God Awful Movies - 132: Invisible Enemies

Episode Date: February 27, 2018

This week, guest masochists Thomas Smith and Aaron Rabi of the Philosophers in Space podcast join us to talk about a movie about magical glasses and pornography; their collective areas of expertise. To learn more about Philosophers in Space, [click here](https://www.facebook.com/0gPhilosophy/). To check out some of Aaron's other work, [click here](https://voidpod.com/podcasts/). To check out more of Thomas's other stuff, [click here](https://seriouspod.com/).  Or [here](https://openargs.com/).  Or [here](https://comedyshoeshine.com/). --- If you’d like to pick up a copy of our latest ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

We're all married here. We've all had that like pretending to be overly surprised. Oh, yeah, I was just jacking off on your porch Sorry, I was just a Wikipediaing women's rights here And I was just reading some grace Lee Boggs on the internet. I have to say for a second, I thought Noah was gonna say we're all married so we all know the porch jack-up routine. And I was like, you know, you get like a real intimate view into Noah's marriage, but I guess that. God awful! Movie! Movie! movie. movie. movie. movie. movie.

movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie.

movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie.

movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. He's unable to join us today, but sitting 81 miles to my right is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli. How are you this fine? Afternoon, sir pretty amazing Noah planning to kill a teenage girl. Thank you. Oh, well the good news is that when the FBI Here's about that they're not gonna do shit Now and he's dead we have not one but two guest massacres with us today and from his glutton for punishment Thomas Smith of not one, but two guest massacres with us today. And from his glutton for punishment, Thomas Smith of serious inquiry's only comedy, Shushain opening arguments and the brand spanking new philosophers in space still hasn't learned to ignore our calls. So he's here.

Thomas, welcome back. Hey, I'm literally only here because Heath won't return my calls and I thought I could talk to him and get a message to him. And then I find out he's not here. I wonder coincidence. I think no, not at all. Glad to I find out he's not here. I wonder coincidence. I think no, not at all. I'm glad to be here. Glad to have you.

And also joining us is new fish, Aaron Rabi of the Embrace the Void Podcast and Thomas' new space co-host, Aaron. Welcome to God off a movie, sir. Oh, man, living the dream here. Oh, it is, no, you're not. Like I can tell you, I mean, I've done this before. is no, you're not. I can tell you I mean, I don't know if it's before the the actual shot.

I was excited. I was told this was going to be a shitty movie and this was like middle of the road. I was excited. I was like, the job, the job deliberately goes soft on me on the first one. Is that what this is about? Like, yeah, I can hear you in. Yeah, right. The first hit is free.

I let the fact that this is middle of the road for you just makes me wonder what the fuck you watch in your free time. But we'll get to that. But before we do, Eli, tell us what will we be? But what was middle of the road today? We watched invisible enemies. It's the story of a magic pair of glasses that turns you into Alex Jones. Which is weird because they're actually John Ronson's glasses. And Thomas,

how bad was this movie? Well, I have a perfect measure of how bad this movie was. I don't know if any of you by chance went through the YouTube comments for this. Now, why did YouTube comments? This is such an obscure piece of Christian garbage that it's not as though this is like trolling. The only people who are on the YouTube comments are like the cast and crew and like, so people are remember. So I went through the comments. I kid you not. You guys can check the link.

One of the top comments is one of the girls who was in the movie and has a non-speaking role found it and commented like, oh, wow, I was in this. How cool is it to see it all these years later? And in response, there's some Christians are like, oh, yeah, blah, hell, Jesus, blessed be that whatever, the supportive stuff. And in the comments, there's a guy who's like trying to be supportive and is a Christian, but the movie is so bad that he can't resist. He says, I have the quote here, he says, oh, it's a powerful story. I hope that it could be remade with modern technology and a higher budget is to be honest, the video effects were quite bad and by today's standards and the acting is poor. But like I said, still a great story.

That is a word for word quote. Go look it up. Word for word quote of a guy who's trying to be supportive of someone he knows is in this fucking movie. That's how bad it is that a Christian can't resist. Like, yeah, no, it's good. But he's just will forgive you for this. Yes.

I just, I love that he made a compliment sandwich out of it, though. It was a sandwich, but there was still a compliment on either side. Yeah, I love it to you. Just in case next time she's in a fucking shitty Christian movie, she could do better. I don't know what, what's the reason? It's from 1997. What is she going to do?

Thomas, can you, can you provide the link in the show notes so they can find it in the tens of comments that are probably under the link? You know, I don't want them to miss that. Thomas does our show notes, everybody. We don't usually tell people that. Thomas does our show notes. It's a weird business arrangement we have. Now, Aaron, I have to know, as you're watching through this, and I don't know, I wrote this before I realized that know, I wrote this before I realized that this was middle of the road according to the movies you normally watch.

So maybe I've got this, I'm completely off base. But the question I have written in here anyway is what was the worst excuse you thought of when you were still hoping to back out of this guest appearance? Yeah, I was going to go with, I did so many of the drugs that I fell over and couldn't get up. I just want to say right now, I think it's unkind for Aaron to take Heath excuse for not being on today. Yeah, well, I'll tell you what, that exact thing didn't slow Eli down a lick in Seattle. So yes, I did one Eli's worth of drugs and that's why I That's serious

Are you okay? I believe it's a 2.5 Bill Hicks or one just one and a half Jerry Garcia's oh Jesus, he used to be called a wine house, but you know, it's mine now All right, so now I two found an interesting way to summarize how bad this movie was online. I went to the IMDB page because IMDB basically has everything. And this I don't think was an intentional dig at the movie. But when you click on the like the trivia and the quotes and all, there's only one thing and it's a quote. And this is the quote. This is from adult Jackson.

That'll make sense as we go through the quote is it was like a slow motion swan dive into the toilet. Now that actually is a quote from the film, not meant to summarize the film, but it just it magically does. Um, it, it, it, quick question to everyone as well before we get started. I have this feeling pretty strongly as the movie was wrapping up. Do you have any theories as to where the rest of this movie is? It's just like 38 minutes into the movie. I'm thinking, okay, I see where we're going with this. It's over. Okay, maybe the movie is sitting in an unlabeled crate in a warehouse. I'll come into play later. You'll see.

Yeah. The end of the movie isn't about the crate. We put the end of the movie in the crate. It's like, it's like a reference. No. Yeah, no, it's like a Schrodinger's ending. I get it. Yeah.

So no, that's better. My theory was that they, somebody kidnapped the end of the movie and they couldn't afford the ransom. They spent it all on the lighting. But I like yours better. No, is there anything you My theory was that they, somebody kidnapped the end of the movie. And they couldn't afford the ransom. They spent it all on the lighting. But I like yours better. Is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Sure. I've got best worst story, gimmick in telling the movie from the future for no fucking reason. Like, you don't have to do that. You don't, you can just do the movie. They said it 30 years in the future. So by the way, that means like 2024. And are there any, you know, flying

cars or any shit like that? Nope. Guess where they are? Guess where their futuristic setting is a completely empty warehouse from circa 1934. Like that's the future setting. They could have at least like attached one of the boxes to some strings. So it was like hovering a little bit like a hover box. Yeah. Well, that was so funny because it comes up right away and it says earth 2024. And I'm like, Oh, Christian sci-fi. Nope.

Let me tell you something that happened in the modern day. Technically sci-fi, there's a Matt is McGuffin, right? There's special items there's a little bit. Okay. Spitly lovecraft. This is the whole movie. You know, it is it is it is almost indistinguishable from HP lovecraft.

It's like they live but like a little bit worse just a little bit worse. We'll get there. Did you have any best words or are you just praising all the way? No I love it, but like my best words the sock-puppeting of a blind girl. Like, I know that they got to push the invisible things or real angle and that gets incredibly harder as like science manages to be science, but like, dude, you shouldn't be putting things in a blind girl's mouth like that. It's inappropriate. There are so many self burns that they wrote for this blind girl to do. It's just like, do you guys want to see a movie later? Not me. It's like my

mind in a room. Like that. I did not see that one coming. Oh, come on, guys. Okay. So now, this is actually a separate girl, not the blind girl, but I was going to go with best, worst damsel and distress at what turns out retroactively to have been the finale of this film. We have a woman in danger. And by danger, I mean eight feet up and over a crowd of people that could catch her. Right. That would catch her by death.

She would land on people. There's probably, yeah, they might be in danger of like a strained knack or something but ever. But she's, she's arguably safer on the beam than she is down below in the party. She's probably safer. Well, right, honestly, those folks looks pretty shady. But yeah, exactly if she was on the fucking ground, maybe somebody be walking across that beam and fall down on her. But, but, but, but like if given that situation, the hero

of this movie resorts to magical items and just lasers seemed like a chest lasers. Seemed like a chester. Who did the chess lasers? These sci-fi chess lasers, it's sci-fi chess lasers. Exactly. I'm going to piggyback off Thomas here and go with best worse interstitials for time. Because we'll get to it, but this movie occasionally stops so that the character telling the story can go, should I keep telling the story? Yes. Got it.

that the character telling the story can go, should I keep telling the story? Yes, got it. So the princess pride broke pump fake a lot in their notes and they just made this movie. Yeah, and they had to overcompensate too, because it wasn't just like, oh, yes, you should keep telling it. They're like, no, let's make it so it's so obvious you should keep telling it. That will be sarcastic about it. We'll go like, oh, no, no, you should stop right now. Get out of here.

Of course you keep telling us. And there's not even like a reason right like in in Princess Pride, there was kind of a reason for grab it. But you get into the story now, you get high, you like it now. But in this movie, it's just like, yeah, okay, we were at 34 minutes. 2024 guys. But do you really, really, really want to hear the stories? The reason is to catch a glimpse into the future of warehouse.

Oh, right, right. Yeah. Oh, the reason was to introduce the breakout acting star that was his son, who I really thought needed to be in more of this movie. Yeah, the delivery. Yeah, no, this movie could have used a little more trip. All right, well, I guess I've kind of put this off as long as I could, but eventually we have to break this piece of shit down or we're not really doing the show. So we're going to pause for a quick break

and when we come back, we'll dive into all the haphazard happenings that are invisible enemies. Hey folks, no illusions cuttin' in here to remind you that there's more game lurking just below the surface. As a special bonus for our patrons we record an extra episode every month where we break down a secular flick that's bad enough to qualify as an honorary god awful movie. This month, in honor of Valentine's Day, we broke down the worst-reviewed romcom of all time. American idols very own from Justin DeKelli. Here's a taste of what you're missing. Guys, this movie was two years after 9-11, and I feel like this is how we heal.

If I'm gonna watch something this misogynistic, I'm gonna jack off to it, damn it. Come on! If I'm gonna watch something this massage and this thing I'm gonna jack off to a damn it come on. I'm watching porn dammit. Okay, well it didn't preclude anyone from that's a weird thing to say. You know what, they do actually have lovely singing voices, maybe they should have made this a singing contest instead of a movie. And it escalates so quickly, I don't know, he's just like I need you to work tonight. She's like fuck you Peace land bread like

I Would pay eight million dollars if there had been a fight scene in this Attempt to fight scene just just and just shatters into pains of beautiful pink glasses Justin just shatters into pains of beautiful pink glasses Explodes into glitter. So if you'd like to hear the whole episode plus 19 other bonus episodes and a new one every month You can pledge as little as a dollar per episode at patreon.com slash god awful That's patreon.com slash god awful and now back to the show And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to start off in a poorly lit attic and spoiler. Poorly lit is going to be something of a theme in this film. I wrote

my notes. Here we are in that warehouse from Indiana Jones when they put in the very first box. Well, I think they were going for Indiana Jones warehouse, but they can only afford like three boxes and they don't know that those are painted in originally. Yeah, and they've lifted the music from Temple of Doom. So all the while, there's this Temple of Doom demon music, but we're looking at nothing. So, and then as the father and son start to walk in, the music and the lighting is like he's leading his son to his first human sacrifice, like you do with your son. Yeah. This got me wondering, are there Gregorian's for Satanist?

Do they have like a, a chance? Right. Exactly. I want to buy their CDs. I'm not, I'm into that. Yeah, I wrote in my notes here, music note, can music be a pop scare? Yeah. Well, and so here's the thing.

EOS brought up on the show a number of times before that, before we're done watching Christian movies, we'll, we will have watched an opening with a creepy everything. So we've watched movies where there's like a creepy bakery, a creepy button, a creepy, we watched a creepy lunch box the other day, but this is the first time we've ever been asked to watch a creepy nothing. Yeah. Well, I know that you don't live in Brooklyn, but truthfully going to see any law department

in NYC looks exactly like a horror movie. So I was already pulled right into this and then it was like, there's blood on the walls. I'm like, grace 13 a month. The walls can bleed. It's fine. No problem suspension to disbelief here. Yeah, 13. That's not bad.

So an elevator building, are you kidding? Yeah. Right. Blood fountain. You just saved me murdering four girls, doubts a year. Yeah. So, yeah. So this is where we learn that we're in the future, right?

So the few down and sun show up. Yeah. And it comes up and it's like 2024 AD. That will as we've already alluded to, never fucking matter. And I just want to point out how terrifying it is to me that crazy future dates from the 1980s are now six fucking years away.

You're a doctorate away from the year 2024. And I'm like, oh, okay, we don't have flying cars. And it's like the only magic item in this movie is from the past. It's like, you didn't even use the future thing to do like a future sci-fi glasses thing or something. Right, yay, you could add Google goggles. You could add satanic Google goggles. This would have made perfect sense. And the people in charge of this movie were like, Hey, in the future, do you

think people will have different haircuts? And like, no, no, no, it'll still be 90 style bullcuts, but everybody will get their haircut with a chain sauce. It'll be terrible. Like, that's the future. In the future, super cuts is king. That's really scary. Keep waiting for more. Feel free to show up and be like, this isn't the real. Yep. So okay.

So now here's how this plays out. Dad and Sunwalk in here. Dad gives Sun a whole like, I just want you to know that life isn't neutral. This whole scientific idea of forces and natural losses, a load of shit. Try on my magic glasses. Yeah. He literally says, go on, try on. I thought to myself, damn, these Warby Parker ads are getting viral as fuck. They're really working a little. If you don't like these frames, I can send them back. And don't worry, if you need to send me some money

for these glasses, try stamps.com. For you guys. I was pretty jealous because like, never has a hero acquired magic items more easily. Like I've spent longer in videos and I was trying to get a fucking wooden sword. So, like, first level bitches. You're take this mcuffin, you fucking bastards. Oh, that's great though. Capitalism,

the video game, you just start out Zelda, your dad hands you the special shield. You fucking Ganondorf is brown. So the cops just shoot him by and some skittles and you just walk around with your princess for the rest of your life. Yeah, the capital isn't so conservatives. Conservatives can be like, look, I made my own living. It started when I was a kid and my parents loaned me $100,000. And then, I made my own way. I'm just thinking like fucking Republican Zelda would be awesome because they'd have the second amendment. Well, how much easier would that should be?

So for arrow, my ass, you're coming out with you the boomerang and I've got an AK. We're just going to build a wall to keep all these weird monsters on the other side of the world. Problem solved. Yeah, we don't need to solve underwater temple. People who live in underwater temple choose to live in underwater Oh my God, we just realized it's Zelda's Republican allegory. That's for Thomas' new podcast. It's called. Yeah, right. David Hems really mean with a guy he had on his show three times. He's going to zero win on that hate on that hate list.

Their audience. All right. So anyway, back to this movie. And so there's no easy way to segue back in. So I just have to do the clean break there. So that now the father has handed his son what he's led him to believe our magic glasses. The son looks through him and it's like, yeah, that's, you know, they're just going to give me a headache. And he's like, yeah, the magic only works on me. Like is this a Mormon movie? This is the first of many signs of mental illness that I want to discuss in this movie. Exactly. This is like the mystery men power where the guy can turn invisible

as long as no one's looking at him. That's right. And they want to, they spend this whole movie comparing this stuff to science. And I'm like, if I look through a microscope and you look through a microscope, we see the same shit. It's not like, yeah, glasses. This is not a metaphor for your team. I thought you were the philosophy guy. Aren't you supposed to be like, what if my blue is your green? Please give me tenure.

No, I'm not one of those fucking. That's not from the philosophy. That's from all the drugs. You're not seeing a real philosophy. Eli, have you ever encountered an actual philosophy, a unit of in the law? I like it. I follow a certain Canadian professor.

I don't know if you guys are aware, but he's pretty much got it all on lockdown. Move it right along. Okay. So so dad is on the ground. Move it right along. Okay. So, so dad is telling the son says the, the, the son's like, well, what's up with the magic glasses? And dad says, well, let me tell you a movie. And it starts with your mother and I, well, Cindy and I, they, they, I feel like they think that this is a surprise ending that it's gonna be the mother.

The surprise at the end is they got married eventually. Apropos of nothing. Yeah, surprise it because she ended up as a psychologist, which means at some point she had a fall from grace, right? So like we were there together because like she's a psychologist and we know of us like colleges. Mm hmm. Honestly, this movie might as well end with Andre lost a toe to diabetes. So, you know, that's neat, right? Yeah, it's so fucking random.

But he's telling the kids a story. And if you think about it, if this wasn't his wife, this would be really weird that he'd be telling the story of like some other girlfriend he had before. But he's, he's just, I was going on a trust walk with Cindy. Now that's a bit of Cindy is blind. So Cindy is in the habit of blindfolding her friends and making them walk around with her. To take him down a peg. Well, because my mother's in a wheelchair, she insists that I wheel next to her as often

as possible. She doesn't like it when I walk. So I Google this, and this is the worst part because I was like, this can't be real. It's real, but what it's for is for family members of the visually impaired. It's something they recommend you do like around your home so you can see what your family member might be going through, what they might need assistance with. It is definitely not take a blind person on a walk. You got a blindfold. They got a blindfold. No dogs, no sticks. Just see what happens. Now as they're walking, now as they're walking, someone hawks at them and the guy jumps, you know, but the girl doesn't jump because you know,

she's used to this. Someone hawks at them and I thought, please God, can the movie just be about the person who drives around the block looking for blind? I want to know everything about that person. I want to know that entire character like you just he hawks in a block like, oh, startled you. Sorry. Godter. Well, no, all of the Christian movies take place in

the same universe. So he was on his way to a ballet so he could laugh and make fun of a girl in a wheelchair. There's a reward to listening to all the episodes. Anyway, so we learned that when dad was a kid, this is dad's name is Jackson, is the character's name? Is that right? Yeah. And I have an actor's note for this guy. And you don't really see it until he puts on the demon glasses, but it's it's John Lennon before he did the drugs that made him cool. He is on cool, John Lennon. All right, alternate universe, Bo Burnham. Yeah, that's pretty good. Without the glass, he's like James Vanderbeek if he went nowhere after Dawson's Creek. Did he go some of these things?

Did he go some of these things? Yeah, because that was the last thing. Jay and Silent Bob strike back this year. That was the last thing. Motherfuck. Here he's Nash on few as cute. Okay, but now when he was young, his dad died, and he was pretty fond of his sister. That's going to be important later.

And I say that because like they will make a hard left back into that storyline as though we were already there. Yeah. Hard and like close are the important adjectives, I think, for the primary relationship. Yeah, right. Thomas, do me a favor. Can you tell us how they find the magic glasses? Do you mind too?

I would love to. So this is, this is funny. At my old work, we actually were very near this center for the visually impaired. So actually quite frequently, there would be people walking around all the time with the long cane, you know, like she's using. And would it shock you to learn that she's doing this completely fucking wrong? Yeah, she is playing the sidewalk, like, it's a fucking snare drum and a jazz. Yeah, like she's going to tap out something and hear it like a fucking batter or something. Yeah, they don't do that. You don't, they don't tap.

It's just a hovers, but anyway, she's tapping at a width of maybe six inches and then all of a sudden, she's sweet as it 90 degrees over to off the sidewalk and taps exactly on this old glass's case. I guess, I guess that's what it means to be a highly skilled line, line lady. And what's amazing is she goes, oh, what's that? And he's like, he's doing the trust walk thing. He's like, I don't know what is. And she's like, no, man, take off the,

you can take off the disability. So please take off the disability and tell everybody what's there. Don't I can't just do it. Come on. Don't be a day. No, the banter between them is really, really clutch here. I love this. I get the impression that like the sound effects guy was getting paid per sound effect.

So like that's why you get that like snare drum thing. And then you get like when you lean sound to pick up the box thing, it's like you get that classic shikachka sound effect. Yeah, right. No, they found an old glasses case complete with Satan noises. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it with demons and whispering? Is it, do they need to keep it down? It's like every demon is like, like yet they just be like, hi, I'm a demon.

I'm here in these glasses. Is it a demon library that they're intersiting? Yes. And I have to talk about this moment. So he opens the glass. He's like, oh, it's an old paraclasses and she's like, are they tinted? Are they tinted? I'm a blind person. I love tinted. Yeah. I love for Coco Puffs with blind person glasses. I wanted her to do that for everything. You'd be like, oh, there's a window. Is it tinted? Is it a tinted window? I can wear those on the blind. And then he's like, they're not tinted and she's like, Oh, and it's like they play it

for a joke. It's like the blind chick doesn't wear tinted glasses. Joke is a is a reference that they're making. Like that's a thing that they play together. Now, okay, and I've got to and I've got to throw this out here. If I were to say find an old glasses case sitting on the side of the road, I would not adopt it and make it my own. Right.

I would throw it away where I'd leave it there because maybe that person would come back looking for their glasses. It's like you found an old retainer and you're like, oh, I'm not a kid. No, no. But, but not Jackson. Jackson is so fucking stupid. He's like, he's like some kind of weird hoarder.

He takes these home and just masturbates over him for the rest of the movie. Yeah, my theory is that he can hear the sound effects that dude's putting in because, if you really end over and found a retainer and when you picked it up, it was like, shit, kill your family. Like, you wouldn't throw that retainer a little bit more.

Like, you'd want to know about that retainer's song. I feel like you'd be like, apropos of nothing. Can we trust walk to a hospital? I'm experiencing something now be like, um, apropos of nothing. Can we trust walk to a hospital? I'm experiencing something. Yeah. Yeah, right. So yeah, but now we should point out

that there is some devil Latin written on the frames. Now, when I say devil Latin, what I mean is a hairy potter spell that ends in the word deobalus. God knows what they were trying to write in Latin. I later did it when he says it. I have it in my notes. What it is, it's like one man in the devil alone. It's like the world's worst slasfiction. He's actually what's written in the Latin, but what they interpreted as later, like no grammar, no spell. I'm just like, ah, he's might be Latin. Yeah, no, the devil himself is more real than this Latin. No, they literally went through a Latin English dictionary and just found similar words,

as though Latin would have the exact same structure as English. And there would be no conjugation. I wish you were right, but had the oblo is Spanish, man, there is no, the oblo is a Latin, that's not the other thing. I don't maybe, maybe the church put it in later, but I'm like, I took six years of Latin and like, I Googled this shit. And I'm pretty sure there's no audio posts in Spanish. Latin, Latin, Latin, Spanish word because we don't have a good Latin word for this. But there's definitely Biblioteca in Latin, right? That's on there. There is a bit of a story.

Yeah, no, that's a odd job. Those are not Bibliotheca. I think is what that's why the devil has a lovely bunch of coconuts. I will say when I ran it through the, the, the Google translate to Latin, the obelisk was like the one word it could figure out. So it's, the rest of it was like, it's just giving me back what I wrote. So I did the same thing and it automatically corrected me like six times because I used Google Translate. I used this other Latin program and it was just like poor grammar, poor spam. Google Translate is like, you're a Russian bot. We're disabled.

So so he stares at the Latin for a little bit and then he goes to try him on. Like Frodo putting on the one right right. Hold on though. This you I wanted to hear Eli describe this sweet sweet room for like

an hour. I would listen to a podcast series. Next podcast by Thomas Smith Thomas interviews Eli on this room. It's all pop culture posters with something slightly wrong. It's a poster, but it's just, oh, sir, it's like it's a Star Wars poster, but it's only of the wookie, like everything is slightly Christianized version of pop goes from Legos, but they're only blue. And on his door, hanging on his door is a single wooden tennis racket. Like, oh, he sportses a lot. Well, and there's just CDs stapled to the wall everywhere,

because kids love those CDs with the music on them. World lives in the mandala effect. The judge bred post. So he goes to put on the glasses all like, you know, Frodo put on the one ring suspense fully. But before he can quite get on because you know when you put on glasses, there are steps, there are phases where you've almost got him anyway. Before he can get him him all the way on, we have to meet black friend who pops him

to tell him that he's needed in the next scene. He literally pops in and says, Hey, black friend, I guess, appreciate that. And the movie's diverse. How you doing? I don't want to give it away, but I'm going to be evil later, but you don't want to be

surprised, right? One black guy. I mean, you know how to go. So and, okay, and I love the logistics of this because black friends showed up. And by the way, his name in the movie is Dre. So I can, if I call him black friend, or if I call him by the name, they gave him. It's no more the last racist literally literally the only black name they know. Right.

So, but he basically comes in and he says, Hey man, it's time for science class. Now they're in college. So like this guy just shows up at his home. Yeah, yeah. I was trying to figure that out. I was like, is it so it's a dorm room, right? But then later he's right next door to his sister's room and it's like, what is mom lives there? Yeah, right. Yeah. So this was the largest continuity problem I had in this whole movie.

I was like, high schooler college, figure it out people. This is making no sense. So now we cut to science class for now look we have watched 132 Christian more than 132 Christian movies But if there is one thing that this movie does the best it is clumsy exposition in the classroom that the movie is about Because this science teacher is just like there are lots of things that we can't see it a real bacteria Angels teacher is just like there are lots of things that we can't see that are real. No bacteria. Angels. Jesus is the last. And fade away. My notice it cuts in and the quote is there are plenty of things that are real. Is a thing a professor says in a class. The class is things that are real. 101. The plan of push is real. They didn't think so at first, but today, the first semester covers

things A through F that are real. Can we talk about how much religion is super jelly of science at this point? Yeah. Yes. Science found there invisible shit. Can we find our invisible shit? Clearly it's the same kind of like it's got to be out there and like they did it and we're the same. So like please.

Right. Oh, I love how they abuse the Kelvin example here. Yeah, right. If you don't believe in X-rays and you should believe in anything invisible, well, also they miss out the story and because Kelvin was just like, I don't know, I haven't seen it. They keep telling me that rocks make your bones see through. Doesn't seem real to me. And then he's like, oh, there's the, there, rock's maker, bats, he's like a 9-11 truth they're making, take down the news of Moe-Sheri. No, I don't think you'll be a little hard on this scene

because like, this is roughly identical to every scene and at least one HP Lovecraft adaptation. Like, this is, I think I'm pretty sure that professor is in the reanimator movie. Like, no, it's exact same plot. Yeah, exactly. Every horror movie loves to use this whole like there's all kinds of stuff that we can't see that's real.

It's like, yeah, but we can detect all of it. Can't we? Oh, fuck that fucks it up. That's right up. Yeah, when I get an X ray of something, I can see the X ray. Yeah, right. There's my bones. Wow, I'm looking the X ray. Yeah, right. Right. There's my bones.

Wow, I'm looking at my bones. Okay, I believe it. Yeah, not, but they have it. They have a checkmate move waiting because they have a blind girl. So you guys watch out. They are coming at you. Oh my God. That blind girl.

So good. All this, the things unseen illusions are so thick. Askimos are huddling under them by this point. We're six and a half minutes into this movie. We have that eight clever little references to that. Oh, I don't see it, but it's still real. Yeah, you're blind. No, I know, I know, though.

And so then the science teacher wants to show him a cartoon like they do in college, college. Yeah. And the protagonist, Jackson, uses this opportunity to once again put the glasses on in slow motion. And we don't see what he sees yet. So when he puts them on, all we see is that he is instantly covered in sweat. And I really, really just wanted that to be what the power of the glass is. Like anyone puts them on and they're soaking wet. It's just like, oh, I am.

He is 100% coming in these glasses. It is, it is shot for shot of, of, just, you could put this on porn hub with dude finds magical come glasses. And it would be 100%. The, the exact porno you would and it would be 100%. The exact porno you would think it would be. Are we missing this? I think we really don't want any competition to my dude finest cum glasses.

So, my video now has seven hits. Really excited to make double digits. Eli, a rising tide lifts all ships. So come on. Yes, no, come on. Encourage the art. The art. No. I have a joke, but it's just going to get cut from our show. So I'm just I'll save no one at a point. I know. I know. I know. Morgan.

We love our community of podcasters. This is what Eli was just saying before that imaginary at it. So okay, so yes, he very clearly comes. And then he runs out of the fucking classroom like an idiot directly into a wall. I don't, I don't think, because if they were going for funny, this would have been stupid, but I don't think they were. Has he ever been to this school before? I forgot about that wall. Or has he ever been to a hallway before? That's how they all work. When you walk out, there's a wall right in front of you.

And by the way, hold on, by the way, if you are trying to dispel the idea that you just put on magical cum glasses, um, getting up and going, uh, I gotta go and running out of the room is not the way to do that. I just read this is the like, he was really dehydrated. Like, I wanted to see like a marathon volunteer come in with a, like a Gatorade bottle or something and be like, yeah, get back in the game, man. Put those back on. Go for another.

And so we cut from him running into a wall to him immediately looking up what he saw. And he's looking at the internet in alphabetical order. The whole internet. Yeah. The whole right. Because he's like Latin, Latin music. Yeah. Okay. So I have to point this out, like back when this was made, there were alphabetical search engines. And a lot of them were like Yahoo, it was originally an alphabetical search engine because people were just so fucking stupid that they're like, yeah, no, it's like the yellow pages, it goes in alphabetical order.

So that's like as as ridiculous as that seems from the modern day at that time, that was okay. Kind of normal. But no, right? He says literally out loud as he's scrolling down the word down over and over. No, you remember when the internet required you to verbally say down. They're going to narrate your Google search. Yeah. Question is that why your generation is so into anal like you went on the porn site and

you were like, I'm not making it down to blow job. Anals fine. It was a weird design. Oh, agree. That's no, that's why we were so into Asian women for sure. We are meant to believe that there is an engraving on these point zero, three millimeter diameter wire frames. He's literally holding like, they're just these, it's like a string that makes

up these frames. We are meant to believe that he holds up a Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass to it, which by the way, totally normal dorm thing or whatever. I get college guy thing. Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass to it. And the close-up shot is very clearly just a piece of copper piping that they like wrote on. Yeah. Anyway, but this is, this is where we are, our first introduced to the pseudo Latin, the literally Harry Potter spell that's written onto the end of this fucking thing.

And then we cut to him, you know, because he's going to, he looks at it. He's like, Oh, this is sure going to take a while to translate. And I'm like, only because that's not real Latin. It would be almost instantaneous. Otherwise, I just want to like point out in this scene that like while he's looking at this Latin, he's having a conversation to himself about the nature of mental illness that like wasn't the second time in this movie when my ableism flags started to go off a little bit because it was like, no, only crazy people think they're crazy

and I'm not, but I do think I'm crazy. So clearly I am crazy and I'm like, this is not an okay conversation to be having. He turns to the mirror, you are retard, are you a retard? He's like an ice and slurs. No, mom. Are you a retard? I'm just going to have some slurs. No, mom. I'm not going to do it, mom.

Starts giving himself a wedgie. So you know how when you find magic glasses that deeply affect your vision, the first thing you want to do with them is drive around. Yes. Yes. No, no, no. Yeah. First you want to put get in the car and then talk to the glasses. Like he talked there. Oh, yes. That's the next one. No, not only that. First, you want to put get in the car and then talk to the glasses.

Like, they're on the car. Oh, yeah. See, and he's like talking to them as though there's friend, you know, again, carrying on that crazy conversation. And yeah, it's a good idea when you find demonic come glasses to jump in the car, get behind the wheel and strap on those demonic come glasses while you're driving. That's a great plan. Well, I guess the idea is that he's got to get to Bible study, but I mean, on the way to Bible study, he really wants to check this thing out or something. So it's doing a little

like demons and drive kind of thing. Well, you know, we all have a refractory period and he was, he's ready to go again. And this is where we finally see what he sees through the glasses. And it's just demons queuing people to do worse and worse things, only some of which are remotely evil. Like the first one, it's like, go on. Go go the answer to your homework. And it's like, you should yell at her back. And then it breaks. It's literally yelling like, you know what's bad? Cheating on your homework, a marital troubles

and raping people. You should. This is where I got kind of confused because like, as far as I could tell when he put these glasses on, all they did was make clear to him that human beings are trash, which is like, as far as I could tell when he put these glasses on, all they did was make clear to him that human beings are trash, which is like, that's not special. My glasses do that every day. These are not. I just, just,

well, no, he puts on magic glasses and they enable him to see a bunch of sounds that he hears. That's why he makes no sense. He hears what's happening in houses. Like, what? Should I go one of those like demon ear cones, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

A demons. So yeah, so we get that. We get him driving around looking at the houses and yes, just hearing people being angry in the houses. And also we've got to believe he lives in the most dysfunctional fucking neighborhood. It's like six houses and everyone's being evil in each house. No one's just watching the news. No, every single house, there's an evil like critical evil decision being made as we

thought right now. Exactly. Yeah. Well, evil tends to happen at eight twenty one. I guess. Um, but okay, then we cut to what I am at first thought was a roof party. It's going to turn out to be a Bible study. A bunch of like grown ups at a Bible study.

Right. And again, it opens on the blind girl zinging herself for being blind again. I know it's so nice. You know, the Lord tells us to believe in things you can't see and she's like, better work for me. Am I right? Hi, you like go. I'm applauding. I can't tell.

What is that thunder? I slipped on a banana peel, but it might have been the floor. Yeah, it opens with, so you don't believe in angels and demons because you can't see them, right? No, literally no one thinks that there's no angels and demons just because we can't see them. Someone tell me I need to know, I need to know. This is what by the way, where we meet the girl that was in the YouTube comment section. She is the girl that is sitting there silently and I need to know her backstory.

Someone please tell them because the best I can figure, there must be some sort of saw, ask, premise going on where somebody's like a tattoo machine because they are required to sit there in a Bible study, but we've already learned that this couple that they're, you know, proselytizing to, they are believers, but they're just sitting silently, eating up every word of the apologetics 101 spiel that every Christian movie has, and they're not allowed to respond. When they say, oh, let's take out their Bibles, they have a Bible, but like they're, they're not religious. So is it, somebody have their kids? Is it a,

is it a, what is happening? Thomas, you need to check your not having lived in the south and not having friends who are part of an MLM privilege. Okay. Can I tell you that right now? Because I've had so many silence sit and now let's take out our random book that I care about that you don't know about the reason most scented oils. And they have that 10,000 yards stair when the friend shows up too, where they're just like, don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact.

So that was a year after, I think Jigsaw has their kid in a trap in the background. Like I'm pretty sure, is like if you respond, and they're scared, I know there's a very, this would make sense, yeah. Yeah, yeah, he's like, if you respond and they're steroids, the very this would make sense. Yeah.

Yeah. He's like, I know there's a really obvious rebuttal to this terrible project, a genetic argument, but you can't say a thing or I'll kill your child. So, yes. So they're having their little Bible study. They're having the God damn conversation about how angels and demons are like gravity and radio waves and all the other things that exist that you can't see. And Jackson suddenly runs in and basically goes, Hey, guys,

you're not going to believe how stupid the precept of this movie is. And now the reactions from his friend though in this in this movie, he runs in and he's like, guys, I have something really important to tell you. And black friends like like hold on we were already having a conversation, Jacks, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? That would be his reaction. It's absolutely in unhuman of a reaction. Yeah, well, they're like, this is the first time someone hasn't instantly shot down our shitty apologetic shot. I wanted a montage of Drey just not wanting to be interrupted by people on fire.

A woman runs up. Excuse me. Anyway, I was like a Bible pastor. I didn't wonder if like there were an a special cult where like being late to Bible studies was like the worst sin. It's like raping babies is okay, but like don't ever show up five minutes late when Dre started rapping, because that's the way they were 10

Catholic. He's not even a person anymore. Like he showed up late, they're just, he is ex-communicated. Yeah, right. Do you guys hear a noise? Um, so yeah, so they shut him the fuck up and let

the blind girl keep speaking. Of course, she's going to now read the armor of Godverse. Now, as a veteran Christian movie watcher, what I can tell you about the armor of God versus if that, if you hear that verse spoken in a Christian movie, the point of this movie is going to be to try to make event, jellicalism seem cool. Right? Like from that point on, it's going to be like, oh, but if you think about it, when you annoyed people about Jesus, you're really fighting demons with a sword. Aren't you?

Though, I mean, it makes sense that they would put that in the mouth of a girl who looks like a hot topic went blind and converted to Christianity. The really sexy little cross and like the low cut black and like the black black, like, hmm, really choice. Yeah, there wasn't a lot of good going on in this movie, but she looked damn good. Yeah. She was a nice hand for my eyes. And this guy says, the guy walks in with glasses, says, he said, and I quote, it's all right

here in plain Latin. And he has not even translated it yet. The next scene is going to be him translating this for about 47 hours. I'm pretty sure that you're in plain Latin. It's all right here in plain Latin that I don't know what it says. I haven't figured it out yet, but it's all right here in plain Latin. It's not even plain Latin. I love that so much. This is by far the

most textbooks gets a frenic breakdown. I've seen in any sort of movie. I mean, like you guys are probably used to that, but like for me, I was like, don't you all want to help your friend? Like he's having a lot of stuff. And that's what's so amazing is that like when he comes in and is like, no, I can actually see demons. They're like, come on, man, we're playing book pretends. Don't, do not, right? Cause that's, look, if you actually believed in demons and someone ran, if someone was like, hey, there's a bat in your house, you'd be like,

oh, fuck, there's a bat in here. That's right. But demons in here, I'd be like, oh, okay, well, we're gonna go to St. Vincent's. They'll help you with the day. Yeah. But your glasses resized for you, buddy. They're not even interested in his well-being. Like they clear literally in a state of mental derangement or in a breakdown or something

like, guys, we're trying to, we're trying to do some Christian apologetics. Can you relax with your mental illness for one, now one night? Yeah, one night. And like this is my favorite moment because he tries to get the black guy to put the glasses on. And like as soon as I read the premise of this movie, I'm like, it's a Christian version of they live. I'm so excited. And I was really hoping the black guy was going to be like, no, I won't put the glasses on. And then like the white guy was going to like rowdy, rowdy

pipe or like beat the shit out of him in an alley for like five minutes and then force him to put the glasses on. That was my entire hope about this whole movie. And he just puts the glasses on and it ruined everything for me. So that was, yeah, that was when this movie lost me right there. It was good up until that. It was good. Yeah, beat him like Keith Davis. But the black guy has the bet like the most devastating put down of all time. He says to the crazy person, he says, look, we all thought you were funny in high school,

but no one's laughing now. Nobody's gonna break funny anymore, man. Yeah, there's a distraught like psychotic person and you're putting him down. Like what do you think he's going to do? He's going to go kill himself. What is, what are you Christians doing in this fucking movie? Yeah no I think the idea that like human conversation was an abstract concept to the person that wrote this came up several times in my mind because like yeah no he's going like basically dude your mentally he'll go away

He's going like basically dude your mentally, he'll go away. Yeah. So, but he does. He goes away, leaves him alone to do so their Bible studies some more and he goes back to fucking translate his Harry Potter spell. He goes back to translate for fucking words of plain Latin for two days. Yeah. The movie is 38 minutes long and 30 minutes of it is him typing things into the computer from the 90s.

If they had just had a cutaway of him saying, guys, I translated it four and a half minute movie. I want to sequel to this movie where this guy goes on Wheel of Fortune and they're like, you've uncovered every letter, sir, would you like to solve the puzzle? And he's like, I don't know. Yeah. He wants everything figured out except Diabolite at the end of it. He's like, well, I better look that one up to.

Yeah. She's a photo friend. Can I buy a bow? There's one fucking letter. Yeah, so, okay, so he eventually translates one man a vision of the devil which okay, you couldn't say any fucking thing, right? Like he could have said something that may fucking sense. You're not even reusing real laden. So you could, you know, like that, that makes it even easier. But from that, he says, oh, that must mean I'm the only one who can see the

evil demons from the glasses. Now it could make sense. He reads it. He's just so far from what the actual words translate to. He's just like, huh? So I must return these glasses to the one men's store. It could just say Macuffin Macuffin Macuffin Macuffin would be fine. Yeah, right, right. Exactly. And and click your heels together. Um, but okay. So then we, we, we cut,

we have to like this story admitted at this point that it was boring as fuck, right? Or the story felt like it needed to give itself a pat on the back like a you can do this. So we cut back to dad in this warehouse telling the story from his son, the framing of the movie. And the kids like, dad, this story is unbelievable. How do we get such a good DP? This makes sense. Yeah, it's just a reminder we're telling this story from the future for no fucking reason. Just in case you forgot. Yeah, it's hard to reminder we're telling this story from the future for no fucking reason. Just in case you forgot. Yeah, it's hard to sit your son down for the, you know, magic classes that can see the devil talk.

Am I right? You know, it's hard moment. And he said, I want to break down because he asked him, the kid asked him, why didn't you tell me this before? I want to break down his answer logically. See if you can tell me what, what, what it means. He says, I don't know, you know, I watch you and life isn't neutral. Everything matters. So I'm telling you the story. You want to hear more? Like that's a little, like, I guess, uh, I guess I,

he might as well answer with reclaiming my time. We claim in my time. You want to hear this story? Because I had to sit through your shitty based T-Ball game, son. I had to sit through so many shitty T-Ball games. That's why. At least he found a comfortable place to sit while they tell the story, right? You wouldn't want to be somewhere where you could eat food or drink something while you have a little story. A boring story.

Let's be somewhere where we could both be murdered by hobos and no one would notice. And that'd be great. Up's the tension is what I'm saying, right? Get through this before we get killed by crackheads. be somewhere where we can both be murdered by hobo is a no one would notice and that means this is great. It ups the tension is what I'm saying, right? Get through this before we get killed by crackheads. So the dad's like, do you want me to keep telling the story and the kids like, oh, yeah, dad, I couldn't possibly hear enough of the story. So that's what I thought.

Let's keep going. So with that useless little digression out of the way, we get back to the story. Now this is how he gets back into the story. He's like, at this point, Ali was really having a hard time of it. Who the fuck is Ali? We have a lot of alluded to Ali up to this point. This is a character we've not met yet. Let's help you out. It's his sister. Yeah. Yeah. Who's really important, apparently, whose personality is the equivalent of a black choker come to life. And by far the most reasonable person in this illness riddle family, like she's the only person who I think has any sense going on here. However, Ali's boyfriend

gives us the greatest moment of this entire film in this scene. We see him coming to pick up Ali's boyfriend and he does the, are you still a blind chick check to the blind girl? And I just wrote just get him. He's making it. He never know when they're faking. Yeah. This gold brick or seize. Oh, God. And then so the sister comes out and he needs to do Shbag Jackson needs to talk to her. And okay, I don't know how many of you have siblings. They talk brother to sister about six inches away from each other's face. We rather die. I would rather die if someone told me you need to talk to your sister intensely, like staring

into her eyes, you know, four inches of root, just kill me. They're like, just, I can't do it. This is a theater thing, right? In theater, if you're six inches away from someone for more than 10 seconds, you have to either make out or fight them. Those are the rules to see. And somebody didn't catch that. They were just like, no, no, six inches is great.

Get a little closer. Yeah. Here's the amazing thing. Her performance is like there's three people inside her and they all get a turn to act for 10 seconds. You might as well start juggling and do a back flip in between one. The emotions are just all over the place. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Jackson is like, Hey, is Ali in there? Can I speak to Ali? I mean, this is the part where I got really confused about who was sleeping together in this movie. I thought I had it sorted out. And it just went all the way. Pretty incessy movie, even for a game of Thrones fan. Yeah. Um, it will also, yeah, because it like it would seem to be like pump faking you over who was fucking the blind girl, whether it was Jackson or Dre too, right? I assumed both. And now I'm very confused. That was what happened for me, watching this movie. Yeah. So okay. So, but the, but the, just to the conversation, the uncomfortably close conversation that he has with his sister is, hey sis, you need to chill out.

And she's like, I'm gonna fuck all the dudes. Yeah, one of the bad ones, I'm done all, fuck it all of them. She's a Christian caricature of a party person. So she has to be like, whoa, weekend, huh? Yeah, this is an attitude party and stuff. Mine. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, a party girl as written by somebody who's only ever seen one of that when he closes his

eyes and checks off. Yeah, I did all of my work all week and now I'm going to go party, which is why it was weird that we were supposed to feel bad for this person. Cause I'm like, yeah, get it girl. Like get out there. Yeah, right. She's like as long as I, yeah, as long as I do shit during the week, I'm gonna go unwind a bit.

And it's like that's a totally rational, perfect decision. There's nothing right with that. The alcoholic. Their version of a bad girl is someone who gets all their work done during the week. She might as well be like, I get straight A's, but on the weekends,

I get straight A. You know what I'm saying? Ainal. A lame stuff. You get it? Am I close enough? So yeah, I have a French accent. I found it on Google. It was the first option on Google.

So yeah, it's alphabetical. That's close enough for me. All right, so, all right. So she leaves. We cut to him laying on his bed late that night. Oh, God. It's so good. It's so good. If 40% of this movie is him translating the glasses.

Another 40% is him almost putting the glasses on. Yeah. And if you're wondering why he's sleeping in his bed in the exact same full outfit he was just in in the last thing, because that's actually his skin and he's an asexual cartoon character of a person. Oh, and never knew. Dude, when he put the glasses on, if he looked down and saw a demon trying to jerk him off, this movie would have been bad. Especially if the demon looked like his sister, I would have been all about, I'm just saying it didn't.

My favorite part is he puts on the glasses and so he starts to see, you know, again, the whispering library devil's a perfection. And he holds up that 90s clear telephone everybody had where it's like clear. You can see the inner workings of it. And it's like, there's a bunch of whispers like that phone is the devil. Is there some Christian anti clear 90s phone plot? I don't know. No, there's literally demon voices on the phone going not in service, not in service.

Which means that the devil inspires when you lost the connection in the 90s up until 2005 or or it means that the demons are just on the phone somewhere else in the fucking house going, oh, fuck, he's on the phone. are just on the phone somewhere else in the fucking house going, oh, fuck, he's on the phone. I'm not in service. Oh, he goes. That was my thing was that he was just like, he was tuning into a conversation already in progress because they get this important plot point where they're like, well, no, we can't go after the white guy because he's saved.

Oh, no, no, okay, hold on. So that's a, so he walks out and he goes over toward Allie's room and apparently there's some sort of devil Monday morning status meeting happening. Yeah, right. It's the greatest thing ever. I would pay all the money in the world to remake this movie, but just like they go through all the boring shit that you actually go through the companies. Just like, and by the way, today is Calcamores birthday.

So there will be a cake in hell later today. Might as well be saying like there's a new report cover on the TPS report. Yeah, right. Seriously, like that level of status mean, that's happening in her doorway by the way. Like what, that's where they commence business, I guess. I guess because yeah, he walks down the hallway and then he hears the status meeting and they're like, oh, it turns out that little twerk kid found the glasses.

The one that looks like good universe, Bob Burnham and, and then they're like, oh, well, let's torture him. Like, no, he's too Christian. They're like, well, let's torture that blind chick, he likes. Like, no, she's too Christian to like, how about the daughters? Like, yes, she fox. Yeah. Yeah.

Also, we have to point out that there is one person that they feel like they do have control over. And that's Dre. And why do they have control over Dre? I don't know. The black guy. No, no racist. No racist. Because he jer't know. The black guy.

No, no, no, racist. Hashtag no reason. Because he jerks off. Yeah, okay. And when they say that, we get a flash cut. It's not jerking off. So great.

It's so great. And we'll come into play later. It will very much come into play later. Yes. And then they go on to discuss the venue of the office Halloween party that year. They're like, should we get how many, what are they, what is this fucking meeting? I didn't know why would you have it in the fucking house? Would you know he's got the secret hearing glasses? Yeah, they already know it. Yeah. But then right then he realizes

that the demons are going after his sister. So he opens up the her door for some reason, shit blows around. And then the cheesiest, crappiest look and green demon shows up. He looks like he should be hovering over the word continue. Yes, no. Yeah, it's like goose bumps. I imagine the director said to the CGI guy like, remember the scene where they open the door in Poltergeist?

You've got like five bucks. What can you do? Yeah, right. And I'd like to see change. I'd like to see a little change on F5. I mean, I thought the role of fire under the demon's face, like the solid, like clip art row of fire really gave me effects and then the whole devil image they have, PowerPoint slides out of the picture through the windows. It might as well just fold up and then

like, yeah, it looks like Superman or whatever, where they, they're like, they're in the weird space window. It's kind of like that. Yes. I bet this plays really well with 3D glasses, actually. I bet it really. Yeah. No, that's it. That's that's that sometimes you just got to watch it. You got to pay for everything. That's why it's said in 2024 is that when the movie gets good is when they catch up the technology? All right.

Well, this movie is clearly just about to crank the insanity up to 11. So before I get to carry it away, we're going to pause for a quick break. But first, let me give it a act three of the hard. So Ken Jackson, reach out. Lee before it's too late. Well, anyone react to anything like a human might? Will they find the satanic nose and mustache that goes with those glasses? Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the unapologetically

insane conclusion of invisible enemies. Minions! Yes, Dark Lord Satan? I have your evening assignments! Hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Indeed they are my lord. Good and Thomas, you'll be making Drey jerk off again. Yeah, my lord. Good fly, my minions fly. Thomas, why do you linger? Yeah, it's just, so like, it's like, malkior and carcophagus,

they always get different jobs. Sure. Uh-huh. And it seems like, and I'm not, I'm not complaining, you know, I love being a demon. I love it. I pretty much only get assigned

to making African American young men jerk off. Do you know? I um, wow. I hadn't uh, noticed that's crazy. Yes, a lot last week. It was Michael tonight. It's Dre the week before it was Anthony. Wow.

That uh, that's a crazy coincidence that you got the same. Yes, so do you think maybe I could do something different next week? Sure, absolutely. Next week, you are going to make this kid Raul Jerkhal. Yeah, seriously. What? He's Hispanic. Totally different. Come on. I hate hated here.

And we're back for more of this shit. When we last left our hero, he overheard Satan threatening to touch his little sister. So we're going to rejoin him running from his house to save her. But before he can leave, he has to talk to Dre, who apparently lives on Jackson's porch. That's so good. I mean, like, okay, either we believe that or we believe that the last time we saw him, he was on the porch. And then the next time we saw him,

he had returned to the porch and was about to knock on the door as Jackson runs out. And he becomes startled. And his acting choice for startled is raise both your arms above your head and jazz him and go, whoa, like real quick, oh, God, it's so good. Well, we have established that he was just jacking off. So you know, we're all married here.

We've all had that like pretending to be overly surprised. Oh, yeah. So no, I did that. No, I had no had that like pretending to be overly surprised. Oh, yeah, so no, I didn't do that. No, I had no idea you were going to walk me. I was just jacking off on your porch. Sorry. I was just a Wikipedia women's rights here. I was just reading some gracely bogs on the internet. I tried to Wikipedia women's rights, but like, you know, it's alphabetical. So I got trapped in an angle. I'm like, oh, no. And they have a right to do this as it turns out.

Yeah. I have to say for a second, I thought Noah was going to say we're all married. So we all know the ports jackoff routine. And I was like, you know, we're going to get like a real intimate view So we all know the ports jack off routine. That's like, you know, like a real intimate view and that, that was marriage, but I guess that something's going on. You're married. You jerk off wherever you get. So, but I love this moment. This is one of the greatest reveals ever. Dre is not quite convinced that Jackson has magical glasses that allows him to see demon demonic activity, but then he says, and I quote, Dre, I know about the pornography.

So, so with that in mind, I want to tell you guys all that I have magical double glasses and Thomas Aaron Eli. I know about the pornography. No. No. What? Who told you? Who told you?

Tell me who told you. No, no, no. I wouldn't know. Yeah. If you're looking for proof that someone is a psychic, that's about as unconvincing as it is. Telling you. You're telling it.

We're college dude. Telling a, telling it college dude, telling it college dude, I know about them. You could walk up to any college dude right now and say, I know about the pornography and they say, yeah, no, everybody knows that. Everybody knows about it. So my email, do you get my email? I emailed you some of my favorite pornography. It's on my phone right now. I'm looking at it right in front of you, right now. I guess I read this scene is having slightly different subtext. I read the rest of the line is being, Drey, I know about the pornography of the white women.

It was just like, it was just like implied a little bit. Like, and he's like, oh, you're right, you're right. I should stop doing that because this. Christian world and fuck that side note, no matter how good friends you think you are with Thomas, he doesn't want to know what porn you're into lately. So just telling everybody not to make the mistakes I did. No, just for you. I actually, everybody else is fine. Just not. Yeah. No, I don't think you're as good a friend. Thomas your pornography everybody. It's better than most tweets he gets philosophers in space at gmail.com. So this point for cosplay. Obviously. And and Mexican fart porn. He's really into

that. So yeah. But Dre, of course, is shocked. Yeah. It's about the pornography. I was so my notice, he is so shaken that someone knows about his pornography that he's going to help Jackson fight invisible demons. That must be, that must be some weird porn that you're wearing. Yeah, that is, I really, really want to. I was like, oh, I was so confused because pornography is so normal to me that I was like, oh, it's kids.

Like that's why he's doing it. Cause it's, it's bad cause it's kids. And I was like, oh, it's kids. Like that's why he's doing it because it's it's bad because it's kids. And then I realized, nope, it's just normal consenting adults fucking on camera. Yes. No, it's not even that we saw. We get to see another cutaway to him jerking off. And it's just like playboy. That's all. Yeah.

She's in a fucking analog magazine for this shit. Yeah. so he's like, but who told you about the porn? He's like the demons. He's like, okay, now everything's sane. I'm gonna help you. Who told you about the porn? The demons or anybody? Meanwhile, by the way, Dad is still telling the story to his son. We know because the story is still going. Oh, God. Literally, he just goes, Hey, you want me to tell the story or do you want to go get lunch with your mom and the kids like, what? What? Oh, wait. Is lunch an option? Cause I want to get out of it.

Yeah. And again, Denny's, yes, please. No, let's go get lunch with mom. And again, they're trying to play it like it's such a good story that the sun wouldn't even dream of leaving the future warehouse. Also, if they left, that would require another futuristic set and where they get some other impressive futuristic empty warehouse. I think this just proves that like Christian producers are hampered by their lack of cocaine news because like anyone doing cocaine would immediately realize you should make this

into a tight 30 and like sell it to the Jesus zone as like a twilight zone rip off and we're all rich. It's so easy, but no, 38 minutes. No one's going to watch 30, 30 minutes. Fuck that. And yeah, and all you'd have to do to get it down to 30 is cut these stupid fucking scenes. But yeah, so the dad's like, it was actually right at this warehouse where we're standing that the third act of this

film took place because we could really only afford to light one space. You get it. So they show up at this, at this drug party. Now, as veterans of Christian movies, we've gotten to see a lot of ideas of what Christians seem to think parties look like. This is one of my favorites. Like basically party means lots of chain link fences. And for no reason, right? And we have to talk about the almost drugs.

Everything in this shot. So they have a bong with a literal cork in it. They have a bite. I don't knowk in it. They have a bong. I don't know how they got one. Someone's bong. It's got a cork on both sides. It's like a safety cork. It was like a police evidence locker bong that they were allowed to use as long as there's

safety corks in it. Right. There were pills being handed out in petri dishes. No, but they've got them in those little plastic ramacans like they give them to you in the hospital. Right. That's what they think because they think, well, that's what drugs come in, right? And then little plastic cups.

Yeah, they practically had the Monday, Wednesday, Wednesday, like the, yeah, and then my favorite piece of drugs is the world's fattest, longest line humanly possible. Yeah, it's someone obviously dumped an entire baby powder container out on the table, made it a rectangle and was like, okay, it's hilarious. Tony Montana would have been like, that's a little much. And for all that cocaine, as far as I can tell, the drug that all these kids are on is slow mo. Like, which is, which we all know from watching like 90s movies like this is the most dangerous

of all party drugs. And anyway, Blade is going to show up and murder all of these children who are clearly vampires, but anyway. So okay, now we have to put Ali, the sister character in danger. Here's how we're going to do it. The party game, they were playing a game of like fucking balls out pin the tail on the donkey here. Is that what we're supposed to believe was going on? Oh, fucking idea.

I do not even have a guess. Like I can't, I'm not a creative enough human to think of what they could even have been thinking. Have you never guys never gone to a rave and gotten tied up with a rope and walked across a beam because you're on drugs? Like what party talk of this? Why I'm gonna do?

This is like Tuesday, right? So I guess yeah, it's a Brooklyn thing. So yeah, I've been to black sheet parties where they would be like, I don't understand what she's doing. That doesn't mean so. Yeah. What is what is her consent word here? Yeah.

So they've blindfolded her and raised her with a rope up to a beam that's like eight foot high and she's going to walk blindfolded across the beam except she's not going to do that. Right. She's just going to freak out and not do that. And so they're like, oh, what do we do? And then Drake says, put the glasses on and then I might not say, I wrote, see if there's any pornography up there. Okay, I think they're just like, I mean, your sister is tied up and blindfolded. So

yeah, I think for white girls, I'm pretty much there. She's got a rope in a circle around her like it's a lasso in an old tiny western. And the rope would go as a way. Would be the most dangerous part of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, with a new surround. It would be far safer if there was no fucking rope to begin with. So she and the rope goes up to us old, tiny, spinny, weely, pully thing. And then down to a dude that's just monitoring, I guess. And so I don't, my question for you guys is, I do the demons, the guy holding the rope, the guy belaying her, if you will.

He just falls over. Like he just, he's like, my heart or something? just he just falls over like you just he's like, uh, my heart or something like that falls for no reason. Like is that the demons or I genuinely think that they think that like that's the way drugs work. Well, there was one demon on his hands and knees behind him. And the other demon came up from the front. And that's basically what we see right because? Because he puts on the cuz because traces put on the glasses. See if there's any demons here. And he puts on his glasses and sure enough, there's demons, every fucking where.

And so the rope falls out of that guy's hand and it falls below and it like hits a guy who falls over at the weight of the rope hitting him. And then, and then this is the best part. So now a picture, we have, Ali is just standing on a beam with a rope tied around her and it's dangling to some party dude. Party dude falls down. He pulls the rope to get back up a full grown man's, and then we go up to Ali and she like sort of lean slightly. She's like, oh, I have suddenly been, yeah, used to pick up 180 pounds of dude. I might have to lean over. Yeah. So, yeah, so now, but okay, but Jackson has to savor because the demons are now, I shit

you not pinching her boobs and jumping on the beam Who there's no way that demon was directed to pinch boobs And well damn took the the shaking the thing They don't like it if you pinch their boobs so that's why my this was perissioned by the wine team company and now it now it all makes sense. Now yeah, I'm gonna be a senator one day and this is gonna come back. I know I know it's fine. Long form metaphor for puberty. I see how they got such a good DP now though. Um, so.

All right, so Jackson rushes up to help her from the peril, I guess. Again, she's eight feet off the ground. If she like hung off the thing from her fucking feet or from her hands rather like they somebody could just grab her legs and help her down. But no, Jackson's got to go up there, put on his demon glasses so we can tell where the demons are. And then stop and ask Jesus for help. Okay. Now, hear me out. How amazing would this movie be if Jesus just vaulted onto the board and did like a sweet flip? I would be all about this movie just shows up in the gift art. He's like, what, what, what are you doing? Flip, flip, flip. God, let's get down from here. Bam. Or he does like a balance beam routine. You're saying? Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. He

goes all the way around his shoulders. Exactly. But no, I honestly think what we get is even better than that. He says, because every Christian movie, the guy at some point has to say, oh, Jesus, I can't do it without your help. And Jesus is like, no, no, I got you, man. And then we get this white glow as he gets his Jesus power up, at which time the demon burns to death from the lightning that shoots out of his chest. This is where I had a question for you guys as the experts, right?

You just had one question here. It just won. No, like for me, this was a pretty impressive gritty reboot of the Care Bear Stair, but I was curious. From y'all's perspective, like on the scale of Jesus Super Saiyans, like how many Vigitas would you give this? Like, of the chest lasers you've seen. Yeah, no, no, I think we got to go all the way back to episode one to get a better

Jesus Super Saiyan than us. Yeah, on a scale from Krillin to Purple Gay Guy, this is a solid seven. I don't remember what that purple gay guy's call. So I just wrote what fucking what seriously fucking what about nine times in my notes here, but Ali apparently is safe. So the crowd claps. Yeah. So they hadn't even noticed anything when the rope holder guy died of a heart attack and felt his dad. They were demons and shit. She was trapped. Nobody noticed. They're all just, yeah, party knows part. How about those drugs? We all definitely ate.

Those were fun. And then he does nothing like nothing happens and the demons are gone. And the entire party just stops and they like simultaneously. Oh my God. That was the way. Yeah, go flapping it. Yeah. Well, that's what I'm thinking. Okay, because the, I'm assuming that the demon glasses are required to see the demons and the chest lasers and stuff. So what is their experience here? Nothing. Do you do a cause girl to fail her awesome balance beam test?

I think in the early hour. In their experience, must he just have gotten up there, scream Jesus Christ's name, pointed his chest at his sister, and then like, that's it? Yes, they were just like, point your chest at your sister. There you go. And I have actually a group acting note here.

I feel like someone was in the background shouting at the note more slack John slacker All the way open All right now Apparently that's the end of the story Right like we have a little wrap-up scene. I'm thinking. Oh, he just found is Jesus Chest powers now will go do something useful with them But no, that's the whole fucking thing. We basically just have to cut back the dad and son to wrap things up

Right Just like hey you want me to keep telling the story dad the story is over right but The movie is not but the movie is not so. What do you say? He's like, you want me to keep telling a story? It's over. Well, is that any different than the story? I was telling the same stuff.

Like it's not, I could just say random objects. I'll be. Yeah, he's like, he's like, you remember when the blind chick said that there was stuff that we couldn't see and the kids like, this is a 37 minute movie. I remember all the fucking parts, okay. Everything happened in the last half hour. He's like, well, you know, she completed that thought in a different scene, a different scene, a different scene. So we go back to this other story, right? The one that we just wrapped up and the gang is

doing Bible study on the porch. Again, Dre lives on the fucking porch. And he says, this is how he opens up. He goes, I never meant to get in so deep. Now, is this a porn reference? Yeah, yeah, no, he was like seven pornography's deep. I get it. You know when you get two pornography deep, I've been there like she takes the whole day away from the house and then all the sudden you're googling very, very specific terms and very, very specific actresses. I know what Dre was talking about and I get it.

You all measure this in terms of numbers of tabs open at a time. I'm just like, what's our metric here? How many levels of inception? Yeah, I know. Right. This is, this is in magazine analog times. He just had a magazine. Like it was just open. How deep, what do you do the multiple tabs in analog? Is it like five playboys, like spread out in front of the map? Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no know this. Yeah, no, I'm in my 40s. I do know, yes, you could, you could, you would spread out the magazines. Like varying levels. Yeah, now that's what we had to do back in the day. Back in my day, when we jerked off, yeah, just no one making up his own stories by cutting them together and yeah. And that's, that's kind of how you have two fellas

in these ladies. I love the narrative where like he's hidden, the midget porn under his own pillow and in it like he finds it and he's like, oh, I didn't, I didn't know this was a, well, maybe I'll have a little look, you know, like, try it, right? You know, with a pornographic flipbook, there we go. All right. Number 75.

Rockefeller. So now, okay. So Dre is admitted that he went too deep into his pornography. Now the blind chick has to have her confession moment where she goes, yeah, I'd never meant to be so sarcastic, but I'm blind. What? That's her, that's her sin. Like it one, yeah, we've got like, we've got incest going on. We got pornography and she's like, well, I'm sarcastic sometimes.

And so it's just as bad. Like she's trying to do that fake thing. Like, look, we're all sinners. One time I like made a joke or something. I would say my biggest fault is that I work too hard and I can start Monday by the way. We get it Cindy. You're a Mary Sue character. Don't be such a bitch about it. get it Cindy you're a Mary Sue character don't be such a bitch about it. That's fine. And then she asked him like, what did they say about you? And he's like, oh, that my haircut is so fucking stupid. I couldn't be cut dead around the demons.

No, no, the other thing is like, why wouldn't they take you? And it's because they belong to Jesus. Yeah, yeah, that's the big deal. And then she also has this line which I fucking love because apparently they didn't realize it was in you endow because they were talking about Jesus where you know she's like, but we're not on armed in this fight. We have the Bible and the body of Christ. And then she says, and I quote, the one who is in you is the greater than the one who

is in the world. I mean, we know that phrase is a dick in your ass is better than two in your bush. I get, you know, I get what I'm just going, but we could have modernized it a little bit. Um, but oh, but I'm sorry, this movie has had a plot apparently. Uh, Jackson still has to go save Ali's soul in the most incest heavy scene of the film, right? This movie has more endings than Lord of the Rings, right? We all agree. Oh, God. At some point, somebody's just like fuck already, exactly like with the hobbits. Is your right?

Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha. And like Noah said, because we had the armor of God quote, it means we need to have the, I love you too much not to bother you about Jesus. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, right. Yeah, the whole like, you know, it's a metaphor about how when you annoy people, not to bother you about Jesus. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

The whole like, you know, it's a metaphor about how when you annoy people for Jesus, you're fighting demons with chest lasers, aren't you? If you think about it. So, so he goes to her room to have a talk with her where he's going to sit uncomfortably close to her. Like, I expected to start rubbing her leg as they were having this conversation. Oh, God. I expected to start rubbing her leg as they were having this conversation. This entire scene is so great because it's how many Christian ease ways can they say how many dude she's banged?

Like that's like, you know, I don't need one of those. It's done. I've pulled and then she's like, yeah, I don't know the sense you pull. Oh, you don't know what I've done. It's like, I want to know what Ali did cuz it's like no Lots of people have done terrible things and she's like no you do not Cut to her like stripping off a tiny mustache and like in the 1940s and then straightening the bull cut into a girl's Do and she's like, there you go, Adolf, they're never known. Your name is Ali now.

Well, I like this idea though. Like, I mean, because when I first watched this, my first thought was definitely a soft incest vibe. And then I was like wondering if that was just like modern porn trends. And now I like the idea of like a meta story where this kid literally saw his sister in some incest porn. And like, you need to come talk to her about the literally saw his sister in some incest porn. And like the, to come talk to her about the fact that she was in that incest porn. And that he enjoyed watching it, but doesn't really know how to have that conversation.

And the glasses are like a metaphor. It's a metaphor for that conversation. I get it. It's like when you find out that Corey Chase is actually a mom and you're like, how do they, because they're eventually going to be like, hey, mom. Gosh. Wow. You know?

Yeah. Okay. I also have thought about that. You don't think about Cory Chase like sitting down with her kids someday and being like, you're not gonna want to watch mommy's anything. Just don't. You like, you like all the red new trucks? Okay.

Well, You like you like all the red new trucks. Okay, well, then yes, you didn't say you don't even want to know the stunts. I thought. Yeah, right. But yeah, okay. So they're having this heartfelt conversation. Keep in mind, we know nothing at all about their history or relationship. So all the stuff they're working through is all new to us, right? That's how sly, this fucking thing's written. Oh, by the way, my music note here is, if you do one note at a time and you add it long enough, you don't even need a pattern. Oh, such an insult to every pianist in the world. Yeah, no, I definitely had a reoccurring theme throughout this that it was like, what if we do clear the loon, but if we just like leave out the notes. Right. We're slowing down to inception levels.

Right. And the conversation gets so boring that it literally cuts away from that to dad being like anyways, you know, that conversation went somewhere. I just sort of vaguely mentioned Jesus and vaguely mentioned our child. But she got saved eventually. She got a thing. Turns into one big you had to be there of a story.

He's like, no, no, I swear it was great. There's some really good drama. There's some acting. It was awesome. You know what? Fucking kids. The moral of the story is yada yada yada is that what I was talking about. And then so he's like, he comes back out of it with his son and he's

like, and you know what's weird is the glasses stopped working right about the time I started taking my pills. Yeah. Oh, this gets a freni of war off. I mean, the glasses stopped working. Yeah, right. Cause we've got to cut back the dad and son for yet another wrap up. I, again, 38 minute movie. This is the ninth ending. And he's like, yeah. And then I kept howling her about Jesus shit. And eventually she came. So I would leave and she could masturbate again. But we all, but he says, but he's like, but it was it's all a happy story, but we almost lost her and I'm like, lost her. She was nine feet up.

It most she almost broke her ankle. Let's be realistic. And then yes, then the glasses stopped working because apparently God created a fucking set of demon glasses, brought them into existence and placed them right in front of her So that he could get his sister off of a beam That's the only thing that Jesus could think of to do with the goddamn glasses he had invented No again, mostly it's for watching Drey Jirkoff. It was mostly I think it was a little hard on the beam metaphor though, Noah. I mean, like

it is exactly as high as the stakes are for actual religion. So I think exactly eight feet off the ground. Yeah. I guess the stakes of this movie, just the clarity, the first time I met Noah, I watched his roommate jump from twice that height because he told him he couldn't. That is the movie we're watching. And then this is where they do the reveal, which I guess you guys were ahead of me. I was confused at this because he says, oh, you know, the woman I married, she carries this.

Oh, mom carries a stick. So I was like, okay. So he did marry the blind girl Cindy. But during the story, they both call her Cindy. Mom carries a stick. So I was like, okay, so he did marry the blind girl Cindy, but during the story, they both call her Cindy. Like he never says like, oh, your mother or in the kid never says like, oh, so that's mom. No, it's like they call her Cindy and then later it's a reveal that it's the mom. They just don't ever call her that for the purposes of a big reveal.

Yeah, it's the Christian version of how I met your mother when they realized that Robin needed to be the mother and they were running out of seasons. So they were just like, right. So now I want an old man fucker. I don't know, Matt. Don't know. My characters is a rapist and this has really gotten away from us. I mean, I agree.

Their audience is going to come out of this being like, didn't they say she was a psychologist? Like, this relationship doesn't work. This is not morally acceptable. Like, she's a devil, right? No, well, he was a patient and yeah, no, and yeah, it was a forced night in Galifax. So they leave the room to go find mom and we linger on the room long enough to hear demons in the room. So I want to make it very close to the closing messages. Remember kids, there's demons everywhere constantly. Yeah, I know we, they leave with, do you think they're here now? And then everybody, you know, the sudden and dad leaving you think, are we going to see demons? No, we're just going to hear some demons doing like a fat boy chant.

No, God, no, hell, no truth. I think that's what they're saying. It's like, no, God, no, hell, no truth. Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, this is a demon, fat party going on. I do really want to break down this theory. Like, what are they saying when they really say no, God, no, hell, no truth? Is this like a like Jordan B.en like pre-sum positional? If you don't have God, then truth doesn't make any sense. And if you don't have hell,

there's no morality or like, what are you saying? KNOW. Yeah, right. What do you mean here? Are there good demons or bad demons? Are they the good spirits? I don't have no fucking idea. And then at the end, of course, we get the screw tape letters quote, which is wonderful. Yeah, the to paraphrase not believing in demons is stupid. So is believing in them too hard. So you want to find a medium demon believing level. Yeah. So the quote is like, don't be too, you know, carried away and obsessed with demons. So, you know, don't make a whole fucking movie about them or anything like that is one thing you don't want to do. All things in moderation including

skits of freni. It's like a little rose hit. Alright so would anyone like to take a stab at telling me the moral of this story or barring that even the plot. But if you're blind, don't be so negative. Don't jerk off the white people. Not believing in anything is stupid. Never. Blind people have to only believe in nothing because they can't see anything.

So they literally, you are, are there things and they're like, no, I can't see anything. So they literally, you do have a conversation. You're like, are there things? And they're like, no, I can't see them. They're nothing. All right. So it's definitely an anti-blind thing. I think we established that. All right.

So to close things off, I want each of you to imagine that you have a pair of evil, Satan glasses that allows you to see the darkness that lurks inside the hearts of men. And then I want you to look around at the people on the call and tell me what you see. Okay. Well, the anger demon is quivering in fear next to Noah, asking him to tone it down. The Jew demon is whispering an errands ear that he's not fooling anyone. I'm just seeing the people who tweet it Thomas. It's weird. It's weird. We tweet on a not anything.

Some about not being nice enough. I can't hear it. It's a lot of girl dresses anime characters. Anybody else want to try on the glasses? I put them on and stared in Eli's direction and just turned to a pillar of salt so it didn't work. Yeah. I mean, if I'm being totally honest, like I said, it looks exactly the same.

I live in the same universe you all live in and it's just the same horrible void and that we just call them glasses. They're not demon glasses. Here we are now. You don't need any magic to look to your glasses and see me. Yeah, yeah. That's for sure. No, right. I put on the demon glasses and they corrected my astigmatism.

So that's all right. And also, and also we all look at a lot of porn, but that's not even news. Yeah, well, there's, it's porn and better vision. All right. Well, Thomas Aaron, I can't thank you enough for suffering alongside us tonight. Now our listeners have already heard some of the really cool places they can go to hear more from me. And of course, we'll have a few of them linked on the show notes, but you guys have a new project out now as well, right? Yeah. And we're really excited about it. I think it's such a great idea. It's philosophy, but we use sci-fi, our favorite sci-fi episodes of stuff to explain different

concepts. So like we did black mirror and talked about the experience machine. We did Rick and Morty and talked about possible worlds. It's been a lot of fun. I really hope people just just search philosophers and space on whatever podcast thingy and check it out. It is so fun to be doing real philosophy, but also get to kind of fanboy out about some really cool shows. So it's been a, it's been a good time.

Yeah. I mean, that's awesome. That's like one of the real ends for philosophy now is in our science fiction. But the problem with that is that you can only sort of do a brush, right? You can only do like in within the most, most movies anyway. You can only really get the very basic end of it. So like a deeper dive into some of that would be really fucking cool. You guys have any, any plans to do in any Westworld episodes? Ton of the philosophy. Absolutely. Absolutely. Westworld. And Aaron, you know, teaches philosophy. He, he actually knows things. So he's finding us all these cool readings. That's the opposite of what teaching philosophy means.

That's a good point. Yeah. That's great. You say it. That's great. point. Yeah. That's great. As long as you say it, that's great. Yeah. Yeah. He knows fewer things than we do, but he teaches philosophy. So he knows where to find these things that he doesn't know. Awesome.

Awesome. And while that's going to do a far review of visible enemies, that's not going to do it for the episode. Just yet we still need to suck ourselves into doing this again. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. Salty the song book. Oh finally. Yeah. If you get to do it, and you love acid, you're gonna love next week's episode. Do love acid. Yeah. Well, you're a fucking philosophy teacher. Obviously. With that, a little dude and

don't do. Rob. All right. So without the look forward to a good bring episode 132 to a merciful close. Once again, huge thanks to Thomas and Aaron for hanging out with us tonight and a

perhaps even a huge of thanks to all the Patreon donors and help make the show go if you like to get yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com such Godful and thereby earn early access

to an ad version of every episode. You can also help us a ton by leaving us a five star review on iTunes andcom slash God awful and thereby earn early access to an ad for your version of every episode. You can also help us a ton by leaving us five star review on iTunes and by sharing the show and all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our siblings shows. The skating a the citation day today on the skeptic right available on iTunes. Stitcher and everywhere else that podcasts live. God damn it. Now Thomas has more shows than us again.

Fuck. I'm starting to show. Starting to show. And of course, if you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions you can email gotoffamouviesaGmail.com, legal services for this podcast are provided by the law of this is a P.Ed. Retourized our theme song is written and performed by Levi and slot and a convent with Drafts on Mars. All other music was written before by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with

permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for he then write knee-lap Bosnick, I'm no illusions promise nor hard-earned other truck next week until then we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Jackson eventually got LASIK but he was demon LASIK so now he sees demon 24-7 and his life is a rake in my life. Dre gets to sleep in the foyer when it gets really cold. God rewarded Cindy's faith with the gift of sight. Not really, she's still blind.

You want us to keep doing this episode? Just kidding, we'll still keep doing this. Also, Thomas' score doesn't count because we edit our shows. Yeah. Yeah. You want the voices. Oh, nice. Oh, obviously we want. Yeah, great.

We want demon voices. Correct. Ela. Yeah, except for Thomas. Shut up. No, literally because you're just Thomas. They're demons of your Thomas. Oh, really?

Yeah. Okay. Am I like, okay. I love that that just trust me built with Thomas. And he's like, oh, right. Like, I'm just going to be me. Okay. Fuck you.

Now, I'm not sure. What am I doing? They're right. I've written a script and that's absolutely the stronger choice. Read ahead, Mr. Re-Man. Read ahead. It's the best interstitial ever.

All right. You guys ready? I am ready. Yep. All right. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC, cap your A-2018. All rights reserved.

You ready? I am ready. Yep. All right. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC, cap your A-2018, all rights reserved.