God Awful Movies - 197: Gam197 Abby

Episode Date: May 28, 2019

On this week's episode, we team up for an atheist review of "Abby", the 1974 Blaxploitation remake of the exorcist that, despite having a sex demon in it, was not called the sexorcist. That being said, we'll have very little else to complain about as we review this absolute masterpiece. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

I Am it throughout this movie will never not fall for a demon trick at one point I wanted the demon to sit him down and give him a pet top and just be like and it buddy come on down Just because I talk and have these voice. She's not better. All right, so here is I'm gonna try it and don't believe me Okay, so Baby you're all better now see this is what I'm gonna try it and don't believe me, okay? So, I'm all better now. Baby, you're all better now. Nope, see, this is what I'm talking about. Even...

Even give your heads up that time. You're taking the fun out of this. Can I be honest with you? You can reckon this for me. God awful... Movie! Movie! Movie! movie

Welcome back to the game cast for each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema because it's the only thing that makes the Lamb stop screaming. I'm your host no illusions and sitting 700 miles to my immediate left is my good friend heath and right heath Welcome back sir. Thanks Noah. So, uh, you know who fucks? Who fucks man? Who fucks? This movie fucks. So hard. I am, oh my god. I'm currently staying in an abusive relationship with this movie just for the dickage.

It is so good. Understandable. And of course, you've already heard him, but I'm going to introduce him anyway, sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? I'm dressed entirely in fur. That's how I am. No, I'm dressed entirely in fur. I'm wearing a real gold crown, white rimed sunglasses in a darkened room. All right, typical recording day. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's 70s week. All right. So tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched Abby. It's a black exploitation

Christian movie about a sexual prankster demon who takes over the body of a beautiful woman in Kentucky and fuck murders its way through town. Um, I can't really add any commentary to write. That's the movie. And it's not a comedy. Yeah, this is not the setup. That's the show we watched. And as you're going through it, I'm just like, yeah, wow, I hope he just stops at the

end of the synopsis. You cannot add to this. No, no, this is like pose law of the movie. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love the exorcist, but the devil isn't a bad enough mother, shut you

a mouth. I'm just talking about Abby. You will love, if Shaft meets the exorcist, it's the best good bad possible. Right, you've all the postmodern, ironic, south part, thanks killing writers. They all need to sit down and watch Abby. Exactly.

This, this is good bad. Everyone meant it. Everyone meant it. Everyone meant it 100% of the time. And when they were done, they were like, I did an amazing job in the next year. In 1979 and they walked the fuck away. Yeah, no, this is the bad that made me love bad movies. Exactly.

I'm so excited that this will now top the alphabetical list of movies we've done. We're never doing a movie about Moses's brother. Okay. This one stays at the top. All right. Is there anything you guys want to nominate it for being the best of being the worst at? Yeah. I'm going to say, uh, best worst combination of superpowers. Yep. So this prankster fuck demon has the most ridiculous, unrelated suite of evil powers. Like, we'll get to it and explain the exact details. But it's like, imagine if Superman was also really good at like using lefty scissors with his right hand. And they made a movie and he used that power for almost an entire movie, but that at the end he reverses the rotation of the earth to

go back in time. Right. A paper cut. It's just wildly asymmetrical with the powers. You know when your older brother was like, Hey, play Mortal Kombat with me and you didn't know how any of the things worked. And then he'd like get bored and was like, hey, play Mortal Kombat with me and you didn't know how any of the things worked. And then he'd like get bored and be like, oh, here's how you throw your spear and you'd be like, fuck, that's what this evil demon's experience of possession is like. He's like, I have, I can fly. Oh, shit, I can just teleport to right behind you.

Fuck, that's just downtown up. All right. I was just doing sweep the leg the whole time. That's the first. All right, I was going to go with best worst wind machine value. Oh, I will challenge either of you guys right here and now to name a single interior set in this movie that isn't subjected to a whirlwind tornado storm at some point in the film. Challenge.

Pass. Right. Every fucking room in this movie at some point, they bring in the wind machine, blow some fucking papers around it. Yeah. I heard there were real tornadoes when this was shot and they were all like, oh, it's a curse. It's a curse.

Also, it's the devil because we're doing demon stuff. Who's that? I'm going to go with best worst music cues. So I should clarify it. This has the greatest music of all time. This movie. But the way that it transitions from creepy haunted house to all in on disco. Yep.

Is so insane that I Googled like how long is Abby and then I checked the time on my movie because I thought maybe they had edited out some scenes for YouTube, but no, no, the makers of this movie were like, boo, bored, haunted house boring. Bam, chicken, where do we go? Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, boo, bored, haunted house, boring, when music was just a bassist, a man, brother. All right, well, we're going to all have to fit into the way back machine together to make this one happen.

So we're going to pause for a quick break. And when we come back, we'll dive into all the groovy action of Abby. So you guys want to do the interstitials and stuff first or just start with the A segment and then do it after. The A segment you wretched worm. Cool. Yeah, we'll start with the A segment. Also, everybody ready?

I'm going to set up Zencaster. You're too feeble to be ready. You shall only cross beneath the hooves of my Demonic cavalry. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Uh, give me one second. I just need a sip of mango nectar. Jesus, really? Just, I mean, like shoot a caulking gun full of sugar into your neck. It would just be easier.

I like nectar. Guys, I'm sorry, guys. So, Noah, sorry, yep. Well, she actually, that's the thing. I'm not Noah. You. Yes, you are. It says, says Noah on Skype. That's what I'm here to do. No, no, no. No, I'm not Noah you guess you are it says says Noah on Skype. That's one here. You are no I'm the demon God as you Yeah, I possess no like I don't know it's been like six days ago now and literally

Nobody has noticed You did what now? I mean like I've done this before. I mean, I'm not new to this demonic possession thing. Normally, just to rast me, voices enough to give it away. Yeah, no, it smokes a lot. Like a lot. No, I know. People have been saying, I sound better. So then I was like, you know, I was like, really mean to people, which is sort of a demon thing, but everybody was like, you know, whatever. I mean, the most I ever got was that somebody said I was a little grumpy. Oh

I mean, I don't how do we put this? Oh We're I want to say Use to it use to it But see I look I stood outside a church the The other day screaming about what a horror mother Mary was for an hour and a half and all they said was, we're just see you here on a Wednesday. Yeah, he usually goes Sundays. Yeah, he actually told me.

I said, okay, but then I got desperate, right? So I thought about the like the thing in the movie, the fuck me, Jesus thing, with the crucifix up my ass. I did that. That was you? Yeah, still. Still, nobody was you? Yeah, still. I, nobody was like, hey, Noah's acting really unusual. Nothing.

I gotta be honest, it's getting kinda depressing. No, I see that, I see that, and I sympathize, but honestly, you're, I mean, that crucifix in the ass thing was so good for Patreon. What did we make with it? Like, like, 150 hundred and fifty extra bucks? Yeah, yeah. Wait, hold on though.

Did you also possess Eli last September, by any chance? No. Yeah, no, that was just me. I made that choice. Go to a doctor. No. Yeah, this all tracks. Yeah.

And we're back for the breakdown, and we're gonna start off by meeting Dr. Williams Professor of bad mother fuckery and sweet sweet love making The opening music of this movie is better than nine tenths of the movie we've watched My very first note here is there is no black cast movie bad enough to have bad music right? is no black cast movie bad enough to have bad music right? Because like, we're looking at like hair in front of the lens bad camera work and the music is awesome. Yup.

Yeah. My first note here is somebody at this playground is about to fuck. And they will. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And who will fuck? The king of fucking cartoons. I'm sorry. I could not get over that the entire fucking movie.

Now, I know I'm old. I'm not speaking to our 30 and under crowd. When I say this, but the main character in this fucking movie, the star of blackula and blackula too, this was the king of fucking cartoons on Peewee's Playhouse. And that's all I could think about through this entire fucking movie. Which means that at some point that actor wandered over and he was like,

Hey, how's it going? Are you enjoying it? He was like, get the fuck away from me, man. I'm trying to have sex with these five women and two men at the same time. He was like, You know, then movies you're going to get caught jerking off to. I'm in a motherfucker. Can I watch? No. You release a CD. What do you do?

All right. So yes, so we meet the King of cartoons. He's the cool professor at college. He's about to go away to Nigeria for some studies and all the students have gotten together to throw him a little going away party. Oh, and the compliments here are fucking amazing. It's just students gathered around being like, you're so cool. You're like Indiana Jones, but with a bigger black or penis. Yeah, he's Illinois Jones. Yeah. That's true. That's true. And yeah, I'm going to Nigeria, but first I'm going

to shape this diamond with my amazing mustache and then you can finish. Okay. But there's one character in this scene who I need to discuss because she is religiously important to me. And that is open your fucking present, girl. Yes. obviously important to me. And that is open your fucking present, girl. Yes. Throughout this scene, one character will interspers every other piece of dialogue with, over your present. Open it.

Open your fucking breath. I was with him. If you don't open that present, I'm going to lose my goddamn life. Like. Well, and while she's trying to get him to open his present, everyone else is standing around expositing, right? Like literally the lights are like, why, as you the Nigerian God is a means son of a bitch that you should.

Open it. Yeah, right. But it's the lazyest fucking exposition you can imagine. It's just the main characters talking about the exposition, right? So but eventually he opens the exposition, right? So, but eventually he opens the goddamn present, right about the time she starts ripping her hair from her skull. And it's a giant crucifix.

So my notes at this point are, see Christian movie. Yes. Yeah. It's ridiculously oversized. Oh, yeah. It's Flava Flav's crucifix. What? Yeah, yeah, right.

And it's like bright silver and so bright that it seems like you should be able to like unwrap it and find some chocolate with puffed rice in it or something in there. Anyway, okay. So now we head to Nigeria for the credits and the credit font is too dark to see against the shadowy backdrops and that made me so happy you could read like one in three names. Now gentlemen, I have a question. I want to admit my own biases and be radically vulnerable here in the montage of the citizens of

Africa going about their day. Is there just a lady hitting the ground with a stick. Is that one of there's a team of Nigerian ground slappers dedicated tools for this ground slapping moving around a bowl. Yes, they do move. What does the movie think is happening in Africa. I wouldn't do. Yeah, my note here is Lululu Africa stuff, Africa stuff. The knowledge of Africa in 1974 was Africa equals safari stuff and ground slapping. Yeah, ground slapping. I mean, honestly, mud slapping could be the number one pastime in Nigeria. Like this movie doesn't know much about Africa. I'm sure, but it knew more than us. So, so Dr. Williams goes to the cave of plot devices, and I wrote my notes, good.

I was sick of all the lighting. It's so good. He's in this cave, and he like picks up just a piece of like chopped firewood is what he has. And he's like, look, I found some Nigerian wood. And one of the students is like, no, no, no, turn it slightly. There's there's there's a plot device. Look at the car.

And it's just like, oh, this enormously wrecked penis on the other side. I hadn't noticed it. It clearly got carved into the good thing. You told me to turn this. I was I was going to throw this away. I got to be honest. I was going to burn it. I thought it was in the way. Also, just sound note here. He is wearing, because I mean, obviously you wear your giant chains on safari. And he is also wearing a lava leermike, which means that this scene opens with kathash. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted him to be like, I'm sorry, I'm wearing a chain wallet.

Let me take this off. This is summer occasion. So yes, we turns over the, I don't know, the fucking hollow digerian demon tube. He notices that it has a carved penis. He strokes the carved penis for just a minute. And then they open it up, right? They're like, oh, this is hollow inside. We should open it up and find out what demons are inside. Yep.

And it turns out it was filled much like myself with dust and screams filled with dust and screams, the Eli Bosnian store. There you go. All of a sudden, yeah, there's the giant wind storm in this little cave. And they start flying in all the direction at once. It was just like, fuck, it was filled with wind from a mine. And they're just like grabbing things and doing stuff, but it none of it makes any sense. No, no, but important note here, first interior scene, wind storm in it. Just keep track of that. But yeah, there's a wind storm and there's dust and there's demon laughs and there's a clip of a slowly rotating demon head. We'll see again. And then we're back to the good

old us of a, where a family is moving into a house. Right. And the purpose of this scene is for the mom character whose name I never got mom a potter mom a potter. Thing mom a potter to take literally whatever sentence someone else says in the exposition and turn it into there's nothing better than a man and a woman sent it someone else just said. That is all she does. This isn't it. They'll be like, I love our new house. She'll be like, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

Nothing better than a man and a woman in a new house. Yeah. And everyone freezes because she hasn't added any information. And then they continue on. It's like she had a bet with the script. I can fucking, I'll just jazz my way through this. Don't write me any lines. All right. So we're going to meet the four key characters in this scene. We're going to meet Abby, the eponymous Abby. We're going to

meet Emmett. That's Abby's husband. We meet Mama Potter already. I mentioned and we meet Cass. This is Abby's brother. He's a cop. He shows up while they're moving in. Yeah. And the clothing in this movie, and I'm guessing in the whole decade of the 70s makes me so happy. Like, no, no, you were alive for some of the 70s. Did everyone dress like they're in a musical all the time? I mean, I was four when the 70s ended, but yes, like all the pictures of me. I feel like they did.

From that time, yeah. And I need to talk for just a second about how fucking beautiful Carol Speed is. Carol Speed plays Abby and Carol Speed is that sort of natural beauty that was only allowed for like 10 minutes between 1970 and 1980. And then they were like, no, cover it in, but she's just, she's shiny gorgeous and she's like this cult hit of everything and we won't get to do nine tenths of her movies including disco, Godfather and Black Samson. But she is.

I would be not to Black Samson. I feel like we do Black Samson. That's the word Samson in it. That's religious. I feel like we do black Samson has the word Samson and that's really down if you guys are down I'm fucking but she is she is a delight in this movie for a moment one and I just I needed to I Needed to declare it for the world to hear I needed on the digital record. Yeah, she was too good for this film Yes, and it gets better because she's gonna become like evil and aggressive and it's all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. So real quick, fill you in on the exposition here. Emmett is a pastor. This is a freehouse that was donated to his church that they won't have to pay taxes on.

So that's nice. I'm not saying anybody deserves demonic possession, but if anybody deserves demonic possession, that's exposition one. Exposition two, is that Abby just got her marriage counseling certificate and she's really, people need to calm down about it because she's on the verge of being too proud of that. Not sure how I understand how that's a possibility, but it's a sad life. Mm-hmm. And throughout this scene, how do we talk about this chicken? So they're eating chicken, which is problematic. They nearly do the goddamn spaghetti thing

from Lady of the Tramp with fried chicken. That's the thing is they do, you know that annoying couple who got married and then they did like a big video of them smashing wedding cake into each other's face. They do that with chicken. Throughout this scene, multiple, they're having a chicken fight. One of them turns into a dart board. They're playing chicken darts.

Is there a lot of, a lot of space work being done with this chicken? Honestly, like, I don't get the, like, the shove in the chicken in someone's face. Like, I'd ruin all this amazing chicken work. I just like eat it and be right. Thank you. Yeah. The way to what man's heart. I've he loses a finger.

All right. So late that night, the house is much creepier. Yes. I just want to point out that we first get an establishing shot of the witching hour of 11 o'clock. It's like they missed it, right? And didn't know they could roll it back. They're like, fuck guys, guys, we're late.

Set up the camera. So good. They're establishing shots in this movie are 90% of the movie. Oh, God. Pretty much all we get. So here we get like 10 minutes of just crazy loud cricket noise. And it's just like, we get it. It's nighttime. There's wolves howling at the moon for another 10 minutes of just crazy loud cricket noise. And it's just like, we got it. It's night time. There's wolves howling at the moon for another 10 minutes. And then they showed the clock at

11.03 until 11.13. So we get it. And like crickets having loud human conversations, it's nuts. Yeah. Every one of the establishing shots is like that. Yeah. So what we're seeing here is demons. I view of the interior of the house, but you don't realize that for a while because the demon got sucked into that clock for a solid six minutes. It's just watching. It's just like, no, what's this? The big hangy pension. I'm going to check this out. Sorry, demon. Demon. I better go possess somebody. So, yeah. so the demon goes up to the bedroom, slams the door and there's a whirlwind in the bedroom because it's an interior shot. Yep.

And husband wakes up and he's like, honey, did the whole house shake and almost collapse just now? And she's like, look, if you want to fuck, just be honest, you don't have to pretend there's a sex demon. No, really, I'm pretty sure I heard Eshu, the Nigerian prankster fuck demon. I don't, I'm not just making this up. The excuses men will make, am I right? Yeah.

No, he wakes up. He's like, hey, honey, did you feel a demon wind storm and shit? And she's like, no, I'm sure no, and I sleep like heath. And she's like, but while we're up,, and I sleep like heath and she is, she's like, but while we're up, we might as well both fuck. So they fuck. That exactly like you. No.

I'll be until then. Be a small spoon. That's it. All right, so the next morning, Abby's in the shower, and she starts having a very, very allowed orgasm. And that led me to believe perhaps Lucinda is possessed by demons, guys. Right? Yeah, it's like someone was setting up the psycho montage.

They were like, we're going to do like a psycho tribute and they're like, oh, that's super cool. Yeah, great idea. But then they got to see Carol speed in the shower and they were like, oh, new plan. You know, I was thinking maybe instead of the loudly master base. Well, I thought we were going to do a standing shut the fuck up, Kyle. What I love the most about this scene is we see her in the shower, you know, from the shoulders up orgasming for quite a minute.

And then we cut out to the psycho shot, right, to the silhouette in the shower. And they were going for like, there's a demon in there with her, but they fell short, I think. Nope. They were going for there's a demon in there, but it ends up as you're hogging the hot water. Right. Just like an enormous like grimace from McDonald's shower with her.

And he's just like, I'm fucking freezing over here. This is ridiculous. I'm not trying to be a dick, but I'm going to envelop you and get all the water. This is nuts. You know how like half your skin gets cold? I'm going to envelop you and get all the water. This is nuts. You know how like half your skin gets cold. I'm like the dark side of the moon over here. This is crazy. All right. Yeah. So I have no idea how to feel about that scene, but I loved it. So we move from that to Abby doing laundry in the basement. Uh, the wind slams the door closed and she's trapped in the basement. and I wrote my notes, oh, well, might as well masturbate some more. No, okay, different direction.

And the sound effect of the door closing, it's like they push the wrong button because it's a karate chop. The door closed. Whoop. Ah. Whoops. Nuts. He's like, hi, hi, yeah, door closed. Like, yeah. Like that door closed and somebody just learned wrist control at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. So she gets trapped and there's some growly demon noises and guess what? There's a giant wind storm in the basement, guys. I kid you not.

Now, third giant wind storm in the first eight minutes of this movie. And then she screams, but in a bad way this time. So the demons like, sorry, I was just fucking with you. Here. Yeah. She also goes, Emmett, which made me wonder if Emmett makes it a habit of locking her places as like a prey. All right. So now it's the next night. They have, they have the two outdoor establishing

shots, right? One for day and one for night. So we see the night one again. And Abby and Emmett are having dinner with her family and cast during this dinner asks about Emmett's dad, Dr. Williams in Nigeria. To which Emmett gets really, really defensive and is like, my dad doesn't have anyone to fuck. I have someone to fuck. What was the question? Sorry, this is someone. Oh, what's he doing in his archeology expedition? Well, you know, I just asked if he had unlocked any African demon grips recently, man, I don't know why you're he's not fucking. I could tell you that.

I fuck my wife. I fuck Carol's bead. He's definitely getting fucked by steam grimmis in the shower. Just in case you're wondering. Nancy Pelosi was going to say I was going to freak out. So that's why she clapped for us. All right. So yeah.

So eventually the, we close on a little Jesus joke, right? The brothers like, Hey, why are we drinking water? You're a guy turned this into wine and everybody laughs like the end of a Scooby-Doo episode. They, they freeze and then they realize they're not ending the scene on a piece. Oh, I thought, I thought someone was gonna, no, I don't have any wine for you. Get some whiskey then, this is waters. You invited me for dinner. Okay. Well, and then they go to toast to the new home, but all the glasses explode all at once.

And we completely ignore whatever consequences of that there might have been. That seems over now and we're at a church buffet with Abby and her mom. Like the cut was on a time delay. Like they freeze frame someone called cut, but they had to slow down the 1970s camera by stopping the horse that was powering it. So it cuts 22 seconds to lay. All right, so we see Mama Potter again, who I love. She is auditioning for a fucking lice all commercial in every single scene. But in this, this is the scene where they're

raw, they're cutting up chicken. Again, second time chickens come up. It's the movie guys. It's not us. But she is demon possessed. So she gets like super duper into the chicken blood. And this is the first time, but not the last that Carol will demonstrate possession by. You ever put peanut butter on a dog's nose? That is what Carol's We'll do to demonstrate her possession. Just like, nah, nah. But okay, I'm sorry, what I love the most about this scene, even before she starts freaking out about it, is they have to like, you know, it's the Christian space work thing. They had to have a couple of lines there for them to say before the, before the blood and obsession began or whatever.

So what they chose is Teehee, sister green shirt as a silly laugh and someone saying, boy, why did God make chickens next so long? That's what they came up with. He's cut over to Ray Comfort. You see how the chickens neck fits right into your hand for swinging it around? It's got to be able to transfer the sins into, you see, it's, it's, it's, Jewish people were great beta testers. All right.

But yeah, so she sees the chicken blood, gets all orgasm again, and then she starts chopping her arm open. Look, we've all been there. Have we, though? And they, but nobody acknowledges it. She's like for a good five minutes, just like, all right, well, I've been staring at my bloody hands for a while. Now I'm going to slowly cut into my arm, looks around.

Oh, nobody, okay. I mean, I thought I would get some attention there. Cut slowly, cutting some, and no, it's like, hey, sorry to bother you, but if I'm off base, you know, please correct me. Any bother you, but if I'm off base, you know, please correct me. Any chance you're slipping your wrist with a giant knife like somebody needs to come in. They wait until she gets to like her shoulder and then they're like, okay, the shoulders

far enough. I'm on. John on. Well, and when I love the mo, okay, so this is a 70s movie. So you have to expect us from the scene of her shopping or arm up. We cut immediately to her husband talking to the doctor without her in the room about what just happened. And this, oh, man, this doctor, he's the origin of the opiate crisis. He's like, gave her something to help her sleep and some heroin. Tell her not to cut her arm open again. All right, I'm a doctor. Bye. Also, yes, has she been depressed lately?

And her husband's like, oh no, it's 1974. Depression won't exist for like 30 years. So yeah, no she's fine. Cool, bye. Yeah. Yeah. Did you want to talk directly to the person who cut her own wrist or maybe in the docs?

Like, yeah, yeah. let me just talk to the woman about her own medical care classic. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, sadly with mom. And she's crying like a goddamn three-year-old at this point, very annoying scene. This was an interest, yeah, this was a weird choice. She's like having a tantrum about it. Yeah, right? Also, mom's solution for her stabbing herself? A cold towel.

This is some tussin, little tussin. Yeah. All right, so now we cut to church. Abby sings in the church choir and she's nailing it, chopped up arm and all, right? This is the most baby making Jesus music you have ever heard, which is good because we get four and a half minutes of it during this establishing shot. Yes, the church. It's the national anthem. It is wild. Was there a really long, like, subtitle I missed during this establishing shot that we're supposed to be reading?

Like, if it was excessive this time, even more than normal. I will say there's one moment, it was worth it because there's one great moment where there's this very large gentleman in the very back pew who has a fucking headache and is done with this establishing shot. He makes it all worthwhile. But yeah, so she sings for us and now the husband is gonna preach for us. And as he prays, the demon inside Abby starts getting super uncomfortable.

I'm like, ooh, make her come again, but it doesn't. No, she does the loud coughing and church thing. Yeah. And again, nobody's acknowledging the clearly like demon She does the loud coughing and church thing. Yeah. Yeah. And again, nobody's acknowledging the clearly like demon thing that's happening to her again. This is the same woman who likes sliced her arm open because of a demon yesterday. And like the pastors are just like, yeah, yeah, she's fine. You know, as I was saying, God is love.

Like nobody don't, don't bother with it. Like are there lots of invisible demon choking false alarms at this church that they like? Well demon or no when somebody's choking a death behind you, you think you'd say something you think you'd do more than the like over the shoulder Half look at the asshole of the movie theater who's talking too much. That's all her husband does. She throws a man through a door and vomits on him and the church is like typical. Yes. Yes. Yes. So that's how it how it all ends. They they start to try to get her up off of the the stage so she won't fuck up the sermon. She freaks out throws a guy through a door and pukes on him. So that night Emmett sitting on his steps with that, my wife just threw a dude through a door

and puked on him look on his face. When the phone rang there. Also shirtless for no reason. Well, let's let's face it, there was a reason. So the phone rings, it's Emmett's dad in Nigeria. Right. And he answers the phone. Yes, yes, that's like the first, he picks up and that's what he says.

And then an operator comes on and is like, hi, you answered the phone weird. I have your dad online. Is that how, like, how did phones work in 1974? You call an operator and you're like, figure this fucking out. I don't know, get back to me whenever you get my dad in Nigeria. If you were trying to call Nigeria, yes, absolutely. I'm sure that was how it worked in 74. You call somebody and you go like,

all right, I got a tricky one for you. Carol, down at the minstrel, I've got one that'll bang a noodle. Connect me to Nigeria. All right. So yeah, so he's talking to his dad. He's like, hey, do you have any advice on You know, demon possessed wives that puked on people and shit and He's being euphemistic here. Yes. He can't stop downplaying it so that his dad thinks it's absolutely not a big deal He's like yeah, Abby's been acting alright. She vomited and and then threw a guy through a door weird lately

Yeah, he says she's just not her. It sounds like he's describing PMS. Yeah, right. You got to specify dad's not imagining attacking a guy and puking on him when you say not herself. No, nothing. Nothing serious, just normal. Almost stuff, just a couple weird things. Any chance you released a penis demon. Cause that would explain a lot. What? No. I don't even understand. Stan, like Eshu the Nigerian penis pranks.

I mean, what? Right. No. All right. So that night, Emmett comes in with a very, very small dish towel just barely wrapped around his groin's ready to fuck. Oh, and some, and some biblical dirty talk. What?

Look, I try the same thing with Anna with similar results. She kicks me in the penis and laughs at me and he's not great. Okay. So you walk at you say, I am black and cumley a lot. That's one of your lines. Let me just say it hasn't worked out for me. So yeah, honestly, most people stop me and I'm black. I don't really get time, cumley, most of the time.

If you're not wearing the towel, right, you got to, I don't know, it's about the towel. You need a smaller towel. But yeah, she reacts by kicking him in the fucking dick and then dancing on the bed and laughing like a child again. Which I mean whatever you're into, right? It's not for me to judge. Right, but then it cuts to him having a conversation with the brother

and again, he's being euphemistic. He's like, hey, when you were kids, did Abby ever, and he doesn't say kick you in the penis and vomit on people is like, um, act weird, act weird. Yeah. She ever act out of the ordinary in her entire childhood, or would you say your entire childhood fell within the margin of ordinary. Did she ever laugh like the Joker just kicked Batman in the penis after that man tried to fuck him. Anything like that? No. Okay. And he says no. So so Emmett goes with

his other possibility. He's got him in mind. He's like, okay. So as a cop, you're familiar with a lot of high people, is there a kick your husband in the balls and puke on his congregants kind of drug that she might be on or. Yep. I mean, I don't know where he is. There he is. There he is. It's called bad salts, man. But cast takes offense to this. Not only is she not on drugs, but she's damn not on drugs.

And okay, so then we cut to that that night at that house establishing shot that they have, which we're seeing now for the fourth time. And Abby is doing her first marriage counseling. She starts with a prayer book, so I'm pretty sure she fails, right? Yep. Good to know that the demon doesn't make her marriage counseling services anywhere. No. Yeah, but then Emmett comes in during her marriage,

which seems a little weird, right? Wouldn't you think he's like, you mind if I sit in? I just, I love to watch your work. So you were saying, you think you're gay and you've cheated on her with men and you don't know if you can stop. I love to watch. I love to watch. Carrie, I was listening to the door.

There's not room on this love seat, but I'm going to smash it anyway. I'm going to sit inside of you for the rest of today's counseling. But then when Emmett comes back in, Abby goes all demon voice again. And nobody acknowledges that ever in the movie once when she switches to like the guy from scream with the modulator on the phone, like all of a sudden she's yelling and in that movie. No. Once when she switches to like the guy from scream with the modulator on the phone, like all of a sudden, she's yelling and in that voice and nobody ever says anything. No. No. In fact, everybody acts as though she looks and is acting totally normally. She's just saying slightly different things, right? Because what she says is, I've got

to take you upstairs and fuck the shit out of them. And they're like, well, that's, that's one answer. Can we hear other options? Again, still better than the prayer book. Does her voice seem raspy? I want, I feel like we're focusing on the content of what she said. Now, now I want to talk about the voice, but no, none of that. So, yeah, so Emmett freaks out. She starts like ripping her clothes off, trying to fuck the husband or husband to be that she's counseling her, whatever. So Emmett carries her into the bedroom and has a very stern, like, stop echoing so much when you laugh talk with her. He really does. And then she rapes him. Yep. I want it so badly for it to flash cut to

another phone call. Hey, Dad, never mind. It's awesome. It is. You ever get punched in the face? That's the best. We'll take notes. I'll talk to you when you get back from Nigeria. Just you ever heard of pegging? Why are there open as many wooden things as you can? That's why you're there open as many wooden things as you can. That's all I can say. Keep. Seriously, if you see, if you see anything with a dick carved on it, you open that shit. You see a bottle of oval team, just crack that shit open just in case I'm telling you. All right. So now we got to an old white lady showing up at the house the next day. Again, at length, right? The establishing shots all have to be 11 minutes.

I wanted her so badly to be like, hello, I hear this is where someone get the shit beat out of them. I'm here to be a pig bitch. Yes. I'll black sheet the windows. Let's get this shit started. All right, so she shows up at house. Nobody answers the door. So she just goes in because it's the 70s, fuck it. And she goes actually all the way into the bedroom.

And she's like, hey there, Abby, I'm Miss Wiggins, the organist. We know each other. So it's odd that I would introduce myself in this way. Ha ha ha ha. Just here to hang out. Nothing related to arm stabbing, projectile vomiting or. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She had a child out of wedlock. Oh, because now is this pre or post the exorcist? I post because they stole this entire thing about it. They got sued for it and had to take it out of the theater.

Because this scene is the exorcist, but like the demon doesn't have anything good to say is just like you dare enter my room, Jay Walker. I will. Mary go round you. What are we? We will do that. My God. Ring around the Rosie of death.

Yeah. He he he spins her. The demon spins her too fast and and slap sir, which which leads me to this. He have you considered your dad might have just been possessed through most of your time. I don't know. This was a tender moment. What you mean exactly?

All right. It's just encouraging that white lady to be better a better person. That's how you learn. Okay. It's just a quick note for the screen writers on this one. You can't say I want to play a rhyming game in a scary way. Okay. That's just not a possible thing. You've got a decent actress here.

She's not going to nail that. It's not possible. Also, if you want a character to play a rhyming game, they should rhyme for more than I would say one line. It's like the way we will go. You that's what you know. Anyways, I'm gonna murder you. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Give you a spinny ring around the rosy heart attack orange. Shoff. Silver. Duh. Purple. Oh god damn it. All right. So door hitch wrench with orange.

Well, the NERPEL. NERPEL, I'm gonna go back. Go back. We're doing an AmeriCor with orange. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no gets home and here's the demon upstairs shouting about how much fun it's having killing Mrs. Wiggins. Yep. He was like, killins the best. Super, but wait, shut up. Shut up. My husband's home. Yeah, right.

Right. I'm behind the bed or something. Oh, you're dead. Yep. He comes up. It's too late. Mrs. Wiggins is dead. And then we cut to Emmett and the doctor on the porch again where he delivers the spectacular

understatement, the line of the movie right after all of this, the doctor turns to Emmett and goes, this is all very unusual. That is his reaction to a fucking possession and murder. You had to be ready for some shit in the 70s, I guess. Was she already a demon by any chance. No, there's not something like that. Well, I'm stumped. I am stumped.

Did we do the heroin? Yeah, we did. I know no idea. No idea. What's great is he questions the heroin. He's like, Hey, is there anything in those pills that might have? And he's like, that was pure cocaine, my friend. I am insulted.

Yeah, I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Yeah, Christopher, that I won't, my friend. I am insulted. Yeah. I'll dare you. Yeah. Christopher, that I won't tell you what the smoother cigarette is. Yeah. No, but the doctor's very clear. Your wife's not high. She's fucking nuts.

And then we had back to Nigeria. It's very rainy there. We have a nine minute establishing shot of how rainy it is. I stopped to play Toto here. I think we all stopped. And if you at home would like to stop the play Toto, we totally understand. And you know who would appreciate it, Toto, because they would not be green. No, decade for them. All right. So Emmett's, this is Emmett's dad and he's getting another call from Emmett. And Emmett's like, you know, my wife just killed someone. I've been trying to get through you to you for two hours.

I'm like, wow, there were better uses of your two hours than that. Yep. So, and keep in mind from Emmett's dad's perspective, from Dr. Williams's perspective, it goes straight from, she hasn't been herself lately to, she just killed someone with a heart attack. Yep. It escalates very quickly in his mind. And, but dad knows what's happening here, because he released the demon and he knew that,

right? So he's just like, Hey, son, you enjoy getting punched in the face and fuck. I mean, how's everything? I just, you good? Or, yeah. So Abby murdered an old lady. I'm good other than that. I guess, um, pegging is the best though. That was so good. Yeah.

Well, what I love here too is like, you know, okay, maybe the dad's figured out what was going on, but why the fuck would Emmett think she needs a world class archaeologist right now? Right? Like, what does he think his dad's gonna do? He just got so many compliments at the beginning of the movie that everyone will assume he can do all things throughout. I guess. Yeah. I love at one point, dad's on the phone here and he looks over at, you know, one of his students or like to the Nigerian guy who's like in his office. And he's like, he is a demon murdered and old lady. Well, I don't talk to your boy. Like, figure this out. This is ridiculous.

I might be a while. So yeah, so he agrees to come home early and help, but what? After he hangs up the phone, there's a wind fight, the cyclone in the room that he's in because God damn it. It's a set. That's right. They paid for that wind machine and they're going to get their monies were damn aren't they? All right. So now Abby is at the hospital getting terrifying 70s medicine. Okay. Thank you. Old-timey medicine is it's like metal, but like it's attached to leeches so they're putting them on with tongs. Is that what this like this is she's getting put in like the clockwork orange like torture machine. I didn't what was this supposed to be? It was like a torture machine slash carnival ride that was going on above her there. At one point, there was a sentient robot doing

the like back and forth head bob thing at her. I don't know what that was for. That's a fucking thing in this hospital. Looked like something from a 50s movie about the 2000s. Ha ha ha. All right, so but the end result of this big long brain test montage is that there's nothing physically wrong with her brain. The doctor thinks maybe she should see a psychiatrist. Right.

To which mama explains that she is absolutely not mentally ill because she's a good Christian girl. Yep. Yep. Mom reacts worse to the she might be mentally ill than you would expect from she's got cancer of the everything. And one of the reasons she knows that the daughter can't be mentally ill is because she's a single mother who did her best. Yep. She's a good Christian. Therefore she can't be mentally ill. Mom reacts worse to your daughter might be mentally ill than she does to her daughter

slicing her arm open with a knife. Yep. And I'm sorry, like question for mama, what non-psychiatric condition did you have in mind that would cause the dick kicking arm-cutting boob flashing old lady heart attack ring around the rosy-ing to death behavior you've seen. Is there a flu that makes you kill people with a dick spray? I see it on the x-ray right here. Okay, but she's going gonna stay in the hospital.

Apparently Emmett hasn't learned his lesson from the first dick kick because he comes in to see her in the hospital room. Emmett, throughout this movie, will never not fall for a demon trick. At one point, I wanted the demon to sit him down and give him a pet top and just be like, Emmett, buddy, come on down.

Just because I talk and have these voice. She's not better. All right. So here I'm going to try it and don't believe me. Okay. So I'm all better now. Baby, you're all better now. See, this is what I'm talking about. Even, even give your heads up that time. You're taking the fun out of this. Can I be honest with you? You kind of reckon this for me. I can't up the difficulty setting or some of the tricks to God. I kind of need someone to trick. Taking the sport was dumb as Jesus' disciples. This doesn't work.

All right. So anyway, but yeah, so he goes to the room. Abby, of course, is all sweet and giggles when the nurse is in the room. But as soon as she leaves, it's back to the dick kickin' demon, right? And the demon, okay, I don't know what the demon's plan is exactly here, but the demon thanks him for calling his dad and bringing him back in the film. I think because the dad let the demon out,

the demon's goal is the dad in the end. How did he wind up at the fucking sun's wipe? Okay, anyway. Yeah. Daughter-in-law seems like a weird route to go for vankful vengeance. Yeah. I don't know.

Exactly. All right, so we see Dad's plane landing and you can tell just from the fucking soundtrack how bad asked this motherfucker is, right? Oh, right. But you can be here to be here to be here to be you. All right, so Dad gets back, Emmett meets him at the airport bad ass this motherfucker is right. You can be out to boot, to boot, to boot, to you. All right, so dad gets back,

Emmett meets him at the airport, and he says, and he warns him, right? He's like, hey, you know, Abby has completely changed mostly in bad ways, but you know, don't be surprised if she force blows you when you come in. There are some good and some bad, mostly bad things though. I'm trying to get rid of very specific things

about this demon. That's what I'm telling you, dad. I you. If you get rid of the entire demon, you will have failed. That's what I'm telling you. That's very important that I communicate that now. Alright. Alright, so now we come back to Abby at the hospital, at the hospital for a moment because she's storming the fuck out, knocking shit over, pushing things for no reason. Yeah, she manages to escape this hospital by shoving. Shaving is what it takes to escape this hospital.

Well, to be fair, most hospitals aren't super worried about you escaping, right? You're usually just allowed to leave. It's mostly the little three-year-old temper tantrum at the store she pulls on her way out that fucks him up. Yep. So this demon's plan was threatened the father-in-law and then mildly mess up a stack of papers at the hospital. Yeah. Yeah. It's like fuck your memo outbox nailed it. Now you don't know what you've done and haven't done. Now that I've crossed from the spirit into the human world, I have two goals. Destroy Illinois Jones and make their email back up worse.

All right, well, too much bad is too good and that's a bad thing. So we're gonna pause for a quick break, but first let me give Ack three the hard sell. Do you guys think we could get away with doing Blackula crosses kill vampires, right? That's religious, isn't it? Find out the answers to different questions and more when we return for the bombastic conclusion of Abby. Okay, guys, gather round.

Yeah, boss. Come here. All right. So, elephant in the room here. Let's just get this out of the way. We had our first escape this week here at St. Mary's Hospital for the rarely monitored. Yeah, we did. Oh, that is my bad.

Sorry about that. Well, you know, it's all of our bad. You know, I don't want everybody to blame Nick. Nick is part of the problem, but we all bear some responsibility here. So I want to hear solutions. How can we prevent things like this from happening in the future? Um, can I, can I go? Go, go, go right ahead. No wrong answers. So I was thinking, uh, what if we put up a poster, you know, in the hall that says, like, please don't escape. Love it.

Love it. Communications is great. Uh, Nick, you had mentioned something about the shoving. Right. Yeah. So, um, you know, the lady who escaped, uh, she shoved me like, I mean, she shoved me pretty hard. Like really hard.

I'm here for you, man. Push me. We're all here for you. Thank you. Thank you. It was, it was rough. So I was thinking, you know how we have the fire extinguishers everywhere? What if we had like glue also in all those places?

So if someone was going to come shove you, you could very quickly, because it would be available right there, you could glue your feet to the floor. So if they couldn't shove you, you would stay if they tried to do that. You know what, Nick? I think that's a great idea. Absolutely. Yeah. I was excited when I came over there.

So she shoved you. Dude, right in the shoulder, like right there. Oh, that hurts. So she shoved you. Dude, right in the shoulder, like right there. Oh, that hurts. It does. It does. It is very emasculating also. And we're back for more of this shit. We're gonna open up on Emmett and his dad getting home to Emmett's place from the airport.

And I just wanna say this bothers me from a writing perspective. So goddamn much every time a scene starts with someone saying, so what you're saying is I die that much more. Okay. And again, in this movie, all it does is expose the ridiculousness, right? Because he's like, oh, sorry, let me get you back. So you're saying she's haunted by a demon. She tried to murder herself. Then she murdered a old lady and now she's on a fuck patrol. God. And the exact words here were, so what you're saying in other words is all the tests were negative.

So what were the other words? Yeah, right. And why were they confusing and in need of clarification? What are you talking about there? So I was just trying out my French there for a say. All right, so they walk in the house and dammit Abbe is already there pretending not to be a

demon. She's doing such a bad job pretending not to be a demon. Welcome, everybody. I propose nothing. Penis demons can't fly across the Atlantic. Also, hello, father. We're that I said that first, just a hello. He's all I want meant to say hello today. In time. So okay. So they, she, they retired to the parlor and she immediately has her hands all over dad's deck, right?

Well again, I love I want this movie from the demons perspective, right? He's a trickster fuck demon and he's trying to fake it as a human woman and he's like, ah, how about the human activity of A threesome with my father? No, that's not a not a thing you guys do. God, you're boring No, that's not a not a thing you guys do. God, you're boring I'm sorry I was I was thinking the mildest thing that three people could do that's just you never fuck this time and you never That's time and night jib bag of father son combo who doesn't want to do that You guys have a stick we could hit the ground with for a while. I don't know. I'm out of ideas you come up with something No, I don't want to play board game because I don't want to get it out. That's why. I read the box. Come on. All right. So, but yeah, but she's hitting on that. But dad knows the succubus when he sees one. Damn it. And he's like, you know, stay away from me, Vile demon,

which you got to figure is at least once or twice cost him some pussy. Right? Yeah. I don't know. He's a good looking dude. If I was going for it and he was like, stay away, Vile demon. I would try for at least 10 or 15 more minutes. Oh, okay. All right.

I'm going to be like, okay, I hear you, but on the other hand, I can fit my fist in my mouth. That's all I'm saying. Can I call you black, you know? I love that dad here is like, all right, well, she's a demon. So, uh, son, you should probably, uh, actually, I don't know, uh, grab her. I don't know. Can you, that turns out to be a good demon out? It's no, like toothpaste, right?

No. Yeah, it turns out to be a mistake. He tries to grab her. She throws them across the room. Right. And she turns and delivers this line when I'm ready. I'm going to get your ass. And then she knocks him down with a force push. So can I can I try that again? I said get your ass. That was my. I'm trying

to just improvise some demon trash talk here and I felt kind of forced. I said, get I don't know. I'll be up your balls. What is happening? Right now. Just roll it back over and just shake it out. Shake it out. You're being weird. You're being weird. Honestly, I'm thrown. There was medical technology that I was fascinating with. And it's your your demon. You're going to get me somehow. What do you got? What do you got? What do you got? Just this first thing first thing first thing get you a pizza pizza. Well, I want that. I'm a little hungry.

And so that was all right. Well, let's get a pizza. We'll get back. We'll come back to this. All right. We'll work on it. Let's get that pizza though. All right. So I didn't want to do this, but I rebuked you by the way. And she's like, yeah, cool story. Force push. Right. Yeah. So, yeah. So she boaha hazer way out of the room. And then, of course, they turn on the fucking win machine. It's the best. I think they surprised the actors in this scene. I think they all got together and they're like, hey, man, the fucking win machine doesn't

make any sense. We've done it in every single interior shot. We got to stop. And Kevin, the win machine guy was like, okay, yeah, whatever. And then we're like, really? And he was like, yeah, no, I won't turn it on. And they were like, why don't you feel it? Out of the stage then.

No, I'm just gonna leave it here, okay? But I'm not gonna turn it on. Really? I'm not gonna. Your hands on the dial. Just, don't turn it on. Just do the scene. Just do the scene. I'm just gonna stand near it.

Yeah, so, but the wind starts, and dad starts call it like Dr. Williams Illinois Jones starts calling upon God to stop the wind and there's demon flashes and everything. Ultimately God does win the whirlwind fight though. He does. Yeah. And Emmett runs off to stop Abby, but she's taking the car. So he carjacks a white lady. Yep.

Yeah. He's a pastor, that's not a, that's a cop thing. That's not just a guy thing. I feel like though under Riffra, you can probably get away with it. Oh, absolutely. Scalia would be right there in the seat next to him. You got to do the one, you got to do the one. Really?

Scalia fucking opposed Riffiff, but yeah. Anyway, so yeah, so a bunch of cops are now congregating at the Williams house because of, you know, the car jacking, luckily, cash shows up the her brother, Abby's brother, and he's like, hey, you know, we're family. So don't shoot this one when you arrest him, huh? The least realistic thing in this movie is that a black man gets out of the car and pulls a cop aside to be like, how about we let this one go? He's a cop.

He's a detective in this police department. So he shows up and he's like, hello, fellow 1974 Kentucky policemen. Thanks for being so cool about this. Yeah, race relations are only going to get better for me. And Kentucky, yeah, we're pretty much nail in it. Yeah. Okay. And then I love this scene so much because they don't really deal with the awkwardness at all. Dr. Williams has to take Casaside and explain to him that his sister has been possessed by an African fuck

demon. So we move from, from him to having this conversation to, we get a quick shot of Emmett driving around in this stolen car looking for Abby. And I just, I love this moment of him realizing, wait, this isn't going to work. I can't just drive down all of the road. He's here, demon. He's here, demon. He's here, demon. Also accompanied by the most upbeat music possible. Oh my god. We need to eliminate these forces or she'll die.

Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam he's, he drives around, I guess, for a while thinking, if I were an African fuck demon, where would I go? But eventually he stops at a phone booth to call somebody and say, hey, this was a dumb fuck. This wasn't really worth car jacking.

Is that some wind over there? Oh, it's regular. It's just regular wind I saw. It's so air-moving. Younger listeners, a pay phone is the... Actually, I have no idea what they were for. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no idea what they were for No, right now. Yeah, exactly so I'll handle this one So he walks into the phone booth

But before you can even drop in his quarter. Jesus 74 before you can even drop in his dime. Yeah, the phone ring is Hey penny His fresh dozen of eggs Yeah, before he can get his change out, the phone rings, he answers it. It's the demon eventually. No, where he hangs up for a second and then he listens again. It's just the demon and his friends doing prank calls like this middle school body. Let me do it. I got it.

No, I asked for Mr. Whitehead, but his name's blackhead. It's great. Boobies click. Sorry. I said, I said boobies. It's the first thing I thought of. Yeah, so but the demon says, I have a message for you, for you, from your wife. And boobies. No. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. That's basically always got all right so meanwhile it elenoidjos is still trying to explain possession to the cops right and again like there's no mythology here so he's just like according to legend stay with me here

he's a fuck god yeah right and the description here is that it's a god named Eshu who stole all the dick powers. Yes, other gods too. And combined, he's like a bulltron of big black dicks. That's the god. And that's amazing to me. I just look, I couldn't get that visual out of my head. I was haunted in a lovely way. Do you remember the film The One with Jetly, that masterpiece of cinema? It's that, but with Dix, everybody. Yeah, I was about to say,

were there Dix and Voltron of Dix and that that I missed? Okay. All right, but the key here. But the key here though is that Dr. Williams realizes that as long as he can get the help of castenemmon, he can use his archaeology knowledge to exercise her demon. Spoiler alert. No, he will not.

No. Yeah. So I hope in a piece of wood, funny story, penis demon decided to fly right out and fly to Kentucky from Nigeria to possess my daughter-in-law. That is seriously the plot right now. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, and also, again, I want to see this movie from this demon's perspective, right?

He's just on one of those long haul flights from Nigeria. His TV doesn't work on the back of his screen. He's like, oh, God, this is like a 27 hour. This is bullshit. I guess I could fuck work on the back of his screen. He's like, oh, God, this is like a 27 hour, this is bullshit. I guess I could fuck someone on the plane. That just feels like, yeah. So, all right, so now the phone rings. We're over at, we're over at Abby and Emmett's house,

the phone rings cast answer. It's not his fucking house. He doesn't get the answer. And it's Emmett on the line. Emmett's like, I just got a phone call from demon Abby. She didn't say where she was, but I heard dance music, so we'll check every place that has speakers in it ever. And they do. Maybe, maybe have the cops help with that with, no, anywhere with musical. This is this detective cast be on

look out for a woman near music. Possibly a penis demon. There might be wind. What do you mean my kind? That's a stupid question. Just look for a woman near music. And then cast has an absolute the craziest moment in this movie where Cass turns to the doctor and he goes, Dr. Shooi maybe. Let this go. You know, yeah. Yeah. Just sort of clap hands.

Just like that back away motion. I'm out. My sister's a Christian marriage counselor. That's so useless. It's almost hyperbolic. Do we want to go to all of this trouble so the world can have another Christian marriage counselor that's so useless is almost hyperbolic do we want to go to all this trouble so the world can have another Christian marriage counselor. You know when like your wife is talking about something and then you're trying to help her see someone else's point of view and then she starts

crying and you just sort of whatever it is that you thought five seconds ago you don't think anymore should we do that but with this demon. You, I'm just like, hey, I'm on your side. Yeah, the demons. I mean, I mean, I'm it's getting fucked constantly right now. And yeah, okay. The red thing. So yeah, so he leaves to go help find looking all the places with speakers with with him. It Illinois Jones stays back to get ready for the upcoming demon battle to slowly prepare with a Victorian lantern. Yeah. So you're going to look for music in all of Louisville. Well, that's a dumb plan. I'm going to stay here and prepare some magic in this house.

Yeah. All right. So now we cut to the most seventies bar. You can imagine. All right. So now we cut to the most 70s bar. You can imagine. All right. Listen, are you ready? Picture Noah and Lucinda meeting. You just did it. You pictured this bar. You did it, everybody. This bar is entirely done in orange paisley, right? The walls, the couches, the floors, all orange pais paisley, that the music is, we, you know, we open on the disco ball, of course. Obviously. And there's, there is no way to describe any outfit in this room without sounding like you're having a nervous breakdown and the cops need to put you somewhere safe. So no shirt, but a fur cape and bell bottoms made out of jean on one leg and mesh on the other.

You will look around this bar and you could be like, yeah, I see how this decade gave us a query of shoes. Oh, and there is so much goddamn lapel in this room. There's a good square mile of lapels in this room. There's like, there's a good square mile of lapels in this park. Like, if that demon starts a wind storm, these people are tacking and jiving with their lapels and flare bottom pants like they're winning a regatta. Sully's saying, Sully could land nine tents to the people in this room. It's amazing. And disseined by the way is directly from Donald Trump's nightmare.

It's like Donald Trump is terrified. He wakes up in a cold sweat because he was naked in this disco bar full of beautiful black people dancing and like Nancy Pelosi, right behind him golf clapping. That's his every night. And the best. And also, by the way, I hope you enjoy this bar because we will have a music videos worth of establishing shot of it. Oh, right. We should point out again, it's why you it's better for us to watch the movies and tell you about them. At this point, this film entirely forgets, it is not a music video and spends the rest of the movie back and forth between an

editor fight where it's like, dude, it's a horror movie about an exorcism or is it bound to be a real bad old man. Maybe we make two movies. All right. So we have actually Abby comes in. The guy that she threw out of the door and puked on it, churches is there. So she apologizes to him and offers to fuck him to make up for it.

Oh, and she heats her so hard. She's funny. She's funny. So maybe you could give me a ride and he's like, oh, do you live on the east side? Because I don't want to go out of the way. I'm on the west side. You get an Uber to go out of the way. I'm like, the West. You get an Uber.

We can get two different Overs and then text about how that went later. I mean, you can test. But eventually he does offer a ride and then she and him lead all the characters we know are no longer in the bar. And we just stay there until the song is over Because someone was at that cameraman and they were like all right, scenes over and he was like the party's not bad Yeah, I'm convinced that that's how the whole last act of this movie happened. They couldn't get that cameraman out of that fucking bar It was so fun in the bar though. It looked amazing.

I think I learned to dance while I watched the scene. Oh, well, that is sure. Fun fact, you did not. Let me try it. Hold on, let me try it. Nope, hurt myself. Oh, I'm gonna hurt myself. This is why we need to go.

All right, so point Dexter and Abby getting his limo. He has a limo. I don't know why he drives the hers for the church, but when they don't have dead people, he drives the limo for the church, I guess. Unclear, unclear. So anyway, they write off and she fucks the shit out of them and then goes demon mid-fuck.

Well, he killed it by saying Jesus. And that he can't stop thinking about her husband. Okay, I get it. Yeah, yeah, the demon doesn't want to fuck around Jesus's name. I get it. And I'm going to be perfectly honest. Like, I cannot imagine a sex scenario where I'm thinking about this woman's husband and it doesn't help. Yeah. Right. Right. Good. Look at me. Absolutely. Yeah. But she, uh, she twists his head off and sets the call so fire he is the you have to push down on the head before you turn it or it won't come off and you but yeah so she twists his head off I think is what they want us to think happened

and then the car is just cheat and changing for some reason I think so much I think she fucked him into a steam cloud. Like she fucked him so hard, he turned into steam. Or maybe that was just the friction, right? Like there was smoke rising up between the dick and the vagina there. At that point, I don't know. And she was just mad or for three years,

from 1974 to 1977, you could fuck someone into steam. We've all forgotten how to do it. It's like water bending. Yeah. I wanted that guy to just like start taking his dick out and then she's like, no, we're doing a merry go round thing. We're doing. Stop it.

All right. So now we head over to the church where Illinois, Jones is preaching to an empty room, getting ready for the, for the, like basically he's having a pep talk with God. He's like, all right, God, you can do this one more of these demons. I wrote that his prayers are super passive aggressive because it's like in the name of the one and only God, despite the fact I'm literally chasing a different God. So I guess best God would be a better descriptor. But I know how much you love to pretend. I mean, be the only one. So go you. And while he's doing that, by the way, Emmett is literally visiting all the places with music. We see a montage. If it's got music and black people, we're going to see it. But anyway,

so we cut from the montage of checking all the places with music and black people we're gonna see it. But anyway, so we cut from the montage of checking all the places with music and black people in them to go back to that same orange bar that they can't get the camera man to leave. Yep. We get a full establishing shot of it again, you're including mixing drinks to the whole nine. Oh, and the worst fucking bartender, God, like learn to free pour really. Using the little thing. Come on. It's a count. You count to five count. That's an ounce and a quarter. It's so easy. There you go. That's a bet also bothered Eli and I he's absolutely. You got to count to an ounce and a quarter and then you'll get five ounces. You were a bartender. God, so I was literally the worst bartender imaginable.

Take the worst thing, take Hitler, tending bar outside of Paris, Hilton's home, and I'm worse than that. I see. All right. So Abby is back to find herself another fucked victim. She's back in the orange bar again. And she found a little white dude who apparently his thing is a woman making fun of how small as dick is because that's doing it for him.

Oh, I just, I loved that white guys have always had one move and it's celebrity impersonation. I don't know who he's supposed to be doing because it's 1974 but he's like, yeah, my little chick at A and she's like, that's irritating. You have a small penis and he's like, little chickety and she's like that's irritating you have a small penis and he's like my wife. Like that's we've had one move since 1974. Some white guys focus on content instead of impressions. Not everybody does that. Even when somebody tells him to do a voice. All right, so cast and emitter are still driving around like they were in it thought we were in a fucking buddy cop show check it all the bars and

The the montage seems to recognize what a hopeless endeavor this would be because it goes on for god damn ever Oh the bar names are In sync what haha Seven up gay something whiskey fuck, like they're this creatures laminated placard. Well two things, gay fuck, or gay whiskey fuck, hutch would be a fantastic bar. I would love to go to either way, but they literally go to a place called, I paused it. It was called gay 90s, topless and bottomless go-go girls. That sounds amazing. What could they possibly mean by 90s? I feel like it's women in their 90s. Very old

lesbians. That is all it can mean. be completely naked very old lesbians. And that sounds like a strip club or they think 1890 was a great time. Oh, interesting. It could also be 80 year olds. There's a lot of a reconstruction theme. Yeah, exactly. It's Kentucky. It is Kentucky. All right.

It was great. So yeah, so and then we got a quick scene where dad's walking through the house. I think he's looking for demons. He finds a mirror that says help Abby on it. There's no reason no one who could have written it in the movie or anything. So I mean, so Abby referred to herself in the third person. When she wrote that. Is that what was what's right here?

Did she write that? Has she been in that house since fucking Dr. Williams got there? I don't know. I want to watch her going through drafts like Heath going over her notes, just help me. No, because then he might not know. I wrote it. Help Abby needs help. No, because that's weirdly passive's passive voice. No, no,

no, act what the act of just command it help Abby. There we go. Abby. Yep. Put it is. All right. Cool. Well, she's got kicked off drag race after a really tough lip sync battle. If there was like a little bit, that would have been silky ganache is still in the exercise. Oh, yeah, you're the most useless. If you love RuPaul's Drag Race, you got those jokes. Oh, there's one thing missing from this movie. It was silky nutmeg ganache, no question. All right.

So meanwhile, Emmett and Cass make it to the orange bar and they, they're carrying around a picture of Abby. So Cass was like, Hey, have you seen this girl? And they're just like, yes, you went off to murder, fuck a white dude, but she's coming back and I said, all right, we'll wait. I had her make a spreadsheet of, you know, what the times of everything she'd be doing would be at this bar. She's, she's fucking a white dude upstairs.

She'll be back down at, hold on. 1047. Yeah. Yeah. She just clocked47. Yeah. Yeah. She just clocked in. So you're going to be. So yeah, so cast calls Illinois Jones to let them know that they have figured out at least where she's baiting her fuck slaves.

So he's got, he knows where to go. So he's on his way. And they're going to have to apparently they're going to have to do the exorcism right there in the disco. There's no. Yeah. Yeah. And cast is skeptical about this too. He's like, do exorcism's working bars? Are you sure? And dad Reverend is like, well, they work exactly as well as they do in church. Yeah.

I'll be red. The disco is the only place we haven't used to fucking win machine. Yeah, they want to use the wind. And they're really going to go ham on this disco by the end. They really destroy this fucking building. All right. So Emmett and, and Castus, they're going to chill at the orange bar for a bit. And then Emmett goes completely heath on this waitress, right? Oh, yes. This gorgeous waitress comes over and she's like, you sure you don't want anything and he's like, I said, Parmesan fries. Okay, I was going to tip 16% but just know you're down to my standard.

He then write 11%. Never tip. I have to write numbers. Go fuck yourself. He's either 11 or 16% you're kind of an asshole. Like if you went out of your way to not just round to 20 at that point and you did 16, God fucking damn it. Tip people better.

Everybody tip better. Yeah. So she, so the flirty waitress says, Hey, is there anything you want? And he goes, no, she says anything at all. And he's like, well, now I have to fucking rub one out. Where's the mentor? I would fuck you. Okay. It's over there.

So he goes to the bathroom now Abby shows up and she's ready to take on two dudes at once. But first they must dance because it's that time on sprockets. Sympathy for Abby when she wakes up from this demon coma, she is going to be sore. My girl is going gonna be sore. Yeah, this is a nice moment of honesty though. She just walks up to two dudes and is like, so you guys want to like dry rub your dicks on me for a little bit and then fuck like a little bit after that after we dance with the dry rub and thing and they're like,

yeah, that's exactly what we want to do. This is great. This is great. Nobody. She finally figured, yeah, finally figured out how to flirt with Heath. invite another dude All right, I also want to point out a continuity error in the movie here because we cut to dad to Illinois Jones And he's home and asked to the to the club in a cab and I'm like wait a minute

How the fuck did he catch that cab? This is this is Louisville Kentucky no fucking way this is at least real is very funny stick Weville Kentucky no fucking way this is at least real is very funny. He was sick. All right. So now Abby is dancing with these two guys and making demon eyes and I'm in a shit. And I'm I'm thinking of myself. Cass and Emma are in this fucking bar. It's tiny and well lit. Are they both in the bathroom? Have an Indian food shit or something?

But yeah, Emma notices and he comes over and he's like, sorry, sorry guys, two guys, two feet taller than me. I had dibs. I had dibs. Please don't eat me. Yeah, this is my property. Why if we whatever, you know, legally same thing now, but he, but she's like, oh, no, I took off my ring.

So now one of my fuck buddies is gonna whip your ass. And he does. But before we can really see him get us asked, if we cut the cast, so I guess has gone to this bar and hung out in the office? They are towering and feathering Emmett in the front, but he's in the office park that makes up the back like they've got a whole,

you gotta staples. He's doing a quick shopping. It's nuts. How big is this fucking bar or how far away is this office that they cannot hear the ass kick and going on in the bar? Right. It's tiny is the answer. And that's absurd. And the entire bar got on board with like gang raping this Reverend super fast Demon Abbey's like all right, let's now we're all gonna strip him down and fucking Everybody's like rolling up sleeves fluffin their dicks. It's like there's a guy taking bets on something like there's there's waving I'm not making that up. There's a guy like really around money at that point, take it on bets on how many he's gonna fucking how? But eventually, cash comes through to help, which he does by firing bullets into the ceiling of the club.

Now, I want to point out the bartender earlier, rented Abbey a room upstairs. Yep, absolutely. There's people up there. Yep, also, credit where credit is due, it takes two gunshots for this crowd to break up. The first gunshot, they're like, merp merp merp merp gunshot.

We get it, someone has a gun. And then the second one, they're like, fine, I'm going, I'm going. Yeah. And even then, one of the guys that Abby was fucking is like, hey, go ahead and shoot me. Yeah, and even then one of the guys that Abby was fucking is like Go ahead and shoot me. Yeah Come on get out of here nothing to see here. It's just a

Fuck demon on a rampage. It's time to go home everybody. That's literally what he does He's like he says to the guys shows over and everybody's like oh, I wanted to stay around and watch super power Possessed even lady. I just wanted one person to be like, show is definitely not over, man. You can force me out of this bar at gunpoint, but you can't pretend the show is over. Words matter. And the show is not over because we get to watch Abby karate throw every other main character and they go flying across this room and they just oversell the karate throw so hard. It's the best.

And eventually they give up on it all together and she does the finger pointy shoot thing to cast and he falls over like that's literally where they wind up by the end of this. But yeah, like a Quinn Tuple take fall over. Like it was like, you remember in like in punch out, it was like, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, yeah. Absolutely. All right. And then she turns to she got everybody all fucked up. And she's like, what do you think of my powers now? But just then Illinois Jones shows up ready to fuck that demon up. Oh, he says not very much. And that is second only to Giles.

I'd like to test that theory in season six, episode 21 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when it comes to responses. Let's give it up. What? Come on. Buffy and vampire slayer willow turns bad. And she's like, and no one can stop me. And then he never thought he was gone. And he's like, I'd like to test that theory. And we all know that he's like super badass because he killed the God who's also a lady

and then he smothers him with his hands and you're like, what? Apt parallel indeed in life. Yeah, and I'm sure I'm with you. This is our deep concept of so big. There is a listener who both watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer and currently watches RuPaul's Shragg Race, who's like, this is our deep cuts episode. It there. There is a listener who both watched

Bubby the vampire slayer and currently watches RuPaul's straight race, who's like, this is my episode. I'm willing every little T10. One eight five, talk to our patron boxes. So yeah, but I love, I love, I love how dad walked in like super relaxed here too. Oh yeah, he's just like, hello, everyone, I'm

very calm. I'm a stable genius actually. Check out my doctor's note. He unloads his doctor's bag of demon stuff so slowly as Abby tosses people around the room. He's like, doot doot doot. No, I will not be rushed. I will not be rushed. I'm taking reclaiming my times. Not a right angle. It's a wrong angle. Wait, wait. I'll be there in a second. So yeah. So it's time to go full access to some. He's like, gas em it. Holder arms and he's like, they're like, she just threw us across the fucking room. But okay. So they hold her arms. She throws them across the fucking room again. And he's like, okay, do it better this time then. Okay. Nope.

And was his giant necklace, the cross necklace, was that like the Ghostbusters trap? I feel like that's what it was. It had that power for a second, right? For a second. It's unclear what happens in this scene. It seemed to pull her in the color purple, but then not. Yeah, no, we're, yeah, okay, there's a lot. Right, so streams. So she's about to like, I guess use the same powers of knowledge

that she did with Mrs. Wiggins on Illinois Jones, but super low key, I guess he never did anything that bad because the demon just turns to Emmett and says, Hey, your mom thought your dad was an asshole. Super low key. I guess he never did anything that bad because the demon just turns to Emmett and says hey Your mom thought your dad was an asshole. You want me to tell you what an asshole she thought he was? No, that's I thought that's all I've got that's that's all I've got. He's actually a pretty cool guy one time Can I tell him the firehouse store? He doesn't want the firehouse door When you're older, I'm gonna tell you, you remind me when you're older. You're eight.

You have any physical powers because the low level stories are weird. Well, I can summon a fireball, but not like not at anyone, not towards anyone, just sort of in general. But really fireball, you're just now just using it for the first time right now.

I feel like you could have done better with the fireballs than that. And just to make this clear, this is where he starts to accuse the demon of not being the real issue, right? Yeah, he gets there eventually. Yeah. Yeah, like he wants to like, he's going to demand some ID. I thought this was a twist. It's it's a trick But but for the next 10 minutes, he's just gonna be like nope, you're not a shoe and a shoe is just like I am come on

Don't do this eventually. He's gonna wrap rabbit season duck season the motherfucker to right eventually That's because he's gonna go if you are the real issue you could leave Abby anytime you want because he's gonna go, if you were the real issue, you could leave Abby anytime you wanted. And he's like, oh yeah, I'll show you. And then he leaves, right? That literally is how the extra system's gonna play out. Does he, he performs like an oral languages test on a shoe? He's like a shoe speaks lots of languages, speaks super well, Barack Obama style.

She does a little like Hindi for him. You know Latin and Greek and she's like spaghetti, green, green, he unlimited salad and bread six. Okay. No, it's just me in front of heath at every restaurant in Paris. Right. I would like some boy. And then some vegan meat. So that's the whole. Yeah, that's the plate. They've never understood the noise vegan or the as just as the French say at all. So. All right. So now Emmett and Gasser are going to help him with the exorcism.

She tries to stop him with her hand buzzer powers, but that doesn't work. We're all over the map with the demon powers. Oh my god. They literally grabs her hand and we get the sound effect. Like a moment ago, she was like Jean Gray full Phoenix. And now she's like, I walked around on the carpet a bunch. And she's doing a card trick. It's a weird progression. Yeah. But luckily though, Illinois Jones has some good advice. They're like, oh, we can't hold

her. And he's like, no, you can. You just, you must remain secure in your own Christ center. Like, oh, thanks for clearing that up, man. Now I know what to do. What, yeah, what is that? Like, focus on Jesus and his dick. Like, that's your mantra. I, I, I, I, I Jones goes back to his bag at demon trinkets and this is where Abby starts floating gatekeeper style. Yeah, it's like hold it firmly. I got to do a costume chain. Yeah, I gotta go full to she. Yeah, Christian spells don't

really work until you dress in authentic Nigerian. I want to be culturally sensitive to the demon. Yeah. All right. So the demon starts trying to sweet talk, Emmett and Cass, right? Cause it's like, ah, the hand buzzer thing didn't work, fireballs didn't work. I'll pretend that they're done now. And Emmett, of course, is so fucking stupid that Illinois Jones has to tell him, no, no, dude, like, she gave you in the dick last time.

How many times you have a forehead? Shit. Every, the demon lets him in on it. She's like, and then I'm totally fine now. You can like, oh, he's like, oh, good. I can let go of the demons. Like, come on. Man.

This is a final showdown and you're just, I'm here. You're killing it. I love how quickly the demon gives up on this shit too, right? She's like, Emmett can't you help me? He's like, I don't know. I think you're a demon. He's like, fuck you. God damn it.

This is like if someone brought their kid to the final fight at the end of an action movie, it just feels weird. What is he nine? All right. Now, and this is where they all join hands, which creates the purple light triangle of Jesus. What is going on now? He blows glitter at her. Yeah, he has some fairy dust.

I gotta tell you, you know what I was not expecting? The final step of an exorcism to be the salt-based wrinkle did not. Never saw it coming. But yeah, and then she starts frothing at her mouth to like a comical, it's like when Eli pulls the paper snakes out of his mouth, it's that much froth. And then everything everywhere explodes. Yes. Yes. She has full blown entire room exploding powers chooses to use them now. I believe the disco ball becomes an explosive also at this point. I loved that shot. So that shot so perfectly encapsulated everything

that is this movie that's slow swing of the fucking disco ball. It hits the liquor bottles causing the rum atoms to split open apparently. Oh, it was his a landmine from World War II that we hung on the sea. What were we doing? I wanted, I wanted so bad for Jesus to be swinging in on the disco ball just like singing like Miley Cyrus Completely naked All right, and damn though if the star of this movie doesn't show back up the god damn wind machine is added again Oh, yeah But they're done apparently the exploding shit was just your swan song, right?

Like she was just about to get exercise. She's like, oh, fuck room exposed room. Oh, god damn it. Damn it. Damn it. But now Abby wakes up. She doesn't remember what's happened, right? So she's like, Hey, baby, what happened?

And why is my vagina so fucking so awesome? I'm about to oh, oh, you were, um, you were a penis demon and we're also big into pegging now. Also really fucked a white guy to death. So you know high five all around. Yeah. Just to give you what I'm telling you is you've had a great weekend. Yeah.

And I love at this point, Illinois Jones turns to a cast and he goes, well, God has healed her physically. He'll, you know, he'll get around to the mental and emotional stuff eventually. So we're done. And then he just walks out of the scene. Yep. Just walk because they had until three fucking o'clock and I'm black, you know, damn it. He just walked off. Yeah. I a fucking adventures i guess now and and the movie should have ended right there right like the cast goes thank god and the movie should have ended but there's a whole nother god damn scene where they get on a plane

oh that's it though that's it that's it that's the whole thing they get on a plane and leave they're like we're leaving the movie now by that's it. Wanted Matthew Broderick to come out. What are you still doing here? It's over. I'm going to kill a woman with my car. I'm going to murder somebody. Yeah. One last deep cut for you. Okay. So I have to ask you this about this final scene, which seemed more an agronistic to you. The fact that the lady selling him the airplane ticket at the airport said smoking or non smoking or the fact that there was a lady at the airport selling airplane tickets. Oh, right? Yeah, all I could hear was you screaming the word smoking from all the way in Georgia. I could just hear you.

Yeah. No, I was negative too at the time. It was a nice, it was a nice year. All right. Was there a non smoking section? Yes. In a tiny pressurized metal deep flying for the air. There was.

They're like, oh, but you're sitting in the non smoking side of the airplane. You should be fine. All right. Windows seats are smoking. I'll see. What crack crack the window of the Yeah, right. Yeah. Who's got the baby? Bring it right over here. I'm going to blow smoke in its face right now. I swear to fucking God. All right. Well, I think after a masterpiece like that, the closing question is obvious.

If this movie was a person, where would you take it on your dream date? Oh, I want to say the back of a Volkswagen. Yeah, I did 100% gay 90s topless and bottomless go-go girls. That's excellent. Yep. Good answer. Yep. Here I was thinking an upstairs hotel room in a bar called whiskey, but yeah, I was a good shot at those motherfuckers. Whiskey fuck hutch. I like that idea too. All right, that's our retirement

plan. All right, whiskey fuck hutch. Yeah. All right, well, that's going to do a fur review of Abby, but that's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need to inch that much closer to episode 200 so Eli tell us what's on deck. Well gentlemen, next episode is in June and you know what June means. It better not be June, Tacular. Mormon, Movie, Moon! Oh, right. That's right. We'll be kicking off a month of Mormon guests and movies with legacy

the story of the pioneers a propaganda retelling of Joseph Smith that would make north career blush oh all right okay I actually am looking forward to that one more man to be techular yeah I get no I get to say this all legit no so with no techulars whatsoever to look forward to we're gonna bring up bring up episode 197 through a personal close. Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make this show go. If you'd like to get yourself among their ranks, you can make a pre episode donation at patreon.com. It's got awful and thereby earn early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review on iTunes and by sharing the show

and all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this, show up, be sure to check out our sibling shows and skating ad, the excitation needed in the skeptic right available on iTunes Stitcher and where of those podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email Godoff on movies to gmail.com, leave the services for this podcast provided by the office of P.A. Dratourist, Tim Robertson, takes care of our social media, our theme song is written in performed by Ryan Slotnik and people drafts on Mars, although the music was written in performed by

our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen, right, Neil Ibosnik, I'm an Olufsen's promise to work hard to earn on the truck next week until then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club club. Detective Cass eventually became the chief of police in South Bend, Indiana, but he got demoted for being, you know, kind of snippy about it when he caught all his captains using the N-word.

Mama Potter wished a damn sex demon would possess her own. The trickster god Aishu got a job at Air Marok and wouldn't be defeated again until the year 2019. But that's another story. There's a Pete Buttigieg reference, everybody? I didn't get you guys either. Got it. Okay. Mine was I didn't remember the lady in Casablanca who I yelled at.

She was mean to me. All of our jokes were funny if you knew the book. That information. One person out there is gonna love it all. Yeah. I think it's me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm gonna listen to this episode and I'm gonna

live it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on a thunderstorm LLC copyright 2019 all rights reserved.