Girls Know Nothing - S1 Ep8: Dated and Related's Alara Taneri: My Mum's Breast Cancer Diagnosis and Post Show Plans

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

GKN is a female focused podcast hosted by Sharon Gaffka (@Sharon Gaffka ). Girls Know Nothing's eighth guest is from Netflix new dating show, Dated and Related, and Fashion Graduate - Alara Taneri. Alara is a Turkish Cypriot woman who entered the villa Dated and Related villa earlier this year, accompanied by her brother Ceylan. But there is more to Alara than her aggressively portrayed pursuit of Kieran Bishop. Alara is an aspiring fashion designer and has recently graduated from Southampton Solent University. October is just over a week away now, which is also breast cancer awareness month. For the first time, Alara opens up about her mum's diagnosis and treatment, as well as how that impacted her and her relationships with her siblings. New episodes of Girls Know Nothing 🧡 are released every Thursday, at 08:00 (UK time), perfect for your pre-work routine! All episodes are also available on Spotify, Apple podcasts and wherever you get your podcast fixes! Dont forget to follow Girls Know Nothing 🧡 on our social channels: Https://linktr.ee/girlsknownothing  Instagram: @girlsknownothingpod  TikTok: @girlsknownothing

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Just text water to 64,000. That's water to 64,000 for your two free gifts with purchase. W-A-T-E-R to 64,000. By texting 64,000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Hose. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available at pockethose.com slash terms. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other job sites. With Indeed Sponsored Jobs, your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates,

so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed have 45% more applications than non-sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed. And listeners of this show will get-K-A-T-Z 13. Just go to Indeed.com slash P-O-D-K-A-T-Z 13 right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Know Nothing. I have Alara with me today from the newest dating show on Netflix. It's a loud one if you couldn't hear already. She is from the dating show Dated and Related. Dating and Related.

I know, listen. It doesn't sound like what it is, so. Yeah, because when I first heard the name, I was like, hmm. No, no, listen. I thought it was going to be some weird documentary on incestest but then I saw the trailer and was like yeah I get that often but it's basically my brother wingman's for me and I wingman for him so how was that oh my gosh crazy like my brother is so overprotective and to see him with the men that I'm dating was crazy because he's he acted like he didn't care,

but I know my brother. He cared. And he didn't want me to be with that man. But it's fine. So, I haven't watched all of the episodes. How successful was he at Wingman and you? Listen, I ended up finding someone, so he was good.

Fair enough, fair play. Maybe give my brother some tips as well. If you're watching, Adam, step up a little bit more. Oh, come on, Adam. But no, how was that whole experience for you? Do you know what? I think it brought my brother and I a lot closer than what we originally were, which we are very close.

He's literally my best friend. But it was so surreal, like having cameras all the time on you like because I can't be fake so when they say to you right go and talk to someone I'm like but I want to do it on my own accord you know so it was crazy and I did I was nervous a lot at the beginning but as time went on I did get more comfortable um but yeah it was amazing. And to have been given this opportunity to do something, give me a little career support, I don't know how to say it. That's the thing, with Netflix shows, it's not just people in the UK that are watching it

or wherever it's aired. It's literally any country in the world that has Netflix. Trust me, I had German people messaging me, Brazilians, everyone. I'm like, what? And I speak Brazilian and French. Portuguese? Everything.

I don't believe it. I'm like, that's what I sound like. Are you okay? I didn't even get anyone close to my voice. I'm disappointed. Oh, that's disappointing. But how do you find now transitioning from, I don't actually know what you did before.

Yeah, so I was a full-time student I've just graduated I think it's been a month and a half now or two months um yeah so I graduated graduated from fashion design degree um and yeah that's I want to do something with fashion obviously so I guess that's kind of being on that dating show has probably benefited your career 100% yeah definitely um yeah I want to definitely do something in fashion and dating related has given me this opportunity so how did you find transitioning from being a student to now being a Netflix sensation I would just say quite that at the moment but um yeah it's mad trying to like message people, posting all the time,

because obviously I want people to see what I'm getting up to. And yeah, I am so fortunate and I'm so grateful to have, obviously, the support from all these people that I don't know. Thinking about it, there's actually people out there supporting you that don't know you or you've never spoken to.

Do you find it weird that people feel like they do know you? Yes. Yes. They're like, yeah, like about the guy that I dated was Kieran. Yeah. And a lot of them like know things about me and him and that I, they know my star sign and my date of birth. Like my family doesn't even know my date of birth.

How is that possible? Yeah. No, my family doesn't even know my date of birth. How is that possible? Yeah. No, I can relate to that. My dad gave me my 18th birthday card like two years after my 18th birthday. Wait, no.

So, at least the strangers on the internet know what your birthday is, right? I know, crazy. So, actually, speaking with you today before we started

recording the podcast, you told me that you're a proud Turkish. I'm going to get my tongue twisted. How do you even say it? Turkish Cypriot. Yeah. Okay. It's very warm in this room. But I noticed you didn't say it on the show. Yeah. So yeah, I'm Turkish Cypriot and I've lived majority of my life there. my parents are separated my dad lives over there so I go there quite often but yeah I'm a proud Turkish Cypriot and we forgot to mention it on the on the show so why do you feel like it wasn't mentioned on the show we did actually

mention it but I think like so much editing goes on and um they chose to not put it in probably yeah yeah I feel like it's one of those things that trying to get everything into one episode is virtually impossible but then again for me like I'm aware that it can misportray people so how do you feel like after watching the episodes how do you feel like you were portrayed on the show do you feel like it was accurate? 100%. I think I got my personality across. I can't be fake in front of the camera. So they got exactly like what I am and who I am. Yeah, I think it was quite accurate. I can't say that word. Accurate. It's a lot of tongue tying going on in this room today. The thing is, my first language isn't English. So I muddle up my

words all the time. Oh, you wouldn't be able to tell. My first language is English, and I muddle up my words all the time. No, but that's at least like, it's good that you feel like you did come across as you are as a person, and then you don't have to like have that whole battle. Yeah.

But obviously after coming off a show like that, like I've had guests who've been on reality TV, on the podcast, and a lot of the time we talk about mental health after leaving a show as big as, like, you know, dated and related. Yeah. Do you feel like your mental health

has actually been impacted by going on the show? I am actually so fortunate because I've got my brother with me. I've got a family member during the recording of the whole show. So I had his support um and we are lucky enough to have such a close family where we can all talk about everything if we got hate we'd go and talk to our family or anything like that so I haven't really had anything to do with

like I don't know how to say it how do you say it like mental health struggles yeah I haven't really had any mental health struggles. Thank God. I hope I don't. Yeah. I try to look at every situation positively. I would class myself as not a negative person. In any situation, I just try and find the positive.

So I know you said you've left the show. Is it in a relationship or are you just dating? Am I about to get someone in trouble? I sorry no um so the guy I was with was um a little gameplay I'd say no I'm joking no basically we um returned back from the show and he did not message me for two weeks after we came back from the show after After living together. After sleeping in the same bed. I know. I kiss him every day. I am getting you in trouble. And yeah,

it was shocking because we talked about seeing each other outside and meeting family and yeah, just spending time and to come back and not have even a message saying,

did you have a safe flight? It was like, right, okay. Like you could have been a bit more real about that. But yeah. So, I am single as a Pringle.

I mean. So, you're not dating? No. Because I was going to ask about like, how it is to have a relationship in the public eye for you. No, no, no.

If you're not, like, do you find that's a struggle? Then, like, to have made a connection with somebody on a show like that and then feel like you've been played for the sake of the show oh yeah 100 i think as soon as i came back i was like shit he played he must have played a game how can you you know say all these things to someone and then come back and not even message like hi how are you or anything like that i just put my, and then my family, like, was like,

Lara, you just need to realise, like, people aren't like you, you know? So I think my feelings were a lot more genuine than him. But on the show, they made it seem like I was obsessed with him. I was not. I rejected two guys on there, and they didn't put that in. They just put me in, I know you haven't watched it, so you wouldn't know, but they put me literally aggressively

going for Kieran. Like I was constantly saying like, I want Kieran, I'm going to get him, blah, blah, blah. But I was actually, yeah, yeah. Do you feel like they wanted to put, I feel like with women on dating shows like that, they really actively tried to portray them

as like obsessive women chasing boys around the villa when it's not necessarily like that and do you do you fight did you get annoyed like knowing that that's what they portrayed as yeah 100% like I never make the first move and in there even with messages I can't message a guy first he needs to do I'm I like a guy that's a gentleman so I like him to do the first move and in there it was not like that I was making the first moves

and I was like out of my comfort zone and and I believe everything does happen when you're out of your comfort zone so

it did show me that I do have a I am a lot more confident than what I am like watching back but yeah I would never doubt your confidence in

the moment you're in here like everybody in this building could hear you so there is no way in hell that I would ever think you are not a confident person but I think no I think that's really good like to hear that you are confident and you haven't had those mental health struggles because it is really challenging like you know we were having conversations off camera about what it's like to be projected into the public eye so quickly. Yeah. Rather than like steady growth and how hard that can be.

And like, you know, trying to navigate your way now in terms of your career. So, you know, what do you see yourself like potentially doing now? Like I know you said you wanted to go into fashion, but what's like the goal? My end goal is to have my fashion brand. I have a vision that I don't think no one else has.

It's something out there, unique, stuff that you've never seen before. And yeah, I want to get, that is my end goal. But for now, I think I just want to build my brand and yeah, get my name out there. So what does brand Alara look like? Ooh, that's it she was like go easy on me and i was like yeah sure um yeah i would say um quite unique um and i wouldn't want everyone to like the brand i want it to be specific people oh i just want it to be controversial um like when gucci sent louis no it's that louis vuitt Vuitton sent Gucci bags out to certain people so they didn't want them to see yeah have you seen wearing Louis Vuitton

is it going to be like that I don't know yeah I've got a lot more um to look into because I know that having a brand means successful team behind you like you need someone that's talented to work with you on the designs and someone that you can trust, you know, to get you out there. So I think it's going to be a long process. But yeah, I'm excited and I'm so determined to, you know, build something that's different. So I'm a bit of a nosy person and I'm sure everybody that's watching will also want to know,

when you leave reality TV, DMs get a little little bit juicy so what blue ticks are in the dms right now i can't confirm i can't see anything you can't see your blue that's that is the worst answer i have ever heard i have had quite a few um basketball players and... I can't... No, I'm not going to say anything else. That's enough. Are we talking NBA basketball? I don't know. She didn't deny it, so

I'm going to take that as a yeah. But, Kieran, you should have just sent the text. Ah! Sharon said it. No, that's... Obviously, moving away from the show, because I don't want, you know, this whole podcast, I really want to get to know the guests personally. And I know you are really worried about having like this deep conversation. But, you know, it's really important to be able to actually show there is more sides to people than just what you see on

screen. And, you know, from speaking with you, you know, there's one thing that we do have in common, and that's that we both looked after our mums. Hi, I'm Richard Karn, and you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose. Well, the brand new Pocket Hose Copperhead with Pocket Pivot is here, and it's a total game changer. Old-fashioned hoses get kinks and creases at the spigot, but the Copperhead's Pocket Pivot swivels 360 degrees for full water flow and freedom to water with ease all around your home. When you're all done, this rust-proof anti-burst hose shrinks back down to pocket size for effortless handling and tidy storage. Plus, your super light and ultra-durable pocket hose Copperhead is backed with a 10-year warranty. What could be better than that? I'll tell you what, an exciting exclusive offer just for you. For a limited time, you can get a

free pocket pivot and their 10-pattern sprayer with the purchase of any size copperhead hose. Just text WATER to 64000. That's WATER to 64000 for your two free gifts with purchase. W-A-T-E-R to 64000. By texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Host. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available at pockethost.com slash terms. Like, we're suffering from cancer. And I know that it's obviously a really tough conversation to talk about. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm starting to worry. Don't. Don't.

Like, you know, from experience, it took me ages to be able to get around to talking about it without being upset. You know, I don't actually know much about your experience with it or your mom's experience with it. It took me ages to be able to get around to talking about it without being upset. You know, I don't actually know much about your experience with it or your mum's experience with it. So, like, you know, what was it like when she was first diagnosed? Like, how did that whole come about? Yeah, so... Take your time, don't be silly. So, we found out near Christmas.

And it's something like you think, oh, it wouldn't happen to my family. And yeah, we got the news and it was stage three. So, I mean, it could have been a lot worse. So we immediately moved to Wales where we could get a better support system. But yeah, I just, it was the worst year of our lives. Just seeing my mom really

weak um yeah I think the hardest thing was when she um she she literally turned around and said to me if I go like can you look after my sister and it was just like because my mom's my mom like is quite overweight so going into the operation room, she had a higher risk of something happening. So the whole two hours, I was just praying that everything went successful. I'm sorry. Sorry.

Very silly. Yeah, and just hearing the doctor call us and just say listen your mom's fine she's in recovery was no this is a good start to the podcast everyone in the room's gonna start crying um no like I can imagine it is really hard to to hear with. Like, I don't know how old you were when this was happening. Yeah, so it was a year ago, a year and a half ago. So I was 22. So it's really, really fresh then. Yeah, I actually filmed towards the end of her recovery.

And we actually got news in the villa saying that she's been in the hospital. And she was really ill. And we didn't really know about it because my mum obviously didn't want to influence what was going on in the villa, you know. So hearing that she was in the hospital and we couldn't do anything when we were in a different country hurt us so much. But the whole production team was amazing

to let us call her every day. So yeah. Yeah. Sorry. No no don't be silly like it's one of the I think one of those things is um there was breast cancer that your mum had and I think you know it's weird because breast cancer is so common and we all know somebody in one way or another that's been affected by it but you know from my experience when hearing my mum be diagnosed with the big c and you just sit there and you also you always think it will never happen to you it's always somebody else's family or it's always somebody on the tv and then when it actually happens to you especially at a

young age and you don't really know what to do and like in our i feel like in our culture it's always you know down to like the children have to really step up yeah um take you know like you said take care of siblings um take care of siblings, take care of parents. And I think it's really hard, especially as a woman, to watch the woman who raised you always be so strong to then not. Definitely.

And then how, like, how did that impact you? Oh, like, I became so much stronger after the whole, because I was like, like like I don't know how to explain it but when you're going through it it's like you're like when your mum's going through it you feel like you're going through it so like yeah sorry no don't be silly yeah um so in your brain your mum's like the person woman yeah she does everything you know um she's she doesn't need anyone but now that this has happened um she's a lot more weaker when it comes to mentally because she's having to go on these medications that have to stop the cancer from coming back and

she has the cancer that that um is lymphedemia I believe yeah so she didn't know she had cancer like it was a rash she literally had a rash and not a not a lot of women know that a rash can be cancer you know so that is what my mum did after she had it she went onto Facebook and um she raised awareness that you if you have a rash or if you have any redness it means something bad so you need to go and get checked out and um basically she went to um the doctors um I think six months prior them telling the telling her that she has cancer um and she went to the hospital and they said you've got absolutely nothing wrong with you you've just got an allergic reaction so she said oh okay that's fine three months after it got worse and she's like no listen

something's up like and the guy's like oh well just come in and let me check he checked he's like nothing you're absolutely fine gave her medication and then six months later she um she went and she said I need to I need to get a scan you know They got a scan and it turns out it was stage three, yeah. But yeah, I mean, seeing her week, definitely, like, we're siblings of three. So, like, yeah, just seeing our mum like that and not being able to go and do stuff like she used to prior to cancer. It's weird because I feel like when, especially when it comes to like breast cancer, there's a lot of different symptoms that people don't necessarily know about.

And then usually, like from my experience as well, like my mum went to the doctor. So my mum had bowel cancer. Oh, sorry. When my mum, she's fine. I was really fortunate we caught it very early and she's been like fine for a long time. But, you know, I remember the whole story with her

is that because it was in her bowel, they were like, oh, you know, you're just constipated. And like, we're giving her drugs to help move her along and nothing was happening. And she was like, you know, you know in your own body when something's not right. And it's a fact you don't get believed until like, you know, you said it went all the way to stage three

before it got believed. Like, you know know there's a sense of like anger you feel because you know your mum might not have had to have such like traumatic treatment had she been listened to the first time around exactly um but like how do you like cope like thinking about that and like with your mum's emotions when she thinks about things like that like how does that how have you managed yeah I think if the doctors could have done um what they were supposed to do a lot of things could have been different you know and we were angry at the world because we're like why why like awesome why has the doctor not done anything sooner you know but I think listen people do make mistakes and I know the mistake can pay a big price like and it did um but I'm just so grateful

for you know for my mum to be on the right road now we're getting the best support from a scientist in London um so yeah it's all looking positive that's it's really nice to hear that like even though it was hard that they're you know your mum's in remission and it probably brought your siblings closer to to like to each other and I think it's it's one of those things with cancer that you know it can make or break families and it's really nice to hear that it's like helped make yours yeah um do you think like going on from your mum's journey do you think that maybe like there's something for you to do in that like area honestly I would love to do something in breast cancer community,

whether it's like running, is it? Race for Life? Yeah, Race for, sorry, whether it's Race for Life. Hannah's self-plugged there. Hey! And yeah, yeah,

I'd definitely love to do something like that because I think it does need to be, raise awareness a lot more than what it has um yeah now a word from our sponsor better help thinking back to my professional career and my time as a civil servant I worked on a lot of fast-paced very reactive projects which meant that my brain was stuck focusing on problems instead of how to make solutions and now that I've spent a lot more time in self-development and in therapy, I feel like I've changed my mindset

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problem solver, therapy can actually get you there. So if you visit betterhelp.com slash GKN today, you get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash GKN. Obviously, that was a very emotional and heavy part of the podcast. And I obviously don't want it to just be like everyone in the room is emotional. I know your brother won't admit it. But it's very emotional in this room. And obviously, I don't want it to just be like, you know, leave this podcast like on a bit of a downer.

And, you know, I don't, I feel like I don't know a lot about you, even though like conversation has been very easy. But I just want to know more about Alara so you know you have no issues with talking so feel free to tell us and me a bit more like about you and yeah so um I grew up in Cyprus um and then my parents separated which meant my mum came to the UK my dad stayed in Cyprus then my mum met someone um in the UK um and we went to Dubai for four years we lived in Dubai and we were so grateful honestly it is a different world out there I can imagine yeah um and it's so male orientated like I'm a feminist so like see like

going into a shop like you would go into a mall and they would serve the male first instead of the woman and that's not me you know yeah that's one thing I didn't like about it but I was 14 years of age when I was in Dubai so I didn't get to live the full Dubai experience and then you also got to come to the UK and have a driving license so yeah should I tell you a little secret oh god I love secrets I don't know how to drive. Oh, well, that was wasted on you. Yeah, unfortunately. Well, it's by choice, obviously.

I think because I've had so much going on, I haven't had time to drive. And I'm so scared to drive, like, because you're not in control of other people driving into you. Don't I know it. And, like, growing up in Cyprus and seeing the car crashes and stuff, I don't want to be in any of that. I've only ever been to Cyprus on a holiday as a kid,

so I actually don't know about what it's like to live in Cyprus. How does that differ to UK culture and transitioning? Yeah, so a lot of people go to the Greek side of Cyprus, but the North side has a lot more heart to it. And it's a lot more cultural. This is how I can explain it. If you don't have a house and you're thirsty, you're hungry, you literally can knock on anyone's door and they'll give their bed and their car.

Like they're so giving. And that's what I love about the Turkish side. And to be brought up in the Turkish side of Cyprus and come here, it's so, because people don't say hello in the streets, you know? They're so... It's like, can you imagine knocking on someone's door in London? There is no way that you would get that. Literally, when I came from Cyprus to the UK,

I literally went into primary and I started hugging and kissing people. And they were like, sorry, like, why are you kissing me on my cheek? I'm like, isn't that what you do? And I didn't know any English. So I actually got really bullied in primary and secondary because I didn't know English. Yeah. That must be really tough though,

as like, I don't even know if this is like the right phrase, like being an immigrant child, that must be really tough if you don't know how to speak the language of the country you've moved to yeah I was just sign language and everything basically because I all I knew was hello okay one two three that was it but people don't believe me now because I have such a British accent yeah you do like if you told me you'd spend most of your time in London I would have been like yeah that's why I could see that but do you did you find that like a'd spend most of your time in London, I would have been like, yeah, that's fine, I could see that.

But did you find that, like, a really lonely period of your life? Because being a teenager is hard enough as it is. So, like, especially if you can't speak the language, do you feel really isolated and lonely? Oh, yeah, 100%. A lot of my high school, I didn't have friends. I was the type of person that would go up to people and try and make friends, but I did not have friends. I was the type of person that would go up to people and try and make friends, but I did not have friends.

And I actually, literally, I wore Velcro kickers, right? Because I asked my mum, I was like, Mum, could you get me these kickers? Everyone's wearing it, you know, they're lace-up ones. Yeah, yeah. And she went and got me Velcro. She got me Velcro and I got bullied every day for it. Every time I went past.

As soon as you said you wore Velcro shoes, I was like... You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other job sites. With Indeed sponsored jobs, your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates, so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed have 45% more applications than non-sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at Indeed.com slash P-O-D-K-A-T-Z 13.

Just go to Indeed.com slash P-O-D-K-A-T-Z 13 right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. In a British school, I was like, you're brave. Honestly, every time I went, they'd just call me names and everything. But I don't know if you were ever bullied in school, but I think it moulds you into the person you are. So I am grateful for the kids. Thank you.

Shout out to the bullies. No, it's like, I can imagine, like, it's really, because obviously there's people like, you know, that get bullied that English is there. Do you feel like maybe words didn't hurt you as much because you were just like, I don't really understand what's going on. No, trust me.

Like, I got spat on as well. Like, it was physical as well. Yeah, it was physical as well. But listen, it's okay because I am here and thriving and they've all got kids or married, so. Cots fired. Yeah. No, I think that's like,

it's a good thing to like hear that, you know, you've come out the other side of it. Yeah. I feel like a lot of the listeners of Girls Know Nothing are also young women, especially that have, you know, people that reach out to me have had experiences of bullying

or feeling lonely or like mental health struggles. So it's like nice to hear that, you hear that you have come on the other side of it and that there is light at the tunnel. It makes you into who you are and set you up for what you're doing now, basically. Definitely. But it's... Well, you said you went to a school

that you didn't know the language and now you have a degree. Yeah. I know, what? All my teachers doubted me. They were like, you're not went to a school that you didn't know the language and now you have a degree yeah I know what all my teachers doubted me you know they were like you're not gonna go into uni and I'm like

now look at me did you no degree but like it's hard I think it's really it sucks a little bit when teachers doubt you

because it doesn't really inspire like the next generation do you feel like it made school harder for you do you know what it actually motivated me after like the next generation do you feel like it made school harder for you? do you know what it actually motivated me after they told me to do better

school has always been hard listen I'm not how like I'm a lot more creative than academic

academic see do you know what it is I know the Turkish word but the English word I'm like what is that? you said it to me in Turkish,

I just went, yeah. Literally. Yeah, I've always been good at sports, arts, you know, creative media, but like history, science has never been my strong point. Yeah, and I think a lot of girls, like my little sister and their friends

can relate where they're not academic, you know, and they're a lot more better in creative things so I think it just goes to show like you know a lot of people that have sat in your chair have either hated school yeah kicked out of school dropped out of university all these things and like you know they've worked hard to be who they are now and I think that's something that people need to hear about more. Definitely. That it's not just like, you know, I don't even know what it is now,

one to seven on your piece of paper. Yeah. It's more about heart and drive and like, 100%. Finding something

you're passionate about. And I guess that's, you know, why you went into, like, is that what inspired you to go into fashion because you're more

creative than? So, seeing my mum and my dad doing what they love inspired me to do what I want because I don't want to wake up and think shit I have to go into work again I want to get up and be like I've got work I'm excited what's going on you know so yeah I think having a degree amazing but you don't need a degree it's who you are as a person it's your drive how hard you're willing to work that makes

you where you want to get in life you know so I wouldn't say go to university just do what you want um and I think I wanted to party a lot more than get this degree that's why I went to everyone wants to do freshers I think that's why I wanted to go to uni to be honest yeah I wanted to stay but failed the year you know oh no but then stay, but, failed the year, you know? Oh, no. But then, like, wait,

so you failed your year? No, no, no, no, I would want to stay longer in uni. Would not recommend

doing that, it's very expensive. But, no, like, it's nice though to hear that you, I don't know very many people

that get up in the morning and think, yes, I get to go to work. Like, everyone, even I've done it at times, I'm like,

hmm, work again. But it's nice, like, now now doing what I do now like it's you feel more driven to actually achieve something because you enjoy what you do yeah and it makes life generally a lot easier yeah so like obviously I know from experience like when you come off tv it's like a it's a massive whirlwind and it's very easy to get like sucked in to like the the glitz and glamour of what you think life should be like but you know I know exactly what it's like when you come out and you're like actually this is not what I want to do and like trying to figure out who you are and rebrand and kind of stay in the glitz and

glamour side so like you know I've, I've heard that you're now a HLD girl. Hey! Welcome to the family. Only the best. Literally. So like, what do you see kind of like, what is in your head? Like, you know, we spoke about long-time goals,

but like next 12 months, like what's the plan for Alara? I would love to like build relationships with brands and do collaborations. I would love to go to events and just, I don't know, like socialize, live the life that you live. That's really not that glamorous, to be honest. Actually, my brother and I were thinking of doing a podcast too.

Yeah. I'm just like trying to get myself an invite to this. No, like I think, but you know, feel free to name drop. But like, you know, what kind of like brands and things are like your dream brands to like work with? Well, my dream is Manier Devoir. Like they are my favourite. Like he's, it's Riz Rivera that is the owner.

And the designs are my style to a T what other brands is it just Manier Devoir like what's there must be like a whole list because in my head

I've got it in my notes on my phone like dream brands like goals that I want to set myself yeah I mean Balenciaga come on

who wouldn't want to work with Balenciaga she's not going for the small brands here she's going straight in for the big ones no and Boohoo Man I love what they do and i love wearing my brother's clothes that are from boohoo man so yeah they're definitely sisters to steal each other's wardrobe just not honestly i live in my brother's t-shirts that are from boohoo man yeah it's probably why you found dated and related so easy to do because my brother would be like, stay away from me. I mean, he wears my clothes too.

Yeah, I can see you rocking the corset. No, not the corset, baby. But like, you know, there are so many different types of events as well. Like what works for you? Like what do you see yourself doing? Event-wise, like where do you want to be seen at? Like, if someone said to you,

here's an invite to your dream event. Oh my gosh. As soon as you said that, something popped into my head. Go on. London Fashion Week. New York Fashion Week. They are like my,

those are my dream events to go to. Like, just getting the invites to just go there would be my dream come true. I guess everything's fashion for you, right? So you're probably in the right industry. Yeah, I would love to go into TV as well. Yeah, I think... What, reality TV?

Or do you want to do something different? Like... Bake off. Oh, I can't cook, but... I can try. Listen, God loves a try-out. So, God. So, oh God. So what,

did your mum never teach you to cook? I thought it was such a cultural thing. I know. The only thing I can cook is pasta. And I, yeah. That's a uni student speaking right there. Yeah, uni. That's all I did.

Noodles, spaghetti. That's it. I mean, is noodles cooking? I don't think so. If it's coming from a pot and you put kettle water in it it's not cooking like

no so every person that sits in that chair I ask final question two and you know if you watched the podcast you would have been prepared

digging you out so I always ask people that sit in that chair what would you say to people that doubt you your current success and your future

success based on the fact you're a woman? Don't give up and chase your, I know this is so cliche to say, but don't give up, have a drive. I think the biggest thing I can say is manifest. One thing that I always did is write five things five times every time I wake up. And I tell you now everything on that list I've done is accomplished um and yeah I always say um this sentence as well I don't chase I attract what belongs to me will simply find me I know it's cringy I know you're probably laughing at me she's got live laugh love above her bed in her bedroom but I promise you and you only say this sentence when you're in a good mood, when, you know, something positive is happening to you. Say it, and I promise you, whatever you want, you can get. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other

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Terms and conditions apply. Hiring, Indeed is all you need. Well, yeah, I mean, apart from that, it was so cheesy. No, I love it. No, it's all about, like, I do think manifestation is a massive thing. And, you know, I'm really grateful for you being so open and honest about your life so far and your experiences with your mum's cancer on my podcast. And I'm sorry for making you cry. No, I'm sorry for making you cry. No, I'm sorry for making you cry.

And I'm sorry to everyone else in the room for making them cry too. But no, honestly, thank you so much. And it's been amazing to meet you. And I can't wait to see what you do with the first year post-dating and related. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. It's been lovely talking to you. I almost emptied this glass onto my head then. Hi, I'm Richard Karn. And you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose. Well, the brand new Pocket Hose Copperhead with Pocket Pivot is here.

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