Girls Know Nothing - S2 Ep36: Peggy Rose | Mafs, School Bullying & Anorexia

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Girls Know Nothing: UK Top Female Empowerment Podcast Hosted By Sharon Gaffka GKN Social Channels: Https://linktr.ee/girlsknownothing  Instagram: @girlsknownothingpod  Tiktok: @girlsknownothingpod TikTok: @girlsknownothing

Hi, I'm Richard Karn, and you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose. Well, the brand new Pocket Hose Copperhead with Pocket Pivot is here, and it's a total game changer. Old-fashioned hoses get kinks and creases at the spigot, but the Copperhead's Pocket Pivot swivels 360 degrees for full water flow and freedom to water with ease all around your home. When you're all done, this rust-proof anti-burst hose shrinks back down to pocket size for effortless handling and tidy storage. Plus, your super light and ultra-durable pocket hose Copperhead is backed with a 10-year warranty. What could be better than that? I'll tell you what, an exciting exclusive offer just for you. For a limited time, you can get a free pocket pivot and their 10-patter pattern sprayer with the purchase of any size copperhead hose.

Just text water to 64,000. That's water to 64,000 for your two free gifts with purchase. W-A-T-E-R to 64,000. By texting 64,000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Hose. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available at pockethose.com slash terms. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other job sites.

With Indeed Sponsored Jobs, your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates, so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed have 45% more applications than non-sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed. And listeners of this show will get-K-A-T-Z 13. Just go to Indeed.com slash P-O-D-K-A-T-Z 13 right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. It was so hard watching that wedding with my family. That was just the most awkward moment because I obviously didn't know what George had said either yeah everything's pre-recorded isn't it so it's not

even like you can bring it up at a commitment ceremony no it's too late it's too late it's been it's done it's gone and I mean the honeymoon as well that did not do me any favors about the OnlyFans comment. Yeah I saw that. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Know Nothing. You may recognize today's guest who recently graced our TV screens as they appeared on the newest and current series of Married at First Sight UK. Peggy Rose and her husband have had a very rocky relationship but she has displayed some really strong characteristics. Outside of the show Peggy is not only beautiful but uk peggy rose and her husband have had a very rocky relationship but she has displayed some really strong characteristics outside of the show peggy is not only beautiful but intelligent as she is a technology risk partner and we're excited for her to join us in the studio so welcome to the studio peggy oh my god there are so many things that i wanted to talk to you about because

there's a lot to get through and i know that there will be people that want to know all the maths gossip so we will get there eventually but um you know you've i when i what when i've obviously i've said to you that i'm so far behind because there's so much on tv right now that i can't keep up but um i love that like you were very strong in what you believed in and like would be afraid to say what you think or believe in sometimes it can burn you I would know that firsthand um but like I want to get to all the other stuff before you got to marry the first sight okay um so all of the other stuff it's kind of a little bit like a therapy couch I feel like the studio yeah that's nice I like this it gives off that warm vibe doesn't it yeah I feel like that I'm usually the

therapist for my friends so it's nice to have somebody to talk to and vent to usually I'm just like no strong strong strong-minded but so now you're my girl that's what I'm here for apparently no it's fine I like it but yeah like I mean from what like I'd read about you and stuff it was pretty rough in the early days right yeah um I mean I don't even know where to begin but I think you'd spoken about how you'd suffered with eating disorders or like when you were younger um and how massive our peer pressure and societal standards have played a massive part in your thinking and your relationship with food yeah my relationship with food even to this day isn't very good i think that's like in our honeymoon in thailand they took us to a thai market and it was a food market yeah they put me at my you know my weakest to try and test me

and that was a difficult challenge for me um but in terms of like eating disorders it was my sister that first had anorexia so she wasn't bulimic she was anorexic and that was during me that was when I was at university and it came to the point where it was impacting the whole family because I'm not sure if you know somebody with anorexia it doesn't just impact the person but it impacts everybody in their surroundings and my mum was devastated you know it was killing my dad my brother everybody that lived in our household was suffering and with me being away at the University of Sheffield yeah I felt guilty that I wasn't there for my family because I feel like when you

do have an incident disorder and I didn't realize that I would then have one later on in life you don't you can't help yourself until you until you admit it yeah nobody can help you so I was trying to be there for my mum so I actually picked all of my modules at university on a Monday and Tuesday so that I could drive home and spend the rest of the week with my family that must have been really tough for you like at that young age as well it was awful seeing my sister and I was going through university studying for a degree and my sister was you know she's my height five foot ten and she got down to five stone four really scary yeah and to see her and she's so beautiful she's the most beautiful person I know inside and out and she's got so much love to give but I feel like where she didn't love herself

it was making her somebody she wasn't and it was like you don't just it was like we were losing her as a person and I feel like I lost a part of my sister when she had that illness and I thought it's really weird because I said to myself I would never do that to my family I would never you know why can't you just go to TGI's and have a burger yeah you know I wish I could swap my life with hers so that I could eat everything in the world because I was such a foodie yeah I used to have a large Domino's pizza to myself chicken strippers like everything garlic bread potato wedges I used to have the lot and I used to have the hump with my boyfriend at the time of eight years used to have a slice I used to be like oh my god he's stolen a slice of my pizza you know I was such a foodie and I always remember saying I wish I could stop

lies with her and just I'd eat everything but then with my work and it was only two years ago um I I was working so hard with lockdown and I used to think right I'm not going to the gym now I need to stop eating okay and I was at home and it wasn't until the point where I lost about three stone in about six seven weeks wow that's ridiculous that's like really it was bad it was it was bad i used to go to the gym three times a day when i was at work and obviously when lockdown hit i was like right i'm not going to the gym three times a day that's about a thousand calories i need to stop eating so i used to literally i would have ham eggs and greek yogurt and chicken and that would be my diet it would be no carbs there was no marvs but there's still no carbs there was

literally that was all i would eat was protein and it wasn't until my brother saw me in well i was walking my dog and my brother seen me and he was like look you need help you don't look good and that is why i said to my boss at the time I needed demotion and that was really hard for me because I've always worked so hard to be where I was in my career to actually say I want to be demoted because it's affecting my health you know I it's really like I haven't told many people this but I haven't had a period in four years because of stress yeah and the only thing to help me get my periods back sorry to say that in front of you guys sorry um is to be less stressed yeah and obviously my eating at the time wasn't helping my hormones

my body and yeah my periods completely stopped so whether or not I can have children I don't know yet I think it's one of those things that like sometimes when you're on the outside and you're not in the other person's brain you're like why won't you just do this but it's because there's something going on like you've said with work for you there's something going on in the other person's life where food is now the only thing they're able to control yeah and that's all they're looking for like to control an element of their life that was i used to feel guilty when i'd when i had certain foods like if i had i don't even mean a slice of toast i mean a bite of toast i used to feel guilty i used to lick the flavoring off pringles and then throw the crisp in the bin just so i could

get the satisfaction of eating and i haven't told anybody that and if my mum sees this she'll probably get upset but like it does take over your life it does and being at home with Covid you know it was in lockdown I live at home with my mum and dad they're vulnerable my dad's got cancer there was no way in hell I was going outside those doors so for a good nine months I did not go out it was just home deliveries and it was like me just then fending for my mum and dad whereas I've always been looked after by them the kind of roles reversed and the only thing I could control was my eating and it was it was just damaging mentally damaging and physically damaging and I'm still living with the effect now of not you know having my monthly cycle I think it's um it's really tough when you witness like people

that have always been very strong characters in your life like need to depend on you and like you said food became the thing that you were able to control and with lockdown I've seen many a story about people going through a similar experience to you because they've spent an excessive amount of time on social media because you had nothing else to do especially for like someone like yourself who wasn't able to go out because you had vulnerable family members do you think social media had a part to play in oh 100% all my friends were out but yeah some of them live at home with their mom and dad still some of them don't but their mom and dads weren't of an age or had health issues like mine so I I was only one at my friendship group not going out so I had you know the fear of missing out yeah you know you're

and I did think oh my god my life is going to stop at 30 you know I didn't have my 30th birthday I was in lockdown and I thought this is this is little did I know my 20s would be the last of how I imagined life to be going out socializing I'm never going to meet anybody in lockdown you know the postman's not coming to my door you know I'm not I'm not going to have a family and at that point I hadn't had a period for two years and I didn't want to go to the hospitals to get checked because of the risk of bringing something back home to my mum and dad and it was me on social media looking at my friends going out having a good time you know they start to go on holidays as well and I was like no way am I going on a flight and it was it was seeing everybody you know with the filters on and things like that

like don't get me wrong I apply a filter yeah and it comes to a point where I don't want a photo now without a filter on but there's no filter on my mouth you know that's one thing I don't put a filter on is my mouth um and that has got me into trouble in the past but really haven't we all been there when I was like 11 oh wow yeah yeah I'm just if I see somebody getting bullied I cannot stand bullies bullies is the worst thing for me it's because you had your own experience with it yeah right um like I've seen the was it you that were expelled or people were expelled I was expelled you were expelled or being physically attacked yeah at school yeah that doesn't make any sense I know it was year nine I was at a comprehensive school a girl's school and it was called Buller's Wood and it was called Bullywood because there's a lot of bullies there apparently but I didn't

I didn't ever get bullied I was friends with everybody like I can actually gel with anybody I can sort of I think with my job as well I've had to judge the room yeah if I'm in a boardroom there's not things I'd be saying on a night out to my friends in Essex yeah not at all um not sure how they would take it if you did no no I'd be sent straight out the door and home um and I was in year nine and my best friend at the time she'd gone on holiday left her keys with the kind of the kind of mean girls of the school you know I never had a problem with them they never had a problem with me she left their keys there she went on holiday and they trashed her house and when she came back from holiday they started bullying her they took her nan's jewelry you know awful and they bullied her and I stuck up for her and had seven girls attack me jump me I had an umbrella wrapped around my ankle and pulled me down the stairs as I was

walking up the stairs um I had my hair pulled out punched in the face I had seven girls attack me that's that's beyond bullying I wouldn't feel that bullying that's no but you got expelled for it I got expelled for it how did that happen so it was the time of BCGs okay so I had the little test of BCG and I then got suspended first for four days. And it come back that I needed my BCG. Right. And they wouldn't let me have it. They said, no, we've decided to expel you because the seven girls who have attacked you

come from underprivileged homes and problem families. So we can't get rid of those because we feel like they will go off the walls if they don't have education. I mean, I understand where they're coming from but at the same time like you can't that you would you were the victim in that situation and they should have been looked after and supported out of the school yeah and put into a different form of education as opposed to like removing you from yours because the same could have happened to you oh completely but because they thought that I could easily move to another

school yeah um it'd be less difficult for me to move rather than ask the seven girls to move and the bad thing is my best friend who I was sticking up for at the time then went against me and she's still not friends with those girls now. It's actually weird. Them girls have messaged me since trying to make up to me. And I'm friends with them, but I would never trust them to the point, you know, what they've done to me. And also the effect it's had on my family of me getting bullied. Like my sister doesn't want her little sister getting bullied. Hi, I'm Richard Karn. And you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose. Well, the brand new Pocket Hose Copperhead with Pocket Pivot is here, and it's a total game changer. Old-fashioned hoses get kinks and creases

at the spigot, but the Copperhead's Pocket Pivot swivels 360 degrees for full water flow and freedom to water with ease all around your home. When you're all done, this rust-proof anti-burst hose shrinks back down to pocket size for effortless handling and tidy storage. Plus, your super light and ultra-durable pocket hose Copperhead is backed with a 10-year warranty. What could be better than that? I'll tell you what, an exciting exclusive offer just for you. For a limited time, you can get a free pocket pivot and their 10-pattern sprayer with the purchase of any size Copperhead hose.

Just text WATER to 64000. That's WATER to 64000 for your two free gifts with purchase. W-A-T-E-R to 64000. By texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Hose. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available at pockethose.com slash terms. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed.

Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other job sites. With Indeed Sponsored Jobs, your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates. So you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed have 45% more applications than non-sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at Indeed.com slash P-O-D-K-A-T-Z 13. Just go to indeed.com slash P-O-D-K-A-T-Z 13 right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. It's awful. But now, you know, I've learned my lesson is sometimes it's not always best to get involved

but when you see your best friend sticking up like getting bullied you have to yeah it's just something that it's something i've tried to teach my nieces as well like don't don't stand for bullies because at the end of the day they are cowards and i will not to this day to this point now i could walk out on that street and if I see somebody getting bullied attacked mugged shouted at you know a woman getting abused by her partner I will step in I know that is my natural instinct to step in and my mum's always said no don't don't because it's dangerous I'm the sort of girls that see like an old lady at the bus station I'll drive past and I'll offer her a lift yeah of course I will so how do you find the strength like to after dealing with what you've dealt with to like not being afraid to like court not being a bystander

like how do you how did you grow into that I think it has to be my mum and dad okay but we come from a big Irish family yeah we've got really big morals really big yeah my mum's one of 13 oh wow yeah it's a huge irish family we have a spreadsheet of all the cousins and second cousins i'm not even joking my auntie ann she's like the queen the queen bee she has the spreadsheet and every time a baby's born it gets added to the spreadsheet there's like 140 168 i think there is of us i wish somebody did that for me because my mom's one of 12 oh really yeah so and i have no idea what it's like to have a big family no idea who is her anymore yeah i'm like are they my cousin yeah yeah they're sticking cousins from cousins cousin okay christmas must be weird getting the spreadsheet out it's the weddings that

i dreaded getting married because i thought who'd i invite i was about to ask you like that was my question like gonna be a thing i was like right well because you they don't give you a massive budget i imagine no we get 1200 pounds and 1200 pounds has to cover the dress bridesmaid dresses made of honor you know any gifts you want to buy for your mom or yeah sister no it sister no 1200 what are you getting for that spag and shoes and bowels are like 300 pounds i didn't realize how expensive a bow was a what oh 300 pounds yeah for about a piece of fabric i know i know now i'm like i don't know what to do with it like literally i don't know what to do with it it doesn't even look like a bow like it's just like oh yeah so it's not a lot when you think about how expensive you know dresses are bridal dresses yeah and the men get 500 pounds for one

suit for one suit yeah which isn't too bad compared to a wedding dress because you're looking in like thousands of pounds for wedding dresses and it was hard to find a dress off the peg for a start yeah excuse pun um it was hard because it was you know they're all like um like average size they were size 12 but they were for average height and oh yeah you need a custom one no I was like oh this is gonna be bad I'm gonna be wearing flats on my wedding day because even I struggle and I'm like you're taller than me yeah it's hard isn't it so I can imagine like that must have been rough going for you do you get to plan your own wedding so so to be honest I only had about five I had a funny story actually buying the dresses I actually have two wedding dresses okay I got told five weeks before the wedding that I was getting married

and I was like oh my lord I have five weeks I have five weeks to get just but I think it's quite good because you're so fixated on the dress who's going to be invited is everybody happy does everybody know the plans I was booking you know taxis for my auntie the night before my wedding trying to like literally just trying to make every everything perfect I didn't even have time to worry about the fact I was meeting a stranger at the end of the order to marry him so I think that was actually helpful because you have so much to do you don't have time to think about what you're actually going to do I guess it's also the one benefit is you don't like sometimes I've so I've seen friends get married and their other

half is literally playing xbox until like three hours before they say their vows you don't have to stress about that because you don't know what he's doing no i have no idea what he's doing except for commenting on the itty bitty titties committee and my boobs the whole time yeah i personally got offended by that i got offended by it because i used to have those itty bitty titties so i was sat there like cool thank you for that yeah i just thought if only he knew like lucky he likes fake boobs because if you like natural boobs mine were tiny you can't make a comment like that and then not be okay with people having fake boobs no that's true you can't have it all no that's I'm sorry that's just a fact of life but at least it's one thing I know that he got that he must have liked because he made a lot of references to it and my dad was like oh it

was so hard watching that wedding with my family that was just the most awkward moment because I obviously didn't know what George had said either and I was just like I was sitting on the edge of my seat and my nieces want to sit on my lap and play and I'm like please just be quiet let me just hear what you said um it was hard I could actually I can imagine because everything's pre-recorded isn't it so it's not even like you can bring it up at a commitment ceremony no it's too late it's too late it's been it's done it's gone and I mean the honeymoon as well that did not do me any favors about the only fans comment yeah I I saw that I did see the only fans comment I wasn't really sure like

where like it looks like a trap question it looks like I was you know firing a loaded question at him to trick him and anything he said I wouldn't be happy with but that wasn't the case at all that's because that when I watched that that's how it came across to me I hated myself watching I was like oh my god Peggy like I know i was actually looking forward to the honeymoon because we had a great time then when i see i was like wow they have literally shown that the eight minutes of the drama we had in eight days and you know we'd had that conversation before yeah it was actually george being suggestive of explicit online content okay that i was like whoa does he want me to do that so that would have made that makes more sense yeah because when i

watched it i was like that's a massive overreaction to to like him saying like he's cool with it but then i was like but then if he said he wasn't cool with it is that also wrong like i don't he couldn't win yeah in that situation he couldn't win it was it was more the sudden change of mind um which I was just like okay but you know and I it's not that I condemn people that do it yeah like I am all for people working do whatever you need to do you know in your situation it was just something I didn't want to hear my husband who I'd met the day before you know on a flight to Thailand saying that I should do it or insinuating that I would get a lot of money if I was to do it yeah that would piss me off but then also like it would it

would really piss me off but like you wouldn't marry like if had you met that person before and like you had that conversation on date one you would never have pursued anything no and now you're on your way to your honeymoon yeah i was on a 13 and a half hour flight and there was like he was like oh babe i've lost my earphones i haven't got my earphones and i was like oh no that's all right i don't need them i was like get him his earphones please he needs earplugs i can't be the entertainment for this man for 13 and a half hours i was yeah i was thinking no god help me so please someone had my earplugs yeah anything i'll just get a toy something coloring books um so i can imagine actually it must be really frustrating for you when you're watching it and you're like this isn't how it was played out when

you were actually there yeah reality tv you just take everything you see with a pinch of salt yeah and i did i did say right whatever is shown it's shown you know but when there's so many people coming at you like you trapped him it was a loaded question i'm not like that i'm not that sort of girl to do that at all yeah i mean i was going to ask you what the trolling has been like yeah the trolling is it's more tough for me like I'll be honest I I feel like I've been one of the fortunate ones so far in terms of trolling the only trolling I got was for the honeymoon and it's more hurtful for me my family see in the comments and I think what where I'm quite strong I was like fine trolls you know that they don't impact me they are people that don't know me that are probably sitting at home that are really lonely and live very shallow lives

or unhappy with themselves at the same time i do feel sad for them because they must be in a really bad place to feel like they have to comment negatively on people they don't know's life yeah and what they see on tv it's not even them seeing it in real life for themselves to comment on they're commenting on a reality tv program where things are edited and there are people that you know they don't know what i'm going through in my life they don't know what my family are going through those trolls don't see the impact it has not just on the person they're attacking but the people that that person lives with their family their friends the people that care about them because my sister's fuming every time she sees one she's like oh my god i'm like holly just

leave it please hurricane holly please leave it you've done enough at the wedding i feel like siblings get really involved don't they oh yeah super protective oh yeah my sister bring me up this morning like peggy have you seen so and so story i'm like ho I'm like, honey, I don't care. I really don't care. I'm a bit busy at the moment. You wouldn't be able to get anything done, I think, if you focus on every single thing everybody ever said. No, and it will get into your head.

And I know how powerful the mind is. And like, I was worried about the fat comments. I'll be honest, because of my- Fat comments? Yeah, because of my eating disorder. Someone called you fat? I've had, yeah. I think she's pregnant.

And I felt like saying, thank you, but I actually have had an eating disorder someone called you fat I've had yeah I think she's pregnant and I felt like saying thank you but I actually have had an eating disorder I'm very fussy about the way I look in terms of I always feel like somebody's gonna judge me for being big because I'm tall as well and I felt like saying I would absolutely love to be pregnant because that is something I don't know I can be yet yeah well there's a whole cardinal rule you never mention that to a woman anyway no do you have no idea what someone's going through no but it's with trolling i always think with reality tv comment on the show comment on what you see but you don't know the person yeah and when journalists ask me like what you think about so and so on the show

and i'm like well you just have to wait to see that they come out is your true color show because you can pretend to be a character you can pretend you you probably know better just as much as i do if probably not more but like you can pretend to be a character or a person for an extended period of time when the camera's on and then when the camera's off in your own real life you can't keep up for the rest of your life no do you know i have to say i think i truly think it is impossible to do that process pretending you're somebody you're not really yeah are the cameras on 24 7 or not they're not on 24 7 okay um they are hi i'm richard karn and you may have seen me on tv talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose. Well, the brand new Pocket Hose Copperhead with Pocket Pivot is here,

and it's a total game changer. Old-fashioned hoses get kinks and creases at the spigot, but the Copperhead's Pocket Pivot swivels 360 degrees for full water flow and freedom to water with ease all around your home. When you're all done, this rust-proof anti-burst hose shrinks back down to pocket size for effortless handling and tidy storage. Plus, your super light and ultra durable pocket hose copperhead is backed with a 10-year warranty. What could be better than that? I'll tell you what, an exciting exclusive offer just for you. For a limited time, you can get a free pocket pivot and their 10-pattern sprayer

with the purchase of any size copperhead hose. Just text WATER to 64000. That's WATER to 64000 for your two free gifts with purchase. W-A-T-E-R to 64000. By texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Hose. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available at pockethose.com slash terms. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other job sites. With Indeed Sponsored Jobs, your post

jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates, so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed have 45% more applications than non-sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at indeed.com slash P-O-D K-A-T-Z 13. Just go to indeed.com slash P-O-D K-A- pod katz13 right now and support our show by saying you heard about indeed on this podcast terms and conditions apply hiring indeed is all you need around i would say probably on average 8 to 12 hours a day for everyone at dinner parties commitment ceremonies they are very long days. Imagine.

You are literally, you're sitting there, every cup on the sofa has about 45 minutes. So when there's 12 couples, that is 12 times 45. I'm not going to do the math. Yeah.

I don't know if I want to get married that badly. Yeah, no, exactly. And sometimes it's freezing cold and you're like, oh my God, it's freezing. Sometimes it's sweating hot. You know, I probably have sweat patches and everything because you get so nervous it's like

being in detention you walk in you see the experts i always call them the judges and everyone's like you're not an expert piggy i was like yeah but they're judging my relationship they are though yeah yourself your your your person like who you are and your relationship and they pick it apart and like every little thing you say gets picked apart I was terrified although I am confident yeah I have my insecurities like every woman yeah the way they look the way I talk you know you probably see at the hen party where it was my first time filming I feel like I was you know I had more gravitas than the way I spoke and every time i speak you know a bit more common like if you watched last night's dinner party and i was like you're just gel i don't know where that come from

i do not know where that come from why did i say that but that's the bit of like cockney essex coming out in me once i've had a few prosecco's you know and i'm not an alcoholic like so many people like sorry she drinks so much she's on the wine she's on the prosecco you're there for 12 hours probably the same glass as well you're probably holding the same glass for majority of the time it probably is you probably see it go like that as well i'm gonna now watch it really closely every time now honestly i'm like can i have the red wine i was asking for the red wine for george but i just look like i i get drunk and say what i think and the thing is i don't need alcohol to say what I think

I say what I think anyway yeah because I do believe honesty is the best policy I took a big risk in this program like my mum and dad weren't happy with it you know my job like I'm putting everything at risk like I potentially could never get another job in a financial industry after appearing on such a show yeah like if the edit went badly for you if the edit went bad or if I'd said something that I didn't mean if you know and just because I couldn't be customer facing anymore yeah because I'd have a background of being in the media or tv yeah it doesn't look professional and i completely understand that i took sabbatical took care of my parent and i went back because everything was settled everything was stable and i went back to work and i never thought i would do that then when we first had

the diagnosis i was like no that's it like i'm gonna just be at home i want to spend the rest of my parents lives that they have with them yeah i don't want to be at home i want to spend the rest of my parents lives that they have with them yeah i don't want to be at work and as soon as everything was stable again you get in a habit of routine like everything's normal now i'll go back to work i went back to work and then the doctor said to me look you are stressed yeah like your eating's back to normal you're exercising healthily it's called secondary amnorya hyperthalamic amnorya and they said if you want periods back and the chance of having a baby you need to be less stressed i went for the demotion still my period and then i thought right i'm gonna

change it because my mum said to me look babe you're not getting any younger you spent two years at home with us with covid i want to see you get married and she didn't know i was gonna apply for the show i didn't mean it literally okay that's what she said to me as well when the cameras went she went you're a fucking idiot what have you done what and i but mom you always tell me to listen to you she goes not with that bit i didn't mean i didn't mean for you to actually marry a stranger like do it conventionally just get out there and find someone not marry someone you don't know on telly just so I had another guest saying that they would say their advice is to listen always listen to your mum you've done it literally yeah yeah I have she

can't moan at me that way can she I've listened to her what mum does she want it also if she moans at you about it it sets a precedent that you should never listen to her exactly that's dangerous that's really dangerous and then mum should never admit that because it will go the wrong way that's very true um but I can imagine as a you know tall attractive woman in a male dominated field like that it's probably hell right it's gonna be hard it's hard you know I was you know a woman in tech I had it all for at university i was there's only two females on the course and then had it my first job i was told you know to wear no makeup wear my hair up dress less revealingly whilst i was in a roll neck um speak with more gravitas because i had more of an

essex accent and then working in a male and dominated environment you then get you know you're right in minutes you know you're now, you then get, you know, you're writing minutes. You know, you're now the admin person. You're like, whoa. People assume you're the PA because you're a woman. Yeah. I can imagine that's really frustrating all the time. So like what strategies did you have to develop

in order to be able to like navigate that and like get taken seriously? I think it was the the courses that I done with the qualifications they really do go down well so I did like COVID-5 and ITIL all the technological um that is your technology I did everything I could to try and get something behind me that was written evidence to say please look you know behind the eyelashes not that I even wore eyelashes to work I would never dream of it ever um I think for me it was just speaking I actually did change the way I spoke like I'm not sure if you've seen it on take me out I was like oh my god you're on take me out

as well yes I'm gonna go look for it later why did I even bring that up I might have watched it actually I was a big fan of the show I was going to go look for that later. Why did I even bring that up? I might have watched it actually. I was a big fan of the show. I was dark hair. I was, you know, dark hair. Like literally I had ebony black hair and it was only a year ago. I thought, right.

You know, they say like brunettes, they marry. Blondes have more fun. Yeah. I was brunette and no one was marrying me. Well, I can confirm that I am also brunette and you don't get married. No. I'm so far away from that

and maybe you should go blonde and marry a stranger I was thinking about going on maths the next thing on my list do it do you know what it's it's man I was just like right I'm just gonna go blonde blonde no one was marrying me as a brunette I'm gonna go blonde because blondes have more fun and there I was marrying a stranger so you honestly you couldn't make it up you could not make it up so you know when you were talking about like having to do all these extra curricular things just to be getting taken seriously in your career and it really annoys me when i see like i mean there are trolls out there that don't believe it exists like the whole gender pay gap where you get paid less even though you've

worked 10 times harder and you've done the extra qualifications just to prove that you are worth being there and then still not get taken seriously it does exist oh yeah 100 i mean we all know the types of people that say it doesn't exist you know it's it's it's tough i think the the toughest thing is when you are a female and you do like your girly girl things you do like hair extensions you do like makeup you know you I feel like at work I was somebody else yeah I was somebody that didn't say jokes you know didn't dress how I would want to dress or do my hair or makeup how I'd want to do my makeup so I felt less confident in myself and that makes it even harder because you're you just feel like you're not I think I had imposter syndrome yeah

no where you don't feel like you're good enough to be there and I felt like some of the comments that were made was more like I use you know if to add a bit of glamour even though I wasn't glamorous honestly me that makeup is not glamorous and it was just it was just difficult I feel like I had a fight or flight moment once in the boardroom with my old company's CEO and I was just it was just difficult I feel like I had a fight or flight moment once in the boardroom with my old company's CEO and I was talking about fraud risk management and I remember saying something and he said what's the stats on that and I said 83% and he if you're wrong that's it and I was like it's 83% I was like I've done my research and all the MDs at the table looked at me like have you just said that to the CEO and I thought you know what I'm just fed up I'm just fed

up of people thinking because I'm a female of a certain age and I look a certain way that I won't know my stuff. I mean you got to the room in the first place like on what merit or what reason like how did you get there in the first place i wasn't here like here to add a bit of glamour that's not the whole whole reason you got employed in the first place thank you you don't see glamour on a cv because when people see my cv and they see my name and then i show up they're like what the fuck's that you're standing you're absolutely because my name sounds like a 40 year old woman you're talking to a peggy yeah exactly so like when they look at your cv they're like oh yeah like middle-aged woman and then you rock up and you're like what the fuck yeah yeah people judge don't they yeah they do people judge or

even like where you live yeah if i people think i'm from essex i'm from kent but if i put you know kent on my cv it's like they don't expect me to turn up it's just it's it's really it is quite bad to be fair like even when I used to well when I was leaving I had to interview I think it was about 100 and something people for my role to replace me and it was so difficult to find somebody but it was this show if I'm honest I I'll be honest with you I did the show and I thought I want to meet my Prince Charming I just have a funny feeling I'm going to meet my Prince Charming I'm very optimistic I'm very spiritual I love all astronomy you know believe in star signs psychics mediums a lot everything um and I think as soon as you know

there were little breaking points in our relationship where you know I'm not saying he needed to be perfect because I'm not perfect but I do believe two people can be perfect together yeah we've compromised and some of the things he said like that the booby comment and some of the crude language I was thinking no this isn't my prince charming you know this is not the person I would have brought home to my dad um but there is one thing that I have learned is to follow your passions yeah and technology wasn't something that I've always been passionate about it's just something I've been good at good at it's been my education so um if anything it's enabled me and encouraged me to see my dreams of of my passions what would you what advice would

you give to women that are like wanting to get into that male-dominated industry and like don't know what they're doing or feel intimidated when you walk into the lecture hall and it's just you and another woman um I would like to think that if the interviewer now was a woman that she'd understand yeah because I can probably guarantee you that she's probably gone through a similar experience. So she'd probably be a bit more lenient or not lenient understanding of the person's situation. I'd probably just say for the girls now, I mean, there's more opportunities. You know, go to university, work hard. That's sort of like nothing good comes easy. and that's something my dad's taught me like you have to work hard it's not

just gonna I mean there's not a few people that get really lucky yeah really lucky like I do play the lottery still um I have done I love the old scratch card I love Vegas and I'm all for a casino um it's terrible isn't it honestly you wouldn't think i work in risk i used to as well have to hide the fact that i went to a casino um at work because they'd be like anti-casinos like you are technology technological risk person you cannot gamble you know it's like educated gambling yeah I call it educated gambling a bit of a pun on the horse and things like that ascot love it um but I felt like I couldn't be my true self and I did say to my boss when I finally told him about the show um I just said look please

don't judge me you know I was that person at work for you guys I do have more of a personality at home and I used to come home and cry I used to come home and cry because I used to be so drained of pretending I'm somebody I'm not at work to try and impress others yeah because of this I just feel like I had a barrier up where I had to not be my true self I couldn't be a young female who had a life you know I had to be just really straight to the point and I can imagine because you spend so much of your time and life at work and like if you work in a certain industry where they expect you to do 10 12 hour days that's hard to pretend to be someone you're not for that long period of time it was awful but then like i always say to girls now just be yourself because

eventually all the industries will just have to accept people being themselves yeah and that you can only pretend for so long right it's the same thing with the show you cannot pretend them cameras are in your face 24 7 when you don't want them to be in your face especially they are in your face you know at the worst moments they are there and you're like okay this is me you know this is this is reality you know take me or leave me you know I'm like mama you ever hate me or love me like fortunately the moment people uh I think it's really bad because that dinner party last night was the worst experience of my well my experience being on the show was kind of tarnished by that dinner party because that was the moment where I stood up for myself and I felt like everybody was against me yeah but I could see things happening and I thought i'm gonna have to i want to say because

i'm not being true to myself otherwise you know and if i'm if i say the wrong thing i will apologize yeah and you'll see in you know maybe later episodes that i apologize you know to ella who's my best friend i did not want to hurt her yeah of course because she was like a sister to me like although the girls say well you didn't spend much time with her I was getting to know my husband that is why the whole purpose of the reason how dare you be busy making friends when you should be talking to your husband yes exactly but no girls in this industry they just need to like you say be yourself be confident know know your shit first of all like don't pretend you don't know you have to actually know it but just work hard because you know if you don't try you won't get anywhere and just remember nobody's perfect like that person interviewing you if they go to the toilet that's all I imagine

I always imagine like they go to the toilet that person there has sat on a toilet seat so it's so random but I was told to think that and it's really worked a dream I'm never gonna be able to sit in a boardroom the same way ever again now not that I would but like I'm gonna never go to sit in a room like that ever again oh don't boardrooms petrify the hell out of me now um I actually went out with a narcissist um at the time when I was presenting and I had a a PA come into the boardroom just before my presentation and she said Iggy um we have an emergency you have to take the call now at times I'd be like oh really like right now but emergency family I yeah I melted always think the worst case right I thought mum dad they've fallen over something's happened I ran outside and it was my boyfriend at the time on the phone saying why are you not answering your phone uh yes he'd actually called up my work to pretend that he was my parents in a matter of urgency

to get me to answer my phone bear in mind we hadn't had an argument or anything like that so like that kind of mental abuse yeah really impacted me at work as well I wasn't being myself at work I was pretending to be someone I wasn't I was going home crying breaking down because I wasn't happy at work I wasn't happy with my relationship and I kind of didn't think I had anywhere else to go I think that's like how people end up or staying in relationships like that even if you're aware of the signs and you know it's happening and i feel like i don't have anywhere else to be yeah do you kind of just put up with it even though you know you shouldn't yeah i'll completely i stayed far too long in that place far too long

but i thought i thought i could change him i thought i could make him, you know, somebody that, not just for me, but for himself, to better himself. We used to have dinner on Valentine's Day. We was at Chop House by the Thames. And he said to me, I love you so much. Like, sometimes I just, I love you so much, I see red and I want to hurt you. And I thought. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other

job sites. With Indeed sponsored jobs, your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates. So you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs, your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates, so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed have 45% more applications than non-sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at Indeed.com slash P-O-D-K-A-T-Z 13. Just go to Indeed.com slash P-O-D-K-A-T-Z 13 right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. Hi, I'm Richard Karn, and you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose.

Well, the brand new Pocket Hose Copperhead with Pocket Pivot is here, and it's a total game changer. Old-fashioned hoses get kinks and creases at the spigot, but the Copperhead's Pocket Pivot swivels 360 degrees for full water flow and freedom to water with ease all around your home. When you're all done, this rust-proof anti-burst hose shrinks back down to pocket size for effortless handling and tidy storage. Plus, your super light and ultra durable pocket hose copperhead is backed with a 10-year warranty. What could be better than that? I'll tell you what, an exciting exclusive offer just for you. For a limited limited time you can get a free pocket pivot and their 10 pattern sprayer with the purchase of any size copperhead hose just text water to 64 000 that's water to 64 000 for your two free gifts with purchase w-a-t-e-r to 64 000 by texting

64 000 you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from pocket hose message and data rates may apply no purchase required terms apply available at pockethost.com slash terms no between on my stake here like i can't swallow no no yeah and that that for me was breaking point because i thought i'm actually in danger now where this this man can blame having ptsd him hurting me would then be you know you know some people say they're playing the mental health. And I know mental health is serious, but I just thought I can't do it to my family. It's like in a selfless way. I thought, I don't care what you do to me.

Just don't hurt my family. And then when I broke up with him three weeks later, this is a bear in mind, we've been together for two years. Three weeks later, I found out he'd moved to Australia and married a playboy bunny. This is what I mean. Like, this isn this isn't normal like this isn't normal behavior he changed his name and things like that oh you know so many red flags honestly and this is why i was single this is why i didn't trust men i was with someone for eight years he cheated on me after four years of being with him i got back with him for another four years um because I thought I wasn't good enough and that he could do better better than me and I better just stay with him

then I thought no I can't have a child with somebody who's betrayed me yeah this is the thing like I always get young women messaging me saying like what can I do like x y and z for my boy no don't just don't that's how and I know it sucks and it hurts and especially when you're younger you think your relationship that you're in your teenage years is the be all and end all and that's the the center of your universe it's not yeah and like when you get when you get older and you look back on certain things you think why the fuck would i do that like why was i there oh like you look at them later and you think of them in such a different way because you're like you're an awful person yeah so just don't like it's like, you're an awful person. Yeah. So just don't.

Like when you're young, you're so fixated on everything that's happening in that current moment in time. But when you get older, you'll be glad and grateful to yourself. It's mad though because you become obsessed with them, don't you? Yeah. And I see that in Shona and Brad. I think that was the trigger for me was because I've experienced it before. Yeah.

And I could see the movements and the comments that Brad was making and Shona wasn't saying anything. And Shona didn't have anybody to stick up for her other than myself and Laura. And that's why I had to say it, because it can be dangerous. It can be. If it gets to a certain point, it's dangerous. And she was becoming more and more and more obsessed with him and losing herself as

a person by giving and that's hard to see one of your friends like and bear in mind that we've just met each other yes i get that when you're in that environment you've gone through the same process at the hemp i you automatically have a connection i think the thing is people forget that sometimes time's not an indicator of how close you can be to somebody and especially when you're in that really hyper sensitive fast-paced environment like you've just jumped into a marriage headfirst so like jumping into a friendship headfirst would not come as a surprise to anyone no it's easier yeah exactly because you're not married to them so i always ask all of the guests the same final question okay it's quite wordy um if you could offer a piece of advice to your younger self based on your life and career journey so far what would it be

100 it would be follow your passions do something you are passionate about and what makes you happy be less selfless care about yourself more and don't worry about what other people say or think you are your own person just be yourself you can't be anything else and if you try and be something else you can only do it for so long before you burn out and burning out can have significant health mentally and physically and honestly thank you so much for coming down and sharing everything with me like i know like i could see at certain points like even though i just met you i was like oh my god i'm about to make this woman cry thank you so i was like really like please don't make this woman cry i'm literally just mad i'm gonna like an awful person but um no honestly i'm really grateful for you being so open

and like i just know firsthand that when you're open about certain things that help so many people so you definitely would have helped somebody oh thank you so much i feel like i've had therapy with you it's bad it's i am an emotional wreck anyway so honestly i'm surprised you didn't make me cry by sitting down on the sofa. It's bringing back PTSD. I should have renamed the podcast. It's not Girls Know Nothing. It's Therapy with Sharon.

Yeah. It's the new podcast name. But no, honestly, thank you. Thank you for having me. Hi, I'm Richard Karn. And you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose. Well, the brand new Pocket Hose Copperhead with Pocket Pivot is here, and it's a total game changer.

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your two free gifts with purchase. W-A-T-E-R to 64,000. By texting 64,000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Hose. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available at pockethose.com slash terms.