Girls Gotta Eat - What's the Best Age Gap in a Relationship?

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

Age gaps are on tap this week and we're discussing it all — dating older, dating younger, pros and cons, power imbalances, sexual compatibility, and more. We share our (and our listeners') experiences of dating with an age gap and what to look out for if you venture into this type of relationship. Before we get into it, we're recapping Rayna's Europe trip and wedding attire controversy, Ashley's horny hibachi birthday, breaking rules at Sephora, and a serious manicure dilemma that needs to be discussed. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first month's subscription + free shipping at nutrafol.com with code GGE10. Helix: Get 30% off all mattress orders + two free pillows at helixsleep.com/gge. Betterhelp: Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/gge. Seed: Get 25% off VS-01 at seed.com/gge with code 25GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dating an older man doesn't mean you get the maturity and the stability. And dating a younger man doesn't guarantee you get all the fun hot sex and he can keep it up all the time. Like there are really no guarantees. This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi guys. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to Eat.

Welcome back. Still cancer season. Yay. Someone messaged me. This was before last week's episode and was like, how have you not brought this up? Yeah. I was like, I'm sorry. I couldn't believe it takes a long.

And then I just double-checked next week. The 22nd will be the last day of cancer season. So we have one more episode. We really got them in. You can bring it up two more times. That's exciting for you. Yeah. Second to last time, you guys, hope you're all enjoying your cancer season.

We are fresh off my birthday, Raina's European travels. I feel now that I'm back in America, I have nothing to live for. Except this podcast. That's it. It's keeping you going. Yeah, that's, I mean, you guys and this podcast is it. America is not it right now. No. Paris is it. Not the vibe.

I've had like a crazy story arc with Paris and I love Paris now. Okay. And I'm trying to convince you to live there. I told Tess who she could come. Well, I am pleased with their political leanings as of late. Great. So I like to see what happened in Paris. One check in the yes box. I feel like it's hauliness there. Yeah. Do you like Escargo? Bitch, no. You won't eat it? And you knew this. I don't think I knew this. I thought you got to fight in Paris because you kept dragging me around trying to make me eat snails. No, you don't like oysters.

We don't really like pork. I don't think I knew that you don't like ask our gal. I ordered the large portions at every place. It's just snails. Yeah, but it's like a lot of butter and garlic. I would eat anything with a ton of butter and garlic. Well, that's the scam. I don't think people really like it.

And I don't think you like the taste of snails. And I don't really think people like the taste of slimy oysters. I think it's a vehicle to eat a bunch of other stuff. I'm liking on that. Sauce, butter, garlic, crackers. Like, find me an oyster purist. they're like, no, I just love the taste of it. I love the taste of a cummy piece of sludge.

Cummy. Oysters are so coming. Oysters are like, the taste is so gross. I know people love them. People are going to come for me. But if you really want them with nothing, the same with the snail. You want to take a snail to the face.

Okay, but I will say snails don't really have a taste. It's just texture to me. Like oysters have a fucking taste. And a texture. No, it is crazy. You're talking about West Coast oysters. They're kind of milky. That's that cummy thing that you want.

It's just like, in general, this is like the macha thing. Like, I don't believe people really love it. This slimy bottom of the ocean. It's not great. I would never order it. You know what I hate? And I feel like this is like an irrational thing that bothers me is when you go to a restaurant and you're like,

what's good at the year? And the waiter is like the oysters. It is the same oysters everywhere. It's the same chef can open. the same oysters everywhere. Your chef doesn't open the oysters better than other chefs. And yes, some oysters come with like minionette sauce, different fancy minionette

sauces. But like, I want to know like what you guys make here that I cannot get anywhere else. Yeah, but isn't there like a whole culture of like where they come from and stuff? Oh, yeah. Like people act like it's wine. Today we have the oysters from the left bank. What? When I worked in restaurants

like high-end fancy restaurants? You picked up these rocks. Oh no, they're wildly varied. West Coast versus East Coast oysters. There's very different flavor sizes. East Coast, very salty, big. The West Coast one... Ew! When they are big... I will throw up right now.

The way they slide down your throat, like, also, I like the experience when they show up on the table. Like, I love any sort of experience. Like, I love something that feels like bottle service during a dinner. You know, the presentation, they come over, they're on ice. Like, I love the way they look. It's a vibe. I get it.

Like, oysters, caviar, champagne. Like, all that stuff feels very indulgent. Like, I do understand the appeal. but to me it is that taste that I can't understand and the way that it feels like sliding down your throat. If you eat oysters and you don't swallow come when you suck a dick, you're a fraud. Do it all or don't do it.

You earned it your first. Yes. It's the same thing as like sharing plates. Like we talked about like if you're going to be Raina Greenberg, refuse to use a share plate. I won't do it. Diving in, you better eat some ass while you're at. Like a bottle hole.

You better be disgusting in the bedroom. totally agree. Thank you. It's just, I don't know, snails are for me. I like it. They are drowning in oil and garlic and parsley and I love it and I just like ate it on every street corner. That's my thing. Yeah, right. I get it. You're just like sucking oil and butter and garlic out of a shell. That's the vibe. Also, it's like they're a dollar a piece usually. Like oysters are more money than that unless you go to happy hour. I get like dollar oysters. But like they're also cheaper. Yeah. I mean, I used to love an oyster shooter. Like what I would be. be partied in Charleston.

No, it was like, we'd have to turn to look. Oh my God. No, we used to go to this place in Charleston. It was like a fun thing to do. You know what? Let's talk about our forest. I valid myself.

Thank you to Seed for sponsoring this episode. Get 25% off VS.01 at seed.com slash gge with code 25 GGE. And thanks to BetterHelp, get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash gge. Yes. And thanks to Nutraful, get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at Nutraful.com with code GGE.

10. And thank you to Helix. Get 30% off all mattress orders and two free pillows at helix sleep.com slash GGE. So I'm back from this trip. I went to a lot of places. This is my first international trip without you in like seven years. I had to pay for everything myself. I hated it.

That is so funny I'm just like putting my own card down I was like text to me I can't use the company card This is gonna ruin the tour The tour I just like had to be out of paying for everything myself I hated it

I'd just like split wise with people Ugh Ew I know Thank God for split wise By the way though Fuck them and their like premium version What is that?

You know you can't even like do Oh right You can only enter like three things You can't complete a trip Until you pay When did that start? I used it and then there was years probably went by where I didn't use it. We got back on it recently.

And I was like, oh, I guess I'll finish this tomorrow because split wide locked me out because I haven't paid for premium. Listen, I get it. You're a business. You got to make money. But isn't like Venmo? They just take a percentage of the transaction. Oh, and you have to pay.

I have no idea. But I was just like, of course, there's no more free split wise. They caught on to us. Anyway. Yeah, I went to all these places. This is also, it's my first time being in international waters without you in a long time. It's also my first time I've been on a trip this long and not had any days to myself. zero days about myself. It's a lot of time

to be with other people. Yeah. I stayed at hotels by myself, but like I was at the wedding, I stayed with Jeremy and the Brittany and I were in the same bed in the same hotel room for five days. I just found this out. It was shocking. I found it out at my birthday party, which we will talk about. But yeah, I didn't know you shared a room,

so for me to digest that first and then realize you were sharing a bed the whole time. Well, I had already planned this part of the trip. Right. She just like time. And then I I invited her to come with me, and I just felt like I was going to pay for the room anyways. It didn't feel fair to be like, oh, by the way, get your own room, you know? And then when we checked into both of the rooms, we asked, do you have any places with two beds?

And they just were like, no. People don't come here and get two beds. That's not what people do here. Was it all kings? Be honest. Yeah, of course. Raina. Did you share a queen?

No, no, no. Because, you know, in Europe, beds can be a little small. King beds in both places. I feel like the one in Paris was like super king. Okay. She sleeps with a face mask so why and earplugs. I didn't even know she was there. Yeah. So it was great. It's hard to travel with other people. We gave each other some space every day.

Yeah. Well, I think you guys traveled well together. I don't think it was like a struggle. No, no. You said it's hard to travel with other people. It's so hard about it. Just being with somebody like continuously. Oh, I know. It was a comfortable, like, we're just not going to talk to each other for a few hours every day. Yeah. I have a wedding update for the wardrobe for everybody. Yeah. So if you guys listened a few weeks ago, I said that the bride of this wedding, I went to set out different wardrobe on the invitation. the website and the text message she sent me

all wildly different instructions for what to bring. The wedding was very funny because some people, she wrote black tie. Some people brought tuxedos. Crazy. To this like outside. I wouldn't say it was casual, but it was pretty casual.

Yeah. Tuxedos and other people were in like linen pants and a button down. I don't think you can even hint at wearing a tux outside summer wedding. Crazy. That is crazy.

That's crazy. If that's what you want to do, go for it. But it seems a little crazy to me. But that's not, I don't think, what she even wanted. Well, she put on the invitation. But does she know what black tie is? I don't know. And it's also crazy to be like, you guys should come to my wedding in Tuscany with a tux.

Like, you and I talk about we love packing for summer all the time. Yeah, bring your tux. Because like everything's so small and little and dainty. And like a tux, you made people drag tuxedos. And we were just in the direct sun on a lawn of grass. She was like, have fun surviving. It's so funny. Yeah. If I were a dude and I was like getting my passport out to go to a wedding in summer and I saw a black tie, it'd be like, fuck if I'm bringing a tuxedo. Yeah. Some people just were smarter about it and brought linen pants, things like that. But I did great. I wore a white outfit to the white party on Friday. And then I wore just like a cute little revolved dress on Saturday. And it was really fun and beautiful. I've never been to the middle of nowhere like that in Tuscany. There's no food. There was no food at our villa. I had no idea. So it was an interesting.

experience trying to find food. Okay. But yeah, I didn't break any old artifacts on this trip. I didn't fuck any dudes. Well, okay. So you posted this story and you're like at the wedding and there's this good looking, bearded, bald guy next to you. And I was like, what the fuck is this? And I just assumed he was gay. He kind of gave hot gay man vibes. And I'm like, what is happening? And I was already texting with our friend Jackie and then she brought it up like maybe rain is hitting it off with that guy she knows him he's like a food person or whatever but i was like rana you can't just post this like it's giving a launch i thought it was really funny and i was like did you know what you were doing yeah okay his name is jason he's great he's like a long-time friend hopenheim no same height

no is he he's probably like five nine on a tall day yeah no not like five too like jason often time. No, but he's really great. He's a real estate agent in New York City. He's a successful guy. He's good looking. And I was like, if you don't get so much pussy from this, I can't help you. Okay. So you were never interested. No offense to him. No, no. I mean, I've also just known him like it. Like, it was going to happen. It would happen. Well, why don't you like him? Spill the tea? Why am I into him? Yeah. I'm just, I'm not into every person with a pulse that's bald and sort of good looking. I'm also holding out for Ryan. All right. Yeah. I mean, he's just, I think it would have happened if it was going to happen.

for like all the years that I lived in New York. Okay, but you know how like we always say it's so insulting to just assume that you're single, he's single, you'll like each other. But the way he looks. Yeah, that's a really good looking guy. You usually are into anyone who is that architect. Single, good looking, bald, bearded with a pulse. Yes, typically.

He has no tattoos. No tattoos? No tattoos. Red flag. That's why you don't like him. You should have said it. He's too wholesome for me. He's like the DCC squad. No, if you have not chosen to permanently alter your skin.

Not for me. I would never. It's gross. For a man. Yeah, it's not for me. Yeah, he's just a friend. Okay. I ended up having dinner with the owner of this restaurant after we recorded the snack last

week because we recorded late and my family had gone to sleep. And so I went out to this restaurant by myself and the owner of the restaurant sat down next to me. I just love Italian man. He walked out and he just trailed his hand across my whole back. And I, in America, I'd be like straight to jail. You are arrested. But this like hot Italian man, I was like, you could finger me if you want to.

It is different in Italy. Which is different. Yeah. It's not creepy if you're Italian. No. It's kidding. It's very creepy a lot of the times. I've been in Rome and been like, whoa.

Am I safe? I'm flattered, but I don't feel safe. Please don't touch me. You don't like me touch as much as I do. That's true. Anybody can touch me all the time in Italy. That is true. So yeah, it was a great trip.

I loved it. I made an about face about Paris. People kept being like, you guys went to Paris. You hated it. You and I had a really weird trip. I mean, we hated Paris when we went in 2018. Like, right when we first started the podcast, we had like a weird experience. Everything was closed and we didn't have to share a bed, but like a very tiny room.

You and Brittany shared like a mansion. Like, I was five feet away from where we both were taking a shit. Also, we picked a weird area to have a hotel. Totally. But then we've been since then. And we went like last fall. And so I think we have changed our stance on Paris. But yeah, we did used to really.

talk our shit. Okay. I just wanted to show you this like one thing from the trip. So my luggage got lost. Yeah. And I had no clothing and it was Iberia Airlines and they were great and wonderful by getting back to me. But I had no clothing and I didn't have a bra. So I was like, I have to go find a bra. And I was in San Sebastian and it's like a pretty small town. I mean, I'm sure if you looked hard enough, you'd find Victoria's Secret and regular stores. But I was in like old town San Sebastian. So I was like, where am I going to find this bra? So I'm like weaving in and out of all of these like alleyways and small streets looking for like a bra store and I come across this like small store and there's just like a lady sitting inside and on the windows there's

bras and inside it's just hundreds of boxes piled to the ceiling and I walked in and I was like hi I'm looking for a bra and she handed me a piece of paper and I think she wanted me like write down my size so I like wrote it down and she walks over like the wall of boxes just hundreds of boxes I got to show this too okay so we'll put on the screen on YouTube I mean it's just hundreds of boxes the aisle to the ceiling. And she just pulls one box out and hands it to me. And she's like, try this on. And I was like, just right here in the middle of the store.

Tiddy's out. Just in the middle of the store. And she's like, yeah. Yeah. And I just had to take my dress off in the middle of this tiny little store. There's no dressing room? There's no dressing room. Okay.

And I just had to like, try it on. She was like, how's that? And I was like, it's great. Was it good? I'm wearing it for you today. It's really good. This is beautiful. It fit really nice.

Oh, my gosh. It's like a perfect fit. And you were like, gratsy. And I was just like, I guess thank you. Okay. Have you actually, have you seen Harry Potter? No. You ever seen an episode?

Okay. An episode. It's like when Harry goes to like olivanders and olivander like pulls a wand off the wall for him. You won't understand this from us, but other people will. It's giving like vibrator. That kind of wand? No. No.

Like a magic wizard wand. Because I see that and I'm picturing us having like a storefront for vibes only and someone walks in and we just like assess them. We're like, here's the wand you need. We should do that for vibrators. Yeah. love that idea. So that's, I was my bra shopping experience. I just thought it was like very funny. She was just like, this is the thing you're going to get. And I was like, I love this.

I love that because I don't want too many choices. She gave me no choices. Yeah, you decide. She handed this to me in black and white. That was the choice. Laundrey stores are funny because what's on the wall, if there is anything on the wall, there wasn't in that store. It's like not even like half of what's going on underneath. You know, like everything's in the drawers. Everything's in the drawers. Why is everything in the drawers? Well, I get it. Like, you can only put so much stuff out, but so much stuff that's in the drawer should be on the walls. Like, no one's wearing this stuff.

Like, I went recently and then bought some lingerie. And I was like, is there any, like, panty to matter? Like, where's the rest of it? Like, I get it. You can't put everything on display. But it just feels like... Some stuff should be, it should be like Sephora where there's one thing on display, and the drawers have hundreds of things in that.

Okay, but I had to tell you, I went to Sephora, and I was with my boyfriend, and we were in Boston. And I was like, I had to get a couple things in Sephora in Seaport. And I was like, oh, while I'm here, I'm going to get this lip liner, which is like this lip liner that Brenna told us about you're using, which is, I know you guys are going to ask, makeup forever lip liner and wherever walnut. You have it, right? She got a free for your birthday. Yeah. So, and I was like, oh, I'll get this. And they had like the sample.

And I just opened the drawer and got the lip liner out. And he was like, what are you doing? He thought it was like such a boss move. And I was like, I actually don't know if I'm allowed to do this. I don't know if we're allowed to do it. But better this than they're probably understaffed. You know, like, I know what's down there. I'm not stealing it. Like, I'm going to get it and pay for it rather than call over a sales associate. They're just going to open the drawer too. But I'm over here opening the drawers to Sephora. And he was just like, what are you doing? It feels illegal. It feels like you shouldn't be allowed to do it. I know some people probably wouldn't do it. Which I want to talk about something else today that some people probably also wouldn't do when it comes to like beauty and things like that. But I was like, I know what's in there. I'm getting in those drawers. It feels like you would be arrested for doing it. Like I can't even imagine opening those drawers, but also like you know what's in the drawer and you're just going to get another person to come doing. Why am I going to bother somebody?

Yeah, exactly. I'm saving them time and money. And I got what I needed. I'm in and out. Okay. So then I came back. I flew back and it was your birthday party. Yes.

I had my birthday party. We're like fresh off of it as we record this. And I had told you guys last week that I did a Habachi. party, which I had at my house in my back patio, and they bring the habachi chef, and he comes and he cooks. And it was, like, the most fun thing. I didn't know that you could do that. In my mind, those habachi tables are so massive. So I didn't know that you could, like, bring them to somebody's house. But this was, like, a little smaller than what I envisioned. Like, it was mobile? Yeah. They just, like, come and they, like, set it up. And I'd seen people do

this. And I talked about this last week. I don't need to be repetitive. But the company's called Habachi to you. And they came and, like, set it all up. And he came, like, equipped with super soakers filled with sake. Like he just came in so hot. We had this chef, chef, chef rainbow. He came in.

He had such a horny energy. He was just like, everybody opened up, and he was just like super socky in your mouth. It was so crazy. He was like an MC. I did not expect that.

Like, I feel like he was like a bar mitzvah emcee. That's the vibe. A friend of ours was like, that guy's energy was crazy. And I was like, I did not expect it.

But like, if you want somebody to like hype up the party, that's who I would hire. Ultimate Hype Man, you're exactly right. Just giving like wedding emcee of all time. but I knew that they were kind of like that.

That's like the whole thing. They're supposed to like really bring the party again. They bring the super sokers with the sake and they're like throwing food to your mouth and they're doing all these tricks and all this kind of stuff. And it was just so much fun. But he asked me, he was like, are you okay with like foul language essentially? And I was like, like, sexual. Like I guess he was like how X rated can we get?

And I was like go as hard as you want because he was very like, everything was like sexual and horny. Not like inappropriate. Well, also he ran a bias. I think that like some groups would be a little more like proper. Yeah, maybe you're like having a family get together. But it was really fun. And then I did have the karaoke machine. I ordered another one. I had one for my house warming that just broke before we were supposed to use it. And so I got another one and we like did karaoke. And it was just like so much fun.

I cannot stress enough that like a habachi karaoke is like the most perfect birthday combo. I was like this the best time of my life. I mean, I'm not trying to go to a bar for people's birthdays. I'm not trying to deal with not sitting. I mean like I just get to be at home and eat and dance and sing. Yes. It was so much fun. I posted this thing on Instagram stories that our friend took a video of and I have never gotten like so many DMs because my boyfriend, Sparkle-Eys, he was in town and he, like, helped me set up and everything, and we, like, were sitting next to each other at the table. And the chef basically gave me an egg on, like, a spatula. And he had, like, tossed into his, like, chef hat. And then he gave me the chef hat and the egg and the spatula. And he was like, now you do it. And we all counted down.

We were like, three, two, one. And I tossed it in the air. And I thought I caught it in the hat. It was really adorable. Yeah. You really did. You thought you did. And I thought I caught it. because I felt it, listen, so, like, I should have known better because it took too long for me to feel it in my hat. And I was like, did it go into like a tree and then fall into the hat? Yeah, it had so much sake. So I throw it in the air. I don't feel anything. And then all of a sudden I feel the egg like plop into my hat.

And I was like, oh my God, I caught it. And like, you can watch the video. I'll post this. Maybe I'll make another whole real of it because I just put it on my story. Our friend Hannah filmed it. And I'm like, oh my God, I got it. And when I watched the video back, like, oh, you didn't know? I didn't know.

I feel so stupid. I actually feel like... But he did this to a few people where he gave it to their boyfriend to put it in the hat. I just had a different vantage point. No, Sparkleyes just caught it. Oh, he caught it? Yeah. Yeah.

I was wondering how he got Sparkleys a second egg. I thought that he set this up with Sparkleys at a time where he gave them the egg just in case like the birthday girl didn't catch it in the hat. No, I'm going to have to post this. I throw it up in the air. He catches it in midair, which is hot also. So he catches it as it goes behind me. Ashley. And then he just put it in my hat.

Ashley, for days. I've been like, how did they work this out together? Wait, really? Where did the egg break? Oh, also it was like a fake egg. By the way, guys, it was like a fake egg. Also did not know that. All these days, I've been thinking he tossed this egg in your hat.

And of course, they know, like, most people aren't going to, like, catch an egg in their hat. And at the head of time, they, like, give it to the boyfriend. No. I had had so much socky super soaked into my throat. No. No, so. No, so you. Well, then you guess you probably didn't like watch all the way through the story.

I throw it up in the air. He catches it. And you can watch him kind of for a second think. And he like quickly reacts and just puts it in my hat. I literally thought he just had it in his hand waiting to put it in your hat in case you missed it all these days. I've been thinking that Chef Rainbow gave Sparkle Eyes the egg. Yeah. So that's why people think it's so sweet.

I thought it was so sweet that they like planned this for you ahead of time. Oh no. No. He did it on his own accord and like people were DMing me about it. Like this is the cutest thing I've ever. ever seen. And like, Brittany, even the next day was like, the best part of the night was that moment. Like, you thinking you caught this thing and like him doing it. And of course, he wasn't going to tell you he was going to let you think you got it. Wait, when did you realize you

didn't get it in the video? Just now. Just right now. As you're really good. I don't even remember, like now that I'm like, did I ever realize or did I think I got it this whole time? I think I just wanted to live. No, you seemed like you thought you caught it. It was adorable. It was a good time. I do feel like I'm in my hosting era. Like, I mean, I guess it's because I have a house with more space to host in. But, you know, me, I'm like, I don't love it. You got a little more stressed about it. Yeah, I get more stressed. And there's just, like, a lot to do. And so because I don't like love it that much, I don't really want to. But I do feel like having someone else to do stuff is why I've been like more into it. Like, my boyfriend is just, I feel like we're in deja vu. We just did this.

Like, we just went to Target and we picked up ice and we just like stocked the bar and set up for a party because we had my house warming back in April. And I was like, we did. just do this. Like this is so different for me to be like hosting two parties like back to back. Like I really was like, we just did this. But it's nice to have someone to like help clean and like do all that stuff. It gets a lot. Like you do it all the time. But I feel like you like it more. Like you enjoy it. So it doesn't like bother you to be like cleaning and setting up and doing all that stuff. Where I'm just like I don't even want to do this. So like it is nice to have somebody that's like light in the load. I just like all the price. Yeah. And I like to just get it. And I like the people. I like to show love through like hosting and

setting up for people. I feel like I don't clean ahead of time. And then I feel like I'm really comfortable asking people to clean up for me afterwards. I mean, everybody broke your party down in five minutes. Yeah, I will say that about, like, adult parties. Also, like, something about L.A. You can speak on it because you've thrown so many more parties in, like, New York versus L.A., but everybody is immediately breaking shit down. People swarmed to, like, there's a curfew.

They have to be. Like, it was crazy. Like, I was like, you guys stop. Like, 10 minutes after Chev Rainbow packed up and left, my whole party. Like, the folding tables are broken down. The chairs are stacked. the dishes are inside, stuffs in the trash can, recycling. I'm like, what just happened?

People swarmed to clean that up. That was crazy. I will say parties in LA, everybody brings a gift, everybody shows up on time. New York, if you show up, if you show up an hour late, you're a nerd. Yeah. Like, if you show up two hours late, that's on time. Here, on time, with gifts, cleaning up for you. But then again, I'm like, I paid for everything.

You know? That's a trade off. Yeah, you should come to work. I wasn't like, hey, also pay me. You know what? So do you want to bring a gift? That's fine. Yeah. Okay. Well, that is the birthday and the Raina vacation travel recap. I am just going to tell you guys about Helix. I have an update in my life, my family's life that we finally got my mom hooked up with the Helix mattress. So she had been complaining about her bed. Who knows how long she has had it. I all know my parents sleep in separate bedrooms. That's the key of their relationship. So my mom had been like complaining about her bed and she wanted a new one. So I had her take the quiz. she got matched with the Helix Midnight Lux, and she has it in her bedroom. She has it set up. She's like sleeping on it now. And she is absolutely loving it. I basically was like, tell me how it goes the very first night.

And she was like so excited to sleep on it. The next morning she reported back. And she was like, I love it. I'm having like the best sleep in my life. So everybody now really has one. Like my whole family, like my boyfriend, like you, Tessa has what? Yeah. Like everybody in the fam, we like can't stress enough. So basically you are just going to go on their website. And you can't. can take this quiz and find what works for you. Of course, we all sleep differently, whether we sleep on our back, our side, or our stomach, or we roll around, whether we want soft, medium or firm mattresses. And they have 20 unique mattresses, including their award-winning Lux and ultra-premium elite collections. The Helix plus, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers. My brother and his wife have that one. And then there's a Helix kids' mattress as well.

So you have your standard helix, your Lux, and your elite collection, whichever is going to work for you. We really love them all. I have a standard one in my house. in my guest room and then I have the midnight lux like I mentioned before. And we really have laid on so many different ones. I think my best friend and her husband have the dusk lux, and they've been loving that. And of course, the moonlight lux. And some things we haven't mentioned before, Helix sleep mattresses are fiberglass-free. Unlike other brands, Helix mattresses do not contain fiber class, which can be harmful to your health. I didn't even know that. So that's a perk for sure. And again, the company also supports military, first responders, teachers, and students by giving

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We've talked about that before. But we just love these mattresses so much. It will elevate your sleep game and we just couldn't live without them. I mean, we're traveling all the time. And I feel like when we go and we stay in other places, we stay in hotels, we stay with people, whatever it is, we always come back to our Helix mattresses and sleep better than ever. So Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helix sleep.com slash GGE. That's helix sleep.com slash GGE. This is their best offer yet,

and it won't last long with Helix Better Sleep starts now. Okay. And a new partner, so it doesn't take much to change the balance of your day-to-day life. So if I, you know, skip my morning routine, I don't get enough sleep, it throws me off. And same goes for the sensitive vaginal microbiome. So nine out of ten women have an unstable vaginal microbiome, which I didn't know. That's why seed created Vs.O.1 vaginal symbiotic to restore a healthy vaginal microbiome and sustain regulated pH levels. So as I get older, I just focus more and more on what I put in my body and what I'm consuming, whether it's a multivitamin or the types of drinks and foods that I consume. And that's why I loved hearing about seed because there's rigorous scientific testing, so it's really reassuring

in terms of what you're putting in your body. And just like your gut has a unique microbiome, so does your vagina. So the vaginal microbiome is a natural defense system and key driver of gynecological, urogenital, and reproductive health. So day-to-day things like menstruation, exercise, diet, stress can kind of throw it off. VSO1 marks a new era in vaginal care with a sustainable approach to address the root cause of imbalances. So available products often target only symptoms in a way that further disturb the microbiome. And Vs-O-1 is an ongoing system that maximizes efficacy with minimal impact to your day-to-day life. So the system, the way it comes, it's this beautiful packaging, and the intensive first month reset helps rapidly replenish an optimal

vaginal microbiome and then sustain a simple ongoing two-tablet monthly schedule is designed to help maintain a stable vaginal microbiome and regulate pH. So that's just two tablets a month. Easy-peasy. Find your balance and get proactive with your Aginal care with VS.01 from Seed. Go to seed.com slash GGE and use code 25GE to get 25% off. That's 25% off VS.O1 at seed.com slash gge code 25 gge. Okay. So something I wanted to discuss, which I had texted you about this and I was like, things are falling apart. You have to come back home. You've been gone too long. And this is something that happened to me at the nail salon. So I went to this nail son that we both go to and they're like, where is Raina? You know, like I walk in. Your girl was in there.

I love them so much. Yeah. It's called Pinkies. There in Santa Monica. Raina found them. And I just wanted to get a pedicure. So I have kind of a peachy, like, bright cantalope on my nails. So I was like, I want to do kind of like a similar vibe of my toes. I choose this polish. And I get like a gel pedicure. And she does like the first coat. And I'm like, it is really bright. Okay. A little too bright. Little too bright. Little too neon. I just don't need neon toes. Neon nails, different vibe. So last summer when I was doing neon green all the time on my fingernails,

I was doing neon pink on my toenails, but that's because it was a matching vibe. Even pink, something about neon orange. I was like, I don't know. So I was like, that's a little too neon, but it's fine. So I was like, what I think I'm going to do is just pick another color and layer on top because you know, I'll mix shades sometimes. And like my nail girl, like we've mixed shades to find like the perfect red,

perfect pink, whatever. So I was like, actually, can we do my second coat this, color and I picked this like darker orange. And she even goes, I think this light one would go. I was like, no, I think I'm going though dark. She's like, okay. So she starts doing the second coat. Why is it so much brighter?

It is dark neon, bright orange. It is glowing. I can see my, I'm blinded. I was like, oh no. I've made such a grave mistake. But like I already made this decision and I declined her offer. she knew what was best. Of course she knew it was best. I chose because she had done bright orange and then just made it even more

prominent with a dark orange on top of it. Now it was like neon dark orange. I was watching it go on like I don't know what to do. Is it on your toes right now? Can I see it in person? Oh. It is a dark neon. I mean, I don't. It looks like Halloween. Thank you. We're in the wrong. season for that. Middle school. Like, it's young. It's like you do this as a sleepover. You're all like, let's do neon orange nails. Raina, it's so

Halloween. It's so I got in the car and it was blinding me from down on my gas pedal. I was like, I can see it from up here. It's like, yeah, it's also a very different vibe than the very muted cantalope on your nails. Yes, but I like let her go with it. I was like, I did this to

myself. The whole time I'm sitting there being like, I should have just kept the original color. Like it would have been better. What have I done? And I went to yoga after that. And I'm looking to everyone else's toes. Just having like, I had to bring your toes out. I had to bring my toes out. Like I'd already plan to go to yoga. Yes. And I was like, I don't think we're talking about nail color regret enough. It is so real. When you get a gel color that you regret, actually it happens to me all the time. And then I can't tell them. I told you I got home with that French manicure. And I was like, I hate this. And you were like, weren't you at the nail salon getting it? And I was like,

I couldn't bring it up. Okay. I had requested this. When am I going to be like, don't do that? It's ugly. One of the worst times was when I had this vision in my head to do Ice Princess, like glittery white. And I just went sparkly white. And it was for our live show at the Apollo. So end of 2020.

And I walked out of there and I almost broke into tears. It just, my nails looked so stupid. And I was like, and I'm wearing white. So I wish I would have had red to pop against my white. So I had these like dumb white nails. It made my hands look so washed out. And they were sparkly. I was like, again, I just feel like a child.

And so I just feel like we're not talking about this enough. And then I saw this TikTok because then I want to hear your thoughts on this. Oh, I have thoughts. I witnessed the craziest thing yesterday. I was getting my nails done, pale pink, basic bitch. But the girl's sitting next to me after the guy did one of her toes. She said, I'm so sorry, sir. I actually don't care for that color.

Do you mind if we switch? I would follow her in a battle. I relate to this so much. Have you ever done that? I've done that. I said I don't like one. One nail, one coat. You get one.

You get one nail, one coat. Got this idea that I wanted these, like, jelly-looking nails. Did ever show you these? They do, like, red on the bottom, and then, like, gel on the top, and then they do that magnet to make it kind of, like, cat-eye-ish. It looks like there's just straight-up jelly sitting on your nails. And I liked it on TikTok, and then I got it on my nail, and I was like, this is the ugliest fucking thing I've ever seen.

Like, I look like a child. That's the thing. Yeah, I'm just, I'm too old to be sporting this. Well, did you tell him? Yeah, because she did one nail. You get one. I am a person that will always speak up. Like, I'm not some people pleaser.

Like, if you do one nail and in that moment, I'm like, I hate it. I have no, and they want you to be happy. Like, they want you to have the color that you want. It would be an insane move to have them do your whole nails and then change your mind. If you want to do that, you just need to pay again. You need to pay for the polish change. That would be crazy to do to somebody. You know what I mean?

I'm scared to ask them to change one nail. But I think, because even sometimes, my nail girl is doing my nail. She's like, we'll do one and see if you like it. You know, when I'm between two colors, she's like, we'll do both and then we'll take it off and start again. But like any more than one nail, one coat, you are kind of an asshole. You just have to live with it. Because Raina, I have been one hand in or one full coat, 10 fingers in, and realized I hate it. That's your life for the next two weeks. Yeah. That's who you are. You have to live with that. You can go back the next day. You can stay there and pay to have it done again,

but you have to live without regret. I've gone home and painted over it. Oh, yeah, you definitely. Before I've asked them to change anything. That's my personality for the next two weeks. I've even gone home and painted over it and I'll come back and she'll be like, you painted over what I did? Yeah.

And I'll be like, I got a little bored with it. I'm so sorry. That is so funny. She's like, oh, wow, this is interesting. I remember I didn't do this. She always remembers. She always can tell when I painted over it because she's like, you just decided to take my art and make it look like dog shit.

I hope you stop telling people that you come here. Well, what I've wanted to say. say to you is that none of this would have happened if you had adhered to our scheduled pedicure together and come with me that day instead of blowing me off so go get drinks with Taylor the way you agreed to get a pedicure with me and then called me and go you just drove by me and Taylor who were getting drinks I literally forgot I was like oh made these plans during a concert like drinking I was all fucked up my neck was hurt I was trying to drink through the pain we made plans like literally standing at a live concert and you were like, I have a pedicure tomorrow. And I was like,

oh, I'll come. That was it. That was the extent of it. So I completely forgot. You didn't send me a calendar invite. Oh, this is my favorite. You're to make some place. So I completely forgot. I literally just staying in a concert. I was like, I'll come tomorrow. I'll do that. And then Taylor and I are at drinks and you drive by. And we called you. I'm here with a catacare. And you were like, hey girl. And you were like, I'm one of the pedicure you're supposed to go to. And I was like, oh no. I've made a huge mistake. But I just, I'm sure so many girlies out there feel us on this nail color regret. And like, it is so painful when you walk out of there.

Because you're like, I did this to myself. That's why I got to just play the hits. Every time I like try to do something like spicy and different, like, I'm a white nail girl. If I'm feeling really crazy and erratic Ferrari red. That's it. I thought I'd be like so different get a French manicure. I literally got home and I was like, I hate her. Who is she?

I know that one time I did that muted. I was like, I look like I'm going to a corporate conference. Like I look like I'm trying to be spicy, but I have to present today. Like it was like a mob. I was like, I hate this. But I think if you are doing gel, you can make a change before you've gone to the lamp. So even if you have a few nails done, but you haven't set it in the lamp yet, you can ask them to change it because it's really easy for them to take it right off. And I think they are happy to do it.

They want you to be happy. But once you have gone and to set it, no, that's it. That's who you are. You have to live with that. Just accept it. And also, if you think you're going to mute a bright. color by putting a darker version of that color on it. You're going to amplify it and listen to your nail tech.

Because now I have to live with my Halloween nails. And they're just like, you're stupid. I'm the professional here. I don't go to the doctor and tell them how to do their job. Yeah. I mean, and she was just like, okay, whatever you want. I think if she would have said, listen, girl, it's going to get even brighter. I would have listened to her.

But like, I'm not a nail tech. I don't know. I made a bad decision and now I have to live with it. Well, do you wear a lot of sandals around L.A.? We're not going to see your toes for the next couple weeks. My toes have been out. I went to Boston that weekend. I wore sandals a whole weekend.

I just walk around. You are going to the beach in a couple days. I wore that long black maxi dress, that skim's dress. I felt so chic and then popping out in the bottom, bright orange nails. That's crazy. I felt like so glam, so gorgeous, so chic. And then I looked down. I was like, God, fucking damn it.

Wow. I don't deserve this. Are you are going to the beach with those? You're taking those to the beach. You know, a gel petty lasts for like a year. Like, this is my whole first. with those. You got to be careful with a gel petty.

Yes. That's going to be there for like two months. Yes. Like gel petty, red or Caj and Shrimp, that's it. Just do it. Don't live like I do. Like, you shouldn't have to live like this. And when do you think you're going to get this off?

Labor Day. I don't know. I think I'm going to go in. Wednesday. I think I got to go. Wait, I can't. I can't stop looking at them. Yeah, you should get that taken off.

You and Tessa wouldn't do that. I'm saying she's the hundred years younger than us. She wouldn't do that. It really was so funny because. I was like, Sparkleyes is going to just, he's not going to let this go because now I have given him live it down. And he's not going to let me live it down. You were just probably already asleep at that point. You were asleep because then I go to yoga. And I'm just like now everyone's going to see this fucking toes. Like I were going to take these in while I'm already living in regret. And I saw a girl at yoga. This like iconic girls got to eat listener. Her story is one of our most epic stories of when she came to San Francisco. And then we brought up her. Bumble on stage and then the guy that we called, Rana ended up dating him. Have we told this in the podcast? I think we have at like some point.

It was just iconic story and she was like, Ashley, it's me. I was like, oh my God. San Francisco girl. San Francisco Bumble girl. She did look familiar. But, you know, we meet so many people and she was like, it's me. And I was like, oh my God, we have to call Rana. So I fasedime.

Yeah, I was like, did you just FaceTime me? I phasedime. And the next morning you're like, I was 2 a.m. Like, I was asleep. I would have loved to hear from her. I wish I would have woken up. I know. I was like, well, I'm having a hard time over here with these nails. That is so funny. She'd be there for it. Did you think Sparkleyes would have brought it up if you?

Yes. I think he would have been like, what is that? We're laying in bed and he was like shielding his eyes. I was like, okay, it's enough. He is fashion. It's enough. Yeah. All right. Well, we are going to get into our topic, but I am just going to tell you guys about Nutraful. This is something that I take every single day. I can't imagine my life without it is like really just such a part of my life. I've spoken about this on the podcast before, but I had a situation where I noticed my hair was changing so much and I was dealing with extreme shedding and losing more hair in the shower and you know, you see it on like the bathroom floor and everything. And I did panic a little bit and I did some things. But one of the things I really did was like double down on taking

Nutraful. And I've noticed such a difference. My hair is getting back to normal in terms of the hair growth. Like I'm actually like seeing it come in. I can like, I have these like baby bangs. but I'm not losing nearly as much hair as I was even before. Like I feel like one of the things is like, you know how much hair you lose in the shower? You put on the shower wall. You see it on the floor when you blood your hair. Like my hair is so much stronger.

I'm not shedding as much. And on top of it, I feel like I've such stronger nails, just like stronger hair. And once I get back to my normal length and thickness, it's over free bitches. I keep saying that. I just feel like I've like another year to really get to where it's going to be. But I really cannot imagine life without neuterful.

And of course, summer is a great time to really be thinking about this. stuff. You can really wreck havoc on your hair and the beach and the pool, all those types of things. And of course, even the sun, we don't think about that. So it is the perfect time to start taking Nutriful or if you're dealing with really anything. You want to improve the length and strength and the coverage of your hair. Nutriful is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement with over one million people seeing thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding. Everyone's root causes of hair thin are different. So they really target what's going

on with you. One size fits all approach just wouldn't cut it. They have different formulas for whatever you're going through in your life and they're going to target those root causes like stress hormones, environment, nutrition, lifestyle, metabolism, age, all those types of things. And you will start to see results in three to six months. And it really does work for me. Of course, everyone's results may vary, but I've seen such a difference and I've recommended so many people and they have seen it work for them as well. So you can get results. You can run your fingers through for a limited time. Nutraful is offering our listeners, $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to neutraful.com and enter the promo code GGE.

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So let's talk about whether you tend to compare your life to others. Social media can play a huge part in that and getting caught up in this loop of like Instagram and TikTok. wishing that your life looked like someone else is. And comparison can really be the thief of joy and thinking that everybody else has these lives that you want, especially in the summertime, I think, that everybody's traveling with their best friends and their boyfriends and taking these great trips. And you're like, I'm just at work.

And I want those things. And therapy can really help you focus on what you want instead of what others have so you can start living at your best life. Obviously, I really believe in therapy. It can help with all kinds of things in terms of positive coping skills and setting boundaries, empowering yourself to be the best version of yourself and just checking in with yourself in terms of what you want for your career, your love life, your personal life, et cetera. If you are thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Stop comparing and start focusing with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash GGE today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-L-C-G-E. Okay. So we are talking about age gaps today. Hot topic. It's hot in the media, in movies. Yeah. In Bill Belichick's life. Oh, my God. Yeah. It's always been a hot topic for older men. For old men. Yeah. No, so we wanted to talk about this today. We did an episode for early first 10 episodes, 2018, called our younger men The Answer, I believe, where we talked about older woman. younger man dynamic and like why that worked in terms of compatibility, sex drive, different things

like that. And at that time, I was dating younger guys. And so it was like relevant in my life. And we just kind of discussed it back then. But we want to talk about age gaps today of all different kinds, all different gender breakdowns. I feel like my feelings on this have really changed and gotten older. I mean, there's different age gaps that felt appropriate and inappropriate in my 20s than my 30s. And like now in my late 30s, is I could date somebody 10 years younger than me or 10 years older, and I'm like at that age where like it doesn't really matter that much to me because of my life stage. You know,

like the dad and the son. Exactly. Yeah. I would date the son until you fuck up and then I'm going to fuck your dad. Yeah, exactly. No, I like the other better. The dad fucks up. You fuck his son.

I like that too. That feels more like a boss. More. Yeah. He's like, ooh, you fuck my dad? That's more of fine. That's more than sinful.

Yeah. Everything has to do with life stages, right? And where you are in life and who people are at their core. And I think that like, as we get into our 30s, people just start to know each other better. You have a better picture of how much money they're going to make in their lifetime and what their goals are and how hard they work and do they want children. And I just have an easier time sort of deciphering those type of things.

Yeah. When I was in my early 20s, 25 and younger, I wouldn't date someone a week younger. Like I was like, ew. Like I was not about it. I don't know why. Once I got into my later 20s, I started to dabble with guys that are like two years younger. you know, of course not 10 because that's not legal. When we put this Instagram story up,

one of the questions we asked was, would you date someone 10 years younger? And I was like, how do I say that this is for people of a certain age plus? And the answers were so much no, because our audience, the younger girls are like, no, I wouldn't date a 12 year old. A 15 year old, yeah. Yeah, I am not.

But I wrote like, this is for the 30 plus crowd, you know, just so we're clear. But yes, I mean, you really don't even start to think. too much about dating someone with a significant age gap till you are of a certain age, for the most part. When I was 25, I dated a 22-year-old. He felt really young to me. Okay, so there's a couple articles I pulled from, one's from the cut, one's from

Economist, and I'll link those. But this is one of those things I'm like, I don't make the rules. That is the truth. Yeah. It's fine for a 22-year-old to go out with an 18-year-old. It is not okay for a 38-year-old to go out with a 23-year-old. It is okay for a 38-year-old to go out with a 26-year-old. Fair game.

The older you get, the wider the permissible age gap. A 50-year-old can venture as old as 86. It is one of those things I just don't make the rules. No, I didn't mind 38 and 23. I feel like that's Kristen Cavalieri. Very close. 22 and 18 feels like same-life stage. 25 and 18 does not feel like the same-life stage to me.

18. Freshman in college, senior in college. It's not so crazy to me. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, freshman in college, senior in college. Somebody who's been out of college for three years, four years dating an 18-year-old, different life stage. That is true. Like when I was 18, I remember, or I might have been 17.

I might have a lot about my age. And I remember, meaning this guy, TGI Fridays. And I, like, said I was 20. And he was 25. And I ended up at his house. And, like, he didn't do anything. But I was like, the fact that I would just do that and make it out alive. You know, like, I was at this 25-year-old's house at 17.

That's crazy. And then the guy that I was jokingly said was the one that got away from. for years was I was on spring break and I was 19, masquerading is 21 with my ID, but he was 25, and that was a little weird. That's what I'm saying, but like a four year age different, wait, was it? He was 25. I was 19. But then when I was like 22, a man that was 30 was so old.

That's the oldest person alive when I was 22. Some of my friends would, like, Corey wouldn't be mad at that. Yeah, like we were young 20s. and I remember Corey hooking up with this guy. He had like salt and pepper hair. I was like, whose dad is that? You know, like one morning after hooking up with this guy, she was like, Ashley, he had a car seat in the car.

I was like, ew, we are 23. Okay, I remember being 22, 23 and one of my friends dated a 30-year-old, and I was like, do they even play beer pong at that age anymore? Ew, they're so old. They even play beer pong. We play beer pong. Little do they know. You never stop playing beer pong.

Yes, you were always. You never graduate from beer pong. I've been thinking about this a lot in general, just in relationships. and I think that like every relationship has problems and there's going to be issues no matter what. So you just have to choose what you want your issues to be. Like you and I have known people with like really significant age gaps in their relationships that have like really enjoyed it for a very long period of time. And of course there's a million things that can come up. But like there's a lot of judgment surrounding somebody like super young.

But like there's problems in every relationship. You just have to choose what you want your problems to be. And like somebody being eight, 10 years younger than you is like, I mean it's a gift first of all. But like it's a less bad problem than so many of the other things I've seen happen around me. Yeah. I mean, listen, there's stuff that feels super predatory and that's not really what we're talking about today. I mean, I do feel for women that get caught up in that. It's just like this is someone that, yes, you are legal, but it still feels predatory and fucking creepy and weird.

But I just think this is something that you cannot make generalizations about because it is so truly dependent on the person. Like how many 30-year-old men are out there so much more mature and grounded? than some 40-year-old guys. And, like, women who were 27 and ready to settle down and start a family. And then I'm a woman who's 41. I don't want children. I don't really care about getting married. We'd live our lives super free.

You were just in Europe for two weeks. You know, like, again, the 27-year-old who is just like, I don't want to be in Europe for two weeks. I want to get pregnant and settle down and, like, buy a home with a white picket fence. Like, you and I don't even own homes. But, yeah, we could. We're successful. but it's like it's just so dependent on the person.

7% interest rate. I can't afford that. Not right now. Not right now. The house market's not going to be prime until 2026. It is so person specific to me. It is so stage of life specific to me. Like I was even listening to Nick Viol and Natalie talk about their age difference.

And they, I think they have an 18 year age difference. And she's like, it wasn't a thing for me because him and I were in the exact same life stage. I wanted to get married, have a house. She was like, I don't drink. He doesn't really drink. like it's an extreme age difference but when she said like we were in the exact same life stage I was like okay yeah so it's person specific to me I guess my brother has nine years but I mean when he started dating Stephanie she was young 20 I mean she was like 24 maybe which is like beyond my

comprehension but she was yeah maybe even 23 but she was like we joke about the old soul thing because some men just say that and just like be creepy but she really is she's so grown up we always say she feels older than us. I remember going to their house a few years ago and like all of us just like drunk hanging out party. She's cooking us dinner in her home with her husband. Yes. She was like meant to be like a wife and a mother. I say that in the most like loving way. Like that's what she wanted to do and that was where Matt was. I mean, Matt had been there for a long time and he is someone who also was really ready to settle down and start a family like late 20s. And you know, and here he is a bartender can hook up with whoever he wants. He was getting so much attention,

especially once we started the podcast. I mean like he's bartending to beach town. He could just have a rotating women for life, at least for another 10 years. And he wanted a part of it. He was like, I own a home. I want to have a family. And he was just waiting for the right woman to come along. And like so many guys are not like that at his age. But again, he lives in more of a small town.

I mean, you have men run around New York City 50 years old, not even close to settling down. Totally. And L.A. too. I think that so much of what I want when I, like, think about myself is like it's not age-specific. It's a person-specific. I want somebody that can, like, clean up their own side of the street. I'm not looking to teach anybody how to live. how to go to work.

I think it's really important to, like, share advice with your partner. Of course, I want somebody that can help me and make me better and give me some advice. But, like, I'm just not looking to teach somebody how to be mentally stable, how to be financially stable. I've done that. I've done my part in the world. And that's not necessarily what I want, but that has nothing to do with age. I've met people that are 27, 28 have their whole lives together.

And I've met people that are 42, 43, and they're really flailing around. And I'm just not trying to sign up for that. Yeah, there are just no guarantees. Like, dating an older man doesn't mean you get the maturity and the stability. And dating a younger man doesn't guarantee you get all the fun hot sex and he can keep it up all the time. Like there are really no guarantees. So I think I like kind of want to even pull back any sort of generalizations and grand sweeping statements about like this and that because it's just like so dependent on the person. I mean, there's some general things that tend to be right across the board. But I mean, I haven't. age gap right now it's eight years don't love these a couple months Tessa just reminded me that somebody that I'm in two and I have 11 years between 11. She's like it's 11 right now 11. I mine's seven by the year

you know what I mean but like for a few months it is eight technically based on our age but I was just kind of thinking about my track record I mean I definitely went through the stage on the podcast where I was dating guys were like 10 years younger like casually dating like I kind of had that era where it just was like every guy was like 10 years younger and then a more serious X of mine was three years younger. I've also dated people my age, my exact age, maybe like a year or two older, but never anyone like significantly older. Like never any significant like older

age gap. And I had said on the podcast that I wanted someone my age. Like I don't want to date young guys anymore. Like I want someone that's like a fully formed adult and has his shit together and is stable and I can feel secure with. And that is what I found. Like the age, I don't ever think about it. I don't feel like he's younger than me ever. I feel like sometimes he's, He's like older than me and he's taking care of me and showing me how to do things. And I know he probably feels like that about me as well. And like we just move through the world together as like an adult couple. He's like responsible and he has nice things and he cooks and he has his plants that he takes care of.

Like he does kind of feel like that older type of person. I would never feel that way. And that's what I was looking for. And I don't know that we would have worked five years ago. I don't know. Based on where he was in life. I don't know when exactly he kind of totally grew up to really. feel like that. But it's kind of like

I was saying that I didn't want somebody younger, that I wanted somebody that had his shit together and felt like my equal, but that is what I found. He just so happens to be seven to eight years younger. I mean, I think that guys that are eight, nine years, ten years younger than you in New York, like,

they take longer to grow up in those cities. They're living in those cities because they don't have to grow up. You know, like a guy who's like eight, nine, ten years younger than us in New York, like they're there because they want to party and run around and meet girls. I mean, I think you just found

somebody who is just a stable person. I don't notice an age difference ever. I've never had a conversation with him where I was like, oof, your age is showing. You know? Yeah. Like, he just feels the same age.

Yeah. Like, you just found somebody that happens to be like that. And that's why I said, like, to me, it has nothing to do with age. I just want to be with somebody that I'm like,

oh, if I ask you for help with something, I trust that you can take care of it. Yeah. I don't have to, like, tell you how to live your life, you know? He just feels exactly the same age.

It doesn't feel like a weird You know, I think that people are concerned with that in terms of large age gaps. But I read this thing. I wanted to, like, give you a little thought starter. See what you thought about. Okay. This came from the cut. They did this huge, like, 10-page spread in New York Magazine to December.

Oh. The age-gappers, they say they're happy. Why is it so hard to believe them? And they interview all these people. Oh, I remember that headline. Okay. And they interviewed these people with really, really huge age gaps. I mean, some of them were 18 to 40 years.

And Justin Laymiller, who was on our show, is heavily quoted in this. He is a research scientist at the Kinsie Institute. It's Dr. Justin Laymiller. And he's just heavily studied this. And so he says when people see an age gap, they tend to imagine there's something intrinsically unequal about it, that the older partner wants something that they can control, and the younger partner has mommy or daddy issues,

or is just with the person for their money. However, there is no interpersonal relationship without power differentials, without advantages or disadvantages on both sides. So if you want to correct for that or eliminate that, you have to eliminate human relationships. So I like this idea that, like, you see these age gaps and you just think, like, well, they're just in it for the money,

Or they're just in it because they have like daddy issues. And like when I think about the largest power difference between me and another person, it was my first boyfriend in New York. He was five or six years older than me. I was 22. He was maybe 28, 29, which is not a significant age gap. It's totally normal. But I had just moved there.

He had been there for longer than I had. He was, I guess, quote unquote, more successful than I was. And he was very controlling. And I felt like I couldn't make any decisions without checking in with him. He knew the restaurants better than me. You knew the job world better than me. He just knew everything better than me. I remember feeling like when we broke up, like,

I don't even know how to be my own person. Like, this person just, like, controls me so much. And, again, that was very, like, partner-specific. Nobody else I've ever dated in any other age range made me feel like there was some crazy power imbalance. Yeah. So that is the default to be, like, one person, like, holds all this power. But, like, there is always somebody with, like, a little more power in every relationship

and that has nothing to do with age. Right. Yeah, it's who loves the other person a little less. That's who has a power. I mean, it just depends. some men want to date younger women because they want to feel like in control and they don't want someone to ever challenge them. I mean, I was watching this TikTok of this woman. I don't even know how it came across my algo, but just, I don't know, she was packing her man's lunch and his food for the day. And it was so extreme. She was up at 4 a.m. to like take care of this man. It was nuts. And she was loving to do it. And then I was like, he better be the Troutaway making so much money. I think he was just like a construction worker. But he, is this the middle class mom packs lunch for her husband? I don't know.

I get served this all the time. It was giving like trad wipe, but it was so much work and food. I was like, what the fuck am I watching? When she put like the sixth thing into his cooler, I laughed out loud. I was like, this is wild. So then I just went to this whole of their relationship. I was intrigued. And there was something where she said that they'd be together for her since she was so young

and he was older since she was, I don't know, 21, 22. He was older. I don't know their exact age gap. And she was like, I feel like he raised me. and I hated the way that sounded. But she's not wrong. Like it couldn't be me. And to each their own,

but like that is not a dynamic, like women that really don't know themselves yet. Like early 20s, I mean, you're fresh out of college. And you are with a much older man who does have his life set. He's set in his ways. Like you're just going to mold into his life.

Like, and if it works for you, that's fine. And if that's what you want, and you want someone to take control and take the lead and you don't really want to venture out your own and find yourself that much. Like that's totally fine.

However you want to live your life is your prerogative. But that is where I just, I think it'd be nice to kind of find yourself before like some man comes along and raises you and tells you who you are. Yeah. I think there's something, listen, for some people, I think it's really comforting to have somebody that knows the world better than they do and that can kind of take the reins. And some people are really comfortable in those type of relationships. If you are, that's great for you.

I mean, whatever works for you. I think some people are really inspired by somebody older that can be like, do this like this. Yeah. It's just, it's not for me. Like you said, I would have rather found myself a little bit more. I guess every partner's different. I've seen people, friends of mine that have been in large age gap relationships. It doesn't feel like there's a crazy power imbalance. I've been in relationships where it felt like that. But again, not because the person was older because they were emotionally abusive. So yeah, I think that it's nice for some people. It's not for me. Yeah. So we asked our audience a lot of different questions on Instagram. And of course, you guys delivered. And we always are so appreciative that you take the time to answer these questions and share your lives with us. But yeah, we talked about the older, younger woman dynamic and people said a bunch of different things. I mean, a lot of women like it because of this men maturing later than women, which is not wrong. But again, there's like no guarantees. And that's understandable. I mean, again, my whole thing is like, I just want women to find themselves and I want them to feel empowered in life and kind of be able to figure themselves

out a little bit before they really get into any sort of relationship that is like defining. And so that's why I'm always like wary of like very early 20s or God forbid, I mean, 18, 19, 20 and like some much older man. But I think if you're like mid-20s, late 20s, early 30s, you're like, I can't with these guys of this age. You know what I mean? Like you're going to want to look a little bit older. It may not always work out. Again, those guys might be even less mature, but I understand where that works. And we got a lot of responses as well of women who are in those types of relationships. You know, five, seven, eight years, 10 years, the guy is older. And they're like, this is perfect. It's a perfect age gap. It's really nice to find somebody that's like a little more settled,

you know? I mean, I'm not really like a big partier. I've never been like a, I got a blackout stay up until 4 o'clock in the morning person. And so like, I want somebody who's a little tired. Yeah. I love that for you. We got some responses like way wiser, more intellectual convos, but emotionally unavailable still. Okay. See, you know, someone's at the worst part is their taste in movies and TV and music. Like they can't relate. I like, it would be a struggle for me for somebody to like have no touchpoint for any of my pop culture references and they're not going to teach me anything that I care about, okay? I would like to date somebody younger me that's like,

this is what the kids are doing today on TikTok, so I can seem cool. You're not going to teach me about, I don't know, Casablanca and me going to like a party being like, I guess me about this full movie I just found out about? I mean, I feel so strongly about needing to be of the same generation because generations are generations

for a reason. It means that you have a shared life experience. Not saying that you and I don't relate to people who are 43, 44, who are Gen X. but like I still relate to someone that's 33, 34 more. Like that's why we're the same generation. Like we're millennials. Like I don't think I could be with somebody that didn't share so much of the same TV shows, music.

Like I do feel like Sparkalizes. I don't want to even say right in the cusp. But like we're able to have these conversations about music when certain CDs came out, Nickelodeon shows that we watched. Like I couldn't imagine really being so far along. Like what do you talk about? You grew up the internet. Social media.

Right. And then we're going to hang out with your friends and they all did two. How do I interact with all these people? Right. Who are you? Gen X on the internet. Who are you? I guess if you're talking about somebody's 60, what are you mean? No, I was just saying like those large 20 and 40 like are so, you're, you just grew up so different.

And like I would just start to be like, oh, you're so old. You know what I mean? Like if I'm a woman that's 25 dating someone my age, like, I'm. I feel like I'd be like, we don't run out the same. No. And I feel like, okay, so like I see somebody 26 and I'm like, you know, like our age. And I see somebody it's 43 and I'm like, that is, I don't relate to that. Like, I, that's not me.

I don't relate to that at all, but like that's crazy. 26 year olds look at me and they're like, okay, mom. Right. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. There's something about it. It's like you vibe on that or you don't. You feel like you're of the same generation or you don't. And like that's kind of where I, I, I just.

draw the line. You got to be millennial. Yeah, I'm not sure. Listen, I really take issue with like, okay, if my partner was like 15 years older than me, we'd like hang out with all their old friends. Like, I'm just going to socialize with these old people all the time. Well, these old people. I mean, friends is a big part of this. And I wouldn't want to feel like I'm always the oldest person around. But sometimes that is the case, I guess, technically, when I am with my boyfriend's friends, but they're almost all married. They've moved to the suburbs, like stage of life. Like they're farther along and quote unquote stage of life than I even am. So it doesn't even feel like that at all. Like they're having kids. Again, he's like one of the last ones to even

not be married. And then we were hanging out with my friends in Boston last weekend that, you know, my friend is my age. She's 41. Her boyfriend is 43. It didn't feel like there was any sort of age gap too with him, you know, being 10 years younger than the other guy in the room, you know. But I, I wouldn't like it. I don't want to feel like I'm like who brought seven to ten years older than everybody in the room, you know? It's just, it's person dependent again, like people in like California and New York, I think they just like push off growing up a little bit more. I mean, remember a couple

years ago I was dating that guy that was 10 years younger than me and I went spent a weekend of Malibu with him and all of his friends. And I was like, these kids are young. Like, I guess he was 27 at the time. Yes. And some of his friends were like 23. Right. And I was in my late 30s. Like, whatever. I can hang and I'm sure nobody was like, I can't believe you brought this. No, not at all. But like, a lot of their conversations were around like, what do I want to be when I grow? Like, what's the next move? Like, how do I find my career and what

I want to do? And I was like, these aren't the conversations I'm really having anymore. Yes. And that's part of it. It's like not about like, oh, they're so immature and young or, oh, I feel old. It's more just like these are not the conversations I'm having at dinner parties at this age and stage in life. And I mean, again, like, 10 years is different than, I feel like my age gap is not even all that significant. It doesn't really come up much. It's like seven, like, you know, we're talking 10, 15.

Yeah, but like in New York, I feel like 41 and 32 would feel like an age gap. I think those 32 year olds still running around, party and trying to fuck little girls. So we're the 41 year olds. They're all terrible. It doesn't matter. Don't date in New York or L.A. Just don't do it. Well, New York I like.

Just don't do in L.A. So, yeah, we do kind of want to talk about this, like, women dating younger men. I mean, again, we did this episode early on, but it's just coming up, like, more and more, you know. But it's not like it's a hot take. I mean, the best to ever do it was Samantha Jones. I mean, she was like, I feel like the number one where I was like, that is hot. And that was like my favorite relationship of sex in the city. And she was what, like 15 years older than Smithish.

I don't know. Don't quote me on that. But it's just more and more, I mean, with the idea of you and I just watched that movie, Family Affair with the Zach Ephron and Nicole Kim and I really liked it. Yeah, I want to watch it. I thought it was really cute. People were like, I can't get behind this couple. I was like, you will.

Why? It's a little weird. Because she's so much older than her. No, just like, it sounds weird. Zach Ephron, Nicole Kidman. What is interesting casting? That's what I'm saying. Nicole Kidman also isn't giving, I fuck younger dudes

the way that Olivia Wilde is like, Nicole Kim is not given spicy. No, it just, it's, the casting, I think people were like, say what? But it really worked. I really like the movie. And again, you know, we've talked about Kristen and Mark Estes, which is like a 13 year age gap and people have so much to say about it. She's a mom.

He's like super young. I like dating young guys, you got to find somebody that thinks it's sexy that you're older than them. You know, like, that's excited and empowered by like, look at my girl, go, somebody that's not going to be, like, emasculated by it or make you do all this shit for them. And, like, again, when I think about people that have been emasculated by me and it, like, made me, like, raise them. It has nothing to do with an age gap. Totally. I have dated guys that are 10 years younger than me, eight years younger than me. Actually, the Malibu House guy that I'm talking about.

I talked to him yesterday and he was like, I'm launching this thing. I want your advice. I'm so excited to talk to you about it. And I'm thrilled to talk to him about it because I'm like, look at that person go. And he's doing his own thing. I don't feel like he's asking me. It's not like unsexy to me, I guess. You know what I mean?

Like the people that I've had to do this for were pretty close in age to me. Like the people that felt like that were like basically your same age. Yeah. I mean, of course no woman wants to feel like fetishized or something. You know, like a guy has like an older woman kink or, you know, like some mom complex or something like that. But I think that's kind of rare. I think that exists. But I think it's like more on the rare side.

But I just think when you have a secure man, it works really well. Like they can admire and respect you and still be in their masculine and still take care of you and still be in control. You know, like it can be a world in which it like just doesn't come up. And I think there is like something to be said for sexual compatibility. You know, a lot of women would say that they really come into their own sexuality in their 30s, 40s even. You realize what you want and what to ask for and you know your body well. and there's a world in which men of that age start to slow down a little bit, and you might want someone younger that has more stamina or vitality and those types of things.

So it can be a match there. Again, that's not always the case, but you do hear women say that as well. I wanted to read this thing. This was this old article. It was from Elephant Journal. And I had bookmarked this so long ago. I remember when I was showing it to you. I think we were like in Ireland randomly.

But the writer, her name's Michelle Schaefer. And I just like pulled some quotes that I really liked about the older woman younger man. She is with this younger guy, but she says, I'm an open person and I found him to be more open and accepting than older men. Older women are more likely in those middle age years to want to rediscover themselves. They are more likely to seek therapy. They're more likely to make healthy changes in themselves. They're more likely to question themselves. Their past, their life, their beliefs. They're more likely to understand their lessons. They are more likely to do the deep work on themselves. And it talks about like women have found their confidence, their self-believe and self-love,

which makes them attractive as they radiate these things. They don't need. They want. They're secure in themselves. Their sexual energy has been reawakened, all this kind of stuff. Yeah, women get better with age. Right. And it says this perhaps becomes a potent mix for the younger man, but I'll leave this for the younger man to answer. But it just says the younger man can offer passion, excitement, often missing from an older man. They see the less jaded side of life. There's more awareness about change. And they realize that you can change if you really want to. They ignite the newfound and rediscovered passion in the older woman. So I just kind of love this. I mean, she goes on to say a lot, but she just says, we no longer want a closed off.

man we no longer want someone who holds bitterness or resentment we no longer want someone who doesn't value what we have to offer we want passion energy self-awareness fun joy we don't need validation because we know our worth we're not necessarily looking for a partner and don't need someone to make us feel good the younger man often fits with who we are and where we are in life so i just like a lot of things in this article and that's not everyone's experience you know but i like why that may be a fit you know i love it listen i love the confidence of somebody younger that's just like really excited to be with an older woman. I think sometimes an older guy can be a little more closed off because they weren't raised the same way. I mean, I think men today are raised to be a little more

emotionally in touch. People that are a little bit older are always more set in their ways. It's a huge generalization and it's not every man on earth and every woman on earth, but I do think that as women get older, they do prioritize getting better, more hobbies, more friends. I don't see that in men as much. That's a huge generalization. No, I think that's something. But I think that like, women do prioritize getting better as they get older and men don't. They have less friends. They're more lonely. They have less hobbies and interests. They let themselves go. I feel like women are just like, look at me working on me. I mean, I love that. So yeah, you're like open. You know, you want someone that's also open. And sometimes that can tend to skew younger and you're an energetic match in a better way that

you may not be with someone who is older. I mean, I think you see women just like, you know, even get divorced. And they're like, I have a new lease on. life. You know, like, I'm just restarting my life and, you know, whatever that means in terms of, like, self-discovery and self-actualization, and it may work with somebody who is younger. And I think that the problem is, like, you just don't want to mother a man, you know, and you can sometimes be with somebody who is like really fun and you have chemistry and you have great sex and you're compatible. But then you're like, okay, well, he doesn't have a savings account or a set of dishes, you know, and so this is like starting to go south. It's giving Izzy. Yeah, from Love is Blind.

And I just think when you start to take on that mother role or walking them through life, like that really sucks the desire out of the relationship. And that's where those relationships can fail. And I mean, there's the financial aspect of it too. If there's a huge like disparity there, of course. But I mean, that's what's going to be the main issue. So that's just something you got to think about. It's just person specific to me.

I think somebody can be older than you and still younger than you. Mm-hmm. You know, I've like met so many men that just like, feel so immature. And like, I went out with this guy who was like 42, 43. I was just sitting there

like his fucking therapist. Like, I'm not trying to do this. Also, I'm more willing to do it with somebody who's eight years younger than me. Not somebody who is four

or five years older than me. Right. Younger than me? Sure. Talk to me. Load me up. Somebody older, you're supposed to be older than me.

You're supposed to have figured this out. Yeah. Also, like, there's plenty of guys that are older and that are great too. You know, it's just kind of like, we don't need to make the case for them. They're doing just fine.

I guess I've mostly been older than everybody have dated by like a year or two. It's a nice dynamic for me. I like somebody exactly the same age as me. That's the dream. I'm not looking for somebody much older or might younger. The younger ones just find me. But I think you give off a youthful energy. I mean, you and I, again, like we've lived in the cities where it does feel like people

kind of stay younger, longer, and we live a different type of lifestyle. I mean, we have like a listener base that's younger and we perform these live shows. We do all this crazy stuff. and I think our lives kind of lend themselves to, like, feel a little younger. I mean, we're not tied down with anything, you know? We're not, like, married. We don't have kids. No kids, no mortgage.

Yeah, because we have nothing, actually. We have cars. We have nothing. I'm a dog. But I was thinking about it, too, like, that there's, like, a fear of aging, you know, like, if you're a woman, you're like, I'm 12 years, 15 years younger than my man, like, you start thinking about it. You're like, he's turned 40.

I'm going to be 52. You know, like, those things can start to get in your head. And I just think that women can be insecure about that. But if you're with a man who's with an older woman in the first place, he's not the type of man that is obsessed with youth and obsessed with, like, physical appearance and, like, picking apart your flaws. Like, he already thinks you're beautiful. And it's a reminder that other people don't view you the way that you view you.

And I just think that a man who has got to be with, like, the youngest, hottest girl is not the type of guy. you want a long-term future with because you will age and he will move on. But that man is also obsessed with his own looks. You know, like most likely that type of personality is like a person that's just kind of like obsessed with outward appearances and he doesn't want to age either. And, you know, I just think that's probably not the type of person you're going to be with. So I think about that sometimes. I'm like thinking about how old I'm going to be when he turns 40, you know, and you're like, oh, God. But I mean, it is what it is. But the age gap won't be any more significant. You know, like, I think there's, you know, these relationships where, like, older men want younger women because they're so good looking and younger women want older men because of money.

And there's, like, a currency to that type of relationship. And I feel like it breeds a little bit of insecurity. Like, he's only with me because of how I look and she's only with me because of how much money I have. And it feels like an unstable way to build a relationship. So there's a statistic. In 2014, the Atlantic claimed that a five-year age gap makes a couple 18% more likely to get divorced. compared to a couple born on or around the same year. While the study cited which polled American couples and ex-couples

did show an association between divorce rates and age gaps, it did not prove a causal link. Something about the kind of person who opts into a marriage with a large age gap could be driving the higher divorce rates rather than the age gap itself. So like men who seek out women that are like 20 years younger than them could be driving the divorce rate because they're marrying for different reasons. Right. And you get like five years older and they're like, I don't want you.

Right. You got over than 25? Yeah. I also think it's sort of interesting. I mean, there's a million factors, but like people that marry somebody the exact same age as them, I wonder if those people met in like high school or college. And they are just more willing to stay together because it's not something you met later in life. Like that person is like another limb on your body. You really did grow up with them. And that creates just like a different type of base. Like my brother and sister in a lot together. So they're 22. It's a different type of relationship. Yeah. You navigated the world together. Like you grew up together. Yes. Yeah, and I mean, just a couple things because we read what our audience said about older men. We asked about the older women, younger man dynamic, and 18-year age gap. This is work great for sex, not so much for life, but fun to play with. Younger men are more flexible. They aim to please. We keep misfiring on pop culture references, except we bonded over curb your enthusiasm. That is the great unifier.

More energy for life, playfulness balance, maturity levels match. People said he worships you, which is, you know, not a bad feeling. But I wanted to call out one that I also want to talk about. And it says younger brother and older sister combo. Wait, what? Like, she's an older sister and he's a younger brother. And I have this theory that that really works well. And it is what my relationship is.

Well, wait, apply it to dating, though. When you meet a man that has an older sister. I'm an older sister and my boyfriend's a younger brother with an older sister. Oh, okay. The way you read it, I was like, what is she talking about older sisters and younger brother? for the incest. No, like, I think there is really something to men with an older sister. I've said this to you before. We've talked about it. I think they're the best guys. You don't get to choose, but I have found that men who have an older sister, they've had to look up to a girl who is not their

mom. Everybody loves her mom. They have a mom, you know, whatever. But they've had to really spend their whole life looking up to a female, wanting to be like her. You know, there's got to be something ingrained in you where you spent your whole life, like looking up to a girl. And I think that there's something to that and the way that they may respect women throughout their whole life and they may make it easier to be with somebody who is a woman that is, you know, maybe more powerful and driven and even older. And so I like that someone called that out because I've been thinking a lot about that too. And like for me, like it really works and I like see why. You know what I mean? And then we also have the same upbringing where I'm an older sister. He has an older sister. I have a younger

brother. He's the younger brother. I don't know. I just find that it works really well. And I do think that men with older sisters are going to have that additional level of respect for women. I'm with you. Yeah. I agree. I know. We've talked about this. Your brother. You got one too. My brother. Well, we asked our listeners just about age gaps in general, like what they've done and how big of an age gap. And it really was just all over the board, what you guys are doing. I love to see the diversity. Yeah. He's three years older, but still acts 10 years younger than me. So like I said before, just because they're older doesn't mean that they act older. I'm 38.

He's a young 52. Best relationship I've ever been in. Love of My Life, No Notes. I mean, I love that. He's a young 52. Like, it is just so person dependent. Like, I've met people that are like 45. They're still like doing drugs and partying.

And I'm like, you're too young. I'm a 45 year old for me. There's one here, which reminded me of your aunt and uncle, 11 years between my husband and I. I'm the older one. It's so great. Is that John and Sherry? She's 10 years older. It's the best relationship I've ever seen.

Yeah. They're obsessed with each other. You don't see that a lot. Like our parents' generation, like the boomers are usually, I feel like they're usually closer in age. They are. They are. Or wherever they met.

Also, my aunt Cherry had a daughter when he met her. Oh, right. So he was like, I don't know, 24, 25 buried this woman with a kid, best marriage I've ever seen. Here's another one. My dad is 11 years younger than my mom and she was his boss. Like this, I'm telling you, I love to see those examples so much because they are a little more rare and I love seeing that it just like works so well.

16 years, he's 45, I am 29, I am not a gold digger, I have more money than him. It's embarrassing. What does he do? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm an influencer. He's a doctor, and I make more. She's like, I'm a YouTuber, he's a lawyer, and I make more. And I'm way richer. Okay, two years, he's younger, not by a lot, but enough for him to make cougar jokes. I love when there is a really small age gap and somebody makes funny you. I think it's hysterical. No, it is so funny. Yeah, you're six months. older, he's like, man, you're robbing the cradle. Holy shit. You're old as shit. Oh, here's

one. He's 38. I'm 25. Only really becomes apparent when we talk about the past. The past. I went to a Blink 182 concert last year. He went to one in 2001. She said, I was two. The way I graduated high school in 01. People that just found out who Travis Barker is

just because of Courtney Kardashian, they're like, have you ever heard of Travis Barker? It's like, yeah, you still used to do it on the school box. It's so funny because are there like young girls that Blink Winnie 2 concerts to see Courtney's husband. Like, because when you're going to these older concerts, it's really nice because everyone's like in the same age range.

Like we went to third eye blind. It was just all really chill people like in their 30s and 40s. Like my friend was at Dave Matthews band the other night and she's like, everyone here's 50. It's such a vibe. I mean, everyone's behaving. It is so nice. Okay, you know what we didn't discuss. He is one year younger, a rare mature younger man whose frontal cortex is developed.

I mean, they say that, like, your frontal cortex for men, like, don't develop until you're, like, 26. A lot of people said it doesn't develop until you're 30. I've heard 26. Is this true? I have seen a big difference in men between the age of, like, 26 to 28. Like, I don't need your advice at 26, but at 28, I'll take your advice. Are you Googling when your frontal cortex develops? It says around 25.

Oh. Some studies say 30 for men. Okay. So. Some say 45. Some say never. Some say they'll be on their deathbed, still be in a. fuck boy. My dad is

gonna be a fuck boy forever. Oh my God. Blue sheets for life. And then it says that brain development continues well into your 30s even for men. Who's to say? Men are like, I don't know. I'll do it when I do it. Yeah, who's to say? Who's to say? I don't know. This made me laugh that we can move on for this. I'm 41. He's 33. We dated for two and a half years. He'd done me because he wanted to be

single for a summer. So wanted to be single for summer. It's a big effect together after? Can you imagine? Follow up with us? Yeah. Let us know. Is it Kyle Cook. So thank you guys for weighing in. And we did ask about same-sex age gaps, because you sometimes see a lot of same-sex age gaps. I almost feel like it's more common. So that's why I thought. So I did a little bit of research. And it does say this comes from census.gov. Same-sex spouses were more likely to have larger age differences. Five percent had age gaps of

20 years or more compared to 1% of opposite-sex spouses. That's significant. I don't know. I mean, I can't, as a straight person, like, speak on and speculate on why that may be. But someone wrote, like, there's no such thing as an age gap with lesbians. It really depends on the person. She asked me what the 80s were like, age hasn't mattered when I've dated women. It all just depends on maturity. I think because there is a mutual experience of being gay, the age gap means less. Again, I'm going to, like, tread lightly.

But, I mean, we've heard same-sex couples speak about, like, a big difference could be how long you may have been, like, out. someone that's not out that's like more unsure of their sexuality and someone that's like been out for a really long time. It's been living in the world as a gay person. You know, that can affect it more. So I'm sure this just comes down to again, like same stage of life and a statistic show that when it comes to at least like marriages it is like more prevalent. Yeah.

So my final thoughts are that I don't think it really matters that much. Stage of life is really all that matters to me and like how you are with like money. Can you take care of yourself? Are you somebody that I can depend upon? Am I interested in the things that you have to talk about? Do we like the same stuff? Do we have fun together? Can you keep it up long enough for me?

Exactly. But I've had a wide range of experiences. Yeah, but like we keep saying, like they're statistically a lot more ED with the younger guys these days. So it's all bad. Yeah, it's all bad out there. Just find a dick that works and hold on to it for dear life. I just want to say, like, if you're dating younger,

talking to the women out there who may have concerns about it, whether they're in that type of relationship now or they're thinking about it. Like, you just have to not give a fuck what people think and consider the life stage you're in, reflect on if you feel like secure and calm with this person and just think realistically about the future. You know, if you want kids, they want kids, you do want kids, you don't want kids. You know, are they on a career path? Do they have the level of stability that you want, you know, if you don't care about any of that, fuck it and just have fun. But just consider those things. Don't let people project onto you.

You know, you see that, especially when we see this happening in pop culture, that everybody wants to jump down a woman's throat for dating a younger man. And it's just all their own projections and bullshit. You shouldn't care when anything's about your relationship. You're the only one that to be in it. I'm laughing because so many of my girlfriends are in these type of, you're eight years older, then Sparkleys. The wedding, seven and a half.

Seven most of the time. It's not seven years. It's seven years. It's eight years for two months. Trying to give you a compliment. Shut up. Shut up. The wedding I was just at, she's like 10 years older than him.

Oh my God. They are under the radar about it. You don't know. But she's so useful. You'd never guess it. Yes, Alana. I forgot. He was 10 years younger than her.

I think it's eight. Yeah, Alana's like eight years older than Michael. Lindsay, one of my best friends, way older than her boyfriend. Just throw it everyone under the best. It's probably like five years. Rain is like way older. I think it's five. I don't even want to call it a trend.

is just life now. Just living. We're just living. All right. Well, you guys do you. And again, thank you, as always, for contributing and answering the stuff that we post. And you can follow us on Instagram.

That's Girls' Gotta Eat Podcast. Same handle on TikTok. Girls' Gotta Eat Podcast. You can hit our website, Girls Gotta Eat.com. You can get those tour tickets to the No Crumbs Tour. We cannot wait to see you this fall.

And winter. I am Ash Hess on social media. Raina is reina. Greenberg. Subscribe on YouTube. share this episode with a friend, go out and get yours, and we will see you on Thursday. Have a good couple days, guys. Bye.