God Awful Movies - 234: GAM234 Sing Over Me

Episode Date: February 11, 2020

On this week's episode, comedian Patrick Davis joins us for an atheist review of "Sing Over Me", a documentary about an evangelical hymn writer and his lifelong struggle with trying to maintain his homophobia and his homosexuality in equal measures.--- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

I know I remember that because mom tries to say successful here and that's a great three and a half minutes of this film Right in the nursery and a half minutes of the film Suss asses, fles, Suffman, Fits, Fespo, my mother-in-law lived in a shack. I don't know what the fuck you are You all have to understand in Soapoda, Oklahoma No one has ever been successful. They've never had to use that word. You know what, that's the first time they've ever been called upon to help us have word

to a person. Not awful. Movie. Movie. Movie. Movie. OOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII this week but sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? Shitty Noah. I hate this movie and I hate everyone involved. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We're almost so excited to welcome a special guest maskist to the show this week. Patrick Davis is a comedian and a magician and we're hoping a real good sport when it comes to which movies

we ask people to watch Patrick welcome to God awful movies sir. Yeah happy to be here. Not happy to have watched this movie. Oh wow boy was this fucking bad. I mean you know we've done 234 of these. I'm used to bad. This was truly God awful every minute of this was just misery. So tell us Patrick what will we be breaking down today? Well, today we'll be watching Sing Over Me. It's the story of one man struggle with half the men of Oklahoma.

Pfft. Pfft. And Eli, how bad was this movie? Oh, well, if you love torturing children, but you're tired of not caring Jenny McCarthy's side of the story, you will love this movie. Yeah, in everything I can find on this, I am D. B. You, whatever it like, and Amazon, and the movie's description and its own

description, like, and they all have the sentence that this is a documentary about this man's quote, life long struggle with homosexuality. And quote, I too have also struggled my entire life with homosexuality, but I feel like in a very different direction. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. That's the thing is that that could be interesting. You know, dude in Oklahoma growing up with evangelical parents and and and and dealing with his homosexuality. Like that could be interesting, except that this movie thinks that's like dealing with alcoholism, right? Well, also, also like I would like to watch a movie of a man struggling with homosexuals.

What? Like that would be a direction that I would be interested in taking this. Patrick, I am sending you a link on porn hub right now. Yeah, I'm excited to watch it. Is it also an hour and 12 minutes? Yeah, I was gonna say like we should at least all we we should all watch one of those after, right? Like we should just watch it hour and 12. To balance it. Home of sexual

men struggling with each other for a little while to wash this film off of us. Oh my God. Great news Noah. I have for all of us awesome. I've got some titles I would be happy to recommend to your last artist after the show. I am pissed negative minutes into this movie, right? Like I'm looking at like it's on Amazon Prime and I'm reading the description of it. And I'm like, I haven't even started. I'm already pissed. I already have to walk out of the room for my pissed off in this before I start the movie. The average rating was like four and a half

stars, which seems impossible. Yeah. Right. That guy can't possibly have that many relatives. Well, what was almost my best worst was best worst Amazon and IMDB reviews because the IMDB and Amazon reviews are either one star. This is horrific propaganda. Please don't watch this or five stars. So, hear me out. I'm at a truck stop in Dayton, Ohio and just whatever comes through the hole, I'm sucking at her fuck it. But then Jesus fixed me for in a half star. Wow. All right. So, that was one of your options. Obviously, it's not the one that you went with. Do you guys have anything you want to nominate?

This is for being the best to be the worst at. Yeah. So for me, it was the best, worst, straight depiction of Oklahoma because I feel like they wanted to seem like Oklahoma is like the heartland. It's where, you know, all the God fearing people are. But you also get this depiction of Oklahoma just gay fuck fest everywhere you turn. Yeah. It's just one orgy after the other.

And truly, in Oklahoma. Yeah. No, we got, we got definitely got to see the CD side of the state there. I was going to go with best worst shoe horning in your black friend. Oh, in the middle of this movie, apropos of nothing. So this is a documentary about this gay Christian gospel musician or him writer or something. Well, I'm sorry, ex gay. He's not ex gay. He was completely made renewed. Oh, like he's like he's a new person now. Everything about him is that's right.

That's right. Cause gay him is dead and buried in his front yard. I really can't wait to get into this movie. There's a lot going on. But apropos of nothing right in the middle of all of this. He's doing this, this talk at some conference or whatever and he throws up a picture and he goes look how many black friends I had in school right. Right. And then we move on from that. We never hear from any of these friends. There's never a reason for any of that.

Well, imagine what happened in their lives, right, where they got a call from their old high school basketball teammate. And he was like, hey, I'm making this documentary about how I used to be gay. Would you like to be in it? Yeah. I'm not surprised a single one of them turned this day. So I took the easy one. I was going to go with best worst sympathetic protagonist. Yeah. Because look, this movie resembles good documentaries about how difficult it is to be gay in the South. No, no, no, it represents bad documentaries about that. But

yes, but good documentary, bad documentaries that have good intentions. Yes. Right. It has the same plot point says for the Bible. Exactly. Or, you know, the God who wasn't there, you know, the movies that are about like how difficult it is to be gay or queer in the self and how problematic and horrible religion can be. But when you watch this movie and you realize that this is a sales pitch for conversion therapy, yeah, it is a sales pitch for shocking your child until lying about how gay they are. Every bad thing that happens to this in him in the movie, my notes are like, good, good, I'm glad. I'm glad I hope you get hit by a train next

in your story. Because this is Hitler's sob museum. I truly, like there is, I would be hard pressed to find a worse human being to try and make looks sympathetic in a movie. Well, so here's the thing though, is that like he is both victim and victimizer in this film, right? So I have a ton of sympathy for this guy because he's brought into this so deeply that like

he's torturing himself and then, you know, projecting that torture onto other people. But yeah, at a certain point, it's just like, yeah, like, you've danced around this too long not to see it. Yeah. For me, yeah, especially like, and we'll get into this in a minute, but like, especially for me, like, there's like a point in his life where like,

he seems like he's actually gonna be okay and everything's gonna be fine. And he just takes that off ramp back into terrible. Yeah, like, he just takes that off ramp back into terrible. Yeah, like he just takes that right hand turn. I was like, at one point I'm like, oh, it sounds like your life is actually going towards a healthy place. And nope, nope. No, no, and what's amazing is that in retrospect, after you get to the end of the movie, that moment where we were all like, oh, good for you. That was rock bottom. It really was when you think

about in this movie's mind, yeah. That's that point of no return in the script writing book. Right, yes, exactly. If you gave me the raw footage of this movie, I could recut a good documentary. I just gotta take a middle chunk, put it at the end. I could do this. I can make it work.

Yeah, right. All right, well, normally I need to do deep breathing going into movies like this. This time I recommend that the listeners at home do so as well. So we're going to take a quick break. And when we come back, we'll dive into all the active hate crime that is. Sing over me. Hi, I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Patrick Davis. And I'm no illusions here to talk to you about this week's sponsor, being gay. That's right Noah. Being gay isn't just 100% fine. It's also good for the environment because we recycle. That's right. You do recycle. We know a lot of our listeners used to be religious and some of them still are. So you spent your whole life being told that being gay is immoral,

unnatural, or otherwise bad. But we just wanted to take a moment right here at the start of our show to remind you that being gay is actually totally fine. It really is. So if you're gay or might be gay and the themes and messages of today's movie hit a little too close to home, just a quick reminder, fuck everyone who made this movie or is in it, being gay is fine.

Fuck them right in their faces. And now on with the show. Alright everybody, welcome to the first writer's room meeting for Sing Over Me. And I'm not gay anymore. That's right, that's right. None of us are gay anymore. So what are we thinking? Well, I think it's really important that we tell Dennis's story. Yeah, that's so important. So so important. Right. Okay. So let's see Dennis grew up in Oklahoma. And he did music. Yep. And he used to be gay.

Yes. Mm-hmm. Crap, is that the whole story? I mean, we could also describe all his gay experiences like a horror movie. Oh, good, good, good. Yeah, that's got to be like a few minutes. Sure. Sure.

Right. He could sit in the rain at a piano. Wow, that is gonna be something for sure. I'm not gay anymore. We know, dude. Yeah, yeah. Neither are any of us. It's great to not be gay.

Yeah, super great. And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to start off wishing that Amazon had a watch now, but it's for work. I don't believe in this shit button, right? But they know, yeah, this, this has ruined my algorithm. My algorithm was already ruined. I just don't want this hanging around my like historical profile or anything. Yeah. 234 episodes in. I just want to say it's not the Christian movie recommendations that get to me. It's the edge case algorithm recommendations I get. Like they'll be like, yeah, you might like what would Jesus do or love in Jesus or monster truck rallies for put it in my butt Stay it's just the weirdest fucking things have happened to my Netflix queue. It's so sure I want to watch nailed it. It's so sure Nailed it's pretty good. All right. Well, there you go. Maybe I do want to watch

Yeah, exactly. It's still like trusted Netflix, man. Yeah, okay, so we started, this is a documentary brought to us from free-verse films. Yeah, so I don't know. Do you all do a lot of movies with free-verse films? This is the first. So they're intro card, just for the people at home, because I understand that a lot of you

aren't going to be watching this movie. The title card, so you know how universal is like the spinning planet and MGM has the lion. This one is like it's just a clump of pubes. Stuff right on the screen. Yep. It is shocking, frankly. Yeah, it really is.

Yeah, actually, now that you mentioned it, okay. So we end up with a clump of pubes and then we get Zeephaniah 317 sitting up there for the sea level readers. It's up there for a while, just in case you had a sound in out. Okay. What part of the Bible is Zephaniah?

Is that like in one of the like the Jew parts? Yeah, that is in the minor profits, I believe. Yeah, I was just a, I like, not that I like, I'm out thumping through the Bible on a daily basis, but like I I like not that I like and I'm out Thumbning through the Bible on a daily basis, but like I feel like I've got like a good kind of feel for the shape of it Like you know, there's the Old Testament the New Testament. There's like the Genesis the Exodus the all the numbers There's some stuff about judges. Yep, but Zeff and I was new to me Yeah, look because okay, so At the end of the Old Testament, there's like

a bunch of appendices that are the minor prophets. And I believe that's where Zephyn, they're all like a page and a half long. I'm glad I'm glad he made the cut. Yeah. Perfect. Perfect. They're moving. They're real happy for him. Like his mom worked there. You know what I mean? Like right at the very end, they're like, and Zephaniah's essay is good enough. He's like, yay. It's like, for me, imagine making it into the Bible and still nobody knowing who you are. Yeah, right. Like you've made it into the Bible

and still you're nothing. So, oh, you know what? That's actually a really good way to introduce the fellow Dennis Jernigan at the set. How does this move? It's a really, I kept reading his name as Dennis Jergens, like the lotion you jack off with. Yep. Yep.

So, okay. So this guy, we start off with a series of clips of like we're supposed to see like, look, he's famous. He gets an interview on the TV, but like, you know, Patrick's getting interviewed on a podcast right now. Like, come on, you know, and it's all of this bullshit Christian TV stuff. He's like sitting there with these two Fox news reject ladies. So we got to talk about it for a second because they had the exact same haircut despite

having hair links that are very different, which seems impossible. It's so like the show, like, you don't, because they never show like what the show is, but in the background, you see like their logo and the show is, if you like, pause the film and you like, look really, film, I like it's a piece of art. And pause the movie. You can see it says, the show they're on

is called at home with Chuck and Jenny. But these are two identical women interviewing this guy. I don't know what happened to Chuck. I don't know if we should be worried about what is that? I think it might be the same Chuck and I don't want to spoil it because we're going to get to that. Yeah, right? But I really think there's a chance it could be that Chuck. Yeah. No, like, okay, all right. Chuck is by far the most interesting character in this movie. We're coming back to Chuck guys. Don't worry. Yeah, we'll get there. And I just want to say it is legal to ride a bike in New York state wearing these

women's hair. Just so anyone knows you can go helmet free if you've got their cut. They are somehow both the Kathie Lee differed of this shit. Yeah. All right. And so he's on this interview with them. And he's like, well, you know, I struggled my whole life with my own internalized bigotry. Oh, wait, I don't know that with, with same sex attraction. He offers it out of nowhere. We're like, yes. We know. We know.

We look at you. We see you too. We have eyes. We know you're struggled. The conversation is this in order. What's it like to play in front of that many people? Really fun? You know, I used to be gay. So I just imagine them sitting on the couch next to him being like like these two identical women. Neither of them are with Chuck. I don't know which one's Jenny, but like these two women clearly have. I don't know which one's Jenny, but like, these two women clearly have, you know, thought about each other.

And then there's this guy's like, I used to be gay and they're like, oh no, he found us out. Yeah. And this is where he announces that November 7th, 1981, and I really, really wanted that to be the last day he sucked a dick like he was gonna do a rock bottom war and Ellis story for us But yep, but like he's I wrote my nose at that point. I'm like, why would this he know the exact date of his first Gain I will But even now I know I couldn't tell you what that date was

To him so okay, so we open on some singing right like with a movie opens We get the title screen and everything and we open on some singing, right? Like with a movie opens, we get the title screen and everything. And we open on some singing. And it's one of these classic, you get this in Christianity so often. The quality of the song is way out of balance with the quality of the singers. The singers are actually very talented. And the song is utter shit. Yeah. And we also see him 30 years later, right?

We have not seen Dennis Jernigan through this movie. We've just seen the clip of him when he was young and I guess more popular than he is now. And he looks like a guy who's not been fucking who he wants to for 30 years. Like that's a great description of how he looks now. He's got those slump shoulders and that, that hair that's just I've given up. Yeah. There's a lot of giving up written on his face. Yeah. And Noah, you mentioned this chorus. This chorus is a fascinating sample of humanity.

The girl at the front, like, she's the most normal looking, but the rest of the chorus looks like someone hit the randomize on a video game character creator. He's extremely, she's normal looking, but like she's got like this hair that's like almost in the shape of a pie chart of like what percentage of the choir is not white. It's like, it's like, imagine an Afro with a tiny wedge taking out like just like all the way down to her skull taken out of it. And so it's like, because there are two like people in this choir. Yeah. And the rest of them,

it's the United Colors of Benetan. But the song is, I brought in my notes here, that the song is basically the, the fucking musical equivalent of your password being password. It sure is. What were the words even to it? Do we even remember? No, I wrote some of the lyrics down later to one of his songs just because they're all so boring and like, you know, he rhymes with me and all of them and shit. So I wrote some of them down just to give you an example later, but I didn't have these ones.

Yeah. All right, so then we open on, like one of the most, the shots that we're gonna get the most mileage out of here. This is him walking around his piano farm. He's sneaking up on his old piano in a field was my know. I wanted him to murder it like old yellow. Yeah, right. Right exactly.

The piano will be at place like he's going to do that at some point. Like he's going to put that damn piano down. This is the this is the piano I played the game music on and I've got a little to you guys. You guys are making fun of his piano out in the field just because you're coastal liberal elites who don't understand that real Americans can't afford fancy music rooms. And so leave their pianos in the middle of a field. They have their own field pianos, dammit. They're not house pianos, okay. We can't fall down through pianos running around the house.

It's an outdoor piano. For outside. That's why that piano is going to vote for Trump. No, this piano followed me home. Like it's outside, the piano is moist. Like, and he just, he does not wipe out the wipe down the chair. He just sits right in the puddle. Yeah, there's that, there's that, everything.

There's a tree in the distance that someone has been lynched from. Like, they're not still hanging there, but you can tell that was its original purpose. He's still just see the bend in the, in the bows there. Yeah. Like, he's just, and like, what's funny to me is like, so like when we come to this field, there is an outright thunderstorm happening. Like you're seeing lightning in the sky as he's walking through this open field towards his piano.

And I feel like being in an open field in a thunderstorm is already bad, but it's especially bad if you're gay and you think God's not like cool with that. Like that seems like you're asking for it. That's like now that it's the victims fall like I don't want to blame lightning strike victims here that it's their own fault. But like, well, but wait, wait, but that's probably now that you mention that.

I think I understand the scene is that like some of the people watching this, okay, if you're Christian and you're watching this, you're not so sure. Maybe this guy really is one of the gaze. That's how you know he's not because he's like, look, I'm sitting right next to lightning and God isn't getting me. Obviously, you know, I am winning the fight. I'm playing a big wet piano and God's not touching me. So he checks into this little convention.

I guess this is a big gig for a Christian artist like we've played bigger rooms than this like I know Eli you played much bigger rooms than this but like got off on movies is playing bigger rooms. We're literally playing a bigger room than this a week from today. Yeah, I've never watched someone classified as a mega celebrity who I'm like I've never watched someone classified as a mega celebrity who I'm like, ooh, had to go for round tops because you couldn't quite fill a hundred in that buffet and fucking dial a Johnson picture. For me, I loved, like, because you get to see him like with his little roller bag and he's like checking in the hotel and everyone's greeting him and every single person makes

direct eye contact with the camera as if they didn't know that that was going to be there. And so he's just like, you see, like, she's like, I'm Donna. And then Donna, like, makes direct eye contact with the camera, which I'm told is a no-no. But like, it needs like, she's like, hi, you know, some woman's like, uh, hi, I'm happy to see you. I was at your concert in Waco several years ago. And I'm like, you look like you weren't in Waco several years ago attending concert wasn't like, hey, look like you weren't in wayco several years ago attending concert wasn't the only thing you were doing. All right. So then they introduced him at this diabolical conference of D. Gaying or whatever the fuck he's at. He opens up by saying that he used

to think that God hated him because that's what it says in the book. And that's what the vast majority of people in his religion believe end of sentence, right? Yeah. So first of all, we got to, we got to cover the fact that this, what we realize is that this little convention he's playing at is in a place called Midwest City, Oklahoma. Jesus, the name of that city is fucking bleak. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. The saddest thing I've ever heard of. His fucking big gig wasn't even out of state. No, I imagine going, I imagine going from the heights of doing interviews at home with Chuck and Jenny down to playing the Sheraton and the holiday and express in

Midwest city. And who gives the fuck a high really truly depressive. Wow. And he's also like warming up the crowd with his ex-gainless, right? He's like, how's everyone doing tonight? Who's drinking tonight? Who's fucking tonight? No dudes am I right?

Anyways, here's a song you might not recognize. Bang, bang, bang. Yeah, but before he bing-bang, he goes like, do you guys mind standing while I play this song? Oh, that, that, when he said, when he said, please stand, that had like real jet bush energy. Yeah, right. Oh, that, that, when he said, when he said, please stand, that had like real jet bush energy. Like, I don't want to stand. I want to know what the standing ovation feels like at least this. I just, I just want you to not eat chicken for one song. Just the first one. I just want to not watch you chew.

That's the thing. Like, so first of all, like he's fished on the piano and we get a big close up on the wedding ring on his finger, which is like spoiler alert. Okay. You're letting us know the ending before we get there. Let up on the wedding ring on his finger, which is like spoiler alert. Okay. You're letting us know the ending before we get there. Let us enjoy the journey. To that, yeah, right. But yeah, it's just, this is a luncheon.

It is. It is. It's just taking place at like 2 p.m. It is. It's sad. That's just big gig for his documentary. And then, okay, now we're going to meet Dennis journey against parents.

I would tell you what they look like, but you're already correctly picturing them, right? Like evangelical parents of an ex gay white gospel singer from Oklahoma, you nailed it down to dad's suspenders and belts. The dad looks a little bit like if Truman Capote had never discovered writing, but did discover crispy cream doughnut. I have him as he looks like if the shield was about a security guard at the old country buffet. So, yeah, so mom explains that, you know, her

son grew up back when America was already great again. And then out of fucking nowhere of this, like we grew up in a rural town where nothing much ever really happened. He's molested in a public bathroom. Dendezis. Yeah, that wouldn't caught me by surprise. I'm not gonna lie. So first of all, the mom's like, nothing bad ever happened around here. It's like, well, guess you were wrong, Mrs. Degre. Yeah, right. Right. As you're wrong. As that's echoing, he's like, yeah, then this guy whacked me with this dick in a public restroom or some weird shit, you know? Well, hold on, because I would have like, so what actually happened to the bathroom?

Because like, what it seems like happened is he, like, he was five years old. He went into a bathroom. A guy turned around with his dick out and was like, eh, and then he ran away. Was like, am I wrong in that? That is, that does appear to be the story. Yeah. Like that's his, that's his molestation. I just want to be clear like that. Like I'm not missing a beat there. Yeah. And what he is concluded from that, by the way, he monologues, he was like, yeah, I'm pretty sure that guy could smell the gay on me and that's what he tried to molest me.

Yeah, right, right. And I'm like, it's like, what are you talking about? You were five. You were a child. Yeah, who would have, but so like, I will say though, in my experience, Christians love to go for that. Danes is the byproduct of being molested as a child angle. Yeah, very much.

Like, and like, let's be clear here, like, what happened to him? He's not okay. Whoever did that to him should have terrible things happen to him. Yeah. But it's not like, he that, oh, he could sense the gay on me. And that's what turned me, I was like, a creeper showed you his dick and you ran away. Like, I think it had more to do with the fact you were a child than you were gay. Yeah, yeah, and we point out that's that's actually it's really important to conversion therapy because the angle for most conversion therapy at this point is

you're not gay you were molested as a kid and that drama created this psychosis in you so like again keep in mind that this is all the pitch for come shock your teenager into pretending, which is why he put this in the movie, right? Yep. Exactly. So now we visit Chernobyl so that we can see his childhood home. Like, he's like, this is where I grew up. It's this weird, like did they burn it down and then rebuild it for this shot? Yeah. It looks like a very, very small Tasmanian devil came in right before they started shooting. Here's the thing, I want to be clear. It sounds almost like you can almost get away with saying the house was messy. No, this house looked like it had been abandoned for years and it's not just that they moved out because the ceiling's falling in

and the wall paints all gone and all this stuff. And it's covered in dirt and dust. But it's not like they just moved away and let the house go. Like, it's still full of stuff. Yeah, well, that's the thing. Yeah, all their stuff is still there. Like, it's like they just like decided not to live there one day.

Like, they abandoned it, like, Jonestown or something. It really does. It's like, he's got boxes full of books that show like Jesus about to do in 9-11. It's crazy. You guys, if you've seen the Jesus and standing next to the skyscraper scene, I'm sure you pictured it immediately when he says, I've never seen that picture before. Is that a common picture that you probably see that quite a bit in Christian literature? Yeah, I've never seen that picture before. Is that a common picture that you see that quite a bit in Christian literature?

Yeah, but yeah, that's the best way I've ever seen it describe. But yeah, so it is walking through his Chernobyl-esque childhood home and he's talking about how he was the product of toxic masculinity. He's like, you know, when I was a kid, I learned, I really quick realized there was some different about me. I like to draw and listen to music and a moat. I yeah, I possessed empathy Which if you think about it is pretty gay is the point of this model? Yep, I just wrote my notes at this point like I'm so bored by this guy's life suck a dick already

So his parents mentioned about when well he was ambitious and he tried really hard at everything and then we get this little snippet where he's like talking about how he needed to be the best at everything and needed to be the best baseball player and needed to be the best musician and he needed the best at school because it was the only way he could get his parents affection. And like that's real. Like that like, that's a thing that like when you're growing up gay in a place where that's not okay. Like, you have this drive that like, I can make up for it by being the best at everything around me.

And so that way, people have to give me the respect and the stuff that I deserve because there's this huge fault in me that they'll find otherwise. If I don't, if I'm not constantly better than everyone else, they'll have a chance to like look at me and see me and see this like who I am. And I think that's like, you know, with all the election stuff, you know, there's this whole thing with like is Mayor Pete gay enough of, you know, like that he's not the right, and you know, you can totally really see that like he's a product of this and like growing up in Indiana and like needing to be the road scholar, the military person, the guy who speaks all these languages, like he is president of the United States, mayor of my town.

Like this drive that we can have of needing to kind of build this shield around us of perfection so that nobody can like see this enormous crack. And then like, you know, ultimately you come to terms with it and you're fine with it. Now you're just a very successful person who has a healthy lifestyle. But for some people, it just, rrr, I don't know if that was funny, probably just depressing. But like, yeah, no, but that actually, that makes a ton of sense, though, that makes a ton of sense. Like, like, like, watching this movie, like, I know that this guy has become this like monster of a human being, but like, you really do see this, like, just the bleakness of what this guy's life must have been like growing up and, and how, uh,

yeah. No, there's a lot of sad just built into this fucking movie. Yeah. And again, like, he's hitting all the beats of a documentary where he realizes it's okay to be gay and then has a happy life because it is. But he never does. Exactly. Yeah. But he's like, he's sitting there just going like, you know, he's, his parents were talking about figured out that he played piano as though it was like, they'd learned that their

son had leukemia, right? Yeah. Because they could tell that made him gay. Oh, damn it. He likes music. He's going to turn out gay. Which I mean, that's could tell that made him gay. Oh, damn it. He likes music. He's gonna turn out gay. Which I mean, that's how that works, but still. So they getcha. That's what that is. It's funny too, because like, it's all built in there. We're like, if my parents never found out I was gay, they would disown me. And then in a real

documentary, they would cut to the parents saying, like, when he told us we just loved him for who he was because he's our son. But here it's like the pants are like, yeah, no, we would have disowned him. Yeah, totally, yep. What is it, for sure? 100%, not okay. Ah, yeah.

And then of course we listen to some of his music, which everything he wrote sounds like a goddamn soap opera theme from when I'm PM, soap opera's in the 80s and all the lyrics were like Jesus loved me Even when I was sucking a dick, but I don't suck dick. No more, right? It's bonnet also we saw him do a sound check and somehow the sound Balance is off like during that sound check. He must have been like hey, I just want to hear this $99 Casio keyboard Make sure they don't hear my voice.

So he's also, so like, when he's talking about his childhood, he also has this thing where he's like, you know, I was just, I knew there was something different about me and I knew it wasn't supposed to be there and then I would go out at night and like mess around with these boys, these older boys who, you know, would, they were happy because I was happy and all this stuff and And I'm like, sitting there, I was like, I grew up gay

and Kentucky. And like, where are you finding these boys that were letting you find it? Because like in my high school, like, it was me and there was one other boy who was like very gay. And even we were like, like, we know this is okay for the two of us, but even still, is it? Where was he finding all of these gay teenagers in Boyton, Oklahoma? Yeah, you were missing that. The Pope was just crawling with gay sex back in the 80s. Yeah, I was just like, where are these? Yeah, I'm in the boys. They would go and we'd experiment and they'd experiment with me and not experiment with them. And everything was, you know, we were just touching each other all the time.

And then I'd see them in church. I'm like, what did you find this? Oh, just a province town and fire island redone with the muppet babies cast. Oh my god. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, doing these things with. And then, you know, I'd seal them in church. I'm like, if you think gay people can't be like macho or he man, that's a severe misreading of the back room of the eagle on a Saturday night. Yeah. Like that's so.

Oh, and so Eli, you were mentioning sound checks. Now it's time to spend a literal five fucking minutes of the movie on a Skype call with Mauricio. Oh, he, we watch him figure out Skype. I will look, there's a lot of unforgivable shit about this movie, but perhaps one of the worst parts about it is watching them just be like, can you hear me? Can you? Yeah, can you hear me?

We get to hear me. Okay, shit. I'm the VoIP call in the movie. Yep Jesus Christ Frankly, it was one of my favorite parts of the movie So okay, well here's the thing maricio. He's talking to the sky maricio another recovered gay and maricio is a on the bad Skype connection b has a super thick accent c says, oh, every third word and D is saying utter nonsense.

If you can't make it out, I had no fucking idea what was going on for these five minutes. Yep. This is where the subtitle went on for my first. Well, so for me, this is this is this call here. And a lot of Dennis's music is like, the signal of like whether like I'm not gay, it's like, you are, because it keeps seeping out a little bit. Like, at one point, like Mauricio is like,

my needy hungry soul, and I'm like, your needy hungry what? And Dennis is like, I just wanna climb inside Jesus. And let his love wash over me. And I'm like, what, like, Mauricio is just about how Jesus touched me deeply and poured his love all over me. It's the it's the Tobias Funeke joke from a rest of development where like he doesn't understand that he just speaking gay and you endow except they're doing it for real.

Yeah, right. Right. I was right. I know it's like make the end you endow harder on me, dude. I'm a professional. I can handle it. I'm just like you, your body just wants to be gay so bad that you're just letting these little slips out every now and then. Oh, yeah, but Mauricio like he talks about how gay he isn't for awhile. And he's like,

Hey, Hey, do you want to see the woman that I have sex with? Check it out. Check it out, lady. He drags this poor woman who does not speak English into the frame and he's like, huh, this is my anti gay coach. I know you love that I still need an anti gay coach. Listen, listen, looking at this wife's hair, like I see why she married a gay man. Like I see her hair and I'm like, I get it. I see what you were going for there. And frankly, she has to be pissed

that the bet didn't pay off. Yeah, for real. I get it. She's just always standing in front of the mirror. Whatever will I do in it this morning? I don't know, I'm not gay anymore. Gah! Gah!

Gah! And I love too that we spend some time meeting Mauricio son so that the movie can just stop dead. Look at this directly in the eye and said, if it wasn't for the anti gay stuff we did, this kid would basically have been pre-aborted. You're murdering this kid if you think I'm gay. Exactly. If you support gayness, you support the murder of this baby, which like, yeah. Okay.

Like, I get that Mauricio and his wife have sex like they have a child that's documented. It's not like going down on her though, right? Like, well, it seems even allowed to do that. No, not allowed. So he's like, that's an out for him. He doesn't have to. Right, right. Exactly.

They just need to be fruitful and multiply. Okay. I get it. I throw up because I know that it's against God's will. That's why I throw up when we do that. And then okay, so we go back to, like we get done with this stupid fucking phone call and then Dennis starts talking to us about what a hard time of it. He had in high school, right? He prayed that God would make him be straight, which is really like I said, a lot of this is just terribly

sad stuff. It's just that they they all they wind up at the wrong conclusion in the end. Yeah. We also get his miraculous almost getting hurt hurt worst story. Oh my, are they reaching me? One time I cut my hand. And if it had been worse, I would never have played piano again. Yeah, man. If it had been in your eyeball, you would have been blinded. I don't know why. Do you really have that little to contribute? And then also this is an actual line from the movie. Someone helped me out here. He's talking about being gay in high school and trying to be Christian and shit.

And he says, and I quote, I was constantly seeking the Lord's forgiveness, you know, like a ping pong ball. I would fail. Yeah. Try to do better fail again. So I was constantly re-dedicating my life to the Lord. What the hell is he doing with these ping pong balls? That's not how you play this game, dude.

It's not. I mean, like that checked out for me. Like I got it. I got it. Tell you get into the back of the eagle. You got to that back. I can't. I can't. No. Can we talk about his grandmother living in a shed? Yes, yes. Okay, God damn it.

I have a bedroom in the house for my father-in-law, and that mother fucker voted for Trump. What the hell is wrong with this family that they can't gram out in this shed? It's garden shed with windows. It's terrifyingly small and by the way, we cut from her shed back to the parents and the dad's only comment about her is, yeah, my mom sucked at music. Yeah, right, right.

Okay, so he's walking through the field. He points to this tiny little shed and he says, grandma used to live out there and we're just like, what would she was bad? But no all the time and Then and apparently that's who taught him how to play piano It's just this movie like this whole section about his childhood and being in high school because we get like I'm not making it up. We get another round of stories of him fucking a bunch of dudes in high school. Yeah

But also everyone's making fun of him for being gay, but I guess, I don't know, it's the message of the story, like bullying works because he's not gay anymore. Yes. Like that, like bully the gay is it'll, you know, it'll make him not be like, I don't understand. This is depressing folks. It's so depressing. It's also mystifying because you have to remember that like he is hitting all these

points about being bullied for being gay and being self-hating for being gay But his conclusion is the problem was that I was gay Yes Right yes, the problem with the bigotry is that I was not like like a movie's alternate the movies alternate title for this could be it gets worse Yeah Yeah, just all the bullying it works alternate the movie's alternate title for this could be it gets worse. Yeah. Yeah. Just all the bullying. It works. You're going to keep getting bullied unless you stop. Yeah. So yeah. And of course, this is also we were we were interspersing this of course with him at that conference. And this is also where he out of the blue. And for no goddamn reason

says, Hey, look, here's a picture of me with my basketball team for black kids and me. I was pretty progressive. He had been progressive. But that was all that. That's the point where we get like, I was told I was an inward lover. An inward lover. Like an inward lover. So the town's racist as well.

Everyone around you, all your friends and family. Well, but but look, given his logic, I guess the problem is that those kids were black. Yeah, I really, I really, really wanted it to cut over to like an interview with some guy, some African American guy in white face being like, yeah, you know, Dennis really showed me the error. Reading the fuck out of the book of Mormon. He's like playing one of his songs at this point and he's like, oh my God, it still sounds the same. And I'm like, me and Dennis, that's how songs work.

That's what music. You don't change them. It's just going to keep sounding the same, Dennis. Oh, the song is so fucking bad. And he's telling us the story of when he wrote this song. And he's like, yeah, I just have this inspiration. And while everybody's praying, I wrote it all in that same morning. And I'm like, yeah, no, it, it, it sounds like that. You wrote it all in that one morning. So yeah, well, no one was looking. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So

we, I guess we've reached the point in the story where he's going to be successful with his music or something. I know, I remember that because mom tries to say successful here and that's a great three and a half minutes of this film. Brian the last three and a half minutes of the film. Seth, Seth, Seth, Paul, Safman, Fitz, Festival, my mother-in-law lived in a shack. I don't know what the fuck you're, you all have to understand. In Sopana, Oklahoma, no one has ever been successful. They've never had to use that word. You know what, that's the first, this is the first time they've ever been called upon to a person. So you've got to cut her some slack. Okay, no, that's fair.

That's fair. She's like, I knew he was good at his music, but I never dreamed he'd be live music night at Applebee's good. So then we we zoom in. Yeah, she's basically like, he's pretty good for a faggot. Yeah. Like that's like almost a direct quote. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.

Yeah. So and then we have to, so we have this little montage of like him being famous. I guess we zoom in on this old VHS tape of him playing for a sort of big audience because VHS tape is where you have to go for him playing for a sort of big audience. Oh, and all of this montage of fame is so fucking dark. It's like, oh, they literally passed over a plaque for him being a Dove Award nominee. Not winner. No, not You didn't do a nominee. Hey, do you know how many people the dov snub?

If you get snub by the dov, it's just the heartbreaking. This is, this is where are they now for somebody who is never here to begin with? They show is like, you know how like everybody out there like they're platinum albums on the wall or whatever. We see his scandium albums or whatever. It's like, no, you're allowed to spray paint whatever you want. They can't stop you. It's illegal. It's not legally protected like being adopted.

In this montage, we also see photos of him and people no one will recognize. Yeah, that's exactly the least famous newsboy or whatever the fuck. But just linger this is Billy Joel's Rody. Salmon Arby's. Oh shit. All right. Well, I guess now that we've seen the highs of his career, we can take a quick break

but we're back in a minute because this movie still has worse to get. And there we go. Hey, what are you doing? Ah, just making a butter sculpture. No, I see that you're doing that. I just meant why. Oh, I just want to be as good at something as Peroni is at making beer. What's Peroni?

Peroni is a refined beer with a distinctive crisp and refreshing taste and a balanced aroma. Well, I knew Italians made wine, but they made beer too. They sure do. Peroni is brewed in Italy using a meticulous brewing process and only the highest quality ingredients. Plus, they blend the finest hops with two-row spring-planted barley and carefully import the result to the US. Ah, that sounds fancy.

It is Noah, but it's also just amazing with a clean refreshing taste. It's the ideal beer to enjoy when you want to relax or, you know, make a butter statue. Okay, but where can I find it? Well, you can look for Peroni at your next happy hour or as the Italians call it, at Portivo. Find it in cans and bottles at your local grocery store and follow on Instagram at peroniUSA for people over the age of 21 only 2020 imported

by beer a peroni international Washington DC. Peroni Italia, whatever you do, do it beautifully. Your statue's mountain. I know, know it. I know. And so I was like, what? I can to fit a Pringle scan into my mouth. I don't know why you would ask, but do you tell that story a lot? No, I don't. What? Hey, there. Inward lover. You've been out loving some inwards. I'm sorry. What? Oh, you know what I mean. I mean a racial slur of a bad one.

That starts with an M. Right, no, but it just, it seems weird that you in this moment wouldn't use it. Ha! I bet you would love that wouldn't you. But you know what I mean by inward lover? The real bad words you're not supposed to say. No, I do, but just since you're bullying, I thought maybe it would be, well, you thought

wrong. See, I've read Tana Hashikot's. I found his arguments about the white use of the inward, incredibly convincing. So there. Oh, okay. We're gonna go. Yeah, you run away, you big J word F word. Okay.

And we're back for more of this shit. And this is the point in the film where he shows off his sweet, Mick Manchin. Oh, he said, like, first of all, it's a large, it's a, it's a, it's a fairly large home, not, you know, it certainly mansion is not the right word, but it's a large house. He starts talking about like, yeah, when I first bought this house, we gave a free concert. It was so cool. 4,000 people showed up and we're on this hill, but then like, he shows us a picture now. The, the, the rows are about 30 chairs across. There's about 18 rows, not all of those chairs are full unless there were seven other separate, separated seating areas like that one. No, they're fucking wasn't to. There's like 235 people. Don't get me wrong. There's a lot

of people that have in your front fucking yard, but it ate't four thousand. The concert was called The Night of Praise under a thousand stars. Every picture he shows us looks like it took place around 4.30 pm. Like it's all bright daylight out. Everyone's in lawn chairs. They're all seeing out. Yeah. It's the night of pray. First of all, a thousand stars seems kind of low.

Exactly. Exactly. But it's the night of the first. Under a thought like if he's accurate, there were four times as many people there as there were stars. So we need four people for every star in the night sky. It was just like, I'm like, I'm like,

that's not a night you're showing us. That's mid afternoon. Yep. And that is also not 4,000 people you're showing us. That's 236. Yeah. And he starts talking about how like, he's like, I prefer to do a home ministry. My house is like a big church because that way I don't have to pay taxes on it. This is all a fucking tax shelter thing. And he's fucking bragging about it as though that makes him a good person. Yeah, we also get shots of his home ministry here, and it is a karaoke home ministry complete with slide projector. It's pretty dark. Yep. Well, so here's the thing. And this is

where we're gonna like're going to be serious for a moment. I think he might actually not be gay anymore because of the upholstery decisions he made before. That's a solid point. I think there is a solid case to be made that like, hey, look, look, let's take a look at ourselves for a moment. We're very sure in our convictions, but we need to keep an open mind. Maybe he's not gay anymore. His furniture is appalling. That's fair. Well, I love there's the sad sad moment

where he's like, he's talking about how he has so many fans. He was so overwhelmed with how many people wanted to meet him. So he decided to meet them in his living room. And I'm like, that's the lowest level of people wanting to meet you, right? Like I could meet them all in my living room is where you start. We're all there. I was inspired by his decision to bring a bunch of repressed gay people into his home. And they can stay there as long as they want. If they want to sleep in his bed, that's okay too. And they can all sing together and not be gay together. It's a truly beautiful arrangement of just like,

yeah, you're having trouble not sleeping with men. I am too. Why don't you come over and stay at my house? Yeah, I say. I can only we can have trouble not sleeping with men together. All right, so yeah. And by the way, his whole ministry, which is him sitting around with like nine other people doing karaoke off of his TV. He's got a microphone for that. He is miked for his own goddamn living room. How fucking arrogant is that? Oh, it's fucking dark.

This is also where he gives us his sales pitch, right? And this is his whole angle on the conversion therapy thing is we don't tell people they're evil, we tell them they're broken. Yep. Yeah. So it's better. I just introduced them to Jesus because Jesus is a better savior than I'll ever be, but like I'm a pretty good savior too. Yeah, I had in my notes. I'm like a therapist who only prescribes Jesus. Yeah, exactly. It has no education. And now we meet another victim who's been condemned by Dennis's religion to never know

love without guilt. His name is Eli. Yeah. Eli Bernard. And yes, this is my secret origin story. I'm finally glad we can get it out here on the podcast. He says, yeah, I was a big fan of him and I'd heard his story about struggling

with what and have sex with guys. So I got in touch with him and I figured, you know, he's a big star. He would probably be busy and have nothing better to do. But man, he called me right after that, could not get him to get off the goddamn phone, be honest with it, turns out having written some moderately popular songs in an unpopular genre

decades ago isn't an activity that you continue to do. It's something that you did once. So yeah, I mean, he's literally like, I cannot believe that this older repressed gay man would want to speak to me, a young man who is also struggling with being gay. Like who could imagine that man would want to speak to me, a young man who is also struggling with being gay. Like who could imagine that he would want to talk to you and invite me over to his home and stay in his bedroom?

Like I was floored by such the idea. Well, and he goes, he starts like giving us a little bit of his philosophy on how to de gay people here. He's like, you know, it's not enough to tell gay people that they're going to hell. You have to do more than that. I'm like, how about less? Could you also do less than that? Yes. She's so fucking sad because we watch all these people like avoiding a fictional hell by living in a real one. Well, I want to be clear here. I think I'm 100% sure Eli is pranking

this guy that he is 100% still sucking dick. Like the entire time he's giving interviews, he's got a big smile on his face. And he's just like basically winking at the camera. I'm like, I'm like, you're still sucking dick. Like that's, I also, this is a prank. It's also amazing because like this is obviously this is for Christian audiences and they have to be like super euphemistic every time they're talking about anything gay, you know, so they'll just say and I was spending time with gentlemen or whatever every time it's it that can become a fun little drinking game all on its own like every you know drink every time that they mean to say dick, but they can't say dick. Right? You'd get pretty drunk.

Oh, and by the way, if you need to make this story just a little bit sadder for you, this is also the part where he talks about when he was in college. And he found out that like they told him he wasn't good enough to major in music composition and pot of water, me community college and stump removal service or whatever it was To be fair. He walked into that he walked in there and he was like hey I

Don't read music. I can't write music. I would like to major in music I'm the Dean We have a limited number of slots at our fake school We have a limited number of slots at our fake school. We can't just let anybody major in music. Come back to us if you learn music. It was Oklahoma Baptist University. He went to the... Yeah, Oklahoma Baptist. He didn't rise to the standard of Oklahoma Baptist University's music composition program.

So I don't know anything about Oklahoma Baptist University. Is that a thing that you all know about? No, no, no. No, no. I just saw in your notes you all were like, oh, that's a fake school. I was like, oh, is this a famous fake school? Well, I mean, anything that's Baptist University

ain't a legitimate school. But yeah. You don't put Baptist in front of the school word because you're crushing it. Yeah. Fair. Stinough of OBU had an reputation. So then he starts talking to us about his experiences with contemporary Christian music. He's like, yeah, the people I really like to people that you've heard of even less than me.

Honestly, Keith Green, does that ring up? No, Keith Green. Keith Green. To be fair, I'd fuck Keith Green. So I show a picture. Oh, what a he. They show a picture of Keith Green and I'm like, he looks enough like that dude from Fly to the Concord, is that like...

That dude. He's cute. He also talks about second chapter of Acts, which I have written down, looks like Hanson's all female stunt team. Boom. That's a Hanson bird. Hey, you guys remember Hanson? Hey, how old is your listener base? Do they remember Hanson? Is that a thing they're going to have to Google? That's a percentage reference. Topical. Thank you. Thank you. Someone will get it one or two long tail marketing

And Basically, he talks about how he's he's listening to second chapter of acts and he hears their song that might as well be called I don't have to deal with anything I did and he was like oh shit. I want a piece of that Yeah Right, right exactly. I said I was sorry to myself in my head. So everyone that I've wronged forgives me now. Yeah. Uh-huh. But he also, like, but also, like again, super fucking dark right underneath the surface

of this. He talks about the trauma. Hove is artificially implanted, self-hatred driving him to the brink of suicide as well. Yeah. Right here. Which like, here's the thing. I had always heard and correct me if I'm wrong. That like suicide was the one sin you could never be forgiven for

because you die before you could ask forgiveness. I've heard the same. So like, so like if you're like, oh no, I'm gay, I'm so sinful, I should kill, like I feel like it's like, like you're surrendering to hell if you just kill yourself. Like, I feel like that's the only wrong decision. Yeah, right. Like you could ask God's forgiveness between thrusts, really.

I mean, at one point he did it, when I earlier in the movie he was talking about like, like during that ping pong ball, shit, he was like, I would fuck a dude and then I'd go to church on Sunday and pray on my knees and ask for forgiveness. And I'd fuck a dude and go to my, and I'd be the first one of the altar praying for forgiveness and everybody in town Was like why is Dennis always there first and I'm like they know Dennis

They weren't really But like clearly he was already doing that right yeah He already had that fucking loophole figured out like I keep he'd solve that brain twist or he like he found the Konami code to God. Yeah. So. And then okay, so he takes us in a little tour of the music department of O.B.U. And I love he's like, it was real hard to act like I was straight as a music major in this college.

Anyway, here's where I did glee club. You see our little uniforms. Yeah, he joined a glee club and put on a blue tuxedo with a frilly shirt so that people wouldn't think he was gay. Yeah, exactly. But also in case you hadn't noticed, this is literally devolved into this one time at Bandcamp The Movie. It sure has.

Right sure has. But guys, we get to meet Chuck now. This is where we meet Chuck. This is where we meet Chuck. And I cannot begin to express what an enormous fan of Chuck I am. Chuck looks like Guy Fieri. Yeah, okay. Right?

Chuck. Chuck looks like he took Dennis to Flavor Town. Yeah. There's no question they visited Flavor Town together at one point. Chuck's got the frosted tips. He's got the goatee. He's a Chuck. This is also where we meet Maureen, spoiler alert.

She's going to be more important than she is in this section of the movie. But Linda, Melissa, what was her name? Right. Melinda? Melinda, yeah. And he introduces her by saying, and I'm not joking. This is literally what he says about her. He's like, I remember thinking, man, if I could get a boner with a lady, I would totally

marry her. Yeah, no, he said he didn't want to marry Melinda. He wanted to want to marry Melinda. He literally said, wow, if only I could be aroused by her. Yeah, yeah. That was the exact goddamn wording. Yes, which is bizarre of a way to just think about a person. If only I could be aroused by you.

Yeah. And then he's just talking about all the gay sex he was having in college, right? And which again, we're still in Oklahoma. Yeah, what is happening? Baptist community college or whatever. And he's like, gay're still in Oklahoma. Yeah, what is happening? Baptist community college or whatever. And he's like, gay fuck fest every night. We have the orgies over at the door. Like it's insanity.

Right, like at some point, like, this is just a movie where he's bragging about how much dick he used to get, right? I had Grindr in college and was not having as much luck finding gay men as he was like they were around every corner. It's insanity. Oh Jesus. Okay. So we cut back to where at his little conference or wherever he's sermening and he's talking about meeting a leader in the Christian community. He thought he was a really good guy and he would take him out for

a coke and now and again. Yeah, it sounds like a date. Yeah, right, right. Well, and then like, okay, so he says like, and so finally I told him that I struggled with same sex attraction. And then he like came on to me, made a sexual advance and the entire audience gasps, right? But like, why? I'm like, to be fair, you were on a date. Yeah. You were dating this guy.

And you just told him that you were gay. Right? Yeah. Okay, so here's how it goes. Hey, man, you want to go out for a coke? Yes, I'd like to go out for a coke. I should probably tell you I'm gay. Me too, would you like to do gay stuff?

No, thank you. Gash. Well, more importantly, like, he talks about how disgusted he is and like you picturing him running through the rain, sobbing at the betrayal. And that guy just sitting at the diner being like, okay, what the fuck did I miss? And this is especially crazy because up until this point, he's admitted fucking like every dude in Oklahoma. Right.

Like he is like sucked in fuckt his way through the Midwest and then a guy makes a pass at him and he freaks the fuck out. Right, how did all this other sex come about? Like what about this was different? Yeah. Yeah, but at any rate, but no, he wasn't going to be gay. That gentleman. And then he goes and he visits his old college apartment because they

couldn't think of other places for him to go at this point. Yep. And he talks about, and again, this, I don't doubt this for a second about how he considers suicide because he figured his parents would be sad or if he was gay, then if he was dead. Right. Flashcut to his parents being like, oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. That checks out that checks out. Yeah. And he gets so, like, oh, yeah, for sure. Way better about gay than doing that. Check out that checks out. Yeah. And he gets so, like, he gets so tantalizingly close to correct. He says, like, and I realized at a certain point, I was just born this way.

And this was how it was meant to be. But don't worry, Christians. It's act two. He's still going to think better of that, right? Yep. Yeah. Is where we say he talks about the boy Freddie had in college that, that like convinced him to actually say the words out loud. I'm gay. So this boyfriend sounds wonderful.

Yeah. Yeah. He's like dating this guy like he's like I'm happy with this guy. He's like I think he literally says like I was happy Everything was going well, and I'm in bed with this guy. He's like say the words. You're gay and I'm like That's what a healthy relationship would ask you to do like be acknowledged of your situation and he's like, say the words, you're gay. And I'm like, that's what a healthy relationship would ask you to do, like, be acknowledged of your situation. And then he just is like, no, Satan and like dives out the window. This is the only nice person in his entire memory. This is the point in the movie where like, because up until now, like, you

can really, you know, you can really feel something that I can feel relatable to this guy of this, like, he's been brought up thinking this one thing like he's like he's been taught over and over. He talks earlier in the movie about standing outside the church and over here in the adult men talk about homosexuals and how terrible they are and him recognizing that within himself and that that just kind of tears him apart that he it's like the moment he realized like these men of God are essentially speaking gods wisdom or gods words about me To me now in this moment and it just sets them off on this like course of Something is broken within me something's wrong and he's working and he's working in he and he's he's Finding these experimentation with guys and he's fucking all of these homosexuals roaming around Oklahoma There's a lot of them. And there's a lot of them. It's honestly, it kind of seems to be a problem.

I'm a little bit on the movie side. But then he comes to this point where like he's kind of like acknowledged that he's gay and he has this boyfriend and this boyfriend just wants him to. And at this point, when he just rejects at and it's like, nope, I've got to turn my word, you know, got to devote my life to doing the opposite of this thing that makes me happy. That's when like he loses his sympathy. That's when he like crosses that Rubicon and becomes something darker and worse.

And it's like from this point on, it's like, right, right. Exactly. No, this could be a happy story. If it ended here and him and that gentleman got married together or like went off and lived happily ever after or whatever. But no, this movie's just getting ramped up. He could not shed his self-loathing so he broke up with that guy. Right, and he's telling this story in his little fucking conference or whatever and he's like, they call it love, but it was nothing but being used.

It was selfish. And I'm like, first of all, no, secondly, no. And those are two opposite things being used and selfish stuff. Yeah, he never explains how he was being used. Like he's like looking at this audience, he goes, I thought I was in love, but I was just being used. And I'm like, how are you being used? It sounded like you were in a good relationship.

It sounded like he was looking out for you. You know, the one thing if the relationship was just like, you wanted more and he was just using you for sex because he had his own problems. But he sounded like, it sounded like you were using him for sex. It sounded like you were the one using someone. Right. Yeah. This guy's a piece of shit. But yeah, but then he's like, he's complaining about how he cared more about his own happiness than that of a mythical undead carpenter. So he decided to go into the ministry. Yep. So then this is when we get the phone call from Chuck.

Yeah. All right. So, so you now you don't know about this one, Patrick. I have to explain this because he gets a phone call from Chuck and Chuck's like, I have to tell you about my dream. Now we have had a long standing thing on this show that the only person required to listen to your dreams is the person fucking you.

So if somebody tells you about your dream, they have to fuck you. The fact that you're called Dennis to tell them about his dream tells us everything we need to know about these, these guys relationship here. Oh, like I was seriously shipping Chuck and Dennis throughout this movie. Like I just want the best for them. I want them to be happy together. I want them to move to Vermont and open a bread and breakfast. Like, like, what they have is special.

And well, okay, so Chuck dreamed that Dennis was going to be moderately famous-ish. Yeah. You're going to be a star. No. I had visions of you performing at the Ramada and 2pm. What if I told you that you would accompany unlimited soup salad and bread sticks. Hear me out. But hey, but hey, it is miraculous.

Chuck's mom also had that dream that Dennis got moderately famous. This is where this is where the fan fiction took a turn. Chuck living with his mom wakes up, tells his mom this dream and the mom's like, yeah, I also had that dream son. Do they talk about their dreams every morning at breakfast? Like what the fuck is happening? Well, also, you got to keep in mind here that the narrative that Dennis is setting up for us is that he was torn between homosexuality and living in his friends basement, making gospel music. Well, right, right. So yeah, the end of this is that he moves in with Chuck,

whose home address he gives us by the way, which is very strange. Send and check. Yeah, he just announces Yeah, I think he literally says, he says, I was getting calls from two different directions from homosexuality on one end and from Chuck on the other. I think the calls coming from inside the house. I think it's the same fucking call there, Dennis. I don't think those are two different lives. I was just saying, well, this way pulled that way. Chuck pulled me really hard. Yeah. And also by the way, like what you just, you get the impression that this all comes from

a conversation that Chuck and Dennis had before the documentary where Dennis was like, no, no, I promise everybody. I will set you up as the opposite of gayness, right? I'll even say, I, I one hand I had gayness on the other hand I had Chuck right no one I have no Chuck with the frosted tip who lives with his mom. Oh Jesus and okay so and just to give you an idea of the level of self-loathing in this guy at this point Dennis starts telling us about how he was in the same league of sin as David, the biblical David, right? The guy who raped a lady that he was spying on into bath and then had her husband killed so she wouldn't tell on him. Yep, right? Yep. You lick Chuck's balls. Right. That's not like to quote Samuel Jackson. That's not even the same fucking sport. Yep,

it is a very weird comparison to make. Also, like his point is like, I mean, everyone remembered Dave for the not murdery parts, right? No, we don't. We remember him for the murdery parts. You thought of the murdery parts right away. Wait, did you just call him Dave? Yeah, you're on a first name basis with King David of the Bible. Yeah. When you've read it as many times as we have, we're tightly. So you have to understand that this movie opens with a quote from Zephy. Yeah. The Zephyr, as I call it.

Yeah. So then one night Chuck who loves the pussy, by the way, confronted Dennis about his gainess. Yeah. Lucy by the way, confronted Dennis about his gainess. Yeah, he was like Chuck confronted me and I'm like, go on. I'm like starting to like get the lotion out. Yeah, right. He said, I put it on the light. I'm like, go on, he can free like cornered you and what happened next.

So then he's so Chuck found out he was gay and this is how he tells the story. He ran out of the room and then Chuck said, you know, I want to help you. I don't know how to help you, but I know the answer. I'm like, you were running out of the fucking room. Was he running behind you screaming it? Logistically, this makes no fucking sense. No, it's because you're not gay.

You have to picture this. You have to picture this as like the notebook. Like this is, it's raining outside. Chuck comes up to Dennis and this as like the notebook. Like this is it's raining outside. Chuck comes up to Dennis and he's like, Dennis, I know. And Dennis is like, no, when he runs out and it's pouring down the rain and Chuck runs after him and he turns around the rain in their face to face. And he's like, Dennis, I don't know how to help you. I only know how to love you. And then they just passionately. Yep. Like that's what happened. Like that's the story. Oh, so much better movie, such a better

movie. Well, right. Cause then at this point, it's like, and Chuck told me, he says, you know, he wanted to be right there for me. Anytime I ever felt tempted to sin again, he would be right there Yeah, give me a just call me up anytime you feel like Talk to do call me immediately like I'm your guy if you ever think that you're in danger of sucking a penis I want to be there in the room with you It's like I want to be closer to you than a brother Literally so like a boyfriend. Yeah, that's a line. It's like walk want to be closer to using a brother. He says that literally. So like a boyfriend. Yeah, that's a lie. He's like walk with me towards Jesus.

You know, walk with me, you're a boyfriend. Yeah, it's Jesus. Yes. I just want to let Dennis and Chuck fuck. Like that's all they want to do. Amen, brother. Amen, well I'll tell you what, we're going to pause for a minute to start

to let Dennis and Chuck fuck petition at moveon.org. So we're going to need a quick break. But first, let me give it back to you the hard sell here. Will Dennis and Chuck cut the sexual tension and fuck already? Who the hell do they think they're fooling? Is it them? They think they're fooling or us? I know the answers to different questions and less. We'll return for the putting the sad and sadistic conclusion of, sing over me. So yeah, man, if you like ever need anything, just let me know. Thank you so much. Yeah, because I know how hard it can be when you're struggling with the game of sexuality.

So yeah, just call me anytime, day or night. Honestly, especially night if you want to call me. My gosh, you're such a special friend. Mmm, yes I am. So my wife, just to be clear, she goes to bed at around 12. So pretty much wide open after that for any help you need. Any help at all. Just, I'll tell you what, what if tonight, after my wife goes to sleep,

and your wife goes to sleep, we pray together? That sounds great. I am not gay anymore. Yeah, apparently not. What? Nothing. It's good for you. And we're back for more of this shit. And we're going to rejoin the action midway through his gig at the fucking Ramada. And this time he's telling us about the time that his Christianity kicked in. I never get this fucking story, right? This is the story that Christians always tell about the time they turned Christian, but they were already Christian then, right? Because it always happens when they were at church or at some Christian concert. But this is the moment that Jesus made it official. He consummated his relationship with Christ.

Especially in this movie where he is just constantly seeking Jesus and talking about it. And then I really doubled down on Jesus. And then I tripled down on Jesus. And then I tripled down on Jesus. Yeah. And then he's just like, yeah, some lady said, the Holy Spirit just told me that someone in this room of 4,500 people has a secret, it's you. Just doing a little light cold reading.

Yeah, right, right. So he was bootlegging an album at a Christian concert which by the way is the weirdest circle of hell if you Like that's not a joke. He when he's telling the stories like I bootled in bootlegging is a sin and it is wrong It's like right up there. It's like my sins I bootlegged and I fucked every guy in western there. It's like my sins. I bootlegged and I fucked every guy in Western. Those are my two cents. Also, there's a high school problem in here later. So please don't leave your trash on the floor. They have to do a quick turn. It's 4 30 in the afternoon.

We only have the room till five. Yeah. okay. And so like, yeah, he's watching this concert in middle of the concert, the singer stops and she's like, Hey, what are you? Is gay? Stop it. And she has this whole big thing where he starts talking about like, you know, she says, imagine it's like Christmas day and the gift that you got, Jesus is all your sin and a box and you give it away and you don't have it anymore. And Jesus gives you a gift too, salvation. Right, that was the big moment from that, did it for him. Yeah, like Dennis was like, I needed to learn that I had to give and receive.

And I'm like, buddy, that's what Chuck's been trying to tell you. You've got to give and receive. It's a two way street. Yeah, and he's, he's, he's hearing this is like, give Jesus your gainus as a Christmas gift and I really wanted to see that happen. A Happy Birthday, Jesus. You guys, you shouldn't have really.

Oh, go on, go on, open it. It's, it's's it's my gayness Oh Cool yeah, yeah, I gave it to you like the lady at the concert said oh yeah cool that's um That's great You you don't like it. No, no, no, it's great. I love it. Where'd you get it? From you, I think.

So it's kind of like a regift, if you think about it. Yeah, I guess so. You can return it if you want. To you? Please don't. Not to me, though. Open my next. Can I ask, is it your sexuality?

No. It's your sexuality. It is. And then he was Christian or where he was already Christian, but now it now is Christianity counted. Who the fuck knows? Yeah. Is this where he says like, I don't want the gay community to define me?

Yes. Yeah. Which like for the record, I don't let the gay community to find me either. They're like weirdos like don't. Yeah. I don't let them define me like this. But so what he's talking about here though is that he's like, you know, the gay community tried to define me

because my boyfriend asked me to say the words, you're, I'm gay at one point after we just did a bunch of gay stuff, right? So, and now he has recast that as the gay community trying to define him. And I'm like, no, the gay community trying to define him. I'm like, no, the gay community trying to define you is when they're like bear, otter. Other animals.

Like every day, they're like, you a giraffe, like what's your deal? And I'm like, I can't do that either. Like I'm with him on that point. Yeah, the hanky code is confusing. I get it. It's so many colors and folds. I guarantee you though that what the gay community told him was,

be yourself and he's like, no, right? Yeah. Again, just to be clear, it's like that fucking opening pilot of the adventure zone where it's like believe in yourself, Dennis, never. Yeah, right. Also, I just want to point out that at the height of this moment in the movie, he's like singing a very emotional song.

And apparently he was doing it very flatly because Anna walked in the room and began to yell the correct notes at the television. Oh, I'm so glad you're that because like what I wrote my notes right there was the worst part is this song is probably supposed to sound like that. But it wasn't. Oh, yes. It's just like, like that whole speech was weird because it was like, I'm gay because I'm just tempted like Jesus.

You know, Jesus tempted, I was tempted like Jesus, like Jesus tempted with fucking dudes. Yeah, I missed that part in the desert. Well, Jesus was, he went through all the temptations apparently. Yeah, I really want to watch them making it through that list. Yeah, every temptation, really, everyone. Okay, Jesus, what about finishing the juice? I'm sorry, finishing the juice, Satan? Yeah, you know when there's like half a glass of juice left, so you want to just like,

ah, I should just finish this. Uh, no? Okay, good, resisted. Uh, next up, signing up for a free trial and then canceling. Really, is that... I mean, it's a free trial, is that bad? I mean, it's a temptation. It's not necessarily bad. We just got to get through literally all of them, so... for free trial. Yeah, sure, fine. No.

All right, resisted. great no on the free trials and canceling got it. Yeah yeah the exhaustive list on that was one of this thing oh minute and then God made him straight. Oh did God give me a boner? Hell yeah, God gave me a boner. He's like, when the Lord began to change me, I began to wonder, are you changing me in every area of my life, Father?

Like, can I teleport? Am I Hispanic now? I don't know how this is all work. He has a little conversation where he's like, so I said to God, like, wait, I'm changed now, like all the way and God's like, yeah, man, what do you think we're doing here? I'm doing it all and I'm like, man,

God sounds rad as hell. Like, like God sounds pretty chill. Yeah, he's like, so, hey, Jesus, sir, are you taking away the parts where I get turned on by when they could do? And he's like, yeah, man, Jesus, sir, are you taking away the parts where I get turned on by naked dudes? And he's like, yeah, man, who thought made you think that who made you love the naked dudes to begin with me, right? It's all me. I built you up. I'll tear you down. I built you back up, man. Yeah. Exactly.

We're gonna go smoke at your head. There's some keg stands at the end of this conversation or something. Um, and then, and then he's like, and then I got to marry a woman. So my thought I'd never do because you know how you can drink alcohol, if you do it real quick, and if you do it slow. That's how I'm at. And also, this is where she, she does her struggles, which were really, really exciting until she reveals them to us, which is a big bummer. So first of all, wait, we have to tell who the wife is. We haven't said who the wife is. Oh, yes, we have. Yeah, obviously. It's a surprise. It's Melinda, the girl that he wished that he could be aroused by back in college. The only woman we've been introduced

to. Yes, exactly. The only female in the movie except for fucking Marisa. You know, this wife, yeah. Oh, and the mom and the mom. Oh, yeah, man, it's mom. Yeah. Where's that Disney cartoon? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. We get, she's like, you know, we each had a past. I had my darkness and he had his and I was like, okay,

here's this fucking dudes. I want to know what Marines were because she was talking about it real, real sketchily. It was funny because she was like, we were about to get married. And we did not tell each other our past because he had struggles. And I've had struggles and I'm like,

whoa Melissa, you okay, all right. Yeah, what did she do? I don't know why I'm asking. No, you have to read between the lines because what she said was, on our wedding day, he made me feel like a spotless bride. And I'm like, oh, so your, your struggle was you fucked a guy? Like Dennis fucked 40 guys.

Yeah. Like it's not quite a day in his real Christian college. Oh, okay, because I was not asked what the hell was the spotless bride thing? Yeah, that's, that's how she like she wasn't spotless. And I thought he made her feel like. That was her dark secret, like her dark secret. That was her bright thing. Yeah, that's, that's hard like she wasn't spotless. And I thought he made her feel. That was a dark secret like her dark secret. That was just secret. The same as his.

Yeah, they both fucked 40 guys. Yeah, right. What? She blew a minor league baseball team. Yeah, also Patrick, I'm just saying, if you did not tell your husband, I see you as a spotless bride at your wedding. You wasted a wedding. I know.

To be fair, he was spotless bride at your wedding. You wasted a wedding. I know. To be fair, he was spotless. We had both of the suits dry claimed. Now after the wedding, there were some spots. So okay, so now we watch him and his wife eat. Then they argue about where and when they first kiss. So you know it was crazy memorable. Okay, wait, they are in the middle of an argument about their first kiss when someone,

the only word for this is, slaps down their KFC famous balls in front of the, just, I remember him telling me, Blam, here's your fucking food. So you know at least he still tips like a Christian. Yeah, right. Uh, this is, it's such a weird conversation because like, they talk about the first kiss and then they kind of cut to like, just Melissa or Melinda or whatever we said her name was.

She's like, oh, does he get aroused? He gets aroused. And on his end, he's got no complaints. And I'm like, he's got complaints. Yeah, right. The chief of mongrel is that you don't have a penis. Well, exactly. Well, again, it's so you're so

you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're was terrified of her vagina, but turns out I love the pussy. I've loved it the whole time. Just didn't realize it until just then. And she's like, yeah, no, his penis is entirely

adequate. Someone comes in and whispers in his ear and he's like, I have just been informed that bisexuality exists. Fuck. Fuck everybody. I thought if you could do the one you eliminated the other, I don't even know if that's what's going on here like. Uh-uh. This is, he's gay. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. He admitted he wasn't aroused by women. He like, you can make yourself get in a reaction. I've done it. Yeah. I know you. That's pretty much her testimonial.

You can make yourself get in a reaction. So with them like saying, that's a subtitle to the movie. Sing over me. You can make yourself get in a subtitle to the movie. Sing over me. You could make Your subject Oh Yes, there it wears our gay conversion program. We could make billions and again them talking about the goodness of their sex I again, there's no amount of money I wouldn't give to charity. Just be like yeah describe the great sex

Go on Melinda. Just give me a give me those sweet sweet sweet dates because she'd be like, oh man, it's like a, ooh boy, ever, you ever quit mini golf in a rage. It's just like that. Boy, do I, numbers, that's a spicy make-up. Guys, they have nine kids. Yes, yes, they're nine children And he even says now to those people who say I only have nine kids to prove that I've had sex with my wife almost Double digit number of times. That's why would anyone even say that? It's weird that I would bring that up in my movie. Yes

Crazy and he also says this moment where he has to like, he has to tell his wife about his shorted past, right? And he's like, you know, when I took her to the side and I said, honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but I used to be gay. And you know what? She knew she had guessed it. She's like, yeah, you're very obviously gay even now when we're having, you know, the mechanical hate sex nine times.

You're cell phone numbers written on a lot of bathroom stalls, huh? I got it. The way she brings it up is like he's talking about how like how this is weighing on him because like she knows he has a secret, but he's never told her and it's just he's in bondage and I'm like, you wish you were in bondage. Yeah. She's like, he's like, I've got to tell my wife, I've got to tell my wife. And she says, I was so nervous because I was like, what could he possibly tell me? And then she's like, you fucked half of Oklahoma.

That's it. That's it. The men have faith. Yeah, me too. Like, she's literally like, she's like, what? Oh, that's it. You just gay and you fucked a bunch of dudes? Who cares?

I'm like, you took it remarkably well. She's like, look, we should compare lists. Yeah, they have the same guys. Wow. Speed from South Bend. Yeah, that guy just fucks. Yeah, that guy just fucks. Good for him.

Steve. I just like, those nine kids are going gonna watch this documentary and know that they're dead. Fucked his way through Oklahoma. Yeah. Like all the first half of the documentary is like he's not just being like, I'm gay. He's like, I was sleeping with a lot of dudes. Like a lot of dudes.

I'm like, your kids are gonna watch this. Well, he, he touches on it, too, because he's like, oh, now it was time to tell my son I used to be gay. And I remember my son said to me, that's great, dad. That's cool. Good. No, I don't think you're getting the picture. I was very gay. No, no, I get it, dad. That's fine. No, but like really. Yeah. Look at how many notches there are in this. I'm going to lower myself down on this pineapple son and I want you to imagine that this

is the state of Oklahoma. Please, no, please let me leave now. Well, and then we see all these like home movies as if to say like, look at all these family memories that gain is trying to rob him. And we're here in this Christian song in the background. This these family memories that gain is trying to rob him. And we're here in this Christian song in the background. This is the one that I wrote down the lyrics for. This is this guy's fucking job, all right?

To write shit like, Lord, thank you, thank you, Lord, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for loving and setting me free. Thank you for giving your life just for me. How I thank you, Jesus, Jesus I thank you. His job is to write that. Yeah. Which, which it seems like he has like a hot key for Jesus and thank you and Lord and

he just lets the cat walk and forth across it and he's the famous singer. Yes. Oh, it's so fucking bad. Again, free and me. It's all like that. Also, she went out there at Patrick just to confirm when you got gay married, your family did disappear like back to the future, right? That is what happened. You can't be gay and have a family, right? Everyone vanished from the photos. Yes. Okay. Good. I was just checking because otherwise, we call it a post-birth abortion. Oh, good to know. Good to know because otherwise that weird montage of his family videos is weirdly manipulative and insane. But yeah, since it's real, since

you post birth abortion, your whole family, when you gay, then yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and this, and he has this whole conversation where he talks about like, it was very important to me that I instill all of this hatred and bigotry that's crippled my happiness early and often in my children, right? He's like, it was most important to tell my old son, because he was the gayest of my kids. I guess I don't know why that was so most important. That is what is truly astonishing to me about this movie. This guy spins the first,

you know, three hours of this hour and 18-minute movie. Yeah. Talking about how as a child hearing these things was so incredibly hurtful to him. It made him feel scared and alone. It made him feel like everyone hated him, that God hated him, that he was this aberration upon the face of the earth. And it just tore him up inside. He'd hide underneath the blankets on his bed. And he grows up and decides, I got to do that to my kids. Like that's insane to me. Like that's like, like, that's cruel. Oh, absolutely, look, right, like, I know how damaging this is, and I'm doing it, and-

I'm excited to do it. Yeah, and I make my- This has been like, if I was abused as a child by a podcast, and I was like, all right, let's get this fucker started. Yeah, I'm up. Right, yeah, yeah, exactly. Not only am I reinforcing this with my children, but I'm reinforcing it with my music. I'm making a movie about it. I go off and I do concerts where I sell this fucking idea yeah

Yeah, like I said victim and victimizer throughout this movie. It's real hard to know where to put your sympathy Jesus and then we have again this like Fane bullshit minor ass effort at a miracle. Remember this is a part where he's talking about like a and then there was this old lady that told me my grandma always used to stand behind me when I played piano and she would pray that I'd become moderately famous and not gay anymore or whatever. What's funny to me is that the woman, the woman who says this to him, just he describes as his grandmother's prayer partner

Which if I know anything about Oklahoma at this point in the movie. It's that prayer partner was probably like a love One of many that grandma had The image of this lie is ridiculous, right? You didn't notice an old lady standing behind him, muttering to herself for three hours a day for years. How much room was in the shed? Not any, we saw the shed.

That's why we had to put the piano out in the field, God damn it. Oh, this is ridiculous. Oh, when he tells his parents, like this is ridiculous too, because he like sits his parents down and he's like, I had to tell them that I'm gay and it's like, I just imagine like Mary Pat and Frank or whatever their names are sitting there on the couch and he's like, mom, dad, I'm gay,

but really gay, like I dad, I'm gay, but really gay. Like, I fucked a lot of guys, but not anymore. I'm done. And them just being like, okay. You know what? Something tells me, I'm just, you know, I hate to like, let his look defying him, but something tells me that is not what dad's reaction was. I'm just like, I don't want my mom and dad

to listen to this podcast. I can't imagine sitting them down to be like, this is what I do in bed. You see? Yeah, because no one should do that. Only Christianity could create a moment where you think it's a worth talking about in your documentary where you sat down

and talked about your sex life to your parents. Hahaha. Do you think his wife was there for this? Yeah, all right. Bet you. Absolutely. I bet all nine of his kids were. Hahaha. So, all right, so just when you thought,

maybe this was all fucking over and we could just go home No, we go back to the goddamn field piano, right? Yep, where he starts talking about like how Jesus is so great that even in the quote depravity of his homosexuality Jesus never gave up on him He's also gonna hedge his bets here and be like, hey, you know people tell me all the time He's also gonna hedge his bets here and be like, Hey, you know, people tell me all the time here when you've probably stopped watching the documentary

how damaging and dangerous my message is and how easily Googleable the statistics about suicide among people who attend conversion therapy are. But no. Yeah, right, right. He's like, you know, some people tell me my message is terribly damaging, but then I pretend I didn't say the things I said earlier in this movie and I sleep at night just fine.

Yeah. Right, because the defense that he tries to construct for himself is, I'm not trying to tell anyone what they need to do. I'm telling them what I felt like I needed to do. And in so doing, I'm defining their love as depravity and telling them that God thinks that they're worse than murder or rapists. But I'm not telling them what to do. their love is depravity and telling the God thinks that they're worse than murder or rapists, but I'm not telling them what to do. I'm not telling anyone that they don't have to be anything. I'm just saying they don't have to be gay. Yeah, right.

Right. He also compares being gay to being hit by a car. Yep. Yeah, right. No, if my kid, yeah, he gives the whole like, if I saw somebody about to step out in the street and get hit by a car, I would be negligent not to stop them, right? Just like fucking Ray Comforts, lesbian elevator analogy or whatever. Yeah. No, he's not trying to tell you that what to do with your life, he's just trying to tell you that

it's dumb and dangerous and stupid and evil is all. I was hit by a gay car. Guys, what do you think is the gayest car? Oh, it's obviously the Prius. No, there's a correct answer. No, it's not the Prius. It's not the VW bug. See that is the correct answer. A lot of people get tripped up and say the Oscar by a rener mobile. But that's wrong. That's homophobic. The correct answer is the VW bug. There we

go. Have see. I knew we'd find eventually. All right. So and yeah, it's, so we has this long moment where he's like, you know, look, I know that this story is basically hate speech, but I'm going to tell it anyway. He even uses the word, right? He says, you know, there's some people who would probably accuse might say my story was hate speech. Can you imagine that? And I'm like, yeah, yep, sure can't you? You brought it up, actually, because you've admitted that hearing it leads people to the brink of suicide. Yep. This is also where we get Eli presenting his picture. I'm gonna pour a little Eli. That's just going up on the fridge, isn't it? Eli painted a picture.

This is again, why I am 100% convinced that Eli is just pranking him. He painted a picture of a man exploding onto another man. Yes. True. Like, it's a prank. Like he's kicking this man. Yeah, it's true. Like it's a prank. Like he's cooking this man. Oh, God, I hope so. He lied if you're out there and you achieved this fantastic prank. Please reach out to us. This is like, this is like those kids that the amazing Randy set up with that or whatever. Yeah, yeah, the project alpha. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he sent all those kids to fuck with

those people. Yeah. So, but I just want to point this out. I want to underscore this because this is deeply meaningful to me and important that everyone understand that at the end of this movie, when he's talking about how like, you know, there are those who would tell me that I shouldn't be giving this message and I shouldn't be sharing this message because it very obviously contributes to suicide. He defends himself by condemning the people who oppose this movie for being judgmental. Yep. Talk about the fucking pot calling the kettle a pot.

Fuck you. Jesus, he's like, people point out how wrong the church has been about so much stuff in the past, but then I put my fingers in my ear and I yell, la, la, la, real loud and eventually they shut up. Yeah, he's literal answer to, he says, you know, that people say the church has gotten so many things wrong over so many years. How do you know you're not wrong about homosexuality? My answer?

No, cut the camera. Why would we put this in our movie? Why is this in our movie? I set up a rhetorical trap that I walked right into myself. Yes, right. I myself just set the rate there and then stepped on it. And then okay, all right. And then as if this movie wasn't already bad enough, as though we didn't have enough ammunition, he's going to show us the goddamn tombstone that a friend bought him for gay him, which to be fair is metal as hell. Like that's, that's pretty metal. Is this moment where he's like, you know, I just knew that people would slow down as they drove by and go. Did someone bury their gayness? That's fucking weird.

He's like, I love to look out the window. I love looking out the window and seeing cars slow down. I'm like, you're calling traffic accident stone the guys. Like, right. So he's literally got this goddamn tombstone where the old him, the gay him has been buried and he puts it out in his front yard. And he starts talking about how like, I love the idea that people will stop and I'll like trick them into reading it because they don't think it's a dead person. And then it's basically like a chick track only made a stone,

you know, and confusing because it doesn't mention that I'm gay. Oh, man, people are just going to think I'm dead. Oh. And then when I die, if I get buried here, they're going to think I was twins with the same. No, I've really guys. I really got me this up again. Yeah. And then, okay, and remember he was talking about bootleg in that concert when they were telling about the present that you could give to Jesus with your gainess in it or whatever, we hear that audio.

He plays that audio. And while we're listening to that audio, we're watching him back at the, at the field piano, holding his arms out in surrender to the Lord. But his arms get tired. Yes, so we watch him be like, eh, eh, a little bit more. Do you have enough video yet? Well, also, so that right there, that right there, because so this is like the third or fourth

time we've seen the field piano. And when we start, it's like, it's, it's, we see the storm coming in the middle of the movie. It's just raining on him, ruining the piano as he plays it, just absolutely destroying it. And then at the end, the storm has passed. And I'm like, how long do you think they like set up that piano and waited for that storm to start and stop? Um, it's Oklahoma. So eight minutes. Oh, is that is that? Yeah. I'm storm to start and stop. It's Oklahoma. So eight minutes.

Oh, is that is that? Yeah. I really cut that joke. I thought it was funny. All right. So now, and then finally, we cut to a black screen. We still hear him crying for like 30 fucking seconds at the end of it, which is a perfect summary of the movie, right? The movie is over and he's still crying. And normally I try to ask a question that sort of wraps up my feelings on the movie. I've got a good one here and I mean this seriously. Should we report this one to Amazon? Like seriously, like we've watched movies before where like had they been on Amazon Prime, I would have been like, I should probably tell them that this is on here you know like the unexpected bar misfit type

shit but like in terms of like stuff that we found on mainstream services this is the worst thing ever right? Oh yeah I mean right to believe is also on Amazon I think. Oh okay all right we have to tell them about a lot of stuff going on. Yeah I guess so okay. And like here's the thing the movie movie is very insidious in this, that they don't really, like this guy is doing a lot of terrible shit,

but they don't really go into that. Like they don't talk about the electro shock therapy stuff, they don't talk about the camps, they don't talk about like kidnapping kids and sending them to this like gay conversion camp. They don't talk about any of that. It's the story of this guy and just his life and the choices he has made. And so like, what do you report it for?

Like what do you, you know, and it's like, because we know like what he's getting at here, we know what he's doing, but like, like it's super super like, again, just insidious that like they're hiding it because they know what they're really doing would be a turn off. Well, so okay, so but here's the thing, my, my short hand, my, my, my, my rule of thumb is you make it black, right? So imagine that there's a documentary on there all about how evil and terrible it is and how much God hates black people. And it's all these people trying not to be black. I feel like that one would get reported,

wouldn't it? Should or picked up by HBO and a bunch of people would. We could be that. Yeah. All right. Well, that's my fucking dilemma. One way that we got to try to get that rating down from four and a half stars. People help us out there. That is going to do it. However, for our review of Sing Over Us, it's not going to do it for the episode just yet, though, because we still need to trick ourselves into coming back. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. Well, it's Valentine's Day next week, which means we tricked my wife back on the show for beauty in the beast, a Latter Day tale, spoiler alert that will not

be that movie's only title. Nope. No, it will not. And yes, and when Eli says tricked, that's because we already recorded that episode because that weekend we actually will be in LA and our live show, which you'll hear two weeks from now. And hey, you know, if you didn't already get tickets, tough shit, it's too fucking late. I told you it was going to fucking sell out.

Wait. So Eli, is that a Mormon movie with multiple titles? Yes, it is. It believes that a movie shouldn't just have one title, but can't, as a monster. Can't believe we missed that. Can't believe we missed that. That is correct. All right, well, with that to look forward to, we're gonna bring episode 234 to a merciful close.

Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors to help make the show go. If you'd like to help yourself among the ranks, you can make a per episode donation to patreon.com slash god awful. And thereby earn early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help us to done by leaving a five-star review and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this, show, be sure to check out our Simplink shows, the Skating Aide, the Ascentation, Dated and the Skeptocrat, available wherever podcast live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email god awful movies to gmail.com. Legal Services Services Podcasts are provided by the law, this is a P.A.

and Drittorius Tim Robbins and takes care of our social media, our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotling, a bevel draft son, Mars, all other music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us this chunk of your life this week for Heathen, right, Eli Boss and common old illusions, promise to work hard to earn another chunk next week until then. We'll leave you with the breakfast club clothes. Dennis would eventually be caught having a gay affair, because literally everyone who does

this is eventually caught having a gay affair. Yep. Chuck has since opened a series of gay themed restaurants called Guy Fieri's American Kitchen, where he specializes in donkey sauce. He was recently reelected as mayor of flavor town eventually the one child that survived that patagonian masochka found melinda and had her revenge

and so much more fun with melinda's past and you guys did yeah because you didn't pick up on spotless priceide. Yeah, no, you're right. I did. This is going to kick ass. Oh, this was so hard to watch. Like, okay, so this took me all goddamn day yesterday. I started this at like 10 in the morning. I finished this at like, I don't know, like midnight. It was so hard to watch.

I was shocked, didn't really shocked that the movie was like an hour and 12 minutes, because it took me three hours to watch it. Yeah. Mostly normally for me, it's, it's two minutes per minute, right? Like so if the movie we're reviewing takes 90 minutes, usually takes me about three hours to get through because I pause right notes. I have to go back and like listen to things over again, et cetera, et cetera, but this one I just had to get up and walk away.

I do other work or something. It was insanity. I'm kind of very upset with you all for making me watch this video. All right, keep in mind that it's Eli that you should be upset with. I had nothing to do with. I mean, I was gonna watch it. I didn't have anything to do with making you watch it. No one wanted to do Velocipaster, mean I was gonna watch it. I didn't have anything to do with making you watch it So no one wanted to do Velasa pastor and I said no

That that made me really upset because I logged on to Amazon Prime and to look up this God for Sakin movie and Velasa pastor One of the claw or man of the claw was listed on there And I was like how are we not watching this instead? Yeah, no, that's not our speed It's more fun for us when they take it seriously usually when they mean it when they mean it from the hearts. But we like it. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, maybe not anymore. Like, but going into this one, yeah. All right. I feel dirty. All right. So we're going to get going here. But proceeding podcast was a production of puzzling a thunderstorm LLC copyright 2020

all rights reserved. A preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2020 all rights reserved.