Girls Gotta Eat - When Your Friends Are In Different Life Stages

Episode Date: February 12, 2024

It's our 6-year anniversary episode (!!!) and another friendship topic our listeners asked for – when friends are in different life stages. We discuss how/why/when this happens and how to handle it, the self-talk, how friendships change (and sometimes for the better), and making new friends and/or strengthening other relationships. We also discuss the touchy subject of feeling like you've outgrown a friend, plus we share how our friendship has changed since a boyfriend entered the mix. Before we get into our topic, we talk about our studio flooding and why it's been so emotional, then catch up on Miami (Rayna's balcony fiasco and bathroom door-gate), Ashley puking at Drake and solving shower sex, and the cocktail we're bringing back. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Skims: Get free shipping on orders over $75 at skims.com. Babbel: Get 50% off your subscription at babbel.com/gge. Helix: Get 20% off all mattress orders + two free pillows at helixsleep.com/gge with code HELIXPARTNER20. Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at nutrafol.com with code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your 20s and your 30s are like all over the place. People are getting married and settling down and buying homes and having kids in their 20s. Some people aren't even considering that until their 30s. There is no consistency. Girl's got to eat. Oh, you saw so sad. Oh, we're just going to start strong with tears flowing. It's our six-year anniversary episode.

We can't record it at home. I feel so sad. We are really, we're blessed. Spotify has given us a studios. And please listen to this episode on Spotify. They saved us from our natural disaster of our studio flooding. And we'll talk about it. But I'm just trying to like hold it together.

I feel like very weirdly emotional where I'm trying to also like figure out if something else going on. Because like I just like really upset about our couch. It's really hitting me hard. But it's what can you do? Spotify last second swept in. And they were like anything you need, studio space, whatever. been so great. I have never made direct eye contact with you. We're recording.

We're like a sitting across. This is like a first date. Like, why are we at? I hate this. Don't look at me. We're like an awkward dinner. Tazac, can you get me sunglasses? Yeah. I'm actually just going to sit on the floor. You can just look at the wall. Yeah. I'll just look over here and make it really

awkward. And we got these balloons. For our six year anniversary. Which was actually spark-alized idea. Because I was like, we're not going to be in the studio. We're sad about it. He was like, you could get balloons and make it special and then we're at this recording studio with these fucking balloons. You guys know what? It looks like it's like a radio studio. Yeah. There are other studios here that we'll have in the future as we dry out the studio space.

Happy six year to WWJD. KR. All the hits. B100. The 90s, 2000s and today. Oh my gosh. Well, let's think so our partners. Our wonderful partners, a lot of these have stuck with us for years. So thanks guys. We'd like to thank Skims for supporting our show. Skim says over 100,000 five-star reviews. For a reason, skims bras are now available at skims.com, plus get free shipping on orders over $75. I have my skims bra on and no panties, just like you. Oh, I have nothing on but a bodysuit. I have just nipples for days.

No, yeah. And thanks to Babel for supporting our show. Here's a special limited time deal for you. Right now, get 50% off a one-time payment for a lifetime Babel subscription for our audience at babble.com slash gge. Yes, and big shout out today. He looks sleep. take their two-minute sleep quiz and they'll match you to a mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows.

For our listeners, go to helix sleep.com slash GGEE and use code Helix Partner 20. And we'd like to thank Nutraful for supporting girls got to eat. Nutraful is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement clinically shown to improve visible thickness and strength. Go to Nutraful.com slash quiz to take the quiz and use code GGE to get $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping. So California is under a state of emergency. Well, it's sunny today.

For the first day. Yeah. What even is that? Did you know that I read this statistic? We've gotten eight inches of rain in the last like five days. And then California yearly average is 14 inches. Oh, yearly average. No, it's unprecedented.

It is biblical. It is really like what is happening. Noah's Ark shit. I mean, it's wild. I wasn't even been. I wasn't here for most of it. I got home at the tail end. Yeah. And you were just in the thick of it.

I mean, the way I was being psychotic with my landlord yesterday about getting like disaster relief services in my home to like drain it. But then I was like, oh my God, Rana, everybody in California needs this. Like, calm down. Yeah. So, yeah, our studio display is completely flooded from the ground and the ceiling. No, it just was coming from everywhere. Coming from all angles. You know it's bad when it's coming up from the floor.

The floor. Where you don't even know where it's coming from. I couldn't identify the. So I was in there and like it was dry near the door. and the window and the actual, it's a garage space sort of. It's like a cita essentially, but all the inflection points of water normally was sealed off. So I was like, there's just a crack in the foundation. It's just coming up.

Yeah. So the craziest thing happened. Like Friday, I was running to the airport to go to Miami to meet you where we also got rained out of our show. The amount of rain-related trauma I'm dealing with. I told you that I can't. I don't want to take showers anymore. Showering is off the table for you. Like, you already hated it.

I'm like, rain is going to start smelling. And I support it. Thank you. I was starting to Arlen this morning, my brother. And he was like, well, you hate showering? I was like, yeah, I'm never doing it again. I'm against it. So the craziest thing happened, I was on my way to the airport to meet you in Miami. And I'd called the Uber.

And my neighbor, who's no longer my neighbor, he's just my friend. He's been living with me for weeks. It's fine. We're just, listen, I have like a belt and buddy. I kicked him out yesterday. But no one has ranted more about having men in their home than you. And no one has had more men stay with them. Actually, Raina, he was, what's the sixth guy?

Since you moved to that house. Today was the first day in, I'm going to say a month, I woke up in someone that wasn't in my house. It's only men. You even had a female house guest. It's just been like Bill Greenberg, Rob, Francis, Yonatan, who then moved in, Jeremy. Like, the list goes on and on. It literally is like, Raina, I don't want men in my home, Greenberg. And then you're like, you know what?

You should move in. Francis landed. Francis, Harvard educated, Francis landed to do a show in L.A. didn't have a hotel. He's on the group chat with us. We're about to go to lunch. He's like, I guess I'll stay over on this side of town. We're like, you guess.

Raina's like, you can stay with me. I'm like, there she goes again. I gotta tell you the funniest thing happened. So I've gotten multiple gifts sent to my house and I don't know who they're coming from. I got that sex stone. Oh, my God. I meant to tell you, someone sent us both like sex stones.

Well, first I got this box of like forever roses. You know, it's just the tops of those. They're expensive and they smell great. And I was like, who sent these to me? And my first thought was like, Francis. I was like, you just stayed with me. And he was like, I'm married. I didn't send you a box.

A box. It broke this. You back up to that, though. That is so funny that you asked, did you send me flowers? He's like, I have a wife. And I don't, I crashed at your place one night. I didn't send you forever. That is so funny.

He was my first act. Can you imagine his wife sees that text? Raina. Hey, did you send me flowers? She's like, excuse me. Excuse me, babe. Just so we're clear. I thought it was insane too.

But I was like, maybe, because he's so sweet and wonderful. No, he is, yeah. He would do something like that. And then I knew it wasn't Jeremy because he doesn't respect me at all. It's mutual. You don't respect anyone less than him. You wanted to be a guy that was trolling him. You hate each other.

I went on a date with a guy that was trolling him. The way that Jeremy disrespects your home is something to behold. I was taking so many photos for Jackie. I was like, his feet are everywhere. Everywhere I look, his giant ass feet. The comforter on the floor, the way I would cut someone out of my life. The wet towel just stayed in my home and you left and the comforter was on the floor. Like, you hate me.

Just say it. He was like, I got you free sandwiches all week when I was here. That's fair. So no gifts from him. Who else stayed with me? Rob would never send me flowers. But Rob is Domino's. Rob is water bottle.

King. Open, take a sip, leave it. If he sent me a case of Desani just to troll me. Well, he texts me, he goes, Ashley. I do not know. I know what you're going to say, David. He said, Ashley, I did not know Rina drank Aquafina. I can't believe this is coming up.

I said, Rob, I can't talk about it. I thought I got away with it. You know what else, Rob? There's tap water in those aquafina bottles. Aquafina is the same level as Desani, just if anyone cares. It's just like Pepsi versus Coke. Who owns them or whatever. So it's the same.

I like to shit on Desani, but Aquafina is equally as bad. It's not spring water. shitty whatever. And you just, you drink the aquafina for one and then you refill it with LA's disgusting tap water and you put it back of the fridge. The way you hydrate is horrifying. Well, I've gotten really into recycling. So I've been, that's triggered for me. I'm sorry. If you know, you know. I've been like washing out containers. I'm like really, I'm recycling really good. Let's move on. So I got these flowers. I don't know who they're from. And then I got this sex rock and it's like this soap sex rock soap the brand is Kate McLeod right is but then I was like

is that who said it I don't know so and then I was like Ashley like do you think Ryan's trying to get me back because I've been talking to him as much I don't know if Ryan was trying to get you back if Ryan was trying to get you back he would just pull the van up and like I'm here maybe I would love that though make me so happy he was like I thought about it and you are the one you guys think she's joking and this is the way that she thinks about this late at night she's letting you into her fantasy world under the guise of a joke no it's not a joke he knows not a joke Ryan if you're listening I love you we're having fun anyway so Yonatan has been an amazing guest he's been like really honestly so wonderful and clean and like I got home from Miami the other

night I was like beside myself and he like ordered sushi and we watched Harry Potter I was like this is the best day ever and it's completely platonic it's but just to jump in so he moved out from being your neighbor. I forget if we said this. This was kind of unclear the episode where he was running around outside and he was, you know, cowboy hat shirtless, stripping all the things. So he just moved out of the next door. This nice girl moved in. You have a new friend. And then he, but he's been staying with you as he's kind of like nomadic. He's in transition. Be loose with me. So anyways, back to the beginning of the story. So I was going to get into the Uber to go to the airport to go to Miami. And he was like, I put some trash by the front door. And he was like, I'll take it out.

don't worry. And he got a phone call and I was like, I just want to take the trash out. Like, and I took the trash out. I went out back and I noticed that the door to the studio is all glass. I noticed it was fogged up and like sort of like water dripping. I'd never seen that before. And I opened the door and it had flooded. And I was able, thank God, to like tell my lane, I had to like leave that minute. Like Yonatan and I got the recording equipment out of there and I left. He was like, just go to the airport. I'll handle it. And I was able to call my landlord and get somebody in there. And at least they like took the carpets out and like move some stuff. And like, I think I'll the time, you know, about like, if then, like, if Yonatan hadn't gotten that phone call,

totally. Right then, I wouldn't have taken the trash out. He would never have noticed that the studio door was fogged. And then the stuff would have sat in that room for four days, door shut. Like, yeah, like, we had this big power block on the floor. Yeah. Like, that would have been shot. Yes.

You know, who knows what would have gone up in flames. Everything. I mean, all the lights are sitting right in the center of the room, like, everything. And I just keep thinking about these moments in our lives, these, like, tiny little things that happen. I mean, you almost didn't meet your boyfriend. I think about that all the time. If we had just made like one tiny different decision that day, you never would have met him.

I know. I think about it all the time. Yeah, like little things like that. Like for me, like something makes me check something. I realize my keys are in the fucking door. Or like, you know, like I try so hard not to leave my keys in the door, but every once in a while. Like little things where you're like, oh, I could have gotten murdered tonight. Totally.

But something made me go outside and look at this other thing or whatever it is. Yeah. When you meet somebody, you're like, what if I didn't do that thing? This one. Yeah. Just like the missed my cab. Yeah. I took the next one.

So, I mean, thank God he was there and, like, he could help, like, manage that. But, yeah, I got back Monday afternoon and everything was just, like, inches of water in there. It stinks. It's horrible. Tessa was so great. She, like, came over and emptied everything out with me. And it's just, this has been so horrible and such a nightmare. And, like, Tessa and I took everything from the studio last night, brought it into the house in the pouring rain.

Oh, my God. It's just, there's just dirt all over my house. It's disgusting. And we didn't box anything up. So, just shit everywhere. But, like, I told you, like, the small silver lining for me is, like, We can make one call and be at Spotify the next day. And, like, we have a team that helps us, like, file insurance claims and test is so wonderful.

And our friend Rob is so great. He's been on the phone with me constantly, just being like, this is what you do. Like, it's just nice to be, like, I have built this community around me that can help me. And I have a business partner that's going to help me shutter, like, the weight of it. And, like, you just keep being, like, I feel so appreciative and thank you so much. And it's really a job for one person. I don't need you there. But, like, all I want is appreciation.

Like, you've given that to me. And it's a reminder that you, like, have built all these things around you. and it's a nice feeling like going into the six year of the podcast, feeling like I did do this with you. A lot of people aren't that lucky. They can't deal with a flood like this, you know? I wasn't able to get there, like, right away. But I'm like, we just have to, like, block and tackle. Like, I'll make sure we have a studio.

Like, I'm going to handle the Spotify thing. I'm going to correspond on the emails. You don't worry about, like, checking things when they come in. I'll, like, handle it. Like, we just kind of divide and conquer. And it's nice to have. Yeah. I think about that all the time.

if I was on this like solo mission. Times like this would really bring you down. Break me. Literally. I was so angry the last few days and so stressed out. And then our show got rained out in Miami. And I was like, I cannot take one more thing. Seriously, I know.

I know. I just, it was like, just a lot. Like it was like the hits kept coming, you know? And it's just weather. There's nothing you can do about it. But it really did fuck up our Miami trip too. And. But anyway, just to close the loop, circle back.

Close the loop on the studio. Yeah, we're going to figure out what we're going to do. I mean, I think things like this sometimes can be a blessing in disguise. You know, there were some issues with that studio. It was really hot in the summer. Trying to figure out temperature control was a problem. You know, so there's little things where we would have held on for dear life and this, like, forced us to make a change. We have things happening this year that we're really excited about that it's still too early to share, but where we might be creating more content and making some changes.

and so it might be better for us to just, you know, have a place where we walk in and everything's, like, set up for us. And we had just such a good run. You know, like, we're getting rid of some of that furniture. And I was just like, you can't get rid of that couch. Like, I just feel like so sentimental about it. And like, I don't know. It was just like a really special thing for us to build that studio out in New York and have our own space. And really, like, you would say, like, bet on ourselves and, you know, stop trying to piecemeal things together and just like pay for it, set it up, design.

it, make it our own, and then, like, bring it all the way across the country and set it up again. And I don't know. I feel like so emotional about it. And I'm trying to figure out why. Anyway, I was like, keep the couch. Don't go to the couch right now. I think it's a huge accomplishment. I mean, I hate when people say, like, the podcast has an expiration date.

And I hate when people, like, suggest that to me. And my dad said this thing to me this morning as I was pulling into Spotify. And he was like, you guys really have done it. Like, you've passed the what most people say. expiration date is. You started this before people were really in podcasting. And yes, there was hundreds of thousands of podcasts, but there weren't tens of millions. And my dad was like, you guys have really done it. And it's crazy me when people say that has an expiration date because like we really passed that mark. And I'm like really proud of it, what we've done and built and we can't afford

all these things. And like thank you guys for being here. It's never lost on us. We just have like the smartest, funniest, coolest audience. We say this to you all the time. Like you just, you give so much to us of your lives, your money, your time. and man, thank you. Yeah, thank you guys. And I'm sad about the couch, too. I'm going to save it. It smells, but I'm going to save it.

We'll figure it out. I just wasn't ready. I was like, it's just, it can't go. This is like my, you know, cancer sun, cancer moon coming out. My like sentimental ass bitch. No, it's more sentiment. I am so sentimental. You know, that first wine bottle from the first episode we ever recorded.

Like, I keep, I hold on to shit. It's a good quality. I throw everything out. It's a bad quality. I'm glad that between you and May one of us is like that. He's kind of a little bit more. But this week, Valentine's Week. Six years ago, we did it.

We did it. I'd love that we have this holiday that's like love related, that we started this dating relationship podcast surrounding. So it is Valentine's Week. And thank you to everybody that bought all of our vibes only products to use in and around Valentine's Day solo or with a partner. And we hope you guys have a great Valentine's Day. Galentine's Day, of course, however you celebrate it. If you're in L.A., I have a show at the Hollywood Improv with Andrew Collin. bringing it back, hot and funny, Valentine's Day

edition. We did Valentine's Day last year, but Andrew got COVID and you co-hosted it. I forgot about that. If we did, we did a fucking girl's got to eat show on Valentine's Day. So this is like sort of a tradition, but hopefully Andrew will make it this time and rain, and we'll be there, of course. With Andrew's girlfriend, all of our friends. All of our friends. So

there may or may not be tickets left, but Nikki Glazer is going to be on the lineup and Ali Makowski and this guy, Alec Flynn. So anyway, if there are still tickets available, you can grab those and come hang out with us on Valentine's Day and that'll be really fun. And as we record this, we will have just had the Super Bowl that I don't give two fucks about. But anyway, you would have had a party. I keep looking

around my house. Like, I cannot believe I'm having a party on Sunday. We need to talk about this after, like, I'm actually fine. Like, I feel fine about it. I'm going to like, Tessa's going to come over after we record. We're going to box up the stuff in the living room. I'm going to toss the furniture and then just open the windows up, air it out. And it'll be fine. Like, I keep looking around being like, this is a crazy person would do this. Have a party in a couple days. But I'm like, What do I care? But you know, you're just like, you just keep going. You know, it's like you're the energizer bunny of parties. Like once something in motion stays in motion or something, like you just got to keep it moving. Keep it moving. Yeah. I mean, I just, it's so funny. I was saying to Melanie, I was like,

I'm just told everybody to bring stuff and like, you know, I'm not really going to cook. I'm just told everybody to bring their own stuff basically. Because the Super Bowl is very much like, be creative, bring food over. Right. Everybody's supposed to bring. You're right. This isn't like a catering situation. Everybody brings something. Which is that's all. And she was like, why are you trying to act like, fucking cool girl here. Like, you know you're going to cater it. You know that you're going to make food for like 30 people and then people will bring it. I was like, you're right. I really am. Like I just, I need all the things. I need to make sure it was like buffalo dip and like pigs in a blanket and all the things are there. And I love to throw a party. So I'm excited. I can't wait. So I

don't care about this fucking matchup. I wanted and now it's over. Of course, this is going to be dated, but only by one day. But I wanted Baltimore and Detroit so badly. And then Baltimore lost. I was like, okay, we still got Detroit. I was in Boston. I was watching the game with Sparkleyes. And, you know, Detroit has never been to a Super Bowl. And I love their coach. He played on the team. They have this great story. I'm just like, they're such an underdog type team.

You know, I love Detroit. And I was like, God, what a cool fucking story that Detroit would play against the raining champions, you know, like a true underdog story. Their first Super Bowl. I was, like, so involved. I, when they lost arena, I was laying there in the dark. Sparkle Ice goes, Ashley, it's just sports. And you're like, you don't grow up here. You don't understand it.

You don't understand. I grew up in eight mile. No, like he literally, like he likes sports too. But for him to tell me, like, I was laying there just in the dark, like, almost crying. Like it was the Eagles, like even more. So I like wanted it so bad on such a deep level. Like I just felt for them. I felt for the coach.

I love him so much. And I literally was so upset that like my boyfriend had to tell me like Ashley to just sports. I'm like, who have I turned into? I cut so much into the NFL this year weirdly. Wait, it's so funny. I don't know if I forgot to tell you this or not. So I went on a date with this guy the other night, and he did everything terrible. I hate him.

Like, fuck you forever. That was the worst person I've ever met. It does. I can say his name out. It doesn't matter. He never asked me one question. He doesn't know who I am or what I do. He's no idea, which is the craziest thing.

Like, how do you spend your days? Never came up. Right. But he was from Pittsburgh. And he did a thousand horrible things on this date. I hate him. But we're both from Pittsburgh. I was like, I saw you're from Pittsburgh.

And he's like, yeah. And I was asking where he grew up. And I was like, so you must be like a big Steelers fan because like that's the main personality in Pittsburgh. It's the sports teams. And he was like, no, actually I'm an Eagles fan. And I was like, I hate you. You're a psychopath. How the fuck did you grow up in Pittsburgh and you don't like the Steelers?

Like I was just like. Yeah. And in my head I was like right now just sports. But I was like. Right on sports. Yeah. That is so funny. I was like, this is a metaphor.

I hate you so much. Listen, go Eagles. I'm my other team because they're your team. but like it's weird to grow up in Pittsburgh and not be a Steelers fan. That is to grow up there. Yeah. Anyway, congrats to whoever won. We literally don't care.

Okay, so I am so excited to talk about Helix and I feel so passionately about it because I went on a 11-day trip where I slept in five different places and I don't want to do that anymore. And we've traveled so much, but something about this last trip just broke me. And I was like, I'm done doing this. Like, it's so hard to sleep in all those different places and move around. not feel settled. I can't do it anymore. I'm too old for it. I know. And like the bed is part of it. It's a huge part of it. You never know what you're going to get when you like check in a hotel or

you're staying with somebody. Like I was just like, I can't do this anymore. So to come home after that long of a trip and just fall into my bed, fall asleep right as soon as my head at the pillow, I was just so thankful. And so I just think about my sleep all the time and how much your mattress really matters. So you can just go to helix sleep.com slash gge. Take their two minute sleep quiz and they'll match you to a customized mattress that will give you the best sleep at your life. Use code Helix Partner 20 and you'll get 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows. So cannot stress enough how much we love these mattresses. The Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including the award-winning Lux collection.

I have one of the Lux mattresses, the newly released Helix Elite, and there's a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers, even a mattress made just for kids. Tessa, we just got you the Dusk Lux. We made sure Tessa, she moved recently and like, we got to hook you up or a Helix family. So I can't remember if I've told everybody, but I used to have the moonlight. Now I have the Midnight Lux, and I think Raina has a midnight as well. Sparklelight says the midnight. The moonlight's a little bit softer.

Dusk is a little bit more firm. And you're going to choose whatever you want if you want a soft, firm, or a medium mattress and how you sleep, you'll take the quiz and you'll figure that out. And again, they have these like different levels. There's this most high-end collection, the Helix Elite. But of course, we love the Lux. and the regular helixes are great too. Everything they make, we are obsessed with it.

There are six different mattress models, and they all come with a 15-year manufacturer's warranty and a hundred-night trial. And that's really all I can say. Oh, the pillows too. The pillows, I mean... It changed my life. Pillows matter so much.

I love them so much. Sometimes these hotel pillows, I'm like, what is this? That's why when people stay with me, I'm like, you're not ready. And it's like the nicer, the hotel, like the five-star. It's like those are even the more down, like, flat pillows. I have like three just so I can have my little bit of like my airways not blocked I thought with Helix pillows so much

They're the best they're so perfect They're so elite so you're gonna get those when you guys get your mattress So we are obsessed with Helix Everybody we know has one of these mattresses we have made sure of it So wherever we go we have them And Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders And two free pillows for our listeners Go to Helix sleep.com slash GDE and use code

Helix partner 20 This is their best offer with Helix Better Sleep starts now. And skims, I mentioned I'm wearing their bras. So they've been a partner for a while. I have like every type of underwear that they make and I love it. But I found their bras recently because they let us like pick a bunch of different ones and I'm obsessed and I can't stop buying them. So I have the fits everyone t-shirt bra on right now. It has underwire. And listen, I love underwire. I have big boobs. I've had it my whole life. It's what I prefer. But I also sleep with a bra almost every night, which I know some people think like sounds uncomfortable. But I do find that it is like kept my

boobs really perky my whole life. Like I like it. But it's hard to find an underwomen. wire bra that's comfortable to sleep in. And this is it. I sleep in it. Like, every night. I sleep in this bra every night. Sleep in your underwear? That's crazy. I know. It sounds crazy, but it's so comfortable. And it's just like, the straps are really thin. And it's like the perfect plunge. I can wear this under anything.

Yeah. For boobs my size, it's hard to find bras that aren't like these giant matronly like boulder holders. And I love that the straps on this are really thin. It comes into tall of the colors. There's just like neon yellow. There's red. There's every type of like tan black. just it's beautiful. They have tons of sizes. And that's what I love about skims also is that they have

so many colorways and so many sizes. Like this one I'm looking at right now, it goes up to 46F. Damn. So there's so many, I'm like, you guys have to go this hard. Did you see their newest? The Valentine's collection? No, Usher. Usher? They are never not on top of it. That's crazy. Super Bowl, Usher just he's about to start his tour. That's what I've been saying. I mean, just usher in my feed and his skims. Anyway, that's not one of our talking points, but I just had to call it out. I love their bras so much. The thing I found in the past with push-up bras is, like, the way that they're structured, they kind of cut in, they don't give you that smooth silhouette.

You know what I mean? They make you kind of like lumpy. You feel like you have like a bulge under the straps and stuff. And theirs just don't. Like this, I mean, I'm not wearing a bra today, but I could probably wear a bra under this, like, paper-thin body suit and still feel like I had like a smooth silhouette and pushed-up titty's. They make my tits look so big. So good.

Just so good. You're wearing like a skin tight. I have that same turtle. and I can black and I wear this under it, and it's hard to put something under it. Right. Yeah, like this kind of material, like you need paper thin. Skims. So I'm obsessed.

We love all their underwear. There's so many colors. It's great for gifting. I love the fits everybody plunge bra also. The fits everybody push up, which you mentioned. And there is wireless form t-shirt bras. I mean, they really do everything. They have every size, every color.

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On my phone Because we've been recorded in weeks Can I ask you a question about the couch For me on the couch? Yeah Being honest Okay Oh my God.

Have you ever had sex on that? Raina I knew you were going to ask me that shit I knew you were going to fucking ask me that and I was going to ask you with who? I've never had sex on that couch. Did you? Because if you did, then you lied to me before. I have never had sex on that couch and I am

so upset that no one has ever fucked on this couch. We've had it for four years. I've never even sat on it and made out. Oh, really? Are you making it out with on that couch? You brought your ex up there to the studio? I brought a lot of guys in there. I brought Dallas Business Car guy in there.

I brought my ex-boyfriend in there. Okay. In L.A. Any guy I've ever hooked up with has come through that couch. Come through that couch and not come on it. My ex-fiancee was in there. Oh, my God. Wow, that's a bomb to drop with no context.

Come to the live shows, everybody. Yeah, I mean, I did not. If you guys didn't know, I can't remember if we ever said this. But the old New York studio was in my building. But I didn't really ever have anybody I was freaky-diki with to go up there. And I also don't want to disrespect it. Like I kind of was like, I didn't like, like, like, what if your man came where I sit? Well, I'm always fuck on my side.

What if we look over Zul's like licking something? We're like, oh, my God. I would only fuck on my side. I was. Or you just let somebody come inside you. Come inside me, always. I stayed at a Soho house recently. I will not say which one, but there was this green velvet couch.

And I was on vacation with this guy. And he, like, looked at the couch and he was like, this couch is covered in common. I was like, how do you know? And he was like, look at it. There was like white splooges just. all over this couch. It was disgusting. I noticed that in a hotel recently, like, on the carpet. I'm like, that's come. Like, what else would be? Of course it is. So, yeah, I wanted to ask you. I've never, I've never even made out on that couch. That couch is a virgin. Yeah. I mean,

I bring people in there a lot every time that, like, I bring, every time he comes over, I'm like, you got to see the studio because we have all of our vibes. Only stuff in there, too, but I've never had a reason to do that, unfortunately. You think Bobby Westside is fucked on the couch? Because he slept in there a few times. God damn. Who has slept Jenny, Bobby? Somebody masturbated on that couch. One time Bobby was crashed in the studio, I forget why. Oh, they hadn't moved back to New York yet. And we were like, just staying in the studio.

It was really comfortable to sleep on. I slept on it when I was transitioning and moving to L.A. I slept on for like four nights. It's really comfortable. Yeah. Remember I was sleeping in the studio? Yeah. And I had to go upstairs and get something.

And like Bobby, like, didn't know. And he had stepped out for a minute. And there was like McDonald's rappers. And I was like, oh, my God. What are men? He left out a sandwich. And you sent this text and you're like, hey, did you want to finish that? Or it was a half eating McDonald's breakfast sandwich.

I'm also like since when was Bobby not finished food? This is jacked trainer. Like he needs his protein. Anyway. Okay. So no, we didn't have sex. Nobody had sex on the couch.

Nobody had sex in the couch. The couch is a virgin. Okay. So I did this, like, long trip. I went to Boston first. And I went to first wedding ever with Sparkleyes, which was really so fun. Yeah. The photos are so cute.

It was funny. It was just like, I just love all the people that I met. All this, like, friends, parents, I loved so much. everybody and everything and everything just like fairly like salt to the earth and we just like dance and had such a good time but there was the grandmother of like one of his best girlfriends who was essentially the one that kind of orchestrated our whole meeting and you know it's a whole long story but it was her grandmother who's like in her 90s she's like a boyfriend in his 90s you know they're so cute met her immediately she's you know shorter than you she's so small how short am i

about to be and immediately upon meeting her she's so sweet i mean i'm kneeling down i wore a heel I mean, she's got to be less than five feet tall. I'm towering over here, like six, two, and a heel. You know, she grabbed my ring finger right away. And she was just like, what's going on here? You know, like, just made it, like, I love a grandma. They don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck.

Like, I haven't had a grandma in a minute. And a grandma that just is like, when you get married, like, doesn't know how long you've been dating. They know no context. They grab your own finger and just make it. They're not on TikTok. You told this is inappropriate. They make it weird. I loved it.

It was so funny. And she was just. drinking a Cosmo, which I have been thinking about revisiting Cosmos. Like, I've just, like, remember how much I love them and why do we stop drinking them? And I just, I feel like, it was like this fatigue from Cosmos, from Sex and the City and everything. We just stopped drinking them, but they were so amazing. And so I saw Grandma with a Cosmo and I was like, I want a Cosmo. And this place had a heavy pour. I had two Cosmos. I was like lit up. Yeah. And so now, like, I'm back in it. Cosmos. They're so, they're a perfect drink. They're not too sweet. Like, a

good one that has, you know, like a good vodka in it and has a nice twist to it and you get that little crayon. Maybe if you won't get a UTI later, you know, it's preventative. I do get UTIs. I'd be getting them. So I'm bringing them back. Like over the summer, I saw Laura out. This is so funny. I was picking up restaurant food to go. She was in there having dinner with her husband and like another couple. And she's this beautiful cosmos. I was like, let me get a sip of that. And I was just like, I think it. It was light pink. I mean, I like when they have a light pink. I think they should. They've crayon in them. Like, but you want to see the pink? Okay. So like on the light. Not too dark. on like a, okay, so you know when you get like a mamosa?

A mamosa, you're like, I want you to do a medicine dropper with the orange juice, you know. Frosty pink. Okay. Light pink. Light pink. That pink. Me too. If you go past the threshold of pale pink, I'm upset.

I don't want it. So I'm back in my Cosmo era. Okay. Say bye-bye to UTIs. Me and Grandma. So the wedding was really fun. A couple other things I wrote down, we really figured out the shower sacks on our end. Oh, God.

And you really. I'm so blessed. And here's what, here's the hack. You really need something to grab onto. Yeah, Ashley, you think? Well, Rain and not everybody has the fear of slipping I have. You know, I have a fear of slipping. And so the things about Ashley, she can't open water bottles.

She can't count change. She can't get money, actually. And she's terrified of slipping. She can't go to Portugal. I have a, if Portugal, those streets are too slippery. I were gladiator standing. No, I felt like I was going to die. Like, you know when you were a kid, it was like, no running by the pool.

I'm like, who would run by the pool? Like, I have such a fear of slipping. So shower sex always gets, like, Sparkleys and I have hooked up in the shower. We were in the Admirals Club and we've, like, done other stuff. But we haven't had, like, a full-blown start to finish. Sex, penetrated. While you were in the Admiral's Club with us, we had sex while you were eating suit away, eating soup alone. Our heights are not great, you know, like, someone's got to kneeled down.

Like, you know, we're both so tall. So we figured it out. Actually, be honest. Was it a handicapped shower? It was not a handicapped shower, but it did. Well, maybe, actually. Ashley is always in a handicapped shower. There was a point where they kept giving me handicapped rooms and I was like, is there something I don't know?

I feel like you checked something on your hotels.com. So anyway, it was like a thing to hold, like I held on. Okay. And I was like, this is fun. Like I bent over and I held off. When you were living in New York, you know how they heat the apartments in New York? There's just those poles that get so hot. If you touch them, you should go to the emergency room.

Yeah. Like you could hold those in the summertime. time. Did you ever do that? The poles that were like at the side of the window. What do you say? If you want to fuck in your home, would something to hold on to? That is hysterical. So I had one of those next to my bed and my Brooklyn apartment. And if I was like getting

doggy, like I could hold onto that pole but only in the summer months. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You would die. But anyways, yes, I have poles or great. Yeah. Home alone style. Yeah. So yeah, it just like we figured it out. We've been on this journey. We're always doing some stuff in the shower and we finally figured out how to like really

and how my like phobia wouldn't come in. I'm so happy for you and sparkly. Okay, so went to Boston, did this wedding, had a really great time, saw some Boston girlies, which, you know, I love our Boston listeners so much. They're just like so elite. And then I went to Delaware and met my new nephew for the first time. Aw. I rank them.

Hard love. Yes. Power ranking of my two nephews, just first and last. We love a hard launch in the Heseltide family. They don't even announce that they're pregnant. Yeah, I love their style. So he was born, Aaron. He was born in December right before Christmas, but I was sick and I just didn't ever meet

him. And it was chaotic down there. And then none of us really felt comfortable with me being around him when I was sick. So I didn't get to meet him then. So I was like really excited to meet him. And it was just, it was so special. I mean, they're making it work. But it is a lot.

Two kids and like, yeah. 15 months? Yeah. They're close together. But my mom's down there. and helping out and, you know, Steph's just so wonderful and Matt's so great too and they're really like co-parent. But I feel like it's made Matt so close with Jay because he's just in charge of Jay. You know, Stephanie really is to just be with Darren all the time. And so it's just, it's so cute.

You know, we took him to get his first little haircut. And I just feel like they are bonding even more than you ever could imagine because, you know, like one night me and Matt and Jay went out to dinner. It was just like very cute. I know. It's so cute. And I'm so jealous. My brother did tell me they were going to start trying to have a kid. Really? Yeah. The text message he sent was so weird. He was just like we started trying to have a baby on Tuesday and I was that is so funny does she have like an IUD thanks for letting me know you're coming in her I just I don't need to know about this yeah she had an IUD so I guess that's what it meant so you've removed an IUD and I'm shooting loads inside of her shoot loads yeah I love that well they live in London and you know my like greatest dream is that

they have like little British babies that have British accents it's my dream oh wait little babies have different accents than their parents it's adorable are they will they I think so because okay Ladies of London. I watched a show in Bravo and, like, one of the ladies was from America and her husband was British and the babies were all British sounding. They're like, Mommy. Yeah, but one parent. They're, neither of them.

Well, I'm going to tell them to just expose their kid more. I'm going to be so mad if they're fucking kid to have a British accent. You need to bring in a nanny and don't talk to the kids. Just let the nanny communicate. Oh, God damn me about this. But I do not speak to your children. Maybe they can start an accent. Okay.

And I'll just keep. moving through it and then I really want to get to the stuff that happened in Miami. But Sparkleyes and I went to Tampa to see Drake and J. Cole and I got like a stomach bug and I puked the entire day in Tampa from like right when we got to the hotel to I puked to Drake. I had to run up. When I got to our seats, I clocked where the bathroom was in case I had to run up. And sure enough, I thought I was done puking, but I was not. And I had to run up those steps and into the bathroom.

And like I was just like, it was bad. I mean, it was just like the force of which I was like throwing up was, I don't know. Maybe it was food poison. Maybe it was this like 24 hour bug. I feel like people are getting. But whatever it was, it was not great. And I mean, like, thank God it was mid show. If that would be like before the show, right now would be like so mortified. Everybody to hear that. Like there was one other girl in the bathroom next to me. So sweet. She was like, are you okay, girl? And you know, of course everything's I'm just like wasted. Everybody thinks that, of course. So I woke up the next day. I felt like weak, but not nauseous anymore. But it was something else. And he was like,

so great and took such good care of me, but that is like a relationship lined across where like, where you're in a hotel so he can like hear it. Also, it's just like, we'll do a long distance relationship episode, but like I feel like when you don't see each other that much, the stakes are so high to like not have your period that weekend and to not be sick that weekend and for everything to go really well. And it's like, you put all this like, the stakes are just so high to have this like perfect time together. Yeah. And it's so disappointing when you're like, I wanted to have more sex and I wanted have fun. I want to be in a good mood for you. I want to have fun with you. Like, you didn't see him for

like three and a half weeks. It was like this longest you guys have ever been apart. Yeah. Before Boston, we hadn't seen each other. It was the longest we've been apart. But yeah, it sucked. I mean, like, he got the tickets. And so I booked us at the addition, this five-star hotel, like obviously we didn't have sex, you know, like the most beautiful day of the whole trip in Florida was that day. We're in the hotel room all day. Obviously, I told him he could go out and do whatever he wanted, but he wanted to like take care of me and like just had to lay all day and try to get like enough strength to go to this fucking concert that he spent all this money on tickets. and I didn't want to miss it, you know, and it was, like, incredible.

I almost want to go again when I'm, like, feeling up to it. But, like, Drake was incredible. Jay Cole was incredible. I was, like, I fucking love this. Like, I would put it on par with all my favorite concerts. So, yeah, I pulled it together. And I was like, please don't puke at Drake. Please don't puke of Drake.

The way I had to run up, like, you know, the woman at the top with the tickets was like, mm-hmm, probably that this drunk slut has to go puke, come back, like, wipe in my mouth. You know, it was just, it was not my finest moment, but it was like, you know, for the day and then got up and we came to Miami and we had a nice little weekend in Miami with, you know, of course, some hiccups. Yeah. So our show got canceled. We flew down to do the infatuation ETHCon, which we've done in Chicago, and they have festivals in New York and L.A. And we just know so many people traveled for it. And there was just like a hurricane morning that morning, right?

Or tornado warning. The rain was like torrential and it flooded the grounds. It's an outdoor festival. And so there's just nothing we could do about it. They are going to reschedule and we're going to try to be there, of course. But I was laying in bed on Sunday morning and Ashley, other Ashley who works for us, I saw her name pop up and I was like, oh, God, what? And she's like, why don't you usually get up before Ashley?

And I was like, no, she's up, what's up? Yeah. And she was like they canceled the festival. And I just, oh, man, you and I've never canceled a show. We never missed a show. We've never canceled a show. I would say our record is intact because we didn't cancel this. The festival canceled.

Oh, totally. Hundreds of shows. We've never canceled. Yeah. I haven't missed a flight. Nothing. It was such a bummer. I don't know what else to say about it.

It was like devastating. And then of course our show was supposed to start at 430 by 430. It was perfect sun, which I knew what happened. That happened so much in Miami. It's just like a quick, but like they couldn't set up the festival. So then they had to like make that call. Like, of course they made the right call. But I was like, we're all frustrated that now it's showtime and look at this fucking sun.

So, but you had an experience. Okay. I'd woken up. I went out of the balcony and a towel. I was naked. I'm standing out there. We're trying to figure out what to do. And the festival's scrambling.

And they're like, what if we got you an indoor venue? could you guys maybe do that? And we're just trying to make all these decisions. And I'm like, all right, let me just go inside and grab my computer. I went to open the balcony. And I realized that the arm that stops the door from opening when you're inside had fallen and had locked me out on the balcony. And I was like, oh, my fucking God. So I got up with him with you. I call for my task. I'm like, I'm so sorry. It's so embarrassing. Can you like send somebody up to let me in? They're like, sure, no problem. So you and I continue to talk. And like, I see that it's about to start raining like really bad. This guy's black. And I'm like, I hear somebody try to get into the

room and I just I hear that sound of like the latch and it's just like they're slamming into the door and I'm like clearly the latch is on so I was locked out on the balcony and inside of the room I had latched the lock and I was like what the fuck am I going to do it looks so bad outside I have like two seconds to deal with this the hotel's calling me and I was like oh my god what am I going to do and then I look up and you are standing outside on your balcony looking at me with sparkle eyes so like we were on the phone and I'm like, wait, what floor are you on? Like, I was on eight, you were on like seven or six, six or whatever. And I was like, in my head, I'm like, if we can see her, I'm going to lose my mind. That was the hardest I've ever laughed, right? Like, when we spotted you

in your towel, and I didn't know you were in a towel, you hadn't told me. And I was like, of course she's naked. Thank God you had a towel. And so I laughed so hard. I like, you start filming me. And I was like, can you get help? Can anybody go get help? Listen, like, if there's anything I could have done. I would have done it. But of course I'm going to film you. You would have do the same fucking thing. You had smartly started miming sex on the balcony. I was like, can somebody go get help, please? Meanwhile, like, the clouds are rolling in. I just, like, the way my, like, stomach sank for you when you told me, like, that the door was latched. I'm like, oh, my God, she lives out there now. I thought that they were going to have to break it down.

And then this guy just, like, reached in with, like, a hook and unlatched it. And I was like, oh, of course, they had this tool. And then it reminded me, that you're never safe. You think that you're safe and I was like, oh, I'm like, of course that hotel is a tool to do that. People probably latch themselves in those rooms all the time and refuse to come out. Oh, right. So of course they have a way to get in without what would that be about. Not that hotel. I'm like, I'm ready to go because bathrooms are dog shit.

Okay, Raina, let's talk about this. Thank you. It's a watershed moment for me. I need to apologize. She needs to apologize to me. So this is a hotel that we stay in all the time. It's called the Stanton. It's in Miami Beach.

It's South the Fifth, our favorite neighborhood. And you have stayed there with multiple guys. You had your ex. You had your other ex. I've never... Every relationship I've ever brought there is ended. Oh, no. It's a cursed hotel?

Yeah, I think it is like cursed. Anyway, great plug for the Stanton. Go to the Stanton and your relationship. That's so funny. They start hosting divorce parties instead of weddings. They're like, we'd love to host your divorce reception here at the Stanton. So I never stay there with a partner. I was always alone and you were like with somebody I was fucking like right down

the hall, whatever. So you would talk about the bathroom door, and the bathroom door is a sliding door, which we hate, you know, but I love it because the guy can't throw a towel on it. So they have to use the hooks. So they have that sliding door, but you would talk about this two inch gap.

And I just thought you meant that your door didn't slide shut all the way. I was like, what is she talking about? Because we were talking about in context of pooping, you know, pooping with your partner and you were like, but there's this two inch gap of what I was like, what is she talking about? Just shut the door all the way. My door shuts all the way. So I never really understood what you meant or validated your experience.

I mean, I believed you, but I was like, maybe she just doesn't know how the door works. I think this happens a lot with both of us where, like, one person has an experience that is really, like, not important to them, but it's like a big moment from the other person doesn't understand it. And then six months later, I'm like, I didn't understand when you were going through it when you met. It's happens all the time. So I'm sitting there on the toilet. It's like a barn door, like a sliding bar door. Yeah, sliding door. But I'm sitting there in the toilet and the door shut all the way.

You know, it's touching the doorframe on the other side. and I'm staying there in toilet debating maybe I'll take a poop I'm not that weird about I'll run the faucet I'll go I don't need to go in the lobby that's not he does that I don't really play like that I do and I see that gap and the door it does not hit the wall all away so when the door is even completely shut there's a whole like you can see right through it just no soundproofing at all and I was like I'm sitting in that toilet debating whether to drop a load and I go she was right and in my soul I felt an apology to be rising up it's funny because like you hit it well I never knew that you didn't think that my experiences were valid I just thought that you were like I get it sis so all these years I'm just like she doesn't know how to shut the door like all these years I'm like she doesn't know how to shut the door she doesn't know how a sliding door works like all these years to see that gap and I was like you can't poop in here this is so funny I feel like it's one of those moments you're like I didn't understand it until I went through it, like what you're experiencing. It is a big ass gap. Like, somebody can watch you

drop a load. Yeah. Yeah. If he peeked in, he could just see me. Watch the dooky hitting the toilet. That is, thank you for validating my experience. I'm glad that we got there. That's funny because you also never had to shut it. I get it. Right. That is so funny. Okay. We are just going to talk about our remaining partners and then get into it. I am so excited to talk about Nutraful today and always. I shared recently on the podcast. that I was having an issue with my hair months back, excessive shedding and thinning, and it was super upsetting. And this happens to a lot of women for various reasons. It can be internal factors, hormones, aging, environment, whatever it is. So I really turned to Nutraful and I've committed

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You know what's so cute is this year. We're talking about friendship today, now we're there we're an hour into the episode. We're talking about friendship and, like, evolving and being in different life stages and feeling like you outgrew them. And I think a lot of times, you know, when a man or just a significant other comes in, you can feel like you're losing your best friend. But you and I are spending, is this our seventh Valentine's Day together? Oh, my God.

Tomorrow. So if we're still going strong. Is it? Yeah, either six or seven. Probably six, because. Like 2018, 19, 21, 22, 23, 24. I never know. Seven.

Seven. That's crazy. Oh, my God. Seven Valentine's Day. We've usually been on the road. We always have shows this weekend. We're not exaggerating. Like, every year we're together on Valentine's Day.

Like, when we started touring, like we would usually have shows around there, like you said. But, like, we were starting the podcast in 2018 and touring in 2019 and 2020. What are you doing in 2020? We did a show either in San Diego on Valentine's. Day or in Los Angeles. San Diego. Yeah, San Diego was first. We missed our flight.

Our first flight. And then we got in late. But yeah, we spent everyone together. So this is our seventh year. I'm glad I didn't lose you to your boyfriend this year. I was like, what's it going to be? Yeah. I mean, it's just, I'm glad to talk about this topic as we celebrate our anniversary and also

with the context that we met in our 30s. Like, I met you when I was 34. Like that's what's just so crazy. You know, like I do feel like we are a shining example of that. Of like, you know, a lot of our listeners are younger. Of course, we have listeners of all ages. But I feel like this whole my friends are in life stages is a lot of 20s and 30s, of course, when everyone is all over the place. Truly.

You know, people start having kids at 24. I feel like career-wise, I think people have like zoomed past you and I'm just sort of left behind. I feel like I was just thinking like, you know, different life stages. Career, I think doesn't get acknowledged enough. But like you can look around and feel like everybody has succeeded past me. Right. Yeah. I mean, we can totally talk about that.

I mean, that was completely my story of all through my 20s. Like, I was just like the broke friend to then later become the rich friend, like in a totally different way because I just chose a different type of path. So I felt behind for so many years. And like I was the person going at these bachelor at parties and overdrafts in my account and just couldn't pay for anything. And but I just really feel like up top that's like the message I want to send of like it's never too late to make friends.

And you should always be on. the lookout for potential friends and never think that you're done. And we can jokingly say no new friends, but I certainly don't buy into that. And I think that it's hard when you're younger and you have this really tight-knit circle of maybe that you're a college friend or maybe that they're just this incredible group that you're like, there's no way this will change. There's no way it can change. I'll freak out if this changes. You know, this is my primary solitary group of friends and they will be until the end of time. And sure, they might be, but chances are they probably won't. And like, that's good. You know, like change is good. And,

I think it's so important to have different close group of friends. I think I have like five legitimately like different separate groups of friends that I like take trips with. You know, like so does my mom. It's like where I get it from. You know, I think it's really important to not put all your eggs in my basket. Yeah. I think that as we get older and we sort of like evolve past friendships or they ebb and flow, it can feel like a failure.

And that feels like, you know, romantic relationships do end but friendships aren't supposed to. And like you feel like should I've been reaching out more? Like I, you definitely turn to yourself and say, like what's wrong with me? Why do I not want this like I used to or why do I feel left out? That doesn't feel like a familiar feeling to me and why am I jealous of something that I wasn't previously jealous of? I mean, you know, you hear it all the time like I want to get pregnant and my friends have kids and I like can't be around it and things like that. And I think that like there's nothing wrong with feeling like I'll grew this and I'm in different life phase.

And like you can sit in that and feel a little uncomfortable and more in that and that feels really bad. But like you and I always say like friendships ebb and flow and you can come back to people in the long term. But in the meantime, maybe you do have to find some new friends. And that's uncomfortable too. And say yes to everything and try to fill the holes where like those once were. And that's uncomfortable and sad. And losing friends is like not something I take lightly. It really should be mourned. But it's not a failure because life changes. Yeah. I mean, we've said friendships ebb and flow a million times in this podcast, like you just said. I mean, I've had periods of my life where I thought there is no way this friendship will ever be the same. Like there's no way.

We have, like, grown too far apart. No fight or anything necessarily, but just, like, we're in totally different life stages. And you end up just as close or in a different way close. And, like, my college girlfriend's the perfect example. And they all just chose a different path to me. I mean, they were all married by 28 and they all have children. And I'm not saying that we're closer. We talk every day, but we still take trips together.

And we still are in communication. And they are all a lot closer separately than me because their kids travel together. They do all these things. Their husbands are friends, all the things. And I don't feel left out, of course. I made, like, all these other friends in my life, the people that also. like live a more similar life to me. But I remember that time I think I've spoken about this where I was just sitting. I think it was like someone's shower weekend, baby shower and like they all pretty much

had kids. And I was like sitting there at this table with them. Like I can't even relate on any level. And I understand they all had babies. Like that's consuming their lives. And now we've gotten to this place where they still all are married with kids. But like we've come back together and they don't talk about that shit all the time. And it's like we really still can relate to each other. And I feel like closer to them than I ever have been. And I've had other circumstances too with friends where I'm like, I feel this distance. Like, how would we ever get back to being like best friends? And you just like do? You don't always. There's no guarantees. But I say this just to provide comfort to anyone that is like feeling like they're losing a best friend or a group of friends. And I just think like when we

talk about making new friends, it's not just necessarily stockpile all the friends in case you lose one. But like almost in a way, like it's easier to accept friendships changing when you don't have all your stock in like one friendship or like one group or like one threesome you know like that's when you start to panic of like oh god you know but when you have other friendships to focus on family relationships other shit going on it's not going to freak you out as much that's an amazing point and also like we shouldn't feel beholden to a friendship that maybe is toxic or we've outgrown it for like bad reasons and feeling like you've nothing else in your life so it is a good point to always be trying to like manufacture and have new friendships not just like when we need them all of a

sudden. I know that feeling where you're like, I just have four good friends. And if like two of them drop off, like, what do I have left? Right. But like, I think a lot of times the thing that bonds you to a person is no longer present. And like children, like now your friends are mothers. And that is the thing that's the thing that's the thing in their life. And maybe what bonded you together was like going out and partying late night or late nights just having one on the couch. And like, that's no longer present. But like it can come back around. It just, it's sad. It's a hard, like, pill to swallow that like, we just don't gravitate towards the same. same things anymore. Most of my friendships I felt like that about have come back around.

Yeah. But I think it's okay to like acknowledge that and sit with that for a minute and really start to like find some other friends in the meantime. Yeah. That's easier said than done. And even just reframe or strengthen other friendships. Like this is this thing I talked about with a friend of ours where you can really strengthen another relationship that you hadn't prioritized in a certain way before. Like I love to watch friendships change like that in my own life in other people's life. Like, I'm amazed sometimes. Like someone who you thought was like a casual friend, you never really thought you'd be that close with. Like sometimes all it takes is like a few solo hangs and they can become like a best friend if you really put some time and effort and

openness into it. I like love to see it. It's not everyone's experience, but it certainly has been mine and yours. And I think there's like two sides of this. I think that we're hearing from a lot of our listeners that feel more of like the left behind maybe of like I feel like I'm the last single one or the last one without kids and everybody's moving on without me. I haven't bought a home yet or my career is not where it needs to be, like, whatever facet of light. But I also feel like that first friend feels this, the first friend that gets married and has kids without everybody else. That can be really isolating and lonely, too. And then you feel like you're missing out. You're the first one that, like, settled down. Like, that's hard too when I want to

acknowledge that. And when I think of like my group of like Corey, Laura and Lee, you know, those like four friends which now you're a part of that group too. Corey's the only one that has kids. And I feel like there's been these moments where she's like, can someone else fucking have a kid? You know, like she feels like the outsider in that way. You know, like we're all down in Miami and she's got her three kids, you know. So it's like I want to acknowledge both sides of it because I would not want to be that first one. Especially in your 20s. Everyone else is still just like traveling, doing all this fun, crazy stuff.

And, you know, even if you're living a little bit of the chaotic life, you're trying to figure your shit out, like to be the first one to kind of settle down, I'd be like, damn, this sucks. I know. And you really get a lot of foam out in that book. Everything I Know About Love. Yeah. Dolly Allerton. Yeah, she talks about how her, like, best friend got married really young. And she really felt like she lost her and that she's just, like, settled down with all of her married friends now. They don't have the same life anymore and, like, how painful that was. I had a hard time

getting through it. I just got chills. Thank you for bringing that up. This is the best example in a book that I've ever read about this. It was hard for me to read it. It's honestly the most poignant part of that whole book is all about her friendships and really that best friendship. It's a collection of stories, but that's like this thread that weaves throughout that like really makes you emotional with her. I'm going to get emotional talking about it. You guys should really read that book, Everything I know about Love by Dolly Alderton. I'm going to pick up her most recent book too.

It reminded me of me and you and like people have asked me so much of the last like eight, nine months. Like has it feel that she like has this person and you don't. And like people say it really nicely, but like do you feel like you've lost her? And like I don't feel like that. But like our relationship has changed a little bit. there's this other person in your life. And I do hear from you marginally less. And certain things, he's going to take care of you for those things now. I'm not. And I feel really lucky that you pick

somebody that I'm so close with. And I think that can really like make you feel better. But I think you and I are in that phase where you feel like I'm the single one and she has this person. And like I don't have it. And I want what you have. I've never felt like you like love me any less. And that's really special. And I've been thinking about it a lot. And that book really like, made me think about that too. I was like, why am I having a hard time reading this? And I was like, oh, because it's like my experience. But I think that you, I mean, we're in business together. So we're always going to like talk constantly. And I think you're like older. We're more mature. We're more equipped to handle it. Yeah. It's like a real blow in your 20s. It is. And even like I still feel like emotional

about it. And in the book she sort of talks about like I realized somebody else was like in charge of her heart now. And just like, oh God. I'm trying so much this episode. It looks like random studio. And I was like talking to Melanie about it when I was in Miami a little bit. And I was like, you know, there's this other person in her life now. And Melanie's like, well, you know, it's, normal as you get older to prioritize your partner. And your partner is the person that like, you spend all your time with. That's normal. That's natural. And I was like, it is. But like, Ashley's just like been this thing in my life. Like that's, that's the number one teammate always. And like, you have another teammate now. And he also doesn't live here. So that's great

for me. And I still think that like you and I talk constantly. But I don't know what the lesson is in this. It's just, it was like a little hard for me to get. through and I was like checking with myself like this is hard for me is this bad but you also don't make me feel like stupid for being single like you never would like you I think that it's tough when you have those friends that like they get into a relationship and they start saying shit to you about like suddenly they're an expert in relationships they've been in one for five minutes right and I think that that's like really tough and feeling like your friend doesn't prioritize you anymore and I don't feel like that about you and I feel like lucky that I don't like you said we're older we're else in business you

can't escape me but the dynamic has shifted and I understand feeling like I don't like my friend's partner. It's, it's like really hard. I like your partner and I love you. Well, you're, you couldn't be like a better friend about it. I mean, it is just like there's never an ounce of even like annoyance or resentment or anything. If you like, you're willing to like work around my schedule to see him. Like, I don't know. You're just like, you couldn't be like a better friend. And I don't know. I just, I'm like so emotional today. I don't know what is going on. But I just like really want you to find somebody too. And, you know, I know you will. Like, I'm not trying to, like, drive that home. But, you know, he and I actually had this conversation

recently about how you just are talking to people less. Like, he was saying that, like, he feels like he talks to his mom less because he used to call her and now he calls me. And, you know, he's aware of it. But, like, it can't not happen. Like, if you bring a romantic partner into your life as someone who was, like, single before, that's the thing. You have those girls that always have a boyfriend, so you always know what you're going to get. You know, they're always coupled up. So their amount of time dedicated to you kind of stays the same. They end one relationship. get into another. Like that's who they are. That's their homeostasis. As someone who is single a lot, and like we've had this relationship and the relationship I have with my other friends, like,

things have just really changed. I have like a whole other person that's like a huge part of my life. So he just does like take up time of like talking and I'm talking about stuff that maybe I talked to you about before. And I don't really feel like our relationship is shifted and like our closeness or anything like that. But you just, you can't really avoid it. You know, and I want to be more aware of it too. And you don't know so much when you're in it. And then you have friends that are feeling neglected or and they're like, but you've changed and this has changed and you're like, but I'm so happy and I have my boyfriend. And you know, you don't see it when you're in it.

And I think that's also where you need to, if you're the person that's feeling kind of neglected or your friendship has changed, you could absolutely have this conversation and have it really gently without being accusatory. But like you have to give people some grace too, you know, and we hear this all the time. I mean, friends that are like two peas in a pod, girlfriends running around, dating. like that one gets a boyfriend, it changes like, oh, drastically. It can really hurt. Yeah, I really can.

And I feel lucky that I have all these other friends here. And I have what you said, like spending more one-on-one time with other people. Like, I think that you and I do so many group hangs. So it is really important to me to like single out some of those girls. Like I have just spent like a lot of one time recently with like Jackie and Anne, two of our girlfriends. Yeah. It's really strengthened those relationships. Somebody's ever going to replace you.

But I'm like, you have this other person in your life that's taking up more time. And so I have tried to like fill my time a little bit more with like my single girlfriend's I go out with a little more. And I think it's important to like maintain the old one and still try to like grow new ones. Yeah. And I think like think about what your friends, what they bring to your life and the stuff you guys discuss and what you bond over. Like I think that you, somebody's getting like, I'll never have that with somebody else. And like you will. You know, like I had a falling out with a friend a long time ago. And it was like she was my friend that I always like talked about music or whatever with.

And like now I just, I talk about that with another friend. You know, like I'm not saying that people are replaceable, but you can bring more people into your life, strengthen those relationships, prioritize them, find things about them you didn't know and like really have friendships with them you may have never expected if you just had been so focused in on like those few other people. I like that you said like solo hangs. I think it's like it sounds like duh, but like I really find a lot of value and like one-on-one interactions with women.

and like I encourage myself to like share a little bit more about myself and don't make it so surface and like ask a lot of questions and I think that like women are really good at deepening relationships to each other because like you'll really share a lot like it's funny I was talking to Jeremy and he was like we're talking about friend tights he was like well men just have like an argument and it's just over the next day and you say like whatsoever you just dab it up and you're fine and I was like okay well women's relationships are a little more tiered than that they're a little deeper than that so you've just got a fifth bump and everything's cool but the nice thing about women's relationships is they do feel like deeper than like male relationships. Listen, I guess some of you

have deep male relationships. Yeah, if you feel like that you do. Yeah, I'm sure you do. But like women I think are able to like have these really deep relationships by sharing things with each other. Like I have friends that I bond over like a broken engagement with. That's like a unique experience. And I encourage myself always to just share a little more about myself to like deepen the bond with maybe a new person. Yeah. And like find those things you connect on, you know, like, oh, like, she loves Beyonce. Like, you know, you start sending each other like memes back and forth or this person is obsessed with the shade room comment section like I am.

You know, like you find things to like bond over that you relate on that you may have not thought about before. And something I wrote down is like when you feel like everybody's moving on without you or they have what you want, like I think it's really important to think about what you really do want. Like, do you really want those things, you know, like do you really want the marriage and the house and the kids? or do you like want this career?

You can have it all, you know. But I'm saying like I think it's a gut check on this stuff is always important because you may be feeling left out or feeling left behind, but you don't even want those things anyway. You just think you're supposed to. So it's always so important to surround yourself with people that like also have like shared common goals and want to do the same things as you, you know, like that my college girlfriends has a perfect experience.

I never felt left behind and we all, you know, one our separate ways after college for the most part. But like I very much could have when it's just like another wedding. You know, there's seven of us. It's like, like I said, by the time we were 28, all of them were married, these six girls. You know, I'm like the single at the wedding, the final wedding of all of them, honestly. So I just think, do you really want this? And if you do, that's great too.

I think that also comes down to what we talked about with Elise Loonen and her citing Lori Gottlieb of like, if you're jealous of something, you know, think about why. And someone wrote that in our question slide of like, how can I be happy for my friends when they have something that. I want so much, you know, and I think that's so layered of like everyone around you is getting the stuff that you want and how can you like be happy when you want it so deeply and you're feeling left behind and you're feeling single and lonely and all this stuff. But I just think when everyone around you is getting something that you want, it just means you're closer to it. It's like means a good thing. It should inspire you. It should shouldn't feel out of reach. It's like these are all the closest people to me. They're all falling in love and doing this stuff.

Like that means like it should be coming. I like that advice. And I think you can start to emulate some of the decisions that those people made. Like, those people can be role models to you. Like, how do they get this type of relationship? Also, maybe you don't want that type of relationship. And you're like, great, well, that's more inspiration for something I don't want. Right. Yeah, do you even want that?

You know, like, we always say that, like, all these relationships, like, I don't even want that relationship. I don't want most people's relationships. Yeah, exactly. It wouldn't be for me. I'm happy for them, you know? But I think that being in different phases of living friends, I think it's really hard to feel like I've outgrown this friendship, but I've outgrown other people because it feels

kind of mean. You feel a little mean-spirited, feeling like, you feel like, you're Like, do I have a superiority complex that I feel like this? And I think this can happen a lot. Definitely when you're the first on a serious relationship and all your friends are like partying and the thing that bonds you no longer exists. Or you see that a lot of people to stop drinking and don't party as much. You just feel like I've outgrown everybody around me. And it can feel a little elitist internally.

And you sort of stop making plans and you distance yourself. And I think that like it can, for the person that you're distancing yourself from, it can feel like quicksand because they keep trying. Yeah. Like you're not really engaging. And it's tough, you know. I think it's okay to outgrow each other. And it's really painful. And I lost a very close friend this year.

She's still alive. But she's somebody that was like family to me. And I think about her every single day. And I think about every single little inflection point of fights that like these little jabs at each other and everything over the last year and a half that we like both did that like I was mad about. And like I never said anything about it. And like I never gave her the opportunity to like defend herself or to not defend herself.

to stand in her own ground and say, yeah, I meant to do that. Like, I didn't really give her a lot of opportunities, and she didn't necessarily give me them until it was too late. And I, like, really mourn that. I feel really sad every day. Like I told you yesterday, I think about her every day. And she was, like, family to me. I don't take it lightly, but I do sort of feel like maybe for the time being we've

outgrown each other. And I have to, like, just, I have to feel like I tried every single thing, I think, in my power, and I've learned from it. Unfortunately, I've learned a lot of lessons from it. And that's the only thing I can really take. from it is that like I won't let things get this bad next time. I'll say how I feel next time. I'll draw boundaries. I won't just make somebody feel bad and not know why they're being made to feel bad. And I hate that she's like this lesson that I have to learn because she's this wonderful

person. I love her so much. But like I don't know if we can be in each other's lives anymore. And I hope that's not forever. I do. I feel for you with that, of course, and you know all the and outs of this, but, like, you could come back around or not. You know, you never know, like, you know, the end of the day hasn't been that long. Having a falling out with a friend feels like weeks, feel like months, months, feel like years. But at the end of the day, you know, you could come back and friends come in and out of our lives and they're not all forever. And we've said before friendships run their course.

You know, I had a falling out with a friend that I was friends with for not even really, well, I guess it was falling out. It was a weird situation. She came at me, but I had been feeling like I outgrew the friendship. It felt kind of like we weren't relating on things and her life was so different and our values and politics felt really misaligned and it just kind of all blew up a little bit. And I don't feel like you. I have never missed her since.

That sounds harsh to say, but it's like the friendship was like kind of over. It's almost when you hear married couples divorce that had just the marriage had been over. You know, they'd been separated. You know, it just was like the finality of it. But that friendship just ran its course and that happens sometimes. and you don't need to beat yourself up about it. We crowdsourced this topic on Instagram, and we have so much more we want to cover,

and we want to do a whole deep dive on, like, friendship breakups, too. You guys really want us to speak about that again. We can talk more about it, but just the outgrowing. Like, I could feel people's, like, guilt, or like you said, like I feel like an asshole. Like, I feel like a brat saying this, but I kind of feel like I've outgrown this person and they're a childhood friend.

Your parents could be friends, like, all of that. And how do I deal with it? Yeah. I mean, it felt like her and I were in this, like, terrible figure eight of like she felt really judged by me and I was being really judgmental. That's not incorrect and I feel like we were both trying to like understand the other person and maybe for the time being like our interest didn't align and I think she was sick of feeling judged by me and I was sick of maybe feeling like I'm in situations I feel really judgmental

of and it's not fair to either person to stay in the relationship and be unhealthy for each other because I don't think she wanted to feel like her best friend was judging her all the time and I didn't want to feel like judgmental of this person who I really love and think is just like the best person in the world and sometimes you just have to like step back and maybe I wish I would have addressed it and step back a little sooner or admitted how I was feeling. I don't know. It's hard to say to somebody like I don't like what's going on here and you and I have had a lot of situations where like I can say I don't like this situation but I'm not mad at you as a person. And I felt like I was almost like mad at her as a person, not like each individual situation. And I could have done a better job

of expressing that until it got so bad that I was just like not being nice ever. But I think that it's not fair for both people to stay in it because you both like kind of deserve better. Just because you have history or whatever the reason you may feel as your personal circumstances. But yeah, I mean, it felt like a classic like outgrowing different stages of life kind of stuff. Very different. You know, like and you find that. I mean, again, like your 20s and your 30s are like all over the place. You know, people are getting married and settling down and buying homes and having kids in their 20s. Some people aren't even considering that until their 30s. People are, well, under their, I'm 40. I'm, you know, not married, no kids. You know, their careers are all over

the place. People get right out of college and they just go into a career and that's where they stay. And other people just, they feel like they're floundering forever. And then maybe they hit it big or maybe they don't and, you know, they're still living at home. And you just feel there is no consistency. And someone had wrote on Instagram, like there's this friendship shift in your 30s that no one talks about and it doesn't necessarily be in your 30s. I mean, people say there's a real shift in life at 27 and whenever it is, but it can feel like you don't know where you're supposed to be and everyone is in a different stage and people are moving, you know, and things are changing. I just think that like change and discomfort will lead you to growth if you let it. Like you were

saying, like a lot of this is like sitting in the discomfort, seeing a relationship for what it may be and like maybe it did run its course and you have all these other relationships to strengthen, you all these other good things in your life and things you can put focus on but things just change yeah i like you said because i try to not have experiences in my life that are just all negative at least i'm like what was the lesson here and like i i hate that she has to be a lesson and maybe it doesn't that we outgrew each other we just we're very much in different life phases right now and i think that like all i can learn is to just like do do better and i can acknowledge like i didn't handle a lot of situations well i wasn't kind i wasn't empathetic i wasn't that open-minded and certain things i wouldn't change i wouldn't change at all. Certain things, I would be able to stand in my ground and say, I don't like this. Take it or leave it. Be friends of me or don't. I don't care. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. What else? But I hate that this person has to be a lesson, but I guess I can hopefully be a better friend in the future, like, other people. And maybe one day we'll circle back. Yeah. I just, my experience with you has always just been like a great friend. So it's like,

I can't relate. Thank you. I can't imagine it was your fault, but that's just me. Nothing's ever my thought. Yeah. I think that, you know, I love that you take gross. responsibility. Also what I learned through this is I am a different friend to different people. You know, I think different people ask different things of you. And there's some friends that like really ask a lot in terms of emotional support. There's friends that don't ask anything in terms of emotional support. And the ones that don't ask anything in terms of emotional support, you have to remind yourself to check in with those people too. And just because they're not asking for something and their low maintenance doesn't mean you should treat them as such. And it just reminded me that you are like kind of every relationship's different. You are a different friend each person. And like I said, some of my friends would be like, I've never heard a raise her voice. I've never heard. This person. person would say she lit me up and started screaming. I mean, like a crazy person. Right. Yeah. So everybody experiences you in a different way and I'm like learning that too. Like I didn't even realize like how I show up differently in different friendships. Yeah. And a topic that came up a lot was one-sided friendships. And I think we want to deep dive on that at a later date too that came up over and over and over and like feeling like you give someone like more support or you celebrate them more. You ask some more questions. You don't get in return.

And I've talked about that with Sparkleys as well. Like I think obviously men have a lot of the same shared experiences. They're not like a totally different breed. But, you know, like that happens in every type of friendship and relationship, family relationships, all the things. I think that like, you know, when you talk about being in a different life stage of a friend and, you know, certainly the friend that you had to falling out with is younger and you just, I really saw a disparity in the way that you guys were choosing to live your life. And that's not a judgment call, but you were living like different types of lives. And I think that like you have to just meet friends where they're at sometimes. And this comes down to a friend that could be, again, married kids. I think friendships are really.

really like a seesaw. And like sometimes you're, you're up, they're down, you're giving way more, they're giving less, you hope it all balances out in the end. You don't want a one-sided friendship. But there are times when you're like, I'm the one checking in on you all the time. I'm coming to you more. I'm having to show it for you more. It's like, I don't know, do they just have a kid? You know, that takes over your whole fucking life. So I think you have to give people grace to, but do a gut check. Don't just give, give, give, and let someone take, take, take. Like, I want to be clear. I'm not saying you should, if someone's listening this and they're like, I'm always on the hook. Like, that shouldn't be how you should feel.

But I think sometimes you do just have to meet someone where they're at a little bit. Or when we talk about someone that's still in their party phase and you've kind of moved on from that, like figure out what you do with them now if you want to salvage the friendship. I mean, if it's a friend that you used to just party so hard with and get drunk with and you still want to maintain the friendship, but you don't do that anymore. I mean, can you guys go out for coffee? I mean, can you do something different? Can you like just go to dinner?

Can you just meet up and hang? you know, I think that realizing how you can like meet people where they've changed is important too. Definitely. And checking you yourself and say like, am I contributing enough to this also? Like, I had a friend say to me the other day like I feel like I don't talk to you as much now that you moved. And I'm glad she said it because I was like, I really have fallen off a little bit. I moved to a new city. I've lived in two places in my whole life. I've moved to a new city. I have a whole different life out here. I'm trying to like make friends and acclimate here. And I have let some of the things fall by the wayside. And I realize like I have to

at least meet people halfway if I expect them to like keep reaching out and ask questions about my life. Like it was a moment where I was just like, okay, I don't try as much maybe sometimes because I'm very just like in my own head of like making LA home, making friends here. It's hard. I don't talk to my brother as much anymore. We're on a nine hour time difference and he goes to bed at 8 p.m. If I want to talk to him, I got to call him at 9 a.m.

I hate it. Right. But the alternative is like not really have a relationship. So like sometimes you do just have to try a little bit harder. It sucks. It's annoying. But like, I had to call them at 9 o'clock this morning. Yeah, I mean, but like there will be a point where maybe we'll have to try harder with you.

You know, I think sometimes we're like, I'm the one putting in all the effort and like don't get taken advantage of. You know, don't just be a doormat. But like there could be a time in your life when you're going to need them to show up for you and them to put in all the effort. You know, like life goes back and forth. I mean, there's times when, especially when people are building a family or whatever in their career that they just like don't have the capacity and you need to show up for them more. And like, hopefully they'll do the same for you when it's your turn. So I just think it's also always worth a conversation. And again, non-accusatory, non-angry way.

Like, if you really feel like your friend is moving on and you're upset about it and you want to talk about it and you feel like they're oblivious to what's going on, like those conversations can be really impactful if you approach them the right way and approach them with love and like, I just miss you. And I just miss what we had. Is there a way we can kind of work on this? You know, like I understand where you're at. but this is like how I'm feeling and I want to preserve this friendship. I mean, I've said this so much over the year. It's like I've never broached those conversations and regretted them, but I sure is shit regret not having them. Like I could have fixed this friendship, maybe.

It's so many different inflection points if I was just like, hey, I don't like this. I don't like how you're being, but I didn't do that. And I'm not going to shoulder all responsibility here. She did her own stuff too. And I think she knows that. Like we both contributed here. But like I at least know on my side of the street, I could have, I could have supposed to up the street a little better.

Yeah, I think this, all of this is like reflecting on yourself, but not being too hard on yourself either. You know, your friends might be assholes and they might have just been neglecting you and moved on without you and don't give a fuck and they might be on their high horses with their partners, their husbands, their kids, their jobs or whatever. So, I mean, I think it's just like taking a realistic look at it and realizing like what you can do and what you can't do. And change can be really good.

you know, you could feel panicked. You're being left behind or your friends are in different places than you, but that really could force you to make new great friends, excel at work, pick up a new hobby, strengthen relationships with family, find a romantic partner, whatever it may be. And you would look back and be like, God, if I had just been like head down, obsessed with my friend group and that was all I cared about, I never would have tapped into this other thing. Yeah. I feel like recently I've been saying like two things can be true at once. Like it's not easy for me or comfortable to like sit in sadness. I'm very much like let's identify the issue and let's fix it. I don't like to like sort of wallow in feelings. But like it's okay to sort of sit there and acknowledge like I'm sad. I miss this friendship. My friend found a better job. They found a partner. They found the kid. Like you can mourn that and feel sad and also at the same time be trying to make it better. Like you could do both things and you could acknowledge it and like honor how. you feel and still try to like push forward at the same time. Because I guess sometimes I get caught up where I'm like, well, if I let myself sit here and

be sad, then I'm not moving forward. I'm not trying to do anything new or make anything better. You can be sad your friend had a partner and also start dating. I always think if I get myself space to feel sad that I'm not going to do anything about this. And I've just tried to like get a little more comfortable in like both things. And I don't know. I like what you said.

You know, maybe you can just be inspired by the people around you. And man, it sucks losing a friend. It's so hard. It's like the worst thing in the world. but maybe that's an opportunity to get something else in your life and they could come back around. Yeah, I mean, people leave your life or if they don't leave, they're a little more distant in which they're creating space in your life or something else. We're not just like done at 22 with our friends from college and like this is how life it's going to be. I hate to break it to you if you're like a younger listener and you're like, what are you talking about?

I can't imagine anything different. Like, you know, like things just change and like people come and go and jobs come and go and romantic partners come and go. And like, that's just like what it is. And whatever you may look to us for, look up to us for, like this friendship, I think, is the number one thing. And like finding each other later in life, you know, just in our 30s. That's not even late, but building this career, you know, in our 30s. And I think that it could be your 40s. It could be your 50s.

I mean, I think my mom met one of her very best friends when she was late 50s, early 60s. And she was in her 30s, 40s, like they have a huge age gap. and they're still like lifelong friends. And, you know, I know so many people with stories like that. It's just never too late. No. I mean, I think about my bridal party at 28. And there's only one person that I had in that bridal party that would be in it today.

And that's Melanie. But like it would be so many other people today. And I outgrew some of those friendships. And my friend Courtney is a good example of somebody I didn't outgrow, but she lives across the country. She has two babies. She's married. We've just lived different lives.

And we don't talk as much. But like, I still love her very much when I see her. our shows in Portland. That's great. But like that would have been like my main bridesmaid. And life is different now, but that's okay. And she's still in my life in a different capacity. Yeah. And I love that too. Yeah. So don't freak out. Everybody. You're on your own path. Yeah. Figure out what you want. Well, thank you. You don't want. Don't do that. Yeah. Well, thank you guys for an amazing six years. And thank you to Ashley for six years. And everybody who's just been here for the ride, we've really lucky. We've a great team. We've great advertisers. We've great people.

that inspire us around us all the time. I can't believe how many friends we've made through this. I just feel so lucky. Yeah. I love it. And thank you guys just really for everything. Yeah. This has been a dream. Every year doesn't go and notice that we got to do this for another year. We're going to keep doing it. And we have exciting things coming. And I hate to be like, you know, big things happen kind of bitch, but for real, for real. And the couch is still here. Somebody could have sex on it. The couch might still get fucked on by the end of 2024. I'm going to go ask the contractor to finger me on it as soon as I get home. Moldy wet couch.

And we hope you guys have a great Valentine's Day. And now I'm just rambling. But we love you guys. And of course, you know you can find us at girls got to eat.com. Girls GotEat E podcast on Instagram and TikTok and vibes only.com. Vives only on Instagram. And I'm going out of order. But our personal handles are Ash Hess and reina.

at greenberg and subscribe on youtube share this episode with a friend all your friends the one too background yeah you want to dump and this is your way to tell them and we'll see you next week have a great week guys bye