God Awful Movies - 281: The Laws of the Sun

Episode Date: January 5, 2021

On this week's episode: Eli, Marsh, and Heath team up for an atheist review of the intergalactic Jesus Buddha cult classic The Laws of the Sun. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Un chapuzón, un aladito, tu serie favorita y en medio de tu siesta. ¡Ey! ¿Has visto esta? No sabes la de planazos que hay este verano en Guésville Parkesur, con ciertas obsesiones con DJs, clases de yoga, talleres con marcas y actividades con niños, te apuntas. Un sueño de verano, Buddha's wisdom hits Satan in the dick, right? I mean maybe that's what Buddha knows best, you know, that's maybe where his wisdom is centered. He just knows a lot about dicks.

As far as I understand it, Satan gets hit in the dick by Buddha's wisdom and then he's like, oh, fucking, I'm going home and disappears. Yeah, yeah, so you know how you get people who are like, they're not book smart, but they're street smart. But as that, he's not book smart, he's dick smart. There you go. That's, he just knows a lot about dick. God awful. Movie.

Movie. Movie. movie movies. Welcome back to God awful movies. Where each week we watch another terrible movie so you don't have to. Except of course when my internet goes out for two days and then comes back about 20 minutes before we start recording. So I'll be learning about this movie at the same time as everyone listening at home. Get excited. I'm your host, Ethan, right?

And sitting about 600 miles to my immediate left is my good friend Eli Bosnick. Eli? Are you ready to explain this? Co-on of a film to me. Oh, I sure am. Heath. Now, let me explain. He, now let me explain. Usually like we've had internet outages or people get busy before and we just postpone the record.

But this movie is so ridiculous, so insane that the prospect of describing it to he rather than describing it with he was too tempting to resist. Fantastic. I'm very excited to hear what happened. I don't know if you're going to be able to do it. We'll find out. And sitting about 3,800 miles to my left, or about 14,000 miles in the other direction, if you go the other way, enjoying the small island remnant of a global empire is my great friend, Michael Marshall. Marsh, welcome back. Hey, good to speak to you, Heath.

Nice to be back on the show, Heath Eli. I was actually slightly disappointed there, Heath, that you didn't then start telling me how far away I am if you go across the North Pole or around the bottom of the sand. That's kind of a small work for next time. And also, I was feeling great up until the point where I found out you hadn't seen this film because I didn't know that not watching this film was an option for being on the show having not watched the film. So.

Did you internet just go out? That's really. To be fair, Marsh, us describing this film to you is your other show be reasonable. This is just a version where you don't have to be polite. That's very true. Excellent. Well, let's explain what's happening here. Tell us Marsh. What are we going to be breaking down today? So we watched the laws of the sun, and

it's the animated tale of the many reincarnations of the great alien sun god, El Cantare. And you know this film has to be all completely true because the guy who wrote this film says he is the reincarnation of the great alien sun god, Elle Cantare. Why would AYs and powerful sun god lie? That's the question that I've got for you. So you know, long story short, I've joined a cult. I mean, I am in. Congratulations.

Don't open any envelopes that they sent you. So whole thing. Don't open any envelopes that they sent you. So Yeah, they got like kicked out of their New York spot for violating all the COVID like social things. They were they were selling DVDs that they claimed would improve your immunity to it. They did a whole bunch. This cult is terrifying. Wow. Really?

I didn't know about that. They're actually called happy science cult. What we did one other movie by them, right? Two other movies. Two of them. Wow. Yeah. I've just conflated so many things in my head over these years. All right. Eli, tell us how bad was this movie? Well, if you love anime, but the plots of Naruto bleach and avatar are too straight forward and realistic, you will love this movie.

This movie is so fantastic because unlike the other films where the protagonist discovered the crazy, this is just like a history lesson about the craze just a straight phone. There's no surprises. It's just being described. It's fantastic. It's a history book movie about this cult about aliens and the light God of the sun. Yes. That's what I'm going to learn about.

Yeah, it's like someone created a movie just so Texas textbooks would have something to make fun of. All right. Nice fucking stupid. created a movie just so Texas textbooks would have something to make fun of. All right, now it's fucking stupid. Is there anything you guys would like to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? So I was pretty close to saying best worst cast of alien gods. What I'm going to say that now because now that I know Heath hasn't seen it, I want to get to that point in real time so we can drop that on Heath when he's not expecting it. So in the meantime, I'm going to say best worse chronology because at every point in this film, they start throwing kind of the date

or how long ago stuff is at you and it's all just the just insane numbers. So, you know, the universe started 100 billion, 100 billion years ago, human beings, 200 million years ago, and somehow proceeded dinosaurs. All of their numbers are inconsistent and ridiculous. And I even have a theory. I think this film was made, the Japanese film makers made this film, so it could be shown to your racist uncle the next time he tries to use the stereotype of Asians being good with numbers.

So you could say, well, I'm truly, they're just as flawed as everybody else, you racist. That's, that's my theory about a film. Oh, I would think it all that stuff wrong. This cult started in 1986. We had correct numbers toward they could base at least that on some reality. See, I was going to go with best worst peripheral crazy, right? Because this movie is crazy. It's chock full of crazy, right? It is packed.

Oh, crazy. It's oops, all crazy. But there's this beautiful amount of peripheral crazy on the signs where they'll just be like, and then obviously the Martians from Epsilon prime, they came over to lend them their space lasers, but this is a creation myth. So it's not like, hey, who did Adam and Eve's children marry? It's like, wait, why are there space police? We'll get to it. We'll get to it. There's going to be space police. Uh-huh.

Not only are there going to be space police, we're never going to be introduced to the space police. We're just going to watch Jew lizards try to get around the space police. We're never going to be introduced to the space police. We're just going to watch Jew lizards try to get around the space police. Buckle the fucking. He's right. Buckle. We need we need to defund the space police. Okay. Well, all that sounds pretty fucking stupid. So I'm going to go with best best timing by Cincinnati bell fi optics. Great job guys. But despite their best efforts, I'm still going to learn about this movie apparently. And we're going to take a quick break. And then we'll back for the apparently intergalactic Jesus Buddha cult classic, the laws of the sun somewhere in Japan.

Excuse me, excuse me, sir. Sir, yeah, yeah. Can I talk to you for a minute? Oh, I've actually, I've got to catch a bus right now. I've got a bus. So here's the thing, Venus Martians, right? They came to Earth along with 10% of the other aliens from the Astro Belt to fulfill sky-booters' wish

for perfect enlightenment. Right. Right, yeah. But there were also spirit souls who came along to guide humans in each incarnation. So they didn't end up like the soulless clones that turned into the demons in the devil. Right. Yeah. Of course. Of course. Yeah. And as luck would have it right now, ultimate Buddha has incarnated on earth so we can all be the perfect versions of our souls. Well, that's looking. Just a quick question. Yeah, what's up? Is there any chance at all that I could pay animate as to spend hundreds of hours to turn all of what you just said into a movie? Oh. Do you promise to cover the reptilian plot

to corrupt the ancient Incas as a workaround of the space police? Yes. Then yes. Excellent. And we're back. And we're going to start this one off with what? What? What happened?

A little pre-movie reading assignment. Some reading. Great. Cold open on reading. So I didn't get the pre-read because I think I was watching a different cut of the film, a different link to it. And it's only when I saw your Nazi light that I saw that you'd seen a whole section of it

with a reading before. And I thought, no, I've already seen this film now. And you can get fucked if you think I'm gonna go back and do the pre-read after I've seen this film. So you're only home for the first minute. I don't know. Mars, I think you should go back to the reading. Take a seriously, you're supposed to watch the movie.

Movie review show. But yeah, we're gonna start with a couple of quotes from Nostradamus here. And they're just like, he likes the number seven. Something would happen during a time of great games and slaughter. And now on with the show, it was like someone let their son make the opening thing.

And they're like, okay, okay, now you can do the movie. But this is the problem when you're making a film made by written by a cult leader who, if you listen to him, has written like 50,000 books or something. He claims, right, Ria Wacawa, the guy who started the happy science, claims to have written on average four books a day for the last 60 years or something like that. So he's just clearly a kind of guy who just sits in front of a tie-bite or embashes out words.

And then he's got an entire industry around him to try and make those words sound prophetic or interesting or profound. And so his nonsense words have to be attached to this in some way, so you kind of get acclimatized and given the gravitas of Rua Kawa. So yeah, that's what's going on here, Reckon. Yeah, that cult is the worst, by the way. Like we said, they're founded in 1986. And apparently they're just like, like Reagan plus magic is seems to be their theme. They're the worst. They're like, they deny a bunch of like almost Holocaust and I are level stuff. Like they deny all of the baddest dream Japan and their neo conservatives. They're terrible. They're pro-Nuclear weapons, which is a bold stance for a Japanese cult to take.

So I knew a bit about this cult going into the film because I went to the happy science center in London and I sat in a room for a screening of reo-okawas, saeons with Princess Diana, where he channeled Princess Diana. What? And the screening was advertised. I formed them up to get a ticket. They were like, yeah, we can do it, but you're the only one who's expressed any interest. So I went along.

And then when I got there, they were like, there's one other person coming. So do you mind if we start late? And so it got like 10 past the hour that was supposed to start and somebody else walked in, but he walked in from the other part of the building, not from the outside world. He'd clearly come downstairs from there in their office.

So clearly they've gone, or we need another person in here, we'll just pretend you're it. So he comes in and sits down and then as the film starts, someone else walks in. Uh, and it was the most awkward experience. I know a bit about the cult from, from that experience. Wow. The audience was one troll, you and one plant Yeah, while we watched a grainy badly subtitled film of a let's say the words Japanese probable liar for tending to channel a dead

British princess God and then they made this movie I'm I was gonna say and this is a movie version. This is the anime version of that film. Yeah, this is the explanation of what was going on. Okay, so what happens next guys? I'm excited. All right, so now it's time to really dig into the bullshit. And I want to say the outset, I think JJ Abrams might be part of the happy science cult because they seem to have a real dedication to lens flare there. That was pretty constant.

I also like the fact that one of the production companies was co-fuck you films. This was made by GoFuckYouFilms. Really? K-O-F-U-K-U, Kofuku, but it's like, go-fuck you films. Okay. Well, I mean, I read your notes trying to have some idea of what happened in this movie, and I can definitely co-fuck myself so I can track. Yeah and we're gonna open with this narration which I fucking love.

We make it, well we already made it zero seconds, we made it negative something seconds before it was crazy, but this is the first narration. There is a term for Buddha's truth. It is For Buddha's truth. It is Buddha's truth. Don't say Buddha's truth. Can I start again? I want to, can I start my movie over? God, it's animated too. I feel like I had so much time. So is it part Buddhist? Is that part of the mythology? Spoilers, he's, but yes.

It's not that it's mythology is Buddhist. It's that Buddha is this is it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's mythology is Buddhist, it's that Buddha is this is it's it's own sauce. Got it. Okay. And so little history for you, a hundred billion years ago, the great spirit, El Cuntare, did nothing. Did nothing. Okay.

Just was. Just was about then at some point. Yeah. But then 80 billion years ago, the Great Cosmic Spirit created everything, which means that this movie needed us to know that the Great Cosmic Spirit chilled for at least 20 billion years. Yeah. And they also describe it as being the creation of the 13th dimensional cosmic spirit. So, but if there was nothing, you haven't created the 13th dimension, you've created the first dimension. You can't count your dimensions down.

That's not how counting works. Well, you know, they're stealing from the Bible. It's the idea of like you can make the water before he makes the earth kind of thing. I feel like they're copying off the Bible. You can't make the 13th thing before you make the 12th thing, or the 11th thing or the 10th thing. That's fair.

And that is in fact what they will do. They will now count down billions of years with the great spirit making the 12th dimension, obviously, then the 11th, then the 10th. But he's working faster and faster on each dimension, which I guess is why our dimension fucking sucks. He only spent like three billion years on it instead of 20 or whatever. And it also points out it says that the great spirit was striving for infinite growth and I wrote my notes. Oh great. So he's a new conservative then. He believes that infinite growth is the way to happiness. But then we get to some hard science 40 billion

years ago. The big bang. I feel like I got to look this up. I just wanted to real easy to Google. It didn't need to be 40 billion. If that is said, 13.8 billion years ago, it would have made no material difference to anything in this film. If it has gone the big bang was when we know the big bang happened, it would have made no difference. They could have just carried on with that.

Wait, hold on. Now, the infinite Buddha is just sitting there doing nothing for a bunch of extra years. That's like 27. And that sounds stupid. We're doing 40. I like nice round numbers, round numbers. This is also the first time that we see characters on screen

at the same time as the subtitles, which is where I got to watch Marsh discover that the subtitles in the happy science cult movies do not match up with the dubbing in the happy science. Oh, what? So frustrating. The words on screen don't match the words you're hearing and it's so disorienting. It was constantly throwing me. And I had a theory about this.

I think the subtitles were transcribed by the guy who recorded the voice over, but from memory, he had to work back from memory. So I think we said something about grace, was it? That's what's going on. Maybe the Buddha didn't invent how subtitles work into a partway through. Yeah, no, we got a couple billion years before he gets to that. And then we get the title card again, the laws of the sun. So now we're going to cut to some people who will appear

throughout the movie, but will never be explained. They're talking about the plot of the movie. They're like a council of wise people and they're standing around a book that says the laws of the sun. Yes. And there's five of them and they're standing around a pentagonal table. And I just brought like, who buys pentagonal tables?

Because you can't pull them up against a wall. They don't pestle it, so you can't expand, you can't put two of them together. I mean, they're just really lucky that whoever bought it only had four friends, but I've never seen a pentagonal table. Twenty billion of those years was just trying to push the tables together. Okay, they're still a gap. This is stupid. This is what we need. I'm inventing rectangles.

This is ridiculous. Can someone make that extra guy? What's really frustrating as well is that they open the book. That's on the table. And they start talking about 100 billion years ago. So it's like we just, we've only just started the film. And now you're recapping the start of the film. But if you're going to tell us it now,

you didn't need to tell us it then. This is just entirely superfluous. Yeah, I was really worried we were going to get an infinite regression there for a second. The 100 billion years ago pans down to the five people around the table. Fuck, we're back around the table again. And they say he's 100 billion years ago, Buddha,

which they transcribe as gods. But they say God, but transcribe as Buddha. It's one way around like that. But Buddha intended to build the universe. And the wording of that makes it sound like he never quite got around to it. Like it was only to do lists, but he's got a lot of other stuff to get done too first. You know how you always want to do that thing where you trace around the tools in your garage? Buddha felt that way about creating the universe.

He wants to do it, but how's that going, buddy? You know, that universe you've been working on? You've been getting that done during the going, buddy? You know that universe you've been working on? You've been getting that dunder in quarantine? No, but 5.5 billion years ago, he made, he's any guesses? Venus. Correct, he made Venus. The first 13th planet. The first planet was Venus.

Got it. Yeah. And if you're wondering. What's Venus? Got it. Yeah. And if you're wondering how he made Venus, well, he's Buddhist. I was. So he can just like send out a zap of energy, but there's not point exactly two Venus. That would be too easy. So instead, he bounces the energy off the sun, which is just a really weird, showing off

moment to go for a trick shot. There's nothing else. You're not having to swerve around a planet or like go off the cushion or anything, but you know, you're bouncing it off the sun to just show off at this point. Right. And I know what you're thinking. Did Buddha get in there with his bare hands and start making humans or whatever. Now you stupid, stupid fool. He made El Miore, the first dimensional great spirit. No, no, he was the first ninth dimensional great spirit. That's right. Sorry. He's the first ninth dimensional great spirit. Yeah.

What? Yeah, yeah. The direct quote is this was El Miore. The first ninth dimensional great spirit, the solar system, who is responsible for creating lives on Venus. And we are less than five minutes in. We're already pretty picked in tight in terms of the bullshit. Is, is he the great spirit of like length and also nine?

We mentioned what was. So we watch him go through a couple of iterations. It's not the creation myth because first, he makes a combo of plants and animals. And then he's like, yeah, don't love these. Yeah, he's like, he makes these giant walking flowers. And you see the more sort of collected, and he's like, no, actually, this is insane. What am I thinking?

This was a massive mistake. That sounds amazing. So the next thing he makes is a sparkly golden Phoenix that shits seashells filled with horses. Correct. I think it's not what was going on. He gives that a try.hells filled with horses. Correct. I think it's not what was going on. Okay.

He gives that a try, but it's not quite as style. So eventually he makes humans or or so. It's unclear. Blobs of gold appear and then they slowly turn into white people. Yes. They do. They do. Man, stick with the walking plants.

That sounds great. Like if we had chloroplast, like we could like photosynthesize and just be like, oh, yeah, I'm a little hungry. Yeah. I mean, just get a little sun. That sounds amazing. First answer, best answer exactly. Shouldn't have changed his mind.

Right. So Venus is filled with these golden human, whatever's, and it's time to assess the progress. Yeah. And they've done pretty well to be fair. I was, I was pretty skeptical about the capabilities of those Venetian folk, but they've made a thriving city. They've got very clearly the White House there on Venus, just in the background to show how civilized they are. Yeah. Solid guys. Yeah. And so they, they were informed that they made a utopian society on Venus, but you know, the kind of utopian society where everyone's dressed like

ancient Greeks again. Yes. Yeah. But by utopia, they mean they were white and they were talking. That's that's their idea of a utopian society. So Buddha, who I guess has been distracted with other stuff, maybe he had a bad divorce going on at home, it's never clear. But he shows up and he says to El Miura, who is the ninth, first nice dimensional grace spirit. Of course, yeah. He's like, Hey, love your work

on Venus, but it's a little too perfect. So I'm going to blow up the planet. Yes. Yeah, you guys are great. So I'm going to kill you. Is that all right? Everyone good with that cool bang dead? Where are they going to go though? Well, see, they all go to earth. And Buddha's like, okay, that's my bad. My bad. You made them the right way. I liked them. But for some reason, I blew up their planet. So to help guide these venuctions on their new life and earth, where you start society from scratch for some reason, uh, reason at all. Because we've already established that the venetians can travel through space. Yeah. So they've conquered space. They can do space travel. They go to earth and are made to start everything from scratch, not just like land and then build a fake White House and carry on.

Note back to the drawing board of you guys. Back to the very start. But it's not all bad because Elmuri is going to get a council of other spirits to help him. This council is incredible. This council is one of my favorite things in the film. Do they represent like the other dimensions? Like two through eight and... No, no, but they are really, really fantastic. So now we're gonna go and take a look at Earth

and what you need to know about Earth is the reason why L. Meore moved everyone to Earth is because souls can evolve on it eternally as opposed to Venus where they can only get up to like Charmander, I guess. Yeah. And they even say so because of that, because you evolve eternally, you said, therefore higher goals were set for the

people of Earth. So we'll have higher goals were set for the people of earth. So, well, how higher goals than create a utopian society? I mean, you've hit the bars quite high to begin with. You've nailed that, really. So they reinvent White House and Togas and nail it on Earth now? No, no.

You see, not immediately. Not immediately. El Miore, he changes his name to El Cantare. It's never clear why, but again, not at all why. I feel like there was something with like an underaged girl or boy, he doesn't want to talk about it. It's the only reason I know that people change their names. And he makes all the animals as well. And what I like is he makes them in height order, which is an interesting way of going about creating a popular in the planet. Start with a small stuff, make them sequentially larger and get them to line up as you do so.

We see dolphins, we see a whale, and because this is a Japanese film, I really badly wanted to just want to pop up and start hunting the whale, having a whale and twirl. Okay, so all the animals literally line up by height, and then they're just like, all right, got it. Everybody's this first and they're like, what happened? Pretty much. It's kind of like an opening credit sequence while El Cuntar creates all the animals. But then he gives the humans gender.

And hey, credit where credits do. I like how happy science called his divided up the men and the women here. He gave the men wisdom and the ladies grace and compassion. Lovely. Yeah. And then they just chill for a bit. The humans chill on earth for a bit. But when the earth's population reached 770 million, that is when Alcantara, who used to be El Miori, who was obviously created by Buddha to reteach these Venetians, how to evolve their souls eternally. He's allowed to put together a super team of alien spirits.

Yes. Oh, that's so good. It's the other ninth dimensional spirits. So the thing is, he gets this team, but there's eight of them in the team. And it's not like you get all eight at once, but there's not enough of a gap between getting the first three and then the rest of them for it to even seem meaningful. So you get the first three, you get being down and you've got Jesus, who's known as Amor, nor idea why, Therobim slash Confucius and Moria slash Moses. And I thought, well, that's a bit harsh on my hammered, but then I don't think happy so I suspect instead of Confucius They originally had my hammered and I think the animators vetoed that

Can we can we be use someone else? So my sisters are so nice So yeah, those are the first three, but then you know how sometimes you're making a planet for the Venuctions to internally evolve their souls And then you accidentally make in there dinosaurs. Too many aggressive dinosaurs. Yep. Exactly. So they had to do about that. They got some warriors from the Magellot Cloud. Yeah. El Cantauri being all of these other aliens to Earth to go around hunting those dinosaurs and sort things out. And if you're wondering how did they hunt the dinosaurs? I was in your mind, this is obviously billions of years ago or however many years, millions of years ago. So obviously these warrior aliens were floating around on hoverboards

shooting them with lasers. So to the dinosaurs out. Yeah. I was picturing like Wily Coyote traps for the dinosaurs. Yeah. But of course, you know what it's like. If you give a Magellan Cloud alien a cookie, they're gonna massacre people. So they got some pussies from Orion to balance them out, along with three new grand spirits, Manu, matriere, and Isaac Newton. Sorry, Isaac Newton, the mathematician. Manu, nature, Isaac Newton. Sorry, Isaac Newton, the mathematician.

Yeah, yeah, that one. Isaac Newton. Okay. So then they got another set of immigrants. They don't actually say why, but they're from Pegasus, and they came with two other grand spirits. These are the last two Zeus and Zoraster. And at this point, I don't know about you guys,

but I really want to be at those grand spirit meetings. All right, everyone. I called the order of this meeting of the high spirits of El Contare. Now, as you all know, the humans have recently discovered a nuclear technology. Obviously, this is a great benefit, but also a great risk. I'm terribly sorry. A quick question. Yes, Isaac Newton question. Right, right. Is there any chance we might solve this one with biblical numerology? Again, I've worked really hard on it. We know you did Isaac, but we've had this conversation. Oh, that's easy for you to say, Confucius, but I wish I'd been born 2,000 years earlier, so I could just flat my gums about common sense and be a high spirit.

Okay, come on now. Uncalled for. Uncalled for. No, no, this always happens. This always happens. We call a meeting of the high spirits, and everyone listens to Lemoo and can't get enough of crack a jack or whatever. But whenever I come up with an idea, everybody looks at me like I'm the weird. But fine, fine. Isaac, what do you think we should do about Earth's recent discovery of atomic power? Have we tried not having sex? Okay, never mind.

Every time with this guy. Get out. Fine, but don't come crying to me when you're all sticky with sex juice. Okay, every time. So now we cut over to the spirit council, and they're sort of, I'm going to say summing up Earth's population for us. Yeah, and the thing about the spirit council is, they're only ever columns of colored light with kind of a vague, fuzzy person shape blob in the background. And I kept thinking I'd develop cataracts or something, because it's not only just when you're going to put Jesus in the film, you'd think, right,

we're going to get a classic animated Jesus in there, we'll have the beard, we'll have the long hair, but no, he's just like this sort of grayish silver blob in a sort of Star Trek-esque beamy-up Scotty, like light kind of stream. That's what they all are, and they're all a different color. This film was very impressed with how many colors it could name. That it was very proud to show that off. What year is it right now? How many million billion years ago?

Oh, who the fuck knows? It's older than 120 million years ago. I think it's close to about 400 million years ago. There, who the fuck knows? It's older than 120 million years ago. I think it's close to about 400 million years ago. There we go. Okay. So the population, what the spirits are talking about is that the population is now more than 40 billion, but immigrants, the ones from Pegasus and the Magellan Cloud and Orion, they're less than 10% of the population. What point is that making? What point? Because they said, but the immigrants are only less than 10%. Well, are you expect the immigrants to be a higher percent? Are you aiming for a high percentage? What are you worried that if you don't have as much

immigrant labor than some of the more menial jobs that the 40 billion members of the, your current, uh, uh, won't want to do, you don't get done? Like, what was it trying to say here? It was so strange. All right, guys, we need to build some slats around the atmosphere or something. This is getting ridiculous. They needed like a diversity initiative. It was very unclear. But what do you do when you don't have enough immigrants? That's right. You build a patron to clone the spirits of the immigrants. What? Well, yeah. So this is this is the thing. He says, we don't have enough immigrants.

So the way to do it is we need to get the immigrants to multiply on earth. But then they're not immigrants. They're actually if they're born on earth, they're not immigrants anymore. Yeah. Gotta get rid of that law. It doesn't. It doesn't count if you sneak in and do the boring thing. No, no, no, we're not doing that anymore. I'm crazy. What's a pythron, by the way? Oh, it's a giant tall tower that shoots a beam of light at an immigrant and then it turns into five immigrants instead of just one. Oh, yeah, and it's filled with loads of dudes sort of stood around in blue jumpsuits for No really clear reason. Yeah, not really every any obvious just watching Wow, this is a nightmare for some American people right now

Well, I'm glad you pointed that out because you see the clones. And I think we've all run into this problem. The clones aren't spiritual. So they all fuck each other and did heroin. You hate to see it. Heroin? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Okay. But not your current heroin, because it's still about 300 million years ago. So it's kind of, it's, it's proto-heroin. Yeah, space heroin. Why invent proto-heroin? It is just like a weird set of things. This, this God is putting together. Okay. Yeah. Just work around after work around.

There's such good voice overwork going on in the backgrounds when they take in heroine. Because it's got all the, all the, the sort of evil immigrant clones, sort of telling each other the dry drugs and stuff and they're saying, like, nobody's going to find out and everybody's doing it. And it is like straight out of like a 1980s school, just in all PSA. It's that level of kind of direct straight down the line. It's voice over, it's incredible. I don't like the taste of heroin.

My out. Yeah, so we get a little shot of the sinful world of the immigrant clones for a while here. They all live in like Tim Burton's Batmanvania or something. Yeah, I love that other in SpongeBob's neighborhood. It's got that kind of weightiness to it. They're all fucking each other. In fact, they fuck each other and do so much heroin and so much killing that they all, eventually their spirits break into pieces and go to a lower dimension than the one they're in. I'm not sure which one they're in.

And that dimension turns into hell because all their bad deeds and sadness turns into clowns that not even the light of Buddha can penetrate. Wow. Okay, that escalated quickly. God was like, all right, I'm an invent proto hero and I feel like this is gonna go well and they're all doing it.

Fuck, and there's hell now. They made a whole dimension hell. What the fuck? All right, so because we've got hell, obviously we need someone to kind of rule all of that. So and specifically 120 million years ago, very specifically on that date, one of the angry space elves who are, I guess the kind of space Muslims, I think that's who the warrior tribe who was supposed to be killing all those dinosaurs,

they came off, they were very corded as sort of historically Persian. So one of those angry space elves was reborn on earth, it said, he was already on Earth and alive, and then they just said he was reborn on Earth as Satan. So we've got this kind of Arabic Satan kind of guy going on. And so he started kind of having a big palace, getting himself loads of concubines and stuff. And whenever you're going to do that, you don't install a skylight because then you're going to invite invisible golden fairies to come and try and kill you with laser beams. And that is in fact what happens in visible golden fairies come down and attack him with

laser beams, which in turn makes him kill all of his friends and family because that's where the invisible golden fairies with laser beams are. Because of the skylight. I did not see that coming. I didn't know. Okay. Yeah, we wouldn't have a Satan if he'd have just gone for just a solid roof. Windle, put a window in.

They probably had windows then. They had spaceships. You can do windows. Yeah, but then he gets killed and goes to hell. Well, he gets hit with it by the sword of a sort of a blonde bearded fairy god wearing gold who just hit him the sword and that makes certain fold really, really slowly into hell. Not sure. But when he was in hell, we do know he was pretty pissed off about that. And that's why he grew tiny little batwings. I lifted up a rock.

Teeny tiny batwings lifts up a rock. And we also learned here and this is very important to me. The fuck is that? After he's damped down to hell, he becomes the king of hell, which I feel like is a weird election, right? Who's the most pissed off to be here? So now we cut back to the spirit council. And let me tell you, this hell shit is a real thorn in their side. Yeah, Isaac Newton is very clearly worried

about how hell is going to affect the world 120 million years ago. Yeah, and he's right because over the next 120 million years, the world got worse and worse. Plus, if you die inhabited by a demon, you become one. Yeah, and then in order to try and sort of inhabit other people, you end up sort of floating up to the surface. Sort of like a bad smell. He sort of sneaked between the surface, sort of like a bad smell, and you sort of sneak between cracks in the pavement, like a bad smell, and people inhale you, and then they're sort of like, oh, that smells like a, that's a hell demon, isn't it? And then they die as well and go to hell. Yeah, there's sort of a ferngully vibe to it. We tried to make an

anti-hell mask order and it was like, fuck you! But the thing is, every spirit in hell has to recruit more spirits to hell in order for hell to work. And all I'm saying is, if you're going to start a cult, right, and you don't want to seem like a con artist, try to avoid your foundational mythology, repeatedly resembling a pyramid scheme. He does this time and again in his story. It is. It's definitely a hell pyramid scheme.

It's tough. So the 24 spirits are like, ah, fuck, cloning machine, bad idea. So they kill everyone and start over. Yeah, kill everyone and start over. Yeah. And so the way they do that, we see the earth from space and we see all of hell concentrate on what looks

to be Australia. And I thought, can you imagine anybody stupid enough to think he can just take all of your evil and undesirable people and send them to Australia? You'd have to be ridiculous to think that was a good idea. Just start a lake of fire there. That's never going to happen. Come on. And then mankind got all swamped by hell so that the powers that be decided, yeah, you make earth completely uninhabitable for all in a move that's subsequently been taken

up by pretty much all conservative governments. So it's nice that we've got a true. Yeah. So with our second chance at civilization destroyed, Elk and Tari is hoping three is the charm and they start again. But this thing, that was the second one, but it said, so that's another civilization has been destroyed. I was like, are you counting Venus? Because the people came from Venus or was the dinosaurs also a civilization? Are you counting those in there?

I got very, very confused. But, well, one of the things I'm confused most about the voice over is that they kept changing who was doing the voice over. They kept sort of like tagging in a different voice over artist made way through. That was throwing me enough. And then when they started to have civilizations,

I was completely lost. Yeah. I am picturing dinosaurs in adorable togas right now though. I think the reason they did that is they just hired American voice actors until that voice actor was like, what the fuck is this script? And then they were like, all right, you're fired, bringing the next guy, bringing the next guy. So yeah, he's going to try again, but this time to make sure that everyone doesn't turn evil,

he's going to spend branches of his spirit to be guiding spirits of light. Oh, yeah. Oh, this is good because the way they talk about that as well is about how he needs to purify the world, which is already a kind of an awkward phrase to be using and it gives you a kind of, you know, why do you make me hurt like this kind of vibe from the spirits? But when they're talking about how they've had to purify the world by killing everyone, they literally say direct court, there's got to be a better way. There's got to be a better way.

Satan trying to open a carton of milk. He just walks out carrying 13 dimensions. They follow. So then we get one last view of hell. They now have clown necks. Marsht, do you remember this? The like weird clown robots? Yeah, that was that was strange. Satan's got particularly large as well. Satan's really worked up, but that's because it seems like there is a constant stream of golden angel fairies popping up to hitting with swords. So that's true. It's been it's a good workout.

He keeps that going for a hundred million years. Once you've got one golden angel fairy, you know you've got a thousand. He's terribly got it. You got to throw it all your cereal. It's the fucking work. You're just a nest of golden fairies. You open up a cupboard, they're all out in the background. So it's startled by the light skin.

It's the big tent over the entire dimension. We got to set the bomb. We got to leave for a week. Where can I just get some, get a motel. Golden fairy traps at the hardware store. But don't worry, because 17,000 years ago, Elk and Tari's light descended on the continent of Mou. And this, oh, this doesn't make sense,

because they say this project was planned 17,000 years ago, but is it 17 because was it 80 billion years ago or was it 120 million years ago? Like at what point do you consider this the start of the project? Because you were all, everything was getting to this point, but now 17, what happened in the 120 million years, between 120 million years ago, which we were just on with Satan and 17,000 years ago. These are all just big numbers, Marsha. You're being ridiculous. In the words of the happy science cult, you're overthinking it. All right. Well, if I understand this all correctly, I probably don't correct me if I'm wrong,

but you guys probably don't know. But it seems like the great spirit is going to give civilization a third chance on, I believe you described it as a non-existent continent named Mo. So I'm going to need a quick break to do a tremendous amount of acid. And when I'm tripping hard enough, we'll be back for even more. The laws of the sun. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the first presidential debate of the hell. I'm Matt Lauer. Yeah, I'm not not sure what I was expecting, but I guess it's good to be back at work tonight. Two Titans of torment, vie for control of the underworld. We have Satan, Prince of Darkness, who fell from heaven just over 6000 years ago after his battle against God. We have Satan, Prince of Darkness, who fell from heaven just over 6,000 years

ago after his battle against God. And of course, we have President Donald Trump, who choked on a big Mac last week. Gentlemen, thanks for joining me. Thanks for having me, Matt. Demon, fire, camera, demon, nailed it. All right. So tonight's questions are all submitted by residents. Mr. Trump, you're up first. Stacey in the doom hole asks, dear God, stop the burning, make the burning stop. Oh, well, Tracy, let me just say that the burning we do here, it's the best in the world, the best in the universe. It's a clean burn. Not a lot of people know that, but it's clean. And I think you're going to be really, really happy with the burning in the future. Oh, you're done. Okay, great. Satan, your response? What? That was nonsense. Look, you're going to be really happy with the burning. Of course you won't. It's hell. You're not supposed to be

happy here. All right. I see. Next up, a question for Satan. Lots of people feel that an ontological outsider could really mix things up. Why should the people of hell stick with you as their leader? Honestly, does anybody think we need an outsider here? Like, what possible good could less expertise and less experience do? Not only do I reject the premise, it's based on a stupid myth also in the first place. Boonard. Boonard.

Boonard. Yes, well, the screams of the undying are in and, yep, by a small margin, Donald Trump is the new king of hell. It's official. I can't believe this. Wow, what an honor. Let me say I look forward to being the mast head of the worst possible place filled with the most possible suffering

for the second time. How did I lose this? Oh, electoral college. There's an electoral college in hell. There's nothing but an electoral college in hell. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, tracks. I'm Matt Lauer. You're tangling it.

I'm I'm bunching it so I can release it. That's tangling. It's tangling. Hey guys, guys, what's with the yelling? Oh, hey, like, he's and I are just setting up our new cell phone plan. That is two cans and a string that you have there and a very affordable string. Guys, guys, if you want to switch cell phone plans, why don't you just try Mint Mobile? What's Mint Mobile? They're the first company to sell premium wireless service online only. Mint Mobile lets you maximize your savings with plans starting at just $15 a month. After we'd done a couple of ads for them, I actually made the switch and I've saved

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Well, to get your new wireless plan for just $15 a month and get the plan shipped to your door for free, go to mintmobile.com slash cam. That's mintmobile.com slash cam. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month, that mintmobile.com slash cam. Alright. Give me just a second while I tell Heath. Hey, Heath, did you hear about Mintmobile? Heath, you got... you have to listen inside of the can. I know I'm busy. I'm busy right now. Doing what? Yeah man doing what? It's heath stuff.

You don't know I have stuff. Okay just pick up the can. And we're back far, I'd say it's pretty straightforward story of Venue-shin immigrants cloning themselves and accidentally making hell despite the help of the great spirit, Isaac Newton. Question though, did anything happen on entirely fake continents? Well, as a matter of fact, it did he, and I should point out that that is what the rest of the movie will be. El Cantare reincarnating as a dude with awesome pecs. And the first one, okay, will be a guy named Lamu from the continent of Mew. Yeah. And didn't, didn't they make, didn't he make them call the continent after his name? Yeah. That was it. No, they volunteered. They volunteered. They liked him so much. They named

the whole continent after him. I love that they're fake continent means kind of the nothing. Which is brilliant. And move appeared 370,000 years ago, where Indonesia is now, which is a fucking wild thing to say. So that's so weird. So first of all, yeah, it appeared 370,000 years ago. And at this point, I'm drawing like a timeline on the wall. I'm using red string to keep track of what I've been happy when they're just throwing data at me. But they say, yeah, Moo is twice the size of Australia and located roughly where Indonesia is. And I wrote like, guys, I think you're thinking of Australia. I think Australia and roughly where Indonesia is. That's Australia.

You're talking about. No, no, because they had a bunch of spiders and everyone, everyone was like three clicks more attractive than America. You understand. You understand. All right. I created that Proto-Heroan. I'm doing drop bears too. I feel like, I like three clicks more attractive than America. You understand, you understand. All right, I created that proto-hero and I'm doing drop bears too. I feel like, dude, I got a good thing. This will be good. Oh, and it's great as well because they say on Mew, 20,000 years ago, the first signs of

civilization appeared. It's like, yeah, but that's around about 200 million years or so behind the rest of the planet, which to be fair is more up to date than current Australian culture is. So they were actually better than the ostrich. Shots fired. the rest of the planet, which to be fair is more up to date than current Australian culture is. So they were actually better than the ostrich. Shots fired. But as we see, Moo is actually doing pretty well. They have laser pyramids.

They have got laser pyramids, yeah. Okay. I was hoping for something like that. Specifically, the laser pyramids are to zap the other laser pyramids with sunbeams in order to make water happen mechanically. Yeah. What? Yeah.

It's never quite explained, but the narrator does let us know that civilization reached its peak again with the laser pyramids. You know, they're putting fluoride in those lasers. It's, uh, it's no good. So we cut over to La Mou and La Mou, by the way, is the first of many incarnations of El Cantare, who is delicious looking. I mean, he put your fist in my mouth, La Mou. That's all I'm going to say. What's that? Put your fist in my mouth. La Mou, circle back. That's, that's it. Put your fist in my mouth. La Mou. That's my, my, my

official statement on it. But he's just what he lies into. Yeah. He's praying. But you're fisting my mouth. La Moon. That's my, my official statement on it. But he's just what he lies into. Yeah. He's praying. My mouth fisting. Oh, that's a positive sexual thing to you. Yeah. As opposed to what?

A negative eating thing. Pay attention. Unless it, unless it was like a kind of bite down on this kind of thing. Oh, right. It was neither positive nor negative, but it was a coping mechanism. Like a civil war doctor. A good hurts. Yeah. But he's praying and he's he's going through sort of a doodly do slash Montage of everyone

in his society being dicks. Yeah. Yeah. And there's one guy who he says, why don't you pray with me? And the guy says, this is the edge of advanced solar technology. Who needs silly prayer? And I thought, yes, mate, in any reasonable world, you would be the hero of this film. You've got all the technology you do not need prayer. You are right that it is silly. But yeah, we do a sort of a montage of a guy getting fired and then there's a woman who,

okay, Marcia, help me out on this. The mom who's holding her son. The kid's supposed to be sick, right? That's what the movie is like trying to indicate to us. I can't tell if he's supposed to be sick or if he's like selfish and she's sort of disfaring for his, his soul, I'm not sure. It's, it is very unclear. There's never like usually when you show the sick kid, there's a moment where the doctor

comes and shakes his hand, but what we will watch to those montages, this mom holding this little boy and she just looks disappointed to have a kid at all. Yeah, yeah, because the thing is, if the kid was sick, the next thing we see is people in a hospital and the kid isn't there. So it's not sickness because we, they've got hospitals, they got way, well, they've got places where people were winging women lie around complaining about not having access to water and how shit the facilities are, but they sell that as a hospital. Yeah, they have very, very strange standards for the hospital here. We show this scene inside the hospital. Everyone's like, fix my rash. Where's the doctor? I want a

bath every day. But real quotes. So yeah, we see the hospital that's going to get one star on yelp. What are what are we watching right now? This is a civilization that's part of the history in a positive way. Yeah, it's kind of Egyptian ish. I would say is kind of how the that framing it. Yeah, Egyptian, but LaMou is disappointed. So he gathers everyone around to hear himself speak on his birthday. Yeah, I mean,

and we've got like a whole procession of people going there with some fruit. You've got like a guy who falls down and everyone in the march obviously at the point where that somebody that pushes him down knocks the old guy over obviously everybody in the march resigns, at the point where that somebody that pushes him down, knocks the old guy over, obviously, everybody in the march, resigns in solidarity with the person who pushed the old guy down, because that's what happens in civilized society, you side with the person who's pushing old people. Yep. And so Lamu comes out and gives a speech. And here's how I would describe the speech, Marsh, I'm very interested in your take on

it. Imagine you were asked to give an inspiring speech to an entire continent, but you had prepared nothing and had nothing to say. That's what this speech is. Yes, but in his defense, whenever he steps into the sun, he starts sparkling like he's a twilight vampire. And at that point, you don't need speeches because everyone's gonna be like, oh yeah, I can see you're pretty, you're pretty good. So the speech that he gives, and actually, like this probably says more about you than anything else. So the speech that he gives, and actually, this probably says more about you than anything else.

In that situation where you've got lots of people listening and you haven't prepared anything and you think this is kind of him kind of vamping, he starts by saying, I am a god. And that's where you'd go with that. It's like, well, I've not got anything written down. So I guess I'm announcing my deity. Look, just saying I'm never getting attacked

by a giant marshmallow man because of it. So yeah, he starts this speech. And as Marsh mentioned, as he's saying these sort of somewhat truisms, but also bizarre piece of advice. So he'll be like, don't be selfish. Give to your fellow man, quote, learn something every second. Yeah. Do not ever end a second without learning something.

Which is psychopathic advice. Don't constantly look at the encyclopedia. Awesome. He says the preceding sentence, he says, God will love you without asking anything of you in return. And all he asks in return is that you constantly strive for spiritual proof and learn something every second of the day. Yeah. We won't ask for anything except homework on a second of second places. Okay. Yeah. And it also mentions a please ignore that I appear to be shedding glitter just just

ignore it. It's a special kind of danger. Glitter. No, I have a cream. I have a cream. What do you want to take a time out and put it on? Because I'm really not listening to anything you're saying. It's a lot of glitter. But yeah, Lamu sort of gives this big speech and then we praise him a little bit. Oh, and this is why he tells him the uneasy God. He's also the son. Yeah, and people are like, oh wow, he's the son.

And at this point, I really want him to actually be the son. And so for all of the millions of people in front of him to be like hurtling towards him, to introduce gravitational puller, like burning up on as they approach him. Oh, sure, it'd have been something smaller. There's a, all right, four times a charm. But no, so now we cut over to Lamu. And this is very important. This is where the movie lets a little bit of its agenda show. It's like Lamu was a great ruler who always checked with God whenever he made national policy. And we see everyone who was going through shitty stuff before praying at their special Lamu shrines, which he pershings a giant golden ring into and then they glow. Yes. Yeah. Everyone's got their own pyramids in their room and the pyramid starts lighting up whenever they pray, which is

more tangible proof than any religion has ever managed subsequently. And it's not that much more impressive than a light bulb at best. And that's still more than any religion has achieved is basic prayer is light bulbs. Also, and you know that's going to be a drag, right? You get up in the middle of the night for a piss and you're like, Oh, fuck, um, oh, Lamu, you're so great. Worm. I'm just going to get this piss. What it went off?

Fucking motion detected pray light bulbs. And things how Lamu sends that kind of zap out is he, he basically looks like he explodes. And this is not the first time, and this might be the first time, it's not the only time in the film, that he explodes in what looks to be a mushroom cloud in the middle of a city,

which is a weird visual to give as a Japanese cult that is pro-nuclear weapons. Yeah, this seems to be part of their agenda. So after the death of La Muthagreight, yeah, everyone turns into dicks again, and he heath now based on what you've learned so far any guess is what they do when they turn into Dix uh proto heroine that is correct the answer is but Elkentari is not doing the whole restart the planet thing so La Mue

disappears beneath the ocean and that's why there's no evidence it ever existed. Yeah. What's lovely is the way they explain it as I say, their bad deeds made the continent sink in three stages. Oh, the continent fell into the ocean. See, that's why you don't name yourself as a god. The same as the continent. I didn't understand what happened. Yeah. Okay. Now, the whole continent sank in three stages.

Then they move on. They don't tell you those three stages. I don't know why they bothered pointing out it fell in three separate stages, but they're not going to tell you what they are. Move on. Yeah. Um, and don't worry. Everyone on Lamu doesn't die.

People escape on boats. And that's where Japanese, Chinese, and Vietnamese people come from. That fits. This annoyed me a bit. Because they said, what? Some of the people from Mu were able to escape on boats. And they became Japanese, Chinese and Vietnamese. But other people sailed eastward. So I saw the other people also escaped on board. So it's not some of them escaped on board. The people of Mu escaped on board. And some of them went to become Japanese, Chinese, and Vietnamese is what you're trying to say.

It was so confusing. Okay, so they were in Indonesia, ones that when Eastward became like Africa. No, no, so think a bit more north than that. And think fictional. Okay. Were you guessing it, Lannis? Because they go to Atlantis us. They went east to it

land us from Indonesia, got it. And to be fair, some of them didn't arrive in both. Some of them did arrive in airplanes that Atlantis had 12,000 years ago. They just had planes. Then so that's how they got to the fictional content of Atlantis from the other fictional content of Mu on their airplanes. They're 12,000 year old airplanes. And they're on Atlantis. What is so mad? Alcantare reincarnated again for the second time as Thoth. Hmm.

Thoth, the omniscient and omnipotent who knew about some stuff. Yep. Yep. It says, Thoth was omniscient and he had great knowledge in a number of fields. Not all of the fields, then. Not all the fields. Is the number infinity? Because that's a weird way to say it.

And the direct quote about what fields is there's a number of fields ranging from religion, politics, philosophy, science and art. That's the end of that sentence. That's not how ranging doesn't range to something. Okay. A range, an event ranging yet. A range of all this. So yeah, the Atlanteans, obviously, and look, this is all news. I don't need to tell anybody, but the Atlanteans, they immigrate from there to Egypt to Rome and Greece. That's where Western civilization comes from. Then Thoth dies and now it's time for reent out crowd. And don't worry if I pronounced that wrong because one, that guy's not real. And two, this movie will pronounce his name at least four different ways. Okay. Is this another lower level God? This is El Cantare reincarnating himself again. Yeah.

Oh, okay. He became La Mue and now he's becoming Rier and Col Corone. Well, he, if you paid attention, first he was El Cantare. Then actually before that, he was El Miore, but that's what we, like the long term fans of El Contare Norma's. I mean, some of them all kind of Johnny Cum Laithly's don't know about the early stuff, but if you were there from the start, man, you'd get it. I saw Elmiori playing a garage with six high spirits. Isaac Newton was there. Moses, Jesus is the best.

Confucius was there. But no, Rianto Cloud is the reincarnation that takes place in the ancient Inkin peoples. Yes. And the thing is everywhere. Of Atlantis. Every, no, this is after Atlantis. Has Atlantis sank? Atlantis is sank by now again, hasn't it? I mean, it's the same thing happened. Atlantis is probably in three stages. Yeah. No, I remember very vividly actually Atlanta sinks and they don't tell you how many stages it sank in. So what will never know these things? That's

ridiculous. I have no idea what that looks like. Well, bad movie. When you're watching, it is much easier to tell who is the reincarnation of Alcantara because in every different version of himself, he is constantly dripping in gold jewelry. This guy wear a lot of gold clothing. He had a look that look survived multiple centuries, multiple different incarnations self, just look for the guy dressed in as bling as possible. And that's, that's your, your humble God. Late Elvis humble guy. Oh, but his pecs are every incarnation of him. And this is very important because it's for the best surprise at the very, very end of the movie. Every incarnation of Alcantare is like super ripped with a 27 pack and a chiseled jaw. Just just keep that in mind as we go through these incarnations. I promise it'll pay off at

the end. But yeah, we're in ancient, put your fist in my mouth. Yeah, exactly. So we're in ancient Inca, everyone's doing a feather mass dance like you do. Sure. And then the announcer guy who sounds like your impersonation of me or a mean impersonation of Jews, depending on how you want to interpret it out. Okay. Yeah, that's what I. That my impersonation you was like, buck, buck, it's just noises. It's not. Yeah, juice, whatever. So yeah, he announces that there's going to be a human sacrifice to God that night. Oh, okay. Yeah. What is that going to accomplish? Well, I'll tell you.

So we cut over to Jew voice guy visiting God. Yeah. This is, this is, this is you tell it Eli because I'm not going to be able to get to this is this is my favorite part of the movie because it's where the movie is like we haven't even talked about this ship but we are now so offensive Jewish voice guy he goes to see God God's like yes I want to sacrifice and then he leaves and God pulls off his face because he's a reptilian. Well, he's not a reptilian. He's a reptilian. The race of aliens who are reptiles are the reptilian.

And at this point for a film, for a legacy that has been pretty imaginative so far, it's kind of let themselves down by just going with the reptilians as the evil reptiles, with red eyes that want to eat people and invade earth. The reptilians. Okay, and God is one of them. God is one of these reptile masses. The evil God. The evil Incongod, not our God, not the dripping kind of beautiful Elyse, Elyse questioning the validity of his marriage by this point level of God. That's Elkantare. Oh, the evil. The evil races that sailed in a different direction. Yeah, they came down.

The God of the... So we do see some Inca drawings of this evil race sort of descending down into that area on a flying boat. But when you do see those drawings, I was confused because they look so clearly like minions that I was completely lost on this. I just thought that they were just drawing minions from despicable means. And we learn here that the reptilians want to eat humans,

but that's against the law. So what they do is they make the humans act like dicks. And if the humans act like dicks, they're allowed to eat them so that quote, they could control the planet before the space police interfered. Stop resisting, dude. Endexact real unexplained quote. Yeah, yeah, space police are here. Okay, they worked it in. And so they have this kind of thing going on where they're like, they wanna invade Earth,

but doing that would be a violation of the prime directive because of this is peaceful. So they don't do that. But instead what they do is just brainwash people to be evil. But like that kind of still feels like you're interfering with earth at that point. It doesn't feel like that's not interrupting. I don't think you're circumnavigating the rules

by saying we're not allowed to interfere. All we're allowed to do is brainwash people to be evil. Oh yeah, and occasionally eat people from earth. But other than not knowing to fear it. It's completely hands off, guys. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is stop resisting the God policy. Exactly. Yeah. So we see some characters who we met, like 45 seconds ago and the evil space alien guards, they come to take the daughter for a sacrifice to the reptilians, but just is there about to sacrifice the daughter who shows up? Reent out crowd.

He's the God number three. Yep. God's third name. Okay. Great. And so he shows up just as literally as the ax is lifted and is about to come down. He shows up, but he shows up really far away. And I think they had plenty of time to drop that ax

before they even noticed him there. Like, I just want him to be like a minute late. And be like, oh man, I knew I shouldn't have put all this gold jewelry on. It's like the clasps took me way too long to fasten. And I could have been here earlier. That's on me. That is definitely on me that one.

And there's this great moment where Riantol Kraut explains that they're reptilians or sorry, reptilians, not actually God. And what's great is Jew voice guys, like, what are you talking about? They have flying ships because we see that the reptilians have flying ships. He's like, how are they not God? They have flying ships. And he's like, uh, just as you can fly, doesn't mean you're God.

And then to prove that he releases a single balloon. Yes, he does. Confused by this. And there's another point where the guy you call in the, the, the, the Joufala, he says, like, oh, I don't believe you. Show me the proof. And Riantal Crude says, I can see the past, the present, and the future. He's like, well, that's good enough for me. I mean, that's that counts as proof. And here's a balloon animal. Now do you believe him? He doubles down though, he goes plus, plus,

which is always weird when your God says plus, plus. I can exist beyond time and space as a bonus. Oh. And literally everyone in the crowd is like, okay, we're still, we're still sold. Yeah, we have four dimensions here. You said like 13, could you describe the other one besides time and space?

No, do you have any balloons? Oh, balloons, okay, okay. And this is where he tells them what happened to Atlantis and about how Atlantis turned and they buried all of the faithful people alive in the town square. But to be fair, they didn't make the faithful people say happy holidays. So Christians these days still do have it worse. They're so much worse in terms of persecution. And their evil thoughts made the continent sink in an unspecified amount of stages. Again, wow. And I will say this is

a first for any of the religious movies we've watched. Everyone watching literally is just like, yeah, good enough for me. They take off their mask, they throw down their armor and they're just like, yep, they're at Gullam on your side now, Riantle crowd. But not before Riantle crowd, I think it's around about the same time that Riantle crowd starts doing his sparkly thing, doing his twilight vampire sparkly thing. Yeah. And doing the YMCA. Yes.

I was going to say he does. What now? He does a celebratory YMCA gesture, which sends out extra golden sparkles and un-puehifies headbed guy. And now, like they realized they were running out of real or something, they speed through two more incarnations because fuck those guys. This is literally how it goes. I'm not exaggerating. And then in Greece, there was a Phaleas, the fundamental god of Greece who also had a floating golden stick. Then Hermes, I don't know,

fuck of Phaleas. Anyways, they were both cool to moving on. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a Phaleas. It says who could perform miracles. And that's all we know about him. We know what those miracles were. And there's Hermes who as far as I can tell is the god of mini skirts, because he is. He, this guy knows he's got some pins to die for and he's not afraid to use them. Maybe it's Hermes like the fashion company.

Ooh, that explains it. All right, well, I think I'm gonna need another minute to recover from that obvious white erasure that just plays in history. So we're going to take a quick break one more time. But first, let me give back three of the hard sell. Are Martian Eli just making shit up to mess with me? Pretty sure they are.

Do you think people ever get confused when they visit LAMU in the continent of Lamu seems like a who's on first type of situation. Will the reptilians ever come back or matter? Why not the answer to these questions and more along with me in the thrill and conclusion of the laws of the sun? Wait, you're saying flies are better than worms. Flies away better.

What, you're crazy. Oh, shit, shit, shit, it's the space police. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, are you holding? Of course I am, we just picked up all those humans on Earth. Oh fuck you, right, oh we are so fucked. Dude, it's okay, be cool, be cool, I got this. Hi, hi, good evening, officer. Good evening.

How are you boys doing tonight? I'm fantastic officer. Dude, be cool. evening officer. Good evening. How you boys doing tonight? I'm fantastic officer. Dude, be cool. I'm sorry, sorry. We're fine. Oh, okay. Glad to hear it. Did you happen to notice you blew through a dust cluster back there?

Like, what? I'd grow bad. I did. No. Yeah, right through, as I call on prime, right through. The weather's really nice today officer. What are you doing? Sorry, man. I'm sorry. Anyway, just wanted to make sure. So just a quick question. You guys don't have any humans on board. Do you? What? Humans?

No, we never touch humans. I hate humans. Okay. Well, you boys have a nice night. Slow down through those clusters, all right? Yeah, we'll do officer, thank you. Oh, wow, man. Lucky we're all bino lizards, am I right? Tell me about it. And we're back. When we left off, El Contare was trying on vessels like a shopping

montage in an 80s makeover movie. So, uh, Marshyly, who did he crawl into next? I'm glad you asked, Heath, because the answer is Buddha. Fantastic. Okay. So this is where Buddhist history sort of crosses into happy science called history. Well, let's just say that they have a long haired ripped pecs version of Buddha that I want to put his face in my mouth. Yeah, and it's very much a long haired pecs white version of Buddha because he, there is not a lot of people of color as they move their way around Indonesia and India. I mean, we don't know what the people of Atlantis look

like or the people of Mou look like. We do know what the people of India look like and it's not this guy. But yeah, he's bored and and they're sort of going with the Siddhartha story here, but they've got their own crazy twist on it. So we watch as he's about to get married and he's bored by the dancers and he's bored by the grape his wife offers him. But then we see him under his famous tree for those of you who aren't familiar. Buddha sat under a tree for 40 years. So he's under the tree and we're going to go through Buddha's temptations.

But again, these are not the Machia of the Pali Canon. These are the crazy interpretations of Buddha via the happy science called. So first, he's going to meet Yashona, who is a sexy fire lady who offers to do backflips for him. Yeah, yeah, who then Dr. Stranger's herself into 30 versions of her to surround him, which I thought this is going to do for him and he's going to be totally into this with all 30 hers. He's going to have an absolute whale of a time, but he says he's not interested in having

second, though, because it will only bring about pain and suffering and apparently that's not what he's into when it comes to that kind of thing. So you know, each of their own. I like the idea that Buddha's trying to do this original like, all right, think about nothing for 40 years. I got this sexy lady. She's just up doing back flips. She's like, ah, come on.

Got me. Got me. Back flips are my thing. Okay. Okay. How many six minutes? Fuck. All right.

Start counting the breaths again. One. Then he nags all the satanic ladies. He's like, so you're the devil, which is why you're all ugly, but, but there's good in each of you. Make your heart and mind beautiful. And the satanic demon wit ladies back away because Buddha creeped to the mountain. But they do back away with a lot of kind of lady gasps and lady groans that I hit for my earphones in because I didn't want Nicola thinking I was watching porn. It was that. I mean, what do you want to be caught watching the laws of the sun or some good old fashioned porn? Hey, Marsh, you got

you got your fist in your mouth. What's happening? So now it's time for his next temptation. So now it's time for his next temptation. Sidotha. And this is Brahma, or as I call him in my notes, black Santa. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I read through your notes ahead and I saw a black Santa and I was just like, bad for more than anything else.

Okay. Very excited. This is Brahma appearing to El Cantare inside of the Buddha. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's doing his booming, no voice of kind of how bullshit is it? Is the voice that he's doing? Yeah. He looks like if you, if like black Santa was a character in a two-player fighter game. And he's like, look, you did a good job resisting those lady devils, but you forgot your father. Don't you remember when you forgot your father? Do do do do do do do.

I do, I do like the idea that you got black Santa as a fighter in a two-player fight and game, but I think specifically the character is white Santa, but then when the second player also selects that character, you get black Santa. Or you select him and you press low kick, then you get black Santa, you know, that tracks. So now we're in Buddha's doodly-do. Sorry. What? Like, there's some kind of racial supremacy thing going on here with this happy science cult, but are they white supremacists from Japan? I'm not clear. It's not clear. It's also an anime convention slightly as well. Yeah, it's not clear who they think is the top of the chart. It's just pretty clear who they think is near the bottom of the chart. That's where they focus. That's the more important part of

the chart. Yeah. Fuck. So now we're in Buddha's doodly do. And this is just pretty much straight. The Siddhartha story is dad's like, Hey, who's going to take over if you sit under a tree and he's like, go fuck yourself. And then his mom is sad because he's going to go sit under a tree and he tells her to go fuck herself. And we watch him seeing these memories. And as he's thinking about his mom being said, his magic tree begins to,

I want to say vape, Marsh, is it fair to say the tree vape? So I thought these were some of the hell smells that, that in, in, in people, they were sort of seafing up through the roots. And so he's been sort of surrounded by hell smells. Oh. So he's, he's sitting there, he's be set by hell smells. They start to wrap around his delicious abdomen and his tight, tight pecs and run their evil tentacles along this. I enjoyed this part of the movie. You know what else I'm at about here is the big belly a racer. That's, that's a big deal in Buddhism for me. That's like a positive thing. Not enough dad bod. Yeah. For sure.

But then that moderation. Brahma gives away the game. He says it's important to enjoy yourself and Buddha like a cowboy in an old flick goes Did you just tell me to enjoy myself? And he blasts a golden light out from him which destroys all the blacks vape ropes that were Yeah, and this is, this is why we found out that it's not really Brahma. It's the devil in disguise. And by disguise, I mean, he looks exactly the same when he is and when he's not. So it is not a great disguise. And so there's a couple of things I want to point out here.

The first is, this is the first time that someone ever goes, never. And then they go, the answer is not to enjoy yourself or to not enjoy yourself. The answer is medium amounts of enjoyment. And also another movie first for us. He tells Brahma that he's the devil and the devil for the first time in the history of the show goes, wow, that's really hurtful, man.

I'm really disappointed that you'd be so mean spirited. I mean, yes, I am the devil, but seriously, that's hurt. And in fact, he's so hurt that he becomes super duper jacked black. He grows like extra pectorials on his pectorials. Yeah, and he gets massive as well. He gets like so tall, he's like looming over and we get this incredible battle, which is only somewhat undercut by the fact that the hero doesn't move at any point throughout the battle.

Just sits there while it all just happens around him. Okay. If you were hoping for an anime battle where 50% of it was a guy sitting under a tree, you're in luck. All right. So, so just to be clear, what's happening in the plot of this movie, the Buddha is having a giant fist fight with an oversized black Santa Claus. Mm hmm. Well, black Santa just threw a tornado of screams at him, but Buddha is like meh to the tornado

of screams. So it bounces off his Buddha shield. Yeah, the less he moves, the more powerful he becomes. And so he just gets more and more still as blacks and the throws everything at him. And he reacts to it by not reacting to it. It's an incredibly dramatic fight. Yeah. It's hard to ramp up the still once you get to still. You think that except now, black Santa Satan actually gets bigger.

He grows a 16 pack and then summons his invincible warriors, which I will tell you was a weird sentence to write in our numbers. But again, he has a flower pet her shield and the giant dog evil things don't really. He has a what shield? Uh, a flower petal shield. It's like flower petals name blocks the tornado block the well, no, the tornado screams. This is a while ago. These are the invincible warriors. They sort of come in a dog question.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Got it. And this is also where Buddha yells, I will defeat you with the power of wisdom. And the like evil invincible demons are literally blown back by his wisdom. They're like, he's too wise. It's like he learns something every second of every day. And Marsh, I need you to tell me if you saw what I saw because it's spiritually important to me. But as wisdom hits Satan in the dick, right? I mean, maybe that's what Buddha knows best.

You know, that's maybe where his wisdom is centered. He just knows a lot about dicks. As far as I understood and listener, you should absolutely watch this movie. It's free on YouTube. As far as I understand it, Satan gets hit in the dick by Buddha's wisdom and then he's like, Oh, fuck it, I'm going home and disappear.

Yeah, yeah, so you know, how you get people who are like, they're not book smart, but they're street smart, like, but is that he's not book smart, he's dick smart. There you go. That's, he just knows a lot about dick. Yeah. So with Satan defeated, it's time for Booted to tell us what he learned today.

And I guess what he learned is that his family can fuck themselves. Yeah. So I started to, I must have it. I was tuning out a little bit here because it was all getting a bit much better. But does he turn, so it cuts to like a massive hand trying to like grab the Milky Way,

like a massive golden hand and then it goes translucent. And then he found out it's Buddha and he's massive and translucent and in space. And he can see his hands of see through and he's bigger than all the galaxies. And then he 100% looked down to try to see his space cock, but there's a guy who's right in the way of his spacecock. There is fortunately a sensorious galaxy right in the way in Buddha's dangle dangle. So then it's a decent sized galaxy. It's expanding. But then Buddha went around

teaching everybody about Buddhism and they explain, you know, how much everyone loved him But now it's time for the sermon at Eagle Peak You know Eagle Peak the famous Buddhist mountain where Buddha revealed his alien friends and the laws of the sun Aliens friends laws of sun. Yep Because this is where Buddha explains that ever since he was perfect 40 years ago, no big deal anyway, try your best to be like him. Um, he's ready to show them his true form, which is what we do know that his true form can shoot lasers from his full head, that turn into massive, massive, albs of light. That's a really, really important part of it. I bet he could mechanically create water with that too.

Yeah. Just a couple of pyramids set up and we could make some money off this guy. A literal pyramid scheme right now. So he shoots a laser out of his head. Multi water level marketing. So he shoots a laser out of his head and reveals the ultimate truth that good people are good and bad people are bad. Yes. Yeah. And also sometimes people in hell can get beamed up to heaven. But it seems to be like all they have to do is want that to happen. So it could all just decide they no longer want to be in hell because of how helly it all

is and then they're not in hell anymore. So, it seems like a flaw in that whole, that previous pyramid scheme we had going on with recruit to 10 more people in hell and you'll be the one getting all their, their greatest mouths. Interesting. Yeah, I'm done and you're not in hell anymore. Yeah. It's like heaven is actually hell because if you can beam yourself from one place to the other but not back, the one you

can't leave is hell. There you go. But don't worry, just as this is explaining this, a giant glowy castle appears behind him. Yeah, he makes a spaceship or a building or a tower or something out of nowhere and it beams him up and gives him a really sweet golden hat. Yeah. And I want to point out that there's this amazing moment in the movie here where he gets beamed up by the Goldie Tower thing that just got created behind him. But then he comes literally right back. Yeah, that means he comes literally right back.

Yeah, that means he's straight back again. But he's got Red Sauer crowd with him this time. And he's like, hey, this is my friend, Rajat Gool or whatever. I dare you to try to picture us not fucking. You can't. It's impossible. Line up afterwards if you know what I'm saying. And this is a bit where Buttigieg starts to show them footage from earlier in the film. Yeah.

He shows them earlier in the film sort of explains the plot so far. It might be fair to say that he sums up the movie. And then, okay, this is gonna be a deep cut, but he crimes of Grindelwald's for all of Buddhist followers. You remember in crimes of Grindelwald's for all of Buddha's followers. You remember in crimes of Grindelwald, the Harry Potter movie, where he blows the smoke for all the wizards and they see the Holocaust and World War II. And he's like, Hey, this is probably a bad thing.

That's what Buddha's going to do for everybody right now. Mm. But don't worry, because eventually there will be a small tax evasion scam based out of Japan. Yeah, he says about how you know shows some Nazis nuclear weapons real buzzkill kind of stuff and then he says But don't worry the Sun will rise again, which sounds a bit Nationalistic coming from a Japanese group Rising Sun, it's a bit that really little a Japanese group. Yeah. Part of the rising sun. It's a bit that really. The little on the nose.

Yeah. And then you get Lords of Sparkly aliens that arrive asking for, asking Buddha for information about the sun. This is the best. Other aliens who we will never be introduced to. I will never be explained. Show up to this speech like wedding crashers and are like, hi, sorry, sorry, we just wanted to hear what Buddha had to say.

Yeah. And they say, like, so, so they say, like, let us make a utopia on earth. It's like, no, I'm going to, like, cause an earthquake so that fire of angels can appear out of the ground instead. And that's kind of what but it does it. This point, instead of doing the utopia thing, he does the earthquake fire angels who and the fire angels are a shape shifting to have different forms, some of which have wings, some of them don't.

I'm really confused by a lot of this in my notes. I call them wacky inflatable waving arm flailing. Two angels because that's how they appear. Yeah. Okay. They need to workshop the stuff they invent. Like they did the proto heroine. It went real badly. They did atomic power and nukes and now they're doing evil flying ain't what,

what was the thing? The last one. They're wacky inflatable waving arm-failing two-bangels, but it turns out that those. That one sounds better. Wacky inflatable waving arm-failing two-bangels are his disciples, which is everyone in the crowd of the speech he's giving. And then all the Buddhist monks stay with me. He do not let go. All the Buddhist monks are revealed to be characters from earlier incarnations of El Cantare, like, you guy and Lady Humane's her son and guy who didn't want to pray and there's other characters. Yeah, woman in the hospital, all going false over. It all, the kid who is going to be sacrificed, it all kind of comes together like they reveal

at the end of usual suspects. But the only thing that was really clear was that all these characters had the same face throughout history. This girl had the same face, but I didn't think that was kind of a through-line, ingenious thread. I just thought it was poor artistic talent, like when you get one of those tourist artists in like a square in Paris and they kind of draw tourists, but everyone starts off with the same eyes and those amounts. You just got a different hat and you're holding a skateboard. And you said you like skateboards.

That's what it felt like was going on here. Yeah, I thought that maybe they had bought a certain amount of anime models and like, uh, yeah, we'll give you more of these 16 characters. But no, it turns out that everyone who follows Buddha has been incarnating over and over and over again so that they can teach the laws of the sun in 2,500 years when he will incarnate in his final and most perfect form. Mm hmm. 2,500 years from the present.

Uh, no, from what Buddha died about 2,500 years ago. It's spoiler alert. Oh, so now that should have happened sometimes since 1986. He's talking about the guy who's the head of their cult right now. Yeah, got it. Spoiler alert. Also, this whole thing about they need to go and spread the laws of the sun throughout the world. I wrote in my note, quick question, what are the laws of the sun? Like name one law. What are the what are we talking about? What is the law? Learn something every second. It may be, I don't know, they're, they never really nail those. The song was called the laws of the sun in which Buddha repeatedly comes to earth

in several different forms to teach people the laws of the sun. And I realize at this point in the film, I haven't picked a basic law of the sun. But he don't act now because he's not just going to incarnate in his most perfect form. He will also purify the entire world, illuminate hell and free everyone there, which credit were credits do way more moral than Christianity. And thus will begin the age of the sun. And I just want to say it takes a certain amount of cajonice to make a one hour and 44 minute animated film about how you are the super duper spiritual perfection of Buddha, Elkantare, and thought. Then we cut forward to Buddha's deaths, which is sad. Although I will point out there are elephants that have come to watch Buddha die, and I really wanted him to be like, could someone move the elephants to the front? I would

love to thank them for coming. It's just not a bit of an easy commute for two elephants to make it to my death. Oh, and this is where he sort of floats goldily out of his sleeping body. It'd be fair, not a bad exit, you don't know right there. When he meets all of his priors selves, so you see him as thoth and you see him as the crowd feller, you see him as the Greek one who looks like he's been hit in the face by something heavy,

that was not one of his good looks. He didn't last long. But all these different hymns kind of vault on into him in this kind of weird golden person shape that looks like it's made out of melted butter. And then that turns into a circle that gets covered in electrical circuits. Then that evaporates and then it explodes into golden bubbles that reveals a red burning sun at the center.

And then we cut to what is basically a like a Windows Vista screen server. I think that's what I told. It's not just that. It's a Windows Vista screen saver, which then zooms out to be the title, the loss of the song. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Hey, it's next on a plank and suck this movie's dick. Buddha turns into the name of this movie. But again, they never tell us what those laws are at any moment. They're not going to close with that. No, they do not. And this isn't quite the end.

You know, we get to see those, you know, those five people around the pentagonal table, we see them for about three tenths of a second. And then we leave. No idea who they are. We just could be by them and we, we, we fuck off again. All right. What if we do an irregular Pentagon? Maybe we could push them together like flat. No, no, it just looks stupid. All right. So we get a quick summary of the crazy in our final scene here. It's basically just going through everything that happened in the movie.

Oh, oh, and this is where we see the sparkles of Buddha's influence and El Cantare's influence start to spread from Atlantis out and from, it goes Atlantis into North America and Middle Eastern Europe. And you can see it goes into Europe and then it gets to England and the kind of enlightenment doesn't make it to Scotland. And it still hasn't suck a glass. Go it still hasn't more shots fired. Fuck Scotland, fuck Australia. That's because Alcantara hasn't been born as Brian Ego yet.

So there you go. So yeah, we go through the whole movie. And then I got to say this is pretty amazing. We get a live shot of the guy who is the head of this cult. Reuno Okawa claims to be ultimate Buddha, who has been depicted in his various incarnations as rippling pecs and chiseled draw. And he looks, he looks like a penis accountant.

I love him. If, if low sperm count could have an accountant, I put a picture of him in the notes, just so he could see. But really, go ahead and Google the head of the happy science called and keep in mind that this guy made an hour and 44 minute animated movie about he is the incarnation of the ultimate Buddha. Bear in mind, this is what the chap looks like. Now imagine watching a three hour film of him

doing an impersonation of Princess Diana as he channels her spirit and tells you in great detail about her thoughts about the British aristocracy and British society, but somehow keeps forgetting the name of her own children. That keeps slipping out of her, sorry, her brain throughout the conversation. You've got to get this guy on, be reasonable. Oh, God, I wish. I did invite happy science as it called on and they politely turn me down on It's a shame because they were really really friendly, but so weird so weird. It's the happy. That's the happy it's at the start right there

They come on you just start reading them facts once a second listen guys And that he then right is the movie the laws of the sun And that he thin right is the movie, the laws of the sun. Okay, that's the noise of my thoughts right now. I have no idea what just happened. I don't think Eli and Mars do either. Do you guys have any, you don't? But let's try to sum it all up with a little brevity. If this movie was a, you know, like a TLDR high coup,

how would it go? So I've got two that I think are summing up for me. If you are evil, your world will sink beneath waves. So like, don't do that. Ha ha ha. May or may not happen in three phases. I'm not sure. And I also had Golden Alien Guy comes, leaves, returns, leaves, et cetera.

That put on a loop. Fantastic. Well done. Well done. All right. You could have saved us a lot of time with that. I could be getting more. Thank you, though.

All right. Well, that does it for the laws of the sun. That's not going to do it for the episode just yet, because they do not stop making terrible movies. We're going to be back next week. So tell us, Eli, what's on deck? Like Zarthustra before her, Cara Sainamaria, spoke it into existence.

We'll be doing Heaven's Gate and Hell's Flames. She's spake it. All right. Well, with that to look forward to, we're going to wrap it up. As always, big thanks to Marsh for joining us. Just in case anyone's new, and they want to hear some more Marsh, where should they go? So you can check out my day job where I'm a full-time skeptical activist at the Good Thinking Society, so like Google that, and you'll come across the various places that we are on there. And I just recently worked the BBC on a major documentary

on alternative cancer cures, which is kind of, I think one of the most important stories I've ever told and hopefully we'll have a kind of the most one of the ones that have the most effect in terms of protecting people. And that went out on episode 281 of Skeptics of the K, where I tell a story of a particular cancer patient that I've been trying to tell for five years now, and we've finally got the story out there. So I'm really, really proud of the work you've done to get that out there. And if people look to that episode in particular,

281 of Skept me through the K, you can hear some of the work we do. Fantastic. You can almost learn a new fact every second by listening to Marsha as other serious shows where he does real things that are awesome for the world. All right. Once again, a huge thanks to all the patrons. Well, make this show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com

slash God awful. And thereby earn early access to an ad-free version of every episode. You can also help us out a ton by leaving us a five-star review on iTunes and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the skating atheist, cetacean needed, and the skeptic rat available on iTunes, Stitcher, and wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email God off of movies at gmail.com, legal services for the spotcaster provided by the law, offices, Pianjitoris.

Our theme song is written and performed by Ryan Slotnik, field drafts on Mars, all other music was written and performed by our audio engineer, Morgan Clark, and was used with permission. Thanks again for getting this chunk your life this week. For Eli Bosnick and Michael Marshall, he's Thene Wright, promising to work hard to earn another chunk next week. Until then, we'll leave you with the Antelhouse Clothes. The happy science cult may very well have sent themselves

rice in an attempt to get publicity and accidentally killed several dozen of their members. Really, really, what happened. accidentally killed several dozen of their members really really happened Heath went on to send Cincinnati Bell a lovely edible ring Marsh still has no fucking clue what any of the laws of the Sun I'm going down to interstitials. Yeah. Time out. I'm scrolling badly. Time out.

Oh, time in. I won still. I don't know why I stopped when you said time out. Did you stop it? Yeah. You're an honest man. That's integrity right there. So I kept getting distracted by all of the things that you were saying. Because I know you don't know what they mean and I do. And fuck me, this was as ridiculous as that. I just read everything phonetically just now.

Ha-ha-ha. Like Zara Thustra before her, Kerasa and Maria spoke it into existence. We'll be doing Heaven's Gate and Hell's Flames. She's spake it. All right. That pronunciation of Sarah Thustra and you went after spake. I was gonna, that's, it's too much. We can't, we can't. None of this is usable. He's just gonna be like, hey, well, he'll tell you, heaven's

gait and hell's flames. Oh, by pooped again. Mangoes. Poop, mangoes, mangoes, poop. Well, now you've given him that. Yeah, I gave him a better audio. He's kidding. You guys can pretend I'm dead for like a month. Who's that? C Copyright 2021, all right reserved.