God Awful Movies - 240: Prayer of the Rollerboys

Episode Date: March 24, 2020

On this week’s episode: Eli and Heath team up with Michael Marshall for a review of the post-apocalyptic rollerblading-themed eugenics cult movie Prayer of the Rollerboys. --------------------- You can find Marsh on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/MrMMarsh Check out Marsh's other podcasts: Skeptics with a K and Be Reasonable --------------------- Get great deals while supporting the show by checking out our sponsors: https://adamandeve.com (and enter promo code AWFUL) https://mejuri.com/awful https://forhims.com/gam --------------------- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

They're driving through this Navy Yard, he's like, oh, by the way, you know this gang of like six guys you've met, I own this Navy Yard and two of the freighters inside it. And a power plant. And a nuclear power plant, I also about that, you know, diversify the portfolio. They've invested a lot in infrastructure, I mean fair play to them, I think it's their legal gang that's also keeping all of the roads maintained. I think they're just the infrastructure

of this post-apocalyptic America is the 10 rollerboys. Okay. So, Mars, you're saying there are pluses and minuses to a Nazi gang, you know, so you're doing good infrastructure stuff. It's important to wait. Some people like their rollerblades and we won't take it from them.

Welcome back to God Offal Movies. For each week, we watch another terrible movie so you don't have to. But this week, you should watch along with us. Just pause the podcast, go watch this movie. It's amazing. And you're back and we're back. I'm your host, Ethan Wright. And sitting to my immediate left is my good friend Eli Bosnick Eli.

How's the going, buddy? Oh, it's going to go. It's such a great week, Keith. Cool. So glad. So glad to be here. Great. It's good. It's a good thing. It's good thing. My brain works so perfectly. Glad so glad to be here. Great. Good.

It's a good thing. It's good thing my brain works so perfectly because otherwise this week would have been just a constant swarm of halage information, just a bombardment of fear and anxiety that no one will ever fix or make better when this is over. Luckily for us, we're all just here to talk about some bad movies. I'm Marsha's here to review a very, very Christian movie, everyone. Yeah. By the way, we're recording this on Friday the 13th. Yeah. I had a real good 12th reading about stuff. It was a lot of fun. Yeah. Fun. Fought to you guys have self isolated through a career choice rather than through an assistant. So you were way ahead of things. I was already doing it the regular way too. And you heard him already sitting about 4,000 miles to my right in the divided kingdom. It's my great friend, Michael Marshall, Marsh. Welcome back.

Thanks. Thanks. How are you? Yeah, I am delighted to be here. I am having a great week as well. Everything is going super smoothly. And the best thing is, it just seems to get smoother and smoother. That's the weirdest thing. You say, this is not really smoothly. And then somebody else is said in the news and you go, oh, that's going to make things even smoother. Excellent.

Yeah. But luckily, you know, you have let me take my mind off world events with this fun distraction of a movie about a society in social and economic meltdown. Yeah, it's pretty great though. So let's go ahead and get right into it. Tell us, Marsh, what are we going to be breaking down today? We, I'd say inexplicably, watched prayer of the rollerboys. It's so opera-po, come on,

it's an amazing choice. It's the near future story of a dystopian society where a white supremacist drug dealing gang rules the streets via their intimidating, synchronized roller-blading displating. It's amazing. Absolutely amazing. They're so good at it.

They're not good at it. They're not good at it. It's the best. You're not. And Eli, how amazing was this movie? Well, if you love the proud boys, but you're looking for a slightly less homoerotic gang of racists that you can take a bit more seriously, you will love prayer for the roller boys. Prayer for the roller boys is the 80s incarnate. It makes no sense. It's weirdly porny and it's very against drugs all while doing a ton

of drugs. All right. Is there anything you guys would like to nominate this movie for being the best at being the worst at? I mean, it was, it was really hard to like narrow the list down to one thing to say here. I mean, I was going to go for a while with best worth title because I've watched the entire film through and thought about it for the last three days straight. I still don't figure out why just for our own prayer voices. There's no idea what's going on with the title. What is the prayer of the rollerball? Are we praying for them?

Is this a prayer by them about something else? Not a clue, not a clue. But at the end, I went with the best worst hero motivation because we've all seen the trope in films where you've got the hero and he used to do something to save his little brother from falling in with the wrong crowd. And this poor innocent little brother is gonna get involved in all sorts of stuff. So he has to do the thing to try and stop and

save this port. But the innocent brother, in this case, is just a prick. He's like a 13 year old absolute shit in every single scene that I want this kid to get everything that's coming to him and more. Yeah, it's like if back to the future, it had been about saving BIFT. All right. I also had a very difficult time choosing. I went with best worst bad guy nicknames. Excellent. Excellent choice. Excellent choice. So yeah, like we said already, it's about an internationally spread out gang that's also into eugenics, their Nazis and their drug dealers and they're supposed to be like scary and intimidating. They've chosen roller blades, which is already way too silly as their theme to go with all

that stuff. And then they chose their names. So I'll start with the least silly. The leader guy is named Gary Lee, which sounds like, you know, frozen desserts or something, but that's, that's just the tip of the iceberg. The other one, two of the other main intimidating bad guys that have to say their name and intimidating like bad guy, menacee moments are bullwinkle and bangle. Do I have that right? That is correct, yes.

Yeah, okay. See, I was gonna go with best worst apocalypse consistency. So this apocalypse will contain fenced in tent city homeless shelter patrolled by helicopters and gunmen. Pizza places, financial firms, and sex carnivals, it's very unclear what's going on in this apocalypse. There is a bustling homeless themed

sex carnival. There is, there's the sex carnival. There is. There's the sex carnival industry. I'll say it, took an upswing after whatever this apocalypse was supposed to be. It got this, yeah. Yeah. What year is this in the future? How far in the future or is this supposed to be like, it's in 1990 is the movie.

When's this supposed to be, do you think? Well, I don't know when it is, and I don't know what happened between the now and the time of the film, because we don't really know what caused this apocalypse other than greed, but everything is orange. Everything everywhere is orange at all times. And I don't know what that could be. So whenever it is, it's long enough for everything to turn orange. I don't know if we can probably work that out to like redshift or something. I'm not sure. But it's a Trump shift. It's perfect. All right. Well, we're going to take a quick break. So I can go ahead and grease up my A back seven roller blade bearings. And when we come back, Eli and Marsh are going to tell you all about prayer of the roller boys.

While I do some sweet, sweet backwards crossovers all around the room, my partner. Everyone's doing their part. So impressive. Thank you. Doing it right now. Marsh could tell. All right, everyone. Welcome to the first ever writers meeting for prayer of the roller boys.

One, am I right? Hell yeah, sequels. Oh, this movie is going to have so many sequels. It will. It really will. So guys, hit me. Okay, okay, okay. What about post apocalyptic white supremacist cult on rollerblades? premises. Uh, cult on, on rollerblades. And they're the sole distributor of a glow in the dark vapor based drug, which they're secretly using to sterilize the population. Nice. Right. Yeah. But they can only be stopped by a prostitution based undercover cop. Oh, and a half known as detective. Yeah, yeah. And the gang leader's childhood friend. Yeah, played by Cory, one of the quarry's, Cory. Hey, yeah, we said that's what this movie's all about.

Done. I'm glad we write this through Madlib's. Right? Yeah, Ed Burbly. Hi, Mr. N. Wright. I'm Dr. Keith. Keith N. Wright? What?

Uh, no. Nope. Come on, silly. You remember me? Jennifer Carver from high school. Oh, my God. I can say this now. I used to have this giant crush on you.

You're like, practically the reason I became a model before I went to Harvard and became a doctor. Oh, cool. Oh, cool, cool. Wow, it's good to see you. Anyways, where are my manners? What brings you into the doctors today? Ah, I just, I just wanna talk to you about hair loss.

Yeah, wanna talk to me, talk to you about hair loss. Yeah, I want to talk to me, your doctor now about hair loss. Yeah. Did you try for hymns.com? Nope, no, I did not. I came here and waited in your waiting room for 45 minutes. He was hogging the sports illustrated. Did I not have to do that? Is that what you're saying?

Oh, no, no, you didn't. You could not have to do that? Is that what you're saying? Oh, no, no, you didn't. You could have gone to forehims.com. What's forehims.com? It's a one stop shop for hair loss, skin care, and sexual wellness for men. Look, you're the doctor. I get that. But seriously, internet pills.

No, you big goof. This is like when I was too nervous to ask you to the prom all over again. So I ended up going to Brad Pitt instead for him. So it's not com offers prescription solutions backed by science. So you could have skipped this visit altogether. I could have. Oh, yeah. But then I wouldn't have gotten to see you again.

Yeah. Holding my urine sample while I ask for hair loss medication, right? Right. So how to try that for him's thing again? Oh, yeah. Well, if you want to dive into 2020 hair first, right now, our listeners get started with their first month free. Go to forehims.com slash cam.

That's F-O-R-H-I-M-S dot com slash cam. Prescription requires an online consultation with the physician who will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Offer valid only if prescribed. Three month minimum subscription. Additional restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information. Remember that's forehams.com. Slash cam. Great. Great. I'm going to go. I'll take that. I'll talk to you. You're going to take back your urine sample. Yeah. Yes. This is mine. Don't want to stop it.

I am taking this. No, just, no, just give me. I'm going, where are you going? Where are you going? Doesn't matter. Goodbye forever. Window crash. And we're back.

And we're going to start off this Christian movie with some very Christian symbolism. Yes, indeed. start off this Christian movie with some very Christian symbolism. Are we not? Yes, indeed. A crucifix being eaten by a goddamn dragon. It's the first shot of this film. And I saw that and I thought I can't believe they've stolen my tattoo idea. I thought I had that one last time. It's so good.

So we get the title sequence and then we get cold open on some sweet rollerblading moves. It's the best. Yeah, wrote my notes here. And you guys left me when I spurned surgical masks and hand sanitizer or horror roller blades. Well, who's laughing now, huh? Yeah. And the thing is from just behind him, but rollerblading looks almost cool at this angle. But if you are having like a wide shot of this, it's just a guy going round in a circle at about 10 miles an hour. If we see the thing, we'll ask cool if we saw what this actually looked like. If this movie does anything well, and I'm not sure that it does, it does a fantastic job of

displaying the limits of rollerplating. You're just like, all right. now jump and okay, that's it. Yeah, we did it. This movie must never have any sort of big picture in any figurative or literal sense. It must be assumed all the way in on what it's doing. I reckon I bet they had loads of really wide angle shots that they filmed and then when they looked them, like look back over them, they were like, we absolutely cannot put them in the middle. Oh, that is so a dominoes, They're cutting in flaws filled with white chocolate.

Silly. Yeah. And by the way, he's skating through the LA river, right? The like, the dried out aqueduct of the LA river. That's where we are. Correct. Sure. We're in post-apocalypse Los Angeles. So he's skating around. And at some point, he was like, yeah, all right. So get all my sweet, you know, crossovers and, and then he jumps 20 feet into the air somehow. And just do a flip here. And he's so like, he's doing his crossovers. He's like, oh, this is perfect. Get me hitting this trampoline that's also in the middle of this slide out, act of it. It is a flip. It's amazing.

Yeah. And we're also watching people apocalypse as he does this undercut. We see the little brother character who we mentioned a little bit in the intro. He's trying to sell a Mr. coffee he found in the garbage to a wandering street vendor. We see like mountains of trash and armored vehicles, and this is all underscored by Gary Lee, who's going to be our villain, narrating how this apocalypse took place. And we talked about this a little bit in the intro, but are we to believe that this took place because adults took out too many credit cards, something, something apocalypse. Well, I mean, we're to believe that people borrowed too much money and crashed the economy.

We are to believe that, Eli. We are to believe that. So here's my question, because we need to get out in front of this now. Gary Lee, this is where we get our first look at him. What do you think he was going for when it comes to physical appearance here? He was going for amazing 80s porn. So he kind of looks like flakasegles, the leasing of flakasegles, but with a permanent version of it. So when when we first heard the word rollerboys, I didn't immediately connect it to rollerblades. I thought that's just how he kept his perm saw tight, is that he's just walking around in rollers at all rollerblades. I thought that's just how he kept his perm so tight

is that he's just walking around in rollers at all times. Yeah. And so that's what this is. I'd say if I was summing it up real quick, like how would you Google him in two words, Nazi Clydesdale. There you go. Fantastic.

Yep. Well done. So we get our look at him. He's going to be our villain. We've narrated about the apocalypse a little bit. So now we cut over also not just the apocalypse. There's also like aliens have foreclosed on our nation is something that he said. Yeah. I think he means like aliens.

The aliens. Aliens races is what he referred them to in my notes. So yeah, I think it means not white people. Yeah, yeah. Okay, that makes more sense. Cause in my head, I was like, all right. So aliens like attacked Earth and they were like, hmm, we got the giant laser beam over the city, but I was thinking

housing crisis. Let's try. I love the idea that you watched this entire film waiting for the aliens to show up. Like, well, we've not got long left. They really like to show their faces. No, I'd already seen this movie probably in 1990 and a few other times since. So I actually knew that wasn't going to happen when I heard that. I was like, Oh, were there, did I forget about alien races in this? Okay. No. There is a lovely bit where the main guy's, he's rollable in alongside the canal there in

LA. And first of all, it occurred to me at this point that the he rolls and villains of this film are going to spend all their time on rollerblades. And I was so happy at that point. They just, he's just swooshing his way down the street and he looks so happy and so elegant in his little swooshy kind of way. So that was the first thing that kind of struck me. But then I love the fact he went past some graffiti, which we said like a gay of the rope, but it was in like immaculate handwriting and fair play of that graffiti artist.

They worked really hard to be accessible because so many graffiti artists don't think of accessibility and making things legible for people who think, they worked out the way I like that. And that's a theme we'll see. Yeah. That's important. Yeah. Good point. And it's that, yeah, it says the day of the rope is coming in, like you said, very neat graffiti. This is a reference. We're going to find out to the bad guys evil plan. And it's, it's weird to announce that in graffiti all over the city. So like they, they, they were making an evil plan that we will tell you about. And they were like, okay, so phase two, everybody go out and spray paint some vague warnings about

our. Yeah. And by the way, we will only find out what this plot is like 20 minutes before the end of the film. I'm not going to spoil it for you yet. I just want to say that seeing as this was a roller blade based movie, I was really hoping it was a giant jump rope contest. And I wouldn't have been surprised if it was. That would have been way more serious. Yeah.

So now we're going to cut over to Speed Bagger Shop. Or as I've called it, the last remaining branch of Boy Scouts of America. This is where our two main characters live at this point in the movie and they're doing some brother stuff. Yeah. And they're watching Gary Lee's press conference on nine flat screen televisions. Yeah. We're in like an apocalypse pawn shop that has flat screens. And the thing is they're only looking at one of the screens as well. So I feel like you could have turned a lot of those screens off

and said to hell of a lot of electricity at that point. And on the back, we're gonna learn is not great at the economics of running his business. But also, how is Gary Lee doing like an open address to the entire nation? What, how, thank you. What happened? I have no idea.

Very confused by this. So what channel was like, Hey, um, we got to get some more viewers in the apocalypse here. Are there any apocalypse gangs that want to read a manifesto during prime time? Cause we got a spot for you. There you go. And Gary Lee was like, yep, yeah, yeah, burst. I'm out of like like you think for a second Fox News would not air that if you sent him. No, you're absolutely right. That's a solid point. Solid point. And doing it right now. I just turned out back.

So Tucker Carlson is talking to Gary Lee right now. I mean, just because one of Gary Lee's lines is help the white army win back our whole land, which is straight out of Trump's 2020, really, a campaign, a reelection slogan. No, it is. It in a reelection slogan. It is. It's a lot of parallels. And there's just two characters I want to point out here. This is where we meet Patricia Arquette's character. And she's there to be street harassed by little brother for a second.

And then we also meet SpeedBagger, who I mentioned at the beginning. This is the magical black gentleman. So again, Christian movie, who has taken the boys under his wing, takes care of them. It's unclear. Yeah. What their relationship to him is. Yeah, he takes care of them with all the money he makes, fixing bicycle wheels in the apocalypse. Yeah, which is strange. Again, very, very confusing post-apocalyptic economy going on in this particular episode of Galafalmubi. So it's not just bicycle wheels, though, because also Patricia Raquette walks in at this point and has her rollerblading wheels and he starts fixing

those as well. So he's just an all round wheel guy. He's a wheel guy. He's like your bearings guy. Yeah, okay. Yeah, if it's circular, he's down. Yeah. Yeah. I got it. Got it. And yeah, she comes in. And this is where we get to meet the first little moment for Milty. Is his name, right? Is that the? It's either Milty or Milfy or Melty. It's really hard to hear at any given point. I agree. I thought it was Milky for like half the movie. I think it's milts like Milton, but miltie for short, maybe, but Corey Ham, who is the main character, he is miltie's older brother. He can't say it. And he says it different every time. So it's not your fault if you got this wrong. But this is where miltie sees Patricia Arquette come in. And he is

11 maybe, right? And he starts just shamelessly, aggressively flirting with her on behalf of his older brother, Cory Ham, and he's like, my boy right here, Griffin is his name, he's the best a rollerblader in town. You wanna fuck? So kind of upsetting. Also, pro tip, that does not work.

It does not. No, approach does not work. The rollerblading base pickup lines. No. So now we cut over to the Griffin character, the main character, our protagonist on his way to work. Or as I call it, we cut over to what I picture when I think of Martian Andy planning, QED, a K, a two candy strippers with machine guns climbing into a PW bug, which to be fair is going to be QD 2020 if the coronavirus doesn't quit it. That is going to be what is happening like to this. Yeah. So again, just to be clear, this isn't post apocalypse where pizza delivery still exists.

And we're about to learn pizza delivery to like tent cities, fenced in and guarded by armed guards still exists. But it's necessary that the pizza delivery vehicle be a armored VW bug and the employees carry machine guns. Yep. And I'm pretty sure that Neil Stevenson based most of Snow Crash on this amazing movie. I like it. For sure. So yeah, they're going to deliver some pizzas. We actually see the municipal homeless shelter here in this scene.

Everyone has their own barrel of fire, like some kind of fancy Amazon employee of the month. It's pretty cool. Yep. FEMA provides plenty of fire barrels. Maybe focus on viral testing kits or something like that. I don't know. Just other things for FEMA to think about.

Be great. I also want to point out that this is where we see our first scene of people doing mist or as I put it in my notes. Meanwhile, an old guy is huffing a glow stick. That is what it looks like. Yeah. So silly. It's like this giant silly contraption.

Do you ever go to one of those like oxygen bars? They haven't been like Vegas casinos where they like they give you like a Red Bull and vodka and they give you the little oxygen tube of nose and somebody gives you a shoulder massage and it's supposed to like pe pet you up to spend more money at their stupid casino. It's like that all lit up. Yeah. This movie invented vaping too, by the way.

It's exactly the head and stuff. The true fat plumes. Visionary. All right. So now the brothers are wandering around trying to find their next delivery. And they're tapping the Jeep. They have like this giant television

in the middle of their console that's supposed to be what a GPS is going to be. And it's really, really fantastic. Yeah, it's great because Misty says this GPS doesn't work. And I wrote a minute. Yeah, that's what happens when you all map his on a VHS. It's not going to be all that interactive to be all this guy. You can rewind the map.

Rewind the map. He's in the right place. But as they're driving around, they pass a burning house. So, you know, LA hasn't changed that much, which is nice. The point is Griffin crashes his van, his pizza delivery van into the house and frees the young drug dealer who was inside. Right? Yeah.

The guy is like yelling like, oh, I'm gonna be on fire in a second. He's two steps away from his front door yelling through a window to Griffin. And Griffin's like, just walk slightly to your left, man. I, I don't know why I needed to stop. All right, if you're not going to walk to the door, it feels like it won't help to smash it in with my van, but, you know, smash. So he smashed it in and they say, he saves what we learn in a minute is bullwinkle. He's a drug dealer. He's a roller boy. And he's a roller boy, exactly. And I love that pinky. His, his, his pizza delivery kind of boss shows up and is really upset about his van. But clearly the script just had pinky is upset about his van. And actor had the kind of vamp and carrying on living and the actor really runs out of different

ways to express how upset he is about his van. He just kind of really peed it out into sort of, oh my van, oh van, because crash pizza, van, it dies. Anyone want to come in with another line? No, it's okay. I'll say it about my van. How did I get here in three seconds from that crash? Uh, the VHS GPS is how I did it.

Yeah. So he roller blades away after having been fired. He's all sad and disappointed and who should he run into? But the roller boys. And this is the first time we see how the roller boys travel and they roller blade in a perfect V with arm swinging unison. It is the funniest thing anyone has ever seen. Oh, it's absolutely incredible. And every single moment of this makes me laugh, constantly made me laugh. Like there's a bite where the roller boy lead like approaches griffin.

And when he does he rolls towards him and and ends it with a little spin. And I genuinely spurted out a lot at that point. I just could not contain myself. That's the like roller hockey spin stop that you're supposed to be able to do. If you can you can either do the heel break, but they don't have that like they have these, but you don't have those on like roller on these gates. So this is like the spin move one. He's not at all good at doing it. And it's so delightful. He like spins and then like takes out those like extra two seconds at the end to get his

balance and like the bosom stuff. Oh, yeah. It's a sort of delicate pirouette into an intimidatory style. It's a remarkable combination. But yeah, this is Gary Lee and it turns out that he and Griffin used to be childhood friends and lived near each other. So it's a fact that is wildly known. It turns out in this universe. It's a very, very common piece of knowledge that everybody seems to have. And I don't know if this was just Gary Lee's acting or what it was about this particular

scene, but Gary Lee's entire performance here is just like, hey, thank you very much. I don't know how to see stuff in a non-threatening manner, but I'm absolutely very grateful. And it's great because he makes Bullwinkle say thank you to Griffin for having rescued him from the Burning House. And Bullwinkle comes forward and says thank you, but it's in a very kind of like Bullwinkles aster to lead as his mama. What do you say, Bullwink? And thank you. Say it properly. Thank you for rescuing him from the burning house. Yeah. And all these rollerboys are lined up, band out, trying to be intimidating here. and just this every time this happened in the movie

and it happens constantly. I wanted it so bad for somebody on that big intimidating fan outline to lose their balance and do that violent fall thing during the big speech. Where you like you like you know, one foot kind of comes out. You do that violent spin to the ground thing. It's so loud and awkward. One, oh my God. I could have been great. The rest of the movie, I couldn't think about anything else. The one thing that struck me as they all sort of skate away again in

unison. And for one thing, you know, they're all dressed identically in order to be intimidating, but it comes across as like the cast of Starlight Express trying to do a clockwork or it just got that kind of vibe going on. It's not remotely intimidating. But as they skid away and milties look at them like, wow, cool. We sit out milties on a skateboard, which is objectively a million times cooler than all of them. Ooh, controversial words. All right. I am so conflicted right now. I don't know whether I to yell at my old self or my news. You've broken he's clean and have. So like both. We're just really quick. Can we discuss one more thing about the roller boys?

I wish. The enormous coats. Yes. The enormous coats. It's a rollerblading themed gang. They constantly are trying to like quickly navigate through cities, apocalypse, the sharp things coming out. I needed more coats getting caught on stuff and like wind resistance being a problem and them like being blown sideways, falling more.

It flapping up into their faces and them getting tangled in it. Mid roll. Yeah. That would have been good. Oh, especially because they roll up a really close together. So the guy in front of you, his coats's going to be all up in your face constantly. Yeah. I just want to see like squapples of the night.

God, put your coat down. Come on, I can't see a thing. I'm going to carry you. Take the belt out. We did. We said take the belt out. I got hit in the face again. Almost got my eye.

All right. So later that night, we cut over to our main character, heading into the roller boys, hide out. Okay, I'm confused. Here's what it is. It's a carousel with machine guns and champagne and very, very, very many balloons. And ladies with no shirts on. Also in a mermaid.

There's a mermaid. There is a mermaid and jello wrestling or oil wrestling. Yeah, it's a fancy dress arms fair. You're basic gangster carousel mermaid party. Mermaid. I paused it at one point. I swear there was someone dressed as a furry pink six foot tall cock and balls. I swear it was there. I saw it. I paused it. I looked it for a while. It is definitely there. Look, it's on YouTube. People can check that information. It's on YouTube. People can check it out for themselves. And one other detail I want to touch on about this roller boy party. There's a picture cake, right? Yeah. Of a roller boy,

with the caption, like roller boys boys forever day of the rope. And I just really, really wanted to be there for them ordering that. Hey, welcome to Karen's cakes. Can I help you out? Hi, yes. I'm ordering a cake for a birthday. Oh, wonderful. Yeah. And I was hoping we could do like a picture cake. Oh, sure, sure. Yeah, we do those. Now, did you want to get that printed on a cake or were you thinking more of like a frosting decoration situation? Yeah, frosting decoration. Great, great, great, great. Any message you want on there? Yeah. I wanted to say rollerboys forever, day of the rope. Day of the rope.

Got it. And can I ask what organization this is for? It's a white supremacist roller gang. Oh, lovely. Manifuse in one of those. Just wanted to make sure you weren't gay. Oh, yeah, for sure. Not, we, nope, we, we fuck women.

Do you take wads of sweaty money? Yes, we do. Great. There's an amazing bit where a kid, is this meant to be Gary Lee's birthday or something like that? Because a kid gives him a present. And the present is a voucher for a year's worth of mini golf. That is correct. And I thought, yeah, but to the present is a voucher for a year's worth of mini golf. That is correct. And I thought, yeah, but to be fair, a voucher for a year's

worth of mini golf is like one game of mini golf, maybe even less than that. Maybe even less. How much you don't play a lot of how much mini golf do you guys play? I think you can play a game and go like, well, I've done that now. I've knocked it through the wind mail. I think that's me good for the next year. Ha ha ha. Also, yeah a few minutes to answer it. This is a post apocalypse where not just mini golf exists, but mini golf gifts certificates exist. Like that's a weird, right?

Mini golf economy has made it through the apocalypse. And this child apparently owns a mini golf course and has like the power to give away your long subscriptions to it. I guess I don't know. It's very unclear. Yeah. But then we get to see more carousel playing and I, it's, they're all on roller blades as usual. So they're like rollerblading around the carousel. And then they're, it's bad guys. They're, it's supposed to be intimidating criminals. Yeah. And they're on a carousel being like fucking fuck society we're gang. I was going to say like the roller boys definitely say we more than any other

dangerous gang in cinema. I think it's fair to say that. I also, I just want to, if I may stand on a soapbox for a moment, not related to the movie, but there is oil slash jello wrestling. And I just want to say, I don't understand the appeal of oil or jello wrestling. Like, I don't want to watch attractive people fight each other. Why is that? Let's like, they'll gather around and cover people in jelly while they have a big fight over how much rent they can pay. I don't understand it. And the appeal seems to be that like, oh, well, if they, if they have a big fight, we can all pretend that it's nice touching, but nice touching is a thing. You can cover people in oil and they can nice touch each other.

That would be great. And in fact, it's, it's two, you know, women and bikinis in the, the Jello wrestling. And one girl ends up taking it way too seriously. And goes so far over the top starts like smashing the other one's face into the ground over and over and over. And everybody's like, okay, hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm winning, Joe, wrestling. Okay. You win then, everybody do it. And then it's the, it's the late heat of foil wrestling and we found her here in prayer of the rollerboys.

So two important things happening this scene. The first is Gary Lee offers Griffin to be in the rollerboys again. And he says no again. And Griffin takes Patricia R. Kett's underwear. It's the only way I can describe what happens after that. Walk us through what happens there. Yeah, so I mean, first of all,

we have her talking to Bangle. And the dialogue is incredible, because he says to her, you don't need to be the bikini in the juicy. I won't tell your daddy. And Patricia R. Kett says, that's not my daddy. It's the Loch Ness Monster I'm worried about. And I wrote, oh, I've't tell your daddy. And Patricia Arquette says, that's not my daddy. It's the

Loch Ness monster I'm worried about. And I wrote, oh, I've developed aphasia. Words don't need anything to me. That's what happened here. It's the only explanation. And right. And then they kind of walk outside of the party, Patricia Arquette and Corey Ham. And she's pretending to be an undercover cop. She is an undercover cop. And she's pretending to be a missed buyer here. Is that what's happening? Yes. Yeah. And she's dressed as be an undercover cop. She is an undercover cop and she's pretending to be a missed buyer here. Is that what's happening? Yes. Yeah.

And she's dressed as like a sexy pirate. Naturally. The big reveal of her character, as Heath just said, is that she's an undercover cop. So part of her plan as an undercover cop is to try and buy drugs from him again, but this time to have sex with him. Yeah. Those drugs or the fairly swap out under way for some drugs.

Maybe that's what she thought was happening like a transaction here. Yeah. That's cheap. The noise of expecting. But again, he like takes off her underwear very like slowly and sexually and then he hands it to her and he's like, ah, no, thanks. It's just a very weird moment that happens in the movie that I needed to confirm wasn't me just like falling asleep halfway through my watch.

It's crazy. It's a moment of upsetting. Yeah. But as we teased earlier, now it's time for him to head over to the sex carnival. And I just want to be clear, when I say that he heads over to the sex carnival, I mean that there is a literal circus tent, which he enters. And there is a barker in the background of this scene being like, Harry, Harry, Harry, two for the price of one. Yeah, it's loveland, USA. Apparently I listened to what the barker was saying. And he's got welcome

to loveland, USA, everybody. That's a, it's an unusual choice for a brothel to have a barker, typically they're more low key than than that I'd imagine, but fair play for book and the trend here. Yeah, really wanted the well-spoken Japanese guy who scared me and Heath away from Japan's red light district to show up and calmly offer Corey Hame a prostitute here. I would have been a lot more comfortable. But what is Griffin's motivation here? Because he went to that party to try and rescue his little brother from the rollerboys. And when his little brother wouldn't come with him, he goes, fuck it out, go to a sex carnival then.

I don't understand what the process in his brain was. Why is he going to this brothel circus? Yeah, it's very, I think he's literally just like, well, no, Patricia or Kate Kamiol worked up. I got to go get rid of this boner at this sex carnival. But luckily, before we watch him, you know, patronize the sex carnival, two cops from a Dick Tracy comic book jump out and decide to attack him, arrest him. It's unclear. They're later going to be identified as cops, but they just look like Dick Tracy villains and they jump out at him.

Yeah, it's entirely inexplicable. And I do like that. He gets away from these two cops with their guns out by just like pushing them and then rollerblading away. And it's like we did that work. Absolutely nailed it, mate. Yeah, I mean, he makes it away temporarily because he turns a corner and then boom, he gets caught by who I have called McGruff the crime dog. This is going to be like the head of police who will grab him. And so now we're going to cut over to the police station where McGruff is going to try to get him to join the roller boys to turn them in. And what we do learn in just a little bit, nice, a little touch of world building is that

when the apocalypse happened, it took away all the filing cabinets in the world. So now please have to stop their files and just piece of paper in piles in the middle of the corridor as you're dragging, dragging your villains in. It's a nice little touch for world building. Yeah, we will see later in the movie that the roller boys hoarded all the file cabinets, very strategically. They did because we'd learn all the things that the roller boys own because the cop kind of tells us this. So they're on like all this property, they own factories, buildings, rollerblades, some spare laces, just in case the ones have got snap, they're really all getting everything together. Investments, yeah, I needed to see these transactions as a scene. Like the

the roller boys purchasing foreign investments and doing all these things. None of that. They don't show us any of that. Yeah. It's very sad. We want all of those scenes. But yeah, for some reason, he also knows that he was next door neighbors with Gary Lee, the white supremacist gang leader, when he was eight years old. I think this is on Gary Lee's Wikipedia page. That's the only explanation for it. I've got Google's Gary Lee, because of fun fact, he was next on Amazon Griffin, the pizza guy. So yeah, he says he's not sure if he can join the roller boys because he was out of that he used out and he doesn't want to have anything to do with them.

And then this is where we get the reveal of Patricia Arquette being an undercover cop. We cut to her and McGruff watching the video of the conversation we were just watching. And he's like, what do you think? You think he's the one? And she's just like, no. But I love the fact that she's still in fancy dress at this point, which if you're a bad filmmaker, you say all makes sense because we've just seen her. But we can't have been just having seen her because that interrogation happened. They filmed it. They then took that cassette of the interrogation to her so that a time

has passed and she still sat there in sexy pirate uniform, presumably with a nicker still in her hand. I have no idea. Why is she not changed? Why doesn't this all hold together? It's incredible. All right. Well, it looks like Rollerboy's LLC International is a perfectly legitimate multinational corporation during the apocalypse run by like 10 teenagers. Or is it, it is, but more stuff happens. So stay tuned and we'll be right back. Hey, Kelly, could you cancel all my meetings till my meeting with the new Clinds is over? Yep, yeah, great. And now you can send them right in. Yeah.

Ah, yes. Mr Lee and Mr. Ball Winkle. Right. Well, before we begin, I want to thank you on behalf of Chester and Havisham for investing with us. Our firm's been handling major investors like yours for over a century, and you guys can. Sorry, sorry, I'm, we're going to put my super dope overcoat. Oh, the, the peg on the wall behind you. That's, that's fine. I'm going to put my coat there too.

Great. Great. I mean, if you got, if you gentlemen all want to take off your rollerbillets as well, that would be never a rollerboys forever. Forever boys forever. Day of the rope. Day of the rope. Day of the rope.

Right. Yeah. Day of the rope. Yeah. Day of the rope indeed. Yeah. Absolutely. So about your portfolio, have you got any particular, I think you might hate to interrupt

you again. Can I hang my machine gun up on the same peg as my coat? Would you have a separate machine gun up on the same peg as my coat? Would you have a separate machine gun? Please do. On the peg is fine. It's fine. Cool. I'm going to do the same thing. Great. Rollerboys forever. Yeah. Day of the rope. Day of the rope. Yeah. Day of the rope. Yeah. So did you guys have any particular? Sorry. Sorry. I just one second. This is my comic book guy on the phone. I got to take this. You're comic book guy. Yeah, yeah, we distribute comic books for our

white supremacist gang is sort of a public service. Oh, um, okay, I see. This isn't too weird this meeting, right? Oh, no, not at all. I was the finance manager for a bunch of rappers in the year 2020. Wow, that must have been wild. Oh, yeah, it sure was. Yeah, do the rope. Day the rope, yeah Now listen lucky the leprechaun just give me the pot of gold and I'll free you fair and square Never know illusions. You never get me jewelry offensive seriously. He'd get out of the ad for me jewelry. You got the ad for me jewelry. You get out of the ad for me jewelry. You're not in it.

Sorry about that. You'll never get me jewelry. Wait, wait, wait, did you say me jewelry or... ...majury? Uh, the first one. Why? What's? ...majury. Uh, majury makes fine jewelry for every day.

Without the ten-time markups, it's fairly price-handcrafted, ethically sourced, and made the last. It is? Yeah, plus you get free shipping on all US-Plus Canadian orders until April 20th, plus easy returns, and a two-year warranty. Ah, but who must you capture for that? I must know! You don't... Nobody, you just go to majority.com slash awful or use code awful at checkout for 10% off your first order. That's

m-e-j-u-r-i.com slash awful for 10% off your first order. In fact, you can keep your lousy pot of gold. I'm gonna go order something from them instead. Huzzah! Mentury has saved maturity! What? They sound similar. No, I get it has saved Maturey. What? They sound similar. No, I get it.

And we're back. When we left off, Cory Hame had agreed to become the Donnie Brasco of the roller mafia. And now he's standing out on Santa Monica Pier by himself just like slow playing it, letting the mob come to him. Also, I just want to throw out there. We see some more roller boy graffiti here, which I know Marsh mentioned earlier in the show. This graffiti is what I would call on the nose and on the nose. They specialize in very literal graffiti, very, very

specifically to graffiti. No nuance, no subtext. Get it all out. Inline skates and eugenics, yay. Okay. Yeah. All right. You know what I appreciate? It's the the rollerboys at least have direct messaging. There isn't be honest. Just be honest. You're into those two things. Got it? Oh, flash cut to everyone like having that fight with their shitty uncle who's like, I'm sorry, I like the rollerboys because they speak their minds. They don't fuck around. You heard about the non rollerboys emails. There's an incredible moment. Again, one of the moments in the film that may be laugh out loud as he's standing around just kind of contemplating, joining the rollerboys

and a rollerboy, a random rollerboy just rolls up skits right up to him says, so when are you joining the rollerboys and then immediately skits up screen and then we cut to a wide screen and he's disappeared, he's not even there. It's like, what happened? Corey Ham is just like, oh, you skated all the way over here to ask that and then you just get away, okay, you're done, he's done. Cool. And then it then it's suddenly night time as well. So that was the entire scene. We saw outside during the day for that five second scene of random stranger asking if he's joining up. Amazing. Yeah. By the way, that guy that roller boy had an AK 47 just like strapped over his shoulder as he skated around. So it's like, this is open carry on 8K 47s. That's ridiculous. Okay. No,

sorry. No, not everything. Yeah, I was going to say it's nice that not everything is changed. So now we're going to see Minty doing some misdealing here. Melty. Minty. Minty. Minty. Minty. Whatever his name is. Yeah. He does a little bit of misdealing and right in the middle of his drug deal, the other gang, I call them the Gene Vest gang throughout the entirety of the movie. The sharks from West Side Story, the Be 13s is what they call that. The Be 13s, they're going to do a drive-by shooting of the roller boys. Yeah, yeah. And I do as well.

I love that. The guilty was selling mist for the law, low low price of a random handful of bills because the guy you sell that you just grab some random that they go, is this enough? Yeah, sure, that's that's about that. Yeah, I feel like a handful. I think I wouldn't count that fucking handful. So we get we get a tense shoot out here. And by the way, if you're wondering what the only thing sillier than a gang on roller blades is, it's a gang in a firefight on roller blades because they all have to do, like they all have to walk inside this building where they're being shot at. And so we watch them do that chunky roller blade walk to people.

Oh, ankles, oh, and the thing is as well. So Griffin says to Missy, he said, well, you know, the roller boys, they're all rare cysts. And I thought, it's strange. That's not really come up that much in this film. They mentioned why to Premacy early on, but we've not seen any evidence of that. And then when the gang roll up and start shooting, it's just a car filled with all of the other races taking turns one by one of shooting. It's okay. I get it. I get it now. Yeah. And then the chase Corey Hame through the city for a second and then he runs into a fence that he can't hop over and they corner him. Yeah.

And this movie doesn't realize that trucks can drive faster than people can run because we keep turning the corner and Corey Hame is going to get an extra distance between him and the truck. Well, he's quite the rollerblader, but they eventually catch him. But right when he's about to get shot by the MS 13 or B 13, whatever the bad guy gang, then bullwinkle shows up and saves him at the last second. Yeah. And not, not until he like does a weird Dwight shrewd S. monologue about his karate skills. He shoots the bad guys and he's like, let me tell you something about risk control.

Hidden the shadows like a ninja because I'm a ninja. That's right. You're welcome for the murder. And now I take back my grumbly thank you from before now. We're square. Now we're square. Then our hero's motivation, which is guilty, that little kid starts kicking the dead body. I'm like, it's protecting this boy is going to be the reason we care about our lead character's motivation.

And here he is giving like absolutely kicking the shit out of a dead corpse right now. Yeah. With his rat tail that got exponentially larger since the scene before it does. It gets it gets larger in every scene in the movie. So now we're going to cut to the next day where he's reporting for roller boy duty at his lovely postmodern home. Again, this is very strange. That said, corner's ever. There's so much going on in this house.

One of one of the things that caught my eye while they're having this scene is in the background, you've got a full suit of armor with a cape and a fluorescent light bulb as a sword and then a fluorescent halo on the suit of armor. Oh, did that catch your eye? Yeah, I got your eye. Some us stood out, yeah, yeah. That took up the entire frame. They also have a series of what I'm going to go ahead and call sexy mannequin television holders. Yeah. And you've got Bullwinkle who sat indoors on patio furniture reading the newspaper

and the front page of the newspaper. Again, world building scene setting, the front page and newspaper, the headline, Germany buys Poland. And you think, what, what picture did the picture editor of the paper used to illustrate that? I'm getting a map of Germany, a map of pool. And that's the best way to illustrate that story. That's right. So yeah, this is Corey Ham Griffin shows up in the headquarters and he's like, yeah, I got three o'clock about becoming a rollerblade Nazi. Can I get in to talk to Gary Lee? Gary Lee's in the middle of buying guns. And that conversation is basically, hi, yeah, I'd like to buy some more guns, please. and thank you. Yeah, thanks very much. Could you give me more guns? No, but that's not until you finish the guns you've got on your plate.

That's the actual line though. You like what he's he's walking up the stairs of their weird little HQ with like a fancy Japanese businessman. And the actual line is, I'd really like to buy more guns. We'll see. We'll see. I have to talk to my boss about selling you more of the thing that we sell. And then they hand the Japanese guy a giant like Chubaka ammo belt of cash. Yes. Very weird monetary system, which he does not count, by the way. He just looks at it and he's like, yep, one belt of cash. Yes, very weird monetary system, which he does not count, by the way. He just

looks at it and he's like, yep, one belt of money. That's how much guns cost. It's a standard unit of currency at this point. All right. You get one belt of guns for that. Perfect. Yeah. That's a lovely line about the gun that they've got in their hands as well. He says, that gun was only used for that week that the Israelis were used to mop up Northern Ireland. Again, more world building. Lighting around. What a cohesive universal view we have of global politics at this point. Amazing. Yeah. Never going to clean up bell fast without some Jews and some guns, right? Great. Great. Yeah. It's good writing shitty uncle. Thanks. And they used it. This is also where he has the like, okay, I'm in conversation with Gary Lee and Gary Lee.

And as this amazing conversation, he's like, yeah, you're going to love it, man. It's going to be just like when we were kids, when we were blood brothers, also Aberbove Nothing, I hate traders. One more thing, I've bove nothing. I have a dinosaur that I am now petting and it's the iguana. This actor hates this iguana, right? It's very clear. He was like, and then you go over and sinisterly pet the iguana. And he's just like, you ever have a friend who has a shitty cat, but doesn't know it? And so like, come on over and say hi to Mittens and Mittens like has a fucking hunting knife that he's slowly drawing across his tongue. So you got to do one of those like sideways, like, hi Mittens. Please don't out, out, out. So that's what he's doing

with the Saguana. Don't do this in front of company. Yeah. They both hate each other. Gary Lee hates this. You say iguana. It's a fucking T-rex. It's absurd. Again, the entire frame is taken up by this dinosaur that he's just like barely acknowledging throughout the scene. And then finally, he's like stroking it like the evil guy with the cat. Yeah. And then you have the supospine moment for Griffin here who's very clearly recognizes he's there. He's on the clock. So he's like, yeah, blood brothers. By the way, what's the day of the rope? Just straight out there. It's the best. Just say it into my chest, you know, you know, how sometimes we talk

into each other's chest, just like, yes, you know, just, you know, because we're close. So now it's time to head over to the shipyard for his initiation into the roller boys. And so here's the initiation. He has to roll or blade. This is the greatest. I love to see so much. Now I don't know if we are to believe that this is the initiation for everyone, but it's definitely his initiation. He has to roller blade race, three other roller boy hopefuls initiates, yeah, across a well-armed and well-guarded shipyard and steal a security badge. Yeah, and Gary Lee specifically says as well, be creative with it. Which I hope they were scoring an artistic merit like the Olympics, just holding little placards up at the end. That's a solenoid point nine. Russian judge keeps giving them a two.

That's a saliney point nine. That's a saliney point nine. Russian judge keeps giving him a two. So we get to watch that. We watch a roller blade race to the death. Yep. And so they get released off the back of this truck like into the shipyard compound. Ready set go. So the foreign issues start going.

The shipyard compound is they're protecting important stuff. They have guards with automatic weapons and they just start firing right away. One guy gets killed, one of the foreign issues. I thought all immediately, immediately, I wanted all of them to just get shot right away and like, would actually happen. And then Gary Lee just being like, all right, that, uh, all right. This is not a great system. We know, we know, we only have 10 people in our entire multi-dust formation. I just want to point out one thing that occurred to me during this.

I do not know why I wasted my life thinking of jokes and characters and observations when the funniest thing in the universe is a rollerblade race. Cause here's the thing that you realize watching this roller blade race. You can only go so fucking fast on roller blades. So they have to do this like, yeah, yeah, yeah, pushy, offy thing in order to race, but they're like a foot from each other and they can't touch each other because they'll fall down because that's how fucking roller blades work. It's the fucking peak of comedy.

Literally, I just watched the whole thing being like, I have no jokes that are funnier than what I am watching right now. The whole time, all I wanted, they're going all through this shipyard, like little like alleyways between cargo containers and ducking under stuff and getting away from trucks again that are slightly slower than rollerblading. And all I wanted was just a big, long grass area. And they have to just like, all right, walk it, walk it, walk it. It's, the wheels are going to get wet. It's going to be wet. They're going to be slippery when I get off. And then they get off and they can't push off for a little bit. Do you think at any point in the making of this film, the filmmakers thought, oh, shit,

we shouldn't have gone with rollerblading. It's really, really dumb actually. Now that we are, we're in vet, we've already spent some of the budget on buying everyone roller skits. We're committed to this now, but it is a minute. This is going to be rough. We bought a bunch of sets of rollerblades. We bought giant trench coats that only make sense with a rollerblading gang. So that's locked in with the Z-caveri cheese and the suspenders. What's that about too? The crazy, the pants and the suspenders and the black t-shirts, the whole thing. The roller-boy outfit is my fucking favorite. Oh, and I just want half way through the filming of this, just one of the critical motorbike

gang. That's what I should motorbike gang. That's cool. That's motorbike gang. That's what I should. Morty by gang. That's cool. That's a morty by gang. That's why damn. I wanted the like square formation roller skate gang to show up at some point. And there'd be like a rivalry there, like a roller derby situation versus in line. Yeah. For sure. For sure. So yeah, Corey wins, Griffin wins the big race and Gary Lee shoots the other guy who came in second, which again felt like a weird choice, right? Like they were like, how many gang members this week? Well, still one because we kill everyone who does. All right. Feels like a hard, hard to expand. We're slowing our growth. You don't want to over hire. You got to, you got to stay within our means, you know, there's a bit where Corey here

and ends up in the back of the van with Gary Lee and he says, where did you get the guns? I was like, you were there for that conversation. You heard them get the guns. You had one of their guns. You shot the telly with one of the, why are you surprised? They've got guns. They choose you to work at launcher to get you through the fence.

Why are you asking, where do you get a fucking rocket launcher, but no guns are what surprises you. Yeah. So now we cut over to him being initiated in what I think is the Roman Coliseum. Yeah. Well, yeah, they built like a post apocalypse version of that with their very expensive decor person. And they bought like a couple hundred fire barrels. Yeah. And hired

a metal worker to like cut them into flamie shapes to like accent the flames. They were going to be in them. And they line them up next to a fashion runway that is for rollerbladers. And they have like a big platform at the end of it where the initiate goes and they do. And it's just like the warriors actually again, there's a lot of warriors in this. Yeah, I wrote it's like a turning points USA conference up in here. Oh, sorry, it's a slightly less racist turning points USA conference. It's, it's like a moderate CPAC. Yeah.

And the only thing I want to point out about this scene is that the chant of the roller boys is Dave the rope, Dave the rope, future is ours, future is ours, roller boys rule, roller boys rule. But they cannot chant together. It is just watching 60 of these extras be like, day the roller boy, roller boy, damn. No, fuck, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no their hands up with their fists clenched like as if they're holding a rope between their fists in front of their face, I guess, is the gesture that they go for that. And you can see all of them in this long scene being like, can we just put our arms down between we, when we're not saying actually, they wrote, it's just, it's a, the lactic acid buildup, do you know what I mean? It's a lot.

And you've got Corey here and trying to do the chanting and you just can't do it. He's like a non Catholic who's attended Catholic mass. Just not mumbling and joining in. Where he thinks he can. Shh. Ma ma ma. He's just getting a bit of a misal vion is the king. Oh, you guys don't do that bit. Okay. Okay. Sorry. There's got it. You guys got to make your own missile book for all these. All right.

It's fine. So now it's now it's time for a sweet roller boys montage. And again, the movie is so sure this looks badass and it's so silly. There are no words in the English language for how silly this shot it with the sweeping arms again, switching arms way over the head. And I realized at this point, so like one of the keys to a good kind of sci-fi world is that you take the same world and you just change a couple of the rules and then you let it all play out kind of as realistically as possible. And I realized that's what they've

done here. And the only thing they've changed is that in their world, rollerbading is cool. And that's the only thing they've changed and they've tried everything else to kind of play out as it's. It is cool. Yeah. We also cut over to them giving out food at their white supremacist roller blade drug dealer gangs food truck. Yeah. And giving out a Nazi propaganda comic books of themselves. I think yes, they have comic books of themselves. And let me just say the thought of a bunch of like white guys who are interested in a weird activity that not a lot of people care about, making themselves into cartoon characters is really sad and depressing. I think we can all agree with that.

Can't we keep it right? Okay. So we call a long tail joke. If you're there, but if you're there's people of color all throughout that company that you're not. No, it doesn't count. He was a cartoon in his old company. Anyways, yeah, undercover lady shows up dressed like a cowboy and she needs to talk to him about the being an undercover cop. Okay. cover cop A. Okay, literally she's gone undercover as one of those normal drug addicts, Annie Oakley's rollerbladers.

Yeah, Patricia, her character thinks being in fancy dress is the same thing as being undercover. So undercover, that's just not you're not wearing a cop uniform, right? So it's the same as fancy dress, it's exactly the same. And then she tells him she's a cop by getting a badge out, because all good undercover cops carry their badges at all times. And I just really wanted her police badge to be like a sheriff's badge and she just got really in on the theme. She's really, really done the outfit well on the cowboy. Absolutely. But the point of her coming over dressed as a weird cowboy is she drags him to the side and says that he's got to get a job at the mist house.

So now it's time for Gary Lee to drive him to the mist house while expositing her backstory, which is that her brother was a roller boy who died for the cost. And I was so confused by this. So like, Gary Lee knows she had a brother, but doesn't know she's a cop. Because you know, a fair bit about her life at this point, mate. You think you put those two things together. Yeah, it's very strange. I wanted him to be like, I don't know. Yeah, he joined the gang.

He died and then she, I guess became a costume based prostitute. It seems like I'm really looked into it. And as they're driving, by the way, he's pointing out, this is so weird and inconsistent. They're driving through this Navy yard. He's like, Oh, by the way, you know, this gang of like six guys you've met, I own this Navy yard and two of the freighters inside it. And a power plant and a nuclear power plant. I also about that, you know, diversify the portfolio. They've invested a lot in infrastructure. I mean, fair play to I think it's their legal gang that's also keeping all of the roads maintained.

I think they're just the infrastructure of this post-apocalyptic America is the 10 roller boys. Yeah, it's so much you're saying there are pluses and minuses to a Nazi gang, you know, if they're doing good infrastructures, it's important to weigh that. Some people like their roller blades and we won't take it from them. So they got to check out the drugs. And this is where we see the drug RV. And I just want to say for a movie that spends a tremendous amount of time and effort on a lot of its stuff, this super drug will literally be introduced by you mix some red with the yellow with some green and now

it's trucks. Yeah. And the RV. So they explain how the RV he's saying like, it's one man per shift, three shifts a day, seven days a week, 20 more at the end of the year. And I want to end with like solve for X because it's something I use growing up in mass. But he says the only way to get in is the security system only accepts his handprint, which is, which sounds like, oh, that's super secure. But you've just said it's three shifts a day, seven days a week. You're spending a lot of time putting your hand on this one sensor so many times a day. This is really inefficient.

Maybe we could get a pin coat or something. No, I'll just do my hand again. Hey, Gary Lee, sorry. I know you're about to shoot a bazooka into like a Navy art to do the initiation that you need to come back and open the, the, the bands. Again, we didn't time this well. It's, it's beginning the shift though. I told you not to do initiations at the beginning of the shift.

Like, oh my god, crazy billionaire reboot of this movie, which is pretty much just this movie except we add Martian Andy at the beginning. Is, is we just constantly interrupt the movie so that get like mid-Gary Lee evil monologue was it once again, sorry. But really right now is in the middle of the day the rope. All right, guys, we're back. And then we just watch all the characters pause for however long it takes for him to drive there.

And still in roller blades. Yeah. So that night is it costume themed cop ladies house to report what he's learned? And she's going with a kimono theme tonight case you're wondering. So she does keep it costume based at home as well. And this is one of the weirdest scenes in the movie, right?

This is supposed to be their like sex scene or kissing, see, what's happening here? What I do know is happening is that the two cops who arrested, who tried to like tackle him in the sex carnival, they've bugged their colleagues house with audio and they sat outside her house listening to everything she does, which is a very strange choice. They don't really explain at all. I thought, do the bad, are there bad guys? Are there bad guy cops? If so, who's paying them? And do they know she's a cop? What the fuck is going on? They just do not have any consistency. I don't ask questions. It's rollerblading. There's rollerblading, Marsh.

Yeah. She literally pulls off his underwear and like the movie does the like camera pan away blow job thing. But then she just throws his underwear at him and she's like, no blow job for you. Now go nirker in your drug ring, which, which means he must have been confused about whether he was getting a blow job or not. Like midway through because he had blow job face. But what was she doing at that point that made him think he was, it was very strange. He's just winding up the face, winding it up. Oh, okay.

And I just want to say I was so happy because this sexy is very gross. There's a lot of finger licking and like tongue on tongue licking. And my notes for this entire scene are just, I love that we did this to Marsh. I love the idea that Marsh should be watching this in his office and Nicola would walk in and he'd be like, no, it's for work, darling. I'm just, you know, I've got that conference in South Africa next month, but it before then I'm going to watch. I really like rolling.

Just to watch for a little bit of suck. Corey Haymes fingers. If I heard Nicola coming into the office, I would alt tab into some actual pawn to hide this from. It's just a granny's, just crannies. Favorite, I swear. Yeah. So that's the end.

She gets his underwear and she's like, in your face, underwear, same thing as before. Go be a cop now. Sorry for the like, weirdly involved bit, that was a lot. And that's why you don't teach lessons. Now that the very important power dynamic between undercover cops has been reestablished and changed a little bit, Griffin is ready to continue being an undercover cop and the plot can continue. But first, we're going to take one more quick break, and then we'll be back for the roller-tastic conclusion of, Prayer of the Roller Boys. Hi, I'm Heathen, right? I'm Eli Bosnick. You know, here at God Awful Movies, we're

always glad when we can be joined by our friend Michael Marshall of the Mercy Side Skeptics Society, but it's with special pleasure. We're happy to bring Marshawn to tell you about our new sponsor, Adam and Eve.com Hi, hey, Marsh so Marsh as skeptic of the year and one of the members of the Mercyside skeptic society Where would you recommend I go when I need the booty sparks red heart gem butt plug at the best price. Adam and Eve.com. Right. But Marsh, wait a second, as an international skeptic educator, why would you, Michael Marshall, international skeptic educator, recommend visiting

Adam and Eve.com here on this recorded podcast. Guys, this, this is no, M&Eve.com here on this recorded podcast. Guys, this is no- Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, script. Because you can get almost any one item for 50% off with code awful. Wow. So just to be clear again, you, Michael Marshall, are recommending our listeners go by the booty sparks

Red Heart Gem Butt Plug for half off by using the code awful at checkout at adamaniv.com. Yes, yes, that's what I'm doing. Yes, but that's not all. Is it, Marsh? No, no, that's right. It's not all. Enter the code awful at checkout select one item and you'll also get 10 tantalizing free

gifts. You'll get a sexy item for him, a special gift for her, and a third item you'll both enjoy. And six free spicy movies plus free shipping. Won't they, Marsh? They'll get all that stuff. Won't they, Marsh? Yes. Spicy movies.

Now, Marsh, in your official capacity as expert representative to the NHS on homeyopathy and a skeptic of the year, what are some of the top selling spicy movies on Adam and Eve.com? So Nina Hartley's guide to female ejaculation. That's up there. You're so much bigger than my husband volume two. Love that one. First one's good too. And guys, come on. I mean, I got a conference. I like to do my official, March, March.

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I hate you both so much. I love you. F U L awful it. Check out at Adam and Eve.com. I hate you both so much. I love you. Love granny. I spent the day consulting the BBC on science and now I'm here. You wanted to see me chief. Yeah, Detective Casey, come on in. Want to talk to you about the roller boy case. What about it, chief? So um, yeah, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but it's been some department questions about your methods. Well, I play by my own rules. How so, chief?

Yeah, so last month, and I'm quoting you from your report here, it says, I fucked a bunch of roller boys like a bunch. Sure did, chief. Sure did. Right. So you gain any intel there and any success, turning any of them states evidence? No, why? Okay, did you maybe convince them to bring you mist so we could bust and flip them? Nope, nope, just, uh, just fucked up. Fucked them. Uh, got it. But that's it. I've got a new

plan chief. And this one is sure to bring the whole thing toppling down. Okay. What's that? So this week, the rollerboys are getting together for a big meeting. I mean, all of them in one place. So what I'm thinking is, I dress like a sexy pirate, right? And then, uh, gonna stop you right there. Does this plan end with you fucking some, if not all of the rollerboys? Yes. Got it. But dress is a pirate. you fucking some, if not all of the roller voice. Yes. Got it, but dressed as a pirate.

And we're back. When we left off, Griffin was on his way back to his house van after getting sex pranked by a fellow police officer. Now it's gonna talk to Melty. And he comes in and he's like, I had sex with a woman. Melty's like, what? Did you though? He's like, no. Yeah. And man, this kid's performance is terrible. I just wrote in my notes. There were

speak and say at this point in history Like, they could have just hired a speaker and say instead of this kid, it would have been just as good. I'm so obnoxious and you meant to care about him and you just really don't, you know, you want him to just go have a mist over Dawson, fuck off, and die so we can just get him out of the way. Oh, that would be great. That would be great. But instead, no, we're going to watch the roller boys do a roll by shooting. The joke that I made earlier in the episode will come to fruition.

They will literally do a roll by shooting of the B 13s. Right. Which does this why? Like what? What's happening? They're planning their thing and they're like, all right. So what do we do now? You want to start like a big gun fight or something? And somebody must have been like, I get where you're going, but maybe we just keep going with the big multinational corporation thing they were doing. No gun fight and we get more arm swishy thing. And they're very clearly.

They're very clearly. They're like slow motion. They come up in slow mo. Very clearly they were in like two lines, double file. And then at some point, Gary Lee had to be like, guys, guys, yeah, deop, deop, we're doing the two lines. But then fan out when I do the signal flying the like mighty ducks. I didn't do the signal yet. Okay, everybody go back, go back. We're going to look like we need to look cool when we

show up for this. Right. And then they slow mo like jump over the pile of tires that surrounds the B 13's big party and they start firing guns everywhere. Yeah. And this is where the point of this scene is that Griffin's supposed to shoot two children that are running away and he doesn't and bullwink will catch his in because he knows he's not a real roller boy. It's the silliest word. You can't say like, you're not a real roller boy. Yeah, it's a real problem. So now we cut back over to the Nazis where little guilty is in trouble for failing his drug test.

Yeah, he's doing the mist and Gary Lee walks up and gives him a weird big slap in the face. It's a real, it's a really convincing slap for everything that happens in the film. This slap is the most convincing thing anybody does in the film. It feels like you actually hit this thing and I was there for it. I was sympathizing with Gary Lee of the rollerboys at this point. I watched it three times. It was kinetic. But Gary Lee is on rollerblades. He does the big slap and it throws him off balance. He has to catch his balance. It's the best. But also it's like you broke a rule about using mist. So you get a slap and I thought I felt like it would be harsh.

I felt like the enforcement of that rule will be way harsher than it's. Yeah, that's it. And then we go back to a speed bagger at his booming wheel repair business. Yeah, still. And he's like, are you still mad at me for joining the white supremacist gang? You're still mad at me for joining the white supremacist gang.

Got you an edible arrangement this time. But the important thing about this scene is that Bullwinkle was spying on him and he knows that he is friends with SpeedBagger. But like, I don't understand why that's a big problem because they know for a fact that he used to live there with SpeedBagger. So the big problem here is that he joined the rollerboys and then went back to a place where he lived for ages to talk to a guy he lived with. I don't understand why this is such a suspicious thing for Bullwinkle. People like, haha, I've caught him out from the cover of this convenient

place, fresh fruit vendor that's on the street. Yeah. And right, it means nothing, but we still get the greatest menacing apple bite here from Boll Winkle. He's, it's so silly. He's, he's doing the spy thing and then he takes the bite of the apple and he's like, muah, muah, muah, muah, muah, muah. Okay. Yeah. doing the spy thing and then he takes the bite of the apple and he's like, what? What do my japple? From what?

Okay. Yeah. So now we cut over to Griffin getting his roller boy, like midterm review from Kerry Lee. Right. He's like, look, I really need you to give this 100% if you want a sticker that says. I'm not a cop. I'm not a cop. I'm not a cop really loud before I finished.

I'm not though. And he's like, cool. Me neither. Me neither. But he say like your heart's not in being a white supremacist. Like don't, don't be a half-hearted white supremacist. Come on, really give it, give it. You really probably hate people who aren't white.

Don't just like, well, not like keen. Really go for it. Cool. Why don't you set up like some, not like keen, really go for it. Cool. Why don't you set up like some sort of test for me to do that? Like maybe a homeless guy punching circle with robber blades homeless guy punching circle. Yep. So that's what happens.

Yep. They're at another one of their highly produced areas like just for this, like they built a homeless guy punching circle rollerblading area. And they're all spinning around circling this one guy. And I wanted them so bad, let me get dizzy and fall. They're just all on the ground. But the big reveal of this scene, of course, is that the homeless guy they were punching was speedbagger the whole time. And like, let's just deal with the realism of this moment for a second, right? Like we're supposed to believe that he was skating

around someone he lived with in a circle, but because he couldn't see exactly his face, he was totally unaware of who it might be. Yeah, yeah. But like he had a, I think at a bag over his face, but it was still the only black person we've met in the entire film. So the odds of it being speedbagger were pretty high at this point. And you think speedbag would have been like, oh, that hurts, but like sort of while rhyming in a sort of free associate issue. I'm speedbagger, just say his name once it would have been helpful. Yeah, exactly. I'm speedbagger, just say his name one, so it would have been helpful.

So now we cut over to speedbaggers post apocalyptic hospital room. So it's run by gangs filled with slums, but a guy who runs a wheel repair shop has a full hospital suite to himself when he's attacked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they basically have an argument back and forth about whether or not they're going to run away from the gang or if they're going to stick it out and try and bust them. Yeah.

And she's going to stick around because her brother was a really nice white supremacist before the whole gang thing happened. So she needs to honor his memory. Yeah. And she has this moment where she's like, you think I like hanging out with those roller boys all the time, huh? And like, I don't want to be this guy, but I feel like all the sex as part of her job was her idea.

Like, we never see anyone being like, you dress like a fucking window washer and go blow a bunch of people. A window washer would have been a good one. Yeah, exactly. I like that. But yeah, in the middle of that argument, they start to make out and have sex, right? Maybe. Well, I'm not sure. I mean, I'd like to think they don't. I reckon she just plays another elaborate prank on him. And they're just going to be a constant series of one-upmanship about how far they can get each other. I will. Yes, I wanted that to keep going throughout the movie.

Absolutely. It's called Mormonism. So yeah, the next morning and either they did sex pranks or they did sex because he's naked and bullwinkle has showed up at this undercover cop's house to accuse him of not having his heart and the gang again. And also to shout the N word in a very disturbing and surprising and assessing way. I mean, fucking hell, that was a surprise to me. Yeah.

Yeah. Very, very upsetting. Also, Corey Ham has the single shoulder suspender with the other one down. Yeah. There's one strap up and it's, it's like the perfect 1990 thing. He was just rocking that style at home. He was just like at home and he was like, yeah, I'm gonna put up one. Yeah, snap up one. And this is also where he discovers that he's an undercover cop because she left her comically large police badge out on the kitchen table. And he doesn't

see it. No, no, no, he doesn't see it. He puts his hand on the badge table. Oh, and he doesn't see it. No, no, no, he doesn't see it. He puts his hand on the badge. As he goes to stand up like boy, he goes sitting there chatting and he puts his hand and he's like, wait a second. What's my hand on that feels like a police bench. Let me look. It is a police bitch.

What I really wanted was for him to sort of like push himself up off the table with his hand on the police badge, but so hard that it hurt. And so instead he like, lift his hand to look at it. And there's the imprint of a police badge on his hand. And that's the back. Is this a backwards police badge? Oh, it's a real one. What's an, what's an essay poll, low S a S a low S a low. So yeah, he puts them, he gets out his gun and he's, he's gonna monologue at them, but it's fucking amazing. And he's like, now that I'm about to kill you, I want you to know that you're one of the bam.

You're right. Yeah. This is where the, the, the two cops that caught him at the carnival show up and one of the bam. You prayed, yeah. This is where the, the, the two cops that caught him at the carnival show up and one of them sneaks up behind bullwinkle and shoots him in the head. Shoot some in the back of the head, like, instantly. And I just, I wrote in my notes, that's not what happens when you shoot someone in the back of the head. It is incredible, that's it. You saw flails around quite a lot in an, it's, it's very strange. It's a very strange. Eli, question, what happens when you shoot somebody

in the back of the head at point blank range? I mean, I've heard experience, they definitely don't just flail around and fall. They're definitely not this scene, but you'd think there would be some like facial damage, right? As opposed to just like, like the bullet going into the back of his head and then setting up there with some roommates. So it's the next day, the day of his big first drug shift and the day when he's going to let all the cops into the drug RV to get to the drugs which will bring down the rollercoaster. And this is where we learn that Gary Lee has brought him a drug cooking partner. Bangalore. I wrote my notes.

You're going to be shadowing him, but you will not be splitting his tips. Just saying that. He also brings a, some just super obvious Dunkin' Donuts product placement here. It's post-apocalyptic hobo drugland, but Duncan Donuts still exists. I like to think it's it's bangle was so excited about teaching Griffin. And he's like, oh, it's my first day. I got to teach him. I'll bring donuts.

I'll be really good teacher. I think we're really into this training day. I really wanted the directions to that Duncan Donuts. Just like, oh, there's a Duncan around here. Oh, yeah, no, so you know the sex carnival, right? You go about a half mile past that, but if you've hit the giant closed-infenced-in-armed guarded homeless shelters, you've gone too far. It's right there.

There are several of those. The first one? Yeah, the first one right there. Okay. Can we talk about this contraption that they use to make the drugs one more time? So we said earlier, there's three buckets, very small buckets of like colored sand from Michael's craft store. And then it goes through a couple of 1990 computer devices. And then it is fruit by the foot.

Yeah, it is fruit by the foot. Yeah, it is fruit by the foot. Yeah. And bangles having such a lovely time explaining every little bit of it. He's really, really proud of the work of the set up. He's a really good teacher. Honestly, the only thing and joy about this entire film was bangles performance. I have a way to talk about it. He's actually all of this scene. Yeah.

He also, very important, he explains the hydrochchloric acid like in case the cops show up thing that just like flushes out the whole system so they don't get in trouble. Yep. And he says 18 molar hydrochloric acid, which no, no, it's not. It's not it's it's not I believe 12 is like the theoretically highest possible amount for liquid hydrochloric acid. It's fine. Also fun. I love the idea that like you pull a lever and hydrochloric acid dissolves all the drugs. And then the cops show up and you're like, nothing illegal about sitting in a van with all

of these machineries and very clear drug-making capabilities. And buckets of precursors for fruit by the foot of the drug that we all know exists. I don't want to live in a country where it's not legal for two guys to sit alone in a van full of drug-making equipment filled with acid. I thought it was more accessible through a Palm Prince scanner every eight hours. So yeah, we watch a little like, I guess I got to call it like hanging out in a drug van montage, right? Where they're like doing push ups and playing 20 questions. Melting rats in the in the acid. Melting rats in the acid. And then finally Griffin is

like, oh, hey, this is new. What's this, this, this bag with a giant skull and crossbones on it? Is this like a protein powder? You just make a chase or whatever. And bangles like, ah, that is actually not protein powder. It's actually mcguffin powder. That is the rope of the day of the rope. Yeah. And we learn that the day of the rope. Yeah. And we learn that the day of the rope is making everyone who uses his mist sterile. Yeah. It's a eugenics plot

for drug users. Well, you know, theoretically, eugenics is nothing to say eugenics couldn't work. I mean, that's the, that's, that's the main objection we all have to you. Jennings. I think you do. A lot of pushing back against the arguments against the Nazi gang with the jacks. Can I just give you that note? I get it. Marsha's Twitter has just been to. I know who Marsha's been following on Twitter. It's a good thing. Oh, so yeah, finally, after him being like, yeah, no, this is just, we were giving everyone the birth control pill in their drugs. It's our evil plan.

The cops show up. Corey slash Griffin hits him with a pipe in the head. Yeah. And man, does this movie not know when what happens when you get hit in the head with a pipe? No. Well, I mean, if Corey Hame hits you with a pipe, I feel like it doesn't. Yeah, that not possible. I got to be honest.

And also being honest, I'm rooting for Bangal here in this fight the whole time. I just, I really don't like Corey Hame's face. I just don't like him. Yeah, I mean, Bangal's been lovely this entire movie. He brought donuts for a new employee trying to get in. Yeah, he's got a sweet, you know, fruit by the foot drug mix that he puts on. They got some good music going. Yeah, I'm rooting for him here, but the cops show up and they catch Bangal just in time.

Yeah. Although Bangal does hit the switch to destruct. So they do try to dump having by that big button, that big switch label destruct, which was presumably not set to destruct previously. It was set to something else. Exactly. It was it was set to, destruct, which is presumably not set to destruct previously. It was set to something else. Exactly. It was it was set to not destruct. It's a they have a switch that there needs to be flipped and they're like, it feels like

a button situation. You know what I mean? So just as they're walking everyone outside, the day is saved. Who's waiting for them? But Gary Lee with ponytail as his hostage. And we get one more amazing little roller blade moment here. Well, we're going to get another, another amazing roller blade moment in a second, but they're walking out of the little van and Griffin's the only one on roller blades. So he's just like sadly rolling, but all the cops are on foot.

And it's funny. And then all the roller are on foot and it's a fucking funniest thing. And then all the roller boys show up. And again, I remembered that they were all on rollerblades. And I laughed out loud again because they slowly just like roll intimidatingly into shots. Incredible. And again, this, this scene is so weird because he's like, give me the drugs, Griffin. And all the cops are like, no, we're not gonna do that. Oh, no, I'll shoot him. Okay. And this is all just like a big delay. They're about to have a gun fight and they all like agree, like, all right, well, just

let the main guy do a speechy thing and argue with Griffin for a second. Yep. Okay, gun fight. Yeah, the gun fight is just incredible because it's, you can tell that the rollerboys are all net at this point thinking, shit, it's really hard to dodge bullets when you can like mostly just go in a straight line when that's mostly what you've got on the rollerblades is just straight line with a little bit of a turn. So, I'm sorry.

Very hard to do. Slalom. Slalom, Marsh. Think about it. So now it's time for the big finale and that means Griffin it's gonna run away from Gary Lee in a big old skate chase. Why is he running away from him? And look I know a lot of people don't watch along with us but there really are no proper words to describe this roller blade based gun chase. Oh, wait, but yeah, there's no stakes to this chase. It makes no sense.

But the greatest physical comedy of all time happens here because they decide to start a roller blade chase and then have it go up a long flight of stairs. And they both, they do a chase in the silly rollerblade climb. Is there a calm out out my ankle? It's just so long. The way hope it's amazing. And again, they don't need to be up for any reason. They're just like going to keep a chase going into their warehouse areas. So silly. Yeah. And by the way, this chase truly pushes the limit of like what even the people who made this movie think is cool about rollerblading. Like there's so many unnecessary, very small pipes that get jumped over. It's a bummer. Yeah, yeah. They might as well stop at the bottom of the stairs and each take off their roller blades very slowly and awkwardly and be like, oh, it's the knot is I doubled it. I doubled it. They go through all the stunts.

You know, they jump up a few little stairs. They jump down some little stairs. They do a spin. They hit all of the high notes of roller blade chasing. Yeah. And I should point out that the way he finally like defeats Gary Lee, who has been chasing him and shooting it in with almost infinite bullets is to roller blade up to a pole, spin around it barely and kick him in the chest. Yeah. Why is that pole there? First of all. They're in there like warehousey drug dealer area, the Navy shipyard, but they have like a

pole dancing class for employees in this one spot. Yeah. It's cool. Very, very sad. So Gary Lee is being led away by the cops, still on rollerblades. It's so stupid. He's still on roller skates. The cops walking. He's just like sadly rolling. Oh, he's rolling and trying to be menacing at the same time. He's like, you should have killed me, Griffin. You should not too fast. And then we cut to speed beggar, milty, sex, costume-based cop lady, and Griffin running away from the roller boys to Oregon.

Yeah, yeah. Speed beggar has recovered from his life threatening conditions really quickly, because it must only be a couple of days since he was in that hospital, but he's absolutely fine. Milty is being milty, so he's being obnoxious and annoying as fuck and they're off to start a brand new life in Oregon.

Obviously Oregon. He's going to open up a big wheel shop in Portland. Okay. It's a good city for it. And then this movie, impossibly, it's most baffling scene is going to tease super hard for a sequel. We see Gary Lee spray painting his cell and planning his revenge because he wants to expand his territory, chin stroke, chin stroke, out to Oregon. And he's got his accountant slash lawyer in the prison cell with him.

And he said, as you know, you know, I've been thinking and I want him to finish that sentence by saying, I've been thinking the rollerblades was a really fucking stupid idea. Why did nobody stop me? This is don't surround yourself with yes boys. And not even good at it. I keep falling off balance a little bit in the middle of speeches and I'm trying to be serious. And he's explaining this to again, yes, a CPA slash lawyer

who has a desk like a messy desk in his personal cell. And he's and Gary Lee's like getting getting distracted and walking over to the walls and like spray painting during his evil speech. So good. CPA is like, hey, just, you know, don't you're getting distracted. Good. Tell me tell me the plan. That's the important thing. Shut up, Dave. I'm doing doing a drag and eating a cross on the side of the thing.

But yeah, we're getting a sequel. They are certain of it. Oh, yeah. So this was 1990. Been 30 years. I'm guessing they're not doing that. We need to buy the rights to this. Corey Ham is dead. So that's not a great sign for his continuation as the character. Yeah. So they close it on the hard sequel suggestion. We'll find out. Final question for we wrap it all up. Rollerblading is awesome. Oh, sorry. That's the question.

Question, what's the name of the sequel and what happens? Okay, it's a comedy, a lighter tech on this universe. It's called D bounce. That's excellent. I think in the sequel, Gary Lee Bricks out of prison finds Griffin who's now running a skate park in Portland and challenges him to like a stunt skate off, whoever gets control of the skate park. And it's prayer with the rollerboys too, the Oregon rail. That's fantastic. All right. Well, while that does it for a review of Prayer

of the Rollerboys, that's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need to get you excited for some Saddamie. Stay with me. Eli's going to explain Eli. What's on deck? going to explain Eli, what's on deck? Sodom and Gomorrah, the 1962 scare film about what Sodom and Gomorrah, what's like. Fantastic. Get ready. So with that to look forward to, we'll bring episode 240 to a merciful close. Huge thanks to Marsh as always. And for anybody who's new, where can they find some more Marsh stuff? So you can check out my podcast, Skeptics with a K on iTunes and everywhere else. Or if you look up good thinking society, that's my sort of mature day job side of things where I don't talk about these types of things, but I try and do some good sort of skeptical

work. So yeah, check us out there. Cool. And again, what is your favorite object at Adam and Eve? It's really hard to choose. That's such a fantastic range. Okay, everything. Great answer. And once again, a huge thanks to our Patreon donors for all the generosity.

You'd like to help support the show. You can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash God awful. And then I'll get your early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help us out by leaving us good reviews in review spots and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the skating atheist, citation needed, the skeptic rat, and D&D minus available in all those podcasty places. If you have questions, comments, or cinematics, suggestions, you can email God can email God off the movies at gmail.com, legal services for this podcast are

provided by the law offices of Pianjertoraz. Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slonic, people drafts on Mars, all of their music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week. For Michael Marshall and Eli Bosnick, I'm Heathen Wright, promising to work hard to earn another chunk next week. Until then, we'll leave you with the Animal House close.

Griffin went on to face his greatest nemesis of all. Gravel. Joar Pio, the Nesh Tassuzah, and Gary Lee, all got pardoned by Donald Trump. Cory went on to face his greatest nemesis, OxyCut. Oh, so I'm pretty sure, I know it's a silly movie, but I'm pretty sure yesterday, the 12th of March, was the day of the rope.

Oh my God. I think that's what happened. Pretty sure. Yeah, I think that's what happened. Yeah, I think the other rope does. Now to the 10 count here. Five. Five count, that's right. Doing it double. Wow. Doing it double.

If you do it this time, do 10 this time, you will need to do one next time. That's how it works. Just stall them. That's right. Yeah, you can just break them up. Exactly. We need to stockpile you counting. Again, I'm all out right now. It's the toilet paper. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I mean, Eli, I assume you're always stockpiling toilet paper, but that's for a genuine. Well, that's the thing is I've been ready this whole time. I will be your toilet paper king. Time comes.

Eli's the barren harkening of toilet paper. Exactly. Complete with bubble shield. You don't use the family cloth? Do not use the family cloth. Thank God. Go green, you bigot. If this is all references, it's all lost on me over here. Go green you big it if this is all references. It's all lost on me over here The family cloth is Literally kind of what it sounds like it's just like we keep using a cloth over and over and wash it Wow, we we just Not mean I worked out what a cloth would be useful, but I I didn't work out who it's like a tea towel. I have the square ones. I really skate. It's in one line on nothing.

Fuck out. Can it be in belt form? How else would you get it? Yeah, good. Stupid question. Right. Where does money go? Then ammo belts. Yeah, ammo belts.

Great. Yeah, that down to your right at Day of the Road. Oh, absolutely. Cool. That's important. Don't tell anybody. Yeah, that down to right at day of the road. Oh, absolutely. Cool. That's important. Don't tell anybody. No, I like how this sketch had a clean ending,

but now I just sorta died like an old person. I'm gonna go to the fire. This is all, oh, slower. Here. Go. Wait, wait, keep it going. Just because Morgan was getting comfortable, he had dragged his little marquee to a lowver,

and if we just keep going, it's gonna have to do that thing where it scrolls too far. Oh, he dragged it down. So now, you know what, can we switch from the decoration to the print? Yes. Let's do it all over again. Ha ha ha.

I'm doing it. I sure hope someone doesn't like put this online and put a bunch of SEO tagging on it. That would be terrible. Unlike a website. It's not an existing website, I sure hope. True story, I had to take all the SEO tagging off of SkepticaTheYear.com because it was on like your third Google page.

And I had a horrifying moment where I realized like, oh God, this was funny to birth today. So this may be genuinely affecting his career at this point. Someone's like, all right, let's click next. Oh, okay, a hot blow to skeptic all over your face and chest. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2020 all rights reserved. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC Copyright 2020 all rights reserved.