God Awful Movies - 196: Gam196 Alien Intrusion: Unmasking a Deception

Episode Date: May 21, 2019

This week, guest masochists Thomas and Aaron from the Philosophers in Space podcast join us to talk about alien abduction, and whether or not that thing the aliens keep sticking in people's butts might be a demon penis. --- Check out Philosophers in Space here: https://0gphilosophy.libsyn.com/ --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

If you hit a raisin on your way through an educational channel, fuck with her! Why is there a space raisin in this example? There are so many things that actually would exist in space. Racins aren't that one. And this is where I have the note, like, I get it. There's no aliens. You had me. And 45 minutes ago what

are we still and furthermore there wouldn't be any place to go to the bathroom on the spaceship what yeah I know that I've already with you Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be be unable to join us this week has nothing to do with his eyebrows. Don't ask him about them, but sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? Um, move over M night. Shumalan. There's a new king in the twist. That's how I, that is how I fucking am. Yeah. Yeah. Boy, I'll tell you what, you could never tell how a sentence was going to end based on just how it began in this movie. Well, we'll get to that. Of course, no one person can fill Heath's shoes. So we brought along two gas massacres today.

Thomas and Aaron are the co-hosts of the philosophers and space podcasts because Aaron is a philosophy guy and Thomas is on all the podcasts that there are. Thomas Aaron, welcome back. Oh, thanks for having me and us. And I just, I, it was, I have to be on all podcasts. So that's why I know exactly. Exactly. Having Aaron and then contract recognizing contractually that I also have to be here. It's, it's written into the technology of the RSS feed. It's really bizarre. It's just

iTunes just feeds him in. It's. Yeah. Alexa for podcasts. All right, so tell us Thomas, what will we be breaking down today? We will be breaking down. I don't know. Like honestly, I don't,

it's called alien intrusion and I went into this pretty dark, you know, cause yeah, I do what I'm told when I come on, Gammie, you on gam you say oh this is the movie I watch the movie. So you had no idea. Oh yeah I was like I don't what what is there's a Christian something it really you're right about them night channel and thing like I really wasn't sure I for a second you're like oh is this a skeptic thing to bunking aliens and they went when is is the Christian tie-in? But, uh, but yeah, alien intrusion, which is a, uh, like that, you know, that meme that set that alien history channel guy, it's that if he were a Christian and a movie, and that's it, I think.

I think you basically summed it up as well as it could be summed up with, uh, just the first couple of words there. Okay, so Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love Ouija boards and the ex files, you're getting raped by demons. That's what this movie is fucking about. And that is how bad it is. Yep. Just now we're all on the same page. And Aaron, I gave everybody else a chance to talk. I feel like I should have a question here for you, but the formula only has two. So how you feeling? Um, yeah, I should have a witty response.

Shouldn't I? I'm great. Uh, I roll around in episodes of being reasonable like it's catnip. So this is pretty much my city. All right. You're ready. This was like a five for me again. I mean, I love that you guys are always throwing crazy.

You shouldn't be, but after laws of eternity, this, I was in control over the course of this when I felt like. I've got to say, look, so this was so bizarre. Before we started recording, it was just me and Aaron on the line and he goes, like, I was hoping it was going to be a little crazier. I'm like, how? How?

How are my dials are all broke? My biggest question over the course of this movie was like, which one of you is going to intrusion me first? Is it like, it's one of the time thing or are we going to like do a space train or like? All right. Well, we'll talk more about that after the record. But before we get to that, is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at?

I'm going to go with best worst skepticism because, yeah, Tom has hinted at this already. The first, I want to say, half of this movie are common sense, well thought out skeptical arguments against alien abductions and UFO allergy with just the teeniest, the tiniest bit of bullshit sprinkled in. We'll get to it. Yeah. The second half was something else entirely. Yes.

I want to go best worst Halo two cut scenes, I guess. Oh, yeah. Yeah. One more, if you don't mind pardon the two, but I would also say best worst people who don't know they were actually molested by their parents. There's like, you have enough of them where you're like, no, that wasn't alien. God. That's really it.

That's good. It's really sad when you start thinking about this one. It really is. It's unfortunate, but it's also like, what is happening? Absolutely. Yeah, for me, this was best worst teaser for a movie that I'll just never, ever get to see. Like, this was an hour and 40 minute promo for a horrifying space opera about some really

creepy shit. And I'm never going to get to see any of it because they blew all of the budget, as Thomas said, on some Halo 2 cutscenes and like some rip offs from some other better movies that we'll get to. So yeah, like, I would have loved to have gotten the back story to all of this, but this is really just like, it just like walk like other sequels. Do we know? Is there like a spin off series? I know one thing is that if we can talk to people listening into funding it, I will absolutely make interdimensional alien demon ass rapers the movie.

Yeah, I can make that happen. Awesome. Awesome. I'm in. And I found it on the dark web. Oh. All right. So I was going to go with best worst credentials.

Yeah. All right, so I was gonna go with best worst credentials. Yeah. So like we have the series of experts that they trot out over and over again in this movie. And like if you listen and for, if you're not listening for it, you know, it sounds like they're introducing somebody with some type of credentials. But if you're actually listening to it, it's like executive director of the thing he made up. Right?

Creationologist at the space. Museum. I have been, I've been playing it way too conservative on my CV is what I learned from this. Amen, brother. I really need to branch out. I learned a whole bunch of other shit I can bill myself as to make this move. You're totally right.

And they had one that was literally like a dot, dot, dot where they like it started. And he has been shared in over 20 publications of other UFO research. Yeah. The voiceover guy was like, oh, I thought it was going to be a good thing, but there is more. That was just the end of the line. There was no, I assume there was a period there. All right. Well, tell you what, we've got a small novel worth of notes on this movie. So we're going to keep the break brief. And when we come back, we'll dive into all the surprise their for's that are alien intrusion unmasking a deception. Hey, like, what do you have to? Nothing just getting ready for their court. Cause you know, heath is on vacation again again man he takes a lot of time off huh boy does he and he doesn't even watch the movies watch the movie exactly

what I was good to say so so what's his excuse this time I'm not sure all he put in the work calendar was gone again building a website well why doesn't he just use wicks.com that's what I said with over 500 hundred beautiful templates wicks dot com is the easiest way to make your great idea a reality what did he say nothing he didn't text me back well maybe he was looking for s e o tools and specialized emails wicks has all of that and more that's why one hundred and forty million people

trust wicks to make their website well maybe it was too expensive that's what i thought i mean he did spend a lot of money on those custom shoes with the nickname that he made up for himself he did but you can get started now by going to wicks dot com that's w i x dot com slash podcast and get ten percent off ten percent off that's right wicks dot com slash podcast for 10% off!

Huh, well I couldn't have been that. I guess we'll never know. I guess. You want to help me write his headlines for when he gets back? Sure. Sure we do write his headlines for him. Yes we do. Okay Glorca Nuts, are you ready to explore the vast reaches of space? Yeah! Okay, now we will be traveling millions of miles and our mission could not be more vital.

Hmm, what is it? We're going to go to a planet called Earth and fly around. And... Oh, and a turn really fast sometimes, like, and also maybe pick up some people. Sorry. Sorry. Question. You mean like fly around and share our technology, make peace between worlds, that kind of thing?

No, no, you're putting a lot of words in my mouth. I just sort of like, you know, we'll just fly around and the people we pick up, like scientists, doctors. I've written, no. Rednext and fire over states, drug addicts, maybe. So I just want to say this seems kind of pointless. Well, I mean, we'll say this seems kind of pointless. Well, I mean, we'll put stuff up in their butts.

Oh, okay, yeah, sure. Yeah, me too, I wanna do that. Okay. And we're back for the breakdown. We're gonna open up on some disembodied voices telling us all about spaceships and aliens and stuff. Oh, old timey voices too. Just like ladies and gentlemen, I don't want to sound like an octa-run, but I think there

are aliens in our spaceships. The beeping noises, like, oh God, the aliens have even started a podcast and it's a shivering going off. And Thomas is on it. It's so weird. Thomas is already a guest. Yep. No, no, it's, it's, you know, Andrew taught me about improprietuity throughout the universe.

That's, yeah. All right. So we, we start off with a couple of historic clips of people talking about aliens. And then we open the thing on Sunday, October 30th, 1938, the date of the infamous War of the Worlds broadcast, which we should point out that the story about War of Worlds, about how much people freaked out, is exaggerated, but it's a weird thing when you consider history at the time that someone in 1938 was just like, you guys want to fake an emergency radio broadcast? Yeah. at the time that someone in 1938 was just like, you guys want to fake an emergency radio

broadcast? Yeah. If you've never listened to that, by the way, listen to that fucking broadcast, you'll see why it had people freak in the fuck out. Yeah, I have listened to it, but they did have still have like station breaks and stuff. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but no, it's awesome. It's.

Yeah, and the real history of it, they get completely wrong in this stupid fucking movie, but the real history of it is that almost nobody freaked out. The, you know, only like 2% of the people were listening to it at the time. And most of those people who did like freak out at all just like would call the local radio station to the local newspaper and say, Hey, are there aliens invading earth? No, okay. You know, so people by and large did respond rationally. Right.

And the like major freak out was about the fake freak out. Like they got hundreds of letters because old R great grandmother was like, dear radio, who are you to scan the views and single women? You'll turn my daughter into a spencer. Love. Rosenberg Rosenstein. It is a little weird to when your whole movie is about conning marks through fear of aliens to open with war, describing more of the world.

You're kind of given the game away a little early with your kind of burns more in the world's documentary. A purpose. And this is where I'm taking a look at again, I didn't know what the fuck this thing was. So I'm like, oh, interesting documentary on the world of the world. I love Orson Wells. I will watch it. But then I'm looking at the clock.

This fucking movie is almost two hours long. And they've got this whole, they've got what, 45 minutes where the whole point of it is to establish that, yes, some people believe in aliens. Like you could just say, hey, some people believe in aliens. I don just say hey, some people believe in aliens I don't need you listen the dawn of time and I do a In-depth look at different times people thought aliens were there, but see okay So there's there's a strategy here actually that you're hitting on which is to kind of low you into thinking you're watching one of those silly Alien documentaries on the history channel and then boom all of a sudden it's like also evolution total bullshit If you believe in evolution you're like this alien people

So I was watching this from a teaching perspective and I was like this is the most padded presentation that I have ever You're gonna circle like especially in the like the intro before the war of the world We get the list of all of the superpowers that the alien ships have and like We get the list of all of the superpowers that the alien ships have. And like, you're going to hear that same list in some form or another 20 times over the rest of this movie. Yes. There's just, you can just see them just stretching the hand stretch motion. Yeah, this was triple space, 25 point font in the movie.

Yeah, the documentary, right? Yeah. And yet still no thesis statement. Like the presentation of War of the World to the beginning of this movie is the closest we get to a thesis from this movie. Well, because they don't want to tell you upfront, they have to ease you into it. Yeah. All right.

And now John Schneider is here. He's not hurting anybody. John Schneider, regular listeners to the show will remember him as the homeless guy who wasn't hurt and anybody in several several of our episodes. Well, now he's what would Jesus do and what would Jesus do? Three fuck the second one. That one doesn't count. It's not canon.

Yeah. And he he's here to stare always at the wrong camera. No, but he it for me. Yes. Well, my theory is that he is fucking all of our wives. And I think he was actually staring at one of our wives. Like this guy is oozing, he is a dill. Like he is, you can tell he's fucking, this guy gets a lot of women. And what is it with

self-important actors who like his asses are like ashes, you know? Wow, alien, Cheva, and the whole movie is coming out of that. So not having nearly as much of y'all's Christian movie background understand why this person was here. My first thought was, oh, it's does discount Richard Dean Anderson with a guy theory haircut. And I'm like, why are you here except to try to remind people of a better version of aliens coming to Earth, right? And then he explains that he's from Smallville, which I remember is the movie with or the show with the sexy cult lady, right? So I assume that's the tie in, like that. Well, and he's also the dude from Duke's of Hazard, right?

He's the blonde duke, right? And for those are wondering when Anna left the room, it was now she said, oh, Mr. Superman and got up and left the room. Yeah, he's, I love that that's such a great stretch for credibility. He comes on and he's like, I know all about aliens played one once in a little show that you might have heard of called a small bill played to rel father of Superman. No big do. And they're doing the best they can to back him up with some math equations on the wall behind him. Well, I will say that I was super impressed because they were relevant math equations

like today. The one was the Drake equation and one was the formula for time dilation. I didn't recognize the other ones, but those were actually relevant to what some of the stuff they were going to talk about. I was super impressed that they were actual equations at all, really. Sure. And I would give Mr. CW a ham sandwich if he could explain any of the equations. Yeah.

Sure. you a ham sandwich, if you could explain any of the equations. But we're not going to go in one. But sure. And we already, it's going to be hard because there's no fucking rhyme or reason to this. It's going to be hard to keep track of what meaningless backdrop is behind what exact fit nothing that people are saying. But like at a certain point during this first bit, we get a couple of our Halo two level cutscenes. And one is like in the future, we will jump out of spaceships for no reason. Like talking about the future. And then a guy just leaps

out of it, but there's no rhyme or reason that. And then there's another one where they're talking about like, oh, yeah, futuristic alien worlds. And they've got flying cars. Here, I love this. Flying cars on the salient planet, but like they fly right next to each other going the opposite direction. Yeah, that's it. The whole point of flying cars. They're like, you could open it up a little bit.

Maybe, you know, there's nothing but room up there. Nothing, maybe, maybe fly on different levels if you're going different direction. Nope, they just took a street and moved it up like 15 feet and there's other stuff to be constant alien head on head. Yeah, right. No, you want traffic. You don't want to get rid of the traffic. And then we get one of my, one of the credentials that I love that this was my first one and probably my favorite Gary Bates will be basically our Sherpa up Mount Bullshit. And when they introduce him, they say he has an Amazon best selling book.

Now, I'm not going to say that's an easy accomplishment to have or anything, but so do I. Right. Like that's the level of celebrity you need. Oh, the best. I have that note to you. Like in his Amazon best selling paperclip together a pile of documents that does, you know, like the picture is like clearly like some, some diddoes that your teacher made and like put together for the class. You know, it's so awesome. Gary Bates, aka the surrogate father figure from six feet under who looks like he would quietly refer to aliens as boat people, but he'd like look around before he did. And okay, so Gary Bates is here to just shoot us out of credibility three seconds in, right?

Because he talks about his research on the world, the world's broadcast, everything he says is incorrect. He talks about Percival Lowell and his Martian canals. He gets that wrong too. Yeah, it's amazing. It's like if you hit Michael Marshall on the back of the head really hard seven times and you were like, do a fucking TED talk. That's his movie.

He's just like, hello, everyone, Yos. How many audiences are there? Is it three? He's not the only dark version of Marsh in this movie, either. This is like, all of the, this is like a Marsh made that's movie with a lot of multiple personalities and it's just like all the creepy versions of Marsh in this movie either. This is like all of the, like, this is like a Marsh made that's movie with a multiple personalities and it's just like all the creepy versions of Marsh just coming out of the works. Or if Marsh was the star of multiplicity starring Michael Keaton. Exactly. That fantastic romantic comedy that used as a comedic

foil that if you make a copy of a copy, it becomes mentally challenge. Yeah, it was a real movie. Look it up everybody. The past 80s weren't great. That was the 90s. Oh, God, Jesus, I was hoping to push it back a little further from now. Not these weren't great. No, the movie a little more abusive in this movie. Yeah.

All right, so now we're going to talk about science fiction for a little bit. Yeah. That could be any part of this movie. Yeah. All right, so now we're going to talk about science fiction for a little bit. Yeah. That could be any part of this movie. I don't know what the three more specific. Yeah. Now there's aliens, I think. I don't know.

Premise one of this movie. People believe a bunch of shit without evidence. Boom. Yeah. Firm ground. It's get past two boobless hours, but I just being like aliens. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

So, okay, but our expert on science fiction as a genre here, this is Dr. Jonathan Sarpati. He's a spectroscopist for creation, ministries, international. So you know, he knows this shit. And in case you're doubting his sci-fi cred, by the way, he's seen every episode of Star Wars. Yeah. Look, I'm a big fan of the television. What? Come on. He said Star Wars, not Star Trek.

Right. No, he said, but he said, I've seen every episode of Star Trek and Star Wars. If he said, I've seen every episode of the Big Bang theory and the Godfather. That doesn't make sense. Have you seen Babylon 5? Come on. How serious are you about this? Exactly. As those sci-fi credits familiarity with Star Wars and Star Trek, never mind that he fucks that up, right? Yeah.

They're weird parts to this where they, like you were saying early, like they use these scientifically accurate arguments and it just feels like you've got a dog that you know is house broken, but it still chooses to pee on the couch. You just like, I love you. Fuck you during the price. My summary of this movie is like if philosophers in space had a patron who turned out to be a goddamn crazy person, but like they pledged at the 175,000 dollar level. So you let them on the show for two hours. Okay. The resulting episode would be this movie. That's 100%

true. And we are willing at the lot of things that happen for you to call in that. Piping that into 100. Patreon.com. So it's your day. All right, so we're editing hold on. Let me edit the whole on the Patreon. I was like, you know, I'd probably do it for 100,000 though. Do we even make tree on a whistle do that thing? I love to when they're like, the scientific law of causality and you're like, that's not

actually. It's not a scientific law. I messaged Jeremiah Trigger, do y'all talk this way? I mean, I know I talk this way because I'm a freak, but like y'all deal with real things. Would you use these words? You know, is another thing that's great here is one of them, I think it's him, if I'm on the right guy,

he says, if there's no big bang theory, which he disproved by nothing, by the standard, you know, like, oh, what caused the dad? Yeah. He says, if there's no big bang theory, there's disproved by nothing, by the standard, you know, like, oh, what caused the dad? Yeah. He says, if there's no big bang theory, there's no alien life. Yeah. And that's the context. What did all of the movie before this?

Because they already talked about how plenty of beliefs and aliens predated the knowledge of the big bang theory. Like it doesn't, what is the, huh? Well, perhaps contradicted yourself. Dr. Robert Carter,'s real actual scientists biologist for creation ministries international cannot can shed some light on this you see evolution is crap it's a low to shit there was just the one creation like it said in the bible seven days and to defend this by the way he says if life evolved on earth, it's speculated that

it would have evolved over and over millions of times. Because you know, anything that happened once must have happened millions of times. It's like when Dr. Robert Carter has his mom's vagina around his head, has to happen several times in order for it to happen once, right? Yeah. This is where I set my Fermi paradox egg timer and it's going to be like half an hour before that sucker goes off. I was like, if you bastards go with this whole movie without naming this thing, but no,

what they're going to do is they're going to pre-set up all of the responses to it and then drop the terminology. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's the Fermi Paradox via your brother's drug dealer when you first start buying pot. Really? No, no, no. I'll give you the bag in a second, man. Sit on my couch and next to my teenage girlfriend, what is every alien made a baby and sent

it to the moon? I'm getting ahead of ourselves. Sorry. Wait, Eli, you're just talking about Joe Rogan. I have. Sorry. He's probably, actually, his brother buys his weed from Joe Rogan. I think Joe Rogan could have been on this. Well, we do get a dehydrated version of Joe Rogan later in the movie. This is where we also get one of my favorite quotes in the whole movie

where Sephardi says, quantum physics is actually a field I studied for my PhD, which is like, which is, which is a, a G bar level kind of weird. Yeah, that's right. If you legal reasons, you were not allowed to say you are a quantum physicist. Like, did you get kicked out of a collider at some point? It's right. It's right. It's right.

It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. a collider. It's not why you call him a collider. Exactly. Thank you.

But yeah, but that's such a clever little thing. Again, great little thing to add to your CV because my sister on her way to a PhD in history took some classes in physics, right? So yeah, she's studying quantum physics on her way to a PhD. Sure. Why not? Yeah. This guy's stick is basically the cosmological argument combined with quantum hand waving,

which is really just like a scatons and Torm sandwich for philosophy. But also, but, but honestly, he even fucks that up because it's not even a mix of the two. It's a little quantum hand waving and then the column cosmological argument verbatim. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So yeah, and then he gets to his conclusion, which is apparently without the big bang, there can't be aliens where the fuck is this coming from? Yeah, especially when act three is interdimensional aliens, I feel like

first I'm in this movie where they really contradict themselves. All right. So now the biologist guy gives us the extra terrestrial hypothesis about our alien visitor friends. Is this the beginning of our putting on the screen, uh, like obscure polls that say in saying crap that can't possibly be represented? Yeah. Yeah. Uh, In a 1997 time magazine, also my daughter's lemonade stand, Paul, said that 80% of people believe aliens are real and that my dick is super big. Definitely. Yeah, no, the top line of this one was just so unbelievable that I'm calling bullshit. 80% of people think that Donald Trump has avoided tweeting about the aliens that he found out about.

That is fucking impossible. I, I, I sooner believe that aliens walked here from Alpha Centauri, believe that Donald Trump kept that secret. Well, keep in mind, this poll is from 97, right? Like they could have gotten more recent numbers and they chose not to. So, yeah, it's like a 997 poll from my table at the diner in Roswell, that has the alien like on top of it. Like that's what the poll is. There's no fucking way. I looked myself right in the mirror and I said, what percentage of you think alien is

a real? And he still couldn't get you 100. It was still like 80. This is also the part where I start to realize that they're going to like, they're attacking this theory and that like, I thought you all have had me back on for some more fun chariot of the gods, but this is in fact the opposite because you all ruin everything with Jesus. Like you can't even have fun aliens. Yeah, I'm like, oh, these are, some of these are good arguments for why aliens aren't real,

but like what? I don't know what I'm arguing, but I also have to say, okay, are we on Edmund North yet? That's the note I have. Are we on the Edmund H North quote? Because this is not a best worst. This is a best best. I have to say this is a solid compliment to this film. They have the best best readers of quotes from people who are dead or whatever.

They've got something hired, some poor out of work voice actor or something who decided like he was going to research into every bit of minutia about the particular accent and time period of every single person he reads because the one for Edmine H. North is like a civil war letter. He's like talking about how, what was it? It was the movie, the day the earth did still or whatever. It's a quote about how like, there's Jesusy stuff in there and the quote is something like, oh, that was just my private little joke. I never, and like, it's a meaningless quote. None of it makes any sense. I have no idea why it's in the movie. But like the voice actor is like, it was my private little joke.

Angle. I hope the Christ comparison would be so familiar. You have to listen. I want to make a super cut of just the people reading the quotes. It's incredible. It spans countries time periods. It's amazing. Some of it's racist, it's really impressive. In this particular case, it does a great job covering for the fact that all he's saying is, hey, have you noticed that like some movies have hero narratives or like a style? Kind of makes you think, don't it? Yeah. Yeah, right, right.

Exactly. Like, save yours show up in stories sometimes. Hmm, almost like Jesus is real. What? Camera cuts over to Joseph Campbell smoking a cigarette. What? What? What?

I wasn't even ready. You guys are doing my thing. You're doing my thing. Something about Jews. What? Oh, I wasn't ready. Is this documentary just occasionally cut to Joseph Campbell on the toilet, not ready.

Get out of here. Get out. Midwife. Yeah, but the logic of this movie, Doctor Who is Jesus. That's, that's the story. Absolutely. And we also get them a bunch of times in this little section. They keep referring to, yes, he belief in extraterrestrial life is widespread.

It's constant. It's constant. It's everywhere. And every quote they give is somebody saying, well, imagine if there were aliens, that'd be weird, huh? It's like Reagan. It's like different presidents having said, well, how small would we, what are petty differences feel if there are aliens? And they keep saying, yeah, look, he believes in aliens.

It's like practically an abductee. Oh, they capture one of Reagan's most beandering and worse. I look, look up aliens, Reagan's speech on you. You have to watch this speech because it's him going, y'all seem real mad about a ran contra. But what if him out there was an alien spook? Then you all wouldn't be mad at me. Google Ronald Reagan signature.

I love that Ronald Reagan has exactly the same voices, Donald Trump and your impressions. Why did they have the same plan? The same plan as Ozomandias from Watchmen. He's just stoned off the Andias up there. Yep. All right. So then, yeah, but they talk about how mainstream belief in aliens are. And then John Schneider steps back in to say, but how do we know that these totally legit spaceship sightings that we all can believe are real? Because look, there's video are of aliens. Right. Yeah. And this is the part where they're going to try to step up and steal, but UFOologists,

I guess, like by pointing out how trendy the aliens are, they just kind of keep up with popular culture a lot, and therefore are real. Like, exactly. It leads them to conclude the opposite of what that would lead you to conclude. Yes. Yeah. And like, there's a certain point where they show this footage and it's like the shittiest look in UFO you've ever seen. And the subhead thing is like Mexico City Sighting, 1997.

Still unexplained. Yes. And it's like they might have well have shown a clip from Alf and been like Alf. Still. going to clip from Alth and been like Alth still. That's a big fair. There are a lot of any good questions about Alth. Yeah, I think that's just a camera tricks. I don't really think. All right.

And then, okay, now we're going to be probably my favorite presenter in the thing or maybe my second favorite presenter. He is Joseph Jordan. I have him down as, you know, it's like Pond Stars body double through most of my notes. This is the guy that works for Mufon. He's been doing this UFO shit for 20 years so you can tell he's not a loser. Is he the guy that's Jack from Twitter?

Yep. Jack from Twitter, okay, got it. Yeah, he's the one who's been cited over 20 times by other UFO researchers. By other people, I assume, in the Mufon organizations. Yeah, man. He's also the director for their South Korean wing, which contains him. Yeah.

Basically set it up like these are the best of the best of the best with honors. Sure. Yeah. Really. It's the South Korean department. South Korean, what do you call it when it's like the a bureau? Yeah, the national director for South Korea. And what's amazing is this guy introduces himself by being like, look, according to the statistics, 20 million people have seen a UFO, four million people have been abducted now that is bullshit the hundreds of people who saw things they couldn't explain yet so

he says i've been they have interviewed people that have seen things they cannot explain i'm like look to i've interviewed people can't explain the fucking book they wrote that i'm unimpressed. The weirdest thing happens here because again, I didn't know where the fuck this was going. I was like, I don't, we're debunking aliens, but then not. Then we're also like, no, but also there are, I had no fucking idea. I didn't know when I was going to be, you know, Jesus at, but then they do the weirdest thing because they show this quote of the, the guy, I think it's the French guy that was inspiration

for the close encounters of third kind movie. And he said, the quote is, I'll be disappointed if UFOs turn out to just be visitors from another planet because I think they could be much more interesting. I'm like, wait, so this guy just trying to move the over 10 window on UFOs, like just to assume the conclusion, like, oh, well, there's definitely UFOs, but it might be wizards or some shit. I don't know. Let's do it, you know, UFOs,

we know are they wizards or are they Jesus? Let's debate, that's the debate. That's the question. He's not over trying to outwoke aliens basically. And this is the part where we're getting, like, there are a argument from closing counters of the third kind being a movie, right? And I just wonder if by this same argument, like if we made a movie about a golem coming

to life and just like punching Richard Spencer, and I consulted some Jews like Eli in the process, would that make golems real by the argument of this movie like? I mean, I know, I know a Tennessee judge who would go see that movie. Yeah. Only one way to find out. Crazy billionaire. Patreon.com. Yeah. All right. So then we, okay, so we're going to cut back to Gary Bates. And again, Gary Bates is sort of like, he's the producer, I think of this movie, the writer, whatever. He's the main. He's the director too. He's pretty much everything. That's why the credits were so short. That's the most disappointing thing about this fucking movie, right? An hour and 47 minutes. The whole time you're thinking to yourself, like some of that's got to be credits, though, right?

So that explains it because my entire question, my question for this entire movie was, why is your movie a dude being interviewed by somebody else that wasn't your movie? You know, it's like if I, if it's like if I made them like Barack Obama, the movie, and then all the clips are Obama being interviewed by David Letterman and like, I guess it makes sense if he made is the guy. I didn't know that. I was like, what?

You're just using someone else's show. It seems like a move that the Nash would pull. Yeah. Well, the other thing too is that he's trying to show how legit he is. He's been interviewed on Australian TV people. Oh, wow. I'm sorry. Do you think they just let anybody on the nat chat?

No, they fucking do. You have to sign up just like everyone else at that point in my television program. All right. So and this is also where we start to at least hint at the fact that some people don't think these UFOs are aliens at all. They think they're interdimensional. Yeah. And they say I want to pretty precisely quote here because they're from another world or

another dimension. And it's just're from another world or another dimension. And it's just like, we're not from a dimension. Like we don't have a dimension F. Like no, that we live in third dimension. We're in the third dimension. We're height. We live in three dimensions. What is another dimension that you're from? Like, come across people from the width dimension from time to time?

Yeah, I think they mean a universe. And I'm still confused at this point, obviously, because there's no thesis statements. So I'm like, no. So we're going to do inter-dimensional aliens instead of aliens from the Big Bang. But it's not like inter-dimension doesn't violate the laws of known science any more or less than anything else that was being described about space travel. Like, I mean, if you're trying to explain the multiverse, the big bang super useful, yeah. And like, it's going to be much easier to traverse space than traverse universes.

Right. The whole thing is to explain, well, if it's impossible, if it's impossible to travel that far, how are they here? Because the science says you can't do it. Solution, they're in a dimension so they can just do like a zipper and through the zipper and then they're here. Right. Over and over again, they say it can't be aliens because faster than light travel would

take too much energy. So they go through dimensions, which as we know is fairly energy neutral. It's easy. Yeah. But also do it all the time. Yeah. Well, I'm getting, in fact, I need to go to the store. I'm just going to hop through the dimension. Yeah. No, I've traveled from the third dimension to the second dimension. Once I got downstairs, it was crazy. But what I really love here too is that they even do this wrong because they're constantly when they're talking about these, the distances, the aliens would have to travel. They're always talking about intergalactic distances, not interstellar distances.

They switch between the two of them as though those two terms are synonymous. It's like, yeah, it takes you about 10 minutes to get to whole foods and a hundred million years to get to Alpha Centauri if you want. As basically what we're saying is aliens are created by a goat demon who was cast out of heaven. I think you all fall on the same here.

Does that whole bird you got to find parking? Hold on, hold on, he's right. It does take me 10 minutes. Yeah, right, right. Everything he's saying is true. Oh, and then we meet, okay, this is the guy I think was actually just a real scientist that they tricked into this. This is a Dr. Henry Richter who basically just comes in and goes like, yeah, the whole

thing with hyperspace and wormholes, that's kind of silly. Probably not a real thing. So what's my job in this documentary? Oh, you're here to explain that science fiction is in fact fiction. Uh, okay. Yep. Light, light sabers would be hot. You probably couldn't hold them great. Keep going. And when this fits our Bible narrative, we'll tell you this. Uh, uh, Medichorians kind of feel like bullshit. Yeah, too great. Tobacco's from the same planet as the Ewoks. That doesn't make any sense. Later they changed that, but in the novels, I know they say they're non-canonical,

but they keep referencing them. So is the canon that references non-canon, non-canonical? I don't know. You guys said there was craft services. I don't know. You guys said there was craft services. Also, I love this is the space will fuck you up part of the show too. If you hit a raisin on your way through an additional. Fuck with our race. And why is there a space raisin in this example?

There are so many things that actually would exist in space. Racins aren't not one of them. And this is where I have the note, like, I get it. There's no aliens. You had 45 minutes ago. What are we, and furthermore, there wouldn't be any place to go to the bathroom on this spaceship. Like, what?

Yeah, I know. I've already with you. And it wouldn't be so bad if there were some stuff that I want to hear about later with sex demon that's just not gonna get enough coverage That they will just fucking glaze you over buckle. Yeah, I know if their patreon perk is Unfold unedited interview with the rectum guy like I'll sign on. What tier is it? It is monthly, is it per creation? Right.

And by the way, Tom, it's a great job teasing that the rectum guy is coming up later on the show. And that it's not me for once. Yeah, right, right. And finally, instead we're getting the explosion special effects from the raisin twice. There are so many times. By your ball that the spaceship would explode to into an outer space if it encountered the space raisin, yes.

They're super excited about science. Okay, I'm not a scientist and physicists correct me. But like the idea that just because you're going super, super, super, super fast that a raisin would create a nuclear bond, is that real? Or like, I feel like like if you shot a bullet like the fastest thing in the world, but out of piece of paper, it's just going to go through the piece of paper. Is there a speed at which it turns into a nuclear holocaust? I mean, the speed of the impact would have that much energy.

You know, it would have the energy of that. But, you know, I've never shot a raisin at near relativistic speeds at a spaceship. I didn't take raisin sciences in college. Basically, you don't know. They should have spent a lot more time debunking force fields is what needed to happen here. Yeah, well, but, okay, but then they do bring up force fields, right? They're here. Yeah, well, but okay, but then they do bring

up force fields, right? They're like, okay, all right, but you're probably thinking, what if the spaceship has a force? And I love that all of our notes are nope. That is not what you're thinking. We're still stuck on the raisin, but carry on. Who dropped us, filled all these fucking raisins like that? The last guys to make the interstellar jump, like just had to open thing of raisins, they spilled them everywhere. We ruined it for the entire universe.

Yeah, right. It'd be great if there was like an ancient race that just decided to fuck everyone over by sowing the entire universe with raisins. Just like, ah, no space travel for anyone. They'll never follow us now. The Fermi Paradox is solved. And is it me or do they have to concede the argument from you don't know, therefore it's

not impossible because they're all Christians as a movie, right? Everyone goes round robbing that they've interviewed so far going, but I don't know so it is 50, 50 and that's how I believe things about the universe. Yeah. There appears to be a rule that Marcia taught me among his conspiracy theorists that everyone has to respect the possibility of everyone else's bullshit theory. Even though they're totally incompatible, we all just do a gentleman's bow and say, oh, it could be either flat or cylindrical. Who knows? Yep. Yeah. All right. So, but, but you're probably wondering to yourself, well, what are the implications of that the space raisin has on evolution? It

turns out that evolution also is bullshit because that is required to disprove alien abduction scenarios too. Again, this movie is constantly getting you. It's like, I mean, look, it would take a tremendous amount of technology that we have no concept of to travel across galaxies. Also, where there are monkeys everywhere, where would they be all gone? Come on. Two common sense arguments against aliens, am I right? This is where we get the pan's Burmy argument as well, right? Yes. Which is by far. Yes. Are we on that? Oh,

pan per me is my favorite porn title of all time. I'm just going to start off with that. This guy, I want this clip of him going pan spurmy or seeds from space. No, no, that is not. He's just, he goes, it means almost literally seeds from everywhere. I'm like, it means sperm from everywhere, bro. You can say it. It's already in the net. And then they do another, oh my, then they do the best. And I know what you're thinking, like similar to the one you just did, except it's even

worse and they spend even more time on it. They go, and I know what you're thinking. Why couldn't the aliens have just hand delivered? Yes, what? The alien life juiced to every planet. And you're like, no, that's not what I was thinking. In fact, that sounds harder than whatever the last thing was. I'm sorry, Thomas, I'm having trouble with this concept.

Is there any kind of visual aid that you could give me? Yeah, exactly. Then they proceed, well, fortunately, my son has whipped up a 10 minute admission on this thing you never asked and makes no fucking sense of an alien landing somewhere, walking a fucking picture of life Jews to pour to a pond that he couldn't have just landed at. By the way, I had to land like 30 yards away from it. So we can see him walk for 15 minutes. Oh, fantastic.

Yeah, my question here was, wouldn't it have just been cheaper to just buy the opening sequence of Prometheus? I mean, like no one is using it at this point. I was really starting up suing you people for this shitty CGI. Although I do have a theory with what happened. Look, can we stop here? Can we stop here's Earthigar? I really have to go. If you can't hold it fine. Seriously? Come on. I have to go. I'll be so quick. I'll be so quick. You better be. We've got like 2 million light years left on this trip. I don't want to stop every 20 minutes.

Millions of years later. Oh, look, look, it's the planet we stopped on on the way here. Can we stop again? I gotta go. Unbelievable. Um, no. Oh, come on, guys, we'll be quick again. No, I mean, there's no space where you stopped at P last time as a 16 line highway. Oh, oops. What did you eat? We're gonna get in so much trouble.

I P organisms. So I think, I guess that could also be it. Okay, so yeah, but they do point out that pan's Permia is not an answer to a biogenesis, because obviously life would have had to begin somewhere else and they don't trust their audience to get that without it being pointed out. We also get another one of those great quote reads that Thomas was talking about. This is the German guy that basically just said spiritual, but not religious people are often also stupid UFO people.

It's the best. People who say they don't go to church but are religious. Don't understand what those words mean. And therefore don't understand other words. Generally, I'm dead now. Yeah. This movie's an hour and a half of regress this boy. I don't know. There's also a Fred Hoyle one. I love when they do this. They quote a scientist and they make clear to say like atheist, Fred Hoyle, atheist.

And then they they cherry pick something that makes it sound like he's saying, of course all of Darwin is debunked. That's all bullshit. And they're like, wait, but he's an atheist. So if he's stupid enough that he's an atheist, but he thinks all of Darwin is debunk, doesn't that undermine his quote? Like, no, I find him to not be convincing. Are you saying that we should listen to what the atheist scientists say or not. Yeah. Exactly. All right, so speaking of atheists, now it's time to talk about Enrico Fermi. Yes.

Fucking finally. Look, there is nothing I love more than people who are as dumb about these pop science concepts as I am, but truly, no one has gotten the Fermi Paradox more wrong than this movie. Look, if there were such things aliens, they would have gone to high school with me. Predrico Fermi, attorney at law. Yeah, they really got to work on intro paragraph. Essentially, is this where they're like, okay, according to the Fermi paradox and they

do a number of nonsense and they say, therefore, there would be an alien in every square inch of this room right now floating in a bath of alien body parts as we see the overpopulation episode of Star Trek. Checkmate Atheus and anti alien or alien pro alien. Who are we debunking at this point? Actually, don't remember. It's a mouth-thusy and affirming. What's amazing, the true version of this is like, look, even if it took a million years to learn space travel because of how long it is, there'd be all these different places exploring, except they don't understand that, so they start at

year zero with the first colony starting at the beginning of time and moving outwards. And because they're doing exponential math at the end, they're like, that's right, there's the 850 quadrillion alien. In fact, your daughter would be an alien. Is your daughter an alien? No. Yeah. Well, it's weird as they leave out about half of the potential solutions to the Fermi paradox in order to make that kind of argument. Yeah.

Like, this, for example, the really important one for this movie would be the solution where the species never gets off planet because they succumbed to stupid religions and climate change. I feel like that really relevant. And even in the context of their own movies, since they've just been all this time talking about how interstellar travel, which they confused with intergalactic travel would be impossible, you don't have to solve the Fermi paradox, right? You've already gotten around that just by being wrong about something else. Right. Well, I think that, and this, in this version of the Fermi

paradox, there's so many aliens that they can actually just stand on each other's shoulders. Oh, I see. Seriously, what did that animation mean? It looked like that. I don't know. This is another situation that we there directly like one theory that they put forward directly contradicts another because they just spent 20 minutes explaining how large space is. So then turning around and saying, you know, in the past 20 minutes that we've been looking at space, we haven't found anything yet. So clearly, we have heard no aliens out there, right? Right. Settigate what you're thinking? What about one really, really big alien who could walk here? Well, there's 10 minutes up. No, they didn't do that. But

for a minute, you thought they did. For a minute, you thought they did. It wouldn't have been out of character. Hey, guys, you weren't sure. He was checking his notes. We did. Yeah. All right. So we're this far out of the movie. We haven't been to Roswell, New checking his notes made the ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha sad ass little museum. Oh my god, the little UFO museum there. They're trying their damnedest to make it look good with camera shots that they're choosing. It is fucking sad. You mean the museum of models of what aliens definitely don't fucking look like? That one. When white snake was playing at the local fair, they left behind a smoke machine. So now we has an alien museum. Roswell in Mexico. Suicide is not illegal here. Roswell in Mexico, Boston beef turkey with a triangle on it. Please make it stop.

The weirdest part of all of that though is how much jelly there is coming off of this movie as they're recording Roswell. Like it looks really shitty. And yet you cut to Gary and it's like, man, fuck these people's cutting into our market shares. This is bulls. Yeah. Yeah. People are walking away from Jesus.

Well, one of them brings up something that I never thought about where they're like, if you live in Roswell, then you give someone your address over the phone every time they say, wait a you do it? It rocks well as in the aliens and I was like, oh my God, I'd kill myself. Just fucking move, just move. And then I realized, wait a minute, if you live anywhere in New Mexico, just move.

Just move out. You can, do you, people know there are other places you can move to? Do they know? Yeah, but when you're that close to Texas, like, are you really thinking it's going to be better? I'm guessing if you're there, you can't afford to move. Let's be honest.

This is where we interview the pastor at Roswell, New Mexico, and you have never seen a sadder grifter try the three-card money when everyone wants to do three-shell game. He's just like, hey, I got a fucking church set up. They tell me all the crazy's they're going to show up all the fucking time. It's going to be great. No, the crazy's they're all over there with the fucking smoke machine. I'm on my own. Got my fucking thumb up my ass over here trying to give people, trying to give people in a small town some hope and meaning that their tiny terrible existence will matter. And then they're over there saying it's

silver, green skinned little men, motherfuckers. We just watch him kick over their mailbox. You know, honestly, this movie really is a turf war between alien conspiracy theories and Christianity. That's really what we're watching. And from here until the end of the movie, you're going to get to listen to American beauty's piano. That's pretty much the soundtrack from here on out for anyone who doesn't get a chance to watch this. Oh, God.

You're going to be thinking about a backspinning for the next 45 minutes. I love to. There's this bit where they cut back to Gary Bates and his interview. And he's like, look, I've even had people tell me Jesus was an advanced alien. Now, I don't want to ridicule those people. I'm like, why would you not want to ridicule those people, dude? He is so concerned with not making fun of people. Every time he has something insane to say,

he's like, look, I don't want to make fun of people because I'll have an Australian accent. And I know, I sound sound like cartoon giraffe, but I'm just saying why a crust of Nazareth was an undead god who sacrificed himself to himself and that's the fix. That's the fix. I don't want to shit on anyone else's world view, but that's the fix. Well, it's it's the reason for all of that is what I eventually figured out that this fucking movie was after a lot of confusion, a lot of confusion.

I eventually figured out this is somebody read like a business textbook, some Christian, didn't they're like, oh, what you need to do is find an extremely specific niche and make sure we have exploited it. I didn't know this was a big market segment, but people who think they were abducted by aliens, we need to make sure they're Christians, so we'll fashion a whole mythology of how it's cool. It's amazing. So at the whole time, he's like, I don't want to ridicule. I want to be very respectful, because he knows he's talking to a bunch of fucking nut cases. Who think that they got raped by aliens? Yeah.

Because the radical centrism of conspiracy theories, he's really. Yeah. Didn't there? Yeah. I agree. Yeah. All right. So now, Pondstar's body double guy is going to tell us the actual story of Roswell.

And he's going to give the official, yeah, it's just a weather balloon and people freak to fuck out story. Right? At the point, I'm like, wait, oh, I agree with you. What the, hold on. There's four minutes of movie where they're like, as you said, the best were skepticism. They're like, yeah, no, here's the thing. It was just a weather balloon.

That's a simple story. I don't know why all these people don't get it. In fact, and one guy even says, you know, they've got to, you know, look at, look at Roswell. They got the, it's in the car dealerships. It's in the restaurant. They're not gonna, they're invested in this. Right. Like, oh my God, please turn that lens to inward just put in the game as little to the

lens into you. My favorite version of this sort of like self-defeated closed-eyed version of skepticism is when the guy goes, yeah, I mean, Area 51 exists. There are more than 50 areas, I don't know. I'm walking such a thin line between crazy and that. Yeah, one point he says, the reality is is when already believes something before you look at the facts or data, it's a form of pre-belief. Let me give you an example.

We're like, buddy, you do not need to give anyone here an example. Let me give, no, let me give you an example. Right. Your example will be the third act, buddy. So they start talking about UFO sightings and what is responsible in a national phenomenon. And at one of certain point, I love it. They say, like, you know, the planet Venus

accounts for 20% of UFO sightings. And for some, I've been watching a lot of the office lately. And I was just imagine, like, I wonder if Venus is managers ever like, okay, we're gonna need this quarter. Can you get that up to 25, 30% of it? You need you to pull your way around. You've been at 20% for a long fucking time,

because you've been at so long time. Yeah, it's a, you know, what have you done for me lately? Time's a little brighter. All right, so now it's time to talk about the Washington, UFO, which apparently they seem to think is one of the best cases of like an unidentified flying object or whatever from 1952, you know, because like what, as video gotten better since then, no, obviously not. So, so John Schneider shows back up to very seriously look into the wrong camera

for a while and tell us about the crazy shit that was going on in 1952 And you get to hear somebody say we've got bogies in the area and I just had a thought of like I regret that I never get to say that don't you ever like I'm at I'm 30 I say that all the time. I'll never get have a job where I get to say we got bogies. We got bogies I'll get to say it. I'll tell you what Thomas, I've got a solution for you. That's our new code for we to the convention is right behind you. We got bogies in the area. It's up to you.

Too late talking about the wage gap and walking away. Walking away, I'm making eye contact as I do it. Had you guys heard of this 1952 thing? I had not. No, I have not. My takeaway was the aliens saw broadcast of Top Gun and like decided they were flying by and that would be fun. Like have we explored a lot that maybe just the aliens are dicking around on vacation?

Like this is just fucking all fucking around for them. I mean, I feel like maybe we are like a designated just fuck with them. Spot like Elias, the king of aliens or something. They're like, you know, it'd be funny though. For one planet, we just pick one planet at random. And then we just fuck with, well, the saddest part of this section is the guy who's like, you know, you're actually the first person to talk to me. Family was there. The guy was there in 1952. first person to talk to me. Ever. Oh. Oh.

Family was there. The guy was there in 1952. It's 2016. He's like, finally. Yes. He's talked to. Yeah. Thank you.

70 years. I've been waiting for so long to say this. And okay, here we go. Don't fuck up your chance, Joseph. Oh, it was aliens. Tudah! I was a little confused why these fuzzy blobs were different than all other fuzzy blobs. I don't have like a special, I love it.

And I looked, because I looked into this and I looked, they do some of the official story here a little bit, but I also was, I was just curious what it was. So I was looking at the Wikipedia a little bit. And I love to, my favorite part about this is that the official story and the people who commented on it are like, yeah, it's like weather or something. I don't know.

And you know why they're like that? Because it's not fucking aliens, because that's stupid. Like they're not concerned. They're like, oh, they never precisely explained. Right. If you can't trust everything you see on 1952 radar, what can you trust really?

But it's so funny, because like sensible people are like, yeah, I don't know, I might have been temperature inversion. And that's the other thing is too, it was only seen on radar. It's not like anything was observed in reality. It's just a radar malfunction. Maybe the radar broke, don't do that Dave. Maybe the radar broke, yeah, maybe, or maybe people flew across several galaxies to bother me at my post. Maybe it's five seconds and then never be heard

from again. That's, they came all this way, 20 bajillion, zillion, million, trillion, billion years, all this way to slightly hover over something for five seconds in the lead. That's, that's, you are fucking up my chance 26 years from now for someone to interview me on a documentary that's actually about Christian propaganda. What if the radio to worse broken? Fuck you. Well, I wonder if that old guy's like, you're the first people to talk to him. Like, that's because we're Christians. We're trying to convert people to Christianity. He's like, oh, fuck this. Oh, damn it.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 26 years. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So now, Steven Spielberg's in the movie. I don't, I feel like he doesn't know that.

No, he sure. The fuck does it. And Spielberg shows up to lend some credence to the whole close encounters thing, right? Because this is some interview he did about close encounters, about the nomenclature of what the various kinds are. And of course, in my notes, I'm like, well, if Steven Spielberg, a man who once moved an entire production crew out of a hotel he thought was haunted, believes this. Yeah, this whole section of the movie and it's a solid 20 minutes is just I bet you didn't know Steven Spielberg was crazy.

And he's about 12 at this point when he's giving this interview. Yeah. He looks like he's sitting sitting on a stack of books. I mean, he's already bald, but yeah, he is 12. You know, and there's a minor thing I just want to quote, this might be something that even some skeptics might disagree with me on, but one guy says, these, all these claims, they are not testable and therefore they're not science. And I just want to emphasize, not true. That's actually a plenty of real science that is not testable. That is an old antiquated science, philosophy of science concept. Yeah, not true. Yeah string theory is not testable yet

But it's interesting science and that's what he's talking about right like this is where they introduced the interdimensional Hypothesis and they're going like I know you're probably thinking string theory. I'm like what made you think? Your audience was wondering about the implications to string theory. I'm like, what made you think that your audience was wondering about the implications to string theory of this, right? But again, it's science via the lens of what Eli thinks string theory is. So it's just like me showing up at a lab with a arm full of strings. All right, let's test this shit out. Find out once and we're all of string wheel. What do you mean? Put that back. You hold one end and I'll be out there and then what item?

I mean, it's hard to keep up with any of this, right? Because I'm still back on like the closing counters and like the list of the three different encounters and they're like slowly explaining every different kind only up to three. When like clearly these folks were obsessed with encounters four, five, and six, six being for special occasions obviously. But then they jump from explaining, no, now there's actually aliens in the room too. And what about spring theory? Yeah, I don't know whether there's aliens or not. We've thought we'd disproved them and then we're coming back to it.

Like just this could have been well Resentances, you know, could have saved so much time. Well, you know who could really help clear this up the fact checker for the history channels big-foot documentaries And by the way if you are having a bad day or a bad week look up some Nick redfern Nick redfern's entire career is taking a crazy thing and going, yeah, Chupacabra, obviously, I mean, could be a Mexican spirit demon or it could be an underground science experiment

conducted by the Japanese government in land that was given to them in the secret deal of sing-sing, look away. That is his entire career, is he takes a crazy thing that you already don't believe and then he triples down on it. Oh, okay. I wasn't familiar with this guy, so what I heard him say was, all together, I've written about 40 books and I'm like, oh, so you're terrible at writing books. There's no fucking possible way. That means you wrote 40 shitty books. No good author has written

40 books and pounded in the butt by the chupacabra. I gotta say also fat checker for the history channels Bigfoot documentary sounds like the kind of job that a politician would bribe you with like, look, okay, if you go with me, I will make you fat make you. It's like the easiest shit in the world. So just ask you like, oh, is there a big fun? You're like, no, that's done. Fact check. This guy, I checked it. No.

This guy who basically is the 80s British punk rock band, to me is the most essential visual of this boring ass movie to watch. I have just, oh, you mean the fucking engagement ring he has in his ear? I have so many notes about the visuals of the character. I'm just gonna give you a taste. I've got a lot, right? This is Dark Universe, Michael Marshall for starters, right? Yeah. Wix Santorum sporting a Mark Zuckerberg hoodie, or the most handsy Hogwarts professor the extended universe. It's like if Michael Marshall had a really messy divorce and then like red in a pickup

artist forum that pretended to be gay was a good way to get chicks. That's what this guy looks like. Yep. You guys think a lot about Michael Marshall, don't you? I feel like he's the skeptic of the year. He's. Yeah. That's true. Yeah.

Not that canceled QED gets this. Oh, yeah. No, he gets to keep it. All right. So, but the here's the key though that Nick Redfern used to believe in that nonsense, easy story of the aliens are just here to steal our DNA and whatnot, but his thoughts have evolved on it. He's pretty sure they're interdimensional demons. Yeah, and we get a little bit of a moth man prophecy is here too, right? Is there a mix

in in the interdimensional? Yeah, well, that's, that's, that's how he finally came upon. This was by reading about the moth man prophecies that actually helped him. Yeah, which perfectly fits the cosmology of this movie about, you know, things that don't fucking do anything. Like, it's really easy to make up a theory about something that literally doesn't do anything ever. That's the job. And look, nothing will soften your comedy boner than bringing up John Keel, who was like,

I don't know, what if we wrote a science fix in adventure? Oh, I have schizophrenia and I think it's all true now. And you you just get letting me write books, even though you knew I was sick. That's it's like vendors, but real. All right. Well, given what you've heard so far, I can see how you might doubt that this movie still has three years of crazy to shift into, but it does. So we're going to take a break for the sake of our sanity. But first, let me give it back to me, the hard sell here. Will the aliens and the abductees cut the tension and fuck already? Will a guy straight face it? Tell us about getting asked kabob by demons. Can you banish alien abductors using this one simple trick? Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return

for the utterly psychotic conclusion of alien intrusion unmasking a deception. Quiet, quiet, quiet. Here. Here he comes. Hey, Blarathonar, Christmas lights around our, our spaceship. Doesn't it look beautiful? Um, well, I'm a kind of mess as a bar covert mission to observe the earthlings. I feel like, uh-oh, you hate it. Well, what did he think? He hates it.

No, I don't hate it. I didn't say I was. I'm sure he doesn't hate it because you worked so hard on it. Dude, yeah, no, I like it. I like it. Let's keep it. We'll keep it. We can keep it on the ship. Yep. Let's keep this

all over the ship. Yep. Great work. Larnar. Messes up our mission. What is up with you, dude? God, we off guard. I wasn't expecting that. Come on. And we're back for more of this shit. And's time to meet another expert this time in the person of Noryo Hayakawa, director of Thing No One's Ever heard of that exists entirely in the half of his garage, his wife lets him use for it. And we learn about his civilian intelligence network and their very impressive collection of dioramas. Really nice ones. This is the point in which I realize that all of this stuff is just like a history fan

thick. And I become very sympathetic to everyone. I also want this thought cannon to be the way this was that history was actually written way better. Yeah. Well, I mean, but we can but we can't discount this guy entirely. He was a member of several organizations that you just pay to be a member.

They don't just throw around organization memberships around here, okay? Guys, why don't we start a bunch of organizations? They don't have any of this. We should start like seven of them and just like, ourself's positions, do all this stuff. And then for the more if you share a bunch of, I don't know, we share each other's whatever

bullshit, we can be like, I have written 20 tweets that have been shared by other other podcasters. I don't know how to break it to you, Thomas, but that is the extent of my career. And the people sharing my way ahead of me. I mean, I've already got a cult. So I don't know what we're talking about. Yeah. Another cult. I do.

When me and Thomas are going to start a whole person. I'm the only one here who hasn't started a cult. God damn it. Why didn't you guys include me in your cult? I'm going to be the vice president. He's going to be the president. Then I'll start when we're he's the vice president. I'm the president. Yeah, no, I like it, Tom's. I'm with you. Where I awkwardly suggest something that you are all already did and didn't include me in. Okay. Okay. So, oh, I love this too. So Gary Bates shows back up and he's like, because the reason

that Noreal Hayakawa is there is basically to say, hey, look, you know, I'm a total alien guy. We looked into it. We never found any evidence at all that the government was secretly abducting people. Well, dressed up as aliens. I know I expected to, too, but we didn't know evidence. And Gary Bates is like, well, if you want hard evidence, the only place you can go is hypnotic regression. Oh, I thought you were going to say, if you want hard evidence, check this guy's rectum. This next. Yeah. Eli, do you mind doing some hypnotizing us and we can prove some super crazy shit and I'll get a public and a journal of controversial ideas.

This is so exciting. All right. So now it's time to meet Dr. John Mack who was a Pulitzer Prize-winning guy that Pulitzer is really proud of now. This reminds me of Leo the Lion from the Be reasonable episode who like helped with DNA 247 years ago and then he was like, by the way, AIDS is a demon that comes from looking at man, PPs. I got to say that the 15% or so percent of our audience that listens to be reasonable is going to get all the jokes today. All right.

Oh, so, okay. This is the guy though from Harvard who started looking into the alien abduction thing. And basically at a certain point said, hey guys, like, there's something here, whether it's a mental illness or what it is, there's something here. It's not just these people are, you know, looking for attention, which I don't know what I agree with, but that's basically all he was saying. Yeah, and he gets to say it on Oprah, which is super weird, right? Well, he's totally legit.

He's been a lot of people. Yeah, and Oprah's question is it on Oprah, which is super weird. Well, he's totally legit. He's been. Yeah, and Oprah's question is, what does this all mean? Is if it, you know, Oprah, it means you're filling airtime like. Yeah. The new Oprah show at this point. That's what this means. And he's, he's trying to like justify his belief that there's something real here. And he's like, look, even two year olds are having alien abduction.

So it can't just be shit. They're making up. Yeah, I know. I've got that too. Yeah, what dad tell us about how two year olds never make shit up. Well, two year olds only say things that have been peer reviewed in science.

He can't believe a two year old telling you about monsters in their room. Yeah. Two year old, are about monsters in their room. Yeah. I knew my two year old. Are you looking forward to the Easter bunny and they're like, where's your pro? So I need added. I mean, it's about as good as his explanation for how it's not mental illness. He basically is like, well, they see him normal, right? Yeah.

Probably happen. Probably happen. Except when they're talking about this. Yeah. Yeah. 75% chance. Probably happened. Probably happened. Except when they're talking about this, yeah. Exactly. 75% chance. All right. So now we meet our first experiencer.

That's what they're calling them, by the way, because they can't say abdokdi because they're going to argue later than they weren't actually abducted by aliens. Yeah. So this is Janet D experiencer. Aw. Didn't she would like to share her UFO story with us? Because it's the only way she can get people to talk to her. Oh, I cannot promise you anything more than I can promise that Janet devoted for Trump

and is on a CNN panel right now explaining that she didn't know he would end up being the hot, the hood. Now I did in the Lord's name. Yeah, and then the final question, the moderator asked her is, so do you still support Trump? Oh, well, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Of course, man, you know, what are you going to do? And this is where you were asking, no, why I'm unhappy with this movie is like, I want to deep turn into some crazy level of demonology. And we're gonna like mention the word earlier, but what I realize at this point is what we're gonna get

is 40 minutes of people telling weird lame UFO descriptions and that's all that this fucking movie is going to be. And then I'm gonna get the descriptions right. Like she's sitting there saying, it looked like a row of red lights. And the visual they're putting up is a circle, a circle of lights. It is not a fucking row.

Like did the graphics design folks, not even listed in this fucking movie? I don't know. They had to work with what was in the clip art alien documentary thing that they bought. Yeah, straight alien ships. Come on. Oh, you don't tell my child that we're not using his project from school? Are you going

to look into his eyes and tell him that? All right. And also, okay, so we, we, we check back in with one of the talking heads that we met in Roswell and he shows up. And this is one of the parts that that Eli was talking about because he starts talking about, well, he starts describing sleep paralysis precisely, right? Which is what generally is happening when people are talking about alien abductions, but then he also starts talking about how like this also happened when he was a kid. Mmm, this is the guy where it was the UFO PhD, right? That's your talking about?

Yes. And like, hey, wait a minute, when, when, when, you all, you all laugh, but having a UH or UFL PhD is a lot fuck ton more relevant to this movie than spectroscopa, Dupadee, if that's quantum data or not earlier, at least this guy's a problem. I also love the way they present it was that like, yeah, obviously he pulled a fast one on everyone. Like he's the only guy who was able to somehow finagle a UFO PhD. Okay.

Like, are they bragging about it? Or are they bragging about the PhD or the fact that he pulls them off and when you know, the college where airbook two took place where it wasn't in the rule book that a dog couldn't play football. Turns out it also wasn't in the rule book that you can't have a doctor hit in UFO. So this is Jack from Twitter, right? Who we find out that Jack, the guy invented Twitter, we find out that he got molested by his parents. And there's the first of many stories of getting molested by, you know, either family member or somebody, it might not have been parent. I don't want to disparage anybody, Someone who lived in the house, but then was somehow convinced it was aliens.

And there's like three of these people and it's pretty depressing. It's so depressing. He's like, yeah, I would wake up in the middle of the night and someone would be doing these horrible things to me. And after years and years of this experience, I concluded, yeah, it was aliens, I was being called aliens. It was an alien. Yeah. So, I want to, I want to flash forward to the day someone's just like, or your dad and he's just like, my dad. Right, because that wouldn't have to be demons or aliens, right?

It makes me feel like. I just want to see the real estate. Oh, my dad's not an alien wait Oh, no, all right that why they always smelled like I whiskey on the Just figured their alien van staleon metabolism process. That's they drink whiskey to live. I just thought that And then we see it. Okay, hear me out. We see a support group for alien abduction survivors. All right. I'll tell you what, if you ever just want to get rid of me for the rest of time and you don't care if it's through death or imprisonment,

force me to spend 15 minutes in that room. Look at these poor UFO folks, they are expecting real help and insight isn't that tragic. Anyway, Jesus. Yeah. Right, right. Exactly. And he's talking about like the the commonalities of alien abduction survivors. And there is like, you know, they were all pretty sure that they personally were cosmically important. Like, yeah, gee, why would anyone want to hold a belief like that? It's almost like, yeah, the, the creator of the universe loves you personally and cares about your parking space. That would be insane. I wanted the, I wanted the pastor to steeple his fingers at this point and just be like, basically they were doing our thing, they're doing our thing. And it's our thing.

We're going to double down on this later when we describe how what people would think were aliens now were gods and medieval demons in the old days, but they're doing our thing is what I'm saying. They're doing our, this is what blows my mind about this movie. Just like I say, it's, they found a very specific market and we're like, we need this fucking market. We have we, we need, and like atheists are so much smaller of a group. We need people more than Christians by far. And we're not even like, we're like, okay, I love those people. They're, they're lost. We're not trying to like convert the, but the, the Christians

are like, no, no, no, leave no stone unturned. Come up with an entire fucking mythology about why the four people in this experience, or support group are actually that they've seen Jesus or demons or some shit. And then we convert them and then tell you what, that's like four nickels in the dish that you pass around and that's our business model. Thank you. But Thomas, to be fair to atheists, predisposed to believe demonstrably false bullshit isn't as important in a target demographic to us.

As you were just saying, so they look at them as like, oh, they're 99% right. Right. I see. It's such a small show. That makes sense. I got you. I mean, this is the closest they ever really get to a thesis statement. I thought in the movie because we have the pastor show up and he's just like, yeah, it

occurred to me eventually that we pastors should really be milking this alien abduction shit. You know, like it's already bullshit. We just have to change the flavor a little. I exactly what is it now that you say that? What an indictment on your belief system. Like if your belief system, you take these people who think they've been like literally kidnapped, molested,

whatever by aliens, and all you have to do is be like, just change the word alien to demon and we're 100% compatible. Yes. How do you 100% compatible. Yeah. You're one madlib away from the same belief system. Like that's a bad side. Okay. So now we've really got to dive into the argument that these actually are demons sent by Satan

to pull us away from the word of Christ. And one of the pieces of evidence that they're going to present is a woman who tells us about an abductee that she knew that was going to become a minister. Right. And then the aliens talked him out of it. This is my favorite part because they said she says, we don't even get to talk to this guy. No, this is like, oh, I knew a guy. And she said, this is bullshit. To the second power, yes. This guy was going to be a preacher, whatever. But then he found out from the aliens

that he's meant to actually use the alien to take us to a higher spirituality. And my thinking is like, if I believed this bullshit, I'd be like, nice fucking job, Dork. I haven't even heard of you. You've got alien sponsors. I'm assuming that Jesus stuff is all true. You've got like the alien coke brothers at your back, you're like adopting you. And they're being like, hey, we'll help you. Just we, we need to help you spread the word of God. And I haven't even fucking heard of you. I already forgot who you were this second. I'm watching this.

How incompetent do you have to be? You'd be chill. My pastor is from from Canada. It's cool. You just, you just told me all the time. You haven't met him. I love though that what she's really saying to us, she's basically turning right to a camera and saying,

yes, no, the person at my group of sane people that I go to thinks he was chosen by the aliens to lead man kind out of the darkness is the evidence for our position anyway okay we also have to talk about bud hopkins he was doing this alien ship before it was cool guys yeah and he's a Jew I'm sorry humanist he's a humanist and also the old priest from the exorcist that's a Jew. I'm sorry humanist. He's a humanist And also the old priest from the exorcist. That's a little known fact and the last thing on the side and this is where we learn the story about the lady who she was getting alien examined and then they came over and they did the magic hands thing on her E.T. powers right? Yeah, they put the ET hands on her and made her happy.

Yeah, and then she explained, apparently she explained to Debud that she would sacrifice her children for that feeling again. And I just wanna know how that came up in conversation. I was, you guys all almost done in there? Yeah, just running it through the spleen eraser. I actually ran the Vectron spectrum I helped I helped guys guys. It's fucking awake What no, it isn't it is its eyes are open. Oh my is that what that means? Guys, I gotta give it a love touch. You guys can't do

anything. There is that matter. Do you want me to kill my kids for you? No, no thank you. Do they always offer that? Way more often than you'd think. Humans are weird. They are. often than you're saying, humans are weird. They are. I mean, that's must what they do offer that a lot is all I'm saying. We offer that as well. These should. It's the ethical position. It's yeah, capitalism. But the point of that whole story and this whole section is for John Mac to me to the aliens. And look, John, you don't need to tell me the best way to open someone up

is to stretch their butthole. I'm just saying, that's the door I walk through and it's the door a lot of people walked into after me, John Mac. I am sold. Yeah, he's really selling this in the wrong direction. I have my choices between a God that doesn't answer the prayers of dying children and interdimensional space demons who show up on the regular for some fucky sucky.

This is an easy conversation. I have no problem. He missed call. Aliens are just your small town high school girlfriend. I'll take it universe. I'll take it. Can we do a can you guys do I know you're doing your Patreon drive? Can you do one for send, send Noah

to one of these support groups? Cause I just wanna hear them being like, and then they probe me annually for nine hours. And then here Noah would be like, well, the weird thing is though, there's no aliens. So like what? Do you have one or what? What was in your ass?

I think it's the same thing. Nine hours and a half. What you just delivered, tearfully to us. There's not aliens. So where's that leave us? All right. All right. So now Gary is going to set out the markers of the classic abduction scenario or C.A.S.

because it sounds like more legit if they use initials. And there are eight markers, three of which are total logical. Right? Like one of them is being captured, one of them is being returned. And the other one is like, the last one is aftermath. Like, time continues to exist afterwards is one of the markers. These markers escalate and deescalate very quickly. Marker one, you're driving in a car or see something. Marker two, someone

shoved something up your ass. Marker three, a tour of the spaceship. I'm sorry, you get a tour after they shoved something up your ass. All right. You want to see the books and beeps come out. Get your hem right, Jonas. Muffler out of my ass. No. Could you kindly walk this way? Someone will hold the giant pole coming out of your ass. We will put that on a little cart. You can walk around with it. And again, I was pretty pissed off because like if they're going to open with shoving something up my ass, the rest of this better not be a boring walking simulator. There better be something really fun on the back end here. Just don't give me started and then not put me down

at the end as I'm saying. Yeah, amen, brother. There's a couple of where they say you are being walked around and you see what are commonly called incubatoriums because we've all used that phrase at least once in our lives. Oh, yeah, the old incubatorium. Stop trying to make incubatoriums a thing, Brad. Come on. We might get a chance to visit Thomas when we go out in a couple of weeks to the California area.

And I'm open to, I know you have a new incubatorium. Oh, yeah, there's the incubatorium tour that we can go on. Oh, right. Because you like, you will have something in his ass already. Look it up on V8 or it's like top rated. It's Sonoma wine country in Cubatorium tour. So, okay. So now it's time to meet Josh J.

He's also an experiencer who was abducted by aliens that stole his mustache. So now he just has the weird, beard mustacheless thing going on. Oh, God, you're so right. I'm glad that also bothered you. Oh, so, and I love, because we, he doesn't do to Lee do, right? He's talking about when he was a kid and the aliens used to fuck with him. And we see aliens playing peekaboo around his door when it was a kid. They just followed him around and bullied him.

Sometimes, sometimes they take my lunch money, and sometimes they'd be like staring at me and I'd be like, stop! And then my dad would be like, you're starting it and I'd be like, the alien looked at me and it never believed me. I like the, his evidence is, I was having these experiences that were sexual in nature, but I was too young

to know what they were. I couldn't imagine what real sex would be like, unless it was with aliens, I was really, really into visualizing sex with aliens. What I'm saying is, I think a lot about the whole purpose of this whole thing. Everyone's low walking their way, explaining how much they like thinking about sex with aliens. Right. The Jack Conti looking guy from before he shows up and just I hope you got your seat belt on because he just makes this hard left turn into alien rape. He's like, just also the aliens fuck people. I don't know why nobody talks about that, but they're just fucking left and right. Yeah. I'll talk to you. If it's Jane Big Tenacious D fans in the first album, when he's like, we should talk

about the hard fucking though. Like, just got nowhere. Yep. It's that. We should talk about the hard fucking though, the documentary. Look, and there's a real historical precedent here. People used to get fucked by ink you by all suck you by Gary goes, you know, and if you think about it, you know, who fucks people, incubi and suck you by exactly.

That's who fucks people. So it must be deep. I don't need to bring up that old, that old chestnut that we all get raped by incubi and suck you by the demon created originally envisioned in Dante's in Ferno, but are of the vision gins of St. Mary of Aquinas of the 4th century. I mean, I'm preaching to the choir here. So I don't need to tell you. I was the A.K.

Biden's succubi. So mad at this point because we finally have gotten to the demon sexy time and rather than some at least mid-grade CGI porn, they cut to alien in a movie suit. And I'm just so mad. I do not want to jerk it to an old creepy white guy. Show me some suck you by. And look, I don't want to jump to the gun here, but today involved in alien rape apology because there's a weird quote where they're like, look, if you have low self esteem, it might deserve to get raped by an alien. Yeah.

And Chris, did I imagine that? No, in the take Christian part, we're going to get absolutely exactly that argument, as well as the dead, I'd say to the camera that says, don't take advantage of lonely people. They're goddamn movie. camera that says, don't take advantage of lonely people. And if they're God damn movie, they have a quote from a guy explaining how dangerous to mentally distress people it would be to perpetuate this bullshit myth about alien abductions. Now they think that they're in the clear because they're like, no, no, we're not talking about alien abductions. We're talking about interdimensional demons.

That's a different thing. That's just real. That's just real. That's what we're going to discuss later. They are not taking that thesis seriously enough. I really feel like they are underselling what a reality would be like if they were, in fact, interdimensional demons coming around, raping people all the time. All right. So, and by the way, so they keep saying, like, and if you think about it, all of these alien abduction stories have a fuck component to it.

And then we cut back to this old woman, Joyce A and I'm like, oh my God, is she going to share a story I get railed by aliens? But no, no. Instead, she just talks about the aliens playing keep away with her baby daughter at one time. As the haver, the only haver of small humans here. Well, okay, that are genetically related. Yeah, there you go.

I want to chime in here that when I heard this story and she's like, so they came in, my baby was on the crib, there was at the foot of my bed, and the aliens came, and they took my baby. My first thought was like, wait, do we get alien child care? Can they do this? If they want to take Arlo for like, I don't we get alien childcare? Can they do this? Yeah. If they want to take our love for like, I don't know, a couple weeks or something, I'm not talking. I'm not talking months.

I'm not talking months. I'm not a monster. They're memories don't really kick it until two anyway. So, exactly. Exactly. Like a wrap of it. Mainly it's just changing shits and feeding them. Right.

Nothing to it. Like an alien. Excuse me for wanting a child with a flexible butthole. I want the best for my fucking kid. I'm Thomas Ben. Yeah. I mean, again, and this is where it gets really hard to see them not put the pieces together because they're like, the aliens look like religious figures and they raped our children and we can't stop them. I can't put it together. I don't, I don't, right.

I think I should rewind the movie into where they talk about how the aliens keep up with current events. Maybe the end I'll get where this is all going. Maybe like fucking, the high, how a guy he comes up and he's like, but if you think about it, all the various alien abduction stories that you hear, they all contradict each other. So the aliens must be deliberately lying to us about where they're And therefore their demons because only demons would pretend to be aliens, but lazy Science They would they could only be demons but with several different D&D campaign booklets several different D&D campaign booklets that don't have like.

That's why I thought this is the Asian campaign was on my side. I the whole time I didn't know what the Asian I love the Asian guy. I was like, oh, he always says stuff that's sensible. But then he finally was like, and therefore, demon. Yeah.

Oh, you let me down. You were my last hope. Lies. I was there for this one. All right. So yeah, but it's a demonic deception and the government knows it. Damn it. Apparently the government's in on it too. Because if you want to get the alien abduction crowd, the government has to be in on it.

Yeah. And this is where they find out that they've been hiding the people who are getting sick, right? Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Because they're obviously getting sick from aliens and not from hanging around emo Dr. Manhattan from earlier with his depleted uranium earring. The earring symbolizes that this is all a circle of bullshit.

That's them. All right. So now, okay, so the hearsay from people that I don't trust on first hand accounts continues with the porn star's guy. He's going to tell us about build D from rural Florida. This may just be Florida man. And he had what would I call it a stereotypical experience.

I think you are just going for typical bro. I don't know a guy from Florida seeing alien shoved up up his ass is pretty staring at the seeing alien shoved up up his ass is pretty staring at the typical. Yeah. So we cut to this guy build the and just out of nowhere. Okay. So here's the story. He's like, you know, my dogs were barking in the middle of the night for no reason at all. So, you know, probably aliens. And then he described sleep paralysis. Because you know, that's the kind of thing that would happen when your dogs won't show the fuck up

and you need to get to sleep. And then just out of the blue, completely straight faced, he's like, and then also there's a pole up my ass, and the alien that was Shishka Bob and me up the ass started laughing like that was funnier something, I'm with him, right? It's me and that alien.

I am a kind of semi-serious note here, right? Like I said earlier, I don't feel like people are taking their own thesis seriously enough. Like if these people really have PTSD, and this guy specifically has PTSD from being shish kabobbed up the ass, why are you putting him on, perched on a tiny little metal fucking stool, right?

I should be just sitting in a bean bag while he explains his experience. He should be a fucking amic. You people are monsters. Yeah, the balls they drew on the bottom of the stool was really inappropriate. I thought I was gonna step too far. But what's important is the vein in the middle of it. They just shouldn't have.

Midway through getting Shish kabobbed, he said, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, and the aliens ran away. Well, I gotta say that is what I say when there are things in my ass. So that's the story adds up. Look, I wanna hear the alien side of this thing. Are you guys almost done in there? What the fuck are you doing? Oh shit.

Nothing, nothing. You, there's our stick in his ass. Technically, it is a pole. It's a pole, yeah. Well, that doesn't, it doesn't matter what it's technically, why would you do that? Okay, so me and Flamaraq, right, we're talking and he says, hey, why do they even have a butthole?

No, you know what? I don't care why, just put him back. Fine. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! Hey, thanks for Jesus. I said, let's go. Jesus! Fine.

Wish someone would take the pole out of his ass. What? What? Nothing. Yeah, but it turns out that the aliens are terrified of Jesus like they would be if they were demons. Well, I think it goes back to scripture because there's that time where it's like, and thy safe word shall be. Or maybe it's just that the aliens are like me.

And as soon as somebody starts saying Jesus, they're like, let's go, let's go. Let's get the fuck out of here. I don't really care what's up as asked. Leave the pro. He's like, well, you don't wanna, you don't wanna keep fucking him with that pole? It's not even fun anymore.

He's more and more plausible that the person just goes back to their supervisor and says, yep, lost another one to Jesus. Yeah. These are the hard days where I really need a drink. And I want, like, if I were a, you know, a rapie alien or what demon or whatever, um, earmuffs, like, what the heck? I'm just, hmm, I'd be like, maybe fool me once. Okay, I sure.

And then, uh, we're going to do some rapie. Let's get in our earplugs. Oh, dammit. I can read lips. Fuck, fuck. A blindfold. Yeah. See, so that makes it more fun anyway.

You know, it's kind of. Never know what hole you're gonna hit. One SNM alien, Sudekin. Call me a pig. But yeah, so, so, but then we get to the, again, like the terrifying thesis statement of this movie, which is, don't worry about your mental illness, being my religion can cure that.

Yep. Let me tell you, if there's anything that makes delusions better, it's diving further into a slightly different delusion. Yeah. And some Tinkley piano that really appeared with that. Well, tinkly piano helps in all instances. So Jesus' juice doesn't work unless you got a little bit of like ivory in the background. And also just like to give you an idea how poorly formed their thought is because they're

arguing now that if you call upon the name of Jesus, the aliens will always go away. But then there are people who are like, no, I called upon the name of Jesus, the aliens will always go away. But then there are people who are like, no, I called upon the name of Jesus, the aliens didn't go away. So then the pun stars guy shows up and he says, you know, it turns out that, yes, some Christians get abducted, but not the true Scottsman. Oh, exactly. He's like, we've run some tests and got the results back from our very scientific problems. And they essentially do what he was talking about before. We're like, turns out certain amount of these rape

victims deserved it. That's the thing. Yes, because they didn't love Jesus correctly. A pastor, you know how I was getting raped by the aliens and then you told me to tell him Jesus and then they'd stop. They didn't stop, Pastor, some wondering what you deserve. Okay, I got it. I'll believe harder. Correct. And this is where I come to the theory

that Jesus actually does exist and is some sort of cosmic alien space tyrant. And so when you call out the name of Jesus, they just assume that you're on his team and they stay as far away from you as possible. Because if Jesus thinks that like this creepy rave strategy is the solution to getting people to believe in him, he is the worst thing in the Congress. This is the most horrifying conversion strategy for any

supernatural. HP Lovecraft was like, fuck, that's brilliant. Yeah, right. Like I wanted to, I wanted to lure him away from Jesus so I raped him in the ass. It doesn't seem like I'm scared. Oh my God. And in this section, I just want to note people who are like, Oh, don't, you know, make fun of their chairs. Hipster skeptic gets to sit in a proper chair in this scene. If you have a proper chair, guy who gets pull up his ass

for a living should not have to sit on this stool. That is, that is just all I am saying. And at this point, you're probably sitting there thinking to yourself, again, according to Thomas's long tail marketing hypothesis. Sure. I'm a Christian who believes I was raped by aliens, but I also believe that if my Jesus invocations didn't work, it was because it didn't believe enough. Is there anything in the Bible to back up this belief?

I'm glad you asked. Person who came came to this time share. Yeah, so yeah, no Gary bust out his Bible. He's like, you remember that thing about the sons of Skiva? They tried to rebuke demons in Jesus's name and the demons were like, well, if you know Jesus, what's the cell number and they didn't know, so the demons beat the fuck out of him, remember that? Oh, just like what's going on here? I'm so mad we're not up to that with Bible Peace Theater yet.

I have to wait like 65 years until we get to that section. Is this where we get the Trump supporter lady that was interviewed in the CNN town hall talking about like, well, I had a friend and she was visit. It was by a typical gray and I was like, fuck you and your stupid lingo, lingo. I hate all your lingo. Everybody's lingo. I hate it.

It's typical gray. What the typical, typical, typical things that doesn't fucking get. Exactly. Oh yeah. That's a lot more of a comment. No one of the rare fucking things that doesn't exist. What do you mean the typical one? Okay.

Well, it hasn't evolved to its final form yet. Thomas, it's important. Like, different thing. And she says like, there's just no way of explaining why so many of these abductees are Christian. Like, oh, in the end of the South where you're all Christian, there's no way of explaining why the aliens chose Christians. Wow, that's a tough one. And am I wrong?

Or is the end of that story? So she just looked him square in his typical alien eyes, as she said, hey, are you actually a demon? He was like dang girl. Well, he didn't answer. He made excuses. He's like, shit, I have a phone call coming in, ring ring, ring ring. I gotta go for that.

That's my alien. It's a Samsung Galaxy, get it? I got it. And this is the second thing. We have fun. We're John Favreau's creepy uncle gives us a direct quote that is amongst the best in this movie. These are things we couldn't really scientifically investigate. So we started investigating to find out what it is about Christians that aliens seemingly didn't like.

Please let it be their bitchy attitude. Let it do it holier than that bullshit is what we figured out eventually. The reality is they don't taste good. You got to simmer them all on time. No way of explaining why the only people who returned our phone calls to be in a Christiany alien movie are Christians. There's just the other scientific way. Must be that we're right.

Yeah. I'll be honest. Yeah, I love, because like the point starts guy, he comes up and he's like, you know, look, I didn't start out as a Bible, thump in Christian, but once I became Christian,

all of my existing beliefs were able to be easily revamped into it. Almost like it was a bullshit frame designed to be infinitely malleable so that any society hold on shit. Shit. I got to start over. Yeah. He says, um, once I was armed with the information that the Bible was the inherent word of God.

I'm going to clear the word information should not be applied in that way. You were armed with new bullshit. Information has to be true for you to be armed with it. He's like, then I learned that the Bible didn't have any errors in it. And that would change the world of you. Followed you forever. Let me tell you, that almost got my best words. Best words sliding in a crazy thing in a sentence, right? Just like, so I was like, all right, let's figure this out. First, the Bible is the in-air word of God that's never been disproven. Second of all, these aliens keep attacking people.

Therefore, yeah, I feel bad for all the folks who are like all in on premise one and then you drop premise one and then you drop premise two and you're like, oh, I can't think which those two in any scientific way. Shit. What do I do now? This is also where we get best worst, best, uh, meaningless reenactment because, okay, let me tell you that, uh, or just horribly ugly CNN town hall Trump supporter, she must have been a brilliant negotiator or something because she starts telling a nothing story, like a nonsense. Well, one day I was driving in my car, dude, to buy whatever, and then they cut to a reenactment

and it's like a blonde babe in the car. And like, what do you, the real girl was like the, you know, the, in labyrinth, the thing that has all the crap on her back. Like, that's like the real version. This would be like, if I'm like, oh, you know, the other day, I was going to the store and then it cuts to like Jason Mamoah, like, you sure was like, just dropped lifting up a bunch of heavy, like, groceries and stuff like that.

No, I was hotter than that when I was a kid. You have to have. Yeah, that's what it looked like everybody. There I was. I remember it well. And the payoff of her story is, but now I know nothing. These things aren't real. And I'm like, wait a minute. No, the moral of the story is they are real.

They're real demons. You should all be fucking terrified. How are you all chill? Knowing that these demons are everywhere. All right, so now we're gonna, it's a little late in the movie to meet a new talking head, but we're gonna meet this guy from the Southern Baptist Convention. And you can tell he's from the Southern Baptist Convention because he can say the word Jesus entirely through his nose.

This is the grown man who insists that people call him Johnny. Yeah. Anyway, he shows up and he's like, well, it's obviously aliens fighting in an interdimensional war for our souls. Do. Yeah. I think we can all agree on that. Is this also the guy who says that the Bible is eyewitness testimony? Yeah.

That has never been contested. Yeah, it's accuracy has been verified by archaeologists. Yes. I love it too. They're always like archaeologists. You know what they did is they dug up some dirt and brushed it and they found the word the Bible is true and it's all verified. How did you verify everything in the Bible from like just digging up a foot into the ground? It's all verified. How did you verify everything in the Bible from just digging up a foot into the ground?

It's all verified. No, it's all verified. Even the Bible doesn't think the Bible is eyewitnessed. No. I'm just totally getting lost at this point. Is Jesus an alien or not, guys? Like, no. What is the point? This is Johnny's point. Is Jesus an alien or not guys like? No, what is the point?

This is Johnny's point. Jesus was very clear when he said in Timothy 1 verse 12, I'll beat the shit out of Smellions if they rape you. My throat, you brother, you just say my name. I'll fuck them up. Also, I'm not lying. Right, right. No, the archaeologist found that part later.

And he, Johnny comes into it and he's going like, now I know what you're thinking. Angels look like kind of gay, you know, with the fairy wings. But they can kick some ass. Don't, don't let them fool you with the fairy wings. They can kick a little ass. Best worst, I know what you're thinking. Never, never moving. Got it.

It's like, you know, he's basically his argument though is, well, you know, if you think about it, demons would totally pretend to be aliens. That's so demon, if you think about it, which by the way, edged out, that's so rave and for the Tony last year and I thought it was horrible. This is another best worth waste of source of material to where because you like, you've got some crazy ass descriptions of the angels to draw on with your at least be, you know, C plus CGI department. And instead you cut to block quotes of the descriptions in the fucking Bible. Yeah. Like where are my 100-eyed aliens with a bunch of fucking wings? This is the sci-fi movie.

So we came here for. Do the baby that dragon with a different number of heads and horns and everything? Come on, show me that. I've waited eight seasons. Blow the shit up. Let's go. Anyway, yeah. So but Jesus was able to cure this lady's aliens in just three easy applications or something. Yeah. Three easy

payments of 1999. Yeah, or 10%. Yeah. And then okay, they literally have a screen cap quote of a guy saying, and by the way, this is not total bullshit. And I want to say, like, look, I know a lot of stuff in this movie is context but this isn't even from like john keel's like writings on demons this is someone wrote john keel a letter like an editor wrote him a letter and was like hey john you know your books aren't real right and he was like i'm a fuck it scholar that i want to your house is dressed as the mock man rich gear put a hamster in his butt, but it didn't stop him from doing my movie. The circus music is played backwards. It's rough.

On also, by the way, say that philosophy is not a crack potology while we're all expressing our deepest hopes and fears. I just want to. It seems like the moment. I'm going to get it out there. It's still a real bad thing. Podcasting is not a crackpot of all change. Let's all just express our audits through. Let's get it out there, everybody. Juggling. Come on. And we get another great quote from UK Rick Santorum here, right? One of the main reasons why I

suspect the phenomenon isn't extraterrestrial is because it's constantly changing. Yeah. The way demons do. That scientific method is hard, you know, it's constantly changing. Yeah. The way demons do. That scientific method is hard. You know, it's all in fact. Well, and then this, and I thought at this point that it was a joke and that Eli was going to show up as one of the talking heads and go, gotcha, at a certain point that he had hired John Schneider to do all of this because at this point, Gary shows back up and he's just like, uh, and you know, as we were doing our research, we noticed that one thing connected virtually every abduck T

that we ever interviewed, they had fucked around with Ouija boards. Ouija boards. We're people getting all these Ouija boards, like there's some handing them out. This is how different my world view is, is that you could have been like, all right, Eli, we're going to pause the movie here.

You have 10,000 years to guess what all these people have in common. Never would have gotten Ouija boards. Yeah. 200 goddamn movies in. And I just want to say, if any of these people are listening, I will buy a Ouija board and play with it every single day a night and fucking nothing will happen. I'm very confident. Do a live stream of me sleeping and it will just be mainly probably some farting.

Like that's mainly going to be what it'll be. You know, they keep trying to sell Jesus here at this point, right? Like if you have a problem with alien abduction, become a Christian and that'll only be demons, right? It's like, but or become a skeptic and it'll just be sleep paralysis. This is so much better. This is like the one place where we actually have a better product to sell than them. Skeptics. We have Ambien and demons face or cheese. I mean, what is's no brainer. Yeah. And oh, it's so fucking sad at one point. They started talking about how like alien abduction apparently is genetic that people like,

yeah, they, you know, they people start talking about like, you know, I had alien abduction experiences and my kids didn't, but then I took them for hypnotic regression. And suddenly they were traumatized by memories of alien abduction as well. Yeah. Yeah. That got sad. I have deep seated abuse experiences. And so do my kids.

Yeah. The right. Right. But the message they're trying to send, which is only slightly less terrifying is no watching scary movies or playing with Parker Brothers board games or demons will get your children. Yes. Put down the terror cards with demons and alien costumes will abduct your children. Yes. Precisely.

He's gotten to the voiceover guy that has the famous game communist one world government accent yet. Because that was incredible. I was a nice call back to every single communist one-world government accent ever in a game movie. He's auditioning for us. Yeah. It's like, it's done for it. It turns out it's not. Okay. And then also we learn at this point that a lot of people who are experiencers, right? Again, can't use the word abductee. Come out of their alien experiences,

sure that they're supposed to of their alien experiences, sure that they're supposed to start their own religions, which is exactly what demons would want you to do. If you think about it, and does the movie have any examples of these? Why yes they do, Eli, you may have heard of Mormons and Muslims. That's some great examples of people tricked by demon aliens into starting false religion. Somebody in the back just like, don't say, Ro did Damascus, don't say Ro did Damascus. Well, the Bible see, the Christians see that coming.

They go like a fucking morbids and Muslims, see it angels, right? As opposed to the massive eyewitness accounts that the Bible is based on. Yeah, right. Yeah. I don't know. Like come on, contrast the evidence for other religions with the evidence for Jesus. And I'm like, come on, who would waste their entire lives doing that? Right, guys? Oh, sorry. Let's go back to demon porn. Demon porn.

You're almost made it to the ringtones. Everybody. Help us make ringtones. All right. So, yeah. So then, but Gary warns us, he's like, you know, the real goal of the demon aliens is to prefer the word of God, which is why some alien abductees even come out of it writing their own Bibles or their own Gospels. Oh, I can imagine how that would happen.

You really think I should write my own Bible? Absolutely, man. All you gotta do is just write that shit down. Ah, ha! Oh, I can't believe you. Oh, come on, guys. It looks good shit. Back on the ship.

Come on. You guys ruined everything. Oh, yeah, sure we do, Mr. Christmas lights. I've gotta go. Wait, what about my Bible? Is Gase stuff okay? Uh, yeah, it's, uh, in fact, it's mandatory. Cool.

Mandatory. So, and then I noticed at this point, it's been like an hour since we got any narration from that Dilph of a host from the panel. Yeah. since we got any narration from that Dilph of a host from Yeah, and I was thinking either A It got too fucking insane even for him Or B He's having sex with all of our moms That's one of those it could be both

Right, we get a totally pointless This is so great. This is one of those things that I'm sure only I noticed because I care about audio We get a pointless 30 seconds conversation in a gazebo outside that clearly they tried to record and then realize, oh, there wasn't a mic within a quarter mile of us. So we'll redub it. And so it's like redub. Uh, yes. Thank you for the question.

You know, like over the them talking outside in the wind. And again, it's a nothing conversation where nothing is actually. Yeah. They just, they desperately needed to get to an hour and 51, I guess. Yeah. I think the only information we got was that they had both managed to get to North Korea on this stick. That was the takeover.

South Korea. South Korea. You don't want to get to North Korea on that stick. I'm pretty sure they could, they could, they could tell some people in North Korea on this. I think that's another fertile niche that they should be doing. I feel like that's the only country

that's gonna out crazy them. They're gonna be like, you're gonna be like, excuse me. I know you're worshiping your godson who golfs an 18 and doesn't poop, but if you've ever been abducted by aliens, those are actually demons sent by a goat'sator to convince you of a different religion.

Kim Jong-il is gonna be like, this asshole, am I right? So yeah. And okay, I love to, he's, you know, they're trying to like bolster their aliens or demons thing. And he's like, you know, he's like, but you know, you know, aliens are always when they show up. They're always like, oh, I'm so from outer space, different plan. Why would they protest so much? Yeah, no, he's big evidence too, is like, here's how we know. I this is that the toward the end of the movie. So this is my big objection.

Here's how we know it's not aliens. We've got all these stories, every so millions of binder's full of stories. Why did they never grab a towel from the spaceship and bring it back? No one's ever. Look, I'm a skeptical man. You're telling me no one's ever stolen one of those decorative soaps from the inside of a spaceship.

But why would anybody take a demon towel though? Yeah. I've never, no one's ever borrowed a space pen from the deck of the spaceship. Gary, I'm a skeptic. Gary wants to know where the used space condoms are guys. This is pretty straight. Science adjacent person wants. You know what's funny is it would have been a better argument if he's like, why have we never seen a guy walk around with a pull up his ass after? That actually would be a good question. Yeah, no.

Or like some massive, you know, anal hemorrhaging kind of thing. Like, what do you, do anyone ever ask, like, did you get an examination? Did you, I mean, there would be evidence of this. It's just like fitting a gauge, you're just walking around with it all the time. What do you guys, I can't see it. What are you talking about? I'm fine. I'm going to work in just a little bit.

Rub some tussin' it. And also, okay,. And he says at one point here and I love this might be my favorite line in the entire movie because me and Gary actually agree on this one accidentally. This is, this is where he says, and Christianity has never been more relevant to the culture than it is today. Yep. Gotta get a fill those cues basically what we're saying here. She's thinking to pay his own rent. It's the moral of the talk. And then we finally cut back to the DILF by the way, like zip-sups is flying. He's like, oh, I'm so, uh, it was.

Whatever we're talking about here. Well, we've had a lot of fun today. And you thought about what I look like on a surfboard, like gently teaching you how to surf. Not in like a two-harsh way, but maybe you'd get up once or twice and you just hold my hand in the sand. Anyways, the movie's over. There's 10 seconds of credits. Goodbye. Only Jesus can stop the aliens. Yeah, I was pretty angry at this point, right? Because I realized we were eight minutes in and we learned almost nothing about these actual demons.

No, no background like this is just game of thrones all over again. We're gonna rush it. Yeah. Fuck this. Well, they're softening us up for the sequel. Obviously, they're going to go into more detail in this. I actually really hope that they're going to make a sequel. All right. Well, that's it. So Thomas, Aaron can't thank you enough for hanging out with us today. If our listeners want to hear more from you guys, remind

them where they can go. I guess I'll, why do you assume that's my job, Aaron? You're more popular. Yeah. If they want to find us, they can check us out over at philosophers in space on all the major places. And they can also find me and embrace the void and Thomas literally anywhere that there's a podcast. Great. Now do a take where it's like you've spoken English before. All right, well, that's going to do a far review of alien intrusion, but it's not going to do Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha electronic encyclopedia of film and anything whose catch phrase is The devil is her lover now deserves our treatment. Okay. Well in that case He will be happy to get home so with that to look forward to we're gonna bring episode 196 to a merciful close Once again a huge thanks to Aaron and Thomas from philosopher since space and perhaps even a huge of thanks to all the patreon Donors and help make the show go if you'd like to count yourself among their ranks

You can make a prep so donation at patreon.com. So I've got off them and they're by your earnerly access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review on iTunes and by sharing the show and all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows that's getting any of the aesthetician

needed in the skepticrat, available on iTunes, Stitcher, and World RELs podcast live. If you have questions, comments, or sit-amatic suggestions, you can email gotoffelmoviesagemail.com. Legal services for the spot cast are provided by the law, this is a P.N. retours. Tim Robertson takes care of our social media. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnikov

and we have a giraffe sound Mars. All other music was written and performed by our audio engineer, Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week. For Heathen, right, Neely Bosnick, I'm No Luzon's Promise and Work Hard to Earn another chunk next week. Until then, we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. John Schneider didn't hurt anyone.

Gen D has gone through four more religions and 16 belief systems since this movie came out. She's doing great. All the demons eventually figured out they could just fuck each other. Gates finally got to win. And that's how it's happening. Yeah, that's right. That's right. And Joyce A is actually feeling kind of lonely. She didn't realize how much she was enjoying it until they were. I guess you want to help me write his headlines for when he gets back? Sure, sure we do write his headlines for him.

Yes we do. You're such a dick. You come from match? You come from match I got two weeks worth of the game ads for you. You come from Marjorie Tyrell Bosnick? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha