Girls Gotta Eat - "Why Aren't You Married Yet?" feat. Kate Kennedy

Episode Date: May 6, 2019

You know we love someone who can speak profoundly on relationships and also talk shit, so we're very #blessed to have Kate Kennedy of Be There in Five and author of Twinkle Twinkle Social Media Star join us this week. We're discussing the pressure to get engaged from family/friends/coworkers based on their expectations (and how not to be one of those assholes), dating app profiles (guys, what are you DOING?), and how not to drag your past relationship baggage into the next one. We're also introducing a brand new segment of feel-good stories (for once), and sharing a surprising DM proposition we both received. We hope you enjoy! Follow Kate on Instagram @BeThereInFive and check her website for everything else. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast and check our website for NEW TOUR DATES and merch. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Baked By Melissa: Get 15% off your order at BakedByMelissa.com and enter code GGE when you sign up. Hers: Get your first month of birth control for $5 at ForHers.com/gge. OkCupid: Download the free OkCupid app today. FabFitFun: Get $10 off your first box at FabFitFun.com and use the code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I like to have like intense conversations and I felt like I would get into these intense conversations and I get friends zoned. And like, I don't know what about me like makes you want to cry and miss your ex. And like that's a tough little swallow. But I like to think it's because, you know, you can open up to me. I don't know. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. Wow, so low energy. Sorry. It's cold in New York. When was it to become fall again? It's such a hot take. Walking around in all black. Just want to like smoke cigarettes. and sit inside alone and smokes eggs inside. No, I would never do that.

We have a super fun episode today. We have Kate Kennedy from Be There in Five. She's our new friend. She came from Chicago to record with us. I mean, I'm sure she had our stuff to do while she was here, but she recorded with us and we're super excited to talk to her about relationship pressure and social media and dating patterns and all kinds of fun stuff. Yeah, lots of fun hot takes on some cool topics.

I love her. And Ashley has a new best friend now. we're best friends. All right. Well, we had two more stupid live shows last week in New York. They're so stupid. If you guys came out to the stupid live shows, we want to thank you for being a part of our stupid audience.

Okay. So the very first thing I have to talk about for our shows were we opened them with Bachela in Brooklyn. So we opened them with these dancers from the dance studio banana skirt here in New York City. Byron Freeman, he led with all these other backup dancers from the actual studio, opened with full-blown, everybody mad dance sequence from Beechella,

into Crazy in Love, into the Before I Let Go Challenge. It was insane. I mean, he was so epic. He came out by himself and just a dance he did all on his own. People were like losing their minds and then 10 dancers filled the stage. I can't stop watching the video. I like cry every time I watch it. People went crazy.

I went crazy. I'm actually jealous of everybody that got to watch it. Right. We were like trying to watch for backstage, like peeking around. It is in full on my Instagram, Ash, S. You know, if you're not following me. Go ahead. But anyway, he was insane. He's also a singer. He's a single out right now called Relax, buying reframing. He's great. Also, okay, banana skirt. This is a dance studio here in New York City.

Pop star inspired fitness dance, but choreography. It's not just like dance cardio. You're learning the routines to Beyonce, Brittany, whatever. They did the before I let go challenge. And Beyonce had our Instagram story. What? Beyonce just put them on her Instagram story like yesterday. So we have something in common with Beyonce. Yeah. So Byron posted it and I thought, they had put, I thought Beyonce had put our thing on her. I was like, if Beyonce put our video from our show and her story, but it wasn't. Can you imagine? All of a sudden, you had like, you'd have a million followers over there. It was them doing like a flash mob. But we really, we love them, you guys. This isn't an ad. We just want to promote this dance studio. They're so incredible. You can learn all

these dances. You can take classes here in New York City. Banana skirt. I think the website's banana skirt.com. But anyway, we just, we asked them to give us a code so you guys can try it out. So 50% off your first three classes with code. Girls got a dance. Obviously, that's the code. And just, yeah, if you're really interested in learning the choreography, and going to these amazing classes. Byron is an instructor there. He was the guy that opened our show, and you can take them there.

Again, it's a banana skirt. It's awesome. And, yeah, Beyonce is a fan of them, too. So it's insane. The before I look at a challenge is my favorite. It was, I can't get around how incredible as I'm sorry that you guys. Sorry if you missed it. Yeah, I'm sorry if you missed it.

I'm sorry that I missed it. And then we had a couple really cool guests. We had Mateo Lane and Andrew Collin, who have both been guests on our show. Super funny comedians and super unique. They, I think, just brought so much to it. So we're really excited they could be a part of it. And we had a special guest on Wednesday night.

Dewey, Dewe Hess came to Brooklyn. We had Dewey on stage for his debut. Sorry to people who came on Monday and missed him. He just didn't want to go to Brooklyn. He was just like, I'm not going. No, we had to be there super early. So I couldn't really bring him. But we brought him Wednesday.

He did great. He, like, sat on command for the first time in his life. He was crazy. He was so, like, good and quiet. It was so great. He looked beautiful. He just walked around the stage by himself. Didn't need any help. You just let him go. I know. I felt like I was like invest in show. I was like, here's Dewey.

He's a rescue mutt, 11 years old, 80 pounds, Pyrenees rough collie mix. I'm like, checked his teeth. No, I was kidding. He did great. Yeah, he did great. He's a star. But whatever. I know that we talk about these shows, but I think that there's so much fun. They're such an epic experience. For you guys to be a part of. We love being a part of it with you guys.

With that being said, we are announcing some more live shows finally for you guys. So this summer in July, I'm going to announce the first one. And then you can do the other ones. So I'm really, really psyched to announce that we are going to be doing our first casino. So we'll be at Caesar's Palace in Atlantic City on July 12th. It's a Friday night. Come with all your friends. Do a big girls night.

Girls trip down to Atlantic City. I cannot wait to be at this casino. Dress, slutty. We're going to be sluttie. This is the sluggiest I'm ever going to look. Air Vallege dresses. Yeah, Reve Ler J.

No panties. I mean, I've never worn an undergarment to a show yet, except one time I wore spanks. But yeah, this is going to be slutty girls' trip, Bachelorette trip, casino. Like, I don't even know if we'll ever do a casino again. I mean, if we went to Vegas, but like Caesar's Palace in Atlantic City,

we're going to blow it out Friday, July 12th, after my birthday. It's going to be crazy. I can't wait. I'm so this might be the show I'm the most amped about. Okay, so we need to tell you guys about these tickets. They're like on pre-sale. We don't know what that means.

I don't understand. We've never had to do a pre-sail before. I don't understand what pre-sale means. They're on sale. They're on sale. All right, I'm sure we can't really bash this. Okay, but guys, we don't know what's going on. The tickets are going to be on sale.

If you're listening to us on Monday, the six, the tickets are we'd be on sale, on pre-sale, Tuesday, May 7th, tomorrow, if you're listening on Monday, starting at 10 a.m. I don't know. Whatever this means. You can buy them tomorrow. They're out sale. And the code is snack heads. So S-N-A-C-K-H-E-A-D-S.

Snackheads, go to... We'll have the link on our website. We'll have the code on our website. But if you are listening to this, fresh out the gate Monday morning, they will not start being on sale until tomorrow Tuesday at 10 a.m. They will be totally on sale.

No pre-sale code needed to the public this Friday. They just want to know that you really want it. You know, like they want to make it as complicated as possible. I don't know how for you. I just,

I've never understood pre-sale. It basically means there's like people that are VIP ticket holders, people that are VIPs of the hotel that an Amex VIPs and they want to offer that step to be first for the code.

Okay. So right. So you just need a code. So snack heads it is, again, that we'll have this on the website. So AC tickets pre-sale this week,

whatever that means. Um, and then we are going to Phoenix, July 14. Denver, July 16th, and Salt Lake City, July 18. I have never been to Salt Lake or Phoenix. I am so excited.

I'm so excited. I feel like the men are going to be so hot. I have a couple things to say about this tour. We slipped and said Denver last week. And all week we've been getting, Raina said something about Denver because we knew we had the show, we just had announced yet. So we got messages from you guys all week long. I heard you say Denver.

I heard you say Denver. So yeah, Denver. I thought about this last night. I was lying in bad. I got so angry. I used to have a Phoenix Sun Starjacket, and it was orange and purple. I've got it because the colors.

What do I know about basketball? We all know. I don't know about basketball. So Phoenix Sun's Starjacket back in like middle school. And a years ago, I was like, oh, I could really use that because they like came back. It's so cool and vintage. And I call my mom and she was like, oh, no, we took all this to Goodwill. I almost like cut her.

I was so mad. Can you imagine just rolling out in Phoenix with an old school Phoenix Sun Starjack on stage? No, she really fucked us. I know. Somebody has one. If somebody has one, I hope they bring it for you. Just bring it.

Let me wear it on stage to bring me back to my middle school roots. I'm so mad at my mom right now. I'm glad. Okay, I'm glad that we're saying things, making announcements, because if you're coming to the Denver show, please bring me CBD oil, a case of it. I'm a little worried about how you're going to bring all that home. Ask me for drugs. No, no, no.

Like, people are going to bring it and you're not going to know what to do it. They're going to like... You can put it in your suitcase? Cases and cases. Yeah, as many. I'll figure out a way. Nobody's going to bring me cases of THC, CBD oil. But if you do, I'll figure out a way to get it home.

I'll ship it to myself. And Salt Lake City, I know nothing really about it. Utah is beautiful. We're going to get so many cute nature picks. Oh, it might make me go on a hike. I think the alcohol is regulated there. What does that mean? I don't know.

Someone told me the alcohol is regulated. So, like, people, I don't know. I'm sure our fans will still be lit. They're always drunk. The drunkest fans ever. I love it so much. Everybody at the meat and great is so drunk by the end of the show. I can't wait.

I can't wait. Anyways, you guys are probably saying, what about all these other cities? Like Pittsburgh and Toronto and, Columbus and Cleveland, Minneapolis, etc. I promise you. We promise you. We are working on deals for every one of those cities. We're going to announce all of them super soon. We know that we owe you, especially those in Canada and the Midwest. We promise it is top of our list. It is the next stuff that we will announce. We promise. Yes. Coming soon, announcing Canada, then we're going to be

announcing Midwest. Then we're going to be announcing the Southeast. I can't wait. I can't wait. There's one city in particular that people we've never even mentioned and we're doing it. You guys are going to be excited. I can't wait for. We have like a little southeast tour in the fall. I'm going to freak out. Okay. All right. Well, anyways, we're working on all of it.

We love you all. We can't wait to meet you. Okay. You have a DM that you want to read. So someone DM'd us. I think he emailed or he DM'd you, me and Girls Got to Eat. Yes. He DM me personally.

Right. And me personally. So this one is the one I got personally, but this also came through to Girls Got to Eat too. Ashley, how are you? Listen, my girlfriend wants me to try to sleep with you and Raina in the hopes that you'll love me and then invite me on the show. show. I said that she wouldn't want me to do that, but she said it would be great content.

I can't argue against good content. Anyways, let me know if you're interested. Feel free to DM her as well and gave me her handle. So I saw this come through. Immediately, I'd screenshot it. I sent it to you. I think it was too late at night. You were already sleeping. 1130. You weren't paying attention to my text. I'd already pulled up the porn. And then I see it got unsent. And I'm like, well, too late, I already screenshoted it. But he unsented on Instagram. And the new one came through five minutes later, revised. Hi Rain and Ashley, psycho or power move. My girlfriend

loves your podcast so much that she literally wanted me to DM you both in the hopes that one of you would fall in love with me so that I could introduce her to you both. She said that if you guys liked me, she would gladly hand me over just so she could be friends, you guys. Not sure how to feel about this one, so I'll just leave that there. I live in New York and would love to grab a drink if you both are down. So he went from, can I fuck you both to maybe you'll have a crush on me, then maybe we can sleep together? Can we get a drink?

What is going on here? Okay, I want to know, okay, if I can be like a fly on the wall of any relationship, it's that one. Like, what conversation led down the path to having this conversation and then revising it? Yeah. She's like, oh, you know, maybe you went in kind of strong, like, you know, out of the gate offering and have sex with them. Yeah.

Maybe take it back and offer to date them. Yeah. Like what? She couldn't just send us a DM be like, hey, what's up? We respond to all the DMs. It is so crazy. Like, this was well thought out. Like we get we get lots of DMs that are like, hey, I want to be friends with you girls.

I'm just shooting my shot. This is so crazy that she went through her man. And I got news for you. If I fuck your man, we are probably not going to be friends for a number of reasons. I mean, yeah. Can you imagine fucking some guy and then being like, I can't wait to befriend your girlfriend. It's so wild. I don't know.

I thought that was funny. Would you do a three-sum with them? No, what? I don't know these people. I just feel like, you know, the girl should be involved. Like, I'm not trying to be out here dating somebody, like on a date with the dude who I know has a girlfriend that she's like, what, waiting in the wings.

Yeah. And she's like, and how did she make her other friends? She's just like, said in her boyfriend out of her on missions to like, I didn't even realize if he's, like, kind of hot though. Oh, well, that changes things. You should have mentioned this up top. No, he's not bad looking. All right, let me say.

Hold on. Let me just double check. Like, how does this? girl make other friends. Do you think like her boyfriend, she's out here like fucking all these people so that she can have friends? No, never mind. He's private. It's hard to tell. Wait, a minute. He hasn't graduated yet? No, it says his school and then 2018. She's graduated from college. Or business school, but regardless, he's like 20. Oh my God. Or if you graduate business school or a grad school, 25. Oh my God. I bet he's pretty hot. Let me see his little bubble. I cannot tell it all. Yeah.

I just, I mean, but he's right around my age range. He's a little old for May. Shut up. Nobody believes you anymore. You don't like young guys. I have a huge range. Like the last person I slept with who is nine years older than May. Yeah.

And then the person before that, the serious relationships have been in people are younger than May. This is like a long-winded, whatever. I'll fuck a 25-year-old is the point of the story. I don't know, though. I don't believe it. You were trying to cite that doctor that was DM. you and you're really 26, he's too young. I don't want to date somebody that's that much younger

than me. I would fuck somebody that's that much younger. If I'm in a bar and I meet somebody, they're like really cute, we're flirting. We hit it off. We go home together. Like, fine, whatever. He wants to, like, fuck a geriatric. Like, he can have me. But, like, I'm not trying to date somebody that age. I'm actually not one with a girlfriend. I know. I just have to to read you this other DM I got. This was this week. This is from this dude. Hey, Ashley, I was scrolling through your picks and found out, I'm really attracted to your long feet. found out. I found out.

Like he discovered that he discovered a foot fetish via your Instagram. Maybe not. Maybe I'm just a big foot fetish. You have long feet. You've very pretty feet. My feet are great looking. They are not even that excessively long. Like sometimes people will like say something.

I wear nine and a half and I'm five, ten. You know, like sometimes I wear nine. Sometimes I wear ten. But they are long and skinny. I have a really high arch. Everything's totally proportionate. They're beautiful. Just like everything else about Ashley.

her feet are amazing. But they're big. Her arches are excellent. Ashley has the most excellent arches. Are you kidding me with these arches? That looks like your feet don't really look like that. This is a perfect foot. You're so self-impressed.

Listen, my arches are very, very excellent. I can see Donald Trump like very, very excellent arches. You know what? I'm just, yeah, I have a good looking feet. I can get it from my mama. Great hands and feet. She took your starter jacket, but she gave you great feet. All right.

On that note, we're sure ready to start. All right, guys. Today in the house studio with us in Dewey, we are really excited. We have an author, podcaster, and quote unquote unofficial, but she's pretty official. Pop culture expert from Be There in Five. We have Kate Kennedy here. She is the author of a book called Twinkle Twinkle, Swinkle, Social Media Star. So we're obviously going to talk about social media and all of your weird fucking behavior out there.

So welcome to the studio. We're so excited to have you. Thank you for having me. Did I do okay introing you? That was perfect. Good. The Twinkle, Twinkle,

social media star title is like tough on its own. I don't know what people think it is. I know. I'm proud of you for getting there. It's a mouthful. It's not like a lullaby guys. It's like a parody for adults,

just a heads. Right. Don't buy it for your children. Yeah, don't buy it for your children. People start Instagram accounts for their babies. Like,

well, yeah, like I make fun of baby influencers. One of the lines is, darling, I'll get you some views. No need to find a scandal. Because while you were in the womb,

I registered your handle. Oh, is it, does it rhyme? Yes. I got little arm chills about that. Maybe I'll have a kid just so I can have a baby. You know there's babies out there that are verified and we're not. I can't even. Does Stormy have an account?

Of course. Oh, yeah. Stormy's wardrobe exceeds my net worth. I don't think any of them do, but the other one, Rob's kid. They start. Dream. Dream. Is Dream verified?

You know, I would think the hotels would have priority. No. I bet you Chris could negotiate a deal. You're absolutely right. cares about dream. I just like, I forget about that. You're right. Nobody cares about it. If I were Penelope, I'd be like, bow down to me.

Like, I am so much better than you. Is Penelope the most important of all the kids? Penelope is an icon. She might be my fashion icon. The best thing is when Courtney hit her in the head with the car door. I was just going to say that that, that like upped her stock. That was so important. And like, Mason's a little too old now.

he's a cute kid, awkward age. Penelope is Scott's best friend. Yeah, Scott's whole Instagram account is only Penelope. I was on it two days ago. Is Mason the OG? Is he the first game? Mason's the OG. Mason's the one she pulled out of herself in the delivery room.

That's right. Yeah, that was like a big TV moment. I still, I remember where I was like on 9-11 and when Courtney Kardashian pulled a baby out of her own womb. I'm more, I just think when she hit her in the head with the car doors. This is my favorite mother moment. They made me want to have a kid. Is that bad?

Like I was like, I think I'd be a funny. mom. They'd be like, well, you're abusive for one. You're like, no, I'm a prankster. There's a different. I'm not a regular mom. I'm a prankster mom. It's a joke. Get it. Yeah. Totally. I think the dream is a little forgotten. Rain is forgotten. People are in know Rain's a girl or a boy. Chicago West. Rough stuff. So anyway, so circle back. Kate is from Chicago. Yes. But I just have to give you a shout out. So I'm a fan of yours. I've been a fan for years. for probably five years. And then you,

did you, I don't know, you DM'd us about our show. Yeah, I started listening to your podcast. Right. And then I, like, obviously, every time I like something, I stock this shit out of what, I'm like, what do they do? What do they like?

What do they know? Like, I need to know everything. And you followed me and I was like, hey girl, like, what's up? What's new? And then we were like, come to our show in Chicago and you came and you like hung out

with us in the green room afterwards. But I was just like, we're like double fan girling because I'm like really, I followed you since you're welcome mat days. So, you're dormant. Oh yeah, I forgot to introduce you as a construction worker contractor.

Yeah. She has a dormant company. I'm in concrete restoration. No. I work in flooring. That is so... People are like, what is this bitch to? I don't understand.

Flooring's so hot right now. No, I, yeah, long story short, I was paralyzed with fear that I was going to burn down my apartment. And I kept forgetting to turn my curling iron off and would, like, go home. It was always off. But like Rachel Green burned down her place with her curling iron like you know you just never know so i um started a business called be there in five like i'll be there in five minutes and it was centered on the welcome mat as a canvas in terms of seeing you on

your way out instead of on your way in and turn off your curling iron turn off your strainer took off got 200,000 likes in a night what painted a few thousand mats the first year quit my job and then i was having trouble with social media and wrote my book okay so you you were like hand doing these uh-huh i still hand do a lot of them what yeah you don't have have like a company that does it? I do. I have a manufacturer now. Okay. But I do like a lot of the custom work and some of the like, yeah, I keep a lot of it in house. Like a lot of the reason it's like more expensive is because it's handmade. And again, I don't want to own a flooring empire. Um, but I love it. It's like I like working with my hands. I like the handmade aspect. So I've kind of like let go a lot

of it kept some of it and like kind of pursued other things on the side. Okay. Yeah. So I want you to talk about all the other things you do. And if you don't mind how old are you, what your relationship status. I'm 31. I'm originally from Virginia. I live in Chicago now via New York and I met my husband here in New York and we're married. That's right. You told the bar. Yeah. We'll get to that. Sorry, but yes. Yeah. So I have lived there for like seven years maybe and yeah. I love it. So you met a man in New York and you married him. That doesn't happen. Well, yeah. Usually you have to go to Chicago and get him and bring him back to Chicago. Doesn't matter. They met here. He lived in New York. He lived in New York. He lived in New York. He was a New York guy. How long had he lived here? He had been here for two years. He worked

on Wall Street. Maybe he just wasn't fully infected. He's from Michigan. Okay. Yeah, but like he went to Wall Street. That, that accelerates your infection. You married a New York finance guy. You're the unicorn. That, they graduated in 2008 in like the height of misery. Everything was like crashing down around them in the recession. He couldn't become like a millionaire. Yeah. His like entire desk was like eliminated. You got him on a low. Yeah. He was just lucky to have someone to. to get a humble banker is a true grab. Yeah, he was a humble that year. If you didn't get your man in 2008, give it up.

Sorry. Sorry, ladies. I actually didn't meet him until 2010. Yeah, but he'd been beaten down pretty quickly. Yeah, yeah. All these girls are out here, like, waiting for, like, the Great Depression to happen to them so they can, like, get a man. The overproduction of durable goods.

I'm excited. Yeah. Did you guys ever go to Mason Dixon? It's a bar. Lower East Side. It sounded like Rivington. It was a country western bar with Mechanical Bowl. No.

That I was frequenting at the, the time because I'm from Virginia and I love like a sweet tea vodka. And back then it wasn't as ubiquitous. So I'd go there and just like watch girls on the bowl because I'm obsessed with how hot chicks think they are on the bowl. Like wearing their best halter top, bootcut jean, a chandelier earring and they're just like, look at me and they're body rolling. I'm obsessed with it. Like hobbies include going watching girls ride me. mechanical balls. I love drunk girls that think they are smoking hot.

It's my favorite. But that's like he started talking to me because I was, my friend and I were creepily layering at these girls. You were watching other girls. He was watching you. Yeah, he was watching, me and this other girl were like going in so hard on these girls. He jokingly was like, are you in line?

Because like clearly we weren't. It's so embarrassing. You're in Manhattan. You're spending your time on the mechanical bowl. In the lower side. It's not like it's in Midtown. Like it's not touristy. I want to go. I want to go for lunch one day.

Like, just speaking of you around the book. The joke is now I'd go to be ironic. Yeah. But, you know, the right page of 23, 24. Yeah. You know, it's like, what's the point? Right. Okay.

So he was like, are you in line? Yeah. And he was joking. Is that what he said? Yes, he was joking. He was like, you look like a fucking bitch. What's up? Yeah.

Exactly. Yeah. He had a clean side part. It bought me a bunlight. It was just true of magic. It was on. But what actually, what happened is that my friend at the time, you know,

Artichoke. pizza. Yeah. Yes, every day I know artichoke pizza. Yeah, we were like obsessed with the like artichoke dip on a pizza that their, they're like signature. And my friend at the time was dating somebody behind the counter, no joke so we could skip the line. No. And he, we were talking about this and he was like, oh my God. Are they still together? No. It ended with a screaming match and he threw the thing of Basil at the like pizza joint at like 2 a.m. They broke up at Artichoke? Yes. It was amazing. And two in the morning, I like peak busyness.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I cannot live. You broke up here. You guys don't understand, like, the line at Arndichoke. It's the shame line. It's too. I'm also like breaking up with somebody at their work.

Oh, right. And he throws basil. A key ingredient. What is better than throwing the dough at her. You know, it's true. Balls up a thing of dough. Like flower bombs are? Right.

They're like, we ran out of basil. He's like, I'm sorry about that, dude. My girlfriend came in. Of all the connections, promoters I've known in my life, that was like the one I benefited from the most because we cut the line every Friday and Saturday. Of all the promoters you've known. You know, like, it's all of the other than you know.

You're like, we know a guy in Artajoke. It's fine. He was literally 19. I would fuck a 19-year-old if I could skip the line at Arndchoke too. He took her out on a date to like, oh, God, it was some like, I don't know. And he was like, I hope I don't get carded because he wanted to like, buy your wine. It was so sad.

How old were they? He was 19. We were like 23. I love your friend. What's her story? She's perfect. She's my best friend. I love her and she's engaged now.

It sounds like something I would do. She should have Arachoke Cater her wedding. Her story is so like, and a girl to mine that like I just, yeah. But. Sorry, anyway. What the fuck are we talking about? Anyway.

No, that honestly, so the point being, we hung out because he came with us too hard to choke because we could cut the line. Gotcha. And then we walked home and then we sat in my hallway till six, Sam because I'm on high alert for a dateline situation and I don't want people in my apartment. What? No. Get the fuck out of here.

Sat in your hallway? What am I going to? He's going to like murder me? Like, no. But if you go in the apartment, he might murder you? Yeah. Somebody asked me this recently. I'm like, yeah.

I mean, the hallway, it's harder to murder somebody. I don't know. You could murder somebody in my hallway. But I feel like if I heard people talking to my hallway until 6 a.m. Yeah. You'd be like, get out of here. Get out of town. But I also wouldn't go into the hallway.

Like, I definitely would know somebody in your hallway. I don't know. And that guy had roommates. And every time my roommates brought home randos, I was like, don't you care about my safety and well-being? Like, who is this person? You had this guy. You're sitting in the hallway. Yeah. When I met my husband, I just was like, I don't know, we were like having fun. But it's so hard to like hook somebody. Yeah. And I was having fun with him. And I thought he was handsome. And like, I had this, you know, when you get a weird vibe like you'd met somebody before? Not to be like weird, but I just was like, he felt comfortable. I felt comfortable. And I did not feel comfortable with a lot of people. And. And. And. And. And. I did not feel comfortable with a lot of people. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And And, yeah, so we, like, just talked for, like, five, six hours. Yeah. So was it easy after that? Do you guys start dating? Yeah. But, like, I mean, we probably weren't serious to, like, a good year and a half, two years

in because I moved to Chicago and then San Francisco. And then without Chicago, without him. Oh, okay. And, yeah, I mean, we, since we've met, we've been together. But when you're that young, you're just kind of like, are we going to grow in parallel or are we going to grow apart? And I feel like that's kind of the thing. is when you're, you meet when you're young, it's not always love at first sight,

but I was like, I don't want to be without him ever. I couldn't really tell anybody what it was going to be. Right. But what I love about our relationship is like, we let it become what it was supposed to be. Not what we were forcing on it. Yeah. And I think like, throughout it, people were maybe like, you know, when are you getting married? What's going on?

What are you doing? And I couldn't really answer them. But like, we just wanted to be together. I mean, well, right. And we kind of wanted to talk about that too. Like, that's so annoying. Right. Like, who cares?

Like the pressure of. as other people's expectations to your relationship, not yours. Right. Also, you were like, probably you were, what, 26 when people started saying that shit to you? It's just like, I'm getting, I'm 26. Like, I don't need to get married right now.

Totally. And I think it's partially age, partially geographic. Like in Amy Schumer's stand-up, she said, like, in New York, if you're 41, you're like, oh, are you a teen bride? Like, relax, don't get married. And I was like, that's so true. Yeah.

And because in Chicago, I think there's like a bit of a middle ground. Like most people I know in Virginia where I'm from are still married, half kids. But yeah, I think like between years four through six, it changed from like, how's work? How's your life? How's Chicago? To like, when are you getting married? When are you getting engaged? And like, it's all anybody like wants to talk to you about all of a sudden.

Who was talking to you about it? Was it like your parents or was people of your generation, your friends? No, not my parents. It was my friends and my boss. one time my boss, after Christmas break, from across the room, we had an open concept office. She held up her hand, looked at me and goes, oh.

And she was like, he didn't put a ring on it for Christmas. No. I'm quitting. In retrospect, I should have said something that it was so inappropriate. And it made me look like pathetic. And it so like it furthers issues in the workplace of like, oh, poor cane, she wants to be engaged, but she's not. The people that are obsessed with being engaged,

like there's probably something else going on there, unless the whole goal is like, really just want to have kids and start a family and I'm not judging there either. But if you're like so obsessed with being engaged, like you're probably a little insecure in your relationship that you need to like lock it down. Like I have so much admiration for people

that are just like, whatever, we're great. Don't worry about it. I just like, it's, I think like friends of people in serious relationships just like, are they happy? Are they doing good? Like, why does it matter what milestone they're at? And I think it gets in people's heads as a problem. and then they will distance themselves or feel like the question is like looming.

And the reality is like some people take time. Some people don't. Like some people just like, I don't know, need time. And I think there's so much advice and stuff is like projection of like stuff your mom told you or like it's stuff that's going on in your own head. Selective about the advice you take. You're projecting your own shit. We got this email from a girl. It's a totally different subject but a long time ago.

And she said that she had her man sleep in different rooms. And her family, like, gives them so much shit about it. Her friends always say, like, this is so bizarre and weird. She's like, but we're happy. Right. And, like, it makes me, like, the most uncomfortable thing is that other people make judgments about me. And, like, I wrote her back and I was like, fuck those people. Yeah.

My parents married 40 years. They sleep in several bedrooms. I mean, it's like mine too. Like, what's wrong with omission? Like, why do people have to know that? Right. I don't know. I think my friends know most things about all my relationships, but like, I didn't ask for your,

just because I'm telling you, doesn't mean I'm asking. Well, that's the trouble. You almost have to weigh it. Like, if I'm going to. to get opinions in judgment, do I just like withhold the information if it's not like adding value to anything? But yeah, it's hard when you want to be like open with your friends. Yeah. I just, it's, there's a weird shift between like here's two and four of your relationship when it's like at the beginning it's like what it could be. It's like everybody loves an impractical love story.

Like is he the one? Is it going to happen? And then it shifts to like everybody telling you how it should be. Like you should live together. You shouldn't live together. You shouldn't live together for over a year. Why buy the cow? Like all of a sudden, every. but it was just like telling me what I should be doing and I couldn't believe it. And since I didn't get engaged like year five, six, I honestly spent about three years fielding questions about my relationship and I just feel very strongly about it. Yeah.

When you guys got engaged, whose idea was it? His. So you did. I feel very strongly that you like can't pressure men into decisions. I feel so strongly about this. My best friend, her mom told her this growing up and I think her mom's like the smartest person. And yeah, she also told her that. I just, I think I really agree with that.

You just, I mean, you can't pressure anybody into a decision. Yeah. I'm such like a steamroller in so many ways, but like that was the one thing I wanted him to have. Yeah. But did you feel like, did you really want to be engaged or were you? Yeah, I totally did. But not, you weren't like freaking out about it. I wasn't freaking out, but like I knew we were at that point and knew it was like looming.

And I, of course I got impatient. We were like in Europe. My parents were there. He'd like tie his shoes. I was like, oh my God. I was like I had manicures. I mean, like I'm normal. Like I wanted to be engaged.

but like what my friends were all like you know shudder get off the pot like it was more of a I feel like a lot of people give ultimatums and it's a lot of like that stuff when I just I'm like I don't want any there's something so important and romantic to me about reaching your own conclusion based on our relationship alone and not because it's something I had to tell you like I would think about that forever like I pressured him into this like it would bother me right like this didn't feel real like it's I think like Charlotte and Trey like yeah 100% she was just like So we should get married. And he was like, all righty.

Right. She was like, I proposed to myself, you know? But honestly, I think a lot of women really push guys into getting married. And like that works for some people. But for me, I just couldn't live with myself feeling like the person was obligated to be there. So let me ask you this because I love that we're sending this message, especially to women that may be like a couple years in. And they're like, why won't you propose already? Like, what do you think?

Again, I think it's great. but traditionally people think that's a long time. So what was his reason for like waiting, quote unquote? I'm making like all the air quotes if you guys can see. All the air quotes. I think we did, we had like our own stuff we wanted to pursue. Yeah.

And he was in business school and working full time. I started a company. We just like had our own lives. And I honestly like think we just needed to be at a place where it was like, this is what we want. And I don't, it's kind of like intangible. But it wasn't anything. like personal to me. I just think like everybody reaches that conclusion in their own time. And it's

really frustrating when you don't have like a map of what that's going to look like. And no, you shouldn't wait around forever. And if you don't have open communication about it, like, no, God, no. I don't by any means mean wait around for a guy and not like, not know where you stand. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Know where you stand. But like, I don't know. I just, it was really special to me to like kind of know it was coming, but not really know specifically. Yeah. And I think for him, he just, I don't know, we were both like pretty ambitious people on our own. And I think like, kind of like, I don't want to have kids till I feel successful. Like I think sometimes people have guardrails for like, I want to do this before this.

Yeah. And I think he wanted to finish school and like, da-da-da, and we were young. And I honestly, like, I've, in my heart of hearts, I didn't care nearly as much as everybody around me did. I believe you. That's what's like so wild. Yeah. I think there's a power in knowing that like our relationship is solid and we are going to be together. and stay together, and I don't need to get engaged tomorrow.

It doesn't change anything. Well, the joke is you get engaged and feel like, when's the wedding? And then you get married and people like, do it when you're having kids? Right. It's like, hold off as long as you can. Being engaged was this like glorious limbo where nobody's asking like very much. It's like, once a wedding, sure. Like, ask me my colors.

I don't have colors. Yeah. Ask me my goodness. I hate that. But no, nobody's bothering you. Blush and bashful. What is that from? I don't know.

What movie? Blush and bashful. I've never heard of it before. I don't know. It's from some like Rom-com-adjacent movie. I'm sure J-Lo is. Jay-Loh is like in a wedding place.

Or like Ann Hathaway and Kate Hotson. Yeah, Bride Wars. We were kind of talking about this whole situation and I want to know, like, what do you feel like you learned throughout this whole marriage pressure engagement situation? I think I learned a lot about like friendships

and kind of, I don't know, I think you live, breathe, die by the advice of your friends for so long. Like, your friends have a much bigger role in your life. I think when you're younger. And not that they don't when you're older, but it's less people. And your own personal,

your free will is like what carries more weight. For sure. Yeah. I know. I keep forgetting. Like you guys, like this was when you were like in your mid-20s. Like,

which is just yeah, kind of crazy. Of course everybody's just like breathing down your neck. Right. I got married in 2017. So like when you were 20 or 29. Yeah. Yeah.

I just think it's like the future goes on. Like women just have so many different past than just being a white thing on there. And especially there's just so, many careers even than like I couldn't even imagine when I was in college existed. Right. Um, that exist today. And so many people have all these paths. And so there's a million other paths you can take and be married by 30 and having three kids by 35 is not the path for everybody all the time. Right. It's not like right or wrong. Just like support people asking that they're happy. Make sure it's all good.

Right. And like I just like when we check up on each other, it should be so much less about why aren't you doing what I'm doing or what I think is right. And more about like how are you what's right for you or what your hope, dreams, fears regrets, tell me everything, and how you're, like, doing against those. Right. And, I mean, also, just, like, let's not forget that, like, it's American culture that has that pressure. Like, my cousin is with a guy, and they live in Amsterdam. They have two children. I mean, she's American, but, like, I don't think they're married. I mean, they've been together, I don't know, they've two children. Like, they're not, I think my best, my best guy from high school, Caleb, he moved to Prague, ended up with a Czech girl, two kids, and then they

went and got married one weekend in Paris. Like, it was just kind of, like, things are different. It doesn't mean anything. It's, this is like an American weird pressure. situation of like you've been oh my god you've been together for two years where's the ring shut up yeah the second you do things to make other people happy is you're the only one that loses yes i actually love that quote i think that that's really great i know i love that i think it's something we all learn a little late like i did i mean you know you want to make your parents and your friends and like everybody happy around you but it's like what do you want i don't we said the other day i actually didn't even stutter at all i just like let's be clear i'm not

me. My cousin, which, I mean, I love my cousin. And like, she's more normal than I am, but she went in wedding dress shopping. My mom was there and her mom was there and there's some other people there. And I was like, fuck if I care what anyone thinks what I'm going to wear. And I told my mom this. I was like, I don't give a fuck what you think about my wedding dress, mom, if I even get married and decide to wear a white dress. And she was like, Ashley, I'm going to be there and so is your Aunt Kathy. She like got mad. She was like, I was like, I know. Oh, we're not doing a whole say-as-the-dress situation. Mom, this is crazy. People bring entire entourage. People bring their dad to the bridal thing. I just can't, I couldn't

tell you, I can't express to you how little I give a fuck of what anybody thinks I would wear on my wedding day. Trying on wedding dresses is literal torture. I tried to, I found mine alone. And then I was like, thank you. I'm going to buy it. And I went bought it secondhand on like, posh mark in Australia. And like, you went alone.

Of course you did. I love it. When I went to look for wedding dresses, I went to David's bridle on my lunch break with my friend Sophia. You know, right. They were like, did you, they were like, and who will you be bringing? And did you make an appointment? I was like, listen, Linda, this won't take long, okay?

I just need you to, like, pull, like, three or four things off the rack. I don't want to look like a fucking birthday cake. Like, I, can you imagine me putting on a dress that I love, that I feel like is the one and anyone saying anything negative, the meltdown I would have? Exactly, because you cannot erase those looks from your mind. And Kathy, leave the room. Like, I can't, I don't care what you think. You know what?

I'm going to be right there with Cindy. and Kathy. Don't piss that you don't want us there. I just jerked. I won't even show people photos on my phone because I showed two people, saw their faces, never forgot them. Thank you.

I already made my decision. I'm like, why am I showing you? It's so true. Also, how fun is it to go with like one of the girlfriend? You're both try on on the ugly dresses. Yeah. It's like a joke.

You're just trying on the ugliest stuff. Just run amok in David's bridle. And to be clear, I know people get sensitive. I'm not knocking it at all. Like I watch, I watch the dress. If you want to have your entourage there,

that's great. It's just not for me. I'm a bitch, you know. I mean, the, the concept of picking out your quote-unquote dream dress and a denominator of dresses I would never wear. My dream dress isn't white. I look like Tilda, like, what's her name in the Ice Queen in Chronicles of Narnia? She's like very pale skin blonde hair.

Like, I look god off. Oh, right. Because you're like fair. I'm so fair. And like, I'm just like, why am I supposed to feel beautiful in this? And I hated everything. I tried on like 80 dresses. Like, it was horrible.

I'm going to wear a red dress that just says the jig is. up. I'm wearing that red jumpsuit from our Chicago show. It was a fierce jump suit. I bought it from Red the Runway. You know, they're like option to buy. I'm like, click, like, yes, I own this now. That it, there it is. I did this. Red slutty jumpsuit. I did that with a sweatshirt the other day and I have so many regrets. You bought it? Yeah, it's very fast. Yeah. Like when you're like, I just want to keep this. I want my four slots open. Wait, can I tell you something about this Chicago show? I don't like get out as much as I used to. And I woke up the next morning from your show and I found my phone in a snowbank outside of home goods. Like, did you get wasted? Yes. And I didn't even mean to.

What? You are the ones doing coke in the bathroom. No, I'm just kidding. Nobody ever invites me. Yeah, seriously. People did a bunch of coke in the bathroom. Seriously. Nobody offered us. That is like one of my, it's like, I don't want me, but like I'd love to be included. Wait, I'm very happy to hear this. People get so lit at our shows. It is crazy. The energy was rowdy. And I was like, and I don't even remember drinking that much. You got roofied by another girl at our show. I don't even know what I was doing.

I like, but you know, it's like kind of like a solo cup does not a glass make. Yeah. It's like you drink like a bottle of wine and think it's one glass. Yeah. I think they had huge pores. Oh, good for them. And I think like I don't even know to be honest. But it's also a thing of like, you wake up and you're like, why am I hungover?

I only had eight drinks. Yeah, eight bottles of wine. Okay, people really were wasted. Your brother was blacked out. I've never seen him that drunk before. He crashed the meet and great twice. Twice. He said goodbye to us and then crashed it twice.

Just completely forgot the second time that he had crashed it. He was like, I can't believe you can't be away in line to me. This is so stupid. He was just like laughing his ass off. Like, okay. There was one girl they had to like, they were like, she's not ready. Like she was so wasted and that they almost thought she was like suspicious because she was like, you know, just wobble.

Her eyes were closed. Like they, I think they like patted her down. I'm like, she's just wasted. I know what this feels like. But we got to the show, there's a restaurant and a bar in the venue. Right. We got to the show, what, two and a half hours before the show? Three hours.

Three hours before the five o'clock. There's people drinking just straight up liquor. Waiting like just. What? We were like, yo, what? Chicago goes crazy. No, it was wild. And that was such a fun crowd.

And they were like so obsessed with you guys. And it was so fun to watch. And I didn't realize it'd get cut up in the hysteria. It was the dancers. They set the tone. They really did. They were good. I think this is a good time to get into the social media stuff.

Okay. Yeah. So I want to ask you, like, what do you love talking about in terms of social media and people's behavior? I have, well, I think that since I met my husband right when online dating was becoming a thing, I'm, like, really obsessed with, like, going through people. Like, I, Apple TV, airplay, like, my sister's Bumble. Oh, my God. We, like, go through it as a family.

Yeah. It's sociological to me. Like, I just want to understand. the psyche of somebody who's like, this is how I want to present myself to my future wife. Right. And it's such garbage. And it's, it's, I'm fascinated with the photos people choose. And I'm fascinated by people that link their Instagram to their dating profile and what their nine blocks says about them. Right. Well, I mean, God bless them that do. Because like that's, do you like, I love it because I can like dig deeper. Yeah. Because I just, I'm kind of at the point where I don't want to waste my time. So if I can get a little more information on you, then that's,

that's good for me. You know, like, I can get a little more information on who you are as a person decide if I really want to, like, spend a night to go out with you. Do you think it gives you more reasons to like... I would never link mine. Let's be clear. Clearly, mine's not linked. I think it's a crazy choice. Yes. It's, it's empirically a crazy choice. Yeah. But it's, I love to have data. Yes. But I mean, also just guys are just so different. You know, like I would say nine out of ten of the guys and I'm talking exclusively about hinge. It's really, I obviously, can link it on their apps, but I only use Hinge. But it's just not much of anything.

Like, you know, guys are just not the typical guy that's not, quote, unquote, influencer dude. It's just like, I don't know, there's a photo from some wedding. Here's a building. You know, they just, there's nothing. You don't even get that much more information. Like, it's more for me, can I see a little bit more of what you look like if I can't totally tell by the pictures? But like, there's guys are just in general, and this date, this goes back to the pictures

they use. They just don't get it and they don't care. Right. Like, the pictures that some of these guys using the profile, I'm like, this is a close-up of the bottom quadrant of your face. Like, this is, who took this? Like, why? Right.

Did you choose this? Right. Car selfie? I can't. I talk about car selfies more than I talked about my own family. Well, I'm looking at that upholstery. Mirror selfie. No one could take a picture of you?

Why is there four other guys in this photo? Why is my looking at this? Who is that girl in your photo? Right. Is this your ex-girlfriend? You think that's like cool or cute or funny? No. Right.

Like group photos. Like, is just like a highlights magazine. Like, I don't want to have to start. search for you, like, why I cannot tell who was in this freaking photo. Yeah. Do you remember the back of those? They were like, you have to spot the thing. Yeah, it was like, oh, where's water?

Everyone, my sister, like, swipes for it. It's just, like, 12 dudes. And I'm like, what are you doing? And who are you? And it needs to be two of the person alone. One of you and a hobby and, like, or you in, like, a pet or something. But not a fish. Not a tiger.

Tiger sanctuaries. All right, maybe fish is fine. No more sedated tigers, guys, seriously. The sedated tiger. I could not. Like, I'm not impressed by your trip to Thailand. And, like, that tigers, this is... That tiger is inhumane.

Yes. Seriously. Have you ever been to a tiger sanctuary? It's one of the worst things you'll ever see in your life. If you could take that and think it was a good memory, then you're a saint. Have you been to a tiger sanctuary? Accidentally. I love, like, the idea of being pretentious about a tiger sanctuary because you've been to

want to know better. As someone who spent time with tiger's sanctuary. Yeah, you're like, you know the good ones. Okay, so what happened is I was in Chiang Mai and I got into the flatbed of this guy's truck. I wanted to go to this temple and he was like, I'll take you. And I was like, this seems safe. So I went and on the way back from this temple alone with this guy in his flatbed truck. He was like, do you want to just go to this other thing?

I'll take you to you too. And I guess like all these tour guides basically are incentivized by all like the elephant's sanctuary and tigers to bring you to them. So he's like, this is fun. I'll just take you here. And yeah, I went there. It's just like tigers like half alive. I don't. It makes me like one of vomit.

But it makes, the photo makes it look like you're like in the wild, like having a great time with this tiger. but really, I don't think it, I think, I don't know, but also we know this. A lot of people don't know that. Like, yeah, they're sedated. It's kind of sad. Right. Elephants are fine, I think. They, like, wash them and you have to do stuff with them.

You know, a lot of them are supposed to be better. Like, you get into the water. You play with them. You get them. Yeah. A lot of them can paint. Oh, yeah, I know. Have you ever seen the painting or the elephant?

For somebody, yeah. In my apartment? I have an elephant. Did he painted? Really? I have an elephant painting that an elephant painted. Of himself. Of an elephant.

A self portrait. Yes. That elephant is like, I hope he turns into like elephant banks just for like your own asset. They can paint anything. They can paint gardens. They can't. And that's like embarrassing because I can't do that. I can't either.

I love that that elephant like painted its own selfie. So, okay, so you don't care. You don't think fish. You think fish are okay. I guess if you fish. Well, okay, I'm from the South. So much fish though. Fish holding up a fish.

Yeah. I think that is so much better than a deer. Oh, are you kidding me? Oh, God. You guys don't see these. You guys don't see these. In Virginia, Tinder is like a cash slaughterhouse. It's like, it's hunting photos.

I'm so serious. I'm not, I guess I don't know why I'm surprised. Like, that's what they do. But I just like, yeah, a lot of people like hunt for sport. And it's like normal. And women like it because it's manly. I don't know.

Like I am so, so not like a gun person. I don't like camo. I don't like any of that. But a lot of people do. Okay. I know. I don't want to send anybody. Well, so you're Jewish.

So you'll understand this. Like Jews don't hunt or change tires or do anything visible at all. like, we would just, Ashley's more Jewish than I am. So, like, what's a sexy quality to you? In a Jew, making money. Oh, okay. Like, if you could just post your 401K. Okay.

So just, like, a CPA, like, gets you going? No, I just want, like, a photo of your bank account statement. Oh, okay. And, like, just assume you're applying for, like, an apartment, all the things that you would submit for that. Personal reference letters. So, like, what kind of hobby would, like, be attractive? Counting money.

Flying private. But, like, rich hobbies are golf and tennis. No, that's not for me. I like, you don't have a type. You don't have, like, physical hobbies, so you don't need a guy that has physical hobbies. I like people that like to travel and do the type of trips that like, like, like, I don't want to lay on a beach. I want to, like, do, like, exploratory trips.

Yeah. I don't want to hike either. Yeah. Ooh, hiking's the pits. I have a small lane that you need to fit in, but when you fit in that lane, I don't, I'm trying, well, let me tell you. I'm trying to think of even what pictures I do like. I'm just critical of everybody.

I hate everybody. I mean, I like, I obviously like a dog. Yes, a dog is good. I'm skiing. I like skiing. I like skiing photos. I wouldn't ski, but I like when other people ski. Yeah, you could operate ski. I get on that train.

Hiking. I like hiking photos. Again, I would never hike, but I like when other people hike. That intimidates me. I'll tell you what I don't like. No shirt off. No, like I don't need, I don't need to see your body. But I think guys appreciate a bikini pick on a girl.

I like bike photos. Girls and guys. I like when girls are on bikes. I think it's really cute. It's not too sporty. But you don't want a guy. You don't want a guy at the, marathon finish line, right?

Yeah, I want somebody who's just maybe like on a leisurely hike. You don't want like an iron man. Yeah. Like, but arms up, like, crossing the finish line or like your run club. I don't want that. No. Raina hates a run club. True love is never making somebody go to a 5K on a Saturday morning.

Like, that's terrible. Although I did sleep with this guy a few times who was part of a run club. And we had sex in like one of the weirdest places I've had sex. Broad daylight on a balcony like overlook like on the flat iron building like overlooking Madison Square Park. like fucked me on a balcony. Was that his apartment? Yeah.

Damn. Finance guy, run club. Yeah, you're like, run all you want. And we kept having sex. It was great.

It was great day. I mean, like, why are you married to this guy? He sounds like a delight. Terrible guy. Jewish New York finance guy. Oh. Yeah.

I don't mind running. I don't mind running. I don't mind running. I don't make it clear because we're shitting on everything. I don't mind a runner. I don't need a, I don't want an iron man guy. Well,

I think he, tough mutter. Tough mutter. He's got his, He's got like a mouth full of mud. That's his pro prologel. Crawling under barbed wire. You know.

Oh, let me ask a question. Volunteer work pictures. Yes. How do we feel about this? Of course. Of course. That's lovely. Of course.

Of course. Why do you want to make fun of this? I think Kate wants to do. I feel it bubbling up in the room. No. I'm going to do it first. I like it. I'm good with it.

I think. Planting a tree. My sense of humor is picking things apart and I don't want to be like too negative. So, you know, I love a soup kitchen. I like this is less about dating profiles and more just like it is interesting when people upload like full like 115 photo albums of their mission trips. It's kind of like you have a lot of like there's a lot of photos. It's a lot. And I'm so happy for the work you're doing.

How did you do work in between all the photos? Yeah. Sometimes it feels a little like that's that gets a little bit weird. but I think if a guy is going period, that speaks volumes. And that's like a really good thing to, yeah. I hear what you're saying. Sometimes it looks like you did this so you could post about on Instagram. At the end of the day, though, it's still long to your work.

You're still helping somebody. That's why I do everything. Of all crimes. Right. Exactly. Go ahead. If you're doing this for the Graham, you're still doing it. So it's fine.

I went and climbed the vessel the other day in New York just for an Instagram photo. What's the vessel? It's a new $200 million project in New York City. It's just a statue and you have to climb. climate, you can't take the elevator. It's, my friend Emily and I were like, we couldn't breathe, I don't exercise. So like, I can't believe my heart didn't give out. It's like climbing Machu Picchu. It's another picture you see a lot of Machu Picchu. For me, above all, I just want to see what you fucking look like. Like, guys are so bad about this. Like, we all know, as a rule, you were only as

attractive as your least attractive photo. So it's just kind of like, can I just see what you look like? I don't have a vibe at all. Right. By these photos you chose. Oh, cool, the back of your head. What? Right. Oh, cool. The close-up of your bottom left corner, your jaw. Cool.

Like, I can't see what you look like. And I think if you haven't dated somebody that takes mirror selfies or regular selfies, you've, like, trouble. I just, like, don't understand that kind of. Like, I don't know a lot of men that take selfies. Right. I mean, I don't know, like, everybody's world is different, but I'm kind of like, why are you doing this?

Like, no, but, like, you have friends? Like, nobody took any photos of you anyway. Yes, there needs to be like some group action. Yeah. I don't know. You've never been to a wedding. I do, I think it, I do understand being like a tougher ask for a man to be like, hey, bro, do you mind taking a photo of me?

Like, it's even a little weird, like, I'm still getting more comfortable with straight up asking people to take solo shots of me. It's very strange. Let's be clear. Yeah. I got to get those likes. But like I, guys, I can understand it being difficult. Oh, yeah.

I don't even know. Yeah, I don't know what to do with my arms. Like, it's difficult. But I think that. I think they just have a lack of content. Yes. As you build your sister, their ex, and they crop them out artfully. And then I'm like, her arm is thin and I hate her.

That arm is face-tuned and I can tell. And it's been smoothed. Right. Her forehead is your sister. She's going to hate me. And if she's your ex, she's going to hate me. I don't know which is worth. So basically nothing.

We don't like Eddie's kidding. Honestly, it's like I'm so hard on these photos because I don't need them. Like, so I just. It must be nice. Must be nice. No, but because my sister's on it and I love my sister so much, I'm just like. I'm just like, I just rage at these guys because I just want the best for her. And I think like we just have too much fun tearing people apart on the Apple TV.

But the reality is people are people. And like it's cute that guys want to try so hard to like make themselves look good. And I get that they're not going to have an optimal five photos. If you're not like, I don't have good, I don't have like head shots and good photos of myself. Like unless I'm in a group photo. It's true. Like we just have a lot of that stuff. I make sure I have that kind of content.

But I also just have to say this that there are people and then. their social media presence, like, can be so different than what they are in person in a good way, as in like, I hate who you are in Instagram, but I really like you as a person. Like, there was a guy I've liked recently that, like, I mean, he makes me cringe on social media. It's hard. It's hard to look at. But he's so hot.

And he's, but like, if I would have seen him on social media, I would have been like, no, absolutely not. He's fucking cheeseball. But, like, I really like him in person. I liked him. Like, I wanted to date him. You know, like, I have a girlfriend that I'm just like, I cannot with her Instagram. but I'm like love her in person. So I do have to say that. I think people, not everybody,

it's not easy for everybody. People don't work professionally in social media like the three of us do. So people just get, they write basic captions and they write stupid stuff, but like it doesn't mean it defines who they are. And like, I've had to be better about that of being like, ew, that's so basic. That's so cheesy or that's not funny. And I'm like, that doesn't mean that's what they're like in person. And I think I need to just be better about that in general, because it happens to me all the time where I really don't like someone's social media persona. and I love them in person. I agree.

I feel like I had such a problem with like influencers just because I associated them with like Bachelor castoffs that, you know, sold like fit teas and just like maximize their presence. And which is fine. But when your entire fame is based off of going on a show for two episodes, it's like annoying for people that are like trying to get there. And but now even I don't care because I've met so many cool people like through Instagram that are like and I'm like, you're just like a person trying to make a person. You're a normal person. And like, so am I. And like, who cares? And not everybody is like, has the gift of being witty with their words.

Right. You know, like, I don't think I'm funny on Instagram. Like, I'm just not. Like, I think I'm a very funny person. My captions are not funny. I don't try and I don't make any effort. Okay. You know?

So I'm saying, like, I'm giving credit to what you're saying. Yeah. Like, I think if you read my captions, you wouldn't be like, this is a funny person. Yeah. Well, we want to also talk about just, like, couples on social media and, like, relationships and things like that. We kind of talked about it a little bit with our very first male guest,

James, crispy shorts, but just like reality, like social media versus reality, you know, and like things that are just like insane that people post with their significant others. Again, like, wish I could do it, but I don't. So it's easy to criticize you. I don't know. I think I hate on it and I'll be totally honest, I probably would.

To the extent, I don't know. Like my general feeling is that the people that like really feel the need to amp up their relationship continuously on social media every post, I think there's a little something going on behind the scenes. that like there's a reason that you need to do it. Once in a while, five. You had a wedding with your significant other and you say

something beautiful about being out of them or you're on a great trip or you just thank them or it's their birthday, whatever. But like, yeah, if it's like all the time, I'm always like, what is going on that you need this validation? There were two couples last year that did that so badly that I was kind of like, I think something's up. And it was Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum and Anna Ferris and Chris Pratt. Both who had broken up.

Both broke up. And they both were like, Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love. Like my husband, like they just were like quoting stuff that was so needless for like Valentine's Day and stuff. And it seemed extra because it's like we already know you're in love. Like we're good.

And I think with celebrity couples, you have to remember like it's not for them. It's for their like persona. Yeah. I mean, I think with people like normal people, it's honestly, you can be like candid and just be like talking good about your spouse. Like that's totally fine. Yeah. But with celebrities, I think it's the biggest red.

flag when they go when they start to gush yeah yeah because i think otherwise they're having fun right and when they stop having fun and something's weird they're like wanting to reassure the public i think so too and i don't i don't think that about everybody i mean i think when you're like really in love like you do that is all you care about that is all you want to post about on social media yeah you know what i mean you kind of like say things that are cutesy or you're not like doing full on like sonnets i would do it yeah of course i would i just think unfortunately like i think people should always know that like social media is not real. I know that, like, everybody should sort of know that.

But, like, I think we paint these pictures of our lives and our relationships as being so amazing and so perfect. And, like, you know, it's all manufactured, all that stuff. Oh, totally. Yeah. I even worry sometimes that, like, I'm so, like, critical because when people either stop posting about other people or overposts about other people on my podcast, I'm like, oh, no, something's going on.

You can tell. But, like, I never post about my own husband. Do you post it all or is he like absent from him? No, he's like always there. He's just like not in frame. No, I mean like, yeah, do you post it all about him though? Or is it just not on brand? No, I love it.

I just like, he's like as a normal person that like has a private normal life and like works. So I just don't want to like drag him into it. Yeah. But he doesn't mind. It's just kind of like I like to separate church and state. Yeah, totally. I'm like he's blocked for my Instagram. What?

Yeah. I don't want him coming home and be like, do you really think people like care about Stormy Webster? Like I don't want to talk about like what I post about all day. You blocked your husband? Yeah. Is that weird? Is that weird? No, it's normal.

No, like we have the best relationship. But like I almost think that like I, when I started to have to use social media like for my business, I had to be so like over the top on it. And for him, a person that doesn't really use it or understand it that much, if I am like not responding and I'm like slammed. all day and I have like a chicklet insta story of like 30 things I said. You know what I just don't want to talk about it at home. That is amazing.

Do you think he has like a Finsta he's following you from? I was just going to ask that. He doesn't care at all. He doesn't care. He's not like into it. Right. And I think that's why it works. And like honestly I block a lot of people.

Because I think that what gets what prevents a lot of entrepreneurs and people like that want to create content, the biggest thing that gets in their head is people that know them. And I love my heart. husband so much, but he's not my target market. So amazing. Do you think your relationship is stronger? Because at the end of the day, he comes home and he has no idea what you did all day. You have something to talk about.

Honestly, I love the separation. I really do. I don't want to live my life where, like, social media is at home. And, like, he's in my videos. And then people are like, where is he? Or what's he up to? Like, I just, I think it's nice to, like, have our life separate from that life. And that life is very much still me. But it's me all day when nobody else is around but tug. boat. Yeah. I love this. Meanwhile, I'm like checking my

story to see if one specific person watched it this entire time. Well, don't get me wrong. I'll make sure his like knee is in it. Yeah. I was still married. So really quickly, because you wrote this in your email and I just wanted to address it that before you met your husband, like every guy cheated on you and they were terrible, right? Oh yeah, yeah. We want to make sure to bring up this terrible time in your life before we transition out of here. You wrote that like you could have easily been like, all men are terrible. This is a pattern, but it wasn't. Oh, yeah. And I love that you like to speak about patterns and stuff like that. Oh yeah. I just that well because I think you know I've been since I'm married it's like

it's not like I forgot about all the like times I was dating and it was like terrible and it seemed thankless and I yeah the five guys I dated before my husband all like were with other people but like told me they didn't want girlfriends and like I mean yeah like one a guy in college like broke up with me said he didn't want a girlfriend. It came back from Christmas break he was dating my sorority sister. They sat in front of me in Econ. And I was just like, this is cool. Like, wow. I know there's a Chick-fil-A on campus, but I didn't realize.

Like, I don't know what's wrong with me. Like, what am I doing? He, like, it was so strange. And then, yeah, I just had, like, such a weird pattern of people, friends owning me or, like, the first guy ever kissed in college, he, like, cried afterward because he missed his high school girlfriend. It was like this, it was horrible. And people would, like...

I wish you guys could see my face. This is so crazy. So it was all bad for you. It was all bad. I have this problem of like I will, I like to have like intense conversations and I felt like I would get into these intense conversations and I get friends owned and like I don't know what about me like makes you want to cry and miss your ex and like that's a tough little swallow. But I like to think it's because you know you can open up to me. I don't know. Because I seem like a nice older like grandma.

So you're the girl that guys would date and go back to their ex. Yes. Truly. I had a guy cry in bed with me one. sex after sex. It's really, really, it's a shot to the ego. Yeah, and it's like, I'm glad you're comfortable around me, but I don't think that's what I'm going for right now.

Yeah, I just saw your dick. I don't really, this is not the place for tears. Right. So, yeah, I just, I had several terrible situations, and, like, right before I met my husband, I, like, found a, it was at Christmas time, and I found a receipt for, like, David Yerman jewelry in this guy's, like, jacket. And it was kind of like, I was out in New York. I was, like,

living my best life. I thought, like, dating was to be different. It was like the exact same. Yeah. And I'm like, you are like stringing me along and you have somebody clearly you like better because we split at the tab at McDonald's last night. Like, you're buying her like jewelry. It was such a shot to the ego. But the point being, it's like it's, it's not personal. It has nothing to do with you. Those patterns don't exist. Like somebody taking a McDonald's on a day, it feels personal. Well, you know, Ardichokel was closed. It's like, it's a late night choice. I can't wait for this to be over. So I could go to Artaichoke.

I mean, stop. Continue what you're saying. I like, love to. what you were saying. No, it was just like the, all you know is your own life, and that's your sample size to project on what dating is and what relationships are. But the reality is it's not an adequate cross-section of every human on the planet in every person's situation. And everything's individualized and it's a numbers game. Like, it's not romantic, but like I honestly think at a point you meet somebody in the timing's right and you get along well and you want the same things and like everything comes together and sometimes it's more spiritual than that but like I just think you kind of have to like keep at it and I think sometimes bringing in the things that have happened to you

in the past makes you a little bit like it would make me react incorrectly to the next guy right because I was over suspicious or like hyper sensitive or whatever and like I was all those things with my now husband but like um he got me yeah like it just was like I did all these all these equations trying to figure out what the right thing was. But then, like, you have chemistry, you don't. You get each other, you don't. It's like, I just felt like understood. Yeah.

And it was a lot less complicated when I didn't have to obsess over the mechanics of how I should be. I like that you don't obsess over the sins of the last person. And, like, I'm very similar where, like, I've had some pretty bad things happen to me in relationships, people I really love. So have you, so is everybody. And just because the last person did it,

doesn't mean the next one did. I'm not afraid to get engaged. because the last person I got engaged to left me so terribly. I lived with somebody who cheated on me all the time. That doesn't mean that I'm afraid to let my other boyfriends go out, you know? And it doesn't mean you didn't validate the other person's fears. Like, I think that's the important part is like for your partner to not be insecure about you, like, having some of those experiences. It's nothing against them, but also you not like projecting somebody else's behavior on them.

Like I think it's totally fair to feel that way, but you can't make somebody else the bad guy before they ever are. Right. Oh, absolutely. Okay. Yeah, I love that. I thought that was really well said. Great. Sadly, Kate has to leave us. I can't believe it. But she's going to leave. We've had a great hour with you, Kate, and we're going to say bye to you. And then guys, stick around because we're going to do a fun new segment. Yeah, it's for introducing something new. But before we do that, Kate, if you could tell me where they can find you, the book, the podcast, your Instagram, everywhere. Yes, you can find me on Instagram at Be There and 5. F IVE, not the number. My podcast is also. So be there in five. Be ThereinFive.com.

Be therein5.com. I mean, if that's like the name, you'll find it, hopefully. Okay. And yeah, this is so much fun. This is a lot of fun. We're really excited that you did this. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much.

Thank you. And I am really excited to introduce a new segment. Yes. We asked you guys for these really long ago. We had this idea. Yeah. Ashley had this idea. And then we were like, what do we do with this?

So we asked you to send us emails of how you knew it was real with your significant other. And we got flooded. And then we never used them. We knew we were going to use them. How did we start that? I don't know. How do we start asking for it? We put on our Instagram story. I know, but did someone send a funny one? I feel like they always are prompted by like a funny listener. Yeah, I feel like all of our segments are probably prompted by your funny things. Okay. But we got hundreds of messages. We got a lot of stuff involving food. Yeah, which I love this because we had Kate on, which, like, I loved her so much. And I feel like a lot of that was revolved around artichoke pizza. so she knew he was the, like, I just am like, there's always food involved.

So we're going to read some of these. Okay. You picked some really funny ones. Okay. Yeah, I have some good ones. Do you have an, how I knew it was real for yourself? Over myself. Okay, yeah.

I thought of one for you. Okay, I have to say this. A lot of the ones we got were about snacks and about being fucking wasted. So I'm going to go take it way back to college. And this is a guy, I talked about him a lot of times. We dated off and on for years long distance. I knew it was real with him. One night, it was the second night we ever hung out.

I got totally blackout drunk, went over to his place. We were making out on his bed. And I think I was like being so just like all, I don't, I can't really remember. Bottom line, I think I rolled off the bed. And then we ended up making out on the floor. And I think I like broke a CD case. Like I was probably just like a beach whale like rolling around on the floor. So drunk.

He had like papers out because it was finals week. Like I probably like knocked over his papers. I was like basically like a tornado. this guy's bedroom to the point where he was like, let's get in the shower. Like he had to like remove me from the, she can't break anything else in the apartment. We go into the shower and we ended up hooking up in the shower and flooded the bathroom. As in like the bathroom, there was water up to our ankles when I walked. Like they didn't get their deposit back.

Like we flooded his apartment. We. Sorry. Hurricane Ashley. They didn't get their deposit back because, I mean, they're about to move out to. This is like graduation week, my senior year at Clemson. So literally ruined this guy's whole bedroom, flooded the apartment. and then he had to drive me home because I had told him I had an 8 a.m. exam the next day.

Had I not told him that earlier in the night, I would have missed my exam. So this guy luckily remembered it, tucked it away, drove me home, put me into my bed. I woke up for this exam the next day, drove to this exam, still drunk, took this exam, still drunk, wet hair from the shower, same alpha from the night before, fucking slutty jeans skirt. Someone had to like hand me a pencil, showed up with nothing, took this, probably got an A. And I went to the pool with my girlfriends later that day. and they were like, someone saw him.

I don't know. I'm going to give him like a name. Tom. My friend, Kat goes, hey, Ashley, I saw Tom coming out of the business building. The building was called Serene on the Clemson campus. I'm like, oh, that's over. They were like, what happened? I'm like, no, you don't even know. Last night, I know it was a fucking disaster. I, like, ruined his bedroom.

I broke a CD case. I was like messing up all his paper piles for studying, flooded the bathroom. It was a whole mess. He had to take me home, put me to bed. And they're like, oh, yeah, that's bad. But I'd say that's over, too. But instead he was like, she's the one. literally called me within five minutes, was like, hey, you want to go hang out the lake?

I want to go jet skiing. We went jet skiing. Yeah, because he wanted to use someone else's body of water and equipment that you couldn't ruin. I literally, he was like, called me. His friend had a jet ski on the close to Clemson. There's a lake. And he was like, do you want to go jet skiing?

I'm like, excuse me? Did you mean to call me? I thought I was never going to hear from this guy again. And he was like, yeah, whatever last time was fine. He was like, I'm ready for the party. Like, I was like, how can you want to date me? How? What did the other girls in his life?

have to do. That was so crazy. They must have been boring. This just sounded like something he wanted to sign up for. Making out this dude rolled off his bed, broke something. He was like, I got to put her in the shower. You really dated yourself with his CD cases there. What's his CD? An MP3 player. His iPod. What about you? Oh, I have like a sweet one. I don't have like, I was dating somebody for about six months. I was like fully in love with him. But like I knew it was like real real. We weren't going to spend Thanksgiving together. It was like our first Thanksgiving as a couple. We weren't going to spend it together. So he called my mom. And, asked her what I like for Thanksgiving, what all of her recipes are.

And he made versions of green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, stuffing, made a turkey, made gravy, had two bottles of wine. I came home. He had made all the dishes two days before Thanksgiving, just so that we can have Thanksgiving together at home. What? Yeah, it was really sweet. No, uh-huh.

Yeah, it was so sweet. Okay, well, just as we said, all the best ones have to do with food and being wasted. Yeah, without further ado. You found some really good ones. you really did a lot of work for this segment. Okay, yes. I just sort of laid around on my back. Ready?

Yes. Okay, I want you to start. Okay, so my how I knew it was real was on my current BF and I started dating. We went out with a couple of my friends. We've been dating for about a week at this point, and my friend kept buying me tequila shots. As the night went on, I got more and more hammered until I finally asked for the keys to his apartment that was around the corner at the time.

He gave me his keys and kept trying to come with me, but I insisted that he stayed and have fun. Well, he came home to me naked and a trail of puke from his bed to his bathroom. It was definitely shocked. I woke up to it all cleaned up and him offering to get me some breakfast will be together for four years in July. Oh my God. I just got chills.

Why is it so romantic to me? He cleaned up the puke. Okay. Awesome. I wouldn't clean up my own puke. He, David dated in a week. And this bitch gets tequila drunk, asked for the keys to his apartment to go throw

up in his apartment. Right. Like she couldn't just done it at her college apartment down the street. He came home. She's naked puke everywhere. and he's like, I love this girl. You know what? She did it right, though. She got naked. And again, he offered to get her breakfast in the morning.

Of course. I love that one so much. I want, it was just one sentence. What? How I knew it was real. He still had sex with me the entire time. I had seven weeks of mono. Okay. So he got motto, clearly.

I think that just means that nothing will stop a man from having sex with you. That's true. That doesn't mean they're loving you. That just means that they are. Disgusting. He's like, I'll take this mono. Yeah, I don't care. Okay, this one's so good. Okay. Okay. My boyfriend and I started dating in college. We kept it pretty casual for the first couple months before we put a label on it, but I knew it was real after a drunken Thursday

night out. We've been trying to get a hold of each other all night, but it just wasn't working. I blacked out and woke up to see I had called him 33 times. No! So cringe. I thought for sure I'd sealed my fate and would be labeled Psycho. Thankfully, he blacked out too, so it wasn't as bad. We both laughed it off and still joke about it occasionally. That's when I knew it was real. P.S. I never called him 33 times again. 33 times.

Can you imagine a time you're like if you've ever called him to be three times in a row? Yeah. Oh my God. I love her. Do you have another one? Yeah, I have another one sentence. This is my bag. All right.

And then I'm going to end on a really sweet one. Okay. Oh, I do have a really sweet one also. But I like the funny ones in between. How I knew it was real. He would take out slash put in my Nuva ring for me. That is sheer intimacy. I've had somebody put a new ring in for May.

Yeah. Thanksgiving dinner guy. He loved me so much. You guys, I'm sorry. There's so many go-ins of these. I'm going to do one more, but I have so many more I want to do. There's one about a body suit. Did you see that one?

Who cares? I want to save the segment. Where am I going? This one's so sweet. My how I knew moment was early in our relationship. I'd say to his place one night and left my dog at my place like 10 minutes away. Well, I woke up really sick, just nauseous and crappy. I told him and said I was going to sleep a little bit longer and then go home to be with my dog.

Well, when I woke up the second time, gone and gotten my dog, made me pancakes in bed. To me, that was the kind of simplest thing. But it showed me how much he cared, not just for me for my dog as well. I'm like, if a guy, to me, even when I'm, if I'm dating somebody and he like wakes up and offers to just even take Dewey out, it like warms my heart.

It's like such a like active service that I love. But the fact that she was sick and he was like, you know what? She wants to be with her dog. I'm going to go get her dog and bring him back. And then the pancakes. What a keeper. Okay. I have one more.

I have one more. I have another one. Okay. I'm a sweet one. Okay. You have a funny one? Do the funny one. Okay.

I knew it was real when we were about a year into dating and he woke me up a little after midnight on a Wednesday night with Chick-fil-A nuggets in my favorite buffalo sauce. He said, I know you fell asleep, but I figured you want nuggets anyway. You can wake me up for Nugs anytime. It's been six years since then and we get Chick-fil-A together every Monday night. We're getting married. Next May. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Chick-fil-A. Yes. Come to Denver. Katie, we'll see you on July. Denver, girl. You and your nugs. Literally, if a guy wakes you up with nuggets, are you kidding me?

Literally, it's like the best. I'll take that over anything. You have chills. You just checked. I did. Chick-fil-Nugs and Chick-fil-A sauce? Her favorite buffalo sauce. Okay, Katie in Denver, we'll see you soon and bring us some nugs.

I love... Nug-life. You introduced me... You introduced me that Nug-Live. I know. I didn't choose the Nug-Life. The Nug-Life chose me. Okay.

All right, one more. One more. Okay, this is a sweet one. I'm really enjoying this game. I knew you would. I just have to wait you out. You're right. You're right.

I was like, I'm not feeling it. I don't want to hear about people's amazing relationships, but I kind of love this now. Okay. My boyfriend and I have been together for six months and dating officially for three. He was visiting me in Iowa from Minneapolis for the last time before you moved to Washington State for a job. That's a lot of information. He said one of the hardest things about moving was not being able to easily come

visit specifically when I was having a hard time at my job. About three months later, I got really bad cold and texted him saying I didn't feel good and was upset about having to miss work. And all I wanted was soup to make my throat feel better. He texted me back, look under your bathroom sink, underneath the boxes of tissues, and then go look in the plastic bag in your pantry behind the paper towels.

Fucking scavenger hunt over here. During his last visit, he had hid emergency and NyQuil under my bathroom sink and ramen noodles in my pantry with a note that said, despite being thousands of miles away from you, I still wanted to be able to take care of you when you need me. No.

I love you when I want to. always be there for you, even if it's only to get you medicine and a pack of ramen. I don't like this game anymore. What? Where are these guys? Ashley and I are fully crying. Why am I crying? It's the NyQuil and the ramen.

Because he left a note. It's so sweet. I know. Like, I just, oh, I remember this one time when I was really, really sick with my ex in 2016. and he didn't do anything. And I called him cry. And I called him crying from the urgent care and said, I'm throwing up blood in the parking lot

of the urgent care on Ponce. I... He was like, I gotta go to work. I was in D.C., my ex, was a dinner with a friend, and he had gone out to dinner also. And I had... If this is never happening in my life,

I had this, like, I turned funny, and I had like a back spasm and I pulled my neck and I could not move. Like, I've never been in pain like that before. Like, you don't always, like, how often you move your neck so you can't move your neck. And I had driven to the place I was at. So I couldn't drive my car home.

I didn't know what to do. So I texted him. We were broken up at the time, by the way, but I was just there. And I had sex with him the day before. So you know, you'd assume that they would help you. Right. You know, you'd think. Anyways, I was there and I was like, I can't move.

I don't know what to do. I might have my car here. So I assumed that he would like take an Uber and drive my car home. And he was like, yeah, I'm at dinner with my sister. So. Okay. I was like, I don't know. What?

what is the logical conclusion I was supposed to divulge it? You're going to come, right? And he's like, yeah, I just can't. I can't make it. This guy's out here leaving notes on ramen. Yeah. Oh my God.

It's so crazy. All right. I think we did one more. Yeah, but I feel like let's end it on. All right, fine, I'll just do this one. We'll see how it goes. I just feel like this is you're going to vibe with this one. Okay.

All right. So I've been dating my boyfriend for a little less than a year. And I thought I knew it was real when we said, I love you, but that does not compare to the love and commitment. That man showed me last weekend when he helped me button my body suit. Let me explain. I'm 5'8. I can rarely find a one-piece body suit that can stretch to the length my torso demands. Grom 510, I feel you. I shimmy into this tight body suit to find that the buttons are sitting at the top of my crack and the top

of my vagina. I was laying on my bed, pulling it down like you pull up your tightest skinny jeans. He comes in and offers to help me button it and still says I look hot as fuck after seeing me suck in everything to fit into this body suit. He's the one. Yes. He's also naked. Right. So you're snacks. Here's the thing. If a man helps you into something like your skinny jeans or your body suit. Or your new vering. Or your new vering. Marry that man. I love this. I like that you made me do this because I was not sure how this is going to go. And I love that love is still alive. Yes. And we shit on men a lot and the terrible things

they do. But why not highlight some of the sweet things they do? And I will say, if a man's natural reaction is to take care of you and you're sick, fucking hold on to them. Because I do not think that comes so naturally to them because they're not naturally nurturer. So men, when they're sick, it is the end of the goddamn world. They get a cold. They're having sniffles and they act like it's the end of the world. They are crazy. So pathetic when they're sick. I've never seen anything like it. They are so weak. It is so pathetic. And they want you to take care of them and wait on the hand and foot. When you get sick, they don't even want to have anything to do with you. So if a man, I do think that if his natural

reaction is to take care of, I mean, oh my gosh, hold on to him. You got to keep her. Oh, I love that we did this. All right. You win. You're right. This is a great idea. Okay. Guys, go to stupidliveshows.com and get tickets for still of you in Portland, Seattle, Denver, Phoenix, Salt Lake City, and Atlantic City, my favorite. Atlantic City, baby. We did it. All right. Lots of more shows coming soon, we promise. Oh, pre-sale code snack heads.

Presale. All that information will be on our website. Stupid Liveshows.com. Yes. Also, Girls Getty Podcast.com. but just go to Superlifshows.com. It's more fun. It's funny. And follow us on everything. Rate review. Nice reviews. Please.

We love you guys. You're so amazing. And we'll see you next. Thanks, guys. Have a good week.