God Awful Movies - 289: Hunter's Creed

Episode Date: March 2, 2021

This week, Michael Marshall joins us for an atheist review of Hunter's Creed, the story of us trying to figure out what Dog the Bounty Hunter is even going for. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Check out more from Marsh on Be Reasonable and Skeptics with a K

Her mom goes to church with Dog the Bounty Hunter, so now they're gonna surprise her husband who wants to do a hunting TV show with a surprise visit from Dog the Bounty Hunter. How do you go to church with Dog the Bounty Hunter? Even like, all right, today will be... Oh, I'm sorry, everybody. I hate to interrupt my sermon. Uh, is Hulk Hogan dressed as John Bane Ramsey in the third world? Do you all see that?

You all see the horror that is that person? There in the third world? God awful. Movie. Movie. Movie. Who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be And he then read heath, welcome back. Thanks Noah. You know who pop scare. Yeah. I have a pop scare work. Yep. Sure.

Well, as long as you do that, I'm a seven array. And okay, there you go. There you go. Yeah, you got it. And sitting nine hundred miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? I'm fantastic. Noah, I watched a movie full of Heathath pop scares and specifically heath pop scares.

So yeah, it was, it was a good time. Yeah, one of the guys looks way too much like me. It's not. Yeah. And he's the pop scare guy. If you can believe that also the bully and the worst character in the history of cinema. Okay. We'll get to him though.

But he's funny. He's a wild card. And before we get to him, we're also joined by our special guest massacres. Michael Marshall was the project director of the Good Thinking Society. The host to be reasonable. The co-host de skeptics with a K the editor of the skeptic. And at this point, his resume might as well also include regular game guest. Harsh, welcome back, sir. Hey, good to be here. Always a pleasure to be on. And I'm glad you, you put me, this is the

most boring experience, not the show, the film that we're talking about. It was one of the most boring experiences of my life. So I'm glad to be able to share it with you. Yeah, I'm glad that we were able to share it with you. So not you, not the pug. I like this. This is fun to talk about. The most boring experience I've ever had. I will say a lot of my notes are, how do we explain this phenomenon to Michael Mark? Yeah, right. All right, so tell us what will we be breaking down today? We watched Hunter's Creed. It's, it's the story of not understanding Blair Witch.

They created footage in the woods. They realized it's terrible. And then I think they pretended to lose it so that they could then find it. And then now it's a good movie because it's found footage. Yeah. And God or something. Something. And Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you loved Blair Witch, but those teens wandering around the woods, touching stuff and pissing off a supernatural entity for no reason were too dang likable. You will love this movie.

It's the son of a bitch project. There you go. It's the prayer witch project. Way better. Thank you, sir. Oh, damn. If that's only not the title because they didn't think of it, okay? Exactly.

100%. No, I should, I should also didn't think of it. Okay. Exactly. 100%. Yeah. 100%. No, I should also emphasize just kind of a trigger warning. I mean, just triggers this time. This movie's about hunting. So to any listener who happens to enjoy hunting, I want to warn you in advance that you know what you're used to it. So never mind. I'm going to talk about how fucked up your animal murder hobby is a lot and you're used

to it. Okay. So is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best of being the worst at? Yeah, I'm gonna say best worst understanding of what B-roll means. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, So one of these hunter guys clearly like read about Beer all the day before they made their stupid fucking YouTube movie and they're convinced they have to use it so like a bunch of different times maybe a dozen times this movie we just get little bit of a googling around on this to really understand what the hell I was actually watching here, what it was meant to be. And I came across, you know, Dove, do a review of Christian movies. Of course. I'm sure you guys have covered it plenty of times. Oh, yeah.

The Dove review for this film's amazing and includes the line, although the movie is not entertaining in the conventional way, it does feature scenes which will prompt the viewer to think. And that's a positive thing. That's amazing. Oh, their mom is so proud of them for coming up with that. We're not talented. Ha ha, but we're, you know, we made a movie technically. They movie had a lot of minutes in it. How did they learn all those lines?

It's incredible. Such a great review. So I'm going to go back to the Heath character and I'm going to say best worst evangelism. Right. So there's this one character that's trying like one of the characters isn't Jesus yet enough. And another character is trying to Jesus him up. And this dude might as well like hold his face in a urinal until he promises to love

Jesus again. This guy is such a bastard Yes, we'll get there the extent to which that's almost accurate is absurd. He might he might go beyond that Yeah, honestly. Yeah, right. Like ethically actually he goes way beyond that. We've literally no way of knowing whether he went beyond it or not The twist of the movie might be that he resorts to chemical warfare. And see, I was going to go, I'm going to take the low hanging fruit, best worst mega star imputes. So as we hinted when we teased this movie last week, Hunters Creed managed to beg none other than dog the bounty hunter for this movie for the

first and last scenes of this movie and Know the fuck thing What like is one of the mildly friends with a friend of the dog and he was just like yeah, all right I'll do like four minutes. You can put book in the movie with me at the front of the back. How much money do you not have when you can't afford all the way dog the bounty? Right. Well, so I guarantee you what happened is this whole movie was made, right? They made their little Blair wish found footage thing and then somehow dog the bounty hunter

found out about it and agreed to like Throw some money in it or whatever, but he had to be in it, right? So they did this Sloppy ass effort to sneak him into the beginning and the end of the film, right? Yeah, so they had dog money Like this was made with extra budget from dog you think and no, no, no I think that the movie was already made. I think it was distributed with extra money from dog you think? No, no, no, I think that the movie was already made. I think it was distributed with extra money from dog. Oh, so like they were like, Hey, our Blair Witch movie fucking sucks. Did anyone, and I do mean anyone on earth have any interest in it? And they were like, well, dog the bounty hunter fell asleep in that backer screaming. So he's technically still in the room.

Let's wait him up and film them for four minutes since he's probably as you see. It's such a weird thing to have him inserted into it as well, to insert himself into it, because he plays himself as well. And the only thing he has to do with any acting, he's very clearly reading the lines from just off the side of the camera the entire time. It's it's such a strange cameo and you know that there was an early and quickly aborted attempt to make him a character in the movie, right? There was an afternoon of shooting where he was like, hi, I'm bogged the downy, hunter. No, I messed it again. I messed it again. It's not a wig. Stop tugging on it. All right, well, I'll tell you what, this movie is in no hurry at all to get started. So I think we're okay, taking a quick break, but we're back in a minute with all the exciting

waiting around it is Hunter's Creed. Hey podcast listener. If you've been listening to this show for a while, you know that unlike this week's movie, I'm a big fan of getting the mental health care you need, which is why I'm so happy to tell you about this week's sponsor, Better Help. Maybe I haven't started therapy because finding a therapist can be really tricky and expensive. Well, Better Help assesses your needs and matches you with your own licensed professional therapist and you can start communicating in under 48 hours. It's not a crisis line, it's not self-help. It's professional counseling done securely

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BetterHelp wants you to start living a happier life today. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and God Awful Movies listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash awful. That's betterhelp.com slash awful. Get the help you need today. Get you. Get you listening. Yeah, I'm talking to you. Do it. Hi, I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm no illusions. I'm Heathen, right? And I'm Michael Marshall. You know, as dedicated skeptics, it's important that we face the truth wherever we find it.

So when we found out this week that our very own Michael Marshall stole his vaccine from an old lady, we had to face the truth head on. What, what, no, that's not what happened. That's not true. Yes, it is. That's why we created, Mars Stole is vaccine from an old lady.com because you deserve the truth. Not another website. That's right. Mars Stoels vaccine from an old lady.com. We not only have the truth about Mars Stealing is vaccine from an old lady there.

We also have a picture of a cat. And you're not allowed to lie on a website with a picture of a cat on it, that's illegal. Exactly. Oh, great. It's optimized for mobile, great. Yes, it is. So if you deserve the truth, go to Mars Stoll, his vaccine from an old lady.com and join the fight today because nobody should steal their vaccine from an old lady. But especially not Mars, because he created COVID in the first place. Yes, he did.

Yes, he did. This looks like it was really expensive. Was? Dude, did you use the company card for this? No? Okay. Too slow. Pfft.

And we're back for the breakdown. And we're gonna open up with a company logo that looks like a red necks-in memorium tattoo for evil, conevils. You know, this one's gonna be fine. Right. Oh, God. It's so cheap looking. It's, I'm sure that's like a part. It looks way more like a podcast logo. It's got a kind of a microphone in the middle and it looks like the podcast logo,

like Joe Rogan would have rejected as being a bit too on the nose. It looked like me. So peachy. Yeah. Yeah. So, so we open on dog, the fucking bounty hunter. And I just all my notes at this point is like, I am not compensated sufficiently to look at this ridiculous human. I refuse to do it. Luckily, he won't be in it for a long.

No, he looks. He looks like the laziest drag of Farrah Fawcett. Any woman ever. Yeah. Yeah, he looks like Mickey Rulk from the wrestler, but somehow Mawsel. Yeah. Right.

And he's being interviewed by a news person or something like that. And I love the question from a news person. They just say, so why? I was like, yeah, Doug gets that a lot. And the question is open-ended. Why constantly? Just like, well, then I mean, you just look at him,

just kind of wave your hand a little bit and go, why? That's a perfectly reasonable question. He's wearing wrap-around sunglasses on his forehead at night. And they keep falling down as he's talking. Yeah. And he's got them every single time we see him, I think, as well.

Yep. So the few other times that we see him, he's wearing them. And it got to point where I start to think that his eyes were actually up there, like those muscles on my wings. It was just, yeah, you look down, but those aren't the real ones. He's going to come and flush. Yeah, those installed so his face looked more normal. Boy, that would explain a lot about his hairline too.

Yeah, all right. Good for hostage situations. They blindfold you, but they don't realize now you're after mine. Yeah. The most useless cyberpunk change of all time. I evolved these. I'm gills too.

All right. So then we cut, oh, we have the ridiculous, is it a horror movie no Psych moment right to open it up They're stupid so they know how to do it Because what you're supposed to do in that moment is like oh Stop and then it turns and they're like playing in a pool, but it's just like Would absolutely not do during playful flirting with your husband.

Right. Yeah. And she screams and the scream is a lady genuinely scared. And then she starts giggling, but the giggle seems to me like a lady who is still scared, but a way she can't run away from this guy. So now she has to panda her way out of this. Oh, my friends coming just any second now, that's what it sounds like to me. Well, so they're walking across this, they're like in a swamp or something.

They're walking across this, this wooden walkway that sits over top of the water. And it's such a crazy, wild, jarring difference that at first, I assumed whoever was screaming just sunk below the water before we panned. No, for another couple. Ha, ha, we got her, you know, giggle, giggle or something. But no, they're just trying to do the whole, it's a horror, but not, but not yet. Pop scare. Okay.

And I didn't realize at the time that this was going to be a bound footage movie. So I thought that was just how we were opening that they just happened to be videotaping this lovely moment together. I guess this is supposed to be their wedding day. Yeah, yeah. This is that wedding day that they're self-filming. Is that a thing you all come up with? With your own video camera on me. He's got a GoPro attached to his chest like the Hunter out there. Like a run-stuxed of ass.

Yeah. All right. So, yeah, so they're looking around and one of course this main character, this is Dave. He goes, wow, nature is so beautiful that atheism is definitely wrong. He steps in a bunch of bearish it. He's like, you know what? Never mind. There is no God. And he talks about how beautiful the day is. And then he wants to kill it. And his wife saying, you see something that beautiful. And the first thing you think about is hunting and killing it. And this is right after we've seen her screaming in terror. And I'm certain it's not just the day who is the beauty thing about to be killed by me.

I'm 100% certain. Also, he calls his wife Mrs. Dave Johnson or whatever his name is. Yeah. That's all. If you call your wife misses your name, you should get killed by a deer somehow. Every question does. Oh, there are so many things that every character

in this movie should get killed by. All right, so still with the Found Flush bullshit, we cut to Christmas the moment where he gave her that ugliest fucking cross necklace. This absolutely needs to be on the Christian movie, Bingo Card, ugly crucifix jewelry. Yeah, it's like, I wanted to thank this movie for easing my feelings of inadequacy

and selecting jewelry for Lucinda. I always feel like I'm doing it wrong, but I'm like, it could be wronger at least. Oh, no, I just, I noticed this in your notes, see, this is where you have this realization so much quicker than I did that this was all gonna be fun. Oh, I was serious. I was like, okay, it's noticed this in your notes. He this is where you have this realization so much quicker than I did that this was all gonna be I was furious. I was like, okay, it's two scenes in a row. The whole movie's gonna be blare-witch. I'm so fucking angry Yeah, yeah, I was exactly the same. I was I was living by this point already

And I was certain he was the killer. I was certain he was gonna be a killer He creeps up on them in this scene. It's really weirdy handed hands of the box And I thought that's gonna have like a deer's ear in it or something each of the macabre turns out it was across. So yes, including macabre was a torch advice, but this is just that I was certain this was the footage they found after he killed her that I was like, oh, you know, he seemed like such a nice guy. The neighbors say he kept himself to himself, but then we found this. Right. You get me. Dog. The the bounty hunters head in a box.

I love it. So and then we cut to fucking them doing a carol bask in hay you cool cats and kittens. Stick but for their hunter show. Yeah, they do. And so I guess her mom the plot here is because we're going to force dog the bounty hunter back into this, her mom goes to church with dog the bounty hunter.

So now they're going to surprise her husband who wants to do a hunting TV show, a hunting reality show with a surprise visit from dog the bounty hunter, the reality show celebrity. How, how do you go to church with dog, the bounty hunter? How do you be like, all right, today will be dark. I'm sorry, everybody. I hate to interrupt my sermon. Is Hulk Hogan dressed as John Bane Ramsey in the third room? You'll see the horror that is that person there in the third room. Do you guys see his eyes eyes they're all the way at the top of the Glasses in here is very obvious that there's not a god if he still exists So they have him jump out and scare him right where he's like, oh, what's your name?

No, he's like a be hug. Someone yells, what's frame a TV show? Oh my God. I wanted so bad for this guy to just kill dog with crab magas. Oh, sorry. See, I did this is why you don't do blindfold things. I told you, you know, it goes, but I kill somebody every time. But he reacts with weight. I cannot believe that this is acting. I think they surprised this actor with dog, the bounty hunter. And to be fair, it is a very realistic performance of being grabbed by surprise by dog, the bounty hunter, which is that you urinate curl into a fetal position and die.

Yeah. And looks straight to the camera and yell, why is he here? Yeah, 100% is after did not, not dog the bounty under was going to be there. So, yeah, so then they go to make some heath coffee and chat about the complexities of reality TV. Oh, okay. They do not make heath coffee. They, okay.

So, first thing I saw was, yeah, all right, they got a Chemex. Nice. I like Chem coffee. Okay. So first thing I saw was, yeah, all right, they got a chemx. Nice. I like a chemx. Cool. Yeah. But then we watch them try to make coffee and it's, there's an inch of mud already at the bottom of the thing. And then they make no coffee and just pour the old mud in. He's just holding the filter and squeezing out. It's so stupid. He squeezes the coffee out of the chemical. They're like, he's choosing an orange. Yeah. And he's all the bounty hunters cup. And then very clearly looks at dog bounty hunter like, please don't drink that. This is my wife's fancy coffee pot that I don't know how to use. But what is this? What I was so confused about. Why are we watching dog the bounty

hunter talk in detail about the laborious process of pitching a TV show? I was so confused, but why are we watching Dog the Bounty Hunter talk in detail about the laborious process of pitching a TV show? I was wondering whether it's going to turn into an instructional video of this video to show people who are trying to pitch a pilot. Right. Well, yeah, because this is obviously added last minute because they got the chance to throw in this cameo and they're like, oh yeah, reality show this fits perfectly, right? But I love that between everybody and volin this, they can't come up with what, like,

the concept of their show would be other than we kill shit, right? And they've got to have that for this line. So it dogs about 100 cents down. He says, I got to tell you, I love the idea you have about your show about, you know, it being good. And God, as you mentioned, God and family, those are family and number one hunting show ever made. That's a really good business model. Yeah, exactly. He's one of those Christian guys and we all know this person who says I love you a lot and they don't mean like I love you.

It's just like a church phrase, like you wrap things up. Yeah, except he does it starkly at the end of the conversation. And it just ends on a terrible silence. He's like, yeah, no, this is going to be a great show. I love you. And then there's a pause while the guy is fucking squeegeeing out the chemx filter. And he's just like, oh, I love spending time with you too. Dog with any hunter. How do they think coffee is made, I wonder? Like, how many tips did it take? Like, how many ridiculous things did they do to coffee beans? Or they got whatever they landed on as, oh, yeah, I think this is how it works.

Well, it's either or they've had to do so many tips because dog about your hunter keeps fucking up that they've ran all the coffee. And they they will I can sort of use what's left at the bottom if you don't look at it too carefully. Let's just get this through man. That may very well be it. So and then we see the inherent problem we're trying to do a found footage fucking movie which is inevitably you come up with scenes that there's no goddamn reason why you would have footage of it.

So now we cut to the husband, Dave, doing like some surprise, hey, I'm videotaping you at the gynecologist, you know, it was, it made me laugh so much because they went straight from we're making a hunting show pilot hard cut her in a doctor's office. Yeah. I went badly then. I want to be like, just pan over to see how it's been shot at all in his foot. Also, he's clearly not filming at the gynecologist because it's, there's clearly somebody holding a camera right next to them badly on purpose to look like Blair Witch.

We actually at one point see all four of their hands in the shot that they're supposed to be selfie shooting. So stupid. They did such a half ass job and everyone does, right? Even like the high budget found footage movies always fuck this up, but they fucking up so bad. Oh, yeah. But this is where they're going to learn that she has the cancer.

I shouldn't have found this as amusing as I did, but again, he's been all cute and like kissing her belly. And then the doctor walks in with I have some difficult news. And I laughed out loud. I'm a bad person, but the juxtaposition just crease me up. Well, and it's because they set this up as like a, oh, we can't wait to find out about the baby. What she got, she tested positive in a pregnancy test and they came in and they were like, nah, apparently if you just have a tumor big enough, that thing comes out of the little little. So baby, too, we're actually, yeah, no, she goes, I have some difficult news. I'm like,

is it that we're only seven and a half minutes into this fucking thing? And then the movie blacks out for like 15 seconds, like they forgot to keep going. And then the movie blacks out for like 15 seconds, like they forgot to keep going. And then they're like, oh, sorry, movie. And then they come back in. Nothing happens. Yeah. So we eventually come back to her all cancered up. Now she's fully cancered.

And she's trying to make the most out of her cancer. So she's going to ambush Dave as he walks in with this squirt gun she has. And Noah, I hate to push back in your description because that was a good scene introduction, but she's not fully cancered yet. She's hat and gloves cancer. She'll be scarf head cancer. Oh, you're right. Yeah.

You know, that face where you still have your hair, but you always have to wear a hat and gloves. Yeah. But they give us the transition between those two faces of cancer in this scene to be fair. You know, continuity wise. She's doing the prayer. And she's like, I want, I like to thank God for all the amazing cancer cough cancer. I've cancer. Sorry. Sorry. I've cancer. Thank you God for all the amazing, uh, non-cancer stuff in my life. I don't know.

Well, what's great is she does the, the epinean cough, right? She's like, and he's like, nurse, nurse. And I really wanted the nurse to run it for him to be like, she coughed. And then there's like, no, man, she's got fucking cancer. She's going to do that. She's gonna do that. But it is nice to actually see a live cancer moment, because normally in Christian films, the cancer mom happened before.

Right. It's nice to see this process really playing out. Yeah, exactly. And then do something to get to that hour and 23 minute runtime. Yeah. And that was with 10 minutes of dog to bounty on Jocodin.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. Speaking of which. So now we get that video. Okay, this is so amazing. So Dog is trying to do this heartfelt video that he's sending to the young couple that he met, you know, of sympathizing with her cancer diagnosis. But he's such a bad actor. He has to constantly stop to check his lines, just a camera like to the whole fucking scene. Yeah, I don't think you're supposed to send like, selfie-style videos to be like,

sorry your wife died. Anyway, hit that like and subscribe to my camera. They blend genres so insanely here because dog the bounty hunter's wife really did die of cancer, which means one of two things has to have happened in this universe. One, they were like, dog, maybe you could talk about when your wife died of cancer and we'll put it in our fiction pretend movie or dog again fell asleep during the screening woke up here and was like, you know, if you want, I'll make a genuine heartfelt video where I cry and talk about the death of my wife and you can put it in your horror movie.

Yeah, it's like that famous selfie that a monkey took. You know, there's no real thought going on behind it. It just picked up the tool, pressed the button and that's what comes out. There's no code to thought there. No sentience. Also, what is the concept here? Because the concept is this is found footage presumably on the same camcorder the same you know the same video camera

and that's the case did cancer mom send dog the camera to take this on and then he sends it back FedEx as it back to the hospital so she can carry on. She had a spy following around dog. Yeah, right. Right. Well, again, that's the problem with found footage, right? Because like, yeah, in reality, you would send him a fucking tax or you'd call them other fun. But yeah, they got a visit hospital. If you that, visit the hospital, it's fine.

You allowed in. Well, not right now. But don't get the quick stop. Use the clerks cam. There's so many ways around this. And he has to end on his catch phrase, but sad. So he's like, sorry to hear about your cancer brother. Aloha.

Yes. Aloha. So fucking nice. But sad, Aloha. And it's the spittle as well, with mouth. I mean, he's trying to do the emotion thing and the emotion for him is spittle, but it's so, because we're really close to his face.

And his face isn't something you want to get close to generally anyway. And then the spitting doesn't really help. Well, yeah, there's a lot of like mucus, space type shit that's going to go on, speaking of which in this next scene, so we go now to the wipe and she's all the way cancered. Now, you know, she was only halfway cancered before, but now she's all the way scar from the head cancered. She's, you know, BP heart monitor cancer. And look, I don't, I don't mean to make light

of cancer jokes, but at this point, that's my job, right? Because, because it's being used in the silliest possible way. Yeah, yeah. When you made me watch this film, I didn't expect it to be a live version, a live reenactment of the opening montage from up. That's basically what we've got here.

And then I realized, wait, up also involves a talking dog. It all makes sense. Pixar, if you need a lawyer, yeah, no, I was going to say they only cut out the part where he was getting distracted by the squirrels because it would have been a copy right in Frenchman or something. That's what was just off screen. It wasn't his lines. It was a squirrel. Well, yes, so he's, but of course, she's given her little, I'm dying monologue, but it's okay because I love God. So she has some, like, you know, how awesome has got. I want to point out,

this is the ninth scene of the movie. Every single one of them has had some reference to church or a crucifix or God. They do not want you to forget that this is a Christian movie for one fucking second. Okay. Right. But then we do watch the end of her video, which is just 10 seconds of her wheezing and a light bulb shorting out next to her. Yeah. Just cut that part out.

You're making your death video. Do a little bit of editing as well. That's the her. Yeah. Just cut that part out. You're making your death video. Do a little bit of editing as well, and say that's for the lazy death video. Just cut that last part. And a death video, it's kind of half-ass when you're this Jesus-y, right? She's like, I'll miss you. But I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'll see you again. And I'll see you again for eternity. So this is literally like a mic. It's an infinitesimal amount of time. I won't see you. And then we'll be in heaven forever with Jesus. Just, you know, why would I even be sad? It doesn't make sense for me to have all this.

Don't let the grief turn you into an atheist because that'll go really badly. And you'll have to go like having experience with your friends to sort yourself out. Yeah, no, I'll be, and I'll make a terrible movie. Yeah. So, okay. So now we cut to, I guess we're going

a couple of years in advance. She's dead and Dave has lost his faith in God. But he hasn't lost his faith in his hunting show. It's just been on hiatus for two years. So now we cut to him and his buddies about to go out on the big hunting trip to film the pilot for big hunting trip to film the pilot for this hunting show, right?

Yeah, and nothing about this shot suggests that he hasn't been radicalized into a white nationalist militia. Literally nothing about this shot suggests that I thought, hang on, is that what he meant by hunting this entire time? Is he, are we going to take a really fucking dark turn? And to be clear, we need to talk about what everyone in this movie looks like. If Heath is the standard character, you get in the video game that is this movie, everyone in this movie is a variation on Heath.

It's like Heath without the beard. Heath with the beard. Beer. Yeah, yeah. It's like one of them already chose Heath and then they went to choose Heath again and got the variant Heath so that they could tell her a part of the play. Well, and one of them did Heath with hair and the went to choose Heath again and got the variant heath so that they could tell her. Well, and one of them did heath with hair and the other guy was like, I was going to do a heath with her and he's like, I'll do your, you have to do a thinner beard then.

Right. You, you, you pick Heath and hold down the Y button and you'll get a different color belt and yeah, right? Because, okay, because that's clearly, there's a mirror match going on in this mother because two of these motherfuckers This is gonna bother me the entire goddamn movie look exactly the same. Oh, yeah, I did yeah, that's not helpful I told and one of them is the main fucking character But yeah, and another one of course we get the supreme I just have this character down as surprise Nazi his characters name is shot

I just have this character down as surprise Nazi. His character's name is Sean, right? But he's constantly just popping out of somewhere going, surprise skinhead. What? And here's what's beautiful about this. Spoiler alerts for the movie, but like, yes, early pop scare. Oh, it's just my friend is a horror movie trope, but that's because later there's a pop scare with the scary thing

from the movie. Right. This movie will never do that. No, it'll always just be that guy again. Just that guy being breaking news ground. They're artists. Yeah, and honestly, I felt such a palpable sense of dread watching this part of the film that it felt like it was going to take a right turn into terrorism at any point. And I thought, yes, please let that happen. They turn it

to terrorists. And then boom, dog the bounty hunter has to track them down there as a film. I watched that. I'd pay good money to watch that. And this is also where we meet my favorite character in the movie, which is wacky comedy Russell. Yep. Very clearly this hunting party slash church groups, funniest friend who is instructed to improvise literally everything he said in the movie.

Yep, but wackily, yes, exactly. Write down to them singing the exposition song. So we're filming a hunting show. Yeehaw, we're singing an exposition song. Woohoo, my butt is wacky'm pleased that you died up cancer. It's just an over. Yeah, so they're on this road trip to go to their deer hunting thing. And at one point, all I can imagine was if Eli had to be on this road trip.

Oh, because they're just like, all right, what's the record for catching catfish? And then Eli in the back being like I will murder suicide everyone in this god damn Everything you talk about every fucking sentence ends in a yeehaw or a getter done and so bad Look at it. There is a Patreon amount you can hit podcast listener that I will go on a hunting trip with these people listener that I will go on a hunting trip with these people. No, Eli, no. They wouldn't, the key man is sure it's wouldn't pay out if you made it that easy on them. Would I come back from the trip? No, that's not the point.

You hit the picture on goal. We'll get you that foul footage. So you know, say no listeners win, win. Yes. Also, by the way, we learned that the title of their YouTube hunting show is Buck Fever Attics here, which could not sound more like a gay porn series. Like those DVDs. Oh, well, I'm quite certain that they were excited about this genius spoonerism they made.

It's actually like fuck, beaver addicts, but fuck fever addicts. Oh, yeah. It's a, it's a punerism actually. I'm gonna go out on the limb here and say, you are way more clever than everyone who made this movie. They did not do that in my accident. I think they made the movie around that. I think, so you know how like I do word play

and I'm not like, hey, we should make a fucking movie based on this stupid little joke I made just now. They do not know how that's a good principle, just good, don't, don't do that. So yeah, so we should point out, so we're getting like an 11 minute series of shots of them taking a road trip. And it's just all the boring shit that you wish you could fast forward through in a real road trip. But we learn along the way

that they're going out to a place they've never been before to hunt for their show. And that place used to be owned by a cult of Satanists. I mean, I'm trying to talk about Satan cult stuff, but they're church crazy hunters. So they're like, oh, yeah, they were doing blood sacrifices. Anyways, about our hunting show. We're going to hang some dead shit upside down and tear up its skin. But in a way that Jesus would love to have right. Yeah, right. You're hobby. I was very confused throughout much of this road trip monologue as well, because they kept talking about hunting white tail. And I thought that was a fish.

It was like a white tail fish. That's about three inches long. And I didn't realize they were talking about deer. So I had, they're gone all this way to hunt fish. And they're talking about who's going to be the most white tail. There are three inches long. Oh, that would have been amazing if the whole thing was them shooting arrows at three inches long. And when they added the demon backstory to say to it, I think they'll be say to his That would have been amazing if the whole thing was them shooting arrows at three.

When they added the demon backstory to say to other, I think me satan is to fish. I think I satan is tiny little fish. Oh, God, we can't help but make better movies as we do. These God damn it. Jump set of the water pours a little bit of milk on him. Oh, God, he got me. All right. So so they're driving up to this property when suddenly they come across the fact that Blair Witch Project can't exactly copyright bundle a sticks.

Now, can't. Well, good. Okay. Is that like a demon hinge of sticks? What's going on? Probably nothing. Anyway, I'm, uh, nothing again. We're going to spread out beyond shouting distance between the first two men.

Okay. But like, I watched this hand, and I was like, you know what, credit to Blair Witch, there is a wrong way to do this. Cause like, clearly, arts and crafts gone wrong. One of them is kind of Blair Witch, but a bunch of them are just like bundled together for firewood. Oh, yeah. So, yeah. So they co-bag that.

They're like, oh, let's remove all of the Satan stuff. So we can get through to our spooky cabin. So and then we get Russell, our comic relief character that looks exactly like Dave, our main character doing his comical, like showing us around the cabin bit. Oh, God, he's the one. He's the one. And this is this here's Bucky the book. This is Fishing the Fish. This is TV the TV. Please cut her out, kill myself.

Classic. And it's so great because even the other actors in this scene want nothing to do with it. At one point, I said, so what's this? And the guy says, it's a television. And it's said with all the I am sick of your shit. Don't but it absolutely deserves Don't put me on the spot television the Television Fuck So and of course they get out of this scene by having skin head pop scare his way into the fucking window Again, yeah, they have this weird fucking bit where he has to like they're like oh can you start a fire

But it's a gas fireplace. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so he just Turns up the thing and there's a fire that was so sad It was supposed to be this like communing with nature of moment No, like the god of fire they literally say that the god of fire will now start fire and he's just like And they turn all the lights off to make it really dramatic as well while he just slowly adjusts the dial. Yeah, exactly. But of course he says, you know, and behold, some kind of God reference. So now we are a, I will have in scenes in a row, there has been a God reference of some fucking sort. So now one of them goes outside, I never figured out out which one of this is to take some video of the cabin for the show right to get some b-roll

Smeb-roll And all they do here is getting an establishing shot of the house that we already saw that they're in Mm-hmm, and they do multiple takes of getting that he like moves the camera down to the house And he's like, no, not cut cut. Let me do that again. Let me move a little bit downer I feel like I was I was down into the left. I think I needed more, a little more straight downy. People aren't gonna know where they are. It would only been better if he was like humming a sign felt slap base

at the same time as well. I just shook Tom's restaurant for no reason. Yeah. And then so he like looks over because he hears this sound or something. First of all, none of these people have apparently ever been in the woods at night in their goddamn lives. You always hear a fucking sound. There's the woods.

You know, it's non-stop sounds and hot way more scary sounds than that ever make him into this movie. It's only just like a deer raping a goat through a fire. But they're a branch cracks and he's like, that's never fuckin' happened in these days. Yeah, exactly. I need to have a counter out of here. Is there a matter in air around here?

What's happening? What's happening? Yeah, man, like everywhere. But so he looks over there and when he looks back, there's someone standing right in front of him all creepily. Now, they're expecting a fourth guy. Yes. They said in the fucking trip that the other guy couldn't get off of work as early as them.

So he knows another guy's coming, but they play this like a horror movie. He's like, Hey, man, who are you? Cause you can only see his silhouette. Like, I don't know, but I'm approximately the size and weight of the guy you're expecting. And then he cracks a road flare and starts to like come towards him and he's like, ah, I'm just kidding. It's just me. And at no point does this movie go, hey, it's you.

Get out and crack a road flare just to scarily say hi to me. You know that we're all armed, right? This is a hunting trip. Why are they all trying to pop scary clothes? This is what happens when you don't let men hug. They greedy jump in the pop scare and road flare. If they are just slowly killed themselves one by one because of pop scares and then gunshots,

we're 100%. And with this, it's like, oh, yeah, well, thanks for saying hi. What a what a valuable use of our only flare. I can't imagine. It's a choice. One of that will come in useful later in the film when we don't have one. No, I brought it extra orders. Just prank.

I play it too. We even watch him put the flare. And he's like, what do we do with that flare now? You little fire that you're holding. And he's like, I'm gonna mush it into the ground. I'm gonna stub it out in this pile of dry leaves. It's fun. Yeah.

I can't see how that could go wrong. Don't worry. I'm gonna use it later for a gender reveal in a California red. What? All right. So then we cut to marshmallow, cooking, and bullshit buddy stories.

And we get this, I because they're clearly they're just going for silly funny story that their buddy has but it's the most terrible horrible it keeps getting worse it starts with a naked child chain to a pipe and it gets worse. Okay, that's not, no one didn't explain to you. No. The story is like, so I got just get handcuffed to some playground equipment. And I take out my hose, obviously. Yes.

Yeah, that was my story. I don't believe that. And his friend takes issue with the story by saying, Hey, you can't hold down naked boys in your backyard. And I can't tell which bit of the sentence you take an issue with there. Like, are you allowed to hold down closed boys or can you only do naked boys in your front yard

like which bit are you quit his eyes? But that's literally the story they came up with. So he's like, the idea is he was, he was like the counselor at youth camp or something. He catches some kid who got dared to run across something naked and while the kids naked, he takes him to his house, change him to a pipe, hoses him down and leaves him out in the cold overnight so he can learn his lesson. That's literally the story that the man tells. This is definitely something from a radicalization camp, right?

This is something ISIS does. This is something that all the dishes are doing is like a way of toughening and indoctrating people in. This is what's happening. Yeah. This would be an investigation in the Marines. Maybe like, man, relax, okay. We want Navy SEAL. Damn, I ordered the code, ran of the kid

with the whole thing, like, like, it's going to be. Well, yeah, so I thought to myself at this point, like, unless this movie is about that kid hunting these people with a straight razor from here on out, there's no fucking reason for that to be the goddamn story. movie is about that kid hunting these people with a straight razor from here on out. There's no fucking reason for that to be the goddamn story. But yeah, that's it.

We're done with that story, right? Like he's just trying to make the, you know, sometimes you just got a torture naked children point. Yep. And they also turn in their cell phones here because horror movies don't work with cell phones. Yeah. Yeah. It's a small move. There was a period of time when horror movies were completely fucked and then Apple came

along and saved the day with its three hour battery life on an iPhone and all horror movie writers could be the side of the week. Oh, thank God. All right. Well, it looks like this movie is about to settle on a genre at least. So without assurance, I think we can take time for another break, but we're back in a flash with even more Hunters Creed. Hey, welcome to a typical clothing store. Can I help you?

Yeah, I'm just here for like some t-shirts. Oh, well, you're a tall skinny guy. Uh, possible. So yeah. Okay, well, can I interest you in this? Is that a crop top? Nope, it is the only shirt we make for guys your size. Okay, well, can I interest you in this? Is that a crop top? Nope, it is the only shirt we make for guys your size. But it's no-one day long enough. I'm gonna look ridiculous.

Have you got anything that will actually fit me? No, we don't. But cut's clothing does? What's cut's clothing? They've taken a classic men's fashion stable to plain tea and refine it, combining premium quality with a minimalistic aesthetic. Each piece of clothing is designed with custom engineered fabric, expertly graded for the

perfect fit, arming you for every challenge and opportunity. The end result, what GQ magazine calls the only shirt worth wearing. Wow, well, that's certainly sounds good. It is. It's not just a lifestyle, it's not just clothing. It's office leisure apparel for the sport of business Get 15% off of your first order by going to cuts clothing.com slash cam. That's cuts clothing.com slash cam for 15% off the only shirt worth wearing Wow, I'll write to the sport of business. You say well, um, yeah, thanks. I guess Wait, wait before you go. Uh, we do have this t-shirt, this is long enough for you.

Oh, you do? Yeah, it's a quadruple XL, and it only comes in bloodstained. Yeah, okay. All right, everyone, welcome to the first ever Riders Meeting for Hunter's Tree. Hell yeah, let's write this down. All right, and praise the Lord.

All right, so as y'all are well aware, we had a bit of a miscommunication. So Steve made a movie about his wife dying of cancer and his struggle with faith. He bless her heart. Yeah, Tim made a comedy buck hunting show. I wear funny hats in it. I'm funny. I have a bunch of funny hats.

Yep. And Greg won 11 minutes. A dog about a hundred's time in that personal injury lawsuit, which he has supplemented with footage from his camera doorbell worth every penny. Well, I tell you what, why don't we just smash all this shit together and put it on Amazon Prime? All right. That was good to me. Hell yeah. I fell on dog the Bonnie Hunter steps, you know, we know, man, you told us. Mm-hmm. Hey podcast steps, you know, we know man, you told us. Mm-hmm.

Hey podcast listener, you know, there's been a lot of talk about sacrifice in the news lightly. I'm grocery store workers and nurses and doctors. They're countless people to think for the barest hints of normalcy that we get to enjoy. But have you thought about podcasters? That's right. Podcasters were in the front lines of terrible cinema so that you don't have to be. And there's no better example of our sacrifice than this month's hatred-only bonus episode.

Laquisha. Ha ha ha ha ha. This 2019 film written, directed, and produced by, as well as starring the same mediocre white guy, is about a white dude who uses a black lady voice to give out advice and spoiler alert. He never learns not to do that. No he does not.

And if you'd like to make sure that our suffering wasn't for nothing, why not sign up to support the show over at patreon.com slash God awful. You'll get access to our review of Laquisha as soon as it comes out as well as 55 other bonus episodes, including Wonder Woman 84, Batman vs Superman, and even some bad movies that weren't made by Zack Snyder. Sign up to support us at higher levels, and we'll send you your very own Christian movie bingo card, designed by friend of the show, Angelo Madrid, so you can play along at home. Plus, you'll be helping to support the show and Eli's at this point very expensive prank website. Have it. Patreon.com slash God awful because some heroes just watched

Laquisha. All right, you guys ready for the ads? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and, and Marsh, I wanted to thank you again for the article that you wrote about podcast ads and the, and the skeptic this week. Yeah, super nice shout out. Thanks. Yeah. No, I mean, you know, it's, I wanted to thank you again for the article that you wrote about podcast ads and the skeptic this week. Yeah, super nice shout out, thanks. Yeah, no, I think we just need to be really careful about what we advocate for, you know? Yeah, you're right. I mean, what seems like a casual ad read to us

can reinforce some super harmful beliefs, you never know. You can never be too careful. Exactly. All right, Eli, so whenever you're ready, bro. Yeah, okay. Blah, blah. Hey, hey, hey, hey, it's okay, buddy. Oh, hey, guys, what's the matter?

Yeah, it's Eli. He's got cancer. Yep. I sure do. Oh, well, why don't you try Dicke joke, the only CBD infused cereal, guaranteed to kill your cancer with your bone. Sorry, what? Yeah, it's a new sponsor with your born. Sorry, what?

Yeah, it's a new sponsor. But like, I may claim in what I'm sorry, or if I got it, like an afternoon thing with a wife, if you don't, yeah, if you don't mind, just like do the thing. Right. Fine. Okay. Just fill out the maze on the back of our box. And one of our telemedicine doctors will have already prescribed you enough off brand viagra and CBD infuse cereal to send all the cancer in your body, shooting out of the tip of your dick in no time. Okay, now that cannot be scientific.

March the copy. Read the copy. We still gotta do the movie. And best of all, it's completely GM all free. You're saying not a single gene of the organisms used to make this cereal have been modified in any way. That's right, Heath, not a single one. What would that even mean if it were true? No idea. Get 10% off your first box by going to our website and using the code Marsh Deeply Believes in this product to date.

Why is that the code? We don't pick the code smart. Yes, based on the show. Dick Yoke, I personally guarantee it will cure your cancer or you can tickle my feet until I puke. Excellent. Great read. Dickyoke, I personally guarantee it will kill your cancer or you can tickle my feet until I puke. Excellent. Great read.

Right, do we have any interstitial breaks this week that aren't direct attacks on me? I think we have one, maybe. Not direct, yeah. Great, perfect. And we're back for more of this shit. We're gonna open up on what I'm sure they thought was that hilarious bit that their buddy Russell does about showing off his new bow. This guy bought and packed fake teeth just for this bit.

Yep. So stupid. Hey, can't you say this little comedian to comedian Russell? If you're meeting a bow hunting show, Hillbilly teeth off limits, they're not going to like it. That is your target audience is not going to enjoy Hillbilly teeth. He goes into detail on this. And at one point, I thought, is this, is this an information fall the ball? Because I don't trust you guys after that Eric Metaxas stuff with my little camera.

Well, and this is by the way, the first time I realized that this movie was not just about hunting, but about bow hunting, which is, you know, like hunting with a rifle, but with extra wanton cruelty. Yeah. Yeah. So much worse. Well, a way easier way for it to go wrong. Less than already bad.

Right. And they can't help, but cock worship this bow, man. I mean, it's a 10 minute long scene. So much of America would be better off if they could just like unveil a big black dildo and lap back and forth on it, half or even 20 to 30 minutes. And again, it's supposed to be like, you know,

the communing with nature thing. And this guy's like, you know, just like the ancient hunter gatherers, I present this carpet fight. Yeah, right. Oh, complicated. There's so many got cougars and wheels and strings and whistles on it. It's insane. It looks like something Batman would pull out.

Yeah. I just wanted to cut over to a deer flying a predator drone into this house. All right. That's on it. That's good. That's fair. That's fair. How many points am I? All right, so they take their bows out and they're going to go do some fucking target practice, I guess, but along the way, they're going to talk about the myth that the Columbine shooters targeted Christians for some reason. the myth that the Columbine shooters targeted Christians for some reason. Okay, but why would the book be called? She said, yes, if on unless her mom was clean to religion as a way to deal with the fact that her daughter was killed in a senseless man shooting.

What the fuck was this doing in the moon? It was so weird. And David, this point is the the no good atheist. I think that's what it was therefore to establish Dave as the atheist. Oh, right. Yes. I'm trying to do the rational thing. But he's meant to be wrong. And the person we're meant to think is right is his friend who calls it the library that she got shot in. Yeah. No, he was shot in the library and you can trust it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's right. That That sets up Dave's, but prayer is bullshit moment and everybody gasps or whatever. And then they show up to their target shooting thing where they're shooting the fake practice deer with their bow and arrows. And I'm like, that's fine. Yeah. You know, if you guys want to go out and look at it and then they do that

for an evening, you know, that's, that looks like fun. Yeah, it looks fine. I mean, I wrote that Disney plus's whole guyye spin-off is pretty disappointing. On the plus side, there's no Jeremy Rennner, so you know, I'll take it. I'll take it. And they spend so long in the scene setting up. Oh, Dave's still a crack shot. It will never pay. Oh, no, no, no. It's so frustrating. His skills never come up again apart from now. And they make out like, oh, yeah, he was so good. We used to call him shooter, which is a confusing nickname for a group of hunters. Call him Archer. You probably get another friend who's good with it again.

What are you gonna call him? You blown your load there. Think about it. So, and I got so bored with this thing because he's like, he's trying to shoot something that's like super far away and everything. And I'm like, is that even very far away for an archer? And I learned that the world archery record

for an accurate shot under world archery conditions, or like whatever the fucking league is, is 283.47 meters, and it was set by a guy who did not have arms. Woo! Yeah, Robin Hood did not have arms. One fact. Fact.

All right. By the way, if you ever want to feel better about your body, go ahead and look up World Archery Champions. Yeah, you can bring your rescue out there, man. Go for it. So, oh god, that joke works so much better if I don't set it up with a guy with no arms. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's not what he likes talking about.

All right, so then we get Dave. It's early in the morning and Dave's going to tell us boring hunter shit. It goes on for so like where he talks about how he masks his sweats. Melancholy. She's just shut up. God, you make me watch a boring film in which a man talks about how much he sweats, fuck me. And I must be like, I could not be less interested in hunting.

And here's the weird thing about like the cross-cultural kind of thing going on. Like hunting in the US is kind of a common man's kind of thing. It's like an everyday kind of guy, a redneck kind of guy, it's all that kind of stuff. In the UK, it just isn't that. Hunting in the UK is pretty much exclusively a very posh sport. Right. Right. Right. Down to the fact that a fun fact, the government when giving the exact listing the few exemptions to COVID laws around how many people can gather

in one place, one of those exemptions were for hunting parties for the Boxing Day hunt where a lot of tops get on the back of horses and chase a fox with like 18 dogs together. That was allowed because you can't piss off the hunters because they own the country basically. So we do not have an affinity for hunting and hunters here in the UK generally. Sincerely held killing. Hey, listen, Peter, if you're listening and I know you are, make American hunters dress the way British hunters voluntarily dress

and you will kill the sport of hunting overnight. And and force the British hunters to dress the way the American ones do. I think you can get it both sides of the pond. Everybody wins. Yeah, that is perfect. That is absolutely perfect. You guys have to look like a chess bishop and you have to look like you're trying to use Kamu to hide from your child support payments.

Everybody go. Rules are rules. Okay, question about how they think Camo works. So Dave is sweaty, right? He's a sweaty guy. So he says, I'm not wearing my full Camo yet because the deer can smell sweat, but he's covered in Camo.

He's wearing Camo all over his body. Like, do they think you need extra layers of camel? And make it really worth. What does that mean? Maybe the camel is just so good, he can't see it. So he doesn't know he's wearing it. Oh, I have put it on. Shit. I did. I have some good camel right there. Oh, no, that was just foliage, but no, it turns out right.

No, no, you know what? It's for gears that have very weak x ray very weak x-ray vision, you know, I still can't see them at all. Yeah. One layer x-ray. Yeah. Exactly. Also, and then they stop and have a quick prayer because I stopped counting the scenes at this point, but I think we're saying something like 16 and then they all set out to their different deer blinds. Now the way this is set up, they have one deer blind that's to the north, one to the east, one to the west, one to the south and each of them are going to swap out each day. So they're going to go together to this cabin and then spend all day sitting up in trees by themselves. That's the sport. Yep. Bonding for the straight American male, ladies. That's the sport. Yeah. Bonding for the straight American male, ladies and gentlemen. And there's just so many weird things about this. I mean, first of all, the fact that they're praying is weird.

How it's like, dear God, please let us murder lots of your creations today. Hey, thanks. It's such a weird thing to be doing. And then as Dave walks away, one of his mates says, hey, Dave, ain't nothing in those words. You can't kill with that ball. So, um, thanks, I guess. I mean in those words. You can't kill with that ball. Um, thanks, I guess. I mean, I was going to get the deal, but thanks for the confidence,

permission. What the fuck would be in those words that you couldn't kill with the ball? Kill some fucking trees too. Unless it was permission, because you didn't use those words. His three friends. And so I don't know where this mate was like, look, we've all got sick of this bowl guy doing the pops gas, man. We don't use no pot in the language and victim you. And I eat the whole tree. I'm not an asshole. I'm like a native American. I eat the whole tree. If you see a metal bear, run. All right. And then I rate my notes. So then we follow Russ Dave, no fucking clue. It turns out to be Dave eventually, but it's it's apparently it's like before sunrise. It's early, early in the morning and he's going out to find his deer of blind. And wouldn't you know it?

He sees a creepy light in the distance. The thing is, I cannot think of a single thing that would get me into the woods before dawn. And I'll go to some pretty crazy places. I spend three days voluntarily in a hotel full of flat earthen. So I will put myself into the hotel, but nothing is getting me in the woods before dawn. It's amazing to me how many hobbies involve people waking up at 5 a.m. That should be the first step of your hobby, should I have to wake up at 5 a.m. That should be the like the first step of your hobby should be do I have to wake up at 5 a.m.? Yes, well, then it's not a hobby.

It's a punishment. And that's why there's no Q. E. D. this year. So he sees this creepy light. It's a candle, right? But it's, you know, can doling creepily. Scary candle. What's so amazing about this is this is where they're trying to get the like Blair witch shaky camera, but it's combined with the toxic masculinity of I know pussy. So he's just like, what's your candle? Fuck you, candle, fuck you. Also, I mean, we're being led to believe that there's like some sort of demonic presence in this forest, right?

So like a demon is just really slow playing it and being like, I'm just gonna do one candle. Even the candle's stuck up. It's gonna be really subtle. Yeah, yeah, just setting the mood. You know, you've got to like the candle's first, you know, next scene, they're gonna put a bit of a shot on the background.

Just really get into the mood. See, I thought that the candle was doing the tactic. My wife does when she buys too much shit at bedbath and beyond. Just starts lighten all the candles and that, okay, what did you get? What failed did they have that you're now trying to dispose of all the candles we own so you can reflect on the. What I love are living room to smell like a forest in our bathroom to smell like peaches and cream and the other side of our bathroom to smell like Judge me. Oh, Judge me love those things Seriously that sounds delightful

Better than what my bathroom smells like Yeah, I'm team in on that one of them Hashtag candlegate everybody candlegate that one of the best hashtag candlegate everybody candlegate. All right, so now we cut to like it's full day out and he's going to sit in a tree and wait for a deer because at the 35 minute market, the title of this goddamn movie could have just been killing time the movie, right? Yeah. And what I love this, he's he's up in the tree, but he's talking to himself about snacks and he's an atheist like he seems to see this guy for copyright Infrared

Oh the scene is so boring. He talks about his snacking habits Talks about how his favorite part of hunting is how he gets to sit outdoors in the woods And I was like to someone want to break into this guy that you're allowed to appreciate the woods without murdering things. Yeah. I'm gonna go outside in five in the morning to do that. So, just sitting there in the museum, fuck, I love these paintings.

I actually kill something quick. He sees a deer at this point as well. And he talks about how, you know, the deer's amazing, like how amazing it is. Like, he's right, deer are pretty cool. Like, I met some deer in Japan, I was in Nara, where the bidilla would bow to you when they met people because they saw people bow to each other. And when they, when they saw that, they thought of, you know, they'd start making the bow

because then people would feed them and they taught themselves to bow. It was amazing. That's the most adorable thing I've ever heard. Yeah, they were, they were, they were, were an absolute delight. And I didn't try and kill them for sport. Come on, a fucking sign. It's like, wow, boom, down. Marsh Bows and kicks him in the face. Oh, I thought we did. Oh, he started.

I thought it was starting. I'm so sorry. All right. So, but yeah, so then he sits in a tree all day and does absolutely nothing. Right. And so now he's leaving. He's going back to the cabin. Well, he does nothing except tell us about his candy strategy, which I actually love this

part. This guy glues like, you know, be a great 10 minute segment of this video. We're making me explaining how I pre unwrap a bunch of candy and put it loose in a little paper towel so I can avoid making noise when I'm hunting deer. He says out loud while he's out in the woods. He also says he didn't get anything. He goes, not a bad day one.

That's that it must be a bad day one. What has it been? It has to be. Nothing. Nothing. Yeah, right. No deer shot me. Yeah, no, no candy. It's no kind of you left the candy at home. Yeah. So, so he's walking back. He didn't get any

deer today, but that's fine. And of course, fucking Johnny jump scare shows up behind him again. But shit. What is that? Again, because every interaction has to be juvenile bullshit, the guy says, hey, man, when I was out taking a shit, I didn't have any toilet paper in the rub's mud in his face. And he goes, dude, was that poop? Like, you literally think your buddy was walking around with a handful of shit so he can smear some on your feet.

What? I like to unwrap my shit and put it in a paper towel. So I'm making notes. Whether or not it's poop, this movie is firmly in sconce my next prank on Marsh. Yeah, I want you to define right now as sconce. I bet you want American dolly. You cannot accurate.

That's what sevens do English men. Candle. He doesn't have an American doll or Eli don't. That's 70 to English fans. Candle. He doesn't have an American dollar. Eli don't. It's a sucker. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what happened when you got exactly vaccine stealer. All right. But now one of their friends came back with dead rabbits. This is Paul. He's the fourth friend that showed up. He's got dead rabbits. So now we're going to have the big hilarious breakfast cookin' the skit. Okay, I have a very important thing about this breakfast cooking skit.

Do you? I do. He's like, here's a grits and the apples, here's the yum, no sin sausage and the sin-free bacon. Shit, shouldn't have put those two bits together. But then he just pulls out milk and he goes, Mary's milk is the joke that that is the breast milk of the Virgin Mary. I think that's what any a gallon of it. I'm no prude, but I feel like all the people that wouldn't be super into talking about Mary's breast milk, it would be Christians, right? Why was he doing it? Why would it be sin-free sausage in a holy ham to begin with?

Yeah, the only thing I could think of was I was having delayed side effects for my COVID vaccine. That was the only thing I could do to rationalize this. So, oh, and we forgot to mention because it's so unmentionably boring that while Dave was sitting around in the tree,

he heard a creepy sound at one point. Right. So is there all sitting down to eat Dave says, Hey man, well, while you guys were out in the woods, did any of you guys hear something that might have advanced the goddamn plot at all? Nope. Nope. Nothing didn't hear nothing.

And by the way, the noise he heard was like, uh, uh, like it wasn't even a scary or demon-esque noise. They don't be bothered. No, it was like, uh, uh, like it wasn't even a scary or even an ex noise. They know, be bothered. No, it was like normal forest noise. That's it. More or less. Yeah. But this is where Sean decides the pop scare guy decides that he's going

to go hard on his evangelism. So he explains, well, I'm not surprised that you're hearing demons haunting you in the woods because you don't love God anymore, mother fucker. How about that? Yeah. His line is, if you hang around the darkness long enough, you're bound to make some dark friends. I'm saying, yeah, but before we love Jesus, his friend was dug the bounty hunter.

So I think he's trying to be like, And obviously Dave gets mad here. And he's like, oh, yeah, you want to talk about religion? Let's talk about my dead wife and the problem of evil and cancer. And then Sean, the Nazi pop scare guys like, oh yeah, no, that's perfect. Let's talk about her.

Do you ever want to see her again? So fucked up. That guy is supposed to be the good guy. So and Dave like understandably leaps up to attack him. But because he's really big and Dave's really small. He like lets them. I know I've been here right where you left the guy. Oh, you're looking back. I mean, it hold me back. You're lucky. Russell's holding me back with this potato salad fork. Because it's a Russian get the fucking fork, man.

All this ball guy does is pop scares and then preach a judgment and I thought you know, I hope he dies first and I mean the actor not the character. I hope he laughs at that. Jesus Christ. That's what I said. Like if that character doesn't like trip and fall into a wood chipper at some point, this movie is completely wasted. Why makes such a terrible bad guy and then not pull the trigger?

Literally. Cause they think he's the good guy. Because he's the one trying to get him back to Jesus. I know it's so bizarre to me that they don't realize that all of these characters need to die by the end. Jesus. All right, and then we have the bit where like, so Dave Wanderer's off to be all sad

and plotch on some murder. I mean, they're all out there hunting. That seems like you can get away with it. He takes the camera with him though, because bear in mind, this is all meant to be found footage. So he set the camera up before he goes for a soul guy. And we get this shot right. I've got to have the right shot, but just behind this book of water, that's when I'll do me plotting to kill him. Yeah. Well, and then and then his buddy Paul shows up. Now, Paul's the one who killed the rabbits that they just got done eating. So now he's going to wash the blood off of his hands from cleaning

the rabbits. Yes, after he got done eating, he decides to wash the blood off of his hands from killing the rabbits. It's so weird. It's right up next to the camera and he does it for so long. And I swear, as he washes hands, they get blood. I think he's washing blood onto his hands. I think that's their blood bucket. Yeah. All right. Now that makes sense. That makes sense. And in the end, he just gives up and starts wiping them on a bloody rag in exactly the same way that guys like give up drying the hands and the hand drying when it's a bit shit and just rub it on your jeans instead. It's not.

Yeah. And then we have this like this never comes up again. They just want to make sure that they didn't get all the way through the movie without shitting on mental health services. So the guy's like, Hey, are you still taking that medicine that your therapist put you on? And he's like, Nope. And he's like, Oh, good. That's a good idea of this movie.

Yep. And that's all we're going to say about that. Hey, you know what? That reminds me of transition to the satanic cult plot point. Speaking of things that we make up in our brains that are part of our mental illness that's shared by a religious delusion, cult, satanic cults and how widespread and real they are. And then the guy's came, like, oh, do you think that's all, all, like, is that true?

And he says, yeah, no, that, yeah, that, that lady who was, who was, uh, who was saying, she seemed pretty weird to me, says the guy who still blood on his hands casually wiping his knife on the dirt to your back. Not the best judge I've made. So, all right, so now we cut it that night again. They're all sitting around the campfire where Russ shared his torturing the wet kid story. And we get another wet kid story. This is the wet kid's story, fire. Yeah, he starts out.

So I found a kid at the bottom of a pool and everybody's like, God damn it, you're not invited anymore. You're not invited. You're not invited. You don't want to do the campfire story thing. So yeah, we asked you what you got up to all the summer. I thought you'd say like a vacation,

not fucking found a dead kid. And the thing is this kid who's at the bottom of the pool, he explains in this story that the kid was like high jinks around the pool and I thought he was then let him go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, some kids up to some ill advised high jinks, take it from God off the movies. Strip. I'm gonna pause them. Damn right. No. Yeah, yes.

Eli, stop buying stripped down kids. I'm gonna change the back. You're hurt. And it's got such good pricing these days. Oh, already exists. Too late. The kid's not even dead. He tells us to the kid isn't even dead. He goes, it's three minutes

into, I found a kid at the bottom of the swimming pool. Three minutes, he let that story go on before saying, anyway, the kid was fine in the end. Did you have a problem? Yeah, he's just so small. Dude, could you improvise a cooking show instead or something that you do this all wrong? At the end of it, preachy guy even asks him, so before you finish, what was the lesson? And again, the lesson, you three steps, a solution to juvenile delinquency, strip, handcuffs, holes.

The lesson straight down the barrel of the camera, like it's the end of fucking he man or something. It's an awesome thing. It's an awesome thing. Yeah, he goes, he goes, the lesson is that God must have liked that kid more than Dave's wife, right? Am I right? But then Dave leaves.

He's like, I don't want to hear about people who lived, but I'm, he, he, he wanders off. But then we cut the late that night, again, problem with found footage movies. So he wakes up and he sees some weird lights in the background. So he immediately turns the camera on and walks out, right? So, but he goes out to where the bonfire was where the guys had been telling their stories and shit.

And damn it, if there's not a scary candle in it, that's the second candle, six more, and he'll be haunted by a Hanukkah. Demon just standing off in a clearing. All right, I'm nailing this. This is two of the building this is today. And then so this is also where we meet the first time. Dave's scared sounds, right? He's just trying to do the, I'm, yeah, good,

it sounds like, I don't, it sounds like cookie monster almost as an orgasm. It sounds like me and he's climbing a stair. And yeah, so he gets all terrified. He runs back inside. He's scared of a candle. Well, it's a candle and then it's like three loud bangs. And then this weird scream, and I'm pretty sure the weird scream is dog the bounty hunter remembering he's been in this film already. No. I think it's under down. So he runs back inside and funny guy's there. He's like, Hey, man, you know, you want to have a scene? And he's like, yeah, we might as well have a scene. Now since we're both awake. And instead of saying, Hey, man, I've been seeing some creepy

shit. And there was a candle out there. So clearly there's somebody running around putting candles out and there was a weird sound. We should go check it out. It sounded like somebody screamed and could be in some serious danger. He just goes, All right, man, well, I'm, I'm, I'm kind of freaked out. So I'm going to go to bed tonight now. Oh, okay. And that's, that's the end of the scene, except we get one little shot of Russell being like, all right, I'm bad. And then he takes a big bite of cereal, he's sloppy. I'm not laughing.

So was he already up eating cereal when Dave went out to the porch light? Oh, did he? Dave getting panicked. I thought I'm going to eat some cereal for this. See, that's the shot I wanted is Russell sitting in the dark again, because Dave turns on the light, getting cereal being like, I don't think my story about the drowned kid had the punch that I wanted.

I should have led with a funnier story. Stupid Russell. And then this is where they start cutting in the B-roll of like their fucking ring doorbell seeing a deer outside there. Well, it's not the first time they do it. Yeah, we haven't mentioned it up till now, but yeah. But what's great is I get what they're going for here, right? They're trying to do paranormal activity, right?

That he was like, oh, look, here's our security camera footage of the demon doing a thing. But the demon never does the thing in their footage. Right. It's just a deer like munching on some grass, and then there's a noise and deer's like, what was that? What was that? I don't know. It's like they forgot to CGI in the spooky stuff.

We'll come back in post. Don't want to become that in post. Oh, we'll add something in post. Dog said he'd add something in post. He said, God, God, God, dear. Do something spooky for the b-roll. Spooky and action. I love to that they actually get the deer like hearing a creepy sound or whatever, but the deer like lives in the woods. So it just looks over there like, yeah, it's probably

nothing and goes back to you. All right. It's the woods. I'm a deer. Yeah, that's just Brian. He does that every night. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Go back to sleep, Brian. Well, I'll tell you what, it turns out that's what's going to pass for something happening in this movie. So we're going to call that break time. But first let me get actually the hard sell here. Will we learn to tell Dave and Russ apart in time? Why didn't they give one of them a distinctive hat or an eye patch or something? Will it ever even matter if we know the comic relief from the dramatic lead?

Fight out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the ridiculous conclusion of Hunter's Creed. Move your elbow. This is my joke elbow. Please don't have a joke elbow. Not a thing. I need it. Oh, hey guys, what's up?

Oh, hey, Marsh. Ely spent most of our money on website pranks again. So we were saving money by, you know, just all using this one mic and it's got a little tight. There's a third chair. You don't have to sit on my lap. I get nervous. I get nervous.

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on the nation's largest 5G network. Yeah, I actually switched to Mint when they started sponsoring our show and I'm never going back. I saved a ton. Okay, but do I have to get like a heath phone or a number that starts with an umuatt? No, no, you use your own phone with any Mint mobile plan and you keep the same phone number along with all your existing contacts. And if you're not 100% satisfied, Mint mobile has you covered with their seven-day money back guarantee. So switch to Mint mobile, get premium Wireless Service and starting at just 15 books per month. All right, Marsh, that sounds good. How do we sign up?

To get a new wireless plan for just 15 books a month and to get the plan shipped to your door for free, go to MintMobile.com slash Gam, that's MintMobile.com slash Gam, cut your wireless bills to 15 books a month at MintMobile.com slash Gam. All right, Marsh, we're in. All you know, you could just stop buying prank websites about me. Yeah, I'm probably going to do the mint thing. Oh, yeah, for sure. Definitely. I didn't steal the vaccine.

It's true. Maybe you guys could distract him with a different hobby or something. I don't know what to tell you. I like he tried chess for a couple of weeks. Yeah, and he's bad at thinking. Yeah, that's fair. Hey, guys, guys, we're back. Dinner is served.

Yeah, ding, ding. Let's eat. Oh, nice. Dinner. Marshall, are you hungry? That's an unconscious man. He's not a man at Mars. He's an Instacart shopper and his name was Phil.

And he's not unconscious. That's a weird way to say it. We murdered him. Yeah, with a razor ball. Why would you do that? Well, we need to eat, dude. Yeah, do you want us to starve? Right, sure, but like surely there's got to be a bad way for you to eat than the cruel murder of innocent people. Uh, nope, turns out that's not literally none. And you asking us to think of one is racist. Racist. Yes. Thank you. Yes. How's that racist? Well, ancient people had to kill Instacart shoppers March and those people, the ancient ones, they, they aren't white. Ergo, you asking us not not to murder people, is racist.

Racist. Yup. Right. First of all, ancient people didn't have razor balls. And secondly, I'm pretty sure you aren't starving. You're just killing Instacart Shoppers for fun. How dare you? We honor these Instacart Shoppers.

We eat everything, Marsh, even if they brought broccoli. Yeah. Yeah. I've got literally no idea why you think that makes killing something. Okay. Plus, plus if we don't kill them with razor balls, the population of Instacart sharpers will just gonna just spiral out of control. It's true. Ah, they're everywhere. Yeah, like triples. But even if that was true, surely the solution isn't for Eli and Heath to kill them with razor balls. You want us to starve them? My dad's book store went out of view.

My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view.

My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view.

My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. My dad's book store went out of view. murdering something for a hobby. Yeah, it's not. Oh, oh, I fell on my razor ball. Oh my god, what a terrible accident. There was no way to prevent it though. Mental health services. Okay. And we're back. We're still more of this shit.

We're going to rejoin the gang on the following morning, setting out once again to sit in fucking trees all day. Oh my God. At a certain point, this has to become Koyana Scotzi, right? Like Koyana Scotzi gets to sue them. This is class. I have a question about hunting.

You're asking the right people. I'm saying. I maybe you know, I don't know. So first of all, they talk about the hunting blinds they're using. I assume that means you're like covered by something. So deer can't see you there, right? No, no, no. A deer blind is a place that you set up in a tree that you can climb high up in.

So they can't see because the deer aren't looking up in a tree for shit. Yeah, it's called a blind because treehouse is undignified. Because very often there's no structure at all. It's like the thing that he's got here, where it's just a pipe you're sitting on that you're kind of tied to. It's not really a blind. It's just to be somewhere they don't typically look. That's not the same as me. Thank you. That's not what that word means. He's also also, was he up in the air? I thought he was just like standing on the ground with a tied to a rope to the tree. So he's just like kind of dangly, but he's standing there. It didn't make any sense to me.

No, no, he's pretty high up because he falls. Yeah, no, I think, so here's what was fucking, yeah, I think is that yes, that's what he was doing. He was, he was inches off the ground. They were trying to make it look like he was high up in a tree, but I don't think they were able to film when he was actually way up in the tree. But what you would normally do is you'd be way up in a fucking tree,

you'd have like, you know, some stakes on the tree that you climb up or whatever. And then you like attach yourself to a rope there and you sit on a like a pipe or something. Now sometimes they don't have like a whole full tree house, like a stand like Eli's talking about. But in this instance, they just had some pipes, they were so shit.

Yeah, that's what was covered in wax, the pipe that he's using to climb the tree. Yeah, yeah. Okay, because as we saw it, it was just like, he's not a little tether, so he could be like, wee! He's just bouncing after the deer, boy. He swings in and grabs it from above

like a like a silent Bob trying to get the pin. Yeah. So, but what's amazing to me about this is that they don't explain any of this within the movie. They expect you to know all this shit. So if you don't know how a deer blind works, it takes a long time to figure out that Dave's not hanging himself in this scene, right? There's a rope behind his neck going up into the tree. Yes, I was baffled by this. I was like, oh, you're going to hurt yourself real bad somehow. Well, and he does. He does, right?

Yeah, he might as well jump around too much like a dog and like hang himself. It's really close to that? Yeah, he might as well jump around too much like a dog and like hang himself. It's really close. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, so he's sitting there up in his hunter jumper or whatever and he sees a deer come by and he's like, oh, this is a perfect killing deer. So he pulls back his bow and just as he fires the arrow, he falls out of the tree, he screams and he's knocked unconscious. And I want him to be dead. And

I want to the rest of this film for just because his corpse slowly rotting. I was just hours, hours of his slowly not going up. My story was growing out of his. Yeah. Dear hangs him up and taking pictures, but I'm on Facebook. He's quite badly injured. No deer are the deer are one they look at this point to the deer are winning. Yeah. Right. Yeah, right? Yeah, I'm losing to the deer

Okay, but here's the best part He gets knocked first of all if he's gonna fall I left for a while because he's like He like gets up and it's like Ah, ew, ew. And that's it. Well, okay. So you're making it sound like this all was instantaneous. You're leaving out the fact that we watch him lay

on the ground for I shit you not. 64 seconds. It's so long. And he was terrified. Check to see if they had accidentally paused. Did you guys all check? Yeah. Well, because they had the sound effects where you could hear the evil demons walking by

behind the camera or something. I don't know, I was supposed to be. But yeah, but he goes and he looks in the tree and dammit, he doesn't find a cross carved into the tree, but not just any cross, a stupid looking one like the necklace that he got for his wife. So is the implication here that she did it? Is she trying to kill him so he can join her?

Is that what's happening here? That would make sense right because the candles were just supposed to be romantic. You know, she's trying to set the moon. Turns out she went to hell after dying with the painter. And she met up with demons and was like, hey, I've heard you guys doing like this really subtle plan with like one candle at a time. I got an idea to build the moment. Yeah, I'd like a little, you know, cross.

It's like this necklace. He got me. He'll get it. Okay, but here's the best part because it's a loopy fancy cross. It also super duper looks like a dick with three balls. He's gently shrugging his thumb along it, and it could also just be someone carving a dick with three balls. It also kind of looks like two dicks with two balls or three dicks in a ball.

Yeah, but like there's the one like much longer upended, Jonathan. So yes, I see it. All right. So now we cut over to Russian Paul dragging a deer carcass back to camp. Apparently, Rush, the comic relief has killed the deer finally. What is it with you guys and films with Dead Dears in? Is this another film where they actually killed the deer? And honestly, Dead Deamoth is the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Right.

And it seemed to come out earlier every year. You've barely taken the Christmas decorations down before. Yeah. It's gam dead demons again. Yeah. Right.

That's tackler. I got to I got to think that it's just it's not tasteful for us to do it on the same month as black history month. Okay. I just don't think that's exactly. So yeah, we watched him drag it

down. And yes, I absolutely killed some fucking dear. I'm sure they killed some dear for this fucking movie. Right. So they yeah, we watched him drag it down. And yes, I absolutely killed some fucking deer. I'm sure they killed some deer for this fucking movie, right? Mm-hmm. So they get back to the cabin with the dead deer and they come across Dave. He's sitting in his bedroom, weeping like Jacob Marley. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, break down. Yeah. And they keep rolling. That I can be really good. He's a great friend.

Fuck Hunter. We could set up for a later ugly crying scene. I don't know. I don't know. Keep it. Of course, but but fucking Sean knows an opportunity when he sees one. So he calls an audible and he swaps out the show they were going to do for a ghost hunting show. Okay. Is that what he says? It's totally so long to figure out. He says ghost fever addict. Yeah. Because it was Buck fever addicts, was the original show.

Oh. Oh. I managed to figure it out like three scenes later, but I spent all three scenes trying to figure it out. Like it was in the sort of, like I was watching fucking a Dan Brown film or something like that. All right, it's post giver. Alex, what does that mean? And that means nothing.

And apparently I have no idea what's supposed to be happening, right? Cause Sean does like a hidden camera thing that he doesn't tell everybody else to cameras there. And then we just all watch him like argue about who had that SD card. And then nothing happens, right? Yeah. Why does he need to like hide the camera at all? It's not like that at any point shine to be on camera. Right. They film every single minute of their waking lives like they're fucking Instagram influences. Even the ugly cry it.

He's doing a prank on the guy who was having a mental breakdown and his wife is dead and he's freaking out. That's what's happening right now, right? Yeah. It's the best prank victim. Yeah, because you're right, though, because I think he's looking for the camera that Sean is using to secretly film them, isn't he? Yes. That's exactly what happens.

And again, Dave, the guy who's just having a breakdown starts freaking out about his demon cam is missing where he can show the evidence of how he got attacked by a demon. He starts flying around the house, tearing stuff up, throwing couches up in the air. And Frank guys like, oh, is that Frank went too far? I can't back out though. Yeah. Double down. Yeah. The only thing that he can do is start a website about like day freaked out in the cabin.com That's what you do at this point in the prank of ink. Have you checked in your wife's grave for the camera? Oh, it's nice.

It's better to get her out. Well, hello honey, it's me. She's all slimy. It's hard to do puppet stuff. Which is that not play out yet. And then we got to Paul Hosendown a skin deer. Well, it's not just a skin deer, it's naked, it's tied up and it's holed down. We've got the motto down. It's a signature move. Fatality. Yes. It's also by far the scariest thing in this stupid fucking movie. Right.

Yeah. This whole fucking conversation, they keep this skinless deer in frame. Yeah. And they've got two cameras on it. And every time it cuts to one camera, that's basically like an upskirt cam of this dead skin deer. Yeah. Yeah. Every single time dead skinned deal. Yeah. Yeah.

Single time. It's so weird. Yeah. So, but they're going to have a conversation about, hey, like clearly our friend is just having a complete mental breakdown. Should we pause the hunting expedition? No, we should, we should double that. We should just keep, okay.

All right, we're going to keep going. Yeah, what's better for, you know, a dead wife than overcoming demons while you kill a deer and play them as you can see right next to us a flayed deer. Like that's, yeah, that's what they're doing. Yeah. Maybe God wants our friend to have a nervous breakdown around a bunch of weapons. One detail of his nervous breakdown is that Dave hugged Russell for two hours, which is a really weird detail to put in. Like, I mean, for one thing, why would we spare that footage, that shoot everything else? Why not shoot the two hour long hug that Dave gave Russell? Right. But like, how

did that two hour, how did the second hour of that start? Because at some point, Russell's thinking, right, this is, this is going to end about the hour mark, right? This is not and then you can get it. Okay. I'm going to play, I'm going to play some candy, crush around you. I'm still hugging you. I'm just looking over at my, my phone now. Oh, Mark, right. This is not and then you can Okay, I'm gonna play some candy crush around you. I'm still hugging you. I'm just looking over at my phone now I want to see how it ended as well just like a russell like Any who is that I think I'm gonna be wrong I really wanted to cut to Russell and he's got unwrappedpped candy in a paper towel. See, this is why I keep my candy wrapped around. Yeah.

So they're all sitting now trying to figure out what to do. You know, Russ wants to take him to a back home so he can get some help. Fucking Paul wants to strip him and chain him to a pipe overnight and Sean wants to pop scare the Jesus into him apparently. But ultimately they decide that what they're doing is working just great. They've got all the evidence to suggest that so far. Exactly. Yeah. So they're going to keep going with that. And like, hey, Sean, just really quick. No more pranking the guy who's weeping at it

about his dead wife. Can we just like not prank him? He's fun. And well, yeah, Sean's all bitch. You might as like, I mean, we could, but do we have to? Is that I don't see why we should? The only Z bitchy, he's the guy holding the camera. So he said nothing during this entire conversation between Paul and Russell. And then they turned him and say, yeah, so like stop being a dick to him. Okay. Never gonna see his wife again, but whatever. Yeah. And so and then okay, we cut to Dave trying to walk us through all this footage Never gonna see his wife again, but whatever. Yeah, that's it. And so, and then, okay, we cut to Dave trying to walk us through all this footage that we saw already, right?

He doesn't have to convince us that he found the candle. We saw that footage, but he's like, this is where I found the first candle, and this is where I found the second candle. And as he's doing that, I guess Sean and Russ have found a large shed full of fucking cracker barrel ball decorations or something. Yeah, it's like a museum of uses of tin throughout the ages. That's what it's doing. And the entire point of this is so that Sean can do another pop.

Yes. Yes, it's even through the window like that. Other one was they can't even do a different fucking pop scare at this point. I'm actually genuinely more surprised when he's not doing pop scares when he just walks casually into camera. I'm like, oh, yeah. All right. So we know we cut over to Dave. He's in the woods. His shit is fully lost at this point, right? And we know because he's going full mucus snorting, which is this movie's way of saying shit's gotten serious. Yeah, he's about to die of cancer. I think is what this is. Yeah. And then we get this amazing moment. Okay, I love this. So God damn much,

because what's supposed to have happened is he goes to check the area where he fell out of his deer blind the night before and he finds that that carving of the cross that was in the tree yesterday isn't there anymore. But these stupid fucking idiots didn't think to film that before they carved it into the tree. So we just see him looking at it, but we don't see the spot on the tree where it isn't carved because they sat there for a long time Trying to figure out how to uncarve a tree before they Know they spent days trying to find a very similar tree

And it never even occurred to him that they could just use a different tree and carve a new fucking cross even a different tree and carve a new fucking cross even. Yeah. So the cross just has a black sharpie changing the shape a little bit. Crossed off. It's just scribbled out. Yeah. All right. So Dave decides to go back to the cabin and wouldn't you know what?

Well, he's there. A big ass deer shows up. So he's going to kill it through the window. And look, if you're making a movie that's pro bohunting, right, the only thing you need to not show is that Bose fucking suck, which is why we invented guns. And sometimes even when you're shooter of the marksman, you just stab a deer and it's like, ow, fuck, ow, and runs away. It's near as I can tell, and it's really hard to find the actual statistics on this

because trying to find any fucking stats on bow hunting is like trying to fucking interview somebody for be reasonable. But here's I can tell, about 82% of shots that taken by bow hunters fail to kill the target. Now, I'm talking about the ones that hit the deer. Yeah. Geez.

Like 82% of the time, you just stab a deer that either slowly bleeds out over days or is just permanently injured. Yeah. So fucked up. Also, I was so excited that other people didn't know about the math thing. So wait, is that real? Okay, yeah, that's a real thing when you deer hunt.

It's seriously? Yeah, that noise. So they look at you so you can get a clue. You shot in reality. In reality. In reality, and you go, man, dear, sir, sir, sir, yeah, exactly. And then you say, sir, sir, I'm sure you're here. To be fair, if you were walking along and someone went, ma, you would be like, the fuck is that? And that's what the

deer shows us. So deer hunters are like, deer says what? And this really works. Yep. He looks up, like, the deer looks up like someone just said his name. Like, like, not a said his name, like, he actually knows him, but the, the, you're talking to someone else who's got the same name and you look up and go like, that's my name. Yeah, exactly. That's the look that the day has got. Yeah. The dearest, well, you had the hello, my name is on his, on his chest. I don't know if you saw that. You can see it through the, the scope. Do you just keep swapping? No, thank you. No, thank you. I don't want to be a fan. I don't want a seat.

I don't even have a CD player who the fuck has a CD player anymore. Okay. So here's how I know about the met thing. I once, the only time I have been hunting, I went with an ex-girlfriend's father and was trying to impress him. You went hunting? Yeah. I was trying to impress my ex-girlfriend's father.

How'd that go? Well, I'll tell you how. What? He did not inform me that he was going to go, ma, ma, have the deer. So I began to laugh hysterically. Oh no. And the deer ran away and he was not allowed to murder it. And he was very cranky to me for the rest of the eight hour day of city.

Oh, no, we did. Oh, Jesus Christ. Hey, if you have a quiet based activity, you need to warn someone, by the way, the only break of this quiet that we're going to have in this entire 12 hour day that begins at 5 a.m. is me going, ma, ma. Yeah, you definitely to warn someone if you're about to make a sound like the roadrunners got Lauren Gytis, right? Yeah, so he made man's the deer.

He shoots it and the deer runs off. But we now we actually watch someone shoot a fucking deer with an arrow in the deer run off. And he is ecstatic about what a great job he's done. Right? This actor and, and this is a, this, you know, this is a movie made by people who know a little something about bow hunting is ecstatic that he did such a good shot. He says that after he watches the deer run away in terrible pain. Yeah. And he's like, uh, blood trail on my notes. Cool. Hobby. They're board games. These people know they're board games.

Yeah, we spend a good few minutes of him excitedly following a trail of blood. And he's saying, that's why we're out here, folks. Yeah, to follow blood on leaves. Fuck me. Yeah. Right. And he is orgasmically giddy about this. And we know there is no God as well. We absolutely know there is no God, because there was a God just as he was about to take the shot, Pops get the bold guy, bang, stash.

I don't know if I can get the way you're proven to date, or at least I can hear him from my tongue. Right. All right, so now we cut to an hour later, we know this because he's looking right into the camera. He's like, so it's been about an hour since the last scene. I lost an hour of my found footage. I wanted him to die in the woods with a pop scare from the deer just as revenge. That's what I really wanted. It gets into a clearing. Dear leaps in with a shotgun. No, good. The deer's just like human, human, human. And he stops and

starts the deer. So okay. But now he's not only as he lost the blood trail, but dammit, if he's not just lost in the woods himself, I'm like, man, these motherfuckers have no idea how to woods. You motherfuckers don't, you're trying to film a show about this? Yeah, you know what he could really do with the only flair they brought with him. Shouldn't have put my cell phone in the basket. It's actually got a little, I couldn't just on the fuck turned to damn thing. I'll help. Seriously, a play school walkie talkie solves this movie for that Compass how the fuck does no one have a compass Jesus Christ you fucking idiots, but yeah, so but yeah now we got him just wandering around in the dark in the woods

Screaming his buddy's names, which is by the way not what you're supposed to do if you find yourself lost in the woods in the middle of the night. Screaming like his mom turned the corner at TJ Maxx. Oh Jesus. So meanwhile while he's doing that, Ross is mugging to the camera because that's all he does, unless he's kind of drowned child story to tell. And he hears some screaming and luckily for Dave, he doesn't just assume it's an evil demon and then ignore it until breakfast this time he goes to check it out. So and then we cut back to Dave.

Dave, here's the demon yellow sound, right? Oh, absolutely. Oh, absolutely dog the bounty hunter again. Absolutely, doglet bany hunter. Cause it's raw demon. If you listen carefully, it's a low up. Oh, God, we learn here that is running scared faces even better than is standing still scared face.

It's pretty cool. He falls down again. Yeah. is even better than his standing still scared face. Pretty cool. He falls down again. Yeah, there's another candle here. So he sees one of the candles. Oh, brilliant, because he collects all five, I think it gets an extra life like Yoshi coins. Hahaha.

I just want to dear demons to be making a YouTube show and have that be revealed here and that be the rest of the movie. Like, two Mout Moutids them hunting these dudes. Right, they're the rest of the movie. Like, two mountain meddits them hunting these dudes. Right. They just look into the camera. Man, man, man, man, man, man. Cuts to the rustle deer doing a bit with his body in the next corner.

Man, man, man, man, man. It's got a silly little hat on his hand. There's something. Yeah, it's a very smell. Man, man, man. So yeah, but so he sees another candle 800 yards away, right? So we walk towards this candle for three and a half goddamn minutes of movie and this one's sitting on top of that deer They killed with his arrow and his wife's necklace is hanging from the deer's antlers

Okay I'm gonna spoil this movie a little bit because I need to discuss the implications of this scene this movie a little bit because I need to discuss the implications of this scene. Please. So what the movie is going to suggest to us in about 45 seconds is that Sean, PopScare Nazi and Flame Guy have filled the air with hallucination gas or something to try and scare Dave Shreight back into loving God, which means that they found the deer he killed, put a candle on it, bought a copy of the necklace that he gave his dead wife and hung that on the deer's corpse.

I don't think that's what the movie was going to force with the movie saying. No, I think I think I'm with Eli. I didn't get the gasp it. I never at any point noticed a gasp it until later Dog the bounty hunter says the word gas and I wrote hang what gas and had to rewind to realize I'd Accently skip an entire scene somehow. Oh, wow. So I never saw any gas, but the rest of it. I'm on board with yeah Yeah, I don't think like as other what first of all then none of the rest of this movie makes sense I'm not that it otherwise does but correct

But yeah, like there are a lot of implications of that theory that really challenge everything else in the movie. I don't think that's what they were going for. I think they're going for there were demons and they were demons. Yeah. Okay. Well, because at this point, like he's getting hung upside down and burned over demon flames and he apologizes to God and it all

disappears. Yeah, there's like a big white light and then it all all disappears. And I actually wrote first of all, this is an amazing prank if it's a bald guy again. And then I didn't convince that it was because we see the bald guy early on setting up the amazing he's got for like hosting deer up in the air really quickly. So you't, so you can strip them rather than have to like spend some time, he's made his own hoist. So he's, he's done a hoist on div and then he's got like a fire pit beneath him. He's not actually on fire that, but all the threat of the cat of the site, so we don't see it. I reckon that's what it is. Cause later in again, this is going to spoil what's coming up in a second. Dog the bounty hunter basically says, all of this stuff is possible. Apart from the white light, there is no way they could have done the white light bit.

So all the rest of it was, was, yeah, that's all very man-made, but there's no way man can make bright white light like they did in this picture. Well, he also says that the sounds where you could, the humans could never make those sounds or whatever, but yeah. Right. And don't we see Sean and Russell also like made unconscious by whatever this So I mean that they're suggesting was there. Yes, well, this is all happening. So there's no way that could be what they were trying to go for with the plot now I will say it's funny if it turned out to be like a fifth friend who didn't get invited and got

Or the naked kid that they host that naked holes. Yeah, it's the Exactly and the bull kid right? I'm trying to know the ortho naked kid that they host that naked holes. Yeah, it's the best. Yeah. Exactly. And the bull kid. Right. Well, yeah, right. They both teamed up. Same kid.

Working together. We're really enough. It was the same dude. But right. So now we got Ross. He's like trying to figure out what's going on. He comes across both Sean and Paul cocooned in Moss. Yeah.

Having like a seizure or something, yeah. Yeah, and he's like, he's like, okay, you're just having a seizure. You'll be fine, I'll come back. I'll come back. I'll see if anybody's in real trouble. I thought the moss was like their camouflage though. I thought they'd like, that's what they put moss on themselves

in order to camouflage themselves in a bit, but then they were having a seizure for some reason, which admittedly, it's not related. I don't know, if I wear a lot of moss, I start sweating and then the beard will start to know what's happening. Okay, so this is where my crazy theory comes from and I'm sorry if you have to cut around this if this is just me being insane. The camera goes over some pipes and Russ turns off the pipes. Yeah. Here is what my brain created. Those pipes are filled with scarecrow gas. I know you're saying Eli,

this movie never introduced scarecrow gas. That's a lot. That's not what I was gonna say. That's, I don't think that's the whole. I don't know. It's not a real thing, which is important to us. That was what I was gonna say, thank you. Also not a real thing.

The scarecrow gas is what gives Sean and preacher guy the seizure and why Dave thinks he's on fire. So you think that the plot of this movie is that there is no God and it was all faked. It was all scarecrow. No, my idea is actually so much dumber than that. It's that his dead wife saw the scarecrow prank going too far and she was like, okay, now I'm doing some divine intervention. And she used her magic dead lady powers to lower him down from the scary prank they were playing on. So that all works, but it works even better if

that's not a scarecrow gas tank, because those things don't exist and is made up entirely by Batman. But if instead it's one of the propane tanks that they use to fire up the fire in the cabin. And that's where the fire that he sees is they have, they basically have the pro pin fire there. And so they've got him strung up on the thing and then they've got the fire on and he's all scared by it, which is why he's moving around and he can't really get a good look at everything. And then something ends it with a bright white light that sends them into seizures. And then your poll comes on and turns stuff off. Right. Wait, no, no, and keeping in mind though, that and, and I, I guess I get where you're going,

like this is, this is the, the grown up version of tie in them to the tree and naked and hoes them down overnight. But like, then none of these characters are ever seen again, right? That's, that's, yeah, as the movie that is an issue. That is a pretty big hole in my theory. Yeah. That's the problem is that they ultimately get raptured by this bright light. And we learn all that we should explain to the audience because God knows they're more confused than they have to be at this point. This is all explained with the closing parentheses of the movie wherein dog the bounty is, we go back to that interview

that dog, the bounty hunter was doing at the beginning, where he explains what the hell we just watched. Right? Yeah. And it's important you speak to dog about and 200 about this because he wants spoke to that guy's wife once. So he's the perfect person to end up on what happened in the world. Why?

Why? So that now it's like a news show right there trying to tell us that this is found news footage that's been spliced in this camera and they're like all right well we've decided to interview dog the bounty hunter about they they would better interview her hospital bed the hospital I also love the idea that they found all this footage and put it together. And they're like, all right, let's keep the comic relief, though. It's from multiple cameras as well. So they've had to cut it together into time. So they put it, they put a timeline, a chronology they cut away to see what was happening at the same time elsewhere. They've really put

some work into this found footage, which they then apparently released to in a sort of have you seen these men. I think that's what it's meant to be. Yeah. Because the people at the church got the footage and then handed it to Doug, the bounty hunter, because he knew them and he he hunts bounties for a living so he can now hunt these men down and find them. Right. Which is why Doug, the bounty hunter's gotten into it, I think. Yeah. Also, you like in fairness to your theory. Thank you. The movie is saying that this was made by God made a YouTube show called Buck fever addicts to teach a lesson. One guy is what the movie is saying. Anything that says not that I'm going to give you a point for. Yeah, no, that's true. That's true. Your theory is less ridiculous. Batman gas is like scarecrow grass is more realistic than God. I will give you that's true. That's true. Your theory is less ridiculous. Batman gases like scarecrow grass is more realistic than God. I will give you that's correct.

What I live in this as well as as Doug the Boundtender explains it, he does say how the stuff you've just seen couldn't have been man-made, but it was a fictional film. We know it wasn't real and he's saying the stuff you just seen couldn't have been made. So I don't know that Doug the Boundy Hunter doesn't know it wasn't real. And he's saying the stuff you just think couldn't have been made. So I don't know that dog the bounty hunter doesn't know it isn't real. I think you think this is real. You took the words right out of my mouth, Marsh. My final theory is what I got on both is that dog the bounty hunter. Produced this movie and put it out into the world and does not know it is a movie. All right. All right. That. So that makes a ton of sense. I have to point this moment

out. And this is why it makes a ton of sense to me because at one point, the lady says, so what do you think happened? And he says, well, to speculate now, you'd have to be kind of a fool. And I'm looking at this guy and the hairdo and the unbuttoned shirt and the glasses over his false forehead eyes. And I'm like, yeah, wouldn't want you to look foolish. Because then he immediately speculates into what exactly exactly. And he's like, but I'm almost positive there was divine intervention. And then she asked him one more question. She's like, so yeah, okay, final question. Why?

And he's like, I don't know. Everybody keeps asking me that. I don't know. I don't know. Everybody keeps asking me that. I don't know. I don't know. God is good at YouTube. Yeah. Well, here's his answer. I think God is showing someone something or maybe more than one person.

Yeah. God's got it. This film basically ends. It basically ends with these guys fucked around and played a prank, which accounts for like 99% of all of it, but then there was this really bright light, which could only have been God. That's Doug's basic summary of this, because bright light is impossible for people to make.

All right, and there are films I fall asleep during that have ended less abruptly and made more sense than the end of this. I'm gonna pop this up so, but they're now, yeah, I guess that makes sense, but this, I watched the whole thing and it made no sense to it. All right, so I had this question written in already, but I think it's even more pertinent given all

of these new theories that are floating around. So I want to try to finish off by examining this from the perspective of its intended audience. So imagine that you're a devout Christian so much so that you watch this movie non-ironically. And you've got a buddy who's maybe backsliding in his commitment to Jesus, your Lord and Savior. According to what you've learned from this movie, what should you do? Oh, you handcuff him to a playground. Fucking with a hose, right? Strip him, cuff him and hose him. The three step solution to any problem.

Guys, strip him, cuff him and hose him is already taken. And I have marked it. Coffin strip him and Hosem. But strip him. Coffin and Hosem.gov. Yeah. No, that's the site for get redirects to the CIA. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. And of course, if anybody would like to hear more from Mars, be sure to check the show notes for links to his other shows, Mars, thank you so much for hanging out with us again. Thanks, Tommy guys. Always fun. Always fun. And while that does it for our review of Hunter's Creed, that's not going to do it for the

episode just yet, because we still need to lure you back next week. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. Well, Noah, you are off for your birthday next week. And when the cat turns 45, the mice will play. So he and I will be reviewing the extremely Christian movie. Okay. Drive angry starring Nicholas. Oh, so I'm going to make cage voice on my birthday. Damn it. All right. Well, I'm not sure how I feel about that, but with that to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 280

and I do a merciful close once again, a huge thanks to Michael Marshall and a perhaps even huge attention to the Patreon donors to help make the show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash god awful and thereby earn an access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help it done by living a five star review and by sharing the show and all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows.

This is Gating A The Acitation Needed D&D Minus and the Scepticrade Available Wherever Podcast Lip. If you have questions, comments or cinematic suggestions, you can email god awful movies at gmail.com, legal services for this podcast are provided by the law, if this is a PN Routaurus, Tim Robbins, and Takes Care of our social media, our theme song was written and performed by Ryze, not even able to draft some Mars. All other music was written and performed by our audio engineer, Morgan Clark, and was used with permission.

Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen, right? Neili Bosnick, I'm No Illusions, promise to work hard to earn on the truck next week, until then, we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. The Candlestore guy admitted that the whole thing got away from him. Dog the Bounty Hunter is still unclear whether this was actually documentary and is still out there looking for day. Bambi would go on to become the great prince of the 4th. Nobody ever got attacked by a demon at board game. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He thraped a guy in prison. More than you may need that out of context. Completely context. Is the context full of that? Don't ask questions. Unless you know the answer, basic lowering. All right. Interstitial 1B.

I know Morgan, but that's how he's got it listed. All right, Merch is redneck voice needs to come back. That's absolutely from the old lass. The seat of a pencil. It's kind of Southern, but also old West as well. It's great. Yeah. Sorry. A little bit Italian like spaghetti Western.

Yeah. Italian. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a thunderstorm LLC copyright 2021 all right reserved.