Girls Gotta Eat - What's Going On With Men (and Mating) These Days? with Professor Scott Galloway

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

We are honored to be joined by professor and bestselling author Scott Galloway to talk about the current state of men, women, mating, and dating. We discuss the inequality of dating apps (and which gender they are worse for), why people don't "meet at work" like they used to, and where people can actually meet potential partners and fall in love. He educates us on the problem with men and boys in our country today and his thoughts on fixing the issues, and how men and women operate differently when they're single. We also break down the three things women find most attractive in men and discuss the question "Are men intimidated by successful women?" And we chat about women in business, female founders, and how the landscape has improved (but it's still not equal). Before Scott joins us, we are breaking down a recent survey of the most and least attractive male hobbies and debuting our most versatile vibrator yet. Enjoy! Find Scott on Instagram @profgalloway and X @profgalloway, listen to his podcast Pivot, and read his books Algebra of Wealth, Algebra of Happiness, The Four, and Post Corona. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Bilt: Get points by paying rent at https://joinbilt.com/GGE. Zbiotics: Get 15% off at https://zbiotics.com/gge with code GGE.. BiOptimizers: Get 10% off at checkout at https://bioptimizers.com/girlsgottaeat with code GGE. Hand and Stone: Enjoy free aromatherapy with your introductory facial at https://handandstone.com with code GGE or in spa. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where are people supposed to meet and fall in love other than online dating, which is like anything in digital, it's winner take most if not all. This podcast is a dear media production. Hi guys. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Happy Halloween week. I think this week last year was when the whole costume, costume debate happened.

Okay. Do you know another word? People say that's weird. TUR. Tor. Tor. Do you, like, recently, like, notice, I feel like I have recently noticed that people say, you're ter.

You're ter. You're true. I'm like. That's extreme. I don't think I've heard tur. Your tur. How do you hear it? I don't think I've heard someone say ter.

Like, it's just sometimes I'm like, Farina, don't make it a thing. Don't like. Your tur. Who said that? Name them. You notice else somebody, people, I've heard a couple of people say weird is instead of collab, like collaborate. Co-lab.

Co-lab is insane to me. Sometimes you. say co-lab. Fuck, no. Absolutely. You've never heard me say co-lab. It's Rob that does it. Rob does it.

Jeremy does it. I hear it all the time. Co-lab is crazy. That's like a co-lab. That's like a co-lab, like you're co-parenting a lab or something. Or like a co-loat. You joint own a lab. Like, collab, collaboration.

Like just say the whole word and then you shorten it. Right. It's not like collaboration. Yeah. Do you find yourself saying collaboration? Get out of here. Okay. But when you think about it is like your co-.

No. Stop it. I'm an apologist for it. No, because laboration's not a word. It's not a co-thing. It's not like co-parenting. It's not co-lab. Labrate is not a word.

Like you're sharing a lab? No. Anyway, happy Halloween week, you guys. If you came to our shows this weekend, thank you, Portland and Philly. We had so much fun. We love to see how you guys dress up. It's just amazing.

Yes. So we're going to talk about our partners, and then we will reveal what we dressed up as, which I'm sure you already saw somewhere. But if you don't, you know, we're going to tell you what we did. maybe can inspire you to, we still a few days left before actual Halloween. For real Halloween.

All right. Thanks to buy optimizers. Get 10% off at checkout at bioptimizers.com slash girls got to eat with code GGE and Handenstone. Enjoy free aromatherapy with your introductory facial at hand in stone.com with code GGE or in the spa. Yes. And thanks to Bill. Get points by paying rent at joinbilt.com slash GGE and Zbiotics.

Go to Zbiotics. dot com slash gge to get 15% off your first order when you use gge at checkout. Okay. So Halloween. Oh, what we dressed up as. I was like, yeah, it's Halloween. So we did couples costumes. Well, just one. Yeah. Well, but the second one was music related. So it's on theme. On theme. Yeah. So we started the tour in Portland and I've always wanted to do this. I know it's just like it's been done. But Britney Spears, oops, I did it again. I've always wanted to wear just that red all leather latex latex outfit.

Yeah. I just, I love it. It's such an iconic look and I wanted to do it for so many years and something else always comes up. Mm-hmm. And so-hmm. And so-al-it-al-up. I did that.

I got the wig. I got the jumpsuit and all of it. The microphone is like the best part of doing like a Britney is doing that like. It is funny to like have a microphone on your head and be holding a microphone. Yeah. Does she do both? No, but I did both. Oh, okay.

Like I had to be on stage like with a microphone and a headset. Right. Okay. A headset. Like you're in a call center. And then I was Cher, the original share, share, share, and we'll post pictures. I really searched far and wide for the perfect jumpsuit that really was like this silver look that Cher wore and did the long black wig.

And I mean, I had one outfit that I was like, this just isn't good enough. And so I was like on Etsy and everywhere else trying to find like something that really sparkled and really like gave share. It was like the same cut, you know, the crisscross over the titties. So I did share. And then I was like, you know what I'm going to do for Philly is another share. So when you tell me you're going to do two shares. Two shares.

First of all, I thought about doing Sunny. I did. But I didn't think I could wear that mustache on stage the whole time. I like the look. I love that like 1970s. Like just like bell bottom pants with a vest. But like I didn't think I could wear like a mustache. A mustache?

A mustache. A mustache. A coat up for the whole. That would have been funny. I would have started to itch. Yeah. But I like the look. I thought about it.

Yeah. And then share Horowitz from Clueless. Share number two. So we did Sharon Dion from Clueless, which I was share from Clueless a couple years ago, basically because I just found this outfit on Revolve that looked like the yellow plaid, but it wasn't like the official. So I actually did it right this year with the actual outfit, you know, more of like the skirt with the vest. And I think this is one of those things people misremember, like her white backpack. People just think it was like a little baby white leather backpack, but it was furry. or feathery, whatever.

So I had to buy like a white baby backpack from Amazon and then buy like feathers. I like put a like tube top around it. And then I did the white Mary Janes and like the white thigh highs. And when I did it a couple years ago, I didn't actually do everything top to bottom perfectly. It did some hair extensions. And so we're recording this beforehand. But we know what we're wearing so we can speak on it. But I really feel like I did it like perfectly.

It felt really good about it. I bought the whole Dion costume. and I love it. I think it's just like such a fun outfit. I mean, that movie defined my whole life. It's the best movie. You know? It's so iconic looking.

And I'm like very obsessed with like exactly to a T, like get the whole outfit right. And I've never been a Halloween person before. Like before our like tour, Archer. I wasn't that into like themes and costumes. And like the more we've done it, the more I'm like, I love a theme. I love a costume. I want to get it exactly perfect. I want down to the shoes.

I really struggled with the shoes for the Brady Spears outfit. Oh. Because they're these sort of like weird bulky black shoes and they don't actually look good with that outfit.

Like you have like a tight red pant and then this like giant bulky platform shoe where she did wear that. Yeah. But I just, I'm so obsessed with a theme and a costume.

It's my favorite thing in the world and it's weird because like in my younger years I just didn't care. Like you couldn't find me at a Halloween I didn't want to do it. I've always been a slut for Halloween.

Everybody else is? I fucking love it. But we, you know, at this point we hope we had a great time. I'm sure we did a great time with you guys. I did share squared

and Raina did Brittany and Dionne. Thank you guys for coming out. We'll talk more about it next time after post show. So I hope you guys have a great Halloween. We have a new product launch for vibes only. October is a big month for us. Yes. So two weeks ago, we launched the Poppy, which we'll talk with you about later, but do you want to intro the new toy? Okay. So this is the Becca three and one. This may be one of the most high tech, the most high tech toy we have. So when we say three and one, we really mean it. So it gives the original Ashley wand in terms of like color, shape, size, but it's so much different. So you do have your vibrating wand head on one side.

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So that's what it's going to do for you. So when you penetrate yourself with this and turn that part on, again, there are three different controls for the three different parts of the toy. It's going to really give you pleasure. Like you've never experienced before. I mean, this is a toy really unlike any other. Yeah, it took us about a year to conceptualize it. And one of the things that really inspired us is our bestseller, the Raina is a dual-ended vibrator and does two different things.

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has like this amount of surface area, like it's really going to feel so incredible on your body. But then you have this the other end to do the penetrative and get that internal orgasm as well. And like Raina said, like if you've never scored it before, I mean, this is going to get you on that journey. If it's if it's possible for you, this is what's going to do it. And again, you can use our toys anally as well if you're into that. If you're a male, grab this and, you know, come hither in your but we are so excited about it. Yes. So truly a one-of-a-kind toy.

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Yes, at vibes only.com. You can get all of that. So we have Scott Galloway on the show today. Professor, Prof G. For those of you who are longtime fans, as we know a lot of you are. You'll see him in interviews a lot talking about the state of manhood today and what men are like in the world and what dating is like for men and how they're showing up in relationships. So we came across this article and we thought it would be fun thing to talk about before we welcome him to the show. Yeah. He might be like, guys, I don't know. That has nothing to do with me. But we kind of thought it was like a nice tie-in. I mean, this went viral in September in a lot of different places. But it originally came from date psychology. And it was the most and least attractive male hobbies. So it said that they created a forced choice survey of 74 male hobbies. Women can choose if that hobby was unattractive for a man to do or attractive for a man. man to do. And then these are the results. You know me. I'm like, how many women were interviewed? I need to know the validity of the survey. So they surveyed some really funny buckets. So the most attractive hobbies to women and what men think are attractive to women, what is least attractive.

And it made me think like how similar I am to somebody's and how unattracted I am. And there's certain things that I find really attractive, but I would like never do them for a man, but you would never do it? Like extreme sports. Like snowboarding. Like I think that's hot. but like I'm not going to do that with you. Well, that's like I only want a man with tattoos and I have no tattoos. You know, it's like, I need you to have that. I need you to work on cars. I'm not working on cars.

But I'm not even going to go even skiing with you. Oh. Like, I think it's really sexy to have these like extreme outdoor hobbies, but like I don't even like being outdoors. Okay. So like you probably don't have extreme outdoor hobbies unless it's your whole lifestyle. Yeah. In which case you want to be with somebody that's their lifestyle in which you cannot be with me because I don't do any of that stuff. Okay, so let's start with the 15 most attractive hobbies to women.

And before we get into what we just want to say, we love a guy with hobbies, interests, and passions. We find it super sexy when you have a lot going on. We'll probably talk about that more today with Scott. So we never want to like yuck someone's yum. But we just want to talk about these things like a joking way and share our personal opinions on these hobbies. So you guys get that.

First one out of the gate. And it's not it's not athleticism. It's the opposite. It's reading. Reading. It's the thing that you can get the least hurt doing. Maybe you get a paper cut. Have you seen the Instagram account Hot Dude's Reading?

It's like older. But did you ever see that? No, I love that account. Like maybe on the subway reading a book. So at first, this surprised me as the very first hobby. But then I really thought about it. It's like it shows you're intelligent. Like no one reads recreationally that isn't intelligent enough.

Like if you're reading, you're going places. Yeah. Well, okay, but on love is blind. Stephen said he was a Trump supporter and he called Monica a mutt. And then he was like, but I read a book. And she was like, oh my God. Yeah. So number two, which I do really understand is foreign languages. Well, to me that says, you know, that's education. That's intelligence. That's an appetite for the world. But even someone born in a different country, they're just bilingual by their upbringing. Women find it sexy. You know, knowing in other languages is really sexy. Listen, this, this was controversial to me. Playing an interesting. instrument. Number three, 95.4% of women said this is a sexy hobby, playing an instrument. Not if you're bad at it. It's not. We've had some experiences. If you can rip it on a guitar, if you can pick a guitar up and just fucking send it, I guess. But it's just like, I think of a man picking up a guitar. And like, it's like from the Barbie movie, like a quintessential thing is a man

badly playing guitar. Yeah, that guy that I dated that would come to my apartment with his guitar and sing. Yes. I couldn't make eye contact with him when he did. that like I guess it's sexy to see a man on stage. Yeah. That is doing like a good job, good job. But like I don't, it's, I don't care. I don't care one way or the other. So what instrument if you were to pick one?

I think playing piano because I can just sit down. That's what it's piano is so, it will come right now thinking about it. It's just so sexy. That's an activity we can do at home. You can't be playing guitar in the middle of my living room. The piano. And you know what I was reminded the other day because I was at a concert? and the artist did this was, remember he had his strap on harmonica?

The strap onica? The strap onica. Yeah. Yeah, that guy. The guy who used to bring his guitar down there. Yes. Oh, you know what? Drums.

In your house? Well, not in the house. You have a drum set, but like, you're like Travis Barker? I feel like a drum player is sexy. Okay, but if they're not like Travis Barker, you're just hammering away in the basement. Okay. It's a basement activity. I'm projecting my fiancee plays the drums.

He does? He's allegedly. I haven't seen it. No, it's piano for me. Especially if you have long, sexy fingers. It's romantic. Yes. I feel like you're not like cosplaying. Like people really like, they act like they really think that they're doing something. Yeah. When they're, okay. We don't always go through all these, but cooking is like the sexiest thing to me. I just, cooking is so much about like love and it's so sexy to me and somebody's making something for you and you get to eat it. It's like, yeah. You could participate in the hobby. Yeah. I don't want you to watch you read a book across a room. Right. Yeah, the best thing about cooking is, I don't have to cook.

Like, I sit there and drink wine. Yeah, it's sexy to me. Next is woodworking, which is open to interpretation. Like, are you building a table or are you, like, making figurines? I don't think they're whittling. I think they're woodworking. What do you interpret it as? I think it's building a fire.

That's just putting wood in a fire. I think it's... That's not woodworking. That's building a fire. Did you chop the wood down? A wood shop. Right. You think it's, I think, okay. Lumberjew, final answer, it's make a table.

Yeah, okay. Chopping wood is hot too and way harder than you would think. Have you ever watched a man try to chop? It's not harder than I would think. It looks really hard to me. Yeah, like I think every guy thinks he can take an axe and split like a tree trunk in half and you cannot. No, that looks literally so hard to me. Okay, all right. I just think they think it looks easy. No, you know that I'm like exclusively attracted to men that want to live in the wilderness.

Yeah. So this is really, this is my vibe. Painting. is so not no okay but what if they painted like a house the way you're interpreting these like they like they paint they paint like they paint like a room or a house rena they're like a task rabbit anybody can paint this means like artistic painting it gives me the ick my ex used to paint my ex a color okay well we're not dating you're not a man that i'm dating my ex used to color and it was so unattractive to me painting the fact that you said painting a house okay

The next one is writing. Writing what? Like journaling. Or calligraphy. Emails. Oh my God. There's been a debate going on between me and my fiance. We've been battling back and forth on who's a faster typeer.

Like typing, typing, he is like almost doubly as fast as me. He's such a fast paper. We did a speed test. He's like 105 words a minute. That's insane. He's such a fast type. Now I want to do a speed test with you. Typing should be on here.

Well, there's some other. Okay, so should we just run through? I mean, gardening, swimming. What is that even swimming? If you are not Michael Phelps, I don't want to watch you swim. A man doing the breathstroke. I don't care if you can swim. It's not a requirement for getting me. That's fine. Like, if you would drown in the ocean, I don't care. We go in a boat. You stay on the boat. Okay. Photography, I like that. My fiancé does that. I think it's really hot. A man with a camera. I really like that they have a concept of like. I feel attacked, actually. Okay, sorry. I like when they understand photography. Okay. Okay, if we can move on.

Okay, the next one, very controversial. Astronomy. What about that? It's attractive. Tell me now. Do you mean this, all you can do is recognize the big and little dipper or you're like into astronomy? Like, you have a telescope.

I'm surprised this didn't say astrology. So many girls would be like, if he knew what a Gemini is. Astronomy, no, guys are like weirdly into it. Like my brother's into it. But like, I don't know more than the average constellations. Like, if that's a hobby of yours, like, what are you doing? I don't know. Let's move on. Hiking. It's just walking. Liss is just attacking me. Yeah, hiking, I mean, to me, that's like an athletic outdoorsy person. I think that's, like, very sexy to a lot of people. I get that.

I want a guy that's going to hike with me. Like, I enjoy it. You know, low-level stuff. I don't need to go on, like, crazy hikes, but like, I really enjoy it. I like to bring a Zool. Like, I don't want a guy that wants to mount and be hiking super outdoorsy. That's not what I'm with. That's not what I want. That's not what I've ever wanted. And I've dated some of those guys in the past. But if you were super. were anti going on a hike because even you, Raina, you wouldn't say you like to hike, but you'll go. I'd like it to be on the table. I'd like outdoor activities, like rugged outdoor activities to be on the table some of the time. Yeah. This next one is unreal.

Archery. I mean, I guess at its core, it is really masculine. Like, you can hit a target. It's a little violent. Like, we can do that together. You can stand behind me and, like, do archery with me. I don't know that I'm attracted to a guy who you're like, what are your hobbies? And they're like, archery.

Where? bitch where are you archery? In the yard? Like where are we doing this? Okay. How do you feel on spear fishing? We'll get back to it. I don't, fishing is not on my list. I want to get back to hunting actually in a second. Blacksmithing. Is this the 1800s? What do you mean blacksmithing? What does that actually mean? Can we pull around? What does that mean? He's making swords. I'm on a date. I'm like, what are you into? And they're like, blacksmithing. I just like to make swords. Do we just go back in time and then traveling? I can't believe traveling came in at number 50. Traveling came after archery.

and blacksmithing and swimming. That's what you guys... Woodworking. I wanted to where the people live that were submitting these because traveling is number one for me. You know what's really interesting though is I just want to see what the other hobbies were because why would they tell us they put 74 on the list? I'm actually surprised. Well, I'm not surprised if people don't like it, but hunting. Like I wonder where women rank that.

Anything we do like kill innocent animals? I'm assuming that's on there. is a lot of people's hobbies. Yeah. That didn't come up. I mean, I am with a car guy, but I think women like the car stuff. I like guys that can do stuff on the cars. I mean, that's who my dad is like that.

You know, like, I'm surprised. I don't know what they would have called it, but like, that's a hobby. Like, cars are a hobby. You know, if you, like, fix them up or you take your car to the track or I just thought cars might be on here. And I'm into that, obviously. But I don't know. Cars. No sports.

I wonder if sports were, unless I want to see the list. Okay. You could call archery a sport. I like a guy that plays basketball on the weekends, like skiing. I'm surprised that skiing wasn't on here at all. Football and not a hobby. You play it or you don't. Biking?

Yeah, biking, cycling. I'm really surprised that cycling, skiing. Like, these are things that most people want to do with their partners, not me. But I'm saying, I think they were on that list of 74 things and, like, women didn't pick them. So interesting. It's so weird. And then, so then we can move on to the top hobbies men think women like, but they just use the same list we did. They're just in a different order.

I'm surprised that, like, these aren't really. things that you do together as much? Yeah. You're not going to woodwork with somebody. I guess you could garden photography. You're not doing with somebody. So basically then it was top hobbies men think women like. Of course it's playing an instrument, number one.

Yeah. So their number one is playing an instrument. Their number two is swimming. That's, their number three is traveling. Then it goes hiking, cooking, foreign languages, then reading, they're way off. Then painting, writing, woodworking, photography, gardening, archery. blacksmithing and astronomy. Actually, they correctly identified the bottom three for me, which is archery, blacksmith,

and astronomy. Do not care. Blacksmithing is second to last on both lists, but it's funny that women like astronomy more than men think they do. It's funny to me that men are like, out of all these women are going to love playing an instrument because that is so, if you said to me like what are the sexiest things a man can do, I wouldn't even, it wouldn't even occur to me. I actually prefer that you don't.

Unless you're John Legend, I would like you to not play an instrument in front of. me. Yes. Okay, did you see the least attractive? If not, I want to read them to you. I'd love to surprise you with these. No, I've seen. You've seen? I've seen these, but yeah, I haven't like committed it to memory. Okay. I want to just run it by you. I didn't even know they did this. The least attractive hobbies to women. So the things that men do that we give us the egg. No part of it. Basically. Number one comic books. Fuck no. Number two, cosplay. What is cause play? Dressing up his stuff and like going to like Comic Con. Like in the park like like recreationally. You know, what's that call where they, like, get dressed up in the park and they, like, do battles?

LARP. Yeah, larping. Is that like Dungeons and Dragons? Okay. Debating. Debate. Is that a hobby? That's an Olympic sport.

Drinking. MTG. What is MTV? Oh, magic. Magic. Okay. Magic. Anime.

Makeup. Crypto. Cigars. Claving. Marijuana. Funko. Yes. My ex.

into funco those little like funco things and then next one i love the most arguing online the fact that was a hobby on the list who made this list porn gambling manosphere what's manosphere websites blogs and online forums promoting masculinity misogyny and opposition to feminism i mean i feel like you and i could have like written this list a lot of this is some antisocial behavior i need to know all the vices i'm surprised that makeup was on here at all well maybe i mean i'm trying to like i'm like an open-minded response to it. No, like, some people would do, they would like turn themselves into like a leopard or something. Do you think that's a, that's the hobby?

Face painting. Make up face painting. Or drag. If you're heard of drag, that's a hobby. That's true. Well, they should just ridden drag. Okay. Debating is the funniest thing.

Arguing online. Yes. Arguing online. Oh, but then at the end, they did do attractiveness of male athletic hobbies. Oh. So these are the hobbies, the sports that we kind of talked about and how. attractive women find them. So I'll read them top to bottom. So the number one is swimming. Crazy. The thing that women are the most attracted to. Swimming. Then it's hiking. Then it's canoeing.

No, it's not. I never saw a man in a canoe and thought, I can't wait to suck that dick. Then it's rock climbing. No. What women? Did they just do this in Denver? And then it's skiing. And then it's surfing, which is hot. Then it's scuba. A man in a scuba. A man in a body suit. The more ranked higher than bodybuilding. Yeah. And then it's playing sports. Okay, so they just encompassed all sports. All sports.

Fuck the survey. All sports. All sports. And then it's riding. It doesn't specify horses, I assume. It's horses because bicycles is the other thing. Then it's fencing. Then it's bicycles.

Then it's bodybuilding. Then it's running. Then it's skateboarding. Then yoga. Then boxing M. And then golf. Do you know how boxing is way? I guess it's dangerous

So women are like I don't necessarily I don't necessarily want to date a boxer Because of like the It's so dangerous I like it as a hobby Like I like a guy that Because I used to take boxing classes and stuff

Like no I don't want someone that's like doing that professionally And getting the shit kicked out of them It's certainly hotter than fencing Fencing You see a guy with that beekeeper mask on And you're like I want that That's a beekeeper That is crazy

Riding a horse I don't find well I guess if you're a cowboy But if you're not a cowboy If you're just a guy If your name's just Justin And you're on a horse I know. Right.

I'm like, ride me. Okay. I'll ride you. Not ride me. That's weird. Yoga, more attractive than boxing. I find boxing is so sexy. I do too.

All right. There it is, you guys. Still unclear where they did this and how many people they interviewed. I want to know where they lived and live. I like to be calling bullshit on all these surveys. But I think it was an interesting discussion. Well, anyways, this is a very long article. There's a ton of different polls.

So you guys should check it out. It's on datepsychology.com. It's the most and least attractive. male hobbies. Okay. Yeah, we'll link it. We'll put it on our Instagram this week. Girl Scott Ead podcast is our Instagram. And we are going to get into it with Scott. Maybe we'll see what he thinks about this. But I am just going to tell you guys about Built. So if you are a renter, which I am, Raina is not for long, but I am still a renter. And if you ever feel like you're stuck in this loop of rent payments, just watching your money, vanish in a thin air, it is time

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And if you subscribe, not only will you get amazing discounts at free gifts, you will make sure that your monthly supply is guaranteed. Okay, well, let's get into it. All right, guys, we are really excited to welcome our guest today. He is a professor of marketing at NYU's Stern School of Business. He is a serial entrepreneur who has founded nine firms. His Prop G and Pivot Podcasts, No Mercy, No Malice, Weekly Blog, and Prop G YouTube, channel reaches millions of people worldwide. The New York Times coined him the Howard Stern of the business world. Please welcome to the show, Scott Galloway. It's great to be here. Thanks for having me.

It's great to have you here. Do you like being called Prof. G. Or should I call you Scott? People are nicer to you when they think you're a professor. They have this image that you're at home watching PBS, petting your Labrador, and they're like, they're genuinely nicer to you. Really? Oh, it's a fan. I would say to any young person who's thinking about a career in academia that it's a wonderful profession. A lot of flexibility, a lot of credibility you don't do or don't deserve. Would you guys have me here if I wasn't on the faculty at NYU? Yeah.

Oh, good. No, in a way, not at all. Send him my resignation. She wouldn't. I'm kidding. We've had other people on the faculty at NYU, quite a few. Have you? Yeah, but yeah, you're a pretty big deal outside of that, too.

Thank you for that. Well, I think probably one of the first things I saw was a clip of you talking about men being in crisis and you've had this a few different times, the most dangerous person out there. We saw that. And then, of course, you know, the credentials don't hurt. But we love what you have to say. Thanks, Susanna. Yeah, you rejected us first.

I've had to come back a few times. Really? Yeah, your assistant kindly passed the first time. But I was like, I'll get them. It has been a long journey. And then all of a sudden, one day, Raina was like, Scott's in. Our producers are. Are you kidding?

She got so excited when she heard about Girls'Card. You got to do this. You got to do this. And I was like, we got them. So we always get in somehow. Yeah. Illusion of scarcity. Sexiest word in the English language? No.

No? Oh, the sexy. I don't know. Most relationships usually involve at some point someone's saying no. Otherwise, the other person takes them for granted. So can we talk about that before we get in everything else? The sexiest word to both genders? I just want to hear what your thoughts aren't saying that statement.

Sure. So when they've surveyed people who have been together for more than 30 years, in three quarters of the instances, one was much more interested than in the other. and most of the time it was the man. And it makes sense. Just everything kind of goes back to instinct. The downside of sex is much greater for women because of pregnancy than it is for men. So women have a much finer filter, which is basically their choosier. And one of the problems and one of the reasons I think that birth rates are declining and so many people are so lonely in their 20s is that there's very few places for a man to demonstrate excellence.

And that is if you're not going into work, if you're not going into work, if you're not, you're not, you know, going to church, you basically have online dating. And women's filter, women will swipe right much less often than a guy will. Men are disproportionately evaluated based on their economic viability. Women are disproportionately evaluated on their aesthetics. But men are much less choosy than women. A woman will find something slightly wrong in a profile and decide, that's just not for me. That's just not for me. Oh my God, look at that sweater, right? Whereas a guy is more like, oh, you know, she looks cute. Look at those boobs and that sweater.

Yeah, but I get the sense she has a great body underneath that neck, whatever it might be, right? And so I think that when people don't have an opportunity to fall in love, and these interviews were really fascinating on video. It was like, yeah, I was interested in him, but he was kind. I liked his hands. I worked with him and I saw how competent he was, and I started to become attracted. So the problem I see, one of the big problems is where do men or generally people have an opportunity to fall in love? Where do young people meet? And two out of three relationships as of COVID, I don't know if it's come down, are in dating apps.

And effectively dating apps have sort of been mostly bad for almost all women and amazing for the top desile of men. Because, and again, I'm not going to talk about the way the world should be. I'm talking to tell where the way the world is. The top 10% of men on dating apps, if mating was an economy, it'd be more unequal than income inequality in Venezuela. And that is the top 10% of men on dating apps in terms of attractiveness, get 80 plus percent of the activity. The scariest out I ever saw was 50 men on Tinder, 50 women on Tinder, 46 of the women will show all of their attention to just four men, the same four guys.

And so it leaves 46 men fighting for the attention of just the four women that would even consider them. And so where do young people fall in love? And specifically, where do men have an opportunity to demonstrate excellence when we're in a very two-dimensional environment where women are just snap judged on their aesthetics and guys get a snap judgment on, quite frankly, how many resources they signal, both in terms of their education, where they're working, etc. So I worry that we in a digital economy, it's harder and harder for young people to connect and fall in love. And the result, or one of the results is that two and three women under the age of 30 is in a relationship. Only one and three men under the age of 30 is in a relationship. You think,

well, that's mathematically impossible. No, it's not because women are dating older and older because they want an emotionally and economically viable man. So what are you? That's a wrap. We're done. Peace out. Thanks everybody. I'm going to go to the roof. Actually, I have to jump off. soon and a Prop G. So I want to ask you, because since COVID, we've sort of moved to a model at work where we're working from home. And I think about when I worked at Groupon and Amazon and the people that I really like fell for, I dated at work a lot because you can see men in the workplace. And I really respected how people would interact with each other and work really hard. And that's how I saw those qualities that you're talking about at where I slept around

to work. But I was engaged to somebody I worked with. I mean, that's how I met people. And now we've moved to a different type of model. So I'm curious what you're feeling. are about not going to the workplace anymore. Well, okay, so there's actual the physical, you know, it's hard to meet someone over Zoom at work. That creates when you're at work, so here's what sets HR's hair on fire. One out of three relationships traditionally have begun at work. And 99% of those relationships are consensual.

And because of some horrible abuses of power, mostly by older men in power, there has now basically the entire HR department and everyone just kind of discouraging relationships at work, right? It's kind of taboo. And if you put a bunch of young people in any environment where they're spending a lot of time together, they should start having sex and mating. I've been to 12 weddings of people who met at my company, and I think of that as a mitzvah. Having said that, I'm on a bunch of public company boards or I was. And as a rule, I believe once someone gets above a certain level of power, quite frankly, their fly is up and locked because you need to take that off campus, because the power, and it's true of women too, but women usually don't abuse that power

the same way men do. Women will mistake sexual interest for kindness. Men mistake kindness for sexual interest. So I'm a powerful man and all these young women seem really interested in me. No, it's because we have power over them in their economic livelihood, and you're mistaking that kindness for sexual interest. And so I think you need to make it clear that above a certain level of power, that part of your life is taken off campus. But for young people where there's not the same asymmetric power dynamic, I'm not saying you turn the place into, you know, Cancun. But I think it's nice when people, if you're going to ask people as I do in my company to work very hard and a lot, you know, use common sense, obviously. And if you don't know the difference

between asking someone out to coffee and trying to sense if they're interested in being very slow about it. You need to go very slow in a professional setting because if it goes wrong, could go very wrong for everybody. If you don't know the difference between that and harassing someone, you've got much bigger problems. And I worry that, okay, people aren't going to religious institutions anymore. I'm an atheist. Fewer and fewer people are going to church, temple, or mass. Okay, people aren't going into work. People aren't playing sports. Where are people supposed to meet and fall in love other than online dating, which is like anything in digital, it's winner take most, if not all. And that's a terrible dynamic for the world, because if you look at

what we're regressing to is this where we've traditionally been throughout history, and that is 80% of women on this planet are procreated, only 40% of men. And we're turning into this environment where a small number of men again are getting all the disproportionate opportunity, which lets them engage in something I affectionately call Porsche polygamy, where the top 10% of men can get a date every night. And quite frankly, that doesn't motivate them to behave well. Yes. Right? And it doesn't encourage long-term relationships. So for the top 10% of men, it's amazing. The average man in terms of attractiveness in online dating has to swipe right 200 times to get one match, one coffee. And if he sets up five coffees, four will ghost him. Four will have second thoughts and say, you know, I'm not going.

So a guy of average attractiveness on a dating app has to swipe right a thousand times to get one coffee. So he gets validation that he has been rejected by the community. And he kind of can start a downward spiral of a lack of self-esteem. So I worry, you know, when I think about how do we, I was just on the podcast of the CEO of Airbnb, I'm like, you need something where people, when they're on the road, can flip a switch, and it groups people together in the Airbnb community. I think we need more ways, parks, whatever it is, athletic leagues, nonprofits, national service, such that young people can get together and fall in love.

60% of 30-year-olds used to have at least one child in the house, now it's 27%. And there's a lot of factors going into that, including that young people don't have as much money. Every economic policy in the U.S. is to get me rich and get you less rich, a transfer of wealth from your generation of mine. that's part of it. But also where do young people meet and have the opportunity to fall in love other than online? And I think it's a huge crisis and there's a lot of loneliness. But the loneliness is especially damaging for men because women who have an absence of a romantic or a sexual relationship oftentimes channel that energy or find other places to give and receive love. They are better at maintaining a friend network. They're better at maintaining a good, healthy relationship with their family. they oftentimes pour that additional energy into their career or to school. Guys come off the fucking rails without the prospect of a romantic relationship. They stop showering. They behave poorly.

The reason I stopped getting high every night is because my girlfriend when I was 23 said, if you want to continue to have sex with me, you've got to stop smoking so much pot. That was a real motivator for me because I really enjoyed having sex with her. If I had not had a romantic relationship, guys really need the guardrails of a romantic relationship because they're less mature and they're more prone to addiction and they're more prone to conspiracy theory, they're more likely to start blaming women and engage in misogynistic content, they're more likely to start blaming immigrants when they don't have a job. And some, they just become really shitty citizens. And that's not to say that loneliness is any less

hard on women, but the externalities of loneliness amongst young men seems to be more damaging for society. Wow. Yeah. I mean, I look around at all my single girlfriends and myself. And I think like all of them, they work out, they volunteer. And there's like endless memes about it. They have huge friend groups. They travel. They pour so much time into their hobbies and their friend networks and it just gets bigger and bigger. And I don't really know that I would say that about all of my single male friends. I mean, this is the stuff that attracted us to your content in the first place. And it's where do we go? I mean, do you have ideas on how it can improve? Because again, it becomes a threat. I'm just a glass half empty, because I'm here. Regardless, it's validating. I'm here to talk about the problems,

not the solutions. But to your point about friends, right? One in seven men doesn't have a single friend. One in four men can't name a best friend. There is no group globally that has ascended faster than women over the last 30 years. More women globally are seeking tertiary education than men. And when you look at some countries don't want women in tertiary education, that's incredible. And the U.S. is going to be three college, female college grads every two in the next five years. No group in the U.S. has fallen further faster than men. More women own single women own homes now than single men. Women under the age of 30 are making more money.

They're four times as likely to kill themselves. Three times is likely to be addicted. Three times is likely to be homeless. We don't have a suicide homeless or opiate problem. We have a male suicide. We have a male opiate. Men are 12 times as likely to be incarcerated. And because of the advantage that I received, there's a lack of empathy for young men.

It's like, well, okay, boss, you've had a 2,000-year-haired. start. But that doesn't help a 19-year-old male that has no romantic, no economic prospects, is not cut out for college, the jobs that traditionally were the onramps into the middle class, maybe raised by a single mother, doesn't have a lot of male role models in his life. But if you're thinking about, all right, my friend network and how I get, you know, how I meet people, how many times have you heard people say, I know all these amazing women, high character, attractive, got their shit together professionally, and they can't find a man? I talk about it all the time. That's not true.

They can find a man. They just can't find a man they're interested in dating. Yeah. The disparity of that. And with the education component, like there's, we love the statistics on this because, again, it's been validating, especially in women in New York City for an example of like, why can't I find good men? It's like there is stats that kind of prove the disparity between the eligible men and

women. Sure. But if we're going to have an honest conversation, we need to have an honest conversation, and that is men made socioeconomically horizontally and down. They're sort of indifferent about how much money you make. women made horizontally, socioeconomically horizontally and up. 50% of women state they will not date a man shorter than them. I bet it's 80%.

It's just an embarrassing thing to own up to. They're just, I think, innately not attracted to someone who doesn't look like they could physically protect them and their children. It's very instinctual. Effectively, women are getting taller and taller every year. They're making more money. They're getting more educational attainment. 40 years ago, one in three jobs required a college degree. Now it's two and three.

So women are deservedly overdue, overdo killing it professionally, because they're seeking careers that require the world needs more college grads, more women are graduating from college. So that's a wonderful thing. But the problem is the pool of horizontal and up is shrinking. And the reality is, and I get some consumer dissonance throughout what women actually say whenever I, and we'll get it on this podcast, you're full of shit, I just need an emotionally secure man.

I'm fine. I've always made more money. Great. The data shows the following in marriages. When the woman starts making more money than the guy, they become twice as likely to get divorced in the next 24 months. The guy becomes three times more likely to take ED drugs because he starts losing his self-esteem. I'm not blaming this all on women, but I still do believe, and I think the research shows

this, that women, for the most part, expect the man to take a leadership role economically. And when he doesn't take that leadership role, she is less sexually attracted to him. So I think it's interesting that we tell women that like, like a man that's at the top of his financial field and he's tall and he's ascended to the top, we would never tell him date down, date under what you think you deserve. But we are saying to women, you've ascended to this level of money, power, career success, but you, a height, but you have to make concessions. We would never say that to a man. I don't think you can say it to women. I don't think you can tell women to lower their

expectations. I just think that's, it's great that women are ascending. We should do nothing to get in the way of that. That's a collective victory for all of us. us, right? What, loosely speaking, when I advise young people on mating, what I advise men is the following. Give me your phone, unlock it. I'm going to find 10 to 15 hours of just bullshit in your phone. Between TikTok, Twitter, Coinbase, Robin Hood, you're not investing. You're gambling. Porn. We're going to take 15 hours and we're going to reallocate it across three places. One, you're going to start working out three to four times a week. I believe that the male bone structure and muscle structure poured over by this amazing substance called testosterone is an

amazing thing. And I think every man under the age of 30 should be able to walk into any room and know that if anyone threatens him or his family, he could kill and eat them. I think that is what young men should aspire to. And I think strength is important. The guys who break up fights and bars are big, strong guys. You get strong. You're going to feel better about yourself. You're going to be kinder. You're going to be more generous. You're going to be less prone to mental illness. And by the way, I think we just celebrate strength than women. I do CrossFit. There's a big female component, and we celebrate their big ass thighs and their big ass ass and how fucking powerful they are.

And I think that's nice because the fitness industrial complex is basically telling women to be rail thin and then go to get their breasts enhanced. That's not healthy. Second thing, you're going to go out and you're going to start making some money. If you have a smartphone, you can make money in this economy. I don't care if it's being a task rabbit, an Uber. You want to make a lot of money, get a taste for the flesh of money and start making a little bit of money. And it gets you excited about money. And it gets you seeing that having money and spending

it is just awesome. And you need to have, you know, you need to be able to present to anyone, your parents, a potential romantic partner yourself, a plan. I'm doing this. I'm, I'm a lift driver. I'm saving a little bit of money. I'm thinking about going to junior college, getting into trade school, whatever needs to be, even if you don't stick to it, every guy's got to have a plan. And then the third thing is, you need to be out of your house at least 14 hours a day. You have to get out. Nothing wonderful. is ever going to happen to you on a screen with an algorithm. You have to be out of the house and you have to put yourself once, ideally once a day, but at least two or three times a week, in a company of strangers building something beyond yourself, nonprofit, church, sports league, whatever it might be, soup kitchen, work. You have to get out and you have to start meeting people. And what I tell young men is you porn will always be a distant second to your porn. Get out and try and have sex and meet people. There's nothing wrong with that. establishing those skills around approaching someone and expressing romantic interest while making them feel safe is a skill every man needs to learn by the time they're an adult. Women still

expect men to initiate contact. Some women, that's not true for, but still most surveys show that women want the man to initiate some sort of romantic interest or contact. Well, it sounds like you do have the solution to the problem with what the three things. men need to do if they can follow those. But in terms of there's there's all sorts of programs. First off, we need to level up all young people. I think programs just targeting young men. I'd be so politicized. I think we need to lift off all people. We need to stop transferring money from your generation of mine. We need more vocational programming. We need to expand freshman seats at colleges. I do think there's some male targeted programs for primary education. They're more female fighter pilots per capita than

male kindergarten teachers. So let me back up. Where does a boy come off the tracks and become a shitty citizen? It's when he loses a male role model. It ends up that girls in single parent homes, of which we have the second most in the world behind Sweden, have the same outcomes, the same college attendance, same rates of self-harm. Boys become immediately less likely to go to college, become immediately much more likely to engage in self-harm. Research shows is that why boys are physically stronger, women are emotionally and mentally much stronger than boys. And so I think we need programs to put more men into a boy's life. Two-thirds to 80 percent of primary school teachers are women, who are women naturally going to champion, someone who reminds them of themselves.

Think about the behaviors we encourage in school. Sit still, be organized, be a pleaser, raise your hand, only speak when spoken to. You just described a girl. And the education system is highly biased against boys. Boys are twice as likely to be suspended on a behavior-adjusted basis for the exact same behavior as a girl. A black boy is five times as likely to be suspended for the exact same infraction as a girl. So you have an education system that primary school has an absence of men and is biased against boys. And once a boy is suspended two or three times, it means there's no chance he's going to college. So more men in primary education, more vocation, seats, national service, more first year seats, and fiscal and tax policies that level

up young people and young families such that young people, one, can get together, men have more opportunities to be economically viable. Once more economically and emotionally viable men, women, and in general put more money in the pockets of young people, child tax credit, first time homebuyers credit, a progressive tax policy that lowers taxes on lower middle-in-housholds such that when people get together, they actually have the money to start procrating and having kids. I'm not saying you have to have kids to be happy, but I think a lot of people are not having kids right now because they're having trouble finding a partner. And once they find a partner, they're having trouble affording children.

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So the research shows, and then I'll put the question back to you and ask you, because everyone's different. That's a beautiful thing about human sexuality is as people are drawn to different things, different body types, different smells, whatever it might be. But generally the research shows that women are attracted to men for the top three reasons. I'll start in reverse order. Number three is kindness. This notion of the bad boy, it's fun in the short run, but generally speaking, women want someone who's going to be kind and a good person, treats their parents well, as kind to strangers. You know, I've read in surveys, very few things turn a woman off more than on a date when the dude is rude to the service staff. Kindness, number three, number three. Number

Two, intellect. And that is, if you're smart and make good decisions for the tribe and for the family, we and the family and the kids are more likely to survive if I have a partner who makes good decisions. And by the way, the fastest way to communicate intellect is humor. This is my impression of a woman around a funny guy. I'm laughing, I'm laughing, I'm naked. I've always said clip it. Scott, if I had a dollar for every time. Anyways, I think humor, you know, I was six, I was very tall, very skinny with bad acne. It wasn't a good look in high school. And I figured out really fast that if I ever wanted to go to the prom, I had to develop

this innate skill I had to make people laugh, right? And that kind of saved me. Anyways, it sort of saved me. And then number one, though, the number one thing is do you signal resources? And it's not even, do you have money at the time, although that's a great way to signal resources, a fat home and a nice car. but also do you have your act together such that it just seems like you're going to have resources in the future. You have a plan. The guy that just got at Dartmouth and is going to work at Google,

he's signaling resources. He's going to be fine. But you don't necessarily have to go to an elite college or be working a great firm. You need to have a plan and you need to be making traction. And you need to show discipline. I think one of the reason that women are attracted to fit strong guys is not only very instinctual, but when a guy works out and clearly exercises, you're saying, I can commit to something. You're saying I'm disciplined. You're saying, I don't party every goddamn day. You can count on me.

I show up every day for something. So, again, in order, reverse order, kindness, intellect, and then signaling, signaling resources. Where did I get that wrong? Where do you guys find that you're attracted to? You're not wrong, and I love that you threw in the humor because that's important to me to us. But again, we do correlate that with intelligence, too. So I really like that you say it doesn't mean you have all this money now. But women know if a guy does what he says he's going to do and is intentional and seems like someone that's always going to land on his feet or figure it out and has a plan.

So, I mean, I'm engaged now. All that matches up and what I feel like I was looking for. And on top of it, the other things I said, someone that has a lot of hobbies and interest, has a lot of friends from all areas of his life, has a busy full life, loves his family. all those kind of go together for me. I mean, we align on that completely. I want to be excited about how you spend your days. At the end of the day, I want to be really amped to hear like, what did you do today? Who did you interact with?

What do you work on? What are you going on? What are you planning? And maybe that is. I went to work out. I work out five days a week. You know, I worked on something I'm really proud of. I contributed to the world in a good way.

I have friends. I have interest. I went to a new restaurant. I want to like be amped by how you spent your day. When I first moved to New York, I used to go out. I wasn't doing a lot. and it was the odds and New York and my life was on fire lotus pangea you know just all butter you know all these double seven all the every night there was something and I went out and I was

under the illusion that if I could get past the doorman and I knew the right people and was at the right place that that was somehow attractive and it's totally empty calories and this guy said something to me that really made all the sense he's like I think bottom minds it's all about what you do during the day and if you kill it during the day you're going to no problem meeting people at night. And I coach a lot of young men. And what you said about friends is really powerful. I'm like, what do you think of your assets? You got to lean into your assets, right? Do you have a cool hobby? Yeah, I'm actually a really good sailor. Take her sailing. Demonstrate that excellence. Show that you're passionate about something. I have really cool friends.

Get a bunch of your friends out. Bring her. I agree with you. I think there are very few things more attractive to a woman than a guy. Guys are the average of their five closest friends. So if you see impressive guys, you're going to go, that means he's inclined to be, you know, pretty interesting, right? And it shows that you're not just after one thing that you like people and that you enjoy being around them. That is a, I think for young men who have a good friend group, that is a huge, you know, a huge asset, a huge plus. And you want to introduce any prospective romantic relationship to your friend group as soon as possible. It shows you're secure, shows your fun. I think it's a huge plus. Yeah. 100%. It's really attractive. I dated some guy. I remember last summer and he was like,

he planned a lot of like guys trips with his friends. They would like go to Vegas. They'd go to a lot like sporting events. They got a house in LA for once, once a year for a week. And I thought it was so attractive that like a man had a group of friends that like made plans together. It's really rare. Yeah. So what are men attracted to? What are the three things? Do we have the And what are they looking for in women? Yeah, unfortunately, it's not that aspirational. It's kindness. It's nurturing.

And it's mostly someone who is, by traditional standards, aesthetically feminine, you know, attractive. Like, weird shit, like high bone structure, because supposedly that means your kids are less likely to have infection. Women who look like they'd be good at childbirth. And I won't go into the specifics there. This is the unfair thing. Women are disproportionately evaluated on their looks. That's not a shocker. Men are disproportionately evaluated on their economic violence.

And I think that's, for men, it's a little bit more base. Only one in four men say economic viability is important to them. It's three and four women. And I bet it's even more skewed than that if you really get down to it. So what do you feel about men? You know, you go on dating apps and men say, I want a woman who's ambitious. It takes care of herself and it's financially secure and makes a bunch of money. And do men actually want that or did they say they want that?

And when faced with that, they actually aren't that attractive to it. And there is a huge spectrum of men. Yeah, and I've met plenty of people that are really proud of their female partners. But do men seek that out and then they find it? And they're like, oh, I don't want that. I don't know. I think it's situational. Just like some women are just incredibly drawn to artists regardless of what the economic viability is there.

It is situation. So I'm making very reductive analysis here. But typically speaking, if you were to give me 10 women. who are just professional ballers physically average, right? But just amazing professionally. And you were to give me 10, you know, really attractive women who are just average professionally, I'd be more confident that the latter group would have an easier time finding a mate.

I think men are just drawn. Again, I'm not talking about the way the world should be. I'm talking about the way it is. You know, women, I mean, New York is sort of the tip of the spear for where dating goes, unfortunately in an unchecked market where we don't get more people together and let them fall in love. And that is New York City is optimized for two groups, hot young women and rich guys, and for everyone else, it's a soul-crushing experience. And if we don't create more opportunities for people to spend time together and find out, she's great. And it wouldn't be nice to partner

with someone. What Vice President Walls said in that debate that it didn't get any play, but I thought was the most interesting thing he said. His advice was to surround yourself with smart women and listen to them. And guys who are young and smart will realize early on that having a partner who's a real partner, not only emotionally, not only physically, but economically, is an enormous advantage. And you're going to live a nicer life

because the thing that causes divorce, 70% of divorce filings are filed by women. And usually people think it's about infidelity or lack of share of values, it usually reverse engineers to financial stress. Because if you have financial stress, it injects that stress into every relationship, your relationship with your kids, your relationship with your partner. And I tell young men, a good place to start, and I recognize this sound sexist, is that you are going to take economic responsibility for your household.

Okay. But sometimes that means getting out of the way and being more supportive of your partner who happens to be better at this money thing than you. That is part of being economically responsible. When my partner, when we first had our kid, she was working at Goldman. I was trying to figure out my professional life. She was killing it. She was on the way up, making a lot of money.

So I took more of a logistical role in the baby's life. I saw that as taking an economic responsibility for my household. She's killing it. It's going to be awesome if we have the money to have a secure loving household. She's killing it right now. I'm going to do everything I can to be supportive. What is really pathetic is you mean men who expect their wives to be barefoot and pregnant, and they aren't very good at what they do. But they have this illusion that just by being a dude somehow, I can't get over how many men aren't supportive of how much more economically powerful they would be if you figured out a way for your girlfriend or wife who went to elite schools and it's more discipline than you.

if you let her flat out run professionally, right? So the reality is men just don't establish that as much as a criteria as they should because America becomes more like itself every day. And that is it is a loving, generous place if you have money. It is a violent, rapacious place if you don't. And it's getting more like that every year. So I think people who are thoughtful think, okay, how can I build a unit that is really economic, and you might at some point, I'm making much more money now than my partner. So now she's

taking more of a role with the family. And she's picking up the slack there. But you know, you can't overcome instinct. And women have a difficult time, and we'll all get shit for this, being attracted to a man who brings a lot to the table except for economic viability. That's a guy that typically has a tough time getting a date. And men have a difficult time. men are just drawn to who they're most sexually drawn to initially. And it creates a bit of a disconnect when people don't, again, I go back to the same place. We need more third spaces where people can fall in love. I like to talking about your relationship and how it's ebbed and flowed and who may be making more

money because we see a lot of relationships where, first of all, I'm with someone who knew who I was going into it. You know, he knows that we're successful and make money. He finds that attractive. We're solid. But we see sometimes where the relationship doesn't start that way. the man is making more and the woman isn't and then she kind of blows past him. And in a economically strong relationship, like you said, it can ebb and flow and you can take on different

roles and that's positive. But we kind of see it go south because the man is all of a sudden emasculated and he didn't sign up for that. And, you know, it starts to shift the dynamic and the dynamic changes and he may not be secure enough to handle it. What you said is absolutely true. Well, you miss is the other side of the coin. Okay. And that is women tend to be less attracted to their partner once they make more money than him. Okay. There's that. I don't feel that way.

Well, I'll put it in like a pop culture thing. You might not. You brought that up. Well, you might not relate to this because you don't watch Bravo, probably Scott. But you see this across all the real housewives franchises on Bravo. And these women went on these shows because there are a lot of them, their husbands were very successful. And a lot of them were housewives. And they blew past their husbands.

And never have I seen just like a lineup of divorces like this in my entire life. No one's marriage can survive this show. It's crazy to watch. That's true. And you watch it time after time these women become more successful and more famous and blow past their husbands. And their husbands leave them or they leave their husbands. Yeah. I mean, I guess it's a matter of two people that need to be secure together. I mean, I don't know. You're exactly right because we see that too. But I also, there's like semantics of what it looks like.

You know, like, of course, if a guy just stops working and is like fucking off and not providing anymore, not working, a woman is going to lose her boner for that guy. But, you know, if she just starts making 50 to 100K more and he's still doing great, then that's on her. So there's all these memes in the manosphere that women are responsible for 70% of the divorce. Gay men lowest rates of divorce, heterosexual couples, like 46%. And the largest, greatest divorce rates right now are among lesbian couples. So the assumption is women bring more divorce energy. What they don't account for... BDA for women.

What they don't account for is the following. that is, as women are ascending professionally, men's responsibilities or emotional and logistical contribution to the harmony of the family has not followed the same arc of assent. And so what you have in a lot of relationships, women just shoulder no matter how much more economically viable they are, it's not like their responsibilities and expectation in the house are inversely correlated and go down. Yes. So what you're finding in a lot of these relationships, is one's like, okay, let me get this. I'm responsible for the majority of the child care, the logistics, the harmony in the household,

and I'm paying the majority of the bills here. Yeah. Like, okay, I'm out. I'm just out. You got to bring something here. You got to bring more emotional stability. You got to help more with the household, more with the kids. So I think a lot of the increase, the Manosphere will tell you that, okay, once I'm no longer a provider,

doesn't think of me as a partner. I do think there's some truth to that that we don't like to talk about because it's uncomfortable. But at the same time, we also got to recognize as women take on more economic responsibility in the household, the man's assent around managing some of the other things in the relationship is that keeping pace with her economic assent. You got to bring something. Yeah. Otherwise, you're another child in the house and I'd rather just be alone. That's what my wife calls me. Her third child. We had a guest on recently, and she was saying that more and more women are coming out and saying that may be divorced or even currently married and say, I'd never get married again. This didn't work out for me in my favor. So, and I'll date

and I'll have sex, but like that didn't work for me. Yeah. I think that's right. I think a lot of women are just doing the math and thinking, is this a good trade for me? And also, quite frankly, a lot of very successful men are saying, why do I want to enter this trade? I can have a series of many marriages over the course of my life. Yeah, 10% of guys. So we wanted to pivot a little bit and talk to you a little bit about business. Just a little bit about us. I mean, we have this podcast and a touring business and we have that side of it. We also have a startup as well.

We have a sexual wellness company that we started and we've been doing really great since 2022. So we have an best interest in the things that you might say. But in general, women starting a company that is in a stigmatized market like sex, we've run into a lot of hurdles and restrictions and when it comes to investments and things like that. So we just wanted to talk a little bit about that when it comes to female founders in emerging markets or stigmatized spaces and when it comes to investors and see if you have thoughts. So I've raised a lot of money for my companies. I'm an entrepreneur through the 90s, 2000s, have raised a lot of money. And it never dawned on me that all of the capital was going to straight white males. I mean, literally all of it.

And then I would describe around the turn of the millennium, every BC fund felt like they had to I remember I was raising I had a business intelligence company called L2 and I was raising money I was about to rate I think I raised 17 million and I went to literally the tier one VC on the east coast final meeting all the partners as a practice have to meet everybody and my two partners both women we walked in and all 26 partners have to hear the pitch and they all have to unanimously decide on the investment and one of my partners Catherine called me out of the room and said can't talk to a second and she's like we can't do this and why it's like there's not a single woman It's 26 men.

And it didn't even dawn on me because I was so used to all of the prosperity in the startup world being shoved to the 29% of our population that looks, melt and felt like me. And now looking back, I'm embarrassed that I didn't even notice. Like, why aren't people of color raising money? Okay. Well, and everyone would point to the Indian guy who started a text. up. And then it became a bit of a novelty to the odds. Everyone had one or two female founder, you know, or non-white founder startups. Token woman in the room. I think things have gotten much better. For sure. Yeah, I was at the Founders Forum to, yesterday at a dinner. Not half, but a good

solid 20, 25 percent of the founders there were women. And I do think that opportunity is not going to match equality here. I don't think we're ever going to be 50-50. I think we're ever going to be 50-50. I think I think men, and this will piss off people, I think men are more risk-aggressive and more prone to entrepreneurship than women, typically, and women instinctually sometimes will feel a greater calling towards family and childbirth, which is not sometimes compatible with startup. Startups don't work unless you're 110% in. It's very hard to manage a family and be a founder. Very hard.

Some women do, I've seen it, and it blows my mind. I don't know how we would do it. Maril's cousin who started the mirror that Lulu Wada. Oh, yeah. She had a kid. She had the million. I mean. I don't know.

I mean, when her and I, her and I, We run both these businesses. If I had a child to think about, I don't know how I would do it. The glitch in the matrix in America in terms of what could hold back our economy is that women have made huge strides, adjusted for the industry. They typically have kind of closed the wage gap. Where they fall to 73 or 77 cents on the dollar based on where you're looking is when they decide to use their ovaries and have kids. Corporate America has still not figured out a way to maintain a professional trajectory for women who have kids. It's figured it out for men who have kids, but it hasn't figured out for women have kids. In terms of taboo areas, I kind of don't buy it. If there's a lot of money

there, I think these guys would do pretty much anything for money. To make more money. Yeah. Do you think that there's sort of like a gap between like, when we've met with a lot of VCs and people that would potentially invest, it's mostly been men, but do you think that there's a different way that like female founded companies are presented to these VCs, that they're like, if this was a man, I'd be more inclined to work with them? There's just an enormous built and bias because The venture capital community is the most homogenous business community in the world. Okay, here's a great stat. 40% of venture capitalists are men from two universities.

Almost one and two venture capitalists are men from Harvard or Stanford. And then that number is understanding it because I bet the amount of capital deployed is more like 60 or 70% for men from one or two schools. And whether, no matter how progressive they are or how many subscriptions in New York, times they have, a lot of VCs are formerly successful entrepreneurs or they look at their past success. If you're a 50-year-old VC partner, all the money you've made, all the unicorns have been run by white, heterosexual dudes. So regardless of what you think the world should be, you have a bias towards pattern recognition and you're just subconsciously more likely to back a straight white male because that's what you know.

So unless we modulate for that, unless we say, okay, we have to have more female partners. You can't have 27 to 27. And by the way, the VC fund I'm talking about just, I took money in 2014. So a decade later, it's now probably a third female partners because they got the memo. You know, when I walked out of the room, I'm like, I don't think I can get this round done because someone made the mistake of doing the math and found out the 20, you know, 100% of your partners have outdoor plumbing. And that just isn't, I'm just having a tough time selling this.

to my two female co-founders. So I do think they've gotten a memo, but there's so much work still to be done because there's a built-in bias. My pattern recognition is to back this certain type of person, and that certain type of person, whether I want to admit it to myself based on past success, is a white male heterosexual. Now, what will change that is I was, I sat next last night to a woman of color who started this healthcare startup that just raised money to $6,000.

billion dollar valuation. Nothing sells success like success. And as soon as we start having more and more huge outcomes run by female or non-white founders, nothing sells like greed, right? I just spoke to this conference in Germany. Like, how can the German startup economy can't go going? I'm like, it's really easy. You get a couple $10 billion plus IPO unicorns, capital's going to flow in. We still need that big win. I mean, there's, you know, the biggest win so far when I think about the iconic female in tech at Cheryl Sandberg, but she was still the number two. I mean, there's some people rent the runway, away luggage, there's some female founders. Sarah Blakely. There's some. But what we need to really get money flowing into that is we need some

big wins. But we also just need to modulate and call people out. And this is across, you know, someone called out Nike's board and said, okay, why is the board all white when all of your endorsed athletes and your consumers are non-white? Anyway, I think you still face more. more obstacles than people like me, I think it's gotten dramatically better over the last 10 years. That's good. That's encouraging. Yeah. Yeah.

And we obviously encourage women to start businesses. And it's done nothing besides encourage me to be much more on top of our game, you know? Yeah. Well, thanks for indulging us with that. We really appreciate that was self-serving for us. But we wanted to chat with you about it. Well, we got through most of what we wanted to talk about. You guys are done.

You've had it. You're like, get this guy out of here. We're going up on the hour. We don't know what you got going on. So I read your book actually the four years ago. I worked for Amazon. I didn't know that that was yours. You worked at Amazon? I did. What did you do there? I worked in sales for their restaurant division, which closed down. Wow. But yeah, I read your book. I didn't know that was yours.

Yeah, that was me. By the way, it's being turned into original scripted series. It took me seven years to get it done. That's amazing. Congratulations. Yeah. I'm super excited. Oh, wow. That's awesome. I'm very excited. So I'm going to move to L.A. by a portion, get a cocaine habit. I'm going to try and lean into all of us. Perfect. We do all that. We can help you. Yeah. I'm a little out on cocaine, but I can get back in. Are you going to bring your wife or you're going to find a younger one? Oh, no. I'm going to go much hotter, much younger, and then end up in a hotel and hang myself.

I just really want to go out with a certain amount of panache. That's the full L.A. experience. Yeah, you really did it. Yeah. Notice I'm wearing a house that's Beverly Hills Hotel. We have those hats. I'm a cliche of a guy who's finally got a deal in Hollywood. We actually signed our podcast deal at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

We bought the hats. Yes, we ordered that $80 salad. I bought the merch. I'm like, it's a big day for us, you know. But this was incredible. We really appreciate you making the time. Do you want to tell people where they can find you? It's harder not to find me to resist his feudal.

I'm like AOL in the 90s. You stick your hand into a cereal box and you're going to pull out something of mine. Okay. I have five different podcasts, pivot, prop G, raging moderates. I do a newsletter that goes half a million people every Friday called No Mercy to Malice. I write books. So, yeah, I'm a total content whore. Okay.

Well, you guys know where to find us, Girls Gotta Eat.com for tour tickets. You can follow us at Girls' Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess, Raina is reina. org, vibes only.com for that sexual wellness business we mentioned. Subscribe on YouTube. Share this episode with a friend, and we will see you Thursday. Have a good couple days, guys. Bye.