God Awful Movies - 170: GAM170 Saved by Grace

Episode Date: November 20, 2018

This week, the guys team up for an atheist review of "Saved by Grace", the story of a washed up child actor settling for what he can get. --- For details about **Vulgarity for Charity**, click here: [https://scathingatheist.com/2018/11/01/vulgarity-for-charity-2018/](https://scathingatheist.com/2018/11/01/vulgarity-for-charity-2018/) --- If you’d like to pick up a copy of our latest ebook; Diatribes Volume 2: 50 More Essays from a Scathing Atheist, you can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Essays-Scathing-Atheist-Presents-ebook/dp/B06XQTJT4R --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

He comes over in the flashback. He comes over to his dying wife. She's bleeding all over the place She's got this really unrealistic blood street coming out of her mouth and he says what's going on? What's going on? I got shot is You're stupid. I left for a solid six minutes At this moment I just wrote what's going on? What's up? Is that your period? I thought that was your From your mouth. Is that from your is that happened occasionally? Not awful movie movies who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be to my immediate left is my good friend Heath and right Heath. Welcome back. Thanks Noah.

So you know who's a good actor? I don't. My ambiolic. I'm just going to get somebody from the cast of Blossom to be in my movie. I would get my ambiolic. You could do worse. Apparently, I wouldn't have thought. But yes, you could. You could do worse. Of course, sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnig Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? I am fantastic. Noah, did you guys get the second half of this pornography film? I only got the first little clips.

I take it. Skipping. I think it was plenty. I think you're good. I'm glad you guys got the parts with sex in it because mine was just the setups. Yeah, frustrating. I like setups. All right, so tell us, Heath, what porn setups will we be breaking down today? We watched saved by grace. It's the story of a man and a woman driving around their depressing childhood town on Thanksgiving and having a

giant all day sadness contest. And then at the very end, the movie's over. That's it. It's a 90 minute sadness contest, the movie end. Everybody loses or wins or whatever you call that. It's sadness contest. It's over. And Eli, how bad was this movie?

Well, if you love blind dates, but you wish they'd been set up by an evil God, you will love this movie. It's, it's like she is all that contagious. When Harry met Salmonella, the Fettor, the Fault in our scar tissue, that one already had cancer. Double. All right, we should probably mention upfront, that we're actually going to be recording this episode in late October so that we can take some time off for the holiday. So if Eli makes a topical joke that's five weeks past this freshness day, or, or if there's

a running joke that he's been making for weeks and you've been wondering where it comes from and it just suddenly shows up in this episode. Now you'll know why. What's the deal with it being October 21st? Did you heard about this? Is it? Huh? Pumpkin.

Am I right? Decorating. Twenty second. Third. It's it. All right. Does there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best of being the worst at? Yeah.

I'm going to go with best worst sadness box. Oh, there's we have some contenders. Yeah. I mean, there's a main character this movie that's not a person. It's a sadness box. The main character though, it's just he has a box of misery that he carries around like a sadness box. The main character though, it's just, he has a box of misery that he carries around like a security blanket. The whole movie, it's like a really dark peanuts cartoon about how Linus is about to kill himself. And he carries around a

set of box. Yeah. And Eli mentioned it here, but we have had so many sadness boxes like how many of our movies open up with someone going through the exposition box of sadness, right? Yeah. But his was definitely the best worst. All right, so I'm going to go with best worst geographical underpinnings. All right. So this movie is about a trip across town across this little rinky dinky shith hole town that rivals the search for the Northwest passage in time and complexity. At a certain point, I thought we were just going to get an overhead shot of the car driving

in a figure eight. Okay. I'm going pretty obvious here. I'm going to go with best worst manic pixie dream Christian. We've had a couple of these as well, but the woman in this movie is written like someone watched the first, I don't know, 12 minutes of playing strains and automobiles. I was like, John candy is the good guy. I've got it. I've seen everything I need. I am ready to write them.

Two of them are so gonna fuck. Yeah. Okay, I'm so sorry. I wouldn't join a bonus best worst here. I best worst observation. We're going to get there, but there's one line in this movie that irked me so bad I had to go down and scream about it for like 20 minutes or whatever. I'll, I'll mention it when it shows up, but it suffice to say all the dialogue in

this movie is cribbed from Heath flirting. Absolutely. We could trap any woman on the planet in a car with Heath and this movie gets reenacted, line for well, except she would say sane things, right? Right? No, I wouldn't dance with I don't. There's dancing in this. Oh, crazy billionaire money. Okay, look, if by Christmas you get us to $1 billion on Patreon, we will remake this movie shot for shot, but with Heath being like, shut up.

You dance gross. I'm eating a sandwich over your pool. All right. Well, we've got Turkey to get to or tofurkey as the case may be. So we're going to give ourselves a quick break. And when we come back, we'll help ourselves to all the spasmodic tangents that are saved by grace. Hi, I'm no illusion.

Not your line, you like? Does it matter who says it? In this instance, it kind no illusion. Not your line, you like? It doesn't matter who says it. In this instance, it kind of does. Yeah. Anyway, we know a lot of our listeners are going to be with their families on Thursday. For some of you, that'll be great. But some of you have really shitty families. Right.

So when you sit down for Turkey, many of you will have to wedge between a climate change to an IR cousin and an ant with three good car practice to recommend. And some of you will be sitting between an evangelical and an even worse evangelical. And many of you won't have any family to enjoy Thanksgiving with at all because you're losers. Nope, not the point of this bit. So, nope, okay, moving through.

So to lift you up, if you got less than most to be thankful for than most this year, we Not the point of this bit. Is that so? Nope. Okay. Moving through. So to lift you up, if you got less than most to be thankful for than most this year, we thought we'd remind you that no matter how bad you've got it, at least you're not a vegan. That's right, Heath. Because while you're eating turkey, I'll be sitting down to nutloaf. It's like meatloaf, but with nuts. It's exactly what you think. And when you're chowing down on a side of

mac and cheese, I'll be chowing down on Annie's vegan mac, which is flavored with, I'm not joking. Dried pumpkin. So sure, your uncle will start today only two beers shy of don't get me wrong. Some of my best friends are territory and he'll be there by the end of the Lions game. And sure your sister's husband will end the 9-11 argument pretty sure you're in on it too. But at least you get pumpkin pie with real whipped cream on it.

And Eli has to eat textured soy pie with almond cream. It's it's white. Is it though? Is it even white? Grayish white. There it is. Yeah. Okay. Just say grey. And we're back for the breakdown

and we're gonna open up this picture with a character literally bursting through the door and yelling bib in my face. We're no seconds in before I want this guy to die a cancer and that's before I realized it was Joey Lawrence. Joey Lawrence Joey Lawrence very exciting very exciting. Yes. Yeah Someone was like get me an actor who had a catch phrase

Sit though. I was waiting for it the whole fucking time. He's there. You did not get a woe in there. That's so disappointing. I agree. It's like, it's like going to see the band and they only play their new shit. Fuck you. By the way, I looked up Joy Lawrence and it is sad. Super, super duper sad. So he ran out of money after his, you know, child TV star thing. Then he did that terrible show

with Melissa Joan Hart, and then he ran out of money again. And then he tried to be, this is serious, a chip and Dale's dancer in Las Vegas. He tried to get, I'm not even joking, a residency specifically as a chip and Dale's dancer at a Vegas location. And then he ran out of money again. And now he ran out of money again. And now he's bankrupt. He filed for bankruptcy this year. Oh wow. Do you so? The other cast members were constantly trying to get him to do it. It was like, okay, so you're going to stop the car very quickly in this scene. And then, you know, you're going to say.

You're gonna say. Whoa. Yeah. Did you guys get that? Did we get it? Huh? We can only hope so. All right. Well, the good news for Joey Lawrence, though, is that this absolutely has to be rock bottom,

right? Because if he does worse than this, it's suicide, right? Like that would be the end. That's the only way to go below, it's suicide, right? Like that would be the end. That is the only way to go below being in this movie, right? Spoil the movie, but yeah, go. Yeah, okay. Okay, so this is one of those,

this is gonna be one of those overcoming your grief movies and we've done a lot of those. And the beginning of the overcoming your grief movie always has to be your loved one diet. Obviously. Right? Like, we've seen our fair share of car accidents to open these up or maybe somebody's got the cancer or something like that or whatever. This movie. We get it. Yeah. This movie goes so far above and beyond in terms of how they're going to kill off that character. Could be

anything. Could be an explosion explosion could be a car accident isn't so often is but no. It's that the husband Joey Lawrence's character is a cop and a bad guy that he busted way back in the day just got out of jail and has now come into his house to kill his wife so that he gets to know what true grief feels like. And this criminal is amazing. All I have in my notes is a member of Nickelback without makeup is there holding her pocket. Oh, and he has so he's got all the cancer. He's like, he's coughing so silly, extra coughing. Like, there's like a giant tumor pointing a gun at this guy who's pointing a gun at Joe and he's coughing up ridiculous colored blood. It's over the top.

And the dialogue here is so bad. He inches towards the criminal at one point and he goes, what are you a ninja? He does. But it's Joey Lord. So of course, he's a fucking ninja. Originally this movie I would imagine was written so that the guy just shoots his wife and he stands, stands there, he goes, oh, very sad. But because it was Joey Laurence, I think he went in there and be like, I'd kick a little ass though first, right? Right. So they actually have the bit where like the cooking timer dings and he turns away and he that distracts the bad guy and he wrestles with them with the gun, but, but the wife gets shot.

It distracts the bad guy forever. You're like a good minute of distraction. One bell going off. The guy like he starts playing with a cat squeaky toy and like Joey Lawrence plays with the squeaky toy for most of that same minute, but then he dies for the gun and his wife gets shot. And there's no audio here and I guarantee you it's because there are several hours of footage of Joey Lawrence yelling risk control.

Or just going out, out, out, out, out, out. Stop. By the way, Joey Lawrence is not looking good either. No. He is. He looks like a pile of cocaine being held together by a spray tin just barely. That matches mine. I was going to say he's like discount Kmart branded version of Jean Claude Van Damme. Yeah. Yeah. Like like Jude Law on his death bed. He looks like Jude Law went bankrupt and had to become a chip and Dale's dancer. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was just going to say, looks like a rejected resident chip and Dale's dancers. It looks like Patrick's Wazey now.

All right. So yes, we have now achieved dead spouse in the dumbest way any of these movies ever has and that's saying a lot. And then we get the credits, right? And there's going to be a lot of this. This is the first time we see it. These shots, these long panning shots of just a really shitty place to live from a person so enamored with his hometown that he doesn't realize that he's just showing shots of a shitty place to live. Yeah.

The whole subject, dear, is I got to show you the water towel. Yep. Yeah. The whole thing, it's like a reverse Wes Anderson movie. It's like Wes Anderson having a stroke made a movie like opposite. Yeah, right. Right. Exactly.

And the music here is provided by a youth pastor trying to fuck a 14 year old girl, right? Is just yes. And throughout, right? That guy by the end of this, that musician does fuck that 14 year old girl. That's the only kind of closure this movie gives us. Yeah. All right. So we've got Joey Lawrence is sitting in his home all depressed, right? And his cat, he's a cop. So the captain is coming by to see how he's doing on this, the fifth Thanksgiving since his wife was shot and killed by that criminal. And Captain cop guy is 427 months pregnant. Look, I am not a thin man, but my beer gut stays within the bounds of visual possibility.

He's also wearing a belt, which is crazy and impossible. Like it's somehow too tight and around his knees at the same time. It's insane. Yeah, he's not a, the buckle is facing back in at him. It's interesting geometry. He's non-uclidean. That's how I had him down. Yeah. So, okay. So, but he shows up and he has to walk through the depressed beer house, right? The joy Lawrence has that one fucking house that every depressed person in a movie lives in or or successful podcast.

Well, you throw a few beer cans around your apartment and it would have been a dead ringer for this place. Yeah. Thank you. So maybe that is what depression looks like. Yeah, but so the captain's there to invite him over for Thanksgiving, right? He even says you should come over and watch the game. I have a 70 inch screen TV. What function does the word screen serve in that description, you think?

Right, but Joey Lawrence, again, is supposed to just be like supremely depressed here. So he's like, all right, let me check my planner. I got five hours of bleak silence. Call Heath, five more hours of bleak silence. Free after that, okay, maybe I'll come over later. Yeah. So, okay. And then, you know, but he's not interested in those stupid things giving. Instead, Joey Lawrence would like to have flashbacks to the scene we just saw the exact scene. And while he's going through this, by the way, he is wearing a j-comically giant watch. It is so distracting.

He might as well be wearing like the flavor flames necklace around his wrist as he goes through this box of sad memories. All right. So now it's time to introduce the star of the show, the depression sad box. Yes. Now, he's he's going through some of it. We get a better cataloging of its of its contents later, but he's going through it right now.

And he has a gun. And I was just like, oh, if he shot himself right here, this movie would be over and it would be a Thanksgiving for all of us, but no. Yeah. Don't, don't keep a gun inside your weepy sadness box. Just to tip. Yeah, right. Although this one to be fair was a very silly looking prop gun clearly made

of cardboard and it, again, made me laugh. So like, maybe, maybe it's not entirely sad as well. Just like that. It's kind of funny. One that squeaks. That would be good. And he does the thing where he only needs one bullet. And every time I see someone do that with a sadness box, and that happens in Christian and non-Christian movies, I always think about like, what if the gun goes off when you're in an hour from home and you're just like, Oh, you got to go all the way back for another. Two of us kids. And I was even by one bullet like I would hope you can. If you order one bullet at a store,

I would like them to say, no, I will not sell you one bullet. Absolutely not. Fun fact, they only sell them one bullet at a time at Walmart. If you buy them, they just got to get them out of one of those things with the little plastic balls in it. Got to put them in a quarter at a time. All right. So before he can shoot himself, though, he has to go check his answering machine. I'm dying to know what decade this movie happens in, right?

So because it has today technology sometimes, but then also it has answering machines sometimes. It's the best. And he has a flat, this is impressive for the amount of movies we've watched. He has a flashback during the exposition answering machine message. Yeah. Like he might as well have had a montage of himself having a flashback during the answering scene expositions over the crack. I was in safe.

Yes. As was the flashback itself. Oh, yes, the flashback is to his wife at their first Thanksgiving with her perfectly having cooked a turkey and going, it's my first try it cooking a turkey I think I did pretty good and I just want to say if he had a realistic flashback it would be very different Jesus shut it off. I can't shut it off. It's a smoke alarm. How is the fucking floor covered in this much water? I don't know. No idea about the water at least. I don't know where that water came from. That's weird. You know, I can't do. I like you to know.

So, okay. So he goes to leave because he can't just kill himself there at the house, but he has to be mean to a homeless person looking through his trash first. Okay. Here's the question. I'm going to go a little rogue here. Is this man homeless? This man is beautiful and not homeless. Is he just a garbage enthusiast? is beautiful and not homeless. Is he just a garbage enthusiast? Well, that's true. No, that's true. I was just assuming he was homeless because later on he said he slept at a homeless shelter. You could, that could be a choice. He does that ironically, you don't know, because he constantly refuses money. First in this scene, but he will do so later in the movie as well. He keeps being like, hey, man, do you

want some money? He's like, nah, I'm just here for the trash. I, and again, one of his first lines he goes, I used to be super busy too, but now I just enjoy the world. I wrote in my notes, yeah, enjoy the world. P in the clothing. I'm standing in. Yeah. Well, okay. So, but that's the thing and the, these Christian movies so often have to butt up against this. Their religion demands that cranky, weird street person have it all figured out, right? But because their theology is indistinguishable from the shit a crazy person would just shout at you from your garbage cans.

The other thing I love about this scene is there's like four sentences in a row where all this character does is sing the homeless guy. Like he's like, you know, it's Thanksgiving. You've got a lot to be thankful for. And he's like, you have a lot to be thankful for because you're homeless. Zing, got him. And he's like, okay, you got me.

God is good. Is he? Because you're a homeless person. Oh, all right. I feel like you're just doing this now. Everything I say, turning back around about me being homeless, kind of a dick move. Maybe give me your house suicide or offer me more than one $5 bill out of your wallet. You are going to kill yourself. Basically, all your money would have been the same, right? But so here's the thing though, like, right, this is sort of a constant character and not just Christian movies, but movies that have any kind of connection

to God or whatever, that the homeless guy stands in for like God on earth. But because it's this movie, it has to be done to such a ridiculous extreme that this guy is basically just like Carving the word God into his lawn with his laser gizz He And and they have this weird moment before the scene ends where they kind of agree Like he goes like yeah God never gives us more than we can handle right and he's like you said it I just I felt like the homeless guy and the guy with the dead wife agreeing on how great God is was a weird beat choice for this film.

Like, for that out there. Well, by the way, I got to feel like that's the worst possible thing to say to a suicidal person or the second worst. Like, that's a really bad thing to say to suicidal people, right? Right. And second only to you won't. All right, then he drives out to more. G isn't Nebraska beautiful shots from somebody who doesn't know any better.

I just wrote driving through the fields of nothing that is America. Right. He passes a Thanksgiving church sign basically says, Ba Hum Bug. He's arguing with church signs, Noah, you should sue. And so as he's driving, he happens by a stranded hot check, but he just keeps driving because fuck that bitch. Okay, in his defense, she stands up like when he's halfway bastard and I was just like, Hey, stick out your thumb or something.

People don't just stop. And if they do, it's because they're going to murder you or you're in a porn pretending you're waiting for a ride. Like, there's only two reasons why they just stop. Come on. I would have stopped for the, like, small chance of the porn reason with this. Yeah, no, that's yeah, she made it worth stopping. Eli, you'd be amazed by small town America. What people will do if they, if they see like somebody walking along the side of the road with

luggage in some parts of the world, they just do stop. It's amazing. What? Yeah. I've been working too hard to hurt our people. All right. So, yeah, but he keeps driving. She and what's so funny is that she's acting desperate, right? Like, she's like, oh, finally, a car's coming by, but the filmmakers were too lazy to go to an actual road with no cars on it. So there's like visible cars behind and ahead of his. Oh, finally, a Jeep Grand Cherokee, which is the only kind of car I'll ride it. There you go. Chevy Tahoe, finally. Yeah. But okay. So he drives beyond it. Then he goes to the bridge where

all the significant bullet points of he and his wife's relationship happened. Does it feel weird to kill yourself in a sentimental place? It feels weird. It feels weird to me. I only say that because if that's true, I have to kill myself in the top of an Irish restaurant. I really don't want to do that. I can watch in heights. I look at all. Yeah, that's where I'm supposed to my wife.

Wow, I'd have to rent that fucking apartment again or something. Right. I tricked my wet. Yeah, no, that's that you got to go to a windy. I mean, you're not the first guy to kill yourself in that parking lot of that Wendy's. All right. And so now we're going to properly catalog the sadness box, right? He's going to take out one piece of

exposition at a time. Oh, he's got a Bible with an inscription, lazy, but he looks at that he looks at the inscription here so that we'll see it too. Yeah. He might as well take out a jar labeled nostalgia and just start drinking out of it. And he's got his sadness picture that he's like rubbing his hands along. And then we see he's got a whole line of sadness pictures that he's like, stuck into his dashboard. So they pop up like guess who? Just a bunch of sadness pictures. And he's got like a spinning spice rack, a poison next to him. It's like it's over the top. He's got the plane tickets for that trip to Paris that they never took.

So good to know that you and Thomas Smith are ahead of him. And then he has a picture of the guy who killed his wife, which I feel like you don't want your suicide box. Am I right? He's got the news slipping in case we forgot from the beginning of the movie or the flashback. Yeah. And of course at the very bottom of the box, he has the gun to kill himself with. That's the end of this rebus puzzle worth of backstory apparently.

Also, by the way, he's got that it's supposed to be a newspaper clipping of the guy who killed him, but it's not. It's, he, it's like a piece of paper. So he scanned the article about the killer, printed it on regular paper and keeps that piece of regular paper in the saddest box. But even better, this movie's so ridiculous. They didn't even bother writing a fake article about the killer. They just took whatever they had on paper around.

So here's what we got to see. We got to see an article that was, I'm pretty sure, a sympathetic article about the Nazis who had their paintings stolen by the evil American soldiers in 1945. What, What? Really? I'm not even joking. That's like these guys could not be bothered to type up something to cover up the Nazi newspaper article, which was the only paper they had lying around on their sir or counter

idea. They were like, Hey man, type us up a fake newspaper article and the only thing the pro guy could think of, and man, this move is like, what's the typical newspaper story? All right, feel good story about the Nazis who have their painting stolen by the American soldiers. Excellent. All typed out. All right. So here he is at the bottom of the box. He pulls the gun out. He aims it at his head, but just then That woman he didn't pick up earlier runs up to his car runs up to a car parked in the middle of nowhere on Thanksgiving day with a man Holding a gun to his own head and she's just like, excuse me pardon me. Excuse me

She somehow doesn't notice at all. I feel like him just shooting himself right then and there would be fucking hilarious. Oh my God, she runs up high, excuse me, PIP. Oh, well, I was going to ask if I could borrow your car. So I guess the answer is yes. I have fun. I wanted to just like slowly roll up the window, just be like, no wash, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'll be there in the morning. The Nazis did have it rough when they're painting. All right, so she says to him, she's like, he rolls out the window. He hides his gun and she's like, hey, do you have a cell phone? And he's like, there's no reason why I wouldn't, but the movie doesn't work if I do. So no, I'm the one human who has a job and no cell phone. I don't like phone calls. Yeah, it's not relatable.

It's exactly. So it's like, she's like, you know, well, hey, look, I'm stranded here and I need a ride to get to a phone and I'm thinking to myself, this is perfect fucking timing, right? You could just step outside and shoot yourself and then she can use your truck. And be like, oh, have you found a your lucky day?

It's a weird way to grant a wish. Can I give you that note? But instead he's like, no, and I like, this is so awkward because he's not going to drive away. He's going to shoot himself. Right. He's got a like I wanted him to like do the like do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Of course, so she starts walking away all dejected, but then he's like, well, I can kill myself on black Friday. That'd be easier anyway. I just go to a Walmart. They'll do it for me. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So he's like, all right, I'll give you a ride into town.

Oh, and there's this amazing moment where he like backs up the car and he's like, hey, get in, but I wanted him so badly to just back up the car and be like, Hey, fuck you. I'm not getting you all right. And she sits little note. She sits in the back. Like, yeah, fucking Uber. Yes. Yes. She's the fucking chauffeur now. I sit in the front with, you don't sit in the front with you when you're by yourself with Uber. With the help? No. You have to ask Eli if he, okay. But so like, so she says to him, she's like, I need you to take me home. Now, he picked her up under the,

I need a phone. Excuse, right? What the fuck is this idea to get home shit? I was like, well, okay, I will drive you to a phone where you can call someone who gives a fuck about you. And spoiler alert, as we will learn later on in this movie, I would like to know who the fuck she was going to call on that. Yeah, no, we'll get there. Um, and also, okay, so he picks her up, because at first I'm like, what kind of dick wouldn't give her a ride? And then he gives her a ride like for two minutes

and she's going, oh, the Lord is going to bless you for this. I just know it. And I, I wouldn't kick her out of the car for saying that. But she would ask to leave shortly after, right? Like she would volunteer to get out of the car moments afterwards.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. All right. And then we learned here, of course, moments afterwards. All right. Oh, and then we learned here, of course, that her name is Grace. See, the movie title totally makes sense. It's double on Tondra now. Well, the movie has to black-friend it up because he's like, what's your name? And she's like, my name is, and he's like, what? And he's like, a Grace.

Grace. Yeah. All right. So and then he realizes that she wants him to take her clear to the other end of town, which based on what we've seen of this town is an 11 minute drive. If you catch all three of the town's red lights, exactly, but it will less spoiler alert two hours. Yes.

This is a two hour long movie. It is longer than planes, trains, and automobiles where they take planes, trains, and automobiles. All right. And by the way, it's if this moment that this movie absolutely lost me, this is an actual line that she says to him as they're driving through town. She says, and I quote, it's funny how different things look sometimes. You ever noticed that? That is below the threshold of noticement. You're literally asking, have I ever noticed objects moving in three-dimensional space? I mean, to be fair, what we're going to learn

about this character's intelligence, she might not have object permanence, like she might be gaining it right here at this very second. Wait a second, I'm about to say something, fucking crazy. You ever see a cup and then you look away and when you come back It's still fucking there

Is this me this is me thing and look at like for a second. I kind of wanted I'm trying to forgive them and figure out the excuse like how that happens because sometimes when I'm trying to write a tie I try but I can't figure out how to get in there and you and you look back over it You realize that you've written something like have you ever known a stuff? figure out how to get in there. And you, and you look back over it, you realize that you've written something like, have you ever known a stuff? Anyway, speaking of that, you know, or something like that. So I thought maybe this was just a bad effort to get to some other point. But no, that was the whole observation. And then that scene ends. He thinks sometimes look different. It is the entirety of the scene. And as though the movie realizes how stupid

what it just said is, it cuts to some more footage of America. It's like, oh, I thought we had more there. Sorry. Here's some, some fields of corn and some music that's like getting chased down a long tunnel by the guy at the party with a guitar. So. All right. So time is now past. She's falling asleep. Again, this can't be more than an 11 minute trip. Right. She fell asleep so quickly. That means that the 24 version of this is her being like, you ever notice how sometimes things change? And already in my notes, I'm like, well, how are they not there yet? Right? Like, we're two minutes from when she says that they got to go across town. And I'm already going, well, this is bullshit. And also I kind of plays it like he runs over a cat to wake her up or something.

Right? Like they go over a bump and she wakes up, but it plays it like he did that on purpose. Yeah, absolutely. She's, I want him to just like slam the wheel really hard. She smacks her head into the window. Oh, what? Oh, you were awake. You were awake. It's crazy.

Do you want to talk or what? Yeah. Right. Well, and honestly, like, if we could imagine anyone wanting this human being to be conscious, that would be easier to, to envision, right. Well, and honestly, like if we could imagine anyone wanting this human being to be conscious, that would be easier to envision, right? So like she's, she wakes up and she's like, are you a man of faith? And he's like, how are we talking about that? Now, but he does manage to find the only stupid question that you could respond to. Are you a man of faith with? She says, are you a man of faith? And he says, what does that mean?

I'd actually loved to hear a Christian explain that to me one time. I'm going to get that spare. I'm with Joey Lawrence on that. Like, what the fuck does that even mean? Like, if he's making an igthiest argument here, I'm good. Right. I think it was more like, I don't understand any of those words. I like where you're coming from. Faith almost has two syllables though. Yeah, right. So. Let's carry around a caron for those moments.

Are you man of faith? Yeah. Here's some stuff I want to tell you about. That's a good question. We done talking? No, we're done talking. I'm actually the gozerian. So, yeah, interesting.

Well, yeah, and he's like, no, I'm not really. And she's like, well, we're going to have to work on your lack of faith. I'm like, Oh, fuck you now I would just kick you out right now. I'd be like, Oh, okay, you're a big and against like me as a human. So my notes, great. Shut up and go back to sleep. But instead, okay, at this point, she's like, oh, hey, turn here, right? So they turn into this high school stadium. Right.

And look, she's leading him into an abandoned field. I've seen this porn. He's going to get a blowjob. This is neighborly. I like this movie for a second. Well, and then she starts breaking into the school. So we're like, okay, so there's gonna be a cheerleader outfit involved. It'll be great.

Exactly. We've seen this porn. We were all excited. Our notes are all in the same place. Right, but it's not a porn. So you have to be like, why the fuck would he follow? Like you would think like, oh, good, I'm out of this easy. Right, I just put her shit out and be like, okay, you two seconds.

And I'm leaving. All right. Didn't say any side trips. I'll let you enjoy your high school swimming pool. Yeah. Right. But he follows her and she goes, he goes, what are you doing? And she says, and I quote, come on, you never snuck into a high school before.

Felt like you should have had some follow up questions there, right? All I wrote was not as an adult, I didn't. Go to the two of them going door to door. Just like, okay, so there's a weird technicality in Megan's law. There's a hole there. There's also, there's an amazing he thin right moment here. We're like they, it turns out that they were old football rivals and he's like, oh, you went to this school and she's like, hey, he goes, yeah, we used to stop you in football and she screams that she's

like, guess, squim race, right? The fuck now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go to the bottom of the page. Scroll back. He's already naked and diving into that pool. It's good that this didn't happen to me. Well, no, but that's the thing is that like this movie was so like watching a woman try to fuck heath because she says, I want to go swimming with you right now. They're in their clothes, right? They don't have like a, like clearly she wants to get naked and the pool with him in that moment. And he's like, oh, you know, I can't swim. I just ate about 20 minutes ago. You know, it's right. Like he, I feel like you are underestimating

heath's powers. If this was a woman who wanted to naked swim with heath, he would have brought wetsuits and snorkeling. Yeah, I got them. And then you know, one the race and really run it. Yeah, I got them. And then you got to won the race and really run it take this race seriously I'm the little cap and everything. I wear it. I wear it. Thing that holds your nose open. Yes.

I've got a Russian coach not homeuticating to him through a skull vibration. This is weird. You're weird because you're going to lose so hard. Maybe get your head in the game, whatever. Served he just got you. You can't hear him. He's better than yours. That's established now. All right. So, but instead of having some naked time together, she sits there and reminisces about her last swim meet. And this is such a weird fucking story, right? Cause it is with her going like, you know, and that's the last time I ever saw my father. He abandoned me, but it

doesn't lead in like that's the point we're going for, right? No, she's like, Oh, I looked up and my dad was in the bleachers and I swear. She says there he was sitting right next to my mom, but we haven't introduced who he is yet. So I was like, Jesus. I'm just picture like drunk stepdad Jesus the whole time now. Yeah, you're doing honey. I'm sorry. I tried to kiss you at New Year's. You look so much like your mom now, but young.

So she's mad at me now. She's mad at me now. Looks like I'm going to be sleeping in your bed again tonight. Oh God. Moving on. Oh, but yeah, so she's telling this story about how like she wasn't the best swimmer on the team, but at the last meet her dad showed up. It was the only meet that he ever came to. And she swam in that one. Like she never swam before. That's the story, right? He's

just like, so what happened? And she's like, oh, I swam and he's like fast. And she's like, yeah, well, she turns it around on us, because she's like, and I was so happy. Little did I know, he had already packed his things. So that means that the dad was like, all right, I've never been to my daughter's swim meet, but you know what? If I'm abandoning her, I really want to put her on an emotional role

or her role with the next couple of days. I'll go to her swim meet for the first time. I'll cheer her on for the only victory she'll ever experience. And then I'll abandon her and never come back. Yeah, weird end of that. And like it seems like she was learning how that story ended at the same time we were, right? Like the actress was like, and it's weird.

I never saw my dad get, wow, that's, I told that story in the wrong order. Didn't I? Weird. Weird. I'm also the only woman to ever tell this kind of story that doesn't finish it with you want to have anal sex. So yeah, this is a weird day that we're doing. Oh, together.

You want to leave? You want to leave and go to another nostalgia place for me? Let's go to another nostalgia place for me. Yeah. Okay. But before we do that, she has to meet the sadness box. The sadness box. This is okay. So they leave the high school, they go back to the car. And as she's about to, now she's going to sit in the front seat, right? He's no longer

the Uber driver since he heard about her swim meat, but she's got to take his sadness suicide box out of the way first. Oh, so hey, whatever you do, just don't look in that box. I'm a grown up with a secret box. That's what's happening right now. And she gives the only realistic performance of this movie. The moment he's like, hey, don't look in that box. She's like, oh, you have a severed vagina in this box. I am going to leave now. He's like, sorry, sorry, sorry, you can hold it. You can hold it. You can hold it. How would I be a murderer if I let you hold the box? Right?

Murderers wouldn't let you hold the box. Huh? And I love that like, his ultimate decision is he doesn't want to be rude. So he lets her hold the box with a loaded gun in it without telling her that there's a loaded gun in it. Well, you know, that situation can be tricky. I mean, I know how that would go if it was me. I want me to hold this box. Oh, no, no, it's okay. No, no, no, it's cool. I insist, I insist. I want to hold this box? Oh, no, it's okay. No, no, no, it's cool.

I insist, I insist. I want to hold this box. What's in here, anyway? No, don't open the box, don't open the box. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, sorry. Personal. Right, so head or come.

Sorry, what? Is there a head in the box or is it full of bunch of little jars of your come? Those are the, no, it's just, it's just, there's three reasons. Someone isn't allowed to open a box and you're not Pandora. So it's head or it's come. What do you got? It's come. Right, right. Nice. Okay. So let's get going Just it's it's little book where God has written the code of life. You see yeah, it is it is Come got it Yeah, no that would scale reference everybody. Oh, okay, I got it gross though All right, so then we get more shots

So don't. All right. So then we get more shots. All right. So then we get more shots of this shit hole down from a dude who is sure he was just one filter away from capturing its true beauty amidst the corn silos. And also it looks so this is the point now where like she's starting to crack through his tough exterior. Well, she's got some crack through his tough exterior.

Well, she's got some pretty amazing banter. She didn't break. She just entered. Yeah, God. Yeah, this is, oh, no, this is her underwear joke too, right? The how a smile is like tight underwear. Gives you a rash. No, because it makes your cheeks go up. What? I don't know.

It doesn't even, that's stupid joke. It doesn't do that. How tight is this woman's underwear? I fear for her safety. Well, you know, we've gotten this far without talking about her ass. I feel like it's time we broached that subject, right? Okay. Let's do it.

This woman is a strong, impenet actress who we respect for her intelligence, but the DP of this movie thinks it is about her large and lovely backside because it is 90% of the shots of this film. It is literally credited above her, right? It's like so and so's ass and then so and so. Yeah, we see a lot of her ass. Thank you. That's the important thing. Okay. So now the driver on she finally gets him to smile by saying smile over and over again, you know, because that's how you

get people to stop being suicidal. He says, you should smile more and I want to just be like, I smile. You should have seen me when I had a gun to my head and I was thinking Joining my wife, oh And you came over and we're like beep beep nine hour drive across three blocks. Anyways, is this you up here on the left? Right, but before they can go any further. He remember homeless guy from before They're gonna run into him again quite literally. He actually from before, they're going to run into him again. Quite literally, he actually slams his car into homeless guy shopping cart, which means that this homeless guy travels faster than this car. Or more directly, it's very unclear what happened. They've taken the figure eight theory is really getting a lot more believable as we go. And also like,

I want to say this is on the homeless guy. If you're coming around the fucking corner with a shopping cart, don't just appear from behind a van. Look where you're going to shop. True baby carriages as well. Just throwing that out there. Yeah, exactly. So he hits the, and then he runs out. He's like, you know, uh, uh, Joey Lawrence is like, hey, homeless guy, are you okay? And the guy goes like, okay, I'm laughing for some reason. It's so again, the character choices they made for this homeless guy are bizarre. Cause he's not like, hey, you knocked over my card. He's like, I'm fucking great.

This is so fun. I had a, I had a card full of cans. Now I don't know more pushing those cans around. Thank you. One day today, by the way, your dead wife was the best. Yup. Yeah. The next thing he says.

Yeah, right. It turns out that this homeless guy knows his wife from when she used to work in the shelter because she was so Christian and it just so happens that the homeless guy has on his person, this character's son's baseball mitt. Oh my God. One second. Is this yours? Nope.

That's another guy's dead son stuff. Why is that? No, that was your wife's underwear. A little gift for me. There we go. Your son's been on love. I carry a lot of children related items. I don't know if you said this box is all lined up.

It's not just me and Adder of the short and eyes, but I think is this yet? This is the one. So many anniversary pictures. I got to sort these now. So yeah, so the homeless guy won't take any money from them or any offers to like drive him to the hospital now or whatever. And by the way, at this point, the movie, I'm thinking to myself, oh, what an obvious and stupid cliff. Obviously, they're going to end up having Thanksgiving dinner together with this homeless guy at the end of this movie. They won't.

Nope. In fact, that character will never appear in the movie again. Fun fact, we're done with him now. The writing is not as advanced as saved by the bell. Exactly. Yeah. Alright. So they drive off to have more awful dialogue, but they have to pull over so he can like, you know, tell or something from his heart and very clearly have to pull over because Joey Lawrence couldn't deliver this much dialogue without reading it.

Oh, and it couldn't drive and talk at the same time. Yeah. I want the deleted footage of him being like, you know, my wife and I treat. I forgot the wheel on the bus goes round and round. And she's carrying the sadness box in her lap this whole time for no reason. Also, I want like, just put it down, put it in like the floor in the back seat, but I like, I don't know. I'm guessing Joey Lawrence just refused to be like, it's his real sadness box. And it was like, no, every shot has to be in every shot.

It's got all the fan mail he got from back when he was on blossom or something. Yeah. Why is there a chip and Dale's ticket receipt on it? Just put it on. Doing that. Yeah. So he tells her all about how his wife did. So now he tells us the beginning of this movie.

Yes. The second of four times, we will revisit the beginning of this movie. Yes, the second of four times we will revisit the beginning of this movie. Yeah. Well, and then his monologue bleeds into us literally watching the exact same scene again, the full two minute and 15 seconds scene that opened this movie. Well, look, we needed to see that awesome ninja line again. But as well what have us watch grace watch the movie? I was he keep talking and describe the entire movie until this point. And that brings us to now. And then I said, and that brings us to now.

And then I said, and then I said, that brings us to now. Yeah. Yeah. We watched the whole bug of the, and then when said that brings us to now. Yeah. Yeah. We watched the whole fucking thing. And then when that scene is over though, see, at the beginning, we didn't get to see the whole scene. We just saw the Dwight got shot, but two more shots rang out. Yes, they use that term. He says literally he closes it by saying, three shots rang out that night. Here comes the story of the hurricane.

I'm also saying, Holly Bob Dylan's weird. One in my knee, one in the bad guy in his bad, badness, stupid way. And then the third, no wait, the first one went through her.

Sorry. Yes. Then for some reason, my knee, I guess we fought it around and down and then it went back to him. So the gun trajectory, don't picture it. You want to drive it? It's like, he goes, where's, where's all over her stone?

We need him to come in and yeah. Jesus. And also like we see, because he comes back and says that and then we go back into the flashback for just a second. And I shit, you know, I thought I'd misheard this. I went back and checked and made sure he comes over in the flashback. He comes over to his dying wife. She's bleeding all over the place.

She's got this really unrealistic blood street coming out of her mouth. And he says, what's going on? What's going on? I got shot. You're stupid. I left shot is going on. You're stupid. I left for a solid six minutes. I just wrote what's going on? What's up? Is that your period? I thought that wasn't from your mail. Is that from your, is that happened occasionally? Either way, just for a second, I'm going to get shot. I'm doing a shoe box thing. I got my napkins, I'm saving them just quiet.

But then we get her dying request, which is basically whatever you do, don't kill yourself and abandon our side. All right. So and then this is also, by the way, when we learn that it's been five years since this happened, thanksgiving, thanksgiving movie. Thank you. Yeah, thanksgiving. Yep, it's the fifth Thanksgiving he's been through without her.

Yeah, no, it's not. It totally goes. This movie shoe horns in Thanksgiving, like you're watching a movie that has an R rating on a plane. It's just like, what the shirt do you think you're going to pull a puckie? I'll shove your hat in your Batman. I don't know man. Don't put this movie on a plane. Why did this need to be Thanksgiving, dude? To get the

like YouTube watching Thanksgiving traffic that they got with their straight to video bullshit movie. I guess to be fair, I on both pureflakes and Christian cinema.com this and one are their movie are all that's in their Thanksgiving category. So they nailed it. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Well, we needed something. Um, all right. So then he's like, I, let's end this conversion and continue our cross town trip. Uh, and okay, they drive a little further, but then she wants to stop the car again because otherwise we'd have to deal with the fact that they definitely would have been across town or even three states by now. Yep. Right? You need to stop pulling over when she says pull over though. It's not working out.

Like it keeps being like so far she's made him pull over for a high school B&E and also to re narrate the entire movie. That's, that's what's happened. And this one's not going to be better, right? So he, at this point, like he shouldn't expect her to have a reason for asking him to pull over, but he does because it's stupid. And so she walks out to this, like dilapidated storefront and says, Hey, do you believe in soulmates? God helped murder yours. So you should. Yeah. mates. God helped murder yours. So you should. Yeah. Spoiler alert. Mine too. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So she, so now they break into her old dance studio. And she tells him about a much better guy than him that she used to date. But it's,

it's so made. First of all, I thought she was going to be like, and then I looked up in the bleachers and there was my dad. But here's the amazing thing. This scene is so corny that he goes like, oh, and then you fell in love and got married and learned to dance here on your wedding. And she was like, that's exactly what was written in the script, but now you've made it. So you talk now, because that's he gets like crazy competitive about it. Yes, I had a nowhere here. He's just like, fuck you.

I have special moments that I'm a better dancer than you. Let's say, I said, in my vows, we said never stop dancing. We did never stop dancing. Let's do this. Look at my feet. Look vows we said never stop dancing. We did never stop dancing. Let's do this look at my feet look at my feet Never stop Oh if they had a one-on-one dance battle right now That's all I was rooting for here that is all I just want a dirty dancing music to come on and Amazing, oh, I was thinking to more of like, uh, I was going

to sing time my life. That's fine. Go ahead. I'm forgetting. Oh, I was thinking more of a turn down for what style dance battle, just like genitals smashing through the ceiling and walls. than me. Um, yeah. So okay. All right. So at then, you know, they have this stupid, like, yeah, like this competition to see who had the most special, spousal moment in this particular dance studio. Yeah. Just, just be clear, I turned on time of my life in my own apartment by myself and reenacted your dancing. Okay. Well, I was on time of my life in my own apartment by myself and reenacted your dancing. Okay.

I was both parts. I lifted myself. See, and I scored points with my wife during this because I was like, see, if we had taken dance lessons before a wedding, this movie would be like us. And now it's not because I was busy. So we just hugged until the song was over. I'm sorry. Yeah, scored points. That's exactly what you were doing. I'll be dead soon. I promise. We also got the only, I'm pretty sure, non-crazy sentence of the whole movie when he's like,

at one point during the scene, he's like, okay, and by the way, just to circle back, God killing my wife, that's a point on my side for atheism. I just want to be clear because you seem to think. Right, but she's got a good counter. She's like, wait, maybe God put us together so we could, you know, mutually suck it up. Yeah, right, right. God put her there because he needed more platitudes.

And then she's like, Hey, do you want to dance with me? And because he's just bad at taking fuck signals, is he? He's just like, oh, these shoes are not great. Well, okay, just for a minute, though, but then I have to drive you for Thanksgiving. Again, you are underestimating our friend, he's power. If a girl asked he'd the dance, he would have invited other people somehow. They're in a crowded club. All the sudden it's a ping pong bar. He's challenging her very competitively. I thought who doesn't like competitive ping pong flirting?

Oh, listen, our listeners don't like loud ping pong places. He's a delightful, delightful ping pong bar in London. I don't know what you're talking about. Well, because you don't want to talk to anyone there. Yeah. Okay. Talk to a lot of people. So, okay. So then he flashes back to dancing with his wife, Willie's dancing with her. And we get more of that fucking youth pastor trying to fuck that 14 year old with his guitar. Well, they invented table tennis. Go ahead. It's also, can I just point out, there's a, it's a very weird thing to do like a dance with me. Honey, I've got work when you're a detective, right? Like he's an accountant.

He's being pulled away from his numbers, but he's like, ah, how important can the first 48 hours be? All right. The love is long and boring. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, the moral seems to be to this point. Don't kill yourself because an annoying big-boned hot Mexican lady might want to give you a hand job in a dance studio eventually. Is that am I following it correctly? I mean, I have taken that moral to hard. Yeah. They tried to write a song about that moral, but they just didn't do very well with it, but that's definitely the moral. Absolutely. The reason I'm alive, no illusion.

All right. Well, it looks like these characters need some private time. So we're going to step away for a minute. But first, let me give act three, the hard sell here. Willie come back to the spot. He picked her up just to find her jacket on a tombstone? Will she have to shit on his hood for him to realize she's fucking nuts? Is there anyone in this movie that I'm supposed to non-hate?

Find out the answers to these questions and more. We return for these so predictable, it might as well be an equation conclusion of saved by grace. I think this movie fails the Turing test several times. Several times. All right. So why don't we start by going around the table and say, and what we're thankful for. I'm thankful you guys decided to come down to Georgia for thanks giving. Wait, what we did in the sketch we did in reality. I'm in Cleveland and you're in New York because you have choice paralysis. I do not have choice paralysis. Cool. Where you going for Thanksgiving? I am. Tell me. Well, no, here's the thing is, is like, I'm going to do this

Robin Hood at real quick. Just let that go. I'm grateful for Robin Hood. Now, is this your thing about Kevin Costner again? Because I'm trying to eat, man. No, no, no for Robin Hood. Now, is this your thing about Kevin Costner again? Cause I'm trying to eat man. No, no, no. Robin Hood is an investing app that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETFs, options and cryptos all commission free. Wait, commission free. Okay. So here's the thing. Like on the one hand, you're trying to decide where you go. Cool. Great. That's right. Other brokerages charge up to $10 for every trade, but Robinhood doesn't charge commission fees. With Robinhood, you can trade stocks and keep all of your profits.

Well, that sounds smart and simple. Okay, but see the thing about options like for my situation would be like, it is easy to understand charts and market data. You can place a trade in just four taps on your smartphone. It's so simple. But best of all, I'm thankful Robinhood is giving our listeners a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help build their portfolio. All you have to do is sign up at awful.robenhood.com. That's awful.robenhood.com. Well, now I'm thankful for Robinhood 2. So I like Turkey and though also enjoy having not been to Turkey, it's also good that

say, part of literally anything concrete right now, literally anything. No. Well? No. Hahaha. From the breakout film, saved by Grace. Hey, man, are you okay? Comes the feel-good movie you didn't know you wanted. Fantastic. Because just because he's down and out.

Are you sure you're fantastic? I just hate you with my car. Didn't want that imp anyway. Doesn't mean he's feeling down. Seriously though, please get medical attention now. Couldn't, couldn't be better. No. Homeless guy. And you shut yourself.

Re-shit! You gonna finish that? Ha-ha-ha-ha! And we're back for more of this shit. When we last left our heroes, their Tolkien-esque trip across town continued into the deep throes of winter. And now, just to drag it on a little more, we rejoined them with non-specific engine problems. It is literally just like, aw, it's, I wanted him to look down at the engine.

It's just has a sign taped to it that says like this part of the movie is you guys walking. Yes. Yeah. This happens. This does happen. Yeah. He just we, the scene starts out. He's under the hood.

He's like, yep, it's dead. Just, just dead. There's a script stuck in the alternator. Broken. And again, this is a Christian movie trope that I am totally unfamiliar with. He's just like, well, cars broken. I guess we just leave it here and wander away.

Yes. Often to the distance we go, I wanted the black guy and the teenager from that eyes movie to drive by like, oh, I, no, no idea. But I'm sure if I got that reference, it would have been awesome. You got to watch all our episodes. But he's just like, we can't just leave the car here in the middle of the road. We're grown ups. We're going to go walking. She's like sticks a burning rag in the gas tank starts walking away. Ten cell Washington is joining them. Oh, okay. Cool. We're in an equalizer movie, everybody.

Well, and what I love about this the most is that she's like, no, no, we can still walk that far in time. And he's like, I don't think we can't, it's though she, him and the writers don't realize like my car no longer functions and has done some random street across town has implications beyond getting this chick to Thanksgiving on time. Right. So, yeah, so they walk so that they can beat those hobbits apparently. And she doesn't want to go the way he wants to go because she has bad memories of that road.

What's amazing is again, they turn this light moment into this super dark moment. It's like, uh, can we not go that way? My in-laws live that way. And he's like, in-laws and I'm right. It's like, no, they remind me of where my son died. And it's like, oh, all right, I'm going to put this rubber chicken away. Did not. That moment, right?

I wonder the in-laws to walk outside of their house and be like, hey, great. Good stuff. You guys fucking you you fucking sadness box guy. That's perfect. You were saying this guys guy are great for each other. He's been the worst. That's why guys are great for each other. He's been the worst. Oh, so, yeah. So then we have a, we have a flashback. She gets to have a sad flashback that starts with how awesome or in-laws were. She goes, my husband served in Afghanistan.

Rick goes, your husband served overseas as though to establish their audience that Afghanistan is not a North American country. You know, there was a large percentage of pureflix watchers just opening up an atlas Afghanistan. I think that's a new Mexico. I'm going to, I'm going to map quest it. Yeah. So, but the point of the flashback though is that her son wandered off to play hide and seek with grandpa and fell and drowned in their pool out

back, which had no gate around it or like, like 10 seconds. They're like playing with trucks. All right. Let's play hide and seek. One, two, three, four, and he's dead in the pool. Yeah. Again, the 24 version of this is these like, all right. one, and the kid runs. He must have run out of the back door, dived into the pool and been like, ah, first to die. I win, but I'm hiding in heaven. I wanted to pan over and the homeless guy would just be like standing there laughing, just like, yeah, I bumped him with my cart. That's got some hilarious today. And I've got to be honest. Okay. So look, I mean, if you've got a pool and a three year old, like you got to make some effort to keep those two things separate. Like this is

clearly grandpa and grandma's fault. That was a criminally negligent. And when we come out of the flashback, he's like, it's not your fault. And I'm very proud to say all of us have some version of, isn't it her fault? Isn't it? Isn't it? Well, it was grandpa and grandma's fault. But yeah, she brought what you need is a room full of pools to make it safer. For the good. You need a good guy with a pool. Yeah, exactly.

And then she responds to him. Just like a retired marine outside of a school with a baby pool. Just point. You guys want to buy a call from me? No, man. We don't. You want to hear about my divorce? Nope.

We also don't. Nope. None of that. It seems to me that she would have like such good memories with the one pool and such bad mirror. I feel like those things would bleed together in her mind at some point. That's true. Lots of lots of pool based memories. Now, here's the weird thing. She wraps up this memory by being like faith is believing the things we can't see. And I wanted him so bad to Zinger, just be like, like your kid going out the back door in the pool, right?

Something you didn't see. Dipped it empty. Bad mom. Well, we get that rubber chicken back out. Hold on, I got a vice views for him yet. So, okay. So now we cut to very violently to characters we haven't met, but this is his mom, Joey Lawrence's mom and his son, who he abandoned five years ago when the mom got killed getting ready for their Thanksgiving together.

And the only way I can describe this plot line in the movie is no, no, it's not over. It's cut to his son. Yes. And can we talk about mom for a second? Let's please. Mom's makeup is like she sat down for a free makeover at Macy's right after she called the girl a racial slur. That is the only way to explain this woman's physical.

So she sat down for a free makeover at Macy's. Exactly. Yeah. And by the way, the kid, the actor playing the kid would like to make it very clear that he's not a real actor. He's just somebody's kid, right? That kid is like, I mean, I know child actors, you don't always get the best, but that kid is painful to watch.

Yeah. He might as well end every line with is the movie over now. Cool. I want to go in my room and be gay. I also love that. Okay. So apparently mom leaves out a place setting for dad just in case he shows up one of these years, but he never does.

Well, not just a place setting. She prepares a Thanksgiving feast for 27 people just in case there's some of the parents. Right. And that's a handful of other seats, but with only a fork, which I thought was weird. It's kind of half-assed, but I want to see like a full Norman Bates Thanksgiving dinner performed by this person, but no. Oh, it would have been great.

But yeah, he gets sad because she's talking about his dad and his dad not being there. Yes. Grandma, can I eat this turkey in my room? Can I just wrote the Heath and Wright story? Okay. That's in it. My origin story without involved stuffing, not Turkey is one. Turkey's bullshit.

By the way, Turkey's a stupid. I don't like that's every other thing you could have for Thanksgiving is better. Like goose or ham or a brisket or whatever. I don't know. Hey, you've had you've had Lucinda's Turkey though. Yeah. That's a bit of brisket. I've had Lucinda's a ton of meat.

Yeah, I know that. That's don't tell Lucinda I know that. That's pretty. That's pretty better. She checks her Twitter like four times a year, but don't you? She's telling it. So yeah, so but the key here is that their Thanksgiving isn't very happy at all, even when Grandma makes it clear that there's cherry pie. Again, fuck you, Graham, pumpkin pie. Yes, yes, thank you. Maybe pecan. What are you doing? Cherry pie. Yeah. Where's the almond ice cream? Am I right? Nope. Okay. You had jokes? Yeah. So meanwhile, Rick and Grace are still walking together and hey, they happen by a church.

Let's stop and see if anyone finds Jesus while we're here. Oh, and the excuse she gives is why don't we go in here to warm up? Yeah, they're going to warm up inside an abandoned church. Churches when people are in them are fucking freezing. Let them go in their empty. There's also one really sad line in the scene. She apologizes to Joey Lawrence here. She's like, sorry about this whole weird walking thing that I've been making you do and like, you know, a whole stupid plot of the movie you're in.

And he's like, oh, don't worry. I had nothing better to do. And it was just like, wait too much truth and I like Joey Lawrence might not even know about the cameras. Like it's been making you in this, being this movie with me. No, it's like, I appreciate you not putting me directly in scenes

with any kids after the whole ankle bracelet situation. This is really, I think you guys is my family. So you're my next of kin. I'll tell you that. All right. So they walk into the church. She's very impressed by the church. She's like, Oh, it's so nice. I'm like, it's a hallway with pews in it and a church. And they for they all looked the fucking same. They all look the same. And I, my notes here are just like, Oh, you can move those benches, put some beds in for like that homeless guy. This movie is now, I just opened a hospital that insists a couple hundred people give 10% of their income to it. I mean, there's lots

of things that we could do instead of with this building. Yeah. But so they start talking about going to church and how his wife was a church goer. And she's like, Oh, you're a very good man. I know this because you brought your kid to a church and let priests spend time with him unsupervised. That's how I can tell you're moral. Yeah. He's moral because he went to church because his wife went to. Dude, I would go to church if my wife went to. I don't give a fuck. Well, Ed specifically, he went to church and didn't watch football. Like they were ready with that line. Like church is better than football. Colin Kaepernick hates freedom.

Cut. Okay. No, no. Maybe there's just Jaguar's fans. I would have rather been in church. And then there's this, okay, maybe it was just me, maybe I was bored, but when she says, hey, do you mind if I pray before we go? You thought she was going to go yank one out on the altar, right?

There was a very like, he's just me. He's just standing there watching her pray. Okay, it's me. Yeah, it was a little weird. She'll say, I had a light I love here where she says God's ways are higher than ours and I mean My ways are pretty fucking high, but that would like if that was true and that's how she meant it That would make their religion make sense right if somebody just came up to him said what about not the fish that Swim some of your dick and you like oh fuck I didn't even think about not

No, cuz I wanted a fish that goes up water What what dick My dick get out you guys are messing me. Don't though. Are you mad at me? Is that what you're doing? Are you mad at me for the baby? Oh this water get all over the floor All right So I did it so then she goes pray. And her prayer is basically like dear God, please let this movie come to a conclusion in the next 20 minutes or so with the two of us falling in love. This and obviously him going home for Thanksgiving and my family

turning out to be dead. I wanted him to just yell, don't talk about me to God like them. Not even here. I'm here. You can hear you. God. God said, you should let me open up your sadness box. No, no, stop it. Oh, and we, we didn't mention this at the time, but when he hit the homeless guy's cart full of cans or whatever, she looked in his sadness box. Well, he was out there talking to the homeless guy. That's why that scene existed so that we would give her a moment alone with the sadness box. Well, he was out there talking to the homeless guy. Right. That's why that scene existed so that we would give her a moment alone with the sadness box. So she knows good and well what's in there now. Oh, I hope she switched it out for like paper snakes or something. A bang flag. Come on. I got you. That would be pretty funny. You thought you were going into the quiet, but you're still here. So you're still here.

Classic. So they go to leave the church and she's like, Oh, I left my person in the church. He's like, I'll go back after it. Maybe I'll find Jesus while I'm in there and a bullet. Yeah. Right. So she took the bullet out of the gun. She saw a gun in his sadness box. She says, Oh, I'm going to take this bullet out of it because obviously this is suicide.

What other reason would a cop have for carrying a loaded fire arm? Oh my God, that would be so amazing. If later they get cornered by some drug lords and he goes, don't worry, you're safe. And she's like, I thought I was a suicide movie. Not a vengeance movie. I got some terrible. Can I speak to you over here for a second? Not in front of the door. I've seen the deer hunter. All right. So now, but now he prays, right? He hedges his bets though. He says, God, if you're up there, which I feel like is, if you're going to pray, go all the fucking way, right? And I did not pay super close attention during this movie because it's terrible and boring.

So I just noticed this where he notices the bullet and I was like, does she leave the bullet as some kind of threat? But I didn't realize she had looked in the box until I watched the movie a second time. So I thought she was just like going to be out there and running her thumb across her throat. Just like, you get me to my fucking Thanksgiving dinner. Well, what I love is the idea that like on Monday, some preacher is going to walk in there and find a bullet sit in there and be like, Oh, fuck,

I should have paid them back. I shouldn't have given them a nuclear bomb made a pinball parts. Damn. No, this is good. Now I got a backup sadness box bullets. Oh, so now she wants him to cut across the field, presumably where she will disembowel him and eat his heart for Thanksgiving. Look, right? Like this is clearly this isn't a porn setup anymore. So this has to be her killing him out in the middle of nowhere somewhere. Okay, but no, it's his old little league field. Yep. That's another place. The whole writing process of this fucking movie was so much of people sitting in a room going, where else to memories happen? Hold on, I had it bulls where do you spools twice so we put a camera back

on Joey Lawrence just fucking see what he does maybe I'll talk a little eager something out of it and his false memories are so he's like I remember mom and dad never missed a game dad used to say to me make sure nobody ever murders your wife. It was weird to time. But now I'm like, what? He like blow up a plane with his brain. So yeah, so, but this is also he can admit that he was always too busy being at work to watch his son play baseball.

And also that he's pretty sure stalking is a sufficient replacement for parenting when it comes to his son. Yes. This is amazing. She goes, you've never seen your son in five years. He goes, oh, I see him every day. Sorry. Sorry. I follow him and stalk him. Yeah. He doesn't see me. I do see him though. Yeah. But then she plays the at least your son isn't dead card. That's a pretty good card to have in your hand, right? That shuts him the fuck up at least. So then they walk some more and we get another amazing line and it's the line itself is so fucking stupid that even if she delivered it right, it would be really stupid, but she delivers it wrong. So this is what she literally says.

Quote. So is Ricky short for something like Richard or Ricky? And again, this movie has this crazy meta moment where he's like, no, it's just Ricky. My name is Ricky. I was born Ricky and she's like, really? And he's like, no, that's stupid. My name is Richard. You don't name your child, Ricky, unless you want him to stand on top of a big boy and eventually solidify into a giant magical statue that curses all the past I. No, it's short for Ricka, Ricka Brown.

Who you fucking idiot? It's Richard, yes. Jesus. And then she says, she explains that her name is Grace because it was part of her parents' brainwashing efforts. And he's like, well, that's nice. That's nice. Also, they crossed their Christian movie tropes here where she's like, well, you know, my parents were missionaries, but my father abandoned us. Oh, he was a bad. He was a Jewish mission. Yeah. He's dead?

Can he be dead? He's definitely better. Can we go back? We can't go back. Why can't we go back? I feel like we should be able to go back. This is a script. Yeah, no, this, you know what?

This script was written in Mario universe where you can only go forward. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Also, as they're wrapping up this scene, leaving the little league field, he says, you don't have some rare disease you're dying of. Do you? Fade to black. Oh, you're winning our sadness contest by a lot. Do you know a terrible disease too? Yeah, puppy cancer. I'm actually a puppy with cancer. I'm a bunch of puppies and a lady. So I want to turn and be like, no, but we ruled that out in the script writers meeting.

Doing doing a different stereotypical ending. I feel like they were hedging their bets at that point. Yeah. But at this point, he just finally realizes that this whole time, she's been taking him to his mom's house, not her family's house. What? Now. Right. Now, this is supposed to be like the good ending, right? Like he's going to go see his family finally on Thanksgiving.

Yeah. But just to be clear, he's already missed Thanksgiving dinner trying to get a hand job in church from Hitchhhiker like that's the that he didn't get that he didn't get it didn't even get the handy right no exactly and mom by the way is ecstatic to see him for the first time in five years and is also ecstatic that he is brought a strange woman with him yeah she seems equally excited about seeing

both of them. I also love how they split up the reunion that he has with his mom and the reunion he has with his son, right? Because he's like, Hey, his, his son here. And she's like, he's next door so that we could split up the reunion scenes. I'm going to be happy to see you. And he's not. So we figured it was hard to write both of those. There was a lot of cross cross talk. It didn't really work. It's hard to write more than two characters at a time. So yeah, so that we get a talking to mom montage over Thanksgiving dinner. Luckily, they don't make us listen to what these people are saying. I would love to hear this montage though. It's just like, so then my sun drowns and I'm like,

what? So I bring all my belongings to the side of the road. Wait for someone to drive me to where I want to be. Yeah, but so the montage wraps up and then Luke comes in and he's like, Dad, wow, I was next door. I feel like you could have just come next door and said, Hey, I'm over here. And again, Ricky's character, the protagonist seems confused that his son who he abandoned for five straight years isn't like awesome. There we go. Yeah. Wow.

Tokyo while, am I right? Was there a trabric? I mean, we do live in a big, long town. So that's true. It is a very long town. Yeah, but even when he gives Luke his old baseball glove, he's not quite ready to forgive him for the five years of abandonment. It's the best.

It's so meta. He's like, I brought you your baseball glove and he's like, you abandoned me for five years. We could play catch. No, we can't. You abandoned me for five years. It's already broken in. It's all broken in. We're wrapped in room and back for you. No, you're the dick. You abandoned your son for five years. You're the bad guy forever. Well, that's the thing too is like this kid storms off and he goes, like, he hates me. And I'm like, you are profoundly hateable. You didn't have to abandon me for five years This my father and I hate you too

You said to walk into the goddamn movie going hey bib and I already hated you and I love how long it took him dad to realize He was evil for that like the kid one more time They go through this whole thing and then kids like so you want to just like hug it out and then you're my dad again. And he's like, yes. Yeah. Sorry. No, obviously second. No. You were joking. You're joking. That was the rhetorical question. I get it now. I get it now. But at least Grace is very proud of him for reaching out to his son.

Yeah. And again, everyone else in this movie is acting like Luke is the problem. Again, Luke's like, I feel like I'm fucking taking crazy pills. What are you talking about? He just walked in with a woman. He's fucking. He was like, hi, son, this is the woman. We could all assume that I'm fucking happy Thanksgiving. Yeah. Yeah. I was rooting so hard for Luke to just like walk out and rock straight into a pool and drown. Right in the middle of grace being like, I'm proud of you, Ricky. You're a good dad. You didn't drown your kid at all.

And then Rick just turned to where he goes. Drunk card. I win. I win now. You are right back in the game though. That's what the sadness contest that's pretty what though. I got a guy for this guy who does dead kid and pool cleanings really good. And I gave him a five star Yelp review. So you know he's gonna he's gonna treat you right. Let me give you my guy. I got a sadness aquarium

guy. Yeah. So Luke goes in storm's office and goes to his room not to cry at all, but to listen to his music. And this actor again, it's been a while since we've had a Christian movie actor who has no idea what to do during the not talking burners acting. This kid might as well like punch his hand into his own chest and like all inside his body and be like, yeah, there we go. But also if this kid just started jerking off, this movie would be realistic. Yeah, right, right. But no, he's listening to his music. Dad comes up and he wants to do

the talking to him through the door thing where he promises to never leave him again and then leaves I will I will never leave you again and the kid goes to the door and he's gone Yeah And dad's given like a Resetful second apology to he's like All right one more time sorry. I abandoned you Uh feels like I already said that downstairs more time. Sorry, I abandoned you. Uh, feels like I already said that downstairs, but I'm sorry, I guess what can we run through this all fast? And the kid, the kid's like already

like running his hands along the door. It's like it's a sexual moment between, it's really weird. Yeah. And also I love the, you know, they, they lived the moment where he's like, yeah, yeah, we can do stuff that dads and sons do, like make soapbox racers and play on the ham radio. Maybe he makes some models with glue. It gets all so fucking outdated and antiquated that you know that they sat around in the fucking writers room going, what has anyone seen a kid in the last 12 years? What was he doing?

All right. Who hears divorced and doesn't have custody. Again, that's all of us. All right, what would you do with your son? Don't say kill him to get back at that bitch, David. Don't get that. Sorry. There we go.

All right, I told you we're putting that in the next movie. Yeah. Grace by save. So Yeah, so then the dad who would never leave his son again leaves. Yep. And apparently his parenting is fixed now that is done. Yeah, just slides the baseball mid under the door, a little bit of oil.

All right, doesn't have to be for baseball. Get creative, whatever. I'm going to tell you something son. A condom, a toothpaste tube, a towel and some rubber bands. Enjoy the NAN appeal microwave classics. Yeah. So now in seconds, Max, you got to take it easy though.

What you thinking? You will boil your dick, my son. All right. So now that his parenting is fixed, he goes downstairs and borrows his mom's car. His mom, he hasn't seen in five years. Okay. Can I borrow the car?

I've got to drop off someone I met today. Obligations or obligations? Am I right, mom? I haven't seen in five years. Yes. I love the idea that he drops her off somewhere and then he just goes and shoots some stuff in his mom's car. I go back to the church to get his bullet.

Yeah. You guys seen one bullet. I just, it's just need it for a thing. Oh, I used it to kill the kid. I was molesting. I didn't know that was your bullet. You thought it was your one bullet? Yeah, because I was going to take him out once it for a whole thing.

Okay. It's funny though that we both had one bullet. Well, can I get your one bullet then or did you also use that? I'm a list of a lot of kids. All right. I'm gonna cut out everything except for that one. All right, and now they're gonna visit her family, right? That that was the whole thing.

They were going to visit her family, but it turns out that her family lives in a graveyard. And it's so good. Cause here's the thing, right? It's such a predictable ending. And yet it makes no fucking sense. No, right? Somehow this is the perfect ending for this movie. And it negates the entire goddamn movie. Again, as you said at the time, who was she gonna call if he had a cell phone? I just want, oh, I want a flash cut to urges me like, bring, bring. Why don't you come see me at the place? I'll be right there. And I wanted him so bad at this point to be like, okay, so then it doesn't fucking matter if it was Thanksgiving day. Like I could have got you here tomorrow that I could have stayed with my son, but you

made it seem like there was a dinner. That's shitty. And honestly, as crazy as she's been up until that now, like if she had gone over to the graveyard and started puffing around her dead family for Thanksgiving. crazy as she's been up until that now. Like if she had like gone over to the graveyard and started puffing around her dead family for Thanksgiving. Oh, they've been amazing. You know, like he shouldn't be shocked by that at all. There's a shovel and some turnover dirt.

She just picks up a toddler and she's like, Oh, hello, Mr. Reed. Would you like some turkey? She's got a turkey skeleton. Oh, movie would have been worth it. Yeah. And also this is where he noticed as he looks at the headstone for her husband

who died in Afghanistan. And she's like, Hey, your husband died on the same day as my wife. Neat. Yeah. Their God has a weird plan, huh? Gabriel, Gabriel, get in here. Yes, God. What's up? Did you match up Rick and Grace?

For soulmates, yeah, I did. Well, then how come they aren't married? Uh, they aren't? No, no, look, she's with this marine guy, and he's with her. It doesn't... Oh, weird. Ah. What's the bit of mix-up in, you know, Cupid's whole thing?

I'll talk to him. No, no, it's too late for that. I guess we'll just have to get rid of the spouses. Get rid of them? Yeah, I mean mean nothing to be done about it now, but It looks like there they have kids so no No, they belong with their soul mates So get get rid of them Okay

Okay, but but like aren't I think I wonder why we did something so evil. Don't worry about it. We'll tell them they got a fight in an embassy. Old joke. Yeah, but when we recorded this it was topical. Brand new. I mean it will. It's will. It's topical right now. Like that just came out. So people are going to do like, oh, so like the West Wing, cool, cool. All right. What? Let's both name the days that our exes died. Go. Thanks for giving us. Get out of here.

Pumping and apparently, yeah, they're in love now. Yeah, he has his whole like this impossibly cheesy. My heart is beating for you, line. And they kiss, right? And somehow in a movie that I will say has had some sexual tension in it. There is zero sexual tension to this kiss. No, it's negative sexual tension, right? Yeah.

And now, first of all, it's the classic Christian movie peckin hug, you know, it's mostly hug. Yeah, absolutely. The peckin hug. But also they kisses the both actors simultaneously realize their gay when they finally kiss. It's like a back to the future where she's like, I feel like I'm kissing my brother It was like one of those moments maybe super hot. We read that movie

Evermind All right, so now he goes we cut to have back at suicide bridge talking to his his dead wife Like hey, honey, so I'm plowing this litina chick now. It's going pretty good. You'll never guess winner husband died. You'll never. Yeah, this is crazy. Okay, name what day. Oh, he's like, hey, are you? Are you fucking a dead marine dude in heaven? Because like, honestly, that would be so funny. That would be an orientation together probably. Oh, heavens, okay.

Name what day your living spouse started fucking someone else. Thanks, giving. What? This is fun. This is fun. It's like that documentary about the triplets. And just in case your Christian movie bingo wasn't quite filled out yet, we're going to end this movie with Joey Lawrence and the kid, the Luke, playing catch so that you can get

your bad sportsing out. Okay. Question. I, my father never played catch with me. No, you don't say Eli. Yeah, not because he wouldn't of. I'm sure, but I think at one point he showed me a baseball glove and I like put it on and did a Hannibal Lecter speech with it and he was like, that's enough of that. So is that all catch is? Do you just throw a ball back and forth?

I mean, it's throwing too. Yeah. It's throwing it. Throw it and catch. That's just too long to say. I now have zero sympathy for all movie characters who didn't get to play catch catch. Look super boring after zero seconds. I mean, it's not fun like a mice in our exercise, but it's free. We'll play catch it. Thanks, giving them. All right. We'll play catch it. Thanks,. Okay. Yes. All right. Well, if we've learned anything from Christian movies, it's that nothing we ever see turns out to have been the dumbest or the worst. So when this movie's method of killing off the loved one eventually gets outstupided,

how will our hero have lost their wife, slash husband husband slash child. Uh, there the husband will choke to death on the child. What? I was thinking the mom, the wife, would die of cancer while hoisting a piano on a pulley on Killa baby. Oh, classic piano baby death. Yeah, no, those are good. All right. Well, that's going to do it for a review is saved by Grace, but that's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need to get you excited for the second course. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. This is a listener

recommendation. It was pointed out that while we've done some Hindu crazy, done some Muslim crazy, we've done some Jewish crazy and we have done obviously quite a bit of Christian crazy. We haven't done any Wicken crazy. So we're going to be looking at the viral sensation Ember days. All right. All right. Well, that's the religion with the most boobs in it.

I'm pretty sure. So we can hope. Yeah. All right. So with that to look forward to we're going to bring up episode 170 to a merciful close. Once again, huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show go.

If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash God Huffle. And thereby, you're literally access to an ad free version of every episode. You could also help us a ton by leaving us five star review on iTunes. And by sharing this show on all your various

social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this, show be sure to check out our simply shows the scaling of the Ascitation Needed and the Skeptocrat available in iTunes Stitcher and wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email GodolphinmovesaGmail.com, legal services for this podcast are provided by the law, this is a P.A.

and retours Tim Robinson takes care of our social media, our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotnik of Evil Drafts, our Mars, all other music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a check in your life this week for Heathen right knee libos to come, no illusions, promise to work hard to earn another chunk next week until then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Joey Lawrence went on to join Gary Bears 27 to 21 on Thursday and Cecil cried into his stuffing like a bitch.

That'd be cool if that happens. Rick tried to get a threesome going in the afterlife. It did not go over well. I want to see the sequel. I I want to see the sequel. I... I... Oh, hello, Mr. One Second. Sorry. One Second.

This is a weird bit this lady's doing. This is too much of a... Sorry. One second. That's a weird bit this lady's doing. Match caught on my headphones. And she pulled me face down onto my desk. For a while, that whole time you heard me saying one second was me trying to free myself without like throttling my dog. All right The preceding podcast was a production of puzzle and a thunderstorm LLC copyright 2018 all rights reserved