God Awful Movies - 141: Cries of the Unborn

Episode Date: May 1, 2018

This week, Andrew Torrez of the Opening Arguments podcast joins us for an atheist review of "Cries of the Unborn", the story of a bunch of people watching the prequel and being really convinced by it. Check out Andrew's podcast here: http://openargs.com/ ---  If you’d like to pick up a copy of our latest ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

Yeah, and and then they have to drill down on what it means to exist right because when you're trying to figure out Whether or not people kidnapped other people What it means to exist is very because if the person didn't exist they couldn't get naptally I'm gonna stop you right there this kid movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey movey move OOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII And he's then right. He's welcome back. Thanks, Noah. You know who's political philosophies don't get combined enough into the message of a movie? Who's that? Machiavelli and Hammurabi. But don't worry. There's at least one example of that.

We'll get to it. Yeah, right. The world's long lost. And of course, sitting anyone in my right is my bad friend Eli Bosnick. Eli, how are you? This fine afternoon, sir. I'm pretty amazing. Noah, the Cristiano Brothers are rapists and I have. Hold on, that's a joke. In fact, that's a callback to a situation so preposterous it requires the fact of the

future delorean to be real. Nobody could take that allegation seriously. Least of all highly litigious Christian filmmakers. I am okay. Well, I am entirely. Yes, I do not. A real thing. I don't think you're giving a good example. All right. And as you may have noticed, sitting 181 miles to my south, southwesters are lawful, neutral guest massacres this week. Andrew Torres is the co-host of the opening arguments podcast. He's an honest to God lawyer. And while he was laying awake at night

at Harvard, tattered copy of to kill a mocking bird beneath his pillow, he probably never thought for a second that this is what he was going to be doing with that education. And through welcome back to God awful movies. Thanks Noah. Hey, you know, who's a great actor? Oh, Mr. T. I miss. Who would have thought would you watch that one with us that that was going to be the good acting you would. Oh, the highlight, right? Clearly, yeah. All right, it gets much worse.

So, uh, Phyllis and Heath, how is it going to get much worse today? Well, uh, we watched cries of the unborn, which is a legal documentary about how 9-11 was actually legal because of Riffra. So it's interesting. I believe Andrew can back me up on that. No, yeah. I think so. And Eli, how bad was this movie?

Well, if you love the life zone, but you've always been upset that nobody's made a clip show of a movie. If you love the life zone, but you've always been upset that nobody's made a clip show of a movie. You will love this movie. It's a clip show of a movie. It is. It's the season finale of another movie. I can't.

It's a, it's a clip show of a movie. It's, and we're going to spend the rest of this episode going off seriously. It's a clip show of a movie. Now, okay, so obviously this movie centers around jury deliberations. And when we first, you know, realized that we said, oh, well, we got to get Andrew on under the assumption that they were going to get some of the legal nuances of the movie wrong. And boy, do we look silly now? I mean, they so nailed it. I guess we're going to have to find some other niche for you. Hi, Andrew. Yeah. Not a lot of people know this know it, but I actually minored in thermostats.

So we're all good. The other major subplot of this believe it or not. Yep. It's going to be huge. All right. So before we really get going, Eli, you were texting me like every second on the second the other day while you dug into the deviled egg munching producer of this film. Is there anything you'd like to share with the audience of that you discovered in his

bio? There is so much I want to share. So Ken Dovetchio, first of all, keep in mind the entire time we're talking about the legal things and the legal conversations in this movie that Kendall Vichio has written two law books. He is a former prosecutor and a former judge. He is a former judge and he wrote this movie, not just that, but Kendall Vichio makes exactly two kinds of movies. Grindhouse soft core pornography with like gory, bloody guts, films like scavenger killers

and dead. He made a movie called Joker's Wild about the Aurora shooting. It's a pro second amendment movie where a young girl stops the basically the Aurora shooting with the gun her dad left her. But the craziest thing of all, he ran for Congress where he was the first congressional candidate to support Trump. He lost. He was asked to step down by a New Jersey board of judges because he was promoting his film as a judge. Justice. While a judge and the film was about a judge who goes on a murder rapes free, the police

promoting as a judge was about a judge in his secretary who go on a body and Clyde gory murder rapes free. He made a mockumentary about himself, which is not, I don't think he knows what mockumentary means. He is a rab, everything he says and does is fascinating. And he'll do your wedding right there on his website. If I drive him in and I'll shoot your wedding, I will do absolutely anything to meet with Ken Davic here.

He's also in Jersey. So like, I need to find him and see what's going on. It's fascinating. All right. All right. So my wife and I will get divorced and, uh, and we'll get that corrected. We'll bring, we'll bring Ken in. That'll be awesome. All right. So is there anything that you guys other than, obviously, the producer and director? Is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Yeah. I'm going to say best worst, good guys and ugly bad guys being super obvious. Like we meet a jury of people arguing about abortion and the two like pro life obvious

people at the beginning, they like met inside a J crew magazine where they were magically spawned. And the pro choice people are like frumpy and bald and old and fat and an anti Muslim propaganda poster. Yeah. One of the so blatant. Andrew, any best words? Yeah, I, I was going to say best worst double on Tundra. We'll get to that. But, but

yes, but I think I'm going to go with the best worst use of a time machine because this movie could only have been made by somebody who'd listened to the game episode of the life zone thought, oh, hey, those guys make some pretty good points. Let's go back to 2017 and make a movie about that movie that tries to answer them and that also includes every single clip the game guys made fun of. Only because and I hesitate to mention this yet again, but this is a clip show of the last movie, which leads into my best words, which was best worst excuse to play the clip. Now, in order for this whole concept to work, we have to believe that there was a kidnapping that took place where they videotape the entire kidnapping with a three camera situation going on, right? Like we

were getting close ups and and and and constant everything. Um, but and then throughout all of it, we've got this jury sit around talking about what happened and they're they keep going back to well, let's play that clip again. And the reasons are increasingly insane as it goes on. They show, they show a horror movie to a jury and ask them to a quiz. So yes. And apparently in real life, this guy was doing that. It was like, Hey man, exhibit a can't be your movie every time you do a case that you can't just put that in. No. Jesus. Eli, any best worst? I'm going to go with best worst understanding of the law. I am genuinely afraid of what Candelveteo thinks the law should be. Like, if he gets all the infinity stones, what does the universe look like in Can Del Vecchio's

world? What does he, how does he think the law works? How was he a lawyer? How was he a judge? There's someone walking around right now who went to jail because of Can's dead of Betio's. This movie would be my appeal. I would appeal might as I would be like, wait, let me see.

I would get all of his cases and my only appeal would be to send people a DVD of this movie. I would get everyone he ever convicted acquitted. All right. So we should mention that on opening arguments, Andrew does a monthly bonus thing for his patrons called law lawful movies where they discuss movies that have terrible interpretations of the law. So you're kind of an expert here. Like how bad is this like where would it fall in the, you know, list of the worst understandings of law in your experience with them?

You know, surprisingly well. And it gets the, it gets the job of a foreman. It does that worse than Paulie Schor's jury duty. But, but they have, they have a character on the jury who introduces herself as having attended one year of law school before quitting. And she is exactly what everybody sounds like who's had one year and only one year. Yeah, so I'm going to give it a, you know, 65 on that, on that scale. It's a deep, all right.

All right. Well, an immeasurably small amount of shit actually happens in this movie. So we're going to take a quick break to decide what we're going to be talking about for this episode. And when we come back, we'll dive into all the straw man munging that is the cries of the unborn. Can so glad you could come. Come on in and have a seat. Oh, yeah. Okay, I was sure as I got your email.

Well, I had to lose a tail first. I did not know you did. So I mean, go with my new movie idea. See, that's what my email was about. I'm not sure that I understand what your new movie idea is. But essentially the, the manifesto, yes, you did all, all 300 pages written in your feces. Most of that wasn't mine.

Of course, of course. Okay. Yeah, but see, the thing is, most of that was about how the girl at the Wendy's drive through was trying to tell you something with her posture. Yeah, but you know, if you read every 23rd word, I know it seemed like the idea you had for your next movie is your last movie. Exactly. Right, but that's not an idea.

Of course it is. Movies are all about fantasies brought to life, right? Yeah, sure, I guess. And my fantasy is a bunch of people in a room watching my last movie and being like really convinced by it. So you want to pay people to pretend to be impressed by your last movie by By my last movie, exactly, yes. All right. Are you sure? Yes. Any other questions? Yeah, I might regret this, but whose poop was the rest of the manifesto written in? Mr. Lozure made me promise not to tell.

closure made me promise not to tell. And we're back for the breakdown. And we're going to start off with a reminder that this movie comes from justice for all productions. And that includes blastocysts, dammit. Speaking of dammit, by the way, my first note in this was music dammit. The music definitely reminded me that I could have been watching Avengers Infinity War. But no, thanks for that. I appreciate it. This one had the better ending. So, okay, so we're going to start this movie off with the

simultaneous birth scene that ended the last film. Right. And I had forgotten how silly this is. I just wrote in my notes, this scene couldn't be sillier if she pulled out a series of interconnected babies like the magician. Oh, what's up, black baby? Chinese baby. Whoa.

Hey, no spoilers for later on in the movie. Yeah, yeah, right. So my first thought on this was, okay, because this is, this movie is, we watched the movie the life zone before. That was the Robert Lozza, uh, uh, uh, guest appearance in the anti-abortion movie. The rest of this movie is going to be a jury deciding if the characters in that movie were guilty, but it just starts us off at the end of the last movie. And I thought, holy shit, how lost is Andrew right now?

I keep this. Who is this movie for? I mean, like, if you've seen the life zone, then like presumably you could just play your own clips. And if you didn't, it makes no sense. I think if the movie must only be for people who listened to the game episode and didn't watch the movie. Like me.

So I, right based on the number of views it had on YouTube, I think you might be right. So okay. So we were watching three kidnap women, just to fill everybody in who didn't listen to the life zone episode three women were kidnapped and forced to give birth, despite the fact that they were at abortion clinics actively having abortions when they were kidnapped. Now all three of them are going into labor at the exact same moment. There's one nurse like running between them like Bobby Fisher and like, she did it. Except bad. Except bad, right? So she's like, you know, it's like the, the women giving birth are screaming. I get that. The nurse shouldn't be screaming

bad. No, she's screaming weird shit too. At one point she goes, you're the closest to one of them. Like one of them, I wanted them to get all like super competitive at that point. Yeah, right. They start grabbing legs and pulling like that. Who's winning now? Who's winning now? Count it.

Interference. It's brainwaggle. It's pushing, pushing the babies back up each other's major. No, no. This may be my favorite line of dialogue in the movie because the the the the nurse ratchet character says you have twins and then the stacey says what? And then nurse ratchet says you have two babies like I don't think I was trying to define the word twins. Right.

It's like Abram Zucker and Zucker. The son, what is it? It's a fiery ball at the center of our unit. No, it's not, but they don't, but they think that's real. That won't be the only airplane reference I have in this episode by the way. The judges appearance takes on a very Leslie Nielsen. They're all pulling for you kind of a feel before it's over, but we'll get to him. Okay. So we have

that scene. And then it comes up and it says, cries of the unborn. And you expect that it will now go on to a new movie, but no, we're still watching the last scene from the previous movie. The doctor just slaps all the fetuses right in the face. Okay. So, but we're getting now the twist ending of the last movie. So in the last movie, these three girls were kidnapped. They were held until they gave birth. But then at the very end, it turned out that the one girl was pregnant again right away after her last pregnancy. And it's because she's in hell. Yeah, I don't understand. So like the idea is that her torment is to have kids over and over. Yeah. Yeah. To be a Christian. She hasn't she hasn't abortion or she has a kid. And

then she's immediately pregnant again. Like that's what Satan came up with. I don't know, like I want to see the meeting when Satan's management team came up with that torment plan. Yeah, right. Like, oh, okay. So, um, Steve, what do you got? Oh, well, I was thinking she has like a bunch of babies. Oh, okay. Like fire babies. Yeah, like they're not learning. No, no, just I just, I just meant like regular, regular baby. She has babies. I'd love to get fire in there somehow or some evil just in terms of branding, right? Because it's like a, okay.

Like I down cross on the wall. That's what I needed. Lunch. Perfect. All right. So we watched that through and a TV turns off. It turns out we're in a jury deliberation room. All right, so we watched that through and a TV turns off. It turns out we're in a jury deliberation room.

There's a term for that, isn't there? Anyway, so we're with a jury. They have just watched that movie. And if I had the chance to sneak a cut of Eli into just one of our movies, the long pause after the forum and goes, well, that would probably get my vote. And of course, this is the

jury that's going to spend this film deciding whether the characters from the last movie are innocent or guilty. We first meet the foreman who is going to just be a performance in competent.

I want to point out throughout this movie, throughout the entire run length of the movie, the format will be unable to subtract any number from 12. Even when that number is one. Yes, he's going to need to write that shit down. All right. One second. Here we go. Carry the zero. Like, seriously,. Here we go. Carry the zero.

Like seriously, that happens several times. Like the foreman is mentally disabled. Like is that allowed? Like serious question, Andrew, are mentally disabled? People allowed on Juries? Is that thing? Dude, I can't do it.

No, no, no. I can't do it. I demand a dudely day. This is tire movies. Can be nothing but me doing disclaimers anyway. Yeah, not guilty Clowns and up there covered in blood. They like That's why Bill Cosby was innocent the first time. Oh, I Love putting I love putting. I love putting. Oh, what were we saying before that at it? All right. So yeah, so the the four men, he calls for a vote and 11 of the 12 of

them vote, not guilty or vote guilty, guilty rather but there is one not guilty vote and the rest of my notes by the way i have her is not guilty lady because no one ever gets a name in this movie no anyway and they count the eleven guilty votes yeah and and the foreman's like and how many for not guilty? It's amazing. I can guess. All right, let's do a guilty again. Sorry, I lost count.

And he's writing it down. He's got a pad. He's writing down the numbers one through 12. I don't know. Doing tallies. I have no idea. Yeah, we're just drawing dicks. Yeah.

And just to clarify for people who are confused because I was fucking confused. What they're saying here is the twist ending of the last movie was fake. They weren't actually in hell. These were kidnappers who pretended she was in hell at the end of the kidnapping. Yeah.

So, okay, so one lady votes not guilty. And another guy turns around and goes, are you kidding me? We have confessions. And then I'm like, well, then why the fuck is there a jury? Were they pleading not guilty? By reason of those bitches deserving it. Yeah, it's just like, okay,

just want you to hear this out loud. You think Satan is not guilty of kidnapping a pregnant woman. Yes. Okay. I just wanted you to say that. Got it. So I have this guy as baby, Mark Cuban in my notes. It's, it's just, it bears repeating, right?

Kendall Vecchio is a, is a former judge. He's a practicing lawyer in Hackensack, New Jersey. I think he knows that when people confess to crimes, you don't have a trial just for the hell to, you don't stick the jury in a law library and they don't get DVDs of the movie that criminals made about themselves. But we're three minutes into this movie and my head is already exploded. It's fantastic. I don't know.

It's do practice in Jersey, Andrew. I feel like it's different stuff there. It's true. Check it out. Most people aren't supposed to vomit on a ferry either, but they do you practice in Jersey, Andrew? I feel like it's different stuff there. True. Check it out. Most people aren't supposed to vomit on a ferry either, but they do that in New Jersey. So you know, that's pretty standard. It's called through there. I think you're racist. I'm just throwing that out. I think you're also very important that I point this out. It's uncomfortably chilly in this room. This is the subplot of the film. Well, it is that it's, I was just going to say in fairness, it's a 50, 50 tie between how cold the room is

and the market human secret business meeting and they both pay off deliciously. Oh, God. Yeah, we will spend an anordinate amount of time in this movie going like, it's cold. We should call a somebody to fix that. Yeah, we'll do that in another scene. All right. So not guilty lady has voted not guilty and they've decided instead of asking are, okay, why would you think the people who confess to the crime didn't commit it? Instead of asking her that, they say, let's all go in the around the room in a circle

and explain why we do think the people who confessed to the crime are guilty of the crime they confessed to. Oh, God. Cause you know what it is? Kendall Vecchio saw 12 angry men, which makes a bunch of legal mistakes as it is. Oh, yeah. He saw 12 angry men. And what he got from 12 angry men is

it's about one guy who changes everybody's mind. And you know, the way journeys work where they go around in a circle and share their, I thought they were going to do ice breakers. All right. Now you fall back into my arms. Yeah. I'm not the fetus monkey. Yeah, right. Okay. So they're going to go around and I'll explain why kidnapping is wrong. And I'm just already writing, oh my fucking God, get on with it because what's happening here is unlike 12 angry men where we're going to slowly establish a reasonable doubt.

In this movie, if she just says what she's thinking, everybody just go, oh, that's fucking stupid. The movie's over. So they have to like ease us into her argumentation, right? Which is that it's justified kidnapping. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. As a matter of fact, the guy next to her says, well, maybe they were justified. And another guy says, what? And he says, I was just asking a question. And I'm like, no, you weren't. You said, maybe they were just, maybe they were just,

that's not a question. Maybe it's not a question word. Oh, everyone who's got that ant at Thanksgiving knows exactly what that question is. I'm just saying, maybe if you prayed a little harder, you wouldn't be a homosexual. That's a question. Have you?

That's not a question. I'm just asking questions. I'm sorry. Homosexual. Now, that's a question. Thank you. Wait, I love this moment in the movie too, because at one point while they're arguing, one one person says, well, the twins testified, the twins that were forced to be born, the twins

testified about what? About how glad they are to be a law. Really, you guys are nitpicking the fact that they had occasional unnecessary testimony in a movie where the defendants have confessed to the crime. Why not have the twins testify? Why not? in a movie where the defendants have confessed to the crime. Why not have the twins testify? Why not like let's take a break and watch some movies in the middle. I want to watch that testimony, though. The kids just like, so how do you feel about being alive?

Would you be sad if I killed you right now? Yes. Case closed your honor. Sadly, the kids are seven. Like it would be great if they were 15 and like, you know, the little Delveque boy with the mop top is like all emo and, you know, yeah, right. I'm running down and it's like, look, go right ahead and bluff and we should never have been boy. All right. Yeah. I would have ruined that testimony in that of seven year old. I would have crushed their case. I'm going to crush their case.

And this is where, and this is where they try to write out the surprise ending from the last one that Eli mentioned, where one guy goes, heck, they even tried to make her think she was in hell after she gave birth by what? By disappearing the other two women while she was looking like like a fucking David Copperfield giant magic trick and replacing them with an upside down cross is that what they did? Why would they have done? This is better than Pamela dreaming season eight of Dallas people and and then What happened after that? She was like, oh, I'm in hell and they were like now after that, she was like, Oh, I'm in hell. And they were like, no, no, but you're begging if you were, great show everybody.

I, great show. When I thought this was a courtroom drama, I was saying they're wondering like did, did, did the magician who helped them kind of plan the disciplinary, like, was he also incited in the kid tapping? Like, is he part of the school? But yeah, no, the, the, the, the movie answers that one for you. Yes, it that was Robert Lozier definitely the magician who did that was definitely Robert Lozier who then plays Satan in their little fucking skits. So that this means the kidnappers were like, all right, we need a skit now about being in hell. Who does a good Satan impression? Yes. And they all had like, doling Satan impression.

And he knows you want good, it got awful movies. So, you know, one guy didn't get to be Satan, and he was a total bitch about it the rest of the picture. He was like, no, no, no, it's just me, Jerry the Kidnapper with no speaking roles. It's my turn. And I was gonna be like, na, na, na. In the internal logic of this movie,

what's the point of trying to convince Stacy that she's in hell? Like I get that it's a red hand and everything, but like this movie never answers that question of like, did they just decide to be extra mean to her? Because she didn't change her mind at this. Oh, what? Let's record the aggravated circumstances for committing this crap. Yeah. Why?

Yeah. All right. So, and then this is the first time that they're like, well, I guess to really answer this question, we would have to play a clip from the previous film that has nothing to do with what we're talking about. Right? So, your number two is like, well, they clearly premeditated this and someone's like, did they?

And like, how the fuck with, no, they found this, but he's like, no, I have a clip that proves it. So we watch a clip of the nurse, when the nurse first came in to tell the three of them that she'd kidnapped them and was going to force them to give birth. Yeah. And this is my favorite. You're discriminating against women. I can't. I am

a woman. I just want to hurt a pop up next to chance the rapper black people don't have to be Democrats. Yes. Well, either this movie is right or I'm better at being a black guy than Kanye West. So is the options. Yeah. Q. E. D. I know the answer. I know the answer. And also like the, I think this clip really just reminds us that, you know, if we feel like the acting is bad in this movie, just be thankful we're not watching the life zone again, right? Because this is the light of the bit where the Laura character, one of the kidnap girls goes like, you have violated one of my most precious of constitutional rights. Maybe, maybe. Peter Singer pops up next to her.

I am on board. What are we doing? What are we doing? What is it? Come on. Also, I love this line from the previous movie, the, the chick who just said that, the thing about the precious, most precious constitutional rights. Nurse Ratchet turns to her and says, Laura, the typical lawyer.

Is that, is that right? Answer. Is that why you got into the business? Cause there's so many hotties in it. Well, since, since, uh, I, I have this woman as, uh, slightly disheveled hot Noah, yeah, yeah. Well, hold on to be fair. That actress is also in porn. And as Andrews pointed out, the smartest legal mind in the country is also in porn. Yeah, typical, typical lawyer. Exactly. All the seamless. Akira. So yeah,

so we get done with the clip and we go back to the jury and then they start trying to write out more elements of the previous movie. Right. Like one guy goes, I still can't believe two of those three kidnap girls were in on the kidnapping and just pretending the whole time, even though that makes this last movie not make. I can't believe two of those three kidnap girls were in on the kidnapping and just pretending the whole time, even though that makes this last movie not make, I can't believe that's what we're going with is what I'm saying. I can't believe the script for this movie. What? It doesn't seem like the other two kind of committed to the bit a little too hard.

Like it feels like this militant pro life cult is maybe also an improv team. And they're really more focused on the acting part. And I was like, all right, well, kidnapping's done. So you can stop fucking acting now. Like we're done. No. And what do you mean acting?

Well, and I got to say, if you want to know how committed they were to this bit, keep in mind that in the first movie, Laura, one of the ones that was pretending to be the kid ever wakes up before anyone else, right? So she was just getting into character at that point. Emotional prep. That's why that scene made no sense. Now we know she was to advise her emotional prep. She's shaking the ladder.

I loved my shaking the ladder reference. Hi, how's it going? I should quit acting school. It doesn't I just want to know how the example of this group, right? Like did they place ads on the paper in the village Of like if you'd like to be at a pro-life improv kit napping troop like Hey, when I was auditioning full- time, I would have at least showed up for the open box. So I'm sorry, this is equity.

Yeah. Okay, so I have to actually get pregnant and have a child for this bill. Okay, but can you tap dance? Man. Okay. Other implication moving on from that painful moment moving on another implication that He's just into that is that they had to get simultaneously pregnant Which means at some point the improv troupe was like so

We were thinking We were thinking. Because it seems to be to the day. You need to make sure you guys are okay. Same day. Who has played the cookie game? Who's good at that? We're gonna need to be dead on. Just like the cookie game.

You know, except I have tracked it up some rather strange contracts during my tenure here at Puzzlewood, a thunder, we got the better. Okay, great. Oh my God, Andrew, I might just engage you at your normal fee to write me up what the contract would look like for this acting role. All right. John reward. We will send you the contract. Well, let's see, it's going to be between David Deniston and Peggy Peterson. Yeah. All right. So, all right. So then we go back to the jury. So the foreman can say that he's impressed with the acting. There is a lot of this movie spent going like, you know, the acting was pretty good, despite what the reviews say on IMDB and stuff, the acting on this was pretty spot-off.

This should all be a movie. Honestly, 2.1 was so much. It's just that. But like for real, like we're interesting, our lives. And this is when one of the actors goes, well, I mean, they testified in front of us in a totally normal tone, at which point one of the other characters screams like they are on fire. Nobody talks to the foreman like that. Yeah. That's a, that's a slight legal inaccuracy. And I look like it's been mostly spot on to date, but like the, the

format is not like the king of the, right, the foreman's job is basically to run messages on behalf of the jury to the secretary for the judge, right? Which by the way, he does not do in this movie. No, it's not. Well, what way he calls her? What I really I really want it when I saw that I really wanted to do like a sketch where me and Heath are fighting over being the foreman just like I call chair. I go for him and chair. I'm wearing the helmet. So and I believe that's one of the other jurors.

I know what you have in mind still counts. The defendant is just dropping candy corn as he walks out of the court. All right. So at this point, not guilty lady pipes up to say, well, yes, but they're intense in the kidnapping was to prevent baby murder. But first the Eastern European lady steps up and she's like, well, I'm a lawyer, Dr. ethicist astronaut wizard and medical ethics of space magic 101 says we need to look at the intent. And then not guilty, ladies like, well, you're all looking at intent. That's actually stupid. We need to look at why they do this. And everyone's

like, wow, you're younger than the four. And again, this is really perfect. Like what a first year law student would say, right? Like, law 101 says that we look to the men's rare, which I have looked up in that. And in the in the in a criminal case, like that just means did you have the intent to do the thing that you did, right? Which again, right, right. Take a person and kidnap them and hold them against their will for seven months, which is only undisputed. That's the bad. Like the jury's job is to find the facts. It's not, all right. Sorry. Anyway. Yeah. Right. It's not to determine well, but yes, but did they have a good reason to kidnap her for seven? Yeah. That's not what it is. Sorry. I don't know. I don't know. It's actually examining the law in this movie. I'll stop.

Well, he stole a loaf of bread to save his sister's son. Oh, well, in that case, yeah. All right. So, and one of the, if the Eastern European lady is like, are you saying that people should be allowed to commit crimes if they, if against people who act in legal ways they disagree with? And she's like saying that I'm making a whole fucking movie about. I really wanted her to just turn to her and be like, look at me. Look at me. Yeah. That is my whole thing.

Yeah, instead we get the jingliest of jingli keys because what the script writer has done is written in for the, the, the, the Matt Damon stunt double character sitting next to her, uh, to say, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second. Okay. Yeah. Have you forgotten about everything now? Yeah. Cause that was a really good point. We don't have an answer to that one. Yeah. Right. Well, but that's, that's where he chimes in to go. Well, I don't know though, I'd kidnap people to save unborn kids. It's like, well, then you can't be on this, on a jury or then you should have been, they should have, at least they should have got you out in that little thing they do with the questions.

Yeah. And then they have to drill down on what it means to exist, right? Because when you're trying to figure out whether or not people kidnapped other people. What it means to exist is very because if the person didn't exist, they couldn't kidnap them. Heliologically. I'm going to stop you right there. Let's go back to the word kidnap. Judge, can you send in a teenager with a bong and a black light? We're trying. Judge can you send in a teenager with a bong and a black light we're trying What if would I see his boo

Not guilty she goes she goes well, but this this baby was two months old It had arms and legs and fingers just like babies and mice and tarda grots and cloth footed dressers What is your fucking boy? By the way, everyone always does this, but like Google image two month old fetus. Oh God. You to picture is like a tiny bean size baby. What it looks like is a wet shift. I did this, right? And even and I pulled up one of these like happy, clappy little follow your pregnancy

sites, right? That's like your baby at eight weeks and and the positive thing on the screen is at eight weeks. Your baby is the size of a raspberry. And like, I yeah, it is it does not have arms and legs and a brain and it cannot, you know, deliver a dissertation on salt and all this shit. dissertation on sart and all the shit. It's got battles. It's got battles that aren't even in the position of arms yet that look like they're eating the little heart. It's, yeah, it's right, right.

It looks absolutely like Yoshi chewing on his own heart is what it looked like to me. So okay. And then of just asking questions, guy, Matt Damon stunt double. Here he goes. Well, now I think we can all agree that babies are alive at the point of conception he thinks we can all agree with the thing that only approximately 20% of people in this country agree with and that's because we're a dumb country and i was so confused here i was like wait because the one of the major arguments in this

movie will be well we don't know when life begins, except that the basic assumption is, I know when life begins. Yeah. I know exactly the moment when life begins. And then later on, they'll be like, no, but it knows when life begins, except that lady. She knows. Whatever one else. Just guess it.

And I just want to point out again, you know, as an outsider coming into this, like I, as a listener, I, I, I listened to the life zone and I was going, Oh, Eli and Heath keep saying that the lady keeps saying that, you know, it's alive as soon as come touches an egg. And I was, oh, it's a wacky joke. No, that's literally what she says in this movie without a trace of irony. Like, that's not a joke. That's the script. Oh, absolutely. She's like, yep, come as a person right away.

And one other guy is like, hold on. Well, that's a great point. I'm pro choice, but I never thought that come as a person with you really think about it. You know what? Let's look at a video. Let's look at a video. Ready?

Ready watch. Come, come, come, come, come person. Also, I just realized that I'm a mass murderer because of all the jerking off. So one of you wouldn't mind kidnapping me or actually, you know what? No, no fresh idea here. One of you should rape me. I don't know. It's not me from jerk enough, right? Well, but now, apparently though, and Andrew, you can back me up on this, if you rape someone as long as you get them pregnant and then kidnap them, that's partly legal, right? Well, well, you need to figure out first is not just, is it legally wrong, but is it morally wrong?

Well, right. Right. Well, Andrew, I'm really glad you gave that answer because it is relevant to my situation. Don't take legal advice from God awful movies. Well, I think you're allowed to rape somebody to prevent them from kidnapping somebody who's gonna kidnap somebody who's gonna prevent an abortion. Right. No, right.

That would be, yeah, if you unaborted, undidn't unkidnap the kidnap the right kidnap the abortion. Exactly. Exactly. And was the guy fucking himself? He's just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, kidnets today. I, I, I, I, I, I, I rape kidnap myself. I, I don't want to spoil later in this movie, but like not guilty. The protagonist of this movie will say, well, when a human life is involved, that outweighs everything else, including your stupid rights. Like I think that really the implication of this movie is to stop abortion. There's literally nothing you cannot do. Yeah, well, I was starting to wonder at a certain point how it was even legal

to make this movie, right? Because that's so clearly the message of this is like, but if you bomb the abortion clinic and no janitors get killed, I'd be right. And like, isn't that the argument that they're presenting? I think it goes beyond that, right? Because you should have been, you should have been cleaning up in that abortion clinic, right? You chose that. You chose that. You didn't get raped into it. And even if you did, this movie would still think you don't want you wear into plan parenthood. That is the question. I should have stolen the car. The guy who was going to rape you into being the shooter at the time. I just followed the chicken. Not the toe to stop the toe. All right. So now they're going to, they're going to vote again to suspense

music number six. So the format goes through the votes. Now again, as you recall, he's not super good with numbers. And, and, and really, honestly, the reason he is in this, because Ken knows, right? He doesn't know a lot about making movies, but he knows the people we're going to like this movie is going to need someone at the end to go. All right, that was nine guilty and three not guilty. Giant sigh of relief from the foreman who's like pouring. So that's nine guilty and and yeah. You didn't love you, but I should thank you, but I was going to say I was going to say it at the same time. One, five, two, three countdown was what I was doing.

Three, three, three. We let it. We all counting down to get on three. I was counting up first and then why did you throw rock? There's three papers. I thought you might have gotten an abortion. So I threw a rocket. You have to. I've perfectly legally. And the camera resumes it on that third thought and it is just not, by the way, it is not. Yeah, right. It could not be bothered. No, I was

taking back my last one like the Wayne's World joke. No, okay. So and they're like three not guilty votes. Who's the second one, which is kind of weird and Matt Damon's stunt double goes, well, I voted not guilty because I started thinking about my kids not being alive. Yeah, I think this is literally the argument for kidnapping anyone who is doing anything other than having a hot, unprotected sex every moment of their life. He's also crazy over here. The guy goes, look, if my wife was going to have an abortion, I'd kidnap the fuck out of her and they ever say, yeah, well, no, that would be, I guess I would too.

What? That is the craze, right? Literally, that is the craziest thing I have ever, the good guy in the movie is like, I mean, I would kidnap my wife. And everyone's like, run, run, run, run, run. Yeah, of course. Well, and this is where they have to follow up

with Eastern European lady going, well, I don't know if kidnapping is or isn't forbidden by law, but dot, dot, dot. I mean, if the guy from saw had a fetus on the line, I totally get it. Like I mean, he has pretty good motivation there. That's fair. So there's a, there's a lawyer guy, a wide tie guy who is going to be central to the plot later on. This is when he voiced my inner monologue and was like,

hey, why are you people fucking idiots, right? At which point, one of the guys goes, hey, hey, hey, you don't call names, okay? Just because someone disagrees with you about kidnapping. Also, would you like to fight? I'm here to challenge you to a fight. It is so perfectly the pro life stance. It's just like, hey, no need for

instability. Would you like to have a fist fight? I guarantee you, if Kendall Vecchio gets his hands on this episode, he will end up challenging us to a fist fight. In my heart and mind that in a six minute conversation with Kendo Vecchio and which you disagree, three of them are him hinting that he could kick your ass. That Jersey guy thing is doing burpees on the ground. It could be you. It could be you.

When we're putting someone up, we're all agreed. That's that's heath, right? Absolutely. Heath does fighting on behalf of the company. Yeah. No, it does work. He does fighting and eating contest. You do loyering.

I do raping. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.

I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. This is why we needed you on this particular episode. Andrew, I hope you understand. All right.

So then not guilty lady tribes in and she's like, but remember all those pictures they showed us of crushed baby heads from abortions like in the kid. Not the case. Remember how some of the admissible evidence was crushed baby heads from abortions. You know, most people don't know this, but in all my breach of contract cases, I like to submit crushed baby heads into evidence. It's exactly the same. You're all gonna have to say that.

Just so they know. So they know who you're not fucking around. You're on a unlike to submit the panicked fever dreams and call the fever ring. There's a lot about murdering her children. As a long callback. Yeah. She let her child down.

I thought. All right. So now we get, we have to, we have to set up another clip. And this is going to be the clip of my favorite scene of the life zone and possibly of all time in which Kendall Vecchio will be eating eggs and poning a pro choicer. Yeah, it's pretty, I mean, he's eating deviled eggs just tearing through them and they're scotch and there's killing babies.

Like, it's really personal. My buttons feel like they start like whispering and tapping stuff. That's like great ASMR. Just like, cut in a fetus and half withus in half with scotch tape it back together. And we can't, but then ripple party. Yeah, well, yeah, exactly. I can't really go for some eggs. Scotch right now. Anyway, right? Not so much the dead fetus. But all right. So, and we have to emphasize here that like we're making this joke, you have to imagine a guy who as he's talking is actively shoving devils eggs into his mouth, shits fly in

out of it and stuff as he's talking. Like that's literally how this scene plays out. It's like vegan propaganda. Like it's, it's like it was vegan propaganda and the guy was like, oh, babies are so important. Eats an egg. Oh, babies, we shouldn't kill people's babies. I'd be like, oh, okay, the earthlings guy got out of whatever grass trap they're putting him in and he's getting back into his combine.

But I'm sorry, I want to go back to this idea of it's okay to commit a crime to stop another crime because I just want to know what would happen if they were in this jury room and that went wrong went wrong went wrong. Well here's something public. I changed my vote to not guilty. No, no, you can't do that. You can't just switch. Yes, she can. That's her right. But, but if she does, she'll set a criminal free. That's a good point. We should kidnap her. Yes, kidnap. What? No, I'll kidnap you. No, I can

not you now. No, no, I'm kidnap again. I'm kidnap again. You guys, you're both kidnapped. Not if I kidnap you first. No, it's not. You can't kidnap the kidnap. You're kidnap. Everyone's kidnaped. Dogpot. I mean, it makes sense to me.

That's all I'm saying is this is all into the kidnaps circle. It ends in a kidnap circle. Also, okay. So then we get done with that clip. The foreman turns to everybody and they're like, and he's like, well, and everybody's like, yeah, that dude totally should have arrived having eaten. Why wouldn't he? It's disgusting.

And then they start having the debate again about when a drop of cum becomes a human being, which is immediately, by the way, instantaneously, is the correct answer. And the claim that she makes is like, look, in 1973, a Borsanist could just pull a baby out of the womb and shoot it in the head. That's it. Yeah. I never thought I'd be because somebody brings up Roe v. Wade. Roe v. Wade is still good law.

And that's why she says the 1973, that's the year it came out. Right. I never thought I would be on a podcast answering the question, can a jury in a kidnap in case in New Jersey overturned 45 years of Supreme Court precedent? No, I did. No, no, it cannot. Sorry. Yeah, no, the argument she's making is back in 73, a baby couldn't

live outside of the womb after five months. Now it can. So therefore you can't say that when a baby or when a fetus can live on its own, that's when it's alive because that would change and things changing makes them not count. But while she's saying all of this, this actual line appears, she says, so abortionist could just blast their brains to smithereens and kill them like a house fly. All right. How does she kill house flies? What? I just wanted to show a video of Planned Parenthood killing flying fetus. Just flying out of the putt over the inside of the fetus just flying around and I was swatting and like Mr. Miyagi doing an abortion with the excess.

See, I went the other direction. I pictured this woman like executing a house flying an ISIS video. Yeah. Right. Right. And I just went with the average house fly is one centimeter long. And the average eight week fetus is one and a half centimeters long. So yeah, you could use the same, but no, you have to blow their brains to Smith. Are you have to get a little little tiny bomb. They make these very small little bombs for playing.

So apparently they have to ask the judge though about the house five brain explosions. So the four men calls the secretary or whatever. And he says, is there a law that says like what a human life is? And I want the secretary to be like, yes, Roe v. Wade, I'm not gonna bother the fucking judge with that. Yes, idiot. But I'm sorry, I actually really want to hear that conversation with the judge. How is that conversation going to go?

Hi, judge Taurus. Hi, Judge Torres. Yeah, that's never gonna happen. Thanks to you. What? No, never mind. Sorry, I had nothing. Yeah, sorry. We were just wondering, uh, when is a baby a human being?

You, you were wondering when a baby was a human being in this kit napping case. Yeah, because like, I tell the baby thing that we thought of, I am, I am. Because like, if someone was going to murder my kid, right, I would stop that. Yeah, stopping a crime isn't a crime. That's called self-defense. This is a kidnap in case it's about a crime.

It wouldn't be legal to kidnap somebody to protect your child. It would be legal to stop them from murdering your child. Right, right. So kidnap is never legal. That's why you're here. He's never legal. It's never legal. Thanks.

Great. Good. I don't think he has that right. Yes. Yeah, and I'm coming out of that setup. The woman goes, well, that sounds like a very well thought out question. Does it? Does it really use the term something growing inside a woman instead of fetus at that point?

Or was that a very well thought out question? I don't, I feel like it was not. Also, small thing, we see a box with the evidence in it. And on the box, it says case number six six seven. Oh, really? So why would it be one like, did they round an integer up to another? What, what, what, what was case six or was this the one? I don't understand. I feel like that would have been giving it away too much or something. It's a very subtle then. Yeah. Why didn't notice it? Um, all right. So now, not guilty, ladies, says, you know, she's like,

okay, well, let's all be honest. Obviously, I'm right. Science and shit says that Okay, well let's all be honest obviously I'm right science and shit says that Come is a human and in the middle of that point the judge pops in And I mean pops is right like within five seconds wearing robes like he's Judicial iron man and there's like a real back to just like shoot him into a shit and he flies over. And he's doing a bit too. I mean like, yes, yes, he's all shit. You know, who does not just pop into the jury deliberation room to run? I like judge danger field over here.

He's like, I'm gonna tell you all the good memories back from this jury. Like, it's amazing. He's touching. He's, he's doing a ton of touching. He comes in and he immediately starts like running his hands up and down. Everybody's arms. He's like, something on your shirt gag. He like pulls the ropes over his head. And he's like, oh, look, I'm an anti-cland member. Just kidding. It's nuts. It absolutely is. So and also, like I said, he just, he burst into the room like like Kramer. Now he's going to do this over and over again.

From this point on, he's going to do this every few minutes or so. And so ridiculous. They might as well have him like pop it out of a cabinet. Like he's delivering a punchline and a joke from laughing or something or pop it out of a trash can. Like he's going to teach some kids to count and set some he's straight. Over and over again, he's gonna do that.

So he comes in and he works the room a little. Oh, Jesus. And then he gives the answer to their question, but he gives it with like really telling ellipses, right? Because he's like, yes, if someone shoots a pregnant woman in the stomach or in the face, he clarifies. Doesn't really matter where he shoots her. That person is guilty of a double. And I hear this from like pro lifers lot who don't understand that this is a pro choice argument,

right? Like the reason it's a crime to shoot a pregnant woman is because it's up to her to decide what to do with the thing inside of her and not you, but anyway. Yes. Yeah, I mean, doesn't that mean it's a double kidnap? I feel like they're focused on the wrong thing. Also, it's weird how you said the location of the kill shot, but she's like, but really the double kidnapping thing is what we should focus on. So in 23 states, I'd Google this, it doesn't matter what state of pregnancy someone is in, which seems I would feel cheated if I like burst into a bedroom and just as a guy comes

I shoot his wife in the head. Like this dude's fucking my wife, I shoot her and then all of a sudden I'm down for two. I didn't even get to shoot. No, I'm not belching it out. Oh, no, no. I got a dozen counts. So you got to see your sale. I got a white marginally deter Eli from future crime. Okay.

Good. I got glad to know we're doing. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Eli, you never know if the lady you're shooting in the face is pregnant. So be careful. Also, I got to point out one little other element about the judge is that after he answers

this question and he gives the big double homicide, he turns around and walks out as they shout more questions to it. Yeah, you always leave on a high note, right? Yeah, that's it. At least, don't leave. We still have questions. All right, that's all for me. The red light just came on.

Thank you. Weird. And then, of course, as he walks out, not guilty lady finishes the point she was making mit ellipsis, right? She's just like, and before he comes in, she's like, so therefore walks out, not guilty lady finishes the point she was making mellipses, right? She's just like, and before he comes in, she's like, so therefore by science, I would be correct. As I was saying before he entered and made my point for me, yeah.

She's making that the bright line point again, like it's impossible to say whether it's a, you know, a baby or not at that exact moment. It's impossible to say whether a single kidnapping or a double kidnapping happened. How do you draw that line? You should all be pro life. Like the fuck? Um, but now it's time for, for crazy hot juror to be convinced by kind of a delvedo eating eggs. Right. The, the, the blonde that's just been sitting there not saying anything. Who's by the way, I checked her IMDB almost everything else is like, you know, bikini, clad, cave girls or something like that. So, you know, there's she's got some good work in her past as well.

I'll do some research after this movie. Yeah, I bet you will. But she's changing her vote. She's so convinced. And she also repeats the argument that Ken Davic, she was the same red line argument, but in a far more convoluted of a way. So now they have to vote again, which means the four men has to do more counting. And it's just getting worse for him. He's like, wow, that one's seven, 12 from second. That's got a two. I got a pair of some. All right.

And that's 19. But then I take them both away. That's back down to 12. We are. Well, but guilty. Great. Good trial, everybody. Okay. So now it's six to six. And juror three would like to present his argument in favor of guilty via a clip of the last movie. This is, I think, the biggest like bullshit reason to use the clip because obviously the reason they wanted to use this clip is because this is the clip with Robert Lozia, right? And that's an actor you might recognize. So they want to make sure that they double down on the Lozia here.

So his argument is, no, of course it was a kidnapping. Listen to Robert Lozier explain what a kidnapping is in my new detail. And not just explain. I mean, Lozier comes out at again, I didn't see the life zone. So I only knew this because you made fun of the of this exact scene on the last episode on the life zone episode of game. But but Lozier basically comes out and allocates us to each and every element of Kit Dappin. He's like, I am today to you against your will. You might ask this, but consider me your jailer. I mean, it is literally like a confession written by the prosecutor that he signed and agreed to deliver. It's amazing. Yes. Also, he's got small thing again, we mentioned it last time too.

He's got the same, the weird objects on his desk, including like a little treasure chest. Like I feel like, I feel like Robert Lozzy just carries these things around in real life. And I was like, Hey, can you put down your tiny little treasure chest just for like this one? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no This point, there's business meeting guy. And business meeting guy obviously has to go sell someone a lot of carpet because he has spent the entire movie going, oh man, I had planned my business meeting 35 seconds after the trial ended. Why is this deliberation not over?

And at this point, one of the people says something, I honestly don't remember what, but he says something like, yeah, maybe I'll decide not to go. That's a double on Tundra. No, it's not. No, it's where she says, he says, she says, what's your business meeting about? He says, it's none of your business. See, that was a double on Tundra because it was a business meeting and it's none of your

business. No, not what that means. I was just thinking of the like future robber like, that's not irony. That's just me. Yeah. So yeah, then we got, we, so we come out of the Robert Lozia clip and then the black comic relief lady has to present the argument from, but it was a super nice kidnapping. Yeah. Right where they're like, well, they didn't hurt him in that, that seemed like a pretty nice place. Yeah. It's such a weird argument. She's like, yeah, did you see how nice the accommodations were for stays? That's clearly not hell like me.

I masturbate while weeping uncontrollably every night in my shitty apartment because I'm lonely. Please kidnap me. Yeah, maybe I'll get an abortion. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. But let's not have slightly over the fact that there are only two African Americans in this movie.

And the writer puts in the black ladies mouth the words, oh, please, they were well fed clothes. She got non-consensual medical care. Like they only had to ask one like to do permission to speak. I mean, I didn't face it. She's in darkness. His entire art. Come on, plenty of tossing. She was great. All right. Yes, we're not just going back to relitigate Roe v Wade Yes, we're not just going back to relitigate Roe V Wade. We're going all the way back to

Lincoln Douglas for this one. Wow. I don't know. I thought it was cool that Candace Owens showed up in a movie, but that's just, I guess this is me. So now I, of course, this is where I'm thinking, wait a minute. The closet in my guest room is definitely nicer than wherever the fuck KELD Ken Del Vecchio is saying, I have his permission to kidnap him, right?

Yeah, as long as I give him a better place to stay if you have more money slide eggs under the door Absolutely Or if you're happier you can just kidnaps anybody if you're happier than them. Yeah The kidnap the shit out of you. I any body if you're happier than them. Yeah. The kidnap the shit out of Eli. And of course, this is where Nogildi lady repeats the only argument she has, which is, but if they hadn't kidnapped her, we'd have two dead babies.

Right. So, the next logical step is to see those babies. A life. I wanted one person to be like, all right, well, now I want to see a world where they're dead where like she can go on nice vacation. We need a cap of air instructor and make 20% more money. It's a really strange version of it's a wonderful life. Yeah.

So yeah, now we're going to see the video of, no, okay. So at the very least they didn't put these two kids on the stand. That's what I thought we were going to see, right? I thought we were going to see video of these two kids sitting in a courtroom. But no, this is some kind of, they're calling it a deposition, but it's these two kids being asked if they want to meet their real daddy. Now they're twins. So, of course, they give one testimony. Twins are allowed to meet their real daddy. Now, their twins. So, of course,

they give one testimony. Twins are allowed to give the one testimony. That's a little note piece of Xan versus Jaina. And fun fact, did you know that sometimes twins come out different races? It's foster twins, pretty sure it's foster twins. Pretty sure it's foster twins foster tap twins. Yeah. It's cool. Yeah, very clearly here. These kids, maybe they do have the same dad, Kendall Vecchio. One of his Kendall Vecchio's kid, the boy. Oh, is he and the other one very clearly is not because she's from like best Latina friend. Yeah, exactly.

But also I want to point out that the actual video we watch here is the kids go and like, I like to play with cars. Do you like to play with cars? I have a toy car too. All right. That's it. It's so that is fucking creepy. It's so like, hello, seven year old kids.

We have some questions for you about Seaman for this damn position. And the kid, this seven year old kid, he's like, yeah, great. Now I have lots of thoughts about the philosophy of come, but can we talk about cars first? I feel more comfortable with these easy to warm up by talking about cars. And I just love Noah's notes here, which is just what the fuck did we just watch? Like seriously, where am I right now? So now, not guilty lady, coming out of the video of the children

is gonna have a violin-backed monologue about all the dead or unborn babies that never get at a judge's house. And again, right, outsider for the benefit of the audience, like that's not just no of being funny. Like there's literally a violin playing loudly. There is. Real jump her bones.

It's amazing. And then, okay, so she finishes the Ruseville quiet for a while. I was wanting the black lady to fart. That would have been hilarious. But no, then the why tie guy, the guy who's been the most like they did their guilty, he takes a picture of his son out of his wallet, like a 13 year old kid. And his son also didn't get aborted. And he's real happy that his kids alive, but he's still not quite convinced. I want a businessman guy to pull out like a series of new to the ass from his 19 year old girlfriend And be like oh no, I just said my ring what it's like not to have kids

That's cool though. You got a school picture of him there I bet he yells at you sometimes I thought he's gonna be like yeah, so there's my kid shot up a school There's the other side of the coin for you should have had an abortion. So, and now there's another lady who also is going to change her vote to not guilty because the kids are cute and she says and I quote, their little lives, they don't have they have little because their kids are more important than the law.

Yeah. And so again, as we pointed out, this is a Christian apologetics movie. So none of the adults in it have names, right? She's just journaled number, whatever. I've got her in my notes. Grandma. But grandma changes her votes and then says, I feel awful. And then the reasonable old guy who holds out as guilty till nearly the end says why and and grandma says because I voted not guilty before, right? She means to say because I voted guilty before, but no, well, two options, either know what

in the film notice this or this is like a Calculon does one take moment. Like, I was going to not guilty. Not guilty. Who's going to know? Right. What's the difference? I really wish they'd done a Bible man style ADR. No, the Williams runs in front of her guilty.

Also, I feel like any time a juror has a sentence that's formulated as X is more important than the law. I feel like we get rid of that juror. If we don't, I feel like we should. I feel like that should be a rule. Yeah, I literally just got the pink letter for jury duty again. And this movie is basically a list of things I can say so that they would get me from that room via catapult. Like, like, I mean, I feel like just when you walk in, they should be lists of things that are more important than the law. All right, everyone who wrote stuff is out. You're gone.

You have to go now. All right, so now the judge. Pokes out from between the books on the shelf or something and says, here's some charts about what babies look like when they're not born yet and then leaves oh wait no wait he doesn't leave um... because the eastern european lady has to go like uh... oh by the way why the fuck would you have admitted the video of the kids into this trial and he goes ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm wacky. I'm wacky like that. And then this is where not guilty lady has to throw in her like Colombo moment as he's walking away.

She's like one more question. Imagine she's got this ridiculous fucking what she goes, imagine if I smashed a baby to death inside its mom's moon with a baseball bet covered in shards of glass tipped with poison extracted from Harpoon baby seals with landmines. That's, that's not a question. Yes, but I imagine if I did, there's this crazy moat. She goes, if someone's trying to kill a pregnant woman and Dave, who's in a wheelchair, shoots her to stop her from honoring her and he's like, wait, why is Dave in a wheelchair? And she goes like,

I don't know, right? Like a wheelchair. Everybody's like, every lecture, the hero. They're there. There's a lot of all I'm saying is that these, this is what the questions on Thomas takes the bar would sound like if I'm the American judicial system had any balls, it would be shit like this.

You should totally do that. Andrew, because you know, Thomas doesn't listen to this shit. Next time you do Thomas takes the bar, you should ask him that question. It and pretend like try to pull it off like that's really the question on the bar All right, if Dave is beating a woman in death with a baseball bat when Mike it was in a wheelchair You know that's it he'll be like, oh, okay, so that's a distract right? I get it. I get it. Okay, hold on. Well, you're you're actually not allowed to ask a person a wheelchair Why they're about to shoot somebody.

That's the rule. It's D. And also, this is the, so she asked the judge that question and he's like, huh, I could answer that now, but it would be more suspenseful if I waited. So he leaves. Yeah. The next time Judge Sticky here comes back in, he's going to have watermelons in a sledgehammer like I really wanted some more scenarios there. Like wait, like they should have gone into way more questions like, okay, Nancy Carrigan

has a fetus in her knee, honey, hearting, fires the guy to kill it with a baseball bat. But then, okay, wait for it, wait for it. A lesbian. I just going to shoot a, a Samoan lesbian is going to shoot a poison neck dart at Tanya Harding. What do we do now? On her wedding day. That's not that a trolley. And this is where they make the pros and cons list, right? Yeah, yeah, red headed lady wants them to each write down all of the arguments in favor of acquittal and all the arguments in favor of guilty vote there. I wanted so badly for lawyer lady or lawyer guy to just walk up and write the word kidnapping

and then underline it and be like, there. I just thought this was amazing because she's like, I want you to write down on that white board, all the arguments and favor of a quiddly. And I'm like, Eli just carries around a white board like that. It just has one, and if they're ready. But yeah, the question is basically, can you recap the movie up to this point? So they, so they have Eastern European lady go in there and she writes down all of the various arguments in favor of the kidnapping, which apparently include like all the other

crimes they did to, right? Like those are the points she's writing down, not like evidence that the kidnapper because fucking duh, but it's also, yeah, also they tortured her and shit. They were forced, she was forced to give birth, there were, and this is again, direct line from the movie, many non-consensual medical examinations,

like pro-tip, pro-life filmmaker, maybe you wanna X-Nay on the non-consensual medical examinations, that's her, my knowledge. Why? Margaret Sanger could do it, see this is the day that Iksnay on the non-consensual medical examinations. That's terminal. Why Margaret Sanger could do it? See, this is the day you people, whoo, prepare to love her so much. But then when we start doing unnecessary

forced medical experiments, you're just like, eh, but yeah. But if people don't have to be Democrats, Andrew, you can't make them, unless you think being a Democrat would make them commit a crime in which case you can, but I will rape you. Heath, will you kidnap me? All right, for me, please. All right, with the kidnapping as defined by law, common use and Webster's defense firmly in

place, we're going to pause for a quick break here. Love the suspense build before they write out that. I was, but first I got to give act three the hard sell. Is there really anything wrong with kidnapping a woman and doing forced medical procedures on her? Okay, but what if it's just a little bit? Okay, but what if you don't really mean it that much? Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the somehow yet crazy

or conclusion of cries of the unborn. Hi, I'm here for the movie screening. Oh, hello, Heath. You mean the movie about the jury that turns out there in hell watching the movie about the girls who turn out to be in hell. Yeah, yeah, it's weird. Yeah, but that's what I'm here for. Come on in Heath. You're our only patron tonight and there's just one showing. The only patron and you're only showing one movie just once.

showing one movie just just once. Yes, I'm the theater owner. You can call me say say 10. So Satan. Is that what you're saying? I mean, what? What? What did you say? Something your name is clearly Satan.

No, no, it's say 10. It's a Polish and the movie is about to be question. Am I in hell right now? Is that what's happening? No, you're in a movie theater. A movie theater that only shows one movie and I'm the only guy watching it. Yeah, it's like shape of water. People.

Okay. Yeah. I'm in hell. Got it. Maybe you should just watch the movie and watch the movie about people in hell watching a movie about people in hell. Is that you're suggesting? Yes. I promise the ending is shocking. Is the ending that I'm in hell? No. Okay. This was fun. Okay, at least have some popcorn. Is that weird?

Is this the hell thing or is that just popcorn? I don't understand. It's a hell thing. Okay, I'm gonna go. Damn it. It's Mikey. You just say it regular. Just say, up, up, corn.

And we're back for more of this shit. When we last left our jurors, one lady had just written out all the kidnapping is illegal points on one whiteboard. And now it's time for not guilty lady to write down all the reasons why kidnapping is legal. She seems convinced that there are more than zero. Yeah. Uh, one of them is these are not ugly 70 year olds. Smoking hot. Seven year olds write that down sexually attractive. She doesn't know why for those kids are so cute. Like, what if they hadn't been He's, he's on the wife, those kids are so cute. Like, what if they hadn't been?

I mean, to be fair, he then I saw a man cat call a child the other day, a little day home. So it matters. And so I'm setting. He made our cat calling worse. And the kid was ugly too. Like, it was really weird. He's got jealous. It was weird. We had a fair different reaction to the man cat calling a child. All right. So they go through repeating all their various arguments up to this point. And I love because we were seeing like the whiteboard behind her and like one of the first things she's written is twins would be and then in giant letters dead. That's one of the points that twins would be dead.

And then of course right below that is the no doctor, no scientist, no educator, no one can define when life begins. Except me, obviously otherwise this point doesn't work for me. Yeah, I love the two whiteboards for a couple of reasons. So first is if if you're watching this yet again, this movie has no continuity editor, right? So both times you have someone actually writing on the board and then it changes to different handwriting, different words, different color ink up there. It's it's it's pretty impressive. And and the other thing is, right, they've, they've outlined the seven or eight arguments for why kidnapping is kidnapping and also why there was, you know, torture

and intentional inflection of emotional distress. I really like a lot of different problems. And then, so on the other whiteboard, they have to make the same argument and phrase it, you know, like, different ways. Seven times. They have enough numbers. Yes. The babies would be dead. The babies would not be alive. The babies would not exist. Yeah, right.

And it's time. There we go. Even square. County. Stop trying to push the baby back inside. It's. Also, this is where wide tie guy who keeps looking at the picture of his son makes the vegetarian point. Right where he's like, Hey, I'm a vegetarian, but

I don't like kidnapped people to prevent them from eating hamburgers, which I don't know why he doesn't. You need to stop the crunch madness, but we'll move on from that. And the response is literally just, um, no. But then, but then the foreman cuts in and he's like, well, but I'm an NRA member and I wouldn't kidnap people because they don't like guns. And then the audience is like, okay, now I get it. I didn't get it when you said vegetarian, but when you said NRA member, he wouldn't kidnap an anti gun nut. Yeah, we don't have those.

He shows up in an office and he's taken away everyone's guns. They're just like, Oh God, he's got our guns. He's got our guns. Oh, it's the best. He's like, okay, well, vegetarian gross, but I have a better example. I'm an NRA member and I don't kidnap people

who try to take away my justified homicide machine. Wait, fuck, somebody else go. Somebody else go. I don't kidnap people who tried to take away my justified homicide machine Somebody else go somebody else wait if someone took away my guns because I was gonna commit a crime with You gonna commit the crime It's just giant reservoir dogs ending right there. Yeah, right. rape and gunshots. And also, okay, just in case this movie hasn't gotten fucked up crazy enough for you, someone goes, well, what about in cases of rape and incest and not guilty?

He's like, yeah, those bitches deserve to have babies too. I this is this is the perfect illustration of the, this is your movie. Yes. These, these, these fetuses were not the product of life. I've, I've, I've, I've rape or incest. So you don't have to defend that, but, you know, I'm not going to be lady. Totally. But they, they chose to.

And they're like moms fall. Why? Why is she teasing her brother? She was being teased like, look out the triggers. And then next done got it. Well, it's a legitimate rape. Yeah. Oh, God.

Yes. Yes. Right thing just about going there. Also, I love it. At this point, somebody turns to not guilty lady and he goes, are you a, wait a minute, wait a second. Are you a religious nut? And she goes, well, I don't know what you mean by religious nut, but I'm like, yeah, no,

that's a yes. That's it. You don't know that. I don't know what you mean by that, but yeah. Also, I wanted him so badly to be like, oh, the morality of the Bible. Okay. The kids were canonites. Can we get rid of it now?

And smash that shit on the rocks. Let's get the fuck out of here. Get you to your business meeting, man. Yeah. Well, right. Because now they have to argue about what the Bible says about abortions like juries do. You know, as a matter of fact, they even call the judge and they're like, can we get a Bible in here?

They actually have a whole moment there where it's like, you know, well, what kind of Bible I don't know. KJV, I guess. I wanted her to keep going into the discrepancies. Like, he's like, what about the, just the King James Bible? And she's like, well, which version are there multiple versions? Yeah, no, there's over 200 versions. And that's not counting corrections and omissions made later by publishers that have nothing

to do with. Okay, you know what? Just bring me the book. Stop. Just you know what I mean? I'm pretend the now Bible. All right. Did you want that new original Greek? No, I want it. How about Aramate? No, just give it. He brood. No, just give me the one that they translated in like

the 80s original. I wanted in the original English with the pictures. original. I wanted in the original English with the pictures. And then because again, nobody in this way, like people have occasionally associated with this movie. I have occasionally talked to actual pro choice people. So they have baby Mark Cuban over in the corner go, oh, yeah, you're going to bring the Bible in here. Can we also get the farmers all men at can we also get a copy of the sports illustrated swimsuit do, but, but they don't know enough to have him say can we also get the Quran, the book of Mormon, the Bhagavad Gita? Like, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, we got nothing for that, right? They like voluntarily bring up rape and incest and go like, yeah, no, the baby should with a little flipper arms, like flipper arms are fine in the incest babies, or you have against flipper arms, but they can't bring up these, yeah, there are other religions.

Or even be the foreman. All right. And also, we should point out that the angry men are angry, right? Like over and over again in this, they almost go to blows, which is amazing because none of these actors seem to even know what you would do with a fist if you started a fight, right? Like the ball of their fist and then hold it in a way that has nothing to do with punching. He was definitely hoisting at a imaginary flag.

It was so great. It's like that, dude. The angle of the wrist isn't even right here But then the judge shows up with a bible You guys wanted a bible again just pops out of a fucking trash can drops out of a future Rama toper something He's in the room with him and he's like I brought you a bible They start asking him more legal questions. He's being super coy, you know Oh, will I answer your question?

Maybe I will. Maybe I won't and smoke bomb. I'm just getting on the thing. Yeah, I have a judge America. What a country pops back in to diverse latest routine about how he's got to catch a flight, but it's going to stop off at the Empire State Building just before he gets fired as the voice of the Aflac duck place. Oh, God. Just, just, just, uh, yeah.

So we bring some of Bible. Good. Now they have all the, if we have pictures of dead fetuses and the Bible, this should, this should help out in the kidnapping case. Oh, by the way, also the, the, it's still a little chilly in this room. They still haven't fixed that right and They're going through the Bible for like the verses that say abortion is bad and they get nowhere close to abortion is bad No, all right, so God created humans and to eat animals

Be fruitful multiply even if you get raped, that's implied. That's implied. I honestly based on her citations, God gave you control to rape animals. I don't know what for all of you. Well, but that's the thing they've created their own ridiculous standard and they failed, right? They're changing the rules. They're making them up as they go. And the other team didn't show up and they're still losing. Jesus. Yeah, because she's like, uh, you know, like, what about this one? They're like, no, that doesn't, that doesn't actually say what you say at all. And she's like, well, but that's where faith comes in. What? You got to believe that's what these words are.

Yes. That's actually your art human. She goes, uh, well, what about Psalms 22 10? I was cast upon the from the woman. I'm like, Oh, well, if we're doing Psalms, uh, you know, about casting and babies, can I counter with 137, nine? Cause that's some, yeah, some late term abortion right there. And God seemed okay with it.

I geeked it. Oh, oh, oh, it. Oh, how about like can we do numbers five? Right. That's where the test for adult three where the priest gives you the poison potion to kill the fetus. Make sure you have a good one. Exodus 21 where there's the lesser punishment if a criminal strikes a pregnant woman and only the fetus dies versus like this is silly and reasoning with plan B.

All right. And of course, this is also where not guilty lady says and I quote following the laws of God is the most important thing. Again, like there should be a fucking trap door that like throws her to a rank or in every jewelry room if she says something like that. Well, I wanted so badly for the guy who agrees with her to be like, Hey, thanks for teaching us that. Oh, Timothy and then just starts punching her in the head.

I'm sorry. I learned the thing you taught me, but you're not, but it's fun. This book is not about you instructing me. I know. Stop struggling. Come on. I gave your dad some shackles. It's over. I'm come on. I'm good for the shackles. Also, she says at this point, they're like, well, not all of us share your religion. And she says,

I love this fucking line. She says, well, for those of you who don't believe in God yet, what is it? So like, yeah, you know, just a little passive regressive bullshit, but then she goes what is America's law based on and Everyone in you to send 11 voices go the 10 commandments What Know the fuck they aren't Like eight of the 10 commandments. We don't even have laws against that shit And there's like 14 of them. Yeah.

I'm clear stupid. I you you don't need me to agree. I this is where first year last week comes off the rails. But yeah, Andrew name a law that's not based on the 10 comments. And kidnapping doesn't count because that's not really illegal. Yeah, exactly. Two slow. Two slow.

What about no such thing as laws? So also the she has this bit. I'm the weirdest superhero ever. So also she's got this great bit where she goes, well, I think everyone agrees on what thou shalt not kill means. And I say it includes abortion. And I'm like, okay, but then the first part is wrong where everyone agrees on it. You self-check made it again.

Jesus, okay. So now the judge climbs out from under the table and he's like, oh, maintenance staff went home. I'm going to start fixing your thermostat. Now I the judge, I'm gonna stand in this room while you deliberate and fix the thermostat i'm the devil what what what they think a judge does i mean again this was written by a judge what does he think his job is how many times the judge delveque tried to pop into the jury room

with like a box of donuts and his secretary had to be like, no, never, they truly never, you'll never allow to do that. All of a sudden, he said, Mario, I'm just gonna fix the plumbing in the room. No, no. Oh, Jesus Christ. Also, there's one character who I've got down as reasonable old guy, right? He's supposed to be the guy that's not quite convinced, but we're still supposed to be

sympathetic. He's not a vegetarian or anything. And he says, well, what about all of the mental torture and shit that they have? What about this clip from the movie? And then he plays that perfume commercial anti-abortion propaganda clip where everybody's going, kill the baby. The time Joe Vecchio found everyone he knew who spoke before in language, three people. I didn't say kill the baby in that language and called it a horror movie. I just clip again, that your description from the previous episode does not do justice

to how great like a bought the little baby. And this was like half live action, hot rod, and half-chlorous leechment from history of the world. Oh my God. This hit me the previous 70 minutes worth it. It was so good. It's the best. Rosetta Stone got in big trouble for this part of the video. It's also the worst Pepsi commercial ever. Kylie Jenner walks up to a cop outside of Planned Parenthood. Handsome

of fetus. It's cool. Well, Michael Jackson would disagree, but yeah, yeah, I agree with you. Also, okay, so then this ends with the Stacy, the girl that they kidnapped waking up, and they only put this in here. So I can have her doing the waking up into a sitting position scene at the end of this, which means that this was her nightmare. The jury is watching video of her nightmare. Man, these new cameras, they, they're, what? So, yeah, and then, and also, if you haven't listened to GAB,

you're like, why is Stacy massive head wound hairy, all of a sudden? I can't believe he never reprised that bit. That was such a, there was so much promise for massive head wound hairy. You know, okay. So apparently that's all of that clip we needed to see. We needed to see just enough to see the sitting straight up waking up thing to piss me off. And then not guilty ladies like, okay, all right. Well, you may not agree with their tactics, but it I'm like, no, I'm finding them guilty of their tactics. Her point after that clip was you don't have to

like the way that they do it, but they're the best damn cop on the floor. Hey, can we get a copy of the prints in here real quick? Machiavelli, that'd be great. Read that to everybody now too. All right. So are you guys ready for a hard left? Anybody want to make a hard left turn right now? Oh, yeah.

Would anyone like a divorce dad to rant at him for 36 minutes? You're just trying to have an afterwork beer. This is so many of me and heath shifts. Just some guy who puts like a $5 bill out there and he's like, here's the thing, man. I love my kids. I love my kids. Do you have 45, 50 minutes?

Cause I'm gonna miss this thing. So nervous. So yeah, apparently we're now gonna watch the abortion dad's deposition video. Deposition video, by the way, means him monologuing to a string section. Yeah, this is, this is not a deposition. Okay, but normally who scores deposition videos? Is that the job of the person that loves him or on Zimmer does what he's not doing movies.

Sitting there and then as I walked into the alley. But also the video is the monologue he's giving is amazing. The dad of Stacy's not quite aborted twins begged her not to murder his baby, but her blood was just couldn't be associated. You see, this was a revenge abortion.

It was for spite. Yes, the spite abortion because he was gonna leave her. Yes. Yeah, that's what a claim he makes is. I was gonna leave her for another woman, so she decided to have an abortion and kill my babies as revenge. Wait, which she didn't even have to do because if he was gonna leave her for another woman, she could have just kidnapped him.

She's the whole step. And could have forcibly extracted his com. Otherwise, he might have jerked off with that. And yeah, exactly. No, I get it. I get it. Um, yeah, and like, so and this is a long bit, right? Like it has nothing to do with anything else in the movie.

And it is very clearly just some guy who's not allowed to see his kids anymore getting emotional about it. Yeah. Yeah. You can't imagine what's the rent about his kid. You can't imagine the kid to match you. That's why you put one in the movie. Can't imagine. Yeah. If you follow Eli on Twitter, you have seen this video before. All right.

But okay. So then one lady goes, hey, these clips are not in any way relevant. They're like, yeah, let's let watch more of them. So then we watch more videos of abortion dad never getting to meet his aborted babies. And he explains how Stacey's kidnapping and forced birth was very inconvenient for him. denied him the chance to raise his children. So now he wants to take those seven year old children back from their parents. Yeah, that have raised them since birth. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And apparently he had to prove it at some point.

He was like, yeah, so they took my kids because of there's a law about kidnap or sympathy. So you're allowed to just take these kids. But then I tried to get them back and I took a paternity test, but it was too late. Yeah, what Andrew question? How quickly does the clock run out on fatherhood? And he's there statue. He needs to know this for a lot of reasons. Okay, so Thomas does too.

Jesus Christ. So ignore that one. Let's talk about this deposition. There are a couple things you need to know here. Number one, there aren't depositions in criminal cases. I'm sorry. No, that was like that. There's really no need for it.

All right, but if there is a deposition, is it just a guy saying the things that occurred to him that are unrelated to the crime usually or the case rather? And that how a deposition works, it's just you get to say whatever you want for you for usually in a civil case, a witness is represented by a lawyer. And then the opposing sides lawyer asks you questions. And there's a court reporter in there, you know, stenographically taking names and playing the violin when, you know, and then in this case, because it was twins, the judge would start cutting each twin in half, right?

And they're like, are you each get half of each twin? It's actually judge Solomon. We actually have to point that out though too, because like during his little monologue, he says, but Stacy insisted that the twins get split up because fuck those kids. That's because Stacy is so evil, she just wanted to make sure that they didn't get

to have sibling and burn their faces. Now the only thing my kids can do is be on a jury. Now the only thing my kids can do is be on a jury. So and apparently by the way, that clip was enough to get red headed lady to change her vote. She says she's voting not guilty. Quote so that that father can have some kind of justice. What kind of justice would that be? Question. Do they think that if these kidnappers are found innocent, this dad gets these two seven year old children that he

did not race? I know. Like the justice, the serious justice that this movie wants you to cheer and pump your fist about is, ha ha, the people who kidnapped and tortured my bitch of an ex-wife get to go free. Like, that's not a joke. Yeah. That's what the movie wants you to sympathize with. And go, you know, at least, at least as an ex-wife got to get tortured out of it. It's disgusting.

Yes. And now, business man guy is like, um, I switched to not guilty because I would like the movie to be over. I'm just a little bit of moved whiplash there. That's literally what happens to my way. It's like, it's now it's nine to three the other way and businessmen's like, fuck it, man, I'm never gonna, I don't care, I just don't care, not guilty, whatever.

And then another guy, juror number two has to come up and he's like, well, hey, motherfucker, you can't just change your vote now without going through a monologue. I went through a monologue when I changed my vote. I don't know exactly what he's pissed about, but yeah, to which business man responds, don't be bitter, kiddie, bitter.

Yes. Ha, ha, ha, ha the movie for me, right? Because before he does the don't be better, Kitele, which is clearly the line of the movie. He said what he's asked, like, well, why did you change your mind? He looks at the angry journalist, like, well, you know, I just thought deeply about my kids not being born and it turned me into a whoosh. And that's where he lives. He lifts his fist like he's got a little champagne glass in it and he wants to make the toast there.

Something. It is the the Metacombitary, the movie. Go ahead. All right. Look, like we know these people can't be persuaded by these terrible arguments. So, you know, here you go. Yeah. So he wants to get the fuck out of there. They're all going to fight Eastern European lady, though, is still not convinced. She thinks that they should not make the law up as they go. And she says, what you're engaging in here is jury nullification.

Now, I've only ever heard those two words put together by insane people. I'm dying to know, Andrew, do not insane people also use that term, not usually, but, but this is in fact, jury nullification. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I was just curious if that was an actual legal term or just something that wackos on Facebook talk about. And what I learned from Andrew's show is that if you're going to nullify a jury, you have to make sure that everyone gets their story straight. So they don't do the weird survey afterwards and call them guilty anyways. All right. You make a little plan. Good. That's what Andrew. That's what he wanted to teach me. What do you want to teach me? Also, this is where I get what I, where we got what I think

should be the tagline of the movie. Because she's going like, well, what if you're a woman who got pregnant and you're trying to finish your education and you're getting your career straight and you don't have the money to take care of a baby right now and blah, blah, blah, blah, right? Making sort of the, you know, actual argument as to why abortion should be legal. And not guilty, lady says, and I quote, if you get pregnant, you have to deal with it. That, that to me should be on the poster for this fucking movie, right? Yeah, oh, see I want on the poster of the movie. I'm in favor of women's and men's rights. All our lives, man, nope, never.

Babies, white, big. Nope, it's not. One more time, we must protect the future. A jerk, a white, no, that's the 14th. It's crazy how often that comes up. must protect the future. A drag life bait. No, that's the 14th. It's crazy how often that comes up. I abortions are the final solution in title meant reform. Black people don't have to be Republicans.

I don't know what come back to me. Come back. How do you prevent anchor babies? You kill them. No. All right. And so now the judge materializes in front of them to answer that last question about the unborn baby with the crippled guy shooting the baseball bat lady. And he has

to restate the question because it's been so goddamn long since they asked it. Everyone has forgotten what the fuck this is all about. And he delivers this line like he's playing, I'm going on a picnic, right? He's like, yeah, Sarah's trying to hit her in the stomach with the baseball bat. And then Michael, who was in a wheelchair and everyone's like, I remember that wheelchair fight. That was hilarious. Can you see the fox and the grain are in the boat together? Oh, the fetus, the fox, and the grain. Well, it should be the atheist, the fetus, and the grain, but yeah. Yeah.

And they're being so careful with the language here because killing abortion doctor is what they're saying, but they need to not say killing abortion doctor. Yes. It's like me and Andrew on the million dollar pyramid, right? It's like the Christian Andrew on the million dollar pyramid, right? The Christiana brothers, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nothing about this. Laped a girl. No, none of it. I passed. I was like, go home, murder. And this is when Eastern European lady has her epiphany and realizes that it was

a justified use of force the whole time. Yeah. Now I actually researched a little bit about Eastern European lady who was a like really famous Iranian child actress who was part of like the liberalization of the country. And my thesis here is like that everything up into the movie to this point is what she honestly believes. And then they convinced her because English is not her native language that she was just like having some kind of demon possession here and had to recant because it makes no sense. She just turns around and starts screaming, you're right, you're right, you've always been

right. I'm totally wrong. It's crazy. It's insane. And lawyer guy, like it's like they were running out of film because lawyer guy's like, no, no, she's not right. I'll kill all the babies. I was in this movie was about all along. Yeah, fucking what?

It, so then everyone except for lawyer guy and Eastern European lady start disappearing in smoke clouds. You see, because the judge was God this whole time. The fucking not guilty lady was Jesus this whole time. And the businessman aborted his son and Eastern European lady is the doctor who performed the abortion. Now I want to point out, businessman who aborted his son, the lawyer guy, has a picture of a 14 year old boy in his wallet. Okay, Judgy. I was cat calling and it went well. I was going to raise a scooter. Oh, oh, I have a lot of questions about this scene.

Yeah, I bet you didn't. I'm with isn't the man again, I've only watched clip shows from, you know, the life from the life zone. But like wasn't the whole message of the life zone that, right? Like there's the point where nurse ratchet tells Stockholm syndrome girl, like, you know, that, that, that thanks for the support. But like, it was your responsibility. You're the one who, who aborted your baby, right? Like, I can't blame it on your boyfriend having pressured you. So how could lawyer guy be responsible for aborting the bad? I, it make no sense. Right. Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely. Again, by their own ridiculous made up as they went standards, they still fail over and over again in this movie. And the plot twist of this movie was no, no, no, they're not in hell. Yes, they were. And so were you. Honestly, if I turn in Kendall Vecchio was sitting next to me and he was like, and you're in hell. I would have been like, no, no, can I not, can you, you need to leave my home.

I ate your eggs. I don't have eggs in my house. What you eat, marbles, you want to go to the hospital? I want to go to the hospital. Okay. Okay. Let's go to the hospital. You, let's go to the hospital. You would judge, huh?

Yeah, I was concerned. That's terrifying. We're just in New Jersey, just in New Jersey though. Oh, okay. That explains a lot, actually. Yeah, so we get all this series of reveals turns out that they weren't held the whole time. Eastern European abortion doctor, lady, she changed her mind at the last minute, so she doesn't have to go

to hell, but the lawyer guy, absolutely, the vegetarian guy absolutely has to go to hell because fuck vegetarians. That's the end of this film. But actually, honestly, the credits were almost as entertaining as the rest of the movie. I love the credits. Half the supporting crew signed up with fake names like Calamity Game and Alice Knock Worst and Candy Marmadoos. It was so great. Let me clarify part of the reason why that's there, not just because this movie is bonkers, but because the other half of Del Vachio's movies are goers slash porn. So the reason why he got candy

not works for the second time is they also made spree killers together where a judge kills and rapes a bunch of people. Yeah. And then of course, the very last words right before the any resemblance to any living, any person living or dead bit, the last thing it says before that, the credits is this movie is dedicated to all the human being souls in heaven who were wrongfully denied the opportunity of life because of abortions. Human being souls. This is not for aborted cats. He doesn't need making no fucking movie for aborted weasels and tarnic rods goddammit aborted human being souls. And also by the way, if they go straight to heaven, then what better favor could you

fucking do? Right? For an unborn child than to centimastry Daven. I feel like that's a good thing. Their fucking shit doesn't make any sense. Okay. So to finish off tonight, I want you to all imagine that you're in the universe of this movie and you know that this jury has your fate in their hands. So who do you kidnap and why is that okay? Oh, I'm definitely kidnapping Ken Delvecchio. Just to watch him like crack a smile. Start like clapping for me like, okay. I've been out. Got him at this, this is pretty funny.

You got me. You got me. This is a double on top. I agree with what has happened. That's not what double on top. Triple on top. No, no, no, no, Ken. I'm been, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no because I'm saving a marathon. I have another thing that has to do with Neil's gorsuch that saves America. No, you don't. You actually don't have any other things about Neil Gorsuch. Well, so I have zero votes on that. And I'm going to go with, it's okay to keep that Michael Bay because transformers the last night literally raped my child. All right, but you're making this. You and you and you guys are all making this sound

like a good actually. I kind of want to go to the world of this movie. All right. Well, Andrew, thanks so much for joining us and thanks for all the, all the work you do behind the scenes, keeping Eli from getting us transferred to a CIA black site and Yemen or something. Black sites don't have to be Democrat. All sites matter indeed. And if our listeners can't get enough of your melodious voice, Andrew, where can I go to

here? Well, thanks, thanks for having me on. It's, it's always fun. And you can find me at the opening arguments podcast. So just Google opening arguments. It's open arcs.com. Yeah, you'll find it. Yeah. I am. Well, of course, have it linked on the show notes as well. And while that does it for our review of cries of the unborn, that's not going to do for the episode just yet because we still need to keep doing this apparently. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. The beautiful truth. That's about curing cancer with diet, isn't it?

Curring cancer with fruit juice. This movie has killed almost as many people as Vax. All right, then. Are you sure you don't want to have me back on for that one just to just to be sure? Yeah, I was just saying, well, we might have to have you review that one anyway. All right. So with that to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 141 to one merciful close. What's the good of huge thanks to Andrew, Frank and out with us tonight.

And even the huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that help make the show go. If you like yourself among the ranks, you can make a per episode donation to patreon.com slash God awful. And thereby, you're gonna be able to access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help us to don't buy living as five store review on iTunes and by sharing the show and all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show,

be sure to check out our sibling shows, the skating a, the excitation needed and the skeptic crowd available on iTunes to turn where our votes, podcasts live. Barely made it through that one. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email Godoffalmovesatgmail.com, legal services for this podcast or provide it by the law office as a P-adverturetor. Say, I through that one. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email GodoffalmewiesaGmail.com,

legal services for this podcast, or provided by the law office as a P-Editor, say I know that guy. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slot and we were able to drafts on Mars. All of the music was written and performed by our audience, and our Morgan Clark, and was used with permission.

Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week. For you then, write Neil Ibosny, I'm Noel Ejens, promised to work hard to earn all the chunk next week. Until then, we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. The entire world, except for one guy, ended up pregnant, kidnapped, and with both their eyes poked. The Christiano brothers, who are intelligent, thoughtful, public figures, with wonderful senses of humor, definitely listened to artist claimers, understood that this and any other references made to them on this show were jokes that no person could possibly take seriously and

Definitely did not sue puzzling a thunderstorm LLC for defamation We suit you do it you fat bitches wink Yes, you me I know my lawyer Andrew doesn't can Del Vecchio is still allowed to walk among us. That's real. Andrew refused to confirm or deny whether or not he's the father of Thomas. He just cracks you up. You need to say it on the record.

Say you're not the best. I am not the father. So you don't know who the father is. Is that what you're saying? Is that what you're saying? Oh my God. I think it's a two-way-be-old fellow-mortem-err-d-test. Is that I know that her parentage is constantly smitten.

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