God Awful Movies - 189: Gam189 Unplanned

Episode Date: April 2, 2019

On this week's episode, the guys team up for an atheist review of "Unplanned", the story of how Planned Parenthood secretly juggles the aborted fetuses after close, and the brave woman who had the guts to tell the truth* *Truth not included. * * * Come see us in Cincinnati at the American Atheist annual convention: https://www.aacon2019.org/ * * * If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Abby Johnson is a liar link dump : The abortion she saw never happened:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abby_Johnson_(activist)  She got yelled at at work so she turned over doctor and patient records to terrorists : https://www.salon.com/2009/11/03/planned_parenthood_2/  She actually left work cause she didn’t want to work Saturdays and got yelled at:  https://www.texasmonthly.com/politics/the-convert/  She didn’t “win” anything: https://web.archive.org/web/20110713174843/http://www.kwtx.com/home/headlines/69764852.html 

Yeah, all right. I have a stopwatch. I'm gonna get you pregnant. You tell me when it's a baby with a soul loved by Jesus I just came on you It's now it's now it's when I came on you. Yeah And we literally get the line. Well, how is eight weeks different than 24 weeks? How those two numbers different? 12. I don't get the question. 12?

No, it's not 12. It's 16. You got it wrong. Okay. But it's a number is the difference. Not awful. Movie. Movie.

Movie. Movie. Who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be And right, Heath, welcome back. Thanks Noah. You know who fuck this movie? This is unconscionable. I'm so mad. He's fucking get it over with. Eli have this whole big thing in the A segment that he wanted to read. And he's like, Hey, I just want to put the facts out there before people, you know, like new listeners turn off this movie before before the listeners turn off the show for

us and fucking I'm like, dude, we're not going to make it to midway through the A segment without saying fuck. Are you kidding me? Did you see this fucking movie? Oh, yeah, and speaking of Eli, he's 81 miles to my right and is my bad friend Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? I am amazing. No, I've been doing air box.

I don't even know how boxing worked, but I've been doing it. This is why we do the job. Look, most of our job is just like uneducated people just shambling their way in front of a VHS camcorder. They got when grandma died and being like, I sure do loves the Jesus more than I didn't before and we're like, oh, you're bad at making movies. That's fine.

It's got its place. But when we get to take off these just purely evil things, it's why I do the job. I woke up. This is 100% true. I saw this movie. I went to bed. I woke up at three in the morning, stark awake, woke up, sprang out of bed, just to yell about how much I hated this food.

Nobody. I have been, oh, I have fairly questioned my life choices more than I did walking out of this theater. Happy that I got to see this movie, right? Like they, it professionally, I was happy this movie existed as a human. I am just devastated that this movie existed, but professionally I was stoked. Yeah. It's like $6 million of budget to do this. People put money into this fucking crazed. All right. So tell us, Heath, what did they put $6 million in to? We watched unplanned. It's the story of fuck this movie. It's uncomfortable.

It's the story of the heroes who stand along the fence of planned parenthood locations and harass women getting medical care. I was in a theater by myself, just pacing around, yelling at the screen like a crazy person. That sounds so much better. Nobody was there. I'm so mad.

It was not, at one point, I knocked on the wall under the projector booth, trying to get the projector person to come down and apologize and explain the hate crime they were about it. I'm so mad. Oh god. Oh, it really was. Oh, well, you know what, that's not my job. We've got a guy for that Eli. How bad was this movie? Oh, okay. Well, if you ever watched people harassing rape victims at an abortion clinic and been confused as to who is the bad guy. You will love this movie. Okay, we're gonna talk about where I was. We're gonna talk about where we were.

I'm sorry. No, we'll get there. We'll get there. Okay, so this, we should say right up for this, is the story of Abby Johnson. And I was trying to think of a way to encapsulate who Abby Johnson is quickly for you. We're gonna spend the whole episode talking about who Abby Johnson is, but just so you know who we're talking about going in. And this is what I came up with. From time to time on this show,

we like to make jokes and but amongst ourselves, we make jokes about how one of these days, we're gonna quit the show and pretend that we found God and make the real money, right? Because that's what like we would do if we had absolutely no morals or ethics whatsoever. We'd be like, oh, I found God. Atheism was wrong the whole time. They've been dying for somebody to do that.

I would imagine you do the same thing when you work at Planned Parenthood once in a while. Your boss tells you you got to work overtime. You didn't want to work over time. You're not going to get the day off. You want it or whatever. And you walk away, Grumb, I'm gonna go tell him, version protestors, you guys juggle fetuses in the back room. I would imagine that's like a standard joke at Planned Parenthood. Abbey Johnson is the bitch

that actually did that. Yes she is. Yes, she is that hometown friend on your Facebook who's always like, hate my life, hate my job, FML post. She's that, but also a native informant on women. If you could combine those things, if it's essential oil sales meets if fat lies could be a person is what she is. So the worst and the movie and the movie. Yeah. Please sue me, Abby Johnson. I can't tell you how badly I want you to sue me. I don't want Please, well, please sue us. Oh, I'm a kickbox me. Yeah, yeah, right, right. If she gets sentenced to go into the ring with one of us That would be I have no idea how to kickbox. I'll fucking learn I want that one. I want that montage. So goddamn,

keep going. It's in your hands. I want that montage. So goddamn, at keep going. Happy make that montage happen. It's in your hands. I already heard myself thinking about it. Yeah, obviously. Pulled a hammy. All right. So of course, now this is one of those rare instances where we went out and saw an R rated movie.

Woo. I think this is our third R rated movie. If you don't count our monthly Patreon only secular bonus episodes that you can get by going to patreon.com slash God awful. Guys, after watching it, do you guys have any guesses as to why this might have earned an R rating? Oh, because an angel at the MPAA was like, Hey, you know how we keep this piece of shit from being seen by a bunch of children

on church groups? Bloop are rating. Bloop. Then then she high fived herself that mysterious angel and walked out of whatever weird tiny room they make this. Oh, two votes for that. If there's that person in the world, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I was thinking it was the baby bits. Like, okay. So you remember that scene at the end of Kill Bill one where she say, you know, the house of blue leaves and she takes out the crazy 88 and they have that pan shot where she's telling them to leave their limbs because they belong to her now. And you have that pan shot where there's just legs and arms and everywhere. This entire movie like at the plant parent and clinic That's the backdrop but with baby parts

You know Carly Fiorina's nightmares You know how Tarantino doesn't have fetuses. Yeah Something along those lines. Yeah, all right. So is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best to be in the worst at? Yeah, okay, I going to go with best worst forgetting that terrorism is bad. And then realizing during your and they just keep going. And then ignoring it. Yeah. They just ignore it. So again, this is a pro life propaganda movie. And they accidentally rode in a planned parenthood doctor getting shot in the head by a Christian

terrorist. And obviously the movie itself at that point became mentally paralyzed. And everyone just like turns the camera at the same time and they're like, what? Should we vamp? Do you want us to sing a fucking song? The fuck is happening. And scene. What scene? Don't say anything. They just move on. They sure do. Yep. Yeah, a lot of that that like, well, you know, but if the terrorism is motivated correctly, a lot of that apologetic showing up in this film. I was going to go with best worst hard sell and I know there's

so many other things I could have gone with but there's a point in this movie where the main character is hard selling abortions and I could sell abortions so much better and plan parenthood talk to me. Here's my pitch. Hey, fly anywhere from anywhere. It's like that, but always plus for going to the seas list disappointment. Here, sign the paper. Yeah, no, no, the good. Yeah, trust me. There's not a line. Oh, okay. I am going. There's so much. I want it. We could, this is a nine hour episode. Everybody. It's a fuck. I could be a nine hour episode. It needs to not be. It really needs to not be. Go ahead. We're gonna go with best worst moment for me to laugh really loudly all by myself in a crowded movie

theater full of children. Yep. We'll get to it. I could have gone with that one too. You had a crowded theater of children. Oh, we'll get to it. Heath, we will get to it. See, this is why we need, no, go ahead. All right. Well, now that we've started this episode, we have to carry it to term. I am in Georgia after all.

So we'll be back after this quick break to dig into all the R rated baby parts that are unplanned. Hi, I'm Eli Bosnick, here to tell you about stapling roadkill to your forehead. Eli, what? It's true. 66% of men start to lose their hair by age 35, but if you find a big enough raccoon and a powerful enough staple gun, nobody can tell. I can super tell. There's just like a ton of blood.

He's just telling. That's right, Heath. Now, a ton of people would tell you to go to fourhims.com, the one-stop shop for hair loss, skin care, and sexual wellness for men. But why do that? When this squirrel was free, it was at least like a million reasons. Dude, I'm going to be sick. Sure.

Hims.com connects you with real doctors and medical grade solutions to treat hair loss and products are shipped directly to your door. But all this armadillo cost was a shovel and a walk around the highway. Uh, an armadillo doesn't even make it look like you have hair when you do it. No, that's armadillo. That's right, Heath. So if you want to order now, gamelisters, get a trial month of hymns for just $5 today. Right now, while supplies last, restrictions apply.

See website for full details. This would cost hundreds if you went to the doctor of pharmacy. Just go to forehimns.com slash Gam. That's F-O-R-H-I-M-S dot com slash Gam. for to forehims. Not, never else. From the makers of heaven is for real, miracles from heaven and unplanned. I'm an evil atheist and I'm going to eat your dick. Oh no! Yep. Comes the realization that if your entire world view is based on a talking ghost, based on a true story kind of loses its meaning.

Angel wings? How do you grow those? Way to Grandma's old Bible, of course. Because if you're going to be full of shit, go big. Barack Obama! I'm here to steal the sword out of Jesus' mouth. This suburb... ...liars.

I'm a lizard person. I knew it! Yup. And we're back for the breakdown, but before we get to that, this was a field trip, and normally we'll take a minute to share with our listeners a few of our pre-movie experiences after those. So, fellas, I... drove through rural highways for two hours and fifteen minutes either way how are your pre-movie

experiences i'm so glad you asked know up my theater was filled with teenagers on a church trip oh no wow so i come in i am the only non-member of this church. It is lit, the whole theater is full, except for me. There is a monk there, like a guy with the ball to pay and the dress. He's in the audience. There's the parents in the front and then this big group of teenage kids. And it's the science-seat theater. So I'm like between two teenagers. That's going to be important very end of the episode.

Wow, don't forget. And then the leader lady during Marina Marudos, Manuindos, is trying to talk and the leader lady gets up and starts to give a like just say crazy lies about abortion to sort of introduce the movie. And so I go nope. And then I turn around and hush the guy behind me. And he was and everyone blamed him and they were livid at him. They were like, he was so, that guy is going to find and murder me, but it was a million percent worth it.

And it was this huge moment in the theater that when I yelled, no, because she was, she was like, and now they just made it legal in New York to kill a baby after it's born. And I just went, no. And then I turned around and was like, the guy who was very clearly not the at fault, but they all looked because I was turning around. And then I turned back and she was like, also we bought everyone popcorn, but I had ruined the moment. I had ruined her popcorn announcement by pointing out she was a liar.

Did you also dox the guy by saying his Twitter handle is at Heathen, right? Because I have like 25 new things based on something that happened last night. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. When he like gets in an argument on Twitter, we all know about it in the morning. Look. Look. Let's not look.

Should I even should I even click on it? No, yeah. No, it's not. Look on it. It's not look. Should I even should I even click on it? No, it's not. It's probably not worth it. So I saw this in a more or less, full theater. Of course, mine were all, I went in like one 30 on Friday afternoon. So mine were all retirees, like super Christian retirees. I was the youngest person in the theater by, oh, I don't know. 24 years.

Weird. And, uh, yeah, no, I don't know 24 years. And, uh, yeah, no, I had, I had fun. Like they all sit at the front. It's amazing. That's terrifying. Okay. So for me, first of all, I had to drive into goddamn Kentucky again. That was terrifying. And um, there was supposed to be one other person in my theater when I bought the tickets and you, you know, you get the assigned seats. I was like, weird. There's one other person in my theater. When I bought the tickets and you, you know, you get the assigned seats, I was like, weird, there's one other person at this 10, 25 PM showing on a Thursday night. That's weird. I wonder what's going to happen. And then it was completely empty when I got there. And I was really mad. I was angry because like I was expecting

something. I started wondering like, who the fuck was that other single person? I was angry because like I was expecting something. I started wondering like, who the fuck was that other single person? I see in this movie by themselves at 10 30 p.m. and I'm so curious who that was. And then I got angrier because I would like expected some camaraderie or something. And then I was like, okay, well, nobody shows up. I'm going to like Norman Bates, a Christian couple next to me or something. I got really mad. Nobody showed up. Well, okay, so I should probably introduce the couple behind me right off the bat because

they will be characters in my review. So I've got this 60 something couple sitting behind me just, just ready to yell amen at a moment's notice, right? Like they weren't gonna be the first to do it, but if anyone else in the theater yelled at, if I had yelled a man, they'd have been in, right? And also you could have been like, you say, hold your hand right away. I'm so good.

You could have killed them. Oh my God. If you just kept starting the chant, they would have eventually passed it. I was planning to start that chant at the end of the movie, but I was God damned by myself. So I did it. Right, right. Well, I totally could have started a U.S.

from this room. I missed out. All right. Just really quick. One other really, really rough moment. I'm watching the previews. And then I realized like, wow, I cannot express how sad it is that I've seen all these Christian movie previews.

Yeah, several times already crushing it in life. It was rough. Hey, hey, we are. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Unfortunately, we have to talk about unplanned, which begins with even the, even the fucking narrator's apologizing for us having to watch this movie, right? Right away. we have to talk about unplanned, which begins with even the, even the fucking narrators

apologizing for us having to watch this movie, right? Right away. Like, okay, first of all, it starts on the words based on a true story. Somehow they managed to sneak that in without an asterisk or a citation needed tag or anything. It's amazing how they, that's not a legally protected term. You just throw that in any movie. Can't yeah.

Literally first thing that happens based on a true story already lying. You're already like nobody even spoke yet. Your first title card was literally a lie. Yeah. Zero seconds in lying. And then you wait the only way to lie earlier was like to tell us that this was brought to us by Paramount, right? And then the narrator, the first spoken word is the narrator saying, my story isn't an easy one to hear or watch or believe. Well, she doesn't add those other two, but that's

implied. But yeah, the narrator is over and over again warning us, this thing will be pretty. All we actually got an R rating and kind of fucked us really need you to sneak your kids into this somehow. You will see some raw fetus like raw but sneak your kids in please. Yeah. We went to the local sushi place to get our special effects. I said we should Google how big a 13 week feed it. We'll get to it. We'll get. It's really easy. You can find it. Very, very small.

It's a concern. So then we open on some mom and daughter shenanigans. This is where we're going to meet Abby Johnson and her husband and child played by Ashley Bradshaw, who listeners will remember for War Room and not the fucking thing else. Oh, she was the lead. Yeah, and it has not been that long and she has aged badly. She is living proof that moisture riser cannot cover your black heart. Ashley Bradshaw looks like someone brought an old saddle to the makeup counter at Macy's. She is not, wait, not a good look through this movie.

My note here was, fuck these beautiful people. That's good, man. Like, I want to see, I want to see, like, yeah, the husband was even more attractive. Like, I want to see dad bod in a movie. Just show me some fucking love handles. Just be realistic about it. Some drool and some sweat patch on your sheet when you wake up, like, just be honest.

I haven't seen this. I've seen Abby Johnson. I haven't seen her husband, but something tells me this is not a very good analog. Oh, she definitely was at the casting. And like, this person looks just like me. Nope. Nope. Nope.

All right. So, Bob has to leave from her shenanigans with the daughter and go to work. Daughter is super disappointed. She wants to play Tea Party. But mom though works at an abortion clinic. She's always busiest on Saturdays because them drunken sleds really go to town on Friday nights. You see they love their Saturday abortions. was used on Saturdays because them drunken sluts really go to town on Friday nights, you see. They love their Saturday abortions.

Yeah. Gross. It's an add on to a Friday night Uber now. It's like, would you like to be picked up tomorrow for your abortion? Yeah. Yeah. X XL or plan pern. All right.

And then we get the opening credits. The yes, we're already this pissed off before the opening credits, which is bucolic Americana B roll. And it occurred to me as I'm watching this, this could be like our safety net business guys. We could just like film shitting this and send it to peer flicks for their credit sequences.

That could be a full time gig. Ooh, I like it. Just see what they'll put into a movie like a steaming pile of dog feces. And you're just like, oh, look, made it into God's not dead seven. Here we go. Hey, I mean, no, you said the feces wouldn't make it into the movie. Come on. My nickel now. Yeah.

And during this buccolic Americana, we're getting some music. And the song I think is called this movie is going to change everything. Or something very close to that. Yes. It's so dumb. And by the way, just a little trivia for you, this movie got denied so many times trying to get songs for their soundtrack. Every label was like, oh, the anti-land parenthood movie, respectfully, dear serves or mams,

go fuck yourself. Yeah. If we will not give you any songs, they couldn't get Cindy Lopper. Girls just want to have fun, which I'm very happy about. They couldn't get one direction. They tried to get one of their songs. They couldn't get Oingo Boingo. It was rough for them. You can't get Danny Elfman into your movie soundtrack. You're doing something. Yeah.

No, Oingo Boingo tells you to fuck yourself. You're the problem. There's a lot of red flags. There should have been a lot of red flags for everyone involved in this film Who's who's who docks themselves as part of this strangely right here at the beginning? All right, so now it's time for the narrator to tell us about that time She realized abortion was evil and it all started when she went to work for planned parenthood full-time for most of a decade I love the opening line here too. She goes, I've been asked a million times, are you really that gullible? I mean, dude, she's a fucking Christian. Yes.

Yeah. Clearly, that's the fun. Her religion is based on that word. That's the whole thing. Yeah. And the first thing that happens, she pulls into plan parenthood and there's a signed parking at the clinic out in the middle of the suburbs with plenty of space in Texas too. Like, maybe the patients get the good spots if you're going to do that the way away. Are you serious? Some girl pulls in 13-year-old.

She's made a halfway. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you need to go to the B lot and get that shuttle. Jesus. Also, just the ominous way they zoom in on the planned parenthood sign, I, I had to bite through my goddamn lower lip not to laugh in this room full of children. It might as well like creak in the wind and have an old farmer pointing to a pet cemetery next to it.

Oh, if there was a fetus version of pet cemetery, this, this would be it. This would be it. What cemetery? All right. So, okay. So she's at the clinic one day and they needed help with an abortion. She's got to hold the ultrasound thing for the doctor so he can see what he's killing. Now, I want to point out right off the bat. In her memoir, she describes this as a 13-week abortion. This thing would be approximately the size of a peepod. It would weigh an ounce. It would be approximately as sentient as a mentally damaged goldfish. Okay, but that's what we're supposed to be sympathetic to, right? This fucking three inch long goldfish fetus. And we do not see a three inch long goldfish. We see I would approximate a four year old child. And the way this baby fights on its way down the hose, this is absurd.

If this wasn't scary propaganda meant to scare women out of their rights, this would be the funniest thing I'd ever seen. I laughed by myself at the point. Me too, and I laughed by myself. I was nuts. Yeah, the the fetus is doing like dive rolls or every news like a fucking ninja. You've actually finally yeah, it does some blocks, it does some like neo dodges. Eventually,

it just gives up and yells freedom like great hard. It's so dumb. Suck my fat dick. And just gets sucked out by a giant hose. It's so stupid. Oh, okay. So wait, wait, so get sucked out. Let's describe this. So they, they have a pole start on the fetus mower. Right? Yes.

So this evil doctor's just like, all right, here we go. Ringing in the name. Let's do this. I got my tray of rusty knives and chainsaws and blue torches right here. Yeah, this fucking tray looks like the selection and the third act of a zombie flick or something. Yeah. And okay, so he, he pole starts his fetus more and we get pounds of baby slurry, right?

It's they fill up to like evergreen water tanks of baby. There might as well be a honey dipper emptying a septic tank for the truck there. So abortion is apparently a lot like ghost busters. That's the visual we got here. And we get this visual, by the way, on a giant projection screen that they use to show this happening to literally show the uterus itself while this baby is fighting and being sucked out. It's on a giant screen like families with picnics are sitting in a park watching

and then going in an amd. John Madden's circleling shit. Yeah. The penis is swinging around the sucker like a pole dancer doing from running. It's like the scene from saving private Ryan. The hose is like, shawft, shawft. Now, okay, so look, if you put the three of us together in like a hot tub size blender, we would not produce as much human smoothie as is produced in this abortion. No, absolutely not.

This is six John Budjus' worth of material. Also, by the way, what the fuck was the doctor wearing during this? He has like a, like a hazmat suit with like a full cage. And he steps into a mech suit with like saw blade arms. There's so much going on. Oh, we have to talk about how evil the doctor is every time we see him, right? Yeah. Like the doctor, like they go out of this way for him to bite the head off of a kitten every time he's in the background. And this thing is a great example. Right before he starts the abortion, right?

He like gets the hose all fixed to the baby and he looks into the camera and goes, be me up sky. And it starts to suck this nine year old child abortion. We like to have some fun here at Planned Parenthood. And so he sucks off the arms and the legs and the babies. It's only a freshman. It's like the black night. And then finally the head gets stuck at the very end and the tip of the hose. And like literally the baby might as well, the fetus might as well turn to camera and be like, suck my fat dick. Fuck. Man, it's ridiculous.

It's like when you try to vacuum up a paper clip and it won't go. It's just like, uh, he just is back on the floor. All right, just bend down and pick it up. No, I'm using the vacuum. I'm using the thing. It doesn't fit, man. There's a block. Uh, but all right.

So when Abby, the main character, she sees this and she has she has to run off and lock herself in the bathroom to have a cry. And I just love this moment. So the nurse another nurse walks up and she like knocks on the door and she's like, Hey, Abby, are you okay? Do you need to see a doctor? And she's like, no, they're so evil. No, they killed babies.

What if he confuses me for a baby? Now, Jans, can we talk about the most wonderful thing about this scene? Which is? What's that? Which is that it's never fucking happened. Amen, brother. Amen. I guess that is a positive. Yeah.

So, yeah, so here's the reality. Lies, it's a lying thing. Yeah, both Planned Parenthood and the state's records can confirm that this type of abortion, the ultrasound assisted abortion did not happen anywhere in the state of Texas on or around the time she said this happened, right? This is a verifiably false claim. I was watching Info Wars. It might have been the deep state of Texas. Yeah, right. Oh, this is what Jade Helm was all about.

That's what it is. Oh, yeah. Now we know what the Helm was. Yeah. Jade Helm negative points. So again, just to be clear, literally everyone except Abby Johnson, who's response, by the way, is nah, nah, they faked state and in clinic records, knows that this is complete and total bullshit.

We're going to talk about why she quit later, but this is not why. Well, right, and let's be super clear about it. In order for her story to be correct, the state record keepers in Texas have to be in on this, right? Like the politicians in Texas have to be in the pockets of big abortion. Yeah. All right. Like really big abortion, like enormously large over the top size, comically large abortion.

All right. So now we're going to cut to eight years earlier and find out how she got in such a mess to begin with. We join her as a college junior at a volunteer expo learning about plan parenthood. Right. And she is incredible. So this is obviously a retrofit of I used to have a brain. And before I trade it up

someone at plant parenthood explain how important plant parenthood was for women's health and actually reducing abortion because you actually want to reduce abortion giving up birth control is an amazing way to do it but she now has to retrofit that story which is basically a lady at a job fair tricked me with the not, not, not kill babies, riddle. The riddle was just like, yeah, plan parenthood tries to minimize abortions just to be clear. Like nobody's like, kill that baby, you want to say, nobody's like, nobody whose pro choice is like excited about the abortion thing.

It's right. Yeah. Which is an extremely important point that they accidentally made here. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That's the thing, right? Like they show this as them tricking her into working for them by saying, no, no, we're

trying to reduce the word, but that's true. That's just a true fucking thing. It's it's verifiable, by the way, to anyway, ask so much of this is, but yeah, so she volunteered what a doop, but she can tell something's wrong. And this is how she knows she's got a heuristic for this. She's like, but if I was so proud, why didn't I tell my mom about it? And I'm like, well, your mom's a bitch. We're going to meet her later. Yeah, your mom's. And let's point out the insidiousness of using this line because she goes never trust a decision you don't want your mom to know about which she might

as well turn to camera and be like right scared teenagers who need an abortion. Your parents will be mad. Huh? Huh? Yeah. So much of this movie winks at the fear of children. Yeah, no. And also in case anybody needed a ready example of straight privilege that line is there as well. You know, imagine how boring her sex life has to be if that's her her heristic for whether something tomorrow. I don't know. My mom was like throwing out tips like she's. Yeah, well, no, if it was your one, maybe that would actually be a good heuristic for you. You've got an awesome. First they card from my mom, lick the alphabet.

Come on. So weird. So really, that's a cool tip, actually. Nobody knows. Nobody sees that coming. Good one, mom. So now, okay. So she shows up for her first day of volunteering at Planned Parenthood.

And we get to meet the heroes of the movie, people who stand outside of Borschen clinics screaming murderer at the women trying to get help. Yeah, the terrorists is what we call those people. Terrorists, that is the word. They're standing on the outside of the fence that needs to be there for the protection of the women, their terrorizing. Right.

Like, think about how many times we stand inside the fence with the camera and look out at the Christians and how much more fucked up this movie is if they put the camera on the outside of the fence and realize that these women are in a small little prison. Right? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like they did that. I feel like they, they, they, they filmed some shots like that.

They're like, oh, we are very obviously evil when you look at it from that direction. The guys quick, let's not just show the inside and how safe they are from us. Right. So they know how to cut stuff. That's weird. It'll come later that it seems like they don't know how to cut stuff. But yeah, yeah, okay, but those are the good guys. And now it's time to meet the boss, Cruella Devage.

Oh my, this, the attempt to make this woman a villain in the movie is the hardest stretch I have ever seen and I regularly Google contortionist porn. They're just like everything about this woman. She's like dialing a phone evil. She's like, K-I-L-L, that's my cell phone. If you need me. There's contortionist porn. Yeah, go back to that.

You learn all sorts of things here. She is goddamn damn comic book. On your game at all moments, right? Okay. So, but yeah, so she meets her. We learn that Saturday is abortion day, right? They only do abortions on Saturday. And the protesters know it. That's why there's so many of them, including evil guy Fieri. Yeah. That's guy Fieri is one of the protesters and he's such a bad heckler. I laughed for a while at this too.

Not just because literally Guy Fieri pulled me out of the movie but because he was so stumbling at his hackles, it was the best. I bet you luck to kill, don't say baddies, baby. Start over, pull back out and pull back again. I got a good one now. I don't pull back out and wait until I

give you the go ahead with my head. I'll have one. Don't try and read off your hand on camera man. Everyone can see it's sweaty. I sweat. Slaver town dead. That's the flavor town. Dead.

Oh, all right. All right. By the way, just one more time, just so everybody, you know, it has it at the top of their mind throughout how evil this movie is Abby's new job is to go out to people's cars and talk with the clients. So the only thing they hear isn't your murderer, your murderer when they get to the clinic. Those are the bad guys. Those are the bad guys

are the good guys are the terrorists on the other side of the fence. Yeah. And oh, by the way, okay, so here's here's Cruella's first active evil, right? She's like, I want those protesters arrested and sprayed with water hoses, damn it. Yeah. And she's like, I want those protesters arrested and sprayed with water hoses, damn it. Yeah. And she's like, we have to call the cops and they feed this so still did technical line to one of the nurses. The nurse just like turns to Cameron goes, but evil boss, they are not technically breaking the law for they are an exact amount of feet away from our healthcare facility. And she's like curse them and their totally legal activities. Yeah. Right. As if technically legal and moral were interchangeable terms. But I did enjoy the introduction of the turn on the sprinkler

technique. That was great. That's pretty excellent. Like I wanted the sprinklers to be like riot hoses at this point. I was like, oh, we're going to do this. Yes. But even just the sprinklers when they do turn the look was was pretty satisfying. Yeah, they turn on the sprinklers to run off the protesters. Hooray for them. All right. So she does her first day as an escort and then she's on her way home.

And this is where she meets the good abortion protest of the north yes the american coalition for life or as they're called in this movie so you don't google them the coalition for life ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha created wanted posters that listed the names and addresses of abortion providers offering a $5,000 reward to anyone who could stop them and then put them physically all over the place as well as on the internet. Bounty is what you're describing. Yep.

Yep. Good guys. Good guys put a bounty on Dr. Skull. Then two, they published another list of abortion providers, judges, and pro-choice advocates on their website, which they called their Nuremberg files and crossed out the names of people who had been killed or injured by anti-choice advocates. Yeah. Check.

Check. Yep. What the fuck? As a result, they lost a lawsuit to plan parenthood where they had to pay $107 million of their tax-free dollars. That's the good guys in this movie. Just keep that in mind as you watch. These are the heroes of this movie.

But the key here though is that good abortion protestor lady agrees with Abby that bad abortion protestors are bad. She's like, no, no, I'm from the coalition of life. We will copy your license plate and then use it to send vengeful postcards to your home. That's three on Eli's list. Another thing that they did, but we won't be dressed as the grim reaper outside of the clinic. That's mean.

That would be weird. We're the good guys. Yeah. Oh would be really. We're the good guys. Yeah. Oh, all right. But now, okay, because this story has the pacing of an excuse that's being constructed on the fly by a drunken idiot, we now have to flashback within the flashback tech. William Bar pacing. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. I sent you guys up earlier for William bar joke when I said something about being technically legal and moral as interchangeable and nobody took it. So we just moved on. That's okay. All right. But yeah, but the black and black.

William bar. Yeah. We're going to flash back to that fucking joke because we're going to be like this goddamn movie this movie I guess you could say it was like William Barr right Morgan right Morgan put that in All right anyway, so we get the nested flashback to Abby's first abortion All right, so she got pregnant with she was in college by an older guy who just wanted her for her fertile vagina Classic and she should have known at the moment. He showed up wearing a matching shorts and

tucked in button-down plaid Jump suit. I was weird. Interesting call. So weird choice. Interesting call. Hey, what do we put the bad older boyfriend in romper? Okay. Too quick. Too quick. We are going with romper, but just know that I'm a fat. Here's the romper I want to use. You took off the clothes you're wearing and you had the romper on underneath. Your naked and when a wind is. If you got to be naked, all right. So, but yeah, and here's a terrible fucking argument that they present. She says, to get my first abortion, I had to get my first credit card.

And I'm like, yeah, there you go. Not having children will put you into debt. Why don't you hang some more your credibility on that argument? Let me tell you what's the most affordable thing, giving birth to a child. That credit card could be 90,000% interest and still be a good financial move. Yeah, yeah, from purely financial terms, but yes, as she tells the story of her abortion, and I love the ending. They have her in the recovery room being miserable about her abortion or whatever.

And she has this line that is basically, this is such a slight paraphrase. I aborted my fetus and all I got were these lousy crackers. Yes. And again, this is her trying to twist the fact that abortion is such a safe, clean, and quick medical procedure that you're sitting the hallway for a second afterwards. You sort of shake off the woozeys, they give you some crackers and you can go home. It's a goddamn miracle. Past generations will look up at this at the peak of our scientific abilities and she's like, and he even have any milk with the crackers, fucking original flavor,

cheesets. They could have get like more than other ones. Like if they had like baguettes and camembert, they'd be cool with this whole process. It's obvious we need to become abortion caterers. That's right. We're opening an abortion clinic. We don't know how to do abortions, but we will cook you up nice afterwards. I don't have to do that either. But yeah. Oh, also, by the way, in the middle of this flashback, the good for nothing, lethario boyfriend that they just set up also married her.

Yep. Right? Yeah. Um, so we get their, their wedding dad is not very happy. And then her husband cheated on her on Valentine's Day. Oh, what a dad. Yeah. He also made sandwiches for Valentine's Day,

which was described as something negative, and I was confused by that, like who wouldn't want sandwiches on, but then he cheated, so. Okay. Great Valentine's Day. I'm confused by how you got confused by that. That's very, very, very good.

You guys don't like sandwiches? Who doesn't like sandwiches? Doesn't matter what day of the year it is. It gets sandwiched. So like one of the best foods. That's crazy. That's crazy. Deeth is Mark everybody.

We've been waiting to tell you for a long time. This is his chance to finally get back and happy now. All right. So yeah, so she divorces him, but damn it. If afterwards she didn't find out she was pregnant again. Yep. But now it's time for us to suffer through her painful chemical abortion with her. And we basically watch what I can only assume is what it looks like when Eli takes a shit.

Okay, to be fair, I am suing this movie for stealing that footage. I sent that to my doctor as a medical person. Are you also suing the alien franchise? We should point out this sequence could not be more exaggerated. Again, if it wasn't meant to scare children out of taking care of themselves medically. This is hilarious. She's bleeding and vomiting like an exorcism. She hits out chunks of, you know, nine year old baby at one point. And that's the toss them in the toilet. It gets clogged and they come back together like the terminator and T2. They form and they try to stab her with their fetus sharp hands. It's nuts. Like she's bleeding with like a blast radius the size of the entire bathroom.

Just like a scene from Dexter. It was crazy. Never let up the balloon go. It's like that, but with blood. Well, she's the balloon. The blood's just propelling her along. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

The fetus might as well pop out and have dying words. It is absurd. Yeah. Oh, it's, it's literally, she's got just dead baby chunks falling on the floor. She starts slipping on them. I'm not exaggerating. That's what happens in the film. So yeah, and then she tells us it's 12 hours

of agony all together. So yes, we watch Eli take a shit. Exactly. And then she calls planet parenthood and they're like, yes, sometimes you shit dead baby chunks all over your floor. What the fuck do you want us to do about it? What can I say, four out of 10 times

you turn into a slot machine of agony and blood. Sorry. And this is, this is the evil crewel direct direct relating on the phone, right? And this point, I think so. Or whoever they're trying to characterize as evil at the, at the Planned Parenthood Clinic, everyone there is evil. Right, everybody's supposed to be evil. She's on the phone with one of those people.

And the person's like, yeah, I'm sure you're having a rough time with the thing over there, but I don't have time for this and your baby's dead man nailed it high five. Sorry, I'm in the weeds here at work. Can I call you back? That's literally what happens. I'm really busy. Yeah, I'm in the murder.

I'm writing a tweet and you're kind of fucking up my flow. It's eight o'clock on a Saturday night. You know this is when we get a pop. Get out of here. Yeah. So in our abortion montage, we've seen that women regret their abortions, that they're terribly painful, terribly dangerous. I think it's time to kick it over to Carl, the Pug of Pegacorn, or brand new segment we like to call kicking it with Carl.

If you're watching a movie that's full of lies, I'm the Pug of Pegacorn here to open your eyes when misogynists try to scare you. I'm the Pug of Pegacorn here to tell you the truth. It's kicking it with carol. Hey everybody, it's me, God of Pogapagocca. My guest today is Lucinda Luzans. Lucinda, welcome to kicking it with carol. Thanks for having me, Carl. So tell me, Lucinda, this movie sure makes it seem like women regret their abortions. Is that true? No, Carl, it's not. According to a 2015 study, over 95% of women don't regret the decision

to terminate their pregnancies. 95%? Wow. But what about like over time? I mean, did they end up regretting it later? Nope. In fact, over time women are more likely to think that abortion was the right decision for them.

According to a study, all results of declining emotional intensity find steady or improving levels of self-esteem, life satisfaction, stress, social support, substance abuse, and it does have depression and anxiety over time post abortion. So if someone tells me that like people regret abortions I should. You tell him to shove it right up their ass, girl. All the fucking way up their ass. Okay. But what about that scene where the abortion pill makes

her super sick? Is that real? Well, Carl, it's extremely rare. The two drugs she used by a plant parent who had a myth of Pristone, followed by my super stall. They can cause mild nausea, abdominal pain, and headaches, but the vast majority of patients don't experience anything worse than a normal, heavy period.

Okay, but what about the scary stuff that happened in the movie with the bleeding and the eight weeks of feeling super sick? Well, according to what I could find, severe side effects like those that occur in less than 1% of the patients, which makes it one of the safest comi medical procedures in the universe. Hmm, but having worked at Planned Parenthood, wouldn't Abby Johnson know how rare those side effects were? She would, but she's a lion bitch. Oh, I see.

Okay, one last question, Lucinda. What do you call an alligator detective? Hmm, I don't know, girl. question, Lucinda. What do you call an alligator detective? I don't know, Carl, what? An investigator. I'll Carl. It's kicking it with Carl. Oh.

Thank you, Carl. Okay. So now Abby heads back for more clinic work. All right. So and her job is, I guess going to job exposed now and suckering in more naive innocent Christians to assist in their fetal genocide. Right. By wearing their pink cowgirl mascot uniform that they have that they go to job fairs with. I thought that was a weird choice. Very strange. I like it. I like it. Yep. We also get some shots of her arguing with her family about working for plant parenthood Oh my and this is where they try their viability straw man the

Argument yeah, all right. I have a stopwatch. I'm gonna get you pregnant you tell me When it's a baby with a soul love by Jesus. I just came on you. It's now. It's now. It's when I came on you. Yeah. And we literally get the line, well, how is eight weeks different than 24 weeks? It's just like, um, 12. I don't get this question. 12. No, it's not 12. You did 16. You got it wrong. Okay. But it's, it's a number is the difference. Right. But, but her mom is classy. Mom also hates the abortions. But she's classy enough to take her into the kitchen to call her a baby murderer. It's like, just passive aggressively clank plates at her because she thinks she's participating

in a baby Holocaust. It's like, okay, you look like you're done with that pie if you're gonna kill over 60 million children a year. I'm gonna say, honey, honey, I need help in the kitchen while you don't kill dead babies. That'd be great. Thanks. This is my, possibly my favorite line in the kitchen while you don't kill dead babies. That'd be great. Thanks. Thanks.

This is my, possibly my favorite line in the movie. I need you to listen to me and not say anything. And I just said, the Christianity story. Yeah. There's also, again, we have one of the many great, why would you put this in your movie things? Because Abby turns to her and she goes, hey, you know, we found a woman's uterine cancer today. And she's like, I, I know, we found a woman's uterine cancer today.

And she's like, I, I know that's the majority of the care that they do a plan paranoid, but we're not acknowledging that in the movie. So I, um, fuck that lady. Don't get cancer. It's a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really

really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really with the, uh, righteous unwritten cancer. You're an asshole. Um, this is also where we meet her new fiance and the flashback who also doesn't approve of abortion. Right. So she knows she's a second wedding wearing white to abortions and one ex-husband and tacky. Yeah.

And we get the new husband for a second talking to her dad and the dad's all excited. He's like, oh, you're like a Christian. You're like for a life. Cool. Uh, you do know that my daughter is a baby killer. Are you sure you love her? You're going to do this marriage and he's like, oh, what are you going to do? Love his love.

Talk her out of it. And then they get married. Yeah. Yeah. And this time, but this time, dad's really happy through the wedding. All right. So after the wedding, she has back to work at Planned Parenthood, where she exchanges pleasantries with good protestor lady. Oh my gosh. How are you harassing rape victims

mostly? Oh my god. That's amazing girl. You look great. You look great. Thank you. Thank you. Do you want to buy some thrives? No. Okay, stop murdering babies. Bye. Yeah. Well, no, but before they before they shuffle off, we have to meet her fiancee, a good abortion protestor whose name is like Mary Lisa or some red neck nonsense, the good abortion protestor lady. She also has a a new fiance. They met at the clinic. They were both praying for the aborted fetuses. That's sad and horrible. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to interrupt you, but do you come here often? Oh, yeah, all the time. It's about intimidating women. You do. All right. Where did this smoke come from we're not we're outdoors?

Whatever lock eyes. Okay, so then we see Abby counseling women like loobing them up for the big abortion Oh my god the first woman is so she's like so it cannot feel pain or Carst my name and secret revenge from Baba Yaga or cast my name and secret range from Baba Yaga. No, man. Oh my God. So she says this part of her thing. You're she turns to the girls thinking about an abortion. She says it's really like a pull up at this point. And the couple behind me was God damn scandalized. If they didn't know she got what was coming to her, they would have walked out right then in there. Yeah, and she explains it at one point. She's like, okay, I know this is confusing abortion. It's actually not like car or an ice cream cone

And the patient is like oh, right, right got it. What? Oh, right. Hey, right. Got it. What? I asked you if it feels anything. And she's like, I don't know, ask it. Hey, fetus, nothing. That's what I thought.

Boom, we're doing the abortion. It's so ridiculous. Hey, fetus, if you feel anything, fight as hard as you can against the suction hose in a couple of years. Sorry, we like to get around here. We like to have fun. Yeah. So she talked to people in a murdering your babies for a living

and it was right about then that her and her husband became super Christian. I wonder what will happen. Okay. So then we cut to the, this is great. The abortion nurses all making fun of the Christian protesters like they do basically we cut in on the fucking shit going okay so I masturbate and would accrues to fix to a snuff film the other night and who should knock on my door it was called unplanned it's pretty sick fuck and this is where boss lady walks in and she's like unlike your shoes and boss lady's just like, yes, you do.

I'm evil. Yes, just crushing bones underneath her feet. She walks in there and she goes, Abby, I think you're ready to level up. Who's meeting me in the POC room. And what does POC stand for? I honestly figured it was where they kept the one black lady in this film. There was separate entrance.

No, it stands for pieces of children. Well, it stands for products of conception, but yes, yeah, they throw that little joke in there. All right. So if we haven't earned our rating yet, we're about to. You see, when you do an abortion, I don't know if this is true at all, and I given the source, I mean, sorry, it's not, but it kind of makes sense intuitively. When they do it in an abortion, they have to reassemble each baby. You have to start with the edge pieces. You have to have the box top. You have to reassemble each baby so that you can tell that no parts were left behind in the uterus. That's the, and that's what they do in the POC. If somebody's job is to assemble the baby. Oh, because do you think there's a bitchiness that goes on at clinics like someone sees the

doctor cutting it into too many pieces and they're like, come on, man, my fucking afternoon. I had to answer tickets. It's going to take forever. This is the new official puzzle in a thunderstorm by the way. Jigsaw puzzle of fetus that apparently they do on the POC room. Oh, by the way, I cannot find any reputable sources. The only people repeating this claim are anti-choice websites and most of them are citing Abbey Johnson.

Well, right. Okay, so here's the thing though, even if it were true, the argument from that's gross. It's not a good argument, right? Like the fucking, the anti-meat people do this all this fucking time. They show you the sliders. Look, if, if being gross meant it was immoral, we'd have to ban autopsies and murder investigations and open a hard surgery and menstruation, that is not a good argument. You're just being an asshole. All of those things, what, sorry, what you said, what you said. But, but this is where she uncovers the fetus. And this fetus is, it's heathen, right? It is a 13, eight year

old man just lying there. It's got a little note pinned to his chest. That's this, please don't kill me, mommy. And when they showed it, my theater lost its god that the wailing and gnashing of teeth that took place in my movie theater when this, you know, plastic model of a centabyte came out. out was intense. Wait, there's a little bit missing from the face. I need check back in the room like a, like an amoeba. It'll be like a little piece that looks like an amoeba. And I mean, it's not in the Vibramites here. Hold on.

Um, yeah, no, I love Cruella at this point, right? So Abby comes in and she's just kind of fascinated and shit. And she goes, wow, most people come in here and cry, but you just, man, you just started doing little jack-off motions with their arm buds. Way to go. Way to go. You are the ultimate baby killer. It's this tiny sword.

You could be a great baby assassin one day. Now, pluck this embryo from my hand. Now have a kung fu battle with Larry Fishburn's fetus girl. You are the neo of the portions. The fuck is happening. So, all right. So that night she's in bed with her husband and he thinks he can smell the pregnant on her. Hi, it's what a weird scene to include in the movie. Honey, you sure you're not pregnant? Why? No reason.

Did not swap your birth control out for Skittles. That's what you're asking. I don't even know why. Who said Skittles? Anyone brought that up. Crazy. So paranoid. But yeah, so she gets a pregnancy test from the office

stealing company property and finds out that yes, she is in fact pregnant. And she's, she's in the bathroom at the plan parenthood, taking the test and she walks out of the stall. And the boss lady, evil boss lady sees that she just took a pregnancy test. She's holding it and boss lady's like, oh, hey, you know what, that's perfect. We can kill that during lunch if you want. We do, we do, we do employ discounts actually. But that, that's your break. That will count as your 30.

But we'll do that right. It's like at the end of my quiz, no shift when I was a teenager, you got to make yourself whatever sandwich you wanted. It's like that for end of my quiz, no shift when I was a teenager, you got to make yourself whatever. Send what you wanted. It's like that for abortions to plan. But I never get you one at the end. Except for the black angus. Couldn't have that one.

Well, okay. So I just wanted to get that out there. It's been 188 episodes. And I always thought it was weird. All right. So now this, this was an amazing one. I'm sure this to it. It's a great business. Yeah, exactly. So, this was an amazing one for this too. It's a great business

mom. You know, exactly. So, okay, we have to go by this. This moment really freaks me out. So she calls her mom. She finds out she's pregnant. She calls her mom and her mom's like, are you gonna board it? That question is such a weird insight into the relationship. Like mom seriously thought she was going call her say mom I'm pregnant But you still don't get to be a cram are you bitch got it dunked on You're on speaker phone All right, see you Thanksgiving All right, so now Abby's back at work or her coworkers are just begging her to abort because

they love abortions so much. One of them is like, here you go, abortion pill right out of my peasant spencer, flicks it to it. There you go. You're fine. All right. Okay, so now we have to meet, like there's a dad here to force his daughter to murder her baby, right?

Oh, the abortion that goes wrong. Yes, that's it. So yeah, the daughter goes back to every abortion. We cut from there to the daughter in the recovery room, pouring blood like a fire hydrant. People might as well swim through her blood to her and be like, she seems fine. It's not. It was like Kurt Schilling's bloody sock to like, sorry, we tried to pull the baby out of her ankle. I don't think the doctor is very good at his job. It's apparently not ankle. So we're, we're narrowing it down. You're going to laugh, but we keep the juicer right next to the abortion machine and you're

never going to guess which one we accidentally put your daughter's uterus into. So yeah, it is just so. So she's auditioned for elevator operator at the Overlook Hotel, Abby runs in and she's like, oh my God, abortions are so dangerous. So dangerous and risky and painful. Everyone. Yeah, and I rate my notes at this point. Wow. If we made him a legal imagine how dangerous they would be. But she's trying to help. And of course, asshole dr. Ruzid literally throws Abby out of the way. He punches her across the room. I don't like. Why would you have that?

I wanted him to not like not actually help the girl. He's just beating the shit out of Abby. My bad guy. Elbow dropped. Jumping from turns. Styles on top of her. Feetus jumps out. It starts fighting the doctor. Yeah.

Tags in a fetus. See, crazy billionaire money people. All right. So, so he goes, I'll call or Abbie yells, I'll call it ambulance and Cruella says, I'll cut off your fucking head. If this woman needs to die to protect the clinic, she will die. We never call 911 here at plan parent. There's a granted. This is just a play school doctor that we have, but we're still sticking with it. We will not

call them nuances. What? Well, okay, but here's the argument that they make. And again, this is their movie. She's like, we can't call an ambulance because then the protesters would see the ambulance. They'd get it on film. They'd use that to argue that abortions are unsafe and they would force us to do this procedure with sterilized code hangers and turkey basters. So like, even their bullshit that they make up, they're still the bad guys in. Right. The reason we don't call ambulances is with your friends and the protagonists of this movie would use it to take away women's health care because of terrorism. Yes, right. We're succumbing to terrorism. Yes. Yes. Oh, and by way, they they tossed this line in it as almost an afterthought. Cruella turns towards us.

Don't worry. We'll pump this patient up with memory, a racing drug so that no one will ever be able to cooperate this story. We keep a hypnotist on staff. No, Mr. Dom is getting in here. We got another bleeder. And then we got the flashy thing for men and blood. Yeah, that's too, but chemically. All right. And of course, while this is going on, dad's in the waiting room getting ever more

nervous about his abortion daughter. So cruel is like Abby go out there and lie to him. Oh, it's amazing. She's like, Hey, she's fine. Totally fine. Look how wide my eyes are. Just have a curiosity. Do you have any extra daughters?

By the way, this is when I noticed that there was a mouse in my theater. It was the only other person in the theater with me. Oh, that's crazy. That makes sense. And like, I don't mean like, a bunch of rows down, I saw a mouse run across the floor. I mean, in the next seat was a mouse like using the recliner button and sitting back into the seat, just looking at me. It was really weird. I mean, it was a good look at a mouse over his deck or something.

Yes. How's it going? I mean, that would have worked again. It was a good looking mouse. It was an adorable, adorable mouse, but I could not concentrate for a while. All right. We'll take over for this. Can you take over? I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the movie. The mouse. That's the mouse. All right. But the point that we have to like end on after this terrible abortion that went wrong thing or what everyone was fine. Nothing was wrong in the only negative consequences were

that dad had to wait extra long at the clinic and people had to clean up blood, right? Yeah. The real victims, the dads who have to wait a few more minutes. Yes. But I don't know how dangerous is abortion. Looks like it's time for us to kick it back over to Carl. and kick it back over to Carl. It's kicking it with Carl. Welcome back, boy, Lucinda. That scene was sure scary. Abortion looks really dangerous. Actually, Carl, legal abortions performed in the developed world are among the safest

procedures in medicine. In the US, the risk of maternal death from abortion is 0.7 per 100,000 procedures. That's about 13 times safer than childbirth. I mean, childbirth, sure, but how does it compare to other medical procedures? Well, it's safer than plastic surgery, dental procedures, even running a marathon, Carl. Huh, that does seem safe.

But again, wouldn't Abby Johnson know that? She would, girl, but again, she's a malicious cancer of a human being. Oh, okay. Now, I've got a question for you. Do you know how to light up a football stadium? Oh, how? With a soccer match.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. It's kicking in with Carl. How with a soccer match? It's kicking it with car. Oh. Thank you, Carl. Yeah. Fucking emphasize what Carl was saying. If your argument is medical procedures sometimes have complications and are therefore evil. Wait until I tell you about dentistry. Yeah, you're going to hate driving in a car. Yeah. Yeah.

But again, it was fine. The girl was fine. Turns out the abortion doctor is also a doctor of medicine in those places. Yeah. Well, yeah. And then, okay, we get this long shot of the nurses having to clean up the scene of the crime, you know, scrub away the blood. Yeah. Like with a giant mop on the floor, cleaning pieces off the floor, it was crazy. Like, like they were breaking

down a bar at the end of the night. Yeah. This is talking to each other. Like that was the mood of it. It was like, all right, I wiped the floor. Did you put fucking quatt sanitizer in the baby filter trap that we have also? Because we'll get fruit flies if you don't pour down the sanitizer. I just love the idea that some redneck lady is going to be wolfing down a double bacon state burger and going, you can tell it's evil and I kind of how much blood

and gross mystery is involved. Give me a fucking break. I just wanted that monta because they show the nurse trying to clean it and she can't try to. I wanted her to come back and get comical. Like she's got one of those steam hoovers and blood's just splattering and we're cheesy. Yeah, like try to cut their toenails and dumb and dumber kind of a thing. Yeah, right, right. Oh, and then they throw Abia surprise baby shower

as soon as they get all the blood chunks cleaned up. Interesting pick for venue for baby shower. I'm doing right here. Okay. I mean, there's like a TGI for adays, like a block away. Yeah. No. All right. All right. It also, okay. So this is when the 40 day preyathon started. This is a real thing that the American Coalition for Life did. Now just consider for a second when an asshole thing this is to do. For 40 days and nights, for 24 hours a day, they held candle light vigils at this clinic standing around it. So there was no possibility that at

any point anyone could get in or out of it without being harassed by assholes. Oh, I just want to see a montage of all those idiots burning themselves on candles 24, seven, try to keep that going. Oh, also, they do have to acknowledge the violence here. For a moment, they're like, Cheryl said they were violence but that that only happened a few times very clearly in a way that you could google during this yeah right she's like well it pretends that they're evil just because they occasionally assassinate people and bomb stuff she's such a bitch and seen you can't keep doing that do to do to do to do to do to do you can't keep doing that. Doodly do. Doodly do.

Stop doing it, doodly do. You can't do doodly do out of the movie. Doodly do. Doodly do. Doodly do. Doodly credits. All right, and then doodly credits. Nope, yes, you're right.

All right, and then also Abby has her baby. Yeah. And mom was really hoping she was gonna quit planned Planned Parenthood once we saw how nice babies were when you didn't murder them. We also get one fun little moment here, actually. She's given birth, we're at the hospital and the husband's like, okay, so as I understand it, you're two centimeters dilated now. And she's like, fuck your centimeters.

Really? metric, you fucking nerd. No, get your centimeters. Really metric. You fucking nerd. No, get the fuck out of here. I actually enjoyed that part, like just her yelling at him. That was fun. Yeah, but mom is worried that she's not going to quit her baby killing job. She's excited because she could be the head baby assassin now. And then we have to get the long scene of like mom and dad worrying about her.

Yep. This is the scene where mom keeps taking away food right as dad's about to eat it. Oh, my theater loved this. Here. They were they were they ran up to the booth. They put the guy in a headlock made him rewind it two or three times. Oh, chuckle city. And I love. Okay. So like mom, what mom is basically saying is here, I sure wish women weren't

so empowered these days. It was better when we had men to do the thinkin' for us. The literal ending bitter line of mom in this scene is she's got aspirations. Yeah, that's the actual ending line. To be a baby killing magnet. He's going straight to the top. What? Don't understand.

But yeah, mom was basically just trying to be like, well, you didn't kill your baby so you must quit your baby killing job. Now I use similar words in those two things. Yeah, and therefore. I'm right. they're the same. All right, so but okay, now she's with her husband. She's praying about her big promotion

and it's this weird bullshit thing that Christians do where they're like, well, prayer doesn't matter because God can do whatever he wants. So I'm gonna pray that God will do whatever he was gonna do and then that will be obviously the will of God. So I'll go along with it. It made no sense. Even the husband knew he's like, that's dumb. I'm a Christian and I know

that's dumb. The husband points it out. He's like, honey, did you just say that things will happen? And she's like, I did. I did. I did. I hear it. I'm sorry. Doodle it, doodle it. Stop it. Stop it. We're both still on the bed. Doodle it do cancel it. I did it the other way. All right, but doodle it do. Sorry. Which way was it?

She does get the big promotion though. So now she's in charge of the whole clinic and she's going to run a kinder gentler abortion mill. Yeah. No more being mean to the protesters, which I think when we think about abortion clinics and protesters, we think about abortion clinics and protesters, we think about how badly the clinic treats the protest. Yeah.

Yeah. That's step one on our list of one steps. Yeah. From now on, we're being super nice to the protesters and one of the other work is there. It's like, oh, you mean like the one who's literally filming a patient right now as she gets out of her car? Oh, my f**king. Oh, God. like, oh, you mean like the one who's literally filming a patient right now as she gets out of her car? Oh my fucking God.

Didn't we write this movie? You keep making me sound crazy. I don't understand what to do. Yeah. So just to go outside and deal with that, it's gross. So here's in case you're just just learning how evil these fuckers really are. One of their favorite tactics is to go outside these clinics and film women going in and out of them so they can put that footage online and hopefully shame

those women and occasionally get them beaten or killed by their lovers, husbands, rapists, fathers, whatever. All right. And the exact is that illegal? Please tell me it's illegal. No, it's not illegal to film someone in public. So no, they're in the property of a medical provider. How is that? In the parking lot. They're not. Yeah, right. The Christians aren't.

And that's the thing. And they're excused for it, though. They say, no, no, no, that's not what we're doing. What we're doing is we're filming the protest to make sure that if you accuse us later of doing anything illegal, we'll have video evidence that we didn't, which is nonsense because they just turned the camera a different way when they were doing illegal shit, right? So it couldn't even be the thing they're saying it is, but that's their bullshit excuse and that's how they presented in the movie.

And she even says in the fucking thing, she's like, okay, well, if you're doing that, can you just film the protesters instead of the door to the clinic? The tripod doesn't rotate. It's fixed. No. Yeah. But now, guys, let's be fair, because this videotaping outside of abortion clinics, yes, it does have its downside. But on the upside, you do get to see videos on YouTube of people throwing full-size slushies

at abortion protesters. And that, that's worth it. Yeah, there's a compilation online. Yeah, from first person perspective, it's nice. Yeah. Is that legal? That should, in turn, be legal if the filming thing is legal. That should just be like a law that goes together. It should be. It should be. and you absolutely should not do it. I realize don't do we realize not really don't do that, but I want to watch that now. We will not share that and give you free tickets to live shows. We will not right now. We will. We won't. We will not not. There's no winking or you're in it. If you have a bit. No, don't, don't move that either. Um, and so there's all kinds of things.

Here's a list of things not to throw at abortion protesters. No. Oh, and then we give the scene where the abortion protestor, she comes out to complain that they are filming and the abortion protestor totally nail her in the argument because he wrote both sides of it. But he doesn't even know. No, he doesn't even. This is the best they could do when they write the other side.

Yes. Uh-huh. They lost to themselves in an argument that they wrote both sides of in a script that actually happened. They're trying to do the argument that like, you know, slavery and the Holocaust were terrible things were, you know, a group of people were marginalized and, you know, the unborn. It's the same. That's where they end though.

That's the argument is like abortion is the same as slavery and Nahala cost. What? Yeah. I thought I'm a good guy in this movie. You didn't you write this for me? I wanted so badly for amity be like, hey, real quick, that, uh, that Holocaust civil rights thing and slavery, which side were you guys on? Yeah.

Right. Well, okay, but here's the thing that there's nothing that just really betrays what this movie is for. This movie is not to reach out to anybody or convince anybody. This is just like, it's assumed that you agree that abortion is like the Holocaust when you walk into this movie. It's to scare children and to reaffirm the thinking of the people to vote and devote for more, you know, politicians that'll chip

away at abortion rights. Exactly. Wow. I'm honestly though. I'm actually impressed. They made it almost an hour before going full Godwin. That's true. Yeah. Way better than I thought they would do. No, if we'd had a betting pool, we would all lost. We would all under bed. They lied at second zero, but they didn't do the Hitler thing until about an hour in that. That's exactly a win. Yeah. So okay.

So then the narration starts telling us that part of her job was selling abortions. And we get my best worst. I wanted a montage, right? Of her just slipping rufis into random drinks at the bar, you know, she's going door to door with her baby vac or something, but no, it's just her sitting in a room going, well, if you think about it, it's a very sensible thing to do. If you, uh, you think about it, you can't afford not to buy this baby.

The bundle and get a free pack. It's actually a better deal. I don't want to tell you how to spend your money. I'm just saying there you go. She's doing the whole like over the top sale. Yeah, let me go talk to my boss and see if we can get that coding, take it off for you. All right, she walks back out here.

Hold this dead fetus. Just get a feel for it. It's in the end. Jesus Christ. Yeah, but the key here though is that those non-profits sure are about the bottom line And then we have to meet evil abortion gather and we can tell that she's bad because she's black Yep the only person in this movie who doesn't regret her abortion just happens to be a woman of color

Huh Yeah, interesting It's funny. There was a dog in my theater at this point. just started going crazy, something hurt its ears. I don't know what was going on. So, yeah. So, Ronda, the African American woman that's here for her 23rd abortion, she's got a picture on the wall, like, you know, the person who finished the Grande burger. And her mom is outside the gate screaming Ronda as though she thought the Academy was going to hear her. Yeah, maybe don't invite mom every time.

Yeah. She's like, don't mind my mom. She screams like that every time I get a divorce. Oh, I wanted to do it at all medical procedures against like she's at her dental cleaning. Ronda. Ronda. I wanted to do it at all medical procedures against like she's at her dental cleaning. Roder! Roder! Time my mom just hailed with care. God, that black thing, that black is a living thing. It's a living bacteria.

Was that round as mom in the Mystic River clip? Yup. Yup. That is her daughter in there. It is. Her granddaughter. It is. Her granddaughter. All right, but yes, but okay, but that night, because I guess the Rhonda thing really got to her.

So that night she looks up her own abortion records technically is what she says happened. Yeah. And here's what actually so this is her cover story. We're going to get to why she actually got fired later in the movie. But her cover story is that she went to her own patient records to like gently run her thumb along her ultrasound. What she actually did is stole doctor and patient information so she could feed them decretions who could then blackmail people into not getting abortions or working with abortion

clinics anymore. But this is her movie. So allegedly. So this is our story. Yeah. And it's supposed to be her like big, you know, turning point or the beginning of her turning point. She's like, Oh, man, she looks the ultrasound and she's sad and she's kind of changing her mind about things. But it's so like, she might as well watch her like that sucking out video with like the iMacs theater inside this pen. I have. Well, I wanted to see like the abortion baby baby box, right?

Like she pulls out like one of those little plaster, hand print things, but there's no imprint on it. You know, just blank forms and shit. Jug full of red liquid. It's just a puzzle piece. What's this? That's weird. All right. Well, I guess this is as close to dramatic turn as this movie is ever going to fucking get. So we're going to pause here. But first, let me give it act three of the hard sell. Will Abby see the

error of her ways? Will she be visited by the ghosts of abortion past, present, and future? How much better a movie would that have been? Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the citation needed conclusion of unplanned. And I need to tell you something about what I've been through. You see, cool. Oh, yeah, no, just me first though. I'm a 14 year old who was raped by her dad. I think two sleepovers and traveled four hours across the state to have this medical procedure done, but I got to get in the building really quick because your friends are filming me right now, right there. And if that video gets back to my dad, he might literally kill me. So that's my thing. Oh, um, wow. Yeah, yeah, sorry, but what was your thing? You said

you had something? Oh, okay. Well, my, my, is it that you're a fat liar who realized she could trade up? I mean, yeah, you're a fat liar who realized you could trade up. And we're back for more of this shit. And we're going to rejoin Abby for years after the last time we saw our inching ever closer to that fatal day from scene one. And this is the story of how efficiently they killed babies in the lead up to Hurricane Ike. What is this section of the movie?

I think they're saying that God attacked the Southern United States with a hurricane because of abortion. I think that's what they're saying. Or they were in the writers meeting with this movie and Abbey Johnson had just finished off the box of munchkin she brought for herself. And she was like, oh, and also you have to include that time that I totally nailed it on my abortion thon. And they were like, it kind of goes against the message of our movie. And he's like, no, I nailed it.

I got like 84 done in a single day. I still have a box of full size donuts just come back. She started with the munchkin. So yeah, no, but that's the, I guess if anything, we're supposed to be showing here that she was really good at killing babies, because the hurricane was going to come in on Saturday that which meant that they were going to have to kill double the babies on Friday. Yep. She was like, all right, well, you know, I guess we got to cancel them all.

Hold on. What if I do a literal killing marathon tomorrow and the director of plan, parent and her boss at this point is like, do it. That's fucking great. Perfect. I wanted so badly for them to cut to a Lucian Ethel conveyor belt of a portion. Stuff and a few pieces down their dresses. It's ridiculous.

Yeah. She's like, all right, well, I'm going to bring in a bunch of extra doctors and Pink Floyd money starts playing. And the Frank don't want to do it. One on the right hand, one with the left. Yeah. He's killing 10 babies at once. Blindfolded like Bobby Fisher.

Ridiculous. Like, like, listen, Gimli, the two doctors are arguing over who got how many young people 10 babies at once blindfolded like Bobby Fisher. Fuck him ridiculous. Like, like, listen, Gimli, the two doctors are arguing over who got how many. Yeah. All right. But then yeah, we get a rescheduling abortions montage. Got it. It meant if I did have a list of shit I never expected to see in my life, that would have been in the top 10. Yeah, push it to the limit.

Yep. would have been in the top 10. Yeah, push it to the limit. Yeah. I had the tiger starts playing and cut over to Rocky and the freezer and the back punch and little fetuses on meat. Speed bag. Yeah, but I want to point out the hurricane, the front end of the hurricane starts hitting at this point. So the guy in the POC room was doing a puzzle in a thunderstorm. Yeah, see there we go. prophetic. All right. So Abby gets home from the big day of baby killing. Her daughter runs up to him and is like, mom, your shoes are covered in blood. Spattered in the blood of the innocent. You okay? Also, uh, looks like a fetus stuck to the toilet paper on your shoe.

Is that a fetus? No. That a little help note in its hands. No. Cumble it up for us. It eats it. The tooth fairy, honey. Well, yeah.

So she lies to the daughter and then the husband comes up and says, see, you have to lie to your daughter on account of how evil you are. And I'm like, but, but EMTs and cops also have to lie when the, when their kids notice the blood on their uniforms from time to time. Right? Like that. Again, not a good argument. Plesh got over to an EMT. So he gets this light bulb stuck up his ass.

911 tells him, sir, do not try to remove that. But of course, he has to sit down and wait for me. I'm pulling shots out. He's hammering the two guys in gift masks. They're starting to choke on their own come. Honey, sit down. Daddy's trying to get you ready for second grade. I'm a bugger. There's an asshole stuck to the toilet paper on your shit. All right, so now we got to the big day when she, they made a movie about her life y'all and they included this. We got to the big day when she got her employee of the month award from Planned Parenthood. The award.

She's the only clinic that's hitting its death quota. It's hitting their own portion target that they have at Planned Parenthood. If quotas, they don't imply it. They say it. They just say it. And then, and then they unveil the giant abortion placks they want to build. With this new abortion factory, we will be able to perform abortions on babies. There are five years old. Up to 106 week abortion. Pulls off a blanket. There's a model. This is going to be a 78,000 square foot

fetus killing thunder dome. What is this? An abortion center for ants. Yep. And then she's like, well, to make this possible, though, we will need you all except for Abby who's doing amazing. The rest of you will need to literally double your murdering. That needs to happen.

You have to kill twice as many babies to make the abortion black spots. We are slashing prices. We've got crazy. What? Oh God. I just want to be a fool. Is for womb closer. I just want to be a fly on the wall in that brainstorming session. Okay, guys, we've been doing this all night.

Corporate wants double the abortions and they need ideas. We got to have something good by tomorrow's meeting. Let's do this. Yeah, I still think we're skipping over Tally's idea of soaking random tampons and sperm real quickly. We didn't really give them. But again, anything that might lead to, you know, an immaculate conception story, that's more trouble than it's worth. Again, I like where your head's at, but that's not going to fly. That's more trouble than it's worth right again. I like where your head's at, but that's not gonna fly Oh, what about a punch card you get five abortions and then the sixth one is free. Yeah, that's great

We already have those yeah loyalty program. Okay If a tailwomen there haven't twins we could charge double oh Hmm Okay, let's put that on the maybe list. Oh, it's not bad. I got one. Okay, hear me out. Okay, it always scares me when you start with hear me out. Are you going to start in crazy? One word. Gamification. What? We flip the patient over. We set up one of those claw machines, like at the arcade. And then we charge kids to perform the abortions. We double dip and we don't have to pay doctors that way. That's a terrible

idea. You're a terrible idea. He has to put a dollar in the jar. Okay, that's fair. Dollar in the jar. But look, I'm tired. I say we go with the, the twin ploy and John's idea about bundling and artificial insemination slash abortion combo pack. Are we all agreed? Agreed. Fine. Okay. No. Go out there and poke holes and condoms people. And okay. All right. So at this point though, Abby's heard enough. She's like, double our abortions. I'll be damned. I thought I thought our mission was to prevent abortion and everybody's snickers at her

naivety, you know? Yeah. By the way, the real story behind this, because we are getting to her quitting and seeing a baby, the real story behind this, which posted in the link in the show notes, they wanted to start giving out the medically induced abortion in the pills as opposed to the surgical procedure, like every weekend. And according to a bunch of her co-workers, she was like, I don't want to work every weekend. So this is what this battle is turned into. And Abby Johnson's mind. We need to triple our abortions as different

than we can now help people more than one day a month. Yes, right. Right. Yeah. I don't want to do a swing shift. You told me exactly. I don't want to do a swing shift is the real Abbey Johnson story. You guys have to do my side work if we do this. She's cutting fetus lemons. Those can be used as birth control. The lemon rind. I heard somebody that cast an ovate at that. All right. So, but after the meeting, Cruella reads her the riot act. This is where she literally says that abortions are the quote, fries and soda of plant parenthood. It's yeah. This movie argues with itself so badly here. She's like, we are in the business of abortions.

And again, I don't know why they even bother to put this in the movie. Abby's like, we're a nonprofit. We're by definition not in the business of anything. Psh, nonprofit,, schmahn profit. Yeah, she says, no, she says non-profit is just a tax status. I'm like, no, no, no, when you're a non-religious group, there's all kind of, she got a disclos expenditures.

And I see why you would think that that's just a tax status. Yeah, exact words. Non-profit is a tax status, not a business model. Um, nope, it's actually both. It is. It is. It is. Actually, those are not mutually exclusive. But here's the argument is so fucking stupid to begin with, right? Again, even if you accept the nonsensical premise that plan for your parent who is out there to sling as many abortions as possible, possible because they make more profit off that. The procedure that forces you to have arm security increases your insurance rates, leaves you constantly updating or spending to be in compliance with the latest bullshit law from the Texas state legislature

makes you a non viable recipient for a huge swath of philanthropic contributions and leaves you a constant risk of losing all of your federal funding. Oh, yeah, and your life. That's the profitable one. So you gotta upsell those toppings, lady. What the fuck is happening? And Kuhla even says that this was she's like, look, I didn't say anything when you got pregnant and decided not to kill your baby. As though plan paranoid is seeking the eradication of the human race. Look, we work here at Burger King and you come in with McDonald's for lunch every single day.

That's what it's like when you have a baby here in plan. Jesus fucking Christ. All right. So then we cut to Abby complaining to her husband about that last scene, about third trimester abortions specifically that she's doing in Texas. No, you're not. Yes. Fuck you. Also, the description of like everything about this is wrong and insane. Like a casual Google about what third trimester abortions are and how often they're performed and the reasons they're performed show you how monstrous this scene is, but

she's like, so first we read it good night, Moon. We snap its neck from behind like Steven Seagal, you remember under siege? That's it. Then we cut off its leg and just toss it around the room for a little while. I don't know why. It's, it's basically a 35 year old person at that point. Yeah. Yeah. So it takes a while. We murder it on day one. And then we murder it again. To be thorough on day two and three. We also, we have a tiny little guillotine on day three

if we need it. We let it resuscitate that we, we chop it each time it's like a julienne actually because we have a puzzle is kind of boring and easy at that point. But whatever you see that episode of Lydamy where the serial killer keeps the waterboard in them and then bringing them back to life and waterboard it. That's the third trimester abortion just in case you know, it's kind of like that. Tamer off. All right. So the next day or something, uh, hobby shows up at the clinic to take her on a date and they go for Mexican food like he's trying to fuck heath.

I'm glad it worked. Yes. Well, my notes are right. Is a beautiful man. Oh, good. I was hoping we'd get to see them eat. Yeah. At this point, this movie was so insane. I was hoping we'd get to see them eat. Yeah, at this point, this movie was so insane. I was like, they're going to find fetus in their

Mexican. Right? Like this. One second. I reported this baby this morning. Don't. All right. And oh, okay. So we cut to them at the Mexican restaurant deciding what they're going to eat. And for phase two of his big date night plan, he thought maybe they would go home and watch DVDs that they own. Yeah. Like the goonies. Yeah. It's a good choice. I mean, you know, but she didn't like the goonies. And I was like, it's fuck you. I'm furious at this point. Almost as bad as I was the rest of the movie. Like weirdly angry about that part. Goonies is delightful. Things he doesn't like about happy Johnson in order. She doesn't like the goonies and she's a big liar. All right. But so, but just then on the TV, they hear about Dr. Tiller getting killed.

Now, for those of you who might not recall, he was one of the few doctors in this country that was brave enough to perform those really controversial third trimester abortions that really freak out the anti-abortion protesters. One of the few people in the country willing to do that, he was demonized by groups like the American Coalition for Life and Bill O'Reilly and they called him tiller tiller baby killer and shit until eventually a mentally unstable Christian shot him in the back of the fucking head. A Christian shot, you're being redundant.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. A Christian shot him in the back of the fucking head. And the movie felt the need to say we disagree tactically with that person.

That should be a red flag for you. And we're like, you're going to need to spend a few minutes making it clear to everyone that we don't endorse, endorse this assassination. You're involved in a bad thing. Yeah. Or maybe just don't include a, um, moment in your propaganda film at all. So weird. It's like, like, the movie was like trying to like do an exercise here, like, to like see how good they like it's an interesting hole you just dug yourself there movie what are you gonna do and theying room. Guy, do we have to mention how often Side murders people There is no such thing as cutting. Got it. All right. Clearly. All right. So they drive away

They're they're rushing to get their daughter just in case she's next on the anti-abortion hit list And she their character goes like Husband I knew dr. Tiller, dammit. I'm like, that's a weird time for a name drop. I don't think that's appropriate. Husbands just got a chalkboard. Tiller, 60,000 babies, one. Sorry, Ellen, I'm just keeping this thing.

Don't worry about it. Score. Yeah. And we also get this line. I think it was the dad who says, what kind of person shoots someone in the head in church? Because that's where Taylor got the venue of the shooting the doctor in the face by a terrorist where he did it is what you focused on now. Yeah.

Yeah, okay, but yeah. So the next day at work too, we have all the nurses talking. They're like, yeah, these Christian protesters are pretending to be sympathetic, but I don't buy it. I'm like, no, you shouldn't. You shouldn't. You should not. You should not.

You should not. You should not. You should not. You should not. You should not. You should not. You should not. You should not. You should they kept publishing his home address on their website. That's how you know they were in sympathetic. Pro-life asterisk.

Yeah. Okay, but then Abby gets a call from HR. The HR needs to see her immediately in Houston. Right. So she goes to the baby killing headquarters and she gets in trouble for not wanting to kill enough babies. Right. She gets a formal Reprimand and this is like supposed to be big and dramatic. Like the movie saw this as an evil thing that companies do. They're like Reprimand. I have no idea. I need you to sign your copy. You have to sign your cop. Okay, thank you.

How amazing would it be if they made her watch a training video and just will I am? Hi, welcome to Killin' Babies on schedule. You know, it sure can be hard to tell what is right and wrong when it comes to Killin' Babies. Isn't that right? So Ariana Grande. So yeah, so she's getting all pissed off. She's like, I can't believe you're reprimanding me. I was employee of the month, damn it.

It says so on my parking space. And the narrator goes, now, I know it's hard to believe that I quit just because of this. And for once, me and the narrator agree entirely. Yeah. I know why that's hard to believe that at all because you're lying. That's why I don't believe it. That's why it's hard to believe. Right. So now, okay, we're almost caught up with the beginning of the movie. And this is amazing because the couple behind me was realizing this out loud together as we got closer. But while she's inside contemplating her future, abortion protester guy is standing

outside the guy who hauls away the baby slurry and also radioactive waste in the same type of barrel. Yes. In the big radioactive waste barrels. He comes out and the protesters are like, hey, can we pray over that fetus juice? And he's like, yeah, man, I got to. I'm just a fucking driver. It just drives the baby. 20 bucks. I wanted him so badly to wheel out of barrel and be like, this one's urine.

Do you want to do that one? These are coming over in there. There's a good chance there's some over in there. Come, you don't know. Yeah, but what he actually says, which made me very happy. The driver's like, yeah, okay, man. But real quick, you want to double up and do like the other because I got more bear. I got at least one more barrel. You want to do one at a time because I feel like that'll be slower. I can just bring him on. You want me to run past you with a row of them and you can be like, perfect, perfect. I don't know. All slower. I could just bring him on. You want me to run past you with a row of them and you could be like, I don't know. All right. So Eli was this because this was the main moment where I laughed out loud and shouldn't have. Would he ask to pray over the the fetus juice? Nope. Nope. Mine comes

a little bit later in the movie. Okay. All right. That was that was the most embarrassing moment of laughter for me. But yeah, this is what we catch up to the beginning of the movie. And so apparently as she was watching that baby on the ultrasound fight for its life, translucent tofer gray subortion guy was outside praying over the fetus juice at exactly that moment. So that must have been what triggered it, you see. Yeah. And then we cut to her seeing that little pee pod fetus tapping out Morse code with the back of its head and she realizes the error of her ways. Help me, Obi-Wan, come on, you're my only home.

All right, my own. I was a Johnny got his gun reference. Yours was a Star Wars. I feel like I win. Okay. You were the English major, but whatever. I wish the driver came back out after that with like a bunch of framed jigsaw puzzle and some babies. Like you want to pray on these too?

And we've definitely got all these are actually, oh, shit. This is a missing one. Can you come back in and help me? I'm not allowed to take it if it's not done. It's supposed to be done at five. This is, you guys know where it's supposed to be. You have to help me. All right.

So now we cut to abortion protest headquarters where Abby's there in a sea of, she's like coming to the abortion protestors for witness protection against the crime family that is planned parenthood. Right. And again, just for clarity, this is this movie's version of the story. The real version of the story allegedly is she got yelled at, grabbed a bunch of records of patients and doctors who worked at her clinic and was like, hey, I'd like to switch sides. Please docks and threaten and blackmail these people.

Right. And by the way, well, while that has never been fully adjudicated or whatever, someone that worked at that clinic definitely took the names of at least a couple of the doctors that worked there and provided them to this group, right? But that could have been anybody. Somebody did it. Switch sides. Yeah, exactly. All right. So, but they're going to help her any way they can as long as she promises not to abort again. Yeah. And she tells them the story of those sucking out videos she saw here. And she's like, yeah, no, like kicks and screams does that dive rolls like an angel. Like seriously, it's all the things thing.

It actually made a gesture, like please stop at one point, like, and please don't put this on a big screen TV and 4K high death. I agree. This is like, lock eyes with me. Lock eyes with a circle of trust, plan parenthood outside the circle. It was, it was pretty sure matters. It's also just another lovely little detail about this. So part of the thing that American coalition for life

did is they'd be like, Hey, if you work for an abortion clinic, we'll help you. We'll find you another job. But because Abby Johnson was literally the first person ever to be this evil, when she showed up for this meeting, even she admits they didn't have a job for her. And she was like, oh, you guys always said and they'll be like, no, no, we'll figure it out. Have you considered writing an evil book full of lies? And she was like, all right, evil book full of lies. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. So yeah, but, and there's this great moment where she's like, yeah, I guess I'll have to find another job And the protestor dude is like I think you're underestimating plan parenthood. They will fucking end you Little fetuses are gonna come break her kneecaps Blood in blood out you know it. Yeah, they have to send her out through the fucking back exit. No, no, the plan parent hood folks will see you.

I'm sure they've got eyes everywhere. All right. So she heads home where she finds her hubby at her daughter, chilling with a puzzle and hubby can just tell that she doesn't want to kill babies anymore. Again, this guy is either psychic or has been spying on her actively through the movies like so you went over to that abortion headquarters and quit your job and secretly fed them a bunch of information. She's like, how did you know? And he's like, just a gut feeling.

Yeah. Also microchip in your car. Yeah. No, right. Like, I feel like her husband, whilst she was writing the book says, like, kept saying, like, well, make sure in the book, it shows how psychic I am though, because I am. I am pretty psychic. Yeah, I'm pretty sure the mouse in my theater groaned at the screen. How evil this movie is. So pro choice mouse I had in my theater.

Yeah, right. Right. A little smart Algonon. All right, so then we cut back to the clinic We it's it's hilarious because when we cut in there We see a girl about to take her abortion pills and I was literally bracing myself for Abby to side tackle her Dives in front of and she swallows Start shitting chunks again, immediately.

Whoa. So yeah, so she's packing a bra off. Should have gone hand. Whoa. Why did I go mouth? So yeah, so now Abby's packing up her office. Her friends sure are worried about her. She's here.

As a matter of fact, her friend comes and she's putting all of her belongings in a box and her friend goes, is something wrong? Are you leaving? No, I just swap out all my personal belongings from time to time. You're so good at selling me portions. Uh, about your parking spot. Yeah. So yeah, so she resigns.

She leaves the clinic for the very last time, good abortion protester of the North is very proud of her for quitting. Mm-hmm. And then, okay, again, like telling us more than they meant to, she calls her mom to tell her the good news. And mom is so proud of her. And I'm like, huh, boy, you were in a position where your family and your husband and your child and your pastor and all of your friends would have liked you more and been proud of you if you did this. Mm hmm. I can only think of honest reasons why you changed your mind. Yeah, there you go.

Yeah, so she calls and tells her mom the good news. And then we have to have the scene where she's crying late that night as she fully comprehends all the babies she's murdered over the years. Oh, in this movie, this movie shoots itself in the deck so hard she's like, honey, I just realized I killed like 84 bajillion babies. Do you think that our moral belief system is based on me thinking real hard and making that okay in a way that would only be justifiable if we didn't actually mean our whole conceit. And he's like, oh, yeah, don't worry, you're good.

Just, you know, super best friend promise. No one does. Okay. I just want to repeat the number again. I was like 84 bajillion abortions that I was part of. You think that's like God wise, a bad thing. Like how many Hail Mary's do you think that is? Just one, just the one. Just, just do a few, whatever. I love. She says God loves you. The actual line is 21,000 abortions That's the weight of my guilt and I'm like yeah, but most of them were like unounce Right, like they were light. So God's number is 2001 that's where God was like

All right, so now she goes to the abortion protestor headquarters again the next day. This time she brought donuts also confidential patient records. We're not going to talk about that in this movie at all. No worry about it miss. But this is where we learned that when you intimidate women out of getting medical care, you intimidate women out of getting medical care. Yes. Oh God, Jesus.

This part maybe pissed me off more than any other moment in the movie. She says like they're like, yeah, you know, we started to think we were just wasting our time out there. She just turns directly to camera and says, no, you are not. It has a very big effect. And then she sites her statistic. I don't know if this is true, but it probably something similar to it is. She says, well, we, we have seen that there's a 75% decrease in women coming in for abortions

when there's protesters outside that will yell and scream and throw blood at them. So yes, you're making a positive difference in the world. You are literally standing between women and healthcare. God. God. God work. Great. People have a good work. Great moment that happened in my theater at this point. Youth leader who I yelled no bet tried to start a standing ovation, but all the teenagers who at this point hated her with the fire of a thousand sons refused to join her.

So this little 21 year old was like, yeah, oh, just me. All right, sitting back down. Sorry, everybody. One thing happened in my theater too. This is when super intelligent pro choice mouse stood up and was like, fuck you and walked out of the theater. Yeah. Hold the Anna. All right. So, but now Abbey harasses women at the clinic fence. And she's turned to the other side of the cage where they keep the women seeking abortions. Oh, and again, this movie is trying so hard to put a positive spin on harassing a teenager who's there to get an abortion. Just like, hi, excuse me, I asked nicely, you don't have to say that part. We're not working. Yeah. And

this is when she explains about what they do in nothing but lies. This is where he describes to that girl at the fence. Like, well, first they do an ultrasound, but you're not allowed to ever see it. Or you'll give it a name. I think you're giving a name. Is that like serious? Like they turn the screen away and sit up like what the fuck? No. In fact, the opposite is true, which is that several states of fast laws where you have to see it. Yeah. They make you look at the ultra sound. Yeah. And right. And they make you give it a name and and and sing it happy birthday. Yeah. And okay. But again, so what happens in this movie and their movie, the heroic turn after the hero character has gone through her ordeal or whatever become

a good guy, what she does is she goes and makes an innocent young girl cry for evil reasons. Yep, that's her. Cherry, it's a fire moment. Yep. Did she also do I have this right? Did she also say that they charge more based on skull size? Yeah, there's a lot of hood clinic. This man is just a baby. Seriously, just a doctor weighing a fetus in his hand. Hmm, I think that's 250 bucks. 275 lady.

It's like Jay Leno down there. We're going to have to run to shop back from home depots. It's the father. That's crazy. I'm sure that the skull size is like the limiting factor and what kind of abortion you can get, right? So like if you have, for example, a pea pod sized embryo, then, you know, it's different than if you've got a large one and the skull size would be the thing that would be that determinant.

But yeah, she makes it sound like it's like, yeah, it's like $14 per millimeter of skull. You have ever been to Pike's Market where they throw the fish around? That would be disease. Did you fuck that college mascot right there in the waiting room? Is that the guy? Is that the dad? Yeah. See, this is your fault.

And then, okay, so she talks this girl out of getting an abortion, but then Cruella sees her out there and Cruella comes out and they have it out together. And this is the part of the movie where I left way too loudly and way too inappropriately. Oh, was it during the list of who's in her corner? Yep, she goes, do you know who's in my corner? George Soros, and I laughed way too loud, and everyone in the theater looked at me, and I tried to turn around, but my guy was ready.

He was like, pointin'. He was like, ah, not this time. You're not gettin' and I was like, shit, now I saw. She goes, George Soros, bill gates and Warren Buffett who's in your corner and First of all the character does not say God which I'm fucking shocked is cheesy as a line that is that would be how do they miss it But I'm like how about a tax-free opaque institution Right do you have a dark money child rape cabal? Oh, you do.

Yes, right. Right, you're not the little guy. This is not a David and Goliath story. Last you are Goliath. Cut over to like a plan, parenthood, shareholder meeting, everything gold thrown. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Warren Buffett stands up, starts yelling at everyone. Go obvious for closers. Yeah, but anyway, plan pair of hood is going to fuck her corpse if it's the last thing that they ever do. So all right, the movie's not over yet. We get her and her husband getting ready for Halloween. She's bitching about the last scene again. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, about how she's being persecuted at work. They're being mean. It's yeah, tone of voice persecution and it's real. Yeah. Right. No, her friends won't talk to her anymore. It has nothing to do with the fact that, you know, you're immoralizing bitch who thinks that their baby murderers, they probably blacklisted you at plant parenthood as what it is and got to your friends. Yes. I'm sorry. I don't get to show up for Carol's birthday and have a corner piece of cake just because

now I'm on the opposite side of women's rights. I showed up for wing night. They were there. They saw me. They pretended I wasn't making any noise. They just pretended I was standing right there. I love this. The again, just to see how sloppily made this movie is. She's like, well, I need to call Sean, the good abortion protester man and find out what to do next. And yeah, right. As you call them and she's like, wow, this doesn't work very well as

a phone call. We could just do a two shot. Huh? How about your right next to me? Oh, you are right next to me. That's how the shot the fucking scene plays out. Hello today. We are being sued by plan parenthood for no reason. No reason at all. They're going to preemptively sue us in case we do something wrong. But don't worry, but don't worry. Sean has retained the guy from the back of the phone book. Not one of those guys from the middle of the phone book, the guy on the back of the phone book. That's their lawyer. Jeff Paradowski. He's a bus stop bench lawyer. Yeah. A really good bus stop. Not one of the shitty ones. Right. Right. Like, I mean, I like my friend may have had Mesothelioma and he got a settle.

Yeah. So they go to meet their fucking phone book lawyer and in their movie, okay, in their movie, her lawyer has to turn to her and say, did you ever take confidential patient records or the personal information of the doctors that worked in the clinic and distribute them to anti-abortion groups? And she goes, no. And he's like, weird that I would be asking that, huh? Not the kind of thing that most people have to preemptively knock down in their own memoir. Huh, this is a weird question for us to ask then.

And the way that we set this up here in the movie seems oddly legally protected. Right. Like it's just a conversation we had as opposed to out and out saying that it's not true in case, you know, right? That ever comes back to bite us. She says we're part of a child rape cabal. The warrior goes, so why does everyone at the clinic say that you're lying about everything that you're saying? And she goes, because everyone put me as a liar. And the audience goes, yep, nope, I know how that is when everyone except you is lying. And Jeff Paradowski's like, absolutely. Okay, one more question.

Have you ever done any of the stuff that Abby Johnson did in real life? No. No. No. Yes. No. Yes. Okay. We're going to have to work on that before we get to court. And there's this amazing moment with his catchphrase, paradiske ran into the writer's

room and sobbed and shit himself until they included this. He goes, there's two very powerful words in a court of law. Prove it. Oh, it is the second one. That court of law. Prove it. Oh, it is the second one, the second big power of word. Yeah, did I not like totally blow your mind now? Maybe solid a little bit more. Prove it. Okay.

Yeah, go over it. Definitely helps. I said, meet the ball almost face. Maybe throw the baseball into your glove one more time. You're right. What if I lie down? You hurt yourself on a field of gloves. All right.

So then they go to court. And I love, they're walking into court and Cruella devagges on the court. I was talking to the cameras and Abby walks by and says, it's so unfair that I have to abide by a restraining order. And yet all of Planned Parenthood, the institution doesn't. Yeah. She also says, I'd like to go over there and punch that woman in the face talking about the director lady.

Yeah. And then husband, the Christian good guy husband is like, honey, don't punch that woman in the face. That's my job. I'm an adult male Christian. I punched the women around here. My audience doubled over with laughter at that line. My audience loved it too.

They loved it. Yeah. Wow. Which again is why I'm super dedicated to us getting sued by Abby Johnson, because I would really love to be punched first by Abby Johnson. I feel like, I mean, paradox he was pretty good, but okay, any of them, but look at how many lawyers those filthy abortionists have guys, they won't stand a chance. Jew.

How many cuts of this movie have Jew on the cutting rough? Hundreds. Yeah, so but then Cruella stops her outside the, the courthouse to talk shit about her phone book lawyer. It's the best. This movie couldn't stop from being like, I mean, yeah, Jeff Peradowsky is a hack who, even if you Google him today, has a Google ad for being a personal injury lawyer, but yeah, we won. Well, no, but yeah, we won.

Well, no, but no, they did it. They did not. No, okay. So the narrator cuts it after this. She goes like in a movie, this part would be interesting. But it like me, I mean, it is a movie in the sense that you're watching, but like we, we won. And that's the best part is this is, and credit where credit was due.

This is the cleverest way a movie has ever gotten around saying we didn't win because that's not how the thing that was against us works. Yeah, no, they didn't win. Did the judge just narrowed a restraining order? Right. The judge basically went, so she already stole all the stuff and was a spy. And Pam Parenhood was like, yes, that's why we just wheeled in these boxes and boxes of evidence. And he was like, well, she already did it. What are you going to do? Restraining

order narrowed down to, she can't walk into your building. Whoa, what the basically, what this hearing was about as far as I understand it, I'm certainly not a lawyer and everything, but as far as I understand, this hearing was like just about saying like, okay, but the restraining orders in effect, you cannot give out any of this information you stole. And then the rest of the restraining order that she wasn't allowed to talk about her time working at Planned Parenthood was lifted. Yep. That's my understanding of it.

And I guess. Yeah. Right. It certainly wasn't a judge going like, well, you're innocent of all the charges against you. It was just was the goddamn mull of the bar summary of the muller report is what we got here. Right. And oh, God, this is so it is so awful. The lawyer has to talk shit back to Cruella, but he wasn't there when Cruella talked the shit about him. So he has this convoluted nine layers of, you know, she told me what he said. You said that I said, I said when I said it. But despite all of that, the audience

just loved it. They're like, yeah, you got her, I think, I think. And the way they set that up was absurd too. Like the case ends and everybody leaves. And then Kruela and her legal team just walked back in. They're like, I just, I walked back in because I saw you there. Do you have any trash talk? Do you want to do? Just checking if anyone here wants to pwn me. Yes, right. It'll be here. I'll be here bent over. Go, go. Okay. And then sometime later, she learns that the clinic is closing. Now, the movie would have us believe that these things are somehow related. But no, in August of 2013, an incredibly restrictive law that was later struck down by the Supreme Court was enacted in Texas that forced this clinic to close.

Hooray. You'd enhance her wins. And the narrator tricked us at this point too. The narrator's like, seems like we're done. Nope. Probably the movie was over. It's not stuck it. We're going to keep going.

Well, we have to watch the plan. Paranoid get torn down, right? Oh, I when they knocked it down, I wanted babies to keep going. Well, we have to watch the plan. Paranod get torn down, right? Oh, I when they knocked it down, I wanted babies to come pouring out like a pinata. I was already in villain in a theater at this point. And so when everyone applauded in my theater when the when the sign came down, I yelled really loudly, yay, you're in cancer. That quieted the team group down. Hopefully starts exploding like when the trap gets blown up and ghost busters. fetuses flying out. Jesus, but my favorite part of this though was the bulldozer scene that they

planned on doing. And then we're like, we are 100% out of money. We can bulldozer scene that they planned on doing and then we're like we are 100% out of money. We can't bulldoze shit. We're gonna have the bulldozer wrap the chain and pull down the little sign and that will be. They could do for no. It's a building. They might as well just have like made their own sign and kick it over. Yeah., everybody look, it's a metaphor for fighting against choice. You do symbolic, terrible mean spirit at acts that are expensive and help no one. Am I right? Woo, yeah. All right.

So yeah, but now she's got to give a little speech where that demolished plan, parenthood once stood and she brought one rose for each of the fetuses that she took out hits on. And look, she's very, she's like, it's, look, I am going to meet my babies in heaven. And I just want to say, if she's right and we're wrong, we're not, that's going to be a super awkward meeting. Right? Wow.

Heaven. Hey. Um. Right. Wow, heaven. Hey, oh my God, are you? Yep, yep. Ah, I'm your boarded child. Oh, honey, I am so sorry. No, no hugs please.

Sorry, okay. Definitely no hugs, that obviously. Yeah, yes, clearly too soon. How? How is heaven? Oh, it's it's fine. Um, kind of what I like to have, you know, been alive though. Sure. Hmm. How about you? How was the rest of college? That's that's what you murdered me for, right? The rest of college was that fun? It was okay. Cool. Cool. Glad to hear it was okay and good. Psyched for you.

So we're up here together forever. Forever. Yep. Yeah. Forever. Bitch. Okay, who is that? I'm 2012's Christmas blowjob you whore. Oh I'm sorry. Yeah, you are Couldn't wrap up a book, huh too much effort. Maybe some socks nothing Oh, it would almost be worth being wrong just to know that that was what Abby Johnson had waiting for her. And for my army of jerks, uh, kids, like I could just crowd surf my way across. Wow. So you're just like in tiny little P covered in come form.

That's weird. I figured they would agree you out for having okay. No, that's fine. Okay. I know you guys are all mad, but let me just say a lot of the blame for this goes to a little channel known as cinematics. Yeah, blame them. Thank you, kids. So yeah, so she's fucking written a letter to her dead aborted babies and then that we have the pan out where like we see that there are so many roses for all the dead polyps, I

babies. Yeah, but not 22,000, whatever that was, kind of a dick move to leave out some fetuses from a rose thing. 40, and they picked that. They drafted. It's however, however many roses they could get from that place down the street. I'm sure. And then Dave, stop putting brown roses for each

shit you took. Come on. Serious. But then okay, so the movies over, but they have to throw this disclaimer out in case we were curious. The disclaimer goes like, plan parenthood did not help us at all with those, this movie, those fucking decks, but the decks. We asked if we could use the clinic at night and they were like, no. They're not even there. God. And then they give you the number of somewhere where you can call the work in the abortion industry and want out. And look, I'm not saying that if you're listening to this episode, you should call these people and waste a tremendous amount of their time.

Because I'm not allowed to. That's right, that's one of the many reasons you're not saying that Eli well done all right. Like they were selling the witness protection. Four of our subscribers. Come on. We pretend to be a fetus that's escaped. Inside the clinic. Are there

a terrible. Just saying, Patreon dollars people, I'll get a burner phone. All right. Before we close things off, I'm curious what you guys think. I always try to come up with a new question here. And this is the first time I've watched a movie where I would, where I honestly thought we might all have different answers here.

So what would you guys say? What it personally, what was the most dangerous lie in this movie? Uh, okay. I'm going to go with that abortion hurts. Like, I know it seems like a super minor thing, but the message that this movie hits over and over and over again is that abortion is painful and scary because they're trying to scare women away from doing it. And there's something so horrifying about trying to make healthcare seem terrifying to

the children that they know will be dragged to this movie that like it's the worst of the worst to me. I meant that. Heath, you got an nominee. Yeah, first of all, goonies is amazing. That's a dangerous lie that goonies is not delightful. Um, but yeah, most dangerous lie in this, this movie, uh, the movie, fuck this movie, the whole thing. God damn it. Yeah. I was going to go, I had so many that I like kept erasing and putting back. I'm

going to go with the abortion protesters are perfectly justified in filming women going in and out of the clinic. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. But again, there were seven or eight other things that were swimming around my mind as possible. Contenders for that. Oh. Yeah. We need those like actual fire hose versions of sprinklers to get really serious.

I want milk coming out of those things and fucking Satanists out there scaring the shit out of the bottle. I don't know. Oh, how about xenomorph blood? Yeah. See? We're coming up with good ideas here. Satanists out there scaring the shit out of the I don't know. Zena Morph blood. How about Zena Morph blood? Yeah. We're coming up with good ideas here. And I want to leave everyone with a message of hope.

Because there was this moment when the movie end and the lights came up and they were all getting the church group. Like I said, I was seated amongst these teenagers and there was a girl next to me who was like probably 15, 16 years old and like I didn't turn to her during the movie because I know what I look like. That's gross. And she obviously was very scared and disturbed by the abortion as a blood festival parts of the movie. And so the lights went up and everyone already hated me in the theater anyway.

So I turned to say something to her because I just wanted to be like, hey, Google this. I didn't even know what I was going to say. I was just going to be like, Google, please, don't believe lies. It's okay. And I turn and I open my mouth and she looks at me and she goes, I'm just here for the free movies. Next month we're going to Avengers. Never been more comforted by the guy. So that's how they get the grid of take them to see endgame, but you have to come see a portion of movie this. Oh my God. They take a lot of them. So Christianity. Oh my fucking God.

And then deadpan teenage girls little face gave me hope for the future. I was so sure she was scarred forever and she was just like, I'm in this for fucking Avengers, man. Yeah, no, I get it. I watch this. Hey, at least Avengers exists. So it's not like a normal set of promises. Yeah, no, I get it. I'd watch it. Hey, at least Avengers exists. So I can't be normal set of promises. Yeah, go. All right, well, that's gonna do a further review of one plan,

but it's not gonna do it for the episode just yet, because we still need to trick yourselves into doing this again. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. Flat Earth clues. Oh, finally, finally, we're going after the flat Earth Earth Earth. Yes, indeed. We got clues aplenty. Oh, and by the way, if you wrote in to ask us to do, what's the one that everybody

on Netflix that I'm behind the curve? Yeah, behind the curve. Okay, we're not doing that one because that one is not like a made by flat earthers promoting flat eartherism documentary. It's kind of just made to make fun of them. So we feel like we'd be doubling down on that. We went out and found what is considered by flat Earthers to be one of the better movies, the documentaries that they have like from their end. Oh, this is like the case for Christ of Flat Ear. Yeah, she's exactly. Exactly.

If you love behind the curve, you'll love Flat Earthers because it's behind the curve without all the sense. Yeah, we're the self awareness. Exactly. Exactly. It's along the tangent line. All right. So with that to look forward to, we're going to bring up a one eighty nine one merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon doters that helped make the show go if you'd like to

out yourself among their ranks, you can make a pre episode donation of patreon.com slash got off when they're by your early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help a time by living a five star review on iTunes and by sharing the show and all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our siblings shows the scanning

A.D. Ascitation needed in the skeptic grad available on iTunes Stitcher and wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions, comments or a cinematic suggestions, you can email GodolphinmovesaGmail.com. Linkless services for this podcast are provided by the law offices of P.Ed. Retourns, our theme song is written and performed by a Brian Slotnik, Vivaldrafts on Mars, all other music was written and performed by an already-engineer Martin Clark and was used with permission. Again, I just named my fucking lawyer, Parad Vivaldrafts on Mars. All other music was written and performed by an already-engineer Martin Clark and was used with permission.

Again, I just named my fucking lawyer, Paradowski. Come at me, bro. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week. I might win to Harvard, where'd yours go? Probably not Harvard, though. Anyway, for a heated right meal, I'm positive. I'm no illusions, promise I'm gonna work hard or another chunk next week.

Until then, we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Warren Buffett, George Soros, and Bill Gates went on to share a Nobel prize for inventing a substance that turns every fetus into an ice cube. But it's called ice-nine months. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Jeff Paradowski went on to think of a much better way to phrase that comeback minutes after he left the courthouse. Nobody associated with this movie ever got to work on a real movie.

Ever again. Oh, I hope so. I hope the fucking guy who drove them to the airport is blacklisted. Oh, yeah, none of you will ever work again, and I know you're listening. They literally think that happens. They literally think that happens guys. There's nothing that this, there's no sketches we can do for this. No offense post law. All right.

The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on a thunderstorm LLC copyright 2019 all rights reserved. Alright, Jesus Christ.