God Awful Movies - 187: Gam187 Reefer Madness

Episode Date: March 19, 2019

Live from Denver, Colorado, the guys team up for a review of "Reefer Madness", the 1938 cult classic about weed causing you to drive really fast and murder people. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Visita logitravel.com y reserva tu próximo viaje a Marruecos. Un país con un arte culinario tan diverso como delicioso. Una gran variedad de expresiones artísticas representativas y un destino que promueve firmemente el turismo responsable hacia las personas y el medio ambiente. ¿Nos vamos? Recuerda, reserva tu próximo viaje a Marruecos con lo logitravel.com. ["My dreams are logitravel." And then Jack comes in, but Ralph can tell

that Jack is there to kill him. So Ralph pre-kills Jack with the giant stick that he had in his ass. With his cartoon golf club Like he might as well scroll through a bunch of weapons like he's linked Master sword yeah master Oh if he kills him God awful movie. Welcome back to the Gamecast Live from Denver, Colorado.

Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. Now, this is, of course, the podcast where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema or whatever the fuck Eli picks apparently. I'm your host, Noel Luzonz, and of course, joining me from stage right, please welcome my good friend Heath and rights. Oh, he's reaching for the later cheese. It's now Scotch. Oh, he's got now Scotch, gotcha.

All right, and of course, also joining us from stage right. Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! All right, and of course, also joining us from stage right, please put your hands together for my bad friend Eli Bosnick. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Ely, are you a joint? I am a... I'm a marijuana. You're a reaper? I'm a reaper. I'm a gateway drug. Well, so here's the problem. I'm having enough trouble with the... I'm not allowed to smoke on stage thing already,

and now you're reminding me of that. I taped myself into this. He needs some help. He needs some help. Do you need help getting dressed, Eli? Relax. Oh, you're too harsh. This is why you're alone.

I spent a lot of time trying to think how to incorporate my naked ass. And when we were getting ready, I was like, it'd be funnier if I spun out and I just wasn't wearing anything on my bottom at all. And our super duper nice light sky Tyler had to come over and be like, that's illegal. And we had a fight that was very one-sided. Me to Tyler.

We're cool now. Yeah. We also didn't tell Tyler what you were actually going to do in case that was illegal too. What Tyler doesn't know, don't hurt him. All right, so Andrew, if you're listening at home, this is what you get for not coming. All right, so without further ado, tell us Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched N-word madness. Stay with me.

No, I will explain. I will explain. We're in Colorado. They are waiting for you. They were, I don't need to explain. I feel like you watched the wrong movie. Alright. Alright, this is it.

We watched Refer Madness. It's the story of finding a new title for the racist propaganda movie you made called N-word Madness. Oh, okay, all right. That's very clearly what happened. And then doing like a searcher in a place for every African American reference

subbing in marijuana instead. That's how they made this. It's dog whistle of the movie. Yes. Yes. Except even more obvious, it's just like yelling, dog whistle. It's like, dog, right?

Biannasi. Yeah, no, so it's very clear in this movie that they're trying to say, don't smoke marijuana or you'll end up like the blacks. But this movie was made in 1938, so they weren't allowed to mention them or show them on screen. So they never actually say it.

It's quite amazing how they dance around it. So Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you hate drugs, but you love airplane wing-sized lapels, you will love this movie. At any point I expected somebody to say, no, I don't like drugs. And they just fly off. All right, so anybody who is at Platinum Night

already knows this about me, but I'm going to share it with the rest of you now. Including last night, when we watched this with a Platinum Night in Tendee's, Tendee's rather sorry, I believe I've watched this movie something like 80 times. I fucking love this movie. It's like my favorite terrible movie of all time. Does that put me in the lead? By far, yes.

Okay, is there anybody else out here who's got me beat? Okay, good. Maybe for all I know, 10 of you are raising your hand. Like the director of Refer Madness stands up from his wheelchair. No illusions! They run at each other really slowly with swords. We're both full-we're, but I'm high, so I miss. Yeah, right, no, I get it. It's Lucinda in makeup, she pulls off the mask. Varmant hammer.

And if you'd like to buy your varmant hammer, we're going to have him for... Alright, so quick before we piss my wife off anymore. Is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at?

I would best worst office space or a drug kingpin It's it's this tiny little room with a desk like a shitty Ikea desk and a calculator and For adding up the drugs Just crunching numbers on drug it might as well be a mall kiosk with like sea salt cream and heroin so dumb

all right so there was a lot of ones I could have gone with here but I'm gonna go you see here I'm gonna go best worse bullet hole oh there is a point in the movie where one of the characters gets shot in the back and you're like, oh she's got a freckle? Where are you going for freckle? No, Bullet hole. Oh, she must be dead. They very clearly started to apply that makeup and she was like, take-offs and they were like, all right. Do you have a real gun for some reason? And of course, I'm gonna to go with best worst smoking. Oh, yes.

It's pretty obvious that the people who made this movie never smoked marijuana, never met anyone who smoked marijuana, but I think they might not be human because there are several that are just like right in the ear. Eli is now miming smoking through his ear and or nose. Sorry, I got to clue in the folks listening back home. I am not going to tell you what he's doing now. Did you just lower yourself? If you wanted to know what he just did, yeah, to come to the fucking life show guys. I ain't saying that out loud.

I'm on well! Yeah, he's always with me. All right. So Andrew asked me very clearly not to say why we have to take a break at the beginning here, but we're gone up. So, Sid Ty, we'll be back in a moment with all the paranoid granny nightmares that are. Refer madness. Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Tsk! Thanks for having me over for a slumber party, Heath. Um, I mean, you broke in, so not really like the way it's- All right, toothbrushothbrush time. Oh, yeah.

What are you doing? What are you doing? I called up Bunk. Okay, well, I mean, one, we don't have a bunk bed. I told you that. Yeah, we didn't. Okay, and two, what was that? What were you just doing?

Oh, I brushed my teeth. That's... That's your toothbrush? Yeah, yeah, it's got sponge Bob. Uh, not? Not anymore, it doesn't. Dude, you need a new toothbrush. Hehehe, yeah. Probably, but like, what am I gonna do?

Right? Can't just go around. I mean, once you just try Quip. Okay, uh, you're bald. Nope, bald. What am I gonna do? Right? Can't just go around. I mean, once you just try Quip. Okay, uh, you're bald. Nope. Nope. No, Quip, the brand. It's the better electric toothbrush created by dentists and designers.

Okay, Mr. Fancy. Not everyone can afford a tooth-a-tron 2000 or whatever that is. That's the best part. Quip was designed to make brushing your teeth more simple, affordable, and even enjoyable. Brush heads are automatically delivered on a dentist recommended schedule every three months for just $5. Wait, just five bucks?

Yeah, plus it has a built-in two-minute timer that pulses every 30 seconds to remind you when to switch sides, helping guide a full and even clean. Right. Because you're supposed to brush your teeth for two minutes. Two minutes, yes. Two minutes, right.

And a quip takes all the work out of proper dental care. That's why I love quip and why they're backed by over 20,000 dental professionals. That's a lot of professional dentals. And a quip starts at just $25. And if you go to getquip.com slash awful right now, you get your first refill pack for free with a quip electric toothbrush. That's your first refill pack free

at getqip.com slash awful. You know what, Heath? I'm convinced. I'm gonna give it a try. Now, last one in there, jammy's is a rotten egg. No, don't, we don't have jammy's. Okay, and you fell down. You fell real bad. You hurt? You hurt. Welcome, gentlemen, to the foist ever

rightest meeting for Riefa Madness. Here, here, man, oil. Now, but I'm gonna give you a little bit of a Welcome gentlemen to the first ever writers meeting for Riefer Madness. Here, here I have an oil. Now before we begin, has anyone here ever smoked a Mary Jew Wanna? Not, of course not. What about an OctaRoon? Okay, not a problem. Does anyone know anyone who's ever smoked Melania Wana?

Not really? What? What are my friends with an Octavrune? Okay, does anybody know anything about the drug that we're about to write a movie about? Uh... Octavrunes love it. Good enough, let's get cracking.

Like the cookie? Tsk, tsk. Tsk. And we're back for the breakdown live from Gallo Rado. Excellent job, you guys sound like you're having fun. We are going to start this movie off, reflecting on how well that 1938 soundtrack held up over the years. Yeah, no, a question. Why did all music sound like the orchestra was melting

when you were a kid? When I was a kid in 1938. All music composed by Victorian ghost. Okay, let me be perfectly honest with you. I love the fact that you make the old jokes because now, whenever anybody meets me, they go, oh, you look so young. Thank you. Thank you for that.

So, okay. So then we're going to get the credits. And I only wrote down one name because I thought this was representative of all the names. One of the actresses' names was Thelma White. Refer madness. Giving Mormon movie whiteness a run for its money. of all the names, one of the actresses' names was Thelma White. Pfft. Refer madness. Giving Mormon movie whiteness a run for its money.

Yes. Yes. Oh, this is the whitest cast and list of characters. I wrote down a few of the names of the characters. Oh, please. Mary Bill, Ralph, May, Jack Agnes, and Blanche. Blanche literally means white leaders. That means.

So, okay, so we get two like, pre-roll title cards. The first one comes up and says, the incidents in this movie are fictional. Buy a wider margin than usual. But then the second one, it starts off like it's gonna be a regular title card, right? It just says, this motion picture you are about to witness may startle you. It would not be possible otherwise to sufficiently emphasize the frightful toll I wrote this whole time.

frightful toll of the new drug menace, which is destroying the youth of America in alarmingly increasing numbers. And you're like, wow, that was verbose. And then it starts scrolling. And you're like, wow, that was for boasts. And then it starts scrolling. Oh, God, it's a Trump tweet. Yes. Oh, it was a Trump speech by the end. It was his CPAC speech. You know, the guy paused for 11 minutes

in between three sentences. Yes. Ha. What? And then it ends in Michelle Obama. Wait, fuck. No, wait, but... No, it doesn't. But yes, so they're trying to explain how awful marijuana is with this thing.

So they start explaining what it does to you. Again, I've written it down. It says, its first effect is sudden, violent, uncontrollable laughter. But violent, though. Yeah. And some of the other terrible effects were besides laughter, cartoon visuals, space expands, time slows down, and you stop being an asshole. He is.

Yes. And then it says, you don't want this. Yeah. Don't you? I feel like you want that. It's like you want that. I mean, they told me I couldn't smoke on the stage, but guess what I was doing when they told me that.

So yeah, but then it ends. But then at the end of that, though, wait, after it says all that nice good stuff about weed, and then it's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, nice good stuff about weed, and then it's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, so you kill people and shit. We almost forgot. Oh, sorry. Plus you kill a baby. It was someone not convincing their teenage son,

the title card. There was space expands and time slows down, and you'll look at rape by ghosts. There we go, raped by ghosts. She didn't like that one. That did the trick. Black ones, okay. And this.

We got a lot of black ghosts in the audience tonight. So yeah, but so this whole title guard ends with it saying, you know, that, that, that, that, because the dread marijuana may be coming, I'm sorry, that, that, that, that, because the dread marijuana may be coming, I'm sorry, coming shit, maybe reaching fourth next for your son or daughter. And then it says that, that, that, or yours. Who the fuck were you talking about? Or a different watcher of the movie, however many you are.

I don't know. What do you think, Frank? Do you think this title card is talking about? I don't know. They didn't say or yours. Wait, wait, wait many you are. I don't know. What do you think, Frank? Do you think this title card is talking about, I don't know, they didn't say, oh, yours is a second time. Wait, wait, wait, oh, wait, my daughter's fine. Damn it. Yes.

Fuck, this is scary now. All right. Taking this movie very seriously. So. All right, so then we got to some stock, fresh off the presses video and some headlines about, please waging a war on brown people at marijuana. And, yeah.

And then this settles into a meeting about the anti-marijuana seminar at the Parent Teacher Association tonight. Yeah, and we get some of those headlines too. We get to like the newspaper scrolling down. Oh, yeah, yeah, where it's like dope peddlers caught in high school. Right. Original script translation.

Black people caught book learning. Oh, wait, no, I like the translation game. How about federal agents aid police in drug war? Aid police in race war. Okay, no, right, right? Uh, Fred Trump marches with KKK. That was last one. That was last one.

Community events, he's great turnout. Let's find people on both sides. Yeah. Oh, shit. All right, so, all right, so now we're going to meet the main guy, right, the high school principal, who I have down is a man who would look out of place anywhere but trying to resurrect LBJ with lightning. He, yes. He looks like the Wright brothers first attempts. The lapels are just everywhere. Yeah, but

he's there to warn everybody about the dangers of marijuana. Basically, they're to explain everybody. The only person who can stop a bad guy with a joint is a good guy with a PTA. And then, oh, God. And then he goes into this bit where he's like explaining all the terrors of weed. This is where they start showing stock footage. And I have to point this scene out because he's like recently in Brooklyn, there was an entire city block growing marijuana and they show this marijuana.

You're like, you can tell who saw the movie right away, right? It's, it looks like cotton, right? Like these tiny, itty bitty little buds in the house. It's just, you're just looking at and going like, hope you didn't pay 20 bucks for that shit man. It's your dad's weed. You know when you came home from college and your dad was like, let me show you something, he opened his sock drawer

and a leather bag full of weed for some reason. That's this weed. Our dad's had different weed. Yeah, your dad. My dad was a cop man, He had all the latest sweet. They say at one point, they go, you make cigarettes out of the dried leaves and berries of the marijuana plant.

I still want to watch this guy try to get high. Why do the berries keep popping? I'm gonna watch this guy try to get high. Why do the berries keep popping? That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I'm gonna watch this guy try to get high. Why do the berries keep popping? And then he had to convince us that it's even more dangerous

than heroin or, well, it wasn't cocaine because I was still in Coca-Cola at the time, I think. But that was encouraged and still. Yeah, right. They're like, it's just dangerous. It's opium and heroin. I'm like, no, and that's the same fucking thing. But this is also the part where they show the cops with thousands and pounds of heroin

shoveling it into an incinerator. Ha-ha-ha! Yeah, we invented free-basing heroin that day. It was a weird day. Sorry, and not enough. This is marijuana is even worse than heroin. I'm a principal. It seems like that would cause a problem in the police department.

I say boys, I was burning that heroin coming along? Like, really? Really good. Yeah, I gotta say, at first boss we were like, oh man, this is gonna be a whole lot of work. I don't want to show them, but now I do. I really do. Stop! So cool.

Very cool. All right. All right. Well, that's the spirit. Looks like you burned it all. Damn. Damn. Sure did, boss.

Hey, real quick. You got any other heroin for us to burn? Just a little, like maybe in your pockets? Eager. I like that. You guys are eager. Your boys are on your way to the top. Yeah. So just a little more heroin? Maybe. You know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood. I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood. I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood.

I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood. I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood. I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood. I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood. I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood. I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood. I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood. I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood.

I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood. I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood. I'm in the neighborhood of the neighborhood. at that for the people at home to go, oh my god, did Eli suck his dick? Is that what they're laughing at? That's about how long it would take. Everyone at home? Yes. And I am one of those good ones. You know what I'm talking about? Because I'm a big boy, so I got to make up for it.

Remember that singer of YouTube clip of her working it? That's me right now in your earphones. That's what I did. What's happening? You didn't see that clip? He's coming. Oh, I could bring him back with a lid. He's coming with a lid.

Blow on the microphone. He's saying no. Very vociferous, Lane. All right. So, and it's my job to transition back to the movie, guys. Feel sorry for me. Okay. So now the... We got speaking of black people? That's where my ghost sit.

Oh, I didn't get to sit. Hey, what do you call your African American ghost TV love? What's that? Your boo. Oh my God. I love what's that? Your boo. Oh my God. I love you so much. That's such a fucking good pun.

This is what you don't hear at home because no one's like, guys, it's for the morning! I'll get like that eventually. That's why they took me to fucking Denver, guys. They're like, no, no, no, no, it'll be cool. We'll get all the way through our bit. All right. So, That's why they took me to fucking Denver guys. They're like, no, no, no, no, it'll be cool. We'll get all the way through our bits. All right.

So we go back to the principal. And he goes like, look, I know a lot of this sounds like unsubstantiated bullshit, but don't worry. I have an entirely fictitious story to tell you, so you know how true it all is. And that leads us into a flashback where we're going to meet May. Now May is the marijuana queen of the city that we're in. And we meet her being awoken up by a 1930s spy detective. Just this character will never find the time to take off his hat.

He's just constantly walking in and being like, all right, I'm just no place to really. All right, I guess I'll wake up my wife. Come on, let's get, I'll meet you to hold a hat. So you know, he's 1938 casual, which is where you move the hat back, right? Like you're here for business, but then you're like, no, it's time to relax. You get home, you take off your hat, there's another smaller hat underneath then.

So yeah, but he wakes up, man. He's like, come on, may wake up. You gotta sell more drugs to high school kids. And man, he says, I don't want to sell them to high school kids though, Jack. And he says, but you got to, that's the whole pot of the movie, see? If it's just adults who are engaged in a mutually consensual transaction,

it's really hard for us to make this look bad. So, and then, of course, the doorbell rings and in walk three potents. But 1938 potents. But 1938 potents. Oh. You could tell they were weed smokers because the pocket squirted and matched the tie. It was very embarrassing. These guys were hardcore.

Their vests didn't match their pants. It was crazy. So yeah, so he's off to, oh, this is also the amazing, amazingly salacious putting the stockings on scene. Yeah, so Chloe, 1936 Chloe Savigny's grandmother is two people in the audience have seen Brown Bunny and are like, reference!

Everyone else is like, Chloe, who? But she goes and she's in the bedroom and she like puts on a stocking. And this was so salacious when they distributed this film the first time, they offered a version without this scene. They were like, case you don't want to gizz in your pants,

we got a version without thigh in it. You just know there was 1936 Eli being like, can I have the clip you cut out? Yes. It's wife walks in, what are you doing? No, they just cooperating with the Nazis. Nothing. He's trying to close the tab.

For the people in home, I'm moving my hand like a movie camera. So it would take a while So so then we got to some We're gonna say kids for the purpose of the movie These some high school 30 somethings This is where we're gonna meet Ralph who is we learn very quickly that Ralph is a no good kid. His parents are divorced. Yeah, right, right, we'll put in stockings on in a movie.

But he's getting invited to a party with some square- square boring non-pot smoking kid, right? That is grandma's house? Yes. Which was a weird detail. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to come swimming in my grandma's pool? I always feel like that's a huge investment.

Is that code? Right, that code. It feels like- Do you guys know what that means? Is that like a weird fucking? Yes. Your grandma's pool. What would that be? What the that be?

Yes. The graveyard's smashing. All right. It's munging. Your grandma's pool is munging. Moving on! That's really... In the second scene in this movie... We're gonna meet the love interest. Now this is Mary. Mary is the girl that Ralph has taken a shine to. And we know that because when Jack the drug dealer walks up to Ralph the 30-year-old high school junior and he says, what's going on?

He says, I'm ogling this lady look at the games and That's how we introduced Mary So they go up to Mary. They're like hey Mary. We're gonna go to the soda shop You want to come along and they're like she's like no, I gotta be somewhere and her little brothers like all come though And I was like yeah, why don't you fucking come in? I'll do some drugs Any kids gonna be there? Or, wait, are we the kids? No.

We're 35. My hairline is receiving pretty far. I didn't know. I was just though. I'm in middle school. So, and okay. Now we got to a hop in 1930s soda shop or as Elias written in the notes notes is the queue the widest dancing possible

Oh, are we gonna get a visual? Minorities before you that was all we had it was like pretender kicking little people There's still coming and the arms, there's birds. All right, all right. Getting a little too complicated for these folks. If you're in the mood, I mean the bad, you'll get that because you swing dance. All right.

You wouldn't swing dance if you were fucking. All right. So quick after we learn why we stop letting white people come up with the dances, we also learn why we let the white or stop letting the white people come up with the slang. Because there's a piano player here and Jimmy, who is Mary's little brother, turns to the piano player and says, well, he ain't no paper man. He's quote, sorry, he quote,

your swings out a hop and message, Ames. So yeah, we stopped doing slang immediately after. But we have to talk about, now we played a video for those of you at home. We played a quick video of something best smoking in the movie for the audience here at the show. The first guy you saw smoking, that was Hot Fingers Purdy. And he is 1936 Noah. I'm not ashamed to admit it.

And he's the guy who ate no paper man. And do you remember his face when he was doing that? The first clip? He looked, he was either ready to eat, like really excited about eating, or showing off his penis. And it wasn't clear. It was one of those two things. All right, he was 1938 Eli.

He was blanket. CHEERING You know when someone doesn't expect you to show him your penis, and it's like a fun prank, and you work for them. Yeah, because they said trick or treat. But you're tricking them. They're an adult. No, you made them a child.

So you guys, you did that. I didn't. You did. See, you guys think he was kidding about like us having to talk him into having anything on it all under that joint. You think we're kidding. Don't think we're kidding. All right. So they're at the soda shop. Hotfingers pretty steps off to smoke some crack joints in the closet. And this is where Jack and Ralph invite Jimmy to the weed party. Right? So now we go from... You basically were saying that the soda shop is really like a gateway to drugs.

Yes. In case you were wondering what happened before dare to crazy old mom's friends, it was soda. You start with root beer and you end second dicks. Let me tell you. All right, Mrs. Brown. Your divorce seems like it was harder for you. Swing dancing, that seems fun.

All right, so before we get to the big weed party though, we have to cut to Mary who's coming home from her tennis date with Bill the Dork. All right, so Bill is 1938 Heath. I thought he was pretty cool. Pfft. And I don't say that because he's the dork. I say that because as soon as this guy tries to talk to a woman,

he injures himself. The fountain collapses under him. Ah! That happened to me yesterday and today. Huh? Fine. And also there's this spectacularly amazing massage in this, right?

When he first sits down, he goes, he goes, or she goes, oh, thank you so much for helping with my homework. He's like, as long as it's not that, what do they call it back then? What do they call home back then? Anyway, as long as I don't have to learn to kick, cook, and clean like a person with a vagina, that's what he says, right?

He's like, as long as I don't have to help with the cooking and cleaning classes that women literally had in school into the 90s. And Eli took because it meant he didn't have to take wood shop. Let me tell you, the best moment of my education was walking into Mr. Haggard, he's workshop and being like, I have a note about suicidal ideation. I need to go to home and this grizzled veteran with wood chips burned into his eyes just being like and he shot you. Yep.

Yep. He just dug a small hole and waited for me to pop my hand down. It's my Vietnam vets get that one. Put your hand on the miter saw. We're doing this. All right. So, yeah, so, but anyway, he goes like, he's like, he's bitching about having to go to home at class and he goes, I told my mom out of me gravy the other day.

What am I, a homosexual? The banter between these two could not be more hateful on accident. It's like, yeah, okay. So I'm basically an octeroon at this point. And let me black up so you really get this story. I'm telling you, I'm sitting there. I'm gonna be governor one day. Oh, folks at home, that was a black face joke. Maybe it's better if I just don't explain what happened

You could say so many things besides governor and it's still the same punchline. Yeah, right? That's terrifying. We've been Michael Jackson one day You still let Ted dance and have a TV show. All right, so he was married. It doesn't matter Yeah, why do you think it doesn't happen? The bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad,

the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, the bad, or yeah, Jimmy wanders off and falls in the fountain. They read Romeo and Juliet so badly.

I think he thought it was supposed to rhyme. He's like, what light through wonder? Window breaks. It is the... Eastakes. Juliet is... Let me black up. This will make this easier. I'm gonna be the host of opening arguments one day. That is true. Andrew was a well-known blackface performer. I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know. Can we?

I'm not gonna be the host of opening arguments one day. I'm gonna be the host of opening arguments one day. That is true. Andrew was a well-known blackface performer. I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know. Can we? Photoshop it for me. Where the fuck is the whiteboard?

All right, so, all right, so now it's time for some child abuse. So, we're gonna cut over to Billy's house, sorry I was calling him Jim Ehrlich, no this is Billy. The bill is the door that Mary was dating. Bill, we go to his house, we meet his parents and his little brother, who starts giving him shit. So Bill starts chasing him around to beat him, the seven-year-old.

It's the best. He's like, mom send him off to World War I, won't you? And the mom's going like, stop a money and then it's going, no, sometimes seven-year-olds need to have their ass kicked by 28-year-olds playing high school students. That's how we, so we toughen them up in the 30s. Say my girlfriend is swell. I'll give you a night in the box.

It's a weird moment. They're brothers. That's a weird moment. They're brothers. It's a child. And now, okay, now we have to start bringing some of these characters together. So now it's time for Bill and Jimmy to meet up on the street somewhere. Jimmy being Mary's little brother that went to the drug party earlier. And now Jimmy is going to invite Bill to the Reef for Pad where everyone does the drugs.

Whoa, right? And things are about to get pretty fucking heavy. I'm sorry, first he invites him to the soda shop there again. It's the stepping stone. Right, and Billy is not having it. He's like, whoa, hardcore. I have a root beer and all my notes are as when did root beer become soda? Was it the one that didn't have cocaine in it? And all my notes are, is when did root beer become soda?

Was it the one that didn't have cocaine in it? So it was like the death. And by the way, no, it was 1929 when they took the cocaine out. We know that and don't you don't have to email. I didn't know that email anyway. You can put your own. Yeah, it's just a trace amount by then and I know. All right. And then they meet Ralph and Blanche now Blanche is going to be The other woman right she's the slut of the movie

Yeah Like that better. So, yeah, so they meet up with Blanch and Ralph and they're like, hey, let's go do some drugs and everybody's like, sure, okay. So then we finally get to see the kids really weedin' out here. This is the first time. Because we've been to the weed place a couple of times, the weed bed, but people haven't been super fucking high. So now we get there and I shit you not, they're dancing like Charlie Brown characters, right? Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Eli for years Eli said, hey man, work in a line where I can do my Snoopy dance at a live show I finally did that for him.

Is it big? Because they wouldn't let me do it in my dad's funeral. Jokes on you. I'm good, I'm back. So Bill comes in with everybody else. Everybody else is pretty down with the weed house, right? They know what this is all about, but Bill is new to it, right? And right away, he's a little suspicious because they don't seem to be smoking good healthy cigarettes. Over and over again in this movie, somebody will be smoking a cigarette

and somebody will laugh or I'm a joint going, not as bad for you, see? It's the, it's no one next to a baby on a plane where he's king just, I would, I would be blowing that at the parents, not the baby. Lowering the baby onto a joint. There it is. For the listeners at home I just smoked a baby. All right. Oh my God, I just realized that I wrote...

Everyone here was dancing like Charlie Bound Carriages and he throat, I wish I could dance like this. They looked like they were having fun. They all had people in their lives that loved me. I mean, I don't want to be this guy, but grown up Charlie Brown is heat. And the football is love. Oh This got so fucking dark I need a trombone sound Like every time I'm trying to talk to a lady Want want want and the parents sound like, moon, the moon, the moon.

Oh, my God. Because your dad had a stroke. That was a stroke joke, guys. It's perfect. We're putting a lot of puzzle pieces together here. It got off of movies live in Denver. Movies like four minutes long. You're gonna get a lot of this.

We have so many pages left. Oh my God. All right. I'm doing great. That's a good life. That's my best life. Good. Good.

We love you. Thank you. We love him, right? Oh, come on. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

And who loves peanut butter? See, it's just an applause sign. I see what she did. So she did. Why are you, why do you want to take this away from us? Lots of people fucking butter Hey, look, I'm sorry like dude you rated right up there with peanut butter. Okay. That's pretty fucking high Oh speaking up peanut butter. We haven't mentioned the sub plot of this movie. Oh

You were getting excited. Oh, he was getting he loves dogs guys. He was getting excited No, no, I was going a different way with this. Dogs love me, that's what I'm in. Ha-ha-ha-ha. No, so here we go. So, the subplot of this movie is the Jack, the man who lives at the weed house, is trying his god damnedest to eat his breakfast tea bone. Yup.

Through the whole fucking movie. His heavy cream and steak. Ha, ha, ha. Ha. Ha. Yeah, but he can't right now because he's got to go pick up more reefers. And his car's in the shop.

They're like, don't worry, there's a kid out there that has a car. You can go use his car. So he goes out and fights Jimmy. Now Jimmy is mid- making out with this chick. And Jack just says, hey Jimmy, I need a ride. Jimmy gets up and leaves. He doesn't even say goodbye. Which to be fair, this is 1930s. Well, everyone was better off. He's like,

He's like, brrr, brrr, brrr. All right, so it's time to smoke more weed. So May goes out. Now, of course, they were just out of reefers. Jack got to go more, get more, but now she has more because nobody's paying attention. Anything in this fucking movie. So she goes around, starts handing out joints.

And this is one of those scenes, right? So Bill is sitting there smoking a cigarette going, no, why do you kiddin' me? That doesn't smell right at all. That's gotta be dangerous for you. I'm just protecting the delicate issues of my throat here, you know? Mm-hmm. And then Blanche, sitting right next to him, she goes,

oh, I thought you were cool. I guess I'll just put all this shit back on then. And then he's like, oh, awesome. All right. It starts doing lines of reefer off the table. Mm-hmm. All right. So now it's time for Heath's best worst.

It's time for us to head to the main reefer headquarters. That's right. Which looks, I shit you not exactly like the office in the box office of this building I'm Tony D You need someone to do your drug taxes. I do I do Come on down to my office. Perfect. I got a click thing. You got to click that you're taking you're taking good Okay, you're keeping good track. You got a paper trail of your narcotics empire.

Yeah, right. How many drugs can I get you? Two? Two drugs. Two drugs. Sorry, one. Did you already press it? I did.

It's OK, two. There will be no delete button for the next 30 years. That's why World War II happens. Someone hit the eye a second time, and they were like, I'm not making this up. That's why World War II happens. Read a book. Now you know what the outtakes really sound like. So yeah, okay, so he's getting some more drugs.

He has a call up for the drugs, which is amazing. The guy's like, yeah, we need some more reefers. He says, Judy, send up some reefers. And then, and Judy says, something else to him on the other line, we can't hear it. And he goes, yeah, send him up. One second later, somebody comes in the door. It's one of those, send him up.

He was standing immediately outside the door. Shoes in our vacuum tube, I'm pretty sure. Yes, right, right, pops in like, cramer. Oh, oh. So, right, right. Pops in like Kramer. Oh. So, but this is big Pete. And big Pete would like to not sell drugs to kids anymore. Right, he comes in, he's like, hey guys, I'm okay with selling, you know, turpentine to people and calling a geninship,

but you're selling drugs to kids, this is terrible. And the boss is like, oh no problem, you could always retire. Poiminantly. Poiminantly. Do you not understand? I'm gonna murder you if you don't sell drugs to children literally forever. Yes. Do you not understand?

I wanted him to still not get it. Hey boss! I got some bone to pick with you. All right, we'll go ahead. Jack here is all right. I got to tell you boss, I can toss a fly a gin here or there, but I ain't selling no junk to no kids. Okay, well, Pete, you can retire if you want. Hermanantly. I can't? Oh, yeah, you can retire permanently. So, like, what kind of packages do you offer? No. Do, like, a salary package or flat severance?

Because... No, what? No, he means you can be put out of the picture... Poiming it. Yeah. Oh, you mean get rid of my stock options? No, honestly, that's not a factor for me. I invested in our simple IRA,

and I know, nope, because company up. No, company options. Stop talking, stop talking. I mean we'll kill you. We will murder you, like literally that you'll be dead because we killed you with our hands. Morda. Yes. Yes.

Even like some people would put ours in it, but yes, that. By which I mean murder to death, we will kill you. Got it. So like a really small severance. Okay. It's okay by the way the fact that we stole that bit from Wayne's world is okay because they stole their whole stick from Bill and Ted. Totally dead. Alright, so wait, now we're past Revar HQ. I can scroll too. Look, okay, this is such a

good scene too. Oh, I'm so stoked. So now the jack leaves the drug headquarters and Jimmy, the kid that drove him there has been refruined up this whole time, and now it's time for him to drive, but all refrued up. But before you get excited, he's driving a car from the 30s, so the car might as well turn to the camera and be like, rock, it's a living! It is.

It flashes to the speedometer at one point, and he is going 40 miles an hour. Yes, he is. No, no, this is the actual, okay, here's how the actual progression of events, Jack goes, slow down, you'll kill somebody, and then they flash to this pedometer, it's midway between 40 and 50. But unfortunately, there is a guy who has a 43 mile an hour threshold of survival because

they, it's the first ever stunt actor. Because the car drives here. You see the actor like look at the camera and like, it missed me. Line was supposed to go, oh, we're still rolling. The line is your dead. There you go. So yes, yes, because this is where we learn that if you smoke reefers and drive, you will drive very fast and kill someone. By which I mean, you'll be going 45 miles an hour, but the stone guy next to you will think

you're speeding. But then we cut to Bill's house, or I'm sorry, Jimmy's house, right? This is Mary and Jimmy, they're the brother and sister. So we basically have to see him coming home right after his vehicular homicide. And mom's like, hey, are you okay? And he's like, what? I'm fine, dammit, go ahead, shock my balls, I'm not talking.

You say that every morning. You make breakfast weird, Billy. Go beat up your brother. All right. And so now I guess they couldn't get the rights to FBI, so we're going to go to the federal offices of the Bureau of Investigations. We're going to cut to the head of the FBI Ish and this is we can we have a senior where it has nothing to do with the rest of the fucking movie But the principal from the beginning that was at the pta thing is sitting here talking with Jay-jay Hoover, I guess yeah, but the but the FBI guys great right he goes

You know back in 1930 you could fit all the marijuana crimes in this single file folder, but today they fill this entire filing cabinet. I'm like, okay, you guys aren't killing it then. Yes, this, whatever you're doing, ain't working. We have dealt with literally dozens of marijuana cases. We have dealt with literally dozens of marijuana cases. And then, okay, and then they start listing off all of the terrible things that people do when they're on marijuana. And I love the priorities of this. First of all, they mention, and this has always been my favorite line, again, I've seen this movie at least six dozen times. There's always been my favorite line where the principal sits back and says yes, I remember that one the case of a 16 year old boy Who well under the influence of marijuana murdered is entire family with an axe

And that's great for so many reasons, but the reason why it's the best is that the cops walked in and this 16 year old is covered in blood holding an axe and he goes, you know I think it was the marijuana. Hey little weed earlier and then I was just like, yeah because it makes you so coordinated. So am I holding the axe weird? Am I? Are you guys mad at me for murdering people? I know you guys think I'm an asshole. Where do you hold axes? All right, but so here's the thing, and I did not know this again. I've seen...

I know what the whole axis is in his rectum. So, but I didn't know this until literally today. This is a true story in a sense, right? So this was a big thing back in, it happened back in 1933, I think that there was this guy who killed his family with an axe and he happened to have smoked weed at some point before killing his family with an axe. Therefore, the cause of it was the weed. And this was like, I can't remember the guy's name, but this was like the main thing that everybody was using

to try to drum up the main propaganda tool that people were using to try to drum up a law against weed. And that was one of the main reasons why the marijuana stamp back was passed in 1937 was because some homicidal guy who had been diagnosed schizophrenic well before that, and was diagnosed with violent tendencies well before that happened to smoke weed and then killed a bunch of people.

Right? That was the whole, that was the whole thing. So, I, apparently, they didn't make that one up. But, sorry, I'll, often, my little tangent there. The most amazing thing about this is that after the ax murdering, they say, and as if that's not bad enough for you, here's the story of a young woman who, after smoking marijuana, was caught in the company of five men. Right? Just in the company, though. I really wanted him to go into detail and be like,

no, no, no, you don't understand. She had one here One here which like I get it high school, but then three Four and five in the back At this point like she needs to work on the national debt She said something about quitting swing dance. I don't know. All right, so now Bill's gonna have a sit down with the principal. All right, they're just left the FBI bill being the kid that was, you know, clean cut kid. Now he started smoking

marijuana. so his school work is knocked off a little bit. And this is my favorite line in the movie. He says Bill, I'm going to ask you a straightforward question. Oh please, please tell us his straightforward question. Quote, isn't it true that you have perhaps unwillingly acquired a certain harmful habit through associations with certain undesirable people and quote that's his straightforward question now keep in mind that the other way to say that is you smoked dope

you high you got a black friend. I know you did. So of course Bill though lies through his re-ferred dicted teeth, he says he's worried about something at home. So we cut to the re-frauss, this is another incredibly salacious scene. Blanche is dancing and she pulls off her shirt in front of a whole room full of people exposing, now wearing nothing but her skirt, her slip, her bra, her petty coat, her fucking, it's got a little thing tied around her neck. You can see her clavicles now. Yeah, that's it. Right? I mean mean she had nice clavicles. I'm not trying to I'm trying to downplay this at all

Got any clavicle men in the audience. Where my clavicle is that? You get right in there You got to get it a good angle You really do otherwise it breaks someone's collarbone. Yeah, so Otherwise, he breaks the one's collarbone. Yeah. So... So, yeah, so... So, Blanch and Bill are making out...

They should be dancing to the bedroom. They start making out. And keep in mind, so this is what this movie has told you so far. You smoke this shit and women will try to have sex with you. Oh! God for fucking bin! But, um, super obscene. They make out a Jimmy meanwhile is outside playing the piano.

He can barely fucking finish his song without getting laid. Everybody's fucking in this. I hope how is bad, we bad in this world. So okay. So now we got a coat over the Mary's house if you recall. An old man was hit by a car earlier. We got a follow up on that. So the cops show up and they're So, okay. So now we got a cut over to Mary's house if you recall, an old man was hit by a car earlier. We got a follow-up on that. So the cops show up and they're like,

yeah, somebody got hit by your car. You weren't driving a car, hitting people, where he and she goes, no, and he goes, oh, okay. Oh, the good old days when the police were two 84 year old men who showed up in three-piece suits, asked one question and then left Well, I'm white so they still do that I'm sure they don't know where the three piece, but yeah, right Hey, don't boom me boo the fucking justice system. You're about man of four 47 months. Are you fucking kidding me?

All right, yeah, no you can boo him all you want. We know why those ghosts still like the police. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, I can't delete it from their memories. Ha ha ha. Woo! And then I'm cut out out of everyone's brain in the room. What he means to say is that sometimes he looks at my eyes. All right, so Mary's worried now. She knows her car's been used to murder somebody and she knows Jimmy was driving the car at the time. So she goes on hunt for Jimmy. first. She checks at the soda shop

So the shop guys there. He's like, no, he's not here. He's at the crack house, but you look cool. I'll give you the address So Mary comes to the crack house looking for her brother and Ralph answers the door Ralph was the 32-year-old Kid with a receding hairline that's still in high school that liked Mary from earlier. So he says, oh, you know, Jimmy just stepped out. He'll be right back, but have a cigarette while you're right here. And of course, she thinks it's just a nice, healthy, lucky strike, so she lights it up and gets inconsolably high immediate.

Imagine weed being so bad that you can't tell the difference between weed and a cigarette. That's narcotics. What? I mean, it could be good cigarettes. OK. So Mary starts smoking a little reaper. She's super giggly.

And then Ralph tries to rape her. Don't worry. It's not graphic because everyone's wearing a suit of armor. So really what he does is fight her zipper. Yes. Very hard. He's just like Time out, honey assault. Time out. He's got the time out, the zippers tricky. I can do it. I don't need help. From my experience any moment, she was gonna be like, I'm gonna do it.

No, no, I'm gonna do it. Stop it. Oh, no, no. A.E.L.I. in the future when we're talking about attempted rape scenes don't start sentences within my experience. I'm tired of getting that note from you. Alright, so now, okay, this is an amazing shot too, right? So Bill has just finished fucking

blanch. And he comes out of the room and he sees Mary, his best girl, getting raped or nearly getting raped by Ralph, but because he's on on weed he can't tell that it's a rape he thinks it's consensual he's hallucinating consent marijuana according to this movie makes you hallucinate consent that's part of the bitch just ask our newest supreme court justice

yeah that works now we boo yeah right Supreme Court justice. Yeah. That works. Now we boo. Yeah, right. All right. But what's so amazing to me about this is that they have to add in the part where he elucinates consent to why? Because the thing that's about to happen is he's about to beat up Ralph.

Right? Like if he saw that if he saw that Ralph was raping Mary, it would also make sense for him to, or would it be hot? It's her fault. Well, you know, in the 1930s, rape was dips. That's the point.

That's the point. Actually it was. It was though. It don't laugh, it really was. He was alive. All right, so now we get this amazing fight scene where we get a giant Indiana Jones bunch. You know how when you punch somebody you start back here?

Yeah, you want to wind up as much as possible. Yeah, it's one of those And Jack the guy who lives at this house who's still trying to eat his fucking breakfast T-bone the guy who lives at this house who's still trying to eat his fucking breakfast tea bone. Here's this commotion. He sees two kids fighting. He's like, I know what I'll do. This is the safest way to handle it. I'll take out my gun. Don't worry. I'm not going to use the shoot end. And I will knock him unconscious with the butt of my gun. But unfortunately Bill sees this comedy, turns around, he grabs the gun, and in the struggle, Mary is shot in the back. Mary was standing with her spine facing this gun struggle. Yes, just like moving her. She

might as well catch the bullet like a falling snowflake. She jumps in front of him back first like the bodyguard. And now we'll know. So she dies. Her blood was a little mosquito bite death. And immediately after everybody runs up, Ralph runs up, Bill's been knocked unconscious at this point,

but everybody else runs up and goes, Jack, is she okay? Do it, Jack just goes, Oh, this is fucking dead. I'll need some water. That is what he says. She's dead. Get me some water.

That is what he says. I's dead. Get me some water. That is what he says. I'm a homeopath. So I am gonna drown her and save her from the gunshot wound. I think if I put one of these bullets in the water and then we all drink it, and then we swim in the ocean. She's not shy. Not fun. Yeah. So.

All right. So now they've realized they've got a murdered girl in their apartment. What to do? Such an inconvenience. There has to be a better way. So Jackson has Ralph blinch. Get the fuck out of here. And then he takes his gun and just puts it in Bill's hand,

Bill's unconscious on the floor. He stands, Bill hub, and then he points his hand at Mary, and then wakes him up. He's like, look at where your hand is pointing, which means that Bill might have woken up with the gun pointing the wrong way and been like, all right, I didn't shoot anyone, thank God. What the hell happened to Mary? wrong way and been like, all right, I didn't shoot anyone. Thank God.

What the hell happened to Mary? What happened to Mary? Yes. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- There's a black guy in his other hand. Ah! Fuck it was me! I did. I must have murdered somebody. I also love the awkward, so like, Bill runs over to Mary and he's like, he literally says, Mary, Mary, speak to me, Mary.

Literally those are the lines. And the whole time, Jack and May, the two people that live there are just slowly backing away. It's the best. But... Like when Eli wants to get real. Jack and May, the two people that live there are just slowly backing away. It's the best. It's the best. Like when Eli wants to get real. So, it's talking about his tweets again. Morgan, you can cut all of this.

I muted Zencaster, but you can cut all of this. So, but Jack, I love Jack's line too. He's like, all right, so we got a dead girl on the couch. I'm gonna scram once I'm good and gone, call the cops and tell them about the dead girl on the couch. The story is that guy killed her, and she's like, we killed her? No, write it down.

Not us. That guy killed her. Okay. All right, well, I can't tell if that's just right it down. That's not us. Back of the kilter. Okay. All right. Well, I can't tell if that's just the dramatic tension or my bladder. So we're going to take a quick break and I'm going to find out. But first, let me give act three, the hard sell here.

Will Jack get away with murder? Do we think the weed was more to blame for Mary's death than the sober guy waving a gun around? Did people in the 40s think they were being woke once they started spelling marijuana with a J? Find out the answers to these questions and more. We will return for the comically suicidal conclusion of Just put it together. How? I don't push on the sides. No, that's not how it works. That's obviously not how it works. Hey guys. Oh, Hi, no, hello Noah. Hello, buddy. It's up. Um, he's broke your microphone. Eli broken. Yellow Eli. Eli broken. He's really broken. No worries. No worries about the microphone. Yeah. No worries Dude, it's a trap take him take him take him take him no

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Well for 20% off your first order visit Mac Weldon dot com and enter promo code awful at checkout Mac Weldon dot com and enter the promo code awful at checkout. Macwellden.com and enter the promo code awful at checkout. That's right wild card. Okay. You, uh, you ready to record? Skateboard? Yeah, oh, let me, uh, let me change it to my old underwear though.

Yeah, yeah, probably best. Yeah, I gotta stay on brand. Sure. Hahaha. GENERAL MAN, I WON'T MINS WODES! THIS MOVIE IS THE FINEST EVER RITTON! Yeah, here. Now it's time for the big dramatic moida. Uh, okay, okay, how about this? Bill comes in the room, all refored up,

and sees his pal Ralph having a go at his best girl. Oh, that's what she's given in a way? Not without a fight, she's not. But see, Bill, the reaper makes him think she's taking a shine to him. So there's a struggle, and then a gunshot, and Mary is dead. Oh. Wow. Very relatable. I mean, who hasn't been there, right? and then a gunshot and Mary is dead.

Wow. Very relatable. I mean, who hasn't been there, right? I lost two best girls that way. You did. You did. And we're back. Woo!

Woo! And okay, so we're gonna start this one off with Jack was just Murdered someone and frame someone else for it. Slinking his way into the soda shop to tie up some loose ends It's the fucking stepping stone man. That's where it all starts So he sees Jimmy there and he's like hey hey Jimmy, I want to have a very suspicious conversation with you over here in the corner. So you killed that guy while you were driving. I, on the other hand, have not killed anyone

just to be clear. And he's like, all right, weird flex, but okay. Thank you. No, we should be clear that we found out that we didn't mention it to you guys, but we found out that the old guy that was knocked over by the wind of the car earlier survived, somehow miraculously from that.

Like Mario being killed by a gumball. Yeah, right. Just barely face us. They rubbed some tussin in it. Yeah, right, exactly. Gave him some helpful heroin and some cocaine for the it. Yeah, right, exactly. Gave him some healthful heroin and some cocaine for the weekend. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Cook it right off. But Jack is going to lie to Jimmy, he says, I thought to a cop friend, that guy you hit, died. But I won't tell anybody as long as you don't ask too many questions about your sister who was murdered in my apartment. And he agrees way too fast. He really does. He's like, so he is the deal.

You don't ask too many questions about what happened to your murdered sister. And I, Don. Don. Don. Don. A lot of people let me offer a thing for a second.

I did not need to have an offer. You don't ask anything about me. Don. We murdered people. Nope. I, you, who murdered somebody? Just you. Just't. We murdered people. Nope. I... You who murdered somebody? Just you.

Just me? I murdered somebody, deal. Stop saying that out loud. Deal. Murder. Oh. Murder. They're reenacting conversations we've had with Anstrue again.

All right. So now we get another, another Like newspaper fly in here and it says the Harper marijuana slaying trial begins marijuana was not slayed But it was on trial But I love again even in their own fucking movie they can't make weed bad right the murder happened Because this guy was trying to prevent a rape and a sober guy tried to stop him. So the terrible thing about marijuana is it makes you easier to frame for murder?

Is that the danger? I mean to be fair, it would. I would be on death row so many times by now. Everyone's mad at you and you committed murders. What? Everyone's mad at me? I want cheese fries. And I committed a murder.

So we're using your grub hub. You never pay. Do you have the password? Do you have Venmo? So it's time to call the first witness of the big marijuana trial. The first witness, now this is one of those defense first trials where they start off with a character witness. It's this is going to be the principle

from that's showed up periodically to tell us about the dangers of marijuana. And the lawyers just, you've noticed anything strange about Bill recently. He's like, weed. Weed. In your opinion as an educator, was he under some strain caused by marijuana?

Yeah, absolutely. That's my opinion. Yeah, oh, yeah. So, like, anything else you can tell us, he played tennis like a pothead. He says it one point, he's like, I watched him play tennis. He would miss the ball by four to five feet. Then you didn't watch him play tennis. But it also makes me think,

how stoned have all my gym teachers thought I am? Just 14-year-old me hanging onto the bottom of a rope during the presidential challenge? That kid is fucking high! Did you miss the rope by four or five feet? You're not even on it. What are you grabbing? You're grabbing nothing. So also, by the way, this is so amazing. He says at the end, the principal says at the end,

he's like, well Bill used to be, quote, a fine, upstanding American boy. Did the weed make him Canadian? Wanted so badly for the camera to pan over, he's just wearing the sickle and hammering his ass. That's the marijuana. Now of course at the same time that the trial is going on though, Jack and May have to keep blanch and Ralph under wraps because they witnessed the murder.

They know what really happened. So they've got them like kind of locked up at the reefer pad. They're just keeping him high until the trials over. And Ralph smoking again like he's jerking off at his mom's house. Just like doing that weird. Yeah. I feel like he was really hoping that was going to hit with everybody y'all. I feel like I shouldn's not how you guys are talking to me. He was really hoping that was gonna hit with every bite of y'all. I feel like I shouldn't have to explain that. You have ruined his fucking eyes.

You guys all are weird. Time for some of that universal comedy. You know when you're jerking off at your mom's house? Yeah. Two, three. Huh. And you're like, you know it here. Alright, so yes, Ralph is jerking off awkwardly as I think what Heath was going for awkwardly. And May's worried, she goes to Jack and she's like, Ralph's gonna freak out and tell everybody.

And he says, just don't give him too many reefers And she's like here have reefers and Jack's like what the fuck did I just say? Just fucking said are you mad? You seem mad, but so so Jack your man Realizes so Jack realizes though to pull this murder off They're gonna have to get Jack Ralph out of the way I realize is though to pull this murder off they're gonna have to get Jack Ralph out of the way. So he's gonna stop,

he's gonna go see the big boss to get permission to kill Ralph. He's gotta fill out the murder paperwork. Yes. Oh, I got it. I gotta go to HR now. What do we do with weed murders? Oh man, is it a OSHA thing?

I'm in the wrong line. No, don't make me go back. Just give me the floor man, let me fill it out here. I'll be so quick, I'll be so, don't make me go back. Just give me the form and let me fill it out here. I'll be so quick. I'll be so, oh! I like your nails. So.

All right, so we head back to the boss's office here. Still got the clipboards up. He's still working hard. And he says, he says, hey man, we got a problem. This kid that witnessed the murder. He's starting to freak out. He's like, what did you try to give him a reference? He's like, I did try to give him a reference.

He's like, well fuck, I'm not ideas. Jack says, well what if he was to be murder you famous? He loses it. He's like, ah, what if we were to take him cradle to the grave? Starring DMX. Open here. Just one last thing in terms of the business model. Maybe we just sell him the drugs.

You know how we're providing a venue for the Orgy of violence afterwards? Could we just not do that? They could just go home and murder people. And the best part is the boss is like, yeah man, we're the bad guys. You're okay to murder someone pretty much whenever, that's our thing. I've been reading 10-minute manager, I need you to be your own problem solver. Go on murder! Get out there. Who moved my murder? Thank you corporate culture people. You got it.

You had to listen to that book. All right, so now it's time for the closing argument at the big weed trial. If this is the first time I realize that the girl's name that gets murdered in this movie is Mary Lane Yeah, one letter away to alphabetical stations they weren't trying that hard And the lawyer is basically saying sure he could have been weed crazed But maybe not You should find him guilty. That's his whole thing, basically.

He says, his closing line is all about, I mean, he can't be a good guy. He went in and had sex with a lady before they weren't even married. He had pre-murder sex. That would, it would even make sense if he doesn't murder somebody after that. That's dumb.

Who has pre-murder sex? You would have it. You be doing it wrong. That's not how you do that. Or are they gonna do swing dance? That would be more fun. Alright, so we get to the jury room and we have this conversation, right? The four men and the one holdout guy, the holdout guy goes, but what if he was insane?

And the four men goes, nope. Nope. Nope. No. Okay, but what if he was? He was the nerd. Wait, but okay, but what if he was he was not nerd wait but okay but what if but there's a reasonable saying the same vote okay vote now now is the the form is like are we all in agreement everybody's like no he's like vote okay why not and then there's also this great scene where they get like a artsy right so there's Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about I want to support you in this moment We're the window dangling. Yeah, yeah, they've got a little pole cord that's dangling turns into a new Oh, shit because apparently the jury format is also on reefer. I don't know Clear no fake news

All right, I thought of that yesterday. Oh fake. Oh, no, I see I see no It's pretty excited about that pun Nolid fake news no it worked much better tonight than last night Anna put away the fake news t-shirts I don't think anyone's going to buy them. I don't think we're going to sell them. All right. So with those 11 seconds of deliberation out of the way, the jury returns with a verdict.

We know this because we watch every fucking one of them file into the court. Not quickly or anything. One at a time, 12 people take their seats, and then the judge asked you, have you reached a verdict and they have, they find him guilty as charged. And his reaction to being found guilty of murder is like, nine notches lower than when I die and slay the spire. And he's like, ah! You're a lot of paperwork. It's the whole thing. I'm disappointed. I'm bummed out. So, yeah. Murder. murder. So okay so meanwhile as he's getting his death sentence Ralph is deep into the reaper shakes now and Blanche is trying to keep him calm by playing the

piano because you know how you can calm down marijuana smokers with music so she's playing the piano he's demanding more marijuana cigarettes damn it and they starts really freaking out right he's like they marijuana cigarettes, dammit. And they start to really freaking out, right? He's like, they're gonna hang that kid. They're gonna hang him, and I'm like, yeah, they aren't doing. You're such a dick. You can just tell the cops what happened. You'd be fine.

But he doesn't. He decides instead that he needs to see Jack right away. Of course, Jack is still off getting permission to murder him, which apparently must be in some other state because he's been gone long enough for an entire fucking trial to happen. He was speeding at 45 the whole way. Oh, right, yeah.

Exactly. Oh, right, he was hauling ass. You know, his drug boss has one of those really irritating secretaries who makes you wait, even though nobody's in there. Yeah. Come on. Put your finger down.

This. Hi, I was just checking to see where I was, and I, okay. Pfft. So, okay, so Blanche is desperately trying to calm him down. So, she keeps playing the piano harder and harder. For a second, it's working though, right? There's that moment where he's going, play faster. Play faster.

I can't get off unless you play faster. Okay, hear me out. We're going to invent dubstep right now. You play faster. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! If I was the European teenager in a mask right now, I would be a millionaire. And then I'd be dead.

Yeah, yeah, that joke is so much less funny by the end, right? All right. much less funny by the end, right? So... Alright, so then, now Ralph is really freaking out. Blanche is playing the piano as fast as she gets smokes rising off of her fingers or she's having a joint one or the other. And then Jack comes in, but Ralph can tell that Jack is there to kill him because of the psychic weed powers that you get. So Ralph pre-kills Jack with the giant stick that he had in his ass. With his cartoon golf club, yeah. He might as well scroll through a bunch of weapons

like he's linked, just like pulling him out. No, should I do Master Sword? Yeah, Master Sword. Oh, if he kills him, da da da da da da da da. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, and also, by the way, as this is happening, as he's whacking his dude to death, plan just pretty sure this is terrifyingly hilarious. She's laughing and screaming at the same time.

It's amazing. But the neighbor hears all this and calls the cops. The cops show up. And I love how the cops show up in this. They're just like, you guys got any murders here? They were just doing that floor to floor. They were just like, murderers, murderers, no. Murderers, murders. And I love her, she tries to run up from the cops,

but like, like a toddler that your baby sitting is a favor, she's just like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like,

you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're Oh! Oh! I am not texting right now. I am looking for plans. Where could she be? Oh, I think I hear something. I hope she's not too quiet. For me to catch her. All right, so now they've got blanched and they've got her under the hot lights.

They're trying to get all the information from her. Eventually they do, she breaks. So we get this montage of the cops taken down the whole weed cartel. And I only bring this up, because there's this amazing scene where someone is supposed to be, I guess, trying to get through a wall with an X. And I say, I guess,

because he is so lightly tapping. Well, here's what obviously happened. He was like, all right, so this is the scene where I break through the wall with the X, yeah? Yeah. And I can actually break through the wall with the X? Well, we don't have enough money to break through it.

It's 1936. Don't break through it. You were riding up softer. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And he spills out. He sp spells out, he spells out, I high. Like he's trying to write something.

Yeah, with the axe. And he went, that means, I mean an H, he had to go sideways. Good point. And vertical at other points. So he's doing this. He's doing it in him and his girlfriend's initials on there. Something, yeah. So yeah, but then we get that we get even more headlines that spin out to us about how the

entire weed cartels been brought down. The new deal thing is for blacks and Jews also is the other headline. All right. So now we come to the judge's chamber because this even this fucking movie knew I couldn't have two court trials. So we've got Blanche and her lawyer trying to make a deal with the judge. But okay, but here's the thing though,

she confesses to everything. Blanche has done nothing fucking wrong, right? So Blanche was at an apartment where a murder happened and then she was kidnapped for several days and then someone else got murdered in the cops picked up I feel like she's free and clear right? Blanche or as she's known to all of us Courtney love no no because I said Blanche is innocent okay I got a new listen

Read a YouTube. No, but the whole never got that big. What's he? Poorly loved was the whole band. The gunshot wound was very small. No. Thank you. But Blanche, despite all this Blanche's confasin' everything, she's like, the matter's all my fault.

I gave him directions to the place where it happened. Okay, and the judge was like, yeah, fuck fine. Okay. Sure. You can go to jail too. I said, yeah, having a banner day. So then the cops are like, okay, well, yeah, you'll have to sign this confession.

So they type up a confession for her. Very quickly. In three seconds. And I wanted everybody to be like, that was five keystrokes. I watched you type. Just now, are you faking it? Did you already have a confession for me ready?

Don't, I pray for you. Don't lie, we have to use it. Wanted him to have to read it back. Okay, so go ahead and type up something for her to sign if you don't mind. Uh, she's a thing boss. Um, really? There you go boss. That took like three seconds.

You're faking. I can't go when she watches. All right, well let's see what you got there. It just says, did you fuck to look at the... That's it, that's all it says. It was a lot of pressure. You were all watching. Okay, okay. Can we just do it over?

Do we have any water? Okay. Alright. So they tell Blanche, they're like, okay, we're going to cancel the murder conviction for Bill, but you are going to have to like get punished for something. We don't know what. So they send her up. And then we get to the second greatest get punished for something. We don't know what. So they send her up. And then we get to the second greatest scene in the movie.

The movie from before? Well, all right, right now. First we get to movie from before. Because we get like a bar mitzvah video of the movie during the movie. Well, so and that comes immediately after Blanche describes the movie to us in detail, right? So the cops are like, what happened? Blanche tells us everything we just saw. Then she walks out of the room and flashes back to everything we fucking saw. I'm the unpredictable, the end is right.

Hope you had the time of your murder. Well, but she better have had the time of her life, because that was her last chance. So she breaks away. They're all going down the hall. She breaks away, runs down the hall, leaps out the window to her death. But not really. What do we say leaps? No.

She gently steps out the window to her death. I wanted her to smash into the window and fall back down. Oh, it's like fuck, I really don't know. Break. And break. A bird on the other side is like they do that. Ha-ha-ha. You got to put a little cut out of another human sitting there.

Well, I love that right afterwards. Everybody runs up to the window. I wanted to just be that she was on the first floor. She said now they're all cut up. Yes, it was dumb. My ankle really hurts right now. If he did, next we're on a collapse chair.

So you single, what's going on? Don't take away the football. You took away the football. No, she was born in 1918. That really puts her right in his wheelhouse. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. He dates 15-year-olds. Wait, I got confused by both parts of that. I was trying to defend one thing and then he switched it.

It's a love-old teenager's point. I owe the young middle normal teenager. He'll right now I'm married your dad all right wait wait I'm sorry he I'm sorry I know this is off script When's the last time that you dated somebody who was within let's say seven years of your age? I don't like I don't like labels labels like age comes out So now I'm 37 sure he's 38

37 so all right now you have to be 38 you're five years younger than me I just turned 43. Oh confused me if you don't turn 38, you're five years here, because I just turned 43, it'll confuse me if you don't turn 38 now. Hey, was it your birthday, was it? It was. Oh, you remembered what I reminded you. You. Happy birthday.

Thank you. This is great podcasting, y'all. I'm the speed it up to you. Happy birthday, dear no. Happy birthday, dear no. Yeah! Yeah! My wife promised me a cake with 43 joints on it and did not deliver.

I asked, I asked Eli, so I asked Eli before and I'm like, Hey man, when we do the platinum night, we should do a cake and I can put 43 joints on it. He's like, who's gonna smoke that? I'm like, who the fuck do you think? I was like, there's gonna be like 20 people at platinum night. I only have to smoke 23 of them. I never realized you could smoke a joint like people do a shot until Noah just... That's true. He goes up joint, he comes down filter.

All right, oh guys, we gotta go quick now. And the movie ended. Yeah, okay, so the judge comes in, they're the judges, I'm sorry okay. That's the movie is over. So the judge comes in. They're in the judges, I'm sorry, the judges in the courtroom now. He's trying to correct the record. He says, we're gathered here today and what will hopefully be the last scene.

It will not. Nope. They bring out Bill and they're like, okay, Bill, it turns out you didn't commit that murder and we came this close to killing you for no justifiable reason. But just so you know, we're still pretty pissed at you. Still don't manslaughter anymore white ladies.

You're cool. This is your one murder warning. Yeah, right. They're going like, but we still can't condone your acts. I'm like, the not murdering. You can't condone the not murdering he did. Okay. Um, any, but the judge says,

but I sure hope the lesson you learned will scare you enough that the 60s will never happen. And God forbid Colorado will ever happen. Yeah, right. But then, but he says, but he says, you may be getting awful, you have to stay in the courtroom to watch Ralph get sentenced. All right. So then they bring in Ralph for, by far, the greatest moment of the movie. Oh, he looks like every white girl the day after Santa come. I don't know if that means as much to you guys as it does to us, but damn, yes, exactly.

Google Santa Con. That was a hilarious joke, trust me. So Ralph comes in all kinds of crazed, look, and I mean, he's so crazy now. He barely has his best button to for his time. And in both lawyers, his lawyer and the other lawyers, like, look at the fucking guy, let's throw him an asylum, you think,

for the rest of his life and ever so rest. Of his life. Yep, sure, because of all the weed. And we're done. That's it. That's it. But of course, that can't be the last scene, because now Dr. Bullshit is here to wrap things up. Basically to give us that, you know, only you can prevent reefer fires speech at the end.

And the best part is, the movie ends with him trying to do a freeze, but he can't hold still, because he has no vitamin D, so he's got scurvy and he's like this could happen to you and you and you. You guys see me freeze it was like 10 whole seconds, God. Did we get it? You guys remember to copyright the movie right? Okay good. get it you guys remember to copyright the movie right okay good they couldn't even freeze the text on the screen and never to have a fight with the either yeah but

that's the end that's where the movie ends but that's not where we're gonna close off here oh we've got more for you yet so so now I have to admit that this movie does greatly exaggerate the dangers of marijuana, but I don't want to send any of you kids home today thinking that marijuana is entirely safe. Now between us, just everyone in this room and everyone who happens to have the internet, the three of us have smoked marijuana before before and I thought maybe to close things off we could share some of our own negative experiences with weed so everybody doesn't think it's you know cool. It's responsible. So my negative experience with weed was actually my very first experience with weed. When I was in eighth grade my my parents went out of town, and they left me at home and I had a pot party.

And I got that first time stone, you know when you get that first time stone, and you're just like, is this forever? And then the parent who was supposed to be like checking in on me, checked in on me. And notice that a bunch of strange teenagers were in my house with red eyes and the giggles. This was Jerry Cohen, a local gastroenterologist who was lovely.

And I totally nail it. I run to the door and I go, Dr. Cullen, they're here because my parents' anniversary is coming up. And we're teaching the dogs. We're going to say, listen, David. And then we say, anniversary. And they're going to lie down and play dead. And I'm rolling around on the floor in front of this poor gastroenterologist, trying to prove how sober he is.

Yeah. To prove how sober I am. And he just goes, OK. Everybody has to go home now. So that could happen if you smoked weed. You might run around Rolling in front of your gastrointrain and all entranologist. Um, Heath do you have any negative experiences with weed? No

I literally do not I have an interesting, so I've, I've been at times in my life a pharmaceutical distributor for a large multinational corporation. Hey, we're in Colorado, you can say I used to sell weed. I sell weed. That was my campus job, part of my scholarship. It was this work study. It was an entrepreneur. And besides that, just a bunch of times in my life, I've been pulled over by a police officer with a pounds of marijuana in my car. And I've literally never gotten trouble for it because I'm a white guy who looks like a Nazi.

So literally, there's so much white privilege in my life based on like, I was just like, yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't signal the thing. We're all good, are we not? And they were like, you're all good. Would you like to give me a ticket? Now, I'm gonna go shoot that ghost in your back seat. Are we not and they were like, you're all good? Would you like to give me a ticket? Now, I'm gonna go shoot that ghost in your back seat. Oh. White power. They get it.

All right, no, but to give you an idea of just how extreme this is for you. Oh, you were there for one. Yes, and they searched me. I was in the passenger seat. They pulled me though,, they smelled the car, and they looked at me and said, sir, can you step out of the car?

All right, can you tell that black gentleman with long hands to step out of your front seat? Get out of the car, second to way, let's do this. But he'd already hidden it in a little area of my car and it all went to the No, I stole this window. Someone gets fine here. Alright, wait, I've got one too.

So one time, I got so high that I thought it would be a good idea to podcast for a living. And we're going to cut out of the live show for just a second because well that does it for our review of Refer Mannis That's not gonna do it for the episode just yet because we still need to rope you back in for next week So Eli tell us what's on deck dead man rising if you watch dead man walking and thought well They didn't cover the shroud of turn at all You're gonna love this movie. Let me tell you goodie. All right well with that to look forward to we're gonna bring in what episode 187 to a merciful close. Once again a huge thanks to everybody that came out to see us in Denver a huge thanks to everybody at the Oriental Theater a huge thanks to Morgan for helping us

out there a huge thanks to Anna a huge thanks to Lucinda for helping out with Merch a huge thanks to zero for helping out with photographs and of course a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that help make the show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, the latter ranks, that is. You can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash god awful, and thereby earn early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help a ton by leaving us a five star review on iTunes, and by sharing the show and all your various social media platforms.

And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the skating ad as citation needed, the skeptic card available on iTunes Stitcher and wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions, comments or cinematic suggestions you can email gotoffemoviesaGML.com legal services for this podcast are provided by the law offices of PM Drataurus Tim Robertson takes care of our social media our theme song is written in performed by Ryan Slotnik and people Traffs on Mars all the music was written in performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clarkburn was used with permission thanks again for

giving us a check your life this week for Heathen right knee-line Bosnick I'm no illusions promised to work hard to earn another chunk next week until then we'll return to Denver for the breakfast club club. Colorado happened. And it was glorious. Bill went on to insist that he didn't inhale. Jimmy really looked at his hands. I mean like really looked at his hands. Because your fingernails are bones. No, they're not.

No, they're hairs. They're not bones. They're not bones. The whitesils are bones. No, they're not. No, they're hairs. They're not bones. They're not bones. The whites and their bones. They're not bones. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! Hey guys, I'm here. Can I be in the toothbrush? No. Okay. Okay. We're doing toothbrushes today. I'll be over here. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on a thunderstorm LLC I'll be over here.