Girls Gotta Eat - What Women Want feat. Comedian Sydnee Washington

Episode Date: July 15, 2019

Do lesbians deal with the same bullshit straight women do when it comes to dating? We have hilarious comedian (and lowkey model) Sydnee Washington joining us to discuss this, along with other topics like the female orgasm and life factors that affect it, opening up your relationship, communicating with women vs. men, your family not accepting your sexuality, and much more. We also bring back Fuck Marry Kill, and catch up on celeb sightings, Rayna's vibrator crisis, and Ashley's hot new neighbors. Enjoy! Follow Sydnee on Instagram @JustSydbw. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @OneHungryJew. Check our website for NEW tour dates, merch, and fundraising. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Figs: Get 15% off your first order at wearfigs.com with code GGE at checkout. Living Proof: Get 20% off any No Frizz products at livingproof.com/gge, code GGE. FabFitFun: Get $10 off your first box at fabfitfun.com with code GGE. Lola: To get 40% off subscriptions, go to mylola.com and use code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listen, you can't be not cleaning the house and not making somebody come. That's where men get it all fucked up. It's like, so wait, so sir, you're just not going to, you're not going to work out. You're not going to look good. And then you're going to not fucking clean the house and not make a bitch come. Oh, hell no, you got to die today. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to eat. Hungover intro coming in hot.

I'm banged up today. So it's the day after my birthday. Look, birthday talk is over, but that is the, Guys, we made it. We made it. We don't want to talk about Ashley's birthday anymore. We've only used up the intro three weeks in a row, dedicated Ashley's birthday.

Okay, two weeks in a row, this will be the third because we are hungover from my birthday. I feel like I'm in a baseball game. You know when the kids are like, good game, good game, good game. I'm just like, high-fiving all the listeners. I'm like, we made it through. Thanks, guys, for all the birthday love. July 10th is a dark day.

I am not okay. I'm not all right. On my 30s, I can't trick like this anymore. You were lit last night. I got drunk, I sobered up, and then I got wasted. Okay, we're going to talk about it, but I want to talk about the things that I'm most excited to talk about. Oh, my God, oh my God, drum roll please. Oh, we are finally announcing our tours.

Do your drum roll? I felt, I knew, I could tell you wanted. I could feel it. You wanted to do it. It makes my lips all tingly. It's nice. We finally got our shit together and we're announcing our fall tour dates. We had our shit together.

Everyone else got their shit together. Everyone else finally got their shit together. So we're announcing a bunch of cities that we are so, so, so excited about. So right now we're doing two different tours, I guess you could call it. So I'll announce the first one. So in September, we're going to do cities in the Midwest. So we're coming to Detroit, Cleveland, Columbus, and Pittsburgh. I feel like I'm going to cry.

You're crying. We're doing Carnegie Library Music Hall, which is a gorgeous venue. I'm going to get tickets for all my friends. They all have these, like, they're all married with kids. Their lives are so boring. I'm just going to give them like the best nights of their life. We've been waiting to do Pittsburgh for still lying in all these cities. So dates are available for those on the website, obviously, of course.

But we cannot wait to time. We're trying to keep this short. So stupid live shows.com, girls giddypodcast.com. I just want to hammer that these are still called stupid live shows because that one girl that said the joke is over. It's not, bitch. It'll never be over. This is our branding.

It's never. It wasn't over. It still isn't over. I'm a real low-key excited for. Detroit. I've heard amazing things. I've only ever been there once. I was in Gross Point, Michigan, with my boyfriend who I couldn't stand.

Eminem. Gross Point's like the right side of the track where everybody's like really wasp being stuck up. Okay. And if his family is listening, I hated being there with all of you. Every single one of you, there's no exceptions. All for you. Hated all of you. And your son's a piece of shit. Oh, my God.

So they're coming to the show. They will be our guest at the show. know. Sometimes I'm like, I'll lay in bed and I'll be like, did I go too far with that? You know what? I'm never going to feel like this about that comment. You talked about this. Yeah. It was an episode about meaning people's families, I think. Yeah. So maybe around the holidays. People remember the story. Yeah. You know, people might not remember what you said, but they'll never forget how you made them feel. Oh my God, Maya Angelou. Oh my God. You knew that was Maya Angelou. Whoa. Oh, hungover. It's working for me. Okay. Do you want to announce the other city? Yes.

Yes, girl. Of course I do. We are, I can't. I'm so. I'm so. excited to get to do this and tell you guys that we are coming to Atlanta again. Oh my God. That was the second show we ever did and we're coming back for more. We are doing center stage in Atlanta and we are doing Charleston. I'm so excited to go to Charleston. Love it. And we are doing Charleston Music Hall and then Charlotte. I am so excited to do Charlotte because we kind of overlooked it last year and then we got so many requests about it. We were like, well, then fuck yeah, we'll come. So Charlotte, Atlanta, and Charleston, these dates are all kind of that third week in October. So basically these are a month apart. It's like third week in

September, then third week in October. So excited what I'm going to plan for Atlanta. Watch the fuck out world. I can't wait. And all the other cities, but I'm going in. Ashley books the entertainment of the shows. I don't know anything about it. Literally until the minute the show starts. I don't, I don't ask any questions. I know nothing about it. So you guys will be as surprised as I am. On that note, we right now, we are. doing our shows. And so next week we'll give you guys an update on like Atlantic City and what went down at that show. We're preemptively talking about it, but we will want to discuss it next week. And then what rain over there's tickets for? Phoenix Denver sold out. Salt Lake is not sold out or in

Salt Lake on the 18th. So if you guys are around, come out, it'll be a lot of fun. I'm super excited to check out the crowd in Salt Lake. And then Toronto and Montreal, July 23rd, 24th are not sold out. You guys get tickets for that. And finally, Minneapolis. Saturday night, August 3rd. It's going to be so much fun. It's one of the coolest venues I've seen in a long time. It's the varsity theater. And I'm just super, super excited to perform there. And that reminds me, I need to, we just got this email from them. They saw what we were doing with the fundraiser and they want to do something with it or match what we've, I'm not sure. I can't quote them. The email just came through. So they love that we were doing this fundraiser.

That reminds me that we still have the fundraiser up. You guys heard us talk about it last week if you listen, but immigrant families together. The fundraiser for them is still up there, the nonprofit that's doing all this work to reunite families that were separated at the border. So Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com, click on charity. We're still going to keep that running for like another week or so. You guys have the donations have poured in. You guys have been so incredible. Yeah.

Tag us in your donations. Thank you so much for sharing this on Facebook and Instagram. You guys flooded them with money. Yeah. And every dollar really counts. Yeah. And we'll give you an update to once being raised. The way it's set up, it doesn't say, which I don't love.

But we will obviously that you guys know, super 100% transparency on that. Okay. announcements out of the way. Go get tickets, guys. Get those tickets. We anticipate all of these markets are going to sell out and we are not doing second shows in any of these markets. So a lot of times we will announce the first night and we'll add a second night secretly.

We're not doing that in any of the markets, unfortunately. I'm glad you said that. Just strictly based on availability at the venue, not because we don't want to. But once they're gone, they're gone. Sorry, guys. But I can't wait. I can't wait to cry through the whole show in Pittsburgh because it's going to be the best night of my life.

Oh, my God. I'm going to wear like a starter jacket. Yeah. I'm going to wear a starter jacket. I'm going to wear a penguin's puffy coat, and I'm going to drink a Mickey's Ice 40 on stage. Yes, girl. That's how I grew up. You're a lot of Steelers hat.

My mom's from Beaver Falls right outside of Pittsburgh, so maybe make a lot of beaver jokes. Do you ever think about like the name of towns you say them so much, you just forget them, but like in Pittsburgh, there's Beaver Falls and I'm from Squirrel Hill. Someone was like, what's a good name for this town, Squirrel Hill? Right. They named Beaver Falls after Sidney Huston. She got so much. She's going to be around.

She'll be around. our special guest. Her and her beaver. Anyways, so let's talk about your birthday one more time before we don't talk about it for a year. Okay. So, no, I don't want to say what happened. So some of you guys might have seen this on my Instagram story, but we're still going to tell the story anyway, for those of you that didn't.

So last night, obviously, I did a birthday dinner at Ozatar, our favorite restaurant. Basically, so they would just let us take over the restaurant. They let me put on my own music. You know, they brought all this food and wine. It was great. so we had a big, big dinner there. I pop in early in the night. I'd already checked out the AC situation the night before,

but I wouldn't just confirm that it was okay. So I go in at like six, our dinner's at eight. So I pop in there at six. I'm walking home from running errands. And I'm like, hey, we're the owner's named Terrick. We love him. I'm looking for Terrick. And I see a bunch of ice buckets and stuff on this long table that I'm like,

oh, that's for me. That's so cute. He's getting set up. You know, the party's not for two hours, but he's getting everything in place. And then who walks in? but DJ Khalid. So they were for him.

He dined there. I was like, this is crazy. And I was like, I guess he's DJed my party. Like, I can't believe they set this up for me. How nice of them.

DJ Khaled. He was there. He was, I mean, his Instagram story, he did a whole Instagram story and how much he loved it. He did a whole hype video

and posted it on his feed. Yeah. I know. 16 million followers. He put a video on his feed. On his main feed. Wow. He was out there.

He was doing his fan love and everything. And, you know, I got to say, I don't care that much of, about DJ Khalid. I mean, I think we can do without him on every song that he's on. But who else would yell at another one though? True. But so many of you guys, which I love you, these empowered women out

here got multiple DMs and like, why don't you ask him why he won't go down on his wife? He's canceled. You guys are so funny because I'm over here like, DJ Callet, ha ha, this is so funny. You guys are like, no, it's not. Fuck him. Doesn't go down on his wife, asshole. I love you girls so much. The only two things people know about DJ Khalid is that he yells and another one. And then he doesn't go down on his wife. Seriously. Like nobody, name five songs he's on. You can't.

I mean, I could. You could. I mean, we the best and another one and doesn't eat pussy. And that's all we know. But he was there and then he left right before I got there. But then he was, I just love that he promoted that place so much. That's our favorite restaurant too. We had a great dinner.

A friend of mine brought me a fireball shot in like a little mini bottle. And I took it from the mini bottle. So it touched all of it. over my lips and that's partially why I'm hung over the day, but also my lips kind of flared up because I am allergic to hot cinnamon. Is that what happened? I'm a little bit allergic to hot cinnamon. Like I can't eat, I can't chew big red, but it's not like debilitating. It's not like a peanut allergy, but my lips swelled up and they looked amazing. You never looked better. Seriously. You look like you got lip injections. You looked like you like walking a doctor office and said,

give me a new face. It was crazy. I didn't think I wanted lips, but I think I want some lips. Yeah, if you guys are listening, somebody buy her some lips. Or fireball chapstick. I don't know. That was crazy. I didn't know that's what that was. You've never looked better. I don't want to insult you, but like you've never looked better. And I think I was drunk because my lip gloss was all sloppy. It was probably like over.

You added some lip. Okay. But then something happened to you afterwards. Anyway, so thank you guys for all the birthday love, the fan love. But tell me what happened. I just was all banged up. You have a couple stories to tell. I was all banged up when I left last night.

First of all, I like, I got to tell you, you walk out. There's this guy that is so your type. He was like very cute, very brown. And then Raina's like, I'm sorry. I'm a boyfriend. and started like trying to introduce it to me. He was annoying me though. He just,

I hate when men just like won't stop. And they just like, he got at you. Yeah. He like got up, walked onto the street. Like, do less,

buddy. Yeah. I do like a brown guy. I just thought it was funny because to hear you slur, I have a boyfriend. I was like this bitch. Yeah. In New York,

you think that to Turch's men, but it doesn't. Men are like, I don't know that dude. You said that when he was sitting and then he got up. He was like, that makes me want you more.

Yeah, he's like, I don't fucking care about that dude. I don't know him. Seriously, in New York, that is not a deterrent. If you were like, what could you say to determine? I'm looking to get married soon. Yeah, I'd like to settle down.

I'm looking for a commitment. And you don't have a boyfriend. I mean, you have a dude, but I just thought it was funny that you were like. Full on lying. I've never heard you slur that out. Pour it out of my mouth. So the other guy that I have been talking to a little bit, so I walked down the street.

I was so drunk. I just mumbled gibberish for 15-minute walk home. On the phone with him? Yeah. Oh, you called him. Probably like this fucking bitch. God damn it.

I got home. I walked into my friend, in my door. My doorman had a giant, just delivered box of Joe's pizza just sitting at the front desk. What the hell? And I'm like mumbling through.

I'm like, oh my God, it's amazing. I've never talked to him before. He's like this fucking bitch. Which one is it? They're so weird. Your door men are so weird.

Everyone is just weirder than the next. There's like four of them. Not a one feels normal. None of them. They all have their own weird quirks. And they, they all really scape me out. Every one of them.

It's just like none of them is just normal. None of them like do I have a bodily reaction to every one of them. Every time I walk in or out of the building. They're all so different. Like the one is like just really got like chestermil lester vibes. But he's the one that wants to talk all the time. And then there's the one that looks at me like I'm about to rob the place every time I walk in. Like I'm like, bitch you know me.

I live there's the big black dude that doesn't know what's going on ever. I love him. He's the one I like, yeah. Sweet old man laughs. There's one more that I can't think of. There's a young black guy who I like a lot. Actually, he's my favorite. And the one that looks at me, he is, since we're saying what race there are.

He's like got an Italian vibe. He just looks at me like, what are you doing here? The bigger one? He's like glasses. Moustacheo. The mustache. Yeah, the mustache guy. That guy hates me because he's from Pittsburgh also.

And when I used to walk in the building, he'd be like, what's up Pittsburgh? Steelers, am I right? No, not him. That's that. I'm thinking that he's dark hair and he's kind of mustache. He's got like slick. He's got like a Guido vibe. It's him, the Pittsburgh guy.

No, that guy's light hair. No. Who lives there? Mary. Oh. Are we cutting this? Here, talk about it. So you got some pizza.

And then I had like, all right, so last week we had like phone sex tier one. Yeah. We've leveled up to tier two. What? This is why all your vibrators were dead today? I tried to masturbate today and all four of my vibrators were dead. Are your vibrators battery powered or plug in? They're all plug in, which is a mistake.

Mine, the one we got from. Labeland has lasted since that episode. What, the, the magenta one? On one charge. One charge guarantees hours of... Oh, I masturbate more than you then, because that thing dies on me once a week. Oh, my God.

Wow. What do you just constantly have it on in your pants? It's supposed to be like 10 hours. Okay, well, I master... Dies once a week, so you do the match. Every day. Okay, so... So my apartment, every outlet has a vicarage.

vibrate or plugged into it right now. If you walked into my apartment, there's just dildos everywhere. Okay, so what was tier two? It just was like a little dirtier than tier one. Like I stepped up my guy. I don't want to scare him during tier one. Is he do it? Is he good at this? I'm going to ease him into it. But he's,

he's doing it. He's participating. I love to hear that. I just, some guys, like, you can't get him there. You know what I mean? I dated a guy that we never would have done that. I never even attempted it. He would have been so awkward and so weird. My DC boyfriend, one time I was like, what kind of porn do you watch? She was like, I don't know, I don't watch porn.

I was like, what do you masturbate to? I don't really masturbate. Well, do you think about me when you masturbate? I don't really masturbate. No, he's like, who are you? You know, we'll get them there. We'll get them there. I just feel like some people need to be like eased into it a little bit, you know?

You just, you can't come straight out of the gate with like the crazy stuff. Also, we're going to do an episode about sexting as soon as possible. Sexting and phone sex. That'll be all being one. Yeah. Dirty talk via technology. I just, nothing makes me hornier. Nothing.

Like, then like the sexting dirty talk. Girl, what? Maybe having sex makes me more. I literally, if I'm like sexing with a guy, like, I'll read those as like my porn when I'm like masturbating. Like women just really get off on that shit. Absolutely. A good sexter, who, lock me up for life.

Oh my God. But yeah, also being of sex, you guys have inundated us with hammock sex stories. Oh, my God. So we did get a house. Denver with a hammock. So I am going to try it. Oh yeah, you're going to try it. Because you guys who sent us, please don't send us anymore. I get it. But hundreds of Diaz, I'm exaggerating, probably 75, about hammock sacks and how great it is. My question is, where are you in the hammock? Do you think that, like, who's on top? I don't know. And then someone wrote and they were like,

stupid me the whole time I'm picturing like a hammock that has holes in it, which is just impossible. But there are like more sturdy hammocks. Like, there's ones that feel like they're more like a flatter surface. But I'm sorry, though. This one girl message that they did doggy in a hammock and I'm not buying it. I am because it's like a sex swing. She was on all fours and he was standing. That's how I imagine it.

So he's not in the hammock then. So she's in the hammock and he's using it as like a swing for her body. That's what I'm envisioning. Oh, that's what you're picturing. I'm just like, there's no way they were both in a hammock and he was on his knees. There's no way. No way. Okay.

So she was like swinging. That's how I envisioned a hammock sex. All right. I'm going to email her back. because I was like this liar. Listen, guys, we can tell when you're lying. We see through all of your emails. I want to talk about this thing that happened today.

What happened today? With the neighbor. Oh, your neighbor. Ashley's working on a project. Actually, one of you are working on a project for Ashley. We have a new manager now. Let's talk about that. Okay, this is funny.

So, which I feel like these people actually want to be talked about in the podcast. So you're welcome. This happened the other day, a girlfriend of mine. invited me over for a barbecue and she was like barbecue on a roof. And I was at the gym. I was like flywheel. So I like was like, I'll just go after there afterwards. You know, I'll have a drink, have something to eat. Go over afterwards. I get into her apartment. I'm like, who is even up there? Like her best friend and roommates out of town. I'm like, who do you have up there? She's like, girl, nobody you know. And I'm like, oh. And she's like, I hooked up with this one guy

last night. And it's him and his friends up there. They're really hot. I was like, what? Fresh dick. I was like, word. I walk up there. She's right. I'm like, who are these guys? I'm like, I hate that I'm like profusely sweating, but it was fine. So we were talking to these guys and, you know, we were just chatting with them. I ended up having to leave after like a couple hours. And I definitely thought they were hot. They live next door to me, like next door. Like I saw one of them last night, the one that she looked up with, going to my birthday party.

You know what I mean? And I was like, come bring your friend. So I'll take both of you. So the one guy is like moving, but I was like, whatever. I mean, he lives next door. Like, that's perfect. I mean, that's super ideal to me that, like, he just banged you for three weeks and you don't have to talk to over again. Thank you.

That's what I was thinking. So, but whatever. I'm like, that guy's hot. If something happens, it happens. But I'm not going to think too much more about it. And then he DM'd me today. And he was like, hey, great to meet you the other night. I have a girlfriend that's like a fan of the show.

Just kind of wanted to like her to say hi. And she jumps in. He put me on a DM with her. And she's like, I listen to your show. She says this, like, really nice stuff. And I was like, this is really hung over in a dark place. And it made me feel better. and I was like, thank you guys are awesome, whatever.

And then she goes, so you guys should 69 before you move. And I was like, oh, what? This girl is really. She's sex trafficking. One of an angel. I know. And then she's our new manager. And then she proceeds to like text him.

She's texting me. She's like really trying to work this out. And she's like, Ashley loves 69. I'm like, the girl, no, it's the exact opposite. So she had to go back and tell him, I'm sorry. I misspoke. So I'm like on this text with these two people. And she literally.

like we're on a text chain with me and all my other guy friends. And she was like, some of the others are interested. So like, you better act fast. I'm like, you're our new agent. You're my new agent. I love her. She's just broken deals for your pussy. But I don't know.

We'll see what happens. It was very funny. So I wanted to give her a shout out. I, shout out to Marissa. She's our new favorite. She's our new favorite fan. Like, and I was talking, I was like talking to you.

I was like, this guy slid in my DMs. You know, he can get it. But I don't know how to go about this. She did the work for me. She's also like lining up backup plans for you. She's playing hard to get for you. Thank you. Favorite listener.

I will stay tuned. We'll let you guys know what happens. Well, yeah, because she goes, when she said the 69 thing, she's like, you guys should 69 before he moves. And he wrote back like, I'm down only if you talk about it on the podcast. And I was like, that's my only requirement as well. Oh, your interests are aligned. I feel like this is going to happen.

We'll do it on the podcast. Yeah, like a live 69ing. Yes. Sorry, well, that's enough about what's going on with us. Yeah, you ready to? I'm ready to do the podcast. Today in the house studio with us and do. We have a very special guest.

She is a hysterical comedian. She's so beautiful. I cannot stop staring at this outfit and your titties. I'm sorry. That's part of your credits. She does the unofficial expert podcast with another former guest of ours, Marie Fauston, who is also hilarious. They co-host a show in New York City at the Knitting Factory every week, every Sunday,

which is phenomenal. her on Comedy Central's up next. Please welcome to the studio, Sydney Washington. Hey, gals. I love that the... How is the intro? I love... First of all, that was a great intro.

I love the speed of it. It was like, let's get it in. That's what it is. And then you shut it out my tits, which I paid 10th ground. Thank you so much. Thank you for saying that. I'm wondering if those were real. I actually wouldn't have thought they were fake.

No, they're actually, for the amount I paid, they should be bigger and they should be more out out and about. They're a perfect... I think you want with fake tits, people to look at them and be like, those are so nice. They look fake, but they might not be. But you have this tiny ways.

You walked in, I was like, God damn it, I'm wearing a T-shirt dress and like glasses. And you're like full runway. You're fine. This is the look for the whole day, sweetie. Girl, this is my look for the whole day too. I love it. You were wearing that last night. Yeah, I wore this last night.

You're giving me Hampton's Resort. What are you talking about? It's probably like, seamen on this dress. I was just like, I'll just pick up my Monica Lewinsky dress and come over to Ashley's. I think you just had semen instead of come. Why are you so official right now? official, I'm proper now, okay?

Seamen. Who has ever said that? I've said semen before. I've said it, but I'm just like, it's come. But I was thinking about Monica Lewinsky and there was semen on the dress. Your dress is blue too. No, when it absorbs semen well. You say come when, and actually when the person comes, but you say semen when it's on an article of clothing. All right. All right. Uh-huh. That's fair. Yeah, that's what it is. We're being very low-in-order SVU. I don't know. I kind of like, I think it's funnier to be like my clothes are covered and come. That's funny.

I think I'm going to see. Sydney, what do you know? You're left. You're laughing. Cindy, but down. Guys, I haven't seen semen like with my two bare eyes in over six years.

Okay. Yeah. I have not seen semen in an apartment that I've been at in years. So long. It was there, though. You didn't see it. It might have been there. I had a black light.

You had a black light. Do you miss semen? No, we're going to talk about it. Okay. So we're going to talk to you about, um, yes, you're, your dating life, your sexual life. Yes.

So let's just. start off with, where are you from? I'm from New York. Okay. I was born here. He's like a powerful New Yorker. Okay, I was born here, but I grew up in California to have a childhood. So, oh, nice. Yes, I'm better than everybody in New York. You are, you are. Like, I have the street credit. I can say I'm in New Yorker, but it's like, I also had a backyard. I was driven everywhere. Wow. This train situation. That's not, oh, oh, small flex, because I'm here, Uber pulling my life away, but I did grow up with trees and I was able to be a kid

and have a bike. I did. I had a legit childhood. Yeah. I mean both my parents weren't in my life, but I had a childhood. You were just out there alone? I was feeling that real New Yorker vibe. Like, you know, when you're a kid here and you grow up and you're like just taking the train and you're four,

I give that same energy in California. You did. Yes. You went to California with no parents before. I did not look for my mom. You were like, bye guys. I got to get some trees in this childhood. No, I grew up with my great. aunt and my great uncles. Okay, got you. So that's what it is. I grew up with three senior citizens. I mean, honestly, she should be a movie. She's like, you know what, bitch, I need more Oakland in my life. Yes, that's what it is. I needed more Oakland. I needed backyard. What is this

shit? I needed Oakland. I needed Oakland. I needed senior citizens. I needed to know what like diabetes was up top. Like, I came back here when I was 13. Okay. I had to get like resituated with just like talking to people because when you live on the West Coast, you're so happy. You greet people. You're not like, oh, everybody's out to get you. So I had to come back to New York and learn to get some common sense. And learning it real miserable.

Yes. Yes. Right away. Stop saying hi to strangers. I just didn't know how to not be that person. I was just so happy to see people. I went to middle school and everyone thought that I was on meds. Because they were like, why are you so fucking happy? You were too happy. I was so, I was like, hi. Oh,

she's definitely on something. It's like, I'm 13. What can I be on? And then I went to a school and everybody was on Ritalin. So it's like, you can't be on something, bitch. Like, don't act like that doesn't happen to New York kids. Oh, for sure. Yeah. And then where, did you go to college?

Yes, I went to college in Massachusetts, good old Worcester, pock the car, whatever. All right. And then, I mean, you're here to talk about your lesbian relationship. Okay, so we jump from me going to college in Massachusetts. But anyway, then you came back to New York. Yes, came back to New York. And I started my long, loving relationship with

waitressing. That's what I did for 10 years. I was a cocktail waitress for 10 motherfucking years. Wait, you have a story. Who is it Jim Carrey? No. Yes. I've had many stories, girl. 10 years. I remember, I think I saw you to show. You told that story. And I have a story about him too. We smoked a blunt together at like a rap party for Dumb and Dumber 2. He's so cool. Smoking with Jim Carrey is like one of my life's highlights. I was like texting everybody I knew. How did I know about that? He's a big. He is so freaking cool. I feel like sometimes he doesn't know he's Jim Carrey when he's out and about. Yeah. So I did that for 10 years and then I started comedy like six years ago

and doing great at that and then I also met my girlfriend almost five years ago as well. Okay. Yeah. Is she the first female you were in a long-term relationship with? Yes. Okay. She's the longest relationship I've ever been. So before that, you dated men? I dated men, dibble-dabbled in women on the weekends, but yeah, I was with men. I would say that I was full time with men, but in my heart,

I definitely wanted to be with a woman. But like in high school and stuff, just met. Like, did you ever think you were not straight? The first person I hooked up, not hooked up with the, my first kiss was with a woman. Oh, okay.

And then I always had a stronger connection emotionally with women. Like I would physically be hooking up with dudes, but mentally I feel like, oh, I should probably be with a lady. Did you even have the maturity level at that age to say to yourself, like, I feel romantically connected to them? Or did you just think, like, this is what female friendship is like?

Did you recognize what I'm saying? Like, that was romantic. Because we are confusing. Like, I feel like women's relationships can be very confusing because, you know, we change in front of each other. We hug, we touch. We say things that we wouldn't say to other people just out and about. We bear our souls to each other.

So if you meet your friend and she's fantastic. and she got things going for her and her body's banging and she got like two abs. You're like, how could I not be connected to you, bitch? Like, I would sleep with you if I could. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Did you ever identify as bisexual?

No. I never identify with anything other than a hot mess. But I definitely hooked up with tons of girls. And then I finally realized I was like, what are you doing? You got to make a choice. I don't say everybody has to make a choice, but it's very. expensive. It's a lot of money doing both. I think it's a lot of money doing both. You have to explain that what? It's a lot of money doing both because especially right now, I would hate to be bisexual

because you go on these like apps, you go out, you go out with a dude, you're like, I don't know if he paying, you're going out with a girl. You're like, we definitely split in it, splitting this shit. So it's just too expensive. Okay. It's too much. You got to pick. You got to think about it too much. You can't just go out and have a good time. I would hate to be on an app right now. I'm so glad that I'm in a relationship. Yeah. So tell us how you met what the story is. Central Park just out out of a legit rom-com. Yes. Y'all should hate to see it because it was like one of the most beautiful things. Shut up. It was literally me in a long skirt. I went to many, many events that day and went to Central Park because there was like summer stage.

They have the free concerts there. And so I had been drinking a little bit. But I saw my now girlfriend with like two of her friends. And I'm wasted talking shit to my friends. And I'm like, I would make out with all of them. But I was joking. I wasn't serious. And something clicked.

And she came over with her friends. And they were like, you was talking all that shit, girl? You're going to kiss all three of them? And I was like, oh, no, no, no, no. I am a good Christian gay. How dare you? I would not. I'm not doing all that. Not here in broad daylight. But she ended up asking me about myself and, you know, I just couldn't stop talking about me. And I said that I was a You're like, this is the best conversation I've ever had. Yeah, just me, me, me, hello. And I told her

that I was a comedian and she was like, I love comedy. So anyway, she said that she would come to a show and that's why I gave her my number initially. I was like, I could get some more fans. Okay, now they're back. I have like a burning question for you. So you meet her and you'd never had a serious relationship with a woman before or you had? I had. I was in like a year relationship with this with this lady that I met at a club. That's my fault. It's like why are you trying to have a serious relationship with someone that you've been rolling face with? Like I was so out of my mind. I had dropped two ecstasy pills. There was no way I was going to get anything worthwhile out of this relationship. But I ended up going to Miami. She ended up getting locked up. I know this,

you might think this is like, oh, what kind of woman is this? This is a beige woman from Nantucket. So like, there's that. You're just like, oh, she's getting locked up. Where is she from the Bronx? No. What, call it crime? She was from a cottage in Nantucket and doing the most in Miami.

So, yeah, I was with this girl for a year. And after that, I was like, I don't want to be with girls for a minute. So it took me three years after that to be okay to be open with a lady. But like, as a. I don't want to get another relationship or I don't want, I'm dating men now again. Yeah. I was like, you went back to men? I'm good on women.

Yeah. Oh, you did? Yeah, I was like, I'm all set. So someone kind of burned you. So prior to your girlfriend, you were dating men. Yes. Okay. So you just went back and forth.

Yeah, I did. And so I guess you could be like bisexual, but it's more like, hey, whatever is in front of me at the moment. Okay. Yeah. Do you feel like people just, not everybody has to identify as something? Do you feel like a lot of people are just like, I met this person, whether, no matter what kind of parts they have, genitals. Like, this is a person that I'm attracted to. You don't have to

identify as a certain thing. Yeah, everybody wants a title, but it's just like, we're not at a restaurant. And everything doesn't need a label. Right. I don't need to know all the ingredients. Just know that the person is alive. Right. Okay. They of age. And, you know, they're cool. Yeah, I don't need to tell you what the situation of the relationship is. And I don't need to tell you what I think this relationship is. It just know that I'm okay for now. I'm happy with this person and that's that. So I never really labeled myself bisexual ever. Yeah.

For me, I wouldn't care at all. Like, I don't, the labels, who gives a fuck, like, whatever. Why do you even care what other people do in their lives, their personal lives at all? For me, I think if I was dating somebody that dated both, I would just be like, there's so many more people for you to, like, cheat on me with. Or like, whatever. Like, I'd be like, do you think they're hot or what about that? What, like, the whole world you can, like, go that way.

I think I would just get in my head a little bit. For me, it doesn't matter what gender you are, long as you emotionally unavailable, That's my shit. Okay. That's my type. As long as you are dead inside. Oh, that makes me so moist. Wait, is that your girlfriend?

Is she not emotional? You know what? Right now, in the beginning, I was like, oh, my God, there's so much emotion. But yeah, she's a little very similar to me in the sense of like, yeah, we've been through a lot. And so it just takes a lot for us. Yeah. We've been through a lot just individually. So after a while, she's from Detroit.

It's just you go through so much that things don't hit you. you the same. Yeah. So it's not that you dead inside. It's just that your emotions are very choosy, very picky when they want to come out. Okay. Was she, um, had only been with women before. Was she a lesbian? Or was she kind of dabbling in both like you? She, she's hooked up with a dude before, but she's, she's all the way full time grade A lesbian. Okay. And I'm, if you don't mind me asking, like, where you come from, where you grab it, or where she came from, or both, do you think it was socially acceptable to be a, lesbian, I mean, parts of the country where it just isn't.

No, no. Definitely, like, it took her some time to come out and then she came out and there was kind of like she moved, like she, she was home and then she moved away because it was just like, yeah, this is not, this is not going to be accepted the way you would like it to be. And I was at a point in my age where I could do whatever fuck I want. Like, long as I don't ask my family for money, they don't care who I'm with. Yeah. I was at the age where it's just like, As long as you don't want anything from us, what are we going to do? We can't kick you out of your place. We might not call you the same.

Like, my mother hit me up about, oh, it says that you're in a relationship with a woman, did I do something wrong? And I blocked her. Like, that's how simple it was. Like, some people had to come out and then live in their parents' place and stuff. I had the privilege to just, I'm blocking you. Like, you're not down with what I'm doing. Bye.

Right. We're not speaking until you're on board. You know? Are you speaking now? Or is that kind of... Me and Ramona? It's so messy. Like, you just... Would you get messy between you and your mom before? Before. It was messy before that. And so you didn't think you were walking into this conversation with a person that was already super accepting and emotionally amazing to you?

No. Absolutely not. Yeah. So you felt like it was a little bit like self-preservation just being like, hey, if you're not cool with this, we don't have to talk. And like, you didn't need to have a further conversation. Well, the thing in, I feel like especially in this time of age, it's just like everybody is like, oh, you want to be family oriented. You need your family, blah, blah, blah. Everything is, every holiday is so hard because everybody's pushing down your throat. Like you should love your family.

You should be with your family. You need family. It's just like you can make a family with whoever you want. It doesn't necessarily have to be the people that are related to you. I totally agree. And so if somebody in your family is not down with your sexuality, or whatever you connect with, they don't need to be in your life.

Like, I'm not stressing myself. I'm not going to get more gray hairs because X, Y, and Z is not on board with the way I'm living my life. Right. You know? I like that message. And I think a lot of people

probably need to hear that message. You know, work on it. Of course, try to strengthen those relationships. Yeah, it doesn't just throw away your family. Right. Yeah, that's what you're saying. You don't accept me for who I am. Like, let me know when you do.

Since I don't, I don't throw my family away, but they definitely in the recycling bin, you know? somebody else can use them just not me I know I ain't shit for that but whatever you know like I'm not stressing myself out I just yeah absolutely also over the course of knowing another person whether it's your mother or not over three or four decades you're going to have highs and lows and like my mom and I have gone through ballots where we haven't spoken to each other for long periods of time and I sort of was the same way I

sort of was like, until you learn to behave yourself, you don't need to really be in my life. And we've gotten past it, thank God. But yeah, not everybody is going to be like on the same page as you, I guess, always. So it's okay to sort of feel all right right now with the recycling bin. Yes. And the good thing about... Family's up for grabs if you need one. Right.

You can borrow my mom. And the good thing about the recycling bin, if you won't throw your recycling away enough, like it might still just be there. So it's fine. I'm okay with where I'm at, especially with my family and just coming out. I think that, again, I'm super privileged just because I came out later in life and I've already was making money and I wasn't really asking anybody for any help. So anybody who wasn't on board with what I was doing is just like, okay, well, I'll talk

to you when you get some damn sense, you know? But that's so true. Like if you are at a place where you're younger and you like still rely on your family and they don't support your lifestyle, that's tough. I don't really know what even advice to give. Now I sound like I got my shit together. Listen, I want y'all to know that I'm a designer bag with a whole bunch of mess in it. Like I am one of those people that look really good.

And then you look at my bag and you're like, is that a half-eaten Twinkie from two years ago? Like, that is me. So don't. I sound like I got it together. I definitely don't. I don't want anybody to think anything other than that. Nobody has it together. Everybody's got a half-eaten Twinkie bag from 2016 in their purse, okay?

everyone. Okay. If anybody's out here being like, no, I don't have any shit. My whole bag is beautiful. You'll trust him. You'll trust him. Lies. I want to ask you a question. I've wanted to ask a guest for so long. And so I'm so glad you're here. So one of my best friends is a lesbian. She's married to another female for a long time. She's a big fan of the show. And she says to me, like, I love listening to the show, but I can't relate to a lot of the stuff you guys talk to, talk about, because I've never dealt with the shit that men do. And it just doesn't exist in women on women relationships. So do you think that that is accurate? Like, how has it been different for you to date a woman versus a man emotionally? Well, I just so happen to be blessed that my girlfriend is not a fuckboy. My girlfriend is very, I'm going to put everything on the table.

It's all about emotions. It's a TED talk. We chat. And so there's never not, there's never a situation where I, don't know what she's thinking or feeling. And I think that's the difference between women and men, like being in relationships with them. Men, you're always wondering.

That's why Carrie was always, I can't help but wonder. Yeah, bitch, because you're dating a dude. You don't know what the fuck he's thinking about because they don't tell you. Right. They'll give you hints about what they might be thinking or how they're feeling. Maybe. Maybe. But even if a man is 45 years old, you're still going to be like,

yeah, so we've been together for a minute and I still don't. know enough. Sometimes, sometimes I think we give them too much credit. Like, they don't know what they're thinking. Yeah. Like when you ask a man, like, if you have a woman, what are you thinking? She's thinking something. If she says nothing, she's lying.

A man, I think his brain could just be not working. Like, when a man says nothing, I think he's for real. Like, I think when you're like, what are you thinking about, babe? And he says nothing. He's honestly telling you the truth. Nothing's going on up there. He might just have to fart. And that's what he's thinking about.

Zero brainwaves. Nothing. Yeah. There's a movie. there's that movie like, what do men want? It's like sometimes absolutely nothing. Nothing. Like you watch brain waves.

I feel like women's like, like it's up. It's like, I don't know. Men looks like a flat line. Yes, it's a flat line. I think like just I'm sending that message out right now, ladies, if you ask your man like what are you thinking and he says nothing? He might.

It might be the truth. Literally. But yeah, Rayna, you're right. He's like, oh, I don't know. I got to poop. Like that's not that deep for them. But I think also like we get a lot of emails and messages from women saying, like, I got super blindsided.

He walked home one day and just said, like, I'm not going to marry or I'm not going to be with you anymore for five years. I had no signs of this happening. I don't, I mean, I'm not a man, but like, we don't hear this from men very often. And the woman came home and said a thing and they just had no idea that you were upset about stuff, you know? Because you know where you stand, right? Like, do you feel like you always know how your girlfriend feels for the most part? Yes.

Right. Yes. If she's not texting or email in or putting a. status up or just outright telling me, I fucking know. And will you just be like what's going on? And well, sometimes I ask what's going on just to be considerate, but it's like, I already fucking know. I already know the answer.

It's just like, I didn't wash the dishes. You know, I didn't do what the fuck I had to do in the house. That's why she's going up and down the damn hallway looking crazy because she's mad at me because I don't do all the chores I'm supposed to do. But I just think being with women is a lot of communication. Yeah. It's all. And also, we are very intuitive. Like, we know, even if you don't say anything, I could feel what you're feeling.

Right. It's like we, it's kind of like we were born together. I don't know. It's strange. It's so accurate. You know, and you know what you did. I love that you said that. Like, I feel like if Raina was like throwing me shade for some reason, I'd be like, I know why. You know, like, I would like know what you did. I feel like that's so true. That's such a good call. But we're also complicated. So you could be mad at one thing. But then all of a sudden, it flip in the next five minutes and you're mad about something else. And then you're trying to string the two together and it's like, no, no, no, no, you're

mad about something that happened last year that you didn't say anything about and now you're bringing it to the head right now. Right. But I think like with men, like you have to ask them what's going on and then finally they tell you what's wrong, but also they don't know how to fix it. I think like women are fixers. We just want to find we're a very solution-oriented people. and I don't think men are like that.

I think they are like that in terms of like business, but I don't know if they're like that in relationships. Well, I just think they have a harder time working through their own feelings and shit. So I think women are just better at that. Yeah. You know, like men, that's why we say that a man might blindside you with a breakup because he's been feeling this way for months,

but he hasn't been able to vocalize it or figure it out because they're not wired like that. And so I don't think it's so deceitful when they break up with you out of nowhere. I think that they just don't know how to talk through shit. You're right. You're right. I think it's a lot of times when women say like he broke up with me before a birthday, a trip, a wedding.

That's when men finally get that aha moment of like, oh, I don't want to do this. And I think I can identify it now. But the thing with women is that we don't want to do shit and we'll still do it. Like no matter. Like we'll stay in relationships. We'll have kids. We'll do things we just don't want to do because we're such giving people.

we're selfless. I feel like women are so selfless at the end of everything. It's just we're always trying to find a way to help someone else or put someone else before us. And I think that's why this is weird to say, but like lesbian relationships will just last so much longer because we're like, well, if we just wait until this many months, then we could get over this hump. And this is why women, I don't think break up enough with dudes. I think it's the other way around. And if they do, they're done. Because they put in the work.

Like, if a woman breaks up with you, she has tried so hard to make that work. Yes. You're done. Don't even try. Or you fucked up and cheated or whatever it is. But I love that you said that. I also, do you think part of it's just that men need to like fuck somebody new?

And women are like, I'm good. I'm happy in this relationship where men are like, I don't know, but then there's this like, hot 22 year old chick at work. So I got a fucker. It's just like, I think sex is fantastic. I think it's a beautiful situation, but I think people need to stop gassing it up for more than what it is. It's a physical activity that you do when you have some time. You might come.

You might not. It gets sweaty. You're having a good time for how long. I don't know. Maybe 20 minutes. Is that enough to build a relationship on it? No, girl with you. Hello up a whole relationship.

Right. Like, is that enough to be like, this is going to last me for a year? No. So, but you think like a woman. Men don't know. Men are like, no, I got to stick my dick in this pussy.

Right. And ruin my life. That's 20 minutes that I need to get in. Like, they don't think about the consequences. That's what, this is just hammering the point home. Yeah.

We're so much better at figuring this out and like knowing how things work and the consequences and how to make relationships work. But I don't want to act like, I see, I don't want to generalize, but I don't want to say like women

don't cheat because they do. For sure. When you were in relationships with men versus women, And is there, were you more frightened of being cheated on by one? Or if you were ever frightened at all. Now, let me tell you, I didn't pick up a lot of relationships out of a trash can. So if I thought that they were going to cheat is because I knew this person wasn't shit.

Right. I'm literally scooping up the dog shit and bring it home and be like, I think you're going to be with me for a long time. Tracking it through the house. Like, you know what? I'm going to clean up the shit. And maybe it'll be a person. It's just like, no, this is a dog shit. I knew.

You knew that. Like, don't put in a dog shit in a button down and think that, oh, I can make a husband out of this. Like, that's not what it is. It's shit. Leave it there on the floor. Maybe somebody else will step on it and you keep it moving. Put it in the traffic with your family.

Yeah. No, yeah, exactly. No, I was out there recycling dog shit. Anyway, so I just feel like if you are an insecure person, right, you're going to get in a relationship and feel that way anyway. You're going to feel like I'm not enough. I'm worried that somebody's going to cheat on me anyway. But living in New York, I mean, it's like 10 times worse because it's like you see

what's out there. You're like, women are out here shaving their legs, they're assholes, they put new faces on, they got somebody else's hair on top of their head. You know what women give. So yeah, you're stressed out when you're dating a dude because you're like, oh, my God, there's so many options out here. But I'm with a woman and I'm like, she bad. I'm bad. We both look good. It's just like, what else? I'm not, I'm not stressed looking at other

women and be like, oh my God, my girlfriend's going to leave me for another woman. It's like, nobody looked like me. That's such a good call. I'm just confident. I'm more confident in a relationship. I was like, who look like me? Like, we all look good. So what's that? What else? You need more than just somebody who's physically attractive. For sure. Well, and I want to talk about you mentioned something about your relationship being a little bit open. But before that, I want to ask you, you have a very funny bit about what it takes for a woman to come. It is so funny. The breeze has to hit just right.

Yeah, it's just like I think orgasm, like where I am right now sexually, I'm at a block. I'm not even going to lie to y'all. It's real bleak. It's sad. I can't, like, I know that my clit works. I know that I can come. But mentally, I'm just not fucking there. I've been dealing with like depression and anxiety and all this stuff.

And it's like, I know that I can orgasm, but my mind is not in it. So it's all fucked up. And I think that it's genuinely about like women and sex. Totally. Sometimes guys can't do it right because they just don't know what they're doing. But we're also not mentally set up to like have a full beautiful orgasm the way men can. You know, they can literally. I just love that you said this.

We talked about this on our set. We had a sex therapist on. He was like, the things that have to happen in a woman's brain for her to orgasm are so wildly different than a man's brain. Men are just like, this feels good. Come, you know, and women, like, you're dealing with other shit. You said men can be, like you said, men can be like homeless and bankrupt. They'll come.

Yeah. They can, like, they can not know where their next meal's coming from or where they're going to sleep tonight. They can come. Not women. Absolutely not. But anyway, so I'm glad that you're being open about this. Yes, I need like a little bit of light in the room.

Like enough for, I'm like, oh, I can escape, but not so much light that I'm like, oh, I can see your whole body. I don't need all that. I just need to be able to get to fuck out the room or go to the bathroom when I need to. But I'm real particular about how everything is in a bedroom for me to orgasm. It's so hard.

But I'm thinking about when I was with dudes and it's just like, I was not coming. I just wasn't. Really? I was thinking that I was having an orgasm and I'm like, I was not. I was having emotionally and physically great time with this person. Yeah. But I know what it is to like,

like have mind-blowing incredible sex slash orgasms. We know what that is. And what you have it is just like, oh, fuck, we didn't open Pandora's box. And now it's like, what was I doing all those years? Yeah. I mean, that's just being a woman, I think. You like have tons of mediocre sex until someone shows you what it's really about. And then that's your change forever.

I think when women finally have that, that orgasm that they never had before, they get up on these documentaries and like, yeah, she just killed everybody. It's like, yeah, this person, this is a person that made her come out her fucking asshole. And now this person wants to leave her for some secretary. Yes, she's burning everything up. Hell yeah. And rightfully so. Every time you see a female arsenic, it's because a man cheated on her.

Yeah. He made her come. It's not just any man. Right. That guy. It's a man who actually got it right. Yeah. And now he wants to.

leave. So is this kind of what you're dealing with now with kind of like how you're feeling and sex and anxiety and things like that have played into some like recent decisions in your relationship? Yeah, yeah. Me and my girl were like kind of open and it's one of those situations where you hear your friend says, oh, that person, those people are open.

Not me. That couldn't be me. And now I'm the person to say, yeah, bitch, it might be y'all. You never know. You can't just not have it on the table. Because, yeah, we have this bond. We love each other. We want to be in a relationship.

I want to marry her. But physically, I'm not giving her what she wants. I can't just keep her hostage. I got to let her play if she want to play. Yeah. I'm not out here playing, but I want her to feel good and then come home. And then maybe she won't be that upset that I didn't clean the house. Listen, you can't be not cleaning the house and not making somebody come.

That's where men get it all fucked up. It's like, so wait, so, sir, you're just not going to, you're not going to work out. You're not going to look good. And then you're going to not fucking clean the house and not make a bitch come. Oh, hell no, you got to die today. That's not happening. Thank you. Like, I feel like, pitch and.

Yeah, you have to. It's just like, but a guy who's like blowing somebody's back out and making you come, they're not doing the rest of the stuff because they're like, oh, I already know what I'm putting down in the bedroom. They're just not going to put any effort. But I just feel like some guys are like, well, I know. I know that I suck at a lot of things. So I got to clean the house. I got to clean house.

I got to pay for her. I got to pay for something. You got to get lobster at least three times this year, you know? So how did this happen? Like I'm very intrigued by this. Like, did you just come to a realization? Like, I feel like I can't give you what you need right now. So let's talk about being open.

Therapy. What are the road to this? Oh, therapy. The road to it. The road to this is therapy. One, my therapist had Tom's on. So you already know the shit was crazy. Like my therapy session was like, well, have your foot is not in your shoe.

So how am I going to unpack the stuff that I have? But we did. And I got to the point where it's just like I have to be honest with myself and just know I'm not in a place to physically give anybody what they want. I know that I'm not that great in bed right now. And I have to allow my partner if I really, really truly love her the way I do and feel safe the way I think that I do. I should allow her to be out there. And then she'll realize, hey, man, these people ain't shit either. You should come home and just cuddle with me.

You know, hopefully. If not, then we weren't supposed to be together like that anyway. But I should at least give her the option. Yeah. Well, you guys, I'm sure a lot of couples, straight or gay, suffer from this. We're like, one person doesn't want to have sex anymore for a prolonged period. Were you guys having fights a lot about it? Yeah, yeah.

We were arguing about it. And it was just like always in the back of my head. and even before therapy. But I will say two years into the relationship, we were talking about people being open and seeing other people and stuff. We had the conversation. So it's not like all of a sudden

we're like, oh, we're going to be open. It was always on the table. So I just have to be okay with myself knowing that, hey, you know, she going to have a hot girl summer and let her. You know, I have to put my ego aside and say, hey, I know that our love is strong enough that like whatever she's looking outside is just physical.

But she might meet a bitch who clean the house like spick and span and make her calm. And she might leave me. And I might have to be like, you know what? You're right. But what you said is true. If that happens that you weren't supposed to get married or be together. I mean, I think it's like a hard pill to swallow. I think what you're doing is obviously is so great.

And people have this thing of like, I could never do that. I can never do that. It's like, you never know. You never know. You never know what could happen in your relationship. And also, you're just taking your ego out of it. It's real brave. It's real. It's real work. It is. Like I think. See your face. You're like, I could not. That's not how I feel. I'm not judging you at all. I think it's really, really brave to take your ego away from it and say, I love you and I want to make this work no matter what. So if you want to physically be with another person, I can sacrifice my ego for that. And like, I don't think a lot of people could do that. I think that it's awesome if you can. That's really, like, that's love for another person. Yeah. You know?

And I don't, I'm not against like the, like, Polly relationships. But I just think, like, how could you have that much time and just the mental space to be with that many people? Like, I have too much going on a lot of time to do more than just be with my girlfriend. Even I have less friends than I've ever had because I just don't have the space to do it. Yeah. To listen. That's what's crazy about relationships is that you have to listen to somebody else every day. Right.

Fuck out of here. That sounds awful. Like, I have to hear about what you want, what you're not getting. I have to hear about you and your friends. Like, that's just a lot of listening to you.

How do these men have these have two girlfriends? I don't know. They're not listening. Right. How do you, it's just so wild to me. How do you have the girlfriend and then the side piece and just so you can have two different Pussies. I don't understand. It's exhausting. It's exhausting. So do you guys have, what are the conversation

look like? Did you guys have boundaries you set up? You can go on dates. You can't go on actual dates. Are you interested in doing it at all? No, I'm not. I'm not interested in any of that. Right. You don't know the time. No, I just, I'm busy and booked and blessed and broke. So I just can't, I can't go out there and do what my girlfriend's doing. Because if I had to pay for somebody else's date, girl, child, it would not work. I would immediately be like, I am very dry and I cannot. So it's a financial decision. Is it me pulling out my card on a date is, we friends. We must be friends.

Like, are you somebody, are you, I'm a mentor? Like, I can't imagine me being on a date right now and pulling my card out. So I'm terrible. I'm old-fashioned. Is she dating? She is. She is dating. But nothing crazy.

Like I've asked, I'm like, have y'all hooked up? And she's just like, no, we've kissed. And I guess that's why I'm in an okay place because I'm like, well, they didn't hook up yet. But does it, like, when you just said that, I feel like I was taking a bullet. Like, have you had to kind of like psych yourself up to hear these details? I don't, I think if I ever did this, I might be the like, I don't want to know nothing. Yeah, but I didn't know. You need to know. Do you? I think you need to know. I think being in the dark is, is literally playing yourself. But had you, when you, when you were like, have you hooked up, were you,

like, did you have to brace yourself for the answer? I did. I did brace myself. I did. I did brace myself. I'm not a G like that. I was definitely like, I'm about to cry. And then she was like, no. And then she said no and I was like, whoa, girl, I feel so much better. But I actually, I'm ready to hear that you hooked up so I could stop having this anxiety about not knowing. Okay. You know what I mean? And I don't expect her to tell me we've hooked up. I feel like I need to ask. You do. Yeah. I think in relationships, you need to ask. You can't just assume. Well, I think that's, that's nice because she doesn't know what you want to know and don't know. So you should be the one asking instead of her coming home. Hey, guess what? Buzz, buzz. This just

happened. Yeah, that's rude. It's rude. I'm here eating my chicken Tetrazini and all of a sudden you fucking come in like, so you know what? You're a chef too? Chicken Tetrisin. I haven't heard that in a minute. I heard it on Mori and I was like, I absolutely, Paul love it. You guys got to watch the video.

It says, look up Mori, chicken tetrazini and it's a great. It's a whole thing and you will fall in love and chicken tetrazini actually tastes disgusting, but it just is fun to say. You're like a chef. She's out like on some shitty-ass date and you're like Mario Battali and all. Yeah.

Exactly. But like without the rape and stuff like that. Oh, geez. All right. What a dog. We can leave it in. I stand by it. What a dog.

But yeah, I don't, don't mess up my meal or my good time or my show and then come in and be like, yeah, you know, just busted 12 nuts. Like, I don't want to hear that. Right. No. I'm going to ask because then it's on my time. Yeah. Okay. Do you, are you comfortable talking about sex and stuff?

Yeah. Okay. I always want to know. what lesbian sex looks like. Do you know you wanted to ask? I've had lesbian sex. I know what it looks like. I don't know.

Are you sure you had lesbian sex? Like you have sex with another woman or you had lesbian sex? Well, I had sex with two separate times with other people that, yes, identify. But I don't know. I want to know what's that. Okay, tell me what the difference is. I don't know. Because I feel like scissoring's not a thing.

Okay. Every time I hear scissoring, it literally boils my brain. Good. My brain is literally a soup because I'm just, I'm glad you're saying this. I was like, we are not creating arts and crafts when we're fucking. Stop it. You obviously was a man who was like scissoring. It's like, oh, two legs together. It's just foolish. Like, nobody. Let's cancel it right now. It's official. It's lesbian sex is when you have both your eyes open the whole time when you have a physical activity. Your eyes are open.

There's none of that. Okay, let me just, I'm closing my eyes and I don't know what's going. Lesbians are deeply looking full eye contact for everything. But what are you guys doing? Okay, we're doing all the movements that heterosexual people do, but we have a strap on. Okay, okay. That turns me on so much. Well, I mean, everybody's different, right? Not everybody uses a strap on.

But if you don't have to have a strap on, but we're like, you know, we know what it is to, we know the pressure points and the places that need to be touched. Okay. And so it's none of that, you know, let's figure it out. we know what we doing. Right. But will you, if you guys go down

on each other, will you, will that be considered sex? I wouldn't say that sex. Okay. I would say going down is going down. Do you feel like that's more intimate? All of it is a lot.

Anything that has like bodily fluid is, I should know your last name. That's how I feel. It's just like you're all over me. I'm all over you. It's a lot. But I'm wondering like if you're, is there something.

This is like a way too personal question. No, no, no, no. As far as your girlfriend doing that with somebody else? Is there something that you would be like, oh, God, that hurts to hear. Yeah, I am thinking about it. And I'm like, damn, man, it's just like some of my secretions on her face.

That's a lot. I mean, I have to accept it. I just have to know that that is just a physical thing. But there's the, this is the thing. I feel like men can hook up and take their emotions out of it. And I think women, unless you, unless you were, I don't know, grade A, you only know this is sex kind of person. I just think that women are always emotionally attached to the people

it's science they hook up with. Absolutely. It's the way we're wired and the whatever, like the love drive. They're just shittier than women. I don't know, my first boyfriend in New York, we're together for a while. He cheated on me all the time. But I'm sure, I guarantee you, he, in his mind, he thought, I have this girlfriend, I treat her well, I do nice things for her.

I admire things. I'm a good partner to her. I'm a good friend to her. Who cares if I fuck other girls sometimes? Yeah. I guarantee that's what he thought. I don't think there's a lot of women and I don't want to put all women into a bucket

but I don't think there's a lot of women to do that. I'm sure there are some women, actually some women are serial killers but it's not common. No, it's not. Yeah. Because we care too much. I feel like a woman serial killer will kill the person and then

put a pillow underneath their head, fucking dress them up, just like let me just put this blanket like nicely, they'll take care of the funeral. They'll pay for the funeral. Like you said a meat platter. I'm like, oh, me, and she's weight for the dead body. They'll host the wake.

Sub ring. Sorry, guys, I killed these people, but, you know, I'm going to cover the expensive. Yeah, don't worry. It's just, yeah, we're just wired differently, I think. Yeah, and it is true for me because there were so many dudes that I did not fucking like. And so soon as we had sex, it was like, I care about what he wants. Yes. And where is he?

And I guess I'll text a little bit more. Yeah. Yeah. That's just what happens. Yeah. But it should. And there's nothing wrong. I think women are like, I don't know how to stop acting crazy like this.

There's nothing wrong with you if you let somebody penetrate your body. And then all of a sudden you have some kind of feelings for them. You should. That person has shared a deep emotional thing with you. Yeah. It's inside of you. Yes. Yeah.

But then we have to be honest about like we need to stop putting so much importance in sex. I blame alcohol for a lot of the fake emotions that we have. have or the fake experiences that we think that we thought we have, you need to be so all the way, so you don't have all the way, like the lights all the way on. You need to have sex in the daytime and realize how trash it is. I did all the wrong things. I did everything wrong. Strip, I love this take. This is amazing. Make sure the first time having sex is the worst possible experience. So you take it down off the pedestal. Yeah, strip it down to what the bare essential, what sex is. and then get to, then you can move forward and be like, okay, I'm never going to think that it's

bigger than what it is. It's not all that. I'm not going to wait four months to have somebody have my sex. I'm just going to go when I'm ready to get, but I'm not going to make, well, if I wait three months, then this guy or this woman is going to take me more serious. This is like, no. Well, we always say that waiting does not guarantee that somebody is going to stay with you. Withholding sex won't make somebody stay with you.

You ever been in a line for like some food or a movie? And you're just like, oh, yes, I can't wait to get to the, to the, I can't wait to get to the, I can't wait to get it. And then you get it. You're like, yo, I didn't wait it in fucking an hour for this. I waited online for this burger, this impossible burger. Impossible. Impossible that I waited online for this fucking trash ass burger. That's so true. What is the difference sexually? I'm sure every single person on this planet is different.

But when you sleep with a man and a woman, do you think that women are better just generally getting you off because they have the same body as you? Or do you think everybody has a different playground and it's one size fits one? First time I hooked up with my girlfriend, I cried. Like, that's how intense it was. Wow. Yeah. And she played like,

I'm going to cry. She played like James Blake or something like that or Sam Smith, one of them sad ass white guys. A white guy singing in a background while you're having sex. Sam Smith? I'm not to cry right now. Bodies your sexual relationship with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pretty much. Put on Sam Smith. I'll cry fucking anybody. Yeah, so I cry. I'll cry masturbating. I just want to. take your time. That's on to stay.

I'll cry. I'm crying right now. That's basically what happened. Yeah, it was just, it was crazy. She knew. Okay. No, the first time we like fooled around or hooked up, I mean, I was wrong. I didn't know exactly what I was doing.

She is the pro at this. So she was trying to show me what to do. She's like a really great teacher. And then the next time we fully hooked up, it was just like, wow, I was doing it wrong the whole time. Oh, are you doing wrong? Oh, I'm so curious. Finger placement, rhythm, just, you know, I wanted all the lights off.

It's just like, you can't see where anything is. Like, you could feel where it is, but you don't know. You're like, you need to look at it. Uh-huh. Wow. Yeah, it was kind of like when Samantha was hooking up in Sex and the City, when Samantha hooked up with that other woman. Oh, Maria.

Yeah, Maria. Yeah, Maria, when the lights were on and she was just showing her everything. She was like giving her. or gynecologist appointment with her vulva. It was a lot. Yeah. That's pretty much what happened with me and my girlfriend and sex. Were you guys together ever since?

Was there any, like, gray area? Were you like, we're together now? No, I knew. I knew that this was like it. I think I moved in literally the week after. Isn't that the stereotype? It's stupid, but it's real. Day three, they show over to you all.

Yeah. But the thing is, is that women would move in with a man, like four days after as well, If he would have it. If he would have it. It's not unheard of it. And dudes do do that. Dudes will fucking just move they shit into your late.

That is so true. And you didn't even know that y'all were to, oh, I didn't even know we were that serious. But now I see your garbage bag in the corner of my bedroom. A skateboard is just out. Oh, I guess wherever you lay your skateboard is, that's your home. Your DJ equipment. Yeah. Oh, didn't even know.

They don't even ask. Oh, my God. They just quietly start, well, loudly start bringing these. stuff over and you're like, oh, a lot of dirty socks, I guess, we're married now. All of a sudden, it's like, how'd you get out of this lease, bitch? Throwing the lease. They're on the lease because they were like, cool with the soup. Right.

They're like, I called the landlord. Don't worry about it. He's talking to the landlord. He's like, well, it's a surprise. I didn't want to like make a big day. This man, you know, this man can't even like make a dinner reservation, but he somehow got his ass on the least. You're like, oh, you were able to do something, right?

Yeah, cool, because it's super stupid. He's like, it's a surprise. Because that's what other men tell men, oh, women love surprises. So if we make it a surprise, then like we don't need to talk to her about it. Surprise I live here. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, surprise.

And that's why I think those, when people propose it's supposed to be surprised, I think we need to stop that shit. Yeah. Like we need to stop making it like, oh, all of a sudden we're getting married. When that woman has been talking about that fucking ring for over. a year. Right. I don't like the videos of proposals because it makes everybody think like, oh, she knew nothing

about it. She knew the whole fucking time. She picked that ring out with 12 other friends. Sometimes, yeah. She knew it was about to come. She just didn't know what day. It's 2019. You should as a female at least be given the opportunity to say, I think I'm ready now.

Yeah. And no within the next month or two, it's happening. Yeah. Like, stop it. Like, nobody, I don't know anybody who's gotten engaged and they didn't talk. about it so many fucking times. Right. Yeah. I mean, so I think some people want to be totally fully surprised. But yeah, I mean, that's kind of. Who is that cycle that just all of a sudden wants a ring that's over 20 grand on their ring on their finger and they don't even know.

Surprise. We're spending the rest of the life together. If you're on the spot, you're like, shit, I guess I got to say yes. Yeah, I don't want to fucking surprise. Let me get a freaking manicure before you propose to me. And now this is on my tells from the Crip finger. Oh, girl. I need to know. You got to know it's coming. I was caring. I was caring. and nail polish around for two months when I knew it was coming. I sat at the bar at the restaurant and painted my nails right after he gave me the ring. Yeah. He used to be engaged.

Oh, I didn't know that. Literally sat at the bar and paid my nails. I didn't know that. Got to be ready. It's before Instagram though. Yes. Yeah, stay ready. But before Instagram, even still, I just, wait, what are we doing?

Right. I want to know because who knows what I'm going to look like. Yeah, I might have some eye liner on, but I want to be ready. If you won't surprise me with 30 of my closest friends and family. have a ball gown on. Yeah, I want to know. I don't really, I've kind of walked back my decision to get married. I don't really think I want that. I find that we not doing it. Traditional weddings like kind of cringy now. But I, I mean, I still could. I'm not anti, but I think they, just to let you know, Raina, I would love to be proposed to like after, after a show, after a show, after a show, after a show, after a show, after a show, after a show, like after a show, after a

energy's up. I'm all like glammed up. Like one of our big like theater shows. Okay, do you want it to be before or after the meeting? You know, I want a flash mob to Beyonce's end of time. Do you know this? No, you don't. You do not.

Oh, you need to break up with her right now. Wait, that is a, that's a deep cut. No one even cares about that song. It's just, that's a lot for you. What if it's a bad show? Okay, you want to be after. What if it's a bad show? That's what I was.

Right. In my head, I'm like, I've had some bad show. What if I bomb? And then you propose me. I'm like, I was upset. right. She's like, I didn't have her bomb. What are you saying?

Our shows are different. They're not like stand-up shows. This will be great. You guys are not involved. That's true. When have you guys ever bombed show? Yeah, like, Brina, what you're going to do, I just want to have this on the record. Like, you're going to be like, we're about to end the show, however we planned.

And then you're like, we're going to wrap the show with it. I love this. And then you're going to be like, oh, wait, I have one more surprise. And then I'm going to hear the beginning of end of time. Dun, dun, dun, dun, and then all the dancers will come out. And then, like, they'll kind of do the choreography. You'll kind of push me up to the side. I'll realize it's happening.

Okay. And then he'll come out and do the proposal. People will go crazy. This is great. Why don't we just do this in all of our shows? I think, why don't we just end every show? We've been trying to think, like, of cool, fun things for the end of the show. Why don't we just do this?

People are going to be like, oh, Ashley isn't going to get married yet she has her entire. She's like, right? She's like, Ray and I just want this on the record just in case. Sydney is on her phone. So sorry. I'm not here. She is so against this. I tapped out.

I was like, girl, what's going on? You don't know. Let's wrap up the game with you. She really was on her boat. Am I the worst guess? I love that. I love that you were like, I don't give a fuck about this. That was hilarious.

She's like, I take back saying you guys are good hosts. No, no, no, no. I said Beyonce at a time she goes, mm-mm. Oh, that's when I definitely tapped out. I said, Beyonce anything at a wedding is like, do not be cliche. No, this is a proposal. No, not proposing. I mean, I don't want Beyonce touching anything that has anything to do with my relationship.

I love her down. I'm a stand, but I don't want her. You don't want her in your relationship. Or she is not the epitome of like what love on top is. You want Sam Smith. Yes. Yeah. I want a white man like, oh, he's at the end of everything.

I want a white man that's like he might be at a bridge about to jump singing. That's the type of music I want. Am I? Yes. All right. Well, this is a perfect set way. The Smith. Have you heard dismiss?

Yeah. Oh, man. Sad as fuck. Depression. Not email. Yeah, ooh, I love that. That's what I want at my proposal and at my wedding. Bonnie Bear. Ooh.

Oh, please. Can you tell all my friends? Because I feel like they don't know this about me. We'll tell them, Marie. Okay. Thank you. She doesn't know, but I've definitely spoken about it. She's going to be like, that's a lie.

She's like, that's not happening, not if I'm there. We have it on the record. Yeah, she's like, don't start playing the music and she'll like, cut, cut, cut, and then she'll put her Spotify on. I love that you really went on the record that you don't want to get married, but here's my very elaborate proposal plan. Yes, yes. I picked out the music

where I'm going to be on stage, which segment? You have to coordinate. I've had that song forever. That's like the very first, when that song came out, Todra called did a flash mob in Target. It was like a big thing that went viral.

And ever since I was like, I love this song so much. I want to get proposed. I want a flash mob to. I don't exactly flash mob because it won't be in the public. They will be like hired dancers like we do at our shows. Cindy's got her phone out again.

This is no, I don't. They're lying. She's lying. But you're choreographing with this. Choreogic. Yeah. It'll be, it's a showender. We have dancers in our shows.

It's not off brand. All right. How am I going to get engaged now? That's what I'm worried about. If one person gets proposed before the other, then it's your, you're not like, we're not competing, but we're competing. She got verified on Instagram two days before me. And like we were, I was in Russia in like a really deep dark place.

I could, I saw that she'd been verified and I couldn't even go on Instagram for days. I texted our PR person and I was like, can you please get me? Ashley's already verified if you could just work on me. It was the most humiliating text message I've ever sent. I can't believe. I never knew about this text till now. Did you ever have anything like this? Do you guys get verified at the same time?

No, we did not. She got verified before me too. And it was a little stress. But she... Thank you for the solidarity on this. It was terrible. They're not the only one that has these conversations like behind closed doors

and now we're talking about it on the pod. For sure. Being verified, not the biggest thing, but it's a big thing. It feels nice. If one person happens to a, friend, it has happened to you yet. Yeah. You're like, well, what's wrong with me? Because, I mean, in this situation, we had a

podcast together, so what's up? Not just a friend. You're co-hosts. Exactly. So why am I not verified? I'm like, what did I do that she didn't do? What happened? Hold on. She got on a show. She got on live. Oh, it was verified. But I was like, oh, I had already had the credits to be verified as well. So I got on, I was like, hello, what's going on? Buzz Buzz. I hit my head up, my agent. I was like, so what's going on with that? Because I had asked. be verified months and months and months ago. For sure. Yeah. And they were like, oh, don't worry. We sent everything in. And then literally right after I talked to her again, it happened. This is very funny. Same story. Yeah. I hadn't

told anybody that. I just was acting like, oh, yeah, I organically got verified. No, bitch. I didn't tell us either. No. We might need to cut this out. No, I'm just kidding. Give it in, give it in. I like being honest that it matters. Like, you, I don't want to be like, it's whatever. I love it. I love that blue check. I'm out here just commenting on everything. Stuff that doesn't even matter. I don't even care about.

I don't even care about. Shitty piece of pizza. Buzz, it's me. Just so you can see my blue check. All right, we got to wrap up and play this game with you. We're just ready to have a blast.

We're just going to do a quick one. We're just going to do fuck Mary Kill. We've been doing this since we started the podcast. We haven't done it in a minute. This is all across the board. We're getting political. We're getting men, women. Don't hold back.

I'm ready. All right. Fuck Mary Kill. Beyonce, Rihanna, Lizzo. I'm a fuck Lizzo. Yes. I would like to do that as well.

With that flute. Yeah. I'm also going to marry Lizzo. Wow. We've never had somebody break the rules like this. Yes, I'm breaking the rules up top, just showing you who I am as a person. And then I am going to kill Rihanna, but I feel like she's going to fight me. So it's going to be like one of those kills that it's like I might, the blood pressure is going to be running crazy because we're

going toe to toe to and she, it's almost going to be like a double-killed situation. Yes. You might die. Everybody we do this with, whenever there's Rihanna, someone always kills Rihanna, I get so, I get so Yeah. But, Beyonce, I'm just going to ignore. I'm not even going to

put her. If you're beefing with Beyonce. I don't I'm not beefing with her. It's just like we already do so much. We get it. We get it, Beyonce. We are beehive. I know. okay. Like, calm down. Right. Fuck Mary Kill. Tristan Thompson. Kanye. Scott Dissick.

Scott Dissick got to die. Absolutely. I got to kill him. No content. I'm annoyed that I've watched the Kardashians too many seasons. But just something about him is just like, first of all, your confidence, boo. But I heard he got dick. Dick down.

Like the reason why Courtney has put up with everything, the dick is crazy. He's the only white guy that gets to fuck them. Yeah. He's the only like. He really is the only one. The dick is damaged and messy, but is. being put down. The dick is peeled up.

How can you say this and not want to fuck him? No. I'm all set. Okay. So I don't need a man who's like too for sure of himself. Okay. Goodbye. All right.

Kel Scott is sick. Um, Justin Thomas. I guess I'm gonna fuck him to see what it's all about. Because anybody who's that reckless is fucking A1. You know, anybody who just don't give no dams is going to be, know that they're that popular and just going to be outwardly that tall. And that's, but he's got face too, so he already knows. Yeah.

I'm telling you, men who are that for sure of themselves, you cannot trust them. He's one of them. But I feel like I'd rather fuck him than Scott. And then I guess you got to kill Kanye. Kill Kanye. He's got to go. Goodbye. No, wait.

No, I said kill Scott. I'm sorry. God, you're a Mary Kanye. Yeah, I'm going to marry Kanye. Oh, you'd be like things would always be interesting. You're like Kim. Yeah. Living that big house with nothing.

in it. He's fun to talk to. I think so too. I enjoy watching them communicate. Yeah, he's talking to Kanye is like being on mushrooms without being on mushrooms. Which, yeah, never have to do drugs again. Yeah, he's going to take you on a ride. You're going to see different colors. Like, you're going to have to Google half the stuff he's talking about. It's great. Keeps it, keeps it entertaining. Never get bored. I like that. Yeah. That's the light way of thinking about. Yeah. Do you want to do this political one?

You want me to just do it since you're laid back. since I'm laid back. All right. Hit us with the politics. All right. We'll just do one more. We'll close it out because, you know, we're coming up an election season. Fuck a Mary Kill.

Beto O'Rourke, Corey Booker, Joe Biden. Well, a friend of a friend hooked up with Corey. Oh, my God. And so I'm going to say, I'm going to fuck Corey. With you on that girl. I'm going to fuck Corey. 100%. But I'm also going to stuff a sock in his mouth because I feel like he had typed a

talk while he fucking boo. You don't like anything like that. I don't want too much. You are so right. I just see it now. I see him being a chatty guy. He's going to do. He's going to do what politicians do.

They're going to over talk and it's like oversell and it's like it's fine. Just shut the fuck up. Like we fucking. It's fine. Yeah. Beto. I'm a marry. I can see that.

Because he got the heart. Big husband energy. Yeah. That's a heart you need in a marriage. Right. I don't know where it is going to go. but I'm going to marry you because I know you got, I know you got it in you to go long,

to go long and that's what we're trying to do. Right. And then we're going to kill the other. Joe Biden. I mean, he's on the way out. He's on the way out. He's on the way out. I don't know.

I might marry him because he's going to die soon. You get all that money. Yeah. That's what it is. That's, you explained it for me. All right. All right. Well, we have loved having you here.

This was so great. Wow. Thank you so much. Did we make this long? This was great. I feel like we didn't want to stop. And that's what you wanted a pod. Absolutely.

The only reason I want to stop is to turn the AC on. Me too. I'm real sweaty. But we want you before you go to plug all your stuff. So where can people find you on Instagram, your shows, any websites, etc.? Hello, verified Sydney, Blue Check Sydney can be caught on all social outlets with the check.

Okay, I'm on Twitter with the check. I'm on Instagram with the check. I think I'm verified on Facebook. If you didn't know that you could be verified on Facebook, baby, I am. I didn't know that either. What? What's the handle?

On Twitter, it's just Sid, NYC, J-U-S-D, NYC. Instagram is just Sid B-W, J-U-S-T, S-Y-D, B-W, because my middle name is Britain, last name, Washington. Hello, you know everything about me now. Still my identity. And then, unfortunately, my website is down because I didn't pay for it. Like, I was just like, fuck you, Squarespace. You not gave my coins this year.

I just had to re-up bars, too. I have to read it up. But I said, you know what? I didn't really do nothing with it for the whole year. Somebody else, I need like a young teen to figure out my website. I haven't done it yet. Okay. Well, if you're listening, young teen.

Hello, young teen. I went teen with heart and still talk to their parents every week because then, you know, they have the money to just, they don't care. They just want to do stuff because they want to do stuff. Right. For exposure. Obviously, because you guys listen to Marie Forston, you got the pod, it got the unofficial expert, where we talk about everything and nothing. So go on our Instagram, Unificial Expert,

and, you know, like that shit and follow us there. And then, you know, I'm in Comedy Central. I'm there full time doing digital stuff. So just check out, check out. And, you know,

I have my show on Sundays at 9 at the Knitting Factory. Which is a great venue, really fun for comedy. It's so fun. It's free. It's ridiculous that it's free, but it is.

You and Marie. Mina Amani, she's another comedian, and another love of our life. Right. Just like... She's talks some real shit. Yeah, she's the Kelly Rollin

into our Destiny's Child. Nobody is a Michelle. Who's the Michelle? There's no Michelle. What's the other girl? Other girl? I think her name is Beyonce. No, there was one before.

Oh, there's too many. There's so many rotating homes. I don't remember anybody else. Yeah, I forget. There's Farrell, Latavia, Latoya. It was so many, but there's no Michelle's in our Destiny's Child. and just love us, love us down.

All right, guys, we'll check her out. And Ashley, you want to take us out before you can find us? Yeah, find us, Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com, Stupid Live Shows.com. Girls Got a podcast on Instagram. Not yet verified, but hopefully soon to be. Girls underscore Gotta Eat on Twitter verified on Twitter. So we don't, and Facebook, you guys, there's a hundred Facebook messages. We've never responded to one.

I'm very sorry. Emails instead. And we'll see you next week. Bye, guys.