God Awful Movies - 210: Overcomer

Episode Date: August 27, 2019

This week, the guys team up for an atheist review of Overcomer; the latest Kendrick brothers offering that leaves us longing for the competent acting of Kirk Cameron. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Oh yeah, no question running across country is difficult. I'm saying that coaching it compared to like coaching football. Oh yeah, right. Right. That's like not a subset of a sport, but an entire sport is at least a little bit more complex. Oh yeah, at least a little bit. Yeah. And if you disagree with us, he challenges you to a foot race.

That's right. He's on the right. Challenges you to a sport. We'll call that a coach in a real sport. Yeah, there you go. Who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be 700 miles to my immediate leftism, a good friend, Heath and right, Heath, welcome back. Thanks Noah. So you know who doesn't have enough movies made about him? Who's that? Coach Dave Dobin-Mine.

The football coach turned evangelical hate minister, the guy who locked himself in a press box at a football stadium with, I think, about a podcast microphone and a go-t grooming kit, but don't worry. They fixed it. He has. God, he may have been the inspiration for this film. Yeah. I am quite certain. And of course, sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick. Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir? I'm amazing, Noah. I plan to run a marathon later this year. I'm going to run. That's it. That's a good thing. Yeah. You know, you know, everything that you need to know, you're going to walk and hop. You're not going to run. You haven't seen my montage. Neither

lie. No, with all that great coaching that he just gave himself, he should be fine. Yeah. I'm going to do interval training. Walk. All right, so tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched overcomer. It was, it was not the genre of film I was hoping for based on the title. Not the story of a guy with really good fluid volume. And my costume thing was not appreciated by the Kentucky people of the Christian families where I saw it. They didn't like I started setting up a Gallagher thing with the first few road. They didn't get it at all. No, not about come. It's the story

of Coach Dave learning how to work at an integrated school. Very exciting. Yeah, I know we did come what may and then the over come. I thought thought we had a comtacular going but no, but barely not All right, so Eli how bad was this movie? Well if you love making sports movies, but you don't want the sports part to hold you back You will love this movie. It's track is just running, right? of this movie. It's track is just running, right? Yep. The movie.

Yeah, exactly. And this of course comes to us from the Kendrick Brothers. This is their third movie that we've reviewed. A fireproof was one of the pre-gammer reviews on scathing. And of course, they did War Room, which is one of the first movies that we reviewed on this show. But in this film, Alex Kendrick decided that rather than go with the star power of a Kurt Cameron or whatever

his name was that starred in War Room whose latest IMDb credit is literally as an extra in a TV series called Wonder Pets exclamation mark. The guy with the guy who did the back clip. The flip guy. Yeah. Flip guy. All right. But Alex Kendrick decided instead of that kind of star power, he was going to play the lead

role himself. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, want to see all of growing pains with Alex Kendrick at this age. Yeah, exactly. By that

box set. Right. And of course, this is out in theaters now. This was a field trip for us. We all went on opening night. Any, any tales from the theater to share? So my theater was empty, except for me, my, my soon to be father-in-law, my mom's fiance, who came because he thought it would be fun to see a bad movie, he was wrong. Yeah, if we wasn't. And three, a women of color, who were very excited by all elements of the movie. Really?

Here's what I will say. My viewing experience of this film was very different for everyone else. You were not excited throughout because it was punctuated by a full volume, constant running commentary on anything and everything that happened on the screen, along with complimentary or detractory noises, as well as invocations from the Bible as advice for the characters. I'm crazy. I should point out also the one on the far right, the largest of the group constantly tried

to give the movie a high five. I'm unsure what this is, but she reached her arm forward towards the movie at all moments that she found inspiring as though it was leaving her hanging. And it was really hard for me to not lean forward a couple of rows and just be like, I got you, I got you, Bip. That's a TV box. It's just a big one. I don't get it. You always get that. I'm in Georgia. I never get that. I never get people. So, okay, so here's the thing. This is the first time I've ever been to a theater where the movie was surprised to see me there, right? Like I'm sitting in the back. So I guess the projection is probably saw that one ticket

was sold for this movie. So he had to plan, but he didn't see anybody. So he like comes into the theater. He looks and he sees me and then he runs off. And then like mid M&M's commercial, the movie starts. No previews, no fucking Melissa Menudo, no, or whatever, name is none of that shit. It was just suddenly there was a fucking movie. All right. So is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best of being the worst at? Yeah. I'm going to go with best and worst sports.. Yeah, I had a feeling.

This was amazing, the contrast. So they play some basketball in this movie and it's actually real basketball players playing the real, real sport of basketball multiple times. They make a shot in this movie without an edit. Yeah, they did. Yeah, exactly. They literally make a shot without an edit, but it's also a sports movie, like we already told you, it's running.

There's action scenes based on running and not like fast running. No, it's jogging. That's a jogging movie. So if you were thinking this was like the fast paced world of sprinting movies, it's not. No, it's that slow. It relaxed. Yeah, no, like in the brand fucking finale, they're going like, okay, give it about 70%.

That's an actual line in the finale of this film is given 70%. Side note, I found my sport. Well, I think my sport. Why? Climax. You're out in 11. We need you at a seven. All right. So I was going to go with best worst Lucinda. Excuse this was amazing.

Okay. So I had to do all day Friday. So I had to go see this on like the late show Friday night. And I made up a comment right before I was leaving about, yeah, I got to go to a movie by myself on a Friday night. That's depressing. And Lucinda just instinctively goes, yeah, I got to go to a movie by myself on a Friday night. That's depressing. And Lucinda just instinctively goes, yeah, I'd love to go with you, but. And then there's nothing she realizes. She has literally, she's going to be playing Stardew Valley and petting the kittens for the

rest of the night. She has nothing that she can even pretend that she's doing. So she just starts talking quieter and quieter. I love to go with you, but there's a lot of the same thing. Bring me some popcorn back. Lou Lou. Doing loose end of stuff. Loosen to stuff is my favorite stuff.

I was gonna give this best, worst thing to walk in on your parents doing. And yes, I am counting fucking. So a continual plot line through this movie is two children walking in on their parents weeping openly while praying on all four ha ha ha ha ha ha ha of action peck jogging to get to on the other side of this break. So we'll keep it brief. And when we come back, we'll dive into all the vignettes to think they're a linear plot that are overcomer.

Lulu, Lulu doing heat stuff. Heat stuff is my favorite stuff. Excuse me, he's on right. Yeah. For you. And what do you people doing in my house? We're the lawyers representing your teeth. My teeth?

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From the makers of Overcomer. Hop! We just got to win the big game! Yep. Gonna get the fastest... ...most... ...touch. Thou's? Touchdowns!

Sure! Yeah! Touchdowns! Comes another sports movie that proves you don't need to know sports if you know the Lord. Alright boys, it's the final thing and we need to push and never... don't forget to push them... never stop pushing. Pushing! Thanks coach! This summer, come inside me. Really? That's the title? What?

No, it's fine. It's fine. We're going to religious school. It's fine, though. It's fine. It's fine. Yeah. And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to open up the movie in the last minute of a big basketball game. We zoom in into the gymnasium, into the high school gymnasium, and we zoom in on coach Alex Kendrick's, who's acting fucks this movie up in the first 10 seconds. He goes, he's like giving his coach words. He's like, hey, guys, remember that the most basic possible aspects of how basketball is playing good job. Go, right?

Although I got to give them credit, they're playing basketball for like nobody hurt themselves playing basketball. The bar is so low now. It's a really low bar, but they really, but they nailed the bar playing basketball. They did, okay, they got, you don't do a full court press at the end of a game if you're winning. And that's what's happened here. But other than that, like they, it's basketball. They passed the ball. They don't hit each other in the face.

It felt like the Kendrick brothers have listened to our podcast and we're like, fuck you, you ate these homos. We know sports. I know. I'm gonna shout all the sports words I know right here at the beginning of the movie and then them, them, them's long haired quers are gonna be like, oh, they got the sports words I know right here at the beginning of the movie and them, them, them's, them's long haired quers are going to be like, oh, they got the sports right. Well, they got one of the sports right.

That's, that's better than their normal average. Yeah, exactly. I mean, last time they managed to fuck up competitive jump rope. So this is a huge step forward for these guys. Rushing. Yeah. Can we just focus one more time on the title of this movie? Thank you.

Okay. I just, yeah. Can we dedicate 20, 30 minutes to the fact that they shot this movie, they wrote this movie, they edited this movie. They sent it to a company who published it and distributed it and no one went. The movie title sounds like someone who comes too much. And any time, but it's also it's not even a phrase, you know, one isn't an overcomer, one overcomes, you know, so it's not they just put an R on a different like that doesn't even count as a word.

like that doesn't even count as a word. We watched one who overcome. We watched main character who overcomes a conflict. And with the help of some characters in a story arc, or a camera. That was that was the working title. Yes. What's the word for someone who overcomes an opponent? You mean winner?

That's it. But that I don't want to call our movie winner over winner over. Wincomer. Come talker. Spray your victory all over my face and chest. In the movie. Winning my throat. I'm going to spin.

So I'm going to spit your wins into this see through cup and then share it with my supposed step daughter. All right, moving. Winner swallow. All right. So now, but the thing is though is that we open the movie by under coming, right? Because like, that's the very beginning of the movie is like coach Kendrick's team misses the, the three pointer at the buzzer of seasons over, right? It happens to a lot of guys under comments. I think it's actually positive for him's.com. I just think about it.

Yeah, and this is the first, or at least a movie first for me, where we got to see the coach post losing pep talk. All right. Yeah. We lose, but we'll get them next year. Maybe not in this movie life, not in, but maybe a different life that I will start it. It'll be a sequel.

So sequel. We could get him. Here's what's weird about this moment. There is nothing about the plot of this movie that requires them to have lost to this game. Nope, they could have won this game and the rest of the movie would have gone on as normal. In fact, the stakes might have been slightly higher that they were later established in this movie. For some reason, the Kendrick Brothers couldn't fathom a universe, even a fictional one,

where their whole damn team won the big one. There could have been a mass shooting at this basketball game and the rest of the movie is the same. Yeah, right. No, yeah, I'll go one further on this. There was no reason for them to lose this game or play the game or for there to be basketball involved in this movie at all or for him to have been a basketball coach. Right.

None of that ever factors into the story. 100% Alex Kendrick can do one thing mediocrely well on camera and his play basketball. And he was like, we're putting that watch other people do it. Yeah. All right. So he gives his loser pep talk. And then the next day, this fucked me all up. Okay. So we meet him and his wife and they're in a teacher's lounge, but it looks like a kitchen. So what I get is that they're sitting around in their kitchen, having their morning coffee and one of his coworkers is like, man, you got to see this. And then they walk out and they're in a school.

It freaks me right to fuck out. Oh, okay. See, I, I was very confused by this. I thought they were for sure at home. And then I was like, Oh, shit, that's, they're like, they're sitting at like the chemistry bar drowning their soul. Is drowning the sorrows in this titration of sulfuric acid. It's very bitter. Very bitter. Yeah, so but we have him. He's watching the video of the game the night before I'm pitching about the coaching.

And I'm like, oh, well, there's another aspect of the sports that they got correct. That is how you handle losing a game. That other team must be really good at praying. I don't know. We've got to step it up. I got to get the guys together. Was any Muslim last night just even for a second? Because I got to try to do the last, be honest. Anybody lust after any women during the game? There's our problem right there. Anyway, so the football coach comes to get him. He's got some bad news. It turns out that the big steel mill in town is closing town.

The steel, but they would have gone with American flag manufacturer if those weren't all made in Vietnam, I guess, but the big steel mill is closing. Yeah. Fucking James Spader is shutting down the mill, just a mill, the plant to make room for atheist doubt factory or something. I don't know. It's so dumb. And the point is though, that this coach is like, all right, well, this is going to fuck up the high school sports

here in our community. Yeah, that is. The goddamn it. The whole stakes of the beginning three quarters of this movie will be coach misses the point. Yeah. We have some kid crying in the background. Mom's not gonna be able to retire.

Yeah, fuck mom. What are you supposed to start for me next month? Yeah. The whole goddamn movie, we've got this in the background town. The town is being uprooted, families are being torn apart. People are losing their jobs. The businesses are shutting down. The municipal services are being starved of resources. And the entire movie focuses it on, yeah, but we're not even, even if we played Ironman, we wouldn't have enough football.

And even better because it's a Christian movie and they got to do that jingoistic America is the best thing. They can't be like, oh, too bad we didn't have a labor union, never mind. So the plan is, we're going to have more tariffs. They're trying to put a positive spin on the plan closing down because they say not once but twice the plan is offered everyone new jobs at the other right plan. They normally do when they shut down plans, they give a brand new job to everyone. I wanted so bad.

I want that to transfer to other movies so badly. Just like, oh man, they're scutting down the ski center and then just someone waddles into frame. Don't worry. You'll be allowed to use the community center down at the J. It's the YMCA. You'll be plenty of activities for all and the ski center will be turned into business for everyone. I want to see the movie about this town in China where they got this amazing high school basketball team. Yeah, right.

Yeah. All right. So then we flash cut to five months later. The tower is boarded out. There's five is humble We it's going. Oh, Chernobyl is like dropping a bottle of water. And you guys convert that into a burning barrel factory from a steel. Yeah, we did.

We figured out a lot of those. All right, man. So now it's time for us to meet Hannah. She is the first African American character in the film. I wonder what stereotype they will reinforce with her first action in this movie. Oh, oh, oh, is it pointless stealing? Yep.

I'm sitting there with my pen over my nose. I'm like, oh my god, they're gonna make the black girl a thief, aren't they? They're gonna, they're real, no, oh my god, they're gonna make the black girl a thief, aren't they? They're gonna they're really though. No, no, yes They are they do. Okay. Well, let's add something positive. She runs fast also because of her race It's just supposed to not because of race at all. I guess I am just still so hard like you say that this movie was written in direct my white people feel so hard. Like you say that. This movie was written in direction by white people. View on the blind side, man, you uncomfortable. By the way, at this point, the ladies in front of me had a conversation so engrossing that you will literally have to tell me what

happened, because as loudly as humanly possible, the one on the right said, that's like your niece Denise. And then the other one said, shut the fuck up. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's so dodgy. What the fuck? God. So, all right.

So little Hannah steals some headphones and then goes, they notice that she stole them. She runs away and it's all the kids that were there give chicks, right? And she runs away like into the forest and like she's a forest nimble. She's like disappears like a deer into the foliage and they run after and they just can't see she's she's got she's disappeared. Yeah, luckily these kids all grew up to be metal deer salad guards.

Yeah, right, right, exactly. Exactly. They'll stop at the last place. They saw her. They're like, well, we have no way of knowing what would have happened next. Well, it was amazing. Okay. So they're, she's asthmatic, right? So we've got her hiding behind a rock. Well, these kids are chasing her. And they try to do like the Christian movie version of the ring, race at the river scene, but she's panting super fucking loud. So the kids have to pretend they can't hear it. Where could she be? Yeah, let's not disturb that snoring beaver. He sounds mean. That's the ghost in the well. All right. Steve, stop doing your impression of an asthma girl. No, I'm doing practicing.

Working method. It's for my SNL. Like, it's for my monologue class, spoiler alert. But yeah, this, the asthma, it's quite the hurdle to overcome. Yes, that is. This is, fuck, the hurdle of which she will be an overcome. Title trap. All right, so she goes home and just in case you didn't get the whole, she's a thief

thing from her stealing the headphones in the last scene. She gets home to Granny and her grandmother's like, hey, I found this iPod in your jeans that you have stolen. You're a thief. Yeah. And I guess, Granny orders her to give it back to the decade she stole it from my guess.

All right, getting your time machine and return that zoom. Right now, was this a kid's that you made a mixtape for someone? All right. Excellent. It's he's 30s. All right, that's for me. Even older times I got it recently made a mix tape. So granny tells her off for stealing

the iPod. She says, you gotta give this back. She's like, I gotta go to work. I'm late, but your dinner is on the stove. Now, we will later see her eating a grilled cheese sandwich. Why would that be on the stove? Was the, I didn't catch the grilled cheese on the stove part. I just saw the next cut was like, all right, Hannah's upstairs checking out her box of thievery that she has. It's like surprisingly like ornate. It's like velvet line.

It's like a shrunk. It's got like hair dolls and stuff. It's very respectful thievery box, she takes it seriously. But then she just takes what appeared to me to be a loose half of a grilled cheese from her pocket. And I was just like, what, respect? You had later cheese. She ate half of one and we're like, I would give him a want this later. Okay. Wow.

She's also looking at a magazine ad here. Yes, she's looking at her picture of what having a dad would be like. So again, keep in mind this movie written and directed in starring white men has a African American young girl who steals, has an absentee parent figure and knows what it's like to have a parent from magazines. She might as well have pulled out a banjo with Kendrick's. I'm nailing this, right? The boardroom made $23 million.

Jesus Christ. Yeah, this one made its budget back already. We're recording on Saturday. It's already made a back its budget. All right. I want to be on the other side. We make that movie. I want to be on the other side. Two votes. Yeah. There we go. All right. All right. And then we cut to him meeting coach meeting with the principal about all the people who are leaving. And oh, no, they've they're so short staff that now he's gonna have to be the track coach. Okay, no one in this movie will ever acknowledge that the reason he can't be the track coach is because that's a real sport that you have to know something about.

No, because the principal just be like, good man, basketball running, football running. Maybe you can speech him up. I heard you little loser speech to it. Speaker up. Come on. You can do it. One for the gipper. Tell him to run faster than the other team done with coaching cross. There you go. It did be, but he doesn't know enough about putting legs in front of one another. How could he do that? It'll be so difficult. He would have to overcome so much. Also before you send us 8 million angry emails and tweets, we know that coaching and track can feel it is hard and we get it. No, we don't. No, I'm sure it's hard.

I couldn't run for three fucking miles, but you also can't make a goddamn movie about it because it's not interesting. There's all kind of things that are fun or important or difficult that you can't make movies about because they're boring to look at. Oh, yeah. No question running across country is difficult. I'm saying that coaching it compared to like coaching football. Yeah, right. Right. That's like not a subset of a sport, but an entire sport is at least a little bit more complex. Oh, yeah, at least a little bit. Yeah. And if you disagree with us, he challenges you to a foot race.

That's right. He challenges you to a sport. I'm approaching a real sport. Yeah, there you go. All right. You're a ping pong. So yeah. All right.

So he goes to be the track coach and the only person there for track triants is Hannah the klepto. Yeah. And he's like, you're the only one and then she pulls her and haller out and he's like, cool. So running, huh?

With the asthma, you thought of running? And she says, yeah, but otherwise the title wouldn't make any sense at all. Really, if I didn't have that as one. It'll never factor into the story, but it gives us a title. You're gonna need to sign this death waver that's not a fucking call.

Yeah, and then we get a quick scene back with the principal where he's like, can we have one person on the team and she's like, all lives, I mean, runners matter. Yes. Yeah. The principal's like, come on, just be the, let her try out. And he's like, uh, against me. Yeah. Right. Right.

He's the triad. That's not a team. Like what I just chased around a girl with asthma in the room. Well, do you hear it? Do you hear it now? Do you see how that's a problem? They pulled the hunt from theaters. That's not it's just bad. It didn't even start yet. They pulled, they pre-pulled it from theaters. So. All right. So after that very depressing moment where he realized his gaze is going to have to coast just one asthmatic player, dammit. He heads home where his sons are playing basketball, defains serving a function in this film. They're good at it though.

They're real. No, yeah, they're playing correctly. They're playing real basketball again. It's so. I was so confused by this movie. And in case we haven't pointed it out, everyone in this movie is a Kendrick. The star is a Kendrick, the wife is a Kendrick, the sons are Ken. This is a Kendrick centric film.

Yeah. They got every Kendrick except Anna, which would have made the movie better and just get their entire stupid fucking family. And by the way, to be super clear, she is absolutely no relation to these people whatsoever. That would be so amazing though. She's tweeting about it right now. She's not all weekend. Just so everybody knows that weekend of a Kendrick movie, not me, not me unrelated. I was I spit into a tube. I checked it. I made him do it zero percent. There was a hand I can't drink in it. They put the

age really, really low, really small, like super script kind of a thing. Yeah. So he comes home, he's bitching to his wife about track. And then he gets a visitor. Okay. I wasn't a big sports guy in high school, but this seems really fucking weird to me. It's one of his players' dads who has decided to come by the coach's home and personally tell the coach that they're moving away rather than like just letting the school know and then it filtering down as it normally would to his other teachers. Oh, see, I loved I wanted it to go even further like a breakup scene. They're at a nice Italian restaurant. Oh, I gotta tell you I'm really glad because I don't know.

I felt like the energy's been weird between us lately. Oh, my God. You took me somewhere public to break up with me, didn't you? Oh God. Oh God, I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. They're gonna make you pay for the bread. I will get something to go though. I think it's me. Yeah. And but again, this is like this dad is telling coach like, hey, so me and also the entire apparently black community of our town got laid off from the mill. The important takeaway is that my two amazing basketball playing sons are moving so they won't be on your team next year. And the coach is again pissed like

this is correct. That is a correct summation of what happened according to coach. Yeah, I lost my job and have to move my family, but there's bad news. Yeah. That's good. I gotta use a sophomore point guard next year. What the fuck? If they do reparations, they really need to compensate all the victims. Oh, I would count. That would count. Right. So now we've got to track practice where he's going to teach her to run by saying, all right, run, try to do it in less time than the winner, try to do it in less time than the winner dead. Then the time I named it.

Bob, literally, let's go for four. Just four runs, units for runs, got it. Run, run, run, run, now that. Yeah. So yeah, and I guess his dorky, he's got two sons, right? The older son and the dorky son, both of them will show up once in a while to go, I'm into movie and then they'll disappear halfway through. But the dorky son wants to run this three miles to so that I guess so that this movie can

do the whole thing that Eli just did where he's like a track and field runners. We respect you in your sport too, you know, so that they can have everybody else being like, wow, this is a very difficult physical activity that totally counts as a real sport. I'll tell you one thing, that's a real sport and I would never say it's not a real sport right now. And again, just to hit home, how silly this is, the clinch stakes that are set up at the beginning of the scene that will play out in the rest of the film is 20 minutes. 20 minutes is the time she's trying to be. Here's the thing, if you work hard and you push yourself to your limits, you'll beat

an episode of Everybody Lutz Raymond. Come on honey, you can do that. Yeah, right, the state champ ran 5K in under 20 minutes. That's the stakes of the movie now. Yep. And ran 5K in under 20 minutes. That's the, that's the stakes to the movie now. Yup. Yup. And I want to say this right now. I believe that I could run 5K, not even a cluster, not even close. I don't think that was good. He didn't have to name a time. You didn't have to name a time. I think you could keep running for 5K at end runs. You'll find your wrong technically down as running.

I don't think I could either to be clear, but I know that you couldn't either. Patreon.com or it's got awful. I will run a five K under 20 minutes. What's our goal? I'll race you on a five K. We can film the whole thing. $1 billion. Yeah, there you go.

Crazy billionaire money. All right. Yeah, but so she runs in 23 minutes and 15 seconds. That's her time. We might die. It's like, it's possible that both of us could die. Or death. And this is solo show. No, welcome back to the game, Cass, where I watch movies by myself because those bastards

wouldn't stop after they started to race. All right. So, but, but Hannah wraps up her run in 23 minutes, 15 seconds. Uh, that's, and we're going to try to shave three minutes off of that between now and the end of the movie. Of course, the coach guy, the Alex Kendrick ran along with her so that he can come off an end puffing in several minutes later. And he's not very good at running at all. And it's humorous, apparently.

Like literally I wanted a ha ha icon on the screen when humor was supposed to be happening. So I get why we were watching him be miserable. I had a live action, ha ha on the screen in the form of my entire stupid fucking Kentucky theater going nuts when this happened. There's like dead. How does he? He's not a cheap vomit. He's, uh, vomit's funny.

Don't be there. He does get way too real here. And he arrives because like the whole thing is like, oh, he's too tuckered out to run so he runs over and his wife's like, wow, it took you and he's like, shut the fuck up. Oh my god shut up. I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna throw up. It's dry. It's just all dry. I need you to pour gatorade on me and no matter how much I vomit out, I want you to just keep pouring. Don't keep making that noise. Give me applesauce. If it was just 90 minutes, the rest of the movie him dry heaving from that 20 second shot

of jogging better than the rest of this movie. Yes. Yep. All right. But now after practice, Coach and his wife offer Hannah ride home, but she's still brimming with unexplored backstories so she'll walk. I guess. Well, this is basically how the conversation goes. Hey, do you want to ride home? I mean, we can drop you. I'm an orphan. Yeah, I can't. I can't.

I can't just go. Thank you. What? I said, do you want to ride? I said, I'm an orphan. I said, I'm an orphan. Obviously not. Okay.

So yes. And then mom turns to him and she's like, her parents are dead and he's like, I know I was here. That is she very clearly. Yeah. Also, as anyone's seen my watch, it's been stolen. You see. And they both have that amazing right, white, racist, white person moment where they're like, hey, someone stole my watch. Who was the last? You know what? I probably lost it. Yeah, you probably lost it. So clumsy. Oh, walks to the parking lot. It's just hub caps. Okay. Is my car in your mouth? No. And Anna's walking away with a jack. Oh, she's got a little cross. She really means that, look how much she loves Jesus.

Oh, walk. So she speeds away in Eleanor from God in 60 seconds. And then we have to close the scene out with the wife going, oh, I totally forgot. I told the pastor, you do hospital visitations with them tonight. And coach goes, why? And she says, because we needed an excuse for you to be in a hospital in the next scene and we're kind of phoning this one in. It's just no war room. You're doing your visitations at the hospital that you do. Yeah. This will not be the laziest way to introduce an idea or

a concept into the movie. Just be grateful you're not at hospital class. Get out of here. If God wants to kill people with cancer, I'm not gonna interfere with that though. I feel like that would be the wrong. Just go to the next scene, you're being as dick. It's gonna be mad at me. So, all right, so we go to the hospital and like he's told basically, he's like,

oh, the person you came to see as their room is full, go see the next sick guy down, right? We have this incredibly awkward and stilted meeting between him and minority best friend character in the hospital. Also, just want to throw this out there. The pastor is played by Janet or Jesus from the encounter and the encounter too and Abbey's choice. So that was nice little call back for people who've dedicated several hundred hours

of their lives. The pastor, the pastor, yeah. Member crying janitor guy who turns out to be Jesus in the encounter and the encounter to and in Abbey's choice. Yep. That's this guy. Okay. Got it. Yeah. You're the ones who are supposed to get me. Oh, coming choice. Yep. That's this guy. Okay. That's the guy.

Got it. Yeah. You're the ones who are supposed to get me. You're the ones who are supposed to get me. All coming together. Wow. But yeah, so he stumbles into a room by accident and meets this guy, this blind man who he doesn't know.

And the blind guy is just like, hello stranger. Visit me now. Sorry, he's, I hate to correct you, but he says, hello, bring her. And I wanted, I wanted this guy to be Alex Kendrick's character to be like, okay, I mean, I got what, what religion are you? I'm visiting. Oh, you Christian. Oh, all right. All right.

Well, and I can just do with us. I don't mean that. I mean, they're Christians. Christian. I mean, I mean, they're Christians Christian. I mean us people Christian. I'm white. I want you to know. You're blind. I want to be super queer. I'm a white guy. He starts doing a black voice. So he isn't mad at him. No, man. Can't visit you today, bro. God. you do today, bro. It's really blind, right? I'm also the same racist throws a pendant in space. All right, just chicken. Bro, you know, some of us are high voice to have a list.

You shouldn't really just stereotype. As you can see, some of us have different tones of voices and it doesn't matter. We can be different races. But yeah, the Alex Kendrick, the coach is just like, okay, I'll visit you now. Why are you dying? Yeah, that's the first. He's opening gambit. He's like, please, visit me. I'm on on my own. He's like, cool, yes. So your lost cause. Wow. So your lost cause wow Luckily he's totally into it. He's like, yeah, if I'm going to die in the thicket now ready three two

Hidden and away the charger says two acts remaining. That's weird And also it turns out he used to be a track champion What are the odds unless this is a badly written film. They hoarded in. Well, we will get to how badly written and quite a bit. He's not just a former track champion. He's, he's, we'll get to it. Yeah. Very knowledgeable about the plot of your life.

I will tell you one of them right now. I'm saving some also. I just want to point out this weird moment at the end of this scene. He's like, okay, the pastor comes in. He's like, hey, we got to go visit the important guy. And he's like, all right, I got to go. And the blind guy, he goes, oh, please visit me again.

I'm stupid only. And he's like, yep, nice to meet you, bye. Well, he says, I'll be to meet you. Bye. Well, he says I'll be praying for you. Right. Yeah. And, and of course, the guys like, yeah, and yet I will still die from my diabetes in act three. Great job.

What's praying, man? That's going to really help me to really put in 100%. I still love the one question that coach asked the guy at this point because he finds out he's like, oh, you were a third in the state at Cross Country. You are knowledgeable about the plot of my life. So question, I'm coaching Cross Country. How do you train for the end of the race? And the guy's like, by running?

You run. You run. You run, you run. The same is all the parts of the race. It's all the thing. Running. Just practice. Just run. Just run. All right, so now we have another swing in a miss at humor with the of the race. Yeah, it's all the thing running. It's a practice. Yeah, just going to run. All right, so now we have another swing in a miss at humor with the drama class scene.

Okay, this is so important to me spiritually, physically, emotionally. Here's what you, the podcast listener, need to know. The Kendrick brothers wrote a monologue for Hannah to do about how safe they are. They couldn't fit it into their stupid fucking movie. So they were like, uh, maybe she says it in school in her monologue class. Monologue class. Yep. Monologue class.

A.P. monologue. So this movie will now establish that he has been roped in to be a judge for monologue class. And let's start this off by pointing out that the drama teacher that that ropes him into this might as well show up with a dick in his mouth in this movie, right? Just a boa humor. Huh? You get it? Cause I'm coded gay.

Well, and that's it. You can really learn a lot about a person from their nightmares, right? Because that's how it's like, oh, poor goat, she's got to do gay drama shit. It's just every gay stereotype of like of all four gay people they could think of on this entire writing team. He's like every character from the bird cage. All right, brother, I wrote our gaseine and I got all the will and the grace in there. So we should be all covered. I didn't watch any of the show because I got the tummy tickles

again. But, but all right. So let's point out the sort of like the better problem with this fucking movie because what's going to happen now is that Alex Kendrick in this film is going to sit in judgment of someone else's acting. Right. Like that, that had like how could he not know because like because honestly like all these kids trying to give their bad acting monologues are just the same as how he's delivering all his lines. Yeah, and what's amazing is that obviously was the first three takes.

And Alex Kendrick was like, you guys are all doing too good. So the version of bad acting they came up with is just like totally deadpan or trapped inside a giant balloon. It's not that it's bad acting. It's just crazy because they can't. They're like, well, that's what we do. And then the professionals they hired were like, yep, that's what you do. And there was a 45 minute pause on set and then finally Kendrick Kafton was like, to say it in a low voice. And like it was like, okay, I'll say it in

a low voice. Could be your nod to Be that is the question. Yes, bad. I wanted so bad for one of these kids to do. Did you fuck my wife from ranging balls? I heard things. I heard things. I heard things.

I heard things. Oh, and then we learned too that the coaches getting a 10% pay cut. Boy, everything's just going wrong for him. And again, the movie runs away from that sentence at top speed. I'm getting a 10% pay cut. Well, I feel like a teacher's union. That's not a tackle. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Yeah. The schools are outsourcing teachers to China. Yeah. Yeah. The schools are outsourcing teachers to China. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so then we get the most perfunctory spous fight in the history of God damn film. Here's how I've summarized it in my notes. Are you Mopi? Who you call it Mopi?

I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm done. Me too. It's the best. It just starts out. And this part felt just rang very true to me. He just go, that goes outside Alex Kendrick. He's kind of mopey. He's angry. And just starts

angrily moving bricks in the backyard. And I've seen that. You don't approach that. You don't approach that. You let all the bricks get moved several times back and forth across the yard. It doesn't matter. You just let that figure out on its own. But mom's like, where are you going to put those, honey? What did in a different pile? He's like, I'm not gay. I'm not.

I did not find the drama teacher attractive in a confusing way. You did. And again, mom is very sure this is her Oscar clip, right? Like they sat down and she was like, you know, in those movies, Meryl, there's always that scene where she cries and talks at the same time. And he was like, yep, crying and talking at the same time. You want me to write something? She's like, no, I'm going to vamp.

Great. You just go ahead and vamp. Holy shit. Look, this is, there is a one C. Okay. So they have this fight, right? They the yellow each other mom goes in the younger son sees her crying and then she comes back out and they have a long weepy apology one scene later and this is resolved now. Yep. Yeah. He's just like, mom, are you crying? Do you, do you have cancer? Or something?

He's like, it's high school sports issues. He's like, oh, good. And he puts away his copy of the God delusion. Sorry, I just thought you had cancer. I was in one turn eight. What amazes me so much about this goddamn fight though, is that like I was, I was, I spent the whole thing reflecting on how uninvested like if you would put two randomly moving triangles on the screen, I would be more emotionally invested in them than I was in these two fucking characters and their bullshit I couldn't care if I tried travails.

And then of course we have to see the sun seeing them make up so that, you know, we don't have to feel like he's going to turn into an atheist later, I guess. As wrote in my notes, Hey, you want to see dead cry? Sure. It's exactly how it plays out. What am I watching for? Just the cry. Just watch for the cry. Just let him get it out. He's he's piling the bricks onto it. There you go. Look how close she is. He's making an igloo on yourselves.

Yep. Okay. All right, and then we cut to Hannah's first race. So we have an establishing shot that contains multiple team prayers, guys. Christian movie, Christian movie. Don't worry. We're getting there. We're getting there all the way. Just them being like, look at this prayer. We're doing that should totally be legal in public schools and private schools all the

time for kids to pray. It is. Kids are allowed to pray everywhere. Yep. You're allowed to do just like dear Lord, I don't care what Maju teacher says. My gay, atheist, fucking teacher who say no, bomb, a grant me the string to be a Christian runner in South Georgia. Yeah, right.

Yeah, exactly. This is all shot in South Georgia, by the way. Yeah. Well, and not all that, not a self is my ass, but yeah, yeah, it was. And what's amazing is they very clearly were doing like a runner's warming up montage, but like, it's not that many calf exercises. So like they get about two shots in before there's just a kid in the background, like punching another kid who's doing jumping jacks in the chest, like, yep, getting ready for the old race. Are you doing the YMCA? They're doing the YMCA. We're out of warmups. Just getting

the chest bruised up for the big race coach. What? Meet to and I'm getting Monuckles bruised up. We're just done enough. All right, and rotate. All right. And then there's the gun and the least interesting sport to look at is underway. All right. Heath, I need you to be with me on this. You absolutely take a shortcut, aren't you? That's right. Oh, a thousand percent. I've never been on the cross country team, but I've been forced to run by sports coaches

many times and gym teachers and 1000% I disappeared into the forest like a forest nymph deer and found my way back to the starting line. Very quickly. Yeah. You ran a five K in three minutes. Yep. I am deceptively fast for the size of my love handles coach. Most people are confused by that.

Well, unrelated. Let me tell you. But Hannah doesn't run very good. She comes in 34th in her big race. Yeah. The stakes of this movie is better than 34th. Yep. Yeah. But we do get the the announcer guy for a second here, which was possibly my favorite part of the movie where they start running. And the announcer guys like, there they go running. Ah, there's somebody at the front. She's, that's, I believe she's the state champ from last year. She's fast. It's the only thing I could say to this guy the best athlete in the state

end of commentary. The ones behind her are slower. God. Almost 30 fast though. You know running and you know velocity. End of commentary. Let's go to a commercial. All right. So, but yeah, but coaches super disappointed

she finished way in the back. So it goes back to Thomas in the hospital to learn more about track because he doesn't know about the Googles. How do you practice the middle running? And he's like, dude, what did we say? It's just they'll run. No, but he actually has an answer here, which I think this part is somewhat real. Like this is part of the training of, you know, I'm exaggerating. The coaches do something here. They explain interval training here, but not very well because John, the blind guys just like, let me explain intervals of numbers.

So one, three could be your next interval of minutes or runs, whatever unit. And then you know, it's not interval training at a certain point. It's like 24, one. That's just running for 24 minutes. And then cooling down, I suppose. Please don't stop visiting But they talk about that for like one and a half seconds and then they move on to talking about how Christian He isn't how Christian coach isn't and this is a weird way to get into how Christian are you? Which is the who are you? Okay, but who are you if your family died?

I'm a white American male That's okay, so that's literally how this the scene plays out he goes Thomas says to coach. He's like who are you? Says I'm a basketball coach. He goes no who are you? He says I'm Father and a husband is like yeah, but if he kids and shit died, who are he goes, I'm a white guy. Top of the pyramid DNA American man. Y chromosome. What field that skull shaped motherfucker? What am I supposed to be doing?

I wrote this and I confused myself. And then he finally, like John, the, the blind guy finally gets him to get to the point, which was like, oh, I'm also a Christian. The coach says and he's like, there it is. Yeah, I was trying to get you to there. But the way he says it, he goes, I'm also a Christian. Sorry, you're, you probably believe in like shocker, kiki, though, I don't want to, I don't want to, let me explain Christianity means follower of Christ. And John's like, yeah, thanks, got it. Tom Christ. I was prompting you, obviously. Sorry, Thomas is the character's name. I don't want to, I don't want to confuse people too much. I'm going to call him John. Oh, John is the coach's name, but yeah, I'm

going to call him coach Alex Kendrick. Yeah, that's what I've been calling him. Yeah, he's on names strike for this movie. I get it. I'm going to call him both Steve just to be confusing. I don't care. Nine episodes in and he's you know what? Everybody's fucking Steve today. Okay, we did it. We found he's breaking point. It's names All right, but but the point here though is that he eventually gets around to saying he was a Christian But he didn't say it first. So he's not a very good Christian at all Also, right he did it. He's asked him to pray for him. No, as you pointed out and he did it I wanted him so badly to be like, though, you didn't pray for me. And look at me. Still blind.

And diabetic, you obviously were lying about the homework. I thought you were praying. And the coach was just like, no, yeah, okay. I didn't pray. We just say that to fill awkward space. Yeah, that's conversations with strangers who are like, visit me no, no hospital. And then we have to leave. So we say, I'll pay for you. Although, I want to point out, Thomas has a point because Christianity never goes out of business. No, doesn't matter how many plants they shut down, Christianity is always going strong. And that's how. All right. So now replete with African American blind guy wisdom. Coach goes to see his son on the basketball court. So yeah, him and his son are talking.

And again, the stakes of this movie now are, well, son, it looks like you'll have to take out college loans instead of getting a scholarship. is that? Yeah, right. The kids like, yeah, I'm never going to get a basketball scholarship now. And dad's like, I don't know, earn your way into college. No, just getting your done. Pay for it, like almost everyone. Yeah, yeah, right, right. Again, yeah, exactly.

This movie can't, like the Kendrick's are on such a mountain of goddamn privilege that this is what they imagine are the poor people's stakes, right? Oh, those hard-live in Americans, having to get by on nothing, but their basketball scholarships and their six bedroom homes and the middle of southern Georgia. Right. But then we have a, we have him having a to heart with his his older son and then he's he's dadding with his his younger son. The point though is that once Thomas kicked him right in the Jesus he got to dadding much better, right?

Yeah. I like the the moment with the younger son because the younger son's like, all right, dad. So here's my plan to fix this stupid fucking sportlet that you've cultured right now called Cross Country. This would also fix your movie, actually. Sorry, meta. It's like Cross Country plus tackle football. It'll be pretty awesome. Yeah, I like it.

Hunting humans in the woods. I was in, I was hoping the movie was gonna take a turn here. Yeah, we're gonna end up with murder ball by the end of the world. Yeah, right, right. Hannah wielding a bloody spear with kids head on it. But the dadding shots close with him back at the hospital with Thomas going like, well, that last scene with my younger son, sure, was humorous, huh? With the tackling, right? So what's, uh, what's your path to Jesus? Is your buds will be integral to the third act? Sorry, what?

Oh, yeah, we got the ear buds inserted. Because that's literally what happens. He's like, what's your, but they want to put ear buds into the ears of the runners. This will matter. Are you just, are you foreshadowing our real lives? What's happening? It feels like that's what you're doing.

Just standing there with a cardboard cut out of an earbud in the sun. All right, I get it. That's not what foreshadowing is, but I. It's the time. But yeah, Thomas has his, this is where Thomas reveals his come to Jesus' story. And it's basically, I was a runner.

I had a job which led to drugs and women. Never get a job. Which led to meth. Then the woman I loved died and I abandoned my child, but it's okay now because I apologized inside my head. Yep. I'm guessing my child steals things. I'm just glad you had it.

Oh god, it's so funny. I might fit into this plot better than you. Yeah, who would have guessed that all the African American characters would wind up being related at the end? Literally, every single one of the American characters, the principal is lifelong friends with all of the other African American characters. The Kendrick Brothers wrote a movie where all of the black characters know each other. Yes.

All right. So now John lays the news on his wife tells him, you know, hey, I'm pretty sure that this guy, that this whole movie actually is about this guy being Hannah's dad. I wanted this guy to meet Hannah and for her to be like, no, no, it's not me. No, it's not her. It's different. You're right. No, crazy. We, there's a, there's a blind guy with cancer upstairs. So probably him.

It's not me. And then we have that, we have that freaking like, freaking pointless, useless scene of Hannah, like passing out while she's running, asthmatically, right? I feel like the only purpose that served was that Alex Kendrick wanted a scene where his character rushes heroically onto the screen. Yeah. And one wasn't going to do it because there will be another one. He was like, you know, there should probably be like two or three scenes where I rush heroically.

It's just be like a montage from Rocky and Rocky's just like using an inhaler for four minutes. Yeah. Okay. Then we get the scene where coach tells the principal about blind dying diabetes dad. The principal is like, okay, how do I put this? Yes. This is technically illegal, but you know what? Do it anyways. Yeah, right. Okay. So they're having this conversation about whether or not they should. So Hannah's grandmother has told her that her dad is dead because he's a deadbeat that got his mom addicted to drugs and ran off and grandma just thought that would be easier on the daughter. So now they're going to have a conversation about whether or not to respect grandma's wishes or to tell Hannah to go behind grandma's back and tell

Hannah about her dad. And I mean, to be fair to coach his character here, he's had all of three conversations with this guy. So he knows the whole story. It's only in walking in almost four with his daughter. So yeah, he knows both ends of it. Yes. He really knows what's best for these black people. And the principle is 100% behind this too. Yeah. He's like, as principle of this school in my legal authority to engineer family conflicts. Yeah, I mean, yeah, probably, probably go around the grandma. That's fine. Well, they don't, they don't come to a conclusion here.

What they decide is that really they should probably ask a magical ghost what to do. So they all ask a magic ghost what to do. Right. And it turns out to be the thing that they wanted to do anyway. It's weird how that happens. Yeah. We get some hands and knees praying here, by the way, for my best worst. Yeah. We ought to all force praying. Yeah. So, okay. So then coach goes back to the hospital to break the news about Hannah to Thomas and he brought along his wife in Casey chickened out. Yeah? Why are you brought to life?

So also make fun of the blind guy here. He again, this is a very, very strange choice. He's like, they walk in and he's like, oh, hello, nice to see you. Have you seen any good movies lately? Right. Right. All right. I'm done.

Go ahead and hi, nice to meet you. Hello, John. You can't see. Sorry. What? I led with we have eyes. Sorry. No. You want to eat some sugar cubes? Punch each other in the feet. Oh, diabetes. No. Sorry. That would be bad. You don't want to punch people in the feet. Anyway. We know your daughter. Well, I also love how quick like so many movies do this, so many hack writers do this. They immediately have the handicap character making fun of like making self deprecating jokes about their handicap, which seems okay because it's the handicap's character. But then you have to remember that they were written by a sighted writer and then delivered

by a sighted actor. And so they're just making fun of blind people is all. Let's put some weird twist on it. Also, he forgot to be blind the actor here. Several times. He's ogling the wife. Yeah. A bunch.

Yeah, several times throughout upsetting and stupid. And he's by far the best actor in the movie. Accidentally gives her a high five. I mean, oops, did I hit? All right. Yeah, so they break the news and he goes like, wait, my daughter is your runner. That's like some half-ass movie plot

where they weren't really trying out, she kind of just like, okay, all right, all right, no, it's just. I wanna lose to be so, I wanna be like, wow, that is so, so lazy. She's so lazy. Just so lazy. Like you stumbled into my room and sees your only runner. Like you just, why didn't she stumble into my room and then fall out my window into your

arms where you have a crucifix and it burns itself into a skull and then when did the, there's got to be a lazier way this could be written physically in the universe. But I can't think of it. This is just like Academy Award winner Crash who heard much just like that, but with jogging and jogging crash. Right, but then, but basically he wants to meet his daughter

and they're all gonna talk to a ghost about it again. On their hands and knees, they're all going to talk to a ghost about it. Yeah. So then we cut to race practice. And, and this time, Darnit, older sons shows up to race practice to race with them because otherwise neither of the sons would play any role in the last two thirds of this movie at all. Yeah. It shows up. Hey, I bet I cannot run you to a line. And over five.

All right. I've said my lines. I will never say or do anything specific to me again in the rest of the movie. Nope. Well, they, you know, they wrap that scene up with him also not being a very good runner because he humor and funniness. My theater went nuts once again. Yeah.

All right. So now we're at another race, but Hannah still isn't running very good this time. She finished 11th. And the gun at the beginning is supposed to be exciting. Like that's, that's like the, honestly, that is the most exciting thing in this moment. And they all just start jogging. That's it. And then we get the passing thing. We're like, I mean, you run past people. That's like the biggest moment in a race, I would imagine. And that's like the pinnacle of the

action of this sports sequence, but it's so like weirdly passive aggressive. I would imagine anyway, if I was in that situation, you're just like slowly kind of running right next to somebody, but silently and you're passing them. I feel like there's a lot, like there be a lot of weird rage there. I would be angry. You just want to start gently farting next to the person. Come on. What? No, go ahead, pass me. Trying to beat that sweet, sweet 20 minute time limit that the stakes of this movie depend on. Right. But yeah, so but she finishes 11th. It's her best finish yet. And the older son has brought several friends to cheer for her. And I only bring

it up because there's this amazing, unacknowledged high five attempt in this scene when they all run over to the congratulator on her best race. There's one girl just holds her hand out for a very long time and then sets it back down really like slowly kind of sneak it back in. So, so God damn slow. This girl's performance is the best in the movie. She's like, yeah, oh, you high five me on the last take I guess we're not doing that. That's the shot they kept by the way Which means that she sat there on Friday or Thursday whenever this movie revered and was like this is my scene This is where I get a haul they kept the take where she didn't hit it. Oh I want my pizza back

From my dad All right, so now is time for a pep talk about Jesus. Yeah, in case you were worried that this movie wasn't gonna get poisonous This is where the coach sits her down and is like hey, um Is black guy did this thing to me the other day that was super cool? Who are you? Yeah. Right, right. So yeah, and basically Hannah gives him the like, Hey, why would God kill my parents thing to which he says, because otherwise your character would have no depth at all.

You just be a thief. Really? That just be racist. By the way, quality moment in my theater, my soon to be father-in-law, mom's fiance, sat next to me in stony silence throughout the film. But when she said he killed my parents, he goes, yikes. That was his contribution. But yeah, but he tells her about her dad. And that her dad is still alive, even though her grandma said he wasn't.

And man, can Hannah not do surprise? She's like a post Botox 45 year old woman. She's like, what? What? Let me try that again. What? You're coming out more haunted ghosts than surprised. It was very strange.

What? No, it's not a question. There you go. A question. Better. So, okay. What? So then we get Hannah going home to dig that What no, it's not a question big old question better so okay So then we get Hannah go at home to dig that one picture of her dad that she keeps squirreled away for Big reveal psyched drama. Yeah, obviously. Why was you haven't hidden? Why wouldn't it just be out? And she's getting like

Dressed for this moment where she's gonna meet the debt She's like googling like what are you where to meet estranged meth? Click Anything the fuck you on it says anything in the Vomitri You want this is where grandma comes home and she's trying to be cool And she's like hey, how is running practice? She was like yep good running, you know straight up and down move the legs Don't walk on your hands. So my dad's dead, huh?

All the way dead, right? Not just mostly dead. You saw it. Not just dead to you. You didn't mean in a metaphorical sense. No. No. When he became Darth Vader, the son that you knew as Anakin died,

kind of a thing. No, okay. Are you lying about that? Are you lying? Okay, that's now I'm pretty sure you're lying. Everyone's lying. All right, but ultimately she decides she does want to go meet her her dad so she goes to the hospital to meet with Thomas. We open on a few more blind jokes. Yep. And basically, Hannah's like, hi, I'd like to, I'd like to leave. Small talk. Nerv nervous small talk with Hannah You Google what to say it in a strange meth parent meeting my strange

Cool so I guess you should be ready for this fuck your face. Yeah, right. No, she worries out out there like it just occurred to her. How easy it would be to just pinch one of them to just going into him, right? Oh, I was kind of hoping you'd be different. All right, I should go. I wanted her to take out some meth and just be like, mmm, this is some good ass meth right here. Have you tried this meth flavored ice cream they have? Math is by feel so good on my asthmatic lungs and in my sinuses and my veins.

I'm doing all three ways. Taste so most as good as it looks. Let me tell you dad right now. Do you want some? It's right here. Can you see it? Oh, you're blind, fuck your face. But no, she just runs out of the room.

Yeah, she runs out of the room and then goes home and sadly rips up her if I had a dad poster. I wanted to return and there's like a dozen other ads with black dads with kids. God, there's so much tearing to do. She was hope. And again, by the way, this ad is like a dad giving his young, young, young, like four, five year old daughter, like a ride on his shoulders. And I was like, was she hoping for like a piggyback ride? What disappointed her about that 11 second interaction?

He did, of course, he begged me at all. All right, well, since this movie deprived us of the scene where they all quiet, her about that 11 second interaction. Of course, he begged me at all. All right, well, since this movie deprived us of the scene where they all quietly leave and Thomas has a daddy daughter hard to heart with an empty room, we're going to pause for a quick break and imagine what that would be like. But first, let me give back through the hard cell. Will Hannah's left leg move in front of her right leg fast enough? Will Hannah's right leg move in front of her left leg fast enough? Are there Hannah's right leg move in front of her left leg fast enough. Are there any other questions one could possibly ask about this boring sport?

Find out the answers to those questions and that's it when we return for the ambulatory conclusion of over a comma. But who there? Hey, though I thought some day we'd meet again. Yeah, yeah, sorry. I haven't really had the chance to be in touch since you killed my daughter. So. Cynthia.

No, not my name. You need to see that I've changed. Oh, you've changed. Great. Awesome. So you got a new job now. You work with underprivileged teens. You ready to step up and help me with the financial burden of raising a teenage child.

Okay. That was yours. No, float out. Oh, I don't know. You mean you changed like on the inside probably? Yes. Yes. Exactly.

I've changed in the way that's completely free and doesn't matter and literally can't help anyone in internal. Well, fake. So in fact, it looks like what you're doing now is racking up a super expensive medical bill that you can't pay. Are you paying that or what's the situation with that? Okay, okay, so about those bills.

Right, right, no, no, no, whatever, great. So super glad you're in my grand daughter's life now, crushing it, great. Last thing, then I got to, you know, get out of it to my second job to pay for all these things I'm describing to you right now. You're the father. Just name any one real thing you're doing for your daughter right now. Just one real actual thing. Oh, I was thinking about making her like a short audiobook

to listen to while she runs. Cool, cool, while she runs. Yeah, so you destroyed the trust between my granddaughter and I. You turned her world upside down. You have no money or support to give. So you're gonna offer her a motivational podcast. I'm sorry, with a podcast.

It's like the radio. Say fuck your face. Okay, fuck your face. You understand what I mean when I say that? And we're back when we last left off. Hannah was being sad at home. We're gonna pick the action back up with her being sad at track practice. He's like, hey, you ready to do some running? to pick the action back up with her being sad at track practice. He's like, Hey, you ready to do some running? And she's like, eh, not really.

And he's like, well, that's, that's tracks. So if you're not done for running, we are what the fuck are we going to? That's the whole sport. I'm sorry, Jesus. Some more. Do you want to analyze film on my old, tiny film projector? The person who ran the fastest, they went every time in the films, I can tell you ahead, we could watch that run faster helps.

So yeah, and then the basically the fucking movie takes a mulligan, right? Like they get to this next either like, you know, when she met her dad, we didn't really move the plot forward at all. You want to just, do you think they'll notice if we do the exact same scene again? No, no, it's good. We'll just do it again. Yeah, I literally wrote in my notes, can we go back? I'd like a second take. Yeah, that's basically what it is. She's like, hey, I thought about it, and I thought, you know, it would probably be way less awkward when I first meet my father that abandoned me 15 years ago, if there weren't

a white couple that I barely know hovering over us. So what if maybe just I go and talk to him. I've been thinking about it and I feel like, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way. My track coach doesn't belong at my reunion with my father. I'm gonna give you a lie. Father. So she goes back to talk to him. And Thomas gives his little monologue. He goes like, you know, he gives his whole like, I thought I was a good person, but it turns out I wasn't a Christian speech there.

And I'm just like, but given what we know of you as a character, why the fuck did you think you were a good person man? Like what? What gave you that impression? Really? Your girlfriend OD on meth that you got her hooked on and you were like, I feel like I'm still probably a pretty good guy. Right because Hannah, that's what she asks. She's like, so the weird people that engineered this illegally left, that's good, I guess. What happened? And he's like, oh, this is an easy one, man.

It's really, have you done meth? Cause it's the best. It's really, really good. It's really phenomenal. Like imagine if your nose could come into the back of your skull, that's what it feels like. Anytime you want it, you don't

have to wait or do anything. It's like $6 and then your habit. Hi, I'm Eli Bosnick from God awful movies. Methanphetamines are great. Don't do them. But okay, but here's my favorite aspect of this whole fucking movie, right? He gives us this little speech about how God took away his site and it was only then that he could see how he had mistreated people, et cetera. And I thought to myself in the moment, I'm like, imagine that that was any other character in any movie ever. And somebody was like, well, you know, my teacher slash father slash this other character gouged out my eyes to teach me a lesson. I sure am fortunate to have been taught that lesson. Dave needed to break me to keep me humble. Oh, yes.

Jocosta learned a lesson. Oh, worked. What the fuck? Oh, I wanted her to just be like, oh, you're into Christianity. That's what happened in your life. You had a Christian thing happen. Cool. I was actually reading the Bible. Just gonna spit in your eyes for a second.

Can you see now? Makes a little mud in there, a little mud and spank. Working. Let me just grind it in. Maybe I didn't grind it in enough. Let me get some gravel in there too. Great. Oh, come back tomorrow and try some more.

I'll come back tomorrow. See if you're blind. Fuck your face. And then we head back, she promises to think about considering forgiving him. And that's the wraps. And then she's exiting. The coach is like, huh?

How is that? You feel like running now? No, you did, okay, that is that? You feel like running now? No, you did, okay, that was a serious moment. Yeah, no, no, we don't, okay, all right. We don't, okay. Stupid. Although we head back to the school,

we have a quick, like, oh, that drama teacher, he's so homosexual moment. Yep. And then the principle is gonna talk to Hannah about giving her life over to Christ. Oh, this movie. Again, you could be confused into this just being a bad sportsing movie if it weren't for scenes like this.

Oh, from here on out, right? Like this entire, the rest of this movie is a fucking sermon, right? And look, I know that this is a Christian school they're going to. So this is like kind of like, you know, it's not illegal or whatever. It's a private school. But we've established before that the principal is the one paying for her to go to this school. So I feel like at the very least it's it's unethical, right? Like, yeah, no, I'll pay for you to go to a better school.

But maybe you want to give over your everlasting soul to my savior while you're here. That's a pretty good deal. You're, you're con in the principal at that point. And again, it's a method that go just based on the fact that this principal cares about a young girl meeting her father for the first time and her doubts and fears and her immediate responses. You know who's always loved you. God. Yeah.

Well, and then also there's the heap the guilt on like they always do She says well if you think about the whole Jesus thing he died because you're sin So if you think about it you basically killed him by stealing an iPod God's a great dad He even got his kid Bruce. I didn't think this through. And again, this sermon is hard. She says he doesn't force it on you.

And I was like, yeah, he doesn't force it on you. He just burns you in fire forever. Yeah. If you don't take it, yeah, exactly. But yeah, but Hannah admits that she wants to be a Christian, but she just doesn't know how to pray. So the principal gives her like a, you know, repeat after me, Jesus, I'm shit, but I like to not be shit by becoming a Christian.

Please let me love you and not be shit anymore, right? And then she looks at the girl and goes, that was beautiful. What I just said. Yeah, that's what she said. Yeah, the word I prompted you that was beautiful. What I just said. Yeah, the words I've prompted you with were beautiful. Go me, man, you wanna read one of my poems? I didn't love that so much. And this means that the movie thinks

praying and running really need a coach. And this is like the saddest accident parallel. The like pastors are like cross country coaches, but for invisible courses, the tonics exist. Where everyone loses. Yeah. We are all important. Yeah. Well, and then so now that Hannah's Christian, the principal gives her an assignment. She says, Hey, I would like you to read a very small selection of one book in the last quarter of the word of God. And Hannah's like, any more of that? She's like, no, no, no, just take first a signed reading paragraphs. But they don't even select it well because they she tells her to read Ephesians, right? Like we're both African American women. You should read Ephesians. It's

got great stuff about the master slave relationship that's important to all of us, which is a lot like the husband wife relationship. You'll need to learn that. I'm in charge of a school. I mean, don't go beyond paragraph two. Really sick. Literally, we're going to have a montage in the next scene where we accidentally show past paragraph two and the work we will show you on screen are and all slave shell. Yep. Because we can't crop a film thing tight enough to keep the evil out of the flames. In our fucking moving, running a finger over the word Ephesians zoomed in on the entire series. Yeah. Well, yeah.

And so yes, we literally get a goddamn Ephesians reading montage. So the assignment was to read the first two paragraphs of Ephesians and write down all the things that it says She is now that she's a Christian. So she's writing like I am forgiven I am sealed I am loved etc. And I Sorry, don't want to be serious here, but this breaks my fucking heart because they do this shit all the time. Yes, you can very easily trick a child into thinking you've solved all of their problems in life Right by lying to them and letting them figure out the hard way later that you haven't and that's what we're trick a child into thinking you've solved all of their problems in life, right? By lying to them and letting them figure out the hard way later that you haven't. And that's what we're watching.

Yeah. Set to the song called, it's really hard to write a positive song about Ephesians. Well, five, she keeps writing after the things she wrote. It's going to say, wives, be subject to your husband. And my ladies in front of me were going so hard. They were, they were screaming and pointing at this. They were very much fans. But I just African American women in front of me, they were excited for this scene. Hey, next line literally slaves obey your earthly master with fear and trembling. That's what it says. They show it on screens.

Yes, they did. But here's the dumb thing, right? We've heard about people do the sufficient exercise all the time and sometimes people email Noah and ask him to do this Ephesians exercise. And the best part about this Ephesians exercise is that this is an angry letter from a guy who's like, you're on grateful, mother fuckers. You need to learn a thing. So, like, how efficient I shouldn't have to work when I come to your house. It's, it is the passive aggressive email of the Bible and the Christians have turned it into like a fucking self motivation exercise. I am loved. I love you, but mother fucker, you hear me right now. So who might make concern?

But I will be loved. I fucking will be. Yeah. Yep. Not I am. Yeah. Right. And then this movie gets shockingly unaware again. And we make fun of how awful it is to have to watch bad acting some more. Yep. Oh, this is slam poetry class. Yeah, yeah, exactly. The bad monologue and class. And again, because they can't just do bad acting, because it would be indistinguishable from the other acting, the way that they present this kid as having a bad monologue is that

he makes everything rhyme poorly. Also, his name is Truckston. I just want to throw that in really Yeah, there's a character in this movie called truckston. It's just just like share Super duper names Hey truckston, it's your turn Hannah and John and Thomas those are the only ones we know name one more name Justin Let me finish

Stin Justin, oh, that's not a name now that you added a sting Shire Shuckston Shire. Shucks to Nisha. So they're watching the bad actors act badly. And during a break in monologue class, Hannah comes in to see her coach and gives what they thought was going to be the good monologue because they saw a bless her little heart. She's, she's trying and everything, but this, but this girl is not a very good actor. So good. She walks in and she's like, ask me who I am.

And they're all like, what? Knock, knock. Just fucking do it. I'm setting up a speech. I'm setting up on my monologue thing because it's trust me. Right. But again, this speech is just, I just want everyone in this room to know that if I were talking about anyone but God I would have a severe and

treatable mental illness But I said God So I still do it's culturally acceptable Actually makes it really hard to treat also drama teachers and abomination Also brought this rock for the drama. A couple rocks. Well, I love to because like the drama teacher actor, like so she gives a little monologue and walks out and coach goes to follower, but the drama teacher stands up and says, that, ladies and gentlemen, was great acting.

It wasn't. But what I love so much about that is that that would be an admission even within the universe of this film that no one could possibly have meant that bullshit about being loved by God. Right. Anyway, but the key though is that coach chases her down and he's like, hey, come with me, I want to show my wife how Christian we made you. And we're like, white saviors, aren't we?

There's literally, we're literally, because we saved you. We're literally why it's, oh, yeah, we have taken up this burden. You got to admit. Yeah, come on. So yeah, so, okay. So now she has to give back all the shit from her kleptobox. Like she just made it to step nine of AA or something to the craziest music. Oh yes. I am strong. Here's your headphones. I'm

nearly blown down. I'm gonna say this is a condom I took for your purse. And I'm nearly I stole this lipstick head phones again This would be more visually exciting to justify montage. Okay. Oh my god Keep singing guy keep singing I'm gonna run for a few minutes to stretch this out Please keep singing and let's step back and keep my like seriously. This is a movie About how the white people had just taught the black girl how to not be a thief using their Christianity. Yup, using their God. That's what just happened in the movie guys. All right. Then Hannah goes to see her dad again. The room is empty. I laughed out loud because I thought that he was

so tonight. So tonight, so tonight. I get yelled at by three ladies. They all turned and looked at me and I was like, oh, any of these women can beat the shit out of me. Oh, and the moment's great too because Hannah thinks he's dead, but kind of for no reason, she just walks in the room and she's like, he's out of the room. He's dead, dad's dead. And then immediately a nurse walks by. He's like, Oh, hey, are you? Feels like you're looking for your dad and think he's dead. Is that? Well, he's gone from this room. Sorry. I got to go to a better place in the hospital. I don't know. I'm phrasing and my pausing. This happens a lot. He's in a different room. Yeah. so they take her to ICU to see him and she tells him she's like, you know, I'm a Christian now

And it occurs to me that if Jesus can forgive me for petty theft as a means of attention seeking I suppose I can forgive you for abandoning me and killing my mother with your disdainful apathy That was should be easy for me to do then So now I'm over it I've owe you might even say I have overcome Mer All right, but but she so she gets home from the hospital and nanny is pissed, right? She's yelling

This actress. I don't know what She's yelling this actress. I don't know what takes she did before this one, but it's very obvious the Kendrick's came up and we're like, no, you know, like a, like a, and she was like, oh, so you just want me to yell all my life? Yes, we'd like you to yell all of your lines. That scares us, it scares us when you do that. You're the bad guy who raised a child from age,

whatever, because her parents were doing math and one of them died. You're the bad guy. You're the bad guy now. age, whatever, because her parents were doing math and one of them died. You're the bad guy. You're the bad guy now. Well, right, because, yeah, because Nanny's like, where the hell have you been? And she's like, well, I went to see my dad who you told me was dead.

And she's like, God, damn, I was hoping you were off drinking with boys or some fuck. So she goes to see the coach, right? And she basically, she like, she goes to see the coach and his wife and says, you guys can't possibly think you're the good guys in this fucking movie can you I'm sorry you wrote this fucking thing you wrote this thing and you think you're the good guy did you introduce my child to her father without even speaking to me because you just assumed you knew better than me. Yep. I just, oh, you're both, you're both pretending to be the wall.

I can see you. Not like a T-Rex. Eyes aren't based on movement. I see you don't count. Don't do the movement thing. You're not safe. Stop touching your couch. You are not safe.

I'm on base. The movie's getting scolded by itself right now. Yeah. And they don't realize it. They wrote her correctly scolding them. The movie. It's awesome. Yeah.

And oh my God, the fucking sad face that Alex Kendrick wears throughout this might end up being my first tattoo. I was fucking amazing. Vin Diesel sat in a graveyard on one biceps, sat out Kendrick on the other. A sweet look. Tom Brady just sitting there defeated. Ha, ha, ha. Nice little trio.

And then yeah, so then we get a little bit more of granny and Hannah fighting about it, which is like at least to this awkward moment where Grace is like, I can't believe you would lie to me about the thing I lied to you. You know what, fuck it, just fuck it. We'll, we'll yell at each other in a different scene. Yeah, it was us.

Oh, yelling. And then of course, it's time for everyone to ask a goddamn magic ghost, what he thinks about the situation, right? He he he he he he he he. So we get the coach and his wife. There's literally, there are literally, at this point, three praying scenes in a row.

Yep. They're praying at child's posts. Yeah, they're, they're all like stick, sit there with their asses in the air praying, the coach and his wife. Then grandma goes to see Thomas. And basically she says, amen, fuck you. And he goes, fair. And then she leaves and Thomas prays. Thomas scene is amazing. That is the fact that that stayed in the movie because he's just like, oh, I knew you would come. And she was like, oh, did you? Is it because you murdered my daughter with drugs? And he's like, yes, but now I'm a love your daughter.

Oh, the both times you've met her, you love her now. Yeah, cool. Good. Good. Good. Grandma just walks in throwing billiard balls like, oh, sorry, could you not see those coming? I'm gonna fuck your shit up, yeah, it's pretty great. It's terrible when something does something really

disruptive that you can't see coming, isn't it, Thomas? I'll give you a hint, how many billiard balls do I have? Clack, more than that one. Can you hear how many billiard balls I have? Can you hear it? I'm juggling them. How many is it? Maybe I'm really good.

You want to be deaf too? Or cut your fucking ears off. Let's do this. I'll tell you what, I'm going to stand perfectly silently in the corner of this room holding a billiard ball until you fall asleep or think I'm gone. And then I would just leave. She starts playing stuck in the middle with you, takes out an razor blade like Michael Madsen.

You ever see reservoir dogs? Cool. Can you smell? Smell that gasoline? Here we go. Edmund, okay, so she leaves Thomas Brazen, then she braze, right? Then we get a scene of her fucking prank. And I love this because this didn't occur to me until like the third one.

After each prayer, I'm pretty sure we're getting like prayers, I view Kim because literally after all three of them, we have like a sort of a fly away drone shot, leaning the building that they're going for. That was a prayer going to heaven. We were looking from the prayer's eye. You know, I was very distracted during grandma's praying scene by the giant jar of lollipops. She has on the table next to us. Oh, I didn't know that. I was super distracted by the.

I wanted to try to make it. Yeah. No. I like the grandma's prayer, just like made fun of God. And then they were like, well, we have no answer to that. She's just like, Hey, God, it's me the grandma character What the fuck you doing, bro? What what would you say you do here? All right, so now it's time for the big

Rules committee meeting remember that earbud thing that cleverly dropped in earlier? Circled the fuck. Coming back to Roost Motherfucker. Okay. Let's talk about how lazy this writing is. They could have just been like, you're allowed to wear earbuds during the thing and set this up. But because this movie was written like leading a trail of gumdrops in front of a hustle and dreadle after the lead paint ears. They're like, should we let someone wear an earbud? Yes, they can wear an earbud pre-recorded audio,

pre-recorded audio. Yeah. Yeah. So while they're voting on whether or not the players can wear ear buds when they're doing their cross country. The coach has an idea. See, what he's going to do is he's going to have Thomas free record 20 minutes of coaching that'll talk Hannah through her big race in the state championships. That's the craziest dumbest idea. Oh my God. Yes. Makes no sense. No, it. No. He's just going to be explaining to her how far behind she is from the state champ at each moment during now. She's probably like a minute ahead of you. I guess in the day's time, you should have ran a minute faster than you have so far. And you could be tied.

I love it. Yeah, because they throw in a couple of little scenes here to like distract you from the practical impossibility of this idea. Like, I'll fill the race. Well, I'll stay on there and tap his arms when the next hill comes up. So he'll know three taps for hill and one. What the fuck? Give me a fucking break. And we get to watch Dad and the two brothers take a golf cart through the whole. Yeah, here, right? And they're like, they're counting. Like they have in one of the kids count off.

What the fuck, math? Do they think they're doing here? That like the he's driving and he's like looking at the thing and drawing stuff out. And he's like, son, yell out the seconds. She'll be here now, three oh five, three oh six. Now here, three oh set. What, what does that mean? How's that going to be helpful? Some, and some other runner is going to be here. Now we're now right. There's another coach in a different golf car. Really? Are you going to be there now? We're already

back here now. Hold on. We got to start at the same time. We got to count off Morgan one, two, three. They're clapping in front of each other. All right. So yes, but that's the big idea for act three. So now it's time for the big race. So we get to watch kids run again. So coach gives her this fucking iPod shuffle with the, um, with the track coaching in it. And I just, she doesn't know it's coming. I just wanted to have a fucking emotional breakdown as soon as she heard her dad's voice and just spent 20 minutes crying at the starting line. He's just standing there. Go, go, honey, go. Oh, shit. No, the surprise. Listen, because in like three minutes, he's going to tell you where you are on the race

and he is wrong. Can you do the skip ahead function? You know what, rewind it. Never mind. Yeah. And you know what, I'm going to admit this like this is in its own way. This is kind of brilliant, right? So like if you tasked me with writing a cross country race movie and keeping the last race interesting, this is, you know, the voiceover thing here is at least as good as anything I could have come up with. I want you to know that the Kendrick Brothers are 100% listening to this podcast and they just turned it off. They were like, see, they loved it.

They knew it nailed it. Half-I've told you, you just had to make it. Well, yeah, it's hopefully they hopefully they turned it off before I had, of course, I would have just gone with using an interesting sport at the center of my movie. But, but I was pretty impressed with that when they thought when they did that, because I kept thinking, like, how the fuck are they going to make yet another race cinematic enough for the and they figured out a way to do it. It's terrible because he just spends the whole time sermonizing, right?

But not just sermonizing, but giving medium running advice, right? He's like pump, pump your arms, um, continue to run. I'll be like also like I should have said legs too. Also, okay. When, when your legs are tired, don't do that. Having yourself being tired. This, the whole thing is so good though. I love the very beginning of this too. They get the gun goes off and then that drone that they bought just for the overhead shot of running and the prayers I view gets running overhead shot.

And then this is, this is what they're recording. A lot of it is like the dad saying, all right, daughter, we're going to pass people one at a time. Can't really do that any other. I do Morgan, Morgan cut that part. This is still a stupid, now pass the tall girl in front of you. I don't know how I knew that, but there's tall girl in front. And I wanted her to take an early lead and just have all the issues. Fuck up.

Keep passing. He's like, no, I'm way out in front of the ass. So yeah, I had a much darker vision where she like trips and falls down in the recordings, just playing and over her dead body in a gullet somewhere. The last 30 seconds of the race pushed itself harder than you've ever been. And she just shits herself. Oh, if your lungs are tired from bleeding, uh, don't do that. Lay there. Keep laying.

All right. So here's the thing about the scenes. I was so distracted by the recording because we keep cutting back and forth to her racing and him doing the voiceover and then him recording it with, with coach the day before. But the microphone, I don't know what they're using. It's off screen, wherever it is. So I want to make this movie again as a goddamn podcaster But she's listening to the actual audio that he would have using the fucking microphone on his phone from 18 feet away in a busy hospital

Honey, I just want you to know Don't it's not me. It's not me, it's the next guy in an ex bed. He's fucking dead though. Whoa. Is that my daughter in there? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Alright, but because of all the good coaching, she runs very, very well now. Yeah.

I wouldn't say all good coaching. At one point, he says, if you're as Miss kicking in, ignore that. Yep. And we're going to find out why that's a horrible thing to say, even if it wasn't obvious already, that that's a horrible thing to say. And then she's getting closer to done. And this is one of my one. Now run faster. She's trying to catch up to the girl at the front and the girl at the front has to intentionally slow down. Oh, she's hardly running. It's this. This girl was obviously a real track runner. And so they had this actress running behind her and you see her be like, Oh, I got to slow down this month. Okay, this is He told her to jog at least it has to happen before the finish line

Oh, no, I sat down to take a nap tortoise. I hope no one passes me. What the fuck my teammates? All right, so but yeah, but her in the stage champ get to the finish line and just then as they get to the finish line together, Hannah collapses because it's super dangerous probably a push in as the math. Like, seems like she should have picked a different sport. But she's fine. That was just for dramatic effects. Yep.

And I think this is my favorite moment in the movie because she passes out and you think, all right, if she's dead, this is what that's going to be. That's fucking amazing. It's just her, she dies and the dead dies, cross cut. Fantastic. Grandma has a hard attack at work. Yeah. A car.

There is a mass shooting at that race. Kills the coach and it's what? Credence. Grandma's in a traffic stop. Doesn't go well. shooting at that race kills the coach and it's what credit. Is it? Grandma's in a traffic stop. Doesn't go well. But yeah, so she's, she passes out in like on the finish line, like right on the finish line.

And a ref comes over and he's like, hey, could you get her out of the way? More runners are coming. Yeah. She's, I mean, if she's dead or alive, does it, but just move her over a few feet either away because we're trying to run a race. Move over to the side of the road if she's dead or alive, just move her over a few feet either way because we're trying to run a race. We'll go over to the side of the road if there's no interest. So yeah, right.

And by the way, okay, so they're, they're putting an oxygen mask on her dragon off and we have this really long, bizarrely long series of end of the meat. Nobody knows who won yet, but they want to make sure that we see that they all shake hands kind of or whatever. Yeah. Someone who has never been to the end of a track meet because all of these runners would be squeezing weird, gatorade, baby food into their mouths and trying super hard not to vomit it back up. I mean, I get why they didn't show it in their movie. That's what happens at the end of runs just so you know. All right, but now the race official guy or whatever comes to tell her that she won the race. They had to go back and look at the video because it was so close, but the fact

that she was passing out unconscious at that last segment that she was leaning forward more funny. That header you took really helped. We thought it was La La land, but no, it was you. It was you. You won by, you won by the length of your inhaler. There's a big argument going on right now, but you're inhaler. One race. Yep.

Yep. She won the Hoistler on their shoulders. She looks very uncomfortable up there. And also, okay, I don't know how track works, but she won this race. So she's the state champion, even though she never finished even in the top 10 and any of the other, why do they have the rest of the season? Then this seems like a shit. Just warm ups.

Okay. It's a double elimination system, you see now. Yep. And she takes the podium and I wanted her so bad to take a knee. Yes. Oh, yes. Black Panther fist. Tommy Smith. He's theater would have lost their goddamn much. Yeah. Right. And writing. Oh, and I mean, again, this was filmed in like South Georgia. I guarantee you they had a bunch of shots with Confederate flags in the background that they had to cut 100% that happened.

Oh, I, if it comes out that they cut those, that, that will ruin this movie's box office. If they, if, if we can prove that they like digitally deleted some rebel flags from it, we can kill this movie dead. All right. Oh, and then we have the scene where it turns out that granny was at a race after all. She's late to work, but it was worth it to watch her her granddaughter run and good. And and she totally fucks this scene. She's like, I know it hasn't been easy, but I want you to whatever. Can I go see my dad? And she's like, yep. Okay. I had a whole thing. I'll go to my second job that I delayed. And I'll just go

burry some more food. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, see you then. Say hi to your mom for me. Oh, wait, you can't because your dad murdered her. Dad runs out of the woods. I took some math and ran race by sound. I'm here too. Fourth place. I feel so free. But ultimately, of course, Granny decides, ah, Shucks, what's a little introduce in my daughter to math and supply on her with it until she's dead and then dropping off a child on my doorstep, not providing any financial support for a decade and a half among friends. And she does the right thing and decides that, that Hannah can go see her dad. So we head back to the hospital one last time.

And I love this. He goes, the, Thomas, the dad, he goes, how did you do in the race? And instead of saying, I won or anything, she puts the metal around the blind man's neck. So for all he knows, this is a 12 place metal. He has no fucking idea. Medals are cool. I guess I know they give these to everyone now. I don't necessarily support that. What color is this? Can you tell me? That's not just any metal. You're blind.

It's gold. We made you blind for this reveal. It's gold. All right. And then mom and dad go out into the hall because Alex Kendrick was absolutely sure that the audience was going to want wanna watch him a mode again. So, we get him trying to cry there. Oh, it's so sad.

If you ever feel like you've been at your job and you just have one of these, like, oh, I can never gonna be good enough, just that you should have this scene just cute up on your phone at all times. Exactly, it's the ultimate motivational material. Yeah, exactly. All right, so now it's time for Thomas' funeral, Damit, because we are going to kill this.

We're done with this black guy. Let's kill him. That'll get a nice little boom, shrika boom at the end of the morning. And also, okay, so he's there at the funeral, the preacher standing up there, giving the funeral area rights Whatever to say and as a whole thing and basically here's the paraphrase of what the preacher says Yes, Thomas is dead, but we will take comfort in Pretending that that isn't real

So exact quote he's now alive and well in the presence of the Lord. No, that's not Christian. You don't believe he's alive in the presence of the Lord. Nope, that's not Christian. You don't believe he's alive. Nope, you might believe he's well, but definitely not alive. That's that word means something. So, and then there's also this great moment where like coach, after the funeral,

Hannah's standing by the graveside and coach comes up to talk to her and she says, for six weeks, I had the best dad in the world and I'm like demonstrably untrue, my dad can see. Like just, we have a, like based on nothing but that, I think my dad wins out. Also, there's like a backstory thing. So like when your dad kills your mom,

and then it's two for six weeks, he doesn't, really doesn't matter how average is that. That's all we have. What would you say he did here? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What would you say he did here? All right, and then the movie should just fucking end, but it doesn't. We cut to six years later, and I'm convinced that's just so that I have to look at that creepiest fuck digital aging they did to this actor. Very weird.

Oh my God. Yeah, we just basically set up camping on County Valley here. But we learned that before he died, her dad recorded a podcast episode for every birthday of her life and now the coach sends her one every year. See, that's everybody's good as financial support and ensuring proper nutrition and a adolescents right? I want to hear dads predictions so about a you 21 now and you probably dating someone who's really shitty like really shitty and you don't know how to get out of it because you just broke up with the high school person and then this this lasted way longer than

you thought it would and you're just sort of looking for a way out. Man. Happy birthday, honey. All right. So now you're 39 and you're a podcaster. This isn't great. Have you tried math?

I'm your dad. You're in beautiful, Albania, Georgia. That's real. They've Albany. They pronounce it Albania. I believe. No, they pronounce Albany. They say Albany. Yeah, I live right next to that one. Next to Boston. Yeah. Boston. They also have a Boston, I think. Do they? I don't know about that one. All right, but yeah, that's it. Then we get credits. A lot of Kendrick's in the credits. So many Kendrick's in there. And it's in the best places. Like it's all the crowd shots. Yeah, all the actors. Yeah, but then there's these tiny moments of like prop specialists, Steve Kendrick. Thanks for the car, Steve. Thanks for the car Steve. Yeah.

Yep. They had about 19 different art assistant Kendra's also. Yep. All of them drew a picture. And there was one moment in the credits called the Prayer Warriors. Yes. There was about a hundred people in the credits. All different people called just prayer warriors.

Not actors. they were just... They pray and prayed for the movie to be successful. All right, I got to point this out in case anybody hadn't realized this. This is the second time, this year, that we have gone to a theater to watch a Track running movie with a dying small town as its backdrop. So I just used the same notes from last time Right notes this time just changed white to black and you're there. Yeah. All right, so my question to close things off is Where did it all go so wrong guys at one point? We thought we were gonna be famous remember Where did it all go so wrong guys at one point we thought we were gonna be famous remember We're gonna be famous bummed out

She give us five star reviews on iTunes really does matter Bumps us up in the charts helps new people find us. Yeah, but that just means we're gonna be doing this more still I think went wrong around Sixth day when God created animals wrong around the sixth day when God created animals. They did. That's 6,000 years ago. It was a way to impress with his own work. He thought everything was good.

Yeah. All right. Well, that's going to do it for our review of overcomer, but it's not going to do it for the episode just yet, because we still need to leave you on a cliffhanger. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. We've been waiting on this one for the while. We'll be doing the documentary.

What the health? Oh, sweet, sweet awesome. I actually am really looking forward to that one. This is every vegan argument Eli would like you not to hear. The documentary. Okay, your cancer with a carrot right? Yeah, exactly. All right.

So with that to look forward to, we're going to bring up a two tend to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that help make the show go. If you'd like to go out yourself among the ranks, you can make a per episode donation of patreon.com. So I got off them and they're by your early access to an every version of every episode.

You can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review on iTunes and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. If you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows and scanning a deacitation needed in the Skeptorat available on iTunes Stitcher and wear a mouse podcast live. If you have questions, comments or cinematic suggestions, you sibling shows and scaling ideas, citation needed in the Skeptor Hat, available on iTunes, Stitcher, and We're Rouse Podcasts. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email us at gmail.com. Legal Services for this podcast are provided by the law, this is a P.A.D.

Retours. Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotting, and we will draft some Mars, other than movies to be written, performed by our audio engineer, Morgan Clark, and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen, right? Neelybos, the Goblin Illusions, promised to work hard to earn another chunk next week until then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club close.

Grandma got fired from her job for being late. Every goddamn time in this room. Eventually, Coach realized that history teacher had actually been his job the whole time, and Coach was just a hobby. Hannah's vote never got counted by Georgia for the rest of her life. We're gonna have Stacey! We're gonna have Stacey! Neither did Stacey's vote. No, neither did she.

For herself. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on a Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2019 all rights reserved.