God Awful Movies - 142: The Beautiful Truth

Episode Date: May 8, 2018

This week, Natalie Newell joins us for a skeptical review of The Beautiful Truth, the story of a man losing his mind with a 1990s camcorder running the whole time. --- To check out Natalie's documentary, click here: http://www.sciencemomsdoc.com/ To check out the Parenthetical Science podcast, click here: https://www.parentheticalscience.com/ --- If you’d like to pick up a copy of our latest ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

The glutamate industry. Is that is there an industry? It's like a word and I'm a little bit of a guy. They're all the same. You think of like the last supper table with like Jesus and all that. There's big glutamate. There's big farm. There's bon santo at the head. Like it. Big floor. Yeah, big floor. Right.

Big root canal. Also, big Adam bomb is there. So big Hitler. Big Hitler. He's the one that everybody's paying attention. He's the one that everybody's paying attention. There's also little Hitler it's weird. Ha ha ha. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be my good friend Heath and right. Heath, welcome back. Thanks Noah. Uh, you know what's getting super boring?

What's that? Uh, putting coffee in my mouth. It's, I am bored with that. But don't worry. Got some great new ideas in this movie. We'll tell you all about some alternatives that don't come from this episode and sitting at 81 miles to my right is the spot where Eli usually sits. He's going to be unable to join us this week.

But don't worry. We have a guest, Massachusetts who's always talking about how much funnier she is than Eli. Anyway, 225 miles to my south, south, west is a guest massacres, Natalie Newell, Natalie directed the documentary, Science Moms, which is kind of the good universe version of the movie we watched this week. He's bizarre. Oh, this is right. She's also the co-host of the parenthetical science podcast. Natalie,

thanks for hanging out with us tonight. Thank you for having me in. Yeah. Mine is the good universe movie where we don't tell people to put coffee in strange places. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I get judgy about everything right away. This is where we it. This is where we go. We'll have our own opinions about what's good and what is it? Strangers in the brown eye of the behold are absolutely. All right. So tell us, Ethan, what? Because people are damn curious if they did a look at the title right? What will we be breaking down today?

Yeah. We watched the beautiful truth. It's the story of a kid in Alaska who gets homeschooled by his dad and his bio class is about gerson therapy, which is a diet that fixes every single disease in the universe. And you do that by eating non-GMO vegetables. They're genetically static somehow.

Also drinking infomercial juice once an hour. And of course, hydrophracking your colon with coffee. Coffee, enemas is a real thing. A quart of coffee. Like, this is not just a little bit of coffee. This is a quart of coffee in your life. Double espresso. No, yes.

Yes. Everybody knows the double espresso be reasonable, but this is a court of copy in your double espresso. No, yes. Yes. Everybody knows the double espresso be reasonable, but it's a court. Yes. We're getting the court. So go bigger, go home. All right. And Natalie, how bad was this movie? Oh, man.

OK, this movie is so bad that it made me long for the simpler times in my life. When I watched GMO, OMG, and thought, eh, it's kind of shitty that this dad is using his little kids to push his anti-science agenda. No, see, the director of our film, the narrator, whatever. He was like, hold my beer because I'm about to use my 15-year-old homeschooler in my straight to YouTube documentary about the cure for cancer. And it's like, if you liked Vax, but you wished it had more of, you know, the real deep truth about fluoride and you loved what the hell. But you thought it was missing the personal journey of a kid who's oddly obsessed with the burial process of obese people. You're gonna, you're gonna

fuck you love this movie. You will love this movie. There is a person, there is a person, there is a niche market out there. There is that person that's like, I want a 15 year old to talk about dead people dying and getting their baskets, but whatever I'm getting ahead of ourselves. Well, yeah, I mean, there were 31,000 views, 131 thumbs up. Somebody is this movie's market. Oh, that guy is slow clapping right now. Yeah. So goddamn excited. You're doing this. You got it, Natalie. You you found. Yeah. All right. So I wanted to

throw a quick thing out here about the sort of the what's the harm of this because since I watched this movie on YouTube the other day, that the Google ad sense shit that I get on like Skype and Facebook all that has been goddamn insane. Right? Like every ad now is for like organic bicycle tires and fucking and a lot of like cancer therapy shit. Right? Like, because Google thinks, oh, you must have cancer. You watched that movie. Boy, does that underscore the what's the harm perfectly? Right? You like a palette of bell peppers? Nope. Nope. Not like a palette of bell peppers. No, nope, not like a palette of bell peppers. No, you just want carrots because that's all you're going to juice for the rest of your

life. Yeah. That's it. All right, so like, and I'm glad he's that you brought this up because the movie takes way too long to get to the coffee in the Aspart. Like we're an hour plus into this movie before it reveals Ascafi. Yeah, yeah, they buried a little bit. Yeah, it's a slow burn to get to that point. It's a wild. It's a meandering journey in a slow

road. Yeah, slow roast. Yeah. Well, that's I'm glad you brought because that saves I had in my notes. Make sure we bring up coffee animals early because I don't want to squeeze all my coffee up the ass jokes into the last 20 minutes of the show. So from the beginning, this diet is veganism plus coffee animals. There'll be a lot of jokes about that. Buckle in everybody. Yeah. Is there anything you want to nominate this one for being the best

being the worst at? Yeah. I'm going to say best worst, trying to make mundane objects seem evil and scary. Yes. At one point, I'm just gonna give one quick example. At one point, they do a pop scare with a baby carrot. I'm, I will get there. That's all I'm gonna say. They try to pop scare us in the baby carrot. That's, you'll see. Oh, God. Natalie, any best worst? Yeah, so I'm going to go best worst advertisement for homeschooling. Oh, my God. So, I mean, not all homeschoolers, but this one for sure.

Yeah. Well, and look, I mean, I was homeschooled, okay, for much of my education, but your dad's not from Alaska and illiterate. Well, that helped. That helped. Either she's not. Yeah. But it's funny. I was talking with with Andrew Torres, who homeschools his son the other day. And we were just saying, like, hey, look, you know, I'd give it up in a heartbeat if it meant everyone else had two, two, right? Like if I could give, you know, like I got a better education

because I was homeschooled, I would give up my better education if it meant that like this kid got to go to actual science class. Right? Yeah. This kid needs science class. Need a science class. I don't know how old he is now, but he needed science class and some therapy probably too. Yeah, probably more than a little answer at all. Definitely some adder all too would have been great. It is not pay attention to his Yeah, probably more than a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a little bit or a everything's being covered up. We should, we should also point out right away that this movie just makes constant 90 degree turns into new crazy with no warning. So you're going to think from time to time that you accidentally fast forwarded in this episode. You haven't. No. That's just what this movie does. No, this movie is like a conspiracy theorist fever dream. It's just all over the place. Yeah. It can't keep itself straight. No, like, there are like moments where I'm writing in my notes, oh, now we're talking about

and by the time I get that done, we're talking about something different to get, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I didn't realize we were watching a dental woo movie, but we did for like, 20 minutes. There was definitely a time. Yeah. Okay. So, but one of the things that this movie does over and over again is present things that are like obvious refutations of their whole theory, whatever that theory happens

to be during that 10 minute segment of the movie and that and and and like act like that's proof of the cover up like no one will take him seriously proof of the cover up, you know, I've got that in my nose quite a bit. All right, so like I said, this movie takes a lot of sharp turns. We're going to need a quick break to get ourselves buckled in. But when we come back, we'll break down all the ass and I stream of consciousness that is the beautiful truth. And that's why I'm of the opinion that the health benefits from fluoridated municipal water supplies continue to justify the expenditure. Thank you, doctor, for your testimony.

The committee will now consider the testimony of Mr. Steve Crochial. Mr. Crochial, could you please state your qualifications for the record? Thank you, Madam Chairperson. You're welcome. Could you please state your qualifications? I kind of did. I'm pretty sure that would be just a pregnant pause. I see. So you have no expertise on this matter. Well, I read most of an article on the aliens

that built this finks. Okay, but you know this is a hearing about water fluoridation, right? Most of the time I know that, yes. Most of today, I've the rest of the time I think I've been kidnapped by trolls. Okay, but what do you have to add to today's proceedings? Um, aggressively misinformed scaremongering. Excellent.

We value that more than scientific consensus. I know, I know. I mean, did you hear about that GMO labeling bullshit we're doing? Right. It's so stupid. So what would you like us to do? Uh, oh, um, bad yoga mats from subway sandwiches, uh, remove mercury from the periodic table and make the leprechaun stop taking my newspaper.

Done. This governance is brought to you by skeptics who don't vote in the primaries. And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to start off this documentary with a kid turning pages each of which has one quote on it. I prefer books that just fill the whole page with words but that's me. It's not everybody. Yeah. You're weird like that. You know, yeah. One of the quotes was, uh, giant ellipsis, like seven ellipsis, followed by no diet ever has been shown to ever cure cancer, the American Cancer

Society. Now, I just wondered if that giant ellipsis had any context. No, no, it doesn't need any, but I'm still curious if it had any. That's the only thing the American Cancer Society has ever said about diet. And it has no context. There's no studies. Just, just take, take the word of this straight to YouTube film for it. Because yeah. Yeah. Do you think the giant ellipsis was him trying to like increase the word count? He's like three words shy. And he's like, let me add dots to all the ellipsis. Well, yeah, as a series of quotes there, that's not the only one. Yeah. Okay. One other one I just want to mention, the quote was, there have been many cures and all have been systematically suppressed with a Gestapo like Theronis by the cancer

establishment. That quote was from Robert Atkins, by the way, yes, that is the bacon is the guy. Yep. That's the guy. And but the movie, this is where 35 seconds in, they went full God win in 35 seconds. There's set records. They're they're aiming for something. They're like, we want to go God in as quickly as possible. And congratulations. And congratulations. And we'll keep doing that. Yes, they will.

Yep. And so there's this point though in, I mean, the first, what, minute of the film, when you realize that we're watching somebody's school report. Yep. Like, we're not real term paper. Yeah. We're watching a report which is posing the question to us, Needle or Tomato. Because this is the question.

It's one or the other. Pick a tomato. This is how you're going to live. So what the fuck did you make me watch? Okay, so to give that context, the, the, the, when we, when he finally closes the cover on these quotes, we see that this is school report titled cancer and disease politics and you, you as all capitalized, there's no punctuation, Home to school and ain't working for this kid. But right below that, he's drawn a tomato,

and then the vases BS and a needle. Yeah, like those. The kid couldn't even go to Clifford and get, you know? I mean, let's go to Microsoft Word when we can or something, but he had to draw it in fucking pencil. I mean, first of all, let's just say all the graphics and images in this film are drawn with either pencil or sharpie. Yeah.

Well, and by a 15 year old kid who really is not for a 15 year old is very stupid. And they're like, this is a stupid 15 year old. Well, but look at who he loses for education. Oh, he's like, he tic-tac toe to himself in the margins of his own report. It's really. Oh, Garrett. Garrett is our protagonist. We are following him on a journey from drawing needles and tomatoes to telling old people to put coffee up their butts. So like. Yes, that is the destination. That's the elevator pitch that got taken. Somebody's like, I want to take this ride.

And let's, let's have Garrett, you know, the air spirit guide on it. And 31,000 people wanted to take that ride with Garrett. Oh, and if you want to know how bad this is going to be, they don't make you wait. So the first spoken words I have this down is the five cheesiest possible words to start on anything with. All right. Yeah. The first words we hear are the infinite depths of darkness can be sliced open by light.

Yes, that's right. And it just keeps going with like weirdly erotic slam poetry about the earth as a dick. I'm pretty sure which was the metaphor. Like, yeah, the movies trying to fuck me at a college party. I thought they were about to start playing Wonderwall and asked me to sit on the movie's lap. Like it was really awkward. You're like at least we had till five minutes in.

Like we've only been here for a while. But this is how it starts. This is how it begins. And it sounds, I mean, I wrote down something about it sounding like Carl Sagan, but if Carl Sagan was maybe a really skeezy dude that lives in a van by the river, like, he, he van by the river. Like, so. So,

say it is that fully. Patrion, we will resurrect Carl Sagan just long enough and farly will resurrect both of them so far they can give him some pointers. Like yeah, I mean, if there was an afterlife somewhere Carl Sagan is crying right now, Well, resurrect both of them so far I can give them some pointers. Like, yeah. Yeah. I mean, if there was an afterlife somewhere Carl Sagan is crying right now because this guy was trying to do an impression of him by saying words salad that I just, I don't know. I mean, we, you know, they talk about naturalists and we meet, we meet 15 year old Garrett who has experienced

nature in the raw, which is the porn sequel to this film. Like, oh, this was weirdly graphic. Can we talk about it? Can we talk about it right now? Cause that is nature in the raw. Well, okay. So yeah, we, we, we, first we learned that cancer was cured back in 1928, then we meet Garrett and he's just

a regular kid jumping rivers into bikes and skateboarding and stuff. And then it's like, but this kid has seen some shit. And we watch an analog give birth. And it's like, well, now we've seen some shit too. It was so weird. The narrative is like, okay, well, a famous naturalist who I've never heard of, by the way, said, if you pull on a string of nature, you get the rest of nature. And for 15 year old Garrett, he relearns this every day.

And then we watch, I'm pretty sure a stillborn caribou pop out with mom. Why the fuck just had like, did he pull on the umbilical cord? I don't know. I was expecting that. I wasn't expecting that. I wasn't expecting full animal birth there, but we're just walking a mile and Garrett shoes here. Yeah, I guess. And also this is where they introduced Max Gerson, who is the dietary Messiah

that as much as anything will be what this movie is about, right? We're going to take a lot of weird diversions, but we keep coming back to Gerson. This is the guy that in 1928, cured cancer by discovering that babies needed food. Yeah, he closed the pantry doors. Well, right, yes, yes, because the cancer was so happy with all the stuff we were feeding it. We just need to starve.

Yeah. Well, if we all starve, we will not die of cancer. He'll answer. That's it. All right. And now it's time to meet neighbor Bob. And the way we meet neighbor Bob is that's where they go for their milk, but it's not pasteurized.

They actually say no store could legally provide the milk that we use. It's that good. Are they selling crap or milk? Like what? Yeah. The E. coli salesman is going to be a good guy. Right. I mean, Bob, Bob is our resident skeptic, right?

Sort of. Yeah. He's the one who's like, well, I need to see some scientific proof. And I'm like, well, if anyone could evaluate scientific proof, Bob, the unpasturized goat smell. And if anyone could bring the science at home school, Garrett. Well, right, right. Exactly.

That's where I look for my oncology opinions. And okay, so we get this weird little bit about how, you know, the Garrett heard about the gerson diet and saved Bob's wife's breasts with it. And then it's like, and then everyone in town believes the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker and and the mayor, the banker and the hammer museum. That was what the fuck I just I paused it then. And I just I paused it then and I just I Puzzled it in a row just I'm watching a film about gurson therapy. What the fuck? But also

Literally the mayor the baker the candlestick maker and The hammer museum. This is where we are. We're in a town that has an enemy man. That's who we need to talk about Oh, I wanted so bad to see the hammer museum guy in action just like people going in like hey man Do you have any screw drivers get the fuck out? Every day with this shit It's a hammer museum Assholes if it's not ever such crap Also the beekeeper yeah, all the beekeeper to really the bee cancer is that

What like given bees tiny little coffee animals what the fuck you really every the tiny one beat it wait have I already did I do that I'll fuck up a re-shuffle starting a round guy this is a healthy a They're the healthy. They're the healthy. Kaker long time. Jesus. Brad Cawfinn of this movie has so much crazy in it.

Have we met John yet at this point? Who was John Remain? My name is who has no legs. Oh, yes. Diabetes John. Diabetes Legolas John. Yeah. We'll see him again later too, of course, because everybody gets revisited. Well, I love that John, we see John, okay, so we see John and they're like, John didn't

hear about the Gerson therapy and time. And that's why he lost his legs to diabetes. But every time we look at him, he's smoking a cigarette. Yeah. That's not what I do with it. Come on. What's the message like if he did have Gerson therapy, like I've been drinking 18 points to juice every day

my diabetes just won't go away. What? Yeah, right. So okay. So now we learn, we meet sort of Max Gerson's daughter who carries on his legacy and looks like they cast Francis McDormand to play John Adams. Right? Like you couldn't look more insane than this woman.

Like if you were, if you were cast to play insane, you would dress up like this lady. After it. Yes. And apparently she heard about this town in Alaska where the candlestick maker and the hammer museum guy sure did love her dad's work. So she sent a copy of her book to Garrett to the kid. Because really, somehow it has been established in this bizzaro universe that this movie was filmed in,

that Garrett is the go-to for Cam. Yeah. Treatment. Yeah, I guess, yes. And I think they pointed out in the movie that even a 15 year old could find the text of this book a good read. Like, Garret just sitting there, he was reading comic books one day in the next day.

He's like, oh, fuck, I'm going to read about cancer. It was, it was, it was, it was maybe the best book ever. In fact, they show him flipping through the book and the subheadings that we see are, I shit you not fluoride Aspartame chemical agriculture and 9 11 was the Jews Hedding it's not helping I prefer the non-chemical Agriculture myself I would it's like you know when it's just raw energy. That's what I like at the best, when it hasn't frozen into some kind of, anyway. This is also where we learned that the protagonist of this science documentary has never read a whole book until this one. Yep. This is the first entire book he's read. He's 15. Yeah,

great homeschool and dad. 15 years old. And this, this is where, this is where it begins, his education on journey. Get him one of the illustrated classics with the picture every other page. I know something. Get him to read a fucking book, man. Yeah. So he's like, Garrett almost never could finish a book. But this was book, this book was different. Do partly, this is a quote, do partly in what the book addressed. I'm like, okay, dad, you haven't really finished a lot of books either. Have you now? Let's be fair. I just put it on the kid. Um, so, but he's like, yeah, no, but he when he read about this cancer therapy, it made so much sense to him because it fit with what he already knew.

And I'm like, yep, good cancer cares any good medical cure should be intuitive. I was just saying that the other day, that's what you want in a medical cure is the kind of thing of 15 year olds could come up with. Jesus. Also, we got to talk about the bomb. Yeah, we have to talk about the bomb because just there's a bomb now. This is just another what the fuck movie are we watching? Because it's just brought up so nonchalantly in the narration. Like this is a thing that happens on the regular that a kid... You know how it is when you drink it. You know how it is when you make an art project in quotes

that somehow resembles a bomb. Dad throws it out because dad finds an art probably. I mean, yeah, I have kids. I throw away stuff that they've drawn because I'm not going to keep stacks of paper. But like if I saw something that looked like a fucking bomb, what do you guys do it? What is this? Well, and I have to point out, okay, because the way he brings us up is says and then Garrett learned a lesson about being misunderstood when they mistook his art project for a bump. Okay. And then he zoomed in on a newspaper article about it.

According to this article, in his movie, the art project was a hollowed out wooden block containing gunpowder, paper scraps, and buffer material used for loading, or for home loading of ammunition. That's right. And the garbage man reported it. So it was like, it says not a bomb on the side. Clearly, just kid me to fucking bomb, right? They kid me to bomb.

And then he was homeschooled. Yeah. Well, it's great spell. He's like, his grades started to fall, even though they used to be straight A's. I'm just going to show you the report cards from after they fell though. Trust me on this straight A. Okay, so his first homeschooling assignment now that dad's taken him out of the public schools where the man is filling him full of eyes was to scientifically prove that a quack cancer cure works. Yeah, what? What does happen? Like, is this a normal homeschooling thing?

Like, okay, son, I want you to become an auto-didactic oncologist on 4chan, please. Now is your next assignment. On camera, what? You know, you've never read an entire book in your life, but cure cancer, please. Yeah, right, if you don't mind. Oh, Jesus, okay.

So he starts at the library because they're not some fancy computer in the home type family. And this is where he discovers that fluoride is evil. And you can tell by the tricky spell, like, you, oh, what the fuck has you, oh, and it's spelling, right? Anyway, yeah. So he also, we see this list that he has, like he's taking notes. Yeah, yeah. It's just a list of all things that somebody once told him were bad, right?

GMOs irradiated food. Is that, are we on that list? Yeah, that's the list. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Oh, his notes are the best. It says GMOs irradiated food. And then the next line, it says, other thing, arrow, yes, proof dash.

Say yes. First, okay, first of all, other things, I can write out the words of, like, he's got next bullet points spelled out, and go next thing, proof dash science. And then it says, and people healed. And that is their hope. That's the extent of his notes.

And those are just his notes from the book by the way that's the outline of the film. Yeah. And we keep returning to his end written, scrolling in his notebook to set the stages where we are because otherwise you know what though honestly if we didn't have his notes telling us what crazy topic we were talking about next, we would have no, we'd have no idea. Yeah, right. No, that actually was a good vehicle. It was.

Oh, this was like he read Sid Fields and came up with these notes. That's great. All right. So now it's time for Garrett to tell us about Gerald Cox. And really, he's got to tell us about fluoride being evil and Harold Hodg trying to create comic book villains apparently. So this is okay. Someone walked me through this. Why is fluoride related to atom bombs? Yeah. See, this was a part where I was watching and I was I was stone cold sober watching

this movie. But which I was watching and I was, I was stone cold sober watching this movie. But which I was probably a mistake. That was a really bad choice. And I made a grave error with that. I know I actually poured a drink for myself and ended up only taking one sip because I was writing so much and a lot of it was just what the fuck. And this part, the, like fluoride zombie, whatever stuff, I don't really understand. Did it make any sense to anybody? No, not me anyway. It's very, very confusing. We see a pencil drawing. They tried to make

sense of it. There's a pencil drawing of a guy getting injected with uranium plutonium and fluoride like you do in a syringe. Take a fucking conspiracy movie. Like what are you talking about? And then, that's a hardy fucking syringe. There's no, yeah, there's like a Vladimir Putin squirting him with a supersoaker. It makes no sense. And then they try to tie it in with the atom bomb because fluoride was one of the ingredients in that. Yeah, it was a lot jumbled into one probably what two minutes section of the movie. Yeah, right. Yeah, this is, this all happens in 90 seconds. We introduce fluoride. We tie it somehow to atom bombs because I think

honestly, because we needed a gratuitous gratuitous mushroom clouds somewhere in the film. We'd already had a Nazi reference after all. And then we meet Edward Bernays, who is the Ray Croc of fluoride zombie production apparently. And yeah, as we're, as we're still going like, wait, what the, how the fuck does fluoride being used in atom bombs mean we want to dump it in our water? How are the, as we're as we're still going like, wait, what the, how the fuck does fluoride being used in atom bombs mean we want to dump it in our water? How are the, as we're saying that he's like, also cell phone transmissions are killing the bees. The crazy trapezoidal. Yeah, that's rollin' down the track.

Wait, okay. The bees are back. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, remember it all ties back together, guys. We already introduced the bees. Jesus. All right, and also, you know what? Wolves don't have cavities, you know why?

They don't use cell phones. All right. You're eating. Wolves don't get enough. You're eating too much. You're eating too much. You're eating too much. Because Wol wolves put enough coffee in their ass. That's what it is.

Because Garrett is injecting the wolf population. The coffee out of us. Right. Like honestly, if during your research, you had come across an article about this kid being caught in the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge, putting coffee up a wolf's ass. How surprised would you be?

Not at all. On a scale of zero to zero? Right. They panned over and he was doing a fecal microbiota transplant, but a wolf and coffee and a bunch of wolf's asses would want to surprise it all. I'm like, Oh, okay, that makes more sense than your segue cell phones. Like, this is just a regular Tuesday for Garrett. Like, this is what it is.

Yeah. So we like again, and so much Like this is just one of us. Yeah. So we like again, and so much of this is just going to be these kind of, this is literally the argument he makes at one point. He says despite diet being proven to be related to skull formation, people still put fluoride in the water. I'm not exaggerating. That's the, I quoted the movie there, despite diet being proven to be related to skull formation, people still put right in the water.

Yeah, they have an expert. They hear they talk to the expert who says, no, there is absolutely no reasonable doubt that Floyd and the water is good for teeth. And then the, and then like the narrator goes, or is it? No, it is. It is. It is. I mean, but for dramatic effect, let's, let's pose that question again in, you know, narrator voice, but yeah, ask a question. Well, let's pose it again and then show a picture of Hitler. Yeah. And I love how they just take it to Hitler. They're, they're just like, let's, let's bring it there. Right. But, but it only works if you put it directly on your teeth.

Apparently that's the catch. Yeah, right, right. Right. The flow drinking doesn't, doesn't help. Well, see, a drink, where do you drink from, dude? But then I watch the rest of the movie. You need to keep watching. You're, you're ass.

But I mean, I mean, you know how the best way to use Viagra, you just smash it into your penis. It's like that with fluoride too. It's the same thing. I get what they're saying. All right. And yeah. And then we see Hitler because as nearest I could tell, Hitler used chemicals to murder Jews and fluoride advocates also used chemical. advocates also use chemical. All right. So now we jerk back into the Gerson therapy lane without even checking our fucking mirrors. And the dad says, well, now Garrett

needed to see both sides of medicine. There are not two sides of medicine. There's not unless not is one of the sides. So there's medicine, things that work are considered medicine. Alternatives medicine is just bullshit. Yeah. You know, other. Yeah, exactly medicine and author. And this movie strictly falls into the other category. It does. And just swims in it. Yeah. And this is where we have like the actual experts that they have like three experts in a row

going, no, it's this is absolutely bullshit. And why did they keep this party? I don't know. Like especially the last guy, it was like a couple of guys said like, no, that's, that's the dumbest thing ever. It doesn't even make sense to guess that that way. Yeah. Also, it doesn't. Yeah. And it doesn't. It doesn't even make sense to guess that that way. Yeah. Also, it doesn't.

Yeah. We checked and it doesn't. But like the last guy who was like, okay, all right, but what about the editor-in-chief here of an alternative medicine journal? Still go fuck myself. Oh, okay. Thought that was gonna be the last note.

We'll cut this later. Boosey, like, and I wrote down in my notes, my all fuck, it's Stephen Barrett from Quackwatch. I was so stoked. I was like, but I've been thinking,, you why? Why did you keep him in? Why did you keep him in? Well, again, show that the narrator could come in after all the experts and go, but is it? But is it?

You know, that's what he did. He set himself up for all those. He's like, I just want to be that guy who narrates the film like that. Yeah. Who says, I'm my question to ask you. Literally. Also, and to give you an idea how good this guy is critical thinking, he's like, you know, but afterwards I went to interview a number of people who had cancer that used the gursan therapy and none of the people that I interviewed were dead. Right.

That's the argument he's making more than a couple of people, by the way, if that's what you were thinking, my sample size, when I subtracted out all the dead ones, every single one of them was alive. Well into the dozens is size of my sample. 13 people. I have a baker's dozen of. There's even just for whatever reason, there's just random stock footage of Japanese scientists now. He had the stock footage. He's like, I might as well use it. Doesn't matter. That would have a documentary of juggling beakers.

Okay. Juggling beakers. Hey, I think if this wasn't a good idea, do we really think Prince Charles would be involved with it? So, yeah, you know, when you're, when this is the person for whom, you know, you're going to, this is who you're going to. No, let her think he wrote a letter about it. I mean, so this is this is the person that is your reputable source of, oh, this is a good idea. Right. This is this is it. Prince Charles is Gwen of Paltrow with nowhere to stick the fucking J. A. All right. Up is what the coffee was about. Well, yeah, no, okay, somewhere to stay this place. Different place to stick it. All right, so and now we see

Charlotte Gerson, Max Gerson's daughter, given this batch shit crazy lecture. And I thought to myself at this point, like and I have this in my notes, Natalie already brought it up, but like this is really just a documentary about why homeschooling shouldn't be allowed, right? Yeah, because he goes to do his research. Like this is the, you know when you hear people, I mean, internet say he goes to do his research. Like this is this is the you know

when you hear people on the internet say I did my research. Yes, we get to watch. We get to watch somebody doing what like we get to see this in real life what it looks like and what it looks like when somebody does their research is going to the library because he doesn't have the Google machine at home. And he's and he is just going through magazines. I imagine I'm sitting there reading fucking like people magazine in Us Weekly or something and he's like, oh, I don't see Gerson therapy in here. That's where you fucking go. It just because it's not in people magazine. Jesus, fucking Christ. This is our actual system is fucked.

Yeah. He literally says that the narrator says Garrett studied various magazine articles. Yep. Famous medical journals like time and people and highlight for kids and and there's the spot that's different. I told you that you can eat away cancer. Yeah. And so he's like time magazine. He never mentioned Gerson therapy.

They had ads for real medicines for cancer, but nothing about fucking juice and caribou placenta or whatever. I mean, proof of a cover up, right? Like that's that was that was the first time I wrote that in my notes. Wouldn't be the last where he's like, Garrett searched all over for mentions of Gerson therapy in the mainstream media and found nothing, which could only mean it's the hidden truth. Oh, Jesus. Also, this is where they go and the girls and family sent him some home movies. That's not a creepy thing for them to do to a 15 year old kid who took an interest in their

grandpa's book. Creepy as fuck. They, they, this, there's some dark undertones in this movie. It's like, this could go either documentary or horror film in somebody's eyes. Right. It's like this is weird as hell. All these people are real fucking weird. Yeah, no, I was thinking at this point, okay, I'm pretty sure that Charlotte is the killer. He did, he did Charlotte.

It's boiler. She is. He has a large body count. Well said, but she used to be 20. That's what we're establishing. I think with this scene that Garrett watched this clip of her and growing in her her modest swimsuit over and over. I don't know.

I don't know why they're close that. So I have, I mean, I know that probably isn't appropriate. Says does Garrett jerk off to old videos of Charlotte Gerson. Sorry, it's a very clearly he did. 100% yes. Okay, so thank you for answering that because I'll know the answer. Yeah, I mean, we all did. I think we all agree that we all did. So that's locked in. I've had. We all did. Everybody said we all did. So, all right. So yeah, he speaks for the show. So, all right. And then we, of course, we have to go through the whole like, Gerson was ridiculed for his beliefs just like Samo wise. Yep. The murder.

Gerson. Yeah. He got ridiculed just like Galileo too. So therefore, curing tuberculosis with ass kale is not stupid. Oh, yes, yeah, exactly. But now he mentions like data right here. He says like he did this massive study with 250 patients. Unfortunately, apparently the data was taken back up to heaven when Joseph Smith was done translating it, right? Like, is no scientists can find this shit? No.

It's on some golden plates somewhere. Yeah. Also, there's another great one here. When the ABC news anchor said that you could cure cancer with butter, that guy got fired. That's also proof of the comfort. It's not proof that it's bullshit, but it has to, it could only be, yeah. But so, okay, but they're, they're fucking contradict themselves because they're, they're talking about curing T answer with kind of the opposite of butter. Well, that's true, that's true. Or there are just a lot of cures that are floating around that are all sort of contradictory to each other and you just have to pick your

own. Do you want to eat a stick of butter or do you want to shove coffee in your ass? Well, it is a tough. You've got to dissolve the stick of butter in your coffee like that. And then you put it in your ass. You know there's, you know, we just cured cancer. Yeah. And out of our metabolism and everything. And could make millions, unfortunately. Oh, also, and I, I know you might be thinking at this point, but what about science? Well, you remember cigarettes? Those were science. How do those work out?

That's literally where we go now. That's where we go, because, yeah. And, and yes, we, who would, who would say, oh, you're making this up that they, you know, had to change their mind on cigarettes or whatever. Yeah. Like people used to say cigarettes were safe and doctors smoked camels and whatever, but um, we're not saying that anymore. So, okay.

I wanted them to get confused here. They'd like go back to Hitler and be like Hitler. Also thought cigarettes were weight. Hitler's the most. We're making a different point with Hitler last time. Damn it. Well, but the point here is like, cigarette companies said that Gerson was wrong about his caring cancer with Ask Coffee.

Are you agreeing with the tobacco industry? And they're talking about, you know, like the tobacco industry, they go into kind of toxic, big pharma, whatever, because who needs anything pharmaceutical when you have garlic and raw honey? And hydrogen peroxide. Hello. This gets about to cure the common fucking cold. That's your Okay, so we so we doesn't pour that it is but at least funny pours.

We explore a lot of orifice this in this We don't know where he put his foot after the cut. You never know. Yeah, that's true. We never saw him applying the garlic. So yes, that's that's a thing that happens right now. Again, smooth transition garlic and honey. If you spread it all over your foot, you'll cure your bad foot. Bad foot. A big footness. So that'll help that hydrogen peroxide in your ear will prevent the common cold. So I'm going to go.

Well, 3% though. Yeah, that's not so he was going. He went all the way down from 100 to three and then he's like, oh, now I don't have the cold. Yeah. Right. Also, there's a part here where Garrett tells us his thoughts on the FDA, which his dad has written down for him in advance.

Remember how much fun it was in school to watch that kid that really couldn't read, Reed? That's what this movie is. Mm-hmm. And then at the end of this little scene, there's this one moment, it's insane. They just cut to, they're like Garrett gave his orphaned moose, his last bottle of unpasturized goat's milk.

And then it died. And it got. Exactly. And moving on and seen what was that about? Like we're wrapping up a story that we never told. Yes. Where do you think they went with that?

There's not. You know, if there's lost footage somewhere where they they started an narrative about this animal and they got invested but then they lost the footage. I don't know. I don't know. What? Amuse with mad cow disease.

I think same. I don't know. I think that dad was just reading how to make a movie bit and that here and there he was just like, okay, he needs a sidekick. Moose, orphaned, moose. He needs a love interest, Mexican girl. Like, you know, cause it just wants in a while. He's just like, you know what would help as an enemy now.

I want to go to a moose orphanage. Yeah, by the way, just for the record. All right, we'll plan a field trip. All right, so now it's time to have breakfast with Max Kersen's crazy daughter and just a couple other crazy people that were lingering. That's right. It's a halfway house for conspiracy theorists. It really is.

That's what it looked like. It really was. It really was. All right. Hey, well done. You made me stop mid scotch. Scotch was halfway to his mouth and he stopped. All right.

So there are done. I'm just going to hang it up and. Yeah. Right. That's all for me. All right. So now it's time to go. I'm going to go.

I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going gonna hang it up and yeah, right That's all for me. All right, so Now it's time now I Spits so much time today looking through all of this going how am I gonna transition? I fuck it's not Say a word because that's what this movie is it's like yeah people just playing shouting because that's what this movie is. It's like, yeah, people just playing kitchenaries shouting out what? That's going on topic next. Let's talk about Mercury Vapor.

And an object in that job. Dental Amalgam, God. It's improv, troop doing a science documentary. Yeah, okay. Now we get this amazing demonstration that is meant to prove that dental amalgams are outgassing Mercury gas Mercury gas and green temperature All the time and and not like a safe amount

Gas like a 191 mercury unit Is measured at one point by their mercury. The mercury. They've got the mercury. They got it. They got it. They got it far away from that because we don't want to get gas. Like, whoa, okay.

Now, apparently this is a demonstration that a lot of alternative medicine nuts do about this dental and malcom thing. And what you actually see is water vapor. Yes. Yes. Right. So we're looking at water vapor. But then they say they take this tooth that has a dental filling in it and they rub it and they wet it first, right? They wet the tooth because they're like, you know, that that simulates saliva. I'm like, really, you salivate water. No, but it doesn't work if we don't do this. So, and then they rub on it until you get water vapor. And then he says, proving that he knows how he's doing this. He says, and this isn't just water vapor. Look, I'll dip my fingers into water and do nothing.

And you won't see any water vapor coming off of those absorbent things will you? And so what were they? What were they? They were running electricity through the tooth and then checking to see the vapor. I know. I think they were just rubbing it with something. I thought they were zapping it with something. I know. I know. But there was dramatic music that proved that they really early was happening. So the music was so bad. I expected Charlton has to come out screaming about how the amalgams were made from people. Yeah. It was. Yeah. They're like, we get poisoned in here. Yeah. He's like, is this poisonous? And the guy's like, well, here's my mercurometer. Let me check. He gets the, he gets the here. And yeah, he's like, is this poisonous? And the guy's like, well, here's my mercurometer.

Let me check. He gets the, gets the reading. And he's like, yeah, that's 191 fucking mercuries. If the factory has over a hundred mercuries, they evacuate. What the fuck? The guy works in a mercury factory. I just like, I think you've now plurled the word. And it's.

Yep. I just like, I think you've now plurled the word. And it's crazy. Yep. So they do that and that's scary and dangerous. And then this is one of my favorite quotes of the movie. The guy goes, so imagine, imagine six people degassing in an elevator, which is, first of all, just phrasing, Think about your phrasing, asshole. But just a great, great example. Like, I want, I want to see the world where farting is from your mouth and made a mercury thing. It's all I kept thinking of.

The world's Heathwads delivered, so. I want to live like, everyone's holding their mouth closed, blowing out sideways and pointing at someone else. One guy's got like silver liquid dripping out of his mouth wasn't I need to leave Dude you have a lot All right, so yeah, we we really dig deep though into how you can get mercury poisoning from having your teeth clean. And to give you an idea how lazy they are about this at 1.1 guys just goes, well, did you know the average life expectancy of a dentist is 53 years? Is that where? No, wait, what, what, like part of the world? Rewanda, right?

Like, yeah, exactly. Like, you can look this shit up. In no time. No, it isn't. None of these people have discovered Google yet and that's why they made this movie. There's a way to really have a one book, a hope and a prayer and a video camera.

That's what this is, get off of. Thank you. So, okay, but we're not done just yet with the dentist thing. We have to now go to Colorado Springs, Colorado to meet a super dentist who just hates the fuck out of fluoride and mercury. Is this hellhugins? Are we? Yes. Yes. Uh huh. Hellhugins. Hellhugins. Is he sounds like a, like a jolly guy, but no. Yeah, he sounds like the, the, the woodsy character from a fucking prairie novel or something. Yeah. Yeah, but okay. This is the first part of the movie where like up until now, I'm watching along with

the movie. I'm like, wow, this is fucking wacky. But this is the part where they now have this child's feelings removed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is that part where it's like you're up until this point, you're just laughing or you're like, what the fuck? Whatever.

And then you're like, oh, there's a there's a child that is long for this fucked up ride. And the narration is saying Garrett was depressed. Well, no fucking shit. He's depressed because you're telling him he has poison in his mouth. Right. Because fucking magnetos about the terrorist feelings now.

Yeah, that's terrifying. Right. And as they're showing the footage of him having his feelings removed, they're like asking Dennis, like how many Dennis would say Mercury is in, in feelings is safe. And he's like, well, that would be a hundred percent proof of the cover up. He also says, you can't be a dentist if you think Mercury is poisonous.

Like when, like, and it's like, yeah, the day before you become a dentist, that's on a day it happens. They show up at your house that day before and ask for Mercury's poisonous. And if you say, yes, break this Mercury, break it out. Have you? Yeah. If you say Mercury's Poisonist, they take away your, get that gin gun that you have. Well, that's it. That's bad. Take away your drill. That's it.

Yeah. There you go. So, oh, and he even says at one point here, and I believe this part is true, where he says like 63% of people who get their amalgams removed end up with autoimmune diseases within a year within a year. Like they point that out in their movie, but then they're like, but that's by the evil dentist who do it wrong to punish you for not wanting Mercury in your face. Right. Also, how is that a helpful stat like celiac is an autoimmune disease, right? Like lupus? Yeah. So weakness. Look to fuck is he talking about? Right, right. a lot of the stuff that's not a lot of the stuff that's not a lot of the stuff that's not a lot of the stuff that's not a lot of the stuff that's not

a lot of the stuff that's not a lot of the stuff that's not a lot of the stuff that's not a lot of the stuff that's not a lot of the stuff that's not a lot of the stuff that's not a lot of the stuff that's not a lot of the stuff that's not a lot of the stuff that's not Dammit something. Yeah, and by the way, also we should point out that this like lunatic howl huggins Dennis guy that they're talking to, talking to, he's like, yeah, I said crazy

shit and lied to my patient. So I got kicked out of dentistry and they took my drill. And, but then he starts going on like, and my family left me, you know, because the American Dental Association has a lot of sway with my family. I think your family left you how? Because you're fucking crazy. That's my be it. Yeah. Dentistry is just like the mafia. Like how Hogan thinks he's fucking Donnie Brasco of dentistry here. I'm so stupid.

I also love like it's because they have footage of this kid getting his feelings taken out of, but they never show the dentist and the and the dad explains. He's like, this dentist that did all these procedures made me sign multiple documents that I would have to pay his salary for the rest of time if his face or name was ever associated with this movie in any way because it's so true. It's too true for this dentist. What? All right. And now quite suddenly we're talking about food additives.

Everybody up for talking about food additives? Good. MSG is an excitotoxin. That sounds fucking awesome. That sounds fantastic. Yeah. They brought on an excitotoxin expert or something, right, to talk about it. Yes.

Yeah. The guy from the Truth in Labeling thing who says something immediately false about labeling. Yeah. Like the FDA doesn't require a label for foods with MSG additive. Yes, the fucking does. It absolutely does. And he has his job description. It's so many places you would know that.

It's like naturally occurring MSG. It doesn't have to have a label, but of course, fucking like you don't have to have like like a chemistry textbook attached to every tomato. Right. Exactly. Yeah. And this is where he comes on and he's like, I got cancer because of the MSG. So my wife cured me by reading shit in the local library.

No need for fancy paid educations in my cancer treatment. The whole time by the way, the kids got that smarmy like see me outweating all the doctors again. Look, just makes me want to clean his mug face. And then this guy saying his wife spent 4,000 hours reading. Who has 4,000 hours to do anything? I wanted to vote my all of my free time to reading about MS Chief. You have no fucking life. You get a hobby. That's about that. 4,000 hours.

That was the number that was said. I wrote that down because that is staggering amount of hours. That's about an hour. A lot of hours. She's real stupid, right? She's got to be a super slow reader. I want to see her just like sounding it out out loud in the library. And she could miss you've been here for so many hours.

This is a yeah. So yes, but she cured his cancer. Also, okay, that was time to meet John only. And I love his intro. They're like, John only rarely gives interviews. Not that people don't want to talk to him though. They always are wanting to talk. He's huge offers. He's at complaints about the size of it. Yeah, exactly. So he comes on to tell us that glutamate murders bunnies, baby bunnies at that.

The glutamate industry. Is that, is there an industry? Like, I'd like to look at that. The glutamate industry is that is there an industry? Like I What yeah, they all it's like you think of like the last supper table with like Jesus and all that there's big Glutamate there's big farm either Fung Santo at the head like it there's big be can't I Big, big, big, big floor, right? Big, big floor, right? Big, big, big, big root canal.

Big, big Adam bomb is, is there? So big Hitler. Big Hitler, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big media man, I said it. Then we tackle the question of just what you can eat if you're afraid of all the bans. She's they put in your Twinkies This is the part where like the the kids fucking starving so he makes his dad stop at McDonald's and dad's very disappointed Yeah, you can tell McDonald's is bad because later on he had to take a shit It's so weird. He's like, don't eat the McDonald's food. Technically, you're a radioactive terrorist.

Don't. And then they're on the plane. And they don't show him shitting, obviously. They don't show him shitting. But they're like, I don't know how obvious that is. No, that's not obvious. That's not obvious with this movie. That is not obvious.

We've already talked about blood coffee. So many times, you think, why not just throw the kid off the toilet? Oh, can I just, can I just an aside at this point, you know, talking about Garrett being the narrator's son? It took me a really long time to realize that they were father and son because somehow I missed that. And I just thought we were on a super creepy road trip

with a, with some guy with, you know, weird voice Carl Sagan and 15 year old Garrett and I didn't know what was yeah watching so. And he kept calling him the boy. Yeah, he's really creepy. I didn't get it right away either. So much show that you think that you wonder if that's what he calls him at home. Hey, the boy get in here.

You know, because it's dad. Yeah, I didn't get this until the end. Okay. So it wasn't just me because I'm just thinking like this is real weird. They're eating he's eating McDonald's in the car. He's kind of chastising him over narration for eating McDonald's and I'm like, what is their relationship? And this is fucking weird. And so, okay. And then by the end, I realized there were father and son that took away too long for me to realize that. Yeah. Yeah. That should have been shown up front.

Real bad story. And then they chat. Yeah. And then they chastise him for sh story guys. That's what it's like. Yeah. And then the trust I'm for shitting. I don't get it. Yeah, right. Like what is supposed, like if you eat enough kale, you don't shit.

You don't want to be shitting. That mean if you're not shitting, that means your body gets all the nutrition. And you can't get cancer. All right, now we're going to head to Jackson, Mississippi. We're all the cutting edge medical researchers done. And this is the guy who explains how eating fast food makes the kids stupid. And that's what's wrong with them these days.

I mean, there. This part sounded accurate to me. I'm not sure about the science, but if you'll, in case you're not sure about the science, they have the animation, but if they'll raise it. In case you're not sure about the science, they have the animation, right? You show you how MSG's break the brain's fan belt. Yeah, my note was they spent about $2 on that animation if anything, because I just don't. Right, okay.

And also like, because there's so much crazy in here, whenever he says something that's not untrue, you're like, hey, right? Because he had one point he goes like, and eating fast food causes obesity. And we're like, well, yes, right? Right? You still have food to him. Give me a little pound of time.

Give me a little pound of time. It's time of day stopped clock. Yeah, okay. Oh, there's also this great moment where the guy is talking to him, like Bill Nies evil twin is talking to him about MSG. And they do the whole, we switched out this lunatics organic chips with MSG chips. Let's see if he notices that that what is about to go crazy you son of a bitch. He like.

He's like. It's something and just completely different creature, but a laugh. It's not that movie. But also like okay, but if we're taking the movie at face value, he's like one guy is saying, you know, these Chips are laced with brain poison and the dad's going to want some of these brain poison chips. They look so tasty now. Don't they? Like what what experiment is dad conducting? Is he just trying to kill everybody in his wake? Like just to see if he's right. Oh, yeah, actually he is. He is. Nope.

Not untrue. Nope. Okay. And then of course, not only does MSG kill your brain, it also causes cancer, which is why cancer patients so often die of broken cerebral fan belts. He also says at one point that there are a nearly infinite number of foods with MSG. Nope. No. What does that mean? What is that? Words that you want to know? No. There's not a nearly infinite number of foods. Name an all that infinite number. Name the number

that you consider almost infinity. What do you think is almost infinity? What's the second biggest number you know you fucking idiot He's like fuck statistics fuck numbers. I'm just gonna go and cheerly infinite All right, well my bed pan run it over and never have three people more earned a break. So we're going to pause for a moment. But first, let me give act three, the hard sell here. This was the easiest hard sell I've ever written because I could for the first time just actually use questions that are answered later in the film. Here we go.

They are. How does organic farming change the auras of baby carrots? They're going to die. They can't. How much coffee in your ass is enough coffee in your ass. There's an absolute out. They've died. Where do morbidly obese people get their caskets? Scalyth caskets. I doubt the answers to these questions. For realsies and more, when we return for the tangential conclusion of the beautiful truth. All right, guys, have a seat.

We've got to get a handle on something. Sure thing, boss. What is it? Look, you're two of the best operatives that the Illuminati has, but we've got to do something about this vegan cancer cure. What are you talking about? We took care of that years ago. Yeah, we fixed that.

Did you? Yeah. I mean, there are over 15,000 oncologists in this country, and not a single one of them has ever heard about it. Yeah, we've got 600,000 people a year dying of cancer. That's way over quota. 22% over, right? Look, I'm not denying any of that.

You've done a great job keeping the cancer cure out of the hands of doctors, researchers, from suitable companies, the media professors, and insurance executives. Okay, well then what's the problem? Well, it's those damn uneducated, rural, fundamentalist farmers again. God damn it, it's always friends. Yeah, somehow they can always unearth what none of the world's best investigative journalists can get a whiff up. Yeah, those guys sure can't Google.

Yeah, so many ideas. Well, I hate to sound like a broken record here. I said this before, but can we revisit my idea about not putting illuminati symbols in the logos of all the corporations we control? I feel like that is how I'm going. Again, come on, come on. come on. I know I'm just because I'm saying we like it's right there. But look, no, no, look, it's the hard policy. It's kind of our whole thing. That's a non-starter. But fine. All right. Come on, guys, like anything else. You know, I think I might just have the time-traveling high-slash assassination plot that we need right now.

Seriously, for real? Yeah, actually, just to the end of the movie, that's for real. Really? Really? Really? Really? And we're back for more of this shit. When we last left our hero, he was discovering the infinite number of foods that contained brain exploding poisons.

And now it's time to face the enemy. So Garrett heads to Omaha in Nebraska to confront big food himself. Yeah, you have to go start tilting at windmills and all Don Quijote here. Yeah, right. So they tilting at windmills, little Don Quijote here. Yeah. Right. So they go to con agros factory, but no one at con agro will talk to him because they should because every big corporation has time in their day to be like, let me go out

and talk to this 15 year old child who showed up on our property. Yes. And just to remind you once again, how insane this really is, the narrator goes, Connegrous Factory reminds me of that station in Alaska that the NSA controls the weather from. Yeah, this is real. This is real. Well, it's really what he believes. Yes, yes, this is a real part of the movie.

We're not made like none of this, and we couldn't have made any of this up. That made it up themselves. Nope, yeah, and this is another one of those like mundane object pop scares they're trying to do. Like this is a heavily guarded facility. And at that moment, they're showing us like a very small decorative fence. Yes.

They're like looking up at to make it look slightly taller, but it's like a two foot decorative fence. And it's like a military, like the missile silos in Alaska that we have footage of also and they show us that so stupid. Yeah. And just in case you didn't manage to get all the crazy out of it, he also says where there are rumors that the NSA controls the weather. Also, the oil companies didn't have anybody available to talk to Garrett for his documentary,

so they're hiding something. Obviously. I mean, I work at a, I'm going to be working at a child care center of a 15 year old calls me to ask me questions. I'm probably not going to talk to him either. Right, because you also, because I have a job for big science. You know, yeah, I love this moment too, where he's like,

but you know, like nobody would talk to him. So he went skateboarding and you can just see this look on the kids face like finally, oh, for fuck's sake, I get to just be a kid. I thought they were going to like add something there like, but it turns out those rails are made of plutonium. Here it's already radioactive, I think. Well, clearly so whatever, no big deal.

And then suddenly a crazy guy's talking again, I can't keep up with who's who in this, but this is the guy who goes, we have to go back to hypocrite. Okay, so just if there was a drinking game for bad science movies, oh, yes, drink a bottle of something every time they say, Hippocrates and you'll be. Always, they have to always have to take it to Hippocrates. Well, and look, he wasn't just going back for the Hippocratic oath. He's quoting medical advice from Hippocrates. Yeah. And he picks a quote that only half makes his point. The quote was, let food be your medicine and let medicine be your food. And then he's like,

Hippocrates had amazing first halves of services. And we caught that part. Damn it. This is also the kind that goes every single drug does harm. Yeah. He says that just point blank. He's gonna drop that here. Yeah, exactly the disease. Yeah. What? Yeah. This does harm full stop.

Well, if you put enough of it above you and then drop it suddenly, I just, yeah. Food also is important. I learned that in this movie. So now it's time because none of the food manufacturers would talk to them So now they're gonna talk to a food engineer This is where we meet Carol Hornline who was attacked by Asper-Tame That raped her. She was free-basing Asper-Tame

Where she worked in engineering food, she got all the cancers. Every day I just imagined her in a whole tub of it, just swimming around in the ass. That's which we took. It was good poison. Just. Give her all the tumors.

So they pick her up on the way to a radio station for an interview because why add one crazy lady when you can get to. Well, and the radio interview is like a grandma's house or something. Yes. Yeah, it's crazy. It's a radio station that appears to be built by the Amish. Yeah.

Like it's a lot of you have in radio. A guy just like rides to town and yells, everything you say. That's the radio station. Not a horse and buggy. Yeah. Power hour. They're on power hour. Yeah, right. And it's like the radio station has a lot of trouble getting people to listen to it. Proof of the cover up, right?

You know, like, nobody wants to advertise with these guys. Because they're too scared. That's gotta be it. And then Charlotte Gershine shows up too. And I'm like, oh my God, they're putting together an all female alt med guru bullshit avengers. Oh my God. Right. Because this is also where the host here. And this is the lady wants to talk about Gulf War syndrome. Yes. Right. Oh, that's right. I forgot about Gulf War syndrome for a minute. He's got so much going on. There's so much fucking. It's the aspartane. It's easy to forget thing.

I was just swimming in a bounce a bit before. I had this shovel full myself. That's that's how you do it by the shovel full. Well, but of course we have to talk about Gulf War syndrome because otherwise this birth defect montage would be completely superfluous. Again, he had to stop footage lying around. He's like, Gulf War syndrome, anyone want to, anyone to come on? He's on 4chan or something, no, he doesn't have the internet,

but whatever. Right, yeah. So, okay, yeah. So apparently this woman self-diagnosed with Gulf War Syndrome, despite not having been in the Gulf. She admits that. But then she found that if she ate enough kale and shoved enough coffee up her ass, her undiagnosed condition went away.

Honey, how that works. Right? Interesting. Yeah. condition went away. Honey, how that works. Right? Yes. Yeah. And so what did she claim? She was like, yeah, I flew between Cuba and Alaska. So I was never like in the Gulf, but I was like next to soldiers who were infected with all the toxins.

Right. Such as. Yeah, please. The toxins she lists are depleted uranium, Agent Orange and Vaccines. So. Vaccines. So, So, So,

So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So,

So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So,

So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, and Garrett needed to draw a graph eventually. Exactly. Right. Yes. Clearly show the narration said as the graphs clearly show the graph looks like it was drawn by maybe a fourth grader or maybe my five year old got into the frame. It was clearly a crayon graph. And even if they had invested all the money and Microsoft paints to make this into a real graph, but the graph they're showing is that, and it's, again, this is real popular. I guess these all med people, they show the, the incidents of vaccine preventable diseases,

right? And they say, hey, look, it was going way down even before the vaccine was introduced. Those aren't graphs of the incidents. Those are graphs of the deaths, right? The deaths were going down already. So like what they're saying is, cause who doesn't want a little non-fatal polio now and again? But they didn't understand any of those distinctions.

You just made them, you were just like, hey, look at this graph when it goes fucking downwards, that's always bad, down, sloping graphs are bad. And as you can see, you want to buy Amazon and vaccines are murder. So graphs. Also, there you have it. Also very important, genetically engineered foods are literally lethal. And now we're anti-jama. What move here? We want to be gone from back to two. We're here. We want to be, we've gone from backs to two, I don't even know GMO OMG or something in two steps.

So where are we? What universe are we living in? But yeah, why not anti-GMO and why not get fucking Andrew Kimbrill bag on free range mark, Hamill? Yeah. And he comes like the very first thing he says after genetically engineered foods are literally lethal. Again, only if you put enough of them above you and drop them suddenly.

But he says, I promote organic and sustainable agriculture. I'm like, okay, that you're at cross purposes there then. Those are stupid things. Well, sustainable one is great. If you take out the organic, you could get so much closer. Also, I love that during this interview, the kids wearing headphones, right? And I know it's to capture the audio,

but in my mind, he was just listening to the skeptics guy the whole time. No, he's listening to Charlotte Gerson just talk. He's like, he's that earth-wise. About what she looked like in her swimsuit 20 years ago, yeah. ASMR, here's cancer. And so then there's Andrew just sitting there, like talking about how genetic engineering can create allergens and cancer and farmers are committing suicide because of Monsanto. And so he's throwing a lot in there. Yeah.

Yeah. So yeah, he's got a very sticky wall. Um, even goes like, and have you ever noticed that the chemical companies are the ones making all these chemicals? But yet I did notice that. You don't really need to notice that. That's just to work. We're meaning of words. It's too obvious to notice really ultimately.

Notice is the wrong word. Um, and then, and then like they accidentally, you know, again, we come around to the time of day when this broken clock is working. And they point out that maybe we shouldn't have people who work in businesses regulating those same businesses, right? So of course, to make this point, they have to interview Beth Harrison and what sounds like a sewing machine factory. Yeah, they did make a good point there. Absolutely. And the point was

kind of they were like, Clarence Thomas, John Ashcroft, Donald Rumsfeld, these are bad people. And like, yeah, those are bad people. But I love that they wanted to escalate the Hitler comparison. And they went with. Clarence Thomas John, yeah, that made me happy. I got to admit that made me pretty happy. Because one point somebody goes, well, GMO could theoretically make foods worse. And I'm like, well, yeah, but we don't use it.

You could use it to make foods worse? Yes. Yeah, obviously. Again, this is just words. Yeah, like he says, the FDA agreed in the 80s that it's possible to make food bad for you. They didn't agree to that in the eight, they were created in 1906 because that's obviously true.

Yeah, right. What the fuck are you talking about? All right, well, we don't have time to get into the details for that because, man, Mon Santo, rather, is pretty much Satan incarnate. So we have to talk about them. Yeah. In their evil.

Yeah, will they have an evil plot you see to buy up all the seeds in the world? Right. All of the seeds in the world. A nearly infinite number of seeds. I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna give you.

They just got like Noah's Ark and they're like, this is supposed to fit. We're supposed to be able to put them all in here. You got to be able to put them all in here. You got to be able to put them all in here. You got to be able to put them all in here to fit. We're supposed to put them all in here. You don't want it. Plei-t-a-ball. God damn mustard seeds aren't as small as he said they'd be. This is not as tall. And okay, do I have this right?

Monsanto's plan was to cause a mass starvation so they can make money on that? Don't we all die? On the court. We die and they have the seeds. I guess they're just seed hoarders. I don't know. That's exactly. It's just about the seeds. Damn it. It's an episode of hoarders, but it's just Monsanto. All full of seeds. Like there's not dead cats just seeds everywhere.

Yeah, from from what they're claiming here, Monsanto is apparently just in it for the dead people. That's also, hey, you might not have known this because you didn't watch this movie. Pesticides completely unnecessary. We made up bugs. Farmer is just using a man of pure evil. Yeah, well, there's a mass conspiracy theory to just kill everybody. That's phasing. Including us.

Phasing after everybody's dead profit. Exactly. Also, okay. Now we have to talk about food irradiation because that sounds scary. Yeah. Why not? Because why not? It's on Garrett's list.

Yeah. Well, in and when you irradiate food, they have free radicals and that sounds communist. Oh, is this where they show the two darts? Yeah, this is the best. They show, oh, sorry, I've got this. They show organic dirt in one jar and next to like pesticide use dirt in another jar. It's like a before and after picture from like the Atkins diet or the whatever fucking diet and like the organic dirt. It's got like a giant smile and like her and makeup done and a fucking erection and the other one's just leaving. It's just like my dad's sad face. I'm looking at it. I'm going like which dirt is I can't tell better dirt. I don't. What that would look like. Also, and just to make

sure that like we recognize fully that there is no solid floor beneath the crazy, at this point, the guy goes like, Garrett thought that the one way to stop this would be by changing the way we vote. If you can trust the voting machines that is. So let's bring it to voter fraud or something. Yeah. Why not again, is everything they just kept saying why not? Why not? There are no scheduled stops on the crazy train. There are just stops.

We get all the seeds Mexico died. And all our votes are valid. They're all okay. Yeah. Right. Obviously. All right. And now it They're, oh, okay. Yeah. Right. Right. Obviously. All right. And now it's time to tackle the difficult, like, why am I the guy telling you about this? When I clearly don't know anything about anything, question, spoiler, it's on a count of the cover up. The cover up. Right. This is where you're like, even my kid believe this, when I assigned him to believe it in school.

Yep. Got the voice down believe it in school. Yep. Got the voice down pretty well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And now it's time to talk about obesity. Yup. With a visual aid.

Like we weren't going to understand the word obesity. Like people are going to go in a minute. Can we get like 10 minutes of sugar being poured? Yeah. Right. I feel like that's a little subtle let's do 20 they'll get it there you go yeah okay so for this disconnected rant we are gonna talk about obesity by going to a big and tall casket shop because because Garrett was wondering something that every 15 year old boy wonders boy because I mean you guys were every 15 year old boy wonders. Boy, the boy, because I mean, you guys were one 15 year old boys.

I imagine you laying in your bed at night thinking, what happens to a dead obese person? Right? Oh, for the morning. That's your 15 year right? For the morning. Oh, okay. God, dammit. I want to know what happens when fat people die.

Right. Well, yeah, it's a journey that all young boys go through at a certain point. This, this contains so much goddamn crazy that I had to bring a clip. All right. So this is a clip. This is just as three says that we're going to go to a big and tall casket shop. Goliath casket. A couple of Goliath.

Yeah. Jesus Christ. We're secretly owned by Monson. That's the end game world World Starvation, and... It goes fat on big coffins. Exactly, you can charge more for those coffins. That's... All right, so anyway, here's the clip. The Ohio Valley is the casket making capital of the world.

Naturally, the boy had wondered what eventually happens to an oversized dead person. Here at Goliath casket company, this family owned businesses experiencing a booming market, which Garrett credited to pharmaceutical drugs, MSG, Aspertain, vaccines, food or radiation, genetically modified foods, dental amalgams, water, fluoridation, and root canals to name a few. So yeah, that's probably what killed them of the fatness. Okay, so we all agree that people are fat, at least we found a point of agreement an hour

into the movie, and that's nice. Yeah, we're on the same page for a second. Yeah, so and just so you understand the nature of fatness geometrically. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee.

Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee.

Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee. to brag, but working in the casket business, you become a bit of a geometry expert. And I don't know if you guys heard the spatial dimensions are length.

Wait for it. Also with and depth. Did I say with and depth? Yes. Yes, I did. But we also needed beyond just him talking about it. We needed to see the boy hop into casket. And not just the load, but at one point he was like, it's sandwiched in between two old people.

Yes. That was one of the creepy things. We were gonna have to get three some with two old people. And I'm like, who the are we watching? All right, guys, now let's all close the casket lid for a moment. All right. Well, grab that cord of coffee and we are ready. The guys going like, and some people are so fat, you know, you know, you're going to All right, well grab that corticopy and we are ready The guys going like and some people are so fat you can't even get them into the cremation of it I'm like why the fuck are you talking about like just melting fat? It like it could blow up the place and whatever and so what movie are we watching?

Well, it's what I said to myself about 20 fucking times during watching the movie. No shit. Well, and then at this point, just to remind you that this is absolutely stream of consciousness, they're like, and with all this cross country travel, we had to stop to see Granny. See, that's what he's doing. Nice hug in his grandma. All right, moving on. Now we've got some orders of uncooked baby carrots.

This is a fever dream. This is not a movie. He happened to have his, you know, VHS recorder from the 90s. Like, yeah. Yes, because uncooked baby carrots. Oh, the segway's insane. It's like, yeah, we're going to stop a grandmas. And then they tell us that Garrett's mom died in a freak accident. And I was sure I was sure it's going

to be like fluoride mercury, monstant, really like, yeah, right. You know, you have corn, like the size of piano fell on his mom's head or something. And then it's like speaking of dead moms, baby carrots are magical. Right out. I remembered right after that. Hey, remember the famous experiment about the carrots and the ores? Yeah, so we're comparing, we're using curly and photography to compare the ores of cooked versus uncooked baby carrots. Yes, yes, that is exactly. You're saying at home, you're like, no, they aren't, but they are. They are. We are. Because you can cook the or a right out of a carrot. You see, I like my food or a free. Well, it says, it's what this

means is that pasteurized food is dead. And I'm like, all the food I eat is dead. That's good. Yes. I'm okay with that. I don't know if I'm in a whole lot of here, but I'm like, okay, I might be being dead. It's okay. You know what's alive?

Plague. Plague is alive. Hey guys, like remember when there was a funeral for an almond? Yeah. Oh my God. Because that's a way that is why I let you of fun. Natalie didn't just have a stroke. There is right now a funeral for an almond.

What happens if it goes? Because, well, you've seen the aura of uncooked and cooked baby carrots. You're probably wondering what the aura of an apple chunk looks like, too. I wasn't sure. And then he's like, and my son felt so bad about these auras that he had a funeral for an almond, you know, like regular, regular sane people sometimes do. I mean, this is when you call the mental health provider and say, I think my kid needs to come in because he didn that for a month. Yeah, for a month.

And it was like sloppy fat, the almond. It was like ridiculous. Like, yeah, the almond coffin was super expensive. The tap of it. Yeah. Okay. His feet were missing. His diabetics.

That's too much cigarette. Um, all right. And then some dude cuts into say, we were talking about the aura photography thing, right? And this guy cuts into say, and I quote, curly photography thing, right? And this guy cuts into say, and I quote, Curly and photography is the iridology of the future. Iridology is the bullshit. So does this as you can diagnose people's health, their specs of color in their eyes. We are literally saying at this point, focus, focus is the abracadabra of ala kazama.

So he said this bullshit is the bullshit of the future. Right. Nothing is the erudology of the future. That's not something you, you know, aspire to. Yes. No. And by, we should point, okay. So we mentioned, uh, Garrett's notes at the beginning that had the food or ideology and the other thing science proof, you know, all that. So as we're going through, we see him going back to that and crossing it off, right? When we talk about food or radiation, he crosses that off and all. But after that, after the Curly and Photography Ours of the Carrots thing,

we see him cross off the science proof part of his list. Did it shot my produce with lightning? Check the oras science crossed it. Yeah. Tom Monsanto gets ya. They said. On the oras out here seeds. That's it.

They want all the oras. That's what they're after. Jesus fucking phrase. All right. Now we are an hour plus into this movie. It's this movie is all been about the Gerson therapy ostensibly. So now it's time to tell you what the Gerson therapy actually is. Right. I get to talk a while. Talk a while to get here. Yeah. Because we've been teasing butt coffee for a while now. Imagine if you you had to wait dislong for the butt coffee jokes people. All right, so here's the steps.

This is the whole thing. Vegan diet, organic fruits and veggies, no animal fat. I already said vegan. Right? No salt. That's horribly stupid. And plenty of coffee up your ass. And I like how would they talk about it?

He's like coffee. Ah, yes. Coffee. Like, you're so, like, you're the analisatus. Oh my god. Like, it was super creepy. He was like wanting to like fuck the coffee. But he's like, no, I'm not.

I'm not. So it's, uh, uh, He was clearly climaxing to a coffee animal while he said, man, it was coffee. All right. And I want to point because this is an interesting little factoid to throw in here. At one point, he's like, Dr. Kersen's book had 50 accounts of people he cured from cancer. And I want to point out that the NCI actually looked into this, they dismissed all 50 of the claims as being insufficiently documented. Most often, there was no evidence the person ever had cancer. Yeah. Gerson just like guessed that 50 people were cancer. Yes. And then he sprayed coffee

in their ass. Then he guessed they wereandering. That's the fucking study. Yeah, that's it. But they didn't publish that in time magazine, though. No, well, you, or people, or people, or highlights. You know what, highlights definitely has a, a, a dearth of ass coffee stories. Oh, and if they had the differences between the pictures of two people getting the ass coffee, a goof is in Galant know they eat their coffee animals

You know, there's goof is laying on his left side what an asshole Yeah, that's a detail by the way Yeah, I don't know if you guys are doing coffee animals out there, but don't fucking know if you guys are doing coffee animals out there, but don't fucking lay on your left side like a fucking amateur. You need to be on the right side of your body. Left, left the coffee animals don't work. They don't get into the kidneys or whatever you see. Okay. Yeah. So and also I want to point this out because like there's an unspoken thing at least up until this moment throughout this whole movie where the one guy goes like the cancer industry is just about money and drugs. And I just, I have to think when I see

this kind of stuff, like, can you even imagine having that low of an opinion of your species that there are literally just millions of people willing to kill their friends and family with cancer for money? Yeah, that there is a population of people that think that everybody in the world is evil and had to get you, but I don't get it. That's terrifying. Also, by the way, Walt Disney would have totally been on their side if he was alive. I don't know why. But why not? You don't want to. Really? Really? We're beyond why. He agreed with Hitler on a lot of stuff. We keep doing this. Confusing every time we use Hitler now.

All right, and now it's time for some hot, uncensored, pancreas talk. Right, this is the part where he goes, as you can see by the cartoon that my kid made. Oh, I would, can you imagine that being, like this is my credible stuff I want to talk about, the cartoon my get made. Yeah.

Yeah. Yep. And there's some horrible drawings, but this one is one of my favorites. He's drawn a human and an animal that's like a carnivore animal and then a human, which is not supposed to be a carnivore. And there's, they're digesting and the human's longer. And it's just like, sorry for all the technical jargon prepared with me.

As you can see, humans and carnivores have the same circle area. That's a human's have a longer too. Oh, much longer. And obviously science. Yeah, so we also see the pancreas trying to fight off all of the toxins and whatnot. He's with the switch blade.

He can also do that. And so the one guy goes like, well, so, okay, so why show of coffee in your ass? And the guy goes, well, it makes your butt drain work better when you put the caffeine. And then the lady, the lady, the lady, she goes also the potassium. You want to have a lot of that in your ass too. He's like, right, the potassium. in, she goes, also the potassium, you wanna have a lot of that? And you're asked, too. He's like, you're right, the potassium. I was so confused until she said potassium. It was, because it has, right in the word.

It sounded crazy. So what are you doing? You just shove the beans right up in there? There's a nice whole process for this. There's a recipe. There's a recipe. I mean, the movie does give the recipe for any viewers that are like, I, I clearly need

to kiss in my life. With cartoon visual aids. All right. So a thing that happened in the real world at one point, a thing which we have proof of having happened in the real world is that this kid's dad walked up to him and what point and said, all right, for your next assignment, I want you to draw a stick figure getting an animal. And the kids like, sure, yep. That's normal. Yep.

I mean, when you think how many conversations this father and son have about putting coffee just like it's not normal for the 15 year old to wonder what happens to fat people when they die. This is not normal. I mean, I've been funding conversation to maybe though, like, okay, you gave me a theory here. Maybe this is just like, the kid is always trying to get his dad to stop talking about coffee animals.

And he has to just keep coming up with increasingly weird shit that might get his dad off that subject. What happens to fat people when they die dad anything Anything called the opiapthias I'll show it The lion's coffin is here But yeah, so they but they do they've been giving giving the recipe and it has to be a court because Like a court of luck is not a liquid. You don't want to have acid.

You don't want to have acid. You want a court acid. Yeah. And then also a couple of other details. This is important. The coffee has to be fine ground. Hey, why? What if it's if it's too bitter, your ass doesn't enjoy the notes of the flavor of the

cornflavor. It's not like what you're making a fravor. It's not. Really? And you have to lay down on your right side. Right side. Yeah. And then you just lay with it in you for a while.

Yeah, you get. I think like 10 to 12 minutes. Yeah. They're all cooked. And then he would. And also here's an unfortunate sentence choice here for you, right? So he's explaining how you do the coffee, and then he's like, and then you go and you, you poop it back out.

And then the next sentence was, but in order for the boy to be truly impacted, you're used to wearing impacted. You really want to use that exact. All right. So now what about degassing in an elevator? What if you disinfect in an elevator with six other people and they're trapped? All right. Set that up.

Put what the kids like. All right. Well, can't you just fucking drink the coffee and seen. Yeah, right. All right. So now we've run out of crazy people in America. So we go to a whole other fucking country to find some. We go to Mexico for the saddest fucking thing I've ever seen.

This was depressing. Yeah. This was a really hard watch, right? Because like again, through most of this movie, it's easy to just sort of laugh along until they start interviewing this woman from New Zealand, who is dying of cancer and has been convinced that she's been cured. And she says inside myself, I feel different 100% better. In the end, she feels different. She feels better.

And yes, this is where because I was watching this movie and texting with my podcast co-host because he obviously hates himself as much as we do because he watched it along with me. So Chad Haynes shout out to you for being the real people of my life. That this is where it was like, oh fuck, this is where you realize this bullshit kills people. And not only that, and yes, right. They charge people to kill them. Oh, yeah, horrible. It was, it was so fucking hard to watch.

And like, I just have to throw this out too. Doctors don't assign you a time to live, right? Like they have everybody coming into this thing. This is a doctor gave me three hours and 16 minutes to live. That's not how it works. But yeah, it's so, so if the doctor gave you six months to live in your seven, still live seven months later, it's not because to coffee up your ass is working. Yeah. Honestly, the only thing about this scene that was redeeming is they, they, they,

they go to Mexico and they like show the border patrol for a second. And I was just picturing them getting a cavity search and just showering customs. So that was a fun visual for me. But other than that, it's a good, super depressing scene. All right. So now we interview one of the heartless quacks that works at this quack clinic. Now, and keep in mind, that's why we're in Mexico, right? Because you couldn't open this place in America, right? Like we, as bad as we are, we wouldn't let you have this much heartless quackery in your clinic. Now, that's why you have to, you have to go to another country for this stuff. So yeah, America, we're doing something, one thing, maybe sort of right. Yeah, right. Right. Exactly. As long as we only have to compare ourselves

to Mexico, we're good. We're crushing it. We're not. Somebody's doing the coffee animals. It's a wall. All right. So and now just to make sure that you understand how little effort we're making not to be full of shit, when they interview this quack doctor about the cancer-curing coffee animals, he goes, so what do you see in the first few days? Not what do you see after five years, right? Which is how if you were curing cancer, you would measure these things, but rather,

what do you see in the first and the doctors? Like, you know what, when I shove coffee and people's asses, they are so much more energetic. But he's so mad too, the doctors, the guys like, okay, so doctor, like, right away, how's that, how's that ass coffee working out? And he's like, okay, all right. I do love it. You asked me about anything else, I really, I feel like I push back pretty hard about

the coffee ass thing and stupid experiment. You guys like vegetarians are healthy. Can we talk about that? that is actually a true thing. Oh, I just want to point out like just for those who don't have the same kind of medical expertise as myself, I want to point out that it doesn't matter what you shove in my ass, right? As long as it fits, I'm more energetic now. Okay. Noted. No, illusions.

That's not matter. What I have, I have extensive testing here. I have, yeah, a lot of, a lot of control. Morgan, you got that. You got that cut out already. That little out of context area. Perfect. All right.

And then we travel even further into Mexico to meet a girl with even more cancer. I think I feel like dad was trying to add a love interest here, right? He was, he was, because you know what? He wasn't really sure what kind of movie this was going to be when he had the. Or he's like, do we want an animal sidekick? Then now he's like, I want a love interest. Who knows? Right. Can I go on either one? And that's what it was really. It was a love triangle between Garrett, Lupita and the orphan moose at this point.

But I'll get really one. I'll be so. Yeah. I'm Charlotte Gerson. Yeah, Charlotte Gerson, exactly. At a time machine. Yeah. And this is where the narrator dad

starts adding a Mexican accent. Yes. His English entirely English words. It's super racist, right? Who's this like her name? He's Lupita. It's not even said like that. It's Lupita. Just calm the fuck down. All right. And they talk about how lucky all the people in Mexico are to have way less food than us. And you know, I always always that's my thing. That's why I'm so jealous of Mexico is for their lack of food

surpluses. And yeah, they show us all the organic vegetables that it's easy to get in Mexico. They look terrible. They're all right. Shitty and rotting and like, pancreatic cancer coming out of the carrots like better than my my better than carrot or radioactive carrots. Well, that did you know, but did you notice how we didn't even look at the or as of these vegetables? They're hiding something. Y'all. She's proof of the conspiracy.

Yeah, right. All right. So now we're going to go to San Diego. That's where the Gerson Institute is. They have extensive case files there. By the way, for anyone to see, but you have to really believe in them to see them apparently. Like, look at all those magic eye pictures or something.

You're right. Just to look at the evidence. All right. So, yeah. Now, the dude here at the Gerson Institute, he also unconsored himself with fertile, unfertilized tomatoes and a lack of pesticides. He's like, I have all the medical records right here. And then the movie shows you like the titles of the pages he has.

Yeah, he's like, here's the certificate of authenticity of me having no more cancer that you have. I don't know if you guys know. Here's a picture of me and the cancer with today's newspaper. Here's a picture of me by myself the next day is proven. Sure. Yeah. They also had the bit where the lady cuts in and says the gerson therapy cured my fibromyalgia.

Oh, yeah. I was like, I know this was cancer, but I guess we're. No, it also. I went to Ber we're, I know this was cancer, but I guess we're, I'd also, I'm a tuberculosis and more gallons disease. Yeah, this tiger repellent cured by St. Louis Blues, too, lady. So, oh, but then we get to video of the woman who had not just any cancer, but super cancer. Yeah, super cancer.

She was like, nobody was thinking she would live. No, no, the doctor gave her literally minutes to live. He's like, by the time I've done with his sentence, really, too late. You're dead actually now, according to you have super duper extraordinoma, stage infinity. Stage, stage almost. Stage, almost, stage, countably infinity. All right. so, all right, yeah, she's the only person that ever survived her diagnosis and just look at how dead she isn't. Yeah. Okay.

Proof. This is proof. Come on. This is proof. She is so not dead of cancer, y'all. You would not believe how not dead of cancer is, ladies. So they go to the Mayo Clinic, right? She's like, the Dodgers at the Mayo Clinic said, I had cancer. And the

narrators like, well, then obviously she's pretty easy for us to get the records of the Mayo Clinic saying you didn't have cancer, huh? Yeah. And the narrator asks, he's like, well, you go to the top ranked hospital in the country and have them make a public statement that they almost murdered you. Which again, no problem. I got it. Yeah. I love the audacity of these people to think they can go to a con agro. They can go to mom's anto. They can go to the male clinic and just people just want to come out and shout with them and make a statement on when their video camera is being pointed in their face and

Garrett there was with his headphones on like, give me a statement. No. That's not what it works. Yeah. And they say that they show her walking in and then they show her walking right back out empty and they're like, the doctor really wanted to say that you could cure cancer by putting coffee in your ass on camera, but the Mayo Clinic wouldn't let them, you know, they are proof for the conspiracy.

So I started a picket line to block people from going to the male clinic. Started a chance as coffee. I think all the fucking cops are me. Do you believe this shit? Yeah, right. I was blocking people from going into the hospital and they called the cops. Racism. Okay. And now we hear from other people who had cancer.

None of whom are dead now. And this is where we get the scientific proof remix. Remember? I want some scientific, scientific, scientific, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop. Yeah, they give you like flashback to Garrett doing his independent research. He's reading the magazines.

I thought they were gonna like pan over and there's just like a, a Monsanto ninja lurking behind and shit, but it's right. So stupid. like pan over and there's just like a a monstros ninja lurking behind. And then we also we see this other guys crazy documentary, right? He cuts in and he's like, but I'm not the only crazy person with a camera. Look. Here's more of me. Yeah. Here's the guy saying the ACS is where the American Cancer Society is worth billions of dollars

and secretly loves cancer. Yep. They claim that the American Cancer Society is the wealthiest nonprofit in the world. Yeah. That would be the Catholic Church. Right. That's the Catholic Church. Right.

Yeah. Right. The American Cancer Society's not even on the list. And fuck you, movie, like the American Cancer Society funded research that saved my dad's life several times. Yeah, right, right. Fuck yourself. Yeah, exactly.

That's the other thing too, like all of the harm that's done of this movie, you know, even just one fewer contribution to the American Cancer Society, that'd be enough harm to make this a deadly movie. Yes, if that and if somebody who was actually sick with cancer saw this movie, I'm decided to say, well, fuck go into my regular doctor, I'm gonna drink some juice. Yeah, this is cheaper. Actually, I'm thinking maybe I should ask my dad, maybe he was splashing a lot of coffee around his ass. That's what it was.

Yeah, that's true. We don't know, or his throat, where your lungs are. So maybe that's it. You, if you have lung cancer, yeah, you can just mash the beef and neck. So, and also, can we point out that like something or another has to be the wealthiest non-profit in the world, right? That doesn't make them evil. Right.

They just have the most money. Like, but also fact check, like fact check your shit, maybe a tiny tiny bit, but again, they don't have Google, but that's a simple thing. Like, what is the wealthiest nonprofit? You can find that out, you can find that out without saying the wrong thing. Come on.

Well, in the Gates Foundation, as it turns out, yeah, right. There you go. All right. So now it's time to meet Juice Man because Altman has the worst superheroes. Jay Courtec, the juice man. Yeah, the urinary bladder cancer. It's what you said.

Urinary bladder. Yeah, he had urinary bladder cancer, whatever. And what's amazing here is we have this old man talking about a urinary infection he once had. And then we switched between that and Garrett, who is absolutely fascinated by this man's urinary infection. There's big in my leg was juice man. The only time Garrett's pan any attention is like, oh really?

So what you cure with carrots? What do you think? What do you think they'd put you in if you'd died of that urinary infection? You think just siphoned up for the coffin. Yeah, right. I feel like you could put him in. So yeah, so the Garrett learns to juice from the master and I wanted him like, you know, have

to have to pull the orange right out of his palm or something like that. You know, I want it like a whole training montage or whatever. He's running up steps drinking the fucking juice. Yeah. He hands Garrett the car. He starts shoving it up his ass. I feel like, actually, you know what? Let's talk about this.

Let's get out of this. Hold on. Maybe you're on something. I think you're super cancel. The whole festival is up your butt. So, and by the way, Jay Cordic, the Juice Man is crazy looking. Oh my God, those eyebrows. He's like a live action anime character.

Like, he's like, he's like super saying Charlton has all the time. Yeah. So he teaches him how to make juice and I swear to you, I'm pretty sure he sold him a juice machine while he was there because he had to take that back to Alaska because he juices something later. Yeah, right. We fucking juice. Yeah.

That's how good that motherfucker is. All right, so now, blissfully everything starts to wind down. His assignment is over. And oh, by the way, by the way, there is hope. Yeah. Yeah, he wrote that as notes. Is there hope?

Then he writes yes later. And he wrote it, yes, and sharpie. So he put that permanently. Right. That's exactly. Exactly. With a bullet. Should it? Yes. So bullet point. Yes. So yes. Also, we see some like he's like, you know, and if anybody will drink juice, we can save the world. Just a picture of polar bears.

I do. What? Did they drink juice? I don't. They could. If Garrett delivers it. Eric, they're like rides a wolf over to some polar bear. Yeah, right. This is when the wolf starts to slow down. He puts more coffee in its ass. Yeah. All right.

Oh, also I have to point this out. Okay, because this is where they get home after all of their trip around the world and everything. And oh my god, their home is such a shit hole. Oh, it's rough. You know, I don't mean to pour shame. That's Eli's thing. I don't want to step on his toes while he's not here. But like, how could you live in a place like that and think you've got it all figured out? Oh, yeah. They're getting all that like oil money from the state. They live in a one family refugee camp.

It looks like a shantytown, except it's just one. Yes, which is weird. So it's just plucked it like they lived in a shantytown in fucking Bogota, and they like picked up their shantyt and put it on a truck and drove it to Alaska. Oh my God. Which is a weird choice. So, oh, and then we have to watch Garrett play that guitar chord. He knows.

Oh, is this when he's with John? So, so bad. Yeah, yeah. And the characters. And the characters did not make his legs grow back. Oh, that would have been the great if he gives him the carrot juice and the legs to stump start growing back. And he's like, oh, shit.

It's just a prop. You fucking moron. I just said, it's it. All right. So, yeah. So they play. And by the way, we should point out, because they got this kid and he's just very clearly playing the same cord and moving it up and down the front board a little bit.

And then the guy, the legless guy's like, oh, you know what? I'll play my harmonica along with you. But the kid's not good enough. It gets hard to keep going after that so you just have to stop well the guy play something completely unrelated on the harmonica just a little moment for the musicians out there that drove me nuts uh... but also but in in addition to bringing carrots used to date he also put

scientific proof to neighbor bob uh... Antiffic proof to neighbor Bob No, but Bob still did not buy the coffee animal part Okay, I have to share a personal story I'm sitting in the office today and I'm getting ready for this episode and I hear he's doing that upstairs And he's doing it for so long that I have to walk up and I'm like okay I have to know and it for like nine minutes, he's trying to tell me where he is in this film.

It's right here. Ha ha ha. He explains the. Yeah, go ahead. He's telling us about it. That's my copy. It's our scoffie and I'm afraid from saying that the entire time.

Ha ha ha. Yeah, right now. Ha ha ha. I've been holding it. Oh my God. It's so good. He explains. Hold it again. That's good.

He explains the coffee, Edema, to the neighbor Bob and his wife. And it is the greatest moment in a movie. Like they show Bob and his wife trying to like internalize this 15 year old child explaining to the coffee enemies and they're just like, is this a fucking sex crime? Are we gonna allow to listen to this? They're like immediately walk next door and start doing a Megan's lost speech in the next house over.

We are really sorry. Like some kids do like community service for the elderly by like shoveling their snow. Yeah, right, but this is fucking hell. Like this fucking weird ass town that they're living in. The look on Bob's face at this point in the movie is one of the like it was the exact same look I'd had on my face the entire fucking movie. Oh, oh, so good. And then, and then the narrator comes in and he goes, someday you will die.

That's the logical ending for this movie is for me to go on about your mortality for an insanely long time as I hope that one of these sentences will sound like a good one to end. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, that was just really fucking weird. Just out of nowhere. He's like, also, you're going to die. Think about that a lot. What kind of coffin will you use?

Are you fat? All right. So, and then, okay, so the movie's over basically at this point, but they have that weird little candle thing at the end, right, where they have some narration, but they don't know how to just put letters up on the screen. So they had to, like, I did some PowerPoint slides, but for my first time, I'm not the computer. Yeah, by typing them out and setting them next to candles, bullet point, the end.

Oh, yeah. But, but the thing they had to tell us with this weird candle thing was about that time that Gerson's bitch secretary stole his cancer cure and gave it to Arthur slugworth. Pretty good, right? Yes. He had a slug worth at his life. And they accused, they feel like they accused his secretary of poisoning with him with arsenic twice. Yes. There is arsenic poisoning involved. Is that really? Yes.

And it was like all the Jews, even though he's Jewish. Yes. And it was a conspiracy. It's crazy. All right. Well, one thing that these documentaries always remind me is that these idiots will believe anything. So to wrap up tonight, I want to ask both of you, when you lose all your morals and start

selling pseudoscience to lunatics, what will your therapy that Curex cancer be? So Natalie, what will be the Neuyl therapy? All right, so it's kind of a multi-step process, I think. So you're going to do either a blood test or do a Bluetooth thumbprint scan just to get your personalized body makeup. Then you get a personalized diet of shakes and then essential oils to do whatever you do with essential oils like rub on you or sniff. I don't really know. But it's all liquid, but you also have a, you have a monthly master cleanse with maybe

some turmeric in it too. That's saying the cayenne pepper and lemon juice and whatever maple syrup, but you put it up your button instead. And so it's like, I want to make I will fund your fucking movie if we can get just one alt medicine person to put lemon juice and cayenne pepper up there. So yeah. So if you're miserable, you know, it's working. That's the new way.

Yeah. Right. Feel the burn. Oh my God. The fucked up thing is there is absolutely nothing in there that you couldn't legitimately sell, right? You know that someone's doing that right now. Like it's 10.30 at night.

Someone's like up Friday night. I gotta put that, maybe say blah, blah, blah. So yeah, I can do this. This is my life goal to make this happen. So I'm selling my soul. 100% serious, that's something they sell on Goop already is the coffee animal bum. They do.

Oh yeah, pretty sure that we did a story. It's over $100. Yeah. I haven't bought it. I've just seen it. Yeah, a friend of mine told me all about it. So what would be the, the end right therapy? Okay.

I got to answer. So first of all, I'm thinking we try out a coffee suppository. Okay. Like you grind up the beans and you wrap them in a filter and you just brew it right up at 986. You know, they got cold brew and hybrid. There's a warm brew. Like a medium warm brew. But

even better, I actually right now have a can of red bull in my ass and I'm 100% cancer bitch. So I'm just coffee. So I just liquids. Don't sleep on the other stuff to put in your ass. Really explore that science. Lay out your right side and the data. Yeah, that's it. Lay on the right side. You're all set to go. Absolutely. All right. Well, Natalie, I can't thank you enough for hanging out with us tonight. It's been an absolute blast. If people want to both see your documentary and hear your podcast, where can they go? Sciencemomstuck.com for the documentary and parent-thetical science is the podcast.. So yeah, I talk a lot less about butt stuff on that, but it's been a blogger. But it's, but it's still good stuff despite

that. And of course, we'll have both of those listed on the show notes for this week's episode. And while that does it for our review of a beautiful truth, that's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need to prepare you for Eli's return. So heath, tell us what's on deck. Oh, it's a good one. The moment after it's David AR white. And it's about the rapture. I watched the trailer. And I'm pretty sure it's just a giant mashup of every movie we've done on the show. It's everything. All those are just smashed into one movie. It's David AR white in the rapture. Meet again. All right. David our white.

So with that to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 142 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to Natalie Newell for hanging out with us tonight. Check the show notes for more her and of course, an even huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com. So I got awful and thereby earn early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help us don't believe in this five store review on iTunes and by showing the show in

your all your various social media platforms. If you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our siblings shows, the skating a the citation needed in the skeptic crowd available on iTunes Stitcher and wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions, comments or cinematic suggestions, you can email got awful movies to Gmail.com. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the law offices of P Andrew Toyas. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnik of Evil Giraffes on Mars. All our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnik of evil giraffes on Mars all of the music was written and performed by our audience and your Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen right knee libos

Nick. I'm no illusions promise to work hard to earn another chunk next week until then we'll leave you with a breakfast club glow. Bording to this movie, the healthiest person in the world, Eli Boss. Interesting. Interesting. The narrator accidentally got his ass coffee from the Starbucks by Pastor Manning's place and turned gay. Brand of brown. We're in a grand, grand, grand. Yeah. All right. So we're Illuminati agents and and and Natalie's the boss of the boss. You're the head of Illuminatus, okay?

Yeah. Or at least the next wrong above your assistant to the regional management. Yeah. I'm the I'm the do I shrewt of the Illuminati. So here we go. Oh my God, we need to make that an ongoing schedule. The Dwight Shrewd of the 119 needs to be in every one of the three. Absolutely. Absolutely.

If you don't mind, you've been hired. I'm hired. I'm hired. This movie is so unlamp-putable. I get to the end of the skin. It's impossible. I'm just like, what else can I possibly fucking write? I'm writing the script. I keep typing the script. This is in the script the script me saying I'm typing the script is in this This is insane. I'm getting stranger than fiction to buy this script. Yeah, right.

All right, be honest, be honest. It's just us here. You guys want Garrett to die of cancer, right? The preceding podcast was a production of puzzle and a thunderstorm LLC copyright 2018. All rights reserved. on Garrett to die of cancer, right? Oh, God. Oh, God. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC, Copyright 2018. All rights reserved.