God Awful Movies - 192: Gam192 Breakthrough Live from the American Atheist Conference

Episode Date: April 23, 2019

This week, we team up live in Cincinnati, Ohio from the American Atheist Conference for an atheist review of "Breakthrough", the story of god deciding not to kill one of the hundred of thousands of children he drowns every year. It's like watching the Noah story backwards. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

The Doctors give up. They're like, uh, fuck it. He's an immigrant. My lunch break is at one. They might as well unpack lunches onto his corpse. So I says to her, I says, look, if we're gonna watch a killing Eve together, then you need to wait for me. Don't watch. I'll watch watch I'll go back and watch I don't want you to go back and watch the same episode I want to experience Anyways, I want to watch you movie Welcome back to the game cast region week. We sample another selection from Christian cinema so that you don't have to that's right We have watched one hundred and ninety two Christian movies also that the eighth. Oh, thank you Yeah, no if anything deserves a pause

movies also that the atheo thank you yeah know if anything deserves a plus and of course in addition to just liking to make fun of terrible things this also serves a purpose we want the atheist world to know what's in these movies and we want to be able we want you to be able to do that without having to watch Kevin sorboh try to act of course i am no illusions and also joining me today will be my good friend from Stays Lab. Please give a warm round of applause for Heath and Wright. Alright, there is no way that's enough scotch to get you through this movie.

That is a good point. That is a very good point. Okay, alright. Now, of course, normally this would be the part of the show where I introduce my bad friend Eli Bosnick, who you know and love. But instead, today we have a very special guest. Please give a lukewarm welcome to the one, the only Ray Comfort! That's right, A. Thies, it's me! Right, Kampfak! You're ultimate enemy! You are all a very aware of who I am! With your nightmare! The banana! Okay, I have to know what the hell is it with you and bananas?

You see, it's because it's shanked. No, I don't mean that one. That one right there. I was keeping that one warm for cat Cameron. You a good peasant? Out of curiosity, how long is your wife gonna let you keep that mustache? Zero seconds after the show is over. Anna's got a razor right now.

She says, you're gonna shave that off during intermission. She says, we said there's not gonna be an intermission. She says there will be an intermission. If a third of the way through the show, a woman runs up and starts to shave my face He says, we said, it's not gonna be an intermission. She says, there will be an intermission. If a third of the way through the show, a woman runs up and starts to shave my face, just let it happen. Oh.

All right, so without further ado, tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched thoughts, prayers, and doctors, also known as breakthrough. It's the story of God killing a child and then being like, you know what? Control Z. This time, it's undo the right thing. Yeah. Andy Leigh, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love Jesus and you hate all the children that God doesn't save, you will

love this movie. It's Schindler's List except the guy with the sniper rifles, the good guy. Well, and he misses once. He misses once, yeah, when the lady makes it. All right, so he has a Schindler's List joke minimum actually at live shows, apologies. Should have warned you about that too. Okay, so is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at?

Yeah, I'm going to say best worst antagonist, which I think is medicine. Yes it is. Just all I think the bad guy is medicine. Yeah, it's pretty rough. So I was going to go with best worst bitch. And I know that sounds bad, that sounds bad, but like, the script makes it very obvious in this movie, it's based on a true story. And the script makes it very obvious that the woman that it's based on is a horrible, horrible person that everyone hates.

Except, they got this spectacularly charming and empathetic actress to play her. Oh, she's the best. Oh, yeah, she's so kind of it so much. Right. But then the script requires that she's a horrible person. So everyone keeps walking up to this incredibly nice person and saying, stop being a bitch. And then she has to be like, yes, I am kind of a bitch, you know. Do you mind not telling my son as he lies in front of you that he's going to die and there's no hope for him?

Fuuuuh! The moving. I was gonna go with best worst god. Now look, a lot of you out there as you watch this movie or hear about this movie you're probably gonna think to yourself, Eli, you're so handsome and that's true. I am. But you're also going to think, isn't this just a happy story about a family who saw a miraculous recovery? And that's because, unlike you, we looked up how many children under the age of 11 die every single day, minute and hour.

Now, this movie is two hours long, which means that 2,250 children died while we watched this movie and didn't get saved by God. And that's, now that's obviously a very hard number to visualize. So we brought visual aids to represent Christians, we have dumbed-ups. So that would be, that would be, a great job getting these all cut down. Wait, there's more. Hold on. We've got this.

We've got this. There we go. Wait, and we're almost there. We're almost there. We're almost there. Yeah. Kids aren't going to fit. There we go. Is there more? Oh, okay. Yeah. One more. One.

Gotcha. So that would be about this many. So this Waiters more is about one quarter of the amount of dead children that took place while we watch this movie So if at any point you feel sad or bad for the characters or the actors or the message of this movie Have a dumb dumb and just remember this is a dead child right here We're gonna leave these up. We'll leave these right here. We got the dumb dumb's right at the front Good news is that they're now they now represent dead kids, which means that atheists can eat them. Hold on this. Guys, there are like five more bags to dump dumps back here and that's a corner. This is not gonna last another four minutes.

You're good for the rest of the show, right? you're good for the rest of the show right. Oh yeah. Three years ago when we started this show, Heath sat at the first meeting and he was like, this is all a con for dumb dumbs. All right then, I get to keep those behind. Yeah, no, those ones are yours. These ones we can give to the audience.

All right, the good news is there will be snacks. But right now, considering how much bullshit we've got to get our way through we're gonna have to take a quick break but when we come back we'll dive into all the frigid waters of breakthrough from the makers of breakthrough something Something bad happened to my son. Comes the story. Forgive me, doctor, but I believe in a little thing

called the power of prayer. That's way more common and that they don't want you to hear about. And he's dead. Well, fuck it, duck. LAUGHTER This summer, very much broken. So Mexican food?

Yeah, absolute love Mexican food. Nice, sweet. All right, so we're back for the breakdown. Now this movie just came out. So we actually had to go see this one in theaters. I landed on Wednesday night, went immediately to the theater with Heath to go see this thing, which means that we got to mingle with actual Christians in their natural environment.

Kentucky? Yeah. Exactly. Now this movie opens with the cast coming on and thank us for watching. They're like, the actual cast of the movie comes up before the movie starts and goes, wow, we didn't expect anyone to be here. Whoa, thanks.

They're just excited. All they can talk about is how much fun they had. They're like, we know, it's a bad movie, but they had craft services. And there was, we could go to the truck and get anything we wanted. Please, O'Leave. Please. And that included Steph Curry, the executive producer,

and basketball player. Yeah, Steph Curry was the EP on this. Yeah. And it was like, it was like Steph Curry product placement. It was so, like a bartender might as well like, slid Steph Curry to like pull them out of an ice tux. Step Curry. Yeah. So dumb.

All right. So this so this movie opens it tries to open artsy. It's about a kid who drowns and then comes back to life. So we open on a kid in basketball shorts, he's soaking wet, he isn't struggling, I can tell Eli's love in this movie already. That laugh was divided exactly among people who know our shows and people who are going to the... Just walking out of the theater, they lay dumb- dumb dumb on the tall one and then the little one said something about a wet boy I got to meet I just wanted to meet Matt Dillahunti and they all got weird they water, man. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha annoying woman yelling at someone until they're like, fine, I'll make your fucking movie.

And we get to see a dead child just floating in water. That's like the first that's the cold open. It's very cold open. Yeah. And it was like the Nirvana cover, the never mind cover. Right. With a 14 year old like a sequel to that. It's like still reaching for that dollar. Yeah. Like a dead kid reaching for that dollar. Yeah, like a dead kid reaching for a dollar sums up this movie perfectly. It's pretty much it. All right, so we're going to open up this movie meeting John Smith. John is a 14 year old

boy who wakes up with basketball on his mind. We will learn that that is the only thing that will ever be on his mind. What writers room that that is the only thing that will ever be on his mind. What writers room were they in where everything like this kid goes down to breakfast, he pours a basketball out of his cereal box. Pours a basketball that should be milk onto the basketball, starts to eat it with a basketball instead of a spoon. This is Christian exposition. Yes. All right, and like every family in the history of Christian movies, we meet this one at breakfast. Dad has a phone holster. Dad is the personification of phone holster. And by the way, we're under a minute at this point.

We've seen one American flag already and two cell phone holsters. Well, and one person standing in the Jesus Christ post doing this. Yeah, all in the first minute. They're fast. And okay, so dad and and John the main character are gonna talk basketball as though Eli were writing a skit and had to Google stuff

right like it almost sounds like the proper nouns were added in post hey son are you excited for the shooting oh yeah dad I can't wait to see Michael Boo-bla-y Next got Also we should point out I guess we didn't mention the opening song yet the opening here's hey You don't watch our show. You don't listen to our show. Hey, what's it like to be Eli Heath and Noah? I'll tell you they cut hot damn from uptown funk. Yes Keep it boom man. We're just fam man

Hot darn nothing nothing just the nothing Silence of a woman who yelled at them for the word damn Please not the way silence of a woman who yelled at them for the word damn. They didn't want to bring down the wrath of the dove family reviews. Yes, exactly. Watching pleaded pants and cell phone posters and they were like, what should we? We'll be the good music for the Umptown funk. Yeah, right. Brunem Hanks. What could speak?

What could say suburban white family better? Yeah. So they sit down for breakfast. The dad and the son are just gonna eat right away without even saying a magic spell, but mommy gonna have any of that shit. She says the most passive aggressive graces in the history of film.

Boys, can we pray? Dear Lord, fuck mouth, husband and and son writing the face. Write the fucking face, Lord, writing the face. I hope they fall and they like sit on their nuts when they go to sit down. But just for a little bit, like not Mr. Belvedere sit on their nuts, just like that moment where you're like, oh, I was on my nuts. And then you're in pain. And I hope a woman asked somewhat's wrong. So they have to lie about it.

And it's dumb. It hurts Lord. In Jesus name, amen. Let's eat some fucking eggs. Let's do this. So they finished breakfast. Mom is going to drive John to school. But John's listening to his headphones.

He's not paying any attention to mom. Last 16, Andrew. I wanted to pull the headphones out, and it's like, it's Matt Dillan, to yell on it, something else. What the fuck? What is that? I'm just listening, he's telling me to shut up

and stop interrupting him. I don't know what I did. The episode is six months old. He knows my name. When expert in ancient Greek fuck. All right, so they drop Momma's school. We have to have the O hug your mom, bitter, whatever, because we have to keep reestablishing that

mom is better than everyone else in this script. Mm-hmm, right. So she drops him off at school. She's friends with his friends, because she's a cool mom. And then we go through the whole morning at school, Rig Amarole, and this is really just kind of an establishing shot, more or less,

except that it's been 25 years since I've been in high school, and I had to go through it and go like, oh, God, yeah, I remember all that shit. It's, there's so many crazy things that, first of all, I want to talk about the Martin Luther King name drop that happens at the beginning of this movie. So they're doing more announcements. And for no reason, the movie grinds to a halt

while the secretary is like, just a reminder, Martin Luther King Day is coming up. We celebrate that here in St. Louis, Missouri, even though you may have heard otherwise. They might as well have turned to the only black girl in class and been like, you're welcome. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, and I should point out, by the way, this school.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Stop, stop doing the business. The school in this movie is wider than y'all, okay? So and I love there is the one the one black girl student and They can't get through the whole damn movie without making her an amazing singer. No, they can't We'll get to it. Yeah, and they're doing the Family tree the oral the oral family history reports. Yes. Right. And the people who made this movie thought they nailed race relations in America right

here. Didn't they? And it's rough. They're like white people. For example, Kimberly equals Mayflower. We white people brought the laws of Moses to America for the God of the universe. Oh, sorry, equally important. Um, Shayla, black people like Shayla equals jazz music. Jazz music. We are not making that all. During the family history report, they turn to the only African American girl in class. They pause.

You see them go, slur. Jazz music everybody. If she had pulled out a saxophone and just been like, I'm getting a sad card for this. No, the title of the assignment might as well have been all lives matter. Sorry, one last story about my family history and the great time they had with the wonderful Christian people here in Missouri. Stop, cut. Yeah.

All right, so he's in school, then we cut over to mom who I guess works at a church or just won't leave. They never really established this because like the employees of the church are like, are you here again? But we all know that lady, right? We know the lady who never worked at your church, but was just always there. She was like, hi, haven't seen you in a while. I was here yesterday. Do you live here?

So yeah, so now her name is Joyce. She's played by Chrissy Metz, who you might know from what's the show she's on. This is us. This is us. So they were daring us to make jokes about her weight. We're not going to play class. You're nice. Dry movie. Oh, make fun of Chrissy Metz. She's a gem. She's a talented gem. That's all I have to say about her. And it's a real shame because if she was a little thinner she could be in any movie she wants but no she has to be in this piece of shit as good an actor as she is so yeah so she's she's holding women's Christian book club meeting and I love this line because they needed to heard to be saying something

when tofer graces character walks in the room so he says she says I read this book it says that you should pray boldly What does it mean to y'all to pray boldly? And quick before they have to actually tackle the fact that that's absolute nonsense. Toe for Grace walks in and says, I'm in the scene now. I wanted a woman to answer that so badly. Be like, actually I do have an answer. Bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, isn't that? No, okay. That's how I pray. Yes. And I always get what I pray for. Next time you miss prayer, just walk over whatever you want and make that noise.

50-50 shot, you get it. Yes. And less it's a date, yeah. Then it's seventy-third. Yes. Because we're in Kentucky, am I right? No, you're not. We're not in Kentucky, dude. We're in Kentucky. You're not fooling anybody since an addy. You're not.

Woo! Bukal! Bukal! Bukal! Bukal! Bukal! Alright. So now, again, for those of you who aren't familiar with our show, we should tell you one of the things that happens over and over again when you watch 292 Christian movies, is you see all the actors that you loved from old TV shows and you go, aww. So this time it was Toe for Grace from that 70s show. Now, I'll be honest, I don't

feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for Chrissy Metz. Toe for Grace can go fuck himself. Right, he was on a show with me, La Cune, and then Aston Cushion, and he's going, no, I'm the talent, I'll be in movies. No, no. But he will play the hip pastor in this film. Like as a bad guy. Yeah, right, right. Yeah. The bad guy in this movie is Hairgel. Like secondary villain is Tofer Grace's Hairgel. Yeah. And how much this mom hates it. And if case you're thinking yourself, wait, wait, wait, these guys must be miscommunicating, the plot of this movie at the beginning is not that she doesn't like the new minister because he has a modern haircut.

You're wrong, you should have listened to our podcast! That's what the movie is about for an hour! It literally is. It literally is that he's a hip-cool pastor that wants to do rock and roll and she's an old fashioned Christian. Yup. He's like, all right Bible nerds, I'm gonna go look at a fossil and campaign for Mayor Pete. And he leaves. Mayor Pete, right? Yeah. All right, so yeah, more applause than he normally gets in his home state. So yeah. Yeah. All right. So now another trope of Christian movie dumb that we've become very familiar with is what

we call bad sports scene. This movie I have to say had probably the best sports in the history of Christian cinema. This was amazing. They played a good 30 seconds of basketball. Nobody got physically injured. Nope. Trying to do it. They like made some 30 seconds of basketball. Nobody got physically injured. Nope. Trying to do it. They like made some baskets without edits. Yeah. It didn't devolve into like terrified improv of like sporting motions that don't exist. It's nobody hit anything with a bat. It was amazing. Yeah.

Gosh. Like, oh, you got this. Basketball. Um, what, what do you know all right just do baseball just what Are you balancing something on your football can you do football? Are you naked? You know what naked swimming football we're gonna end it on that that's perfect all right all right No, that bit will kill on the podcast though guys. That's just for you. Oh, how was the A-Con? Got to see naked swimming football boom! You guys want to see a backflip? Ready? Watch! I have a little side note I want to do when we get to the movie in a second.

So I did that joke at our first ever live show and I was like you know it would be really funny. I should learn how to do a backflip so that someday I can make that joke and actually do a backflip and then no one will know it would be so funny. It's a great idea. So I went to a local gymnastics parlor, what do they call those? And I went to the world.

What do we know how this is gonna end? And I went to the lady and I was like, hi, I know you're busy teaching children. Would you like to stop and teach a man who looks like me? How to do a back flip? And she was like, do you have all the money in the world? And I was like, I don't. and she was like do you have all the money in the world and I was like I don't and she was like all right then you're literally never gonna be able to do a backflip

Except I totally learned it Rods surling everybody Twilight zone come on Rods, sirling everybody! Twilight Zone? Come on. I just want to say you're actually the only one of the three of us that can't do a backflip. So, um, do a backflip. Heath? He always does that when we record the podcast. Usually he doesn't get his good reaction. I have never been more scared than I was joking. How was Aacon? A guy died. A 38 year old man died but he cried for so long. Alright so anyway we were talking about a movie.

So he gets home from... Nope, nope he doesn't get home yet. Alright so because before he gets home he falls into the ice. And then he's just fine, thank you Eli. Now tell us more stories about you with the gym all right so but okay so they do some some basketball we meet the bully kid who will serve no function of this movie whatsoever and then the coach has to talk to john john is a very good basketball player but he's never going to make it to the NBA if he doesn't finish his oral family history report. The key to getting into the NBA? Good behavior. Let's

be honest. But yeah, the war establishing here is John's all messed up. Nobody can get through to him, not even perpetually angry coach. Then he heads home this is the party I was trying to skip ahead to and he's working on his assignment as family history report. Mom has to come in and ask him a bunch of questions like how is school, how is how is basketball practice etc. And he keeps going fun, fun. And I'm like oh my god the mystery at the heart of this motion picture is what is a 14 year old boy really mean when he says fine. Yeah.

And by the way, this movie gets it wrong because he now has a flashback to being a sad little boy who's sad that he's adopted. Yep. Which means this crazy woman who wrote this movie was like, y'all, I gotta be honest with you. When my 14 year old son was sharp with me, I realized then and there, he was sad, he was adopted, y'all. I really wanna hit that home during the movie, can we do that?

John must have just been in the room being like, no, I was a 14 year old, yeah, sad, he was adopted. Nobody loved him, all alone in the world, orphan, orphan. John, tell him how you was an orphan. All right. So wait, wait, no, but they doubled down on this, right? Right after establishing this, then we go on, the very next scene is him at school, doing his oral family history report. I'm plowing through through i don't care what you guys are doing on the wrong

plan through you're in the open we've had to so he gives it gives his report and he says you know i was i'm from guantamala and my mother didn't love me and nobody love me until a white savior came along now i want to point out though I want to point out this kid was adopted on or around 2000 by a Christian couple on a mission from Guatemala.

The odds that he was kidnapped are nine out of ten right that he was stolen by the government or whatever and paid for pretty high but anyway is he comes out to give his report, he says, I'm complex and brooding. And then he sits down. Most of my family got killed by ancient Mormons who showed up in a summer. That's enough. That's enough. Orphan. Sorry, that was a note from your mom. I had to But now that we've established that he's adopted twice, we now move on, we go to church, but it's cool church, right? So they've got their big musical guest.

I'm sure if I was a, if Seth Andrews was here, he could tell me what band this was. Oh, this was a jazz man and the May flowers, I think. This is... This man, look, you shouldn't go see this movie, but you should see this band. You remember when your dad went through his third divorce and he started a band with that guy he met at the gym and the plumber? That's this band.

You just pictured him, that's them. But it's amazing because it's like rock and roll, Jesus. So the whole time Chrissy Metz's character just sit there Angry over the rock and roll we get we get a really long close-up of mom's face So we're getting the rock and roll but then a rapper. Oh my god starts rapping. That's jazz man He's the lead man just And he starts rapping and then we get like like an eight minute close up of Chrissy Matt's just being like racist is your head.

Yes. Violently racist in her head. Yes. Visibly thinking the end word. Yes. The movie will confirm this later. We're not exaggerating. No, right.

You're right. She eventually admits this much. Do you love sitting next to your dad when Barack Obama is on TV? Then you will love this movie. So the band plays their song and we sit through all 11 fucking minutes of it for you. And then Toe for Grace takes the pulpit thank you for his sermon. And he's a cool pastor so it's based based on something, you know, that the kids are into. The Bachelor.

And this could not be more loosely tied to Jesus. Oh, he's like, how many of you watch the Bachelor? Oh, okay. Oh. I got it. It's fine. It's fine. Do you want to this? No. Oh, okay. Oh. Oh. Oh, okay. Oh. Oh.

Oh, okay. Oh. Oh. Oh. I got it. It's fine. It's fine. Do you want to this?

No. We got to play another song. Orphan. Jesus. It's like the bachelor because he wants a hand job in the hot tub. Do another song. Do another song. do another song. Shayla, everybody.

I'm literally trying my best. I'm writing in my notes as I'm watching this. I'm trying to translate this. I'm like, Jesus is like one of the ladies on the Bachelor. And we're like the Bachelor because Jesus wants us to fuck him. I don't know. I really don't. But he gives his little bachelor sermon. And then on the way out, right?

Like he's doing the whole thing where they thank everybody for coming. And he's got his whole family there. And he's like, hey, look how white we are. 1.7 children. It's great. And then like John, the main character kid walks through. And he's, you know, he's being's being brutal and complex as he is want to do But to for grace breaks breaks him down a little bit. He's like yeah, this gets pretty good at basketball. I hear he's

lit Hate crime The line was a hate crime the first four takes were him trying to use the N word with John and him being like, no, man. Cut again. My sorry. Orphan, no. Not orphan. Oh, God.

All right. So now we cut to a basketball game and not a moment too soon. And John is playing some basketball. He's he's good, but he's greedy, right? He won't pass the ball. Yeah, right? Right? That's the important thing that we take away. And he wouldn't pass the ball to the racist kid from early. The bully kid that called the essay and the boy kid who called him a slur. So like it was like the coach getting mad at this point, being like, cooperate with racist when we tell you

this movie is shit. Yeah. Also St. Louis. He said, no shoot. Yeah, you get it. He gets worse. He sees the racist kid from earlier, doesn't pass to him. There's a teammate in a hood, he doesn't pass to him.

He turns and there's just Mitch McConnell standing there wide open. Oh, it's stuck in your neck. Mitch McConnell breaks the backboard, hangs off of it, too. I and everyone. All right, so. Yeah, I know there's this visual humor is killing it on the podcast man keep it going they should have been here all right so that's true that's true all right so so John's lady's he's me into his coach he's me his parents, he's going over to his buddies and honestly their playing this kid is such a dick. I'm rooting for the ice at this point. He calls his dad Brian.

Oh, that is right. If I called my father, Jeff, he'd be in jail right now for whatever happened next. Yeah. Like just pulling a hidden tooth pick out of a bagel. He was about to hand me. I am going to slowly pass this through your tongue. Don't make noise, I'm starting over. I'm fucking do it.

I look like Hellraiser by the end of it. Alright, so he goes over to his buddy's house for sleep over in. Wouldn't you know what they're all talking about? How nice it is to have birth parents that love them. This is the most forced conversation. Oh my God. It's so good. Hey, dude, this video game's pretty good.

But you know what's better than PlayStation 2? What's that? Having parents. Oh my, my biological parents, biological orphan, wanted me so much. What? Oh look at this picture of them wanting me like right away like my biological parents right away Wanted me right in this picture. I just loved being come into a lady who likes me, right? Now you talk orphan That's always how we kick things over to know by the way

Normally I cut it out, yeah. All right, so they have some fun in their sleep-out. Then they go out to have some, have a good time. And this is how terrible these child actors are. They need a montage of 14-year-olds, just being 14-year-olds. They fuck it up like four times. So when you were 14, did you ever do a snow basket ball parkour interpretive dance? Montage. That's what I did. Strangely enough. No. That's what they do. So yeah, so they're running around having

some fun. Then one kid comes up with a great idea. He's like, hey, let's jump up and down on the ice. And I was like, yay, ice jumping. And they test the ice at this point. This is the best. They pick up a rock. Maybe this big. Yeah. And they were like, yeah, it's good.

Anyway, the same as they do home. Perfect, jump on the ice. So yeah, so they go running around on the ice. And then there's like, there's a guy in a restaurant, right? That sees him on the ice. He runs out and he's like, hey kids, get off the ice and they're in there like, or what? He's like, or act one will end. What the hell do you think? And so sure enough, all three of them fall through the ice. But, John, yeah, right, who could have seen that coming?

A serious ways. So this happened to me in real life by the way, so maybe it's not mysterious. I don't know. Happy me too. Yeah. But what didn't happen to me is that as I was struggling my way out of the ice, none of my friends kicked me

in the face. This is the best. Well, what's so good? What's so good is the kids supposed to accidentally kick him as he's climbing out of the ice but the kids terrible so the kids like... This movie is way too racially charged for that moment. Let me tell you what it is. A third of my notes for the rest of this movie is, why does that kid go to admit to have

done the hate crime? And by the way, getting kicked, I don't know if you guys know, are there any scientists out there? They can confirm this, a couple of scientists, I saw some hands. So, confirm this or not. When you get kicked in the face, your density increases sharply. You become plutonium. Yeah, okay. Right to the bottom.

Yeah. Right, so he sinks. So then the first responders spring into action, the dispatchers like, hey, we've got three kids that crashed through the ice. One of them's Mexican and this is St. Louis, so don't shoot him. Are they main characters? Are they just... Well, one of them is a main character. I know, yeah. I know, yeah. Better get him. Okay. Are they main characters? Are they just like one of them is the main character?

I know. Better get the hell out. Is he Jewish or? No, he's, well, he's an orphan. All right, which type of orphan? Yes. We're on the way. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

They're just sitting there in the truck. Okay, let's go get some. Yeah. We need a wall. So all right, so the fire... It's a caravan of these orphans. So the fire truck pulls up and the guys get out and I'm sure this is a thing that they actually use for finding people that have broken through the ice, but it's really weird

if you're not familiar with it. Is it? It's a harpoon. I asked a firefighter today. We had found a firefighter today, and we were like, what is that stick? And he was like, I have no idea. We definitely do not harpoon children

as part of our job. No, that's what we were doing. I feel like anything with a sharp point would be a bad find the kid device, right? Maybe I'm crazy. No, no, no, you understand kids are magnets so we got a big magnet on the end of this very sharp stick right and we just sit above the water stabbing. I wanted them to pull up the wrong kid like

are you John? No, all right, sorry we're're gonna throw you back You're not job sorry. We're here for generally fallacy Korean barbecue nice all right, so We're dunking in the saltwater. Thank you. Thank you. You sir are the racist You made that a Korean child. I was making a food joke shame on him I was making a food joke shame on him. So. All right, so one of the two firefighters played by the way by Luke Cage. Luke Cage. That's right.

Very depressing. So, so he's like, they're looking for the kid, they can't find him. And then he hears a voice that says, go back. And he thinks it's the fire chief and he's like, yeah, okay, chief. And he goes, you get it. Now, of course, this is going to turn out later to be God, which means that God, like what, showed up late and went, fuck. Oh, no, Sarah, I was supposed to get him earlier. Harpoon the area. You have an harpoon yet. Okay, um, hey buddy, go back. You know, not front. You got it. I loved you in Luke Cage, by the way. I feel like the second season

kind of fell apart. That was really because they knew the you're overdoing it. Oh, go over doing it. You're a deity. So they pull they pull John up out of the ice. Their CPR and I'm like crazy. Mom gets the call, right? She's either like, hey, your kid fell through the ice, you can better get out of the hospital. So she drives out of her driveway like she's jealous that he gets to be the one in the hospital. Right, she's just driving around going like if my kids die and so's everyone else. She causes an accident a bunch of people drive into the lake. Oh fuck.

Alright, well, don't some prayers. Okay, bye. No, they've got hard puns. It'll be fine. Drive back. And we should point out because we know there are some medical professionals here tonight. They do not do CPR on John. They get to second base with John. The long... For the listening audience at home, he lies getting to second base with himself.

Tremelose, Tyome. That was a thumbs up on the hair pull. Yeah, the hair pull. Noted. One third of the audience was like, that guy gets it. And the other two thirds were like, well, those crates, I don't know what's happening. I don't know what he's talking about, I don't know what's happening. I don't know what he's talking about.

I don't want that at all. All right. So mom is, mom's got her prayer. She's heading to the hospital as fast as she can. Meanwhile, the doctors are doing all their hoax, focus, bullshit. Not gonna be enough. So the doctors give up. They're like, uh, fuck it, he's an immigrant.

My lunch break is at one. They might as well unpack lunches onto his corpse. So I says to her, I says, look, if we're going to watch a killing Eve together, then you need to wait for me. Don't watch. I'll watch. I'll go back and watch the same episode. I don't want you to go back and watch the same episode.

I want to experience it together. You were taking it. Anyways, I want to watch it. All right. You're going to finish that. So mom runs in and they have this spectacular like semi-raised moment where she's like, I'm here for John Smith. And they're like, yeah, we're waiting on his mom to show up and she's like, I am his mom

and they're like, oh, we were right. Right. Because dad is mixed. I'm his mom, are you? Sorry. Soy Sumadre. Shit. A story is a Sarah Rampstar.

You'll need to get it right, ma'am. You'll need to get it right. Ah, fuck. Sarah, final answer? I wish my son was in a library. It's a little bit like a fine, I don't need you. All right, so the doctor comes to see mommy's like, hey, your kid's dead. And she's like, what do you mean, dad? He's like, no, I't need you. All right, so the doctor comes to see mommy's like, Hey, your kid's dead.

And she's like, what do you mean, dad? He's like, no, I'll show you. Come on. So they bring her back. But the doctor has this amazing moment where he's like, he basically just goes, hey, I'm bringing back to mom, try to act like you're still doing doctor shit. Yeah, right.

He's orderly. He's just like sweeping off the course. Yeah. Stabbing IVs in and out of him in and, Shit. Yeah, right. He's orderly, he's just like sweeping off the court. Yeah. Stabbing IVs in and out of him. And if, oh, yep, medicine. Pushing a sandwich into his mouth. Oh, look at him.

He loves it. No, no, no, no, no. Damn. So fucking me. He's talking about this. He's dead. Yeah. Oh, he's so dead. He's talking about his kid. He's dead.

Yeah. So the doctors that keep your ass to yourself. So the doctor says, yeah, your kid's dead. We did everything we could. Take as long as you want to say goodbye. And then the mom has this moment. And again, Chrissy Mets very good actor absolutely brings you to tears in this moment and again, Chrissy, that's very good actor. Absolutely brings you to tears in this moment. But what she's really saying is, I don't understand my kids so much more

important than all the other ones, right? She's a good enough actor to bring a tear to your eye, but that's what she's saying. There's like an evil problem here. Like an entire problem of evil, I guess you could say I look on the whole, we'll come up with it. I'm gonna pray away the lack of oxygen. That's a reference to our show. That wasn't a weird boo than that guy just did. Someone jingled keys just now

in a third of the audience were like, stop interrupting the comedy. They're gonna squish the banana. All right. So mom tries a variety of magic words and spells and eventually she hits on the right one that unkills John. Dear God of he-ma-globin. Really need you to ramp it up. Really. Be-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-de Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty,

Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty, Bitty So okay, they've got to airlift him to another hospital because just in the next town over is the best drowning guy in the world. I'm sorry. St. Louis, Missouri has the best blank guy in nothing. Yes, yes, boss. Yes, no. He is the foremost expert in drowning.

I want it so badly for them to flash cut over to him and just be like, yeah, they got drowned. I wanted him to be laying at the bottom of an ocean dead. They bring a guy over covered in sand, not drowned. Bring over a guy on fire, not drowned. Three for three, foremost, excellent. Foremost, thank you for joining. That's cool. There's this great moment because Chrissy Mets

is a very large woman. There's this great moment where they have to airlift him. And it plays like, because the way it's supposed to be, she's scared to get on the plane, but she loves her son, or the choppers, but she loves her son so much that she'll get over her fear of flying. But the way it plays is that the pilot's going like,

you sure you wouldn't want to drive in a fear of flying. But the way it plays is that the pilot's going like, you sure you wouldn't wanna drive in a car? This movie is daring us to make fat jokes. They will not win. Even when the helicopter pilot blocks the door with his body and is like, please, we can't do it. We got to borrow a thing from the zoo, Chris, the I don't want to. There's a shot of it flying away, Tilton.

What were we not going to do again, Eli? For your dad! That's what I said. We're not making those jokes. We're better than that. So she buys two tickets to the helicopter. Yeah, that's fine. Wow.

All right, so now we got to the other hospital. Pastor Tofer Grace is already there to help her. So they start bitching about whether his approach to Christianity is to modern. There could not be a worst time. Yeah, so just I know this is a weird time to do it, but your pastor style really leaves something to be desired. We're going to talk about it now. Yeah, no, my son's dying, but a rapper in church. She, God damn rapper. She actually says that in the movie. She's like, I was very uncomfortable with the rapper. The rapper was ridiculous. Yes yeah her her mouth didn't move to rapper but that's with the word we rapa rapa

all right so now this was an amazing moment for me personally in the theater because the guy that does the all-state commercial plays the doctor in this. So I spent this whole movie waiting for him to turn to us and be like, did your kid die? That's why you've got all-state. So here we are in the theater. It's me and Heath and like nine Christian couples on dates. And he walks out and I turn to Heath and I say, don't worry, he's in good hands.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! And the lady...

No, I got in trouble. No, I got in trouble. The lady right behind me laughed and was mad at me because she laughed for the rest of the fucking night. He's not an appropriate time to be making jokes. He was not my laugh for the year. He was playing across four seats. I am, and that was funny.

So the doctor comes, he's the foremost expert in drowning, I guess. He says, all right, so I have good news for you. Your son, if he survives, will have severe mental retardation, but don't worry he won't survive. Has brains all like I stop and shit. I'm the foremost expert in this. We're gonna euthanize him later. I'm an atheist. But it's okay, she explains to him that her son is a fighter.

And I want it so badly in one of these Christian movies that the doctor is just be like, oh shit, he's a fighter. I was just kind of coasting, but yeah, I'm gonna try now. Yeah, oh ramp it up. Didn't realize I was doing medical emergency medical treatment on a fighter. Yes. Why am I even here? Here you take the coat. There are 11 times in this movie where I want a doctor to do that to her.

No, here you got the stuff that's going to go. You go, you know better than I do. Because yeah, this is when the mom gives the doctor a quick pep talk. She says, you're the best in the world at what you do. He's like, I work in Missouri. I do have a Nobel Prize in drowning. But it is Missouri. So, all right. So we cut over the waiting room for a minute,

just to see how many people love John and have come to help take care of him. And then we head home with one of the, okay, so the first doctor to give up on him, the non-all state guy doctor is coming home uh... to his family this guy's daughter follow me here this doctor's daughter is john's crush from school so he gets home and that the little girl runs out and she's like oh i heard that john had an accident is he okay and he's like

he isn't dead and she's going to survive in the he's like, he isn't dead. And so he's going to survive. And the doctor's like, oh no, no, no. You're missquoting here. Honey, you really don't understand Daddy's job. I work in an emergency room, okay? None of them are okay. None of them. If it's not a Jewish mom just freaking out over nothing,

none of them are okay. And yes, don't look away. Orphan. So, but the little girl's like, but mom said there was a miracle. And he's like, I mean, he's gonna die slower now. Right. I guess.

There was a miracle. My science just got flat out beat by magic. Yeah, it's real. Yep. I'm the world's foremost expert in Missouri based science. Science is wrong here in Missouri. Yeah, that's the message of the movie. All right. So now we have to cut back to the firehouse where we can see Luke Cage again. Everybody's sure worried about that kid that they saved. And this is where Luke Cage turns to the chief and he's like, you know, they're like, ah, you know, Luke Cage, you save that kid's life. And the, the Luke Cage says, well, I wouldn't have never found him if the chief hadn't told

me to go back. And the chief's like, I didn't say that. And he's like, wait, does that mean I'm some kind of firefighter profit? It's like, no, no, that's a different, totally different movie. There. He legit, it's like they're all workshopping it. He's like, okay, yeah, maybe I misheard someone or just thought to myself, go back and was panicked in the moment. Or, or hear me out.

Palestinian rabbi from 2000. I feel like God could have been more specific. You know, we could have said no to the left, to the left. Getting warmer, warmer. So now we get a quick sad or not killed the child. Well, there was a lot of options. A lot of various options. You're good. All right. Yeah. You know, you could have given water, walking powers. You could have parted the seas. He had a lot of shit in his

quiver there. All right. So now we get a quick sadness montage. The title card informs us that it's been 18 hours since the accident. And so now we get a quick sadness montage. The title card informs us that it's been 18 hours since the accident. And so we picked the action back up, post sadness montage with mom and tofer still arguing about the right way to turn people to the Lord. Right? This is where she really goes off on the idea

of having a rapper at church and he goes, look, I'm just trying to make God cool for the kids because if there's one thing and I'm nip in it being needs, it's as much help as he can get. So at this point the doctor comes in, doctor all state, he comes in and he goes, eh, he lived. Now you're going to make a fucking movie about this, aren't you? You're already sending out catch scripts. Yeah, he lived. Now you're gonna make a fucking movie about this, aren't you? You're already sending out catch scripts.

Not maybe wait until he survives. Sorry, I can't hear you. The orphan that lived longer. The orphan that lived even longer than that. And then he's like, great magic lady, by the way, I got to admit, great magic. So just quick question. Why aren't you like, you know, you're an evil wizardist who can do that. Why don't you help all our other patients?

Right. You're in a hospital right now. You could just be going room to room. That's the best all take on this movie ever. They just bring her into another room with a dead body. All right, come on for science. I passed out credits. All right, well, as hard as this is to believe, that's the big ending on Act 2 is near as I can tell this movie has no more stakes to add.

So we're going to take a quick break here, but first let me give Act 3 the hard sell. Will John survive? Who's feeding their fucking dog? Why aren't the mothers of the 770 children here who die from drowning more pious. Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the cheese corn conclusion of Breakthrough. Hey Noah, what's the matter? It's this computer man, building a website is impossible.

Why- why don't you just try wix.com? What's wix.com? It's the easiest and best way to make your idea reality. Wait, is that the thing you started like the- the soap petting zoo? Okay, first of all, that was a great idea until it rained. No, it really wasn't. Second of all, no, this is not my idea. Over 140 million people use Wix for their website. You can start and publish for free. They have

over 500 awesome templates to choose from. And if drag and drop is too much for you, they have an awesome website builder tool. Okay, but who do I drag and where do I drop them? I don't know that. Exactly. So whether you're planning to build a website to prank the skeptic of the year, looking to start your business, or just planting the first clue in an elaborate scavenger hunt that you've been interweaving into your podcast for the last five years, you can get started now by going to wix.com. That's wix.com slash podcast to get 10% off. Wix.com slash podcast. All right, I'll give that a try. Good thinking. All right, now I'm sorry, what did you say about the scavenger hunt don't worry about it so i'm worried about it though don't but don't please don't

so i think the best thing we can do is excuse me doctor oh well very sorry ma'am we didn't realize that you were there well Well, I am. And from this forward moment, there will be no negative talk in front of my son. No talk of death or dying. My son is a fighter. And he's going to recover. No talk of work. Okay, I get I don't know how we okay fine.

Fine. Two days later. My baby. Oh, he's Fine. Two, life. So I guess I'll call it type of not life to 37 am. You got it, got it. You guys did great. He's an orphan. Fuck you. And we're back for more of this shit.

When we last let, oh yeah, yeah, no, by all means. By all means. And when we last left off, John had barely survived the night. And now we're going to pick up that thread again with the news finding out about this wonderful, almost but not quite dead kids story. The newscaster is like, hi, I'm a newscaster. A kid fell through the ice and they did a bunch of that doctor bullshit, total waste of time. But then his mom showed up and prayed back to you, other real journalism. So, and then we have to check in with Toe for Grace having breakfast with his family

because he had a demand for a certain amount of screen time or something. This seems there's no purpose. No. There are the kids that he's got two young kids, a young son and a young daughter, and they're saying like, Dad, I don't understand what your job is. Why did you go to the hospital? And I'm like, kids, it's not going to make more sense as you grow older. Most stuff does. This is not one of those things. Let me explain. Dad had a hard time in high school, right? But girls weren't interested anyway. And so I just thought, all right, pastor, why not? And it all sort of flew out of control.

And I met your mom and she really sunk her hooks in, son. I mean, sunk her hooks in. And then she was pregnant, and we were married, and I just woke up one morning, lying to people about a 6,000 year old book made of of old morality tales. So I went to the hospital for some PR, and it's not working out.

Ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Whoo. Ha-ha-ha-ha. I mean, I was called. I was called to the mission. Can I try a metaphor? Do you all know what a metaphor is? I'm asking. Do you know what a metaphor is?

Yeah, daddy. We do. Okay, because my job is based on a failed metaphor. I don't know. I'm going to try to move on next scene. All right. So the next scene will be back at the firehouse. Donnie, that's a blue cage. He's really struggling with this hearing voices in his head thing for all the wrong reasons. So the chief shows up to put a positive spin on it. He's like, look, man, the odds are you find in that kid without God's intervention are a million to one. I did the math. That

means it should happen about once every three years based on the number of kids that drown. Anyway, so the firefighter goes, either I'm nuts or ellipses, and the fire chief comes in or says, or God's talking to you. Like those are two ways of saying the same thing, bro. That's what I'm saying. Those are synonyms. I so want to continue.

It's one to not a venn diagram, man. I so wanted that to continue though. He's just like, maybe God speaking to me and he puts his hand in his back and he's like, yeah man, maybe he is. He's like, he wants me to shit in the Wendy salad bar. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I need you to cut the communication. No. Oh. No, he was pretty clear that Adnan did it.

I just know. Oh. Oh. He told me to take revenge all right wait we're coming up on my favorite line in the whole fucking movie so tofer and dad are hanging out at the hospital together and basically the dad's going like hey this is my kid surviving that's bullshit right god can't do that until he's like, yeah, that's nonsense. And the dad says, and I quote, look, I've researched hundreds of drowning cases, hundreds of them. Nobody in John's situation has ever survived.

It's been 19 hours. In the last 19 hours, dad has researched hundreds of drowning cases. Where's that study montage? Just push it to the limit. Limit standing on the raises. Don't get going. You can win it. For those listed on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, get on the moon, kid, dead kid, dead kid. Page down, fuck dead kid. No one who's ever drowned a death has ever survived. They die.

Whoa. And then we get this another great moment where, okay, so mom's in the bathroom at the hospital. She's checking her diabetes, checking her blood sugar. And these doctors all come in and don't realize she's in the bathroom at the hospital. She's checking her diabetes, checking her blood sugar. And these doctors all come in and don't realize she's in the next room. And they're all going like, this kid's, this is a fucking waste of time.

This kid's like, it's a build that wall. I mean, as one of the millions of atheist nurses in Missouri, I'm thinking we euthanized the kid as well. I mean, we need death panels, what I'm saying. The extent to which everyone in the background of this movie is constantly going, oh, that kid ain't going to make it is amazing. All right, so she comes out of the bathroom and rips them a new one. This is, we alluded to it in the interstitial sketch.

This is where she says that they will speak no negative words around her son. I'm sorry, I'm thinking we unlife the kid. But so, but again, this is the insidious message in this movie, right? Because this message tells you over and over again, if the doctors tell you your kids gonna die, you tell them how to do their damn jobs, right? That is the message over and over again. And of course, buried within that message is, if your kid is almost dead, and the doctor's tell you he's gonna die,

and then he goes, Ed and dies, it's your fault. Right? That's the other insidious message that underpins this entire thing. Yeah. If you're a doctor or a nurse or an EMT or any kind of rescue worker, this movie just made your job hell for like three months.

Three months, you're gonna get side-tackled by some lady. Unbreakable! What's the movie called? Breakthrough! I will annoy Tim with oils! Just trying to put an oxygen mask on the kids, she's sitting there. I saw this in a movie. Alright, so she had to home to get her insulin for a minute so that she can walk around the house being sad.

I feel like the hospital would have had some of that. It's fine. So they're not carrying insulin. Well, in just in case we didn't hate her enough yet, she's like, she gets home and she's like, oh, like, she gets home and she's like, oh, right, the dog. There was no reason to have this scene. The only reason to have this scene

is to make the characters unlike most. She's like, she's the dog. She's like, oh, you must not have eaten in days and all of our notes are just like, fuck this woman. We will find you. So she goes in and she gets her insolence goes into john's room to have the boby sad uh... but then she gathers up all his basketball uniform and his air

jordan's because apparently that's part of the magic spell or something and i thought she was going to like dress him up and trying to i was just going to say that would be an awkward game of basketball. BELL RINGS Hey everybody, look, it's John! Oh, uh, Mrs. D. Maybe he should... No?

No, John is here for basketball, let's do this. I don't... I don't think this is... Basketball, let's go! Alright, he shoots, he... It is... I don't think this is a ball. Let's go. All right, he shoots. He... It is.

Nice try, John. Nice try, almost. This is a bummer. Bell! Hahaha. Guys, this is my job. That's stupid. Yes, as you go back to the hospital, she looks over John, she goes,

like, I brought your Jordans. I so wanted to be like, well, if no one else is going to wear this Michael Jordan jersey, I guess I'll have to put it on. It's straight out of bed. No. Oh, this is the moment where they have the hands squeezy thing. Yes. Okay. So this woman is convinced apparently that at some point, well, her child was in a coma. He was communicating with her by squeezing her hand. Even in the movie, the doctors say, no, that just kind of happens.

It's like an involuntary thing and they're like, fuck you. What do you know? But more importantly, the movie demonstrates that it wasn't repeatable, right? They've been the doctor in the room and he's like, all right, fine, John squeezed my hand and she's like, go on, squeeze his hand on it and he doesn't do it and he's just like, well, this is above marion. Squeeze zero times if you're a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha stay in a medical coma if your favorite basketball player is Michael Jordan

Steph Curry runs on to set. He loves Steph Curry. He loves Steph Curry. So yeah, they have the whole moment. Her and the pastor ask him questions, and he squeezes their hands or whatever. And then they have to have, of course, again, the doctor has to say, well, you know, involuntary muscle spasms are very common with patients in a coma, but they have to make that guy evil, right?

So he's like, probably a spasm, you're fat. Fuck you. God's dead. So is your kid. You're fat fuck you God's dead There's actually a there's a great conference in Cincinnati And you're making me late come on Let's unplug your pudding cup All right, what religion is God? Squeeze for Christian.

Fuck. Squeeze for Mormon. Mother fuck. Jewish? Squeeze. Wait, get the fuck out of here. God damn it. All right.

You all knew it. Doesn't count. So, all right, so now mom has to the waiting room where all ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She says, apropos of nothing. This is how she opens the conversation. She goes, Chrissy, it wasn't your fault. And the, yeah, she's like, I didn't say that it was. Why would, I was actually facing the other direction and you turned me around and stand on my ball. I'm sorry, you were apologizing. No, I was just,

orphan. You owe was just orphan. You owe me an orphan and One orphan, please got it. Do you have Amazon Prime? I do. I would like it about to see your Amazon day So not Tuesday liar All right, so and then of course elsewhere in the waiting room somebody's going whisper whisper whisper John's Sogan a die and there is no God whisper whisper but it was like can I talk to you over here next next to this bull horn John's gonna super duper down. Yeah, yeah, right right. I know it's a bunch of living boys in your class Maybe like one of the living ones So then of course, yes to yell at everyone in the in the waiting room and say,

my son's not gonna die. And at this point, he starts cracking up laughing. So then she turns to chastise Heath a little bit too. And you shouldn't be laughing. This is rare serious. Fuck you, you're taking up four seats, whatever. So you're laying a crop, that's ridiculous. Go ahead.

So now, Dad pulls mom aside to tell him what a bitch she's being. And again, this makes it like in real life, I'm sure that was a very appropriate thing for Dad to do. In this movie, it makes no sense. I feel like maybe the writers were just sick and tired of the woman this was based on.

And they're like, let's write a scene about what a bitch she is She might as well be like help help my sons on fire. Okay yelling All of us are perfectly calm right now Maybe you could learn my name. My name is Alan by the way. Hi Alan. How are you help help my son is dying That's all I'm asking Grab John's hand squeeze any number from zero to a hundred for mom is mentally ill. Yeah Zero well, yeah, cuz at this point the like the dad's like hey, you need to calm down These people are trying to help and she's like, oh, I'm'm sorry did you pray our son back to life? No, that was me

me Wanted so badly for a doctor to just pop up behind her. It was actually neither of you Do you remember the scene where I was poking him in the chair? And all that stuff and the drugs and we zapped him magic. Okay. It's I'll be in the other room doing other medicine. Is it? All right, so now we cut to 42 hours after the accident. They see they think you're gonna make a timeline They thought I had some car and some some push pins and I was like wait wait wait how many hours after Keep in track of this movie now this is probably the weirdest

Decide that the movie has right because Pastor Toe for Grace comes into check on mom and mom's in a diabetic coma. Yeah, right, but then three Seconds later she's fine So they're like oh, we need another conflict. Never mind, we don't. I just remember we had a dead dying kid, that's enough. Do you want us to amputate your feet, squeeze zero time? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I might know you're just okay if that didn't matter couldn't the movies just be five minutes shorter and no no Right fuck us then I guess we can leave five minutes early It's like like the movies trying to get us out after a dinner party well I'm gonna die better coma another game of risk I really like risk. More than me a pizza though.

Squeeze one for you. All right, but she gets exiled, right? The doctor says, hey, you're stressed out too much. You have to spend at least five hours away from your son. So tofer decides that he's gonna hang out with her in exile so that she can have some one-on-one time with him and tell him all about the kids she gave up for adoption when she was 18 and how she never forgave herself. Yeah, it's a terrible thing to do.

Greatest tofer Grace has that exact same response. She's like, you don't understand, Pastor, I gave my son up for adoption and he's like, and oh, that was it. That's interesting. Oh. So, okay. But now who? I was an spider man. Yes. It's gonna be venom.

It's been a while. It's gonna be venom. All right. So now she has to head out to the roof to have a chat with God, which if you're an experienced Christian movie viewer, you realize that means, oh, we're almost done. Yeah, we're almost done. We're almost there.

Relax. We're fucking not. We're not. They have so many experts. Oh my God. It goes, it's like, it ends like Lord of the Rings. So, so she has to apologize to God for being so prideful. And then she says, but I surrender to you, God. And you can tell that God really like was buying into our surrendering because suddenly out of nowhere and inexplicably, it gets windier. And more snow during winter in St. Louis.

And you can only imagine what that scene was like in heaven, right? Sarah, Sarah get in here. Uh, yes, Mr. God. You see that lady down there? I drowned her kid and she was mean to people in the hospital, but now she's surrendering to me. No, he's nice.

Uh, so you want to throw a fireball? Nope. I'm doing... No, no, no. I was thinking some dramatic snow. You know, really set the scene for surrender and purity and peace. Mmm. So, aren't bit dandruff? Yeah, really go to town. I'll go to town go to

Get in there. Get in there. Don't stop. Love it pull my hair. Twist it pull my hair eat some Eat some you get it. I Very dry skin You killed the woo girls with eye-mere dry skin Our whole woo section left as one listener at home. They all got up They all pushed their chairs back and they walked out making hard eye contact with Heath and shaking their heads now All right, so now that mom surrendered to God she goes goes back down to check on her son, and the doctor says, you know, I'm worried that the medicine that we're using is actually just making him worse.

It's like science is a Ponzi scheme. So then mom says, well, why don't you just take him off all the drugs and let God handle it? To which doctor all state goes, why that's so crazy, it just might work. Hey good, I'm carrying the fucking team over here with my parents. Let's do this.

I so wanted a flash cut to them, just like flumping the sleeping kid out the window. All right, we've stopped all medical care. Oh yeah, he's dead. Well then be more specific next time. Ha ha. Orphan. But nah.

Ha ha. Well, let's see, here's the thing though, if they're going to not use any medicine, they're going to need more prayer than mom has to offer, right? So they need to call upon all of St. Louis to pray. So they come on the news. And the newscaster says, if this child is going to survive, we'll need all of you to pray. We have a montage of people all over St. Louis praying. You got some cops beating up a Black guy, they stop, oh wait, wait, wait, hey. The local loses on. Yes.

We're all watching. We all watch the local news. This is serious. It's 2014, of course we do. And as a matter of fact, the one person though that we see in this montage that doesn't pray is Luke Cage. Right, he thinks about it. He's like, that's dumb.

I did the stick thing, I think I'm good. Ha, ha, I'm good. Alright, so mom and dad and tofu are standing over the kid praying and then suddenly a bit of Jesus magic wafes in through the open window in the hospital in January and St. Louis what the fuck were they thinking? And we started here. I don't know that I've ever heard he've loud, this loudly before.

There's a little singing outside. As though the peanuts were gonna save that Christmas tree after all. And it starts off with that one black girl from the school in... Jaila! Yes, Jaila makes it come founder of jazz. Invented jazz.

Yup. And then the whole crowd cuts in and they are perfectly harmonized. And they brought a pit orchestra. Yes, it's invisible. It's an invisible pit orchestra. They brought one. Wanted a flash cut to that honey grab your cello. We're praying for the dead kid. That's a drowning kid. We needed a cello. I really wanted the rapper to start

rapping at this point. And then mom's just like yelling ethnic slurs out the Stop praying that way! Shayla? Alright. Alright. There's this enormous awkward silence after they finished the song too. And it's just like... We only practiced one song. Dance so... Bye! Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, So by Rarrow now. Yeah Well, I had you to myself. I didn't want you. Oh, sorry. I just thought she wanted another song

I don't want to wear another song. Let's fill it up. You're born I love that's the only rap song he's could think of He's good thing. Hey, really, I got this. No, please for our career go ahead please Box please. Let's keep doing a podcast man. So Billy Joel. We didn't start to fire the rap song sort of Shit what Some would call it the first rap song. That's right. We said it. Subterranean homesick blues, Bob Dylan. I can't. You can't even do a song. You know as a rap. Wow. Damn. Alright. So the next morning, mom fell asleep by the hospital bed. She wakes up

and Tommy, the firefighter, Luke Cage, is like standing in the in the doorway. Mom sees him and he runs off like she caught a master baiting over the kid or something. He runs off and the mom chases him down. She's like, hey, thank you so much. I haven't had a chance to thank you for her pooning my son and he's like, hey, it's my job. I'm just doing my, it's doing my job.

You did the magic, but should I just bring kids straight to you from your rights? No? Earlier you did the, nothing happened. Okay, that's fine. All right, so now it's 72 hours after the accident, and they're ready to take him off all the hospital stuff.

Mom's freaking out right, because he starts having like seizures and stuff. The doctor says, don't worry, this is the normal process. I want to remind you earlier in the movie, they told us several times no one has ever survived anything like this. There cannot then be a normal process for surviving it. I mean, people arrive before they die. Maybe that's what he meant. It's a normal process of dying. This is pretty, this is pretty classic death. Let me show you.

Freed up a bunch of machines. Thanks for that suggestion. Pretty soon is going to piss him. Yeah. Yeah. pissing. No, I just explained it a second ago. Right. Orph. So, but okay. Now I can't wake up yet though because we have to go artsy.

So apparently we had to, so they do this weird like drowning movies late in the hospital bed. The water starts rising over top of them. And he has to swim for his life. They have that whole five damn minutes of my what life that I'll never get back. But anyway, he wakes up. It's a miracle. Hooray. He wakes up. But that's not the dramatic tension of the scene. The dramatic tension of the scene is he's he gonna be like... So this whole movie has this horrifying moment of ableism where they're like, oh your son's alive and she's like Alive schmolive I'm not sick at the front of a baseball game for the next 26

Who's the president Barack Obama good now we can celebrate Barack Obama good now we can celebrate Yes, right now we give you happy So so all the big good old days all right So now everybody at the school is celebrating his recovery doctor all state just can't figure it out There's this amazing moment where the nurse comes in and she's I checked. He's negative for lung bacteria The doctor goes check again. She says I did Well, then it would have been better for you to say I checked twice Karen. I

Don't I mean I don't feel like even theoretically One's lungs can be free of bacteria can they in a living person, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know lungs. All right, so you're scientists or nerds, you don't know anything. Thoughts and prayers, fuck me. Be me outside for a prey off nerds. Ready, go. I'm shitting. I wish came true.

So, I'm alright. My head explodes. Call back. How was AACon? I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. It was weird. Remember Bud Dwyer? So, thank you for the Bud Dwyer. One guy, our Bud Dwyer guy. Meet us after the show. We got some deep cuts for you.

All right, so Dr. Allstate is amazed, right? Like, John is recovering too well. So he has to take Mama, Sidon, say, look, I'm a doctor. I know all the doctor's stuff. This was definitely Jesus. Yep. Had to have been Jesus. You remember I'm the number one ranked doctor.

Yes. Yeah. In Missouri. In Missouri. So. All right, now the whole school shows up because they're all excited that John's okay. Even his little crush is there. All right, now the whole school shows up because they're all excited that John's okay, even

his little crush is there. And at this point, all my notes are, do we have to watch him live the rest of his life? Now I would like the move to be over. Well, okay, so my favorite part of this is that like all the friends show up and then they part and the little crush girl is standing in the back after they have the crowd parts and she walks forward. So they had to like, they had to do blocking on this, right? She's like, okay, now you guys kind of feel in the middle

and I will come in, I'll do a little sexy hair flip, and then that's, that'll be your cue to split apart. So that happens. I'm 12 and sexy. I wanted them to be confused about who his crush was and so two girls are standing there just like Oh you thought it was you Well then of course this is a Christian movie so they have a nice romantic side hug, right?

So now we cut to two weeks later because yes Eli we do have to watch him live the rest of his life out. And I want to point out okay, he's getting out of the hospital two weeks later. That means he wasn't fine. Right, it means God did like 12% of the job. Right? The God just turned to the doctors. He's like, you guys got it from here. He just spent 13 more days rubbing it in. I sure am great. I'm gonna walk through the ice to you one more time. Look at all these corpses. Now My EMT's get it

So I didn't make the world. You do though. You do. You get it. Alright, so now somehow this movie's still not over. We've got to go back to school with him and there's this amazing moment. Okay, this is my favorite moment in the film. So he's talking to the teacher and he's like, yeah, she's like, I'm sure glad you're back, John. And he's like, oh, thanks.

Missed teacher lady. And she's like, oh, John, just one quick thing. Yes. What's that? Why did your God kill my husband? Oh, that is, that is this much exaggeration. Okay. He goes, he goes, she said to teach your turns to the 14 year old boy and says, Why do you think God lets some live and others die? Like, my husband died. Yeah, probably gay. I don't know. Actually that explains a lot now.

That explains. Never mind. Just by you get an A shut up. If you're wondering what the answer is, it's. Yeah, right. Where were those jeans? Yeah, jingle. Yeah.

So. All right, so but now he's kind of freaking out. You know, he's having a survivor skilled and everything. So he goes to run off from school. The bully kid is waiting for him outside. I love bully kids like, hey, survivor man. What's going on, Mr. Life? I hear you're alive.

Yeah. You could do better than that. You're not a very good bully. Liver, liver, chicken dinner. Doesn't even rhyme. Doesn't even rhyme. Life cereal. Doesn't all. No. Mikey, he likes to live. You're really stretching it. Smile. You've got consciousness. You should beat me up. So, so,

so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, mustered some money. Do we make fun of French's mustard enough when I sang their jingle? Fucking French's mustard, am I right? There you go, satire fixed it. Fuck you French's mustard, we're sponsored by dumbtoms. Dumtoms, the lollipop that knows it all goes black Allogen free since 1902 dumb dumbs catch it The official Before Someone at dumb dumbs on Tuesday morning is gonna be like there we came up on Google we came up on Google

They wake up. Wake up. Someone mentioned it. I wish you'd live to see the day. When your boy had a dream about an allergen free taste the little ony pop dead child All right, so John bikes away from school He goes to the scene of the crime and who should he see there but Luke fucking cage now There is supposed to be this impactful conversation that they have here that they're the son and the firefighter

But the writers didn't have it in them. So it's just a lot of like, hey, thanks for saving me. He's like, yeah, you know, whatever with one catch, because he puts so much pressure on this kid. He goes, yeah, I don't know why God saved you. I bet you're gonna turn out to be pretty special and amazing, John. You think so? Happy 12th birthday. Yeah.

Yeah, he goes, he goes, I bet God has special plans for you. He's like, no, there's a breakfast club at the close. I go into the ministry, so that's less than useless. You know what? I'm going to try to walk on this water right now. Let's do this. You just fall for the space. Oh.

All right. That was on me. The only one I see you have your heart pwn, right? Nope. I didn't bring the sabbist day. All right. But before we can get out of this movie all together, we need to spend another moment at Tofer's Church, right? Do we? Apparently we do. And you said we could have five minutes early, I guess?

Fuck. Yeah. I hate this movie so much. Oh, it's really fucking bad. So yeah, so to for Grace is in the church and he's like, we've got something very special for you today. One of our kids almost drowned in this church and it saves me the trouble of doing a whole big bachelor analogy.

This is pretty easy for me. Actually, why don't you guys just come up here and tell them all about God. I'd like to exploit this coma survivor for money right now. Yes. Yes. Starting. Yes. Now, come on out family.

Hi everybody. These small statistical nominees are really our bread and butter. Get on up. Get on up. John, we have a special surprise for you. our bread and butter. Get on up! Oh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You have no idea what it took to get these corpses and then okay So wait there's this amazing moment who walks around and I see you So there's this amazing moment though where this movie almost gets it right Right so tofers in the church and he's like, uh, you know, John I wanted you to meet some of the people that helped you to survive

So so will all the firefighters in the crowd please stand up and like nine firefighters stand up? He's like, and will all the other, the EMTs that help John please stand up, punch a EMT stand up. He's like, and will all the doctors in such and such hospital and all the doctors in this other hospital all stand up and everybody stands up and I'm like, all right, well, at least they're recognizing all the important people who played a role. He's like, now will everyone who pray also stand up, you did

just as much. But there is a silver lining to this moment, which is that one guy in the church does not stand up. Just put on his fucking bag of hat. He's like fuck that Mexican. Hero among men is center frame in this 11 million dollar budget movie. Just couldn't be bothered. Good luck. Get her done It was he mclovin boo Who prayers he mclovin?

Give it up for him a glovin one more time. Oh, oh, you got All right, and then final scene we have to see him playing basketball one more time so that we can learn that while he was in a coma He learned to be a less greedy basketball player. He learned to pass directly. Incorrectly. Incorrectly. Yeah. It's so amazing. This is the final scene. They're so excited about it. It's supposed to be the big win. He passes the ball instead of shooting. But, but he fucking travels. Very clearly. He go, he jumps to shoot. Lands.

You're not allowed to do that in case. And then the passes. And then nine minutes later, he passes the ball. It's so good. It's supposed to be the big win, but it's really a goddamn turnover. It is, it's religion and a nutshell. So perfect. Idiots. But I think the most important thing that we learn from this movie is that somewhere out there in Missouri, there's a diabetic lady that can pray children back to life and doesn't. So, yes, exactly, exactly.

Fuck this guy, I said this guy, I said this guy, I, this guy gets it. You would say. So, okay, but now I don't want to just assume she's evil, so to close, I would like your theories on why she doesn't use that power for good. Oh, she learned it by watching God. She's exclusively a waterbender. And we're taking a break from the live show for just a...no, why do you sound like that? I wasn't shouting down a street preacher with a bullhorn today, on you work.

That's what you did despite the video evidence. Anyway, that does it for our review and breakthrough, but that's not gonna do it for the episode just yet, because we still need to entice you back for next week. So Eli, tell us. What's on deck? Thank you, Tom, Wade. It's really watching.

The fool. Oh, great to make come for a movie. The one that we had the invite to that we turned out. The movie watching the fool. Oh great, the rate comfort movie, the one that we had the invite to that we turned out for very good reasons. All right, so without a look forward to it, we're gonna bring episode 192 to a immersive close. What is again a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show go?

Oh, Jesus, just let me do it. You sound like share after she dies. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash godawful and thereby earn an early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help us out a ton by leaving a five star review on iTunes and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the scathing atheist

citation needed, and the scepticrat available on iTunes, Stitcher, and wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email them to gotawful movies at gmail.com, legal services for this podcast are provided by the law offices of P. Andrew Torres and you know he regrets it. Tim Robertson takes care of our social media, our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotek, Vivald Giraffes on Mars, all of the music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and wasd used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen, right?

No illusions? Ami Lai Bosnik, promising to work hard, earn a dunk next week. Until then, we'll return to Cincinnati for the Breakfast Club Clothes. William Barr is a liar. That one Christian dude that was in the elevator with me and 11 other conference attendees was extraordinarily uncomfortable. Terrified! Ray Comfort knows this happened.

Thank you so much, Bimbo! How many people saw this movie, by the way? Good, good, yeah. Glad that was just a smattering of applause. I feel, I feel so, people always walk up and to me before the live show is in the, they say, we just watched the movie, I feel so terrible about that. It's like that is not required viewing folks. This movie has like $10 million a profit already I think. Oh, shut up.

Okay, we're not even through the opening. We can, hey Eli, are you going to have pants on when you okay good? There he is. All right. I pitched the merch. Well done. Did you hear? Yeah, no, they can look as good as you look right now, Eli.

Yeah, it's a sad day when you look in a mirror and you're like, I'm a little fat to play Ray Comfort. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha This is my room for that joke, thank you. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on a Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2019, all rights reserved.