Girls Know Nothing - S2 Ep48: Erica Roberts | Truth About #Mafs, Eating Disorder & Social Anxiety

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

GKN is a female-focused podcast hosted by  @SharonNJGaffka GKN Social Channels:  Https://linktr.ee/girlsknownothing  Instagram: @girlsknownothingpod  Tiktok: @girlsknownothingpod TikTok: @girlsknownothing

Hi, I'm Richard Karn, and you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose. Well, the brand new Pocket Hose Copperhead with Pocket Pivot is here, and it's a total game changer. Old-fashioned hoses get kinks and creases at the spigot, but the Copperhead's Pocket Pivot swivels 360 degrees for full water flow and freedom to water with ease all around your home. When you're all done, this rust-proof anti-burst hose shrinks back down to pocket size for effortless handling and tidy storage. Plus, your super light and ultra-durable pocket hose Copperhead is backed with a 10-year warranty. What could be better than that? I'll tell you what, an exciting exclusive offer just for you. For a limited time, you can get a free pocket pivot and their 10-patter pattern sprayer with the purchase of any size copperhead hose.

Just text water to 64,000. That's water to 64,000 for your two free gifts with purchase. W-A-T-E-R to 64,000. By texting 64,000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Hose. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available at pockethose.com slash terms. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other job sites.

With Indeed Sponsored Jobs, your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates, so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed have 45% more applications than non-sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed. And listeners of this show will get-K-A-T-Z 13. Just go to Indeed.com slash P-O-D-K-A-T-Z 13 right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. I did have social anxiety after the show came out. I was like, I don't want to go anywhere because I think that what I'm seeing online is what everyone thinks of me and like people think

that I'm this person that I'm not so I would go out and be like I'd walk into a room and be like everyone in here hates me do you know what I mean

I'd be like everyone hates me in this room do you know I had that a little bit as well that I didn't think I didn't walk into a room and think everybody hates me

I walked into a room and thought everyone here has seen my ass laughing welcome back to another episode of Girls Know Nothing. Today's guest found fame on the hit TV show Married at First Sight UK. Erica stole the show with her iconic outfits, Scottish wit and her strong confident demeanor but she also has a background in professional

dance and musical theatre. Erica's infectious personality captivated the audience and has gained a loyal following of combined on all social media platforms of 230,000. So welcome to the studio Erica. Why did you want to do maths? Um you know what when I first got approached for the show. Oh they scout people for it? Yeah yeah so they I just got a message it was a girl Nicole she was actually trying she tried to get me on love island like the year before and then okay that like that kind of just all passed over like nothing came of it and then she was like please can I put you forward for maths and I was like absolutely not I was like no way in hell like I I am crazy but I'm not that crazy like I'm I'm not doing that

it just wasn't for me and then I don't know like I was kind of thinking about it and I'd gone through a bit of a horrible situation with my ex like a really bad breakup and a lot happened there and it was literally like a couple weeks after what happened with him she messaged me again and was like Erica please like please can I put you forward for it and I kind of thought I was like look taking a look at my past relationships I was like maybe I need this I was like maybe I need these experts to come and help me and be like this is where you're going wrong this is like why your relationships haven't worked in the past and I just thought it's been handed to me

yeah there's clearly a reason why the universe is saying like this has came to you if if it works amazing that's exactly what you want you want to find someone you want to like find someone you can spend the rest of your life with if that works amazing if not then you can learn from it you'll probably learn so much about yourself from doing it so So I kind of just thought, you know what? Go on then. Like, we'll see what happens. But I didn't think anything would have, I didn't think anything would come from it.

Like, I didn't think I'd get to the end stages and they'd be like, okay, you're actually getting married. Like, I just never thought. Well, every woman I've spoken to that does like a love-based reality or dating-based reality show has literally said that they've just broken up with their man

or they've like had a really bad time and then they get scouted and they're like, do you know what? I'm going to do it. So, you know, you're not the first and you're probably not going to be the last because that literally happened to me too.

I was like, well, I didn't get scouted, but I thought like I had a bad experience. I was like, I'm just going to do it. Yeah, what else would you do though? Do you know what I mean? I was like, I can either stay at home and be sad and cry for the next few months or I can go get married on tv like yeah you did a more extreme thing than me like getting married is sort of another level but we all know that like reality tv doesn't always portray you in the best light particularly

do you know from my experience particularly women I've spoken to so many people and I'm like you're so much nicer in real life than you are on tv yeah so what was it like like watching yourself because you do get to watch yourself back don't you because it's pre-recorded yeah and then you watch it when it comes out with everyone else so it came out about six months after we'd filmed it we finished filming in May and then it aired in like September October October time. But honestly, living it, I absolutely loved it. Like the whole experiment, I really enjoyed my time living it.

Watching it back was hell. Like watching something back that you've lived and seeing how different it's portrayed to how you actually lived it was wild and obviously you kind of see yourself in a different light as well like there's so many like mannerisms that I do and like the way I look at like look at people or even like my hand gestures I was like oh my god like I've never noticed this about me before like it's so strange watching yourself back but I think as well in my head the whole time I was like there's no way that I could be able to get a bad edit like I don't think I've done anything bad and I don't

think I could be portrayed badly I'll find something oh I was so wrong like oh my god I was so wrong about that because I feel like they really did portray Jordan and I in such a bad light like what you've seen on the show was not our relationship and how we were um and again they obviously have to show what they want to show to create a narrative to create the most drama like I get it it has to be entertaining yeah so I I get it but at the same time it's like they've used like the worst parts of you and only shown like one dimension of your personality and like who you are as a person like there were so many incredible lovely moments that I had with like the rest of the cast or like with Jordan and they just didn't show that whereas like when you watch it back it looks as if it was Jordan and I against the cast. Yeah. And like, everyone hated us and we were kind of

like the outsiders. Whereas, that wasn't the case. Like, living it, it wasn't like that. Like, we genuinely did get on with everyone.

Is it better or worse to be able to watch it being shown to everyone else or like, because obviously when I did it, it was like, I was in it. Yeah.

So I didn't get to watch it at the same time as everyone else. So I didn't get to hear and see people's comments. But I also, I haven't figured out if that's better or worse I think that would be better do you think because you can't defend yourself if you watch something and I think as well like because we obviously it's the same sense where you don't know what's going to be shown you don't know how they're going to edit it you have no idea but I would sit after every episode or while the episode was on and scroll and scroll through

Twitter seeing what people were saying what people's opinions were of me like reading my DMs going through comments and like after like a week doing that I was like I need to stop this like I'm actually gonna make myself ill if I keep reading all these comments because people can be so nasty like the things people were saying I was just like I can't I was like why are you so nasty like the things people were saying I was just like again I was like why are you so offended like you don't know me you've never met me like I don't understand how people can be so invested and think that they know people based on a 45 minute episode that they see four times a week did it give you anxiety when it was like gonna it was like countdown to when the next episode came oh yeah like every night at 9 o'clock

I'd have to literally prepare myself like me and Jordan agreed that we we wanted to watch every episode together and I think

I needed him there with me whilst watching it because if not I think my anxiety would have genuinely been through the roof like he was very good with he doesn't care about

the hate comments like I think he'd actually rather be hated than loved like he's like yep hate sells I wish we had that yeah literally whereas I'm like I'm the complete opposite like I wouldn't understand why people would be saying anything bad because it's like I know the person that I am and it's like I don't know how you could say all these nasty things when I haven't done anything bad like as a person so that that was tough and seeing people's comments

and whatever like see people that came from my appearance and whatever, like I literally don't care. It's when they come from my character or like they said things about my family, like they would bring things to do my family into it as well. And I was just like, that's where I draw the line. Like I don't understand a person

who can come on social media behind a screen and give people abuse like to me that's like yeah psycho behavior like why it's also really bizarre to me because we've like for years for as long as reality tvs existed particularly with the rise in social media everyone's always said like you know be kind we know it's dramatized you know you don't know the people but people like even now I have to like I watch something and I have to like question whether when I write a comment on it is that helpful to anyone yeah or am I just staring the pot yeah I feel like I see tv now so differently yeah like even watching love island back now I'm like hmm but how much of that is actually real

like what actually like because you you just don't know and like I know how much of that is actually real? Like, what actually? Because you just don't know. And I know how much things can be heavily edited and how situations can kind of be manipulated behind the scenes and stuff like that. So you just don't know. But it's mad to me that we've had reality TV has been around for such a long time now and there's still people out there that think it is like... yeah there's the whole truth of what you see on screen is like the bread and butter

do you know what I mean they think that that is the it gets exhausting trying to like tell people that though or like trying do you find now that you have to consistently work harder to prove that you are not what everybody sees on TV. Yeah, it's strange. When I meet people in the street and stuff, people are like, oh my God, I watched the show. Like, I thought you were a bitch, but you're really nice. I'm like, yeah, I know. But it is strange because you feel, I do feel myself being overly nice to people now, whereas before I would just be naturally, like, be myself whereas now it's kind of like if they've said they've watched the show I'm like okay I hope I don't want them to think that I am that person they've seen from the edit because that wasn't a real portrayal of me as a person so I think I'm more cautious of it now whereas before

I was obviously just me like take me or leave me kind of thing yeah that's how it is but I think when people approach me and say they've watched the show um and they they loved it whatever I'm always like oh god like you've clearly seen me in a completely different light and might think I'm an absolute bitch when that's not the case at all so I do kind of see myself being more like oh my god like do you know what I mean like just trying to like show that I'm not that person that was portrayed on the show I'm getting better at it now just being like I am who I am this is me like but I think when I first came around I was so cautious of how I was interacting with people who were coming up to us and like the streets and in shops and stuff like I was very aware of just how I was coming across it gets quite exhausting trying to be

performative 24 7 because like I've noticed it when I record this podcast like my thinking face gives resting bitch face same and people comment on it all the time being like why is she so miserable I'm like this is just me concentrating and like if I have a bad day like I'm sure you've had it too if you're having a bad day which is perfectly normal and human you have to like be a performative monkey 24 7 so people don't hate you or tell people that I actually met her and she's not a very nice person and like you're just like like it's hard though like I again like I have found it quite draining coming out and being hi I'm Richard K, and you may have seen me on TV

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Indeed. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at indeed.com slash pod katz13 just go to indeed.com slash pod katz13 right now and support our show by saying you heard about indeed on this podcast terms and conditions apply hiring indeed is all you need having having to put on that front sometimes because I think with reading all the comments and stuff and the anxiety that gave me it's like now when I meet people I did have social anxiety after the show came out I was like I don't want to go anywhere because I think that what I'm seeing online is what everyone thinks of me and like people think that I'm this person that I'm not so I would go out and be like I'd walk into a room and be like everyone in here

hates me do you know what I mean I'd like into a room and be like, everyone in here hates me. Do you know what I mean? I'd be like, everyone hates me in this room. But I've learned now that that's obviously not the case. But coming straight off the back of the show, I was like, it was hell. Do you know, I had that a little bit as well. I didn't walk into a room and think everybody hates me. I walked into a room and thought, everyone here has seen my ass.

That is all I thought every time I went to the supermarket you've probably seen me half naked so this isn't my greatest moment that's so funny you're still are you still with Jordan yeah I was gonna say to you like it's probably a little bit easier to do it with somebody as opposed to like having done it and then go back to like trying to date yeah yeah I think I'd find that really difficult I think as well going on a show like Married at First Sight I feel like is such a huge risk it's not again if you're going on the show for the right reasons obviously you want to go in there to find love but you also know that that comes with the fact that you are in some way going to be put in the

public eye you're going to have people having all sorts of opinions of you that being like the press writing all sorts of nonsense you know I mean it comes with that yeah it's not like you're just getting to marry a stranger and actually see who it is behind closed doors like you are going to be in like the limelight and you're doing it for people at home's entertainment yeah at the end of the day like that's what that you need to know that that is what's going to happen regardless if it works out or not and I think for me it was just such a huge risk of if it didn't work out and if I don't end up with the person that I actually go in there and marry is it worth is it worth that do you know what I mean because it's not guaranteed that anything really that good could come off the back of the show apart from like a whole lot of abuse

online well marriages are like very very deeply personal experiences aren't they and like you know everyone anyone that's in a relationship or is married or has been like will know how tough and intense it can be so to have every single nitty-gritty argument you ever have like whether it's about dirty socks or something bigger or like having infidelity between your like broadcasted to the nation and then put into the press must be like really testing to the trust in your relationship it was tough I think obviously when you're again like living it was so good like I really enjoyed the process of living it it was more after when you have that all that outside noise

along with it and what I found the hardest watching it back was you have to relive arguments that you've had with like me and Jordan were reliving these arguments that we had six months ago yeah so I'd be sitting watching it thinking I can't believe you said that and like I'd be sitting there like how dare you like and I'd be like no Erica this was six months ago like we're not mad about this anymore but it does like naturally and he would do the same he'd be like can't believe you said that like what do you mean by that and but I'm like you have to remember like this was six months ago and then you have all these people like either messaging you

or even now people come up to us and be like oh my god I can't believe this happened like what what did you do when like this happened

and we're kind of like it goes over our heads because we're like we're so past that now we're kind of like maths has been undone you know like we kind of want to move on

from that now but every time we meet people it's like we have to they want to ask questions they want to know what happened when like you can't blame them yeah of course like I'd be the exact same do you know what I mean um but again having the outside noise along trying to navigate a relationship that's still quite new and still fresh obviously we had the experiment we were we were in there we were living together we're with each other 24 7 you come out of that and you kind of you have to live your normal life

but now with this new relationship that you it's bizarre because you kind of feel like you're taking a step back from what you lived in the experiment yeah Yeah, I think as well, I mean, I've not had a relationship in the public eye in that way, but it can be, I guess, for you guys watching it back, if there's things that he potentially said to his friends or you potentially said to your friends

and neither of you knew about it and like it gets brought up, how do you deal with that when you're watching it? I think with us, it was just reassurance. It was so important to remind each other that yeah we did say that that is how we felt at the time and obviously there's always a reason for why you say things or why you felt a certain way I think as long as we reassured each other we knew that that's not how we felt now yeah but maybe at that time we were pissed off and angry and that's how

we reacted but it was just reminding each other like that was then this is now we've come so much further from then then like we can't get caught up on that no I always have the highest regard for relationships that stem from reality tv that actually lasts the process because your trust is really tested in it and outside it because you have loads of outside noise but then to spend 24 hours with each other spend like share a bed with each other from day one to then having to try and have your own life and balance the relationship what what is that like you You know what? It's been tough. I think with us, though, we have really made the effort to make sure we see each other as much as we can.

We've not really had much time apart since coming out of the experiment, which has been nice. So we've kind of worked on how we can integrate each other into each other's lives. And I think we've just kind of slotted into that quite easily it's not been too bad but we're planning on moving to Manchester together that's

the next move yeah we've been viewing houses like all last week so that was fun it was like it kind of felt real now I was like oh we're actually doing this yeah like I feel like I'm like grown up now which was yeah it's been nice I hope that we get something sorted soon but again like what you were saying with the like having a relationship

and having people commenting on it and like press and everything obviously there was the big scandal that

Jordan had apparently kissed a girl on a night out and that was the reunion episode where that all kind of kicked off and I went crazy like I literally lost my shit because I was like I think for me that was just so triggering like I've been in that position before

Jordan was probably one guy that I've been with where I was like he would never do anything like that to me like I just I really did trust him and then for that to come out was awful then for it to be in the press like six months later having to relive it again it was just like oh it does bring it all back and he was amazing with that though like with reassuring me and telling me that like I that I I know that I trust him you know like I needed to remember that in that moment it did feel like the cast kind of also had a big part to play in that because it was them that told me that he'd obviously kissed a girl on a night out whereas he hadn't it was a girl tried to kiss him and whatever else but they've relayed this information to me

six weeks after it happened like why are you waiting until we're back on on screen back in front of a camera to tell me this information yeah you don't know like because there were as much as like you want to believe that everyone that is there for genuine reasons they might not be so if someone's like desperate to get a bit of air time they're gonna say whatever they need to say absolutely I don't have time for that like I just don't have time for that well you guys are still together who's the real winner here do you know what I mean like who needs air time when you got what you wanted exactly I literally I got out of it what I wanted to get out of it and I'm so happy now

and like our relationships only go from strength to strength so I was going to ask you if you regretted doing maths instead of Love Island but obviously not nah

I think I made the right choice with doing with doing maths I was trying to figure out what season of Love Island you would have been on mmm who was on that season

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with the purchase of any size Copperhead hose. Just text WATER to 64000. That's WATER to 64000 for your two free gifts with purchase. W-A-T-E-R to 64000. By texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Hose. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available at pockethose.com slash terms. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed.

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and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. Like Dami in India. Okay. Would have been a good season to be fair. Yeah, probably would have been a good season.

Oh, well, everything has a reason. I wouldn't have met Jordan so exactly but you know like we were talking about how you've had like you weren't too upset to see people commenting about your appearance but eventually it does oh yeah get to you right yeah how did you manage that oh even recently like I went to an event the other day for debnums and all the like so many of the comments on the post is like is she pregnant she's pregnant oh my god the bum fucking when are you expecting and like from men and women and like I can't bite my tongue over that I'm just like how how dare you like why would you make a cop why would you make comments like that on another woman's body which has absolutely nothing to do with you it's none of your business and that honestly it just gets

me riled up like I think that's so out of order for anyone to make comments and assumptions like that and I think for me as well my weight has always been something that I have really struggled with like I have a background in dance yeah so I was in like really intense vocational training from the age of 12 where I was the only girl in the class that got sent to the nutritionist and of all the girls and they would tell my mom at parents evening that I had like soft muscle tissue like I was a 12 year old girl going for puberty like yeah I might have had a little bit of puppy fat and but just because I wasn't't stick thin as a ballerina, they was like, yep, she needs to go to the nutritionist.

But I was the only girl in the class and they would weigh us after every holiday in front of the whole class. So we all knew how much each other weighed. And yeah, it was hell. So it's something that I've had to deal with from being really young, like always having to have,

like watch what I eat. I've struggled with like eating disorders and I ended up being like six and a half stone at one point when I was like 19 and to the point where I was like really ill because of how damaging the things that teachers and just being in that environment was so I think now when I see comments like that I do have a thick skin to it but but I'm also quite a sensitive person like I do put on a front where I'm like confident I don't care what people say but deep down I am quite sensitive and stuff like that it definitely is a trigger because it's like it takes me back to being like that 12 year old girl that didn't think there was anything wrong with her

and kind of got absolutely bashed for just having a woman's body. That was literally all it was. It really fucks me off when I see those comments under people's content on social media. From men, I think you're just stupid. Oh, I had to message them. I sent them this big paragraph and I was like, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to offend you just like but from women I find it more baffling because we know

that women's bodies fluctuates changes with their with your hormone cycle with your periods also the fact that we have certain organs oh literally I'm like that's my uterus like thank you yeah and also I have an underactive thyroid which I was diagnosed with like three years ago and that sometimes can really affect me like if if it's if my medication's not working as well or I don't know like I would say it affects my metabolism it affects where I store my weight and it can affect my moods anxiety so having an undirected thyroid there if I'm not working out non-stop I am naturally just going to put on weight a lot quicker than the average person yeah and I think with life being so busy coming off the show and stuff I haven't been at the gym

I haven't been training I've not I've been living my life I've been drinking a lot of prosecco going to events eating food do you know what I mean? I've been living my life. Like I've not been, I've not been going to the gym. Like I've completely fell off my routine and, and worrying about my diet and watching what I eat. Like I have just been having fun and enjoying myself. And everyone says as well, after you get in a relationship, you put on a better weight, don't you? Like you absolutely do. And I think that is maybe just that so yeah I'm not pregnant I just just having a good life it's a blanket at Christmas yeah I guess like it is it's one of those things that I think happens more with women than it does with men coming off reality tv because like getting

back to a routine is so fucking hard and I remember I remember saying to my personal trainer so I have like a someone who makes all my plans and stuff and I had them way before like Love Island for a good few years and then yeah I did the show and then I came off and then I remember saying to them like I want to live my life I want to because you know it's very short-lived isn't it like the lifestyle after you want to enjoy it for that moment but also I'm terrified of certain people writing things about your weight and I see it happen to like my friends and like it's even harder for your family to read these comments about you right so what's it like for your family to like see these comments written about you

honestly I think that my mom she can't bite her tongue so like when she was seeing all these comments about me yeah not surprised to be fair my gran it would upset her so I live with my gran at the moment so when she was like seeing all this stuff about me she's like Erica I can't believe they're saying this about you and saying that and I'm like please don't read it I'm like like just don't pay attention to it and whatever but I think she found it quite hard whereas like my mum she she can't bite her tongue so when she was seeing these comments about me and stuff she would be messaging the people replying to all the comments and I was like mommy stop this like just leave it because there's no point you can't argue with these people like they're saddles sat

at home writing abuse to a stranger yeah to a little stranger like we know we would never do that to someone so you just need to let them let them be like don't even entertain it because that's exactly what they want my dad did the same thing he's retired so he would like go through daily mail comments and just write I just don't do it I mean he's got nothing better to do now but like obviously you were talking about earlier how you did performing arts was that something was that a dream for you to always do performing arts so I would say like dance was always what I wanted to do like it's cliche as cliche as it is like dance was my one like my first love do you know what I mean like my one true love was dance and I went into vocational training um when I was really young at 12 which was so intense was it was at boarding school had to

like move away from home yeah so did that for five years then I moved to London when I was 17 and went to uni to do dance and musical theatre and then I think there I just started to slowly lose my love for it I think it became more of a a chore because of how intense and how hard it was they literally suck the life out of you like they suck all your passion for what you love out of you like which is so sad and I I ended up going on to teach yeah which was amazing like I was so happy that I could still continue to do that and to be honest I found teaching so much more rewarding because I think with what I'd been through at dance college and the way they treated us and

how awful it was and the things they'd say to you like you'd come into class and if you didn't have makeup on they'd be like you look an absolute state get out and like yeah it was terrible like grown men like our teachers who were like grown men wow would be like you look disgusting get out like I don't want to look at you if you look like that you'd have to go out in the class and put makeup on then come back like I remember I literally had like a hole in my tights my ballet tights was about this big and he was like get out in the class like I don't want to see you I don't want to look at you don't come back until you find another pair of tights I was like well where do you where do you want to get a pair of tights from so I just was like I'm not coming back I was a massive tomboy I literally look like a state all the time I was like me I was like what do you mean I've got up at 7 30 to come to a ballet

class where I know you're going to absolutely grill me for two hours like do you think that I want to like I'm not ready for this like everyone had extreme anxiety walking into the classes and it was just it was just a lot and I think you can't love what you do in that kind of environment when it's an environment that's not nurturing you and it's literally just tearing you down you're gonna end up losing your love for it and I think slowly after time that's just kind of what happened I think it's with a lot of professions if you know is that highly competitive you don't always know if you're going to reach the dream and the end goal so it must be really hard to still like if you would like to get up every single day and like be spoken to like that but know that you are definitely going to be able to do yeah what you love for the rest of your life

it's like it might be worth it but if you know that it's so competitive that you may never get to do it, I guess there's always like a playing in your mind, right? Yeah, I think because I went down at 17, I thought I was all grown up and I was old and I knew what I wanted and all this. But looking back, like I so didn't. Like I was so young.

I was quite immature. I just wanted to have a good time. And I think I was going through a lot at that point in life as well and I was in a really toxic relationship whilst I was there at uni and that really distracted me from focusing on me and focusing on what I wanted to get out of actually being there so by the end of it I still didn't have a clear vision of what I wanted because my mind had not been in it the whole time. And I think that along with how mentally exhausting

and mentally challenging it was just waking up every day and turning up to go there, I just lost my vision for what I really wanted to do, which is sad. And then COVID hit so I was like oh yeah I was like oh god like I really don't know what I'm gonna do now because then all there was nothing happening like there was no like no theaters open there was no dance jobs available and then it was after that well I moved back to Edinburgh and I just started teaching and

honestly like I always said to myself I will never teach teach. I was like, it's not for me. I wouldn't enjoy it. And then I gave it a go and it was just so rewarding for me to be able to give these kids kind of what I didn't get growing up. And the way that I was taught was like tough love, reverse psychology. Like, and for me, sometimes it did work.

So I was like like if you tell me I can't do something I'm gonna do it 10 times harder like I'm gonna do it 10 times better like watch me do it so for me that did work but for a lot of other people I watched people being absolutely like torn apart and their dreams literally like ripped away from them because they couldn't deal with how mentally challenging it was as well and and the pressure and how nasty teachers could be and I just think for like the younger generation like teaching them and stuff I would never want them to lose their love and lose their sight of of what they actually want to do it's like there's always this stigma isn't it the people

that go on to teach or any teaching because they weren't able yeah they weren't able to be successful in their own right but like you said you found it so much more rewarding and I guess like hopefully like your well your students won't sit there and however many years time and say they had the exact same spirit experience as you and like I guess it must have ruined your like you carry your childhood trauma don't you oh yeah your low self-esteem into your adult life and now that you are like a content creator and you put a lot of your personal life out online how do you know what to put out online and what to keep personal to yourself in order to be able to protect your self-esteem you know I think for me,

this is something I have struggled with because, you know, you see all these people online and they literally have everything. Like people know everything about them. Their whole life is out there on social media. And if that's what they want, then that's cool, that's up to them. But for me, I struggle to share everything.

Like I couldn't do that. Like that's up to them but for me I struggle to share everything like I couldn't I couldn't do that like there's things to me that will always just be for me and I wouldn't want to put put everything online even stuff with like I know I feel like I've had a lot of like family stuff going on and and stuff like that I would never want to do that to them either um I think it's just knowing yourself and knowing what what you think is okay and what you want people knowing do you know what I mean like what do you want people to know like I'm I kind of I overthink it I think do you think I was gonna ask you how do you set that boundary I think I'm so cautious of it because because I'm so aware of what people can say and the backlash things can get I'm like overly aware of what I'm going to say and what I put out there because I don't know how that could be taken like

it's going to be taken into the wrong way or the wrong context or even I think before the show I was already like that but even now after the show, I'm like, Oh my God, things can get completely misconstrued that you say one thing and it's turned into. It's like hyper-infated. Yeah. I mean, what would you, would you give,

what advice would you give to any young person that was watching and wanted to pursue performing arts and was maybe a little bit worried about the way that their teachers were handling them? Oh, um, Hi, I'm Richard Karn, and you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's

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happens like honestly the things we get said it's like oh the audience need to see more bone like obviously if they want like if you weren't something I've never thought about but that's the things that we were getting told and it's like looking back it's like we knew how wrong it was yeah so I would just say if you are experiencing anything like that please just speak up and have a voice and because you know what's right and you know what's wrong and hopefully the more people that do speak up about it it can start to change and I do think there has been a change because I've seen the BBC brought out like a documentary on um some of the ballet skills yeah and it's crazy because I could relate to every single thing that they were saying so I just think the more we talk about it the more people are knowing of how like toxic these environments can be and something definitely does need to change within these schools until we do all start making noise

about it I don't think things will change it's weird that like in that industry it's normalized to be made to be miserable and to suffer like it's normal to suffer yeah like that's what they say like it's tough like you need to be tough you need to have a thick skin and I think that is why I have built such a barrier up with myself and because I don't I don't like to be vulnerable I don't like people to see that side of me because I've always had to be strong like even in class it's like if you're gonna cry you can leave so it's like I've always had that poker face like you will not catch me crying like you will not catch me like even at boarding school the girls I started when I was 12 the girls didn't see me cry till I was 15 that's because I was like I was like there's no way like I was completely

shut off and that's the only way I could like deal with my emotions was like if I just put put all the bad stuff to the back of my head and kind of just forget that it's there then I'll then then I'll be I'll be cool like I just think like I always thought I was a tough cookie but actually like because I could go home and close the door and have a little cry and then I wouldn't I wouldn't because obviously I was living with these people like I just wouldn't I would even I would go home at weekends but even then because I think if I allowed myself to cry, even when I was alone, I was scared of like, what, how, how far would that go? Like how upset would I be? And would I ever, I don't know, this is so silly. I would think that if I was that upset, would I be able to switch back into shut off modes? It's like putting everything into a box as long as you don't open the lid.

Yeah. It can't explode. Yeah. But eventually it does explode eventually you do yeah absolutely and it always happens when you're an adult oh yeah it's always later on you're like why like oh shit this is from when I was like 12 but apart from moving to Manchester with Jordan what's next for you um so I actually have something quite exciting happening with me and Adrienne she was on the show with me we literally got such an amazing friendship coming off the show um she's my bestie like I know that she's someone that I will always treasure and have in my life we have recently been working with Be Perfect oh my god amazing yeah and we're coming out with our own like Galentine's bundle we have our own collection coming out with them yeah it's really cute

I know so absolutely buzzing for that oh okay I I like that we're seeing those kinds of collaborations amongst women because it's nice to like actually I find that you get more by partnering up collaborating not competition oh I think it's the phrase and I think finding someone who obviously me and Adrienne are really alike so obviously coming off the show there has been interest in the same kind of things that we both want to do I think the fact that we can maintain such a healthy relationship and just be each other's cheerleaders rather than thinking oh my god she's getting this and like why am not getting that? And I think the fact that we're so not like that at all is just so nice because I think it can be.

It's hard to find in this industry. Some of the girls on the show, I know probably wouldn't have that same approach with things and they can be a bit bitter and have, I don't know, they've got like one-sided beef with themselves, but they think we have beef. And I'm like, babe, whatever they've got like one-sided beef with themselves but they think we have beef and I'm like babe, whatever beef you have is one-sided I'm not here for that. Do you know what?

Having beef is too much energy. Yeah, I don't have time for it. You do you, I'll do me. That's cool but the fact that we get to do this together and there's no competition and it's a completely we're just happy for each other and even happier that we can do it together. Oh, I love that. Yeah. yeah I'm so good I always ask my guests the same final question okay so if you could give your

younger self a piece of advice based on your life and career journey so far yeah what would it be oh god I love that question it's a really long question yeah but the fact that I love anything to do with like what would you give to your younger self? Because I want to say, first of all, I'd give her a hug, a big hug. Oh, that's really nice. And I would say to not doubt myself, like believe in you and know that like no one else is you, as cliche as that is, like you are your superpower and you need to own that and just own who you are because that's what's going to get you through

and just to just believe in yourself I think one thing about me is I always have that doubt in the back of my mind is like oh but what if I'm not good enough or what if this doesn't work out or what if it doesn't happen I think just go for it like grab whatever you can buy the balls and just go for it because I think I would need to hear that. Yeah, whatever you need to do, just do it. But at the end of the day, like you have to just believe in yourself and know that you are good enough.