates. Again, Ash Hess.com.

And Philly, just trust me, it's coming soon. And end it in Boston. Yay. I'm so excited. So, anyway. I'll see you guys there. I already invited somebody this morning. Okay.

I think I know who. Okay. And it's a Sunday night. It wasn't Ryan. Okay. Who was like Ryan's going to film it? obviously. No, I invited to Figgins and Blake. Oh, you did? Okay, amazing. Oh, that's important. They've been with us with the Wilbur. So see you guys there. Okay. Well, I'm really excited.

And then. So prior to that, we will be in, we had just a few weeks before that. We're going to be in Florida. We're going to be in the Panhandle bitches for Lady World in Miramar Beach. It's beautiful. September 26th, 27th, and 28th, the women of Lady Gang, who we just absolutely love. They've been on our show. We've been on their show. are throwing a festival, and we are so impressed by what they put together. And we actually saw it get announced, and we were like, this looks incredible. And we ran into them at South by Southwest. And they're like, you guys have to do the festival. And we were like, we would love to do it.

So it is a three-day weekend of some of the best stacked lineup. Hannah Burner, our friend will be there. Stacey Schroeder, Caitlin Bristow, Rachel Lindsay. They really have just packed this. Chicks in the office. We love them and more. It's just a stacked lineup. And the music.

It's such a throwback vibe. So Chris, Kirkpatrick of InSink, O-Town, Ryan Cabrera, Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray, BB Mac, LFO. Catch me on the beach, rocking out to summer girls. It's such a throwback vibes. I'm so excited. And then the main, of course. So Jack Vanek, who is in Lady Gang, her husband is in the band, the main. And so we're just so excited.

I mean, I have spent a lot of time in the Panhandle. We used to go there for like an adult spring break when I lived in Atlanta. and don't remember any of it. So I'm excited for memories that I'll remember in the Florida Panhandle. And our show will be on Friday night. So we're just going to put on a fun, wild show. We've done, like, one other beach festival show, and it was insane. We saw someone's butthole.

We just love the vibe. No buttholes at Lady World. Well, there was a man's butthole, which no one wants to see. So you guys can get tickets and come to this festival. I mean, it's going to be incredible. Yes, ladyworld.com, tell all your girlfriend, just do a girl's trip. bring your man, I guess, if you want to, but it's Ladyworld. Bring your friends.

Yes, Ladyworld.com. And there's going to be like Pilates and Soundbaths and like all kinds of activities. It truly is like a bad sound bath. Just laying on the beach. There's nothing I love more than that sounds like a corpse. Like a corpse. Just lay here. I think we're going to bring some vibes stuff down with us and sell some stuff at the events.

We will do a little vibes only pop-up situation. But yeah, I can't think of a better girl's trip than this. And guys, we are working on some girls got eight shows. Yes. So stay tuned. We could never not do holiday shows. You guys know that we couldn't. stay away from the holiday shows.

So stay too. I mean, probably in the next, you know, month or so we're going to announce. Yeah, soon. We'll announce them. Just a few.

Plan to be at some shows. Yes. So we'll see you guys at Lady World. Then we'll see you in Boston. And then we'll see you with the good holiday shows. Do them all. Do them all. Do them all.

Got to catch them all. Okay. So we just had a funny DM we wanted to talk about. I think this will speak to a lot of people. Yeah. This girl DM me. She said, I fucked up.

Help me. please. I went to text my friend. He came in 30 seconds. I went to text my friend. He came in 30 seconds and sent it to the boy that came in 30 seconds on accident. Please help. I edited the message really quick, but he clearly saw it because he responded with like a cry laughing. Also, if you read your messages on a computer like I do, you can see both. Yeah. And if your phone's in your hand, like everybody, your phone's always on you. And I want to see him again, but how can I after that? Oh my God. I just saw this. I said,

girl, three skull emojis. Have you said anything since? I mean, honestly, it happens to the best of them. This happens all the time. I mean,

for so many different reasons, nerves, it happens. I don't think it's like the worst insult either. I think the guys are like, I don't know, what do you want for me?

Right. Like, I actually, I'm not a male apologist, but like, it's probably pretty easy to come. Most men are like a sure thing. It's probably harder to like

make it last longer. So like, I'm just like, sometimes I'm like begging for it. I'm talking dirty and I look so good. I'm like, I know what they want to come. Like, how do they not come? Yeah. How do men not come quick? Yeah.

I mean, and it just, it like varies. I don't know. Like, yes, you could be with somebody that's going to come in 30 seconds every time and that's a bummer. And there's different things you can do to prolong it and you can look into it. Condoms. Absolutely condoms. But it's just like that would be annoying.

you better really eat some good pussy, if that's the case, and work on your foreplay game. So he was a good sport about it. He wrote, I gotta leave some room for improvement. Like he right away responded with like tear, like laughing emoji, like tear streaming down the face. And she said, I tried changing the subject. And then she said, you should think of it as a compliment.

And she said he kept coming back. He's like, my compliments to the chef. And he was just like, you know, well, let's try it again. They're talking about getting together. again and she was like, I'll make it worth it. And he said, 30 second man coming through with a vengeance. She wrote, well, make it 45 seconds this time. And he said, I love that optimism. I'm loving this. I'm loving this. I think that it's not the biggest insult. I think it's fine if you come quick some of the time. Yeah. It's just going to happen. Like, he was really turned on. Whatever. It's not the, you don't call

he's Dick Small. Thank you. Right. Like, you can come back from this. And I wrote it back. I was like, you're totally good. I really like his sense. humor about it. And also I'm like, now you've got to keep me updated. And so she sent me to me and she said, just to wrap it up, I saw him again last night. And after multiple rounds of testing can confirm he must have just been nervous the first time because he lasted a normal amount of time. And it was spectacular. Spectacular. What a horrendous dating hack I found. Thanks for being my sounding board. We all have had this situation. And it is a compliment. Especially if it's, he was really into you, really attracted to you. I just, I, I hate, I hate to feel bad for men. But I feel bad. But I feel

bad for men when it's just like they come and the experience is over like sometimes i come really quick sometimes i come in like two minutes like what if the experience was over and guys were just texting girls like well guys would love to text their friends she came in 30 seconds yeah right right right they would tell all their friends well we talked about this with matthew brousard about missy elliott kind of starting the whole like one minute man kind of thing and i don't know there's like so much more to sex than penetration you know like there's times in the bedroom with my fiancee where whatever we've done, I have come. And then we have sex so he can come.

And I'm like 30 seconds tops. Let's get it done with. I'm done here. I come pretty quick. If you're good at going down on me, which I don't really enjoy. But if you're good at it or if I'm on top, I'm done in two minutes. Exactly. So we just want to say this is never, of course you can tell your girlfriends, whatever

you want to tell them, you know, but never think that this is a death sentence. Also, this is a great way to give feedback. Oops. I also think it's a good sign that he had a good sense of humor about it. He could have reacted a bunch of different ways. He could have gotten defensive. He could have gotten mad. He could have gotten just weird.

Like, to immediately have a sense of humor about it, like I'm going to be keeping tabs on them. Oh, I really root for this comedy. Yes, I'm really rooting for them. And anybody that act, listen, I think that you're criticizing somebody's sexual performance and it would be totally normal to get a little bit not cool about it. If somebody sent that text message about me to their friend, I would be like, the fuck. No, but Raina, you're so right.

If someone said that about a girl. Totally different time. She came in 30 seconds. I'm like, fuck yeah, I did. Fuck yeah. You had a magic tongue. You found a unicorn too. You're welcome.

Yeah. I was sleeping with this guy who liked to edge and he just like no coming, no coming. And then one time, very upset about this. we had sex and I thought he came and he like went through the condom boy and then we had sex a second time and he like really came like so hard and I said something like it sounded like you came a lot harder

the second time like really there was like a real performance the second time and he was like I faked it the first time and I was like what are you saying to me and he was like I like to like edge and you were trying to like wrap this up so I just faked it no I was so upset that I believed it, that I didn't see through it. A man faking and orgasm, ick.

Who were we talking about this with? Were you there about men faking orgasms? I don't know, but it's looking back, like, first of all, his real come sound was a little too, it was a lot. Yeah. But, like, thinking about a man faking orgasm is so. Were you, were we just talking about this with somebody? Who would I have been with without you talking about this?

Nobody. It was a guy, and I was asking, and he said he had done it a couple times. Oh, I was with. you. I don't remember this was. Just to end the experience. Harry Jousy? Yes. So coming soon. Wasn't it with him? Coming soon? Coming soon. I mean, women do that just to end the experience. Did we talk about with Harry? I think that's who it was. I really can't remember. And if we did, then it's on our episode. We did his show. He did ours. I mean, who's really to say. I'm so horny the whole time. It's your birthday. We got a dinner to go to your night. But recently we were talking to a guy. Maybe it's him. Maybe you guys will see in a couple weeks. Maybe you all. And they were just like a couple times.

just to end the experience, which is why women do it. We're all the same. He just really, this guy really likes to edge. I don't think I could be with somebody that likes that. Also, if you don't want to know what edging is, I don't know that's the most common term. It's just basically like bringing yourself to the point of orgasm almost and then dialing it back. I like to do that when I'm smoking weed.

That's the only time I can like really do it and like prolong. Like I can master it for like a really long time. But like during sex I can't, I don't know if I'm about the orgasm, I'm having an orgasm. It's like I can't muffle the sneeze. don't want to miss it. Yeah, I don't want to miss it. Because you will miss it. I just feel like women, it's just this, like, you're on the brink and it can pass you by. Except for when I'm high. When I tell you, I'm on the brink for like 20 minutes? Yeah. But have you ever taken like a sleeping, like a gummy, like a stuff, whatever? And you stay awake through it? And you pass through it.

And then you're like so fucked up. And I did that on the, I took a red eye out to the Hamptons. And I just, I never really got to sleep. And I'd had like two glasses of wine in the lounge and then took a gummy and I just never went to sleep. I just felt so fucked up about it. Like, this is not the best example, but I feel like that's when you miss your orgasm. You're like, I went, it's gone. I went through it. There's no going back. I can't edge when I'm sober. That's crazy. Well, speaking of coming, we do have some amazing new sex toys if you guys haven't checked them out that you can edge yourself with or come right away. Honestly, whatever you feel like doing. And the Casey is truly so incredible with this brand new vibrator. She comes in her own case, her own charging case with the USBC.

That's probably the charge you have for your phone or your computer. so it's super easy to bring with you and she charges in the case. And one end is like a thumping vibration, which is brand new for us. We don't have a toy that does this. It feels so incredible. And the other end is your standard vibrator. So it's dual ended, a beautiful butter yellow. People are talking about this color.

Like you don't see this a lot with sex toys. No, but it is the color of summer. Yeah. It is so easy to hold. It's a great partner toy because it's like the perfect length to use on somebody else. And it's dual ended. So you have both different types of vibrations. And like you said, it looks like a sunglass case.

Yeah, it really does. It's so discreet. So you can just take it anywhere, throw it in your bag. And again, your vibe is never going to die on you because it's going to be charging in that case. But we are just so obsessed with this toy and so proud of it. And you guys can shop the casing out. And then we have the suck and blow gel, which is our oral enhancer. We put out a cocktail kit. You get out. You get out of cocktail kit. You get three mini bottles. No alcohol in them. So sorry. So we're friendly. Margarita, pinocalada and watermelon spritz. Those are going fast. So get them. Those are obviously going to be just limited time for the summer. So grab the suck. the suck and blow gel summer cocktail kit. And then we put out our kinklings, which are our silicone, squishy, stretchy, one size fits most handcuffs in this beautiful baby blue. Okay, I had this very funny situation with them because I was like, I brought them to the Hamptons with me. And they were in my hand for some reason,

and then the woman who was doing like face glitter came to the door. Oh my God. And so they were in my hand, and I like brought her into the house and I showed her where to set up and the tablecloth. And like the whole and then I went back upstairs and I realized the entire time I had powder blue hands.

handcuffs in my hand. Oh, my God. But they're like kind of inconspicuous. Oh, yeah. You know, so, I mean, they're clearly handcuffs, but they're just like, you know, they're a light entree into BDSM. And they're one of our bestsellers. People love them.

This is my favorite color that we've done. Yeah. Anyways, you guys should shop those at vibes only. com. Enjoy your orgasms. We are happy to give them to you. Okay. And we're just going to talk about our other partners and we will get into it with Aaron.

I am telling you guys about Boulevard. This is going to be great if you are in the self-care business or you offer any sort of high-end personal experience. So if you have any sort of spa or salon, med spa or any other personal care company, this is going to be such a great thing to help your business. I was at my favorite massage place last night, Den Mother on Abit Kinney, and I noticed they used Boulevard. Really? And just the whole experience of like booking and checking out and everything with them. I've always loved it. I noticed it last night. I love that. I love that. I'm like, where's my favorite place? That's your spot. I'm obsessed with you. I know. You're always there. If I can't get hold of you, you're a dead mother.

So Boulevard is the number one client experience platform built specifically for appointment-based self-care businesses because salon, spas, barberships, med spas, and other self-care businesses are so personal, the platform powering your business should feel the same. So I just think for anyone involved in this kind of business, running this type of business, like when you start it, you're like, how am I going to manage all this? They're going to do it for you. Online bookings, payments, appointment reminders, client profiles, and more. They make every interaction seamless and every part of your business look polished and professional. Randi can obviously vouch for that. So you don't have to worry about no-shows, scheduling headaches, or chaos. behind the counter. Everything's going to run smooth, happier clients, and they will help you

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off your first year subscription when you go to join BLVD.com slash GGE and book a demo. So that is J-O-I-N-B-LV-D.com slash G-G-E. Book a demo and get 10% off your first-year subscription. Join BLVD.com slash G-G-E. Okay, let's talk about boobs. My favorite topic. Today, Cake's Body is on a mission to provide

boob solutions for all women that make them feel flattered and free while supporting women's health causes. The company has donated over $1 million to women's health causes and recently went viral for announcing the cake's child care credit, fully funded child care for all of their employees. Love to see it. They're nipple covers. You guys, the packaging is gorgeous when you get it. So from the start, it feels like a really luxury experience. The box is beautiful and the leather pouch that it comes in. And they've perfected this adhesive nipple covering by designing the first sticky, nuticky solution. So they're amazing for two reasons. They're super seamless. There's a large size and shape range to ensure seamless

coverage. So you go online, you can pick a number of shades and sizes. And I was in the Hamptons for the weekend and I hadn't gotten these yet. I wore this really thin dress and I was just beaming all over the place. And I was like, what could possibly like fit under this dress because it's so thin? And I got home and tried it on with the cake's body's nipple covers. And I was like, oh, it is like really, really seamless even under something really thin. And it's gentle as well. So it's adhesive-free nip-nook in the center to protect the sensitive nipple area so you can get secure coverage without ripping your nipples off. And it's dermatologist tested and approved for sensitive skin.

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you obviously want the look of not wearing a bra, but you can't show your ariola. You know, because like years ago, I'm like, what's the point of nipple covers? Then I started to understand. I mean, especially you're going to wear something sheer. You're like, I'm fine without a bra.

but I can't be out here full people's dads are around. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You know? To check out the product for yourself, go to casebody.com. You can even use code GGE for 20% off your first order this summer. Okay, and I am telling you guys about quince. I am wearing a quince dress right now.

I am obsessed with this dress. I have a lot of these exercise-type dresses from various brands. It's my favorite one. Hands down. This is the ultraform active dress. This is the plum color. And I'm obsessed with this. I have this in a couple different colors.

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Sandals, their shoes are so great. I mean, everything they do, we're obsessed with. And the best part, everything with. Quince is half the cost of similar brand. Truly, I mean, you see these prices. You're like, what is the catch? But there is none. Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. So, I mean, some things that I'm loving, all of their linen. I have, like, a really great linen set. It's like shorts and a top in black. I just bought a bag. It's this like woven cross-body bag that's like my new bag I'm

traveling with everywhere. You just bought some shoes. You love. I bought two bears. I bought these white canvas, like sneakers for the summer. And I bought these tan mules. which are like a very light color tan, which I haven't seen that I've just been wearing for summer. I love them. And their washable silk is incredible. I just love the silk dresses and skirts and tops and great stuff for the workplace too.

I mean, not everything is just like stuff you're going to just like wear out and on vacation. They have everything you could ever imagine for your closet. And that washable silk is just you can throw it in the washer and just hang dry it. That's what I do. You don't take it to the dry cleaner.

I mean, it's just so annoying. Because you buy something, you're like, well, I got to pay every time I wash this. I got to pay more. Anyway, we are obsessed. You guys, check it out. Give your summer closet and upgrade with Quince. Go to quince.com slash GGE for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's QINCE.com slash GGE to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash GGE. Okay. Let's get into it. All right, guys, we are very excited to welcome our special guest today.

She is a leadership coach and a leading expert in human design. Through her coaching and content, she's empowered hundreds of thousands of people. to overcome their biggest obstacles and find their flow at work, in love, and in life. She has spoken on stages around the world, and her work has been featured in Forbes, Vogue, Allure, Nylon, and more. Her new book, How Do You Choose, is out now. Please welcome to the show, Erin Claire Jones. Hello, thanks for having me. Hi.

We're so happy to have you here. I was reading this book last night in bed, just wrapping it up and just getting the full scope of it. So we're really excited and congrats. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yes. You came highly recommended from lots of people that we know, Vienna Farron, who's a former guest, and the almost 30 girlies, and you just did Caitlin Bristow's podcast.

So you're just, you're in the fan with all the girlies. Who do people tell you look like? Oh, I don't know. I've gotten so many. Yeah. I don't know. Honestly, my favorite feedback I've ever received is just like, you look famous. Yes.

I'll take it. Like, who, you know? But who do you, I'm seeing, like, a few people. So Ashley, like, her thing is to figure out, like, who people look like, she's, like, pretty good at it. She does it with these like reality shows, like the doppelgangers. I know. But you did not ring a bell for me. But do people come up to you and they're trying to place it?

I have, yes. Who do they say? Just say it. Well, no, no, no. I mean, honestly, like, it changes. Like, I feel like there's like a French actress, who I'm forgetting the Bridget, someone who I've gotten before. But also, like, when I was young, I got a lot of, like, Lindsay Lohan on, like,

Ali McBeal, which was bizarre. Okay. But that was when I was much younger. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like you have somebody in mind. It's like, it's a few people. I feel like it's going to come to you.

It'll come to me later. We'll interrupt you. Yeah. There it is. But I just, you have it. You do have a look. I mean, also this happens in L.A. I mean, we were out last weekend.

My fiance was like, is that Haley Steinfeld? I'm like, maybe. You know, you just never know. I know. I was sitting next to somebody this morning who was absolutely in a TV show I watched recently and I just could not place them. And I was just sitting there the whole time. I'm like, I can't ask him.

Everybody in L.A. looks famous, though. I know. I was like, okay, anyways. Okay. So can you just give us like the boiler plate on like your background and how you got into human design and then we'll get into what human design is. Of course. So I had been working with human design for 10 years and I discovered it in 2015 in New York City.

I went to a friend's gathering and sat next to a stranger and the stranger asked to read my human design chart. I'd never heard of it before. It was like super fringe then. I mean, it's still very nascent, but nobody knew of it then. And it was the most insightful, accurate reading I had ever received. And it was also very confronting because I was not living any of the things that he shared. And he actually ended that conversation by saying, Aaron, I think you're meant to do this.

I think you're meant to share human design. And this was like a total stranger. Wow. And that's how it all started. And that's how you open the book. You like share the whole story. Who was he? Like was he just a person who'd heard of it?

Now they're married. Can you imagine? Oh, no, no. Did he teach it in any way or just was it like, hey, have you heard of these love languages thing? Oh, yeah. Great question. He had been studying and teaching human design for 10 years. Oh, okay.

And so he became my first teacher and my first business partner. And so we built it together for two years before I then launched my own practice. Okay. He knew his shit. He did. And he was very much like, you're meant to do this and also like, I want to do this with you. That was kind of the energy of the conversation. So it was really crazy.

Like human design just like resonated with me in a way that was so different than anything else I'd ever experienced. But I don't think I would have thought that like it was potentially a career path for me. Yeah. So it was very much like that invitation, which is what my human design is all about, that I was like, okay. Oh, you're the invitation person. I'm the invitation person. Yeah. We'll get to it. So what is human design? Of course. So human design is a system based on your time, date, and place of birth, like astrology, that basically reveals how you're wired to operate in every area of your life, from how you're meant to find the right relationships, to how you're meant to make decisions, to how you work best, to how you're meant to structure your days. I think why I love it so much is that it feels like it's equal parts mystical and practical. It's obviously mystical because it comes from the stars. But it's so practical because it gives us very everyday things. things we can do to kind of transform our lives.

I totally agree with you. And that's exactly what I thought while reading the book is it's rooted in so many, I mean, it's all about how we make decisions. And is it via jealousy, ego, do I self-soothe quietly? Do I need to talk to a lot of people to come to a decision? And I just, I thought it was so interesting seeing like, what was I raised to do versus like, what does this say that I should do? Women are raised a very certain way to behave a certain way.

Yeah. I just love anything that acknowledges we're all built different and are going to operate differently in the world, even from understanding in my 20s, for example, that I'm just a night person and I should just stop trying to be anything different. And I'm going to work weird hours and stay up late and wake up late. And I don't do that as much anymore. But it's comforting when you can be like, this is okay. Like we're built different and wire different and operate differently.

So you can lean into that and you're allowed to. There's different types of people, not like how your parents or your teachers or your partners or society told you you had to be. That's right. I think that so often we try to emulate what others are doing because it's worked for them and then are confused why it doesn't work for us. And it's just like, we're just different. And I feel like so often I have been able to sit with couples who are really struggling. And it's only because like they're trying to be similar. And when they understand how different they are, they're like, oh, like you're not wrong for making decisions slower or you're not wrong for needing more rest. Like you're just different. So I think

human design really gives us the language to understand those differences in a really specific way. Totally. I mean, how many times in every couple fight do you hear from somebody saying, you're not listening to me? And it's like, but I'm in the room. I'm hearing the words. I'm just adjusting them in a different way than you're expressing them. Right. Like my fiance, I'm like, you're not saying anything. Like, and he's taking it in. He's processing. I'm just like, where's the back and forth that Rain and I would be doing right now? Yeah. So there's a story at the end is about your dad and he needs more time apart.

Yeah. When you don't know this about people, you feel maybe a sense of rejection or they don't want to be around you, they don't love you. And it's just the way that, I mean, that's when you read love languages at a young age. Your world opens up in that people express these things in different ways. So it's a game changer. It is. And I think there's just a lot of friction and misunderstanding when we just don't get it. And human design just helps us understand that.

Yeah. So you break it down. So there's type, strategy, authority throughout the book. And like, what do those things mean? Yes. Great. So, well, first, there's so much more than that. You know, I think what I chose in this book.

Right. I'm like, wait, there's like 10 things. You're like, well, there's a thousand. I think in this book I really chose, like, what are the most actual pieces? What are the pieces that people, like, when they're making a decision, they can open it up and be like, oh, this is what I'm here to do. And then while we're here, we want people to get your book, of course. You guys have to get it.

You can dive in. But if you're listening, maybe we can tell people where right now they could go find this. So there's a link and you can put it in and get this. So you can look it up at human design blueprint.com. It's totally free. And you'll see a really wild looking chart that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But then you'll see a list of qualities. and that's what you should pay attention to.

Type, strategy, and authority are the first pieces. So type is the part of your design that speaks to kind of how your energy moves, your natural gifts, your natural challenges. It speaks a little bit more to just like how your energy works. Your strategy is the piece that speaks to how you're really meant to create opportunities. Like how do you find a new partner, a new community, a new job? It also speaks to communication tips. And authority is the piece that speaks to how you best make decisions.

So are you somebody who makes decisions in the moment based on your gut? Do you need to sleep on things? do you need to take a full month? Must you talk things out? It really kind of helps us know how we reach clarity. Yeah, and mine was pretty spot on. So should we talk about the five types? Yeah, let's do it.

Okay. So what are the five types of personalities? So you guys are the same type. I assume you realize that. Well, yeah, we both looked it up. Okay, good. Yes. Well, we think so.

Raina, she thinks she knows what time she was born, but her dad. My dad thinks you know. You can't trust a man. Yeah, you don't know. But if it resonates with you, too. Okay, so the five types are generators, manifesting generators, projectors, manifesters, and reflectors. So we'll talk about you two first and be honest, if it resonates or not.

So generators are really here to be like natural doers. You both have like so much capacity to kind of make things happen when you feel genuine excitement about what you're doing. And your excitement is totally contagious. Like when you're lit up by a thing, it lights up the entire room. So it is so important for both generators and just generators, anyone listening, to prioritize your own satisfaction. And to see that not as a selfish choice, but as the most,

generous thing you can do. I think generators are so capable. They can end up caring a lot for everyone and everything. I'm married to a generator. I see it all the time. And so really also being surrounded by people that treat your own desires as like really meaningful and worth prioritizing and don't expect you to carry everything yourself. And these are very just like steadfast, masterful people. People are really good at bringing ideas to life. LeBron James is the example I share in the book. But boundaries are a big lesson for them. How does that feel for the trip? I really really do it for both of us. I think that we have a huge capacity for work. I think that we just, we love what we do so much. We love this podcast. We love performing. I think it's our best selves and it's what we've chosen to do. We get so excited

about it. And I think it makes people around us excited to like be on the show, come to the live shows. And I related to it a lot. Yeah, I related to it 100%. And it's very funny because all the examples that you used for my types were just such an honor because it was like LeBron, Oprah and Beyonce. It was like, if Beyonce's in this book, I'm going to lose it. But I've always said I want to be like LeBron. Even though some people, hate on LeBron. I'm like, I love LeBron. He's the goat. But yeah, I mean, the book is very positive. But I was wondering with generators, you speak a lot about how when they're on and happy about what they're doing, they like draw people in. They light up a room, things like that.

Is the other side of it, which I resonate with like when that's not happening, there's a mood shift. Like 100%. And their energies felt either way. Yeah. Exactly. And so the idea is that when they're lit up, again, it lights up the room around them. But when they're not lit up, like they project sluggish energy, frustrated energy, and that also takes down a room. Yes. Yes. That's what I felt like you were saying in the book. Exactly.

And so I think that that's why it's often a real reframe for generators to be like, again, this is not selfish to carve out space that kind of do the things that excite me because it actually benefits everybody. Yeah. You know, and like as somebody who's married to a generator, like I feel that difference so much for me and for my kids where I'm like, when he's lit up, like we all benefit in that. So yes, it goes both ways.

Yeah, that's the vibe I got. For me, it's just I can't do a career. excited about. Like if it's a career that I'm amped about, I'll stay up all night long. I will never stop working on it. All I want to do is talk about work on a date. Like I just, I love it. It excites me so much. But my whole life people have always said like when you don't want to do something or you are in a bad mood like everybody knows. And I'm not, I'm certain, no one thinks of me as like if she's not having a good time, no one's having a good time. I'm not going to ruin everybody's time. But I think it's very clear when I'm not bubbly and happy and excited to

be somewhere. I don't hide that well. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to say. I like, bring the mood down, but I think I can and I try to, then I try not to be there. Like, I'm like, I got to go work out before I can be around people. Like, I think my mood is obvious. And I think there's some people that probably just stay a little more even keeled all the time. And generators are a little more, the highs are high and the lows can be low. Yeah. And I think there are so many parts of our design that can speak to this.

But our design really reveals like how we impact others with our energy. And so it's really useful to know, like, do we impact others with our stress, with our emotions, with how we feel about our work. And so with generators, a big lesson is how they feel about how they're using their energy every day has a really big impact on our environment specifically. You talked about a little bit. I want to move on to other four types, obviously. But this one's going to get the most air time, so we're clear.

Well, you guys want to know about us, and we're the same. So that you sometimes say yes when you mean no. And I do want to take every opportunity and I want to be excited about things. But sometimes I do say yes when I mean no and I have to like monitor that. because when I say yes and I meant no, I am not happy about it. And I bring that energy. Totally. I think that there is sometimes like a little bit of an energy for generators because they're so

capable that they just end up saying yes to too many things. Like out of a desire to please, out of obligation because they think they should. But it's so hard to muster up the energy once they're actually there. And for your design specifically, like you have this like very strong will. Like when your heart's in it like literally nobody can stop you. So I can imagine like when you make promises that you can't keep, you're just like, I can't do it. So, like, I think the decision-making piece is so important for that reason.

I think when we say, yes, like, from the right place and from the outset, it makes everything else so much easier. I've always been a person that's like, I don't want to do what I don't want to do. Like, I knew early on I had to work for myself. I couldn't do a job. I didn't enjoy. And I think Raina's been the same way. And, you know, we've all done stuff we haven't enjoyed.

That's just life. And we still do. But, like, some people can do it more. And I don't feel capable of it. I've learned that from her more. Like, just to be able to say, like, I don't, feel like it. And when people ask us to hang out, I feel empowered now to be like, I've gone out three nights in a row. I just don't feel like it. There's no other, it's on deeper meaning. I just don't feel

like it. Like as you get older, being around people you don't like. You can't do it. We can't do it as generators. You know, like a lot of people can go. This is my human design and I can't come to your birthday because I'm going to see some people that I don't like and I can't fake it. And I think a lot of people don't think like that. They're just able to flow through the world without, I don't know. Well, I just think that you and I will, when we're on, it's obvious. When we're not, it's also obvious. Okay, so funny. Can you talk with other types?

Well, no, I love that because it also feels like you guys are like at a place in your life where you can't force it. Like when the energy's not there, you're like, I literally cannot do it. Yeah. And I feel like a lot of people like are like, I've got to try. And then like it just ends up not working out for anybody. Not at this age. Some things you got to try.

We did this thing last week and she was like, I know you're not like dying to do it. And I was like, but I said yes. And we went and it was the most fun. But see, I know Raina in and out because the amount of times I've told her you're not going to take that vacation. And she's like, I want to go in it. And she cancels it. It is so validating to me. So I do always know because I was like, she doesn't want to come to this thing tonight.

I can tell. I can feel it. And then I was like, she's going to have the best night of her life. I did have a good time. Because I refuse to be the kind of person that shows up and ruins other people's time. I'm not going to do that. I will have fun when I go do the thing. Yeah.

Okay. Manifesting generators. So manifesting generators, there's a lot of similarities here. Some people group those types together, generators and manifesting generators. what makes them really distinct is they tend to be quite multi-passionate. These are my clients that are like, I'm a coach. I'm also like a lawyer. I'm also opening a dance studio.

Like, should I also like become a hypnotherapist? Like, they're just like L.A. Very L.A. Man. Very L.A. This is the most L.A. I've dated him. That guy doesn't have a job, but he has 10 different side hustles.

And he's like, I'm a manifesting generator. It's just, it's in my human design. And that's why. Had a personal trainer. And a breathwork coach. Okay. Yes, exactly. I think that they often have been made to feel like

scattered though and like they're doing too much. But they often need that variety. They need that freshness. You know, I tell a story in the book about a father who came to me and he's like, I'm so frustrated because my daughter is not choosing one sport. She's playing like volleyball and lacrosse and softball and track. And I remember looking at her design. I was like, she's a manifesting generator. Like she's doing it perfectly. So like what he perceived as like scatteredness was very much like her living, her design. Yeah. I like that you frame it like because I'm joking, but this does come up a lot with men and L.A. on dates and it helps me to at least reframe it. I do look at it negatively. I'm like, can you just pull in

support and do one thing, which you are really wired to do. Fuck yeah. This is guys dating 10 women. They're like, I'm just a manifesting generator. You know, I just have to have a bunch of different interests. I have to have a blonde and a brunette, a tall girl, and a short girl. That's just me as a manifesting generator. I could just hear it.

So, I mean, again, I think that like there's going to be high and low expressions of this. Like, obviously, like, nobody can do everything. But it is really good to give themselves space to pivot and try things on and change direction and not feel they need to kind of stick with a thing forever. Okay. And also, I think for us to know with different types, like, I also have a design of, like, mastery that it's like, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just different than me. Okay. Okay. Then we've got projectors. projectors are really here to be leaders, guides, advisors, teachers, not here to do all the doing. So as a projector, I often feel the pressure to kind of keep up with all the generators in my life.

You're a projector. I'm a projector. And so a big lesson for me is like allowing space and rest and pause and just like not getting caught in all the doing. There are a lot of projectors that are like coaches and therapists and counselors. They're often really good at asking the right questions. Then we've got manifesters. Do you guys know any friends of these types? I guess you don't know if your friends are these types.

Yeah. Yeah, of course. Louisa as a projector who is a therapist I'm trying to think of other close friends I guess there's some things that like I see these traits Jackie's the main of the testing generator

Jackie's always got a million things going on sorry go ahead I think that you know we can embody some of these traits throughout like I like to be a leader I like to delegate I like to coach I like to give advice but I am more of a doer than that like I don't see myself as just giving the orders and not I'm not saying you're not in the trenches

but like I just I'm like I have an idea. I'm going to do the idea. Totally. But you think about it and I'm like, I can't imagine being any other way. Like I have to do things my way. I have to be the boss. And like someone like Louisa, who's such a clear projector, who also as a therapist, is like, I want to like support my generators and I want to teach and be there for them and ask all the right questions. It's just you see how people flow and fit together. Yeah. And I think also to your point, it's our type isn't limit what we can do. It's not like only one type can be a coach. It's just like everyone's going to do it really differently.

You know, and so I think that's kind of the magic is like, how can you do it in a way that's sustainable for you? Like, you might have the energy to be like, I'm going to like see a lot of people all day every day. And a projector might be like, I need like a lot of time in between my sessions, you know, or I need like a lot of breaks. So it just helps us kind of tailor that a little bit more. Yeah.

And then we've got manifesters. Manifesters are very like innovative, disruptive people, people that are really here to kind of do things their own way, tread their own path, not here to be told what to do or manage or guided in any way. Their energy can be very on and off. So like they might be like super. super inspired for weeks at a time, followed by kind of time to be alone, these people crave freedom, you know, in relationships, in work, and all the things. So really having the space that's going to

be free to ask for what they want, do what they want when they want. Okay. This is a type that I feel like I often feel the most. They walk into a room. I'm like, that's definitely a manifester. Is that very like tech startup type people? Yeah. Like very visionary people for sure. We work guy. It feels like, it feels masculine to me. Some of these feel a little more masculine than others. Well, the examples I give in the book are actually all women. I'm thinking, my Angelo's a manifester, you know, which again, like doing her own thing, but also like really impactful people. Gloria Steinem, again, just like getting things started. These people are so good at like starting movements, starting ideas, like not really here to do all the doing to keep

the thing alive. Like big dreamers? Yeah. Totally. And really good at kickstarting things. Okay. But less collaborative, it seems maybe than somebody who's like a generator. Potentially. And for them, it's really about kind of allowing and support, like not doing it all alone, but like maybe having a little bit more independence at the beginning. Okay. But they're often very autonomous people, you know, where they kind of like need that space and they might want to like do the thing and then hand it off. Yeah.

And something I love about the book is you describe the challenges with these types and what their faults can be in a workplace environment or relationships and things like that, which I think is important. And those resonate as well. Right. And again, we can struggle when we don't understand it. Like you might be dating a manifester and kind of perceive their need for time alone and space as like taking it personally.

Like something's wrong with our relationship. but it's like, oh, that's just like such a fundamental need of theirs. Or like, you know, you might try to give guidance to a manifester, but like they don't want your guidance. You know, like they're going to do it their own way and they'll ask for it if they need it. So I think it helps us know how to engage with them in a way that actually works. And strategy, like how you communicate, it's so tightly linked

because like obviously there's a very specific lens through which each of these groups want to speak to other people, collaborate with other people, etc. Exactly. There's one more. One more type. Reflectors. Reflectors are the rarest type, just one percent of the population. Wow.

these people are very sensitive to their environment. They're always kind of taking in and amplifying their space. So they have to be such wise curators of who they spend time with, where they spend time. All of us have to be that. But they have to do that very much so. They're also very fluid people. Like they will show up in different environments and different seasons of their life, like totally differently. And so for them, it's about really embracing what feels authentic in the moment

and not kind of trying to put themselves into a box. Are there types that really just don't vibe? Because it feels like it would be generator and reflector. No, Dinwidson. You think so? I don't know. Like, I'm trying to think of that type of person. Well, do you mean like at work or in friendship or to date?

Friendship, I guess. I love the question. I think that, like, where I think generators and reflectors could struggle is generators really are good at being pretty reliable, really consistent. And reflectors, their energy changes day to day. That's what I'm saying. I can't show up. The vibes aren't right.

Right. So, like, it feels like that can be hard if they're expecting each other to be the same. That's, well, yeah, but like a generator's like, oh, my God, stop being. He's such a baby. Just come. Okay. But like, I don't know.

The vimes are on. And I just didn't energy in this. And I'm a different person today. And you're like, grow up. Okay, I'm surprised you didn't pick manifesting generators and generators. Because to me,

that like chaos of like you never know where they're going to land. You never know like what they're going to be today. They might just teach a class. They might just surf. Like you just, that I can tolerate those people for a little bit. And then I need to take little breaks. I guess,

yeah, just whoever is more reliable. Because I think the generators, both types are just doers. Yeah. Yes. Which we love a doer. And I think, I mean, unreliability, I think, is something a lot of people just kind of grow out of with age.

Yeah. So maybe this is unreliability is linked to a certain age also. The projector just feels like that like, like, woo, like floating through life. I mean, you know, we all have one. Who's yours? I don't know. I'm also just trying to think of my mom. Like which one my mom is.

Huh. Because she is like just kind of so chill in the clouds, never stressed. She is like, but you can depend on her. She'll show up. And I don't want to say like reflectors are unreliable. I know. I'm projecting that.

But like I think it's there. They're just energy does change day to day, which as somebody who loves, you know, when I'm around a reflector, I actually love it. Okay. Because like it feels like every time I'm around them,

like I get a new thing. And one thing I did not mention is like, reflectors are incredibly wise. Like they just see and sense and feel things that most people miss. And so often when I'm with them, I'm like, what do you think about this?

What do you see about this? Because their perspective like blows my mind every single time. So like I do. I do think that so many of the challenges come when we expect them to be like us. Like I think there's like so much like potential when it's like you are different. Like you might not have the same energy to show up day after day. But like what are the gifts that you do bring to the table?

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how you make the decision? And also around how you create opportunities for strategy. Okay. So let's talk about the different ways people communicate and then how that relates to the types. because I really didn't even think about all the different ways that people are like communicating like anger, jealousy, rage, excitement, all these things until I was like reading it in the book. So the strategy, generators and manifesting generators share a strategy. So we're going to start with you guys again. So there are two pieces I want to share here. One is that when it comes to opportunities in your life, you guys are both meant to be very magnetic. You're not meant to like sit here and be like, what is the next thing we're going to do? Like you're meant to be like out in the world doing the things you love. And then a thing shows up and you're like, that feels good. That feels exciting and just kind of keep moving. So. It's actually about letting things come to you and seeing what sparks a gut response.

When it comes to dating, it's like, you know, you're on an app and you're like, them. Or you're in a room and you're like, see somebody across the room and you go kind of feel that pole. So this is not about initiating or chasing, but kind of seeing what sparks that gut. But once your gut is sparked, you can be an absolute powerhouse and kind of making things happen. So I'm curious before we talk about communication, like when you think about opportunities in your life, does it feel like things have shown up in your world? Do you think you kind of push? What's happened?

I feel like I have a good gut sense of like. what's going to go really well. I also fail fast. If I realize something is not going to excite me or I'm not going to be good at it, I pivot. I think her and I are both like that. I think we've both identified in our lives like when we're just kind of done with something or like do a new thing, create a new opportunity.

And I think we both only want to do things that really light us up. So like what is that thing? Yeah. And not throwing a bunch of stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks, but making mental note of those things that like feel exciting, even though they can feel kind of minor. and you're like, can I make a career out of that? Totally.

A friend of mine is an amazing terror reader. I'm sure she's very familiar with all of this. And she read my tarot cards prior to meeting Raina even and starting the podcast. And she laid all these things out that I was doing and told me what was coming up for her. And she couldn't have predicted it more perfectly. And was like, the podcast is the thing because I'd had an idea about it. And as she was saying it, I was like feeling the way it felt in my body. And like, she's right.

And let's pursue this. And so I met Raina and I was like, you want to do this thing. And we both knew it was right. Yeah. And we went into it cautiously. We were vetting each other. But I think we both knew it was right and we were excited about it. It's a planned risk.

It's a calculated risk. Yeah. You know, like neither of us are like fly by the seat of our pants. I guess I'm curious to just like zoom out from us. Like what would the opposite of that be? People that are hesitant to make decisions, people that don't trust their gut. So there's like some people like you too that are meant to kind of let things just show up and see how it feels in your body.

So it's being very gut led versus what you think you should do. I think the terror example is a really great example. Like she presented a thing and you're like, that feels right. And your body just knows, you know. And like one thing I'll add around communication and then I want to talk, I want to answer your question is also generators often need specific things to respond to. So if I'm to ask you like an open into question like, where do you want to go or what do you want to do?

You might be like, I don't know so many options. But if I'm like, do you want to do this or this, you're like absolutely that one. Yeah. When somebody asks me for like recommendations, I'm like, well, how many people are going on the trip? And what's the vibe? And where are you staying? And is it men or women?

Is it couples? Is it a girl trip? Like, I need to know all the details. And I do, I want to circle back to outsourcing decisions to like tarot card readers and therapists, but should we finish the opposite of this? Okay. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I want to talk about that.

So I think that the different strategies are, so some people let things come to them, the two of you. Some people like me are meant to be invited into things. And then, so can we say them? It's wait to respond. Yeah. So wait to respond for generators and manifesting generators. For projectors, it's wait for an invitation.

So when I think about all the big opportunities of my my life, like how I was introduced to human design. It's been like somebody being like, Aaron, you should do this. Aaron, you're meant to do this. Like, I'm going to create this opportunity for you. So it's not about seeing how I respond to my environment. It's about like having somebody see my gifts very clearly and invite me in to share them. So for somebody that's like a generator, you kind of see an opportunity, but you just, you're more deciding for yourself. It's more around just like you can respond to anything in your environment. So the question is like, where is your gut pulling you? Okay. The invitation is more around like who clearly sees your

gift and really values them. Yep. Okay. As opposed to somebody. saying like do this. So maybe also how you risk like outsourcing decisions, which I found so interesting, like a therapist or a terror reader or I mean, and your friends. Yeah. Like I think different people would respond to a tarot card reading in different ways. Yes. Those sound like the lunar cycle people, right?

Taking all the time. Isn't there like a wait for a lunar cycle person? There is for decisions. I'm getting ahead of myself. But I know. There's so much. The other, just the other strategies just so I cover them is manifesters are here to initiate. So this is a type that does.

doesn't need, this is initiate and inform is the name. They don't need any external cue. For you guys, it's about responding to your world, being out of the world. Manifesters are kind of meant to wait for like some urge to take hold when they're like at home or taking a shower on a walk and they're like, I have a vision that I must bring to life. So the thing I found the most interesting with the initiate and inform people was some of the dating examples. Yeah.

Because I think women are often told like let a man approach you and you want to be wanted and chosen. And you talk about this client. It says she was struggling with dating. her coach advised her to sit back and wait for partners to approach her, but this left her feeling disempowered and like she was bad at dating. And she just started to initiate more. And it doesn't mean you have to walk up to people and ask them out.

Totally. If that's your style, then she found better people when she was doing the things that were part of her human design. And it says initiating a connection doesn't mean you always have to take the lead. It's simply how your relationship start best. It's just so interesting because we'll have girlfriends say to us like, I'm on this dating app and he keeps asking me questions, but he won't ask me out.

And I'm like, ask him out. Like that's so natural to me. You're on a dating app. Totally. You're here to date. It's so natural to me to stay like, are you free Saturday at six, whatever? But that's not, this helped me to like remember like, that's just not natural for everybody. Totally.

And like making the first move doesn't, again, have to be so scary. But you talk about this one example. And it's just if this is what works for you having some of that choosing power, use it. Yes. Yeah. And I think it does help us do things in a more natural way for us. us. And like, I think a lot of manifesters I've worked with, especially women, like, they're, like, they've been hesitant to initiate. And yet when they think back on their most meaningful

relationships, they're the ones that, like, on a whim, they just, like, made the first move in this kind of moment of courage. And so, like, I think it's really empowering to be like, but what is the way that things are most naturally going to emerge for us? You know, I married my best friend. Like, the person, like, literally saw me more clearly than anyone and, like, invited me into our relationship. The last strategy is for reflectors. This is called The Way to Lunar Cycle. Why you loving? No, it's just these are the farthest people from like my types. Every time I was reading about, I'm like, you know when you read about types of people

and you're like, a little bit of them also fits me. You're like none. Nothing about. Not one thing. Couldn't be me. I love it. It's like the woo-woo people. Right.

Well, it is so fun. It does like bring so much compassion into relationships to be like, wow, you're so different than me. Yeah, I love it. Opportunities emerge for them when they're in the right space. So let's say when it comes to dating, I would actually say the best strategy for them is to kind of plant themselves in spaces that feel good. I mean, like a cafe, like a city, like a dating app that they love being on, like an online

community. Like being in the right spaces is what opens the door. And so they're often like trying to force things when it's not working when like that's how they can be most proactive. Okay. And I want to talk about like the way that you make decisions, which is like I just thought that it was interesting talking about like that you need to like outsource your decisions to like a bunch of friends in the group chat versus people that are like, I don't

need to survey the room. Like, I have one friend and she's always like, I don't take advice from people. I don't need it. I don't want it. I just, she's one of my favorite people to go to for advice. And it's funny because she's like, I would never ask for advice. She's very good at like self-soothing, giving herself advice, acting on those actions. I definitely like to ask a few different people.

Yeah. I think that my friends are really smart. I like their opinions. So I am not always like, my idea is the only idea. And this is the thing I'm going to do. So for you, you two share an authority in human design. seven authorities, it speaks to how we best make decisions. The two of you are meant to make decisions in the moment based on your gut feeling. That basically means when you get a full-bodied gut,

yes, there's not like a need to like wait and let it settle. Like it's just like, I can take action. If it's anything but a full-bodied gut, yes, it's either not the right time or not the right thing. A week later, you might be like, yes. But I guess why I love what you're sharing is that when you're talking to people, I actually feel like you're just giving yourself more to respond to, like your tarot example. Like your friend could say a thing and you're like, doesn't feel right. Yeah. Or they could say a thing and you're like, oh my God, yes.

You know, so you're just like giving yourself an opportunity for your gut to kind of respond and see if it actually is the right thing for you. I mean, again, I think my friends are really smart. I like to source some information for people outside of a situation. And then I feel really empowered to, like you said, make my own decision. But I like the information. And we always talk about like if we make a decision, like if we decide to not do something, how does that feel in our bodies?

And like I think we just, we make decisions really quickly. And if we don't want to do something, I think we're all so quick. to like survey the situation and not do that thing. We do that a lot with what does the alternative feel like. And it's an immediate sense of relief. It's something as small as like going on a trip, changing a flight, doing something. It's just or something big. I mean, you could think about this breaking up with somebody.

I mean, you could think of like, think about not being with them. Ask yourself if you really feel a sense of relief. And it's, you know, there's one thing to kind of know your gut feeling and there's another one to trust it. You know, one of the stories I tell in the book is about this woman, And when she came to me, she was, like, really having a hard time in a relationship. She was about to get married. And, you know, like I said, generators responded well to specific questions. So I was like, do you want to get married?

And she was like, no. You know? But the thing is, I was like, when do you know he wasn't right? And she was like, from the minute I entered the relationship. So, like, she always had that gut feeling like they're not right. But, like, we can so often convince ourselves out of it. And so I think with a gut instinct, one thing for both of you to know is that the gut doesn't come with a reason if you find yourself saying, like, I think that I should

do this because maybe this thing will lead to this. It's like, you're not your gut. your gut speaking. Your gut is like, feels right, doesn't, don't know why. Trust that I'll find out why later. And so it's actually so cool that you guys share that because you can actually probably observe in one another when you're speaking from like that gut knowing versus when you're not.

And I think with generators, don't correct me if I'm wrong. Like you really do need to be aligned in your life and what you're doing to fully trust your gut. Because I've had these moments of my life. I just felt like I couldn't trust myself. And when I really looked at what was going on, it was like a darker time or I was going through something. or a tough relationship.

And I know those moments too, where I'm asking too many people something that I typically would know the answer to myself. Yeah. One of the stories I share in the book is about a couple, this is hilarious,

a generator with a gut response, a sacral authority and a reflector who's meant to give themselves a full month before they make decisions. Oh my gosh. And I know which feels like probably a little bit inconceivable for people like us. Like I have to sleep on things,

but not a full month. That's the reflector. That's the reflector. That's the reflector. But when they came to me, they were trying to decide whether or not to move to the East Coast. And the woman was like, I absolutely know we're supposed to move to the East Coast.

Like it's immediately clear we don't need to wait. And her husband, she's like, he's changing his mind every single day. And so what she perceived as waffling was just like his process of finding clarity. It's interesting like what gives you anxiety because like not making a decision

is what would give me anxiety. Not being like clarity. This is what we're doing. Like Ashley and I, I mean, we work well together because we're like, how does this feel? What are we going to do? And it's not rash.

But it's like, If I had to sleep on a decision, we sleep on this decision for 24 hours, maybe. If Raina was like, well, I got to give it a month. And I got away for that lunar cycle. And then I'll let you know. I'd be like, I don't think we can be in a business. Sometimes it's like 6 p.m. And I'm like, this is tomorrow's problem.

But like other than that. But I see what you're saying is the other side of the coin is like making the decision is what makes people feel really anxious. Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard to like overcome that. Right. Well, right.

Because on the other side of that, like I'm somebody who's meant to sleep on things. And this goes beyond type. So even though you guys share enough. not all generators do. But like for me, it's like if I decide in a really rash way, which, again, is not rushed for you guys, but would be rash for me. I wake up the next day and I often regret it. And then I like have to like find my way out of it. And so like I like need time for it to settle. We say I'll sleep on this. We do that. I don't look at what we do is rash. I just think we like to make a decision and we like to work towards the goal that we've decided. Yeah. Well, your design would

say you guys both have the capacity to make pretty fast decisions when it's a yes. Yeah. I don't like to sort of ruminate in a decision. And of course, there's bigger things, like, where am I going to live? Am I going to marry this person? Like, those are hard things. And we're going to get into, like, choosing people, choosing a career, choosing where to live, choosing friends. But the other one of these, we just sort of run through them really quick. We have emotional. So we have emotional. Emotional authorities are meant to sleep on things and give themselves a couple days. So not a full month, but like 24 hours, two or three days. This is mostly for the big decisions, but I would say even for the small ones, for me taking a couple hours can make a big difference. Totally. Splenic authorities are super

fast. Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift is the example, exactly. And she's kind of meant to just make decisions based on like the whisper of her intuition. It's not that visceral way. That's like a lyric. Oh, really? No, I'm saying it sounds very Taylor Swift. A whisper of an intuition. There's seven authorities and five decision types. I'm sort of wondering like how many of them are hyper tied to each other. Like somebody who makes a decision in like one second all seems like somebody that's like really, they're independent, they're the boss. They don't crowdsource. Totally. Help. So there are different options for every type. So like for generators, you could only have two. You could either trust your good in the moment or trust your good over time. Manifesters, those very independent autonomous people,

they have three different possible authorities. Okay. Okay. There's different combos. Yeah. And you guys, again, go to the thing and do your chart. But like it's a great question. Like even though manifesters are supposed to initiate, like they might have to sleep on things to see what to actually initiate. Okay. Some other authorities, they're self-projected authorities. They're meant to kind of talk things out. This is not about seeking advice from others, but seeing how it feels to talk about a decision allowed. I love this one. At first I was like, what does this mean? And then it's just like you find the answers as you're feeling it, leave your body. And so you need the right sounding boards. So again, it'd be helpful

to know if your partner was that because you're like, oh, my job is to like ask the right questions and give you space to talk it out. Sure. And probably really important, like, who you surround yourself by. Exactly. And also to be explicit about what you need. Like, I'm looking for you to listen and ask questions not to give me advice. Totally. Then we've got ego authorities. They're meant to make decisions based on like what they have the will to do. This actually might resonate with you a little bit because you've got a bit of it in your design. Like this is all about like what do you desire? Like what do you want?

What do you feel like you must have? Because when these people, when their heart is in it, like nothing can stop them. And it's also important for them to kind of be healthfully selfish in their decision making. And what I mean by that is just like making sure that like they're like receiving a lot in return. Because when they're receiving a lot, they have like so much energy to show up. I do see that for Raina. Well, yeah.

But it is like these people again like when your heart is in and nobody can stop you from doing anything. Yeah. I'm curious. like what I love with these people is like you hear their heart speaking when they're like, I have to do this, I must do this, I want this, I desire this. Like I'm curious how. I don't know about in a career sense. I'm very much like that with trips. I'm like, I'm like that with social plans. I mean, I just wake up and like, this is the thing I want to do right now.

Yeah. And if somebody's like, can we wait five hours? I don't want to wait five hours. Totally. When I'm ready to walk out the door, oh my God, nothing makes me feel crazy. And somebody's like, I just need to go to the bathroom or fell in a waterfall. I just want to go. Yeah. Thanks. But it also manifests itself sometimes in being, I don't know, I, I have to have some self-talk where I'm like, slow it down. Yeah. You're being a brat. Calm down.

Other people don't need to exist like this. Well, can I do a quick tangent just on this thing for you? Because, like, also how this can show up and work is that you're somebody who is so capable and has a level of will that most people don't that you can often, again, feel for to not resonate. You can often be kind of disappointed in others comparatively low capacity. Like, I feel like people who have this can really struggle because they're just like, others can't do it as fast or as well as me.

And so much of your journey is like, how can I maintain really high standards for people, but not be unrealistic in my expectations? I struggled to this when I was younger. Yeah. When I first came out of college and I'd have jobs and I was specific. I managed restaurants for quite some time. And I would be surrounded by these men, these male managers and I just would run circles around them. I thought that they would show up hung over. They would show up late.

They wouldn't do as much work as I would. And I was younger than all of them. And I really struggled to like be nice to them socially. Yeah. Because I was like, I am better than you. I'm faster than you. And it didn't manifest. It manifested in like a bratty way.

And I'm proud that I like outworked everybody, of course. But I thought that was the generator thing too, expecting others to do as much as you as a challenge. Like that really resonated with me. I mean, that's like being the leader of the group project. Yes. You know, like generators are the person that carried the group on their back.

Yeah. And I think we all can feel that. I guess to take like the leaf from it like in a negative sense for me, I struggled to respect those people. If I don't respect you at work, didn't respect you in life. Yeah. And as I've grown up, I've been like, okay, everybody has like a different path.

And I've also made myself the boss. And you are absolutely meant to be the boss. So, like, it makes sense. Like, I don't feel like you would do well working for other people. And I couldn't work with somebody else that didn't work really fucking hard. Yeah. Like, we just never. Yeah.

I mean, we've been together. We've been together in business for like seven and a half years. It just wouldn't have worked otherwise. And we like vetted that early on. Yes. You're just like, is she going to work hard? She's saying what she's going to do? Totally.

So. Okay. Well, yeah. It's interesting to hear your experience. Thanks for sharing that. I think that the other authorities, there are mental authorities. They're kind of meant to just talk things out in a lot of different spaces and kind of see what threads emerge over time. And the final one is the way to lunar cycle or not.

None. It's called None in the book. You hate these people. I know. I hate the name. I'm kidding. But None is so funny. I know.

I have not historically called it that, but I did go by the traditional names. Just not to confuse people in the book. But I think none is so annoying because it basically. You're nothing? It's right. It's like the idea is that there's not like a consistent place in our body, like your gut that you look to. Because it's whatever they're feeling that day. No, no, no. It's actually actually hates these people. It's seeing what feels good over time. These people are meant to give themselves a full 28 to 30 days to make a big decision, which I know for people like us can feel like, whoa. And yet like that's how they land in their truth. Yes. They can live like that and good for them. I'm saying like if that's what works for them, it sounds crazy. Well, what's the one right before that? that? The mental. Okay.

So the people that need to like talk things out in different spaces. Are those people that like comment on Reddit a lot? I just like, how did you find your way here? You don't have friends or a family. You're just going to create an avatar and be terrible. That's a good turn. Be terrible on the internet.

Like that's, I think that that's who's on Reddit. I don't know where you got there. It's finding clarity by discussing decisions with trusted people and environments that put you at ease. So not Reddit. Obviously Reddit. Yeah.

Reddit has put me at ease, but it puts other people at ease. What would the multiple spaces be? Like you would talk to like your co-workers, your parents, like what would that decide you're at? The idea is like different people will pull out different parts of you. So it's often kind of giving yourself a space to kind of connect to a few different parts to see what stays true.

So it's maybe like I'm going to talk to a sibling, a friend, be in a coffee shop, call somebody else. I think this is a lot of people. It's not. I mean, it's only 2% of the population. But I think it also depends on the decision. I think a big decision, like you really do circle the wagons and get people's input. Yeah.

Some people. I think the bigger the decision, the more input I'm getting from people. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I want to talk about how we choose people and then how we communicate with the people that we are dating. So like, let's talk about how these different types choose partners, date, show up in the dating. Oh, so many things. I know.

I don't even know where to start. I know. I don't either. Do you want to start with types? Okay. Because I think that I'm going to talk about qualities that are probably important for you to have respected in a relationship. Okay. Does that feel useful?

Or like who you're drawn to and why? Yeah. Okay. Like how you pick? So yes. Okay, so let's talk about generators. I would say that, again, it's going to be totally gut-driven for the two of you. It means that, like, somebody might look perfect on paper and, like, check all the boxes

and you're like, they don't feel right. Or somebody's like, this is not who I had in mind. And yet, like, I must talk to them. So for you, it's both like, who do you feel naturally drawn to often in ways that are undeniable and pretty inexplicable? I would say that for you, like, it's also be your own people that really energize you. When you're on people that energize you, again, it's like super infectious. I think one thing to keep in mind for generators,

is that you can carry so much. So really being with people that are like prioritizing your excitement, creating space for it, kind of taking things off your plate. Yeah, like lighten your love. Yeah, exactly, because you can like handle so much yourself is so important. And also seeing your desire is not as like superfluous or unnecessary, but like, I need to make space for that. You know, I tell a story in the book of two generators who are married and their biggest love language is like, oh, I can like see you're having a hard time. Like, go work out on the yard. I know how much you love it. Or like, oh, like, I see you having a hard time. I go work on your book. I like know you need to write your novel. So it's like really kind of tending to that. What was sort of the opposite?

Like I definitely think her and I both relate to just being like, we have a list of things we would like, but you know, there's not a rigidity in it. So like what would like what would the opposite be being somebody that's just like, I have a list? I want a man in finance who makes X amount of money who went to an Ivy League school and I refuse to pivot from that. Even if I walk into a room and I find somebody like would that be the opposite of that? It's a great question. Nobody's meant to like have a list, but it is meant to be like what you're looking for is a little bit different. For the two of you, it's like meeting somebody who your body is just like magnetized to them. They walk in a room and you're like, I can't help but like be so drawn to this person.

I'm curious like with dating for you, have you felt that kind of, do you feel like you allow that gut response to be your guide? Yeah, sometimes at my own detriment. Oh, yeah. But I think that there's not a ton of commonality between every single person I've dated. I mean, I've been in serious relationships with really nice people to treat it. you well. And that's the commonality. But I don't have like a type of like this type of career, this type of lifestyle, this type of background. Like if I vibe with you. Right. Like I know when I'll

see it. Yeah. That's what's important to me. Yeah. And what about your fiance? How did you feel when you first met him? A long story. Because I technically did meet him a year and a half, two years before we got together. But it does all resonate. I weirdly had a list that I didn't really think about in the moment or when I first started dating that he really fulfills like the whole list. So I do feel like that was some manifesting going on there too that was always in the back of my mind. But yes, I knew how I felt with him. And I just followed that. The relationship didn't make sense for a bunch of reasons. I mean, we were across the country from each other. He's younger than me. And that's not what I thought I was looking for at the time. I thought I was looking for a different type of guy

that lived here or lived in New York. I mean, there were so many reasons why I just never would have thought the first night we hung out, hooked up, that that was going to be my man. And but I just, he made me feel comfortable and I just knew. I always say if I just know I want to see somebody again. If I just know I want to text them back, like that's all I need to know. Yeah. And I'd let that guide me. But it's weird because, you know, he had been in my DMs for a while and something

made me hit him back. And I think I was just horny. But, you know, I just was like those things of like, what if I didn't? Like I could cry. I mean, I just, what if something in that moment didn't make me reach out to him? after him being interested in me after all this time. So all those little things resonate with the type of person, I feel like I am. That's why I asked about the rigidity of like the, like, to say like, I want somebody

lives in L.A. I'm just not going to entertain this. Like, that's not what you're like. So like you are more like, this feels good. Yeah. I could lean into this. Well, so let's talk about the other types and how they pick. I'm really curious.

So for projectors, you know, I actually never really felt like I was good at dating for a lot of these reasons. I think projectors, like, are really good at seeing other people. Like, they are really good at making others feel seen and understood. and what's so important is they feel like so deeply seen. Because projectors, like, aren't natural doers. So they need somebody who's like, I see you so clearly. They really do well with invitation.

So like a lot of question asking, like a lot of curiosity. I think for me I often found myself in relationships where I was asking all the questions. And so one of the biggest kind of compasses for me is like where is their reciprocity, where am I also being asked a lot of questions? Like where do I feel really seen in return? I think projector energy is a little bit intense in that like they can really lock into people. So they have to feel like really invited in by that person. and often how relationships best start is somebody seeing them clearly and inviting them in.

But I think the questions are like, do you feel seen? Do you like questions are being asked? Do you feel invited in? Like, do you feel really genuinely recognized? And I think to your point, like some of these things are going to hopefully resonate for everybody. Like I think we're all going to want to be asked questions. But I know for me that's kind of like the thing that I watch out for.

And like I said, the person I married is the person that like asked the most questions. Like there was the most reciprocity. So like that's always been the thing that I followed. Before him, were you picking up on that? that when you would meet other people or date other people, like, would you reflect and be like, I just asked them a million questions and it wasn't reciprocated? It was like the default, you know? So I would say, like, I was picking up on it, but I was just kind of like, it was the norm.

But did you know that you wanted a different type of person? I think that he was the one that helped me reveal, like, another kind of person was possible. Right. You know? And it's true of friendship, too. Like, I feel like for, as a projector, like, I was in so many, like, large communities, which I love. But then I was like, I love that I like make people feel seen, but I don't feel like.

seen by any of them in return. I had that sort of a dating coach say that to me recently. She was like, do you slip into this thing where you ask other people a lot of questions and you've mined a lot of information about them, but you're not really sharing anything about yourself, so you don't actually feel a connection to them. Totally.

And they might feel so connected to you. And they feel connected to you. And I think that you see so much on dating content, TikTok, and everything, people saying, like, men don't ask questions. And this dating coach had said to me, like, practice being comfortable, being quiet, and being asked questions. Because where I really fall for somebody is when I feel like

they really understand. I understand my life. They ask me a lot of questions. They're smart questions. They're intuitive questions. Totally. And I feel excited to share the stuff with them. But I will slip into the other role more naturally.

Well, I told me this other day. It was like there's a theme between some of these men in her life that she's really fallen for. And it is that those are the ones that ask a million questions are so enamored with her as a person and what she does for work and all these types of things. And it makes sense because the other way is that you're on a date and you're interviewing people. And then you look back on it and you're like, did he even get to know me at all? So you will find your person. But then when do you stop asking each other questions?

Well, I guess like are you and your husband just nonstop like all the time? Oh my God, no. Well, we all have two young kids. So like we need a break from talking. But I think that like I would also say for you as a generator, like because generators are so passionate, like being asked questions about like the things they're most passionate about and excited about is like the best thing, kind of like the weight of their heart. It is.

Like projectors. Projectors might be like, how do you see the world? what do you think about, you know, but like there's something about like being asked about your passions and things, which is like so... It's literally like, this is what's kept her locked on some of these guys for years. It's because they want to hear about her work. I mean, the last person I'd say I felt like... Yeah, it's my whole person.

Now he's what I want to talk about. And we had a sex toy company and we did this podcast. We tore like all over and talk about his work. The last person I would say I felt like real love feelings for was somebody that would just spend hours talking to me about me. I don't have to see the other day. I was like, I just wanted to flag this. I was like, do feel like this is the thing that we should we need to talk about.

But it was interesting when Amy, my dating coach had said to me, like, you don't feel any connection to these people. It's because, like, you're just asking them questions. You're not really sharing anything about yourself. But you feel seen. And that's the thing. No, in the relationship you're talking about, I feel very seen. That's why I was so in love with him.

Okay. By relationship, I mean, we were never in a relationship. But the dates that I go on where I walk away. And Ashley's always been like, you don't have. get that excited. Like, I think that's because, like, I don't really walk away feeling a real connection to a lot of people, but they feel connected to me. Yeah. Totally. Okay. Okay. Okay. Makes me want to look at all the other parts of your design. Okay. So then manifesters. So, like, we talked about, they're here to initiate relationships. So it's kind of like, if they feel like an

urge, just like to do a thing to just kind of go, like, let people know what they want. That's often how they start. I would say what feels important for manifesters in relationships is to feel like permission to be like really big. Those people that are like big and bold and have visions and not having somebody question them or talk them out of them, but being like, you're going to like do things your own way. I'm like, I'm not going to try to get in the way of that. I think I mentioned this already, but manifesters need a lot of space. They're going to be alone and do their own thing. Their energy ebbs and flows. So having this space be like, I need to go be alone. I want to sleep alone. I want my own apartment. You know, like I need that autonomy. You know, I tell a story in the

book of a couple and one was a manifester and they were dating long distance and she loved it because she had all this autonomy. And then they moved in together and she was like, I feel so constricted. And I think the conversation was like, is this still the right relationship or are the conditions just not supportive? So they ended up sleeping in their own bedrooms. And then she's like, oh, this is amazing. That's so interesting. Yeah. So it's just like maintaining that autonomy. And if you don't understand someone's different needs and personality, you would be to get personal.

Totally. You know? And like, again, manifesters are very on and off. So like you might have a week where you're like, oh, my God, we're hanging out all the time. And the next week, like, they're unavailable. So it's like they need to have people that are secure enough in their connection. that it's like, I can let you be in your own burst and be alone, and that's perfectly fine. Do people compare these human design types to love languages?

Because it sounds like there's like a connection between these. Yeah, I think that like they do, but there's no like, you know, really linear correlation. Like I will say that like projectors tend to love words of affirmation. As a projector, having somebody like specifically recognize you is like the weight or our heart. Generators tend to love like acts of service, like in a way that kind of gives you more space to do the things you enjoy. So like there are, I think, connections like that. Interesting. But again, no like super linear ones.

Okay, thanks for telling you that. Reflectors in relationships, your favorite. You're going to find out somebody who love is a reflector. Actually just ends up French. Or we're just going to find out your actual reflector, you know, the birthday. We find out the actual time. You hate what you are. I think that reflectors, you know, because they are so naturally fluid,

they need to be with people that give them space to kind of keep becoming new versions of themselves where they don't feel. Might not be you. but like that like every day they got to be to somebody different typical reflector can you hear their vows

oh my god a wedding that's forever reflector every day he gives me a new space to be a different I know you're not gonna like this but I remember getting a talk once

and there was a reflector and she was like in my dating bio I literally put I am undefined because she was like don't try to put me in a box because it's changing yeah you can put me to box yeah

and then I guess I would say one other piece with reflectors is because they're like a little bit unicorn They're 1% of the population. These are people, my clients that are often like the most relieved to learn their design. Because they're like, I wondered why I didn't feel like most people. And so I think it's important for them while they're dating, exploring to kind of be with people that just start to recognize how different they are that kind of aren't expecting them to operate like them.

Are they best matched with another reflector? Like in general, are there which of these types are best together and which are like, fuck no, stay well back. So I think everyone will have a different perspective on this. my perspective is that human design shouldn't limit like who we can or cannot be with but more that it tells us who we can be with that person best. Yes, I like that as opposed to like,

because people do like, you could never be with this astrological sign. It's like people do it every day. Yeah. Like I think it's more a thing that like once you like have decided that you're like, oh, this person I want to like marry, then it's like, okay, now let me look at their design. You don't have to wait that long,

but like let me look up their design and now discover it. I would say there's something really nice being with people of a similar type. There's a sense of like resonance and harmony. It's just kind of like a lot of my best friends are projectors like me. But I do feel like we're often attracted to difference. You know, so I see that a lot in couples with like opposite designs. So, but it requires that they understand how different they are.

So we thought it may be fine to ask you like some different dating behaviors and who's most likely to do these things. And some of them I'd call it really negative and some might call like self-harming behaviors, like extreme people pleasing. That's the funny thing about the book. It's all pretty positive. Yeah, right. Let's see if you can talk some shit.

Okay. Is there somebody, is there a type that's a little more prone to like ghosting? They're not going to have the conversation with you. They're just going to piece out. She's like, I can't say this. I would say reflectors potentially because they tend to avoid confrontation. Really? In their shadowy expression and their wisdom, they speak their truth, but in the shadowy they can.

Yeah, I figured she would frame it as being conflict diverse. I would have thought manifester just to fly. Manifesters are actually another great one because like I didn't talk about this. But one of the biggest lessons for manifesters is keeping people in the live. loop and it's often the most unnatural thing for them. So it is very natural. As you said, for manifesters to disappear and not even think to keep somebody in the loop and the person's like, I'm sorry, what happened?

And so manifester is like a big practice for them. It's like, how can I like let people know what I'm choosing and just keep them informed? And reflectors are like, I was a different person yesterday. So I don't know that person. Energetically, I don't relate to that. So is that sort of like also like really hot and cold behavior? People that like

you're just not really sure what you're going to get day to day with a partner? Is that sort of what you're also describing? They can't loop you into what's up with manifesters. Yeah, well, it's because their energy is going to change. Like, they're going to have, like, moments of, like, really on fire and back. And so, like, yes, I think that, like, you might feel like it's cold because they haven't been in touch for three weeks. And then they come back really hot. And you're like, I'm sorry, what happened? And they're like, oh, I was just like, in my own thing. I'm back. I'm ready. Again, this is

why they keep people in the loop. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. What about people pleasing? I would say potentially generators. Okay. And I say that just because, like, people can like want them to do all kinds of things because they're so capable and they can like really start saying yes from the wrong spot. Okay. Okay. Chronic flakiness. People that just are a little inconsistent.

You don't really know what they're going to do. I would say again, in a shadowy expression, potentially projectors and reflectors. Because like they just might not have the energy that day and then like might not let people know. So again, it's like important to kind of honor those ebbs and flows. Okay. Love bombing. I would say probably manifesting generators and generators.

Yeah. Okay. overthinking every interaction needing to dissect every text message what does this mean all women all of us yeah doesn't it almost feel like a more of the strategy or the decision making like behavior yeah i think so and i think honestly what i would think of so many of us i would actually say you and your design i don't know if you actually resonate with that but also like the mental authorities because what they have which you also have is like a really powerful active mind that's kind of always thinking so if they kind of use that to just dissect everything,

then it can drive them a little bit crazy. Okay. Okay. Idealizing somebody too quickly. You go on first dates and you're like, that's going to be my husband. Oh my gosh. This makes me think of a profile, another part of human design.

This is people that have like a five in their profile. If we have any human design lovers listening, I think you both have a five in your profile. Is that true? Three out of five. It's not a fraction, but I love that. What is that? I think you're five one.

It's another part. The five is very much that people can like project possibility. onto you. So they can actually pedestalize you guys. Oh. What's the three? What is this three? What is this three fifth? The three is around the fact that you're going to have learned through experimentation, trial and error, throwing things against the wall, seeing what works. Okay. So for me, it's a little bit lesser around which type does that and more of who it's often done to. When you guys do this, you're going to get this big chart and you can go through it. And we also have a code for you to purchase like your full scope of it. And we can share that at the end. But this stuck out to me. It's

not self-theme. Yeah. And mine was fresh. So I just, I want to understand it. No, it's a great question. And I talk about this a bit in the book because it's so helpful. But we basically all have signals that reveal whether we're on or off track. Okay. So for the two of you as generators and for manifesting generators, off track, which happens inevitably for all of us, often shows up as frustration.

And it's rooted in like, just like you're not enjoying how you're using your energy. You feel resentful. You feel dissatisfied. You might get into bed at night and you're like, I don't like how I spent my energy today. And I also feel like exhausted in like a really unsatisfying way. The opposite for the both of you. to be on track, it's to feel deeply satisfied.

Yeah, the signature. You drop in a bed and you're like, I'm delightfully spent. Like, I have left it all in the field. I mean, just watching you both come like, mm. That's how I want to feel. I mean, I was just talking about a glass of wine, a little Vanderpump on the screen. Killed it all in the field.

It's so funny. So like, I would say if there's a relationship that's consistently bringing you frustration, like that's basically a signal to look at it and be like, could I show up differently? Is this still the right thing for me? For projectors, it's bitterness when they're off track. I was going to ask the others. Which is not being recognized or appreciated for me.

It's like I just feel unseen. I feel like nobody's asking my perspective. To be on track for me as success, all projectors, which is like I feel like so invited to like do the things I'm doing and I feel compensated for them. And I feel like I feel just like really, you know, empowered to be who I want to be. Manifestors to be off track is anger that often is like a disempower, like not free to do what they want when they want. And their signature, the signal they're on track is peace.

So they give a relationship brings them peace. That's often a really good indicator too, like free to do what they want. when they want, reflectors your favorite type. Off track is disappointment. And it's often kind of like just not allowing themselves to be present to like where they are, spending time in the wrong spaces with the wrong people, and to be on track as a sense of surprise, that they're kind of constantly marveling at all the amazing directions life is taking them in.

You talk about there's, you know, how you're raised and there's choice and that's what you're predetermined to. And I like that you just say that like we can learn better decision making. We can learn to do what makes us feel good and gives us peace. And a lot of people, and especially women are conditioned to be a certain way, to make decisions a certain way, to not be disruptive, to placate, to please other people. And I think that your book gives a lot of autonomy to, like, change, let go of those bad things that don't really serve you.

So I just, I love the book and the way you speak about choice. And just understanding the people in your life, your friends, your family, and your partners or future partners. Exactly. I think my hope for the book is that you don't only read the chapters about you, but you also read the chapters about your partners and friends and business partners. colleagues because like even me reading the chapter about generators. I'm like, oh my God, I could do this better for my husband or like reading about my daughter. So like it is such a

beautiful way to understand the people around us. I think it's a really fun exercise with a partner or a close family member or anything like that. I love it. Okay. So you guys get the book and tell us everything else like, you know, where to follow you but also we have a code. You take it away. So the book you can get anywhere. How do you choose a human design guide to what's best for you at work and love and in life? If you want to dive deeper, you can go to human design blueprint and get a hyper-personalize guide. It's all about you. The code is GGE.

And just so you guys understand how hyper-personalize, there are 400,000 possible versions of this guide. I know. It's crazy. So really unique to you. Really custom.

And then on Instagram, I'm at Erin Claire Jones and Human Design Blueprint. Okay, amazing. Amazing. You guys get the book. It's out now. Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you. So in that code, we'll give you guys a discount on your full personal blueprint. And you guys can find us at girls got to eat.com. Girls Got Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess.

Raina is Raina. Our sex toy company, Vibes Only, we mentioned a little bit today. That's vibes only.com. YouTube, subscribe, share with a friend, and we will see you guys Thursday. Have a great week, guys.