God Awful Movies - 280: Sons of Thunder: Episode 2

Episode Date: December 29, 2020

On this week's episode: Noah, Eli, and Heath team up for an atheist review of Sons of Thunder: Episode 2, the story of violent bigots learning about Jesus in slow motion. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Yeah, how is there not a fight there? I wanted like a big struggle with this giant guy wrestling Joe into the house and it's so good. Joe like grabs the doorframe like a cat you're trying to put into your carrier. No, no. He's pulling his pants, come down around his ankle. Joseph, come on now. I'm shit man. I'm shit. You want to deal with the shit first before we get to this? I'll throw up on you like a vulture.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Bleeeeee. It's time. Ha ha ha ha. God awful. Movie. Movie. Movie. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be immediate left us my good friend Ethan right heath welcome back. Thanks Noah. So you know who's a good writer? I have no idea. Sir Francis Bacon. I've been reading a lot during

his quarantine. Yeah. I got right. It's good place. All right. All right. Nice. Great to start off with a good effort green choke. We did it everybody. We made it zero seconds before our evergreen episode. All right. And of course that was you just heard was coming from 900 miles to my northeast. That's my bad friend Eli Bostic Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? I'm sad about the modern family finale. No. What? Modern family wrapping up this week. It is April 10th of 2020. So, yeah.

So, just so you know, guys, we have a habit once in a while when we have an extra week and a quarantine is a great time to have an extra week to just record an episode, toss it up on the shelf. So, who the hell knows when you're going to hear this? My guess is some of the jokes will be outdated by the, I might be dead by then. That's dead by then. That's dead. That France is bacon reference. It's going to be a lot worse in a few months.

The age of changes. You wait, you wait and see, you just wait and see that I might be dead by then, Gambit. I do it every time we repre-record something, but one day it's going to pay off. You guys, yeah, it's going to be huge. It'll be huge one day. Yeah. Absolutely. Be like that drug show for long con. All right. So tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched Sons of Thunder episode two, the blind fighting the blind. And by the way, if you had trouble finding it on pureflix, I did too.

And by the way, if you had trouble finding it on Pureflix, I did too. It takes at least two tries in my experience. Ooh. Yeah, I searched for Sons of Thunder on the search bar on Pureflix. And the results screen just said, please buy a lifetime membership. Please, look, please. If you're fucking searching for S sons of thunder, you are our target demo. Yeah.

If you're searching for sons of thunder, you might be dead when this airs. Yeah. But that was all it said on that screen. There was no option to click on a show called sons of thunder. Wow. I actually had to hit the back button and scared again. I really haven't. So speaking of Christian movie searches, maybe this is just me, but I have pure flakes on my Apple TV. And for some reason, that is now connected to like any Apple TV search I ever

do. So now if I'm ever like, Hey, Siri, play the Beatles. This fuck, it's like, did you mean the Beatles are Satanists who will drag you to hell on your like? Yeah, I did. And now you mentioned it. Yeah. Lexus inside my house now. Yeah. So anyway, sons of Thunder Episode two, it's the story of how God created a meth-dealing biker gang so that one of the gang could eventually quit and then eventually resolve the humanitarian crisis in the West Texas family-owned woodworking sector. That's the plot, right?

I don't think they work wood, but I don't know. We were really... They're still woodworking. We're going gonna get to what that means to them, but that's what they say. Yeah, yeah. And Eli, how bad was this episode? Well, if you love hardcore bikers, live it on the open road on a journey with no name, but you wish they spent more time in family court.

Poo-hoo. Oh family court. This episode, they just, they just didn't have a second episode, right? Yeah. The entire time I was just like, all right, first episode, Mexican cartels ravaging the southern border, second episode, which is worst punching or yelling. Yeah. Neither both. No. Yeah.

Neither by a lifetime membership. All right. So is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at best worst punch. Oh my God. So good. And this time, by the way, it's not from the main guy, the WWE wrestler based on a lawn gnome. And it does her water physical acting. That's not, does it?

That's fantastic. It's from the guy who hires him for an episode of work, which seems to be the premise of this show that happens each week. So this guy who hires him gets mad at his father-in-law. And at one point he walks up to his father-in-law and he's like, hey, Lane, don't, don't move. I'm going to do a thing. I'm going to do a thing. Just give me a second. He spends like the rest of act two winding up this punch. It's so slow. He does yoga like he does like an old time. He baseball wind up with a high kick. It's so crazy. He might as well shake off a bunch of signs from a catcher and then like, check the runner at first base, throw over to first base, get the ball back. And I punched you. I punched you. By the way, reacts, please. It's like punching somebody. You ever try to punch somebody in a dream and you're just,

you find you're, you've got your fist and they're facing and you just push it. It's like that. Yeah. Why is my hand desk? What? So I was going to go with best worse title tease. Well, yeah, you know, I try to be woke. I really do, right? I fight against my white middle-class college educated straight guy on the internet nature every day. But the title of this episode is the blind fighting the blind. And that sounds goddamn hilarious. Right. Back in the 80s, you could do that as a bit. It would be some stick or either that or it sounds like total ninja bad assery. One way or the other, that sounds fucking awesome, but that never happens and nothing like it does.

No, and there's, we'll get to it. There's a prominently featured hammer in the set. So I didn't catch the title. I like, I, you know, mouseed over it a little bit later and I was like, oh, the blind fighting the blind. How are they going to, I think I'm going to work that in like a blind hammer fight. This is going to be interesting. Whatever happens is going to be interesting. No, that's not what happens. Well, it's also so indicative of the worldview, right, which was my best worse, which is best worse than

equivalency because the catchphrase is the blind leading the blind. And when they were writing this, they were like, yeah, but they're in a fight. Good catch. The blind fighting the blind. We did it everybody. Yeah. So again, I went with best worst equivalency and look, we've inhabited some weird fucking worldviews on this show.

Mary your rapist, pay your friends to fuck your mom. Whatever Kurt Cameron thinks Christmas is. But this episode manages to fuck up. Do we do a hit? Where did they land? I don't know where they landed. They land on maybe. I think they land on maybe. Yeah. Yes, no, neither both. Yep. Lifetime subscription. All right. Well, I don't know about you guys, but I've been missing Simon and world famous character actor Maverick Bonne Hogg. So we're gonna take that. So we'll keep the break. Briefing we come back. Well, dive into all the boring work drama you pretend to be interested in for your significant other's sake that is, Sons of Thunder Episode 2. Last time on Sons of Thunder.

My name is Simon and I'm a hardcore biker with a wrong to write. Hey, you want to work slash live at my house? Cause that's a thing. Damn, Tutin. Great, great. This is Machiti's son. You'll be hunting Mexicans together. You ever kill anybody?

Cause I sure have. Help, help! Did Chartez, Jeff Fulham, it to deform? I'll save you. I will not. I'm... Chucky. Well done, Simon. You murdered those bad Mexicans.

Uh, Mexican girl. Uh, my name is actually, uh, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I am your dad now. I, I, I have a father and a I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, nice. The golden hour, it's just a gold, just the color gold. So, yeah, as assignment pulses, noisy ass motorcycle up to some shit hole gas station in West Texas. Yeah, great big American flag hanging off the back of it. Yeah, he's like, oh, good. An American gas station, none of that foreign oil. I have never understood why these movies think an American flag in front of the shittiest possible American thing is somehow right. Yes, no.

Here's a heap of dog shit with a flag on it. Yeah, I don't know. No, it's not even a good flag. It's like a kid made it on like paint. It sucks. And also, okay, so we watch Simon go in and prepay for his gas, right? Like we watch that transaction take place. He wanders off. He comes back. He starts gasping up. And I'm like, you know what, I bet that exists so that we know as an audience, he's not one of them suckers. What lets the government know where he is all the time by using a Domast ATM card. I honestly think that's why they added that just paying for gas with like handfuls of loose silver is West Texas takes a swig from his gym baker labeled bottled water.

Yeah, right. Yeah. But yeah, so then we get that long dumb house, porny fucking shot where it like moves up from his harley to him is bad assing shit with the American flag in the background. Well, what's amazing is they're trying to do like a badass panning shot of him from below, but his goofy ass garden gnome beard is blowing at a right angle because the wind is too strong. Yes. It's magic. It's fucking magic. I wanted like a wizard to come up behind him and be like, hey, buddy, you're almost fucking done. Get a feel of my cloud here.

And during the shot, they also pan over to the town sign thing that's like, oh, there's a historic site, deep creek, Texas. And exact words on this sign. I'm guessing this is a real sign in a place called Deep Creek, Texas. It says, play a central role in early town life as a scene of picnics, horse races, and baptisms. It's a weird fucking day at the deep Creek, Texas area. If you know a better way to dry off from your baptism than a horse race, I'd love to hear I wrote my notes at this point, the slow gassing up my hog in front of this here, American flag hanging off of this here, oil Derek scene is like the most American thing I have ever seen that you can't

die from, right? Yeah, that's right. They're also up there, most American things, the leather vest he's wearing that should supposed to be a biker getting vest, but all it has is a cross on the back and that's it. Yeah, that should be the state flag of Texas, a leather vest with a cross on it. And we don't mean that image on a flag. I mean, the actual vest itself, right? Right. Yeah. I mean, that guy's vest. It's

like the right size for the Capitol building. Like everybody wins two votes. He's enormous brother large. He's like seven feet tall. I think a couple of times we see him next to somebody else and it's comically different in height. All right. So now, Welles gas it up his his motorcycle we flash back to before the series started we're in this Purple lit bar and Simon's there reading his Bible by like, you know purple neon bar light It doesn't seem ideal. Oh, how bad is you want him to take out like a pen light or one of those book I should read at home And this is when we meet Don Swazie, the real talent in the Swazie family.

Yes, the Patrick's brother. Wait, seriously? Yeah. Yes. He plays the president of the Biker gang. Mm-hmm. Don Swazie. NGD.

NGD. Look, if we can count on Christians for one thing, isn't it gay fear? And yet their badass motorcycle president is named Angie. Yeah. That was what I was breaking into a musical number stolen from Greece. So that look at me. I'm Angie D. A five year gang is different technically. Also, I don't know if this is a real, but do do by your gangs have patches to signify their rank within the bike? I bet they do. I bet that's just seem too damn silly. I'm not from watching season one of Suns Van Erkey, which they still in this. Yes.

All right. So, but Don Swancy though, he's there and he's not by in this whole Dozer has a Bible bullshit. Now, we should explain for those of you who were around for episode one, that we learned in that episode that those are used to be this bad-ass biker, but then he found a Bible and he fell in love with Jesus and he left the biker gang. We're flashing back to that traumatic moment, apparently, right? Because he's not like, Don Swazies there to tell him, like dude, you have not been bikering very good since you found Jesus. And him and Angie have the shitty new girlfriend fight. He's like, you're making the crime this weekend

and dozer's like, ooh, I got brunch with the Bible's friends. Can we? Oh. Yeah. And Angie's like, all right. I got. Okay. Just, it's a cool Bible, I guess.

Just quick thing. Last week, just good example. You stopped in the middle of our meth deal to ask if our dealer knows Jesus. You remember that? Yeah. You know, that shit bag, which is very confusing because our supplier's name is Hey Zeus and that really blew up the whole thing. In fact, like there was a racial overtone. Yeah, there's a whole thing.

So I just big takeaway from this meeting, we're a meth gang. You want to just focus up a little bit during the meth gang? If you don't mind, I wanted him to like call him into his office. Dozer, I want to talk to you about your work life balance. You know what I'm saying? I have this copy of who moved my cheese. I want you to, I should look through it. Also one other thing on this scene, when Angie D. the president walks into this bar. He immediately walks over to the service bar and picks up too large.

I'm pretty sure glasses of juice. So and then he walks over to dozer and he's like, as you can see, I'm so important. A bartender has, you know, two glasses of juice. Just waiting for me when I arrive. I'm the president. And like that he does this throughout. I like, I wanted that explain. It's like a weird power move. It's kind of interesting. I wanted to waitress in the background of their conversation to just come over to the bar looking

for the drinks to be like, fucking Angie. When I tell you, just use the mobile app and we'll have a report. It's not because you're the president. Anybody can use the mobile app and we'll have a read for you because you're the president. Anybody can use the mobile app. Asshole. And we should also point out by the way that sitting over off to the side here and getting angry every time. Dozer says something about Jesus is the one. The only Maverick

Bond hog. Oh, yeah. Another extraordinarily large tattooed to gentlemen that I'm guessing this season culminates in, you know, him falling in love with Jesus, but I'm just guessing. I'm spoiler spoiler whose eyebrows are drawn on with Sharpie. Just quick. Yeah, they are.

Yes, exactly. So we exit that flashback. Don't worry. We'll be back. And he's still filling up his gas tank. So he finishes that. We watch him biker around for a little bit, right? And then eventually he passes two guys having a yelling argument on the side of the road.

He sees a yelling hammer wielding fight and he's like, hmm, I think I should be involved in this. Yeah. This seems like my business. He pulls over and he's like, Hey gentlemen, sorry to interrupt your hammer fight. Let's all just take a minute and read from first Corinthians. If you don't mind. Is he not? Yes. And can we talk about the hammer specifically for a second that this guy's carrying? Oh, please do.

He's brandishing it like he's got Thor's hammer. Like it's a big fucking deal, but it's a crafting mallet. It's like I am son of Odin. Hold on, let me just just this joint on the birdhouse isn't quite quite so. Son of Ogen. It's really sad that he doesn't hit him or the vehicle with it because you know there would have been some tinks that they had to get out and in later sound of a.

Get out here and talk to me. You bastard. Bounces back at him or something. I so wanted this to turn out to just be a gay couple happening like a a couple of spite would have really freaked out the Christian biker, but no, that didn't work out. And so okay, so eventually though, we don't really learn who these people are, but the younger guy yells at the older guy, the older guy drives away. The younger guy's the one holding the hammer. And then he turns to fucking Simon and they realize that this isn't really, they haven't really met yet and the writers aren't talented

enough to figure out what to have like how this would then go. So this character literally just church to the main character and says, so what are you doing in this scene? What the little literal fucking words are? So what's your deal? Hey, man, you're weird. Don't interrupt hammer fights explain yourself. Please. Yeah. Yeah. And he and of course Simon says, well, you know, you guys seem like you were in a fight. And I thought to myself, what would Jesus do? And it's like, yes, he will. When Jesus sees a hammer, he has a totally different reaction at this point. I would bet, but what do I know? But Jesus literally chased his competition around with a whip. What do I know? But Jesus literally chased his competition around with a whip. It would be hard to more accurately describe Jesus's behavior than chasing around your professional competition with

a tool. Well, they even drill into that, right? Because the guy says like, you know, he's like, what would Jesus do? And he's like, well, I don't know. And he's like, well, something tells me what a chase is, uh, competitors in the woodworking business around with a hammer in his hand. And it's just like, dude, the only thing you do in between scenes is read that goddamn book. Right. You know, good and fucking well, but that's what he did. He just walks over to a fig tree and beats the fuck out of it with the hammer. I'm pretty sure I read this is what Jesus did. That I can get you behind. Let me hold its arms for you. Baron motherfucker.

And then he basically Simon goes like, so is there any chance that you would like to hire me for an episode's worth of job? Just out of nowhere. He's like, so do you do all this Hammer waving on your own? And he's like, yeah, you can have a job to which Simon replies, can I live with you? And the guys like, yeah, obviously what are you talking about? It's the format of the show so the guys like, yeah, but he's like, I guess this isn't really how jobs work most of the time That ladder convention is quickly as possible. I know it means having to shoot the inside of a hotel room, but we're worth it Easy breezy beautiful cover girl

Yeah, he says I'll work for you if I can live in your place of business. And the guy's like, yeah, all right. Do whatever you can sleep in this garage. So we cut to him in the garage. It's late at night. He's reading the Bible because that's literally again, the only thing he doesn't between scenes when suddenly a beautiful young woman shows up with a sandwich like they do. I thought I had switched tabs by accident, but no, it's part of the, part of the show.

She's like, hi, my husband told me he invited someone on the side of the road to live where we sleep. I brought you a sandwich. You murderer. You quicker you murderer. And to be clear, at that point, Eli still wasn't sure if it was his born tabernon Yes, I'm sure yeah exactly what he searched for exactly. Yeah, I made it to the end of this episode on sure if it was my She goes and she notices his Bible at this point too and she goes, oh, are you a Christian? He goes I tried of it

And she's like isn't it literally just apologizing to yourself once he's like, yeah, it's just apologizing to you. So yeah So did you do that? Yes, try But then she's like totally fine with him living in her shed. She's like, oh awesome Christians never commit crimes. All right Yeah, good day and then she has the Colombo moment She has the Colombo moment. Except for like post-signality Colombo, right? Right? If Colombo's moment just didn't go anywhere. When if the end of it, he was like, wait, why was I talking about wooden escalators again?

This makes no sense. No, like Peter Falk at Comic Con now trying to do a Colombo impression. Yeah. She's like one more thing. My husband is an asshole. And Simon's like, yeah, I fucking met him. Yeah. And she's like, well, goodbye.

Yeah, she says, I love this line so goddamn much. She says, I married him despite my father. I mean, we got his blessing. Right? Like don't don't think that the woman in this movie soon that time is human with her own thoughts and desires are not fucking Jews, but Yeah, she's like, yeah, Joseph, you know, he's a little um, he's a little honest and And of course by that I mean and Simon's like hammer fights. She's like, yes.

I love it. She describes him as a little honest and a little fiery. I'm like, I bet that's how my wife describes me. I bet that is how we say we said a warns people who have come over to help us out with stuff. He's a little bit honest and fiery. But she's that's not a euphemism for like whatever physical abuse they're not willing to tell us about that really is the character of this movie. Right. Yeah. There is a non speaking role for spousal abuse in the set. Right. Right. Yeah. It's fun. It's always just sort of lurking in the back corner of a lot of these scenes. Yeah. She does later in the show try to like cover that up. She's like, never me. He's never me. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Me. So yeah. But so she apologizes for dropping so much exposition on them all at once. And then by the way, she calls him out

for not saying grace, right? He goes to eat the sandwich. She's like, wait, aren't you a Christian? I thought you were going to do it. Don't you do a little prayer? She doesn't so aggressively do. He like, he's like, oh, thanks. Thanks so much for the sandwich and the concrete floor. Great. He starts to take a bite and she's like, say grace right now. You fucking juice. Sorry. Nailed you. I'm going to do it. You were the worst for. I said, I said, I said the J word twice this scene. I feel bad. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Also, Mark that square on your Christian movie bingo card.

He doesn't know how to say grace. And I just want to say the Bible is like 14% instructions on praying before you eat, dude. Come on, what are you reading and that thing? Well, okay, so this is a, this is a trope that I absolutely fucking love and exists in a lot of Christian movies. And I didn't realize this is what we were going for

with Simon until we saw this scene, that he's not really a Christian and he doesn't really know what he's doing, but he found the Bible and he was so inspired at that by it that he wants to be a Christian, right? So we're watching his journey to Christian, dumb to full Christian, dumb, whatever that means. But the idea of somebody reading through a Bible and by themselves trying to piece together what this means in terms of like theology or your spiritual worldview is goddamn hilarious to anybody who's read the Bible. Right.

Can you imagine somebody going through that book unfamiliar with Christianity and like following the instructions that they found there in? He just ends up burning witches like they did in Papa New Guinea And they're like oh fuck no right guys. We got we got to send someone after Simon No, but it says it in the thing. It's pretty clear. It really Really do you gotta scare these chickens out of their nest before you take the eggs come on Simon I can kill you They even confused themselves on this in the very last scene.

At one point, the crazy hammer guy was like, Hey man, doesn't Jesus say don't be a fucking dick? And Simon's like, actually no. I've been reading it. Does not say that. No, he killed a fig tree for no god dare reason. In fact, there's a bunch of people who come up and ask him, Hey, do you mean don't be a dick?

And he says no to be very clear the world's about to enter. And then he does. All right. So the next morning, the two of them are getting to work nice and early. I love this because we all wrote the exact same thing in our notes here, which is Simon says, your wife is nice. And Joseph goes, did you fuck her? We all wrote that in her goddamn knowledge.

Yes, we did. Which by the way, Joseph follows up with, by the way, she invited you to dinner, but trying to be a sloppy fat fucking pig covered in fucking pig mud. Okay. Shit, fucker, fuck, fuck. The extent they go through to make this guy angry at all times. Just goddamn will layry. But he can't swear. So he's a rich all it could just like, oh, salmon is way too light.

To beans and grapes. And by the way, this scene, it starts with what exactly what happened in the last episode. So I was waiting for a similar thing. It's just first day of work and they're like sitting in the little truck thing about to do day one or work. And I was sure Simon was going to be like, hey, so normally I'm a first day of these, you know, episode long jobs that I get. My Airbnb employer tells me about killing

a minority. I would like to guess Octavunes. I got a little bingo carping. I'm starting in my, in Madoro, the Explorer backpack. Follow up. Are you a minority? I can't tell. It's West Texas. You're kind of tanning. Dusty. Can I say that? You're dusty. Is there a Mexican actor? What's the Octa runa? How would you say it? Mocked a room. It would be Octa rune. I think I would do the

yeah. You got to roll it. You got to roll. I didn't really. Okay. I want you to know I am dedicating a hundred percent of my brain to think of a Mexican dish that says the mock sound in it so that I can do Chalupa-Taroon. They like a hand-drawn or something like that.

I'm going to ruin it. Oh, how dare you. No! I literally stopped breathing. I literally stopped breathing in my voice. Eli's just reciting the Taco Bell menus background. Literally what I was doing. I was doing a taco chalupa.

It's a jello. And maybe don't pizza room. No, that's done. You just throw out guaccaroom. How dare you? Oh, yeah, no, this is good. This is our title. We know of time.

That's hell. Shit. All right. So yeah, he says he invites him to dinner that night. He's like, you can come in to your house, but clean up. He's like, you know, I'm a homeless guy sleeping in your garage with no running water. So sure, yeah, I'll be nice and clean. Okay, but then they go to see this potential client. And we have to show like the program demands, the script demands that we show what an asshole this guy is and how it, you know, doesn't allow

him to get a job, right? So he goes up to this potential client and the guy's like, yeah, just bought me this new truck right here. And just like, it's crappy and it sucks. Anyway, do you want me to do the job or what? And a quick little detail about this guy with the new truck. He's wearing a hat. This is T.S.G. in big letters on the front.

I was like, okay, whatever. But then I, I looked, I paused for a second. I was like, I gotta know what that is, because it says something in small letters. T.S.G. stands for tank safety gauge. So this guy's a big supporter of that in his life. I had no idea. Very important.

What gauge would make a tank safe? I'm trying to imagine on the front of the big rocket launcher, there's a gauge to block the radio. Maybe inside the tank itself, it tells you how much tankiness the tank still contains. There's just a big communism gauge. And it's a pretty fucking socialist tank. All right, let's go get a Chinese guy to stand in front of it for a little while. That'll bring those levels right there.

And then the guy drives off and immediately Joseph turns to Simon and he's like, well, that is definitely someone else's fault. Fuck that guy. Everyone that needs me. And Simon's like, you should have told him his truck was awesome or something. And he's like, man, you sound like my fucking wife. Fuck you. Fuck you.

You did fuck my wife. And he's like, people should hire me because I'm good at stuff. Even if I'm an asshole. And I'm like, man, you should try podcasting, dude. You would be amazed. That's right. Scavying oil rig guy. You're explaining acceleration is among Twitter.

And this is where Simon's like, you know, the Bible says to be as wise as a serpent, but as gentle as a dove, do it shows it replies. You're not like a dove, you're fat. Yeah, I'm like, okay, all right, dove, dove, dove, Simon the dove, dove, dove, and fucking dove, all right, just don't say dove again. I'm getting a bag in my vest. I'm gonna produce you magically motherfucker. Can't do it, that's right.

Fucking walkerina, whatever it was. That was me. All right. Well, I gotta say something tells me that a dude making fun of Simon's efforts to be pigeon like hit a little close to home for Eli. So we're gonna take a quick break. Thank you. But we're gonna be back in a minute with even more sons of thunder. of thunder. Fucking mailbox. Uh, it's Simon. You got a second.

Uh, yes, ma'am. I just wanted to thank you who decides a mailbox like this. A fucking idiot. A fan idiot. That's who would design it like this. You know, for coming and helping us out, you know, business has been badly late. That's the world that you would just come on. Rock this fucking thing.

You're here. It means the world that you're here. Well, uh, ma'am, oh, I know. You know what, I'm a shit in this fucking thing. And then I'm going to send it back. You know, send, send whichever idiot made this fucking thing a big giant turd just like he sent me. Yeah. So as I was saying, I'm glad to be here as to why business is bad.

Hi, I big bad chili. I want to order two, you know what, three extra large chili. You might want to consider that. What do you mean you don't deliver? Yep, you know what's your home address? Your home address. My husband's a dick. Yeah. Yeah your husband's dick

That's what I was gonna say because I'm gonna send you a mailbox full of shit. That's why oh not again And we're back and we're gonna rejoin the action at Joseph's house having dinner with his family and There's because again like Joseph has to be angry at all times So now we're getting him be had pissy with his wife for taking too long to finish the saying grace. To be fair, she is taking a comically long time to go to tempt. Thank you God for the food. All right. I'm going to start. All right. Fuck. And I'm going to get in and my parents. I took a bite of my fork that fucking time.

You got to be good. The phone book in the following order. You're right. I have my grandparents, my great grandparents, my great, great, great, yeah, right, right. But eventually he gets to eat and then she invites Simon to go to church with them. Right. She's like, I saw you reading the Bible in between every single scene. Would you like to go to the church? And he goes, well, I haven't been to church in a very long time. Like, fucking why not? You're a big Bible guy. Why the fuck wouldn't

you just go to a church? Oh, and then of course Joseph is pissed about that too. Right. He's pissed off that she invited Simon to church as well. Well, she invites him like, like she's trying to get a fucking dog as a kid. Like, can we take up the church, please? Joseph, I find that you're picking up his shit and a plastic bag. And she probably will, you know, give it, we know about the character so far. Yeah, that's probably a good stipulation. Flashcut to Simon all curled up like a shrimp outside of the church. All right. So we go to their little city ass church. And this is where we get the turn, right?

Cause Haley's mom is there and she introduces him to Simon and a big old hug and everything. But then she introduces the father and the father and law is the old guy that Joseph was chasing around with the hammer that keeps stealing all of his jobs. Yeah. And as they're walking into church, she's like, honey, can you please not get into any hammer fights? I think I make no promises. Oh, she's slowly dehammering him like those get rid of your weapon scenes and action movies

and pull in hammers out of his ankle holster. Yeah, and so it also like so he's of course having this conversation about like, wow, I haven't been in church since I was a kid. Simon is right. And I'm just like, is Christianity like a cargo cult thing for him? That I just, I want to explore that more. But instead we're like, we're drilling down into the relationship between Joseph and his father in law. And this is where we will be introduced to the father-in-law's character, which is totally normal man who Joseph is

throughing at the mouth angry at all times Yes, and as it asked the show will go on for less and less of a reason, right? Yep Yeah, he says hello to him like fucking Newman. He's like hello Lane Again, though I was like be nice and he's just like slowly lowering a hammer back to the end of your team member thing on his jeans. And again, Lane is perfectly nice. He's like, hey, Joseph, how you doing? And he's like, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And he's like, good to see you, honey. And she's like, oh, you too. This is our nomadic surf. He's oversized. He's very big. So, okay, so they church it up a bit. Now, we have this amazing moment with the preacher. Because first the preacher comes in and says,

wow, I've been doing a very good job so far at being a preacher. Huh? Everyone say amen. How great was that sermon that we just cut into that we couldn't show you. But it was great. So good, right? Oh, rabble, rabble, rabble, such a good thing. And then the black fucking preacher decides to tell the entirely white congregation about persecution, but not that kind of. Not the real kind that happens

in the universe that he could rightfully discuss and probably should with a bunch of West Texans, but because this show was written by a white guy, this African American gentleman would like to talk about the imaginary kind of persecution where Christians are persecuted in Texas for being Christian. And he does his little survey. He's like, let me ask you all a question today. Who here had someone try to stop them from coming to church or take away their Bible

or attack them and no one at all raises their head. Giant, giant pause. Anybody persecuted? I thought you were. Nope. No, you just needed a piece. No, you look like you were gonna raise it. No, okay. And how about you cups at Starbucks? Hands up that.

And man, he looks so much persecution. He literally says he's like, well, you know, John says we shall be persecuted for our fate. So I'm just checking. We are. I'm just checking again, open. So this leads Simon to flashback because he was persecuted once for being a Christian guys.

See? And so, okay, we flashback. He's, you know, out grinding metal one, all testosterone only one day when he's beveling the end of a stick. Yeah. Why is he anyway? Yeah. So he's grindin' metal. Maverick Von Hogg shows up.

And he sits down in these list, there's yelling at him and he's like, doomsur. And he's like, man, I'm right. I'm in the garage. You could just tap me on the shoulder, obviously, I'm right here. Have airbrushes. You could just tap me on the shoulder. Obviously I'm right here. Have air. Do you want to wait for some for a rainstorm to scream? Dozer. Trying to time it with the lightening something like that. Yeah. Also, this is supposed to be shot in a badass like Biker gang place, but it's very clearly someone's garage shop in suburbia. Right. They pan out too far for a second. You see kids playing

stick ball and reporting each other on nextdoor.com. Yeah. Yeah. And so Maverick Von Hogg starts taunting him about the Bible. He's like, bring out that Bible. You fucking nerd. Let's see it. Let's see, you've been reading that for a while now. Give me some fucking answers. Nerd. Give me some answers from your book of answers. And those are like, yeah, it doesn't really work like that. You don't get like tangible stuff. I don't know, man. Yeah. But but Ringo ain't buying this Jesus saves bullshit. In fact, he starts persecuting the crap.

Wait, that's not what that word mean says. It's just just making fun of him. Telling him he's wrong. Today we are deeply persecuting a lot of people. So, but Ringo, Maverick von Hogg's character, stands there with him, he pulls out his Bible and he's like, now throw it in the fire. And he's like, no, man, I'm not going to do that. And he goes, oh, that's hoping you were gonna do it.

All right. Well, that was really weird that you would just have a fire here, but you did. It was so convenient. And then you didn't do it. Fuck you. He also says that like, we're going to lose you like we did Schmitty and Coltrane and Boop Boop. And I know he means that they like died in Biker gang fights, but I just want there to

be like a scourge of conversions in this Biker gang. And poor Angie's just sitting there being like, all right, maybe we, is it something we're doing? Oh, poor guys to Jesus this year. But that is what they're saying. Yeah, that's what I lost thousands of meth dealers to bibles. asshole.

Throw that book in the fire right now. Yeah. Greg Abbott walks into the frame, just like the front door of public schools in the liberal and more you know. All right, but then we finished that flashback. We cut back to the sermon. And this is where the fucking pastor is going like, okay, all right. Now, I know it seems that most of you don't think that you were persecuted today on your

worth, on your way to church. Let me try to explain to you that you're wrong. Paul says in the Bible, these words that don't make the damnedest liquor sense altogether. I could not pull meaning. It was like listening to Deepak fucking Chopra. Hey, you know, Paul, the apostle says that your most recent doodly do was an accurate depiction of reality. Did anyone have a recent doodly do you, sir? You look like you were in a doodly do just now. Oh, I was at Starbucks. Yeah, we already did. No, no, no, you don't. Yeah, doodly do do your

Starbucks thing. That's a red cup. Yeah, fuck them. And the hands, they match the ladies on the other package. So basically though, I feel like if I'm not, if I'm not mistaken, the pastor is like, well, just keep it up, guys. Somebody's bound to persecute us eventually. You know, I told the barista to say a slurware does money. He wouldn't do it. That's fucking persecution. I wrote Eftler very clearly. You didn't even care what God hated. Yeah. Well, what's, I almost think that he was like, well, you know, Paul says we're persecuted

for our faith and we're kind of whole hogging to the everywhere. And the Bible is the truth thing. So I think if we're doing the bats or birds thing, we should do the fucking Paul says it. We're just truth thing, right? We're still pretending muster seats are small. Yeah. We're going to pretend the earth is 4,000 years old, but we're not going to pretend to be persecuted.

That's a matter of opinion, motherfuckers. Get on board. Wait till I tell you what a circle is. All right. So then the sermon ends and we fast forward to like the shaking hands on the way out bit, right? And this is so that Simon can have this moment with a preacher where he asks him like he's like, but do you think that God could forgive even me?

Yeah. And the preacher is like, oh, absolutely. Yeah. God forgives everything. And Simon's like, I was a murdery meth dealer and he's like, oh, you should have led with the murder. He says, he says forgiveness is God's whole purpose. I'm like, so somewhere along the way and his goal towards forgiveness, he created crotch fungus and sea horses. Show me this plan. It's a lot of different string.

And with that stuff, the meth feeling. How do we do that? Well, and look, in the background, we see Lane talking to Joseph. And I wrote in my notes as a joke, I want them to get into fight while he's asking these very basic Christian pressure to shove. And they do. They do. They do.

They get into a shop by and by they get into a shop fight what we mean is Joseph shoves this elderly gentleman out of the blue and then runs off right because with they get into a fight what that means is that Joseph has escalated the fuck out of it and the old man standing around going what man standing around going, what? So, so he wonders off what that leaves Simon without a ride home dammit. So the in-laws offer Simon a ride. Because again, they are perfectly nice people. And this show is desperate to convince us that this is evenly matched averse. Yeah, no, no, it's the both sides of the political spectrum argument apparently or something like that. Yeah. All right, so they drop Simon back off at Joseph and Haley as the wife's name. So Joseph and Haley's house.

And then the mom and law tells her husband to apologize to Joseph for being shoved. Like he means it. Yes. And they do like, I just love how befuddled Simon is through all of this, right? Because he's the protagonist. He's supposed to be like guiding them to the Christian worldview. But instead, he just looks at everything that happens in this scene like he's trying to stare directly into the sun.

So yeah, but Joseph won't apologize. everything that happens in this scene, like he's trying to stare directly into the sun. Ha ha ha ha. So yeah, but Joseph won't apologize. So they drive off and then we get the scene where fucking Simon is doing laundry at their house, right? So there can be some reason for him to be there. And then Haley starts his bitching about how Joseph is psychologically manipulative and an abuser, but not to her though.

No, not to me. He's great to me. It's just everyone, everyone but me. Yeah. And so I'm so confused. She's like, hey, random nomadic surf that I just met. Why are my dad and my husband always fighting? What do you think that's about?

He's like, I don't know. I just just here to wash my disgusting one pair of pants. So you look in the house. As you can see, I have no pants on. Can I go? Have you tried Jesus for one and or both of them? Well, and that's the fucked up thing about it because he turns to this wife who is like clearly like in real life somebody asked the conversation like this they are sending out a signal that their husband is abusive and they want your help right right in real life. So they're having this conversation and he turns to her and with this incredibly damaging ass message he's like well you know when people refuse to change and you know you just naturally expect them to say they will never change. But no, he says, you need to change him with Jesus.

Yeah. And then she's like, well, I've, I've been praying for that and like, nothing's happening. So I was like, yeah, that's, that's what often happens to me. No, you mentioned. I've been, I've been traveling around Texas like an idiot for years. Keep asking God for a fucking sign. I don't know. I'm a nomadic surf now. What the fuck?

It's a better off as a fucking meth dealer, be honest with you and a rank and everything. All right. Well, as hard as it is to rip our attention away from the minor family discord with no discernible stake setting us the thrilling backdrop of laundry doing. We're going to pause for a quick break. But first, let me give back three of hard sell here. Will Haley's detergent get out even Simon's toughest stains? Will he use a liquid softener or dryer sheets? Will he tumble dry? Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the,

well, why didn't you just say so conclusion of? Sons of thunder thunder episode two. Simon, this is my father, Lane. Oh, uh, pleasure to meet you. Simon, whatever big fat fuck. Oh, uh, my Joseph fuck you. Okay, uh, please, you know, we're, we're at church. If you don't mind just,

these two always fightin'. What? He said, he said, fuck you to me at a church. Yeah, but you just said it just now. You mean when I repeated what he said? Yes. Give me your shoe.

Give me your shoe. Joseph, no, no, no, get off my leg. Get off my leg. Boy, these two, and I ride both of them. Seriously, Joseph. No, no, no, get off my leg. Boy, me and these two. And I ride both of them. Seriously, fine. Here. Look, honey, you got to stop acting like Joseph and I are two equal sides of like, I'm going to take a shitting. They are. Both of you stop. Okay. I will not shit in Joseph shoe. Joseph? Oh, I'm shitting your shoe. Okay. All the view apologize. And we're back for more of this shit.

We're going to open up on a Joseph and Simon heart at work scene. But again, Joseph is a goddamn cartoon. Right? So he has to like angrily work and angrily walk and angrily get in the truck. It's like they had a devil's threesome and agreed not to talk about it So yeah, so and I feel so sorry for the sector because obviously like the director just said no no no angrier Over and over again. He did what he could so they're driving along and Joseph happens to see Lane lead the father in law, talk into one of his most important contracts. God damn it. And this is where we get heath's best worst. It's the best punch ever. It's like he had the fight choreographer from cats. He stopped before the punch to show off his but hole a little bit and then argue about

whether they should CGI that back out. I literally have been punched harder than this by Lylello, though, by my cat. I've been punched harder than this by Heath on stage. Come on. You walked. You walked. You were like like, faces out. What are we doing here? All right. But okay. So he shows up and yes, it's a silly, weak ass punch that takes forever and everything. But still he just pulled over the side of the road and yelled, hey, Lane and then punched an elderly gentleman in the face. His father in law. Yeah, not even a straight.

The father of his wife. This is a crazy overreaction. If you're not related to your business rival. Yeah, right, right. Exactly. And then it turns out that Lane wasn't there to try to scoop up this big contract. He's just buddies with that guy. He just showed up for a visit.

So literally the guy's just there. He's like, driving along. He's like, oh, it's Dave. I'll talk to my buddy Dave. And then his son-in-law comes up out of nowhere and punches him in the fucking head. And again, this movie will never acknowledge that the reason he's losing business to his father-in-law is because he's the kind of person who drives up and punches people in the head.

Well, one of the guys, one of the characters, like the under-fives is like, I'm calling the sheriff. I'm like, yes, someone who's not part of this movie gets it. Right. Yes, absolutely call the fucking share of. So while they're doing that, we go back into our flashback. We're back at that neon pink bar that Simon used to Peruz's Bible in.

And we have another scene where Don Swazie shows up and takes some poor damn drink order. As two juices ready. Yeah. That's such a good power move. I just love that. I don't know. I'm going to try to work that out. He also tries to guilt him back into the meth dealing biker gang here. It's like after everything I've done for you, I wrote in my notes. Angie's obviously Jewish. Okay.

That makes a lot of sense. And then, okay. So yeah, so he's telling my he doesn't want to be in the biker gang anymore. And Angie's like, well, you know, you need my permission to leave. And he's like, right, can I just, but I'm going to leave anyway. So I don't, but yes, could you? No, that's simple. You'll need my blessing and and some, I don't know, cobra coverage. Maybe we know. We're deciding this paperwork and an exit interview.

Which you might do an accident. Yeah. But he yells at him. He's like, you swore an oath. I'm not gonna sign this paperwork in an exit interview, which you might do in an exit interview. But he yells at him, he's like, you swore an oath. He like turns to the biker bar. He's like, what's the oath guys? And they're all like, always sell math and never be Christian. Right. Everybody's all throwing out different words.

So no, you, you, you, you, you lead us. Tom will lead us in the oath. Yeah. And then there's this weird moment where Don Swaisy says to me, he's like, well, if you're going to leave the gang, you know what I'm going to need back, right? And those are like, why wouldn't you just use the specific noun of the thing? Are we trying to set up some kind of like mystery for the next, yeah, mystery for the next episode? Oh, right. Yes. then what we need, but yes, okay

I just want Angie to be the head of a meth-dealing biker gang who won't use the words for drugs like your dad trying to score off you Just like alright, Jim, and we've made some you know what and we're gonna sell it to some you know to sell it to some you know, Oh, got a slupy slope. Why? Slupy. Did everyone bring their shaving kit? And then, okay. So now in the first episode, right?

There was a part of the big flash back there was him showing up at his house and saying to his girlfriend, hey, I just, I was at the bar and I just got into a big fight and I hurt Ringo pretty bad. I need to run. And so right then him and Ringo him and Maverick Von Hogg are about to get into a big fight and I'm getting all excited. But then the flashback ends because fuck them. Yeah, we don't see the big fight.

We do see him bonk Ringo's head against the bar once, but then we missed the rest of the fight. Yeah. All right. So now we're back at Simon is showing back up at Joseph's house. Joseph has been arrested for punching an old man in the face, which this show is pretty sure is not nice, right? It's like, I can't believe your dad's pressing charges like a northern pussy. Yeah.

Right. No, that's exactly it, right? Cause like, Simon's getting out of this house and the wife is running off and she's like, can't show up my dick dad arrested my husband just because he punched him in the face out of the blue. Jeez. That's all. The two of them really?

Yeah, both of them equally are responsible for this situation. A lot of good people on both sides. A lot of good people. Bad people, I don't know. So then okay, so we get Simon, he's about to just dip the fuck out, which would have been amazing, right? If that had been the end of the season where he's just like, I don't need this fucking drama, fuck all these guys. Oh, if he just drives off, sons of thunder, boy and boy are all.

They thought I'd be able to do something more impactful with the Bible. They're just really just arguing a punch niche. I don't know I'm gonna go to the next episode Fuck all this there are even stakes yet 94% of this book tells them to fight to the death All right, but so he's about to leave but then instead he goes to look at the clipboard and have himself a think. And now he has an idea, which we know because we can see it.

We can see it crawling under his skin towards his head. Oh, the clipboard's just the script just to episode three. He's like, yeah, it doesn't get any better. I can stick around this episode for a little while. And he gets in the guy's truck and drives away. Now, it's going to turn out that he's doing work for Joseph, but God, I wanted him to steal their trucks so badly. Right. Yeah, exactly. Oh, this is a great opportunity. Oh, man. So yeah, apparently Simon's going off to machine all the machines for Joseph.

Oh my God, I, they can't ever know how anything works in any of these. Never, ever, ever. I don't like the aren't these a bunch of like Southern Christian people who would know about a tool or two. I don't know, but they start off the scene and Simon's just like touching tubes. So gently, yep. This is where my finger along this tube seems to lead to the boxy thing. All right. That's good. That's day work right there. Still tube still box. All right. Earned my concrete slab nailed it. And just like yesterday, but as he's tube molesting, the mom in law shows up.

She needs Simon's help. So apparently Lane, the father in law has dropped the charges against Joseph. Joseph's out of jail. And now she wants to have an asshole intervention with him, but she needs a very large gentleman to physically drag him into his home so that they can do that. And again, just in the dad's defense, he dropped the charges against his son-of-law for punching him for stealing his business.

And now they're going to have an asshole intervention. One of them will need to be dragged to it. The other one will show up of his own free will. Yeah. Yeah. This is pretty all all pretty important to the way this results. So Simon comes into the garage and Joseph's like, Hey, right here you were out doing work while I was a jail. He's like, Yeah, I did a couple of the judges. Like, I hope you didn't fuck any of them up. You stupid piece of shit. Okay. No, no, I was a tube checker from my back. It's an act. You really just run your hand.

You run your fake new channel. You go to the box of things. Right. Right. That's pretty much the whole thing. Right. And he's like, Hey, look, I hate to do this, but, uh, you know, there's like eight minutes left in this episode.

Your mom and law wanted to resolve it. So I am going to drag you into your own home now. Right. But like, they couldn't do that fight choreography with angry little Joseph. So he's just like, come on. And he's like, yes. He's like, well, yeah. Yeah. How is there not a fight there? I wanted like a big struggle with this giant guy, wrestling Joe and the house and that one has been so good. Joe like grabs the door frame like a cat. You're trying to put in your carrier.

No, no. Get it. Then you just go to the limp. Dude, you go and limp. Don't. He's calling him his pants come down around his ankle. Joseph, come on now. I'm shit man. I'm shit.

You want to deal with the shit first before we get to this. I throw up on you like a vulture. I'm shit. Give me a second. I didn't have lunch. I fought a cartel in the last episode. All right. So, okay. So now it's time for an asshole intervention. This is going to happen to me one of these days. I was just like I watched the scene and I just imagined Andrew and he'd the knee last sitting around after I told all, but three of the listeners to go fuck

them. So I'm ready for this is what I'm saying guys. I'm ready. Except you will definitely go limp and fall. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I'm not going to go easy on Simon. So yeah. So mom and law is going to fix all the anger issues with Jesus, right? She says, you guys are just like Jonah, which is why I'm going to make you live together in a big fish for the next 24 hour. No, that would have been, I would have been such a better episode. I love, I love that it's like, why don't you both tell your sides of the story and Lane is like, I don't like being punched. And then Joseph

is like, I don't like it when you talk to my clients to when everyone in the room responds see so you've both made mistakes. Yeah. And and and Lane in his defense is like, okay, so one of us punched the other one in the face for no reason. I'm not gonna name names and the mother-in-law goes off on him. His wife is like, hey, you know what? I've been married to you for a long time. I've wanted to punch you all fucking time. You need to shut the fuck up.

You built a wall around yourself and not the good Ken, like Mexico pays for a bad wall. And then Joseph Chives and he's like, get him mom and law in the mom and law is like, I'm gonna do you later, God damn it, stop. You're the punch face guy just to be clear. One more time, but yes, my husband is emotionally distant tie. So here we are. And when she turns to Joseph, right?

She's like, and you, if you're kids piss you off, are you gonna, oh, we are pro kid punching? Are you gonna burn down their tree house? Which I feel like is an edge case for us about that? That's okay. Because as I mentioned, our world view very much accepts the hitting of children. Yeah. Right. No, and then she's, there's this amazing moment where it shows just like, well, I wish you wouldn't treat me like I'm some kind of 14 year old kid. Go. You want me to treat you the man who punched me this afternoon for talking to someone without your permission, more like an adult.

Okay. Yeah. Make sure we're all on the same page here. And then so they turned them and this is such an amazing moment. So the mom turns to him and says, all right. So husband, why have you been sniping clients away from Joseph's business? And he says he explains that it's really because this whole time he wanted to consolidate all his business and all of Joseph's business so he could hand the business off to Joseph someday When he was ready to retire So he was trying to sabotage this guy's business so he'd be willing to take over his business

Okay, yeah, and everybody's just like hey man Just say your plan out loud one time and that solves a lot of this. You're fine. I already bought a banner. Fucking Morgan on D&D minus just say what you do. Well, see now what I interpreted the dad's plan was is like, you know, I was planning on giving him the business, but he keeps being a massive piece of shit. Yeah.

Including the time he quit my business and started his own to rival me, which again is him instigating the problem. But I guess I'm sorry because there's only four minutes left in the episode. Right. Right. And Joseph's like, he's pissed off about the giving him the company plan apparently. So he goes to leave and then Simon grabs him to stop him and he's like, fuck, man, I can't punch you in an intervention about how

you shouldn't punch people. This is shit. I've really paid it myself into a corner. Fuck. I guess you just can go outside now, damn. All right. I'm going to cut this oil business in half with scissors. I'll either view them, yeah, not the Jewish partner. That's a Jewish part. Skip, skip. I'll cut the tip off the business. So wait, that also your babies aren't born with thorns in their eyes. Sorry, I'm not just at the beginning, it's a long book.

Everyone tells me it gets better. And then we violently return to that flashback. Right, with Ringo is going off on Simon for thinking that Jesus loves him, even though no one could ever love dozer. The biker gang arguing about apologetics here is the fucking right. It's pretty silly. When Angie's like, if you leave, nobody will know what a piece of shit you are.

That sounded better in my head, right? Is that a bad? We still met the kids. You think a loving God would allow that idiot, idiot? It just flashes forward. They're going over the Kalam cosmological argument. You see when you break it down into like actual logic, it's just a self, you mean ontologically, yeah, ontologically, you see what I'm saying? Like it doesn't track. We are meth dealers. We are meth dealers.

I will don't swish he tries to step into media, but damn it, wringles. Just can't control his emotions. And then Simon leaves and that's the whole flashback. We've been flashing back to this this entire episode It's just him walking out a door at length. That's it As the whole fucking nine years anyway, so meanwhile Joseph is outside angrily pounding and His wife walks up and she goes do you like being angry all of the time? And I feel like this shows me an awfully fucking jojee at that point. I feel like that's just his choice. Maybe he doesn't. It doesn't dislike it. Honey, you're seething on the porch. You seething? You want to just, can you lower the hammer? Because I feel like it's burning up a lot. I am seething up into the left.

Okay. You see the up into the left? Can a man see the up into the left on a man can a man see up into the left on his own porch anymore. Is this a murk? Also, I don't know why, but there must have been like a weird distance between shooting the inside shot and the outside shot because the actress who plays the wife lost like 15 very obvious pounds between days. You guys go back and see this. Yes. I noticed. I noticed. guys go back and see this? Yes, I noticed that there's no showbiz. I go back and do it. I'm like, wow, yes, you really did.

She like fucking dinner first week of a juice cleanse in between. Yes. Yes, so then the juicifist like he turns to his wife and he's like, all anger releases, you knew your dad was gonna give me his business. This whole fucking time didn't you? She's like, well, you know, I had my suspicions.. He's like why the fuck wouldn't you have told them to me?

There is no universe in which it makes sense for you people not to tell me this I wouldn't have punched him if I knew he was gonna give me a thing up. I'm an asshole She goes what do you even want? He's like, I don't, we really haven't fleshed out my, my entire character description is angry at this point. I don't. Yeah. I wrote he wants to be angry all the time. It's pretty clear. I want to see up into the left. What did I just fucking say? Yeah. He goes, he goes back inside and then he goes back and say, he apologizes to his father and law for punching him in the face.

Yeah, he's just like, sorry, punch you in the face. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's apparently my bad. I feel like none of us fully landed there yet in this episode, which is weird, but fine. You give me your business because because then the fucking mom and law turns after Joseph Apologist turns to her husband and says, would you like to apologize to Joseph now? And he's like forgiving him. My business are forgetting punched in the face by him.

I'd love to hear you guys tell me what I should say. Like what in your head? Give me a first draft of my I'm sorry. My jaw is so punchable. And he goes, he turns to the, to Joseph, he goes, I'll tell you what, if you'd like, you could handle the service part of our company, not the part where you talk to humans, because you punch them in the face, but the service part. You want to be the tube guy?

He gently run your finger so long, but I should have asked you earlier to be the tube guy and I understand why you punched me in the face. That's, that's a tie again. We'll call that a tie. You want to be tube guy? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So the solution, by the way, to this entire problem, to this entire episode, long problem of these two can't be eight inches away from each other without punching each other in a facet and shit was they should work together as even partner. Yep. So it's so dumb.

And that's when Simon is smiles looks up to the sky and points to God being like, yep, solved it. That was God. But here's what actually happened. It was the mom, a woman explaining basic logic to two idiot men. So yeah, God, that was God. Wanted so badly for it to pan up and he's just like, balloon. Sorry, I got distracted. What? I don't know if you guys saw there's a balloon. Hey, hey, you want to stop batting at the balloons? You clearly not reach it.

Nope, still can't. All right. So now, I guess Simon's had no more adventures. Haley made him food because she's a woman, right? And then he bikers away, all is right with the world. We, you know, we watch him biker for a bit. He bikers on empty roads. He bikers in traffic. He bikers on interstates. He bikers on county highways. Like there's quite a bit of that, right? It's like the show doesn't know how to end, right? They're like, oh, is there a button we push that makes for the credits come up for?

We mostly do movies. What if we close on a big sandwich scene? Yes, yes, that's it. He pulls over to the side of the road and some rest area to eat the food that Ailey's giving him. He goes to pull it out of his bike and I'm like, oh, please be the Jesus, they explore a backpack. It's not. No. Yeah. What was happening with that this episode? He goes to pull it out of his bike and I'm like, oh, please be the Jesus. They explore a backpack. It's not.

No. Yeah. What was happening with that this episode? He was just holding it for the next one. I guess. Yeah. Just it's the mystery goes on. But this time though, here's the whole point of this scene. He goes to eat the sandwich, but this time,

remembers to say Grace. He's getting pretty good at Christianing these days. Guys, the Christian. remembers to say grace he's getting pretty good at Christianing these days guys. The Christian. Thank you God for making me a successful hobo who's crushing it. I pray for a pie on a window sill and that's it. Great. The end.

Maybe a stick that I can tie all my belongings to. And while that does it for our review, a Sunset Thunder episode two, that's not going to do it for the episode just yet, because we still need a rope in for next week. So Eli tell us what's on deck. We'll be going back to the crazy Japanese called the happy science group for their third movie, the laws of the sun. Amazing. All right. So with that to look forward to, we're gonna bring this episode to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon

noticed the help make the show go. If you'd like to get yourself among the ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash god off one there by earn early access to an ad free version of our area. So you can also help us a ton by leaving a five star review and by showing the show on all your various social media platforms.

And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows. This is Kay the idea to skeptic read D&D minus incitation needed available wherever podcast live. If you have questions, comments, or send them out as suggestions,, the Skating Aideas Skeptocrat, D&D Minus, and Citation Needed available wherever podcast live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email God off when we visit Gmail.com, legal services for this podcast, provided by the law, this is a P.A. Drittoros,

Tim Robbins, and take care of our social media. Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slot, and we will travel to Mars. All of the music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark, and was used for permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heath and Rating Eli Bosnick. I'm an illusionist, promise to work harder,

earned none of the chunk next week until then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Simon went on to live in David Smollie's garage. I'm sure you're talking about that. I'm sure you're talking about that. Joseph is the person I must defeat in order to face Shang Song. Hehehe.

Hehehe. Eli never forgave Noah for beating him to guac de rame. That's your new Jumanji. Yes. You feel it, right? It's powerful. I just that that means like son of hog in Germany. Yeah. Yeah. That guy was just like, I need a biker movie son of hog in Germany. Yeah. Yeah.

That guy was just like, I need a biker movie because it's like, how you move, we'll work it in. It's good. I'm a wrestler. We really should do just a Bible piece theater version of a couple of our greats like, um, like a Bible piece theater version of God's not dead could be the basis of our live show. Oh, yes Right like he's Eli and Noah act out God's not oh my God. That's really good. Oh and just a mockery of all of God's not dead would be fucking incredible Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh dude All right, so I'm glad we're recording Morgan send me this idea because this is like this is the birth of something something just happened right there

Million dollar idea. I think that's a great idea actually. I think we would oh dude the musical Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm dead the musical yeah Oh, and the newsboy show up and it's just talking show up and it's just talking. That's fucking great. This is so good shit. God damn it. Okay, I'm gonna write a book and then I'm gonna write a musical. Alright. After we get done finishing this part. This book musical. Because I'm gonna send you a mailbox full of shit. That's I'm sorry, one more time. I'm a pro. At that time you did not say for you. You lie.

I did. No, you didn't. It's on the fucking Zencaster. I swear to the sweet Lord above I did. But I can see on the Zencaster that you didn't. Morgan, there's no, there's no pump. There's send no, send no bump. There's send Noah, send Noah my four, um, turn it into a techno remastered file just for. I said

Noah a desperate. All right, send Morgan a desperate post recorded for. Wait, no, he's I'm going to show this to you. You, you, you have to back me up on this. There's absolutely no Movement whatsoever on then Zencaster got it wrong We could do another count Just in case I'm sending you a screenshot of just I just can't do on Facebook and you can see You know my count up at the top and then you can see your nice I'll work in your nice obvious five right below you can see Eli Literally no movement at all around the four there. Yeah, you didn't say four.

Man, this could be a screenshot from any situation. You could have taken this years ago. There's no way of knowing. I mean, I've got like the date at the bottom right there and the special effects and modified and Photoshop and these this game episodes name that you made Jewish, Jewish media. Let's try it again. Say four and let's see if nothing pops up. Alright, I will. That was the easiest setup that Eli said we're having this life. Two, three, five, see? I'm front of the wide.

Sorry. Well, one more time, just a humor me. Yeah, for Zencaster. One, two, three, four, five. Five. Five. Five. Five.

Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Five. Bye. All right, here we go. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC, copyright 2020 all rights reserved.