Girls Gotta Eat - WHY IS EVERYONE BREAKING UP (and Exes Resurfacing)?!

Episode Date: October 4, 2021

Shit has been wilder than ever before -- breakups everywhere, exes crawling back, and just general relationship chaos. We are analyzing this in terms of the pandemic, cuffing season, and astrology (with the help of expert and former guest Kara Catrelle), and discussing how to stay sane through it all. We're also sharing our listeners' theories and wild stories. And we're going deep on the recs and get into a social media and mental health discussion stemming from The D'Amelio Show. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Visit our website for live show dates, merchandise, and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Bev: Get 20% off your first Bev wine purchase + free shipping at drinkbev.com/gge or with code GGE at checkout. Helix: Get up to $200 off all mattress orders + 2 free pillows at helixsleep.com/gge. Ritual: Get 10% off your during your first 3 months at ritual.com/gge. HelloFresh: Go to hellofresh.com/gge14 + code GGE14 for up to 14 free meals + free shipping. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So there's a lot going on. This is the last Marchery retrograde of 2021. I think it's going to last until October 18th. It's like a hide your kids, hide your wife. Get your wife's a situation. Welcome back. It's our anniversary.

Not our podcast anniversary. Our friendship anniversary. Yes. October 9th. This week. It was a Monday. I'll never forget the day. It was Monday.

I googled it today. 2017. Four years coming up. I love you more today than I did the day. I didn't really like you the day I met you. I'm kidding. I was like, is she kind of a bitch? Yeah. But I think all good friendships start like that. Some of my best, actually two of my other best friends, Melanie and Emily. I didn't like that when I met them either. But I liked you right away that night. We had the best night. Who doesn't? We'll get it. You know, you're new here. Welcome. This is a comedy podcast about dating sex relationships. I'm Ashley. Hi, I'm Raina. Yeah. So welcome. And, you know, if you're hate listening, we're glad you're glad you're.

too. Thanks for being here too, too, sis. Yeah, right? Money's money. So listen, listen twice. Listen for a time. We're so excited. You guys are here. We have tons of resources for you. This is a good day for you guys to be here. So we have new merch. Oh yeah. I'm wearing some. Ashley, you look so cute. It's so cute. While we're here, tons of assets for you guys are our website. Just phenomenal. GirlsGuttypotties.com. We have every single episode catalogs. If you guys want a certain episode topic, it's there for you. If you want to see press clippings, if you want to see live shows coming up,

that's all there for you. So check it out. And the merch is there as well. you go to shop and we have new merch today. I am so excited. We have this, the sickest you're wearing a tie-dye, like black tie-dye set, sweat set. It's so cute. I love it. And then, okay, Raina, so you can get a hoodie or a crew neck.

Is that what's happening? Rain is in charge of the merch. So I am wearing the crew neck right now. And it's like, it's black. It's like a little gray green. I don't, but the color is amazing. Like it's not just straight like midnight like azole black. And then GGE collegiate lettering and like a light pink.

And then we have a new. You sang that we released to you guys. You've been asking for it. My love language is being right. Yes, and it's in this really cool heart. We have a gray. Gray, like, again, it's got a little like purplish scene to it. It's gray, I guess, whatever.

Rain and I see colors differently. It's a whole thing. Cropped hoodie, which you guys love the cropped hoodies. They are unbelievably soft and we have never done a gray. I'm obsessed with this hoodie. It's got this cool heart. And then, of course, all of our stuff has girls got to eat embroidered somewhere on it, the sleeve of the sweatshirt or by the pocket of the pants.

So yeah, we have a great beanie. The beanie is amazing. You guys know I'm obsessed with Beanie season. I'm very sick. Go Canning him with soup seasons. Beanie season. We have new stickers for you guys. You are obsessed with the stickers.

We have a bunch of new stickers. Throw it in the bag. We have a, my love language is being right. Sticker, the sickest new phone case. I am obsessed with it. We love it. Yeah, it's really so, so nice. Like I've been wanting a new girl's got to eat,

like a phone case that says girls got to eat on it. And so we were just waiting for this drop. and I love this so much. It says it in like script, like in an ombre, Raina loves an umbra. So the phone case is great. We're sending one to this girl

who came to the Austin show with the most busted phone case. She came up on the stage. I was like, girl. And then she had a crazy story from after the show. We'll get to it. But I was like, send me,

we're going to send you a phone case. I did not forget. Yep. And we asked you guys what you wanted. You wanted my love language being right and you wanted more girls got to eat stuff just in general. So we are giving you that.

Everything that was available in the last drop is also there. but then we will slowly start to take stuff off the website. So if you didn't get anything last drop, go ahead, get that. We're going to start to take stuff off the site as it sells out. That's GirlsGadip Podcast.shop. Everything is so sick.

I'm so proud of our merchandise. I love it. Keep getting the stuff, tagging us in the Instagram stories when you get it. Thank you guys for supporting the show, for coming to our live shows, buying the merch, reviewing the show, only five stars on iTunes, everything you guys do to support us, tagging us in your Instagram stories, everything.

Yes, I love you. Share the show with the friend. Today it's just us. This will be a, classic Ashley and Raina special. Also, we know you guys want Azul merch, dog merch. We're on it. We're still kind of unsure what people want. Don't DM us. But we are going to do some stuff. We need to get some like some Azul assets, whatever. We're on it. We know you guys want it. We know you want his teeth. We're trying to figure out what's going to work best. So anyway,

that will be coming soon. You guys can grab tickets to maybe a few left in Minneapolis. Maybe if you left in Boston holiday weekend. Maybe if you left in Shibuant, maybe if you left in Chicago and New York and Cancun maybe. And then that is it. Dallas has some tickets. Oh, Dallas and maybe Houston. Houston has single seats left. And Phoenix, we told you guys we'd give you an update.

They are capping it. If that changes, we'll let you know, but we did check last night. So as of a couple days before the show, it is sold out. It is sold out. So if they open up the capacity restrictions, we'll let you guys know. But I don't think it's going to happen. Yes. And last thing, just thank you guys for coming out to Austin.

We headlined the Moon Tower Comedy Festival. in Austin. We love Austin. That show was so fun, so wild. We did two shows. And we just had such a blast. We got so many amazing messages from you guys, how much you love the shows. And we were just glad to be able to come down there. Again, Texas was like the first shows that we canceled due to COVID. And they were incredible. I have a DM. I have to read you. Okay. Okay. So I just, I love this DM. This girl message me one, one 40 in the morning after the show. Hi, my parents and I had the best time at your Austin show. I was in. I was in, I was in town visiting and mentioned that my favorite podcast was in town doing a show. We had a great,

we have a great relationship and they wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. So while my mom and I were getting drunk at the UT game this morning, this morning, we decided to buy tickets for myself, my mom, and dad. Oh my God. Probably not the best decision to invite him, but whatever, it was his money. I gave them a heads up for what to expect at the show, but I don't think my dad thought he'd be seen a poll dancer, a montage of blank, or a video of blank. I just don't want to give it away. All in one night. They absolutely love the show. And I'm pretty sure my dad winked at my mom when you guys said that guys would be getting a BJ at the end of the night. And she reads gross. Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for putting on an amazing stupid

live show and hope you had a great time in Austin. That is so funny. Her and her mom are at this tailgate drinking mimosa is probably. She's like, let's go to the show. Get dad to buy tickets for us. Like, so my family. This warms my heart up. And I just, you know, our shows traditionally have been all women. It's like such a fun girl. Day now, Bachelor at Party, birthday party, whatever. So to see people want to, like, come with their parents is so funny. That's fucking cool. Yeah. And she mentioned the poll dancer. We just had these incredible dancers from Dance

Austin. And then this one poll performer, she was awesome too. So if you guys are in Austin, you want to take dance classes, check out Dance Austin. They were incredible. It was like mostly guys. Like there was a couple of badass women, of course. Like, we always love to see that. But like, a heavy on the guy dancers, they were all so great. So guys, check out Dance Austin. That's what they're I've been watching their dance all week. They're so good. And they posted it and it's so fantastic.

If you guys don't know, we open most of our shows with dancers. Ashley books the dancers. It's fucking awesome. So in any city that we can, we book really cool dance teams. It's a really hype, really fun way to start the show. And then Austin was a little different because also it's like festival goers. It's not just our audience. So we had a bunch of new people like trickle in.

Like that's who buys the first passes and because we're the headliners. They come. And we had a bunch of new people. I see this guy in the audience. And I start, you know, we do a little. crowdwork only with the guys at the show and this guy kind of like had like a big beard you know yeah that's your type um and so like whatever i was um like kind of flirting with him on stage it was very funny um and i was you know we always asked people like how did you get here what's your relationship

status and he was like i'm a widow and we were like oh sorry to bring him to yeah we'd have him to bring them to him really sorry for your law but it was like really fun to just like joke around with him and he sent me a dm after the show and i always live on a guy sends me something it's not creepy. And he said, hi, the widower from last night's show here. I had no clue what the show was going to be and it was so great. I don't get compliments like that every day. It made my night. Thank you so much. And it just

warms my heart that anybody like who doesn't know anything about our show would come in at 5. And I told that guy that I was like, you're very fuckable. So I mean, of course he liked it. Oh, at the show. Not privately. Not privately. People are like, wait a minute. But publicly. You're like, I just want to double down and tell you that you're fuckable. Also, listen

guys, the shows are explicit. So if you're an end of that, don't come. Don't come. If you're easily offended Don't come. You guys want something more wholesome, go to church, okay? Yeah. And that's it. Or go to church after. I consider this church.

Yeah. Does the Girls' Gatty Church? Come on our show on Saturday night, go to real church on Sunday. Yeah. Repent for your sins. But the shows are great. If you guys came out, thank you so much. We were so amped to come back.

And we are obsessed with Austin. Yeah, we love it. Such a great time there. Yeah. All right. We'll see you guys soon. Yeah. And also, because we're talking about our friendship,

our friendship anniversary today, I did have like one more funny story from Austin. When we were leaving Austin, we were in the car, going to the airport, we had a driver. And I just had a lot of energy. I don't know. I had a couple coffees. I was just chatting here often. Raina was just kind of sitting there like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And Raina just leans back in the car. We're sitting in the back seat of the car. And she was like, do you ever just feel like you don't really feel like talking? And I was like, say no more. I will just not talk to you. Like it was so, I don't feel like this driver was like, really? That's how it is.

And we both, like, busted out laughing. So I was like, okay, she knows we don't like hate each other. It's just like, we had a long weekend of talking. It's not, it's not, I don't want to talk to Ashley. We did two shows the night before. You were just tired. You fell asleep in the car. I'd like wake you up for something.

I do feel like people are always trying to, like, get in there and figure out like, what is our relationship like? And like, do they get along? And it's like, listen, we spend seven days a week together. It was just a funny way to say, don't talk to me. Like, it was very funny to be like, do you ever just feel like you don't feel like talking? And I had to be like, oh, you know what? I get it.

It wasn't like directed at you. Like I genuinely just felt like I didn't know. I didn't want more words to come out of my face. I was done with it. It wasn't directed at you to be like, please shut up. But like it definitely sounded like that. Well then I just hit it off with the driver. And we were like chit chatting.

And I asked Raina was like, have you ever seen that meme that says, have you ever walked away from a social interaction and thought that was not my best work? Every time I get out of a car. And I, and somebody says, have a good flight. And I managed to not say you too.

I'm like, I crushed that interaction. I'm so proud of me. And the last thing, we know you guys want this update on this mystery man that goes to me, week three. No new updates, but more theories have emerged. People think he's a murder. And they think that he just didn't murder me because he met Azul and was like,

I can't do this. Did you get murder prize for him? I did. We took a week off of our true crime podcasting because we had to go do a festival in Austin. So I haven't really thought about this this much. Yeah. So we, yeah, we just wanted to update you. guys that that seems to be everyone is just like, that's a crazy person. That's a, that's a murderer.

I, listen, I feel like this is like a Law and Order S to you, like, episode. I don't hate this theory that he's like a murderer and he like purchased a ticket with somebody else's like credit cards. Like you wouldn't know what his name was. Yeah. And then he like came here for some reason. He's like, I think this is. I think he's just not in anyway. But, you know, I appreciate all you guys really letting us live out our true crime podcast dream. But yeah, so there's nothing updated there. of course, we'll update you guys if something should happen, but sorry to disappoint, but, you know, maybe it's just murder and I got out alive. Unscathed.

Well, I'm glad that you did. Yeah. So, so we have some wrecks. I have been really, like, hitting the TV circuit hard. So I'll just give a couple of us and we are going to, like, really actually get into something. But I watched the Lula Row documentary on Amazon, Lula Rich. We both liked it a lot. They are still around.

Yeah, I Googled it. They have a verified Instagram account. Yeah, they're still a third. thing. What is going on? I think that the reason why MLMs, like, persist, it's hard to take them down. It's hard to prove that they're predatory. You know, people did make money. You know, it's like enter at your own risk. Yeah, I know. I have a lot of thoughts. This isn't going to be an MLM episode. But the stuff that just got me was like the gaslighting in an episode of like, hey, I received these wet dog shit leggings.

And they're like, no, you didn't. Like, it was like unbelievable. But I know. I didn't. You, you were, you would start watching before me. I watched it all. And then I mean, people made money at the beginning of that. Crazy money. So like it wasn't all bad. I do think it gave like a lot of these like women. They said that were like housewives that had educations that wanted to work that couldn't because they were, you know, mothers and they were doing child care at home. It gave them jobs they could do at home and they were making, they're getting paid.

But the whole thing is it's very, they're very like religious patriarchal and they're like you work and then you like retire your husband and it becomes a family business. and my favorite people on the show were that couple. I just love them. The man and the woman, when the man would get on Instagram live and sell all this shit. And she was so,

I love that woman that she was like, I'm doing all the work and he's getting the credit. She said they're in front of her husband. And then her husband was kind of like, you weren't sure if he was all there. And then he piped up and was like the most sinister thing that they do is that they want the woman and her husband to work for this company.

So you're both dependent on this company. Yeah, they hobble you. And that gave me chills. Yeah. So anyway, they were my favorites. I just love their dynamic. I mean, they interviewed some great people for this.

It's really well done. I'm very sensitive about how much I like documentaries and like the format of them, but I thought this was really well done. Did you ever know anybody that was selling those? I didn't know about Lula Row. Oh, that's right. You didn't know about it. I didn't know about it at all.

Yeah, I, um, someone I knew, like, from my hometown got pretty big into it. And I remember seeing it because I was like, these leggings are hideous. But, you know, so my style. Those patterns are disgusting. And a maxy skirt. Like, I mean, it's just, it's not my style. But, you know, but, you know, know if that's your style, that's your style. But like,

I do, so I remember being like, what is going on? And then I would see like people posting like this business, like got these shitty leggings and all this stuff. Kate Kennedy did a deep dive on it. Which is another thing we recommend is all of her like deep dives. And she always does stuff about like MLMs and stuff like that. So she, I think she did a deep dive on Lula Row. So go check out Kate Kennedy's Be There in Five podcast. Yeah, it's great. I mean, I think it's really super interesting. And then the other thing I watched is Britney versus Spears on Netflix. It's the new Britney Spears documentary.

Recently, if you guys are following the news, Britney did beat Spears. So her dusty old dad has been removed as the conservator of her estate, which probably never should have been there in the first place. But yeah, he going. We did it, Dad. We did it, Joe. What did you think? I thought it was interesting. I mean, we kind of talked about this before, but she was this, like, star that was financially supporting her family from a very young age that was just like so overexposed. and of course she went crazy. Like, and crazy isn't like a fair term, you know, but like, of course she had a breakdown and she snapped.

And no one is built to know how to do how to handle these things. No one is supposed to know how to handle fame at this level. It's like really hard and sick. And I think you see like the glitz and the fame and the money and all the excess. But like people are still people and nobody's born knowing how to handle this. So yeah, of course she felt manipulated and she didn't have the education to handle this stuff. I feel so lucky you and I like built a business at a certain age. when we were a little more savvy.

But yeah, I would recommend it. I think it's interesting, but no new news, very sad. It felt like facts only. I mean, they had a lot of like court documents. They had a lot of people on records saying this and that. I mean, of course people can lie. But I don't know, I don't know that I would love any documentary about me that I wasn't involved

in to like set the records. Right. And people are making money off this. I mean, I guess it's the nature of documentaries. But 100%. Yeah. It starts to feel a little exploitative. The sheer number of like documentary. I think there's more coming down the pipe. They're like interviewing all these people that were like photographers and friends with her like 15 years ago and it's like, where did you, what wormhole did you crawl out of? Yeah.

To like, I'm sure you got paid to be in this. Yeah. So I, yeah, I wouldn't love it if my like, my like college boyfriend was doing interviews about me. Like back when I knew her, well, I haven't talked to her in 20 years. Well, fuck you then. Don't talk about me. You don't matter. You guys, I wasn't in college 20 years ago, but you know what I mean. Oh my God. So that leads us to the last track that we'll get into, and that's the DeMilleo show. Yeah, we told you guys to watch it last week. This is turned into like a TV pop culture podcast,

but we have lots to talk about today in terms of like relationships and date. And it's just kind of like the bulk of the episode. So the intro is going to be a little more wreck-heavy. Yeah, we said to watch the Demilio show. I mean, you know, I like stuff about teenagers. We all know this. Like I like high school teenage age stuff, but I also am obsessed with anything about social media.

I will watch anything about social media. and I think about it all the time because our age are the people that lived both lives. You know, we grew up without it. Then we got it. Like, I think we're the luckiest people. You know, I think people that are like, 30 even feels a little young. Like 34, 33 plus. Elder millennials, yeah.

So I think about social media all the time where, you know, I've made a career off of it. At one point now, I mean, we still are dependent on it for some things. So I'm just always very invested. and I just always like analyze how sustainable these things are, how they impact people's lives. You know, I'm very interested in kids that become famous because it's just like not healthy a lot of times.

And speaking to Brittany, you know, things like that. So I obviously was drawn to the show. I obviously we all knew when they got famous. I was, I remember being like, why is this girl so famous? Like, why is Charlie DiMilio so famous? I talk about her and the family with Kate Kennedy the most because she was always posting about her like during the quarantine and stuff. And she was like, I think it's just like a vibe.

Like I think she's just like, she looks pretty normal. She's like this brown hair, brown-eyed pretty girl. She can dance well. It's just like happy kind of vibes. Yeah. She's a sweet kid. I mean, they're kids. You know, and then her sister kind of came along.

Her sister was like the more sassy kind of bitchy one. And I say that in a loving way that like I was more. I'm more like dixie. Yeah. Like she's, you know, she came across kind of bradding and titled in that Vogue video. but like so would I at 19. You know what I mean? Absolutely.

It's like I know the kids now are love. Maybe I was just, we were, were we not all kind of assholes at that age, you know? Thanks the fucking Lord. I know. I was not on the internet at that age. I know. So, um, I don't know. I just, I have like a lot of thoughts.

I mean, I think it ultimately gets pretty dark. You know, I think it's like it starts kind of like a little happy. Well, actually, I don't know. Early on Dixie like has a breakdown. I was like sobbing. You know, we don't even get a lot of hate. It's not a kind of. constant loop and where we are full grown adults, like I can't help but put myself in their shoes

at that age and think of what it would have done to me. And I don't know. Do you feel that way? Yeah, I mean, it's, it's hard to watch. You know, it's the whole tone of it is just sort of like, you know, they have these great lives, but, you know, the, the toll that this takes on your psyche to day in and day out. I mean, if you guys don't know, they have hundreds of millions of followers. Charlie DeMilio is the most followed person on TikTok. So I'm, it, the toll that it takes to just have people tear you down every single day all day. And I know that's the nature of the internet. And plenty of people would say if you don't want fame,

you know, if you don't want that, then you can't have fame, you know? If you don't want that to put yourself out there. But, you know, I would say even more so than them, like, you and I levy opinions every week. We talk about people's relationships. These girls are just dancing and singing. I know, I know. To feel the need to go online and just say something terrible to these people,

you are a garbage person. You are so jealous. I cannot believe it. These are children, you know, like a 17-year-old girl that you just say like, why she's so famous? These are people, they read the comments. You know, it's taken me and actually a lot of years to get to the point where we're like, I don't read comments.

I'm not going to like lean into this negativity. I don't know how I would have handled it at 16 or 17. It's pretty hard to watch. Yeah. Also, I cannot not address this. Like, this is what you signed up for mentality. I'm not saying that you said that. But like, I was saying this other day we were talking about this with a guy friend.

Like, I absolutely will not subscribe to this like you sign up for hate and death threats and insults because you decide to be an influencer. you decide to be famous or whatever. You sign up for a lack of privacy, right? Like, you know, that's just, it does kind of come with the territory. If we're talking about it comes with the territory of fame in whatever capacity,

a little less privacy, people are going to dig in your personal life because, you know, you are putting yourself out there. They want more. You know, you're famous because people want what you're selling. They want a piece of you. So it does come with a bunch of people that are going to be in your business, right?

Every week, you and I lay ourselves out and say, you know, here, feel free to judge this. And we're, yeah, and we're not, I never, famous is like a weird word. I would never use that to describe us, but if other people want to, that's fine. But like, you don't, like, it comes to the territory.

People that say that, I'm just like, fuck you. Nothing should come with the territory of death threats. You should kill yourself. Constant insults. Like, you know, it's just, it isn't fair. And I think that we all deserve to live in a world

where we can just put our content out into the world. And as long as you are well-intentioned, you don't mean to hurt anybody. Right. You shouldn't live in a world where people are like matching that with so much violence. volatility and hate and negativity. People should be able to see what you do, like a dance on TikTok.

Yeah. Go about their lives. And not like it and go, yeah, and go about, like, that's what's a crazy thing. I, like, popped off about this when I did Keynes podcast, actually, about, like, why do you feel the need to say you don't like something? Who cares? Like, we all like and don't like different things. Like, yeah, some people need to be dragged and held accountable, like, our lawmakers.

But, like, not just people, you know what I mean? Like, they're just trying to create content for the world. And at such a young age, like, I don't know how it's. doesn't affect you permanently. But I had said, I just love this quote from Kate. I was like, can you tell me what you said again? She said, further evidence humans aren't meant for a 24-7 feedback loop. People think money and privilege negate your right to have an emotional response and say they can't complain about bullying because they signed up for it. But like, of course, dealing with consistent cruelty is painful. And I don't give a fuck. And if I live in a mansion in LA and have a million

work opportunities, if you have no joy or privacy and think everyone hates you, it's so dark. And the parents are like, we are doing it's best for them and they can quit anytime. But like, you move to L.A., you see this insane workload. You're setting the tone. Your daughter seems so deeply sad. At least Dixie graduated high school and got a full out of lessons. I agree with her. I do think the parents do a pretty good job. Like they're better than a lot of parents. You know, I think my thing was like, what are you supposed to do? Your kid gets famous in high school. Are you supposed to say, no, you can't do these things? And then they resent you forever. And she was like, I agree with you. They're really good about prioritizing their kids mental health.

She was like, it was just this scene with all the binders that threw me for a loop. And I was like, yes. It felt like too much. It's hard to see. It's hard to see 10 steps down the road to like your daughter blows up on TikTok and she's like, I want these opportunities. I should be in LA for them. It would be really fun. And as a parent, I think you can not even have dollar signs in your eyes. Just say, like, I want to support my kid. This seems fun. And, you know, I think it's hard to see the dark side of fame until you're so deeply entrenched in it. You can't see the outside of the tunnel. I don't think that these parents seem best case scenario at least. Well, the thing, a couple things I love. I could talk about this forever. The parents, everybody seems very aware that this, strong family unit is important to keeping everyone healthy. You know what I mean? Like when I was younger,

like when I was 16, 17, I started to kind of be better and not such a dick by the time I was like end of high school. But like 15, 16, like I was still in a like a hate your parents kind of mindset, not hate your parents. Like I always knew I had great parents, but like, oh my God, whatever. Like my parents are embarrassing. Like you don't, I didn't, it took me so many years to realize how lucky I was to have the parents I had. You know what I mean? You just kind of, you're born with these people. You think you just, that's the norm. It takes you a little bit of time to realize like, wow, okay, they're together. They love me. They support me. They're stable. Like, this is not what everybody has. Yeah. And I'm safe and I'm supported. And so I think what I like is that the

girls realize like, we are so lucky to have these parents that are like a stable, what appears to be a stable family. You know, I love that they recognize that. And one thing I said that like, this is the thing I just can't shake. I kept thinking of how literally no one would accuse a boy influencer of like, you're only famous because your younger brother is famous. Like, everybody wants to say Dixie, you're only famous because of Charlie. You would never say that to boys. If some teenage boys were dancing, you'd be like, bring the brother along. We love hot brothers. Like, we love these brothers. Like, oh my God, brothers, brothers. Like, no one, like people, and the thing is so sad is like the double standards and the misogyny. These girls feel it and they see it and they

know that like the things that get said to them don't get said to the boys. And it like breaks my heart and it makes me so mad. And I'm like, at least they're, they're aware and I think they're both really intelligent and, like, I really think they're smart girls. But, like, I hated seeing that because I'm like, it's, it's just, no one does this shit to these boys. No, of course. I mean, men can get away with way more than women can. Yeah. And I think that if anything, like, a takeaway from this, for me, at least, I mean, I don't, I would never troll somebody on the internet. I certainly would never say somebody not nice to a stranger. But there's an episode with all the girls together, the two sisters and, like, other influencers. And they're all talking

about how they have eating disorders and disordered eating. No one actually, you know, I don't want to like diagnose them, but disordered eating. They're all in therapy. They all have like really serious anxiety problems and confidence problems and you're looking at all these girls that you like probably follow on TikTok and you're like, they're so beautiful. Their lives are so fun. And you just like, I mean, it's not a hot take. You never know what's going on in people's lives. Like to drag a person on the internet, you should say to yourself like, why do I feel the need to rip somebody else down? Those people are human beings. Nobody's trained to be famous. It's really like, second and you should think about how your words affect people before you post a public comment,

post an Instagram story and tag somebody and say something shitty about them. Like, if you're doing that, you should self-evaluate immediately. You're projecting and you should go to therapy and you're, you're like a disturbed person. However, a lot of those people, I'm not, I'm not condoning it. They're probably kids too. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like a lot of like kid on kid bullying. They're jealous of their peer or somebody in their age group. You know what I mean? I'm not condoning it. but I'm saying like those people will probably look back in 10 years, be like, oh my God, you know, or maybe not. Or maybe you were born this way and you're a fucking piece of shit.

But you know what I mean? I think hurt people, hurt people. Of course. You know, like, I think that somebody that's going to fire up a social media page and say something terrible to a stranger, you're hurting on the inside. So, like, I guess I have sympathy. I just don't like how you exercise, how you feel. It's not a good way to be.

Get help. I mean, anybody of any age that's doing that kind of thing. You know, I feel like these kids, they just, they get these amazing opportunities to get to live. this cool life, but I don't think there's any substitute for a childhood. You know what I mean? And I know childhood looks a lot different than it did for us. We had like the dream childhood like before social media. I was also ugly then. We didn't know. I didn't know I was ugly. I look back in photos and I'm like, bitch, you ugly. I was showing Ashley like my evolution the other day,

how power those eyebrows? We were bad. I mean, we all had bad eyebrows. We like all tweez the shit out of them and our moms try to stop us. But like it's just I feel for teens that live in this world. I know it's so hard to parent these days. and keep your kids off social media, but you don't want to deprive them, like, I don't know. So I just hope those girls turn out all right. They just seem really smart to me. Like, I, like, watch Charlie D'Ameliot talk.

I'm like, this is a smart kid. Like, she gets it. She's probably a little too smart. You know what I mean? Like, she actually, like, it'd probably be better for her if she wasn't as, like, you know what I mean? Like, she's taking too much in. Like, she's processing a lot.

And I just think these are smart girls. I think they have a good family. They have all these dogs. They rescue dogs. There's so many dogs in the show. I love it so much. I hope it all works out for them. And I, you know, I've felt for them watching the show.

I cried watching it. I mean, they have so many, I'm like, I'm like, girls, you're like not okay. Like get help. Get a week off. You know, take what you need. And, you know, mental health, I think that we all, I mean, I said Ashley, I was like, I just feel like I need a couple days. And she was like, go, you know, take a trip, whatever.

Like, I think we all need to just happen to our own mental health and sort of like just check in with ourselves and see what we need and listen to those voices. You know, if you feel like you need a break, if you feel like you need time off, you need some time to yourself. to those voices. Those are real. Yeah. Well, that was a great wrap up. Before we end to the episode, I just want to say to you, and I wanted to say to earlier. But I really

am excited about our four-year friendship anniversary, and I love you so much. And, like, I like, don't even know who I would be without you. And it's, it's so special to me to, like, have this business with you for so many years. And if you guys don't know about the podcast, we didn't know each other before this. Ashley and I met, we came back to New York.

She'd the idea for the podcast. I don't know. It just took off. I'm so proud of it. I'm so proud of our friendship. And we're family and that we love each other. And I'm so proud of the Gigi family and to this is so much bigger than we are. And so I just, I love you. I'm so glad for the day that we met and it's changed my whole life. I don't know who I'd be without you. I love you too. I know guys, Raina and I listen. You know, we do have ups and downs, but we really like work through this and it's like a real partnership and it's really special. And I'm so grateful that you're so wonderful and loyal and

communicative and just like the best friend I could ever ask for. So, I don't know. I'm just glad that we both always choose to prioritize this friendship. And yeah. So lucky. It is. And it's so funny because we're talking about Mercury being in retrograde and everybody breaking up and all this crazy shit happening. And we're like, we're good. We're better than ever. Yeah. So we are going to get into it, you guys, and what is happening in the world. Everybody's breaking up. But then some people are getting engaged and then like X's are

coming back and it's wild. And we're just really excited to get into it. I'm going to let you, you really like crafted this episode. You did great. We were just like, what is going on? The literal fuck has been happening. I know. So we said it last week. We kind of touched on it.

So many breakups. And if not breakups, couples struggling, communication breakdowns. Just a ton of breakups, though. And a lot of blindsiding breakups. Like, people are just breaking up out of the blue. You know, it's like the woman in a relationship or the other woman or the man or the other man, like all across the board. people are just really breaking up. I was getting pedicures with Rob last night. And he was like,

you keep saying this, but who is it? And I rattled off like so many couples. He was like, damn, okay, you're right. But then, like, people are getting engaged. Like, Francis just got engaged. And then on top of that, people are coming back from the past. Like, X's are resurfacing. Like, everything is just wild. It is wild. On the way into cupping season is like the anti-cuffing season. It's fucking crazy. People think that's why the exes are coming back because the fall air. Uh-huh. So it's crazy. Like even a couple that I really thought would make it that was like super, super solid,

Dale and Claire. We're not laughing at that breakup. Well, we just, you guys like couldn't tell us enough that Dale and Claire broke up. Allegedly, neither of them has spoken on it at this point. Maybe they have.

But like we're recording this. I checked it. They haven't. At this point when this episode comes out, yeah, maybe they have. But we're just getting this from like E-News and page six. But, um,

you know what I think is so crazy is how many people tag me? Yes. They tag me too. Like, what if like I had all these break. up post and someone's just out here tagging this other girl like constantly. I'd be like, what the literal fuck? I mean, we're not going to gossip about people, but like, again, we said Dale was supposed to

come on. And my take on it was they were not in agreement that he could come on this show. So it is a problem. Right. We thought that was a little odd that they hadn't discussed it ahead of time. I don't know anything about their relationship. Or maybe they did. And then she walked it back.

Or maybe he did. Who knows? Yeah. I cut you off. No, it's fine. It seemed like not a super communicative. situation. I don't know if that's their whole relationship. We wish them nothing but the best. We have nothing bad to say about them. I don't know, Claire, and I think Dale's a nice person.

Yeah. But it seemed a little. The situation was odd. You know, it seems like there are a couple that breaks up against back together. We've all been there. It's just not publicly. So it sucks. I mean, I can't even imagine if one of my more serious relationships where we broke up and got back together all the time had been in the public eye. I'm being mortified. They'd be like, these people are crazy. You know what I mean? Like, I like to think about it like that. Like, People are like, oh my God, how embarrassing. You broke up. You got back together. You got engaged. You broke up.

It's like, come on, man. Haven't we all been there? I mean, it's just, it's a little bit young, usually on the younger end. Like, you know, no shade, but that stuff usually happens. You kind of outgrow it a little bit, but maybe not. I, it's never, I am in the minority. It's never really happened to me. I've never gotten back together with an ex.

I've had, I would almost say I'm like fortunate that my breakups have either been really bad or it's been with somebody where we, it is so clear that we are not right for each other that I've never had like, yeah, fucked my exes, but like, I've never gone back together with anybody. But, you know, listen, my first boyfriend I lived with in New York was cheating on me with everything that walked. You can't get back together with that person. And my ex-fiancee left me the day after our engagement party, can't get back together with that person. Right. And you know, and usually, you break up because it's what you're supposed to. You know what I mean? Like, it's usually

we've done episodes of this. Like, it's not, so probably experts that would have been in on their relationship from the beginning would have been like, yeah, this is never going to work. And lo and behold, but who knows, we again, we haven't heard that, heard it from the horse's mouth yet. But you guys, of course, had to tell us about that. I mean, I think what we should do is maybe read off the reasons why our listeners think this is happening, discuss them, and then we're going to drop some astrology knowledge, astrology on you from Carr Cottrell, who was a guest in the show a few weeks back on our dream episode. She's an astrologer and a therapist, and she's incredible. So she sent us some really great information. Yeah. And so there's a lot going on. This is the last

Merchery retrograde of 2021. I think it's going to last until October 18th. It's like hide your kids, hide your wife. It's just like you can't leave your house. It's getting crazy. And also, I mean, of course, like not a hot take. We're going into the fall. It's cuffing season. And I think that like Cuffing season, everybody starts to reevaluate their relationship, whether they're single and they want to be in one, whether they're single and they're thinking about their ex or whether you're with somebody and you're like, okay, holidays are coming up. It's got to get cold. Like, do I, I want to be with this person for the next six months until the next sundress season, as Francis says.

A sundress season. Okay. Well, actually, before we read off all these things that our listeners said, a lot of people brought up the pandemic, as in like the pandemic is ending. And that's why people are breaking up. I don't know. You know, I think we're in the pandemic. If you are familiar with pandemics and viruses and diseases, whatever language you want

to use, the pandemic should become endemic, which means like it's a flu, like the COVID. like COVID will become like a flu. More people should be getting vaccinated. We would be a lot closer to that point where we just kind of live with it, right? So it's never going away. Again, where we should have. Like the common cold. Yeah.

Or the flu more likely where people, yeah, people will die unfortunately, but it's more endemic. So it's weird to me because I felt like we were in more of a, the pandemic is over mindset more at the beginning of the summer. Like this feels a little dark. darker than it was like in the middle of the summer when we were like no more masks. Like everybody had been vaccinated for them, not everybody, but people who were going to be vaccinated

like they should were. And I felt like it felt like the COVID was over in like June, July, right? So then it kind of got worse. So I don't really know that I subscribe to this. I'm not saying that anyone's wrong, but like I think the pandemic is always playing a part on us. I read this thing. There was this Instagram account I found. It was like therapy for women or something. And it said, like, why am I feeling all these feelings now? We've been living with this for so long. And it just had a lot of, like, I think we never really know how we're being affected by this because we never lived like this before.

So my mom said some, my mom's a therapist. If you guys don't know that she's a psychologist. And she said to me during the height of the pandemic that none of us will really understand the effect this has on us until it's over. So when you're going through trauma, you put your head down, you deal with trauma, you go through it. And none of us will truly understand the fallout from this until it's over. And I don't think it's over.

but I agree with you and I co-sign what you said sort of, which is that it felt like the restraints of the pandemic, of not being able to go out, not be able to travel, comedy didn't exist, theater didn't exist, eating in restaurants. That sort of started to like Peter Al in June to me. And I do think that like I could see relationships ending then. That's what I thought. I agree with you.

You would have been like, I'm dumping this dead weight. I'm going to get out there. I'm vaccinated. And you're like, it seems to me like I would have seen more of the great breakup as someone called it, which I love what someone said. We'll get to it. but like in June, I would have seen that. This is a little weird to me, but then sometimes people don't have the like,

I'm going to be a slut this summer mindset. But then some people are more like, no, I want to partner for the summer because you do all this fun stuff. So sometimes people, like you'd think people would be wanting to get out there more in the summer. But in fact, they're like, no, summer is kind of light. It's time to just have fun with this person I'm already with, go on the boats, go to the parties. Like, I'm just going to have this kind of casual fun partner. and now it now it starts to feel more serious because we're in the fall. It's getting dark earlier.

It's cold out. I don't know. I think that it could be sort of that, you know, not that like I want to shed this dead weight, but, you know, I had this person that I went through this really traumatic event with and you feel really bonded to them. And it takes a while to shed that sometimes. You know, I don't think necessarily like the world opened up in June and every single person was going to be like, this is it.

It's over for me. I think it does sort of take a while to go, like, it's, sort of almost like when a parent dies, and I hear a lot of people say, well, they were with me when my parent died. And you went through this traumatic event and you feel a real kindred, like, a real, I don't know what the word is. You feel a real connection to somebody that went through trauma with you and helped you through it. And I think a lot of people were like, I went through the pandemic with this person. And now we get up all this fun together. And then it's fun and it's light.

And you spend a few months. And sometimes it just takes a while to realize, like, I don't want this relationship in the real world. Yeah. You know, it's the same. It's sex and city. Smith stay with me through cancer. Yeah, right. And you're like, you just compared Smiths to cancer.

Right. You know, like you compared your partner to the pandemic. Yeah, right. I think that maybe it just takes people a little more time. You know, something, you're totally right. Like, you know, people went through the pandemic, but then they had a bunch of months of fun and it was like a blast. And now it's like, all right, we're going to have a real relationship in the real world?

Is this going to, like, stand the test of time? Like, all right, now that we like have weddings and holidays and we can go to everywhere in the world, like, can I travel with you? I don't know. So I think that people are starting to realize maybe, maybe no. Yeah, or it could just straight be all this astrology stuff, which we're going to get to, because, I mean, stuff is going crazy. But let's just read through some of the things people said.

We asked, like, aside from the planets and Mercury and Retrograde and all the stuff, what do you guys think it is? And I'll just go through a couple of your answers. We crowdsource this on Instagram. Women, realizing men ain't shit. People need an emotional support through COVID. And now they know what they want or don't want in life. Winner is always a test for couples because what are you going to do?

do when the sun sets it for. Someone wrote, because men are cheaters and liars, breaking up before the holidays. That's not how to take. People say that all the time. Like, you don't want to spend the holidays with somebody if you're not serious about them. And grocery store Joe setting the bar too high, which is Bachelor in Paradise, which I'm not going to get into that because, you know, like Team Kendall. Well, whatever. I won Joe to be happy. I want Serena. I just, you know, of course we're Team Kendall. We had her in the show. I think she's a sweet woman. I can't speak on it because I don't watch Bachelor in Paradise. I'm sorry, but I love Kendall. Yeah.

Okay, so Hot Girl Summer is ending and soup season is here. We don't want to share. We don't want to share our soup. I make too much soup, okay? I could have six boyfriends if it's just about soup season. Like the great resignation this summer from corporate America, the great breakup for fall. That's what I said. Like the great resignation.

That was like a thing. This is like the great breakup. I do sort of like subscribe to this a little bit in the sense of like I think that again now that the pandemic is becoming like you said endemic. Not that I mean it isn't, but hopefully it will be. I think that people have really re-evaluated their lives and there are tons of people that, I mean, that's why the hospitality industry can't get anybody

because people are like, I realize I don't want to do that anymore. You know, people in corporate America are like, I don't want to do that. I think a lot of people are like, I realize I don't want to need anybody. Yeah, I don't need somebody or I don't need this type of dead weight or like you and I talk about this all the time. Like I don't need emotional support from a partner.

I have emotional support from friends and family and I have money and a great job and all this stuff, whatever. So yeah, that could absolutely be happening. summer is ending and it's back to regular life, just like you said. A lot of really fun stuff is just sort of petering out. And for young people going off slash back to college, they listen to your podcast and you're like, yeah, let me dump him. He ate shit.

Thank you guys. And people are dumping their summer flangs. You want to round it out? Yes. And then someone wrote, we're all under a lot of pressure and reach the point we're not taking anyone's shit. Someone wrote Clarendale broke up. That's all they wrote Clarendale broke up.

Okay. So I'm going to read this information we got from Kara Ketrell, who was on the show recently on our dream episode. Like we mentioned before, she specializes in Jungian analytic psychotherapy, astrology, terror, relationship coaching. She's just the expert on this stuff. And I messaged her and I'm like, you know, things are going crazy. We know Mercury is going into retrograde. This is a couple days ago. But it seems like excessive, right?

It seems like this is just kind of like shit is off like the hinges. I mean, couple I never thought would break up. couples I never thought we'd get engaged. Yeah. It is wild this shit that is happening. Yeah. So she gave us an astrology report for 10-4. Okay.

Which is just amazing. Yeah, you guys check her out. Listen to an episode if you haven't already. So this is an astrology official report for today, the day the episode comes out, 10-4, 2021 from Kara Katrell, Jungian, Jungian. Jungian therapist and Vedic. Vedic? Am I okay today?

Astrologer. Okay. She says, we are currently experiencing the intense effects of eight retrograde planets, including the nodes, which are always retrograde. I looked up the nodes. Nodes are the points in the sky where the moon and sun cross pass. Actually, you're so funny. I looked up the nodes. Well, because people are like, what's a node? There's two. There's south and north. So Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto, and Mercury will be direct by mid-October. However, retrogrades offer a redo from the past, forcing us to reconsider, review, renegotiate, and redo the carmas of the zodiac signs in which they are transitioning. At this time, you might be noticing a lot of breakups, shakeups, and the rekindling of familiarity and love from our past. Oh my God.

Desires are strong. The North Node has been transiting Venus ruled Taurus since September 2020, which is all about the nostalgic past, family, stability, tradition, roots, financial and emotional security. Rahoo, the North Node, creates obsessions to manifest what lives in our unconscious mind. So tourist themes may be presenting in your dreams and even your waking life. In addition, Venus is transitioning through sidereal, which means of the stars, I looked it up, Ciderial Scorpio joining up with the South Node through the end of the month. This could bring a secret encounter that feels like we've shagged before. She probably doesn't want to say fuck.

I love her. This could bring a secret encounter that feels like we fucked before. Those are my words. It may only happen in your dreams, but it could also manifest into waking life depending on your individual birth chart. Mercury, the planet of communication, commerce, and intellect just left sidereal. Ciderial, Libra, and is now retrograding through Cedereal Virgo. When Mercury briefly retrogated through Libra, you may have experienced a communication breakdown with a loved one. So I think that's like what just happened.

Mercury is exalted in Virgo now and ideally wants to analyze and understand why it all happened in an effort to gain some clarity and discernment out of the process. It's where we effectively problem solve our way out of complex issues. However, when it's in retrograde motion, which is until mid-October, our ability to reason and problem-solving gets confusing. Pair that up with Venus transiting through intense Scorpio and we may find ourselves in a secretive and passionate rendezvous despite Mercury's attempt at reasoning. This can result in a battle between the head and the pelvis.

The pussy and the brain. Oh, my God. The current planetary intensity in the sky creates drama in our psyches. 2021 has not been a normal year by any means. Most, many of us will experience the strong desire for reconciliation and reunion back to a time when we felt safe and secure. Interesting. Chances are you've been keeping a secret

about a past love or desire either consciously or unconsciously. This is wild. There will be some resolved by mid-October when four planets go direct and where we enter a bit of a paradox, realizing things are finally moving forward while simultaneously recreating feelings of comfort

from the past. I'm almost done, guys. Later in the year, Mars will break down the door in Scorpio-fueling keto's desire to expose everything, even if it's just to you, causing a crisis that leaves deep, emotional scars. By the time keto is finished with us in March of 2022, we will be Phoenix's rising out of the ashes. Ideally, the stability and security that Rahoo created in Taurus anchors

at Phoenix so it doesn't fly away to its detriment. Oh, and make sure you have a good fire extinguisher handy because it's going to get hot in here. Kara, go up. And then she closes with remember a little compassion for yourself and others can go a long way. Kara. What do you take from that? If you're into astrology, like this is what's going on and this is why everything seems so crazy. I mean, the first time I heard about Mercury and Retrograde, everything around me was like breaking and failing communication-wise. Like, I remember like, whenever this was a few years back, like my computer broke and just things kept going wrong like all at once. And someone said this term to me. And I was like, oh, wow, okay. And it does feel like that. I don't think we

manifest this because I don't even know when it's happening, but all of a sudden stuff will start to go crazy and then I'll check. Like, I don't know when it's coming. So I'm not like manifesting it because I don't keep up with this shit. So I just noticed that everything goes fucking bananas and then someone's like, well, Mercury is a retrograde or whatever, but this sounds like a bunch of other stuff. This sounds like a perfect storm of crazy stuff happening. A perfect planet storm? Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I don't, I mean, you know that I don't necessarily subscribe to this. However, I mean, whatever, I've said this a million times, every time we have somebody like this on our show, whether it's Kelly Knight, whether it is Mr. Michaela, whether it's Caracetra. I feel like more married to this information when it's explained to me by somebody who I, like, really respect who I think is great at their job. and it just becomes more real to me.

And I, like, cannot fight the fact that, like, every single thing is just so wild and off the rails right now. And I'm just a huge believer in energy in general. And, like, that comes from, like, the world around us and, like, stuff that's, like, energetically shifted and, like, what we put out into the world. And, like, I think we're all part of, like, a collective energy. And, well, you know, you get what you give. And so this does kind of seem that all this stuff is happening. It's just kind of, like, a domino effect almost. But the stuff is crazy about people coming back.

I mean, I lightly mentioned this, but I just had a very crazy thing of somebody that I never expected to come back in my life. Like, not in a like, I love this person way. It was a more casual relationship, but from over two years ago was last time I spoke to this person. And he sent me like a long message, like, wants to get together. And like felt very like, I want to talk. I need to talk to you. Things didn't end well. And I'm like, I haven't thought about this in so long.

It shook me so hard this person reached out to you because. I just, there's no reason for him to have, you know, like, it just, it feels like why now, you know, and this wasn't somebody that you had, like, a really, really serious relationship with that should want to, like, bury the hatchet with you years later. But, like, it is wild that he reached out, that he thought of you, that he wants to do that. And I don't, you had another person who you and I no longer have in our life also reach out to you, which was also really fucking crazy. Yeah. Who we haven't talked to in years. And then this, and then this other guy who just, it was a brief moment in time reached out and was like, well, I'd love to get drinks.

I mean, just stuff was, I was like, what is going on? Like, you can't even keep up sometimes. We're going to read some of these stories from you guys that are just totally insane. But I don't know. I mean, I think it's like, what can I do? Like, the only thing you can do is like try to keep yourself grounded. You know, like communicate well, compassion, compassion, compassion, and just like realize kind of what's happening in the world in the, in the planets, in the stars.

and like could be affecting your ability to communicate. So all you can do is like, I'm going to try to effectively communicate as honestly and openly as possible and hope to get the same in return, you know? I love that she ended that with saying just, you know, have patience for yourself. And, you know, we say it all the time. Just listen to your gut, listen to what you want.

If something feels wrong, it probably is. You know, we always say make a list, make a pros and cons list. I've been lately, I've been just sort of like free association, just typing on my computer. I'll do like a word doc and I'll just type it all out. And sometimes I'll just delete it when I'm done. with it. I don't necessarily want anybody to find it, but it's really helped me recently

to sort of sort through some of own things, some things that I've been going through and just to just sit down with like a glass of wine and just free association rate every single thing that you're thinking on a word doc on your computer or hand-write it. Kara suggests that you hand-write things. Just listen to yourself, take what you need, and when Xs keep crawling back in, I read this thing

recently and I was like, oh, that's like so true. Like, if you're thinking about like letting an X back into your life that was like really toxic, this metaphor I love, this guy says, said you wouldn't, if you were thirsty, you wouldn't drink poison. So I was like, oh, okay. So like, just because you're lonely, just because you miss companionship, doesn't mean that you should let somebody who's toxic back into your life.

You know, there's certain people that are no longer in my life and there's a reason for that. And just because somebody's no longer in my life doesn't mean that I hate them or that I have ill will towards them or I want anything bad for them. It just sort of means, like, I've read the story and I know what's like inside of your book and I'm not interested in it, you know? I don't have to hate you. I don't have to like harbor resentment or be mad at you. But I also like I know who you are and I don't fuck with you.

And that doesn't make you like petty or small. You don't have to get over things. Somebody shows you their true colors. You can just move on from it. Right. I have so much to say based on just the last few things you said. Oh my God. Yeah.

However, okay. If someone who you don't have feelings for comes back around and you want to hear him out because you better believe I'm meeting up with this guy. I'm not talking about another guy. I mean, but like right, right, right. But I'm just saying like, yes, exactly, right. I made a great point. But like, if you have somebody that you know has no ability to really affect you an emotional way,

like, I'm going to sit down for coffee with this way. I got to know. But this other person was like a friend that crawled back into our life that I just, I don't wish him ill will. Yep. He didn't hurt me or do anything terrible. It's just like, I don't really fuck with you anymore. And I can just like go about my life and be fine, not fucking with you.

Yeah. You know? And I would think, too, that if we look at every beginning of, fall is when these exes come. I think it's kind of, 2020 was weird. Like, 2020, deeper into the fall started to get really bad again. Like, it started to spike. We didn't have the vaccine, stuff like that. So I kind of take 2020 out of it is what I'm saying. So, but if we were to look back at like 2019, 2018, we would probably remember that we did have these guys crawl back in because like the, you know, starts to get a little chillier. Coughing season is a real thing. It makes people feel a certain type of way.

Summer's over. Like, it's when people do start to hit up their exes. So that just kind of all lines. But like, going with all the breakups and stuff is just so nuts. And the free association thing you said, people use different words for that. My best friend Kate does it. She calls them morning pages. I think a lot of people, that's like a term morning pages. Yeah, she told me that. Yeah. So it's, and I'm trying to get more into it. I'm just, I'm working on my sleep first. I've made some progress this week. So I don't wake up feeling like I'm behind and I'm, you know, I slept too late and I, you know, I went to bed too late. I slept too late. I said like that. So I love her, her doing that, you doing that. Maybe it sounds like you do it more at night. But anytime, like I think,

think getting stuff on paper, whether you're on your laptop or your handwriting it in a journal or whatever is so important. So that might be a great time to do this because some of my stuff will come out that you didn't even know you were thinking. Yeah. And also, like, yes, I have been enjoying a but like not a hot take. Like when I am really miserable and really unhappy, I'm not really miserable and happy when I am. I tend to just sort of like close off and I don't want to talk to people, but I know the thing that will make me feel better is talking to people. And I love telling you how I'm feeling because you always like mirror a different perspective to me. Like I might be really angry about something and you're like okay but reyna like what about xyz things and you always help me to

sort of like see a different side of things so you know don't close off from people this isn't a mental health episode but i mean every episode kind of i mean we kind of started that with that in the intro too yeah and people have i mean people message us all the time like should i end my relationship should i leave my relationship how i think that it always is nice to just take a beat and write how you're feeling and talk to friends about it there's no shame you just because a breakup is imminent it doesn't mean you failed at anything and also couples go through ups and sales so maybe you're looking to break up with somebody and it just requires a little therapy. I don't know, but talk to somebody. Right. I saw this thing and I mentioned it earlier, but now I just do feel like it's more

relevant as we're like going through some of this more like mental health, self-care kind of stuff. I saw this and I saw people reposted and again, this, this episode, this Instagram account is called Therapy for Women. Maybe it's someone we would have in the show, researcher a little bit more, but she wrote a few things out and she said, this was three days ago. So this was like in September, you're not crazy. This phase of the pandemic is really hard for our brains. Researchers are calling this pandemic flux syndrome, it's really negatively impacting our mental health. Why? I'll explain. Our brains love predictability. According to research, most of us would rather be in worse conditions, but for a finite amount of time than be an unpredictable but better conditions, which is interesting.

Again, not everybody's wired like this. After being in the pandemic for 18 months, we are exhausted. We have depleted our surge capacity, which essentially is our fight, flight, freeze response that allows us to survive short-term crises. Your brain is quite literally not designed to live in a state of emergency long term. It's difficult to rest, recoup, and also process the loss and grief of the pandemic when it is still ongoing. Your brain is also not good at predicting what will make you happy. So many of us expected we would feel significantly better than we do having some restrictions lifted. Those of us that are more prone to anxiety are likely to want to cope by instituting a major life change. Moving across the country, getting a new job. That could be a breakup too,

where those of us prone to depression want to retreat and not engage in the world. It says instead, try this. Practice opposite action. Understand what you're tendency is first, set boundaries, limit the amount of info you take in, focus on the things you can control and plan small things that you can do. Stop waiting for the pandemic to end. It's unlikely there will be an official ending anytime soon. Remember, you are resilient and try to start living your life in this new normal. So I just thought that was interesting because I think some people may be that are having a lot of anxiety and depression perhaps or stuff's going on. They're like, why do I feel like this? Because we've been living in this for so long. Like,

shouldn't I be more normal? And like that kind of explains why. I love that things are still unpredictable. Yeah, I love that she also said, like, your brain is not built to live in a state of constant trauma, especially people that have never lived in it. You know, there's plenty of people that have been in therapy for years that suffer from anxiety and trauma and are almost like maybe more used to it. Not that that's a good thing. That's a horrible thing. My heart goes out to you.

But there's also plenty of people that have never experienced trauma or anxiety in their life, and they're like, I don't know how to fold this into my life and deal with this. And both of those things, I don't envy, you know, but we're all just sort of going through it. And I agree, like, just because it's quote unquote ending, like doesn't mean you should feel better. Like, we've all been through this. Now we've got to deal with what we've been through. Yeah. For sure. So it's, it's tough. I just think you've got to like listen to your heart. If you need some time off, take it. You know, if you need to take a quick trip, you know, just express to people we want. We had a great episode with Ndra Twab about boundaries. And if you feel

like you need a boundary from work, especially, or a friend or whatever, draw it. Draw it in a comfortable way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You talked about that a lot on that episode. Yeah. I mean, I can't speak on taking a social. media break. Maybe I should, but like I saw someone doing that the other day. I don't really, I don't like when people announce their social media breaks. But if you feel like you need to do that, you should. You know, if you're like somebody that people rely on you for content, I do understand it more, but just a regular person, like, no one cares. But anyway, um, Chrissy Teagan, no. I saw someone that was like, I used to need to use this for my work and I don't really need to

at this point in time. So I'm going to like shut this down for like a month or so or however long. I was like, good. I mean, see how you feel after that, you know? I remember. like during the pandemic, actually, I took a trip down to Miami just for some like mental health just to get out of New York, you know? And I didn't post on Instagram for maybe like a whole week

and it felt so good. Like it was the best feeling to like not feel like I had to be like, here's this beach I'm on, here's this coffee I'm drinking this morning, here's this meal I had. Like it was really, whatever. Like I keep him like,

it's not hot take, but like it was fine. It was nice to not have to like brag on Instagram of what you were doing. Yeah. Or see what other people are doing. Yeah. That's a lot of it too.

like the comparison stuff. Yeah. We talked about that. Actually, we have almost 30 coming up next week or the week after. Coming up soon the next couple weeks. Krista talked about like the comparison stuff. Oh yeah. You know, how it gets into your brain and can deteriorate or mental health and the comparison being

the thief of joy, which I love that conversation. So we're going to talk about that in a couple weeks. Yeah, we're excited to have them on. Okay. Should we read some of these stories? Yeah. So we asked you guys like, do you have any like what the fuck is going on stories? and we want you guys to all just sort of feel like

you're in really good company if this is happening to you too and people submitted some really funny stuff about exes coming back and breakups and things like that so we'll just breathe them to you and we will make you laugh and if you guys have stories for us if you're coming to live shows if we ever asked for anything the email address is stories at girls got eat podcast.com

and just make sure to put in the subject line either what show you're coming to or what this is about but thank you as always for your submissions yes okay this one I'm going to start with this one is wild The title is so fun. I made that title. Oh, you did?

I just titled them all to keep them separate. I did that too. I titled this one men are out of control. My titles are always one word and it's just like butthole. Yeah. Prostitute. Yeah. Okay.

She says, listing this week's pod and you are spot on. So last week, relationships are literally burning to the ground. Exhibit A. My friend who was in residency just had her wedding and she invited her co-residents to join. They all showed up and were. 100% stereotypical pros. It's a thing in her specialty and really turned up, kept the party

going, which was great. However, one of them went totally off the rails shortly after the ceremony. He had brought his live-in girlfriend of several years to the wedding. Live-in years-long girlfriend. To the wedding.

Mid-reception, he dumped her at the wedding. He then... This is it. Met her trash. He then went even more psycho and called the girl he's been fucking in the call rooms at work and invited her to literally come to this wedding where he just dropped his girlfriend. Also they had a dog together. This other girl shows up and the two of them are hot and heavy on the dance floor for the rest of the night.

This poor ex-girlfriend witnessed her former man literally making out with this co-worker in the middle of YMCA. If this is not the most pure sign that men are trash, I don't know what it is. I like need more information. Honestly, like, I mean, I think if this is how it happened, how it happened, this is really mean and crazy. And really sick and honestly, good for you. You dodged a bullet. That is a horrible person.

So my heart goes out to you. I hope she gets the dog. I just, I'm like, I'm confused because like, it's odd to me that that girl would come to the wedding. And, like, what story did he sell that girl that, like, even if I'm having a fair with somebody, I'm not showing up in front of your friends and family. Like that's wild. I'm like, I need more information. I do. I need more information. Like, what went down here? Like, I do believe that most people, I mean, we joke them out of trash.

But like, I believe that most people are not trash. And most people aren't terrible. And like, I don't, I'm not saying this a lie, but like, what happened here? This also seems like revengey, you know, like, who knows what happened. But did, did the girlfriend, the original girlfriend, do something crazy? Because why? Otherwise, like, you are just a terrible person. But the feels like I'm going to get back at you for something. It feels mean, for no reason. Yeah. I mean, yeah, some people do things that are mean to for no reason, but I don't know. I don't know why he would do that. I don't know why the other girl would show up. Like,

it feels really nuts to me that that girl would show up. Why would she show up? It's crazy. Yeah. So, we're so sorry that that happened. I know. That's wild. Surgical bros. Who knew? They sound hot, though. I saw like surgical bros. A hot surgeon cannot be trusted. You remember. I met that surgeon on the plane on the way down to Mexico and I invited him. He was so hot. If you guys don't remember this, I brought him to our live show. I met him on the plane down to Mexico City. He was so fucking hot. We hit off the plane. We talked for hours. We had so much fun.

And I just like, thought he was so great. He was talking to me what I do for a living. And I was like, oh, we have a show. And he was like, it was right for the holiday shows. He was like, I would love to come. I was like, I would love to invite you, but we're all out of tickets. Last minute, we got some tickets available. So I invited him and he was going to bring his hot single friend for you. And he was like, my friend. I got sick, I'm going to bring somebody else and walked into the dressing room of my show with a date. Crazy. Unbelievable. Listen.

Talk my breath away. I want to thank surgeons for their work, saving lives. Do not date a hot surgeon. If you do it, just know the road you're going down. Like, uh, like, Dr. Romney said last week, the dark hallway of the horror movie you're going down. Look what happened to Naomi? Perfect town of a human being.

He was, he was an anesthesiologist. Oh, my God. Anestigologist. He seemed like an hour. He was not a surgeon. I don't know he did. Not that why can't I say the word and that's no shade but I don't think. Anesthesiologist.

Anesthesiologist. Wow. I just don't think he was a surgeon. Well, he seemed like a trash person on Southern Charms. We're talking about Naomi from Southern Charm. We're team Naomi, obviously. Also, I heard she's coming back for the new season. I'm very excited.

But yeah, I'm team her. Like, she's great. Yeah. Fuck that guy for cheating on her. Whatever. Okay. Anyways, next one, spooky season. Spooky Susan.

I actually know that I like the words spooky. Okay, I broke out with my long-term boyfriend two years ago. Since then, we barely have talked besides a casual happy birthday. He went as far as done. Follow me on all social media. Good. A few weeks ago, I woke up for work and saw a text from him. It was just a selfie of us from six years ago.

No text, no context, nothing. Just a drunk selfie from our 21 years old. Like, what the fuck? And on a Tuesday, like 2 a.m., guess it's really spooky season and I'm haunting him. Love you, girl. Stay spooky. I love it. Here's maybe what I think happened.

It was 2 o'clock in the morning and he meant to send that to somebody else. It was all hammered and accidentally sent it to her. And listen, I've done it before. Okay. Maybe you guys don't. But like once in a blue moon, like you are thinking of someone to talk shit on you, it was a picture of the two of them. Yeah, but like maybe he was just like thinking of her and he like typed her name by accident.

Yeah, but why would he be sending a picture of the two of them when they were 21 to anyone else? Who cares? Like, it sounds like he was trying to be nostalgic. Really? Because I sent a picture to, I sent a bunch of pictures of me and my ex to the guy I was dating went around the holidays this year by accident. Yeah, but that's because you meant him to send him to me. Like, who else is he sending that to a 2 a.m.?

You and I were talking about it in person. I mean, this seems like he's trying to like crawl back. Drop. Yeah, drop of bread come, draw back in. Can we talk to? Geez, it's Marker in retrograde. Cannot communicate. Like, he's trying to get back in there.

Like, it's late at night, spooky season. Yeah, I think you're right. You're probably right. Also, like, I think the best way to, like, get back in, like, if you're like, I got nothing, I don't, I can't use that. And you're like, I'll just get an old picture and be like, remember when? Yeah. He's like, he's like nailed it.

I'm sorry, he's haunting you. I just, I'll read this short one and I'll read the next one. This was just funny. She said, I have my ex blocked on every single platform. so he reached out to me through our Serious XM radio account. What does that even mean? Maybe he, like, followed her playlist or something? No, Sirius XM, like, it sounds like they had a joint account.

She said, our account. Like, is, is serious, there's an app to it. Maybe he, like, recommended something to her for the app. I mean, you know, I like, Stan. I love when people, like, reach out in unexpected ways. Like, they've emmo you a dollar so they can talk to you. Or they, like, Chase pay you a dollar. Makes me laugh so hard.

As long as you're paying me. Yeah. You can talk to me. Okay. This one is crazy. She says, I'm going to, should I read this next one? The next one's so long. Oh, then I'll read the show one.

Yeah. All right. Okay. You guys, I take the short one. Okay. Love your podcast. When I heard you mention on this week's episode about people from the past or servicing, I was like, oh my God, it's not just me.

Okay. She says, in the span of one week, I had five different guys for my past all reach out. On Monday, a guy dated from 2019 texted me out of the blue. Same. On Tuesday, a guy I wanted a couple dates with at the very beginning. This year texted me. Thursday night, an old fuck buddy from college decided to DM me on Instagram. Friday night, an ex that I broke up with a month ago decided a call. And Sunday night, a guy I dated for a while

back in 2014 decided to Facebook message me. After quickly confirming with a Google search that Mercury is not yet in retrograde, I felt like I was being punked. Glad to hear I'm not the only one nervous to look at what name is popping up on my next lock screen sign. I'm starting to think all my exes are in a group chat. Oh my gosh. This sounds like one of those songs, it's like Sunday, Monday, happy day. Oh my God.

Yeah, exactly. Or like, what's the one like, I love you on Sundays? I love you. Yeah. Saturday. I love it. Craig David.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. I took this girl out on Monday. Something on Tuesday. We were making love on Wednesday. Thursday, Friday and Saturday. A lot of songs called The Dayland.

Oh my God. I used to love Craig David. I love that song. Yeah. Okay. I used to date this guy in college. We would always drive around and listen to it. Maybe I'll crawl in this week.

No, he's married. Well, he could always get divorced. He has kids, two kids. You usually can't fuck with that, you know? I'm not hoping for anybody with kids to get divorced, yeah. No, no, of course not. It's just like. We would never.

When someone's married, you can always be like, fingers crossed. But they have a kid and you're like, no, there's no hope. Yeah. So, okay. This one I just thought was like so wild. So she says, my boyfriend of two years decided to move to London for a year for a grad program. We ultimately decided that given our status is 20-somethings, figuring shit out that now is not the time for a long-distance relationship. However, he lived with me up until the day he moved a few weeks ago.

Needless to say, I was devastated when he left and literally had to buy an emergency flight to my mom's house because I couldn't be alone. Aw, this does sound sad. This sounds like very like normal people. You know, I bought that emergency flight before. Yeah. Anyway, for the funny breakup moment, one of the things that brought him and I together was having a variety of chronic illnesses and symptoms, which forced us to to get used to each other's weird bodily functions, probably faster and more than any usual couple.

He mentioned the week before he left that he had to do a stool test, and I joke that he better not forget about it. Yet the day he left, I went to go pull all the ice cream I just bought into my freezer and nonetheless see the bag of poop in my freezer. This man literally left his shit in my freezer and then fled the country.

I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when I read this. I was like a bag of poop. The worst part was that I was so fucked up that anything having to do with him made me sob. She's crying. She's just like on the floor of the kitchen clutching this bag of doogie. And obviously I was not going to like throw the frozen poop away my trash can for it to slowly thaw.

I found myself literally crying carrying this bag of frozen poop out to the dumpster. Oh my God. She has the theory for us, but I just have to take a moment to really take this in. I feel so bad. That is so nuts. Carried a bag of frozen. Duky out to the, that is so funny. That's like the, that is like the real, like I'm throwing his shit out. What was it?

Throw your shit out? She says, I don't have pictures of the poop. Fortunately, thank you, girl for not sending them. But I do have screenshots of me shaking said X for leaving his poop. She's on a screenshot that was like, you left your poop. He was like, oh my God, I left my poop. Okay. She says, my theory on the breakups is that COVID had people putting their lives on hold and settling into things. Now the world is open enough for people to get back to their hobbies, dreams and lines. whatever relationship they were in felt less important. I know for me, having a partner during quarantine felt essential to my keeping shit together, and I know he felt the same.

But now that he can have friends, adventures, and pursue his career goals without the fear of death, perhaps it was easier for him to leave. Curious if others have felt like their breakups were COVID related to. Again, I really do think that I just would have seen it earlier. I just would have, maybe it was a delayed relaxation. Maybe, oh my God. Are we okay? You can say we.

It's you. Relax. You stay. I'm just getting. Related. Related relation. So this is just what I would have expected in June. But maybe, again, it was just like, whatever. Let's have a fun summer or something. I mean, I think that this is a pretty astute observation. And we talked about it. I agree. I don't think the world opened up and every person was like, time to fuck over my relationship. It's like time. It's like I finally get to see how this relationship functions in the world. That's a great call. The world, quote unquote, started to feel normal again in the spring, late spring, vaccinated, something like that, April, May. and then you were like, well, it's fun summer, let's just see how this works. I think you're right. And then fall,

and you're like, this doesn't work. Yeah, I mean, I think you really see how they interact with your friends, how they really travel, how they really act at a wedding. Like, a million things we weren't doing with people. And, like, it's, again, like, if somebody does one thing, you don't leave them.

So it has to be like a pattern or stuff. And then you're like, wait, I also get to have my life back. And this also is cool. Maybe I don't need this as much. And yeah, it can just be like a slower drip. And then, like, your ex came back in, or whoever from 2019, crawled back in and you're like, wait, he is kind of hot, though.

The last time we did an episode about, like, so many exes crawling in was the very beginning of the pandemic when, like, everyone's like, like, crazy shifted. And, like, everyone's like, let me try to get back in there. That was the last time exes were, like, really crawling in the door. Yeah. So, like, I feel like it was the beginning of the pandemic. This is what marks the beginning of the end of the pandemic. Oh, my gosh.

Are we one final email? And it's called, what the fuck is? happening. Okay, she wrote, hi guys, just listening to this week's episode, had a chair, keeping it short. So then she gives this list of stuff. It's pretty crazy. My ex of five years messaged me out of nowhere. They had broken up in 2019. He messaged her to ask the honest question of, are you happy we broke up? Also, she said, my dog got bit at the dog park, resulting in an ER visit and stitches. I stepped off a curb wrong and sprained my ankle, that a lady chucked a stone in my car while I was at a stop late. All in the past week,

Anyways, I just wanted to share that something must be in the air moon, stars, etc. Loveless to you ladies every week. Thanks for making my Monday a little better despite whatever the universe is sending my way. That's a lot. It's a lot. Like, I just like imagine like the boyfriend crawls in, this horrible thing with the dog, the car, and then you step off a curb and you twist your ankle and you're like, injure yourself. You're just like, mama!

And these lady tried to kill you while you were to stop playing. Right. I would just like lose my mind. Like that's when you have a disproportionate reaction to what is happening. You lose your mind. Well, that's when, like, you spill a glass of wine and you throw the glass against the wall and you have a mental breakdown. And someone's like, so true. Which is crazy.

All she did was spill the wine. You're like, no. No, the week I'm. My ankle is broken. My dog's in the hospital. Like, it's just like the straw that broke the camel's back. Also, this text, like, there's like a meme that like, it's like at me every time, like I start feeling good and your ex pops out to be like, can I ruin that for you? That is the ultimate.

Like, are you happy we broke up? Yeah. It's been years and I'm thriving. Don't text me. 2019 keeps coming up, but again, that was like the last year before the pandemic. So it's like, this is just crazy. Like we're a different person. I know. You know what I mean? They get to crawl back in really as much in last cuffing season. Yeah. They just didn't. So like, now's my chance. They're picking up for lost time. I mean, cuffing season, I just, it is nice. It's nice to have like a fall boyfriend. It is very nice. Just to cook soup for.

You know, watch reruns. There's a lot of good TV coming out guys in the fall. We got insecure last season coming out. Curbed new season. Succession new season. I'm waiting for this. The new Monica Lewinsky story. I'm waiting for so much of this. All right. Well, your Sopranos movie. So much is happening. All right, guys. Well, thanks for sharing. Thanks to Kara Cottrell for providing her insight and knowledge. Maybe that was helpful to some of you guys to understand what the fuck is happening. And we just hope you guys can stay sane and get through this. And it sounds like mid-October, we might start to feel like things are not as shaken up as they are now.

But we're going to be Phoenix Rising in March 2022. We'll see you guys. Since March 18th on the other side of this. Okay. Stay strong. Stay safe out there, guys. We love you. Yeah, we love you guys.

You can find everything you need to know at Girls. Gotteeepodcast.com. Tickets to our show. Sign up for the newsletter. That's where we release breaking news about shows and merch and everything first is via the newsletter. Get the new merch. We're so excited.

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Have a good week, guys. Bye.