God Awful Movies - 168: The Trump Prophecy

Episode Date: November 6, 2018

This week, the guys team up for an atheist review of "The Trump Prophecy", the story of a mentally ill person being exploited by a college of imaginary education. --- For more details about Vulgarity for Charity, click here: https://scathingatheist.com/2018/11/01/vulgarity-for-charity-2018/ --- If you’d like to pick up a copy of our latest ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

So now we cut to him check it with his doctor about that demon attack, right? He's like, hey doc, I was attacked by a demon. He's like, have you heard of if you heard of the PTSD? I'm not this doctor because he's the only real doctor that this guy will see through the movie and he's like, look, I don't want to label you. So I'm just gonna spin my finger by my ear I don't wanna label you. So, I'm just gonna spin my finger by my ear, for the sake of you. Does he? He comes sort of waving it in a circle

next to my template. Now I'm pointing at you. Now I'm doing the same. Yeah. Yeah. God awful. Movie. Movie.

Movie. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be at left is my good friend Heath. And right, Heath, welcome back. Thanks Noah. So you know who everyone should have voted for in the 2016 general election. You monsters. What they're fixing it today. They're fixing it right now. They're standing in a line. Listen to the show while they're waiting to vote and sitting nine order miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? Fantastic Noah. Flept in.

Nothing to do today. I'm hanging out around the house. People all around the church across the street. I don't know. Maybe they're having an activity or something, but it is a normal day. Let me tell you, normal. Yes, because we're recording on Saturday, damn it. Okay.

So tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched the Trump prophecy. Oh, God. It's the story of a guy who predicts that Donald Trump will become president using the magic of Christianity. So basically, it's the story of a kid who prays for his mom to stop having cancer, except with every detail turned evil and tragic. Instead of a kid, it's an adult with severe mental illness. Instead of cancer, it's brown people, gay people,

and trans people. And instead of his mom getting cured, it's the entire country being run by people. And instead of his mom getting cured, it's the entire country being run by neo-nazi with the nuclear button. It's the doomsday clock being right twice a day. And do you lie? How bad was this movie? Oh, this is a tough one. Okay. Well, if you have a mental illness, but the people around your will and the humor it because one of your delusions matches up with their instantaneous abandon of their so-called principles, you are Mark Taylor. You're Mark Taylor and I love this movie. Yeah, I bet you like it. It's one settles for the kukus nest.

Yeah. All right. Yeah. No, let's, let's point that out right up front. It's based on a true story of crazy people Insaning at a very high level and it's surprisingly unapologetic about that. Oh, it is downright honest. Downright. Oh, it's like the people who made the movie think exploiting a mentally ill person is okay. As long as you're up front about it, right? I cannot tell a lie. I cut down the cherry tree because it's full of demons.

And we should also point out by the way, those people who are exploiting the mentally ill person, those people would be Liberty University, a college signed their name to this movie and as much just just keep telling yourself that as we go. What do we say college? We like college is a strong word. Nicely, I think it counts. His university illegally protected term. I just think champagne.

It fucking should be. It should be a northeast thing only. Trump, Trump university, I rest my case. Also, according to multiple reports, by the way, a lot of the people who worked on this movie camera operators, set decorators, etc. We're actually students, film students at Liberty University. Many of them, according to multiple reports, who did not want to work on this film.

They like forced children to work on this movie for college credit. And you can tell based on some of the extras in the background. So the extras of this movie might as well be holding up help sign. All right. So is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Yeah, I'm going to go with best worst demon confrontation. So this movie has a literal fire demon. We'll get to him. And the main character will have a confrontation with this demon in his bedroom

multiple times actually. And they'll just glare at each other mostly. And in their final fight, the protagonist will hand the demon a strongly worded letter basically. Yeah. If you love the way that heroin's tell heroes in romantic comedies, they love them. You little did you know that's the way you can fight a team and yes, draws a heart around it. All right, so I took the easy one here. I was the first to write mine in. I had best worst

doctor. Oh, and we've done facts. Yes. Right. You could be talking about several doctors in this movie. There's at least three contenders. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Just suffice to say the first doctor that this that Mark Taylor went to told him, no, no, no, no, you have PTSD. The second doctor, not so much.

Nope. Hey, we should get a second opinion from a doctor from a crazy person. Oh, okay. Yeah, absolutely. And they're experts in me being crazy. All right. I'm going to go with best worst perspective, but let me explain this one. I could not imagine what it was like to find out that Donald Trump won the election and be happy

about it. This is like watching people who were rooting for Hitler, yep, during World War II, except less relatable. This movie, it's a bizarre perspective in like, oh, that's what it was like to be happy about this thing happening. It was insane. Yeah, right. And it turns out that what it was like to be happy about that was to be diagnosably insane. Yeah, mentally

ill. Yes. All right. The same point in my life, I was just, I was just hearing ringing for like a month and nothing else. So just in this numb, floaty ringing sads that it's, oh, yeah, the other send us pink cupcakes. And now we're going to relive it. So okay, yeah, we've been, let's say, looking forward to this one for a long time. So we're going to keep the break brief and we come back. We'll dive into all the untreated mental illnesses that are the Trump prophecy. I wouldn't even give you some garlic bread. Okay, that was good, but meaner.

I mean, Heath, what are you talking about? That's like the meanest thing you could say to somebody. Hey, Carl, hey Heath, what are you guys up to? Oh, just getting ready for vulgarity for charity. Oh, you mean our annual? Kind of annual, shut up, Carl. Our annual charity drive where people can donate money for us to roast the person of their choice.

Right, but it's not just for us. Tom, Cecil, and a whole bunch of guest roasters are going to be joining us too. Like me, it's melodically a Trump. And me, Sarah, I can be Sanders. And friends from the Atheist community. And all they got to do is donate money to modestneeds.org before November 21st. That's right, Carl. Every donation above $50 is guaranteed a roast for the person of your choosing. So just send us a picture, some info and proof of your donation to

vulgarity for charity at gmail.com. And you'll get to hear a burn so bad. Mark Taylor will have nightmares about it. Oh, he, but what if I don't got 50 bucks? We'll just give what you can. And you'll be entered into a drawing to win a roast anyway. I don't got 50 bucks? We'll just give what you can and you'll be entered into a drawing to win a roast anyway. But don't wait, we're doing these in order. Awesome. Okay, now try it again, Moombartime. Okay, you look like Garlic Bread

that got left in the Garlic Bread oven too long. Oh, okay, maybe move away from Garlic Bread. Absolutely not. Explore something new. Don't say Garlic Bread. Garlic Bread, don't. Floor something new. Don't say garlic bread. Garlic bread. Don't. Garlic bread.

Stop. And we're back for the breakdown. And we're going to start off with five of the least believable words in all of Christian movie dumb based on a true story. Oh. Yeah. Is it really true? Hint. Heath's best worst was demon confrontation.

Little hint. All right, so then we get the credits. The first two minutes of this movie is literally just one of those fireplace videos you play on Christmas morning with words over it, right? Yeah, and we're getting some of that ridiculous music along with the fire. Like according to the music, this fire just learned a very important lesson, like in the sitcom that it was in. It was like, I'm fire and crackle crackle burning crackle is wrong. Crackle crackle is wrong. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr.

Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr.

Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr.

Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. vote. Spirit of God, tell me, I have chosen this man for such a time as this, for as Benjamin Nett and Yahoo, B to Israel. So shall this man be to the United States of America? Illegal. Let's hope not. I did. Yeah, can I agree with Mark Taylor at the beginning of that one? That's terrifying. It's. Weird pick for your big thesis analogy in your movie. He's going to be the yasser arifat of America. He's the Mussolini of America.

Great at trains. What? There's some other stuff. I didn't read the whole book. Yeah. All right. So then we cut to a lady doing heroin and catching a There's some other stuff. I didn't read the whole book. Yeah. All right. So then we cut to a lady doing heroin and catching a apartment on fire.

I mean, she's doing, she might as well be making the heroin in the castguired skillet. It will be on it. Yeah. What were the logistics of the heroin taking in the movie's mind? I'm pretty sure the movie thinks heroin's basically soup that you make one spoon at a time. And then you just drink it. She just swallowed it.

I wouldn't have been surprised. With a straw. And then she just drinks the spoon with a straw one spoon at a time. And that appears to be what happened. She was vape it for some reason. Now she was-basing. I'm sad to admit that I'm the only one who knew exactly what was going on there,

but no, she was free-basing some. Turn over to our resident heroin expert. No, it wasn't heroin, actually. It was probably better. It was actually a pretty good free-basing rig. You're gonna be like, capital of that. She's making it in a chemx,

she's doing a poor overhead. There we go. 203 degrees. Go on. Burn the heroin. Exactly. 203. Correct.

Oh, right. So though, there's a big fire. So we have to cut to some firemen at a firehouse, waging up to the alarm. It's time to beat back Satan's jizz and boys. Okay. I don't want to be this guy. I know there's a lot to make fun of about this movie. But it's just me or does it seem like lots of firemaning is just putting on those outfits. I'm not saying I have a solution, but is there a system by which someone is always stressed

like a fireman? Maybe we rotate them around. We're there just always seems like a lot of time is spent getting in and out of those outfits. That's just me. Maybe it's just me. Yeah. I'm sure some of our fighter fighter listeners would love to love to write in and tell you how wrong you're going to repeat it. How many babies you killed slowly putting on those goddamn pants as whole firefighters. Thank you. Like says, Ely Bosnick. What if you gain some, like you have a nice vacation, you come back and you're like, oh, this is a little tight. Like how long do you got to go

and be like a 36, you got a 36 and Carol's like, let me check. And she sort of walks back to the back. I'm wondering if this comes up for you. Tweet at me. See, he's right. This is why we need privatized fire departments. It's more efficient. I love the fact that Eli just said you gained some weight. What are you with? 36? They just Eli and his little dream world right there.

All right. So anyway, and then we get this weird scene with them that they're getting up. They're suiting up and driving out to the fire. But then we spend some time with the fire chief walking around and the first, he hears about Hurricane Katrina on the radio for some reason. And to place this in time, I guess he also goes into the fireman's like sleeping area. Yeah, the dorm. Yeah.

They all have matching bedspreads. Again, I cannot emphasize enough how little I know about these heroic workers in city and state. Do you have matching bedspreads? Okay. Well, I really hope you do because those were adorable. That's where delightful. That room full of them. Ah, maybe so happy. It's, it's a little like learning that the Marines all have to wear standard issue footy pajamas. It doesn't make you less. Row it.

I'm just, there's no that it breaks the image slightly. Slightly. Yeah. But the point of this scene though is that the fire chief has to find Mark Taylor's Bible on the floor, right? Because Mark Taylor is so Christian that he falls asleep every night with a Bible on his chest, right? We see that it's an engraved Bible that his grandpa gave him.

Yeah. And his grandfather knows how to use capital letters about as well as the president of the United States. Spoilers for the North Sea. Spoilers for the North Sea. Capitalization of every noun for every. All right. So now the fireman show up at the fire. It has time to man some fire because they're fireman. Dammit. Now there's a weird mix of graphics here, right? Because clearly

they did set a house on fire at least partially for some parts of this, but then there's also these Vulture of horror moments too like absolutely this I am 100% certain some liberty you kids just burn down one of their house for this project You're sure I can't get you boys anything else while you think up your movie? Thanks mom, we're good. Okay, just tell her if you need something, okay? Thanks mom, got it. Your mom is the best. No, your mom is the best.

She will, Eccles. Whoa, dude. Language. Oh, sorry, sorry. Yeah. So, all right, what are we going gonna do about the big fiery house scene? Yeah, well gosh, seriously, dude. Oh, sorry, sorry.

I was thinking maybe my little sisters could run around the house with some construction paper, like red construction paper and they could go click, click, click, click, no, no, no, no, no, come on, bro, it's not just going to be in like theaters, plural, technically, we got to do this right. Gonna amp it up. No, you're right. You're right. Okay.

Um, you have a pretty nice house, don't you? Uh, I mean, sure, yeah, it's pretty nice. Okay, so yeah, why don't we just burn down this house? It will look great. Oh, uh, I don't know. All right, let me check with mom. Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, yeah, huh? Yeah, huh? You need more blondie, bite square, pop a circle? No, no, thanks. We're good. Not that we were wondering if we could burn down the house for our movie, this house. If we could burn down the house for our movie, this house,

you want to burn down the house for your movie. Yes, ma'am. Well, okay, but be careful. We will. We will. I will let you know when to get out and everything. Oh, no, boys. I'm going to be standing inside the house for the fire. My life is basically self-imposed slavery, you know. So I welcome death like a first lover. Ah, gee, mom, you always say that. Well, it's always true. All right. Have fun making your movie, boys. Let me know if you need more fudge brownie cake cookie things. Two moms the best. Your mom is. All right. So there are the fear. However, so they're in the fair. However, they got there.

You're almost the best. There's a kid's bedroom. Oh, no. So Mark has to find the kid. Yeah. And by the way, while they're going through these houses, a lot more announcing of weird details from the fireman than I expected. It was just like, okay, walking along the East Hallway, nice fridge. It's got the water and ice cubes on the outside. That's

cool. I'm going to keep walking. This is me still walking. Did I mention how many inches wide the hose is? I did not. Okay, just check. It's like an inch and three quarters. It's like one and three quarters, something like that. Also, this is a deep, deep cut, but one of the scenes of the fireman inside the house is them using the blanket drag thing that Mark Taylor invented. And it's obviously supposed to be a plug, but it's also super obvious that it's a bad idea because they like drop the person in the blanket, just fire and then they like folds under their hand. They're like, gosh, it's so stupid.

I mean, great. This is great. We did it. Also, quite again, I don't know anything about fireman, John. Do the firemen just go in and start walking around? I thought they spread as they went people in it, I think there's probably a guy whose job it is to go in there and get the people or I hope so. But I would also hope it's not a person who honestly believes as he's walking around

the house looking for the kids that the fire grows at him because it's of Satan. Right. That happens. Like the fire grows at him and then he looks at the grow. Like is that demon? This is demon. I wanted him to call it in so badly. All right. Sorry. Demon next to the friend. Don't need to tell you what element it's from.

It's a fire demon. They were firemen. So yeah. So they he finds the little girl. He takes the little girl outside. They get all the the way outside and she's like, right, also my little brother is in the house. It's the best. It's like me going to the bathroom on a road trip. Everyone's back in the car, buckled in, the music starts. I have to poop again. I mean, my little butt is inside. I wanted him to yell it or seriously, you waited until we got all bitch. I'm going to sit bitch. All right. So yeah. So Mark walks back in to try to find the little

brother that's still in there. And he eventually does, but the kid is too late. The kids all burned up. Yeah. The kid was just like standing there watching the fire. Is that what a pair of fire apparently? Yeah. And then he does this whole bit where he picks up the dead kid and he walks, they just must be this like dramatic walking out with the dead kid moment, but he keeps walking for way too long. Yeah. Very slowly walking that little boy's dead body to the pet cemetery. Yeah, no, I had it. My nose just isn't like, are you going to wander off until you find a good place to bury your buddy? And then he does that like showy ass walk with the dead kid right past all the other firemen like a soul train line just like, oh, look who didn't stay inside long enough to get this kid. Now he's dead. I thought he was going to start walking

backwards down the line again and then just like going back past him a second like Brian the dead kid right on his hands. She drops it. Oops, dropped my dead kid. Slowly Ben. Oh, that is he's coming right apart. He's coming right, give me it. We're just pushing back together. Oh, it's like barbecue.

It's like good barbecue. I want it so badly for one of the firemen to be like, hey, Mark, where are you going with that dead kid, buddy? All right. So then we had back down to the station or as Eli's written it in his notes, back at the fire base, fire junction, and then very excitedly firehouse. I took me four minutes to remember the word firehouse. Fun fact, you can't just Google where do firemen go? The response is, did you mean a fire?

And so him and his friend are getting, you know, like, I don't know, coming down off the fire. And his friend says of all fucking things today of all days, why did it have to be a kid? Yeah. He would have been fine. Which days are better for a child standing still while he burns to death like a monk doing a protest? That's fucking weird.

Wednesdays. He would have been fine with an old man. I don't I didn't understand the purpose of that line. Yeah, or this character really will see it one more time as though he's going to be a recurring character, but not really. All right. So now we watch the fireman sleep some more. And I only put this scene out because, okay, so he's laying there with his Bible,

covering him because he always falls asleep with his Bible. But and he's supposed to be having a bad dream, but it gives you every reason to think that he's just hating himself for the fact that he's jerking off under his Bible. It's amazing. That's exactly what it plays like. Like if you were filming him doing that, it would look indistinguishable. Yeah, you can use the shot. Those pages are super thin too.

They get a lot stick together at once. That's, that's, that's,. That's looks up a whole section. Lose all of Genesis. Yeah. All right. And that was time to meet Mark's wife. They're talking about, you know, will they have enough money for him to retire? You know, we're checking off the money problems bit of the Christian movie bingo card. It's going to eat two muffins for breakfast like a straight up monster.

Okay. I also had two muffins for breakfast. Right next to each other. After dessert. Why I don't know why you would deserve. I mean, his wife should have left the paper on giving the option, but whatever. All right. So now we want to use a paper.

Some people I've learned also eat the paper, not just me. No, that's not true. But whatever. All right. So now we want to use a paper. Some people I've learned also eat the paper, not just me. No, that's not true. Just you. Yes, absolutely. I got tweets back. People eat the paper. People treat a lot of things.

You don't lose. There's a cup a little bit of the residue of the chocolate chip. If it's chocolate chip, often I'm just saying. So I let it go. Let it go. I already fiber. Okay. So now it's time to clean up the boat.

And boy, you know you've lived an exciting life when the movie about your life includes that time you cleaned up your boat. Oh boy. That's it. That's a boat. If ever I saw one, what is that? A 93 footer? No.

Three footer. Good old one. No. I'm going to leave you guys through the boat talk. You found a range. You found a ball. Yeah, it is a rock and boat though. It's just all like weirdly like dust, like white dust, like the boat looks like it has

a crack problem. It's like weirdly coated over in white, outer dust residue. Yeah. And so by the way, in case him telling his wife, I think I'm going to clean up that boat today, followed by a scene of him taking a tarp off of a dirty boat. Wasn't enough for you. He also literally says time to clean up our boat in the scene. So but okay. Now, this is where we basically get his superhero origin story.

Right? So apparently this older man who is his dad or his grandpa, it's not clear, took a, took a blonde boy with shoulder length hair fishing. Does, does this character know that his hair isn't blonde? Yeah, he looks like his make-o-ish was a blonde wig in a life jacket. Right on a really sad boat. Yeah. Yeah, then there's this moment where he finds Gramps's hat and I'm like, oh my God, is this scene just here as the origin story of the shitty hat he wears?

Yes, I realized watching this movie that there must actually be a day where shitty dudes start wearing their shitty dude hat. Yes. There is a first day where it guys like monster energy. I'd like monster energy. Think I'll put this on and only take it off when I'm under arrest. I think I'll put this on and only take it off when I'm under arrest. Yeah. So he puts on this sad hat.

And then do I have this right, a toolbox or a tackle box just drops out of the sky that maybe a demon dropped on him from a tree. Well, it's very, it's very clearly a demon because we go to demon cam behind him. Right. Right. Right. Right before this happens, he sees or hears a demon or at least we see it. Yeah.

And demon, demon cam. So yeah, he thinks his superhero moment is when he like put on a magical trucker hat and a demon dropped tackle box on his head. That was his, his origin story. And at this point, you're just dying to figure out what kind of superhero he becomes from that, right? Or what story Mark Taylor told someone that this is what the movie came out with? Yeah. Yeah. Firefighter profit, I believe is the name of the superhero. Yeah. Right. He cried himself in real crazy. In real life. In real life.

All right. So now we cut to him, check it with his doctor about that demon attack, right? He's like, Hey, Doc, I was attacked by a demon. He's like, have you heard of, have you heard of the PTSD? I'm not this doctor because he's the only real doctor that this guy will see through the movie. And he's like, look, I don't want to label you. So I'm just going to spin my finger by my ear. I'm sort of waving it in a circle next to my temple.

No, I'm pointing at you. No, I'm doing the same thing. Right. Did any prescribes him some pills, some SSRIs, right? Yeah. And Mark Taylor is like, Hey, man, like, can't you just exercise the demon? I don't like pit medicine pills. Doc's like, Oh, your plan doesn't cover the exorcisms. Yeah. Do the pills. Well, and the doctor says, I'm going to try y try on some pills and he goes like pills, what

kind of pills? And it's like, you don't even know yet. You're already pissed. He could be saying Tylenol. Anyway, okay. So now he's going to go tell his boss he's going to retire and he does it with this is the exchange, right? The boss goes, are you thinking of retiring?

To which Mark Taylor says, if I said I wasn't, I'd be lying. Then yes. Just talk normal. There's a what syllable version of what you said. It's yes. And again, the hero of this movie is like, I mean, I'm gonna take all the vacation I built up paid and then I'm gonna retire. Now you say congratulations.

Right, and the boss is like, yeah, okay. Happy holidays. Really? He does. He says, happy holiday. Really want to be like, you mean Merry Christmas. Slap. Happy holidays.

Fuck. Yeah. You. You Muslim. This is why I'm retiring. As soon as I'm done being paid for sitting at home for fouras. All right. This is why he's doing as soon as I'm done being paid for sitting at home for four months. All right. So now he's working on the boat some more, but this time the music is upbeat.

There's no demons attacking him here. You can tell. I'm also going to see his, the boat has a Reagan Bush 84 sticker on it. As if to say, I come from a long line of people bad at making decisions. Oh, Reagan Bush 84. Yeah. One of the, uh, one of the biggest landslides ever until 2016 actually. All right. So now he's having nightmares again. And again, they are indistinguishable from him just sadly beating off under the covers. But his wife is seeing him have a nightmare this time, but she's Christian. So she thinks he's dreaming about running

and chasing a ball. Look at him go. Look at him go. Yeah. So he wakes up at 4 30 in the morning and he's got to write down his nightmares, right? He's keeping a journal of his crazy, like saying people to this was a kind of a sad moment too. He's like, he's writing down like, this pen is real. This pen is real. These dreams are not real. This demon, I'm real. It is real. Super said. Well, you could tell that the demon was real because right as he wrote that the papers blew away just like they would if a demon breathed on them. What?

Yeah. Demons should just organize papers sometimes to fuck with people. It's always blowing them off. Play more impressive. Stack them up, staple it. I don't know. Demons, if you want to get one on Noah, miss spell check, some of his work, he'll be He's always blowing them off. Way more impressive. Stack them up, staple it. I don't know. Demons, if you want to get one on Noah, miss Spellcheck, some of his work, he'll be

at it for an hour and a half. Just said, who's Eli? He wouldn't take me an hour and a half. Okay. So the next, Alex, your notes, yes, that would take me an hour and a half. You could just turn on Spellcheck and do it yourself. It's all right. Also, so okay.

So the next morning, his wife wakes him up and we have to, we have the whole scene where we see that he's just sleeping all day now that he's retired and has PTSD. They could have a DSM five next to him on screen checking boxes for post-traumatic stress disorder. Yep. Again, keep in mind that the moral of this movie is that he does not have PTSD. He is a profit receiving revelation from the spirit of God. Yep. Yeah, exactly. All right. So the next night he has more fire dreams wakes up and he and he writes him down. And he's like, he's being visited in his dreams

by the half-burned death kid from before. There's also this amazing moment where he looks and he's supposed to be seeing the dead kid but he accidentally looks directly into camera. So my notes here were just, oh god, he could see me. Hi Mark Taylor, please take your medication. You're just suffering from illness right now. It's like a broken arm mark. You're gonna get bad.

Oh no, he's okay. Oh. Yeah, so as he's looking at this half bird, a little boy, I so wanted him to go, wait a minute. Little boys don't burn that hot and start a blog. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, wait a minute, little boys don't burn that hot and start a blog. He didn't. Oh, also he starts wondering aloud why God would let a child burn to death. They will not make any effort at answering that question in this movie. They will not. We will hear a lot about free market economics, not so much about why God burned that child to death.

And then of course, at the end of this, he says to his wife, I'm not taking those pills. I just wrote in my note, yeah, man, it seems like you're crushing it the way it's going. No, really, you try anything else. Yeah. It's some demon fights, and I'll be fine. Right. Yeah. Okay. So, and that's the thing. That's what we're being presented. Either he's a prophet of God, imbued with second sight, or the medical doctor was correct. Yep, that's the conflict that we're supposed to be having

as we watch it, okay. So, oh, then we get this amazing, sadly visiting the firehouse montage. He might as well shitting his hand and throw it at the window. Well, okay, so the whole thing here is that they're trying to make this montage last long enough to fit the song that they're going to use, right? But they don't have enough things for him to do. And the song is so weird too. It's so on the nose. It's just like this song about a lot of the movie. Not this is real. It's about movie this real. Herse might watch this fireman name mark 10.

So Martin Schmale. All right. So yeah. So, but they have him like, you know, fondly looking at his fire hat. At one point, he just started spinning around the things that are on the fire truck. Like he's basically looking at the cameras like you really want more. I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I can sit on the front of the fire truck now. He sits on the front of the fire truck and I wanted him to get run over by accident so bad. Fuck! What do you do? You don't fuck here anymore, man. You can't just show up and hang out, buddy.

Come on, man. He also spends a good, like, 10 minutes just wrestling around with a helmet and like, staring at it and kinda, I think having an argument, like a verbal argument with it? I absolutely thought he was gonna have a messy messy fight with his fire helmet just like, no, we can't poison all the salad in the Wendy's. So if I missed her, how many?

You, your solution is always to poison. So we're pick. I want to see what other firefighter stuff that he was, you know, like yelling at before they landed on it. Just like a Dalmatian beaten the shit out of Mark Taylor for a while. He's swinging a hose around. He just hits himself in the face. Cut, cut, all right. All right. All right. I try out your pole dancing moves. You're good at the pole dancing. You're pole dancing moves. You're good at the pole dancing. Yeah. But eventually after a good two and a half, three minutes, his sad fireman montage comes to an end. I wanted

to ban over the rest of the firemen are just standing there watching. Dude, what the fuck are you doing? Get out of the way. Walk over, turn off his boom box. Dude, you're on vacation. Get out of here. We have to move the truck. All right. So then him and his wife have to have the, are you sure about retiring conversation? Right. Where she asks if he's preyed about it. And he's not sure he knows how to pray. Yep. Yeah. Again, we've seen this a lot in our movies, but his wife is like, hey, you have mental illness. You want to try real hard to talk to someone invisible?

Yeah, it's pretty easy. So, you know, you know, talking, it's like talking, but you, the mentally ill person, you get to be both people. Oh, yes, it's fun. It's just like when you sit alone in the dark in the middle of the night and yell at yourself, you got this. So I do this. This is good reinforcement of your behavior.

And okay. And then we cut immediately from the wife and him to him and his buddy having that, are you sure about retiring conversation? Oh my, and this, this scene only has one purpose which is this character goes, Oh, we totally would have thrown you a party. We want to know that you're retiring. Yes. Oh, man, this this celebration fuck off Mark. It's about another fireman who works here. His name's Mark tin. Also shot gun locker. You could just go ahead and move your stuff so I can make it clear that I shot gun locker. We're gonna miss you, man. Dibs. No, but I'm in right now. Like you're walking away,

but I'd like you to clear it out. It would be great. So, cool. And then, by the way, then after the wife and the friend him and his boss are going to have the are you sure about retiring conversation? We are 30 minutes into this movie now. It's the bad he turns the boss and he's like, um, I have crippling PTSD. And his boss is like, gay. All right. Yeah, that was a weird moment. I was really hoping he was going to like hand in a badge and a water gun to the chief. And be like, I'm out of here. All right. So now they're going to have him and his wife are going to have some fun, retired time together. Guitar guy at the parties there. So they'll get another montage. It's amazing. They're tossing a frisbee,

they're fishing. Does Mark Taylor know that you're supposed to fuck your wife? This is just a montage of things you do when you don't know you're supposed to fuck your wife. Oh, by the way, and you glazed over this, but the frisbee, the playing frisbee is just given to us as a series of one shots. Oh, they could not get a single throw in catcher with me in the same shot. They're like throwing it end over end over their head each other to tie it to a rock and throw in the rock. Nothing's working out with this.

We got a little parachute on it at one point. What is this, man? What is this for? All right. So yes, but they have some happy time. He packs away some more of his firemanship. We have had four scenes now of him packing away his fireman stuff. He's putting away his certificates of completion, which is framed like their degrees.

Yes, exactly. All right. And then it is time for more him having nightmares. And oh, this is the one where, so we should point out that the CGI in this movie is not good, but it's not Christian movie bad. Yeah. I don't know how they got somewhat like someone's got a Christian cousin at DreamWorks. Something happened.

No, they've got fucking liberty use students that have to do this for a grade. But the thing is, is that the CGI is good, but the ideas are stupid. So like, we have a pretty cool looking fiery demon, but he's crab walking real slow across the ceiling and it's hilarious. This is the best. So yeah, Taylor, he like, he's in the middle of his nightmare and whatever. And he slowly floats out of his own body out of his. And then we look up at the ceiling and then CGI. And the ceiling is crawling away so slowly though.

They had to make Mark Taylor's body also float up there super slow because their CGI wasn't fleet of foot, I guess. So it's the dumb, super slow thing for no reason. It's the best. Obviously got someone to do like the thing where you put on a suit and then you do the CGI on top, but they got like me or Heath to do the crab. Yeah. Oh, my shoulder.

I got his crap. I got crap. Hold on. I got a stop and eat a muffin with a paper. I got a stop and eat the vomit in muffin paper now. A lot of it. I had many of the, I just ate some papers actually. So people threw out some papers. I didn't know the muffin would have taken too long to make. All right. So yeah. So he has this, he confronts the demon here. Now this is not the main

demon confrontation, but there's a bit where him and the demon are like face to face for the, I guess, preview. Oh, yeah, the staring contest. Yeah. It's the best. And the demon during the staring contest, like yells at him, kind of, he like mouths some words at Martiller. Martiller has no comeback. He just like keeps staring. Like the actor was like, I'm not yelling at this green rectangle. I feel weird.

All right. So the next morning, he's going to tell his wife about his dreams. And by extension, tell us about his dreams. I'm not saying I want a fuck Mark Taylor. I'm saying he owes me one. And I'm saying that we haven't seen this couple of fucking. I mean not saying I want a fuck Mark Taylor. I'm saying he owes me one. And I'm saying that we haven't seen this couple of fucking, I mean, I'll assume they fuck, but just this once. Okay. And also she has the weirdest fucking questions about his dream, right? He's like, yeah, I dreamt and there was a demon and everything. She's like, what time was it when you dreamed that? What? Right. And he's like, I was like one 30 and it wasn't a dream. It was real. She's like, no, you were sleeping at one 30. You were sleeping. So he thought this was a real

floating up to a demon host. He was quite certain. Oh my fuck. Okay. Wow. I didn't realize that's how mentally ill he was. Yeah. And that's how there's an And that's how she debunked it for him. She was like, trust me, I would have noticed if I rolled over and you would left your body. Yeah. The old beast demon was spider walking across the season. I would have noticed that kind of stuff. Trust me.

This is also where he says, I saw everything at my work and I wrote my notes. Did you? Does it think you just saw like fire stuff? I don't know. Firemen shit, right? Well, I mean, everything that burns, I've seen wood, paper, fabric. That's a long list. That's a long list.

You did say wood. You did say wood. Also, this was the moment where the wife suddenly says to him, she's like, you know, as of today, after this demon meeting that you had, your voice sounds quote, more resonant and authoritative. You've been reading some Edith Skinner, bro. But you sound fantastic. And for those of you who are confused why this movie has multiple moments where it's like, wow, Mark Taylor, your voice is amazing. Do me a little favor, go on the YouTube's and look up Mark Taylor, listen to him speak.

That's why they made a movie about his voice sounding good because that's what his voice sounds like. And you know what, if my voice sounded like that, I would also include in the movie that I don't sound like a dying pigeon. But he's like, oh, thank you. You mean my voice that sounds more old man, river, a duck. Okay. Lacks.

But this is also where he's like, you know, I'm sick and tired of that doctor telling me that I have PTSD and she's like, let's go to an imaginary doctor, right? So he goes to see a different doctor at this point. And this doctor gets quotes around the word doctor every time we see him. Yeah. One big reason his office is in the lobby of a gaysha house. There's no other way to describe that room. And he has gotten his test results back and he has the hormones of a 70 year old. What?

Worst superpower ever. Yeah, so this doctor says, I want to help you, Mark. I want to help you heal physically, mentally, and spiritually. Okay, okay. I needed Mark Taylor to be like, ah, you know what, I'm gonna need you to say a doctor word now? It's prayer and indoctr, no, say another,

don't say prayer or doctor. Prayer or don't fake. So yeah, now, yeah, the doctor prescribes to him. God's grace. This movie is like literally an unintentional advertisement for the secular therapy project. Yeah, I'm gonna prescribe you one Lord and Savior. Yeah.

Also, we should point out the reason he prescribes him Jesus is because he's like, well, in your other doctor said you had PTSD and he's like, yes, but you have to understand that I'm I'm not a pussy. So I That's that sounds science. I mean, that's true. The day course that I took on doctoring quote unquote told me that exact thing. So yeah, let's Let's try praying to an invisible wizard, huh? A doctor walks in hey, uh, who the fuck are you get out of my office? Right All right, so now we get a bit home and we can see that things are still bad because he's veging out in a dirty t shirt and falling asleep in front of the TV.

I mean, I'm sorry. Did the preacher prescribe staying up all night watching TV like he's because that's okay. Okay. This movie's getting way too preachy at this point. It doesn't even make sense. Like I don't even understand what they're trying to say at this point. He's got a nice chair. He's watching football in his nice chair. What a at 321 AM. He's living a life. He's T T voted and he's got panaceous stuff gone. There's implications.

But then of course we have to fucking have more fire nightmares because seeing this 16 times couldn't be enough, right? Is the one with the demon is strangling him and his bed? Oh, yeah. This is great. I want it so badly when he wakes up for his wife to be like, Hey, maybe we head back to a doctor who didn't prescribe the blood of the lamb. And by the way, this scene where he's trying to strangle him, the demon is trying to strangle him in his bed, leads to my favorite part of the credits, which is that they have credit for the right demon hand and the left demon hand. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. It's in the credits. Yeah. There was a real argument about who got to be the demon hands for the scene. You get to be one. Yes. And by the way, he's getting dragged by apparently two different people playing to the same demon hands.

And the hands are dragging him like through the mattress away. And his wife is yelling help like he was actually being dragged into the netherworld by demons. Okay, that one I saw, that one I saw, that was not a dream. It's right. It feels like this was Mark Taylor just scolding that actress being like, no, it's real. You would see it too. If you woke up during the demon assault. That's you mean nightmare. Demon is what? And then we get the scene where she's praying for God to help him instead of actually trying that medication. The real doctor told him to take. She says, dear Lord, and I just said, please be talking to a VA nurse named Lord Des.

So, and maybe while you're praying, you know, pray for the child burn victim to heal. Like, we ask God to stop letting kids die in house fires or, well, I mean, no house fires at all. Maybe that. What's her going to run the 50 meters with if not a burned dead child. Come on. It's true. Make. All right. But so, but then he has a happy dream, right? The ball of light dream. Yeah. He's a ball of light and it punches him in the dick, but in a good way, though, in a happy way.

I'm pretty sure this is the inspiration for the entire movie. Marta is like, so you know, when you're about to have a fist fight with a glowing orb and it shoots you in the dick with a lightning bolt and your PTSD is cured forever. You were at Liberty University, so yes, yes, I did. Yes, we make the check out to mark Taylor I'm done with my elevator pitch. I have one for mark 10. Taylor. Ah, that guy. Am I right? All right, so I should, I want to point out at this point, we are 45 minutes into the goddamn movie, but he's researching the Bible to figure out what the what the ball lightning thing was all about.

Yep, and I mean, to be fair, the Bible absolutely is on Mark Taylor's side. He's like, am I crazy or am I being touched by God? And the Bible's like, well, this entire book was written by crazy people who thought they were touched by God. So spoiler alert, you're doing it. Yeah. No, no, glowing orb was God. I just, uh, hold on. I mean, I'm pretty sure. Let me check the Bible. Uh, you're right here in the index under or comment glowing. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. But okay. But then the big turn in the film, this is the inciting incident again, more than 45 minutes into the film.

He's going to have a PTSD dream, but it's going to happen when he's asleep in front of the TV that Trump's on talking about maybe running for president in 2012. He is literally living out the this is fine meme. Oh yeah, because his hair catches on fire in the dream. Yes Yes So yeah, and this is I guess when he gets the Trump prophecy where God tells him the thing from before about how God is Trump is gonna be just as good for us as Benny Natsys for Israel. Right. Again, the movie will go on to explain this, but the prophecy, Mark Taylor's entire career and this movie is based on is, no, you got to believe me.

Four years ago, I totes McGoads had a dream that President Trump was going to run for President. And everyone around him was like, I mean, who makes up a diary? Am I right? Yeah. And I wrote President Trump. And I put it inside this sealed envelope and sent it to nobody. Well, but that's the thing. That's the dumbest possible origin, right? But and they can't even manage to pull that off and even then they have to admit in their

movie, but yeah, but he was diagnosed as mentally ill and he was watching Donald Trump on the TV. So had he been watching deal or no deal. This would be a very different thing. He was sitting in front of the TV like if his wife flips over to MSNBC before he goes to sleep, it's a liberal prophecy. Like, if it's home shopping network, this is the slap-chop prophecy. President Rachel Manau. So, all right. So he goes to like, oh, that sounds good. All right.

So he goes back to the pretend Christian doctor. And he's like, hey, man, I've been having these crazy dreams of the doctors like, fuck, yeah, sure, why not? And okay, I have one question about this scene with the doctor when the doctor's like, hey, just FYI, I'm referring you to another doctor. I'm closing down my practice. No reason, don't worry about it. Not because I finger-f fuck people's buttholes while they were asleep.

Anyways, there'll be a new doctor in this movie now. Goodbye. Yeah. Something has to have happened that that got translated to this moment in the movie, right? Like I couldn't Google the right amount of things, but I'm going to find out that doctor like killed his wife with a hammer and then wore a cat suit to the middle of the mace, right? Yeah. Well, regardless, he will not be as bad as the doctor were about to meet. No.

No, yeah. No, he refers him to Don Colbert, who will be the co-author of his book. Yeah. By the way, Don Colbert, if you're not familiar, is the real person technically a doctor? Still, I think he gets to use the word doctor. Yep. Also an evil monster to be clear. He wrote, among other things, the seven pillars of health, let food be your medicine. I mean, that's important nutrition.

Okay. That being said, next one, Dr. Colbert's keto zone diet. So that's the food he's talking about. Also, he wrote the Bible cure for blank series. That includes the Bible cure for cancer, the Bible cure for depression and anxiety, the Bible cure for allergies, the Bible cure for cancer, the Bible cure for depression and anxiety, the Bible cure for allergies, the Bible cure for PMS and mood swings cut it out and the Bible cure for weight loss and muscle gain and that last one literally recommends baskets of bread and fish like Jesus made. Really? Seriously, and watered down line. Yep.

Jesus, okay. Yeah, I didn't know any of that. All I knew is that when he goes to see this doctor, very, very prominently placed right behind the doctor, are these huge supplement bottles of something called keto zone. And I'm like, okay, yes. That's a red flag to get the fuck. Oh, and also there's a copy of his one of his books. The seven pillars of healing is also sitting there, prominently.

It might as well be stable to this doctor's face. Oh, this, I'm glad you asked. No. And the book, available in bookstores now. Wow. Here's a giant jug of keto friendly chalk pills in joy. Yeah. Yeah. And then he interprets Mark Taylor's dreams. Yeah.

And I, now, by the way, he will interpret them to being that Mark Taylor is a prophet sent by God. But I did really want him to just be like, oh no, our dreams tell us things. For instance, your dreams tell me that you have a mental illness. I made Dallas, Texas discount doctor Oz. So you're going to want to go to a real doctor. All right, you're a prescription for I'm not allowed to have one of these anymore because on the Charlotteson murders people with pseudoscience, that's for you.

There you go. So post it note. Yep, but no, instead he prescribes him to drink a lot of unfiltered water for his PTSD. Unfiltered, like, how does the filter matter? Yeah. Right? Like now I'm running for a demon to like put a bretta in there or give them an old unfiltered like how does the filter matter? Yeah, right. Like now I'm running for a demon to like put a bretta in there or give them an old bretta,

so I'm not fuck with the filtration situation on the water. But his wife's like, how are things going with your new doctor? He's like, I like this one a lot better than the one that tried to give me medicine. He just tells me what I want to hear. Yeah, he told you to drink water. I mean, shouldn't you be talking to God? No, no, he told me to do that too. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. All right. So then we got that we get them watching

2012 election coverage, right? Watching Mitt Romney lose because nobody would even take Trump seriously the 2012 primary because it was a publicity. He's like, in a snip. He's like, how did this happen? Trump never even really ran. It's like my diary isn't even magical. What the fuck? Am I, am I not magical? I thought I was mad.

No one is so funny. You're magical. You're magical, honey. Trump was never taken seriously. I wrote in my notes, I got news for you. He never will be. Right. All right. So now we're going to cut to three years later. And we dive into the year with Trump's golden elevator Mexicans are rapists announcement. Yeah. Now it's five

years later. So his journal is a blog. He has a printer and everything. Yeah, okay. This, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this And in case that's not enough for us, we see the words moving. There's a little graphic of the words moving from the page into the computer in a little stream. I just can't see anything. I love that so much. So yeah, so he takes the typed up prophecies to the keto doctor. Hey, check this out. I thought a game show host was going to be president five years doctor. Yeah. Hey, check this out. I thought a game show host was going to be president five years ago.

Cool, huh? Yeah. You'll need to sign a non disclosure agreement before you read this whole thing. I'm shopping around to make studios like, you know, Liberty University studios, but you can see it. Yeah, but the quote unquote doctor wants to show it to his wife, right? Yeah. To show it to my wife, she's like super good

with magical prophecy journals. That's like her thing. Yeah. Funny. Yes, I printed up a copy for you. I am just afraid of this question. Check if it's white magic or black magic. Really good with that right? When crazy people have journals. I'm just impressed.

She said yes. That would not go as well for us. Hey, baby. Hey. Oh, will you read Mark Taylor's dream journal? Mark Taylor's dream journal. God dammit. Is this for the show? Yes. A hack. Let me pack a bowl. Anna, Eli, for the last time I am not going to trick Cecil into a threesome. Okay. First of all, it's not that.

Second of all, we said if we were going to discuss that again, you would be more open minded about it. No. Will you read Mark Taylor's journal? Who's Mark Taylor? He's a Christian firefighter prophet. Nope. Okay. Why'd you cut over to me? You guys are jerks. I see what you're doing. Fuck you. There's three of us. That's right. That's super mean.

All right. So yeah, she's going to look over his crazy papers. And apparently, I don't know what the actress was going for, but what I got was the line about Betty Netanyahu gave her heartburn. Oh, what I got was she's reading when he wrote and then she stops because she can hear the music interrupting her scenes. Is that badly done background to music? That is really irritating. Hearing myself read in my head out loud. Why? This is my favorite part of me reading in my head. can feel like coming in the air tonight. All right, so then she goes back to tell Mark Taylor that not only is our as journals amazing, but they have quote the rhythm of truth. Really

thought they were going to break into a rap musical number. And I was really disappointed when they get a set right hand. I wanted to be like, Oh, cool. It does. What rhythm did you read it in in your head just so I know? Cause that's crazy what you said. Well, and also, okay. So again, we've established that no one knew about these journals until 2015, right?

He says he wrote them in 2011, but he didn't tell anybody about him and tell Trump to actually announce for president. But they're trying to make that into a big deal. But even if it is, I feel like it's important that we remind everybody that Trump always ran for president or talked about running for president because it was free publicity, right? He almost ran in 87, 99, 2003 and 2011. This is not like an out of the blue. How would anyone guess that he would run for president kind of thing, right? Like, fuck, by the movie zone admission, there was a news segment where Trump was talking about running for president on TV when he had this dream. Simpsons did it. Yeah. Yeah, it's exactly. Yeah. But his movie treats that like, you know what's crazy? How badly timed my prophecy is, right?

Right. In the world of this movie, God, our father, the blood of the lamb on high was just off by four years. Yeah, well, that's his rhythm, though. That's his true throeth rhythm is, it's a four year syncopation. So God was doing a prank on Mark. Guys like, no, check that. I'm going to give this guy a prophecy about Trump, but this is awesome. I'm going to give it to him four years early. He's going to watch Mitt Romney

lose first. It's going to drive him almost four years of the anti-grace, just to fuck with him. So it, okay. Yeah. And then the wife, the doctor's wife is like, I feel good about this. Should we all pray? And that's just there. So we get the scene where the actor playing Mark Taylor can't get his prey hands right. He just can't do it. I want him to get it wrong. Just heavenly father quieter, Mark. It's we do it quieter. Heavenly Father. Well, now that's too quiet. Heavenly. Yeah. All right.

So now he's going to have some more nightmares, but this time it's a light dream instead of a fire dream, which we actually see God like beaming prophecies into him. Oh, it's amazing. And then, of course, we have Heath's favorite part of the movie, how he defeats the demon. This is the best. So yeah, this is another one of those moments when he floats out of his own body.

And I love, first of all, that he has to swim away from this. Yes. So there's no reason for this. And the actor is just like making swimming motions. And it's so stupid looking. And you know, the director is like, dude, stop swimming. The physics aren't really a big issue. You look like a pug being held over water. We'll do the CGI ourselves so he, he swims out again to meet up with his evil demon in his bedroom. And he stares down the demon again. They have their little stair fight confrontation. And he prays, right? Like the first he swims

way and then he starts praying. And that's when he looks over and apparently this demon's just been chilling in the corner for this whole scene. Right. So he swims over the demon and he starts, he starts writing like just in a flat plane in the air in front of him. A note, he writes, no weapon formed against me. She'll prosper. I forget where it says that in the Bible, but you know, you know, this is like, how you vanquish a demon. And he's writing it, but the demons facing him. So it's coming up written like backwards to the demon. You can't even really see what's happening. It's just like, I fuck, just come around to my side. I'm writing like a mean note to

you. Also, it takes a super long time. He's like, no, we're at the end. But, over. But then when he finishes writing it out, the demon is thrusting against the wall and dies. So yes, in his based on a true story biopic, Mark Taylor just beat up a demon. That's what the college signed its name to. All right. Well, after all that demon fight next site, man, I guess we're going to need a quick break.

But first, let me give it a act for you, the hard sell here. Will this movie ever acknowledge awareness that it's just exploiting a man's mental illness? Will it manage to even remain a movie through the closing credits? Will this or any other movie, Liberty University ever produce, turn a profit? No one all three. So stick around for the rot got conclusion of the Trump prophecy. Hi, I'm president, Donald Trump. Star of this movie. Sir, I thought we were very clear that we were not going to lend

be in the movie. That's right. Princess Tiana over here was worried it would make me look bad. And quote, lend legitimacy to a mentally ill person who won't stop predicting the death and arrest of my political opponents. And quote, so you do remember it. But I'm here to talk about the thing that the nation is most concerned about when it comes to my administration. Hellos. No. 66% of men lose their hair by age 35. I wasn't one of them, but what are you going to do? Thing is, when you start to notice hair loss, it's too late. It's easy to keep your hair you have, then to replace the hair you've lost. Unless you're tearing it out and clumps while screaming, pretty sure that's just you, TIE Fighter. That's why we

recommend FloHims.com. Hims connects you with real doctors and medical grade solutions to treat your hair loss. They also have well-known generic equivalents to name brand prescriptions to help you keep your hair. But don't take this the wrong way, Mr. President, but given your history, is this some kind of scam or somehow a Nazi? Are you sure it's not for him, lers.com? Oh, I'm sure,adei I checked for him. Has prescription solutions backed by science?

Whatever that means plus products a ship directly to your door. Yeah, about that. So there are a lot of people who work here. So you'll maybe you specifically shouldn't just have it now. My listeners get a trial month of four hymns for just five dollars today. Right now while supplies last, see website for full details. This would cost hundreds if you went to the doctor of pharmacy, go to four hymns.com slash game.

That's F-O-R-H-I-M-S dot com slash cam. Well, it's much better than you usually do in spelling, sir. It is indeed four hymns.com slash cam. Oh, I gotta say, Mr. President, that's much better than you usually do and spelling, sir. It is indeed four hymns.com slash.gam. Oh, I gotta say, Mr. President, that's the first time in a while that you've just treated. Hi, I'll hit. There it is. Hey, dude, what's, what's the matter? Oh, hey, man, I'm just just having a rough time with the excellent education that we're getting here at Liberty University. Oh, sorry to hear that. How so? Well, you know the documentary I'm making for Professor David Barton? Yeah.

Well, I worked on it all afternoon and it's still only 30 minutes long. That's crazy. I'm making a movie for my film class with, you know, Professor Kirk Cameron, and it's only 45 minutes long. Wait a second dude. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Kill our son. I'm not going. Yes, wait. Sorry, what did you say?

I said, combine our movies. Yeah. Where I said, too. For Cameron is hot. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha really get serious about putting his PTSD waking dreams into action. But to do that, she's going to need her son's help. And her son's a fucking con man. Yeah. Well, it certainly being played as one.

Yeah. Um, but you know, but she calls him and she's like, honey, the voices in my head told me that you were going to help me with these crazy journals. What do you got? Oh, my mom does the Jewish version of this. Right, but I guess her son's like a pastor or something doing like a big pastor conference. Is that what we're supposed to be? Something I guess. Getting from this. So he's like, all right, so here's the plan. I want you to go to second Chronicles 714 in your Bible and read that back to me.

And it's just like, all right, well, you obviously know what it says. Just fucking finish your thought. That's not just, read it back to me. Fuck you. But the point is like apparently the message that you take from that passage is you should start a prayer chain. Yes. Right. They need some balls to the wall praying. Yeah. well, but not just people sitting in their homes praying, oh no, that won't do. We need to get modern technology together and do daily conference call prayers. Conference call. Look, I spend a lot of time on conference calls. I know how that's going to go.

Hey, this is Tyler. This is Alan. Hey, Alan. How's it going? Good. No, this is Dave. No, sorry, Dave, he was talking to me. I'm sorry, who's who's me?

Oh, sorry. This is Tyler and Alan, Dave. Okay. So why don't we? Why don't we? No, you go ahead. You go, you why don't we know you go ahead you go you go you guys know you go dear Lord dear Lord Jesus dear Lord Jesus oh sorry I thought you were talking to me nope I asked this can take forever dear Lord Jesus Dear Lord Jesus. Why can't it just work like a normal phone?

We were like a conversation would be great. Yeah. And also, okay, and this is going to be something of a theme of the next 10 minutes of this movie. The next, sorry, you go. So, no, but he's like, our father, okay. And the son is like, mom, don't forget, I don't like Trump very much. And she's like, yeah, it's the best moment. Just like quick thing, mom, um, don't Trump some monster. So there's that. And she's just like, yes. Yep. Correct.

Yes. So then we get to see where she goes in and she starts, like she does the, the caravan breaking my balls thing, trying to get preachers to join a prayer circle. Right. And at this point, I'm thinking to myself, oh my God, how are they not making fun of themselves, right? Because she's called, she's like, Hey, Pastor Bob, would you like to start a prayer chain for Trump? Pastor Bob?

Hello. Oh. And again, all of this is the movie's way of being like, I mean, a lot of people said that we were just obviously sacrificing, you know, two generations of what we claimed to be our ideals, but no, but seen. Yeah, exactly. She also calls, I think her other son who was playing basketball, right?

Yeah. I need you to pray for Donald Trump with your prayer group at your college. And he's like, all right, mom, is this because you read another prophecy from another PTSD patient? Dad is like, it's not the point. I need to just, what I first thing I said, just do the thing. Also, mom, when you found that picture of me on my knees surrounded by dudes at college, that it's not my prayer group.

I need you to stop calling it that. You're messing up my Google SEO. So yeah, but finally she does find one old lady, Billy. And she's like, Hey, you want to be in on my prayer chain? And she's like for who? And she's like for Donald Trump. And she's like, okay. Uh, but something I need to tell you about Donald Trump, right?

He grabbed my vagina. Okay, whatever. Let's do it. Let's do it. It's pretty. That sounds fun. Yeah. And again, the point of this montage is it must be a prophecy because they didn't even like Donald Trump. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Exactly. The whole point of this is that they didn't think it was the right thing to do. And it went against their moral judgment. But hey, when God tells you to do something, you know how God told Abraham to murder his son with a knife. Yeah, Donald Trump's like that. Trump's stabbing your son with a knife of politicians, but you know, we passed this

test. God be super proud. Yeah. Or we stabbed the entire country in the face and killed it. It's one of the other. It's one of the other. Certainly what are the other. It could be good.

All right. And now, okay, so I know you've been really concerned about the storyline regarding Mark Taylor's boat. Oh, thank God we're gonna wrap this up. I have just all my notes for every scene, what's happening with the boat? Well, we're not wrapping this up. I have just all my notes for every scene. What's happening with the boat? Well, he kind of saw the boat. We're not we're not wrapping it up yet. We're just moving it along. He puts the for sale sign on it. Okay, good. And then we get that insane fucking scene. This is the point the movie where I'm like, okay, this movie is indistinguishable from the movie that we would make to make fun of these people except

ours would be shorter, right? Because this is where we get the scene of insane prayer chain lady on the plane doing our prayer in the bathroom. Yeah, I call this white privilege, the scene. Yes. Excuse me. Oh, stewardess, I have to go talk to God. I'm going to go inside the bathroom, even though I'm not supposed to.

Don't come in no matter what you hear. I'll be screaming the Lord's name. Yeah. So much white privilege. Ma'am, you have to sit down. You're not, we're about to take off. You cannot do that. We're not going to take it.

She doesn't matter. This woman is doing whatever the fuck she wants with no cons. Like an Asian doctor gets dragged off right pastor. Guys, we don't have time for this. Just let her take a shit or whatever she's doing in there. Riffra screaming prayers at the top of her lungs. And that's the thing like we have this whole scene where the whole plane is laughing at her because they hear her screaming her

Trump prayers. And this is a scene, I guess, for this woman where she's like, yeah, they thought I was stupid then. Okay. If there's a Muslim guy in that bathroom asking Allah for help with a difficult shit, this plane gets new by their own. They fly this plane over Pennsylvania and shoot at the fuck down. We flew into your air to London and every time someone sneezed, man, he just tackled him. It was. Yeah. So he's seeking this all exactly. All right.

Now we're at prayer chain ladies office where she gets a very exciting prayer chain phone call of some sort. Uh oh. I thought it was going to be about getting her facelift reverse, but no, no. Oh, I liked her facelift. She's an attractive older woman. Mrs. Colbert. Anyway, but yeah, she's, she's, she's on the phone and she's like, she's talking about

like, yeah, I was all about Ted Cruz too, but then a, a delusional fireman with severe PTSD, showed me his diary. Um, and I read that I said, Netanyahu in my head with this super cool rhythm. So, uh, Donald Trump shows my God. Uh, yeah, I want a national campaign based on what I just said. Yeah. That's the new plot of this movie. I am now the protagonist, by the way, I've taken over. Really? Yeah. It's like she got in a fight. I am now the protagonist, by the way, I've taken over. Really? Yeah, it's like she got in a fight with Mark Taylor over who got it the most script pages. This is also where she presents her husband with the show far idea. The way they talk about a show far is fantastic.

She's like, honey, do you know what a show far is? Jew horn. All right. You didn't feel racist when you said it like that. I want you to do it. Here, do me a favor. Say the word Jewish. Just say it normal.

Just say Jewish. No, don't spend it one more time. Don't spend it Jewish. No, so regular. This is us. What if I whisper it? And also, so this is a whole montage of shots of her getting her national movement going or whatever, and it ends with a scene of her sitting alone in an office saying to herself,

man, I'm doing really well at this. Yep. And we learned that she's using the entire doctor's office for this stupid fucking campaign now. Yeah, like, like, like, they're like taking phone calls and everything and like, she's taking staff away from killing, you know, cancer patients with Bible cures don't work. So that's good,

but she's helping the Trump campaign. It's like fucking Sophie's choice here, like, which is like a semester long ethics course right here. All right, so now we cut back to Mark Taylor. He's watching Trump get his ass handed to him in the primary debate, right? Yeah, the Jews papers were sure Trump was gonna lose. Oh, God, and by the way, they can't afford to spin

the newspapers in like in Batman or whatever. So they just have somebody stacking them up one after the young. Yeah. Nor could they afford to write a fake article like any movie we ever see that tries to show a newspaper. They have fake articles and the details were amazing. They put effort into a couple things. The authors of the fake articles on the famous papers were Dwight Halpert, Jimathi Henson, and Bart Simpson. Really? And the photos were by John Google and Cameron Lenz. Oh, that's far. And everything was in Latin. Was it really? Everything was in Latin for no reason.

They had time to write Latin in, but they couldn't write English in. Yeah, it was Laura Mipsum. It comes in Latin, yeah. So it's because you know someone was like, you know, Laura Mipsum and he was like, God it. Laura.

Well, it wasn't Laura Mipsum. It was like just weird phrases in Latin that they like took a bunch of time to put it in. I didn't get the rights to Laura Mipsum. It was like just weird phrases in Latin that they like took a bunch of time to put it. I didn't get the right to Laura Mipsum. Also, we have this amazing moment where like prayer chain lady, she goes like, but wait, she turns to her husband, she goes, but wait, what if I'm wrong? And I'm like, you are. That is not a counterfactual.

We don't talk about what if I'm wrong, that's up our plan. I sell a biblical cure for cancer. We do not worry about what if we're wrong. We are so far beyond what if I'm wrong? Pascal would pray for all the candidates. So I guess maybe and just all the cancer cures, take everything. Yeah. And then we have this little scene

where he, prayer chain lady and Mark meet up and he's just like, yeah, I'm exercising and stuff now instead of sleeping all day because God is healing me now. Your voice sounds great. Your voice sounds great. I hear you're doing super well and not a mentally ill piece of shit who's like saying Hillary Clinton fucks babies

and that secret underground ninjas are going to attack people. You just just a great guy with a great voice. Yeah. clarity. And then we finally get the scene where he sells the boat. Now I assumed that at the end of this, his book was going to sell real well and he was going to buy back his boat or something, but no, this is the last we see of the boat.

And he's so trying to create a moment with the guy he's selling the boat to. He's like, a lot of memories with this lot of memories. And the guy's like, okay, just buying a boat man. Lots of memories in this tackle box. I don't even want the box. I don't want just to give me the bus. Oh give me the book so many memories walking away, man. I'm on the way. All right. Um, you said we should hang out sometimes, so I will be waiting by the phone for your call. See, I will not leave to go to the bathroom.

Ask me if, uh, if I can have this sweet fish hat with the hook on it. Ask me. Ask me if you can have it. Can I have this sweet fish hat with the hook on it ask me ask me if you can have it can I have this Seen like he had a mercy kill his dog all right, so now we're on a prayer call again except this time She brought a Jew for Jesus Mike Pence style to explain how the show far works. Oh, he's amazing. All right, time to explain to all of you. That symbolism of the chef. Yeah. And then we get, okay. So the thing about blowing a show far is that it sounds like a castrated voova zeal or whatever. Say, have to play real music over it. And then we see a bunch of people not playing the show. People are just deep-throating the ram. So

for you for putting it in their ear and pouring water in the other here. Oh, so many people are visibly hurting themselves. It's the best. Like every shot looks like it gets cut half a second before somebody chokes or passes out just like. And okay, the most amazing thing about this, they go Brady bunch style, right? They, they, like, it starts off as a series of people playing show, but then they, like, start to, like, collage it out, except they don't have anywhere near enough pictures to make the big collage they had in mind. No, fat guy in a green shirt is on there, like, five times.

It's fucking amazing. Every picture who's eating her own hair. Yes. And they kept it. Yes. Yes. She's like, boom, boom. It's the best. I love that so much. And by the way, that was the largest section of the credits was credits

all the people blowing the show. And they had a lot more credits than they had people blowing so far. So I can only imagine how bad the other folks did. Yeah, they did have one little girl who was clearly a trumpet player though. And she had like legit ombre shirt. She was doing it. All right. That's pretty sure jamming out on so what is pretty cool. All right. So now it's election night 2016 and the doc in his prayer chain wife are watching the results on CBN.

Oh, the lady on CBN, she's like, it's a tight race, but Hillary's winning clearly not enough show far prayers. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, man, if Hillary Clinton and one Mark Taylor would have gotten mental healthcare. Right. Just yet another reason you should have fucking voted for Hillary. Oh, and we also get, we

also get p-robes. P-robes. Yep. We get Pat Robertson and it's the best. He's trying to name a list of swing states. Yeah. It happens so slowly. He's trying to get through him as fast as he can, but you know, where his water clock face full of honey flips forward and he dies. But he's so goddamn slow. He's like the guy in the crosswalk of talking on TV. He's really there's a pant Slovenia. That's always tricky, not where vampires live. That was on me.

This is where his wife goes into the other room to say a prayer. She says, Lord, I don't really understand this. I just wrote in my notes. She could honestly mean anything. The cup she's holding the mail. I believe that she doesn't understand a miraculous amount of things. Sadoku's are difficult. That keep wanting to one to add. Each of the numbers sideways. I don't get this. So I meant, but so but Mark goes to bed early, right? He can't watch the election results.

So they go to bed not knowing if Trump won. So the next morning, his wife turns on the TV and it's P-robes celebrating Trump's win. Oh, she rising to give Mark the, uh, good news. And we hear Trump saying that part about binding up the wounds of division. And in my head, I was just like, ah, he's gonna call Nazis very fine people

like so quickly. Yep. After he says that, yep. So this is where the movie was not fun. Now don't worry. The movie is about to get super duper fun. But all my notes are this point or just, I want to beat the shit out of everyone involved with this movie like the extras, the best boy, the kids who didn't want to be everyone.

Who's that? the best boy, the kids who didn't want to be everyone. Yeah. Trump's one and Mark Taylor jumps out of bed and he's like, my diary is magical. This is great. Let me just write something else in it because now I know I have the magical powers. I will stop seeing demons. And the demon on the ceiling gives him a thumbs up. He's like good stuff, Rob. Good stuff.

And now see the circle I'm making with my fingers WP, right? W. Why power? My brother killed a dog. All right. So then she sees a video of people in Israel blowing showfars to celebrate Trump. But she's like, hey, that's my idea. Is the juice stole blow and showfars from me.

That's, by the way, unrelated, but the group of Orthodox right wing Jews that did that immediately got mobbed by a giant group of left wing Jews who told them to stop it and shut the fuck up. So if you ever get a chance to watch that full clip, yes, it's amazing. A bunch of liberal Jews are like, cut it out, you assholes. Hillary got like 75% of the Jewish vote. What the fuck are you doing? Oh, Ryan.

Yeah. Well, they didn't know about Pittsburgh yet, though. So, okay. And then we get the, the final actual shot of the movie here, there are still like 30 minutes left in this movie, but the actual final shot is Mark trying to write more prophecies now that he knows for sure that he's magical. Yep. And it's, it's like him trying to like again, experiment with his powers and obviously

they're not working and it's the best. He's like having trouble, right? He's just like Israel, Israel and America. I will have seven grilled cheese sandwiches. I need iron, think all, think all night. I need to put another kid to death. This is the working. We should point out as people who report whenever Mark Taylor sneezes is loud enough, he has continued to produce prophecies like people fighting literal underground ninjas. Yep.

And stuff like that. So like, not like that was the one prophecy he made. If you ever want to hear what other work he's done, just tune into the scathing atheist that I just dig around long enough. Just dig right to the end of this episode, either or. And then, okay. And then that ends, right? If the movie is now over, but again, it'll keep going because now we're going to get

a, I shit you not for and a half minute bald eagle giz fast of cold bear intro proportions. Um, a bald eagle picks up a baby and drops it in a cage. It's the best. Just people with Maga hats jerking off onto AR 15s. It's fantastic. And the song that's going on, it's painfully literal about its jingoism. Like the first versus pre-sap seems to be World War II was awesome. Great, right? That was fun.

Also, like being Anna occasionally parody the songs from movies that we watch. And so I tried to find this song, it is nowhere. Like the author shot himself and then destroyed his face on all the statues he burned himself out of all the pictures. This is nowhere except in this movie. Yeah, so then we have a bunch of, I don't know, people holding pictures of their, their loved ones that were in the war and are dead now or something. Yeah, you know, who didn't die in a war? Donald Trump. Well, they should never went to war. He was the weird because he's from that generation. A whole bunch of people

went to Vietnam at that time. I don't know. Crazy. And then they show a bunch of shots of heroes. And of course, this includes firefighters or mortgagers going to fucking walk. Right. Anyway, yeah. So this goes on for four and a half minutes and we're all going like, man, there's 20 minutes left in this movie. What's going on here? And then, okay, from here on out, we're going to do another verse on that song. Yep. We're going to do another verse on that song.

Yeah. Is it over now? No, bridge. We didn't know we were going to do that. All right. The bridge is over now. It's over. One note key change.

We're going to modulate now. One note key change. We're gonna match it up Can you bridge back down and from here on This movie will exist in a quantum super state of both over and not over. It's a documentary. It's just, you know, it gets 20 minutes of talking heads drawn from a who's who of scathing atheist dimensions. Oh, Anna just kept turning to me and going, are you sure this is still the movie? To the point that I really like, Paul said was like, see, we're still on Amazon. Still on Amazon.

Still the movie. I was just like, all right, well, the movie's over not watching this anymore. This does not count whatever the fuck the next 40 minutes are. I'll listen to the audio while I make a beautiful pork tenderloin that I just found in the fridge perfect. Okay, so they're going through. It's a series of different people. One of them is Lance Wall now, right? Yeah. And I love that under his name, under his like credentials or whatever,

it says author and international speaker. And I love that my bullshit resume is the same as Lance Wall. Also, that guy though, they just had a small business owner. I could do that one too. Oh my God. And I could not find that guy for the life of me. The one that introduced I was like, okay, let me Google and maybe on snope. He's just like a local pizza parlor. And it seems like Dave Smith or something. Yeah. By the way, Lance Walnut is here to let us know that if you look at the Bible, says our people so like who gives a shit what the Jews think am I right? Yes, that no that is very clearly the message right? Okay, so the first question they're they're tackling They're going back to that second Chronicles 714 thinking and saying like hey look man Trump is the president of the Christian people

Not the rest of the Christian people, not the rest of the people. We all want to know how God's going to fuck up the heathens, but just let it happen. Whatever he's going to do. You just focus in on Donald Trump, our savior. And then of course we get David Barton. Okay, so they move away from the second Chronicles portion of this. And now they're moving on to the the founding fathers love the fuck out of Jesus portion of the Argument so of course the very next person to show up is David goddamn Barton. To tell us about the national day of prayer and humiliation what.

prayer and humiliation. What? That was the other guy. That was the guy after him. That was the guy with the the teeth. The guy who looked like, oh, you're right. It is. Yeah, Gab. Well, without the teeth. The guy with the big hole wear. I was like, sure, for motions, movies, what's the name? Yeah, exactly. He's there to tell us about prayer and humiliation. He means humility, right? I'm pretty sure he meant humility. No, and by the way, by the way, like, let's not glaze over this. The fucking movie about how God wanted Donald Trump to be president includes a guy talking about how important it is for leadership to be humble. I fold it in on myself at this point in the movie. And then fucking Michelle fucking Bachman shows up. Yeah. Again, this is how people who are on this is your life feel.

Like my fourth grade English teacher could have walked through the door and I would have been less excited than when Michelle Bachman appeared on screen to stare up and to the left. Yes. And then we get David Barton back for a second and he explains how John Hancock said, if you're going to pray, you need to also like do real thing. And David Barton doesn't realize that that's John Hancock saying prayer is fucking stupid and nothing. You also need to do thing plus the nothing. If you want to do something. And so now all our talking heads are going to pine on what it means to make America great

again. The first is that that weird army guy. He says like, I think we've strayed from the constitution. I'm like, yeah, right. No, black people count as five fifths. Now it's rough on you. I get it. Yes. It's a man. I mean, to be fair, I do think quite a bit more about my freedoms. Now

that Trump is president, but it's because he's taking them away. Yeah, it's not a concern. The baby is now much more aware of the candy. At this point, I thought I was listening to like Walter Subcheck. I don't know where, like this guy's little speech is almost indistinguishable from Walter from Lebowski, like, except this guy's real and not a scripted piece of satire. Like, he could be reading random phrases from Walter and it's the same, just like, please, dear, basic freedoms. Oh, yes. Say what you will about the dead.

It's Nazism. At least it's neat, those. Well, it's funny because so David Barton shows back up at this point to chime in. And I wrote in my notes in anticipation of him making his point, David Barton thinks.

And then I realized that I had those three words together and I just erased them. Yeah. David Barton is like, look, the declaration of independence is three things. Well, five, number one, yeah, five things. Number one, there is a God.

Are you sure about that? Number two, I get the first shot at the toppings bar. Number three, fuck you, Dave, Dave, lion cutter. Yes, it was a fascinating window into David Barton's brain when he started explaining the five things that the goddamn declaration and independent stealth. Us. That was nuts. Yeah. So number one was God exists. Number two, God gives us rights. Number three, the first thing, the first two things are made of magic. So we have a government way fuck. Oh, have you seen matriangle hat that I have? I'm a historian. Fuck. Okay. Number four, there's a fixed moral law. Number five, the majority gets to

fix the moral law. Mother fuck. All right. Start my list over. All right. Number five. But let's again, number five on his list is that the majority should win. Again, this is a pro Trump movie. But how it should. Yeah.

Oh, also, by the way, a retired NBA player would like to outpine on constitutional law as well. Oh, wood. Outwood is a ridiculous looking human being. His head looks like what's the moon right before it's full? It's a waxing gibbous. Yeah, perfect. That is a perfect word for his head too.

Yeah. No, and he's perfect for this moment in this movie still, whatever this is, the end of this movie. For watching that. Yeah. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll to explain political science to me, please. Oh, you got out what? Great. Step ahead of me moving. Aw, perfect. All right. And so now the argument has something to do with how God wants America to have the

best economy in the world. Oh my God. The guy who tries to do the rising tides, raise all ships metaphor, but messes it up. He's like, the economy is a tide that comes in and sweeps all the boats out to sea. No, but the sea is higher. And they ride. They get away. You America, the tide that lifts all boats, but then we put a tariff on tides and a fucking subsidy on. You know, I feel like a post Paris accord world. We shouldn't use the rising tide as a metaphor for the American economy. Throw it out there. This is also where Michelle Bachman is trying to explain that like anytime something bad happens,

who is the first on the scene? America. It's sometimes we're there before. Yes. That's why greed is good. I want to get pushed off this. Let me do the rest of the speech. Let me do the rest of the speech. Yeah, but also the like the argument they're making here is we keep way more money than any other country. Air go, our economy lives all both. So I'm like, show me on the blackboard how you got there. Right? Isn't that the opposite of what you mean? But don't worry, Michelle

Bachman doesn't think we should have to apologize for having so much money. And I made the mistake of looking back at the screen during my cooking at this point to see Michelle Bachman staring at me and I was terrified. That is a, she's like a basilisk with lipstick. Like you don't want to look. Well, luckily though, she was staring up into the left of you. That's why she does that, by the way, because she will turn you to stone. Yeah.

Okay. So now we have to talk for a moment about the importance of our military being fucking huge. Oh my God. The guy who's the Gringot's goblin. This guy is trying so hard not to say concentration camp. Everyone's so slow. He's so care. It's like me being coached slowly by Andrew. He's like, okay, so besides being the world police nailed it, the second best thing about us is our religion. Yeah. Which is Christian.

Is he the guy who starts saying like, well, think about it. If it wasn't for Americans, who'd fight the pirates? Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? Do you later appears in this montage for a second and a half to be like, you know what else America does? Beats up all the pirates. You're welcome.

Remember when Obama pulled out of Iraq? Jack Sparrow had a fucking field day. What? You talk about. There's also this amazing moment where the guy, the guy who looks like Anderson Cooper wearing a Leslie Nielsen mask is trying to explain the relationship between the dollar and the other economies in the world. And I just wrote, I would love to hear what this guy thinks, the relationship between

the dollar and other economies is preferably when he is tied to a chair. Also, we got that lesson about the dollar and what that means from giant gap tooth. I guess I don't have any other ways to describe that man. And I was just like, oh, cool. Yeah, explain what strong dollar means. Say anything, anything at all. Dollar apt tooth. Yeah, so he just whistles. So, and also there's that Walter Schoencheck comes back on and he's like, yeah, look, America's military is the only one that can stand up to the world's bullies like Putin and Kim Jong on and an air to on and MBS and Duterte.

This list isn't helping, is it shit? Leave nothing. This is also, he's the one who shits on the socialist country. Yes, where he says, you know, they don't have a big enough military. They don't even have a constabulary for it. What? They don't have police. I'm sure about that.

Is that that guy is in, he keeps showing up for like five seconds just to like win the crazy contest. And that's super competitive in this weird end of a movie that's not about, he just like pops in and he's like, space pirates, my job. He literally ends this little moment where he goes, these socialist countries have all these social programs, socialist. Ah, that's what that is. Guns. And by the way, the whole thing here is just like America's the world police.

When America sneezes, the world catches a cold. You know what we probably shouldn't do is put a bigoted isolationist in charge of that. Yes. Yeah, right. You dropped out of economics class before you learned about the demand curve and thinks it's a one, it's, but then an angel will rise to outstupid everything else in the movie where he looks directly into the camera and goes, we are literally the glue. That whole. into the camera and goes, we are literally the glue.

That whole. But look at that guy. Like, okay, he might literally be glue. There's a terrible gollum accident at the 3M R&D department and they wound up with that guy. So I'm willing to forgive him. Normally, that bothers the hell out of me. But that gets us literally the metaphor.

He looks, he slows down to say the word literally, we are literally the glue. Yeah. What? Well, and then they start talking about how all the refugees in the Middle East got so excited was Trump was elected. What? Oh my God. Also, Michelle Bachman has this amazing moment here. So she's trying to say how important Jerusalem is and that she was there for the Independence

Day celebration, the like 60 year anniversary or whatever it is, but she can't talk. So she goes, they were independent in 1948. And I was there for the celebration. Well, not what it sounds like. I just a party like every year and multiple, a multiple of 365 days beyond that day in 1948. I went to one of the, it was in 2015. I went. It was 67 is a big anniversary year. It's important. Yeah. And then, okay. So this is sort of the most fucked up admission that this movie makes that they're trying to say like, yeah, Trump's been a great president, but they have no examples to use. So they have to spend the last 10 minutes talking about how awesome it is that our embassy will be in Jerusalem now instead of Tel Aviv. And they pretend like the fact that

we didn't have an embassy in Jerusalem meant that Israel didn't get a capital at all. Yeah. As a country. Yeah, right. She says, Michelle Bachman says, yeah, you know, they're the only country in the world that isn't allowed to name their own capital. Huh. What's the capital of Palestine? Uh, fence. Capital is not fence, Michelle Bachman.

Punishment. This is also where they tell us that, uh, Israel is the only democracy in the Middle East, and that's why it's such a big deal. And like, uh, does it count as democracy when like half the population can't vote? What is that? What do you call that? Three fifths. Yeah.

No, not even there. Right. Well, America. Yeah. Also, like we just have this long series of people who want to let us know that they would definitely fuck Israel. Like I wrote my nose like I just want anyone to love me the way Lance Walnut loves Israel. Oh, and my notes here are just this was a movie at one point, right? There

was a movie at the beginning of this. Oh, I have to point out this part to his Michelle Bachman starts talking about how she was honored to do election night coverage with David Barton during the election. And she's like, and our coverage was on channels, real ones like day star TV. Oh my God, lots of channels. So many channels. Oh, practically all of them. And of course, because it's not a real news station, they didn't have like a room full of guys counting up electoral votes. They had a room full of prayer warriors, intercessory prayer warriors. I want to stop around in their prayer room like that Fox News guy who had to have the

numbers explaining. Yeah, I can't be real. Car won't. No, you've been praying wrong boys. You've been praying wrong. Some fat guy who didn't expect to be on TV. We haven't been praying wrong. Carl. Yeah.

And then, okay. And so at this point, Michelle Bachman is talking about the importance of keeping God in the public square. And America, the beautiful literally rises up behind her as she's talking. She says that the most important thing we can do is pray, right? And then we all are talking heads. Read us second Corinthians 714. And as they do, we see great Americana, except only one of the places they can show that's great in America is a place that voted for Donald Trump.

Yes. It's just like, let's see here the great Trump bastion of new, nope. San Francisco Hoover, the St. Louis, such Colorado, be a Hawaii, but I feel somewhere. Do we have a feel somewhere? There's some amber waves that grain up in this mother fuck

technically voted for Trump. This is Wyoming. They voted for Trump three times. It's often decided. I got so mad at this part. They were just like, stop shit. Don't show New York. Fuck you.

How dare you? What? No. Don't anywhere I've been. Needs to not be in this. Stop it. Just keep flipping off the drones wherever they go. Yeah. God, they might as well close with a shot of a building at Liberty University called the

Electoral College. All right. So to close things off tonight, I wanted to take a look at a few of Mark Taylor's other yet-to-pass prophecies. And I want to ask you guys, if you think that they have the rhythm of truth. All right. Consider this if you haven't voted yet today.

So Roe v Wade will be overturned. Rhythm of truth or no? Likeable, likely, likely. All right. Obama will be charged with treason. Hmm. Can you say it slightly differently? Obama will be charged with treason.

All right, that sounded good. Yeah, that had to be the truth. Yeah. All right, all right. How about this one? This is probably my favorite. Trumble. You do this one in an Iambic pentameter if possible.

I can't. I've already written. Trump will author rise the arrest. No, kid do it. I'm rising. I'm rising so hard over here. Thousands of Trump will authorize the arrest of thousands of officials who are part of a massive satanic

pedophile ring. It's another that he would arrest his own people. Where can Taylor prophecy? massive satanic pedophile ring. It's another that he would arrest his own people. Where can Taylor prophecy? Also, and this is one we've mentioned on scathing before, a couple of times I do believe Trump will release the already-extent cure for cancer and Alzheimer's disease, which big pharma is hiding. Saving it for later. That's the guy that Liberty University made a movie about. And finally, this is his last prophecy, guys.

This one's about today. The midterm elections in 2018 will result according to Mark Taylor in a quote, red tsunami. To be fair, when Mark Taylor said that he did mean Michelle Bachman's first period and we don't know if that's going to take place. Well, now that has the rhythm of truth. All right. That's going to do it for our review of the Trump prophecy, but it's not going to do it for the episode yet because we still need a coax your back next week. So Eli tell us what's on deck, the killing of Satan. What? Oh, I'm so looking forward to this one. This was so fucking crazy looking. Yeah, this is a Filipino exploitation film about a young man who goes and defeats Satan with his

karate and laser power. So happy. All right. It's a good one with karate and laser powers to look forward to we're going to bring episode 168 to a merciful close once again A huge thanks to all the patreon donors that help make the show go if you'd like to catch yourself among their ranks You can make a per episode donation to patreon.com size god awful and thereby early access to an ad free version of every episode You can also help a ton by leaving a five star review on iTunes and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms And if you enjoyed this show be sure to check out our sibling shows the scaling idea citation needed in the skeptic Cred available on iTunes Stitcher and wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions comments or cinematic suggestions You can email gotoffamoviesadgmail.com legal services for this podcast or provided by the offices of PA dredores Tim Robertson takes care of our social media

Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnik of Evil Drafts on Mars all other music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark And was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen right ELA Bosnik I'm no illusions promised to work hard to earn another chunk next week until then. We'll leave giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen, right? Eli Bosnick, I'm Noelusius, promised you to work hard to earn another chunk next week until then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Michelle Bachman went on to stare at a goat for the CIA until it exploded. You voted today. Bach, if I find out, or maybe you didn't. Eli should've heard it.

Oh, today, he's a lot of, directly. Yeah, correctly, I'm average. Alright get ready for a fucking crazy one Morgan. Just hold on. You're not gonna believe us that this movie exists. Jesus fucking Christ, here we go. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC copyrighted 2018 all rights reserved.