Girls Gotta Eat - What's Your Fantasy? feat. Adult Filmmaker Erika Lust

Episode Date: September 30, 2019

We are so honored to have the Beyoncé of Porn (our words, not hers) Erika Lust join us for a real and raw discussion about adult films and fantasies. She's an erotic film director/producer and truly a pioneer in the female-oriented porn world, and we're talking to her about how porn has changed peoples' sex lives for better or for worse, fantasies (and how to use erotic videos to make them a reality), where to watch ethical porn, tips for making your own x-rated home video, fluffers (still a thing?), and more. We're also catching up on our latest tour and all the shit that went down, and playing an appropriately sex-themed round of Is This Weird? Enjoy! Check out Erika's films at XConfessions.com and follow her on Instagram at @ErikaLust. Click HERE for your free week trial of X Confessions. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Rayna @OneHungryJew, and Ashley @AshHess. Check our website for merch and tour dates. Thank you to our partners for this episode: FabFitFun: Use code GGE to get $10 off your first box at fabfitfun.com. Figs: Get 15% off your first order at wearfigs.com with code GGE. ThirdLove: Go to thirdlove.com/gge to get 15% off your first purchase. BioClarity: Get 15% off everything at bioclarity.com with code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I feel like you're the Beyonce important. Like how Beyonce hires so many women and she just makes everything like really high quality and like geared towards women. Like we have the Beyonce. She's the Erica Lasta music. You're right. Sorry, Beyonce is the Erica Lusta Music. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to eat. Welcome back.

It's International Podcast Day. Oh my God. Thanks for listening. Ashley's going to tell you guys more about that. I have to tell you what happened to me anyway. Okay. You're like bursting at the seams. I was laughing so hard.

So I was on my way into your way. your building and you know what your building's like, but for those two towns, Ashley lives, and there's like two buildings. There's a beautiful courtyard in the center. So I was walking and a bulldozer. Anyway, I averted my eyes from the bulldozer and the jackhammers. I'm walking through like the beautiful courriardist. He's like really hot guy walking towards me. He's like running gear. He's just coming from like working out. He's like so hot. He's like six three. He's like kind of gingery, which I'm into. I'm sorry, what? I haven't seen him. All right, keep going.

I know what floor he lives on now. So he's walking towards me. I'm like, oh, please come into the building that I'm going in. He turns, he goes into the building I'm getting in. He, I press the button to the elevator. He comes up by me. He's like, hey, how's it going? I was like, it's great.

How are you? And we get in the elevator. We're chatting for a second. And he hits his button. I get off on your floor. And I hear him start to say something as the door is closed. What? And I bought these new shoes.

They're leather and they're like very, they're little squeaky. And as the door is shutting, my shoes let out the loudest, as farting noise. I have ever heard in my life. It was like I shit my pants as the elevator was shedding. I cannot believe this because you know 100% that guy thought that that girl held on her fart while she was in the elevator with me and she got out and she just ripped it. Exactly. Outside the elevator door is just like contemplating dying. So if he's recording a podcast right now, he's like you'll never believe this. I saw this cute girl in the elevator and she got out of it and just ripped a fart. I loved these shoes so much. I can't believe they did me so dirty.

Loudest, my feet are all sweaty. It made the loudest farting noise. That guy thinks I'm a pig now. I'm just dying, thinking about him recapping this story. He walked into the elevator. He's like, dude, I got to take with this girl. I just met on the second floor. Oh, you can't come back here now.

We have to switch locations. I never come me back here. Oh, my God. I love that guy. That's so fine. I haven't seen it. there's, I mean, still, I feel like they really lied to me about this building being almost full. No one lives in this building. I don't know what's going on. I've seen like one guy one time. I saw

another cute guy I thought it would be good for you. It was kind of brown. What floor did this guy live on? Six. Six. What floor is the Pan house on? No. Is that the Pan house floor? I don't know. Let's go troll the six floor after we had to record on. Um, knock on all the doors. When I knocked on the door and I was like, okay, I just want to let you know, like the doors were shutting and I thought we had a moment and I didn't fart. And what if he was like, what? His girlfriend opens the door. I know, his wife. She's like, who's this little girl at the door? She's like, who's this little girl at the door?

I just want to tell your husband I didn't fart in front of them. Oh, man. Anyways, so we are back in New York after a week on the road in the Midwest, five shows in five days the most we've ever done in a row. It was a real bonding experience. I think we got along really well, actually. We got along really well, but it was like really, we haven't really done that type of thing where we drive.

Like, it was really pleasant. It was like really nice. We flew into Detroit and then we drove to Cleveland. and then we drove to Columbus, then we drove to Pittsburgh, and then we flew out of Pittsburgh. I mean, separately. But it was just, it was just nice. Yeah.

It was really so nice to not have to go to airports. And, you know, we always fight in the airport. So I really did. Or I fight with somebody. Not you. You're going to hit me in an airport. If you guys haven't listened to that episode, I don't know if we talked about it.

I don't think we've ever talked about this. I think we said it on this episode. It's my favorite thing you've ever said. Some girl, like, started an argument with you in an airport. What happened? Okay. Somebody started, we were in line at, in the, security line.

At Chicago, at O'Hare Airport. Early. It was early morning. Uh-huh. And I was like, I don't know if we were talking about this podcast. If I forget, you guys might forget too. But I was like just kind of, I don't know, probably looking at my phone, huge long security line or whatever and just didn't move up the second the person in front of me did.

We're all going to get there at the same fucking time. And some girl starts talking shit behind me. And I would turn around. I was like, I'm sorry, what? And she said something so snarky. Like, yeah, can you move up like so rude? and we kind of started to get into it. And then I said to her, what are you going to do?

Hit me in the TSA line. And I just got in her face. In the TSA line? You're going to fight me? It was my fair thing. And she had nothing to say. And then it was my turn to go up because I think she was about to fight me. Then we were right in front of the security, like right in front of the TSA agents.

So if you ever want to flex at an airport, that's a good place to start a fight. Like I'm two feet tall. That's where I would start a fight. She started with me. I cannot. And I will say one of the number one things I hate in airports, in any line, in any scenario was when someone is like too close behind me. So yeah, it's annoying if someone's like moving up, but I'm also like not in a rush to go stand right behind somebody. Like do you, when people are like

right too close to you, I hate it so much. It doesn't happen in New York. It happens in every other other than every other than a whole food's line. Back up. Yeah. It's so, like in Starbucks. I'm like, I can feel your breath. I can taste you. Get out of me. Get out of me. Well, we want to talk about the show is like a, you know, we're not going to dwell on them too much, but some funny things that happen. Even if you guys weren't there, you don't want to hear about the stupid live shows. These are still funny stories. But it is International Podcast Day. I don't really know what that means besides thank you guys for listening all over the world. Yeah, really. I feel, I find that I mean, every single day, I love our DMs more. I love the meet and greets at our shows more. I just like

love getting to know all of you guys and how dynamic you all are. And I just thank you guys for listening. Yeah. And leave a review on iTunes. Also, guys, find us on Spotify. We love Spotify so much. We're big fans and you can also listen to us there. The interface is great. They're going to be doing some fun stuff on they've done cool stuff in the past where they show you what you like to listen to and people have found us on their recommended podcast. So we're going to be posting some fun things on Instagram story to maybe check us. You're used to iTunes. Check us out on Spotify today. They also have good categories on Spotify. iTunes doesn't. They have like a relationship and dating category, which I like a lot. Right. It'll be like best podcast to listen to if you're going through a breakup or something. They're just doing really cool stuff. So, Anyway, just wanted to shout them out. Check us out over there. So, yeah, we'll recap our shows. Just like an update on what's going on.

Chicago is sold out. We're sorry, guys. We are going to make an effort to come back there soon. I don't know what to say. We should have charged you guys more. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, two shows at Tali Hall sold out. Humble brag.

I don't know. I feel bad. That happened quick. We didn't see that coming. But, you know, I don't know. It's like I don't want to do what massive theaters. I still want to give you guys. is a good experience. We're doing two shows. It's kind of all we can do right now.

So we'll come back soon. Don't DM us. I just feel like there's nothing to do. There's nothing we do. I think we'll come back. Like I would, we'd never have done Chicago in the spring or summer. So I don't know. Maybe summer 2020 that sounds so far away. But I know. We'll make an effort. We'll figure it out. I'm Charleston. We got a run coming up in Charlotte Charleston. Atlanta, Charleston. There is still tickets. It's one of my favorite cities of all time ever. I can wait to meet all you girls. And we've got the opening entertainment locked in. It's incredible. I'm so excited.

So Charleston and Charleston Music Hall is going to be insane. I'm just so excited. We're saying this really cool hotel. We'll show you guys when we get there. But if you can come to that show, come to it. I mean, Charlotte sold out. Atlanta sold out.

So come to Charleston for the weekend. It's a Saturday night. And if you can't, we still take it to New Orleans. So fly to New Orleans. Fuck it. And we will have D.C. and Boston dates for you guys soon. Okay. Working on it this week.

And we are definitely working on Australia. That's not a pipe dream. I hope. What is happening? I don't care. I don't know what's happening. Okay. So anyways, that's the update on our shows. Thank you guys for buying tickets and stuff. Stupid Liveshows.com,

GirlsGuddypodcast.com. Yeah. So I want to go through a couple of things in each city that happened that were funny to me. You pick the funniest thing. My favorite thing that happened to Detroit. Okay. Detroit, we walk out. They were lit. Saturday night. I look out to the audience and there's little people in the door and I'm like, Ashley, there's four dads here.

Four dads. Gary, Bill. John and Joe. So they were sitting front row. I don't know if they were all dads. They were all husbands. So these women brought their husbands and they were, it was like the women were four in a row sitting together. Then they put their husbands on the end of the row, but still front row.

So we like made jokes with them and roasted them a little bit. But we didn't realize till the meet and greet that they almost all, that whole group of eight had custom shirts. Some said like psych or power move, whatever. But this man, a large man is wearing a shirt that he made that said, Ashley in the street Raina in the sheets I'm so dead A man

The post on our Instagram story Like a Supreme shirt We actually We have it I should put it on our story We'll put it on our story But we are going to work on shirts like that for you guys Yeah we're on it We promise we will have stuff ready for like the holiday season

Yes this week we're more than I just That was I mean Also the two girls in Detroit that both are in the military I loved them They were so great to me And they were like listening you guys When we're on our tours in Afghanistan We're just like that's I can't handle it

All I do is cry in the meet and greets. I really do love them so much. And then Cleveland, one of our favorite clubs that we have ever performed in its hilarities. I could not love them more. Like the owner of the club. Yeah. This name's Nick. Daddy.

Daddy Nick. No, he's like an older man. He's so wonderful. Granddaddy Nick. And then the guy that ran the sound was so wonderful. I think he was married. Low-key hot, though. Yeah.

Yeah. But married. But that show was incredible. There's like a point in the show when I like kind of make fun of Raina. and I look over. We were on like this end of the stage because that was like room center and I'm doing this thing where I kind of roast Raina

and she had brought a curtain fully around her on stage. She was in the curtain. I was so embarrassed. And I didn't realize it. And someone for the audience is like, she sent the curtain. Fully wrapped in a black curtain.

Ashley, the pictures is like me on me. I'm sitting there on the scene. You never looked better. I'll buy yourself up there. Columbus, I mean, I'm a guess I'm an Ohio State fan now. Ashley did O-H-I-O cheers. Both nights couldn't stop.

I couldn't stop. You know, I'm a big college football person. I went to Clemson, but that whole town is just, it's Ohio State is what it is. So, I mean, it was just really fun to get into that. And my cousins came to that show. And just Cleveland and Columbus in general, I just love that.

These people are amazing. And like, they're just so wonderful. like the people of Ohio. I actually wore an Ohio shirt the whole trip, even in Pittsburgh. This didn't gave us gifts, and it's this really cool, like custom tank that says Ohio

in this really cool letter. And I wore it to Pittsburgh. Are you serious? I worked to the sound check in Pittsburgh. She's like, this is a flex. Because Pittsburgh and, like,

Pittsburgh and like Cleveland, right, have like a weird kind of rivalry. It's a football rivalry. But like they're very similar places. I think that's why I felt so at home there because, like, it just felt like being home. I just love those cities.

I worked at the airport. I just never took it off. In Pittsburgh, you worked to the Pittsburgh Airport? Yes. Being in the Pittsburgh airport yesterday, I saw Dr. Oz, Jonathan Van Ness and Countess Luann from Rehaas and New York. It was crazy.

That is really so crazy. I was like, what is happening at the Pittsburgh airport today? That's wild. Counsel's Luan was on my plane. But tell them what she was really humble her for a second. What was she doing? She was standing in front of the airport Friday is doing a cameo video.

This is an app. They try to pay. all the time to be on it. We've never done it. We would love to do it. It's just, it's a time commitment. Like, we're just, I don't, I don't hate the idea. If you guys cameo, you basically hire people to send birthday shoutouts and shout us to your friends and stuff like that. But I mean, I'm not opposed to it. We just don't, I don't know. I don't want to be ready to be, I don't want to be camera ready all the time. It looked like dog shit. She looked beautiful. Yeah. At the airport. Airport Fridays. I just, I hear her voice just going like, Fridays, huh?

Hi, this is Luann. I just want to say, happy birthday. I'm really excited to do this for you. I'm like, oh, gosh, she's doing a cameo video on the Pittsburgh. airport in front of the Fridays. And then finally, Pittsburgh, I mean, obviously like my hometown show was a dream, really my dream come true. I loved at the theater. My whole family was there. People I've grown up with my whole life. All came with their spouses. My parent, my friend's moms and dads came. We threw, Ashley and I threw like a big party in the green room before and after. Raina, your friends, they while out. Like, you have these friends. They came to Boston. I think we talked about him then. The guy looks like pit bull, straight up. If you told me, he,

wasn't from Florida. I'd be like, shut the fuck up. Like, he is straight out of the 305. He is Mr. 305, Mr. Worldwide. And he comes into the green room so hot, wearing his blazer, literally hot. It was very hot down there. And he has tequila. He is rosé. They had a chick-fil-a nugget tray.

He had a bucket of fireball shots. Like, parties here. I mean, it was so, it was incredible. They just don't care. They don't give zero fucks. They're so savage. All your friends. I love them so much.

Thank you. We just, like, partied. I got drunk. I had a two-day hangover. It's fine. I was really hungover too, but like we didn't, we actually were really good on the road. We didn't drink that. Until the last night. I mean, I just went. The last night five, I was like, I'm doing this. Well, I texted my friend Aaron, because we went to the liquor store ahead of time and got

like wine and liquor like you and me. I texted my friend. I was like, can you just about like a bottle of vodka? Because I feel like I didn't get enough. And she was like, oh, we already have ice and mixers and snacks and shots. I was like, oh, no. Okay. I couldn't believe it. It was a blast. So if you came out to the Pittsburgh show, thank you guys so much. Ashley and I only did a fifth show on the road just to be in Pittsburgh. that fifth night. Yeah.

It was really my dream. So thank you guys for being there. And thank you to my mom for not disowning me. I just want to give an update on the Pittsburgh show because we said that we would. So we're not going to give anything away of what we do at our shows. I mean, we'd like to keep something secret if you don't already know what we do. But there was a guy that was going to show up potentially that you guys were wondering if he showed up. Because it was kind of, we had to cut the show off before we knew if he was going to come or not.

He did show up. Joe. Joe showed up. He was there for the main greet. We got photos with him. So for you guys who are at the Pittsburgh, they're dying to know some you DM just in common. Yes, he came and met this girl, whatever.

Not going to give too much away. Apparently, I think they went on a date. I don't know. And a lot of you know Joe apparently, because a bunch of you DM'd us about sleeping with Joe. Oh, man. Is this weird about Joe? A whole bunch of them, actually.

So anyway, but he was great. Yeah, everybody in that show is really, really great. We had a girl stand up, and she was telling us about a situation with a guy, and I just started to roast this guy, like making fun of him for being a fake doctor. I said he went to like University of Phoenix. I said he wasn't a real doctor.

He's a chiropractor, whatever. It's a whole thing. Another girl stands up and goes, that's my boyfriend. What? So these two girls, both tall, stunning smoke show girls. So this guy is a type and he obviously picks him beautiful. Like this girl is literally staying up telling like an embarrassing story

and this other girl stands up and was like, that's my boyfriend. I was dead. Pittsburgh girls will fight you. They will beat your ass. Okay. So I was like, girls, please don't want. fight. Please don't fight. He's just be nice to each other. Don't fight. I thought they're so tall.

What am I going to stop them from leaping over the feet? I'd have to leap. I'd have to jump in. Oh my gosh. But yeah. So that's the Midwest rundown. That's the great time. They were really incredible. Thank you guys for coming. I'm looking at this movie and the else to talk about. Well, I am headed out of town again. This, Monday as we speak, this weekend is my best guy friend Rob's wedding. So I'm so excited. It's in Spokane, Washington. So I'm headed out headed out there on Thursday. And I'm just so excited. And I was thinking about this because we talk about going to wedding.

I'm going, I mean, I'm going. I know a ton of people going. My friend Ellen and I are going to be like dates. We have the hotel together, whatever. But you talk about going to weddings in your 30s and even in your 20s, but just solo. And I'm just thinking about the people that are going to meet this wedding. It is like so many baller single people.

Like when I really thought about it, I was like, because Rob just really, I mean, he's great. He's a boss. He owns a company. He surrounds himself with like really amazing people. I'm just thinking about all the men. and women that are going to meet this wedding that are just like single living their best lives. I'm just like, this is kind of awesome. It's not a bunch of couples where I and my friend Ellen or anybody feels out of place for being there without date. It's like it's just going to be

a really fun party of like people in their 30s, even 40s. I just was thinking about it. I was texting with my friend Ashley, she's such a boss. Like she's coming alone. Like we were talking about our dresses and I'm thinking about some of the guys that are coming alone. I'm like, this is going to be so fun. I'm excited for you and I'm excited for you feel like that because we get a lot of emails from girls, especially over the summer. They're like, I'm going to wedding by myself and if you're really uncomfortable and like there's just there's nothing you should ever feel uncomfortable about if you guys want listen to our wedding episode that we did in late April right yeah um but yeah there's nothing to ever feel bad about it's like so exciting and fun

just get drunk have fun yeah and it just about a great dress like you know it's it's inspiring like all these like all these people are like killing it living their best lives and they're just like rolling up single we're just going to party i can't wait but i'm that's what i'm up to this weekend so and then another wedding next weekend after that my cousin lindsey and buck who you love. Buck Fox. So you weren't going to go, but just because, I mean, you have other stuff to do, like, whatever, we've been on the road a lot. And then Lindsay texted me and she was like, hey, you and I were together when this happened. We're in the hotel. And Lindsay texted me, and she was like, hey, we want to like joke around and have Buck do it like sexy garter dance.

And we need a good song suggestion. Like, we're thinking pony, but maybe something more original. And I told you that and you're like, well, I'm going now. Now I'm going. Buck Fox. I love Buck. It's, it's funny because your cousin, Lindsay is so, like, classy and sweet and quiet. like Buck's going to like do a stripper dance at the wedding. Buck has such stripper vibes anyway. I know he does. And I gave her some suggestions, but I was like, Pony is the song.

Like you hear that, you hear Pony start and you're like, fuck yes. No one's ever done this at a wedding. She'll be the first person ever to get that dance at a wedding. You think? How many people do you think allow this to happen at their wedding? That's true. People are like, like your friend Robb, like,

can you imagine having Rob's wedding? Can't wait. Do you want to talk about sexting? I think you want to like... Oh yeah, just one last thing before we jump into the episode. We love all, like every week, like we have flooded with so many messages about the episodes. I was clearing our DMs today and we got a million follow-offs from the sexting episode. You guys really took the advice, some really good stuff, some really bad.

A lot of you texted your boyfriends. I'm in a meeting and all I can think about is you bending me over this table. Yes, girls. Get yours. Tons of you said that you had the best sex of your life following this episode and that you're like getting comfortable being dirty, which we love. Other ones of you said that you tried it once and all of your boyfriends were confused. My favorite was some girl said, I'm getting so hot thinking about last night to her man. And he said, we'll turn the air conditioning down later.

Also, I feel that vibe. But that's rude. No, he like, she had never done something like that before. So I think he was confused. So a lot of guys sent like thumbs up and weird emojis and memes. She's like, keep trying. Keep trying to ease your men into it. You'll get there, girls.

I got to reach you the DM I got last night. yesterday. I got this at 8.46 p.m. I love this. This is why we do what we do. You know, she said, oh my God, I had to share the story with you because you will appreciate it. I just fucked one of the hottest guys, and he literally would not stop saying shit. Like, you're so fucking hot and you're so sexy the whole time we fucked. And after, like, the 10th time of him saying it, I couldn't help but think about you and how you would love that. Like, you guys are thinking about this when you have sex.

I am so honored. So flattered. I mean, the best thing anybody's ever said to me, the hardest I ever cried, is that somebody told us that we encourage her to dirty talk and she's been having the best sex and orgasm in her life. It's the greatest compliment you could ever give me. Well, speaking of like sex and sex, I don't know what else. We didn't really intro the episode yet, but we're talking about porn today. Yes, porn. Do you want to intro our guest? Yeah, I do, because we haven't done porn yet and I'm really excited. I've been in porn and we've talked about porn. We've been in porn. We've somebody really great in the studio with us today. We have a

acclaimed erotic film director Eric Kulestra Thess, who creates sex-positive indie adult cinema that portrays sexually intelligent narratives, relatable characters, and realistic hot sex. She has done TED Talks. She has won a slew of award. She has directed 160 short films. I will never accomplish that many things ever in my life.

We'll have that many episodes. Welcome to the show, Erica Lest. Thank you so much. Thanks for being here. Sounds like I'm a superwoman. You kind of are. I love that you said intelligent because I watched one today titled A Feminist Man. Oh, nice.

There's lots of them out there. Raina was like, of course you're watching this one. But it wasn't in English. There wasn't a lot of talking, but talking, it wasn't in English. I was like, this is still hot. Was it French or was it? I actually didn't know. That means it probably, I don't know.

I know some French. I don't need to know the language to watch more. And I'm good. But I have to tell you, this is so great that you're here. Ashley DMed me or texted me the other day. and she was like, I want to have this woman on the show. She's so great. And I was like, she lives in Barcelona, but like, I'll give it a shot.

And I emailed and you are just randomly in town this week. Crazy. It worked out. Yeah. It did work out. So why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself? About myself. Well, you know, I was born in Sweden, moved down to Barcelona many years ago.

I lived there the last 20 years. And actually, for me, it all kind of started because I was watching porn when I was younger. and then I had this feeling that somehow I didn't really connect with the kind of porn that I found. Something was not working for me, and it seemed to me like most of my guy friends out there, they had a very easy time with porn, you know. Porn was just part of their life. They used it, they liked it. But then somehow when I talked to women, we had this feeling that we didn't really like the way women were presented.

And I didn't really feel like they were telling stories that felt relevant to me. Somehow women were always kind of treated as this sexy object or, you know, the kind of tool to male sexuality. But it was never really about them, about the women and about their fantasies and about their pleasure and their sexuality. They were just there to give pleasure, but not really to experience pleasure. So I guess that that kind of idea got stuck with me somehow. Back then, I was studying political science. So I was, you know, in a period in my life at university where we were analyzing everything, deconstructing, trying to understand the world.

So I probably did just the same with porn. Right. And then that idea kind of kept with me for a few years. and then later on in life I had moved down to Barcelona and in Barcelona I had ended up working in the film industry. I was working as a production assistant, production manager on different sets, lots of them like advertisement and that kind of stuff. But still I had learned how to make film.

And then I had this opportunity to make a short film. And I asked myself, what kind of film, what do you want to do? And then I got back to that idea. I had had, you know, years before when I was thinking about porn. And I said, I would like to make like an erotic film, maybe even an explicit film. But like based on my fantasies, based on, you know, my reality on something that I would like to see. Like, you know, like an indie porn somehow. Did you ever think I want to be in the porn or I want to be behind a camera?

Like what were the day one, where do you want to be? Well, day one for me was very clear. I wanted to make it. I wanted to be behind the camera, you know. I saw myself always as a creator. I mean, like everyone. Obviously, I played with a camera sometimes, but in totally private situations, you know.

But for me, it was about trying to create something new, trying to create, you know, films based on the female game. Nice. Right. Well, just probably, we talked about this today, so I don't really watch a lot of porn. Because for that reason, like, I am a super feminist and I just don't want porn that's designed for men where the women are getting treated the way that I want to be treated in the bedroom. So that's why I heard about you on a group text I have with my girlfriends and we were talking about porn and a friend of mine told me about you. I was like, this is women's real fantasies and it's made for women.

and I'm not that men can enjoy it too. Of course. So I just love what you're doing. I think it's so important. And of course, you know, Raina exclusively watches lesbian porn for the most part. I just think I don't like to watch. It's like also violent,

like watching what men do to women in porn. It's not violent. Like, and whatever your fantasy is, it's great. I just, I don't love watching a woman just get like skull fucked. Oh, geez.

But this is, this is what's happening today. And it's actually, I think it's a huge problem, really, because porn has become such an important media. I mean, people are talking about that porn is representing, you know, one third

of the internet capacity out there. So we're talking about huge numbers. And then the kind of porn that's popular today, most of that porn is really, really shitty porn. I'm so sad to say it because I do love porn and I think there's lots of potential in porn. But if you go online and you go on these tube sites that's out there and you see,

the kind of language that they are using when you're speaking about women. Everything is about punish fucking sluts. Yeah. And that has nothing to do with, you know, eroticism or positive sexuality or whatever. Of course, you can do whatever you want to do in a role play scenario. I'm not saying that, you know. But when you see that everything they're talking about is choking and banging, and smashing and destroying women in all kind of ways.

Then it's, it doesn't feel right any longer. I'm so glad you're here. You're really speaking to me of why I've never really gotten into porn. Well, she told me this morning that she'd never watched porn. I was like, years of friendship, this has never come up. Because I watch a lot of porn. I've watched a little, like old school stuff. But even then I wasn't into it.

I also don't like close-ups of penises. So I do like that you have the lesbian porn category because I started watching some of those today too. she was like maybe I like lesbian porn. I'm like, yeah, girl, welcome. But I love it. And also one that my friend recommended, who's the fan of yours, was the pouring pleasure, which is based on like kind of the notebook.

Like it's this like sex in the rain. It's all about like how the rain is so erotic. And it's like the scene in the notebook. And I'm like, this isn't for me. Like based on the hottest scene of the notebook, a whole short porn film. It's incredible. But that's the outer aspect. I mean, for me, it was.

was about representing women and our sexuality, stories told from our perspective, that that was obviously very, very important in the sense of how we are actually seeing, you know, gender representation on screen, not only about women, but also men, what roles are they actually playing. But it's also about participation who's behind the cameras. That's a whole other aspect that I think is extremely important. So I have so many women in my crew, you know, I work with all, kind of technical position, women behind the cameras. But I mean, there's so many aspects in making it different. It's also about the audiovisual quality,

because that's also something that I get annoyed with many times when I try to just watch, you know, go online and watch porn. And it looks so shitty. It looks so bad. It's like, hey, there's no one here who knows anything about how to make film, you know? I feel like you're the Beyonce important. Like how Beyonce hires

so many women and she just makes everything like really high quality and like geared towards women. Like we have the Beyonce important. She's the Erica last of music. You're right. Sorry, Beyonce is Erica Lusta music. She's been known as that. Okay. Also, Erica's husband is here. Oh, yeah. Erica's husband is here. Her cheerleader

is at the table. He's clapping. He's clasping. My personal cheerleader. He's thrown up, thumbs-ups over there. Yeah. He's hanging with D. So the porn that I typically watch is really low budget. I watch a lot of like Red Tube or Porn Hub, which is like people, I know you're the one she just shut all over you. I just, I'm glad that I found you because, yeah, it's like cell phone quality pornography.

But what has happened, you know, the last 10 years, I mean, these tube sites, they kind of took over the industry. If we go back, I mean, everything was different. Porn when it started to become something big in the 60s and the 70s. It was actually made by creators, by people having, you know, ideas and visions and wanting to tell stories and narratives and showing it in some kind of artistic way. And then the video came around, do you know, and that changed everything because the prices went down dramatically and lots of people started to buy video cameras. Yeah, anybody can do it. And lots of people who, you know, were around strippers, girls, et cetera.

And they say, had, hey, let's film them. Let's do this. You know, let's make a movie. So they started to do this kind of video tapes. And selling them, of course, earning money and more and more. And porn kind of turned into this sausage factory somehow. But this really low bar. Exactly.

The quality went out of it. And then Internet came around. and again, you know, changed the rules. Some studios were created. It became kind of big studios in California, in the San Fernando Valley. Everybody was talking about, you know, the big porn industry growing there. But then again, the rules changed with, you know, the tube sites, taking over the business and, you know, putting it out there for free for people.

Because before you had to pay if you wanted to watch porn. You know, porn was actually something that was valuable somehow. Well, porn stars were more valuable too. I will say, like, growing up, like, I knew of porn stars. Like, Jenna Jameson was like the most famous person. I mean, watching her, like, masturbate on the Howard Stern movie. Like, I was like, this is a star. Yeah.

Like, porn, like, that just doesn't exist anymore today? No, it changed. It really, really changed. And I think lots of people, they don't really know. know how the industry works today, but it's actually kind of a monopoly out there. I mean, it's one company called Mind Geek. They're based in Montreal, Canada. They are the owners of most of the tube sites that you probably know by name.

We always like to think these sweet Canadians. They're like running the porn. And it was started by a German guy. Well, that makes that tracks a little more. Okay, I want to kind of end on some more like ethics of porn and things like that, but I want to really get into some meaty, like, fantasy type of stuff. And I think people want to know that kind of thing. So you take what people confess they want to see and you make them into short films.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a site online, you know, ex-confessions.com, where people are sending in their fantasies and their sex stories, adventures, kings, things they, you know, would like to do or have done. And they do that anonymously. And then me and my team, we read all this fantasy. or stories or whatever. And then the best ones or the ones I like the most

because I'm the one deciding. So, you know, what catches my eye? I make films out of them, you know? What a dream job. This is, these stories are hot. Okay, listen, I was reading them this morning while I had a plumber at my apartment. Whoa, it already starts.

Speaking of fantasies. No, we fucked. No, I'm just kidding. No, but I was like, Ashley, this is so great. I'm like my headphones in. I'm like watching porn while he installs a sink. Like he's 10 feet away from me. He has no idea what's happening right now. And these stories were like, I was so turned on. They're short. They're well written. There's a lot of like illustrations to accompany them. There's a lot of art on the website as well.

Erotic art. And there's like a blurb. I mean, you read a little synopsis, I guess, of the inspiration behind the short film and things like that. I mean, I want to know what you, obviously we can look on the site and see what's there. But I I want to know what you get day in and day out. I mean, do you feel like there's any common themes that are people are super into? I mean, there are things that just everybody kind of wants to do that comes in all the time. I mean, the story is about threesomes. Okay, come on.

I don't know how much you have been talking about threesomes here. No, or for women wanting another woman and a man or two men or whatever, all possible combinations, you know, but that's very popular stories. And then there's a lot of them around role plays. Okay. So that's kind of popular. That your partner is like, or like that like a slutty nurse. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, lots of them around BDSM about submission, about domination, about, you know, wanting to imagine different kind of scenarios. Today you will be the plumber and that kind of, that kind of situations. Infidelity. Kind of popular. Okay. I would say.

Infidelity is popular in real life too. And you break it up on the site, which is cool. There's a threesome category. Yeah, yeah. Also a food category. There's lots of different categories. When I saw food porn, I just loved it. I was like, this really, I did food blogging for a long time.

I was like, food porn, okay, this is right up my alley. Stories does somehow have to do with food? Do you ever get surprised? I get surprised all the time. What would surprise you? But you're like, oh, wow, I never thought. That would be a turn on for someone. But then I guess it also depends.

I mean, I hear people telling me all the time that they feel surprised also by the films. For example, that maybe they never thought about feet. And then suddenly I made a beautiful short film that I love so much called Dirty Feet. And it's just, it's so poetic and it's so visually, just wonderful. And when I show this film to people, it almost always has reactions. You know, people saying, oh my God, I felt that feet were just like a smelly area, area of your, you know, body and that I was never going to be turned on by something like that. But then suddenly I saw this film and now I can't want to go out there and lick feet. Well, I mean, no, feet definitely.

Foot fetishes. We get a lot of messages about foot fetishes jerking off with wanting foot jobs. Yeah, foot jobs. Stuff like that. We want to talk about just porn, if you feel like it's changed people's. sex lives for better or for worse. I think there's two sides of like, is it harder to please your partner because they're into all this kinky shit? Or is it, are people getting better at sex? I mean, not that you're in the bedroom with people day and day out, but what do you think about

it? Well, I think it can definitely work both ways. I mean, we see today, for example, that lots of young people are having hard times with real connections and real relationships, they have watched so many hours of porn before even starting to have sex, you know? And then they get all these misconceptions about how it works and what is what is supposed to be about, really. Before they've even had sex, I never even thought about that. I mean, today, porn, yes.

Kids are watching porn and they haven't even done the thing. Of course, it's starting. If you had to, like, pay for porn websites when we were kids, there wasn't as much free porn. You didn't have smartphones. You would, like, steal your parents, credit cards. and sign up for one, use your parents' computer. No, we didn't have laptops or smartphones.

I mean, you were on your parents' computer. It just wasn't happening, I think. So, like, when kids had sex with us for the first time, they hadn't been watching porn for years. Absolutely not. No one of watch it. Okay, continue. Sorry, we didn't have to do it. I just, that kind of blew my mind to think about that.

Yeah, but that has changed very much. I mean, today we are giving technology to kids who are very, very young. So they are starting to watch, you know, 9, 10, 11, 12. there are kids online watching, of course, because they are curious about sex. And because the sex education in our schools is still so poor in many, many, many parts of the world. So what do they do? They turn to the internet to learn about sex. They end up watching porn, most of that porn on these tube sites,

showing, you know, the worst situations, kind of. And then they start believe that that's what it's supposed to be. And I think it's very important to communicate to young people that porn is actually very different from sex. I have a project online called the pornconversation.org. It's a project for parents and educators to learn about how can they actually talk about porn with young people. Because the idea of not talking about it, it's not a good idea. I know it's the first thing that comes to people's mind. Like, oh, no, porn.

I don't want to talk about this. They shouldn't watch it. What is this? You should never watch porn if you're that young. But then there's reality and they are doing it. So as an adult, you need to explain to your, you know, teenagers especially that that porn is different from sex, that porn is an exaggerated fiction, you know. This is like films.

There's lots of films out there about superheroes and Superman who can fly. And it's exaggerated fiction, you know. And in porn, basically, what you see is people having, you know, sex, hard penetration, four minutes, and then the woman, she seems to come in crazy orgasm. And, I mean, that's not what it's like. Yeah. You know, sex takes time. It takes time to get to know your own body and not a person's body.

to connect with someone. So what we see today is a huge problem, especially amongst young men, that have become very, you know, intensive kind of porn viewers. They go online, they open window after window after window, and they see like impact, impact, impact. And then when they are trying to have sex in their own life,

they have a hard time to even get a hard on. Yeah. This is like my nightmare. Well, and I think they probably expect women to be doing, doing crazier and crazier stuff. They do. They do expect. And there are stories. I hear stories all the time of young people in situations where, you know, first time.

And he tried to choke her because he had seen that in porn. And he felt that she was probably going to like that very much. And then, you know, he didn't even tell her. And he did it from behind. Then she got scared, you know. Well, I think it's numbed people's ability to, like, realize, like, what is okay and what's not or, like, where the line is. Yeah, if somebody choked me.

from behind and didn't bring it up. And this is stuff you discuss with your partner. Absolutely, but maybe they don't see that porn stars aren't discussing it on screen and like, is it okay if I keep you a choking, reach around? Yeah. And then women, you know, getting in there instead of looking for their own pleasure

and trying to, you know, to have a good time, they are just there to try to please the men because that's what they have learned from the internet porn. And this is just sad. And this shows that, you know, that porn is becoming very, influential and that as a society we need to start talking about this. We need to dare to have these kind of conversations because they are important. But at the same time as this is one of the effects that's happening with porn, there's another effect and that is people, I see it all the

time people writing to me telling me that, you know, thank you so much for the films that you are doing because they really help us to start communicating about sex because people are you know they they have curiosities and they have needs and they have wants and they are afraid to talk with their partners about what they actually want to do or have having you know done to them and I see that if they watch a film together you know it's kind of films that I'm making that has a narrative and a story and, you know, developed characters that communicate with each other and that are talking about sex with each other, that helps them to open up that conversation, to start talking, to say, hey, did you watch that? Did you like it? Would you like to do something

like that? Yeah. And I'm glad that you brought up couples because we really wanted to talk about how you introduce this to your partner. And we've talked a lot about sexual fantasies and like if you want to introduce those that a good way to do that is with porn just because, like, it's a good way to say like, hey, would you maybe want to try to do pegging or whatever it is? And I think that, like, I mean, maybe not in Europe, but certainly in America and certainly in the middle of America where people are much more conservative, it's hard to bring those things up. I mean, if somebody in New York City, I forget that, like, anybody can bring up anything. It doesn't sound crazy.

But I think a lot of girls grew up, like, in the Bible ballot, in really religious in communities where sex is not talked about. So if you think to bring this up to your partner, you're a whore. And so what do you think is, which I obviously don't think that, how do you think like you can introduce this stuff to your partner? Well, I know that it's a problem and I know that people are having a very hard time to start talking about it. So we actually developed an app that is quite cool.

It's a game that you can play with your partner and you can download it. And it's called X Confessions. And then you get to create, you get to create. you know, each of you an account, and then you get presented with cards, talking about different ideas, different fantasies, different things that you could do, and you can swipe left or right, depending on if it's something that you would like to do or not. And then... Wait, so your husband's showing it to me right now.

He's the silent fourth mic in the room. So are you playing this face-to-face with your partner? Are you guys playing this kind of remotely? You're playing it by yourself so no one else can see. and then only the cards show up that you have in common. So then, for example, you know what the other person would like to do. So if you, you know, if you, for example, approve the card that he didn't approve. Wait, it's like a dating app for your sexual fantasy.

Exactly. They won't know the freaky stuff that you swiped on unless they did too. Yeah. What is this called? Ex-confessions. Oh, this is on ex-confessions. Okay. Oh, my God, I love this.

He was just showing me. Yeah. So he's like with Erica and Pablo are like, you know, doing the app together. and their set of cards shows up the stuff that they're both into. I got to ask, what do your kids think about this? Oh, they are so proud. My daughters, I have two daughters. How old are they?

Eight and twelve. Okay, so they're not really watching porn yet. But, you know, they obviously, they know what we do. They know that I'm a film director. They know that I do films where people have sex. They are fully aware what sex means and what it is. But for them, it's kind of, you know, it's something they think it's you know they go if we kiss each other they go like what are you

doing you know they are at that age where they don't feel like it's something really sexy they don't understand why you know why would adult people want to watch people having sex kind of good your husband's also showing me picture yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'd like you just pop in with like the props every few minutes yeah with the props he prepared in the background so and also The thing with that, the app, like, that's a more private way to do it. If you're a little bit more, maybe on the shy side, but you could whip that out between the two of you. And you could run through those together.

Yeah, definitely. I think there's lots of tools out there, too, of just, like, games to play, to kind of feel where your partner is sexually and what kind of stuff they're into. But I mean, in the end, what you've really got to need to do is kind of break the silence. You're going to have to dare to have this kind of conversations. Because if you don't, you're probably never going to be able to do what you want to do. And that's a pity. I mean, that's not really living your life at full, right?

And I think, I mean, I'm just thinking about this because I haven't really dated somebody that we sat down and watched porn together. But we would sit down and watch other internet videos together. So I feel like what's the harm? Like YouTube clips? Yeah, like YouTube clubs are like dog videos. So why, I mean, I can picture a scenario if you're comfortable with somebody that you're just hanging out on the couch, you're having a glass of wine.

And you're like, hey, you want to watch this thing? I think it's such an iceberg. And I just love that you're making this type of content because, yeah, I don't want to watch this terrible porn of some women, some woman getting choked or called a slut or something with my boyfriend because I don't want that personally and no judgment to anybody that does. But something like yours, I would love to put that on and just both get in the mood and it's short. What are the average length? Well, it depends a little, some are 20, some are, but yeah, around 15 maybe. Yeah. How are you finding your actors?

Because I think that's probably like a big thing for you in terms of ethical porn. Finding people that really want to be a part of it and haven't had some like, I don't know, for lack of a bit. Like I weren't forced into it. Yeah, but I think that's also kind of a misconception that most people have. They think that, oh, so people in porn,

there are probably poor people without any possibilities and they just ended up because they didn't have any other choices in their life. And actually that's very far from the truth. Most people that I have worked with and that I have met in the adult industry, they are very smart people, clever, responsible, taking care of their health, doing this kind of job because it's something that they really like and want to do and they love the flexibility that the job is giving them and being in front of the camera and earning an okay salary for not that many hours of work.

etc. So I think we need to kind of, we need to to understand that it's not just you know, poor people who ended up without any other choice in life. Yeah. Oh, I don't think they're a crazy thing to go into at all. I mean, I think it's,

if you're a sexual person, you want to have sex on camera, I'm sure that you make a great living for yeah, not that many hours a day. I think it's great. I want to talk about what it's like on a porn set. Like, do you have a lot of takes? Is it usually like, what are the directions and the cues that people? will get most often.

Well, actually, you know, if you're talking about my film sets, they look like any film set. Oh, of course. It's a very professional ambient. Everything is planned before. We work with storyboards. Everything is agreed upon. And then the only thing that really is different is the moment where we are going to shoot the sex because it's actual sex. and then it becomes more like a documentary shoot than a set-up kind of film shoot.

And what we do is having all kind of talks before getting into it, making sure that everybody is comfortable. First thing in the morning, for example, is all the actors who are going to have some kind of sexual involvement. They look at their health testing to make sure that everybody has seen the other people's result. Then we go through again boundaries and limits, what they like to do, what they don't want to do. We talk about condoms, we talk about lubricants, we talk about toys, if that involved, you know. We are having all these hard conversations that people in real life sometimes are trying to avoid because they just think that, you know, sex should just kind of happen.

organically. And I think that that is one of the problems in our culture. You know, we need to get into detail with this kind of thing. If we would do so, we wouldn't have that many problems around consent. Well, that's a whole other episode. I want to know what are the most popular pornography categories. And maybe there aren't any, but like what are the most asked for that you think? I don't know. It's difficult because if you would go to these tube sites, for example,

they would probably tell you that their most popular categories would be milf or teen. Melf, interesting. Yeah. But then, you know, in my audience, for example, we don't categorize people in that way. Interesting. No, absolutely. So it's not, you know, because here is one of the problems that I also see with this tube site. online that they try to categorize us in every possible way, you know.

Oh, and it's so specific. Yeah, and it's about our race and it's about, you know, our ethnicity, our body type, our ages, et cetera. They're even talking about in the porn industry that there's a huge gap today, but for women between like 25 and 35, that they don't get work. Because it's either they're like, go into the teen category or they have to turn Kenneth 35 to get into the milk category. Cheese.

Yeah. 35, you're doing milf porn. That is so insulting. I mean, that's an age to be a mother. I know, but like I think of myself and I'm like, am I almost in milk category? Am I edging towards me? I've been for a while. Well, you're a milf, yeah.

Right. You look great. Thank you. So on your site, is there, like, is threesome probably one of the top ones? Probably, probably, probably. And that's probably even, again, I just think these tools like porn are a great way to talk about what you want to do in the bedroom.

Like if you're pulling up ex-confessions and you're like, oh, threesome, why don't we see what that's about, engage your partner's reaction. It's a little bit easier way than asking straight out, do you want to have a threesome? Exactly. Are there categories you absolutely will not touch?

Well, I wouldn't put racial categories out there. You know, all these categories that they have on the tube sites like Latinas, Ebony, Asians, etc. I would never do that. I think that's just ridiculous. I mean, in porn, another category that is extremely popular in general is interracial sex. But this is just, I just find it insulting because it's not really about people from different. kind of

ethical backgrounds coming together having sex that's not the category it's like a pink almost right what it is it's like

it's small tiny white girls being fucked by big black men that's the category and I mean it just seems stupid so I mean imagine on Netflix

if there would be like an interracial category so that would be strange who's watching that are white men wanting to watch that well it's one of the most popular category. I'm just wondering what the demo is.

Sometimes people I think would want to imagine themselves in the fan. It might be small white girls. It might be big black men. Probably everybody. I mean, I watch lesbian porn. I'm out of lesbian. So I don't know. There's different strokes. I guess I just think the most, the widest group of porn consumers is probably white males. Am I right? It's the group who has the most power at the moment. Right. That's what it's about, you know. And they are the ones being, you know, seen as the norm and it's their gaze that we are all looking at whatever we are looking at, you know, if it's photography, if it's porn, if it's television, if it's, if it's a museum you're going to,

you know, it's everywhere. What we see is the white heterosexual male gaze. Yeah. That's what's out there, you know, and that's something that we really need to change. All of us together, not in this room. Yeah. We have the white male in the corner, not even talking. But I want to hit you with a scenario and see what you think.

So let's say there's a couple, hypothetically, and they want to make a sex tape, just like your average couple, they want to make a sex tape, not to show anybody or put it on the internet just to have for themselves to watch, to turn each other on. They just want to have it on file. Do you know this couple? I know one couple. It's me, Ashley. It's us. Do you have any tips from a director?

What's the best way to make an at-home sex tape? You set up a try to have a couple cameras, yeah. Do you don't want anyone to see it or you want a whole world to see it? It's for you two to have. Only for you two to have. Well, then. Best angles. Any best practices?

You tell us. Yeah, yeah. Actually, I made an e-book a while ago called Let's Make a Pornow. Okay. It's online and you can download it for free. And there's lots of tips in there how to actually think about. about it, create it, shoot it, props, you know, all, all the things that you can do it on an iPhone today or you think people should get cameras?

Oh, you can totally do it on your iPhone. Great. You just get a try it on the iPhone. I mean, the new one has free cameras, I think. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think you may be, because you want multiple angles. I think you need to, it's important where you put the, or if you feel comfortable, you can, you know, hire someone who can film it.

Right. Then you would have even better footage because it's always. Yeah, of course, because it's always a little difficult if you have to do a setup and you can't change the camera angle. How do people on a porn set not get turned on? Are they just so professional? I don't even, I mean, it's sexy. It's like, I guess maybe not because it's, I don't know, you're telling me. Are you desensitized to it today?

You just feel like. No, I don't think it's at all about the decentitized or however you say that word. You were close. Does it just feel kind of like. No, but I mean, it's for me, it gets so technical. I have, you know, when I'm shooting, I have so many responsibilities. I'm there to manage a whole team. We are almost 20 people behind the cameras.

Everything is about, you know, getting everything right. So it's just the brain is not operating on a sexy kind of level. It's operating on a technical level somehow. But then, yes, there are. are moments, you know, because I normally sit behind a monitor. And there are moments where you can just see that the actors are really, really connecting with each other, that they are having a fantastic time. And there are times you go, oh my God, this is hot. Yeah. There's times like that, obviously. I think of, have you seen love actually, you haven't seen

it right now, right? I watched it at Christmas at your parents' house. Oh yeah. You've seen Love Actually, the movie, there's a scene where they're shooting that porn. Years ago. And it's so, like, technical and clinical. They're just chatting about their day while he's fucking heard. I always think of that scene how, no, that's not sexy at all. But, like, you said, there's moments where they're, like, really, the passion is there. Yeah, yeah.

Everybody's like, oh, I'm turned on. Oh, do you have, is this a real, is, is it like a real job? We have, we have 20 fluffers ready for every set. Oh, no. Oh, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Well, there's only so many people you get in the room. Fluffers. Fluffers is a thing from the 70s, you know. You probably seen this. Well, Raina was, we were born then. No, I'm just kidding. We weren't alive. I'm kidding. But like, fluffers, if you guys don't, if you live under a rock, it's like, person who's on the set just to like keep people hard.

I mean, the best, the best, the best way of, of getting it right is just when you do the casting, you ask your performers who they would like. like to perform with. Oh, to get them turned on. Yeah, because they all have their lists of like their favorite coworkers, people they love working with, people they are already attracted to, you know. And it's, if you get people who are into each other, then it's easy. Then you don't have 20 flippers. Do you, you already, I mean, you see them.

They come in in the morning, they start chatting, you know. They are already getting into that. level because also people who work in this industry and who are professionals, they need to work with their feelings. So it's like any acting, you know, they get into it. Do you, are there problems with, are there erectile problems on set though? I mean, it could happen, of course. It's, I mean, it happens in real life. It happens on set sometimes. But it's like, but it's not, it's not, it's not such a big deal. I mean, I guess that in, in regular mainstream, porn where everything is about a big, hard dick, it must be a huge problem.

But on my sense, it's not really a big problem because it's not phallocentric. You know, it's not, everything is not turning around the big hard dick, you know? There's many other things you can do sexually. I mean, hello, penetration is just one aspect of sex. Oh, I'm with you. I just like think of it. I'm like, I want to, I think of it from like a comedic. standpoint. Like, are there these moments where it's like, oh, but if it's time for the big

hard dick scene and he's not hard, what do we need to do? But you know, if there's a situation, no, but inform, first of all, inform your actors, so they always know more or less when the timing is going to come. And then make sure, you know, when you are planning the sex in a day of shooting. I mean, don't plan it after lunch, for example. It's going to be hard, you know, if you do that. Because everybody's eating like a burrito. A little bloated. Yeah. And tired, lethargic. Are you not? I'm with you. I only shoot my porn in the morning.

Absolutely. You're feeling skinny. No one wants to shoot a porn after a big burrito. You have to think about all these things. Of course. And then give them a little time, you know? Yeah. Do you see any like changes in just sex in general

and like what people are doing in the bedroom over the years? I mean, you've watched sex evolve over the years of being in this industry. I think women are probably listening this episode. They're like, oh, give me like a new mood. I can try. You know what I mean? Are there any things that you feel like women are doing specifically that maybe you didn't see 10 years ago that they're doing a little differently in the bedroom?

Well, I really, really hope that women are getting more concentrated on themselves and less concentrated on their partners. Is it happening? I don't know. But I think in general that people are finding inspiration in porn and that they are. are finding comfort in the sense of not feeling so different and not feeling that their kinks are perverse or bad or or very naughty or very strange because when you see other people enjoying the kind of sex that you are into yourself,

that normalizes it and makes it, you know, makes it easier for you to accept yourself and your own sexuality. So I think that porn can be really, really, you know, wonderful and great for you if you use it in that sense. But this is like anything. I mean, you have to use it, I guess, in kind of a mindful way to really enjoy it and to make it work for you. If you use porn as a fast food product, as, you know, a bag of chips, just kind of

getting it in there. and not really, you know, taking your time, then maybe it's not the best thing for you, you know, if you feel like throwing up afterwards, then you probably didn't, you know, watch the right thing or, you know. I would, I mean, my advice to people out there is really, you know, give it a value. Porn, you know, give it, give it a value, be responsible. You know, when you, when you want to watch porn,

that's okay, that's great, but please, you know, be a responsible consumer. I wanted to ask you this. Obviously, your site, ex-confessions.com, right? People, this is a question I just wanted to ask, or I wanted to answer that people have asked us, where do I go for porn? I don't want to watch Red Tube or what I don't even know the words. You, Pornhub, Pornham. I want it to be more ethical. I want the actors to be treated fairly and I want them to support women. Obviously, your site, we can't recommend enough. but otherwise, yeah, are there things to look for on a site? Do you have others that you direct people to?

You know, I think this is just the question. Where do I go as a woman? Well, I mean, I would, my advice is really check, you know, the pages where you go check the information, check if there's an about page. Can you learn something about that company? Is it actually run by people or just by computers and algorithms and a post box somewhere in Las Vegas,

or can you actually see a picture of a person with a name or read an interview, or listening to an interview, or what's the making-offs? I mean, all of that information can really tell you a lot about who's behind the company that you are or the page that you are looking at. I mean, I have ex-confessions.

I also have a cinema called LastCinema.com where we license, you know, movies from other directors, and other production companies, indie porn, things that are, you know, ethical and well done. We are relaunching that cinema now and we're actually starting to produce originals. So there will be also feature films coming up. I just made one and I'm really, really, really happy with it. It's coming out just in a few weeks actually. So that's exciting.

There's also a site called eroticfilms.com where you can find different kind of content. I have a store online, the store by Eric Alas, where you can find also content by many different producers, directors, and you can just download a film by one film. You don't have to become a member of the whole thing if you don't want to. But also, I mean, people sometimes are saying, hey, but you know, I watch these tube sites and everything is for free. And I kind of want to remind those people that it's not for free. It's just what you think. You know, actually most of that content, it's stolen content.

You know, they took that content from content producers and they put it up there. So, you know, please be aware of that, you know. People are talking so much about ethical porn sometimes and how to be ethical. I mean, it's lots of the responsibilities also with the consumers. Right. It's not free. It's at the expense of someone. one. Yes. Like it might be free for you. You know, have nothing's for free like that. So

somebody's paying the price. Exactly. Well, just like you said about shopping in the grocery store. And if we're going to think about, you know, cage-free eggs and the way the cattle is raised, then shouldn't we be thinking about how women are treated in these industries? If you're going to think about cows, then you should think about women. And again, if something was stolen or, you know, if it's allowed to even be on that site, you know, I don't want to, you know, the music industry has changed drastically. You know, we pay for Spotify and we do these things. We're not out here stealing songs on Napster and getting computer viruses like we used to when we were. No, and then, I mean, subscription sites, et cetera. In the end, you can always get a

good offer. You know, there's good offers out there. We have an offer for you guys. Oh, yeah. Do you know the offer off the top of your head? If you don't, we're still going to put it in our Instagram story so people can find it. Well, I think it was a week of watching for free actually, which is not a bad deal at all. Imagine what. Not a masturbation. of films for a whole week for free. You can decide if you like them or not. If you like them, please become a member. Here it is.

One right free trial to X Confessions. We'll have the link for you guys. Yeah. And put it in the episode description. And I would like to say that if you like the films, please become a member because, you know, in the end, a girl's got to eat. Well, that is a perfect place to end this.

Guys, we are going to wrap up with Erica. She's got to run. stick around. We are going to do a game at the end, just the two of us. Of course, we would never let you down. All right. Everybody can find you at your website. Also, do you want them to find you on Instagram? You can. Erica Lust, and that's Erica with a K. Yes, verified. I checked you out this morning. Erica Lust, Xconfessions.com. And then we have that one week trial for you guys. You can see it on our Instagram. We'll have it in the episode description as well. Check it out. Check out. Check out the app too. All right. Well, thank you so much for being here.

Thank you so much. This is really amazing. All right. It's being great. Now go and enjoy all the films. Oh, we went. We can't wait to get out of here. All right, we're back. It's just the two of us. It's game time.

It's game time. Let's go. Speaking of game time, this next one. We picked all sex stuff for you guys. We're doing Is This Weird? You guys have been submitting some really crazy, awesome ones. So please keep sending them to us.

And if you're coming to live shows, please let us know. If you have, This is Weird, Psycho or Power moves, just send them with a city name and the subject line. Keep sending those. Today we're doing, Is This Weird? We're doing Is This Weird. The OG game. But yeah, I love that you said that, like, even if you just have a crazy story or something really funny and you feel like it doesn't even fall into any of our categories, which it probably will, but still send it if you're coming to the live show. Because we are doing stuff with these live shows, and it's incredible. It's been one of my favorite things we started doing. We didn't for a little while. And now, like, it's just so great to have you guys in the audience.

And they cannot be so long. We just cannot read a huge page long email. We, you know, just so you guys are clear if you, they just got to be readable. Yeah. Shorten two paragraphs. Yeah. Or one. You know, the short of the better. Okay. is this weird number one love it so much she we miss this in Detroit I'm bummed but anyway she says love the show seeing y'all in Detroit this weekend so this one slipped by us but now we're reading on the episode my current boyfriend of three months

does this thing during sex and I think he means well question mark but my friends have agreed that this would make their vagina dry up like the Sahara during sex so my boyfriend is really into my own pleasure and puts in work during sex things will be getting really hot and heavy and I'll inform him that I'm going to come. And then he will start chanting things.

Red in the voice of a Clemson coach on the sidelines. Go Tigers. I like that she gave me that shout out along the lines of, come on, you can do it. You can do it, babe. I know you can do it. And the like, I cannot. Run the damn ball.

Like, you picture guys just yelling run the damn ball. Okay, straight up cheering me on like I'm his favorite quarterback. I've told him that it turns me right off. And he doesn't do it as often now that have expressed my disdain for it, but he still does it almost involuntarily sometimes. So I got to ask what if a guy does this to you? Is it weird? I can't. You can do it. I'm dead. This guy is such a sports fan. I love it. It's all football. He's like, be my wide receiver, baby. It is so great. I just, I don't know, it makes me laugh. I wouldn't want it all the time. I just think it'd be funny if it was a joke,

but he's not joking. And like, you're like, I'm about to come. And he's like, you can do it. It's like, shut the fuck up. my God. That guy was fucking in the summer. He used to say that to me too. He would say, come, Rana. I don't need any encouragement. I'll come. Rana, he did? I'm dying. The guy I'm thinking of. No. Come on, Raina. I'm not okay. I am so uncomfortable. That was his dirty talk. I cannot. I feel like so cringy about this that I'd be fucking somebody and I say I'm about to come and they're like, come on, Ashley, you can do it.

What? It wasn't even like I would say I'm gonna come or I'll get off like I don't need this like weird encouragement. I like to say I'm gonna come. Okay, you know what? I think this is weird, but now that I put myself in the position, I did not love it in the moment. It did not seem funny and silly to me in the moment. Run the damn ball. Okay. Okay. This one, this is actually a little more common than you would think because we've gotten several emails about this. Okay. match with this guy on hinge a month ago we've gone out a few times now he's 23 I'm 23 he's 26 last night it's about the night at his place for the first

time and we hooked up multiple times after we finished he would stand up take off his condom and hop in the shower this man took three showers last night straight out of sex in the city where Miranda dates the Catholic guy I don't know if this is a religious thing or if he's trying to wash off latex residue or what but either way I found the behavior

very strange am I overreacting or is this weird P.S. each time I checked down to make sure I wasn't bleeding or anything. Funky was happening. I was fine. Thank you. Love the podcast.

It's not for me. There's something weird there. It's, you think sex is dirty. I mean, I'm pretty sure. I'm not an, sex expert,

but I'm almost positive. It is like the sex and the city thing. That's, you think sex is dirty and you're trying to wash away your sins. I'm not here for it. It just would make me be like, do you think I'd smell bad?

It's not that. You don't want me on you. Like a hygiene thing. Like, I'm sure she's, I mean, it's 2019. I'm sure she's pretty hygienic. I just don't think that's it.

I think it's psychological. Yeah. Maybe somebody told him sex is bad and dirty. Yes. It's like a, I mean, I'm not trying to make Catholic jokes because I'm not allowed to make up at the wedding this weekend. I've been told I can't make jokes about Canada. You're like, someone's got to let me do it. But there's some.

But that's, again, nothing against Catholics. Tons of friends are Catholics. But I think that is the religion thing where like sex is dirty, wash away your sins kind of stuff. I guess it could be other religions too. But I think that's it. I would find out what his religious background is. The thing that would be a bummer for me is like my favorite thing after sex is like that laying around together. Yeah.

The combo you have and you're all like sweaty and maybe you fuck again. Yeah. And like I'd be so bummed if somebody just like got up and left. I know. And I've definitely slept with guys that sweated a lot like to the point of you just don't want to lay in your own sweat. Like I've definitely dated guys that like sweat a lot. So one shower, but a guy's getting up every time you fuck, three showers in a night. I'd be like, what's going on here?

What's going on here? You would absolutely be like, what's going on? I'm sorry, what the fuck are you doing? No. And why am I not invited either? Yeah, that's a good call. It's like he's got to go in there and cry or something. I don't like it.

I don't like it either, and it would be just bum me out. I mean, people are talking like, you're too judgy. I would have to find out the root of it because I just, I don't want someone that also feels that sex is dirty and they need to wash it off their, you know, body. I'm not judging them. I just, I like the post-coital. like hang around, maybe you fuck me again. I like that. I would try to get in there.

Like, I'd follow in. You'd be like, oh, you're making the shower dirty now. Get out of here. I know. And then you're, that's the litmus test to see what's really going on. Okay. This one made me just like, I love this one so much. I had to read it a few times to make sure I was reading it correctly.

I can't, I can't get over it. Okay. Is this weird? One time I was video sexting a guy from Hinge had not met him yet. Not on Hinge. You can't do that on Hinge. So they went to text. obviously. Okay. So she met him and hinge, video sexting. What do you think that means? Like,

just sending each other sexy videos? She probably means just like FaceTiming. Okay. And in the middle of it, he goes, wait, are you in birth control? As if we are actually about to have sex. I literally said, you know, we're not actually fucking right? And he goes, yeah, but still. This is funny because in our sexing episode last week, we talked about like mimicking what you're actually doing during sex. He took it another too far. Yes, absolutely. Some people have pregnancy fetishes. Like, I had a boyfriend that would like, when he would fuck me, even though I was

like fully on birth control, he would like talk about how much he wanted to like get me pregnant. Yeah, which is crazy that he was white. Because I'm probably going to take this out. I don't know. It's a, whatever, it's the truth. Guys that I fuck that are African American tend to steer more into the, I want to put a baby in your direction.

Well, he's he steered in the eye I want to put a baby in your direction like a lot of the time and like how sexy would be if I was pregnant he had like weird pregnancy fetishes. Yeah. So maybe this guy is just like I hope she says she's not

She's not knock her up. I think you're right. Man, I wish she could have said no and see what that did. Killed his boner? No. Oh, if she said I'm not on birth control and he would have got all hot and heavy.

She's like blue is low and so hard. I'm going to get you so pregnant. I love people's fantasies. Okay, this one made me laugh and cringe at the same time. She's also very funny. Okay. So I was living in Chile for a year and I started seeing this Chilean guy pretty regularly. He had a decent career at a large accounting firm, but he still lives as his family.

It's normal for people in South America to not move out until they get married. We ended up going back to his place one time, and this is where it gets questionable. We had gone out the night before, woke up in the morning and started fucking again. All of a sudden, there's a knock on the door and he stops mid-thrust and tells me to pretend I'm asleep. He then proceeds to cover everything but my face up and tells his sister she can come in. She writes all caps. Literally while he's still inside him,

the tray never leaves the tunnel, literally just push to pause button. She comes in and gets pet food. Why the fuck that she need to get the damn food in his fridge and leaves like nothing ever happened? He's super chill about it and as soon as she leaves goes right back to fucking like nothing happened. And like that's just totally normal.

Excuse me. Meanwhile, I'm freaking out. Why do you not take his dick out or tell his sister she can't come in, am I being dramatic and missing some cultural shit here, or is this weird? I'm pretty sure it's not a cultural thing to keep fucking anywhere, whether your sister's in the room or not. I like how, like, PC, she's trying to be like, she's like, maybe in their culture, no. Okay, but that being said, there probably is some of it that that felt less weird culturally. There's definitely different attitudes towards sex and other places besides living with your family.

Like, it's just kind of like, if you, I know, we know that. that I mean, South America in other cultures, like, you live with your family longer. So it's probably like, yeah, sometimes, you know, the sister's going to walk in. And I just, we just got to put paws in the fucking. Like, it's probably just not a big deal to him. He's like, well, I live with her. So she's going to walk in from time to time because the pet needs fed. I just, I hate it.

I wouldn't like it. Even like if somebody stopped fucking me, like, if we were just naked, his hard dick was next to me, I'd be uncomfortable. If he was inside of me, it would like make my body crawl so bad. The only thing that's ever having me close is I was having phone sex with a die. And it was actually the first time I ever had phone sex. Like, it was the very first time I had phone sex. And his roommate came in. And, like, he had to pause and, like, talked to his roommate about the plans for the night. And you're like, I'm close. And I was like so, yeah, it was awkward.

It was hard to get back into it. It is like, it was just hard to, it would be, I couldn't get back into it after that. I'd be like, well, that's the end of this. Fuck. Well, if you just kept fucking me like nothing had ever happened also, I'd be like really confused. Also, like, did he get more turned on? Like, did that turn him on more? Not that he's like into his sister, but the whole situation. Yes. Yes. You know my ex would have loved that. What? He's where the sister. Oh, that's right. Your ex is weird. The only time I heard him scream at me is when I brought up his sister one time and he flipped out.

Okay. During sex? Okay. No right. All right. Well, is this weird? I don't know. Did we even say? Oh, yeah. Let's answer the question. Yeah, I mean, it would make me uncomfortable that he just went right back to sex without acknowledging it. That would be the weirdest part for me. Yeah. I think it's so funny. I also just personally probably am not fucking somebody in their family house when the family's home. I've done it. I mean, yeah. I think I hate it. I think I'm doing it more if we're in a relationship,

but this was the, I don't know. Sounds like the first time she stayed ever his place. Started seeing this guy pretty regularly. Okay. Yeah. I just I mean, yeah, I'm not like, oh my God, I can't fuck your parents are downstairs, but I don't know. Depends on how close the quarters are. A big house, fine. but I mean when it's so cool, I just, it's weirds me out. I don't know. If my family heard one of like bang of the bed against the wall, I would just, I would die. I could never like look my dad in the eye again.

It's never happened to me with either of my parents or my brother and his wife. I have never been an indication that any of those people have sex. I know. And I think it's always louder than you think. Absolutely. Like I remember I was, we were staying with friends one time. This is what the guy was dating and we were like staying at the speech house with all these people in Charleston. Come to our Charleston show, by the way.

And I remember, I just remember thinking it was so quiet and like it wasn't. Like they heard the bed, you know. Like we got home that night drunk again and I was like, we ought to fuck on the floor because they definitely can hear this like squeaky. You got to do it on the floor. Yeah. Absolutely. During her, so my parents had a house in New Jersey during Hurricane Sandy.

And like my boyfriend and I had gone there because it was supposed to be like worse in parts of New York City for Hurricane Sandy. And we like, there's nothing to do the powers out. All we could do is fuck was fucked. We fucked on the floor. Yeah, fuck on the floor. Honestly, I don't want to hear one bang of the bed. It would make me die.

Anyways, guys, fuck on the floor. Make a porn about it. Making it much of porn. Live your truth. Cool circle. Yeah. Okay. Well, I got to go.

I have a show. I got to go. Where are you going to go? Where are you going to go? Where are you going to go? Your aunt and uncle. You met them. They're amazing.

She's 10 years older than him. Yep, my favorite couple. They're hot. He says, where are you going? He gets mad that you took, that you changed it. Yeah. He says where you go. I like where you're going to go.

I like where you're going to go. I like where you're going to go. All right, guys. Well, happy international podcast day. Subscribe rate review. Listen to us on Spotify or iTunes or wherever. Try something new and leave us a review. And girls got eatpodcast.com for merch and shows, stupid live shows.com.

Also for shows. We still have some tickets left in some of these awesome cities. Follow us on Instagram, Twitter. Anything else? No, I think you covered it. Thanks for taking us out. And guys, we can't wait to see you in October. these new cities.

All right. Bye, guys.