Girls Gotta Eat - What's In and What's Out for Dating in 2023

Episode Date: January 9, 2023

It's a new year with new dating goals and new trends on the horizon, and THE STREETS ARE CALLING! We're breaking down what experts and our listeners are expecting for 2023, from conscious swiping to skinny kings to "death of the dinner date," and more. We're also talking about what we're NOT doing anymore and how to manifest what we want. Before we dive in, we're recapping Ashley's hometown holidate, Rayna's NYE booty call, and books we're loving. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for SNACK CITY 2023 tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Daily Harvest: Get up to $40 off your first box at dailyharvest.com/gge. Blueland: Get 15% off your first order at blueland.com/gge. Babbel: Get up to 55% off your subscription at babbel.com/gge. Helix: Get up to $200 off all mattress orders plus 2 free pillows at helixsleep.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The one that made me laugh out loud, skinny kings. Always a big dick. Find me a skinny man with a small dick. Find me one. I've never seen it. Back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. This is the last episode in the New York studio. I feel really emotional about it.

We're recording in Ashley's bedroom right now, actually, which is so funny. It really feels like a home now because you brought the plant up here, which is taking up 20% of the space. Your clothing is everywhere. I went to the bathroom. Your clothing is drying in the bathroom. a lot. You're sleeping on this couch. I've been living in this studio. I've been living studio life. I will tell you, this couch is pretty comfortable to sleep on, but it's not made for two. And Azul still has to sleep with me. I've just been curled around him. I prioritize

his comfort over mine. If you're watching right now, he's up on the top of the couch. He, oh, he's going to thrive in L.A. Every day I think about you guys, I tell you every day, I'm like, what are they doing? What are they doing? It's, it's tight in here. Yeah, but I've been doing it. Yeah, because I moved out to my apartment. I've been beating myself up a little that I didn't plan the best, but it's okay. We made it through. What would you have done differently?

Scheduled to move closer to the leave date. But I wanted to do it before I left for the holidays. I don't know what I was thinking. But it's fine. I've been living in the studio. I like it. It's cozy. It's cozy.

But it's like, I kind of like watch the TV on my laptop. That's what I think about. And I'm like, what's she doing? I'm thinking like, where's the TV? And then I just like go work out in the corner. But the plant, it does take a blow. I came and I put my bag down and Ashley shot me a look. And I was like, how much time do we have before she tells me to get my bag on?

You put your bag on top of my clean clothes that are coming to L.A. You put on top of a white bikini. You really shot me a look. And I was like, how many seconds do we have before she breaks this up? So, we're moving to L.A. tomorrow, essentially. So this is our last recording here. Tonight is my last sleep in my apartment. I feel really sad about it, but I feel excited.

My anxiety is through the roof, but I'm very excited. What about what? I don't know. It's just a big change. Yeah, okay. And then every time I feel anxious, I look up my house and I think about, like, all the things we're going to get to do, and then I feel good. It's just change. It's scary.

Yeah. But it's like a temporary change, maybe. Yeah, we'll see. But I'm excited tonight. I was going to do a worst mistakes dinner. We're going to go to all the bars. I've made all my worst mistakes at. We was going to go to Bua and then sauce for dinner and then spring lounge.

So if you guys live in New York, all the time. I've slept with the worst people. Comes from those places. But I settled on 12 chairs. We have a nice dinner before we leave. You're invited. You're not coming, but you're invited. Listen, I drank a lot of New Year's Eve,

and I'm still recovering. Like, we're recording this in the second. Yesterday was a rough day. It's fine. I knew what I was getting into. We had this really fun party at this wine bar. If you guys are in New York, you should go check it out.

It's so cute. It's new. It's called Rake Wine Bar. It's in the East Village. There's a, like, wine shop attached to it, which is really cute. And then it's just like a small, cozy, intimate place. They've incredible wine. The food is really good and just great vibes. And

we basically went there. I went there with a couple of their girlfriends and I don't know a few weeks ago, a month or so ago. It was like, what if I could have a party here? And so I just DM them and we set it up. And so it was really fun. I have to tell you, because I got there a little bit before you, Jeremy and I went to like set up a little bit. You chose the staff like just couldn't have been nicer and more accommodating. I feel like I was doing like a live show where it was like setting like the volume of the music and the lighting. I felt like I was like, you know, setting up. And They were so nice about food and what we wanted, and I just really loved them. So if you guys were in New York, the staff is really, really great.

I just, there were just bottles everywhere. I just grabbed a rosé bottle. I was drinking out of the bottle the whole night. I stayed up till five. Like, I was like, I'm going hard. I went home at two, and I saw your Instagram story from 515 in the morning, and I was like, where'd she go? Like, we left our party, like 1.30 or so. Then I went to back to the stand.

I'd been at the stand earlier doing shows, went back there with a group, and Julia was there and then like eight of us like Dylan was there Dylan and his new girlfriend like a group of us went back to Julia's house and we watched music videos for like three hours I didn't even tell you like we well we did a lot of bad bunny Julia loves bad bunny yeah because Julia loves exactly like all the Latin rappers I just wanted to. He dressed like one for for Halloween. And then I, we were watching like old Wu-Tang videos and like everyone's kind of

drunk. Some people were high. And like the observations, I was like, Wu-Tang had so many members. Like I was supposed to be oh, Wu-Tang was huge. But like, they had like eight people. Like a football team. Of course I knew this, but it was funny to watch the videos. You're like, that's so many people. So I was like, put on the triumph video. So we're watching like Wu-Tang. Like, do you remember the video? with the bees and it was like, ooh. Like, we were, I was like, jumping on jaw roll.

Like, we were watching all these old deep cuts. This one's really fun. And then I was like, it's 4.30. I have to go home. So I came up and slept on my couch in the studio. It was really fun. Like, I don't, it's the New Year starts on the second, if you really go hard. Well, for us last year, last year, I was a third.

Well, last year, we woke up. Again, I don't drink as much as I, like, used to, but I'm getting drunk one of the two. I'm getting drunk probably New Year's Eve or New Year's Day. So if I wake up fresh New Year's Day, it's on. Actually, so last year, I kicked everybody out at like 1245. It's just, I had a party. I was cleaning up on my knees by 1 a.m. And I went to bed. And Bobby and Izzy wanted to go to brunch and you were like, Raina won't do it. She's not going to show up. But that's cute that she said she would. And I woke up and we rallied. I was so fucked up on January 2nd. Yeah. It was the worst day of my life.

So anyways. So days January 2nd, listen, I'm thriving. I did the 30-minute Whitney Houston ride. Raina, I couldn't even crack a window. I was singing too. I cried. I sang. I usually cracked that window in my home,

and my studio home. And I cracked it and then I started singing so loud. I started singing where do broken hearts go so loud that I shut the window. I was like, people will hear this. And it's going to reverberate through the courtyard. And when you got your AirPods in, so I don't, you don't know what you do on your bike. You have a different vibe.

I put my AirPods in. Full volume. The whole hallway is it. Right. That's really loud. It's pretty inconsiderate. And I'm singing, yeah. So I have my AirPods in.

So my singing voice is even worse. Like, I went so hard. I'm really happy with that. That was my first ride of the year. Oh, God. I'm glad. It's nice to just like scream it out. I did cry a little bit.

Yeah, I like to cry on the bike. Yeah. I don't work out anymore, but my New Year's resolution is to stop working out. Stop. Stop. That's so funny. You know, I've been eating more healthy, so I know. I'm just, I don't work out anymore, you guys.

No. It's so funny because this isn't even the first episode of the year. We're still going hard on this New Year's stuff. Also, really quick, this was a while back, but I did just want to recap the holidays really quick and say we had so much fun on Christmas. And, I mean, the highlight of my holidays was just being around Baby Jay. I miss him actively every day. I miss him so much.

It makes me sad to be away from him for the next few months, but that was just the best part. and then I figured you might want to talk about the appetizer contest. Okay, I'm glad that we're going to be. Also, I acted cool. I played a cool with Jay, and I had to have a lot of self-talk. Leaning up to it, I was like, don't scream, don't hog the baby. I wasn't worried. I was.

But you did stay true to your tradition and get blackout drunk on Christmas Eve. I was like, how's she going to wake up for Christmas? When you walked over to the house, you looked fucked up. You had your pajamas on. Your hair was all messy. I was like, right at this blackout drunk. Like, you, you were drinking whiskey with my dad. I was like, how did you?

This tweet about, I forgot about this and I was making funny of you for not knowing who Franco Harris was. And I woke up and I read this tweet. I was like, I was funny last night. Well, and it's, we, like, Jay was sleeping so we had to be a little bit quieter. But we were laughing so hard. And then I remember going, I was just on Twitter and I go, I said, wait, Drake has a BBL. and you laughed.

Tweeted, I'm glad people are talking about Drake's BBL. And I was like, there wasn't much more about it. Now I'm like, I'm like, so glad you told me because I don't know about this. If you're new here, we do this. My family does an appetizer contest and it's every Christmas Eve. And it's always been this battle between Raina and Steph. But Steph's never even won first place. No.

Even though her dishes are always iconic. and I always like just phone it in and make queso. But-Caseo was excellent this year. You really, I was unsure what was going to happen with what you're making. There was a minute where I was like, what? No, I get second pretty much every year. I used to shrimp dishes every single year. Matt makes shrimp, shrimp saviche from Buck.

Your brother made fried shrimp, he made shrimp toast. I lose to shrimp every four scump-based contest. Yes, it is. Buck won this year. Buck, it's either Buck or your brother. So what I decided to do, I was going to make mini chicken pot pies, which I think is such a crowd pleaser.

And if you guys can get little pie shells, just what, like, a great thing to, like, individual little mini pot pies. But then I was talking to your mom about it on the way, and she was like, Ashley's dad, and I don't eat chicken, so it's a handicap. And I was like, so then I had the last minute, change everything I was doing.

So I was, like, really set on these, like, individual pot pies. So I made, like, a seafood stew. And I was like, this is not good. I, like, I got scallops, shrimp, and crab. and I, like, made like a seafood stew and put that in place of what that would have been, and I made little biscuits on the top of it. It was weird. It was so good.

Thank you. I appreciate it. It was delicious. And then my dad ate all the leftovers. I didn't even know there were leftovers. I was positive. I feel like there was everything because we had so much food. But, yeah, a couple days later, I tried to get in there.

And my mom was like, oh, my God, your dad ate that the next day. He'd had it for, like, Christmas breakfast. A man after my own heart. There is no. I'll eat any kind of food at any hour of the day. Like, I'll eat pasta. Yeah. Totally.

Cold. You love a morning salad. Yeah, I do love a morning salad. I haven't got an airport morning salad in a while. There's always tomorrow. But yeah, and then you read the winners and I got second. No one was more shocked than me. Yeah.

That was a weird dish. It was weird. I'm surprised some of the people that you beat out with that. Yeah, everybody. I'm surprised I beat queso with that, honestly. Well, I did a dip. I did a dip threesome. Some people would call it a trio.

I'm calling it a threesome where I did. Well, actually Matt made the corn salsa. And then I did homemade guacamolea coiopole and then my rotel caseo dip. Shout to Valvita. And that made crab dip. So I got second. I still might do the chicken pot pies next year. I still think that they're amazing.

I think you should just do it. I love it. And I put a lot of like ur. I put like rosemary, sage, oregano. My pot pie leaks. I make a great pot pie. Yeah. So I got second.

That's your update guys. Every year. Always a bridesman. Okay. Can I talk about something else funny? I want to talk about your show. It's your show. So if you guys are curious of like how we're doing this move,

we basically just packed up. like our clothes and things that we're going to want over the next three to four months. We might extend four months. And we sent them via FedEx. And Rob, who is like, you know, my best friend, our best guy friend. And my father. It's like our dad. Yeah.

He was like, I have this FedEx account. And you guys can just use it and print the label, schedule a pickup. And I felt like over the next few days, I was treating him like he worked for FedEx. Yeah. I feel like the questions I was asking him, he was like, I don't work. work for them, Ashley. I told you the Rob printed my labels for me and you were like, you had to do all that.

And I was, I'm so jealous. I spent so much time. Because Rob is very like, if you want, I'll do it for you. I'm like, no, I like to figure things out for myself. Like every once in while I will just, you know, let him step in, whatever. But I was like, I will figure this out. You don't need to do this. You know, you've done enough.

We're using your account. And he said it since 97. That's crazy. I wasn't even born. I wasn't even alive then. I wasn't even born that. Ew. And so he, like, he, like,

let us, like, use it. I mean, we're going to pay him back, but because you get these crazy discounts. But it was so, I just had the thought in my head of, like, the way that we're treating him is, like, he's customer service for VEDX. Like, I'm sure the questions you're asking him on the side are the same type as mine. I'm like, wait, why won't they pick up on this day? He's like, Ashley, it's a holiday. I don't know. I sent him a screenshot that said my staff was being delivered on Tuesday and I was like, they're going to require a signature, right? Because like, like, or do I need to change my flight? He was like, rain at literally says signature required. No, I was like, do I need to do a signature required? He was like, yes, Ashley. I was like, how much should I do

do for the value. He was like, what's the value? You figure it out. Sometimes I turn into a child around him because he's so capable. He does stuff for us. I know. I was like, I need to do. He was like, I did ask me if you guys. He was like, this will take me three minutes. Just send me the sizes of the boxes. I was sending you the labels. And then he was like, he sent me bullet pointed instructions of how to like tape it up, which ones do you use? I was like, are we going to be charged for all 14 if I don't use all 14 labels? And he was like, no, that's not how that works. You get charged this stuff. You use. Like, he really, I'm glad to you have the same experience. Well, he's so patient with us, but it was very funny because at some point he had to be like, I don't work for them.

You guys got to figure this out of your house. He's really not going to like it when I make him do this to return all this stuff too. Maybe we'll figure out the better way. But I am so excited to be there. And I just want to say one thing that like I already have a comedy show there. I'm really excited. And if you're listening, it'll be like the Sunday the 15th. So Sunday the 15th, that's seven at the Hollywood Improv. I'm going to post it. But Andrew Collin and I are going to run a show. I'm so excited. I just, yeah. It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun. Because such a fun thing that we did in New York was I ran the show at the stand with Francis

and like we would always, Raina would always come and it would be all of our friends. And so I just kind of want to recreate that. So you guys, if you're in L.A., come out. Andrew Collin. I'm just so excited. We're like reuniting. He's one of our besties.

And he's like an OG of the podcast. He's been on more times. The most of anybody besides Jared and maybe like one other person. But three times, I think, four times. I just love him so much. I can't wait for the show. And the show is called Hot and Funny.

Anna designed this really amazing flyer. That's very different than anything. I told her, I was like, I've never had a flyer for anything I've done that's not pink or purple. Oh, yeah. It's like, masculine. It's sexy. There's brick and fire. Well, I was like, I want a flame theme.

She was probably like, okay. You do great, Anna. Yeah, we love it. Yeah, I can't wait for the show. Okay, hot and funny. See you guys there. Okay, you have a story. I have a story.

Well, sort of. You know this, but I'll tell the listeners. What are you? I have this dating thing that happened. I might save him. for the episodes. We're talking about like dating trends. I can't decide. I read this quote though, and I've been thinking about it a lot. It's not about dating, but it's just, I think it's good energy to bring into the New Year. So I just want to say it to you on the podcast. It said who you are is

not your fault, but it is your responsibility. And I've been really like thinking about this a lot. And it's not, I don't have like a lot to say about it. I just, that's like the energy I think I want to bring into the New Year. And I think a lot about people that have gone through terrible things in their life and that take responsibility for how they appear in the world. Because nothing that's happened to you is your fault ever. I just, I'm really inspired by all the people that are just constantly working on themselves. And I don't know. It's just, I wanted to say it on the podcast.

I just, I found it to be an inspiring quote. I love that quote. It's so funny. I was watching this TikTok about this woman, she's a white woman and she's from the South. And she was talking about just like internalized racism. And she really stated it in a really powerful way for like other white people to hear. And it was like along that line of she was like, this is who I am. I don't get offended when people even say I'm racist because I was like,

born into like this type of lifestyle, but it is my responsibility to work on it and change these things. I think that's the perfect example. And I think that of course, if you come from extreme trauma, it's really hard to work on yourself. And I'm so impressed by people that will go to therapy and just address their issues. But that's the perfect thing. It's like I was born into this thing. So it's not my fault. But you can try to change how you are and how you appear in the world and how you treat others. And I'm always like interested in people that are like, well, it's not my fault because I went through XYZ and it's like, but some people went through XYZ and they're not like this and they don't treat people poorly.

You know? Yeah, I love that way you framed it. Totally. Yeah, so anyways, I just want to say it on the podcast. Okay, great. Great. A little nugget. Let's make a quote. Instagram quote thing. Quote, quote of the day. Q-O-T-D. I want to tell you, I want to credit the right person. Oh, his name is Corey Muscara, M-U-S-C-A-R-A.

So that's who the quote was from. He's a once monk teacher, writer, speaker. I don't know anything about this person. He's verified on Instagram, but that's who I attribute it to. Okay. Yeah. So good energy to bring it in the new year. Okay. What is your story of you tell me?

So, well, you know this, but I just thought it would be something funny for the listeners and they can mull it over. So I did go on a sort of date. I don't know. Over the holidays, whatever. It was like I had a fun night. We ended up at this holiday market, which it's in Delaware. It's called Shellville. It's unreal.

You've got to go next year. It's just like the biggest holiday extravaganza of like ever seen. And the Starbird has a bar there. So they have this like ski chalet style bar. So fun. And this guy that I've been. I've gone on a few dates with over the past year plus just showed up. We hadn't spoken and it's kind of fun.

Someone like you're, you're kind of hoping to see just shows up. At a holiday market is this the most hallmark bullshit you've ever. It was such a hallmark movie. And he ended up hanging out with us a whole night. Like he kind of like abandoned his group. I mean, I love his like family and the people. I know all these people anyway.

But he just kind of like hung out with me and we ended up going like down this. There's like a tubing slide that like we just waited in line for it forever. We were like drinking. drinking, we ate, you know, it was like this fun night. It shuts down kind of early. I think Shell Bowl closes it like nine. We'd been there since six. And I was like, I want to go to raw. So this bar, Starboard Raw. So we go there. I had two espresso martinis, which is the max. You've erred to three. You're fucked. But I had two. I started getting heart palpitations after two. So I had some wine. So, you know, I still had some drinks. But we were having fun.

Like, we have good conversation. I've known him now for quite some time. We've gone on some dates, like whatever we've hooked up before. And so it was fun, but he wasn't drinking that much. And then he drove me home back to Mats. And, like, I was thinking that we would like, maybe make out in the car. It's so weird.

This is happened before. He's, like, driving me back to my brother's house, you know? And we get back in the driveway and he just gets out of the car pretty quickly. And I was like, oh, all right, well, whatever. And I just was in some, like, sassy, spicy mood and I was like,

what are you doing? And he was like, I'm going to walk you to the door. And I was like, no, you're not. My brother has a ring doorbell. There's no way. We're walking to the door. Matt can roast you the whole day. Forever. Literally forever. I walked

through that spider web in the summer. I was like, Matt, I just thought we'll walk through a spider web. Within seconds he sent me the footage of me, like, squatting away. Like, I was like, if a guy drops me off and my brother sees it on his, he would get up right then. I bet my brother could feel it and he would wake up and I would never live it down. If you guys were listening, you have like younger brothers, older brothers, like siblings at all.

Like they would never let you live that down to watch. My brother would play that forever. It would be every family holiday. My brother would put it on at my mom's house. Want to look at rain on this date? It just was kind of awkward. We've had some awkward moments like for sure, for sure. I don't think that we're a match.

I don't know if we like each other. I can't tell. we have a good time. That's so funny. I can't tell. I think we should, we're just friends, honestly. I think he feels that way. I think I feel that way. But I mean, in the moment, I was like, we should be, we should make out, whatever. Like, we've been drinking. It's a hallmark movie night, you know. Yeah. So I just was like a little annoyed. And again, I was in this like, spicy mood. So he was like, I was going to walk you to the door. I'm like, no, you're not. Like, Matt's not going to see this. And I was like, we were supposed to make

out in the car. And then I just threw up peace signs and walked in. If you've listened to this podcast for a few years, this is an Ashley Hustleton's signature move when she doesn't get what she wants at the door. If you remember around COVID times, she also threw P signs and bounced into the... I think we're making out and we don't. You're getting a P sign and we're never going to talk again.

So we haven't spoken, but I think he is great and nice and we've had fun together and that's just all it is. I think he thinks I'm a little much and a little crazy and my bitch. Well, the peace signs will let him find it if he didn't think it bad. No, I feel like we've, and this is good like on theme for any of episodes. We're talking about Dane Chen 2023. I think it's just important to like reframe your mind that like not every person has to be the person you fall in love with. There's merit to like every type of person.

This guy is just somebody that like you have a romantic connection. You get to go on dates with him when you're home. Apparently not. No, keep on. Sorry. But like it, not everything has to be like a where is this going situation. I think we put so much pressure on ourselves one weekend to be like, am I going to marry this guy?

And it's just like, I don't know. Some people are fun just going to date with. Not this guy, but it was fun until I didn't get what I wanted. But it's totally true. I love that. This is like someone I sometimes run into sometimes hang out with, you know, have hooked up with drunkenly one night, like when I'm home. And it's fine.

And he's great. And I don't know that he'd say I was great. I think he likes you. I think he would say she's entertaining. Yeah. Well, he entertains you too. That's all it's for. I was trying to sleep with my one-night stand from a few weeks ago on New Year's.

And those texts, I don't even know what it was. No one. Listen, he texts me with its few words and syllables as humanly possible. Like all the time? All the time. We don't speak sentences to each other. He's like your dad. Yeah.

But except for he doesn't write L-U-V-U at the end of every single one. No one disrespects me more. It's really shocking. I don't care. You do it too. Like, do you feel like you're. respecting him? No. Yeah, not at all. It's a mutual disrespect. It's a mutual disrespect.

I mean, we try to literally use as few words with each other as possible. Saturday, he wrote sup. I wrote, yo. He said, what doing? He can't even be bothered to write. What are you doing? I wrote party. It's so rude. It is literally, like, I don't respect you at all. So I wrote party. And he wrote where, and I wrote

East Village, you, and he wrote now, wrote why. He said, want to hang. I said can't. He said okay. I said, okay. He said, let's hang. I said, you won't. He said, what? I said, we'll see. He said, oh, wow. At 1034, I sent WID. He said, come over. I said, come out. He said, come here. I said, no. He said, he said, K. He said, K. I said, K. And then at 1 a.m. I said, W.D. Let's play. He said, let's. I said, give me your address. He said, what? I said, give me your address. He said, are you coming? And I said, are you coming? And I Nah, home.

Oh my gosh. I'll send this to Anna. I want to show this Instagram story I have where I pay in the room at the New Year's party and you hold up your phone. And if you look closely, you can see that it's just teeny, tiny little text bubbles going back and forth. I'm going to have Anna put it up on the screen. Yeah, please do.

And I like laugh so hard in the video. It's really so funny. I mean, I just don't care. And I don't think he does either. It feels nice. It feels nice. And it's funny because, like, we have a bunch of friends in common, and everybody keeps being like, he's so great.

Isn't he so great? Oh, he's the best. Like, literally, no. He's literally the worst person I've ever met, actually. This guy couldn't respect me less. So, yeah. And vice versa. Okay.

One thing, rec-wise, so I have continued my Colleen Hoover journey, which I had said that I read Verity, which was a weird Colleen Hoover book to start with. You guys probably know Colleen Hoover is if you're on TikTok or in the world. And why is Verity where do you want to start with? Well, I'd explain on the podcast how she wrote this book and published it independently because it was like so different than her other books and it was like super fucked up and twisted. I love it.

Verity, I recommend it. But that's how it started my calling Hoover journey. So everyone was like, do it ends with us. And it starts with us. It ends with us. It comes first. It starts with us as a sequel. And oh my God, the way I blew through these, the way that they're like living in my soul.

I like miss them. I miss them. I miss the beach. I bought it ends with us. It browsed about books, which is my favorite bookstore at the beach. And then I bought the sequel. I ran out and got it the next day at the Strand. So I did like one more stop at the Strand before I left New York.

And if you know, you know. But so good. Maybe I'll take it with me. If you could take them both. I mean, I don't know. Raina, you feel like don't really like fiction. But I feel like these two books I've been seeing on Instagram like more than anything.

I mean, they're unbelievable. I don't, I know that I need to like get into them. I mean, there are love stories, but there's like trigger warning. There's some abuse. I think it comes, I need to read the full story. I think it comes from her personal experience. Don't quote me on that. But Colleen Hoover, I think she's writing from experience.

I should have looked this up. And I mean, I don't even, I love them. I, like, blew through them so quickly. I like, I get it. Like, again, I say this all the time. I'm a basic ass bitch. I knew I would love that. Everyone's like, you're going to love it.

I don't need to be counterculture. I don't need to be like, no, I don't read the books that everyone loves. Like, I'm going to like a bestseller. I'm the most basic bitch on the planet. I'm leaning into it. I knew I would love them. Like, so those are my recs, hot take, calling Hoover. But, okay, here's the fascinating thing.

It ends with us, the first one. Again, remember, they're kind of backwards. It ends with us as first. It starts with us the second. She was never going to write a sequel, too. It ends with us. She was like, I don't need to write about these characters trauma anymore. I want to let it lie.

The internet forced her into it. It starts with us. Is the sequel, but is it like really like a prequel? No, it's not a prequel. And that's what I originally thought. It's not. It's just, it's like those are the names. But so you, yeah, you almost are like, do I care about a prequel?

Not a prequel. It's a sequel. Okay. So it gets a little confusing. She even writes it at the end of the book. She's like, I wasn't going to do this, but you guys, like, bullied me into it. And I'm so grateful you did. Like, literally, like, people were like, we need more.

And we need to know what happens with these two characters, Lily and Atlas. Like, she, I love it. I love that the internet was like, you know, you don't. You better get to writing, Colleen. I see it all the time on Instagram. So I'll take it with me. Okay. All right.

Well, I have it both for you. We also actually got me to watch a late Christmas Hallmark movie. Your mom hated the comedy. I'm so glad you brought this up. On Christmas Day, we watched the Lindsay Lohan falling for Christmas on Netflix. It's the peak of me being a piece of shit, being at your parents' house on Christmas day. I don't put on clothes until 4 p.m.

I'm sweaty and gross and I just eat and do nothing. We watch that movie, the Lindsay Lohan movie. So here's the thing. Ray and I are, most of our friendship is based on talking shit and making each other laugh. That's really, I mean, yes, we love each other, we support each other or whatever. Yeah. We run two businesses. but that's how we bond the most.

And I love that movie, but it is cheesy. It's not as cheesy as like Hallmark. It's Netflix. It's great, but it is a cheesy Christmas movie. So Ray and I are talking shit the whole time. Never stop. And my mom, like, didn't love it. She was like, girls, you're so.

She's like, I wish I could have enjoyed it, but you're commentary the whole time. It's like, you're welcome for this free comedy show. You just got to come to an exclusive experience with girls got to eat. Love your mom. I know. My mom was kind of upset that you didn't eat her pie. Every year she needs to be upset about one thing I won't eat. She gets upset. So I have to kind of talk. I have to tell her like, you know, Raina was full and she's not like so huge on desserts. And she was like, but I asked her before if she would like that kind of pie. So here's the thing. You are this like food person. So what you like and what you eat of her is she actually, she just takes extra.

Oh, I didn't know. Yeah. It means more. Okay. All right. Well, then I had to explain to her. I was like, mom, Raina's fucking weird. I was like, she's not, don't even, she's, she's going to have weird, just, you can't base your culinary skills on whether rain eats or not. Well, there's a lot of weird shit going on. Yes, she's a, she's a great palate, she knows food, whatever, but don't worry about her. She's got a weird shit going on. I was like, Mom, you should have seen where Raina chose to eat on my birthday. She went to this dusty little convenience store in Spain. in Barcelona.

And it was really nice to eat sardines that were sitting out. They've been sitting out for who knows how long. That's what she did on my birthday. And I think about that a lot how rude that was. It was so rude. I was like, no, it was a bad birthday. But I had to kind of tell her, like,

I did talk a little shit on you. I was like, don't even worry about what was she like. What was worse? Your birthday that year or New Year's Eve, 2021? Alone at that hotel. My birthday this year was pretty brutal because we started the day with you being a selfish bitch. And then I got blisters and then my flight got canceled.

So, yes. But I was like, my life is great. We went to Greece. I'm not complaining. But yeah, it was the worst birthday I've had in terms of Raina, choosing not to have a meal with me, then leaving me, and then going to the airport and then also getting blisters and then flight delay. Flight canceled.

Yeah, it was selfish. Already had a lot of talks in December about her birthday in July. Well, everybody's trying to plan a trip. Yeah. Sydney's fine. I mean, she loves you, obviously, like a daughter, but. Well, there's a lot of, she's really, she's sensitive. She is sensitive.

There's also a lot of things that I don't eat, which I should just send her the list ahead of time. Oh, the peppers, yeah. Last year was peppers. I don't, bell peppers, I won't put them in my mouth. I don't even like them. They can't be adjacent to anything. I'm eating.

I can't pick around them. Green beans I don't really like. Fenil I don't really like. There's a lot of vegetables. I'm just not a huge fan of. Yeah, I think just get ahead of it for next year. Write a list. She's sensitive.

Yeah, she is sensitive. I feel like I did hurt her feelings. That pie looked bomb. Why don't you want it? Stephanie made 19 types of pasta. I know. There was two fresh pastas. No one needed all that pasta.

Yeah. Chicken cutlets. There was Caesar salad. Meatballs. Yeah. Oh, I forgot about the meatballs. We did Italian two years in a row now. I love it.

It's my favorite tradition. Ashley keeps it all the whole meal. Love it. Well, so here's the thing. We've just decided to mix it up and we have a Christmas dinner at Matt's house and we do Italian. They make homemade pasta. But I really want to do Mexican, but I'm not going to do it because of you. Thank you.

Oh, yeah. I'll put that on the list. Mexican food. Also bacon, not a huge fan. You know about this. I don't love pork. I'll eat bacon. But it has to be so well done.

It can shatter. Same. You don't like pork belly. I mean, I don't really eat pork. I don't really eat pigs. I just picked an animal that I was like, I feel bad about this. Yeah.

But you still eat octopus. A lot of people won't eat an octopus. Because that movie. Yeah. A lot of people won't eat octopus. That's out for a lot of people. Don't do it. It's my best friend.

I heard it made like a men cry. Yeah, Francis was a lot of dogs. Francis is the most masculine looking man and the softest little mush on the inside. I mean, he's the one that, like, talk me into the breast reduction. Like, every other man, our friend's husbands were like, don't do it. He really is like he's, like, super thoughtful and sensitive. And, like, he has a high EQ.

Yes, he does. He's married. Sorry, girls. Yeah. All right, well, I have like a little date story about you during the episode. Perfect. And that's it. I forgot to mention Emily in Paris season three.

Oh, yeah. I've been really into it. It was so, do you watch it, Anna? Yeah, everybody watches it, but you know, I'm the only one. I know, I know. Anna, do you love it? Oh, yeah. Oh, obviously, yes.

There's like a great story. Do you think she's gay or do you think she's dabbling? What do you think? Yes, there is a lesbian storyline in season three. Oh, bisexual. Yeah. I'm not going to watch it. I'm just, maybe.

I guess it's not really for you. I just, you know, the first season was so corny. And then, I mean, whatever. It's like a predictable show. And then I said the second season I actually liked it. I wasn't hate watching it. And now I'm fully in. I love it so much.

It's like the boast feel good. It's so easy to watch. It's so fun to watch. It's so beautiful. The fashion. The guys are so hot. I watch the shittiest trash on earth. No, no.

I just think you might like it. You're not going to do it. You think it's on the plane? On the plane? Tomorrow. Oh, do they do? I don't know. I don't know.

Netflix. Yeah, just download it. We'll see. But I'm like, anyway. I love season three. Again, I can't recommend welcome to the Chibbendales enough. Oh, yeah. I have to get into that. I said that last week or the last episode. I don't know. I'm watching anything. I just finished the hills. Anyway, let's get into it. I can't do this again.

Okay, dating trends, 2023. That's what we're talking about today. So this is inspired by an article that you found. We'll talk about the article. And then we pulled our listeners and asked you guys what you thought dating trends would be in 2023. Really overwhelmingly we saw like a bunch of them just same, same, same, same. And I love the energy people to bring into this year. So I did my reading with Kelly. This is Kelly Knight. She has been on the show twice. She is the most incredible terror reader, psychic.

She has a shop in Atlanta and a shop here in Olita in New York called Modern Mystic. You guys should check it out. A lot of you guys already had. Actually, if you're on a trip to New York, it is my favorite street to shop on. And it's just so much fun. And her store is just great, like fixture on that street. Yeah. And you can just follow her on Instagram, Modern Mystic underscore shop.

They have a bunch of funny things. We were talking about this the other night. They did the White Lotus characters, like their astrology on their Instagram. Anyway, it's a fun follow. But so she has done terror readings for me, and she has predicted everything in my life with extreme accuracy. So she predicted my entire career back before I ever met Raina. It's crazy. I have the recording.

If you would listen back to it, the way she outlined what would happen in my life professionally in 2017 in June of few months before I met you from the podcast to the touring. It's wild. It's really unbelievable. I mean, she's like, whatever. Well, she made me a believer. I always thought that like all of this stuff was made up and ridiculous. And I met her and I was like, I fully believe in this now. I mean, she's made me cry during readings. She's just really like powerful. Yeah. So we did my reading and we did talk about my love life. And I think that one thing that she said to me, because I said this, I said this last week that I do want to have a relationship this year. And what she said to me, I think kind of fits with what we're talking about today with some of like intentional dating and things like that.

So I also just need to say, I went to go back to listen to last year's episode of my goals for the year. And last year, the episode of 2022, I said I wanted to have more sex. And that's what I did all of 2020. I didn't say I wanted a relationship. All I said was like, I want to have more sex. We're starting this company. And then I just did. Okay. Like, I really feel like I'm good at manifesting and saying it. So I really feel so strongly like when I say it out loud and tell you guys and stuff like that. So anyway, she just said this thing, and I wrote it down from our recording from the terror reading about finding a partner. She does see it happening probably in the second half the year, or close to my birthday. She said, your work should be letting go of any conflicting thoughts,

ideas, and beliefs about partnership. So really watching how you talk about men, talk about relationships, how you think about things, and any sort of doubts or beliefs or phrasing that is contrary to what you want consciously omit from the picture. So she said, I hear you say things like, I have a grateful life. I'm so happy. I don't need a man. She said, I would change that to, I have a grateful life. I'm so happy and I would love a partner to share that with. So she said just those little tweaks, just be fully inviting without any caveats. Because sometimes me or whoever else, she said sometimes those things can also be a defense mechanism. Like you don't want to fully claim what you want in case you don't get it. I don't know. I feel like I'm pretty honest.

Or are you like, but you mean into it and you almost like manifested that you're just like, I don't need one. So I'm not looking for one. Yeah. But I mean, I'm all. When I say that, I meet it. you know, and I just, I don't feel that way right now. Like I do want somebody that's not immediate, but, you know, I do want to find somebody this year that I'm really excited about and that I can be in a relationship with. And she just says, think about your future self and make choices in that way. And she also said you may have to energetically increase your capacity. Like you feel like full. Like you feel like your life is full. Everything's full. Like you may have to really energetically

make space for someone else and consciously think about that. So we're going to talk about some of the trends this year. A lot of it's like just about intentionality and none of this is like brand new shit. But I love that she said that to me and I feel like that I can pass it on to you guys. If you feel as though you are looking for somebody genuinely, that's what you want. Like, don't say things otherwise, you know. I think that you say stuff enough, not you personally, but that you start to believe it. And one thing that a couple years ago, somebody I was dating said to me like, you talk about hating men a lot. This was like in the end of 2020. He was like, you really talk about how terrible men are like continuously. And I had to like sort of think like,

Is that true? Is he exaggerating? But I think sometimes it's hard with this podcast because I hear so many horrible stories. And you and I hear a lot of the negativity that women are going through or men, but just about how terrible men treat them. And it really seeps in sometimes. So I've had to do the work to not constantly be like, men are terrible. I hate men. Men are the fucking worst.

What the fuck are men? I think that you say something enough, you start to believe it. And like that's bad energy for me to bring into data. So I've thought about that a lot over the years too. Yeah. And I think, you know, we can always say things like men are trash. It's like it doesn't mean that all of them are. But like I don't, you know, I'm going to, I want to be aware of like the things that I'm saying that I want, that actually is what I want or what I don't want, you know.

So anyway, that was my, from my reading. And I just, I was like, I was like, I don't think I said I wanted a partner last year. I didn't feel that way. I just wanted to get fucked. Well, I. Here we go. Here we go. It was great.

I feel like moving is an incredible opportunity today. And also, like, people always ask us like, what do I do in a new city? or I feel like I don't have friends and how do I meet people and dating is the best way to feel less lonely, how to meet people, not every relationship is going to turn into a romantic one.

You can just make friends. And so I feel like LA is going to push me to date more because you know me, I want one social interaction a day, maybe. And like I'm full after that. I don't need more, but I'm going to have to work a little harder for social interactions. I don't have as many people I can call there

that can just, that are down the street that can just appear. So I'll have to work a little harder, which I think will inspire me to date more. And I'm excited about that. I also just out, oh, I was just out with Merrill the night. a couple nights ago. And I was like, talking about this exact thing and like the way that I dated when I first

moved to New York, I was like so excited. And that I, that was, that was more than just that first year. You know, I obviously, but now I just, I've been tired of it for quite some time. I think that you have to. And I think you just burn out a little. You need something fresh. Like, I felt very done with Atlanta and was ready to move. And I probably would have moved earlier if I hadn't had met someone.

who I did fall in love with. Like, I felt burnout on that dating scene. I was like, this has just been, it's been too many years of being single and dates. And a lot of it's fun, too, when you have great stories and you have good sex and things like that. But there's also disappointments along the way. And you're like, I just am burnt out.

I can't get it up to date here anymore. Yeah, I'm ready to be disappointed in a different way. Yeah. And I'm not saying that everybody should move or everybody even has that luxury, but I do think that like it's, I just want to validate it, that you can, you've been single for a long time in the same city. it starts to feel like, you're not wrong for being like, I don't want to fucking do this anymore.

And the guys just start to feel the same. And a change of scenery can really help. I think so. And then you start to date, like, people always say like it's so easy to meet on vacation. I think it's like the same energy when you first move to a new say, because you're like, you know, you're new fresh meat.

Yeah. I'm being like way more bold about guys. Yeah, you are. I've really been reaching out. Well, that's your trend for that you're being bold. And the last thing I'll say about intentionality is I was raised by a mother who was really important to her. and I've said it was in the show before, to always instill in me that, like, God forbid,

you know, your husband leaves you or he dies, make sure you can support yourself. And that was like the primary lesson in my home growing up was like, make sure you make money, have a career, you can support yourself. It wasn't date with intentionality, really. Like nobody ever told me, like, don't go out with people you wouldn't marry. Don't go out with people you wouldn't have a long-term serious relationship with. And so as I get older, I hopefully date with more intentionality because I find people that are completely ridiculous and I don't need to like lean into it as much.

I also think that's important too. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I just think we've talked about this with you before, just going after people that are very clearly not going to be a long-term match or they are not emotionally available. And you can do that all the time when you're younger. But if you get, well, you can do it whenever.

But if you feel like you want a partner, then those are the behaviors you have to just like keep tabs on. Yeah. So this article, I mean, it's from the knot, but they really, they interviewed Shan, Budram, and a couple of experts. So I just found it to be a really great article when I was looking up 20, 23 trends. And we were just going to go through some of them and then sharing our listeners as well. The first one is inflating, which is the buzzy dating term you're about to hear everywhere.

And it just is about inflation and needing to do cheaper dates, which I feel so validated reading these because we've talked about most of them. Like, we were talking about how much we love a cheap date a couple weeks ago, a few weeks, probably months ago at this point. Yeah. And just like, you can have a cheap date. We don't want to date cheap people, but like you can have a picnic. You can do inexpensive things that are still really fun. I'm totally fine with it. I feel like, whatever, you can pay a bunch of money to take me out of date.

I don't care, but the stakes feel a little bit higher. It just feels like a little more like heavy to me. I'm totally fine with like a couple of, I drink beer now, a couple of beers. It says, it says this shift toward affordable dating is echoed by Tinder Statistics 2 in the brand's 2020 review,

tighter year and swipe data from users indicates that the dinner date could soon be dead. I love that. Tinder found that mentions of picnics, 43% mini golf, 56% and drive-ins, 34% in Tinder bios all increased this year suggesting singles are meeting up for more than just dinner and drinks these days.

They're opting for less traditional, more authentic and sometimes sober ways to get to know with one another, other creative activities like camping. Fuck that. Camping. Street food, though. I like street food for you. That sounds amazing. I love this.

I love that the mentions in the bios is like more popular and probably getting people more of those type of dates. I love a mini golf date. I love a mini golf date. I love a food festival. I was suck your dick on site. I love the idea of it.

And we can try a bunch of stuff and walk around. I just don't, I'm not signing up to sit down a dinner with a person. Like, you've done it recently and you wanted this like really expensive, nice, fun, fancy date. That's fine, time to time. But it's not really what I want to do necessarily. One thing this article started with that I thought was interesting and we talk about a lot.

But like there's, we're like at this inflection point where there's like more access to dating tips, dating advice, and ever in the history of the world. Like, I remember, and I've talked about this in every interview we've ever done, when I was 28, my fiancé left me, I was like, no one's ever been left by a fiancee. And now I could find 10 million podcasts, tips, TikToks about this. And I think that, like, some of the things that came up, like, I've been hearing about cheaper dates for a while, but I think that, like, we're actually starting to take all this knowledge and really put it into action a lot more.

Because it takes a little while to actually make a habit out of the stuff that you hear. Yeah, I love that. And I'm just even thinking of the date that I mentioned earlier. Like the most fun part of that date was like going down this like waiting in line and just chatting and getting the tubes and like going down this like snow slide. And then having like drinks at the bar. Like I don't want to sit at a table. I'm not trying to go. Across from someone.

I don't want to do it. And maybe there's like some cheese goods that we can order or something. Boo. I just like boo. You're going to go there to bar. Getting wasted there tonight. I just, I like this inflidating and the dinner date is dead in 2023. I love it.

Listen, have dinner. We love dinner. I'm just saying. Just as a sound bite I just, I went out to, when we first started this podcast I went on a dinner date and it was just, it was so long. It was just, I mean, it's just up the ante and I don't want to be there. And I love a Runyon Canyon date.

You know I did a Runyon Canyon day before. You were invited. You didn't come. Well, I knew that I was not supposed to come. Okay. It was like one of those invites you were not supposed to accept. We were in the lobby at the hotel. He was like, Raina, do you want to come?

I was like, stop inviting her. Yeah, but you know that I was never. First of all, it was exercise. And that was before I exercised. And the fact of all, that's not a date you come on. No. So this was years ago, my gosh, we did running canon and then went and got tacos after where. I was like, this is perfect.

That guy's hot. I would watch him walk up running Canyon all day. I would have come just to watch. And if he's single, I'll reconnect. I don't know if sober dating is on this or not, but sober dating. We pulled our listeners also, and you guys really came up with the same step over and over and over again that I loved seeing. Sober dating came up a lot. And I think some people are hesitant to do it, but like, I don't know.

a day and I have like three drinks. I don't remember anything you said. And then I got to admit I don't remember anything you said. Yeah, and I'm an asshole at the end and I just piece. Psy out. The door. Like, yeah, I love sober dating. I should be doing it. And also I just, I'm fun when I'm sober. I don't need a personality drink. I could do better if actually I was sober. I shut the fuck up a little bit sometimes. I mean, this is, again, it's like live your truth. And like, especially when you're younger, the thought of like going on a sober date, I couldn't even imagine. I used to take shots before dates when I was like in my early 20s. But yeah, I don't like when I can hear my voice starting to change or be slurry or just I'm not thinking as quickly.

Like, yeah, so totally. I also just have to, I think that like some people are like, are men intimidated by my success? And I've always said, well, it depends on how you speak about your success and your humility. And I have one too many drinks and I might pop off a little bit about like performing at the Apollo. And it's not attractive on a first date to do that. And I'd rather somebody just look it up. So something that came up from our listeners over and over and over again was death of the dating apps. and I don't think that they'll ever die out.

I think it's a perfect way to meet people, especially if you don't have access to people. But people said that they wanted to make much more of a conscious effort to talk to people in real life and to like approach people at bars and that they've gotten over this like nervousness. And I do think there's just been also, again, so much more dating information in the world in last few years that makes people feel like, I'll walk up to somebody at a bar,

who cares, you know, and say hello. And I think it's so important to just say yes to everything. And that's my intentionality in L.A. Just do things. You'll meet more people. but people are just like, I want to get off the apps, I don't want to swipe, I want to meet people in real life. And it's a huge effort. It was a pain in the ass. You really have to put yourself out there. But I do think that you get really great results. I mean, all my relationships have been people I've met in real life.

Yeah. And we can throw back to John Berger. We recommend both of John Berger's books. First one, Datanomics, the second one, Make Your Move. And I think I'm right about this. I think Make Your Move has the challenge where you actually challenge yourself to meet people other ways other than dating apps. But also one of the trends in this article, and they interviewed Shan for this one as well, was conscious swiping. So just not swiping on somebody just because or like all willy-nilly and really looking at what they have on their profile and considering people before just swiping right. And it says now we're coming to a point in history where self-awareness is at the forefront of conversations, including dating. People are realizing that they need to take their dating lives into their own hands.

And that includes dating with more intention. That quote was from Kirstie Taylor. She's a dating coach and relationship writer that wasn't from Shan. But she says at first the dating app game was just a free-for-all. And people just swipe and hope you find somebody good. And so it's just more intentional swiping. Conscious swiping. I think so much of us are just really learning what we want, what our boundaries are,

what our boundaries don't have to be. And I think that this is really great. I love to hear it. Somebody wrote, if you want to get off the app, the streets are calling. The streets are calling. I want all these to be a soundbite. So it's like the dinner date is dead. dating apps are dead.

The streets are calling. Okay, I love this one. Following research-back dating tips. This is so great. Because again, like you have just been saying, there's just so much more information out there that we didn't use to have. So it just says, you know,

if you've spent any time in social media, you're probably familiar with dating terms like love bombing, gaslighting, attachment style, of course, ghosting. So I guess this is from Shan again. It says people are becoming more savvy in the dating field. Understanding negative and manipulating behaviors and having names for them is a big trend this year.

So I think even just, listen, also sometimes you see these and they're not right. You know, you're just like, that's not what gas lighting is. Like not everybody that puts something in the internet is correct. So look to people that are really speaking the truth and for experts and people like us. But knowing it is so important. And again, it's not like attachment styles. It's not like the book attached is new, but there's so much buzz about it in the recent years. And it's a game changer.

Like something as simple as that is even understanding an attachment style. we did a great episode with Andrew Huberman about it. Like these things are just having knowledge and expertise to back up your dating life. Yeah. So I say it all the time. Like I feel like I didn't. It's not that like being young, you're an idiot. It's just you maybe didn't have access to this information.

You didn't know it. Like I remember my ex when I was like 22. I would be hysterical and he'd be like, I'm sorry. You're making yourself so upset. And like I didn't know the term gaslighting and I couldn't name it. So I didn't really know what was happening. I just knew it would hurt. And I feel like it feels powerful to be able to be like,

I know what this is. I can read the situation. I'm exactly what you're doing. And you feel like you have more power in the situation if you understand it better. And something they came up a lot, actually paying attention to and believing red flags,

spotting them early and bouncing. And having all this information allows you to do that. And you and I talk a lot about not writing every person off for every little thing. Like, if you have a dimple that's misplaced or maybe you've different hobbies, fine. But like real red flags

and somebody tells you something really shitty about themselves in the beginning. Just believe it and move on. Yes. Yeah. And I've even thinking about, like we're talking about gas lighting, that just is an easy example, but love bombing. Like that was, that's a newer-ish term, you know, in the past years since we've probably started

this podcast where before you knew that term or you'd seen anything about it or you've heard it on a podcast or read an article about it, you were like, what is going, something just feels off. And like, why should this, why does this feel like a red flag? This person's like all about me. And then you realize that these things happen. Sometimes they're manipulation tactics or just like where they're coming from. And it just helps.

It all helps. Yeah. The love language has really helped me too. also really not a new concept. Oh my God, I read that. We know my story. I realized my ex was services, and that's when I cooked for him

and he just ate my pussy all night. Yep. Saw that empenada recipe somewhere. But being able to like say to myself, okay, maybe this person doesn't show love in this way, but this is their way of showing love? And is that enough for me? Was like important.

And I dated somebody. I just banged my head against a wall trying to change him. And then once you understand this, you can actually just make an informed decision and move on, which I did. He's hot. The boy didn't work out.

Yeah. All of this is leading you back to Girls Got to Eat. We have tackled all of this in the 251 episodes. So if you're newer here, get in there. And if not, share this with a friend because that's all you need. We've done it all. We'll teach you how to make friends, how to move to a new city, how to get along with your mom, how to date. Okay, I wanted to say this one because I feel like you touched on it earlier about the IRL dating.

It says, chasing the meat cute IRL. So it says more people are realizing that love just won't happen to them. That's the Kirstie Taylor. So if they want to meet someone off of dating apps, they need to go. create situations and moments where they can meet someone in person. And it says, if anything chasing a meet cute, whether virtually or in person, is a great way to preserve the excitement of dating in 2023. Shan says, people used to ask, are you looking for something serious? Are you looking for something fun? But why can't looking for something serious be fun? Yeah. I just, I love it. Because I think everybody

wants that. Everybody wants that rom-com meet cute. And it still happens. Look at your dad. Well. What's going on with your dad? dad and his thruple. He couldn't change it for the hot ones. Well, I had a meat cute I was going to tell you about. So I am trying to Dave more intentionality, put myself out there. And I'm just going for it.

I'm flirting with this one guy that I've decided might be my boyfriend in L.A. Oh, my God, I love him. I mean, he's tall and skinny. We'll talk about it. We'll talk about tall skinny guys. But I really put myself out there the other day. So Jeremy was in my apartment for like 12 hours the other day, my friend Jeremy. Also, but, but, you're not.

Also, by the way, somebody was like, have you guys dated? People ask all the time, have my friend Jeremy and I dated? And I was like, I'm just going to, I don't want to cock block myself because he was on my Instagram story and I was like, I'm just feeling so much for him because he did so much for me. And I was like, I love him so much of him so much of him and I'm going to miss him. And a bunch of people were like, have you guys ever dated will you? And so I put an Instagram story up that was like, no, we've never dated and he's

single, get in there. And then I got a bunch of DMs from our listeners going, girl, do you not realize you admit you fucked him on this podcast? Yeah. And I was like, wait, am I lying? but we never dated. We just slept together a bunch of times. Yeah, your Instagram story, I was like,

I could see where it felt misleading. Just to validate those people. Yeah, I do too. And I was sitting there like, am I a liar? But no, I, it's, hi, it's the problem. I'm the problem. It's me. We never dated.

We just slept together a bunch of times when we first met, like seven years ago. So we've all been there. I'm saying not with Jeremy. We've all fucked our friends. A lot of people, our listeners have been there with Jeremy. I just want to clarify, I haven't. Not Ashley. Okay, let me find you this DM.

So Jeremy is my place, and this guy started making fun of him on Instagram. And what, like, DMing you making fun of him? So, no, this guy Venma requested $27 from Jeremy. And Jeremy was like, what the fuck is this? And basically it said, like, I tried this restaurant that you went to, and you said the Carbonaro was great, and it was terrible, and I want my money back from you. And so he Venmo requested Jeremy. And Jeremy was like, fuck this motherfucker.

And he's like, he finds him on Instagram. And he's, like, arguing with his stuff. guy and Jeremy Venmo's him back for $500. Like, requests it. And then the guy Venmoed him $2. And he was like, I'm just giving you my two cents. And I was like, wait, that's funny. I know. And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, what a loser. Like, he's such an asshole. Then I looked him up. He's hot. He's tall and he's hot. So I said...

Raina, he's an asshole. No, he's funny. So I DM'd him. Oh, my God. I said the two cent Venmo was very funny. We're laughing about it. And he said, I love it. didn't intend to offend anybody. My sister and I are laughing. The waitress is laughing too. Blah, blah, blah. I'm between New York and L.A. Heading back west.

If you want to grab lunch, we'd love to show you around. No. Let me see. Wait, I know him. I'm kidding. He's so hot. Wait, let me find, like, a really good.

Wait, what? This guy is tall and hot. I know. He doesn't post a lot, which is great. Mm-hmm. Seems that friends. As a dog. Well, maybe.

He likes dogs. He likes dogs. Not that you care. He's a little photo. Has some friends. Wait, he stole my caption. What are you right? Q4.

He said Q3 and Q4. Q4 is my caption. That's a lot of people's captions. Well, maybe a second for me. I'm kidding. He's really cute. He's really cute. Okay.

I know. I was like, he's an asshole until I realize that he was tall. He's not giving an asshole. Also, like, it's so interesting. Like, the tone that people think they're taking with you, Like, anytime somebody, Ashley and I do not respond to trolls, I won't do it. You could neg me all day. You'll never get a response from me.

But, like, he thought he was being funny. And Jeremy was like, this motherfucker. But he was like, oh, this is so funny to me. So anyways, I told him I could use a tour guide. We'll see. I love it. But I'm intentionally reaching out. And, yeah, we'll see.

Okay. So I want to get into our listeners. Well, you've touched on some of them. But I just want to read the final paragraph of this article because I really like it. And then we'll move on. It says, this year people are understanding that dating should be a positive experience. rather than one that sacrifices your mental health and well-being. By prioritizing the fun and dating, you'll create a more well-rounded approach to love

in all forms in your life, and this will undoubtedly guide you toward a great partner and a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Maybe. I just like, I really love this paragraph. Maybe. No guarantees. But I like this. Just like, again, it should be fun.

Dating should be fun. If you don't want to do it, date with intention or intentionality, as Raina has said. Is that a word? I think it's a word, but I think you could just say intention. It's like when I said, pretty people privilege four times, and you're like, you just said, you could say pretty privilege. Wait, what was that? Were we drinking?

No, we're in the tunnel on the way back from something with gondo. Yeah, you said pretty, you said it like three times. Raina said pretty people privilege. I was like, do you just say pretty privilege? You just say pretty privilege, okay? Snap. Also, I want to say, like, a lot of our listeners said, like, I want to deprioritize dating, and I think that's great, too, you know?

A lot of people were like, fuck men, I'm going to date myself this year. I'm going to find out what I like. So, I mean, this is an episode about dating trends in 2023. But I was happy that a lot of you said that you were going to date yourself, prioritize yourself. It's whatever you want. I mean, I feel like I came on here at the end of probably 2018 and was like, I'm not getting bogged down with this. Like, it's not a priority of mine to find a partner. People don't get to come in and upset me or just, you know, burst my purpose.

bubble of life that's happening right now. And I'm just feeling so great and so fulfilled and so much love in my life aside for many remains of partners. And then 2019, didn't cry the whole year. So stay unbothered. It's like, it doesn't. They really got you back in 2020 though, huh? All we did was cry. Yeah. But yeah, stay unbothered. Yeah, people were right stay single. Fuck this shit. Okay. So we're going to go through these. You've just been going this whole time. You've been weaving a minute out. I've been weaving. A bunch of people said the demise of the situation ship. That was in the article too. We're not doing situationships anymore. Yeah, I just, I feel like I'm hearing about it less too, from our listeners, from my friends. I just, I feel that I'm here. Like,

I feel like people have taken it into their own hands and they just, they smell it. This like, I'm going to, we'll be exclusive, but I'm not going to be in a relationship with you and all this bullshit. I just think we're seeing less of it from men and from women. I think men are also learning that like these antics aren't really going to be tolerated forever and you're just going to end up alone. Or, you know, in general, just whatever you want, because I mean, a lot of people don't want to be in a relationship or you want non-monogamy or, you know, it's whatever you feel comfortable with because I just think that like not everybody needs or wants to be in a monogamous relationship to start with. So this came up a lot, alternative

styles of dating. And I feel like it's not a hot take to be like polyamorous or consensual non-monogamy, but this came up a lot. And I also feel like I'm hearing my friends say this more, that they're open to throuples and opening up the relationship or dating somebody that's already dating somebody else in an open relationship, being vicarious. I'm just so many of my friends in my real life are trying out these just different ideas than just a monogamous heterosexual relationship. And I love to see it. You know, I don't think there's like one way to do it. Okay. Wait, the quote is so funny.

Buy to the apps, back to the wild. And then the streets are calling. That's very funny. Yeah. I need to be the title of the episode. You guys are funny. I love threesome during the talking phase to get over jealousy. That is so funny.

You're like, I'm feeling a little jealous, so we should definitely bring someone else into the bedroom. It's just what? Immersion therapy. Yeah. The one that made me laugh out loud, skinny kings, always a big dick. We've done the research. Yeah. It's true.

Find me a skinny man with a small dick. Find me one. I've never seen it. Okay, hear me out, though. is it like proportionate to their bodies, it just looks big, the way that like huge guys with average looking dicks? I talk about this in my stand-up. Like, I do feel bad for huge dudes that just have a normal, even to big dick, because

it looks small against their bodies. Yeah. Like, you fuck like an offensive lineman. You're going to be like, he had a micro penis. And then it goes in, you're like, ooh, that feels big. Yeah, it fills me up, you know? This guy is tall and kind of skinny. And the other guy that I like, too, in L.A., tall and skinny.

But it's not, let's remove what it looks. like when they're naked, you can feel it when it goes in you. It's my tight little pussy. Tight pussy energy. That's also in for 2023. But if you got loose pussy energy is in for 2020. Any pussy energy. Just having a pussy.

That's the trend. Yeah. Again, tall, skinny guys have slang in big old dicks. Can't miss. Most of the time. So short kings are still in, but skinny kings. have arrived. Yeah, I guess.

So if that's the trend, I'll take the leftovers that didn't fit the trend. Because I don't think that's going to be for me. I still like some big arms. I do. I need biceps. You don't care. I don't care. You look a noodle arm.

Did you see my exes? That's true. Everybody I slept with this year? You don't care about a butt either. You do not care. I cannot date a guy with a little deflated butt. I like a caked up guy. I dated somebody that.

It looked like you went up to his butt and like popped it and just went, oh my God. It was just a saggy little droopy butt. I used to like go into the shower just to look at it. But big boys are in too. It's whatever. It's whatever. Like I just,

this stuff is just funny. Like no one's ever going to be like only skinny people can date. Like or only big bigger people can date. It's just funny. I like that it's skinny kings than big boys. We line those up back to back. I want a big boy. A big boy.

It's a song. for messin-al. Get it. Okay. Budget-friendly dates. We'd already touched on that. But stuff on the first date. Raina got into that recently.

She's a trend. You really are a trailblazer because you started doing that end of 2020. I really did. Yes, less monogamy, more open relationships. One, a person wrote, I'm going celibate or gay. I'm by so I can say this.

It's one or the other. I love that. Let us know which way you want. Polyamory, leave it up to God because I'm unbothered. I love that energy. And I feel like, what do you always say? I do nothing.

Yeah. Or let them do butt stuff on a first date. They will fall in love with you. Being fully done with people who say, I just don't know what I want. Say less. Say less. I want a confident person that knows what they want. I mean, this is not new information coming for me.

But I feel a little fired up even just recently with some girlfriends of ours and some breakups and things like that of guys that just don't know what they want. It's like, I mean, I get it. Life is tough. Like big decisions can be tough. but I want to be done with that too. I want a hard know. I just want somebody to look me in the face and be like,

I don't want to be in a relationship. And I'm an adult and I can make a decision to fuck you without any commitment or not. And I just, I feel like you find less of this as you get older because I do just think that like people grow up a little bit. Like, I mean, I can't remember the last time I dated anybody that was like, can I know what I want? But I don't have anything else, Dad. I just, I'm done with it.

I'm absolutely done because, I mean, I want somebody and my age. Like if I want somebody that's like in their late 30s or 40s or, you know, late 40s, whatever. You were like, am I going to say 50? No, like 150. I had it at 48. I fell in love with somebody. His name is Dave Batista. He is a wrestler and an actor.

He's in Glass Onion. I'm in love with him. He's covered in tattoos, bald, beard, you know, all the things. I think he's like 48. Yeah. I mean, I'm not dating someone that's 30. to 48 to 48 and doesn't know what they want. Also, it's so unattractive to me.

If you don't want to be in a relationship, a confident-ass man will say, I don't want to be in a relationship. I'm not trying to wait around for you to figure out whether I'm good enough for you to be in a relationship with. Be with me or fucking don't. Amen. And also, if Dave Batista is listening or anyone who works with him,

reps him, knows him, please reach out. I love this. This one of our listener, I put on my Instagram story and this listener DMed us and was like, my friend's love with him. He's into butt stuff, exclusively. Well, that could be you. That's 2023 Rayna. I will open that hole up. It's been opened. It's been open since you guys come to the live shows. We'll talk about it.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. More gay shit. We love that. Only sucking off men who align with my personal values. I laughed out loud when I read this one. Also, I love sucking off. Sucking off. She's so classy. Dating myself, hyping being solo, less loving men, more loving myself, more people. people realizing they can live a fulfilling life single. Welcome to this podcast. Yeah. Ashley and I wrote that. Sick of Dick, date yourself, 2023.

You guys, the titles write themselves. I know. Pete Davidson came up a lot. A lot. I was reading through this and I was like, I don't care, I don't care. And then I was like, oh, he's really in here a lot. Do you want to read that? Yeah.

Pete Davidson comes on GGE. I feel like we know so many people that know him. He doesn't do a podcast, really. He did one. Pete Davidson comes on GGE, Pete Davidson and Raina. Davidson and Miley Cyrus, which I could see that. Pete Davidson and Nick Cannon, which I thought was interesting. And Pete Davidson and Jenna Ortega, which I thought was also interesting. Nick Cannon needs to stop. He should be with a guy. So he can just stop. That's so true.

Actually, he just had number 12 this week. That's crazy. Someone wrote Kim Kay and Tom Brady. I don't hate it. It's so American. It's so American. Uh-huh. Like that's someone from America's Royal Family. and then like the most all-American football player like that's the most like they're both into like Christ they're like God people yeah and then the last one which is my personal favorite is Ashley and Mike Johnson

yes I ship it I actually don't ship it I don't think that Mike's my guy you're gonna say now if he asks you out right now you're gonna say no you're saying no to Mike Johnson I don't think he's my person yeah I would go but I don't think I don't see it long term

Yeah, but you could suck him off because he allows with your personal values. Okay. Well, those were our listeners submissions. Thank you guys, as always. I feel really hopeful about this year. I just loved all your submissions. Everything was so confident. It was just like I could date myself.

I want to date, but I'm going to do it with more intention. I'm going to do butt stuff. I just loved all of the submissions issue. They felt really positive. Yes. So can we just take a minute to look at a zool? I mean, are you kidding me? Is this a cutest dog alive?

He's like he has a mood. He's just really relaxed. Okay, we didn't read this DM and we have some time. Oh my God, okay. We got this. She sent this everywhere. It's so funny. Did you want to read it?

No. Do I want to read it? I want to read it. Okay. Because we didn't talk about vibes at all and we know you guys are probably missing it. You're welcome. We have a company called Vives Only. We have an app with erotic audio content.

It's been such fire lately. The basketball player is in there. We have amazing sex. toys. You guys can check all this out at Vibes Only. But we got this DM. She sent it to me, you and Girls Got to Eat. And she emailed it. Oh, she did. Okay. It is a must read. Yeah, it's great. I mean, that, yeah, she was like, I got to get this in their hands before they record. Also, our new thing is that if you sign up for the newsletter, we're going to send you like funny stories and DMs and reviews that people are saying about the product. This week,

we did the cum towel. It was so funny. So also, if you have funny stories about the products, please send them to us. Please email them. Yes. Sign up for the newsletter. We were really excited about it. Okay. She says, must read. I asked my brother what he wanted for Christmas a couple weeks ago when he told me some gun attachment thing. Okay. So I got that for him. And that's all I got for. I'm so excited to his gun. It was the last thing I was waiting on to be delivered before our family celebrated Christmas last night. So I wrapped it up yesterday morning without even looking in the box to make sure it was the right present. I feel that. Our Christmas celebration was at my mom's house and my boyfriend

was passing out the presents. He brought me the present I'd wrapped up for my brother and had me at his name in the from section since he had paid for half of it too. So I added his name and then handed the present to my brother. Okay, so this is from her and her boyfriend. He opened up and looked confused and kind of annoyed. He said, Annie, this is not for me. I was so confused, so I went to look in the box and sure enough, sitting right on top, there was a picture of you two girls holding sex toys.

They come with a little postcard of us. If you haven't ordered yet. I had forgotten, I ordered the get wet set. And I wrapped it up and gifted it to my brain. brother in front of my mom and his girlfriend too. It's absolutely the funniest most mortified thing I've ever done. Definitely a new core Christmas memory. So really quick, the get wet set is our lube, our blowjob gel, and our massage oil in a cute

little vibes only pouch. Actually, I would have peed my pants. I would never have, I would live through this. I would have laughed so hard. Like, you and your boyfriend gifted this to your brother in front of his girlfriend. And he thought it was something for his gun. Yeah, I also feel like somebody who like asks for gun parts for Christmas is not so chill about getting blowjob gel from their sister for Christmas.

What if that was like her whole thing along? She's like anti-gun. She's like, instead of something for your gun, I don't think you should have a gun. I think you should be your dick. Getting more blow jobs. More blow jobs, less guns, 2023. Kudos to us. We send discrete packaging.

So we doesn't say vibes only on the box. More lube, less guns. 2023. I have actually got this other one that I don't. think I'd showed you, which is a nice little thing about the Get Wet Set, because it's one of my favorite things that we sell, because you really do get our three-star products. And you get a nice little pouch. It says, by the only. She said, just wanted to let you girls know. My fiance got me the Get Wet Set in my stocking this year and everything smells and is amazing,

nothing sticky and just such good quality. Happy for you guys. I love the podcast and everything you stand for. Really love that. So the Get Wet Set was not just for the holidays. You can still get it. And it is really just a star. Yeah. We have some really fun stuff coming up for couples also. So we're releasing a new toy soon. The remote control is free. If you have any of the toys, we release new features all the time. There's a battery estimator for free right now. So if you have our toys and the app, it will tell you in, I mean, there's nothing I hate more than when my vibrator dies mid-sash.

Nothing worse. I hate it. There's a nightmare. There's some good free content in there, but of course we want you to get in there and pay for the app. But you can get a little sense of how good it is. So this is a little bit late now because it was a New Year's Eve story. But we have this story in there.

And it is one of the hottest voices because it's the accent that's like, I don't even know what it's called. It's like that British accent, but it's like kind of like Alfie from Emily and Paris, which you don't know, but also kind of like Jack from White Lotus. Like that... Is it kind of trashy or something?

Like, it's hot. I don't know. Is it Cockney? Is that... I don't know. Cochney is the right word. So don't DM us. We'll look it up.

But it's the way that like... It's not proper. It's the kind of guy that will spit in your mouth. It's sexy. It's giving all spit in your mouth. So go back and relive the New Year's Eve. Maybe you didn't get to have in the app with this sexy voice.

Again, I really, like, from Emily and Paris is just one of the sex. You don't even know what I'm talking about. You're not part of the culture. But you do know Jack from White Lotus and it is kind of like a mix. People are saying that him and Megan Fahey are dating.

I saw that. Was that real? I don't know. People are saying it. Everything you read on the internet is true. All right. Thank you for supporting vibes as always and so many of you got it for the holidays. So thank you. Yes. We really appreciate it.

And we have some live shows coming up. which we didn't even mention, but if you're still here and listening, tons of live shows in 2023. We're really excited. First up, Salt Lake City, it's sold out. But, you know, there's other stuff. And Denver's sold out too. But there are shows that...

And March, you come to Florida. Come to Florida. So it takes for Chicago, Philly, Boston. Yeah. D.C. is going quick. I mean, do you guys check the website? Girls Gotteeat.com. Go to live shows.

And this tour is going to be insane. It's going to be so incredible. You know, Jeremy said one of the nicest things to me about our show. He said, you know, I go to a lot of comedy shows, and especially sit-down podcast. and he said, you really have to, like, know the podcast to like it. And he said, you guys really know how to entertain. He said so many people come with, like, friends that have never listened to the podcast.

And it's just, like, a wild-ass night. And I was so flattered. I love that plug. It's so true. Fans of the show bring people who have never seen or heard of us, and they love it. And we get messages after, like, I didn't know who you girls were before this, or I had never listened to an episode, and the show was insane. So bring whoever.

Yeah, we designed it like that. Yes. So we purposely do not just. just sit there and do inside jokes the whole time. So come. It's a wild night out. And we appreciate your guys coming always. That's Girls Gotta Eat.com.

We want you guys to come to everything. More come. More coming. Less guns. More come. 2023. Okay. You guys, again, we've said these,

but Girls Gotta Eat.com. Vives only.com. You can follow Girls Got to Eat podcast on Instagram and Vives only on Instagram. My personal handle is Ash Hess for everything. Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Raina is Raina. at Greenberg on Instagram, Girls underscore Gotta Eat on Twitter. And subscribe and watch the YouTube and share this with a friend.

And we'll see you guys next week. Come on you from L.A. Yay. Have a good week, guys. Bye.