God Awful Movies - 261: The Omega Code

Episode Date: August 18, 2020

This week, the guys team up for an atheist review of The Omega Code, the story of bad screenwriters trying to figure out how to shoe horn in as many of the twelve million convoluted elements of end time theology as possible into two boring hours.  --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Also, the news also tells us that the stock market's gone crazy with Stone Alexander's new idea about abolishing all the currencies and switching to a one-world economy. Investors love it when you dissolve all the currencies. This is so much simpler. It inspires a lot of investor confidence in the market stuff. Yeah, that's how that goes. This is almost as good as the Bitcoin. Forex market's fucked, but the style market's doing pretty. movie movie

Welcome back to the gamcast for each week We sample another selection from Christian cinema because sometimes the best you can do is scream along with the lambs I'm your host no illusions and sitting 700 miles to my immediate left is my good friend Heath and right Heath welcome back Thanks Noah. Ben Shapiro's wife told him what vagina is a disease. I'm just gonna mention that every so often for the rest of my life. Oh, there you go. And sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick. Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? I need to fire Ben Shapiro's wife. It's my doctor.

It's what I need to do. I bought all those towels for no reason. Oh, a completely off topic, but as of the day that this episode comes out, 250 days since my last cigarette. So anyway, we wanted to brag about that a little bit. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. And speaking of not that, tell us, Heath,

what will we be breaking down today? We watched the Omega Code. Finally, it's the story of a biblical prophecy that's encoded in the text of the Bible by God, which means the entire story of every character literally does not matter. Right? Doesn't matter. Nothing that happens matters.

Also, about 90% of the runtime may or may not have happened inside a dream. They refuse to tell us. You know us, the audience of the movie. So I don't know. I don't know. It's a movie that doesn't matter and maybe doubled. Like the entire plot of the movie, double doesn't matter. Made some of the right.

Yeah, exactly. And we're gonna tell you about it for a while now, as a show. Which really won't matter. But boy are they in a hurry to tell you nothing. Yeah, I've gone. Oh my God. Running to sit in a room and do nothing.

Yep. All right, so Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you loved the DaVinci code and the Matrix, but the plots were too realistic and historically accurate, you will love this movie. This movie came out the exact same year as the Matrix, and the Omega code is proof that no matter what depths, secular cinema stupes to that year

Christian cinema will always come out with something that makes less sense To matrix make perfect sense what the hell are you even talking about read some day card right use people as batteries? Come on, okay, yeah that part was too. Why are we good batteries? Yes, you better things you could use cows for batteries cows would make rain people is that's fine You got what you guys talk So is there anything you guys would like to nominate this one for being the best to be the worst at best worst computer noise Oh my god computer noise

What the fuck was happening so they have an evil air computer room in the movie and they're convinced a layer computer room in the movie and they're convinced that like people like the audience won't understand that computer stuff is happening without constant obnoxiously loud. Even when nobody's on the computer, it's empty. Right. It's making these, I thought they were going to pan over and the guy from police academy was going to be there. I was just going to say it's like the guy from police academy and a dot matrix printer are breaking up every time. Oh, yeah. All right. So I was also going to talk about how little they trusted their audience with my best worst. I was going to go with best worst info dumps. Okay, so the only way that the writers of this film could think of to introduce any character or plot point was to have a reporter on in world TV tell us about it. And like to a

ridiculous degree, almost every scene will start off with the news reporter going well in this next scene We're gonna see these two characters. They're gonna be here for a summit. Oh, it's this movie Sprints to nowhere the entire film they introduce narration at one point to introduce a scene that will never matter or make sense or have anything to do with the Blah they might as well have like billboards running past introducing the characters. None of that ever matters. Open new studio. And then the news guy comes on open skyline. I'm like,

I'm like, this is so dumb. Skyline and Jerusalem open movie. Yeah. So, and a mind is admittedly minor, but I was gonna go with best worst protagonist name. Oh my God.

A main character. A character. A main character. A main character. A main character. A main character. A main character. A main character.

A main character. A main character. A main character. A main character. A main character. A main character. A main character. A main character.

A main character. A main character. A main character. A main character. A main character. have really by contrast one thousand three hundred forty nine people are named Tesla haha so you guys are gonna have to tell me what the fuck happens in this movie because I spent the entire film trying to figure out what the fuck they were saying every time they said this guy's name oh my god so his name was so bad that Eli didn't even bother to mention that the antagonist's name in the film is Stone Alexander.

That's how bad the name Gillin Lane is. Okay. Well, I mean, I don't want to spoil later in the review, but that stone thing's going to pay off pretty awesomely. Oh, never. Hold on. Awesome. We all never hold on stone Alexander the antagonist acronym for Satan it's Satan. Okay.

All right. Well, I'm going to need a minute to differentiate between this one and the 26 other rise of the anti-Christ movies that we've done up to this point. So we're going to need a quick break. But when we come back, we'll dive into the impossible-delight characters of the omega code. Yeah you wanted to see me Mr. God. Uh uh uh uh uh Tyler. Exposit. I- sir we just clarified this bit a few weeks ago.

I- maybe some people missed that episode. Okay all right you're God and I work for you in this bet. Me too. And so does me. Maybe some people miss that episode. Okay, all right, you're God and I work for you in this bet. Me too. And so does Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Hi Sarah. Stop. You look really tight, like toy.

Did you notice anything about me? You look like a cartoon rhino. Classic. No, haircut. Look at my haircut. I did it with my teeth. That's horrifying. Anyway, you wanted to see me, Mr. God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did. So it's about that book we're working on. You mean the response book to Michael Cohen because I talked to our lawyers and they say you need something longer than know you are before you're allowed to call it a book. No, not that one.

Also pin in that the the B play, the B play. I think it's going to be called the Bible. Okay, pin in that as well. Anyway, I want to put a code in there. Oh, okay. What kind of code? I'm glad you asked. I think it should be like a, like a number code, you know, like a drink oval teen deal.

Sure. Okay. And I want all the major points of human history in there. I think it should be like a, like a number code, you know, like a drink, oval team deal. Sure. Okay. And I want all the major points of human history in there. And also, also, this is very important. A year and a half of the anti-Christ rise to power in incredibly minute detail. Oh, okay, Mr. God, you don't need to do that.

This is your book, right? So like it's your instruction manual to humans. You don't need to hide anything in your perfect word Like in fact putting all the human history and there would be a great way to prove that it's true and you're real Oh, I'm sorry put it out there. Are you crazy? I would never do that Why? Because spoilers tie tie that's why oh my Uh, cause spoilers, Taitai, that's why. Oh, my God, I hate spoilers. Right. Totally ruined the bachelor. Right? Yes. Ruined it. Okay. So what parts of history do you want hidden in your code? Oh, you know, just the big ones Hitler, Princess Diana, you know,

the big stuff. Okay. So those two things are vastly different in their historical importance those not to me They're not even a hearts and minds the people's princess. Okay candle in the wind And we're back for the breakdown and before the movie even starts we know it's gonna be good, cause the goddamn logo is out of focus. That's because we're watching something that was like, you know, move from VHS to digital at some point or another, but I thought at first I was like, oh, this is gonna be real bad.

Yeah, this was digitally mastered by the 1950s computers that we get to see or move we get to see by punch cards. That's what they were arguing about so loudly. The logo is actually a punch card. It's just a punch card. All right. So we start off with the movie just like, you know, fucking tell us, don't show us. The movie says throughout the ages, man has pillaged Jerusalem's ancient artifacts in

search of supernatural powers, which is fucking dumb because all the magic shit was in the Bible. Bible man. Yeah. So we learned that there is a code inside the Bible. And if you think that's stupid, Isaac Newton wasted a bunch of his time on it. So your stupid. Yeah.

Yeah. It's every bit as legitimate as alchemy guys. Come on. Although I will say the Bible does read like a code book. So that makes a ton of sense. The eagle did land it midnight. I get it. I get it.

We just should have been looking for the across and upset diagonal words. There's a scramble in there somewhere, a Sudoku. It's awesome. But that's literally what they're saying is going to happen. That's the movie. That's what's happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's what the plot of their movie is. All right.

Yeah. So just a quick aside, because I think it's pertinent to the movie, the idea that there's a code hidden in the Bible is old as the fucking Bible, right? But there was a book that came out in 1997 that prompted this movie to come out called the Bible code that sort of revisited that. And all that is is a guy going like, Hey, you know what, if I take every 17th letter, right, from this chapter, it kind of says princess. And if I take every 23rd letter, it's D and I, right?

So like, and then the, so it's this guy finding these ridiculous word searches in the Bible, keeping in mind that like he's controlling how many rows there are in the word search, right? And also keeping in mind that he's using the actual word, right? So he's like, look, I found Kennedy on every seventh letter. And if you just read every first letter, it says assassin. Oh, my favorite part of the Bible code as a book. And this may have to be on scathing

atheists one of these days is that for the stuff that doesn't work, he just puts that it doesn't work in smaller letters in the book. Yeah. So he'll be like every 20th letter is Princess Die, fucked Marilyn Monroe, except for where it doesn't on all these pages. Yeah, right. Except for the 17th and 19th and the 23rd. Yeah.

Exactly. It's like he read sirens of Titan and was like that guy know a constant I'm not there by investing using the Gideon Bible. So so as long as we just get Eli to spell it out for us This is not making fun of me. He's saying I'm right Also, we should point out this movie has real actors in it, which is weird very you know, they're all like Secondary characters. And there's no star to this movie. But yeah, there's just all, every one of them is like that guy from that thing that you

know, right? Yeah. And Michael, I are inside. So, okay, so we're gonna open up, oh god, we open up on the dome of the rock. So we know this movie is gonna be tasteful. And we see a rabbi decoding the Torah, right? Oh, just like Lululu defeating Islam with math. He's on math is my favorite thing.

And we zoom in on what he's doing for a second. And it's an every fourth letter code. And I just want to say, I think someone would have noticed that. I think we didn't know about the every fourth letter code by now. You think someone would have thought to check before this mother fucker. Yeah, but they also, they have a computer going, right? There's a computer that we see that's like decoding all of this forum after he counts out the letters by hand.

I don't know the fuck the computer is doing. And it shows us this code, right? It says, Rostinburg, Finder of the Key, Gondagod, Sunrise, Fourth of Av. And just to be clear, this is about this guy.

Yes, which means that he got nine tenths of the way through this code and he was like, man, I'm really hoping something positive comes after Sunrise. Just going to God is not great. Sunrise fourth of a oh God, I hope this isn't a V fuck. The land.

Today the 31st of Av God, dammit, I gotta get this thing. So yeah, and just as he gets it translated, dammit, if there is no laser pointer coming right for his throat, he's about to get assassinated. Oh, really wanted a cat to jump on the laser. I just love the idea of some assassin being thwarted by that said because he loves cats. God damn it. I don't have a shot.

I don't have a shot. I'm putting this on on YouTube though. Yeah, so the assassin kills him. And then we see the assassin like gathers up all of his evidence, but he doesn't think to check the pocket where he put like the last code thing that he just got, right? Yeah. But he does make sure to take the 53 hours. Yeah.

This is worth money. Yeah. I wrote my notes. Yes. So the assassin leaves with all he thinks all the information just as he leaves two guys show up immediately after they're like, they put the thing in his shirt pocket, didn't he have shirt pocket? Okay. We got the other thing that the assassin missed, right? They have the fucking McGuffin. Yeah.

Which is going to be it turned out to be a couple of pages from his gray old, I mean his diary. So the assassin leaves and he's walking through the alleys, but those two guys that showed up after him start appearing like everywhere, like teleporting around and cutting them off in every corner. Oh, I was so excited. I was like, if these guys breathe fire on him, I'm going to watch this movie every day for the rest of my life. Oh, spoiler alert.

I would spend the entire movie waiting for these assholes to breathe fucking fire and they never would. But yes, that is who it is, right? We picked that up right away. And we should point out like, okay, so for people who are not familiar with end times theology and shit and who don't know all the weird little revelation things that are supposed to read a book. Yeah, right?

Watch 27 of the movies that we watched. So we're going to be moving through a lot of that very quickly in this movie. Part of that's because we've done 20 fucking seven of these movies before, right? But also part of it is because there's just no god damn way with as much Shit as they're trying to shoehorn into this movie that will be able to go into the detail of everything So just trust us when we say stuff like and then the fire breathing juice show up and you're like what the fuck do you guys talking about you Gotta just trust us. That's part of n times theology, okay? Everybody just pause and read every 18th word

in the Bible. Listen to every six word of this podcast, you get the secret message. What I love about having watched 27 of these is we get to see where each individual crazy Christian filmmaker was like, well, I'm not gonna have them actually breathe fire. That would be silly.

Yes, exactly, exactly, right. Well, I'm not gonna have them actually breathe fire. That right. Silly. Yes, exactly. Exactly. Right. Well, it's not actually gonna be a scorpion horse. Log is that it looks stupid. So yeah, right. So he walks away. But the fire breathing shoes confront him and they're like, who could he boogity?

And he's like, oh, you guys gonna kill me? And then like, no, you can go. We just wanted to go to boogity boogity. Yeah. Oh, boogity boogity. All right. And then we get the fucking title Omega code. All right. So it's time to introduce our main character, which we're going to do by having a fucking news reporter standing outside going inside of this building is an

interview where someone's about to interview the main character and then we cut to the interview we're going we're about to meet the main character. Now, I will say this is where watching 27 of these movies worked against us because people liked him. So all of our notes are this guy's the fucking antichrist. Yes. You want to win everybody likes it ever more? The fucking antichrist. I know an antichrist when I've seen one, right?

It's my 27th, any Christ. Well, but if you think about it, E, like, because both of us had all of our notes at first, like, oh, they're clapping, he must be the auntie. Like, they're clapping and he doesn't have a cross around his neck. He's the antichrist. But we should have known better, man. He didn't even have a European accent, right?

That's fair. So that was it. It was a dead fucking giveaway, but he didn't have a globalist accent. Yeah. was a dead fucking giveaway. But you didn't have a globalist accent. Yeah, but so this character is a world renowned speaker. So he comes out to do this like daytime TV opera style interview. And he immediately starts leaping over the couch.

Like, oh, yeah, no couch jumping on daytime TV. Great way to endearing yourself to the American public. It works out very well. I am energetic and likable. Hello, everybody. And I loved the host at this point of the show, who was just like, all right, you're the fucking. Tom Cruise talking about Adderall, just fucking relash man. And every time he's so he finally sits down on the couch to talk, but then every time he's about to make a point, he stands up dramatically and stairs directly at the camera and talks.

He's like, just don't stand up each time you talk. You can just say something. It's like Eli at a live show. Just say something. And I will say, I love this character's journey because she will hate the protagonist for the entire movie, right? What's going on? Yes, and the movie formula is, oh, I don't care for you.

You're big and brash, but then he wins or over and they become a super team or fall in love. Nope. She will spend the whole movie being like, oh my god, I hate you. I hate you so goddamn much. I support her entirely. Exactly. And that's the thing. So do you.

This guy has all the likeability of Tom Brady. And also, okay. So I know I have said lazy as possible exposition before, right? And I'd like to rescind all of the other times I said that because in this movie, one character literally turns to another character and says explain to our audience with the Bible code. In the movie. Sorry. Indent paragraph. Don't say inden. We're centering this anyway. Yeah. So he's like, well, yeah, the Bible code is all the weird

shit that we can make up when we pretend the Bible is a word fight. And he's like, well, yeah, the Bible code is all the weird shit that we can make up when we pretend the Bible is a word fight. And she's like, well, tell us about that last scene. What, what that was at all about? And this is where he explains that the Torah tells us about a bunch of very important things in history, including Hitler and the Holocaust. Yeah, but in like super difficult tricky code. That's so to dick me. I got all right.

So God was watching the Holocaust happen, which he created. And he was like, all right guys, it's in the fucking code. Like, you should be, I got this. You're gonna run. Ooh, probably should have put that one on a Saturday, huh? That's me. But you guys to be good at math.

Yeah, and so he's like, so what? Tell us about that guy that got killed in the opening scene. And he's like, yeah, so Rostinburg believed that the Bible was a holographic computer program. And I'm like, well, it isn't, right? So he was wrong. No, moving on. How would that even be? Right.

Yeah, exactly. They don't even know because they try to explain it. And they're like, well, it's, uh, so, you know, holographic, that's, uh, three dimensions. We just need to map the Bible in 3D, which we, in the future, we will achieve a third dimension like soon. And we will do that. I think they think they solve that because later we will see the Bible code and it's in

like, it does like swooshy screensaver spin around texts. And I think they were like, God, at holographic computer program nailed it. Yeah. No, that's exactly it. That's exactly it. They're going to spiral it like DNA. And they're going to be like, oh, right. exactly it. That's exactly it. They're gonna spiral it like DNA and they're gonna be like oh right cuz but because God speaks in DNA That makes perfect sense

Just God being like GT a There's your Bible code right there. Yeah, and oh, there's a great bit here too We're the chick is interviewing our main characters. She says, but you believe in the Bible code, but you don't believe in the Bible. What gives? And then like he and the audience all have a good laugh and how silly the love of Jesus is, right? And he has a flashback here.

You dead mom. So this movie is speeding through Christian movie, Bingo. Just this going for an all square. Yeah. Right. No, he immediately says, well, yeah, I'm an atheist because my mom was Christian and then died in a car accident. I'm like, get car accident. Okay.

It was at her cancer. Okay. Did the camera show my doodly do just now? Let's go to the clip of my mom dying. Okay. He's an atheist who believes the Bible tells the future for secular reason. Yeah, what the fuck do you believe? It's just a really, really good book that happens to have a holographic computer program.

Strartanary claims. All right, so now we cut to the bad guys. Well, we cut to a bunch of bullshit movie computers scanning them by well, these movie computers are so amazing. What are they all doing? Also, this movie was made in 1999 and the computers will go from a 1993 laptop to the room-filling computers they use to launch us to the moon. Right.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. All right. So, but we learn here that they're missing the last few pages of the secret decoding diary that they're going to eat, right? They realize that they have to go find the two men from the alleyway that came across Rostinburg's body after they got it. Hold on, the last page of Space Invaders, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, computer programs work that you can do it up to a certain point like the game assignment says. All right, here's 99 hundreds of a computer program.

Well, I love to because this movie keeps showing us what the Bible code is because they're like the whole time this computer is going to be churning out like decoded messages from the Bible. That's what the computers are supposed to be doing, right? And so they keep showing us as a vehicle in the movie, like, you know, the way that the scenes introduced in clerks, they'll show us like the printout for the Bible code for that moment. And it'll always be some coded bullshit fortune cookie as thing, running a riddle, right? So like for this one, the code that just comes out is like rebirth of an empire. And I'm like, well, if that happens at any point in history, the Bible nailed it, huh?

She's also the codes. And I don't know if this is supposed to happen before or after because the timeline in this movie is very confusing, but the codes will almost always happen after the events. So in my head, there was a running narrative of just like Steve takes a wet shit on Thursday, just as Steve's getting out of the bathroom. Like, oh man. Can we code a little faster? Totally.

And this is where they show us the visualization of the holographic 3D and A version. And one of the guys in the computer room is like, all right. So you made it spy like if you read the guys in the computer room is like all right, so you made it Like if you read the Bible in a spiral it The other computer guys like no, no, I just like how it's all twisty You want I can get fish and flying toasters on there too you want some flying toasters? Huh? No, what new information could possibly be gleaned from spinning each line a little bit. Yeah.

So, okay. Now, we cut over to Rome at this point. And here's how highly they think of their audience. They show us the Colosseum and then the word Rome. Beers, right? That's right. That's right. Thanks.

Got it. Anything in that Bible code about Rome in 2020? No, no, no, no, no. So. Thanks got it anything in that Bible code about Rome in 2020 Alright, so our hero Gillin Lane is the character's name He's showing up at an auction being run by Stone Alexander and we know this because a newscaster is standing there telling us about it as the scene opens up. She might as well be telling Gillen Lanez. We're like, here I am with Gillen Lane. Hello, Gillen Lane.

You're at a party. Action news. Yes. Oh, we're done. Okay. I am going into the party now. Do you want to announce it? And scene. Oh, and this is where Michael

Ironside shows up. If you don't recognize the name, you would absolutely recognize the actor. He looks so mad to be in. Well, the fact that he looks so mad is the reason he's in so many movies, right? But yeah, yeah, no, this is a paycheck dammit. So, but this is also, of course, where we meet the real anti-Christ, we know because he's got a European accent. He is the chairman of the UN, I guess, king of Europe. Yeah. And I love that this is so fucking stupid. This is how bad the writers are for this fucking movie.

They needed him to have done some big humanitarian thing They could like you know because that's what the anti-Christ theology demands So what they came up with is he solves all of hunger and thirst Pretty solid On his team for sure, but don't worry because God's gonna Kill all of his followers. What sorry? Yeah I just loved it at some point in the writers room somebody's like what if he cured all of the hunger and seems like I feel like we need more than that

What if he also invents distilled water? Well, there you go. Okay. All right. But this is, of course, where the protagonist and the antagonist meet for the first time, because for reasons unknown, Dr. Happy thoughts needs to like gain an audience with the chairman of the EU. And when he meets him, it's like he he's gonna confront him about something in the first half of his line, but that's not what the second half of his line is about so he's excuse me mr. chairman sorry yelling hi Hello the the antichrist then it says ah

Gillin Lane are you going to help us raise the roof? I know this movie came out in 1999, but I got a real kick out of here in Andy Christ. Say raise the roof. We need more super villains who use outdated catchphrases. Amen. Heh. Action Jackson.

Now that I've caught you, I can finally rid myself of your nuisance and unleash my master plan. You'll never get away with it, Scar. The UN will never about you. Ah, that's where you're wrong, Mr. Jackson. I think that with the money I've stolen from Fort Knox, you'll find the nations of the world. Think my plan is quite dope. I'm sorry, did you say dope? Yeah, you know, dope. Like, cooler or fat with a with a pH. Yeah, no, I know I just I haven't heard anybody use that expression in so long. Are people not saying dope anymore?

No. Electro. Yeah. Are people not saying dope anymore? No sir, no sir, nobody says that. Why didn't someone tell me about this, huh? Now I look like an idiot in front of Action Jackson. This is so not cash money.

Sir? Wait, seriously, did you just say cash money? Yeah, I like that. That's true. If you're about to tell me that cash money is out, I'm gonna throw you both in love. No, no, no, cash money is,, well, I say it all the time. I say it all the time. Dope. Okay. I mean, good, good that that is still around.

Exactly. That's what it's really forgot all the movies, the movie. We will have that. And the bit with the cat chasing the laser around because that's the quality. Yeah. But this doesn't work out very well that the president of the king of Europe has to go. So he leaves and the reporter lady who interviewed Gillen Lane at the beginning of the movie is now there. She might as well introduce herself as a reporter. I am here. In the movie scene starts me talk. Yeah. So they chatted a little bit. They try to make a, a meaningful conversation out of this. Like, Hey, man, who was his assistant? Was it, wasn't he in total recall?

You have to find Chase Arnold in total recall. He's in the starship troopers too, yeah. So oh, and then there's that weird moment We're like to strap on her dress breaks and they're trying to go for sexy, but it's it's just not okay Okay, I must know did I see this wrong? her strap over her shoulder from her dress breaks and Gillian Lane pulls and Gillen Lane holds a dress strap out of his dress. Is that he keeps there?

Or for this type of situation? A name tag, it's very unclear. Yeah, okay, so this is part of the, where we were watching the Blur a VHS version on YouTube thing probably didn't help out. Cause I thought it was a safety pin or something, but then she goes to walk away and there's some weird thing on her dress and you can't tell what it is So they were going for sexy and comedy here. That's the creepiest thing I've ever fucking seen

Even if it was just a safety pin that's fucking you carry a safety pin to do this I Virtually always carry a safety pin Yeah, I got one of my wallet. Yeah, so okay, oh and then clops care demon horse I've virtually always carried a safety pin. I'm such a badass. Do you? Yeah. I got one in my wallet. Yeah. So, okay.

Oh, and then clopscare demon horse. Right. And I just have to point this out to, because again, like I said, we're periodically going to come back to the computer decoding the Bible. And this is the kind of dumb shit we're going to get. The Bible code tells us at this point single lane leads the way and that's because this character's name is Gillian Lane and he's gonna lead the way. So even once it's decoded it's just a bunch of useless shit. Imagine how useless that would

have been to anyone who had decoded it at any other time and any other movie, right? Right. Right. Without these scenes interspersed, it is total nonsense. Lois Lane shows up. Okay, I'm the protagonist. Now I'm actually going to get out of the fucking way. Really, really excited for the movie, the Bible code code where they figure out this code.

Yeah, exactly. Right. Yeah. First code. All right. So then we check back in on the Antichrist, we're in the Antichrist's office. And of course, because he's a bad guy, he watches a number of televisions at the same time. Yep.

And he's just explaining to his minions like how evil, but not evil he is. He's like, yeah, I, you know, I became king of Europe and I did move into a vampire castle. But don't make a fool of fool. It's an awesome castle. I dress in mostly all black, but that's the idea. I have a European accent. This is, you know, you're, you're making a thing of it. I was speaking French when you came in and that is the language of evil. But yes, yes.

Hey, computer guy. Can you turn down the computer noise thing? It's crazy in here. I can't talk. I'm trying to talk only with doing an evil plan. Are you serious? Who did that? It's the little gear. Yeah, the gear and then just turn it down all the way. The gear? Yeah. I'm going to unblood the router. And so, okay, then we get Gillen going to his wife.

So we have to establish that Gillen is having problems with his wife because he has a career, what an asshole, right? So he shows up in his wife's like, I'm mad at you, he's like, well, here's one flower. And she's like, you cheap fucking bastard. Where's the other 11? Yeah. He does this thing where he's like a super good dad

because he's the protagonist. He's like, here's some tickle spiders. And I wrote in my notes as a joke. Oh, does mom want tickle spiders and then In a totally straight piece of dialogue when the daughter walks away. She's like never give me fucking tickle spiders It's so weird. I want you to treat me like you treat your nine-year-old daughter. Right. Yeah, exactly Yeah, mom is so jealous of all the tickles spiders the daughters get and she's like, you motherfucker, you're always like the kid. Son of a bitch.

She might as well be like, okay, but what was the sexual tension in the last scene with reporter lady then because, all right, either romantic interest and he's like, I don't know. I'll see you in act three. I'll care about you then. We sure do have marital problems, but they're temporarily solved now, right? Ha, ha, ha, ha. All right, so, and then meanwhile,

the bad guys learn from the Bible code that, and I quote, houses of Isaac and Ishmael torn in terror. I really wanted the guys to take that out of the thing and be like, oh, well, check. That's done. That is done. Yeah. Does that Judaism and Islam are going to have a conflict? Huh. We're we're we've got to get ahead of this. Let's get ahead.

And then I love that there's a printer too. I don't know. Like, so they get these little tiny snippets of Bible code crunched by their visualization, Geist Graphic. And then they're like, yeah, you know what, I'm going to print this and put it in the scrapbook. There's a call paper. And each sentence gets its own page. It's like wildly wasteful. Yeah. But so apparently though that the Bible said that there was going to be conflict between the Muslims and Jews and they thought, that's a good idea. We should try to get some of that.

So they instigate a little by blowing up the dome of the rock and the temple of Jerusalem, right? Yeah, the temple wall, the, yeah. And they have these giant comic dynamite based bombs. I don't mind what the, yeah. Yeah. And they have these giant comic dynamite based bombs. I don't know what's, yeah, well, as long as there isn't a roadwarder around this plan is flawless. As long as Islam steps on the X, yeah. So yeah, so we cut to the reporter lady.

Now, I want to know her job description, right? Because we've seen her doing a daytime TV interview. She was apparently at that auction just for shits and giggles. And now she's going live from the fucking temple mount. Who the hell knows? Yeah, no. Her business card says reporter lady television. But she's just about to go live from Jerusalem when explosion. It's so good.

He's like, I'm here live at the dome of the rock. Nothing ever goes wrong here. To do a story about a local cat who can dance. But then the fucking dome just just does. This is nuts. do I do both? Yeah, there has literally been no effort so far to explain why she has been at all the major plot points and there never will be, right? I do love though that when she starts reporting on it, she goes, behind me are the raging flames of blah, blah, blah, blah, but you can see there aren't any flames. Yeah, right. So she's almost like, well, not rage.

We didn't have the budget for raging flames. But behind me is the CGI smoke that is some bright and 99 general bright. See, yes. So yeah, so the news is telling us that Israel and Palestine are at each other's throats and Stone Alexander is trying to s darn us to make peace. And I'm like, yeah, only there was some way of expressing what the characters in your movie were doing other than having a newscast to tell us about it.

Yeah. And we're seeing other news sources right after that being like, yep, the world economy is in free fall since 10 seconds ago when that bomb happened. And well, you know, we're probably going to need a one world currency and a micro trip in your arms. So spoilers. I was joking about that, but you thought you were joking about that anyway. So yeah, so we cut the gallon. He's watching, you know, exposition TV here at his wife's place. And then they have some like, oh, we're almost over our marital problems. Just as long as Stone, Alex, Inter doesn't invite you to a world peace summit next week. I got invited to.

God damn it. And the wife is so mad here. Yeah, she's she's gonna ask whole about it. She's like, fuck your stupid UN summit. You said, you said we're gonna go to bedbath and be on this weekend. You're missing bingo night for the UN. You are the villain for the world. He's summit.

The fucking chairman of the European Union told me that he needed my help with the world peace summit and you're gonna go like, well, fuck, we had fucking plans for that. Let me ask you a question. If you had three wishes, what would they be? Well, bed, bath, and beyond. Okay, you know what? This is maybe a sample. This is.

You know who gets no more tickle spiders? Exactly. This is what I'm talking about. So we fade in on the anti-grace office. The news, of course, is telling us that he's still plugging away at the Middle East, feasting. I love that the news is like, in case you're curious, in case you're curious, that's still what this character is doing. Yeah. And I love this guy's fucking office. So we already know it's a vampire castle.

Yes, right. Yeah. But now we're like zoomed in on like his big desk. So clearly, when he planned this all out, he was talking to his minions with some more and he was like, no, okay, well, now I'm in King of Europe. I will need a glass globe being held in a golden globe. Glass globe. Gold globe, obviously, obviously. Steve got that to get it. And see your pen come out. Okay. Well, besides Steve, because he's not doing that great so far, I also need at least four

other guys to stand off to the side of my desk, mostly just stand there. Yeah, if you can menace, if you can menace there a little bit. And then who been fucking Gillin Lane comes in and does what I can only imagine Jared Kushner does every time he walks in on anything related to Middle East peace, right? He has that like step in moment where he's like, everybody's like, oh, how will we get these railies to come back to the table? And he's like, I know. You know, and he has this like whole a doc moment with the, with the main character, with

a bad guy rather than the bad guy. He's like, yep, that guy's going to be my assistant now, right? Yeah. And and it's like, guys, okay, you gotta announce people so they don't just come in and do like Jared every time he comes in, he does a surprise speech like that. So I'm not just, I have four of you just for the moment.

And then they have this amazing, this writer goes for history moment. Hey, you know it worked out really great. The Roman Empire. Okay, that's not a joke. They literally say, yeah. So the Pax Romano was like the greatest thing that ever happened in history and nothing went wrong for anyone. So we're going to repeat that. Yeah. Right. They described that as 200 years of world peace. I'm like, well, except for the wars. He's peaceful for the people that didn't get killed in the wars. I guess is a weird way to say it. This is Brian Kemp. He's my Roman history teacher. I don't know. He's got a similar thing going on in his home. Stay right now. Yeah. Well, I don't know. The Punic Wars were stopped by the Spanish flu.

I don't know if you guys know that or not, but yeah, exactly. So yes, so they talk about that and the main character, Gillin Lane goes, yeah, you could be a new Caesar to usher in a new world piece. Like, yeah, Caesar and peace, peanut butter and Shelley, right? Dare, man. Yeah, that makes perfect sense from a historical perspective. He actually says you need to be like Gandhi like Martin Luther King Jr. like Caesar those who were in his name in history right like that and I love for whatever reason while they're doing this

talk they're circling the stupid fucking table that they have in the film. Yeah. Like weird circling like way to invest it in it. And though you, one guys, are you following me around in the circle? Are you following me? Am I following you? Oh, the sexual tension between these two characters is THEN!

Oh, and the antichrist doesn't explain at this point that he has daddy issues. is Oh, and the antichrist doesn't explain at this point that he has daddy issues that'll come back in a wonderful way Is it any christ is he's like my father beat my mother as a drunk and I'm just picturing the devil and a wife beaters stumbling over to his throne I want to watch family feud But Satan's to watch family feud, but I'm going to watch family feud. I'm going to watch family feud. Look, he's giving the keys. I don't like that. It's not a race thing. It's not a race thing. Get his black. What? All right. so now that... Raycombs killed himself. For reasons known only to the movie, I'm here on Villeneuve United.

I guess we can pause for a quick break, but we're going to be back soon with even more The Omega Co. Hi, I'm Noah Luzians. And I'm Eli Bosnick. You know, when we talk about this week's sponsor Raycon Earbuds, we could list off its features and benefits. Like that Raycon Earbuds started about half the price of any other premium wireless earbuds on the market and that they sound just as amazing as the other top audio brands that you know. Or that their newest model, the everyday E25 Earbuds, are their best ones yet with six hours of playtime, seamless Bluetooth pairing, more bass,

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I like them. They're good for you. And then I said to him, say that to my face. You didn't. No, I didn't. I just called on another guy, but I should have. I should have. Um, I'm sorry, Mr. God.

Hey, Tyler, what's up, big guy? Okay. Yeah. It's about your Bible code idea. Oh, yeah. I forgot. Oh, I totally forgot about that. How's that going? Uh, not well at all, sir. The history stuff. It blends in. Okay. But towards the end, you have codes like two guys are going to talk and some rabbi dies. Yeah, those are both must haves. Must haves. Okay, but it's pretty tricky to work into the book like the Princess die thing, which is not negotiable. Right. Yeah. So, so

the only way for us to keep that in the book is to put in a bunch of stuff about murdering witches. And I don't need to tell you this, but that's gonna cause thousands and thousands of deaths for no real reason. I mean, if you wanna make an omelet, am I right? Okay, I'll get right on it. Oh, speaking of omelets, by the way.

Oh my god, Denys. Oh my god, you read my mind, yes, Denny's are you still banned from the one in York? Oh very much yes, okay then And we're back for more of this shit when we last left off Gillen Just got a new job is the antichrist's fluffer and we're gonna open up now with him leaving his wife is like I'll be back next April you Uh, you know, don't stay up message. Hey, you just want to check in. Hope Bingo night was fun.

Anyway, I'm the new ambassador for the Antichrist, so I won't be there. Enjoy the pop up book though, right? Huh? But it's still, it's not, he doesn't know it's the Antichrist. It's like, yeah, I'm saving the world, literally doing it now. Right. But I promised, you know,'s the Antichrist. It's like, yeah, I'm saving the world, literally doing it now. Right. But I promised, you know, we'd have a call. So there it is.

Sorry, you have to wait on watching umbrella academy for another week, but I'm saving the world. So. All right. And so, yeah, so they set off on a worldwide peace tour. We know because the news tells us about that. Also, the news also tells us that the stock market's gone crazy with Stone, Alexander's new idea about abolishing all the currencies and switching to a one

world economy. Investors love it when you dissolve all the currencies. This is so much simpler. It inspires a lot of investor confidence. The market's up. Yeah. That's how that works. This is almost as good as Inspires a lot of investor confidence in the market stuff. Yeah, that's how that works. This is almost as good as the Bitcoin. Forex market is fucked, but the stock market is doing great.

I also love the idea that the president of the UN could just bring fucking Dr. Phil around and people would be like psyched about that. Oh, okay, well in that case, let's dissolve our currency. Coffee and non shows up. And now the guy who wrote men are from women, women are from Venus. Let's do a little bit. Who wants to do a fire call walk here at the U.S.?

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, and also, so the news is like, Hey, you know, so they went out on a piece tour, the one world government with the one economy. Oh, also we should probably mention the two guys from the alley have grown, you know, have gathered quite a following. That's on the news. It shows us that the guys are talking like 24 dudes. Why would that be on the news? I would get a better crowd if I was at Jerusalem and started fucking juggling. But no, they're going to mention that shit on the news as well.

The story is two guys standing next to a wall. Yep, yeah, talking to people. Yeah, exactly. Because again, this movie has no idea how to get anything into the story without having it mentioned on the news. Have them breathe fire. It's in the book. God damn it.

Also, by the way, it lest we forget two of our characters are looking for these guys. They still will be later, right? The news knows apparently they 11 TVs that the Annie Christ watch doesn't have this channel. Damn, I cast. I knew I shouldn't have put on Rachel Ray. Jesus, this is how lazy it is. At the end of this whole fucking thing, we get another newscaster. It's like, all right, so they're done with their piece tour, but Gillin is not going home

to his family. Interesting. He's going to hang out at the vampire castle a little longer. So, yes, so we cut to that. Gillin is chilling at the castle, and this is where he gets the phone call from the guy who tells him he needs to stop the summit. I would like to tell you all the bad guy secrets. Tomorrow at two, not now.

Yeah, not now when we're talking on the phone. Where do you want to meet tomorrow? Um, can we meet at the outdoor mask circus? Sorry. Sorry. Um, we've never met in person. You want to meet at a mask circus? Yeah.

Yeah. Um, I was going to say the shooting range right by the targets, but I think we have a throw. Okay. Okay. What a bit. No. All right. I'm a little safer. Oh, yeah. Right.

So he goes to meet this guy that does mysterious guy who's going to tell him all the secret plans at the fucking outdoor mask circus. But damn, if he doesn't get shot, right? As he gets his first word out, it's get a,

get a voice over of killing telling the antichrist about this guy yeah that we know why the antichrist sets him up to get care where is this movie rushing to that they introduce a voice over for a scene they couldn't buy nothing happens movie you've got time for that scene right right also this scene doesn't matter to anything but gillin like just as the guy gets up to him, he says,

Hey, I'm and then he hands him an envelope and gets shot. Right. And then we got to Michael Iyer and said going like, Nailed it by a clown sniper, which means that assassin was like, Oh, they're meeting at the mass circus. I'll dress up as a clown that way I can really blend in. And the antichrist wasn't like I Mean there'll be people dressed normally It doesn't make you less suspicious if your dress is a clown

You're gonna pull out a big handgun and shoot a man it never ever Less suspicious when I keep telling you that hey, sir. Is that a sniper rifle? What I'm a clown, okay? He's a clown. Do you want, sir, is that a sniper rifle? Boop. Boop. What? I'm a clown, okay. He's a clown. Do you want a dog, a giraffe, or a sniper rifle? So.

All right, so, so Gillin takes the envelope back to stone. God damn it, I hate that I wrote that sentence. And it, it contains evil Bible code printouts, right? Yep. I love that, like, at least a couple of them are things that the Antichrist said the other day. So apparently he's just passing those offices on homework. I love that.

I like that the Antichrist asks him to. He's like, so you didn't like, you didn't really learn anything. He didn't explain anything about the movie, the prophet. No? No? That's. All right.

All right then. Well, I guess we're good. So they go off to their world peace summit again, a different one. I don't know who the fuck knows. But at this point, Gillin goes in there and he tells those Jews and Muslims what's what and they secure a seven year peace treaty. Yeah. We didn't realize that all we needed for seven years of peace in

the Middle East was a coffee is for closer speech. Damn it, get on it, Kushner. Okay, but these are the points of the piece deal that got negotiated. Palestine is going to be a completely independent state. Israel was super duper cool about that. We're like that. Love it, yeah. And you know, just to ice gun the cake, the fighting will end mostly because we're remaking two buildings.

One Jewish one and one Muslim one. You're doing it. Jewish one. They're gonna Tumbo. They're gonna Tumbo. But we're gonna put tape down the moon. Yes, we're gonna put tape down the middle of the temple mount. Yes, exactly.

This movie is about how the Bible is a holographic computer program that can tell the future. And the least realistic thing about it is that the Palestinians in Israel is would be happy with this deal. We get Monday, Friday. Every okay. Totally. Totally. So your grandfather murdered my grandfather. But like, it's good. It's good. It's good.

It's good. All right. So, but after the announcement, reporter lady, remember her, she walks up to Gellin and she's like, listen to me carefully. Your life is in danger. And he's like, it to me carefully, your life is in danger. And he's like, pfft, danger. He's the best. Stupid.

She says, you're gonna get murdered. I have a message from some magical prophets. And he's like, okay, is that the message that I'm gonna get murdered? No, no, no, I'm seeing how it sounded like, okay, sorry, because they are prophets. Yeah, you would get murdered. No, they said, follow the pages of blood. Yeah, but he's not taking her seriously in this sense.

So she's like, your life is in danger. And he's like, ah, classic joke. No, you're live is in danger. And she's like, follow the pages of blood. And he's like, ooh, pigs in a blanket. You know, they don't have these in the United States sometimes. But that's the last time I think I've ever said all the events. I love to, so we very quickly have to point this out.

We've got back to the computer that's printing out the Bible code or whatever. And it says, 10 horns, you night world beast. And I'm like, that's already in the fucking Bible, right? Like it's a Bible code code. Right. It just said that. They do that. And they do this for the rest of the

movie. They like forgot to like encode their own fucking title code and they're just like right. All right. Now it's it'll I guess it'll just print stuff that's just stuff that it just says they're out. Right. Yeah. For this part of the code, you skip not at all. Right. Yeah. Exactly. Which again, in the book, occasionally they did. Yeah. So, okay. Oh, and then we have the part where we announced this stone Alexander announces this big world piece. And I have to point this out because it's so goddamn stupid. He's like, in order to secure the piece, I gave everyone my anti-thirst and anti-starring recipes and quote, a technology that neutralizes atomic weaponry.

Wait a second. Let me finish. I know ending thirst and I really thought that was going to clinch it for you guys, but you asked for more. Atomic weapons are canceled. I just love the. They didn't even try, right? They didn't even try to come up with just a technology that neutralizes the zero atoms. They didn't even try, right? They didn't even try to come up.

They just all technology that neutralize the atomic. I made Adam's unsplitable with my machine. It uses electricity and metal, probably. It's tiny, little chain mail armor for the atoms you see. Yeah, whatever, but yeah, apparently they have that too. And meanwhile, so like, of course, in order to do this, we have need a one-world government. And a debate is taking place all over the world about losing national sovereignty. And we learned that because on the news,

two people are painting the last one. I can't believe what this movie is about. Well, it is about that time. More at 11. I can't believe what this movie is about. Well, it is about that. More than 11. Oh, and the Bible code tells us at this point, the quote, a Roma of Eden in chance air three and one half years. Oh, I really wanted a newscaster to expose that for us. People all over the world are wondering wondering what the fuck is that smell?

Is sweaty people fucking it smells like sweat and sex in Eden. All right, so then we cut to one year later, which we know because it says one year later on the screen and the newscaster cuts in to say it's been one year since the peace deal was last brokered in that other scene. Okay, two and a half years of Eden smell left everybody. This movie's like being told the entire Lord of the Rings saga by a toddler. Well, they get to the volcano, but smiego, who's also, and then they're eagles. Can you just don't go up at the end of each thing? Can you just talk?

Is that right now? It goes right in. Wow. So then we have the moment where like, uh, Gillen has to follow reporter ladies advice about following the pages of blood. Keep in mind, that was a year ago. All right. This movie has already lost track of that. He's sitting

around in the vampire castle. He's like, wait, she said follow the pages of blood a year and a day ago. I think I should follow up on that. I got really distracted by the smell of Eden. It's like that's been to year just like with it. But you know what she did say that code thing I guess I'm gonna go Follow the pages of blood now I'm gonna wander around the castle looking for secret passages like I'm on Simon's fucking questers. Yeah, but it works It's so right. It's beautiful. How dumb this movie stumbles into its own plot It's just like walking around a castle looking for the following blood page. Oh, I found the pages of blood.

This guy has a pages of blood cave. He's been there for a year and this place is so obvious. I'm surprised he hasn't found it just like going to the kitchen in the middle of the night. he hasn't found it just like going to the kitchen in the middle of the night. Yeah. So he comes across the Bible decoding room. And he's looking to do all of the codes and shit. At the same time, we cut to the Annie Christ and Michael Ironside, having there was Hitler really a bad guy. If you think about it, conversation.

Yeah. Right. And they ask the question about like, what does this ruin our entire movie? The idea of free will and prophecy. Like, do you think we have free will? And if so, should we use it? I mean, think about Hitler and my Clark side's like, I don't know, I'm just like a henchman dude. This is this is where they introduced the weird like relationship dynamic between them, where he's like a chairman, like the new guy more than me. Yes. I dressed up as a clown and killed that guy. Yeah. So, but this is where they looked out at their camera.

They realized that Gillen has bound their secret decoding room and they got to go take care of it. So we put the sign. Fuck, he found our supercomputer. Did we leave our evil Bible supercomputer unlocked again? We got a... That's the master lock for that door. I even password one, two, three would be better

than what we've got, guys, come on. I knew if we connected it to the pages of blood cave, this was gonna somehow come around by the system, that's what it's gonna be. It's a separate thing. We knew if we connected the pages of blood cave, this was gonna somehow come around by the stuff that we put in just a separate thing. We really shouldn't have had that series of pictographs that lead the way. Cause yeah, I mean, we had like arrows

and it would bring you right there. Now I know what that is. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. What were we even thinking? Why do we even have a pages of blood cave? What does that even mean to them? So they have a layer castle, I guess. So then, so Michael Ironside goes into, to kill him, right?

He has his gun out and he's like, I'm gonna kill you. And right before he kills him, the antichrist shows up as his not so fast, you don't get to kill him. He's like, man, this is fucking just like total recall all over again. Let me guess you have some fucking super plan or something. He's like, yes, I have a super plan.

And of course, this leads to Michael Irons, I get in the so jealous that he shoots any Christ in the head. Right? Oh, it's so good. Quick, he shot him with my gun. I love this whole moment. So first he gets mad, like you're saying, he gets like jealous mad.

He's like, you said I could be the management profit. I'm going to be part of the prophecy thing. And then he fires the gun, but he's supposed to be trying to shoot Gillin who's like running away at this point right, but he hits the antichrist by accident in the face or did he do it on purpose? Oh, I thought he was shooting him because he was mad at him for for telling Gillin he got to be the second command. Oh, he was actually shooting his either way mad at him for for telling Gillin he got to be the second command. Oh, he was actually shooting his, but either way, he has this amazing moment. He's like, and I killed the Antichrist fuck fuck fuck fuck stupid stupid dumb. But then he calls security and has Gillin followed by the world of police now.

Yes. Yeah, he tells the police he wants some dead or alive. All the, tell all the police, all of them. I want him dead or even the Chinese ones. Like, just wouldn't make really any sense for them to need. No, if they, they were curious. So, and oh, and then just then the Bible code spits out another printer page that's like somebody's gonna shoot you stone I really wanted another page to print out that was just like oh bean sorry

I sent I say I hit send on the second one oh damn it's fuck and on the second one, damn it, fuck, that's me. I'm glad. And by the way, so when the antichrist gets shot, Gillin cleverly escapes by running away real fast and ducking behind shit here and there, so he'll be fine. I almost went with best worst cop avoidance because he will send this, the majority of the rest of the movie avoidant cops by being like, no.

You're right. You're right. You can't see me. The cops we agreed were playing two hand touch. You only got my jacket. We got my jacket cops. So yeah, so the ambulance shows up. The Annie Christ isn't quite dead, right?

So they run him off to the hospital to see if they could do anything about that shot in the head thing Gillin is running around Rome seeing tall jowas So we haven't really we haven't really discussed this but he has these demonic visions that show up whenever the movie feels like it needs a pop scare Oh, yeah, by the way if the whole thing we were talking about this whole time didn't make any sense now Anyway, if the whole thing we were talking about this whole time didn't make any sense, now we've got to see. Yeah, he sees. Don't worry, those demonic visions are really going to pay off never in this movie.

Yeah, exactly. But somehow he manages to get in touch with reporter lady and she decides to help him. He manages to get in touch with her because all she does in this movie is drive around opportunity and arrive at scene. Yeah, right. Right. She's pulled up in a car and is like, uh, I'm reporting from the scene I'm entering now.

Hello. Yeah. And of course, the anti-Christ flatlines, which apparently this movie thinks they just leave you hooked up to that machine indefinitely afterwards. because they want the moment later where it like it starts beeping again and he's alive. But so much shit happens in the room while he's dead that we have to just sit there and listen to the movie.

The movie forgot that the death. The deep was going the whole time and I was just like is anybody going to respond to that death. The happening for now two minutes in the movie and the actors are distracted by very clearly. The actors keep turning to like each other being like, do you unplug the desk? I feel like there's a doctor or something. I don't want to unplug it.

If I do it, it feels like I killed him, right? You think there'd be a mute button on the desk? That seems like a dangerous button. No, all right. Boom, plug it. I don sorry, ball and plug it. I don't know. I guess it's different in Italy. They're on the metric death beep or something.

I don't know. Yes. So, yeah. So Michael, I heard inside the guy dies and he goes out on the news and he's like, yes, I'm sad to say Stonelix and Riz died. He's just like Buddha and Jesus. Bye, guys, right? Yep.

Also, just tiny thing. Can we talk about the priest who is just over there? The panning shop where ironside is like, and I will arrange you, and no, that I will always follow your mission. And he leaves and there's a priest just like, I'll feel like you wanted to be alone in the room for that, but I was here. As I was saying, death is very difficult thing. I'd like to re oh god, sorry, sorry, check it out. It's not funny. It's not funny.

It was funny. Potry see kind of throw off my red. I get it. No, I'm sick. I'm in my head. I'm in my head. All right. So now, Gillian and late, oh, this is hilarious. So Gillian and the lady reporter have to go find the profits, right? They have to fly on the news plane that is the only way that they can get out of the country without the bad guys fighting out. And so we get reporter lady turning to Gillen and saying, well, what do we do after we go

find the profits in this news plane? Since that's the only way we can get out of the country. I'm like, okay, go back to newscasters. I see why not guys. I see why you needed that. Hello today, we go now to the next part of the movie. Please. So and she asks him, she's like, so how are we going to find the profits?

And he's like, well, they'll be at a, at a wall breathing fire. I don't know. We're probably probably gonna catch the eye, right? That's our fun. You know, the news has really been putting up the mundane shit they do. So we shouldn't have too much of a problem. That's not even coded. That's just you read the sentence. They breathe fire at a wall.

All right, so then we cut back to the antichrist dead body, which is still, it's like that night and it's still hooked up to the heart monitor and has been for hours. They just left the body there in a rod, I guess, but damn it if it doesn't start beeping again. Mmm. Differently. And iron sides walks in and the antichrist is like, come here. Come here, you murder a scamp. Come here, hand. Come here you murder a scamp. All right. Yeah.

Give me your hand. Give me your hand. Nope. Bad. No more shooting. Bad. No, Gays. No shooting.

Oh, and I also have to point out that when the antichrist comes back to life, he sits straight up. That's it. Just a fuck with me. That's not how coming back to life works, by the way. You can't. I was gonna say, we don't know how to come back to life works. And I love that he has like a,

my mom, my mom, well no, what did you say? I'm sorry for shooting you. I'm really good. Just know I am gonna disembowel you when you fail to please. No, this is just my, yeah. Oh, and please, no, he's not mad at him for shooting him

because you know, that's part of the prophecy he's supposed to die and come back to life, right? But he not mad at him for shooting him because you know that's part of the prophecy He's supposed to die and come back to life right but he is mad at him for not finding the goddamn final code yet Right Well, what's great is he follows that he's like when you fail to serve your purposes that is when I will murder you and kill you So did you serve your purpose and he's like oh That So did you serve your purpose and he's like, oh, about that. How serious were you about the whole disemboweling thing?

Past? There's really old computers. Can we get like, from the 70s even? 1999. The matrix was made. Then this, come, come, come, come could come yet come came out this year right now we're just reading the Bible I mean like an apple to eat and read the Bible. We're going to be a supercomputer to break the non code that we've been talking about for the last act. Yeah

because the newest code is seven horns bow to wounded head and we're like yeah seven horns 10 10 crowns we we've already done this yeah. I shot you in the head. I think the computer's broken. I don't know. Oh, there's a great moment here too when they're like part and company here where like, the antichrist is like, do you remember how we met? And Mike Lyerson is like, let's explain it. You killed your dad and I was the priest you confessed to. Just in case anyone was curious in this room that only you and I are in. Let's turn on the news and have somebody play that back. But, but like it was a good thing. Well, he killed his dad in a good way. Yes. Right. Yeah. It shows character. That's what they say here. Yeah. All right. So then we cut over to Gillen and later reporter. There's searching out the fire breathing

shoes. They show up at a creepy abandoned monastery that she suddenly remembered that they would be remember. She was the one asking him how they were going to find them later, but now she knows they're not paying any fucking attention. I love how confused he is here about the plot of the movie he's in as an actor. He's like the profits brought you here after they found you following the explosion that happened right behind your face. And she's like, yep, yep, the ones I met on the street right after that. Yep. Is it conference room? See?

So let's go down. Wait, we're on the east wing. Probably here. And they appear magically. And they're like, hello, fire breathing juice. Sorry, I have to do the Batman thing part of a part of our magic. Look at still and so and also like I love because he says, who are you guys supposed to be?

And they're like, Oh, like if we just say fire breathing juice, it's going to sound silly. So I'm just going to say our names do not matter. Oh, I really wanted him to follow up. Okay. So what? Oh, how will I address you then? Oh, yeah, that'll be hard. Our names do not matter, but we are Harvey and Steve. Yeah. You're like, you just thought of Steve Harvey.

Oh, the racial name. Not the drug devil. Yes. All right, so now that the antichrist is having a summit of all the world leaders, but in his hospital bed to see which ones of them are still loyal to him. Right. But they're all acting like his third grade class came to visit and sign his cat. So what was getting shot like?

Do you actually get to eat all the ice cream you want? Yeah, all the ice cream I wanted. Also I met Alex and the great in a demon flashback doodly do. Yeah, he's like what was it like that? He's like I met Alex and the great. He was super nice. Nice for the new and think he's drunk obviously, but he was super nice. Gay.

What? I don't see that from a judgmental place Down it just the tone Okay, I'm cool. I'm cool Raise the roof don't raise the roof It's not all right Then a news reporter tells us that stone Alexander has back to life and has been, I give you not, appointed chancellor of the world.

And this is where head of Germany, or at least German accent is like, yes, Miss Qualifications are being rich, being cool. I love that guy. And oh, he died and came back to life. So we thought who better than to rule the world. Oh, you're talking about the Duke of operas. The guy who's in charge of one of the ten nations called opera and he's the Duke of it.

Yeah. And then he ends his little speech there saying the king is dead. Long live the king. And everybody in the audience is like, yeah, okay, that's pretty clever. That was good. That was a good one. No, the unbid guys, king of the world. This sounds good.

I love, there's so much convoluted shit in their mythology that virtually the entire movie has to be devoted to news reports about all the convoluted shit. So we only have like eight minutes of plot to the film. All right, so we cut back to Gillin and the reporter lady with the fire breathing juice and the fire breathing juice are like, okay, so this is very important. The end of the world is about to happen. And Gillin is like, yeah, end of the world, Shmende, I just want to clear my name. I didn't shoot the guy. It was Michael Irons side, right? Yeah, they also have this weird moment where

they're like, okay, so you obviously believe in God now, we're magical, fire-breathing Jews. We told you about the Antichrist and him coming back to life and he's like, nah, not convinced and they're like listening. Yeah. I don't know why we're telling you this,

but no matter how much stuff you put in your butt, only Jesus can make you happy. Batman. Yeah. Batman is a disappearance. And this is where Gilland draws the line. He's like, okay, now this is ridiculous. I'm leaving.

Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Wait, this just got silly. All right, so he calls his wife. Now, this is an amazing moment. Again, they didn't even fucking bother. They call his wife and he's like, Hey, I have proof of everything. That's a bold and he's like, hey, I have proof of everything.

That's a bold fucking claim. But he says, I have proof of everything. And I'm trying to email it out to reporters, but Stone keeps intercepting my email. It's his little pong paddle on the internet, kissing front of my pong paddle email. And they bounce back to where they were sent. It's so weird. You can actually see it

They clearly have a hacking program that shows the physical motion They're showing me that screen on my computer just I guess you see this that's a cue right there. That means that what did you get through? Yes, they have this little fucking agent USA map that shows the email moving from like bank with deshty Europe or something. So maybe the subject line shouldn't have been proof of Alexander Bible code conspiracy.

That was just, you know, kind of leading. But that video game is powerful. Oh, it's so fucking stupid. He's like, you know, I have all this problem get my email out. So maybe your friend who works for the NSA can help. You know, the one we never introduced to the movie. And since this conflict doesn't fucking matter

if we didn't have to. Hahaha. Anyway. So yeah, so it's, oh, and then like he calls his wife and she's like, hey, I got that computer program. You set me, it's nothing like you said it was. It turns out that Stone Alexander is a good guy by print collar, print collar. And his immediate response is like, they got to you, didn't they?

Well, I've got to go walk into a trap because that's how the third act happens. Right. All right. Well, that is the most movie like that this movie the third act happens. It's right. All right, well, that is the most movie like that this movie is managed to be so far. So we're going to pause on it up. Nope. But first let me give back to the hard self.

Will they crack the final Bible code in time? What the fuck does that mean? Will the prophetic Jews breathe some fucking fire already? Find out the answers to question one and three when we return for the could have written my notes in my sleep conclusion of the omega code. Hi, I'm Heath then, right? And I'm Eli Bosnick, and we're balding, but you already knew that because, of course, we're podcasters. That's right, Heath. As I started to lose my hair, I told myself,

ah, it's no big deal that I didn't need to go to a doctor that hardly anyone would notice because it can be hard to go to the doctor to talk about hair loss, especially right now, like super duper, especially right now. Like a lot now. Anyways, thanks to science, hair loss can be optional. Hems connects you to FDA approved products to treat hair loss, and they have thousands of happy customers loving their results. Hims will connect you to licensed medical professionals online to answer your questions for free and to see if FDA-approved products to treat hair loss are right for you.

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There it is. No, Tony, I told you, gilk is not a word. If you need a G word, you're going to have to pull it from either seven letters earlier or later. Well, you know what? I didn't make the system, Tony. Knock, knock. Tyler, Tyler, you got a second buddy.

You know, I'm gonna call you back, Tony. Yes, Mr. God. So I know you've been a little bit heavy on the workload this week with the B-Blake code. A Bible. So I still up in there. So sort of smooth things out. I brought a couple of folks who are going to help you. So Tyler, this is the fire breathing juice. Hello. I fire breathing juice.

Yeah, you know, around the end times they're going to show up. They're going to say some vague stuff about the fall of man. And of course they're going to breathe fire. So that'll be fun. Okay. Well, I appreciate it, sir. But exactly how are they going to help in the end times? Well, they're going to die and then come back to life. So that's pretty cool.

Which actually reminds me, is it possible to arrange for our plinths to be air conditioned? Oh, but not too air conditioned. I'm susceptible to codes. Yeah, I'm sure Tyler can work that out for you, buddy. Sure, I tired. Again, I don't wanna seem ungrateful. It just, it look, it seems like you added

an unnecessary set of profits to the end times who aren't gonna change things or help in any way, shape or form. Tyler, these five breathing Jews are our guests and they happen to be very good friends of Jared's. So I need you to make them feel welcome and important during the apocalypse. Okay?

Yes, sir. All right. I'm going to leave you three to it then. All right. So, um, so you guys breathe fire, huh? Uh, I mean, technically it's, uh, acid reflux, but it's a doozy. It's for real. Okay.

It's cold in here. Powerful. It is cold. And we're back for still more of this shit. We're gonna open up with Michael Ironside and his team of computer nerds still unable to crack that final code. Damn it. Guy Trishu and he's like, yep, well, that's all the Bible code we have. I mean, to be fair, it has been printing out like 45 minutes after everything useful. So I don't know. Yeah, exactly. But you know, if we don't know the future, we can't do anything. So that's the thing. Again, the writers are so fucking lazy. He's like, without

the final code, we're back into a corner and like, why? In what just generally can we just like cause the future by doing a thing she's a final code guffin. All right, so like and Gillen and reporter lady now are going to his house in L.A. right? They've they've gone back to L.A. very quickly. So he walks in the house and the daughter's like daddy and the mom's like no honey your daddy's not there you're just having a dream and she goes and she like turns to him and she's like the house is bug they can hear everything even whispers. What was so stupid is that they just start talking. Well but they're whispering though that's And we're hearing this because we're listening in with

the people who have the house bugged. And she writes bug on a piece of paper like they always do in these bugs scenario. I was so rooting for him to be like, booge bug. What? Sorry, bug. Like bug like an insect or like a hearing device. Oh, shit. Oh. That's a very nice drawing of a bug, honey. Let's put it on the fridge that you dreamed about. What?

Now you're going in and out of whispers. That's nothing. Okay. So he's like, all right, quick. Let's get into the mini van and run really fast because many bands are really fast. We can have a chase scene and everything couldn't weigh in. They're like, sure, why not? I got all the options on this arrow star. Let's fucking do this. Let's trick down with a spoiler. Mommy's going to lose the cops while you watch Elmo.

And by the way, this movie has exactly as much car chase as you thought this movie would have, right? Everybody's going perfectly straight. One car gets damaged. They might as well show us them using all the cup holders in the during the car chase and they outrun the cops in a minivan. They lose the cops in their minivan. They lose the cops in their minivan because of that clever red light running. Hello. And then they get out of it the same way he's got an away from the cops throughout this movie, which is he stops

and ducks by and something, right? The cops never thought of stopped. So no, no, the car we're chasing is going. The main event just holds up a newspaper. So, yeah, so they sneak off to his buddy. Now, we met this character early in the movie. We didn't bother to mention it because it was like such a minor scene, but he's friends with a senator. So, they go to the senator's house and the senator's wife takes his family and runs them off somewhere so that they won't get in the way for the rest of the movie right but but the senator calls the and I who the fuck even knows but yes calls to somebody he might as well call

the betrayal hotline hello moving the plot the plot forward. Yes, I'll hold. You're right. Human being. I want a you. I'm trying to move the. Oh my God. I am pressing for representative of the English. Obviously English. This is a US number. God. Damn it. All right. So and he tells any tells the senator like whether waiting around for the betrayal people to show up he's like so uh... anyway what's new with me is that i've been seeing demons they are not hallucinations it's for real though why are you hiding all the sharp objects

it's right and the senator reacts totally normally right he's like oh yet guide the only thing i know about is that he shot a major world leader demons, you say, Hey, I'm going to go into the other room and tell on you. That's my email ring. I got to take this email. All right. All right. So he goes into the bathroom, puts a few locked doors between him and the crazy person and just then the phone rings. And we have that stupid ass movie trope where the guy on the

other end just immediately starts talking doesn't wait for a hello or anything he's like hey I just received your message about selling out your friend Gillin say nothing and I'll continue to assume he can't hear this call what okay anyway the cops are going to be there in ten. And the Gillen hears this sitting here runs away again. And ducks. We run some ducks behind things though, right? Oh God, it's so fucking stupid in this one. This is the one where he runs in front of like the electronic store. No, no, no, just browsing for TVs in a closed store at night. Yeah, and all the normal commerce.

Yep. He's trying to hide from the cops. He looks up and like all of the TVs are showing his face and then he just stands there like a deer and fucking headlights. Not thinking of anything he could do other than stare all panicky into the fucking camera. Is this the news about what's going on right now? I think the actor actually thought that he was being filmed by like a security camera outside the electronic store and was being projected onto all those TVs. So he tries to like not look like himself really hard.

Yeah. Well, one of my racing eyebrow. Yeah. But yeah. So then he, he starts to run again. And it's okay that the cops are in cars and he's on foot because who gives a shit. But then there's a semi truck coming after him. Okay. Yeah. I really, really need you guys to tell me what the fuck happens at this point in the movie. Okay. Okay. So here's what I think the plan was by the anti-Christ and the world of cops. Take me there. They had, you know, the sniper all set up, but as a backup plan, they would run him over with a giant semi truck in this particular alley.

Except that some amount of this was all a dream. Right? Because the semi truck is coming at him and you're thinking, wow, like I think you'd want to vehicle with more acceleration if you were going to run somebody over. Wow, you think you would run either to the left or to the right and not straightforward in this situation. Just as you're thinking all of that and the semi-spairing down on him, he wakes up. I thought he was going to jump into a minivan and like juke the semi truck like Madden.

So, yeah, but so he wakes up reporter ladies there and it's like, oh, it was all a dream. How much of it? Fuck you. Literally fuck you. We will never establish what was and was not a dream there. No idea. Are they're back in Israel? Where he met with the profits? Yes. Yes. So did he never go to LA? I don't fucking know They don't know either. No, they don't know that she says I found you passed out in the street of LA and then brought you to Israel. No questions, please. We've been passed out for about three days. In part of a coma, really, the past. So the fire breathing Jews are there too.

And they're like, hey, we want to give you this. This is the MacGuffin. This is the final code. And he's like, that, we, we want to give you this. This is the Macuffin. This is the final code. And he's like, that doesn't make any sense. There would be one code. Guys, you're also literally profit. Just fucking tell me what happens. Tell me without a code. What happens? Also, we already had a conversation and you Batman vanished. Why didn't you just give me this then? Well, honestly, we forgot and it was one of those things where we got halfway home. Okay. And we were like, we'll see them next Thursday, but then you went to LA.

I don't know what the whole thing was. That was actually a dream. That was actually a dream. But we didn't actually do that. But okay, so now you understand what's happening. Can you just tell me what happens in the world? It's on this piece of paper. So yeah, so they give them the final code they wander off to go breathe fire or something.

And wouldn't you know what, damn it, reporter lady double crosses them the second that they're out of there. And I wanted them to come back and be like, no, but we're magical dummy. Remember, we can, but they didn't know. And she says, she says this line, which is fucking amazing. When he says, you of all people, the person who has hated me at all moments Through this entire movie. How could you double cross me? And she says you should have known Gillan even Satan comes as an angel of light What

Why would I help you this whole time that wouldn't make any sense? I think every the very beginning of the movie like this is literally the movie starts with me hating you who's seen God me hate you although to be fair she does rescue him and take him to Israel to meet with the Jew prophets to get the last code so that she can betray him and bring him back to the Antichrist with the code. Yeah, not from the him back to the Antichrist with the code. Yeah, not from the Jew prophets. Yeah, no, no, it makes perfect sense now. That was not in a dream.

All right, so now we're at the grand opening of the rebuilt Temple of Solomon. So says the news reporter that opens this scene anyway. Oh, my favorite scene in the movie. I have sub-colonic named this scene Satan blows his cover. Yeah. Yeah. People are mad that the Temple of Solomon isn't like built to biblical spec. Just right?

Yeah. Yeah. They're very upset. So yeah, so he goes out to like do his ribbon cutting. He's like, oh, my temple is so awesome. I'm the Antichrist. Oh, fuck, I didn't mean to say. It's so lovely to be here tonight. I have so many people to thank, mostly me because I'm God now. The audience golf claps along for this for way too long. They're like, oh, yes, very good very good Yeah, you're Satan in the end grace Right, but there's the giant pause for a second right when he says so I'm God fuck what I'm Satan got I went big pause too far didn't I too that was too much a little too I got to ease you guys into the I am a living God now don't like I? Like Mike Pence trying to like nail that line

about cutting our meat the other day. Everybody's like, what? Oh, that was the punch line. Good. But yeah, just to be clear, there is literally an awkward pause in response to the Antichrist calling himself God. Like everyone in the room is like,

and it cuts it out front in response to the Antichrist calling himself God. Like everyone in the room is like, ooh. And yeah, it cuts it out front. And an old Jewish guy just tears his shirt open and is like, yeah, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, but then right as he declared himself a living God, the fire breathing Jews show up to custom out Bible style, right?

And what's amazing is they're like, we aren't here to tell you, the fire breathing Jews show up to custom out Bible style right. And what's amazing is they're like we are here to tell you you are nothing in comparison to God because we are prophets and he's like okay if your prophets prove it because I just rebuilt the temple and I have magic powers I came back from the dead and they're like proof is for dickhole. is for dick. Yeah, you want to say, wait, wait, wait, wait, you bring up signs for who wants signs. What? It's so stupid. What he said, so dumb shit. So, yeah, and then, and then everybody just starts shooting everybody, right?

So my glider inside shoots the fire breathing Jews. Yep. Right. There's a big gunfight going on around him. And the antichrist is like, all right, so I want you to display the fire breathing Jews prominently, but tastefully, they're dead bodies so that people know what happens when you fuck with me, all right? Put them on display. Also after party at Applebee.

Don't invite people I don't know. Jerry. So yeah, so then so they're leaving and Michael Irons, I have to break the news to the antichrist that hey, a lot of countries are a little pissy about this, you know, whole I am a living God thing that you did. And he's like, you know what? We're going to nuke those motherfuckers. Everyone of them, you tell, give me a list of who said I was a dick. We said, I'm not gonna nuke that motherfucker. He's like, didn't we have anti-nuclear technology earlier? He's like, we have forgotten entirely about that.

I was taken away. I'll wrap all the atoms right earlier today. And actually, as we're gonna learn in the next scene, his plan is a little dumber than just a nuclear strike. Because he says, at the beginning of the next scene, his plan is a little dumber than just a nuclear strike, because he says, at the beginning of the next scene, he says, I want a swift ground strike, then a nuclear strike. Yeah, right. Yeah.

Right. So, to be like, we'll kind of kill our ground. What? You know what that's on me? What would the speed of the ground strike matter also? Yeah. You know what? Go straight to the nooks, maybe. I don't know.

And then he's like, also, let's just flip on CNN real quick. I'm curious about the news, because, you know, somebody should probably say what's happening. It's been a while. Right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Michael Ironside comes in and he's like, Hey, man, we got some problems.

And he's like, what's going on? And he's like, all of the biblical shit we haven't managed to shoehorn in here. Yeah. Right. They chicken out big time. They go with meteor shower and the chemical composition of the ocean changing, which is supposed to be stars falling out of the sky and the ocean turning to blood. I call bullshit.

I call bullshit a mega code. Go all the way. Right. Give us some scorpion horse locusts. Also, I love the fact that they, where they went with the stars falling to the earth because the news says over three million are dead after a meteor shower hit Europe.

We wait a minute. What? All the. Three million? That was, I mean, they counted that fast. Three million people died from meteors. What? How? Also, just Europe. three million people died from meteors. What? How? Also, just Europe, it just said you didn't hit Northern Africa at all.

Weird. And yeah, they won't even, the fucking handsies who wrote this won't even go all the way to saying that the new molecular structure the oceans turned into is blood Motherfuckers see the problem is when I unwrap the atoms and then the ocean switched it's uh, you know, it's a domino thing It's like there's soft pedaling it. They're like it's different now. It's um Redder Plus side red cross totally doesn't need any donations right now. So yeah, just it's, it's, oh, negative. By the way, it's oh negative. Maybe we can't you were curious the ocean. So, and then also like so, this is where, um, reporter lady shows up, you

know, and she's like, Hey, Annie Christy, it's about to do everything. I've got that final Bible code for you. It's right on this folded up piece of paper full of bad CGI. What is this supposed to be? I don't know. The magic Jews gave him a fake Bible code so that it would prank the antichrist when he looked at it. I don't know. Like it apparently burns his hand or something. Yeah, I think it was the real final code, but it magically burns your hand if you're the

antichrist. And if they had that, why not just give it to him. It does. Why do all of this? Okay, it just says measure twice, cut once. And then the antichrist asks the protagonist to join him in the other room for a whisper fight. Yeah, right, right Yeah, exactly so they're like oh well dammit if I can't pick up the piece of paper and read it and No one else seems willing to try How are we gonna get it? I guess we're just gonna have to punch it out of Gillin

Which is so fucking stupid because like, reporter lady was with him when he got the piece of paper and immediately pulled her gun out. She knows he hasn't looked at it. Anyway, but yeah, they keep punching him and they're like, what's the answer to the thing or whatever, he's like, I don't know when they're like, if you suddenly knew,

I wouldn't have to nuke the Middle East. Guys, I just, I made that shit up to sell a book. Real. What? Yeah. But if I had to guess this would be part of the code. It says whatever's happening. Maybe.

Yeah. I'm right. This could happen. Yes. The code probably says you're going to punch me. Yeah. There it is. Yep.

Check your printer. I're going to punch me. Yeah, there it is. Yep. Check your printer. I bet it says punch again. But then the antichrist gets distracted by his airplanes because he's nine. What he did, jet fighters that were flying by. It practically runs out. Appling. Antichrist got distracted by the air show going on I'm sorry for you.

There's a monster truck rally going on next door. It's not gonna be back for a while. So all right, so they leave. Gillin is now stuck in the cell alone and suddenly the demons come back and he's like, oh no, these effects are bad even for 1999. I mean, we already we had CGI pretty good by them. What? What is happening here?

Cause they sort of like swirl around him and he's like, um, Allah, Buddha Moses. No, still do against Jesus. I don't know. I think those are the things. The day max. Jesus, save me. So I figured this one out, I think, okay,

so it's like lightsaber colors. Lupi yellow dust modes are demons. Lupi purple dust modes are God, right? So these Lupi yellow dust modes are demon dust modes that are just about to eat him. And then he's like, Jesus save me. And they're like, God damn it. He said, Parley, fuck.

I wanted to be like, and okay, that worked. Great. Jesus saved all the other people. Yeah. Damn it. No, okay. We're trying. Everybody gets one.

And just then there's a great earthquake because God couldn't think of any less showy way to get Gilling out of the prison then have a great earthquake. Yeah, and of course the fire breathing Jews have to come back to life But just because that would not be goofy enough looking they have the one of them Unbleed the first Sucks their blood in like a super strange files of Alex Mack or whatever the fuck that. Yes.

And they get picked up by purple dust modes because those are God dust modes, right? And then the cell door earthquake is open for for Gillen. And then, oh, so you're thinking, oh, you know what? He's going to get away by running and ducking behind something, isn't he? But no, not this time. Michael Ironside shows up and pizza fuck up. You know, I enjoy that moment a lot. Me too, yeah.

Just rounds the corner and gets punched in the face. But then the fire breathing Jews show up and they now have post death telekinesis powers. They are, okay, I thought at first that they were genised, but then they forced choke my glider inside the death. So they're safe. Oh, for sure. Yeah. So yeah.

Right. But Gillens, like, okay guys, I mean, thank you. But, you know, if you're magic, maybe, you know, do something before three million people got killed by meteors. I don't know. They're like, yeah, okay, that's a know we're gonna in retrospect.

And we're profit. So it's not dumb to say retrospect. That's it. Noted. Noted. But quick before they batman their way out again, they have to give him the real final Bible code. Sorry about the prank Bible code we gave you earlier. There's literally no reason for us to have done that unless we do everything that was going to be happening, in which case, probably should have told you, but this one's not invisible ink.

We promise it's the real back. Right. Yeah, exactly. All right. So then we cut back to the antichrist. He's just about to nuke all of the countries that pissed him off when Gillin shows up and threatens to shoot him if he doesn't call off the nukes. Call it off or I'll shoot you again.

Better. Yeah, I'm better. I'm someone who survives gunshots to the head. So you have a different gambit. Nuts. I'm gonna try. Hey, credit where credits do the antichrist finishing his wine when a guy's about to shoot him is one of the best moments in this movie. He's just like, I'm so sorry, this just finished aerating.

I really wanna catch it at full nose. Just. Oh, that's good. Anyway, you were gonna say so much shooting. Anyways, join the dark side. I don't know. Well, so and then the villain has to he throws this out. He goes like, Hey, man, like you in the book, you get thrown into hell, right? Like the other guy wins in

the book. He's like, ah, there are a bunch of fairy tales. It's like, just entire fucking movie is about that book being right. You're literally possessed by one of the characters in the book right now because you followed the book to a tee right according to your fucking movie anyway yeah but you're gonna fucking Ink Master this shit that's your thought is you're gonna get in there and fucking Alice out of Wonderland okay okay that's a big role of the dice Antichrist and so and so like the reporter ladies about to shoot him and he's about to nuke the Middle East and and so Gillen's like, you know what, fine, I'll tell you the final code. If I must stop all of these people from dying. He types it into the computer.

Just like, all right, hold on, it's on Capslock. Just give me a second. Yeah. So, and also we see the screen. He's apparently speed typing in Hebrew. Why can he do that? How many bikes? How many bikes are in the picture? I'm not a good guy. I'm saving the world. Where's the code on your keyboard for the hawk. I need a couple of hawks. Okay, got it. No, I got it. All right. Password, one, two, three. Are you serious?

Are you serious? Are you serious? All right. So, yeah. So he speed types in some Hebrew and he gets the final code and the any crisis like great, great, good. We're going to destroy Alder on anyway. He goes, really?

He's like, man, I'm coming on. I'm obviously, I'm obviously dumb the fucking any christ dumbass of course i'm gonna nuke everybody anyway but just then a movie and literally as the as the fucking any christ is going nuke everyone in three two one and a

half and then just then at that moment god's fireball powers ripped the devil right the fuck out of them and he dies. Literally Deus Ex Deus movie. But I love is that it takes a while for the devil to be blown out like it's not right away. He's like, and he's got an arm on there still the devil's like, it's okay.

It's okay. Still in the end of Christ. And he's got an arm on there still the devil's like it's okay Don't tell him You only got my jacket God you only got my jacket Curse you seem harry printer says printer says jacket counts And then we get we see the final Bible code being printed out because apparently the rapture's happening I don't know it's hard to tell but we see the final code code being printed out because apparently the rapture's happening. I don't know. It's hard to tell, but we see the final code printed out and it says zero, zero, zero,

zero, dawn of new millennium. And I just love that like they're like, no, they always counted the, always kind of the years and four digits didn't hate was the year. Oh, it's seven 14. What? So fucking welcome to zero, zero, zero, nine party. Everybody. Let's get excited for this new year's eve. So I'm Dick Clark.

I'm alive now. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Now, exactly his first. All right. So yes. And that's the end of the movie. I guess we're assuming the rapture happened there. But as a fun homework assignment, I asked you guys to look through the Bible and see if you could decode anything while you were there.

Were either of you able to find any interesting secret messages? I was Noah. Uh, deep within the Bible is the recipe for holistic drug free sleep aid. Huh. It's called reading the Bible is the recipe for a holistic drug-free sleep aid. It's called reading the Bible. Boy, I'll do it. Yeah, that'll do it. I also found one in I.I. Corinthians. If you read every 17th word, Ben Shapiro's wife told him that a wet vagina is a disease.

What happened? Oh, I knew it wasn't there somewhere. All right, well, that doesn't for our review of the Omega code. That's not going to do it for the episode just yet, because we still need to fire it up for next week. So Eli, tell us what's on deck? The Omega code to know all you course. Fuckin' bet you're in the acid.

It's all right. So with that to look forward to we're gonna bring up so two sixty one to a merciful close once again a huge thanks to all the patreon donors that help make the show go if you'd like to get yourself among their ranks you can make a pre-episode donation at patreon.com slash god awful and thereby earn early access to an ad free version of every episode you can also help a ton by link a five star review and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms and if you enjoyed this show be sure to check out our sibling shows this getting any citation needed D&D minus and the skeptic are available wherever. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the skating idea citation needed, D&D Minus, and the skeptic are available

wherever podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email Godoff from looseachima.com, link and services for this podcast are provided by the law, if this is a P.M.D. retortist, Tim Robbins and Takes Care of our social media, our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slatton, and we will address on March, all the music we're written and performed by our audio engineer, Morgan Clark and most used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen, right, Neely Bosnick, I'mick I'm Noluzin's promise to work harder and another strike next week until then. We'll leave you with the Breakfast Club Club.

One more message came out of that printer. It said, sorry, forgot we didn't have a year zero, the final food is zero zero zero, one, dawn of New Millennium. So just hang out for a year and we're all good, let's go. Yeah. Yeah. Michael Ironside went on to appear in 49 movies a year forever. Yeah.

Yeah. Gillum wasn't raptured. He started his life over with a people name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tesla. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We should make a children's book of apocalypse movies.

One for each letter of the alphabet. Yeah, I mean a children's book. I like it. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and the Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2020 I like it.