God Awful Movies - 205: Deadly Attraction

Episode Date: July 23, 2019

On this week's episode, we might just find a new worst movie. --- Come see us live in Virginia Beach! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-in-virginia-beach-tickets-63066905813 Hear more from Cecil on Cognitive Dissonance. If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Yeah, so but what we what we're supposed to be getting out of this scene is that Mark is watching his parents fuck and he's thinking about killing one of them with the Butter spreader in his hand It might as well have a pen dolphin on the end Like he might as well be planning to stab them to death with a live laugh love commemorative movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie.

movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie.

movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. movie. Fortunately for him as it turns out just unfortunately for you, but sitting at a note of mouse to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli, how are you this fine afternoon,

sir? I'm amazing Noah. My life is all downhill from here. I have a photo of my wedding and a still from this film on my desk. That's what I have. I'm going to carry around stills for this in my wallet. Are you kidding me? What the fuck?

All right. And that voice, you just heard that. So that a co-host of the cognitive dissonance podcast, the funny guy from citation needed Eli's best friend in the whole wide world. And today's guest massacres, Cecil. Cecil, welcome back, sir. Oh, thanks for having me, guys. It was, I want to say it was was fun but it wasn't at all.

It really wasn't so bad. And normally these movies like it'll take me to go through a whole movie and to do my notes and everything and it'll usually take me about twice the length of the movie. Right. But with this movie it took me like seven and a half hours. I just have to like stop and-examine my life choices. Oh, by the DMV one time, because that's such a happier place. Yeah.

So why is it when the rape movies come up? You know, like what is what's going on guys? I mean, I'm coming down with an intentional Cecil, but like I only at this point believe it's unintentional from my end. I can't speak for Eli anymore. I'm very purposeful. I make these choices. You're coming with us.

And this one's like an incest rape one, two. Like, yeah, super weird. I'm not going down alone. You're coming in and see yourself. So yeah, big, big trigger warnings going into this move. Like in all seriousness, big trigger warnings. We're going to make fun of it. It's terrible and everything, but it deals with some really fucked up shit. Like this is, this is not a joke here.

Before we started recording, season one, I were reflecting on how loving the bad man is now the good rape movie. He's watched with a full one. Yeah. Right. The tasteful rape movie. Oh, Jesus, man. What the fuck? All right. The tasteful rape movie. Oh, Jesus, man. What the fuck?

All right. So without further ado, tell us, Cecil, what will we be breaking down today? Okay. We watched deadly attraction. It's the story of a bunch of insoles trying to write a script about what it's like to actually have sex. Boy is it. I was taking more less than the same thing throughout. It seems like to me, it's like a sour grapes thing. Like, I think you have sex which is all miserable, killed and stuff. You get braided by, I'm so surprised that that brother doesn't call his sister a famoid in it. Unbelievable. Yeah, I mean, always, with most movies, you can sort of see a little bit of the director's thing, right?

Like, Quentin Tarantino has a foot fetish and, right, David A.R. White is gay, right? You get these little hints as to the director. This movie is evidence to put the writer and director of this movie in jail, right? Like if I was on the jury and they just showed this movie, I'd be like, oh, yeah, forever. There's no way he does anything good after making this movie. He definitely skinned some children. You absolutely know. It has passed.

Yeah. Yeah. Literal skeletons in his closet. I normally don't advocate for the preemptive strike, but I'll make an exception in this case. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. All right, Eli, I know this is going to be hard to sum up with just a few podcasts, but how bad was this movie? Well, if you loved that time, that guy challenged you to a fight for using the urinal next to him

at friendlies, but you wished it lasted two hours and somehow also involved porn of his mom. You will love this movie. My friends, my friends, this is a bad good movie. Fuck, fuck the room, fuck per-demick. Look, you got movies that are good bad, like fast and the furious and exand your cage too. You got movies that are bad, bad, like thanks killing, but this, this is bad. Good. These people were so sure they were making not just a good movie, a great movie, and they were so wrong.

Oh my, it was so very, very wrong. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah and they thought it was art like the writer no shit thinks it's quote a modern adaptation of the classic adipal myth which is insane I know what does he think the adipal myth no one ever read nobody's read it like nobody they just one time came across it in a fucking book. And they're like, no, that's, that's what this is. This is exact. Oh my God. Nobody even knows what it's about. If that's the case, you can't fucking tag this to the fucking Adam. There's no way.

No. Well, okay. So what happened here is some guy saw a clockwork orange and thought, okay, right, tragic equals fine art. So imagine fucking Requiem for a dream as told by the makers of the unexpected bar mits fuck. Yes. Right? Like this is just a writer, like coming up with the most fucked up shitty can think of and then dealing with it on screen with zero sensitivity. Right.

Or intelligence or artistry. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's the dictionary of police sketches. All right, is there anything you guys want to nominate? This one for being the best at being the worst at? Uh, best worst mill for a drone. Oh, well done, sir.

Well done. She's always in a cocktail dress, like the mom is constantly in a clubbing dress. And she's sitting on the couch in her clubbing dress, napping in her clubbing dress, coming home from work in her clubbing dress, getting a weird, creepy massage in a clubbing dress. There's a whole lot of misclubbing dresses going on. So I'm going to go wardrobe on this one. Yeah, I had a note in somewhere in here that her wardrobe was picked out by a 13 year old boy. Oh yeah. Right. It's not the cocktail dress. It's like some weird lingerie that's just no reason to be wearing

in the moment. 11 a.m. on a Saturday. The best time for lingerie. Exactly. Time to watch the game. I was going to go with best worst poster acting. Now, yeah, so this is so amazing. Before you even start the movie, before you get three notes into the music, which will be enough to betray how bad it is, before you see the title font they use for the credits, which will be enough to betray how bad it is, you see the promotional photo and the two people that you can see on the photo are so like dead eyed and don't belong there. They look like, you know, sometimes like, you see something you just got a camcorder back in the day when they, those were new and surprise somebody coming out of the bathroom and they were all freaked out. Like they're

wearing that look on their face. Like they've been forced into this fucking poster against their will somehow or something. I, like, there's one chick that's supposed to be like the femme fatale, but she also looks like she's been like, I don't taxidermy to in there or something. There's a hot chick at the bottom and she's in like slinky underwear or stuff, but like half of her face is cut off. So it looks weird is shit. She's in this awkward angle where she's like, I don't see how

you want me to turn so that I fit in the fucking picture. That's the poster. Yeah. I was going to go with best worst title card. Oh, the title cards of this movie, baffling doesn't begin. No, they're like an ancient numeric puzzle. Like if you pull it together in the right order, a tomb somewhere opens, you like summon Catoolu or something. They do some backwards. Yeah, absolutely. It's so fucking. It's like a really complicated math problem. It's really, really, really complicated one. We're, you know, where there's a train that leaves so and so at such and say, it isn't it? I mean, it's, it's so weird because you got to

keep adding days and then subtracting day is fucking strange as fuck. So spoiler alert for those who are going to follow along with us, the subtitle, which is not listed of this movie is 365 days. And no, these title cards do not in any way, shape or form add up to 365 days. No, no, and that's the fucked up thing is because I, I almost went with this I know my best worst was already long, but I'm going to throw this one in two best worse use of the time dimension. Right? He wanted to like, ticking clock of this movie to be one year. So it does like constantly jump 40 days ahead or 30 days ahead or whatever, but never for any reason. It's always the same season

outside. Right. Like sometimes it's 40 days later and they're going like, well, you know, the other night, you're like, no, that was 40 days ago. Remember the title card? No. And then like at other points, it's like 30 days later and like, you know, someone's gotten pregnant and had a kid sense that. Yep. Right? And not just the same season all the time, we should point out it's always the same different

room within this same house. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Is shot around this one shitty house in Florida. That is where all of this came from without without a single thing on any wall. There is no fucking thing on any of the walls. It's like, it's like, we don't want to fuck it. We want to get our security to pass the package. I don't want to put a nail in the wall. Yeah, everything that they filmed and have the feeling of sample

unit, right? I'm sorry. you said we could tour the house, Miss Real Estate Lady. We could put it in the theater and shooting a movie. Yeah. You don't get to put a time limit on that. Oh, I'm sorry. Open house doesn't mean open anymore. I'm sorry, this is America. Yeah.

All right. Well, no matter how prepared you think you are for this, you're wrong. So we're going to pause to let you steal yourself a bit. When we come back, we're gonna dive into the morbid catastrophe that is deadly attraction. You've reached Eli's cell phone. Leave a message. Hey Eli, it's Cecil. Got your email. Yeah, I can do the recording on Friday. I'll talk to you then, okay? You've reached Eli's cell phone, leave a message.

What the fuck is this man? Seriously, I should have listened to Tom and pretended to be busy, Jesus. You've reached Eli's cell phone, leave a message. Hey, Eli, finish the movie. I wanted to give you a heads up. I'm gonna kill you when I see you with my hands. I'm gonna use my hands, a chair, pretty much whatever I can.

Okay, talk to you on Friday. And we're back for the breakdown. And if the title font wasn't enough to tell you how cheap it was the first Dream notes of the music would be but don't worry. We've already seen the poster so none of that matter Yeah, yeah, I have in my notes music cue private detective of sex I like to that they didn't search out to find like anybody to do, you know, maybe an after facts bit or even a scrolling title. It's just a pirus on the screen. The pirus font. We spared no expense, everyone. Just say, yeah, I put the over under here at seven number of times

the first screening of this movie was peppered with the refrain. Wow, it's like a real movie. All right. All right. All right. Now we're going to meet the star of the show, the title cards. So, the first one says day one. Now this is day one of the movie, just not of a thing. Yeah. Like, turn all to the movie. But we got a family eating in the living room.

And again, just right away, this movie's awful because like clearly they couldn't figure out a way to get all four of these people in the room and on camera at once. So the furniture's pulled out weirdly. One guy's just standing in the doorway eating a hamburger for no fucking reason. They're scratching forks on plates. They keep accidentally pantomiming even though there's real food There's not a single TV tray in the room either like everybody's like awkwardly sitting with the plate on their lap Trying to balance like a burger and salad

balance like a burger and salad. You're trying to do the test from men in black or whatever. That's amazing. So we're meeting mom, dad, and there are two adult kids that are, I don't know, like nine years younger than them or something. But what age does the movie think they are? I don't know. Old enough to drink, I think the sun is because right after this, he has a beer. So he's, he's old enough to drink.

I don't know how old the sister is. Right. Younger, I guess I don't know. Yeah, I was going to say the movie certainly wants you to think she's 18 plus. But yeah, I got to say though, the guy, the main character, the son, he looks like Donald Trump Jr. and Steve Buscemi's love child. Oh my God. That's perfect.

Junior thing going on. Uh huh. And also kind of, he's a funny looking guy too. It was the same time. You looks like you left a fifth wallberg on the dashboard of your part of the two lines. Like you get out there and you're like, oh, that was a good one. That was a rental.

Yeah. So, okay. And this is, I love the way this movie tries to give itself back story and shit. The scene opens basically with, and they're all eating and mom turns to dance is, I'm so proud of you. You've strapped drinking and gambling. Exactly. Is what motivates you as a character.

And then they, you know, make out on the loudest leather couch. The star of this movie without question is the noises this leather couch on. Yep. It is in the majority of the scenes and it also has the majority of the dialogue. And as Eli says, they make out, but it's not, I mean, it's not like regular. Just like a pack on the cheek or just a kiss. Like at a certain point, she puts her, her hand in his polo shirt and starts rubbing on his chest. Like reaches into his shirt and starts, I thought she was going to pull her hand back and it was like slathered in butter

So greasy he looks like he's like a human lobster roll that In front of their children Yeah, this movie makes it zero seconds before it's like All right, but but they end the make out session mom like, I've got to go take a shower. So she goes up to the shower and the sun follows her so that he can peek in on his mom's showering. That's right. While he does, though, my favorite part is the mom sets her food down, walks away. He's got his plate of food and he's getting ready to leave. And the dad's like, where do you think you're going?

You haven't finished your food. And I'll go back to that doorway and stand there until you finish it. Tell you if you cannot leave the doorway until you finish eating all your food. I'm not getting stupid. Yeah, so he goes into watch the mom. And I love this.

Okay, so we get this point for a second tit shot, right? Yeah. By the way, we're a minute 33 in when a guy is checking out his mom's ass Eli, Eli, you fucker. Come and win me. You're coming with me to the bottom of this barrel. So clearly this actor said, look, I'll do a boob shot, but only if it's taste list, the director's like, okay, fine. So they get this tiny little boob shot, which by the way, they will like show again, like people will keep flashing back. Let this character will flash back to having seen that boob because he'll be damned

if he wasn't going to get the full 1.2 seconds out of that point for a second clip. So we, this movie, I think is legally revenge porn in California. They show this woman's boom. And so he's he's watching her shower. And and what the actor goes for as he realizes he's watching her shower is a, oh, what am I doing moment? But the performance he delivers is, oh my God, that is a huge mole. Yes, today. When he goes goes when he goes in to go creep on his mom. He's gonna go watch her in the shower and he sets his food on the floor. And I'm not sure which I'm more offended by. He sets his plate of food on the floor outside.

How the fuck's wrong with you? Also, his sister wants him to take her to the movies. Now, in this movie, like like the sister like he will like whatever he will hammer or horseshoes into her flesh before this over like we're supposed to believe that this guy is like a psychopath that's tortured her whole life. But yet when we meet her it's like hey you want to go to the movies with me. Also, we need to talk about the word fuck and how it's used to this. I'm not saying that all of these actors said fuck for the first time on camera. I'm saying that's how skilled they are as actors. She's like, do you want to

go to the movies? And he like, he like winds up on it. He's like, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, fup, lady you're like 30 years old. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own.

You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own.

You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. You can't go to the movies on your own. Here's a storyline that's gonna matter. We're in a classroom, right? Siss is sitting in the classroom, brother shows up and he goes to sit down in the classroom and the teacher's like, hey, where have you been? And he's like, fuck you. So again, what this movie is going for is like he's not doing very well in school and what it delivers is Mark, you're late. I'll fuck your face.

You say what? Exit stage left. Also, there's like three extras in a giant class. There's like nobody in the class. And it's clearly a night class because he leaves in a second and it goes outside and it's night time. So what is this like a night GED class? The two of you are in.

What is happening here? This could be a night middle school. We have no idea what angels can have through this. That's true. We don't know. All right. So yeah, the teacher kicks him out. And now we meet Mark's buddies, right?

All the cool kids. Yeah. Mark by the way, that's the brother. That's the son, the main character of the film the the sociopath and This gang of friends the very an age from 11 to 50 six Well, I want to know how all these people met that's the movie on this thing How did the 40-year-old black gentleman become friends with the 19 year old white kid?

And it's a pretty racially diverse gang. It is. I think they're really started. They got an Asian guy. They got a couple black guys, two white guys. One of the guys looks kind of like Justin Timberlake. We'll call him Justin Timber fake for the rest of the, but he looks a little like Justin Timberlake. Sir, we will be using his name. Thank you. Absolutely. You're right. Now will be using his name. Thank you. Oh, you're right. Absolutely. You're right. No, once his name gets revealed, we have to use his name from that point on.

Whatever you want. Tell that. Yeah. And at this point, though, I will say, at this point, it felt like, you know, throughout the whole movie, you're not quite sure if someone actually wrote anything down. You're like, did you guys just sort of like spitball the idea of what was happening here and then sort of chatted out as the camera rolled. That's what you think is happening. And here it's blatantly obvious. That's exactly

what they did. They never once had, they just said, like have some jolly banter with each other in this script. And that's it. It was in brackets and then they tried as hard as they could. Right. And they had to, like, they took them four takes to get through it without anyone actually saying the words jolly banter. You know, right. Oh my god. Yeah.

This is the part where the, the, an attractive woman walks by. So they sexually assault her. They slapper on the ass. But the best part about the slapping on the ass is obviously there's a previous tank where he like actually slapped her on the ass and his actress punched him in the throat and hit him to death with a crowbar. So they replace that actor. So this actor doesn't so much slapper asses.

He like walks up behind her and waves his hand or wrap her ass. He's trying to summon a genie out of it. Yeah, her response to getting sexually assaulted in the middle of the street is, you guys need to learn how to treat a lady as well. Yes, I'm sure that happens. Yeah, that happens all the time. Yeah, that's exactly how life works, I guess.

All right, so and meanwhile, his sister, this character's name is eventually going to be Catherine is in the park with her friend when a gentleman shows up who would like to have sex with her and she seems down for that. It's again, like you want to get inside the mind of a street harasser. Here you go. It's a street harasser's movie. Right? Yeah. A street harasser thinks one character walking up and going, hey sexy works. Yep. It's the for the record you at home. It's never worked. Oh yeah. No. Okay. So he's like, hey sexy. And she's like, hey, he's like, I've had my eye on you. She's like, well, why don't you

have a seat? And then the scene ends really fucking abruptly because the writer had broken out in a cold sweat At the thought of writing more dialogue and then they say San 20 days later 20 days. Yeah, well, okay, right. Okay, though This is where the mouth puzzle comes in right because you have to track of how many people are getting on the train and getting off. It says, it says 20 days. Now most of it will say like day 40, day 70, but this is 20 days later, which is one week later than day one.

So this is day 27 or 28. Yeah, okay. I got you. I'm sorry, everyone's going gonna have to keep track. Yeah. All right. So 20 days later, the guy who walked up and asked her out on a date, he said, apparently, he says, would you like to go on a date with me in three weeks? Because the very next scene is him picking her up for this date. What are you doing in a fortnight? I'm saying she's been getting the D for Marcus for 20 days at this point guys. I don't think they've waited.

I think there's the first time she's introduced to the milk, the mom. I mean, I think that's what it is. I got you. Okay. And by the way, yes, you heard seasonal right, the fucking idiots that wrote this name to major characters, Mark and Marcus. So yeah, so, so this is getting ready for the date. Mom comes and says, Hey, Mark is here to pick you up and her brother walks in and just goes, fuck bitch slut whore.

I think the actor who plays Mark like has Tourette's and this was some kind of like breakthrough performance for him. The writer was like, don't worry, we're going to blend it in perfect. No one will know. And the mom's response is equally baffling with how dare you use such language on your sister is what's easy. They never quite got to humor. Yeah, no, it's like the script was translated from Chinese.

Like it's like they ran it through Google translate several times. Yeah, so he calls his sister a slut in order. Then he goes downstairs where Marcus is waiting. He says, hey, if you fuck my sister, I'll break your fucking neck. And everybody's like, he's such a card. Let's go. Yeah. The mom walks in. She's like, Marcus, if don't listen to him, you go ahead and fuck the shit out of my mind.

You really just hit the bass. Her response is so listen to him. It's like, wait, you just hurt your son, I'll break your fucking neck. If you fuck my sister and you're like, no, he's just playing. He's such a little level scam, is it? It's like, it's like the person equivalent of that friend who has a shitty dog who's just in the other room, like, he's fine.

He'll settle down. And you're like, when you put him to sleep for killing a toddler, the ducks duck snapping at your face. No, he's good. He's good. He's a good guy. He's playing. It's letter. He's not in your hands. No. No. No. No, we normally don't tell him no, when he hums, we just let him hum. We don't, we don't step in. God, we found Mark's origin story. All right. So the thing I love this to, They give us a title guard that says later that evening, in case we don't pick up on the context of them being on the date that

they were leaving for. And the gang's space work to open the scene is a mate. What do you think they think they are doing? One guy is sure this is a barber shop quartet. He's the right man. I don't know what the other four thing. One of them reaches for a cup and space works just in front of the cup and then laughs. It's the craziest and most beautiful thing ever. It's like he goes to pick up the cup Misses and then is like haha miss the cup again Oh, there was so much craziness in the background of every seep. So what we're supposed to get here is

Marcus and Catherine are out on their date and all of a sudden Mark's friends see the two of them getting in the back seat of Marcus's car. Oh shit. About the fuck the sister. His big pimpy white Honda of a corn four door that he's got. Yeah. Take that girl home and later. Let me tell you. Why the fuck do all these people have four doors? I don't even get it. Well, I guess they're all like middle age. So it makes it. You know, which point, they're not parked at like, make out point. No, they're like in a full parking lot at a Wendy's. Just moving to the backseat to raw dog.

Oh, gosh. Romantic style. Yeah. So the friends call Mark. They're like, hey man, somebody's about to fuck your sister in the Wendy's parking lot. Well, no, you can't actually call though.

Oh right. So steal a phone first from somebody else because his phone is shut off. A very large plot point we wanna reveal now that his phone is shut off. It will be very important later. It will be resolved. Yeah, so they steal a phone from,

by the way, from a guy who is comically larger than everyone stealing his phone. Oh, the idea, the mugging that they do is they like take his phone, he turns towards them, they like gently push it his face and you see this giant man pause and look at the child that just like pushed it his face and he's like, yeah, I mean, the movie says that I'm afraid of you. So I'm. All right.

So Mark shows up to some ominous music because he told that dude not to fucking sister. Now I want to I want to just really quickly though. There's there. If you listen, I listen to this on headphones, right? So I was watching it on a computer. And when you listen to it on headphones, they're making out in the back of the car. You get these serious suction noises going on. But at one point, the guy turns to the girl and he says, your hands are cold.

I'm not even kidding. I was like, I don't know if it's improv or if the sound guy just was supposed to put something else in there, but definitely comes through. So there is nothing this movie didn't manage to. It's so amazing. All right. So March shows up with his sled jammer. He the very best street fight weapon. You could possibly imagine this is a sledgehammer by literally. Yeah., what happens is when you push someone with a sledge hammer, he got a lot of it. The only possible description of what he does with that sledge hammer is he pokes Marcus. I think he knocks his jelly sandwich on to his chest. That's what happened. He spills his chocolate syrup. That would make a lot more sense. Yeah. But anyways, a postmark is out of the car, pushes him around with the hammer, and then drags

his sister away, right? Yeah. So then we get the quick scene of her calling to find what hospital he's in. What? Exposition phone call. Hi, Tanya. Yes. Yes, I did leave him bloody on the ground.

What do you mean he's mad at me? Okay, let me write this down. Crazy, badly set hospital road. Doesn't it all look like a hospital? New York. That's exactly how long she wrote for, too. It's like 45 seconds, She's holding up the paper. If she's like, hold on, let me write it.

No, can you spell that really quick? No, no, is it six, one, five or five, one, six? Which one is it? She spent 35 seconds writing down the address. And okay, so she goes to find him at the hospital as she walks my mom and dad are dry, humping in the living room some more. Yep.

And then Mark happens by and metal gears them. Yeah, okay. That's exactly I wrote. He throws a rock to distract them like they are a video game guard. And why there was no reason for this. None. Nothing happens.

I didn't understand that part at all. Also when the woman, the girl walks out of the room, they're like, hey, where are you going? I can't talk right now. I can't tell you about your son's attempted murder earlier this evening. Like, wait, what? Like what are you just not gonna make?

Like, oh, sorry, I don't want to interrupt your make-out session on the couch, mom and dad. All right, and then, okay, quick riddle for you. What do you get when you mix a blue shower curtain, a fluorescent lights tapal to the wall, and a clipboard? If you said hospital, you are correct. You made this movie. If you said hospital, you made this movie.

Can we talk about the clipboard for a second? I put a post, I put an image in the, it's the periodic table. It's the periodic table. Very much the periodic table very much the periodic table on a clipboard and they hug it on the wall. I saw that I was like that's a fucking periodic table. Who has a who is in the hospital? They're like, we don't even know what this guy has. We had to put the whole periodic table on the wall on his chart.

He's got all. He's every element. Every single element is in this guy. It's not just the periodic table, Cecil. It's the periodic table on top of the script for this movie and this scene. You know what, I think you're right. I think you're right.

You think that's exactly what? It's fucking amazing, man. Oh, Jesus. How's it amazing man? Jesus Possible and so she comes into this bullshit set they have this weirdly long awkward conversation between her and the nurse That's just like is visiting our visiting hours over no they continue for another 54 minutes Are you sure it's 54 because my clock might be a little slow. No, you're right. It's 56. I was doing the math wrong. I always, I don't know why I always fucked that up. I know it's six is minus 10 isn't six. If that goes on for like 45 seconds and finally the nurses like, all right, I feel like I leafed. Now I exit the scene. And then the camera pans and

there's an IV bag full of urine next to my guess. I don't know. Hey, that is an IV of pure yellow. But hey, let's listen, like at that point when I show the IV bag, I was like, Oh, okay. Things when I would all out for this scene. Yeah. The props they do and don't have for this movie are like I want to just like honestly what I want from my birthday this year is just to go with the guy who made this movie and find out how

he got an IV back. That's what I want. I just want to be on that journey. Listen to him. Listen to Glenn Beck on the radio on the way there. Loudly argue with his baby mom about not having to spend Christmas with his kids. I'm a man of simple ass. Oh, now, of course, this is the moment where Catherine really lays it all on the line for Academy Award consideration.

Oh, goodness gracious. Yes. Absolutely. Now, as bad as an actor as she is, you almost like, you know, everyone here is like, you know, the third best in their community theater, or trooper, whatever,, you almost, like, you know, everyone here is like, you know, the third best in their community theater, or trooper, whatever. But you almost forgive her because the lines that she's supposed to be saying are so much worse than her fucking acting. She's also very, very clearly reading her script. She's like, oh, I never thought that this would happen to us.

this would happen to us. Yes. All right. So now it's day 43 for some reason. So keep in mind, it has now been 43 days since Mark saw his mom's boob for a second while they were eating a hamburger. Don't lose track of fucking chronology. Got it. I mean, look, the movie makers aren't going to write two weeks and two days later.

This is much better. It's a real good. You remember that scene, that vital scene in the high school where he got kicked out of the class? Well, the gang is here to threaten that teacher into changing his grades. And that, and let me just say that Asian kid is fucking bloodthirsty. He's the killer in this group. He gives on like, fucking kill that bitch. What the fuck are we doing here? His character's name is killer. I don't know if you love

that. There you go. That was, they're all like killer and trigger. Here's what makes this scene beautiful, right? This would be just a bad scene if they were like, hey, you better change his grades or else. But because the writer is so insane, it is just them working out the minutia of how that's going to happen. Like, bitch, if you want to live, you're going to change his grades, but I've already entered them into the POS system. All right. Do you have a management password? Well, then I'm going to need you to go into the Dean's office and find it in administrative password.

It's on a post it note next to his computer. And then she breaks up. I'm like, I can't break into the dates of this. Oh my God. It's amazing. And it's important to know that this never comes back. This is the end of this storyline, right? I expected like if they had to spend another 15 minutes on the highest where they had to drop her into the records office, Tom Cruz style and she's to catch her sweat. It would make no more or less fucking sense.

We never see her again. Never see us. Yeah. And the other thing too is that these guys are so fucking stupid. She could have just turned them in like, oh, you want to do this great change and just turn and wrote on the someone else's test A plus. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We're good. We're good. So long, guys. And then call the police. Yeah. She could have written an A plus on the board and it would be a fine formula. These guys are so stupid. This is the first, but definitely the last time in the movie

that the movie was disturbing, not because of its content, but because there was no fight choreography or planning. Oh gosh. They're just swinging this prop gun around and I'm like, head, head, head. Oh god. Like very clearly shoving this actress when she's not ready and then being like oh Mrs. D are you okay? All right, so now it's 60 days later and not day 60 guys 60 days later

That would be day 103 keep up. Okay All right, so mom and dad are fucking Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. photographs, I've spent a tremendous, I have my 10,000 hours of watching people fuck, we're pretending we will fuck. I didn't want a second more of this. Let me tell you. No. Well, and it's, it's what they're saying to each other to it. One point, the mom's like, deeper.

And I'm thinking, who doesn't use the whole thing? He goes in and he's like, no, I'm saving some for later. I'm just going to use it for a sh-back. Yeah. I'm, I'm saving some for later. I'm just gonna use force back. Yeah, I'm just gonna use part of it until she ends. For banking maneuver. Cause I'm a gentleman. Yeah, so, but what we're supposed to be getting out of this scene is that Mark is watching his parents fuck and he's thinking about killing one of them with the butter spreader in his hand. It might as well have a pen dolphin on the end. thinking about killing one of them with the butter spreader in his hand.

It might as well have a pen dolphin on the end. He might as well be planning to stab them to death with a live laugh love commemorative poem. There is nothing sillier. All right, so but but that scene ends and now it's time for the family meeting. The family meeting guys. They need to go over him watching them fuck and murdering his sister's boyfriend and also the chore wheel.

Yeah, right. Yeah, right. So they gather all the kids together and they're going to argue with him about the great he got in school because you only get to one. Yeah, it's a and a and all of school I got today. Exactly. All school gave me a grade for the school was a. Yeah.

At a certain point, at a certain point, the dad says something and I might be skipping ahead here when the dad asked him, he's like, what is this I hear about these other things you've done? Yeah. He says, what is this I hear about these four felonies you've committed? Right. Yes. What is this I hear about committing felony assault?

Yeah. That's the first time you've talked about it. It was 40 fucking days ago. Yeah. Sixteen or less. Thanks. Thanks. We can get around to that now. That's 60. I'm thanks. Thanks. We can get around to that now.

Yeah, 60. I'm sorry. I'm losing track of the timeline. No, I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry murder, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So then he, and then he, he's mounted his sister for snitching on him. So he attacks her, which is when dad figures out how to solve this problem once and for all. Fight me in the storage unit.

Who just has a random storage room and okay. No. I have so many. That is the least. Yes. Thank you. I have. He's like, you're going to go fight me in the storage unit and Mark's like, absolutely,

can't wait. And then he turns to his wife and he's like, don't worry. When I was a kid, my dad did the same to me. It was a really great bonding experience. And then we flash back to, well, yeah, okay. So yeah, first of all, let's, let's, let's keep in mind that he puts stakes on this fight. He says, you and I are going to fight in the storage unit. And whoever wins gets to kick the other one out of the house. Spoiler

alert, they will not fight in the storage unit. Yes. They, they will not, they will not go through this right of passage in the storage unit. You're absolutely right. This right-of-passage for their relationship. That seemingly every child in this family has had. So, yeah. Long-wine. I really wanted it to happen, but it was the typical storage unit. All right, son. Are you ready to settle this once and for all?

A sure-em, Dad. You're going down! Oh, yeah, yeah, it's a little full in here. Yeah, I'll say. We could still be fighting here though. Can we? There's not like a ton of room for us to fight in here. Yeah, yeah. You want to help me with this?

I just move it a little bit. Is this the old TV? Why do you still have this? We cost a thousand bucks. Sure, but we have a new TV. Just help me move it, please. There are like five bikes in here. Yeah, you want one?

I got extras. I don't really bike. Well, you should. It's good for you. It's good for you. Yeah, you want one? I got extras. I don't really bank. Well, you should. It's good for you. I know, I hear that. Yeah. You're about to work maybe? I don't know. Yeah, I could. All right. So, um, fight to the death?

Yeah. Let's do the- oh, is that my sled? Oh, wow, it is! Oh, that's a big one. That was fun. Oh. That honestly would have been a hell of a lot better than the fight choreography. We were kidding, right? But yeah, but I just want to re-emphasize that if you own a home,

you're allowed to kick people out of it. You don't have to do like a, a trial by combat on this. You don't have to put your, your wife and your daughter on the line, Is collateral or anything? You don't live at one Thunder dome lane, you know what the fuck? All right. So yeah, we flashback momentarily to dad's storage locker, gladiator battle with his dad. God. Yeah. That is awesome too.

That choke scene, the choke scene where he he's jokes his son and the son goes Like powers down that's fucking amazing this moment gave me so much exciting because these actors were really just He was like and fight but don't hurt each other The movie wanted me to be like oh no a no, a fight. And I was just like, oh, no, please, there's so many corners. Yeah. So, but yeah, so we have finished the flashback and dad modern day, dad explains to modern day mom, it's okay. I'll fight him. I'll choke him out. Then he'll like, you know, go

off and talk to a pastor or something and turn Christian. Trust me, it works every time. Literally. All right, so now it's day, I'm sorry, it's the 60 second day. I think it's 41 days earlier. 60 second day. Wait, it's earlier now they've gone back in time. But they wait because they don't know how math works.

Yes, but the fucking, but the movie thinks it's that's later than the last one. So, but it was 60 days later than the time. No, it's so fucking stupid. Okay. All right. But yeah, so okay, Mark's gang is chilling. And this is the first time we see the unrented apartment that they are going to hang out in this long entirely white, blindingly decorless room. Two black selfies. Yeah. And this is where we will establish the pattern, by the way.

So there is one character in this movie who's an entire characterization from the beginning to the end of his performance will be, hey man, don't make us some drinks. Yep, that's it. And they have to take turns answering the door too. That's one. That's another part of the gang initiation. Very important part. You've got to make sure that we distribute the door opening to each member of the gang. It's, it's an equal thing we have to do here. Right. It's not based on who's closest to the door. And this would be so much less uncomfortable if both of those characters in this instance weren't black people being told by a white man what to do.

Yep. Every time for the rest of the movie someone is told to make drinks or answer the door. It will be the same white actor talking to a different black actor. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So Mark shows up. He tells him about the big fight he's going to have with his dad. Winner gets to keep his mom and sister. I wanted them all to squeal like he was announcing

his bringing. Oh, I knew this was coming. Honestly, I did not say the other day, we were branching and I was like, Mark's gonna fight his dad. I said this, I said this, I'm so, oh, I'm so glad to see you in your power, Mark. I'm so glad to see this. Oh, good. I love that they're like, the Asian kids like, can I watch? And then the bands are back and forth is, you like to watch, don't you?

I do like to watch. You're just saying, what's so look at my watching? I have so many questions about that line! Alright, and then we get my nominee for Best Title Card of the movie. It comes up and it says, Da 65. Da da da. Time for the dad and son battle.

Da da da da. Da da da. Should I put two ellipses? No! battle dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot He's got a he's got a bird silhouette shirt on Silhouettes of flying birds and basically they're getting ready for the fight mom is not too sure about Settling family disputes via thunder don't but what are you gonna do right? Honey, let's go watch your brother fight your dad That's what she says. She knocks on the door. She, hurry up honey, it's time for the fight. The fight. Yes. Honey, time to watch your dad fight your brother to the death.

Fuck man. All right, so they start walking towards the storage locker and fucking Mark comes early, right? He splashes all over the place. I mean, he runs up from behind as Dad's walking to the storage locker and attacks him. Dad whoops is asked like, it's easy. The fight choreography on this is amazing because you know they worked this out, right? Like, you know these two spend an entire weekend working on this one.

Yup. Counting under their breath, the whole scene. It is very thrust. So he knocks him out and then he goes to wake him up. He's like, get some water to wake him up. One, that's not how being knocked out works. Two, there is so much water. So, she comes out with the aquarium. Here you go. Stay with the pot. Way too much water on this actor. He is eggs and the actor, by the way, absolutely notices.

Like the water, he's like, and he starts to do the wake up thing, but there's four more gallons of water to pour on him. He's soaking wet for the end of the scene. He's getting water-borted at the end of the scene. Absolutely. Absolutely. All right. So now we head back to the sample unit where the gang hangs out and Mark shows up. He has to tell him that he lost his fight and got beat up by his dad.

But now he can stay there with Justin Timberfake for a bit. Yeah. So they go out to celebrate. They go to a club by which I mean, that couch from before, but now under a green light. Now it is dark. That's right. And this is where the waitress comes over and God,

she's like, what can I get you? And he's like, yes, I'll have two rums and coaks and a kiss. Yeah. Again, it's the fucking, it's the in cells that, that Caesar was talking about writing what they think picking up women would be like. Yeah. Who thinks that works?

Yeah. Like what asshole out there is like, yeah, no, you just, all you have to do is just ask for it. And the women can't help but give it to you. It's, it's like this movie was written by aliens who's only other contact with humans was Roush V. That's what this movie. And there's no other extras in the entire bar at this entire scene.

There's no other extras. It's just them standing in front of wall. And when they do finally get to a bar in a few seconds, it's, there's nobody else in this bar. That's it. It's just them standing in front of a wall. And when they do finally get to a bar in a few seconds, it's, there's nobody else in this bar. That's it. It's just them. They could not afford a single extra for any of these scenes. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. So, and then, okay, so they're in the bar. They're hanging out. They look up and one of them and Mark goes, Hey, my sister's here with that guy from the other night. That was six weeks ago, but okay, the other night. That's true.

Bantensha, your title cards, idiot. Jesus. And so his buddy goes, Hey, man, you want us to beat him up? He goes, no, I've got a better idea. His better idea was that they beat him up. I would be in love. What did you say? Sorry. I wasn't being an active listener. I missed that part. That's so good. Oh man. Yeah, they do, they go walk up to the guy. And then the guy, at first, what does he say?

Says something like, hey man, leave us alone. And then he's like, no wait, leave me alone. What do you say? He's like, we don't want any trouble. What I mean to say is I don't want any trouble for you. I just say, I'm actually a coward, I'm leaving. Yeah, so Marcus goes to beat him up. The bouncers break it up.

So then we get the scene where they're in the parking lot and Marcus breaks up with Katherine because her brother's too fucking insane. I didn't get his thing where he's like, look, I like you a lot, but my mother has said that if I go to the hospital again, she will not be financially liable for me. So this is a money thing.

Yeah. He goes, I can't get hurt again. Like physically, I can't get beat up with a sledgehammer again. That was very expensive the first time around. The line is even if I am bleeding to death. Yeah. Yeah. What does that tell you about our medical system here in the United States?

Yeah. Moms won't even pay for their bleeding to death's children to get better. You're like, don't get me wrong. I'm willing to get hit by a sledgehammer for you again. I just can't afford it. Yeah. Those premiums are killing me. All right. So mean well, okay. Now we go to a different club.

The boys are hanging out talking about how sexy the women that we can't see off screen are. Oh man. There's so many women here. You said it. And the same way Tris comes over. It's a different club, but yes, it is different. Same way Tris. She has a ponytail now, so you won't notice. But yes, she would like to know what they'd like to drink. And, uh, Noah, would you, would you tell us what Justin Timberfake responds?

Well, apparently mistaking her for an anal decanter of some sort, he says, I'd like to drink your ass. It's, you see the actor realize that doesn't work. But what can I do to drink? I'd like to drink your ass. What? And then what are the guys? What are the guys? Can't even help themselves is what does that even mean? Yeah. I just want to and then he goes like, he's like, look, I've got a lot of money. He slips her some money. He says, going to date with me, she's like, fine. I'm like, I want to walk through the world this writer thinks he lives in.

Yes, he gives her the maximum he gives her is $200. Right. Yeah. But then, but then she's like, okay, I'll have sex with you. Fine, but I got, I got to finish my shift first. I want to make $240. Right. Yeah, exactly.

All right. So yeah, and now it's time for him to get into an argument with his buddy Trigger over which of them has more game, right? Which is better at picking up the ladies. So Trigger decides to take up the challenge. He's going to go pick him up, self up a hot chick. Now, we only see them talking from a distance because the writer would be damned if he was going to try to write more pickup lines.

I mean, I think he'd pretty much nailed it with the drink. You're asked how he was going to, how was he going to go up from there? So he, but he picks up a lady without giving her $200. Bragg's about it. Then wanders off to fuck her. Yeah. Oh, they awkwardly kiss first. So they stand in front of everybody, they awkwardly kiss and then one of his hype men in the back says, play, uh, play, uh, on repeat for about this.

Like, like he's a phone alarm that you're like, definitely trying to shut off at the opera. I do, I do, I have to say though, I love that these guys are each other's hype man though. I mean, these guys really do like each other a lot and they are very excited when the other one scores. They're super excited about it. I've never been that invested for a friend, but I appreciate that someone out there is. All right. So now we get one of the most insane things that we're going to, what I've topped three most insane things we're going gonna see in this whole movie. So this trigger and the woman, he's just picked up.

They go to some room to fuck. And there's the awkward space work moment. So the thing is she's supposed to be drugging him or something, but the part where she takes the drugs out and puts them in the cup, take too long, they've run out of dialogue. So she has to ask him, like, are you thirsty two different times and shit? You know, and he doesn't reply with, I wanna drink your ass.

Like, I don't know why that doesn't come up. She wasn't there for you, you can use that line now. It's just a new line. Exactly. To be clear, she opens a bottle of very clearly store bought bottle of date rape drugs and drugs. I vitamins. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Drops a silver.

Drops a multivitamin the size of my fist into his red Kool-Aid, which he has exactly two cups of. Yeah. Yeah. Here, let me go to the bathroom and get a drink for us of this red liquid. All right. So yes, he's so she drugs him and then she's like, Hey, wouldn't it be sexy if I blindfolded and handcuffed you and he's like, Oh, that would be just rob it. Okay, sure.

Why not? Why not? His response is I hate being both blindfolded and Well, you splatter me. I mean, well, no way there's not cops in this universe. Never mind And she's like, and he's like, no, no, it's fine fine. You're gonna handcuff me and blindfold me Yeah, so she handcuffs them and blindfolds him and then she leaves and this gigantic white dude comes into fuck him instead. John Cena.

And again, okay, so here's my question. Does the movie think this is funny? I know, that's interesting. Right. Yeah, well, okay, yes, it does. Yes, it does, but that is revealing something that happens later on. So yes, it does think it's funny, but it's something, but it's because of the dialogue that happens later.

It certainly isn't played for comedy. No, it's not, but like it is later. It's referred back to at least a, it becomes a running joke eventually. But yeah, that's the thing is that this movie has so little sensitivity about what it's talking about. That you really don't know if they're like, do they think it's funny when, because when a dude gets raped, I, yeah, who knows? Also, do they think somehow a giant buff dude has a hard time finding other dudes to fuck

you? Yeah, right? He has to go to the lab or crisis to rape someone. Like all he has to do is just be like, Hey, here's the deal. I like to fuck guys, but I like to keep it on the deal. And every single gay guy out there's like, yes, sir, what problem? I mean, I don't even think I'm gay and I'd probably be down for like, you know, you'd have to bite me. I think a guy gets pretty cool. I'm sorry. I'm pretty cool. It'sed sir. I am. And drugs. You have to relate with a multivitamin. Oh, you had me. All right. So now, uh, fucking Justin Timber fake is ready to leave with the Ask to Cancer waitress. Uh, we have

some vital. How will we fit everyone in the car? I don't know why this movie is amazing. But people will talk about this movie. They'll be like, Oh, you got to see the scene with the rape and you're, Oh, you got to see the scene with the mom. No, no, no, no. This is what makes this movie. Yeah.

This is what I will think about on my deathbed is this scene where he's like, my car only fits five people, man, and this seven of us. All right. Well, how about I call an Uber? Well, I can't because my phone is out of minutes. Ha ha. Your phone is always seven of us. All right, well, how about I call an Uber? Well, I can't because my phone is out of minutes. Your phone is always out of minutes. All right. It's a check-offs phone.

It gets introduced way early in the script. Something has to happen with check-offs phone eventually. You can't, you cannot, there's no way you could introduce a plot point like this and not resolve it. No, no, but when they do resolve it, it's like, as if like, check off just clean to the gun and put it back on the rug, right? I guess that's true.

All right, so now we cut back to trigger. He has just been anally raped by giant John Cena, dude. And they like, look, again, this is, this is an uncomfortable scene, right? Like a movie that was well made, this would still is an uncomfortable scene, right? Like a movie that was well made, this would still be an uncomfortable scene. This is not well made, which makes it kind of like, it's funny, right? Like, I mean, it's done so poorly that it's,

like, first of all, okay, he's handcuffed, but not to anything. Nope, right? So like, that was a whole big thing was like, no, I was handcuffed so I couldn't get away. I was like, no, you can still just walk off. No, I'm wearing handcuffs. That's like safe Fuck to nass. And also, okay, so the rapist had sent it to like pay to 12 year old kids and they go in there and unlock this guys handcuffs But they have to play out the scene where like they can't find the key and oh, it's over

there and no, it's under, it must be under those sheets. Like for no fucking reason, just to make this last that much longer. Yeah, I want the kid to cough and start gesturing for a tip of the end of the game. Anything else I can get you just let me know. Also, the kid, the kid has like weirdly. Like, I'm only 12 years old. And as the first time I've ever seen that woman, it's just like, it's like, what is this? Is it like you're not being questioned by the police right now, kid?

Calm down. I am establishing my character, goodbye forever. All right, so we go back to the sample unit hangout. Now it's time to fucking resolve the phone sub- Oh, right. You're right. We watch him call his phone company and make a phone payment. We watch the fucking person at the phone company answer.

Right, we cut to the lady on the phone, which is by the way, it's just some lady they know sitting in that same room, but pushed all the way, is just some lady they know sitting in that same room, but pushed all the way to the edge. So it's like going to office. Yeah. Very real office. I am not outside near the air conditioner.

How can I help you smoking a cigarette with a headset on reading clearly reading the script right now? We watch him get put on fucking hold We stay on hold with him And then one second later we cut to him having already done that and the phone will never come up again And that was the point of that in the movie. Yep. There was amazing There was a four-scene arc to he paid his phone bill. I just spent all that time on it. Amazing. Okay. So now Trigger shows up to hang out with the boys, but he's acting pretty weird. I was like, Hey, man, what happened that last night?

We saw you and he's like, did not get raped by John Cena. No. That's a weird trick. It's like you got to stick up your butter something. Something's weird about you. So he has to lie. I love this too. He has to lie about what happened, you know what? Because he doesn't want his friends to know. So he pretends that he had like a threesome with that hot chicken or friend.

And we flash back to his lie. Because they wanted to shoot a threesome scene. Yep, exactly. But I have a theory that they tried to like surprise these actresses with it because what actually they shoot is the scene from before where the cheese kissing him. And then the other girl just sort of walks in the room and is like, this looks fun.

And then she just dives right in. Another amazing believable line right before that girl comes in. The girl's on the phone and she's like, oh, what am I doing? I'm trying to get my fuck on. This is what she's doing. I'm going to have that tattoo to cross my stuff. All right. And now it's the 11th day since that dude caught a glimpse of his mom's food. And this is the greatest scene in the fucking movie. Right. It is because it's just

just in Timberfake fucking the waitress girl. And that's it. Yep. The fourth sex scene in this movie. It's not the waitress girl, guys. Oh no, it's, it's the phone lady. It's the lady that was on the phone, the previous scene. Oh, they're, they're talking about being put on hold. Like all the conversation you can't really hear, but if you have headphones on, you can hear what they're talking about. And she's like, talking about how I'm glad you finally talked to my boss. And after you got put on hold, like they're talking about the hold conversation. Jesus Christ. So we're supposed, I'm glad you finally talked to my boss and after you got put on hold like they're talking about the whole. Oh, Jesus Christ.

So we're supposed, I'm sorry, wait, we're supposed to believe that he's so good at paying his phone bill that he managed to fuck the girl that put him on hold 51 days later. You're supposed to believe that. And this is one that this is the scene where they name him. Yes, this is where this is finally where the scene where they give him a name. What name do they go with, C-Sol? They call him Timster. Timster.

Some people call me Timster. Yeah, every time he said that for the rest of the movie, I had to pause and wipe tears for my aunt. Timster. It's Timster, guys. We couldn't think of a better nickname than Timster. At the end of this scene, right, he goes to motorboat this actress. She doesn't have a particularly ample bosom.

She's lovely. Yeah. So instead, he just grates his face across her lip to the heart and discomfort of everyone involved. Alright. So with that very important scene out of the way, we fast forward to day 161. Oh, God. We get mom coming home, Mark Caesar in the yard. He wants to make up with mom coming home, Mark Caesar in the yard. He wants to make up with mom and dad

and come back to the house now, but dad would never allow that. Hey, mom, I got to this dirty old picnic basket. I didn't even know that was. By the way, this entire scene, there is a guy who is like, I don't give a fuck about your movie. I got it again in the again. He's just walking through the background. He's just taking shit out of the fucking back seat, putting it in

the front seat. Oh, he was so much more interesting than the dial. Yeah, he doesn't want to move. He's like, he comes up to his mom. He's like, mom, I just miss you. And she's like, well, I don't think you can come back. He's like, I doesn't want to move. She's like, he comes up to his mom. He's like, mom, I just miss you. And she's like, well, I don't think you can come back. He's like, I don't want to move back in. I just want to, you know, kind of have a maternal relationship with benefits. That's all I'm working for in a month. Come on. He can't turn me down, can you?

So yeah, so mom goes inside, tells dad that that Mark was outside and wanted to like be their son again, at which point, because of course the anytime these two are on scene, they have to start making out like gross 14 year olds or something. She sits in his lap, she comes to the side and sits in his lap. Yeah. Yeah, they start making out. She says, oh, Mark was outside. So he throws her from his lap.

Literally throws her off. And says, no, he can't come back. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Cause he controls, and then she asks, can I see him? And he's like, no, you can never see him again because I control every aspect of your mo, of your existence.

It all belongs to me. Clearly. Yeah. Also, she's, she's like, I need to change. She's like, I got to go change. And she has to walk away. You're like, you're already in your club dress. That's what you wear when you sit on the couch.

All right. So now the title cards have given up any pretense that they weren't just fucking with me the whole time. And it says the very next day I cried with laughter when I saw that title. Very next day. So marks in a coffee shop secretly meeting with his mom. One of the many things they don't get about the time dimension is how long it takes to walk off and order a coffee and come back with one. It turns out it's 13 seconds long.

I'm gonna freeze to throw it at her as she was walking up. I'm here. Have this coffee. It's free. Bye. I timed it was 13 seconds. She walks away. She literally turns around and walks right back on screen with it piping hot, piping hot empty cup of coffee for you to hold. They can't even like pretend that it has liquidated because as soon

as it gets, it turns it halfway sideways. Yeah. Right. Awesome. And what's most amazing isn't the fact that they think that it only takes 13 seconds. What's amazing is that we just sit there for 13 seconds watching Mark wait for his coffee. Yep. This is the part of the movie where I started like I wondered what's the worst cancer I would volunteer for to get out of Washington. Because I got to have a couple of movies in a row. They think I'd have to have a pretty bad cancer before they would volunteer for to get out of Washington. I missed a couple movies in a row. They're like, I'd have to have a pretty bad cancer before they would say, no, do you go

ahead and take this one off to Noah? I got to cold erectile by the end of it, but I started off with like ear cancer. Yeah. And again, they only stay in this cafe for 30 seconds, right? Yeah. Because he's like, so how's that? And she's like, pretty mad at you. Anyway, gotta go. I had exactly 30 seconds of this half-aid affair. We're done with our three lines of dialogue so long. Yup. Yeah, exactly. All right.

So now it's the 180th day. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. We're at some part of somebody's house that they're gonna pretend as a restaurant and Marcus. Remember Marcus, obviously not. He was the guy that was dating the sister that got beat up by the sludge. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So now he's trying to pick up poor man, Sarah Silverman. But hold on before, before she gets, she does order a drink and here's what the waiter says, here's the mocha you requested. Here is the chocolate sauce cow milk combination. You demanded in exchange for goods and services.

Yeah. And okay. So once again, we get some of this great pickup line artistry from the writer here Right the guy starts up and he's like, hey, is this he taken and she's like I'm very clearly studying and don't want to talk to you He's like, all right. Well, what if we talk on Friday night? He says to me says I have this friend dog. It's amazing. He says a Marcus by the way. What's yours? I'm amazing. I am written that down. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. It's so good though. Oh, man. So yeah, no, okay, something like, and I, and I, kudos to this character. She's the only person that reacts

sanely to this movie's idea of flirting. She's just like, go the fuck away. And then walks off now. Later on the movie, he will show up for a date with this girl. Yep. Apparently it worked off screen at some point. Yeah, she says that she ends the conversation with in your fucking dreams and then closes her book

and storms off and I'm just like, holy shit, that means something else in this universe. In your fucking dreams means date next week. Let's do it. Yeah. All right. So meanwhile, back at the gang apartment, everybody's doing a magic trick together.

But trick isn't enjoying it because he's having rape flesh back. Yeah. Yeah, he's really starting to break up down over that rape that happened 98 days ago. So he starts crying and wanders back to the bathroom and there's like, you know, there's the whole like there's no crying and card tricks moment. All his friends fuck with him. And one of the guys is just like ruined my magic trick. He leaves and the guy literally says ruined my magic trick. So okay. So Mark follows trigger

back into the bathroom and he's like, Hey, man, what's what's going on? And he's like, okay, don't tell anybody, but that night when I said I had that threesome with the scroll, I actually got handcuffed and raped by a giant white guy. It's like, no, she didn't blindfold you. Did she? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's in a car. He's huddled in the corner. I was certain point because the guy, he says, so she, she put handcuffs in blindfold. It means he's like, no, God, no, no, you didn't let her do that. Did you know? Way. Yeah. He reacts way too early. He's like, so we went into the house and you got fucked by John Cena. I know. I'm in the moon. I love to his effort to talk down

as PTSD rape victim friend is to say, man, you can't let stuff bring you down. Yes. And it's what he's also, there's one other amazing line in here where he goes. The guy says, but instead someone else walked in to which he replies, what do you mean someone else walks in like not her. That's a why could he possibly have meant? That is precisely what someone else means. Thank you.

God. It's so amazing. And at a certain point, he starts to tell the guy like he tries to console him by saying, don't worry, you were drunk. That means you're not fully gay. I don't even know what that, I don't even know what you're trying to reassure him with with you were drunk. That means you're not fully gay. I don't even know what that I don't even know what you're trying to reassure him with with you were drunk What are you trying to reassure him with I don't even want to have this explain to me So mark mark is like don't worry I'll go killer right and he's like no, yeah, yeah tell anybody

So so he's gonna murder her, but not tell people why? I feel like I could end up awkward, right? Yeah. Yeah. Please, no. This is for Trigg. Whoa, dude, you just shot that lady who had sex with Trigg.

Oh. Yep. Why? I was... You know... Just Cuz. Just... Cuz?

Eh, you know, just... You know... Did she do something to Trigg? What? No! No! She... Oh, well, actually, you what, she fucked him too good. What she did, so I shot her. Well, then, you shot her for fucking trig too good.

That is what I came up with, yes, uh-huh. Okay. Okay. The thing the cops don't exist in this universe, huh? Right? All right, so yeah, and by the way if we're wondering what a great guy Mark is he walks out of the bathroom and he immediately Turns to all the friends he goes man, you can believe this shit trigger got butt fucked by some dude at the party that night They say so many times Yeah, I haven't said red or heard the term butt fucked for like 20 years. And I don't never need to hear it again.

You got your fail. I want to say like, oh, that's hyperbole, but that's like literally what they said. It's like, dude, he totally got butt fucked, yo. And they're like, no, did you get butt fucked? Yeah, he got butt fucked. Butt fucked, you say? Yeah, butt fucked. It's like it's the medical term within this movie. Like I wanted to start to, it seems like you've been butt fucked in the fourth degree.

And again, are they playing this for comedy? They are. At this point, they are so, I think so. Everybody's giggling about him getting raped. Yeah. And then they come out, they come out, the guy comes out, gets mad. And then they have like a hug fight for a minute. There's like a, like a weird awkward hug fight where like one guy's trying to hold the other guy back, but they don't,

clearly don't want to touch each other. And so they're like, they're kind of doing that mime thing where you press a hand against another hand. You know what I mean? Like it's like, like they're like, they're well, they're both locked in a box, but those boxes are slowly collapsing in on each other. It was a really strange moment in this move. Yeah, I mean, it played like, you know, you have you ever like gone to fight somebody and like assuming that everyone was gonna hold you back

and then they didn't. Right? Yes, I certainly played like that moment. Yes, I certainly played like that moment. Uh, all right. So now we move back to Marcus, the girl that turned him down now he's showing up for the date that apparently he has with her

and he catches her making out with the sister the cathart the title card by the way for this scene is two hours early and then and the opening line is mar going well, I'm two hours away Yeah, so studying chicken sister chick are making out because that's right the director wanted to convince the two of them to do some lesbian stuff Right, right, and by the way Marcus responds to this by saying wait, when did you say you were gay?

Do you have to declare that kind of thing? And by the way, Marcus responds to this by saying, wait, when did you say you were gay? Do you have to declare that kind of thing? Is it like customs? You get a special stamp in your passport for it. Yeah, absolutely. All right, this is where I came up with my meta theory for this movie. Are you ready? This is my theory about this movie.

This movie is made of a combination of old pornoscryps they found like gay porn, straight porn, incest porn, and they just like cut out all the fucking and turned it into this movie. Well, most of most of the fucking yeah, no, I love that in this scene, they pronounce loudly. Do you want to have a threesome? Like they say that out loud. Do you want to have a threesome? Like they say that out loud. They like, do you want to have a threesome? Yes, I would like to have a threesome. And then they look at Marxist Marx,

like, fuck that shit. And I'm like, what is wrong with you idiot? Yeah. Because Marxist is like, not for me. Yeah. No, as a matter of fact, he's very disappointed on both of his states for wanting to have sex with the wrong gender.

Right, like that's how they play this is like, oh, man, wouldn't it be disappointing if you showed up for your date and the girl you were dating was making out with some other girl. I wanted you to have sex with both of them. Like, that's the way the scene plays out. All right. So now dad, the dad character is out of mechanics office to pay off a gangster little person. That's right. Is what's happening in the movie. Okay, wait a second. I need to talk about the surprise little person.

This movie surprises you with and never acknowledges a little person. Right. And what way are they supposed to acknowledge you, me? Oh, you're a little person. That's what you do. You acknowledge when there's a little person on your movie. So what I found most baffling about this wasn't the fact that there was a little person in it.

It was the fact that like all of a sudden, the dad character has a $40,000 debt to a gang that hasn't come up until this point and is about to get killed over it. This will never come up again or have more context. No, he's going to get killed. He's going to get killed for it. Why is he going to get killed for it by the, by the little person because he's a little short. That's why that's why he's

Mark appears and is just like oh you can have my share and then I will give you the rest of the gang that we are all in. Yeah, yeah. And so mob boss is like, all right, that's cool. Then I won't break your dad's leg. But he does make his chubby bodyguard make him kiss his son's feet though before he leaves. He's like, chubby bodyguard, can you, it can tort my, my, this person here, he onto the ground and make him kiss his son's feet. And the chubby got bodyguard complies. So they can't quite do it though. So they just sort of jerk the dad around by his jacket for a little bit. And he makes the same sound as he did when he got a choke down. He's just like, with the key is that now that Mark has paid off dad's mob debt, he's allowed to come back to the house like a good son. And when dad leaves, they turn to each other and they're like classic ruse, the old, paying

off your dad's unacknowledged mob debt to the little person with your share of their empire, which we also never mentioned. No movie plot technically. All right. Well, yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. To read you an act break. You'd need a plot I'm a realist that needs a break so we're gonna take one of those after I give the rest of this shit fast the hard sell Here we go

Will this take a last second stab at being a Christian movie after all? Will Cecil ever speak to us again? No can our friendship be salvaged after this? No, I know the answers to these questions and more when we return for the bombastic conclusion of deadly attraction. Hey, Mark, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, man, what's up? So, so it's about Tyler. Yeah, he's great, isn't he? Yeah.

Yeah, really great. Um, do you think it's a little, a little, uh, sorry, do you think it stands out that he's, you know, like just he's a little person? Is that the term? Yep, that's the term. No, I don't think it stands out. Why? I mean, do you have a problem with little people? What? No, not at all. It's just that I think he feels, I don't know, I wanna say surprising. Surprise, is that what I'm looking for? Because he's a little person. Well, maybe, I mean, I'm not just, I'd say.

No, yeah, you think we should warn the audience. Oh, watch out. Here comes a little person and four. No, it's fine, it's fine. It's fine, too. You sure? No, it's fine. You sure?

You sure? I mean, we hate for our audience to accidentally think we think that little people are just human beings. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. PAPAPAP, you know? Like, that's my gangster thing. I wear a big stovepapap. Seriously? What? What? No, never mind, it's fine. It's fine.

It's fine. I'm the stovepap dancer. You're so cool, dude. Right? And we're back for more of this shit. And we're going to start off 220 days after the inciting incident. But the title card wants to spice it up again,

bet I guess. So instead of saying 220 second day, it says, it's the 220 second day. This is where I realized that the reason all of these title cards are so insane is because someone like wrote them all out. And then they were like, this is boring. It just says the same thing over and over again. They were considered in isolation. Yes. All right. Oh, this scene is so good too, because their family's all hanging out at home, mom, dad, and and Catherine.

And Catherine and mom are talking. Dad gets a phone call, but they don't know how to mic that. Right. So he just starts moving his lips, but not talking just by. And nodding nodding at the phone too. He does that several times. Yeah. And also the dialogue again between the mom and the daughter is, are you not going to talk to me? Do you not want to socialize with us? That's what she says while they're saying. She's like, I, I, I'm just busy. I'm on my phone. Oh my

God. No one can improv anything in this movie. It's so sad. I am here with hands and feet all the days. You wonder if these people talk, right? Like just in regular days. Right. Are there Captain Plato's cave in between shoots? Yes.

Have you told me that this was like the project of an ESL class K. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.

I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.

I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I shouldn't let him move back out, back in. And I'm like, you know, you're 31. So maybe you work shit out for yourself. But why'd she just cash in your 401k? And then she storms off throwing her blankie and mom sandwich.

That's how she leaves the scene. Yes, she takes the blankie that she's had since she was a little baby that she has to sit on the couch with and throw it in mom sandwich because they still haven't got a TV tray yet. All right. So now the title card cuts in and says 223rd day, Mark moves back home. So I'm pretty sure we've circled back around and nothing happened now. All right. around and nothing happened now. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

All right, so, you know, this is stressing out because Marcus Homicidal, Mom and Dad are, of course, mid-four play when the scene with them starts because the scene with them is starting. Yep. And he goes into like, rub it in, slash choke, fight her for a second. And again, like the acting of this movie is not what worries me.

It's the total lack of fight choreography because when he goes in and starts to choke or he just actually chokes the actress for a second. So she like stabs him in the rib with her elbow and he's like, okay, um, yeah. So he chokes her and says that he's going to kill her and she better not piss him up. And then he walks away and we spend like a minute and a half with her timidly checking the door to see if he's gone or whatever. I yeah, unsure of what she was going for, but the choice I'm getting was, was that shellfish band? Oh, that shellfish was definitely bad. And she's also in her room with a sofa,

like she has a sofa in her room. Like lady, you have all the furniture. You can move out. And it's all the furniture. All right. So now the title tells us, or the title card tells us that 240 days has gone by. This is, this is the hooker scene.

Yes, it is. Okay, all right. Yeah, so Mark has to say, he's got a plan you see on how to get his dad out of the way once and for all. Now, if you've been paying a lot of attention, you'll remember, dad is a recovering alcoholic. Right. So Mark has left a bunch of beers on the table

with Drink Me, written on him, and hired a couple of sex workers to, when, like, move sexually about his father when his mom comes in, right? It's the fucking, these sex workers, oh yeah, trying to make small talk. Oh, God, the shop talk hooker stuff. Oh, the ones, because they're trying to make everything sexual, because they're hookers,

so they're trying to like have sex with Mark, but he wants them to have sex with his dad. So they're, he's like, why don't we play some cards and they're like, we play strip poker and he's like, no, I don't want to do that. At which point, one of them holds the cards in the wrong direction, facing away from her and goes, I have, looks down, realizes she is looking at the wrong side of the card and goes, I have. So amazing. That was the best I've ever seen.

The best bad space work I've ever seen. Is that girl looking at the backs of her fucking cards with a hand facing us and not turning into round? And the shop talk was, how was last night just a normal everyday guy? And then she asked the other girl, she says, what are you going to do tonight? Oh, I'm going to go out tonight. Girl night, girl time, all girls, all girls tonight. This is definitely written by an insult. I'm definitely written by an insult. So eventually we cut into that. He's drunk. Now the hookers come in and start like spring in the prostitute trap. And I feel like mom's

supposed to come in and catch him like with these with these two, uh, hookers. And I feel like she missed her cue because the sex workers have run out of shit to do long before she comes into the scene. And now we're just slinking up and down for no fucking reason. One of the girls goes down on her knees, right? Because that's where the scene was supposed to end, but it didn't, so she just gets back. Yeah, that's right back up. And she goes down and she goes, are we doing squats?

Is that what we're doing on the screen? She starts doing burpees in front of us. And I love that this dude is 100% blackout drunk off three carol. Dude is out. Yes. So of course mom walks in and she's like, Hey, what are you doing with these fully dressed women who refuse to get naked even though we offered them out extra 50 bucks. But she's done with this drunk and asshole.

She tells them to get the fuck out. She's like pack your bags to get the fuck out. She's like, pack your bags and get the fuck out. Wait, sorry. I'm going to go put on a skippy negligee and then sit snutily in the bed. Then you can pack your back and get the fuck out and be very careful because you got to get all your hangered clothes out. I'm in a hanger bag. Listener, if you were that we weren't gonna watch Dad Pack everything, do it. Not where we see him roll up socks. Oh, you know how when you go into your garment bag and you try to put hangers on, you can only put like three on at a time or whatever.

Go through a little pinch. He does that. All while sadly being like a been chick. Yeah. I'm sorry for that drunk and prostitute near sex that I was. Yeah. I'm sorry. I drank three beers. It had two girls stand near me.

Can we ever repair a relationship? I don't think so. So yeah, mom actors tries to cry and I cry in solidarity with her. And then, okay, this is so great. Dad goes to leave, right? Cause he's been kicked out of the house. He passes the sister in the living room. It is now broad goddamn daylight outside,

even though this was all happening at night. Yeah, yup, yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then he says to the sister, the sister sisters, because, oh, hey, dad, how you doing? Your mom just kicked me out. Oh, dad, you're such a joker. Yeah. No, I'm serious. Our relationship, our 20 year relationship is ended with your mother. I'll never speak to again. Good luck at all your endeavors. But the scene can end until we look back through the window at Mark's steepling his fingers

sinister. Right, but you know what? It's hard to play a moja ha ha through giant fucking lilac bushes, which is what you do. You have to watch it for a second to go. Oh, I'm supposed to be looking through the window. That's Mark. I see God is this.

All right. So now it's that night again. Oh, God. I now it's that night again. Oh, God. I, it's re that night. Mark, she's just mom passed out on the couch. And he's like, oh, maybe I should give you a shoulder massage, mom. And she's like, yeah, that's not an inappropriate thing at all for my son to do. She's wearing like, she's also wearing like a, like her bust is like windowed in like

another club dress. Yeah. Like, it's one of those like it comes around the neck, but there's a big opening for the cleave right in the center there for him to and she's clearly again in a dress napping on the couch like you do guys when you want to get comfortable ladies at home. We know you don't put on your sweatpants and your big puppy shirt. No, no, you go get your club dress and put your makeup on. That's a two-hato.

Time for a nap, just this cocktail dress. Yeah. And then there's this great moment where he has this like, hen is blue fight with his hands that want to grab his mom's boobs, right? He goes full, Dr. Strange loves grabs the tits. He definitely grabs them. So mom freaks out, she's like, hey, I'm your mom, you can't grab my boom.

Jesus, you get touched me on my freaking tits. She goes, what are you doing? He goes, I'm massaging you and she goes, on my freaking tits. She will repeat on my freaking tits several times throughout the scene. Yeah, absolutely. It pleased like they didn't tell her

that's what the scene was gonna happen. So yeah, so she does marry to get the fuck away from her. Sis wanders and I love this moment because Sis wanders in and mom says, you know, I'm starting to think that Mark might be unstable. Yeah, before she says that, her line is, what has gotten into this world is what she says

previously that I don't know what that means. Yeah. The sisters like, mom, you should kick him out. I'm like, why don't we call the cops about that attempted homicide earlier this year? That would also get rid of him. All right. So me, okay. Now we got to cut back to trigger because this movie is completely

forgotten. The trigger got raped by John Cena plot line. So we show a trigger like hunting down that 12 year old kid that untied him. Right. Nothing will come of that. Yeah. Nope. Kids just walks right by. Yep. We only know because the friends are like, where's trigger? And one of them, again, to a rortious laughs is like probably getting butt fucked again. And my right. See, butt fucked turns straight to camera looks in my eyes. Crawls out of the TV and presses his forehead against my butt fucked. fuck. So trigger comes by. He's still not very happy with Mark for telling everybody how rape he got right. Right before he comes into the door though, there's a magic cut where he like like Timsters

on one side of the room, then the door gets a knock and then Timsters on the couch and they did not edit this. I mean, like it literally is just slapped together as quickly as you can put two things together. There's not even like a fade between the two. No, my no, it is just did this scene just cut to this scene. Yeah, exactly. So trigger comes in and he's like, Mark, I'm still mad at you. There's a calm down. Get butt fucked again. But fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And then, and then Mark needs to meet with two of the unnamed friend characters in the kitchen for some plotting, right? He needs his unnamed friend characters to go do something mysterious for him. Yeah, they don't tell you that you think it might be that they're going to just go to

like pay a sign guy to make a huge trick as a butt fucker sign if you're not sure. Could be something else. Right, okay, so now we've got to these three sneaking around behind somehow. Oh, no, no, before they do, the fat guy has to put on 45 sweatshirts before he gets to, he has to put four sweatshirts on in a row. He looks like the staple of marshmallow man in like a bull's hoodie. It's awesome. And I got to take issue with sneaking around.

They are. No. And I got to take issue with sneaking around. I want to say jogging in slow motion is what's going on. Yeah, yeah, hiding behind an old dirty washer that's clearly been broken for years. And also is nowhere near big enough to cover them from anyone who might be looking to do it. So they break into this house. It turns out this is his house, a marks house, and Mark's buddies, the ones that he, you know, the favor that he asked of them, I guess,

is could you please break into my house and gang rape my mother while I watch? Yes, that's what happens in the movie. And look, like this scene is horrifying for so many reasons. Uh-huh. But the actors are so uncomfortable that the gang rape takes four seconds. Like you see both of these actors be like, ugh, ugh, sorry Mrs. Johnson. Or a dancer in the room. Oh, and it's filmed with all the delicacy of a McDonald's training video. Like to be with no idea what they're shooting here.

And it's so uncomfortable to watch, yeah. You also see them going through the steps of sex and they keep missing them? Like you'd be like, I'm gonna unzip my fly and now I pull out, wait, dammit fucks on the list. One of a mass, the other one, Wally's on top. He's like, are you gonna use a Jimmy? And the guy responds, you didn't use a Jimmy?

Is what he says right afterwards. And I'm like, well, that doesn't preclude you from doing what you have to glide into second, dude. You can put one in. We're not really worried about consistency. Just look at these title cards. And then as they leave, they turn to mark and they're like, I mean, we can't just leave her lying there on the kitchen floor. We're not. There was this very weird egg. I used a great job right in my mom, a couple of notes, but all in all, I think it was very successful.

I thought I was gonna give him a feedback sandwich. Yeah, no, he compliments their commitment to the gang rape. And then Jesus fucking Christ, his friends are like, man, I'm pretty hardcore, but even I wouldn't hire people to gang rape my mother. You're pretty hard core. Why? They give them a talking to about the rape. They just commit. I don't want to call you out in front of other people because I don't want to make this about your embarrassment. And I know I committed a rape for you just now, but I feel like you stepped over the line. But you're like, dude, you were the one licking my mom's face.

I'm just a vessel. All right, I do what I'm told. I'm a fucking professional. God, I've never felt less comfortable about joking about anything that I've joked about Jesus. All right, so then we have the scene where Catherine gets home and finds her mom laying in the kitchen after just having been raped. And again, there's nothing they can't fuck up in this movie. The number of, because we're just watching mom lay in the kitchen and we hear the sister come and home and walk around the house and say, mom, I'm home, but she says that like a ridiculous number of times.

It's stewie griffin lever mama mama mama mama mommy mommy mommy mommy all right so meanwhile the rape troop is returning to the party and this party is just so clearly a garage right would not drink a beverage that had passed through that fucking room I'm gonna stop you guys there because one of the guys says no shit. This is a nice ass party Contrary to what you can see with your eyes to what you can see with your eyes. This is a nice party. So meanwhile, and then in the background, we see giant rapist, John Cena guy. He's there with his bait girl.

He's just chilling in the doorway. You know what you do when you're getting ready to rape another person. Yeah. So bait girl goes after killer, the Asian friend of theirs, right? Yeah. Chinese on the menu tonight. Yeah. And on the menu tonight. Yeah. And trigger recognizes, or he's like,

hey, that's the girl that tricked me into getting raped. So then we get the revenge scene, which is somehow less comfortable than the anal rape scene. They pointed gun at her and they say, again, I don't know what this movie is supposed to be but in total seriousness one of them goes a friend got butt fucked. I just I want to insert butt fucked into all of the like most powerful moments in all of cinema. Did someone buck fuck my daughter in there?

Like I just want all of it. I want all of cinema ruined by the word buck fuck. She kind of get snapped out of her second. She's like, do you hear you? Cause I can hear you when you sit. Yeah. So then we watched this group of friends beat up a woman until she tells them who the rapist was.

Yeah, little enhanced interrogation techniques going on there for a few minutes. Yeah. A couple of slabs. They pissed the lipper, pull her by her hair. She finally caves. She caves eventually. Right. They always do, which is why torture is okay kids.

That's why torture works guys. Come on. And then the program, but then his friends have to go get the giant John Cena guy. Now, This guy is enormous. He's like Right, the scene where they're dragging him out. They have these two guys that are just tiny tiny little men compared to him. Dragon him around like it's obvious that they can't even fake that. So he's like guys, I'll walk just I'm gonna walk this way Just might as well come into the room with riding on his shoulders. I've tamed him. Well, what's crazy is how that scene starts is the John Cena

guy is just chilling in the doorway kind of like he's doing the motion with his eyes. Like go for the Asian one. I want the Asian one tonight. I'm feeling like that tonight. And the girl goes over, starts talking to the Asian guy and he's still standing there. Then they realize it's her. They walk up to her, grab her, run her through a series of enhanced interrogation like we mentioned earlier. The whole time John Cena is kind of standing behind him. Then he eventually disappears and like, where'd he go?

Oh, there he is. In the other room, hide behind that chair. He was, he was not fine. And she ever had and grab him. So they drag him back out, Mark shoots him. And then the girl too. He shoots both Johnson and the girl. This plot line is now over. That was it.

Yeah, she she does do a little bit of overacting theater before hands-out begging for her life afterwards too. Shit. Let's, yeah, let's lay it on a little thick here. She's like, she like breaks down hyperventilates on the ground for a few minutes. It's really kind of embarrassing. You're like, get a hold of yourself.

Yeah. Just your life. Come on now. Come on. Oh, and then they, he shoots her and then they all have to run off. I love they have this lingering shot of her and John Cena dead on the floor. And she, but she's still like lollying around even though she's supposed to be dead. You know, she's like, Oh, I guess my head would rock this and then back this

way probably and then amazing. All right. So now Mark gets home, fresh off his double homicide, but mom wants to have a stern conversation with him about hiring people to rape her. All right. It's a family meeting about trying to have sex with me and then paying your friends to rape me in a double homicide. Got every family meeting, guys, there's a homicide. So she turns to, he's like, she's uh, you've been doing drugs and now so he turns to a sister and he goes, Katherine, you bitch fuck slut whore and mom goes and I quote, don't you use such language? Yep.

Yep. Yep. And then he beats them both up after they say that and he says, look what you punk's made me do. Look at what you punkks made me do. What you punks made me do? Let's fresh off a fuck shit slut whore, but yes. And then for some random reason during, right after the fight scene or during the fight scene, I don't remember.

He reaches down on the floor where that man is spreader for. That plastic spatula. Right, right. And he threatens them with that for you to de-chestress at them for a second. Yeah, and then he backs up and he turns to his mom and he goes, you know what? Now I'm happy that I paid my friends to rape you earlier this evening. And she goes, what? He's like, that's right, it was all me.

I was watching the whole time. No fingerprints, no semen traces. That's what he said. What? Did he go in mop up all the gizz afterwards? He had a little cotton swabs or so. I don't. Yeah. Pardon me, mom. Pardon me. The two guys specifically had a conversation about not using a gym. Yeah. Right. There's plenty of semen traces, right? Also. Get a swab in there. At the end of the scene, the cameraman passes out, right? That's right.

I think you're right. Yeah, just get a 100s around the room of thinnings. Blings upwards and the scene is over. And why even mention, no fingerprints and no semen traces, if you just very explicitly gave your confession to two witnesses. Right. Like, wait, wait, I mean, I guess we don't need it now.

Yeah, exactly. Since you already told us. Yeah. Who did it? Oh, I love this part so much too. The next scene, right, Mark, his mom kicks him out of the house. I never want to see again. He calls Timster and he's like,

Hey, Timster, I got to skip down. And Timster goes, why? And I'm like, Timster was with you 18 minutes ago when you committed a double homicide with 14 witnesses in a party. Why the fuck would he ask why? He doesn't need to know. So true.

Meanwhile, okay, no, we got to check back in with dad who has just been drinking himself into M. Fizema since the last time. I got that vodka cough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He looks at, he looks at the bottle of vodka. He's like, you're my, you're my only friend, aren't you?

You're the only friend I've ever had. This is the bottle of vodka. And he literally, you're my only friend, aren't you? You're the only friend I've ever had. This is bottle of vodka. And he literally says, you're my friend, aren't you? Is what he says to a bottle? The bottle was going to answer back affirmatively. But now he's going to kill himself with a gun. I, I see what I was. So the cameras focused on him. He puts the gun to his head and then the camera you I cannot say like they might as well just turn the camera around as we watch the cameraman like chubbly sneak backwards and then someone throws jam at the inside of the window. Yeah, because you know there's no way

the bullet would continue on. No, through the window. Oh my blood works through the window. That's not how physics works. Don't be stupid. That's not how physics work. All right. Now a lot of you have been wondering, is this really a Christian movie guys? It is. There it is. Here it is. We're like over an hour and 20 minutes of the movie at this point.

All right. So Mark is passing by an old homeless guy on the street and he steals his money. And the old homeless guy says, I knew you'd do that. And Mark says, how do you know? And the homeless guy goes, your character's really predictably written to almost a cartoonish degree. So it's kind of obvious. I love this actor's old blind guy voice to it. Oh, yeah. So I'm going to call this homeless guy's acting style Kabuki. He sounds like buddy guys got like a deep ass. He's making fun of buddy guy though. Yeah, he explains he's like, you need to ask Jesus for forgiveness.

You'd be amazed like the raping your mom thing. He'll even forgive that. it's really kind of fucked up But don't worry if you ask Jesus for forgiveness. She'll be fine But if not you will die tonight The man in black around the corner will kill you Yeah, and then he ends with a nice rendition of it's a wonderful life. It's right And then he ends with a nice rendition of it's a wonderful life. It's right at the end there. Doesn't about the cow is gonna see on top of a cotton house. Yeah. Yeah. So then okay I'm pretty sure there was supposed to be a scene here where he almost died, right?

Yeah, okay. I think so what happens instead is Someone in a hoodie runs up to him with a gun and then walks away. Oh, okay, I didn't even catch that because it was so poorly lit at that point. I didn't even catch that. So what I just saw was him in a park, he starts like bending down and begging Jesus for forgiveness. I so wanted to just cut the opening sequence of Bible man into that scene, right? And I've given a whole new origin story. But yeah, he breaks down and prays and asks Jesus

for forgiveness for all the raping of his mom and killing people stuff. I'm also pretty sure that they didn't bother to get a different actor to hold the gun to him. I think it's trig. Yes, always a remedy. I think it's very much... Yeah, okay. Yeah, I thought it was trig.

It's like the fun. And you're like, that's the story. I'm not sure. Is he mad about all the butt fucking comments? Or, which is why the scene is so quick? Yeah, exactly. They're like, oh, we don't want him to know it's trick. So he like runs by with a gun.

He jogs by with a gun. And then the camera focuses on Mark. Yeah. Okay. So now it's three, this is amazing. It says three weeks later 311th day transformation begins now no surprise that math is completely wrong the last title card is 240

So unless that rape scene and party lasted 50 fucking days. That's just rock Still doing the math no, still doing the math all the way through man. He's in the cafe Reading the Bible like you do. Yeah, which part of the Bible John 316 actually is what he was reading. It's just I can't do it because the girl walks over She's like hi reading the Bible. Yes, the Bible which Bible John 316 Yes, the Bible which Bible John 316 The verse the one I first that we could think of no 2517 It's my favorite yep Favorite verse

Yeah, and then she says the least sexy thing you could possibly imagine we should go to church together He says the least sexy thing you could possibly imagine. We should go to church together. Yeah. I'm just like she says, total boner killer right there guys. That's going to do it. But I guess. Sorry. Because this is like by far the most attractive girl in the movie.

I thought the chick that he hooks up with here. So I think like the movie's message was like, you know, like she wanders off and he goes like, wow, Christianity is way better than gang raping your mom. I didn't know. All right, so now it's 54 days later. This girl's name is Erica. Mark and Erica are together. She has a kid, which is I guess from some previous relationship,

but given this movie's understanding of time, I assumed that they had had a kid together in those 54 days. Right. So does their friend later. And she's trying to convince Mark that like his mom and sister probably aren't still mad at him. Yeah. Like she's like, come on, they're not going to hold the whole gang rape thing against you. It's been a month and three weeks. Yeah. The moment she says, the moment she's like, oh, you're a change man. It's like change from paying someone to rape his mother. That's a pretty quick turnaround. Well, again, he's 60 days ago too. Yeah. He's like, I haven't raped my mother in months

with the hell of you. Maybe let a full season pass before you go back to mom and says he's got, he's got that coin that they give you at the rape anonymous meeting. That's it. I've raped somebody in 30 days. Oh God. So yes, so they go back to home. Apparently he's not in that town anymore. And how's it been for like 54 days?

So he's going back to see his gangster buddies who all act like they haven't seen him in five years. Yeah, right. Cause one of them says you had a kid and the kids like four years old. The kid is 20. It's amazing. It is in daycare. Did you bud asexually?

Is this going to be you within 24 hours? I can't tell you that aliens and the thing. The kid is talking for Christ's sakes. Is this gonna be you within 24 hours? I can't tell you anything. A kid is talking for Christ's sakes. See, they just have it. Well, when Mark finally goes, like, no, no, this is her kid. I was like, okay, these guys know more about how sex works than I was giving him credit for her.

And then, and then weirdly, one of the guys takes the kid off into a separate room. I just fell. There is not a group of, I would not leave another person's child alone with this group of friends. Even though it is drink preparation guy. Well, and clearly this is drink preparation guys kid in real life. And the kid was starting to get a little antsy. He's like, I'm gonna take him out of the room for a little bit.

Yeah. Yeah. So yes, so Mark has to tell all his buddies that he found Jesus and he doesn't do drugs starting to get a little antsy, he's like, I'm gonna take him out of the room for a little bit, yeah. Yeah, from this scene. So yes, so Mark has to tell all his buddies that he found Jesus and he doesn't do drugs or drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes or rape his mom anymore. He doesn't, he's like, hey man, you want to smoke and nobody in this movie has smoked.

No, single time. No, no. Nara's not been a cigarette introduced. Oh, you don't smoke anymore. Nobody's done it. Yeah, I can't even know where to. And then they keep making fun of him like, oh, well, you don't drink anymore. Nobody's done it. Yeah. I can't even know where to go. And then they keep making fun of it. Like, oh, well, you don't drink anymore. Well, you're not shooting heroin directly

into your eye. What's wrong with you, man? You're so boring now. Oh, and his girlfriend goes, he's not boring. He just found the Lord. And you can see he's like, you're not helping honey. They're not more impressed. Now I wanted him to head to HR doing exit interview with the gang great Obviously said to see you go anything you'd like to see changed within the gang It gives this resignation letter to the racially diverse gang Yeah, sorry, I have to leave guys. I have a better offer. It's with Jesus So I'm gonna be leaving now.

To find another fakely Hispanic. I'm sorry about that. By the way, the whole time his friends are groping his girlfriend on the couch. Super weird, by the way. Don't know why even stay in that room. Right, yeah, they're like smelling her hair and she has to keep slapping their hands away,

like bugs and a fucking picnic. It's, well, what's amazing is they don't have enough space work, right? Because like he touches her arm and she slaps him away. And then he's like, I put my toe in her nose. What is her other thing? So now, they leave. She's not comfortable in this room full of people who are just actively groping her.

Such a prude. So they drive off to a hotel, which we watch. Other than they check into the hotel, which we watch. Yep. Yep. We don't want to leave anything out. And okay, then they leave the hotel. Mom is there.

And she's right behind Mark and she has a gun. There is no setup. This happens all at once. Nope, just her usual armed visit to the days in. Right. So she's gonna shoot him, but she chickens out. Uh-huh. So now she's back in a room with cis, and she's telling the sister. She's like, marks back in town. Uh-uh. I want to kill him, and cis is like, yeah, you should probably kill him. So she calls her friend because we've got what, five minutes left in this three, three

minutes. Three minutes. Well, otherwise, how would we know how she found Mark? Oh, she was behind him as he checked into his hotel. Exactly. That's my thing. They introduced me to establish how they can find marks. He saw him at the hotel. He's You know, you don't know, but if we didn't have now, we wouldn't have vows hacking scene. I can find him using your computer tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. computer tap tap any tap tap tap tap Yep, here he is. I found him on the computer. Here he is right now. Where was he by the way guys? Where did she find him? Oh, he's in a hotel by triangle square Fuck you movie

Then I've ever fucked anything ever By I've ever fucked anything ever but Trieber Dipper Dipper Ha Us Where is he saying? Ha Trost

Ha Ha He's in North North 10 today That's where he is Don't say hotelie, Mikko Tell face Ha

Ha Trie Dipper Trie Dipper Trie Dipper co-tell face. Triangle square. Fuck you. Awesome. Amazing. All right. But we still have time for one more scene. This is the twist ending guys. I will say I came a, I, I became very close to making my best worst, best worst ending. The last two seconds of this movie for the greatest final two seconds in the history of cinema.

So I can't, I cannot stress that you are absolutely 100% right. Academy award. The rest of the movie just cut it and just do this final scene and win the Academy award. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. Oh my god. Like between the three of us, I think we probably have a collective 71 minutes of just jaw a game as this movie left ended, right?

Okay, so now mom and sister and new character of Valerie who showed up for the last four minutes are at the hotel preparing to kill Mark with their gun. They have an awkward conversation about like, does this gun make my butt look big or where should I hide the gun in your gun purse. So they they knock on the door. Erica, the girlfriend opens the door and she's like, she's like, hi, I'm Mark's mom. I'm here to see him. She's like, oh, you're here and she gives him a big hug. She's like, Mark, she has a shower. He'll be out in a bit. She answers the door with yes, may I help you? Who the fuck answers the door that way? Hello.

What is happening in your universe? Good to know, Kris today. Good to know, women, yeah. Yeah. Welcome, perhaps. What brings you before me today? Good. All right.

So she's like, you know, hey, come on in, meet my kid and everything. Mark comes out of the shower, immediately picks up the little kid. Mom pulls out the gun and shoots the little kid to death. That's the end of the proof. She's such a good or bad shot. It's amazing. And that kid, that kid owns that shot so well. He looks like he's been shot. I was like, damn, that kid's the best actor in the whole fucking movie.

Yeah, right. The kid feels like, and all somebody did was say, just be quiet, Jimmy. And that's all he did. And he was the best actor in the movie. Do we feel confident as a cast that they didn't just shoot a child. Because I do not. I seriously doubt any argument that relies on their commitment to production quality. So I think the kids find. But yeah, that's literally the end of the movie. The mom goes to shoot Mark, but accidentally shoots the four year old instead.

They all look and they realize the four year old is dead and the movie ends. Well, and that really does match up. And it's, you know, shoot random kid, I think is how Adipis ends, too. Oh, right. It's a random kid. And that's how it ends. When mom goes to stab Adiris with the brooch and she misses and hits her friends, it takes a kid.

Adipis is a new girlfriend's toddler right on that soft part of the top of his head. Some, some Randall kid gets killed in that scene too. So I got to point this out too because everyone's standing around for just a brief second before the thing ends when they realize that the kid is killed. And most of them are at least aware that that's what's supposed to have happened. But I think that the actor that played Valerie was just told that like, you know, something like they just caught him with his with his dick hanging out. And it was a very embarrassing moment or something. Her face didn't match with everybody else's.

Doesn't look the same. You're absolutely right. Valorys like, well, this is inconvenient. All right. It was a disturbing S movie. I want to end with a disturbing question. So closing things off the night, I want you to imagine that you're driving down the road and you come across an accident along the highway that's even harder to look at than this movie. What just crashed into what? Uh, Cthulhu and his own black mirror. I'm going to say Dave Matthews band just crashed into me.

Oh, that's on there. That's what I'm doing. All right. Well, he's like, I can't thank you enough for suffering through that with us. That's sort of a standard line that I throw out, but I've never meant it more. I promise if we ever asked you to review another movie, it'll be less fucked up. That's not there. Will there be an equal number of rapes per

Jambon again. Like it's just yeah, kind of a mathematical certainty at this point that it will have your Rage at least, but yeah, okay. All right, challenge accepted Noah. Thank you. We're doing beast the donation next time you come on. All right. Well, while that's gonna do it for our review of deadly attraction. That's not gonna do it for the episode yet, because we still need to put some distance between ourselves and that fucking movie. So Eli, tell us what's on deck? A merrigate and live from Virginia Beach.

Oh, hell yeah, already amazing. Super excited about our first info wars film. So with that to look forward look for a tour, we're gonna bring episode 205 to a merciful clothes. Once again, a huge thanks to Cecil for hanging out with us today. And perhaps even huge or thanks to all the Patreon donors that help make the show go. If you'd like to get yourself among their ranks, you can make a perhaps a donation of patreon.com slash God off on there by earning an access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help it on by leaving a five star review on iTunes and sharing the show on all your

various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the skating a the citation aided in the skeptic right available on iTunes, Stitcher and wherever all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows and skating ideas, citation eight and the Skape Crack Available on iTunes Stitcher and wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email gotoffem movies gmail.com. Legal Services for the spot cast are provided by the offices of P.A. Druttora's Tim Robertson takes care of our social media. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slot,

Nicol V. V. Vill Traffs on Mars. All of their music was written and performed by our audio engineer, Morgan Clark, and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen, right, Neely Bosnick. I'm No Illusions from his door card or another chunk next week. Until then, we Clark, and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week. For Heathen, right, Neely Bosnick, I'm no illusions from his door harder and another chunk next week until then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Timster eventually did get to drink an axe. God, this movie.

Can we just do this movie every week? Over and over again. I want to do it with Heath now. I want to like not tell him about this and make him do it with us too. Absolutely. Christ worst. Oh Morgan, you have no idea what right now you pause this. You go watch this movie. It's on to be tv.com. Yeah, you go for all your movies. Where were you go for all the best of good stuff. Good stuff. You know, they have an app on on PlayStation four. Yeah. I was able to watch it on PlayStation four. Apparently, this is Africa's Netflix. Is it?

Oh, is it? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Hey, did you guys get like the same commercial over and over again through the whole thing? No, I got different ones. Okay. So I had the, the, the, there was one commercial for like Pandora's Lion King collection. And it played every every time even if that meant playing twice in a row in something This was like everything about this experience was amazing like this movie was so bad that the Netflix on it was on was cheap Right like it was on cheap YouTube. Yeah YouTube turned this down Yeah, exactly. It's her and there are no stuff at this movie. Oh, Jesus Christ.

It's, I had an orange juice commercial at every single commercial break. It was different commercials, but I always had the same orange commercial. And because the commercial breaks literally always follow a rape in this film, it was always, I had to fuck a man. I had to fuck a real good morning. Every time I wake up in the morning after a wave and it's a big glass of orange juice to revitalize yourself from your. All right, you let me to be a storyteller, but now imagine that exact thing, right?

It's always out of a rape or something. And the beginning of the ad is the opening of the lion King right all The cells and shitter looking over going I got like a marketing ad or something Jesus All right, so yeah Morgan. It's gonna be bad today. It's gonna be good stuff today Morgan. All right, here we go. You don't pay that guy enough.

Don't tell him that I can't. For Morgan, Jesus, man. Morgan, disclude that. You get that anymore. That will put Morgan to it. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on a Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2019. All rights reserved. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on a thunderstorm LLC copyright 2019 all rights reserved.