God Awful Movies - 295: Roe v Wade

Episode Date: April 13, 2021

This week, guest masochist Andrew Torrez joins us for a skeptical review of Roe v Wade, the new anti-abortion propaganda flick from the people that brought you nothing ever before or ever again. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Check out more from Andrew on Opening Arguments or Clean Up on Aisle 45 Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Oh my god, the arguments are so bad right? Like so at one point one of the students is like only fanatics are against abortion. He goes, oh, is Mother Teresa a fanatic? And of course, of course, it's absolutely. He's like, what about the Dolly Lama? It's like, he's the fucking Dolly Lama. He's the definite. You mean the guy who wears his ceremonial robe who was chosen at birth because he has the pootest soul within his eyes?

That guy? Yeah, I'd say he was. What? Super into his thing, man. God awful. Movie. Movie. Movie.

Movie. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be Fred Heathen, right? He's welcome back. Thanks Noah. Pass by the way. Okay. Yeah. So I get intro jokes. Fuck that. That's fair. A lot to get to and sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad Freddy like Bosniala. How are you this fine afternoon, sir? I'm amazing. Noah.

Are you really? I've broken our lawyer. And he's a member of return from when C came. All right. And speaking of that, yeah, exactly. Also joining us this week is our special guest massacres. You'll know it from the opening arguments podcast. He is Andrew Torres.

Andrew, welcome back. Yeah. I thought I was going to be mad when last week you had Thomas on and demoted me from, you know, co-host to, I don't know, interview subject on my own fucking show. I've all forgotten that. I am just, I'm at, I don't know, interview subject on my own fucking show. I've, I've all forgotten that. I am just, I'm at, I'm at 11 out of 10 on rage and I'm never coming back. Yeah, no, that's, that was the whole point of this movie was to distract you. I did.

Were you introduced Thomas or just Thomas introduced you? How's it work on that show? Andrew, the other guy on the show is the talent. Okay. Like it's the host of the talent. That's the other role. Okay, I just, you know, I made Thomas think I was giving them something. Oh, okay. All right. So tell us, Heath, other than Andrews, Ega, what will we be breaking down today?

You watched Roe V Wade. It's the story of a Christian movie not realizing they can't win in the end when they're doing the story of Yeah, until we get Roe v. Wade to in Yeah, no, it was it was such a weird like Shardin Freud an advanced kind of a feeling throughout the movie. Yeah, it ends and they try. It's the best of a feeling throughout the movie. It ends and they try. It's the best. We'll get to it. Yep.

But, but, and another thing, and Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love anti-abortion propaganda, but you miss the sportsmanship and grace of LeBron James, you will love this movie. It's the sun was in my theocracy the movie. And Andrew obviously at at its heart at least this is a courtroom drama and will obviously get to all the legal shit They fucked up along the way, but is there like one most egregious fuck up that stands out to you Let's see all of the legal stuff is in an infinite way tie for courts don't work that way. But what's super weird is that the movie apparently doesn't seem to know how to count.

Right? Two, three. Yes. Like, I did, like it shows us two other judges sitting on the bench and then says, winky lady judge just made stuff happen. Am I right? Yeah. And then, and then it does the same thing later with the Supreme Court. It's, it is baffling to me.

So. Yeah. Numbers. Yeah. Yeah. No, I look at, we brought you on for your legal skills, but also basic math. I didn't know when we set out that we were going to need your basic math as well. All right.

So speaking of which, is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for me? The best of me the worst at? I would know. I would best worst constitutional law class. Oh, whatever could you me? Yeah. First of all, Joey Lawrence. Yeah. Yes. Yes. I'll fuck yourself. It took me out of the movie the whole time. I was like, Joey Lawrence

is trying to tell me about constitutional law right now. But I've been in a bunch of constitutional law classes. Andrew, I imagine you've been in a bunch of, probably more than me. A few. Yeah. A bunch of con law classes. Do they ever, is there one unit like, is there an entire semester that you've ever had where the students say why they think abortion is cool and the professor is like baby killer over and over for a semester. Well, spoiler, that's not a con law class. Look at there. But no, the let's go around the room and be outraged by stuff. It's not a key part of the legal curriculum. I never had that unit, but you know, my education wasn't as complete.

Okay. You know the bag of rice scene and it man. What if he had lost all of those people? That's the class turn. Oh, God. It's moving. Oh, so speaking of Joey Lawrence, I was going to go with best worse gamma. Who's who?

Yeah, right? Joey Lawrence, I was going to go with best worse gamma who's who. Yeah. Right. So in addition to Joey, we get John Voight, Corbin, Birds and John Schneider, the Pock Markey brother from the goonies, like the only people missing are Kevin Sorbo and Steven Baldwin. And from what I read, they were originally cast as Supreme Court justices before they decided that this was too much cited for them. Steven Baldwin was confused. I said, wait, wait, those cake case orbs, they had to have, okay, so I guess case orbs would have been wizard white, but why?

Kevin Sarphos, like, look, I'll get hit with a car at the end of God's not dead and convert to Christianity at the last second to please an audience, but this movie's bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because like, honestly, I think it's because they looked at it and said, you know, look, I still have at least a snowball's chance in hell of being in a Hollywood movie. So no. And see, I was going to go with best worse game, who's not.

This movie has cameos, but Tommy Laren, Mike Lindell, Roger Stone, and my favorite and the use of 23 point font in my notes, a gay, hebophile, my low, you know, Paul. Oh my God. And the acting in this movie is so bad that you just don't even notice when he is not in the, you know,

you notice Roger Stone. Well, that's, and Tommy Leran. Yeah. Oh, and by the way, according to those same media reports that I was reading about K-Swarps

and Stephen Baldwin, apparently an Anthony Scaremucci cameo was planned, but then he became a persona non grata in the GOP. Oh, well, my best worst is best worst Ferris Bueller impersonation. So look, I don't want to spoil this cinematographic masterpiece. But the voiceover protagonist is basically like if Deadpool was fascinated by the protocols of the elders of Zion instead of Spider-Man. Yeah, it's bad. It's real bad.

And it's so verbose. I've never met a more verbose voiceover. And constantly reminding you that like, oh, and I was lying about that too. You can trust me now as the narrator for this movie. But literally everything I set up until 17 seconds ago was total bullf**king. Yeah, exactly.

Counting that. The actors in the movie have to wait for the voiceover to finish multiple times. You see them being like, oh, yeah. because the goddamn writer director star realized there were scenes he wasn't in and he's like, I like my voice in a few of those. So, all right, well, it's gonna take a lot to revisit this entire fucking movie. So we're gonna need a minute, but we'll be back in a flash with all the voiceover telling

you what you just saw that is. Roe V. Wade. Hi podcast listener, I'm Eli Bosnik. And I'm your excuses for not going to therapy. Uh, and I'm here to tell you about better help. Psh, better help. What's that? Well, better help provides professional counseling done securely online. Professional counseling, you don't need that.

You just need to fresh air. You're fine. I mean, fine. Maybe, but you also might not be fine. And that's when talking to a mental healthcare professional can be really important. Well, I bet that helps us and have the right counsel for you though, just that just means they'd be probably just have ones to hate you.

Actually, better help has a broad range of expertise available, which may or may not be locally available in many areas. So if you need a counselor who's secular or trans affirming or sex work positive, they can provide that. Well, still, if you don't like them, I bet you're stuck with them forever, like legally. No better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches. So they make it easy and free to change your

counselor if needed. Oh, wow. That's, that's really great. But still, you can't afford therapy. I bet that costs like a million, $1,000,000 or something. Actually, BetterHelp is more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available. Visit betterhelp.com slash awful.

That's better H-E- E L P and join over one million people who've taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and God awful movies listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash awful. Oh, I guess I gotta go. Huh, looks like I'm out of excuses. What about you? Andrew!

Andrew, thanks for coming. Yeah, man, I appreciate you hopping on for this review. Yeah, no problem, guys. Happy to be here. Yeah, I think you're really gonna contribute a bunch of really important information. Yeah, yeah, look, the actual history about Roe v. Wade is seriously fascinating and needless to say,

this movie, right, not about thee v. Wade is seriously fascinating. And needless to say, uh, this movie, but not about the court stuff. Yeah. Wait, wait, what? No. I mean, I guess you can talk about that a little bit too. I was wondering if you could help us more with our side of the script. Yeah. Your side of the script. Yeah. Like when we're doing the review, can I say why hasn't Jamie Kennedy killed himself yet? I mean, you know, that's, that's, that's not nice, but legally, you can say that. Cool, cool, cool. Good to know. So follow up. Can I say seriously, Jamie Kennedy, we know you're listening, your life peaked at the movie scream. If you kill yourself and mention this podcast in your note, everyone will be sorry. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. The more specific you get that the less comfortable. I can't wait. I can't be vague.

Hidden that how about this? Can I send Nick Loab a bottle of bleach with a note that says, if you drink this on Facebook live, you might be remembered for something other than suing to get your comeback from Sophia Vergara. I got no one really like, I, no, you definitely can't do that. I didn't think so. I'm a little bit disappointed that I've got to tell you it's the mailing, right? The mailing is the product across the lines. Lots of things with the product. Okay.

Well, then I have a bunch of notes I need to be right for the review of that. Yeah, me too. I'll tell you, send it to cancel the package pick up. Yes. Wait for that. Oh, okay. Ha. Ha.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to start off in 1985 with our protagonist abortion man getting interviewed by the Washington Post eventually he'll get a name and it'll be Bernie but I have him as abortion man through most of my notes.

And this interview is insane. The interviewer is like, so when you murder a baby, is it, is it cool? Like do you like it? He's like, yeah, man, I'm a huge fan. I look what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. He's like, does your father, he's like, nope, does not bother me.

Life-lust tissue fucked that little bastard. Well, but really? Yeah, right, right. He pulls that, but have you ever thought about it like, not on though? And he's like, oh, fuck, not on though. Wow. Shit, this is a moral fucking dilemma now.

And to prove how stupid this movie is, this interview is supposed to take place, host his conversion to pro life baby saver. Yeah. So he forgot for a second that he's pro life baby saving. And then the guy was like, really? I thought you were in a different point in the timeline at this point in the movie and Nick Loeb's like,

shit, right. I mean, a different point in the timeline. They add the fucking subtitles in post. I don't know what you were in a different point in the timeline at this point in the movie and Nick Loeb's like, shit, right. I mean, a different point in the timeline. Yeah. They add the fucking subtitles in post. I don't know what you're ready. And this is where we should point out that this entire movie will be based on Dr. Bernard Nathanson's book, Aborting America, which he wrote after converting to Catholicism and becoming anti-choice.

Yeah. It is filled with a series of demonst Malai's, many of which will be repeated in this movie, but the voice of this movie, before we get started, let's just point out, the voice of this movie is a guy who says, I was a professional liar and self-aware murderer of babies. but now I am a moral authority. Yeah, but yeah, you can totally. Yeah. So now we get that voice over, right? This voice over kicks in. It will irritate us throughout this movie, but it starts off with all them damn feminists in the damn 70s.

This movie's position is that the women's liberation movement of the 1970s was too far. Yes, yes, yeah, I'd wear it seemed to. It's 38 seconds in and I'm out, right? Like it did because because again, remember like the message that the evil people who wrote and produced and made this movie what to tell you is like, oh, Roe v Wade was like, the court was kind of puff puff at the time. If you know what I'm like, it was the 70s. Who knows what the, we were all wearing bell bottoms. It was crazy. Instead of, you know, Roe v Wade was a relatively uncontroversial standard application of conventional jurisprudence at the time

72 yeah Well, and so he's telling us that it was all those damn women in the 70s and then we're seeing this weird ass footage We've got women marching for their rights with ominous Music behind it that's completely out of place and then there's like a voice over in the background Who's basically telling us that at the end of the shift, abortion doctors all have to juggle the fetuses and whoever drops first has to eat theirs. It's yeah.

Okay, sorry. I know like Noah's exaggerating maybe a little bit, but I think literally this was said by the VO at one point, 12 year olds get abortions in public school. Yes, that's happening. Yeah, followed by, they put the baby on the table and they ask the parents whether they want it to live or die. Yes.

I mean, so my takeaway was better funding for public schools than? Like, is that, are you being in? Yeah, I don't know about your guys' school nurse, but she would just give you two aspirin and let you light up in the back row. And then, okay, so, and then on the assurance that they are not lying, this is based on true shit.

We were wind the clock to 1949. If you're doing the math at home, yes, that is three minutes into the movie flashing back now to three different God damn decades. This is the chess wisdom scene. Oh, okay, wisdom. No, we're just saying wisdom. Okay. So, all right, I looked at this chess board.

The white side has two white bishop. Oh, nice. Sure. I mean, okay, maybe, maybe that, like that's advanced. Maybe that is what wisdom, like that. I can see that being helpful. Yeah, that's when you get King. It's really a big deal.

He's playing chess against his dad. And when I say the protagonist is playing chess against his dad, I do not mean that he's eight, right? He's 25, right? And does not realize that it's a bad idea to move your queen one squared diagonally away from upon. Yeah. This is his first game of chess.

Like maybe start with hungry hungry hippos. Okay. Okay. But Andrew abortion. So maybe you should. So. Yeah. So and then we cut for it.

So he, like, you know, he's trying to outwit his dad, but his dad is using chess to teach him an important life lesson. And of course, dad ultimately wins. And then we cut to abortion man in his first love. She's like pregnant apparently, but they get into the scene in the weirdest possible way because we see the checkmate and then we immediately cut to her looking at him going, how could I have been so stupid? And it's just like, did you make a bad chest? She's mad. She's dating a guy who would fall for a corner.

Yeah, I get it. It was all been there. It seemed like a perfectly reasonable reaction. Yeah, well, really, it was pretty dumb. But she needs an abortion. If only a abortion man was nearby, right? Also, whatever tech they use to young up Nick Lowe's face for this scene, they should get a refund and some kind of like medical malpractice loss.

And hate crime notification. Look at the side shots of Nick Lowe here are like two thirds of the way to see Thomas Howell in the soul. It's like this. Yeah. This would not get you elected governor of Virginia today. Okay. I feel like they like hacked into the computers they used for that Will Smith versus Will Smith

movie. And they're like, damn, we can still use this right? Yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ. So yeah. And then so, but what happens in the story is he sends this woman that he loves off to get an abortion like a back alley abortion. And then so what happens in the story is he sends this woman that he loves off to get an abortion, like a back alley abortion, and then she dies.

But the movie is coy about whether or not she, like, right? Like he picks her up and she's all bloody and he's like, and that was the last time I ever wanted that to happen. Like what to happen, guys? Are we, you don't want to say dead woman in your movie? You don't want to. I didn't even catch that she died. I thought it was just like a really weird choice

for an acting moment where he's like, okay, so I see you're back from the abortion that you got in an alley. I hope it went okay. I'm gonna carry you across the threshold into our house. I'm gonna crazy, crazy physical bit. And we watched this for a second.

And the movie's like, yeah, that's weird. That's weird. We better fade out. We're going to fade out. If only this had been more illegal, wait, what side are we on? Yeah, Jesus. Yeah, right. Okay.

So, but then we get him graduating from medical school so that we can, you know, gas realize that the hypocritical used to forbid abortion specifically. I, well, doesn't, you know forbid abortion specifically. Well, does it? No, no, no, no, it's not. Right. It says specifically, like, I will never provide a pestery for a DIY abortion to him. Okay, but then maybe give like a real one where you do it. That would be great.

A pestery, that's that like, feral pig from South America. Fox a passery. Sorry. Chupa cobra. It's like, but yeah, man, like, look, we've updated the hypocritical several god damn times now. And again, right? Yeah. You this is 1949. The fact that we used to talk about the abortion leatherman tool doesn't really apply.

I'll not unbalance the patient's humors. You know, we don't talk about this enough. How are we doing our patient's humorous? When bleeding my patient, yeah, right. So yeah, but after we get that scene, he's like, but I'll tell you the true story of the legalization of abortion. And then the title falls with all but a goddamn thunder clap right do do do do Roe V Wade so we okay now it's New York City we're back in 1970 and I look the movie has not actually said the words abortion was a Jewish plot but that is precisely what they have spent the last six minutes setting up, right? And they pulled the trigger on it. That was the working title of the movie right now. Yeah.

Exactly. They had to change it in the last second because somebody got mad, some producer, but that was what they were doing. Yeah. And the voice acting that will be throughout the rest of the movie will make it clear that the script was not changed before that title was strong. No. Yeah.

Yeah. Cause this is the scene where we meet Jamie Kennedy playing Larry Sumpmer and other the. Nadler. Yeah, Nadler. And we also meet Betty Friedan, the head woman at the time. The queen of feminism herself. I'm sorry. This is the only positive thing I'll say in the next like eight hours.

But I kind of like the Betty for Dan storms into the men's only club bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was great. Yeah, she walks into this fancy hotel in New York City and they're like men only in the Oak Room and she's like, yeah, fuck your face and why is that in the Oak Room? And she's supposed to be like a bad character

and I'm so happy about that. Exactly, right, that's the problem is that she, yeah, right, yeah, love this character. Oh, she's evil, Right. Okay. We as the audience are supposed to be like, she heard the rules, the way you're meant to. Very long tradition. Don't respect the society. At all. So yeah. But so the Jewish cabal that wants to legalize abortion so they can drink the blood of the babies meets up with Betty Friedan. And now we're seven minutes in the movie. It's time to smear Margaret Sanger a bit. It's been a while. Oh, okay. If I were deciding a movie to piss off Andrew, I would not go as broad with this Margaret Sanger attack. It's a fairly ever giving a speech in front of a burning cross.

giving a speech in front of a burning cross. It, it, okay. All right, all right, okay. So, a couple of things. First, the only true thing in this entire bit that's coming up is, yes, a white woman in the 1920s used the word negro, okay? Yes. So did every other person on earth, right? She also did, by the way, open up birth control,

but not abortion as this movie will itself concede an hour from now. Yeah. She opened up birth control clinics in poor black areas. But then we see Margaret Sanger in front of a burning lowercase T, giving a speech that says, you know, the Negro breeding is out of control. And it sounds

really super bad. And you're thinking, did they just make up the speech? No, they did not make up the speech. Really? No, real. So Margaret Tangerine, she wanted to collect all the black over for her necklace collection. And that was like a real thing. Well, what they omitted, maybe a slightly salient detail, is that these were not market sangres original words. She was in fact quoting from WAB Du Bois. Wow. And possibly, I mean, I guess now they're going to go with plagiarism for Roe v. Wade too

when they were going to. Look, like we can't overly apologize for the like terrible views that people had in the first half of the 20th century. Margaret Sanger absolutely was steeped in the social Darwinism that like was big among the intelligentsia at that time. So was WB Dubois. Anti-abortion liars then put those two things together and say Margaret Sanger was on a secret crusade to euthanize the blacks. As this movie will lie, to reduce their population to zero because she is a racist genocidal monster, it was the exact opposite.

Yes, Margaret Sanger worked with civil rights leaders who were concerned as in the WB Dubois quoted again, like, I don't want to be defending this because I'm not a eugenicist, but his concern was white people have access to birth control and are planning the future of their children and we are not right. And Margaret Sanger wanted to open up that opportunity. That's where the organization is called planned parenthood to poor and to black people because she was incredibly pro equality. It was an unbelievably progressive stance at the time. And now time to open up the second bottle of blood pressure pills. All right. So yeah, but we back out of that flashback that little doodly to and we're back in this restaurant where Betty eventually agrees to join in the evil Jewish conspiracy along with Larry abortion man and Chubby lawyer guy

to legalize abortion and make a fortune and I want to point out that they can't even make it through the Betty for dancing without being like well Betty didn't want to join, but then we told her all the popular feminists were going to be there. Exactly. You know, like a woman. Yeah. He's like, all right, well, if you're not going to do it, we'll get glorious thine and Bella absig your sworn enemies. Right.

Yes. Exactly. No sense. But they butter up. They're like, you're the best angry lady, the best. We want you specifically. Yeah. But so after they've sufficiently mansplained it, Betty joins their efforts and we cut

to the first conference for the National Association to repeal abortion laws and we start with will become a running theme of this movie, which is that virtually all the walk in talks in these people's lives take place in some kind of room or street full of screaming chanting people. Yeah, which makes really little sense when you consider that this is supposed to be a narrow meeting. So they're protesting themselves. Yeah.

They're narrow. Do we all just want to get up and shout with our science to before we start? Yeah. Everybody's rabble, rabble, rabble. Yeah, right. Exactly, right. Exactly. Exactly. But they're rambling specifically for abortion on demand, right? Like HBO one. Do you remember that? Just like that was a portion. Amazon

premium. Yeah. I want to watch God's ill fight King Kong. And I want to kill my baby. And Bernie's going like, but, but we shouldn't have abortion on demand. Can't we just legalize it in cases of rape and, and a threat to the women's health? And Larry's like, no, more dead babies for our Jewish rituals. The money, baby, the money. Exactly. So, okay. So then we got to Bernie's sitting at home. He's watching the shitty ass little

TVs. They had back when America was great. And this is where we first meet his wife. His his his wife was Bernie married to Jacqueline Smith in 1973. His wife is an 11. I mean, like, wow. Yeah. Oh, kind of made you want to go out and abort a few babies. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Forget the money, but you know, the brunette from Charlie's Angels, I'm all over that. Yeah. And she asked him like one question, just kind of like a little skeptical about his project.

And he's like, you being a cunt about my awesome feminist thing. The men in this movie are just awful at all moments. So, but well, I guess not outside of this movie too. Yeah, true. All right. So, but then on the news, we, this is so great. On the news, we see that New York passed a law legalizing abortion, but only after some confusing vote changey shit that they don't explain, but makes out really sinister. changey shit that they don't explain, but makes out really sinister. Yeah. All right. All right.

I looked up this vote changey thing because, of course, I did, right? Here's what really happens. All right. This guy, Earl Bridges, was the Republican majority leader in the New York Senate. And he was basically dead. And there was scheduled introduced by Democrats, a resolution to repeal the state's restrictions on abortions. And he was going to like Mitch McConnell that thing, right? But then he decided, no, no, better than that, let's let it come to a vote. It'll lose. And I can fundraise off of this,

right? Mm-hmm. So he changes the vote. And his strategy was, right? Because, like Mitch McConnell, he was not good at his job. His strategy was, well, I'm pretty sure the other Catholic Democrats here are going to vote with us. And if we have the version that comes up for a vote, be the one without the amendments in it, right? Without any restrictions, push comes to shove. They'll vote no.

Spoiler they voted yes. So the movie I'll let you describe how the movie has Earl Bridges respond to this. The New York Times report that he sat in his chair and cried. No, yeah, that's it. Oh good. Good. His mom comes over with orange slices. Or all. Or all. Well, in the movie he cries. Mm-hmm. But, um. So this is a, this is a Congress. So this is a New York state congressman, right?

Mm-hmm. And that happens and then he's like, I would like to read a fetus poem. I'm a congressman. I have an anti-abortion one-man show I would like to perform. And it does that forever. We watched this for a few full minutes. As far as I can tell, not a real thing, not I know why they thought this would make him

look better than crying because his strategy lost. I don't know, but not a real thing. No. No. To be clear, this poem, one man show, is first person from the perspective of a fetus, right? That's what he's doing. And I was like, oh my god, he's fucking doing this. I honestly thought he was going to start screaming and mimeing a fetus getting aborted at his podium. Oh, my head's getting a squished out. Someone brings over like a giant cardboard tube. That was not out of the question,

and he walked right up that line in the movie. The last line of his little fucking blast assist poem was today, my mommy killed me. Today, also this actor, he obviously got himself crying at like second, third line of this model, which has seven more minutes. So by the seven minute, he's like, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Nothing to incite my sympathy more than a 60 plus year old white man flanked by two other 60 plus year old white man Crying about a baby that doesn't exist All right, so now it's time to meet Dr. Mildred Jefferson the first black woman to graduate from Harvard Medical School and according to this movie anyway at least very anti-abortion. Oh my God. Also known as Stacey Dash's After Life Punishment.

Yeah, this is Stacey Dash from Clue. Stacey Dash. She's garbage politically. It's all worked. Just like Kelsey Grammer. Yeah, she's been auditioning to be Candace Owen Stuntdouble for the last year. And she's a terrible person with terrible ideas, but I would not wish this

movie or this part on her in a million fucking year. If I were some part of intergalactic court and they were like, weren't you like Stacy dashed, have to play the part and say the thing she does in this movie, I'd be like, no, man, can't we just go with like fire lizards or something? Honestly, this movie was so shitty. It made me feel sympathetic for Stacey Dash, who's the fucking worst because they make her say all these ridiculous, horribly racist things. She's pretty much the only person of color in the movie. It's so bad.

Yeah. So she's meeting with a priest and a woman who has an anti-women's rights organization, I guess. I've run a pro-life women's group. We mostly don't do things. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And they have this bizarre conversation that manages to be so racist and so sexist and so unaware

of those two facts. Yeah. And there is, there is a literal, so the priest here who, you know, I just have his cartenal biggles throughout the rest of my history. But he says like, well, you're not at all like Rosa Parts. Are you fucking kidding me? And again, Stacey Dash does not turn around and punch him in the dick. Like I dare you to try that to any, please, look, please do not take this advice for those podcast, okay?

And by the way, so I have to point out the three people on screen now are such terrible actors that for most of the rest of the time, they're going to be the three people on screen now are such terrible actors that for most of the rest of the time, they're going to be when they're on screen together, they'll be with Joey Lawrence and he will outshine them like the goddamn sun next to a candle. Absolutely. That's how they are. So fucking bad. Yeah, you can almost see the like stage hands holding up the signs that say, please do not look directly into the camera. And that's it.

Yeah, stop reading this out loud. Don't move your lips while you read this. Yeah, the problem was a bunch of those stage hands quit in the middle of a shot. Yeah. That's a true story about the book in this movie. Is it because we said you're no Rosa Parks when we like? Yeah. Now, that one definitely had walkouts. Apparently they had walkouts constantly in the middle of scenes. So literally day one, this movie lost its director and its assistant

director. Both of them left on the first day. So the writer and producer had to step in who had neither any directing experience whatsoever and had to do this. And nobody wanted to help, right? Even the, even the people who stayed were just like, man, no, you tell me how you want the fucking shot set up. That's your job, motherfucker. Are you gonna do it for you? Oh, no. This is a union gig.

So I can't walk off unless you don't give me my 15 minute lunch break, but I sure as fucking not going to assist in direct use, sir. So okay. So Dr. Milner had, she doesn't like the Rosa Parks line, but the priest follows her down into the subway and she gives this amazing delivery of her. I do what I do on principle like Don Quixote. That one. Wow.

Wow. You really? You want to be Don Quixote in the scenario? A Gimztoll lot. I have in fact learned something from this movie. And that fact is, I've learned that Stacey Dash has definitely not read Don Quixote. No one involved with this movie has read Don Quixote.

Don Quixote is about a mentally ill person who nobody helps and then he runs his horse into a windmill and die. But to be fair, if someone were to put a gun to my hand and be like describe this movie, running your horse into a windmill, he's dying. He's pretty good. The horse takes you dash his career really out. But then the priest tries to do the first they came, boom.

But he eventually gets it wrong because you can't open with socialists when your audience would be like, that'd be awesome if somebody came for the socialists in the trade union. That's right. And then because this movie has no fucking self-awareness, this actor who again is not this character. He's a real person who got to vote in the last election. Looks at Stacey Dash who did not get to punch or pepper spray him and go, you know, this is just like slavery. Yep. Yeah. The white character said to the

black character. And Stacey Dash goes, are you bringing that up because I'm black? And he's like, yes, because you're black. Well, yeah. And now it's time for us to meet Robert Burn played by the incomparable Joey Lawrence. Okay. This movie contains Jamie Kennedy, basically rubbing his hands together with fetus blood while doing ju-voice, but I would argue no historical figure is worth serving this movie, then poor Robert fucking bird. Or maybe Malcolm X because Joey Lawrence is dressed like white Malcolm.

And it's ridiculous. All I know is I watched that James Bond movie where they had Denise Richards play the nuclear physicist. Remember that she was Dr. Christmas Jones. Yeah. And this was way less believable. That's all I have to say. We're going to talk about this.

These Richards thing later. Let me tell you something about the fucking Constitution, bro. Yeah. Okay. So he shows up immediately. The very first thing this character does is gives that dumbass out of context. Any society willing to give up liberty? Quote from Benjamin Franklin.

Every time, every time Joey Lawrence walks on to the screen, he will give an in-appasant quote, like, and I just, I need to know if this is in the script right if it's the writers who thought, oh, well, you know, brilliant law professors walk around and all they do is quote other people. Or if this was a jewelry, a Joey Lawrence internal note of like, hey, let's, let's punch up the script a little bit. I feel like my guy should be quoting somebody famous here. He would be really quoting these awesome memes that I saw on this right wing Facebook page before they took it down. Oh, God.

Yeah. No, but so but they're strategizing against how to fight abortion and what's amazing here is they keep talking about Dr. Nathanson abortion man and they're saying like they call him the abortion king. Oh, if they had if they had flash cut to his commercial, right? When he's like, come on down the dr. But not big and since house of a bunch of slashing prices, I'm gone crazy. And they end this scene.

I just a tiny thing, but I loved it so much. They end the scene in the most awkward way. They turned to Stacy Dash and they're like, hey, do you have any children, dr. Mildredson? And she's like, no, there's this pause right there just like, why would that be the last line of the scene? What, what, what the world? And then it just fades out. Yeah. I'm going to think that. Yep. I, I, so it's so awkward. I thought her line must be like

someone aborted them when I wasn't looking. That is the only dramatic resonance that could be in this movie. Um, no, we just fade from that. Then we cut to that phenomenal waste of prime real estate that is St. Patrick's Cathedral. Jesus Christ, I cannot look at that thing without trying to summon up a giant marshmallow Kaiju, right? Okay. So since they have placed this now in a specific diocese, let's just remind everyone that the good guys for the rest of this movie, we now know that during this time period, the

1970s, the diocese of St. Patrick's was actively covering up the rape and torture of hundreds of children. Yes. So that's the protagonist. Every time you see this priest in the rest of the movie, keep in mind he is either Fucking a kid or covering up kid fucking. Yes. Exactly. Exactly. And so we see them and then birdies V.O. Cuts in at this point and he says now we were all a bunch of prejudice motherfuckers us pro abortionist And we hated the fucking Catholic

I said and then the dialogue goes to you goes to this plucky pro life group, who is sort of our stand in protagonist here saying, yeah, it was just crazy. You know, how unfair is it to imply that it's the Catholics who are behind the anti-abortion movement? Now, to plan our anti-abortion movement, why don't we go in this giant Catholic church? Yes.

We can be with this Catholic priest who's gonna head up our organization. And by the way, I'm a Catholic fucking lawyer. Oh. He even says he goes like, look at this in the newspaper, whenever they talk about me, it's Catholic lawyer.

So it's like, you never see him identifying Jewish people like that. Do you know, I'm like, don't you though? No matter how many times I write letters and ask them to put it in brackets around their names So that I know I just I was like three parentheses at the beginning would just set it off for This movie just introduced dr. Mildred as the first black woman to graduate from ax

I mean, doesn't this script use the phrase, Oh, Jews more than the Koran? There's also this fantastic anti-religion moment by accident where he's like, we need action. And the priest is like, we're praying as hard as we can. And they're like, come on. That doesn't like real. So make us say it. He bulls a Jew gold bar with a swastika on it from behind the altar. How do you mean this stuff? Are we supposed to do this? And then I love this because they're having this conversation. The the fucking priest has this little melodramatic Oscar moment where he goes, where are all the little abortion headstones? Where are all the little abortion graves? Well, Texas, Italy, and the dollhouse yards, right? I don't know what people do, but there's a bunch of them.

And then Dr. Mildred cuts in and she goes, well, one thing I can say for certain, as a physician, I would know is that life begins at conception. And I'm like, what insight would being a position, give you on that? And Cardinal Biggles looks over and says, yeah, your dad was a, is a minister, right? And I just want everybody to understand for, for proper context. In the 1970s, that is not how that exchange went down, right? Stacey's dad would have been calling them like blood-drinking papers. And the priest would be yelling about how they, you know, desiccated the Virgin Mary.

Like, ah, right, right. They fought wars over that whole protest. Yeah, yeah. They were not big fans of each other. No. So, and then they, they're talking about, she's like, you know, but I know that life begins at conception. And then they're like, so does Dr. Nathanson.

She's like, who's that? And he's like, they call him the scraper. And I'm like, in the last fucking scene, they called him the abortion king. Pick a fucking nickname and stick to it, guys. Scraper king. Oh, there's a scraperist was right there. We should've used scraper.

Oh, damn. Can we take it? No, she's earning. That was the 70. God damn it. And then again, because apparently Dr. That was the 70. God damn it. And then again, because apparently Dr. Mildred's whole thing is to end the scenes in weird non-sacquaters.

She says at the end of this thing, she says, you know, it's cheaper to abort a baby than it is to keep it on welfare. And they're like, who are you talking to? At this point, my only working theory is that Stacey Dash had a heath and I S game where she was like, I get a dollar for every time my line is less than the scene. She was just an love. Some right wing talking point in the hope that Nick Logue kept it. All right.

So now it's time for Eli's favorite cameo, right? So birdies with his wife wrestling with the thought of opening his own baby murder clinic. But his wife does it one of the murder babies and he's like, here's how much money I would make in his, she's like, oh, well, murder some fucking babies. Yeah, absolutely. I didn't realize. And this again does cue my favorite scene. So first of all, before we even get to what happens, the music for this scene is a body. A body. A city on the move. So it's like Lucian Ethel eating fetuses off the end of the bear butt. It's going too fast.

It's so ridiculous. Yeah. Right. So he's going to London to learn how to be a super abortionist. He climbs to the top of a mountain. And that's where he meets my low yinopolis. Doctor my low yinopolis. Doctor, Doctor my low yinopolis channeling Neopatric Harris's Nazi doctor from Starship Troopers.

About to burst into song. He might as well be eating a ham sandwich with one hand and a Borten fetus with the other. The whole time his abortion sucking machine is making that still sucking on the straw even though there's no more soda in their sound. It's so good. Come on, if the camera had panned over to a guy drinking a big

up and my low was like, anyway. It's my favorite movie. Oh, Jesus Christ, this scene was amazing. He's listing the specs on this like, an industrial revolution abortion machine made invented, talking about horse power and pork. It's so ridiculous. He might as well slap the top and be like, you can fit 20 million dead babies in here.

Okay. All right. So that, oh God, okay. So we cut from there over the Planned Parenthood headquarters in New York City with the actual words. Here are the words we open this scene on. Dr. abortion is standing before another large group of doctors and he says, the fetus is then quartered. Yep.

And then you draw and quartered the fetus by using four little seahorse. We smushed the baby. We're not conscious repulsed. We're in the heart. Question, can we just like have the babies instead of quartering the baby? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're getting into like a King Solomon thing there. I feel like it's taking me. We're doing the quarters.

So, so I had to look up the speech. This is in fact a real speech with real words really spoken by Bernie Nathanson, the person whose mouth they have them coming out of 10 years ago after he became a pro life activist. Weird. Weird. Yeah. I'm sure it's just like that in real life. And by the way, this is also where he says that the last step

in the abortion is where you put all the pieces back together so that you do the little puppet show with them later. And then you corner the quarters with four tardigrades. It's adorable. Yeah. But so, but after he gets done with this little speech, they clear the room out and they let him know that they found the evil abortionist guys have found the perfect victim or test case for their abortion laws in Texas. Oh, yeah. And Julie McJewerson says, guys, just as an aside here, like, I kind of feel like we should

have twirly mustaches. Yeah. Like we do a snidely whiplash. By the way, can I call it moja? I know you guys are doing boja, but I'm really, like, moja hot in my mind. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay.

So we cut over to the plant parent hood and Dallas where they're, you know, they're talking about what a great test case they've got. They're like, oh, yeah. No, she's the awful. She's her runaway and alcoholic, a school dropout, a drug addict, a lesbian and everybody's like, awesome. That's great. That's a question. No, uh, did the word lesbian mean something different to the 1970s? But it does. It just, the fact that there's a pregnancy at the end of this is very weird.

Yeah, I know. I'm with you. So, but but oh yeah, yeah, and then this is also where they introduce us to those dumb old lady lawyers that plan parenthood recruited so that they could manipulate them and tell them what to do. Okay. This is fucking great. Okay, because like to take two of the lawyers who argue to row versus Wade and be like, nah, they were just taken their cues from Larry fucking Nate. Yes. Yeah. They might as well be like, I don't know, Wonka really called the shots behind the food pyramid. This is where we learn about how Jane Rowe got her name, right? So the point was, and I think this is the point the movie made by accident and didn't realize what was happening.

They're like, okay, so they decided to call her Jane Roe so that the good guys in our movie wouldn't threaten to kill her. Yep, right. Yeah. Weird. Fade out. Stacey Dash, say something stupid. So I'm still not over the lady lawyer bit, right?

Cause look, the movie does not insinuate. It flat out says, a lawyer can't get a job. Am I right? She must be the dumbest fucking thing on the planet. Yes. Right. And it'll be super easy for us to manipulate that is not what the movie implies. That is exactly what the, yeah, it's what it says.

Now, look, Linda coffee graduated the top of her goddamn class in 1968. Texas printed the score you got on the bar exam in the newspapers. And she got an 87, which was the second highest score in the entire state of God damn Texas. Okay. Then that's what got her a federal clerkship with Sarah Hughes put a pin in that. Whatever, silver medal, second place, boo. You know why Linda Coffee couldn't get a job in the law? I can guess. Cause law firms were fucking boys plums in the 1970s, and they openly discriminated against women,

and the Goddamn men who made this Goddamn horrible movie about how terrible feminism is, and the motherfuckers responsible for that injustice. Yes, right. But this movie will portray her as eating a lipstick when we meet her. It, it, it, you are not eat, ugh. Yeah. This popsicle is bad.

What do I do, Harry? Right, no, we'll get to it. We'll get to it. So, yeah, but first we have to head on down the aisle of hedonism where birdie and Larry are playing in their next move. So we plotted baby killing the whole country while sipping my ties and smoking cigars at a Caribbean layer. Oh, you know, I thought you were doing why I almost went with best worst

gotcha where they were like Larry madeadeller admits that he went on vacation Yes, yes, right not like with plant parenthood money Or smuggled like money anything he just went on vacations to the beach in this movie He's like hey, you're gonna tell me a person who enjoyed sunshine and sand cares about women. So yeah, and so this scene exists for no purpose but to do that, right? Because the only other things that happen is that Larry says, well, you need to tell him that life doesn't begin a conception, which we've already established is the thing he wants him to do. And for him to say that we need a villain and it should be the Catholics which we've already established as their villain

Right, so the old you think being communicated here is Beaches mother fuckers Yeah, because the evil plot they hatch in this scene is like yes, we'll blame the Catholics even though again This movie is admitted the Catholics are behind the anti-abortion movement and B That's not a bad thing according to this movie is admitted the Catholics are behind the anti abortion movement and B that's not a bad thing according to this movie. Nope. Oh, Jesus. Okay.

So now it's time for us to meet Jane Roe, right? It's a meat norma macorvey and she's meeting her lawyers at a pizza place. Yeah. And inexplicably Sarah Wettington, the other lawyer, also by the way, perfectly competent lawyer, is for some reason in the scene dressed as a Victoria and school mom. I was the day the costume department quit and they were just like quick to Halloween adventure. Old timey lady clothes.

Well, I love this moment too, because like Jane Row asked the two lawyers. She's like, well, so, hey, I want to get an abortion. Do you guys know where I can get one? And they're like, no, I can't help you there. And the voiceover cuts in to be like, they totally could have got her a fucking illegal abortion. They were lying mother fuckers. Yeah.

And this movie triples down on that. It's like they were so evil. They could have exactly pointed to her to Mexico on the flight because, you know, that's when, and I forget whether it was Sarah who got it or not, you know, one of the lawyers, it's later revealed had gotten her own illegal abortion done in Mexico. And I'm saying, thinking like illegal abortions are dangerous. The fact that the abortion laws in Texas were so restrictive, the young women would lie to their own lawyers about being raped, right? Like that's, she's not the one you should be

mad at your mother fuckers. Yeah. Right, right. Yeah. Cause then they say like she's like, you know, how did you get pregnant? She's like, I was raped. And the voiceover cuts in to say, that's bullshit too. She admitted later. She's a fucking liar. She wasn't raped. Wow. Yep. She lied because under the laws of the existing time, she would have a chance at an abortion in Texas. But of course that got snatched away from her. And the fact that they're like, oh, well, you know, because a lot of people know that Jane Rowe later on in her life because of the constant harassment she got from Christians changed her mind. It became money. It was money. She's paid and

then threatened on top of that. But like, they're trying to use this scene where her lawyers who are trying to get her help as a gotcha. They're like, yeah, she was a liar about being right. And then her doctor wouldn't give her a special underground chlorine bleach pill to take. What a bunch of assholes. Yes. Well, in fairness to the movie, these two lawyers explained abortion as just like peeling pepperoni off the top of a peak. And that's a real thing that happened, right, Andrew? Oh, yeah. Well, so that's another big part that they have to set up, right? They have to set up the idea that Norma had no idea that an abortion would kill a living fetus.

So she says, so like when they do the abortion, they just shove it back up into my ovaries until I'm ready, right? Something like that. And the lawyers are like, oh, something like that. Yeah, we just put it back up there and we're like, stay. Stay. To you. Yup, that's how we do it.

You put my baby into a time machine and then he goes back to the future when I'm ready. And that's hard to make a line. That's right. Fucks his mom. Yeah, whatever you say, Norma, how's that pizza treat me? Yeah, exactly. And then we flashed, so she's like, yeah, say, Norma, how's that pizza treat me? Yeah, exactly. And then we flashed, so she's like, yeah, no, I'll sign your lawyer papers. And then we cut immediately, like a second later, her having the baby going,

damn, those lawyers for lying to me and not get me an illegal Mexico abortion. This doesn't look like pepperoni at all. You fucking liar. Curse you. Curse you abortion liars. Curse you. Yeah, yeah, no exactly. The fucking movie just faulted the pro abortion side for the fact that Norma McCorvey had to birth her child.

So I need a minute to breeze into a bag. I don't know about anybody else, but we will be back after that with even more. Roe V Wade. Oh, we what about Lemaguante babo? Oh, oh, we have to code her. Yes. Great. Guys, what you doing?

Oh, we're planning all the restaurants. We're going to go to when we see each other. Yeah. So this place, the sock, everyone who goes there has to wear one sock. Well, like, like just one sock or do you have to like wear a specific sock? Both, obviously. Obviously, yeah. That sounds unpleasant and also has nothing to do with food.

What do you think they do with food? I'm going to enjoy the orange soup with the sock without wearing the sock. I'd be serious now. Come on, guys, if you want to eat delicious food, why don't you just try Hello Fresh? What? Hello fresh. Andrew, I was first. You heard me out first.

I was first. No, I was first. It was me. I have to adjudicate this. You guys have to stop asking me to adjudicate this. What are you even for then with? With, with, with Hello Fresh, you get fresh pre-measured ingredients and mouthwatering seasonal recipes delivered right to your door.

Skip trips to the grocery store and count on Hello Fresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. And that's why it's America's number one meal kit. Wow, that does sound good. So how does it work? Hello Fresh offers 25 plus recipes to choose from each week, from vegetarian meals to craft burgers and extra special gourmet options. There's something for everyone to enjoy with all recipes designed and tested by professional

shops and nutritional experts to ensure deliciousness and simplicity. I don't know Noah. That sounds kind of expensive. Actually, according to the Zagat dining survey, Hello Fresh is 28% cheaper than shopping at your local grocery store and 72% cheaper than a restaurant meal without sacrificing the quality. Yeah, that's right. Hello, fresh sent us a box to try and even I was impressed with the quality of ingredients as well as the simplicity of the recipes. And right now, you can go to hello fresh dot com slash awful 12 and use our code awful 12 for 12 free meals including free shipping. So I go to hellofresh.com slash awful 12 and use

code awful 12 for 12 free meals, including free shipping. That's right. All right, Noah, we're in. Nice. So we can forget about this place, the sock. No, no, no, no, no, no, I hear they have an appetizer that you can only see if you really believe in it. Ooh, I'm gonna get two of those. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, sure. However you're comfortable, no problem. Oh, geez, would you look at that set to 72 degrees? No wonder. Oh, 71. There we go. That will be much, much better. Right, right. So look, we are very excited to make a movie of the real story behind Rovey Wade. Mm-hmm. That's right. I was there for all the abortions of the 1970s.

So I know the real scoop of poop. For instance, me and Larry Nable, we just made up all the abortions statistics. Did you know that? Sorry, you made up all the abortions statistics. And people just printed whatever we told them. That's literally unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Limbrose, right? No, no, I mean, literally, I don't believe you. I feel like you can just Google those numbers.

But you see, if you Google it now, they're real. But when we made them up, they weren't real. You're saying the statistics you made up in the 1970s came true. Came true. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. But we were making so much money doing abortions that none of it made it. Right.

Okay. Well, this is a pro-life movie. So I think we can probably just make the whole movie based on that. Definitely. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Great. I'm sorry. Do you mind if I adjust the thermostat? Pro-life movies, so I think we can probably just make the whole movie based on that definitely yeah, totally now great I'm sorry. Do you mind if I adjust the thermostat it is freezing in here. I mean you just See this is your problem 71 degrees. This should be set to 72 Okay, that was what it was And we're back for more of this shit now it's time to meet Dallas district attorney Henry

Wade who did not get the memo apparently that he was supposed to be the good guy in this movie. I really appreciate them casting boss hog as Henry Wade here. Yeah, so his underlinger, whatever comes to him and says, oh, they're filing this abortion case and his job at this point in the movie is to just sit there and go abortion. And no shark is going to attack my beach, you know. Okay.

And the point of this is like, well, Rovers is weighed only made it to the Supreme Court because Henry Wade wasn't trying. And the sun was in his eyes. Right. Yeah. And also he was busy that weekend. Yeah. He said they're having a conversation,

well, this could never win. A borscht is baby murder. Yes, it's murdering a baby. Best being because you murder a baby during it, right? Murder baby. Yeah. And this begins the movie's inexplicable and entirely gratuitous assault on Syrahews, yet by the way,

first female federal judge in the state of Texas, right? They want to portray her as like some kind of crazy affirmative action hire, but let's see, like, um, graduated top of her class, GW Law Review, which she attended part time at night while working during the day as a police officer, and since it was 1919, they didn't give lady cops guns or badges or uniforms, and she lived in a fucking tent down by the river. I am not making any of this up. Her job was to track down suicidal runaways, which she did during the day while attending law school at night.

She commuted to school, and I wish I were making this up to in a fucking canoe. What? Yeah. So she graduated, right? She got the same law degree I did that took me three years in three years, right? Wow. While attending an hour and night and not sleeping, couldn't get a job as a lawyer because lady parts got herself elected to the fucking Texas House of Representatives for three consecutive

terms in the 1930s was then appointed to the state bench served as the first, first females comes up a lot in her autobiography, right? Served as the first female state judge in all of goddamn Texas for 25 years until John F. Kennedy appointed her to the federal bench. Oh, by the way, liberal icon John F. Kennedy, Sarah Hughes would be the only woman appointed to the federal bench during Kennedy's term. So I'm a little mad at her being portrayed as like that crazy winky lady lawyers. Yes, right. Yeah. And we'll get to it. But yeah, they make her into just sort of a

debts in this movie. Well, of course women can't law. Right. Right. Right. So we cut to the young lawyer arguing his case in Roe v Wade round one. And he's arguing that they don't have standing because the state already forced Jane Roe to birth her rape baby. So what does it even fucking matter anymore? Yeah. Come on. That argument wouldn't work in 1970.

It just works. Now. Yeah. Yeah. The movie is aware is more aware than the fifth circuit that it takes fucking forever to get the trial. At only nine months to have a baby. Am I right?

Isn't a great argument for you or side? Yeah. Yeah, but the movie is trying to portray it like he's just wiping the floor with these judges with his like awesome arguments, but the judges are such activists that they're just not hearing him at all. So again, sidebar true fact, the actual Roe v Wade legal team was so concerned that they would get homered at the district court level that they had an abortion doctor, a guy named Dr. James Halford joined to the case at trial to survive precisely this argument, right? Because the abortion doctor definitely has standing, because, you know, he's the one that could be arrested on the Texas log.

Okay. Interesting. They didn't mention that in the movie. We're not on that, huh? Then the fucking the pro abortion lady lawyer comes up and they literally have this judge this legendary liberal icon of a judge that Andrew was just telling us about wink at lady lawyer like I got John this one sister. Yeah, okay, I have a few questions about the law. Do judges and lawyers give like knowing glances and winks when their friends at the beginning of stuff? Does that happen a lot?

No. And in fact, like the most terrifying moments in my legal career have been when I've had to argue in front of, I fortunately, I never had an argument in front of the judge for whom I clerked on the Maryland court of appeals. He would have torn me a new one at oral argument, but like I have friends on the federal bench, and like they go out of their way to be impartial, which means you have to be twice as good. Yeah, I was about to. You don't do a wink. You do like what? You touch the ear. Yeah. You don't have a series of nonverbal signals like a baseball

beat. I got it. Yeah. So, but she comes up and she gives her like she at first, she's fucking up in the judges, keep like throwing her hints and better arguments and everything. But then eventually she gets around to her pro abortion speech. And it's of course, it's just the most anti-dynamic thing you can imagine because it's been written by a viciously anti abortion person. But then the crowd goes wild for it. And that's when the other just the most anti-dynamic you can imagine because it's been written by a viciously anti-abortion person, but then the crowd goes wild for it. And that's when the other lawyers know that they might be in some trouble. Right. They go for a air butt has just scored his first basket moment in their life. And so we cut to dismissive DA. and he's very upset that this other lawyer didn't

lawyer better, damn it. Okay. This scene is fucking amazing. They did not write it on purpose because this very serious like, I don't know, gentlemen. I think we could be interrupted constantly by this lawyer being like, fuck you, Kyle, you suck a fat dick. You fucking dead Kyle. You fat bitch. You fat. And again, in the foreground, they're just like, well, this might go to the third fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Well, there's also a moment here where the DA guy, he turns to one of his underlings and

he's like, you know, he's telling him to to dig up some dirt on this J And row, he's like, I need you to dig into the sex life of a teen runaway that we forced a birth of child I'm the good guy in this movie, dammit And we some dirt on that 15 God, docs the rape victim now, the good guy. Yes, that's what happens here. Yep. Yep Oh, and then we all but fucking star wipe our way to the Supreme Court, right? And then, you know, yada yada yada, it made it to the Supreme Court. Jesus Christ. Yeah. So we get justice, John Voight, having a conversation with about just

how politicized the Skotas is just then. They're, they're, they're, they're using court vacancies as political footballs. Can you imagine this is so crazy. Yeah, this whole conversation is like we should probably have the entire quarter nine because at this moment, they had seven and Nixon was trying to get two more in and they're, they're talking about that. They're like, yeah, we need not, we'd never just like to lay that for over a year. That would fuck up everything. We need to have a full framework. All right. Strap in. Okay. So, so the movie says it's the liberal Senate that's denying Richard Nixon his judges. You will not be surprised to learn that is not remotely true. You did have two open seats in the fall of 1971 on the Supreme Court. They're like a month.

It for like three months. Yeah. You go black and adjust as Harlan the second, right? Nixon's first two choices to replace those guys were people I had to look up on Wikipedia. Okay. The first guy I swear I'm not making this up was a guy named Herschel Friday. Great name. He'd never been a judge. He was in private practice.

Okay. It looked like you can go from private practice straight to the Supreme Court, but they're probably going to be interested in, okay, what kind of cases have you done? Right? And Hershel listed number one on his Senate application. And I swear to God, I am not making this up. His most prominent case, he said, well, there was that time when I argued for segregation on behalf of the Little Rock Arkansas School district four years after the Supreme Court decided Brown versus Board of Education. Almost a really good with Excel. And I can juggle. So so unsurprisingly, the ABA rated him as not at all, fuck qualified at probably a racist asshole, right? And Nixon had to pull his nomination.

The second person, this is a little bit more complicated, but was a California judge named Mildred Lilly, who on the one hand, the foremost constitutional expert on the planet Lawrence tribe has described as quote, both right wing and stupid. But again, also rated not qualified by the ABA, right? So Nixon pulled those two nominees after a couple of months and replaced them with conservative Louis Powell, who was confirmed 89 to one. And Uber conservative William Reckwitz.

Yeah. That William Reckwitz, who was confirmed 68 to 26, even though he said, and I quote, I realized that it is an unpopular and unhumanitarian position for which I have been excoriated by my liberal colleagues. But I think plus CV Ferguson was right and should be reassuring. Sorry. Yeah. The, the separate, but equal.

Yeah, that, right. So, so those are word for word. Things that William Rank was said that, you know, cost him 26 votes to be on the Supreme Court. So the idea that you're retroactively making this into a Mitch McConnell, the liberals won't give us our guy. Like, yeah, the liberals gave you the guy who said, press me, we're fark as I was right. Right? Like, I am 100% positive that if we'd had Milchrid Lilly instead of William Ridwiss, that the direction, you know, the arrow of morality

would have gone us straight up from that moment. Yeah. Now, but the other purpose of this scene, of course, is to show that Justice Suburger, that's John Void's character, doesn't think this roe v. Wade thing is going to end up being very important. They don't have to delay that for more justice. It's going to not matter. Come on. I wrote my notes. Yeah, whatever. Supreme Court Justice, the J. Breck. So all right. So now we get that amazing not con law class that he was talking about, right? So we got the Fordham University where Professor of very legal stuff, Joey Lawrence is going to just bitch about abortion and his students

for a few minutes. And to be clear, it's a constitutional law class, but like Robert Bern was not a constitutional law professor, right? He's a real person. Yeah, real guy, not a con law professor. He taught criminal law, criminal procedure. Okay. And torts, right? Being anti-abortion was literally just his hobby, okay? So, and look, it's not like he didn't ask to teach Con Law, right? He did, and I want you to let this sink in for a minute. The Jesuit Catholic Fordham University. Listened to Joey Lawrence in real life, rail about abortion and was like, yeah, man, like that's cool. So long as it's your private opinion

and you never ever teach that nonsense to any of our law students ever, okay? And then Joey was like, well, deal. Wow. Yeah. And then he ran a class. Somehow he started his own like pop up con lock class in admission.

That is actual specialty. And he'd go up to the front of the room and be like, all right, somebody give the best argument for abortion that you can. This will be the best argument and I'll then respond. So some girl is like, hey, we should control our bodies. Here's the exact best argument for this. If I can fit a person in my ass, I get to murder them. That's what happens in the news. And enjoy it. Lawrence is like, let's say that's irrational. That might be wrong. Oh my God. The arguments are so bad. Right. Like so at one point, one

of the students is like, only fanatics are against abortion. He goes, Oh, is mother Teresa a fanatic? And what's the story? Absolutely. What about the Dolly Lama? It's like, he's the fucking Dolly Lama, man. He's the definite. You mean the guy who wears his ceremonial robe who was chosen at birth because he has the Buddha's soul within his eyes? That guy? Yeah.

I'd say he was super into his thing, man. I also love that there's, they actually have a female student that's like, hey, did you even realize that you just listed a bunch of men? You didn't list any women whatsoever on this women's rights issue. Right. And we also get the great like, it's my body, it's my choice. And he's like, but the baby isn't your body. All of your body shares real quote, all of your body shares your DNA,

your child does not have your DNA. All right, so this is a weird point and everything, but the majority of DNA in your body doesn't belong to you, it's not your DNA, right? So by this same argument, like I can't kill gut bacteria, right? I couldn't take an antibiotic. Yeah, she's primordial ooze is a person. And then the one student who I guess wandered in

from a real law class is like, hey, isn't it more that we're not entitled to use other people's bodies to survive? Like we're not allowed to just cut kidneys out of people, willing, alien, take them and he goes, when you were two, you never were to survive in the forest. He's like, all right. Well, and they even do the goddamn, you just killed Beethoven. Oh, God. First of all, this fucking bit needs to start with, all right, it's 1770. He introduces this, mystifyingly as, I have a riddle. Yes. What blocks on three legs?

This is a subset. What is it? Should you murder Beethoven? Oh, I see how that works. Damn it, I always fucked that up. Dude. The? Oh, I said, I'm gonna be a dammit. I always fuck that up. The boy was, I honestly thought he was gonna be like, the surgeon is a woman. If he had ended with the surgeon as the woman, it would have been his strong, it's argument. Where do they bury the survivors?

Yeah. So yeah, also, by the way, I have to point out that because they have them talking in the front of the Stregganic auditorium, but they can only get 17 extras for this shot. So they just littered strategically. Everyone welcome to constitutional law taught by me, Robert Burns. Just go ahead and scatter throughout the classroom. Look to your left. Look to your right. You, you may have to like put your hand over your eyes. All right. So then we cut to birdie having to turn a woman down for his abortion, right? We go to, we cut to the hospital where he works and they give the, I guess they have a quota

and they won't let them go over that for his abortions. Yeah. He's like, can we get, I don't know, like roll over minutes. Yeah. Yeah. Like, cap and trade system, I feel like we should have. That's not a reasonable thing with the quotas.

Hard caps. He does, he's like, yeah, Bob is using his abortions. I'll take those. Yeah, right. I want some more. Oh, Bob is using his abortions. I'll take those. Yeah, right. I want to wash the board. Oh, God. So the invisible hand that guides the past. Nope. No, no, I heard myself saying it, Bob, are you not using your abortions? Are you

saving them up so that you can do it right before you leave for the year? You're doing like 20 abortions on it, which is not allowed to use your abortions that way, Bob. Company policy. But, and of course, the reason that we get this scene is because up until this point in the movie, he's been Bernie has been wrestling with whether he should open his own clinic that's dedicated to abortion. And this is pushing him over the edge. Yes. This is also where he gives. I'm going to say it. The most Jewish monologue ever. He's like, you give me half portions in the cafeteria and you call me names. How portioned in the cafeteria. I saw how much mashed potatoes he got. This is

because I killed babies. And even at the end of it, he goes, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to use my control of the media against you. Dear podcast listener, you, you may be hearing us laughing along and thinking, these are jokes. Oh no, all of that was 100% real dialogue from this real fucking movie. Can't exaggerate this movie. No, it's something. It's amazing. So yeah, but so he uses the Jewish control of the media to put an end to the abortion

quota system. Yeah. And then we get team abortion having cornflakes together. What the fuck is this? An uncense. What is it? Nobody wanted to fuck Larry Nagle? That is the point of this scene. Well, and that the converse that Jacqueline Smith is still DTF, like, you know, but I'm sorry, too late. It's too late. I, I, I, the movie cannot bring me back in. No, no matter what. But oh, she's tried, she's like reaching under the table for his thigh.

Like it's, yeah. I think we can all agree that the point of the scene is the abortion jingle. I'm not, again, I'm not exaggerating anything. There's literally an abortion jingle that they're going to do now. And later in the movie, that's happened. Yeah. Can we get, can we get out of this, the abortion song? Oh my God.

Oh, and it couldn't help but write a better abortion song. Yeah, right. It would just end up better. I could go upstairs and wake her right now with a wiffle bat while yelling the word abortion song. She would come up with something better. So yeah, right, right. So we have this weird scene where he's like, you know what we need is a catchy, a slogan for abortion or a catchy jingle.

Uh, abortion. No, that's that's boring. Yeah, let's take it. Let's see. It's a portion, a portion, a portion. You taste so good. No, no, that's not. So, but then you got a portion. The fucking wife though is like, honey, what about that catchy little abortion song you know? And everyone in the room is just like, wait, an abortion. So hold on, honey, go sit at the piano there. We'll do the abortion song. And he literally starts singing a fucking song about how great abortion is. With their kids, the kids sing along with this. Yep, right.

This was bad. There's a fortune in abortion, and all the other rhymes are that good too. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, and then we get like a team abortion in range, just they are with their anti-catholic, bigotry, dishing out all the APO research

on all the big cardinals. Okay. This is also to see when they make up all their abortion numbers. They just, yes. So this is the craziest claim that this movie relies on in my opinion, right? No, but yeah, it's a good one. That's fair. You know what?

That's fair. It's not the crazy. It's one of them, which is that in Dr. Bernard Nathanson's book, he says offhandedly in one sentence, he's like, yeah, we just made up whatever numbers we felt like. No, no, they didn't, but they will spend the rest of the movie pretending like him and Larry Nagle were just like, hmm, five out of 10 people have had an abortion. Boom, put it in the New York Times. Yeah, right, exactly.

And then of course, this is where they finally come up with their good catchy slogan. They were, they're going to be pro-choice. Apparently, that's a slogan now, right? And then we, we have to cut over to the, and like the abortion Avengers headquarters and they're like, well, that's so disingenuous. We hear it. The national right to life headquarters.

Don't think that's very descriptive of their position at all. Let's let's watch this news, man. Played by Mike Lindell. Oh my God. Okay. This is literally Mike Lindell. By the way, it took absolutely zero makeup or wardrobe to make my clindelle into creepy 70s local news. Oh, the role. We're shooting type casting.

Listen, makers of this movie, Nick Lowe, I know you are self obsessed enough. You are listening to this podcast. There is no amount of money I won't pay you for the footage. You wasted trying to get Mike Lindell to say a complete sentence. I can't get you those that come back from Sophia Vagabha, but I can get you. I know you have an hour of cut footage where Mike Lindell was just like, who the what? What now did go to bandit? I just want all of it. Let me make it into a techno remix. I'll steal you one fetus for every hour of Mike Lindell people you get me. We need Lil Nas X sampling Mike Lindell.. Oh, that would be, that would be amazing. I can't let it pass though, that this scene is the poor beleaguered national right to

life league. Yeah. Ben moting amongst themselves, if only we had the money to stand up to a grassroots non-profit funded by Jew gold. Right. And then the lead like person bemoaning that professor Joey Lutz does not have the self awareness to realize he's two feet away from Cardinal Biggles, right? Like, yeah, you're sort of thinking like, Hey, your direct supervisor doesn't happen

to live tax free in an entire country made literally of equal parts Nazi gold and priceless art does he? Cause you know, that might help us with our money trouble. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. That is the Catholic church was outspent lobbying on abortion out this movie. The Catholic church were outspent.

Yep. Man. Oh. Yeah. So then we hustle our way over to the Supreme Court. The VO cuts into reminders that there are only seven judges because A, he was pretty sure we would forget and B, the voiceover cannot shut the fuck up for any amount of time. I loved like the first of the justices to speak, is fall corn, leg corn, justice leg corn.

It started like this southern accent is so goddamn bad. And I mean, you know, look, I know my lane is actually perfect. But Jesus Christ of this. Yeah, playing William Brennan from Newark, New Jersey. I might have to be fair, a fuckingark, New Jersey. I might have. Right. To be fair, a fucking Tony D. New Jersey accent would have won me back over to this movie. Hey, what's with all these stames

wanting these abortions in my life? Oh, okay. So then, but then fucking abortion lawyer comes up for his opening bit and it's just unapologetic sexism. How do you get a blonde to give you a blowjob? I'm arguing in front of the Supreme Court. Who's drinking tonight?

Yeah, his literal line is when a man argues against two beautiful ladies, they're always gonna have the last word. And then just a bunch of crickets show. Yeah, it pulls me. He's like, who's drinking? Oh, I need to tell you that really happened. Oh, I don't doubt it for a second. J Floyd really did make that quote unquote joke.

Now, an inquisitive script writer might ask, Hmm, does it mean something when the male assistant attorney general could open up his argument before the entirely male supreme court. Yes. In a topic about women's rights, with a sexist remark masquerading as a joke, this is not that movie. Yeah.

Right. No, not at all. And look, again, that's not even a fucking joke. Like Andrew's here for the lost. I know jokes. That's not a fucking joke. That's just on a polygenic sexism. If it would please the court, I'd like a location's not a fucking joke. That's just unapologetic sexism. If it would please the court, I'd like a location and a job, please.

He might as well open up with bitches be shopping. All right, back to our Supreme Courting. So yes, so the abortion Avengers dribble out of court, very disappointed. Their side didn't do very good at all. Baseball stupid anyway. Yeah. It doesn't. It's important. I mean, you agreed it rules.

Gordon's supposed to just sit there. I haven't heard Andrew's last two episodes on original. Right. And they're mad because they think this is a feminist conspiracy by seven old men. Yeah. Right. No, he actually says this isn't the Joey Lerner's. This character says this is a

conspiracy. This is their fucking movie. Yeah. And then the DA jumps in and goes, well, the problem is our lawyer is terrible. I'm like, doesn't that guy work for you? Yeah. Our lawyer did a bad job. Otherwise, we would rematch. Rematch right now. But we get to call fetuses as witnesses witnesses. Witnesses. Because we were to call fetuses as witnesses. Cause we were the best two out of three. Let's do. Let's see if they'll do best two out of three. Okay. No, it's making a joke, but we're going to get to it. That's final. What happens? It's historically what happened.

Yeah. Right. So yes, so we cut to the scotus room where they're all voting. And I have to know, Andrew, do they really have a little template, name plates in the room where they all say like, I feel like they would just know each other's names. Seven people you work with every day. You do take little straw votes after oral argument to figure out, you know, where the justices are. But yeah, this entire scene is total fucking, I will let you, let me let you set it up first because I've got an angry unhinge ramp.

So. Oh, the Supreme Court just says have a shoving match. Oh, top of the table. One of them takes a difficult shit in the corner. He's just out the Supreme Court works. I'm totally unbothered by the fact that it's filled with right winged theatres. I didn't realize it was the fucking WWE after show.

It's fine, yeah. Camino's not a problem. We can't even go with it. Sir, commercial, with the whole day chair. Yeah. Okay, let me be more specific here, right? It's not just the reenactment. It is the entire premise of specific here, right? It's, it's not just the reenactment. It is the entire

premise of this seat, right? The whole idea is the court is getting ready to vote for three in favor of abortion, okay? But it's there are only seven justices on the Supreme Court. So if we can somehow delay it, because Nixon's got those two people that the liberals are not holding up, but he's incompetence. That'll be two more votes. It'll be five to four. We'll win. Never mind it, right? That they get the delay that they want. We're going to get there. But like, okay, this straw vote, every piece of available evidence tells us that this straw vote was seven to zero to refer. Okay. You don't have to take my word for what I'm about to explain because all you need to know is that the like all the behind the scenes machinations here

are from Chief Justice John Void, Warren Berger, right? And Berger will vote with the majority in ultimately becomes the Roe v. Wade opinion, right? So spoiler. Yeah. Roe v. Wade ends like Roe v. Wade doesn't. Yes. Exactly. I spent so much of this movie going like, but wasn't it seven two? The title of the movie is a spoiler. Literally. Yes. The title. Yeah.

And what's what's so wonderful is there just this is the movie version of, okay, so you lose seven to two. I would like to count again and I would also like to make up how you guys thought about what you were thinking. Yeah. Before we did this. So the movie says that Orinberger was secretly going to re here the case. By the way, that's not a secret thing. You have to publish an order to do that, right? Like you got to type it up, put it in print, and publish it in a book. But whatever. And William O. Douglas was so angry about that that he was going to expose the secret conspiracy, something or other, and went around and blackmailed all of the other justices to vote his side.

That's just insane. Here's what actually happened. Because there's some weird lost stuff, I don't know, I guess it seems sort of plausible, but here's what actually happened. First, the vote was seven nothing to affirm. Okay. Where the split was, and you've got to keep this in mind, whenever this case is sort of talking about the realignment between the first hearing and the second hearing, it was not on a firm or reverse, right? It was how far are we going to go, right? How expansive is this opinion going to be?

But seven nothing to affirm, Warren Berger assigns the opinion to Harry Blackman, who was more conservative and also junior to William O. Douglas on the side. And Blackman also had a reputation for being the slowest writer on the Supreme Court. Okay. So Douglas thought, oh, I see what's going to happen. We're going to get this like wishy, washy opinion that doesn't fully capture what the majority wants. And by the way, you're giving it to blackmen here who's super slow because it's 1971. You want it to take like a year. You want this opinion to come out after the November 1972 election so that Richard Nixon's

court doesn't strike down abortion, right? And it doesn't hurt your buddy, Richard Nixon, okay? And then when the motion for reconsideration came down, Douglas was 100% convinced of that. He was super fucking pissed, right? So what really happened was William Brennan pulled him aside and was like, hey man, calm down. And William and Douglas was like, no, you're probably right. I should calm down. And I want you to talk this was like, no, you're probably right. I should calm down. But this movie is like a fucking scene out of the Americans, right?

Like there's like a 30 minute espionage montage around this. Can we just face each other on the offenses? This is crazy. We're supreme court justices. And this movie, it's the last half hour of casino. Yeah, absolutely. They're digging trenches in the desert. Like, yeah, it's, it's so fucking good. Also him appointing the junior guy to the court. At first is so silly. He's like,

because he's my little buddy and I love him the most. And then okay, we get all the like the pro abortion justices getting together to connive on how to change this thing. This is where we learn that this movie is so fucking bizarre in this. They say the words she volunteers for plan parenthood, right? Speaking of one of the justices wives. And then immediately say, wait, your wife works for plan parenthood. Yeah. No. No. Those are two different propositions. They will use those two terms interchangeably throughout the rest of this movie. Also put a pin in the Planned Parenthood for a scene. That's all. We'll pull it out real soon. But I need to say the voiceover explicitly says, well, that's a conflict of interest because, you know,

and I'm just thinking like, you know, tell you what, right, Winger's, I will trade retro active recusal of William O. Douglas from the decision in Roe v. Wade, which, which will now win six to two. You're right. Yep. In exchange for every current member of the Roberts court, you're recusing themselves whenever they or their wives are active in right wing Republican causes.

Yeah. Come up before the court. And I might point out the 28 conservative institutions that Ginny and Clarence Thomas before like on a daily basis. Yeah, I was going to say that that gets rid of Clarence Thomas altogether. We can just like get him a nice little retirement home then. Yeah. I'll trade you a few more.

What else can we get? We got three more we can trade for stuff, right? I hear you guys are into plusy v Ferguson, which is like revisit. All right, but then okay. So then we have the scene with Roger fucking stone. Not quite the actor that Mike Lindell turned out to be. No, also required no wardrobe.

Rodney Stone shows up looking like he just killed Kennedy and that's perfect. There it is. Guys, guys, do you not realize, Rochester, there's just the one word as, as, as was one of the Supreme Court justices gets out of his car. Rochester stone is playing Bob Woodward in this scene. Oh, man, I was supposed to be amazing. I didn't realize. He might as well duck back into the car.

By the way, Bob, if anyone ever tells you about a plague, you can get it out there, right? You can tell everybody. Okay, next day on the eighth play, Fucking amazing. And he's so bad. Like, like, you know, you know, how like you've got that one local car dealership in your town that just convinced that they're killing it with their local ads and shit, he's like bad for that. He's like the owner of that car dealership got real bad dementia. And you had to visit him as part of some kind of public service and watch him read a script he'd never seen before. I'd rather start from one of the last treason.

Rogers don't so bad that he could not conventionally do look at piece of paper. No. He's very clearly looking at a piece of paper with his lines on it without being able to portray, look at piece of paper with words. Don't look away from this. Don't say this out loud. Shit. Oh, yeah, we'll buy all of the extra footage actually.

I don't give the Batman. Relax, the Snyder cut of this movie. All I want to do now is I want the opportunity to interview Bob Woodward. And I want to say like, look, you've been played in cinema by Robert Redford and Francher Stone. How do you feel about that as a race? Yeah.

Oh, man. Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay. So yeah. But so Justice Burgers sees the story and the post and he's living about the leak from the Supreme Court now. Yeah. But he should be because this Washington Post article has traveled through a wormhole

from 1979. Anyway, sorry, not to ruin the movie. Yeah. All right. Well, I'll not to ruin the movie. Yeah. All right. Well, I'll say what I do learn clearly. You need a more talented screenwriter if you want things like distinct acts. So we're going to call that the end of act two and take ourselves a break. But first, let me give act three to hard.

So we'll access to safe and legal abortion, increased female education and employment. We'll increase education and employment lead to greater political power for women. Are we all clearly starting to see why the massacres are so dead set against this shit? Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the, you're the bad guys and you lost conclusion of. Roe v. Okay. One, two, three, go. On three. One, two, three, go is no, no, no, are we going on three or one two three go on three? One two three go is no, no, no, it's on go. I would say on the it would be one two three go. Eli, you you said there

was an emergency. Yes. Andrew, thank goodness. Is it one two three or one two three go? Like legally speaking, legally, you, you called me down here for that. You know, I live in Baltimore, right? Okay. First of all, traffic was very light this morning. And second of all, no, I wanted your help protecting my blenders in this super high tech safe me and Heathville. Right.

Hence, the simultaneous key turns. And so, Ching, you want to protect your, your blenders like, like the, the food thing? Oh, no, I'm talking about blenders I wear. I got the Nadi Ice Lime X-2s from them and they're so cool and stylish. They're perfect for a day at the beach or even just a walk around town. So I wanna keep them extra safe, you know?

But Eli, unlike expensive big brand shades that you've probably lost or smashed in the past, blenders are actually affordable. So you're not gonna cry as much when the inevitable happens. I'm not? No So you're not going to cry as much when the inevitable happens. I'm not. No, you're not. It's not just sunglasses.

Blenders has prescription glasses, readers and blue lights, as well as a snow collection with goggles and accessories. Wow, those do sound good. How do I get a pair? To get 15% off your blender's purchase, visit blendersioware.com and enter promo code awful VIP. That's blendersioware.com code awful VIP for 15% off. Blenders, rock with pride, worldwide.

Huh. So I guess I don't need a simultaneous turnkey super safe after all. Yeah, it would appear not. So I guess I came here for nothing. I mean, you could settle down the thing there's one to go. Yeah, do that. Yeah, look, like guys, it's obvious. You go on three, right? One, two, three, go is on four. I told you, you don't

even know. Hate you guys. Harvard's stupid. Just a swipe, just this Brennan. Like I have a word with you about this Rovey Wade case? Yeah, what about it? I know you're planning to vote no, but I'm afraid I need you to change your mind. Oh yeah? Well, how do you plan to do that? Well, have you considered that you are a poo-poo face?

Sorry, I'm a poo a poo poo face. Sorry, I'm a poo poo face. That's right, Justice. If you can't afford to find it inside yourself to take our side on this issue, I'm afraid I'll have to tell the press that you are a poo poo face. You would not do that. I would.

No. Hey, guys, what are you talking about? You said we're going to go away, just like you. This is the coolest thing. Hey, you can't sit here. Get out of here. You, you guys suck. Go, go sit with the black guy. Fine. Good. Okay, but I don't understand why the sudden change apart. We both know that Roe v Wade is an easy case that Christians should totally win. Why are you doing this? If you must know, it turns out that my wife is a woman. That's not possible. Yes, I didn't know myself until last night,

but knowing that now I'm totally corrupted, and I'm going to change this decision to pro baby killing. Okay. Well, you leave me no choice. I just have one question for you. What's that? Will you trade chips for a chocolate milk? Yeah, okay. Nice. This is how the Supreme Court works.

Love chocolate milk. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. And we're back for more of this shit. We're gonna open up on the VO. Tell're going to open up on the Vio.

Tell us about the abortion flights to El Paso. Yeah, they called it abortion airways. And I would love to see those pre-flight announcements. It's just like, okay, on the left, everyone in an exit row. This was ridiculous. So they're explaining this. They're like, yeah, so pregnant women were flying to El Paso and then crossing the border to Mexico for these really terrifying procedures. And we, the bad guys wanted to change that. Yeah, that's what's happening. Right. Now, first of all,

they show us a shot of the airport as these people are getting to the plane. They're all so goddamn pregnant right now. Oh, eight and a half months. And then they're like, and also we did fun raising at the Playboy Mansion. So we're not really feminists. That's the best part. We exploited women for women's rights. No, they didn't. Yeah, man, fucking you have to,

is more progressive than you are on women's rights deal with it. That's it's your movie. Jesus, we get more of the abortion sucking machine. More Milo, you're not, but so ridiculous, with like mimeing it. So apparently the physical motion of an abortion is like reluctant teen angrily vacuums. He's like, I'll piss about it. Yeah. And so, okay, we check in on Larry and Bernie down in St. Sinful, I'll or whatever. Flirtin' with a couple of babes telling him about how they invented abortion.

How they control the media. I wrote that idea. He said they're bringing to the girls about how they control the media. And then they're like, we control the media. I wrote it. They're bringing to the girls about how they control the media. And then they're like, we control the media. The Jewish characters say, and I quote, we control the media. Yep. She's. And I'm also having me like, hey, ladies, I'm the father of abortion. So you want to get out of here? Or, it's gonna be easy, Christ. What I hear about how I can lie about statistics, I'm no pickup artist, but I'm guessing that that's not a great line to lead with at the beginning.

Jesus, the woman he's flirting with goes like, well, I hear a lot of women die in like back alley abortions. He's like, I made up women dying in back alley abortions. He's like, I made up women dying in back alley abortions. I said, that's me. That was my thing. Turns out Ali's Jewish conspiracy. Who knew? Even though we just admitted that that's part of my back story, no, I'm pretending it's not real. Yeah. And they have this amazing moment where they try to apologize for the fact that they didn't make up the numbers, even though they're saying they did. It's like, yeah, we made up those numbers that said 50%

of people in support abortions. And the girl in their movie about their lie goes, wait, haven't other people checked those numbers? And he's like, yes, because everyone believed our lie and so exactly the same amount of people. Yes. Yes. lie and so exactly the same amount of people set the thing as we made up. Right.

Jesus. They literally end this scene toasting to how evil they are. We also get the rabbi abortion referral here, a scene that is a hate crime in 12 states. I got an abortionist for you. Jesus. Don't you in, he's out. Don't you worry, blah blah blah, I'm gonna Jewish the chala okay. They use every single Jewish word they could come up with during the scene. They're just like, we're gonna list our Jewish. Yep.

So fucked up. So, okay, so meanwhile though, the abortion avenger sure are getting real rooted in this supreme court case. Yeah. So unfair. They get way more amicus briefs than I don't like the Joey Lawrence agrees with me that it's amicus that was like, I got bothered me too. I, I, I, I've long been on team Amicus and I was like, wait a minute. Maybe, maybe, maybe I am either baddie. Yeah. Oh God. But seriously, the movie is saying, surely there must be some conspiracy theory angle as to why virtually nobody agrees with our legal position. Yes. Yeah. That's, that's what number, like you can, like I submit as everybody on the show knows,

like opening your argument submitted an advocate's brief, right? Like, it was hard work, but like, it's not like a thing where you have to sign up on like a vaccine sheet or something. You can go do that. Like, you just have to like have a legal argument that you can articulate as to why the court should listen to you. That screens out a lot of crazy people, but not all of them. Also, this is another one of those times, like Noah is saying, they're doing a walk-in

talk in a giant protest scenario. They're going through. It's this huge crowd. And you watch this crowd be like, oh, sorry, you're doing a walk of talk with boom mics. We better spread out by like 30 feet. We watch this happen. It's so dumb. Also she wants to challenge Dr. Bernard Nathanson to a doctor battle.

We learn. Yeah, right. But then the response to that is Torx Professor Joey Lawrence, who says, well, I'll call all the DAs across the country. And we'll really get these people arrested. Yeah. That is your hero of this. Yes. Right. So, so how many levels is this fucking ridiculous? This guy, the good guy in the movie is like, well, let's arrest abortion doctors in the middle of abortions. And also, I'm a goddamn professor at Fordham. Why am I able to do that? On who's the Thor?

Mostly, mostly free time. That's right. He just brings his class with him to the Mustang on these things. We're gonna do some pro bono arrest. God damn it, Professor Joey. We do. We have to pass outside a camp. Oh, there's no buckets at this one because yes, the most notorious thing leading up to this movie is that it has buckets of aborted fetus in it. We're about to get to that scene. This is the rating, the secret abortion clinics montage. Jesus. Okay, we're going to talk about the buckets of dead babies, but I would also like to talk about the cop who punches the doctor in the middle of a medical procedure.

I'd look so for it. The woman like expected gratitude and even the actress in the movie kind of looks at him like, dude, you just punched out my doctor in the middle of a medical procedure. You can't fuck yourself, yeah. Are you a really good surgeon in addition to a cop who can finish this up? I'm under surgery right now. Yes.

Jesus Christ. And also by the way, the movie that has made such a big deal out of how evil it is to point out that Catholics organized the anti-abortion movement or whatever says, you know, it's mostly the Jews and the Protestants that helped us with our secret abortion clinics pretty much. It was all Jews and Protestants. Sorry, will you remind me which groups were behind this big conspiracy one more time? We just say it a lot one more time. Actually, actually, can we distract you with these buckets of fetus perhaps?

What the fuck? Yeah, I'm like, man, now all you strategy with these buckets of fetus perhaps? What the fuck? Yeah, I'm like, man, now all you need is 11 herbs and spices and... Is that... Keep punches the doctor and walks into like a back closet and there are literally steel pales. Oh, again, overflowing with dead nine-year-olds. Yeah. Like props from jaws, these were buckets of chum.

And like we might as well see fetuses flopping around like shrimp in a net. Like it's so crazy. See, Spiracy was like, okay, a little bit much. That's so, that's people. Okay, and so then we get the scene with Dr. Mildred cooking with her mom who is Alveena King. Right. Yeah. Oh, this, right. This is the MLK's niece. Yeah. If you're wondering, you last saw her at the RNC endorsing Trump. So, you know, if Diamond and Silk come out in the next scene, we're gonna get real close.

come out in the next scene. Like, we're gonna get real close. To move there though, when she drops the dish in horror and she just fucking spikes it into the ground like she's about to get a celebration. That's pretty. So they show the scene from Golden Girls where they talk about it from from the morning mod mod mod. Yeah, you're like 20 years to early. But yeah, learn to be Arthur history assholes, which according to this movie, Neyroll gave

$10,000 for them to do. Did Jews were behind the mod, too? Did. Yeah. Yeah. But as the scene is playing, Mildred's mom is supposed to drop her casserole dish in horror, except Althea King went to the Roger Stone School of acting. So she just fucking slammed me.

I mean, love into the floor. Yes, so Andrew, please tell me Be Arthur can sue for this for being even represented for a second on this screen in this movie. So probably not victoriousally, but I will gladly be Arthur, if you're listening to me, and I know you are, I will gladly represent you pro bono for misappropriation of like this here, just to conduct some discovery. Okay.

You know, we're going to find some Russian shit if we do discovery on this. I mean, if nothing else, we'll get that Mike Landel foot as they were after. I can't worth it. Yeah. All right. So and apparently in the middle of that episode of mod, Nixon cuts in to nominate Powell and Frank West of the Supreme Court. Hello, it's me, Richard Nixon.

My two judges are trustworthy and great guys. You can tell because I'm literally committing felonies as I get into it. Yeah. Pro tip if Richard Nixon is a good guy in your movie. Stop. Don't. More, more, more filmmakers should take that advice. I, I just wanted to point out that we get the reaction shot in Alvita King's kitchen where like they've unfurled a U S flag behind them.

They're standing, they've got their hands over their hearts. They're, they're mouthing the words to the pledge of allegiance. And, and while William Rincquist is saying on the screen is not, I believe, plus CV Ferguson was rightly decided. It was quite a play slightly differently in that African American household. I don't know. Jesus Christ. And then we get, so we cut back over to the abortion Avengers meetup again.

Once again, there's an abortion protest happening all around them. And Joey Lawrence actually confronts the fact that the whole point of this, the whole point of the anti-abortion movement is to make everyone Christian or to at least force them to conform to Christian ethics. Yeah. Which is a weird thing for them to admit. Right. Yeah. And and instead of just being like, no, this is about protecting life. They're like, well, there's no rule in the Constitution that says we can't make everyone Christian. Yeah, right. No, he actually posed the whole. Well, actually, that's a common mistake. There is nothing about separation of church and state in the Constitution. And I'm like, yeah, the fuck there is. I know that I can't refute Joey Lawrence any better than yes the fuck there is.

We really do get like a good solid three minutes of the air butt defense here. Right? Yes. Nope. Oh, we get more than that. It keeps going. Yeah. Oh, you know, they're like, where does it say you can murder a baby in the

constitution? He literally says that it wouldn't wait. Yeah. But meanwhile, Lincoln is sitting in his memorial very disappointed. We get Justice Corbin Burns in wrestling with his conscience, along with newly minted Justice Rehnquist, who is not at all about this baby murdering stuff. Yeah, he's like, I don't know, Justice Rehnquist, can we do this to women's rights? And Justice Rehnquist is like, this has nothing to do with women's rights.

Now allow me to say a sentence with the word rights right in it, when I'm describing this case. But they do all of this shit before the arguments, right? We're just to make it a little bit more a little quicker before. Sorry. I realized, I realized that was, you know, you were, you were, uh, lofting the ball over to me for that one. I'm like, right? We just went through the whole thing about there's going to be re-argument. Like, Supreme Court, this movie seems to like think that being on the Supreme Court, you got nothing but time, right?

We're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna stroll around, you know. Let's wander around to some of the night more photogenic things here. Yeah, these grasp my elbow and we shall have a garden walk together. We stroll and we'll talk about how arguments don't matter that we just heard. I don't care. I'm Christian. I'm a Supreme Court. They're on a canoe together under a big umbrella. It really is. So look, I went to undergrad at GW and like we were assigned like, you know, 1990s camcorders in one of my, you know, filmmaking classes. And like everybody who's a GW student, then like goes right, like the movies you make,

all of a sudden, we'll have like all of the monuments in the background. I like you just get to, but like, I didn't expect that to be a professional film. Like, we're here in DC. I got to put the Jefferson in the background here. Like, what are you doing, you people? Well, I love the idea that like Supreme Court justices are just like, you know, I'm gonna hit up the Lincoln Memorial before I had home to take. Yeah, a lot of New Yorkers being like,

let's stop at the top of the empty empty. Yeah, I don't know. We're here, yeah. I wonder what the Statue of Liberty might inspire if we discuss this next year. God. Oh, so, okay. So, but then we now, apparently, all the unborn fetuses have a better lawyer.

We meet the new better lawyer that they've assigned to this case. Yep. Now, real thing, it kind of fucks up the movie's narrative about how the only reason they lost Roe v. Wade is because their sides lawyers were so bad because they get a better lawyer to come in, but spoiler still lose. And worse, yeah. And what I love here is that they like they have this moment where they come in and Joey Lawrence is like, yeah, well, we've set up a mock trial here that we can go through. And then the Dallas Diaz like like, I don't need your bullshit mock trial.

And the other one is like, actually, I feel like that'd be very helpful. And they're like, Oh, okay. Well, I guess we do need your mock trial then. Like, what was the point of that fucking scene? Well, they could have gone, they could have had like a training montage

with like thesis and chicken and chicken and chicken and chicken. Oh man, just Meredith yelling at him to go grab, that could have been amazing. Oh, if you, if you cue, you know, you know playing Robert Teppers you're the best through this. Oh spectacular. This is also where they touch on Robert Burns crazy moment where he tried to make himself dad of all unborn children in your state and argument so stupid they didn't even bother making it during Roe vs. Wade.

Yeah right. It's just a side crazy thing that Robert Bern did that they needed to mention where Robert Bern was like, I declare father. No, Robert. You're not. And by the way, like as I'm sure you gathered, he intervened in a specific case. So he was very temporarily guardian ad lightem for a class of unborn fetuses for this one particular hospital for like a week and a half. He was not guardian ad lightem of the galaxy. Okay. I got this pink green lantern ring from a penis that died in a spaceship crash.

What if a fetus wants a better lawyer? How do we not like I don't understand? Should he just picturing a fetus doing that like he asked me to suck his dick model on it when viral couple years ago. All right. So now, so now Bernie's complaining to Larry, right? Because he made himself an abortion clinic, but then New York changed their laws and he's out of business, right?

And they're, and they're doing a walk and talking in the middle of an abortion protest. Well, a different one. Okay. Yep. Guys, I have a very important question about this scene. Did I black out or did they say that lady who loved abortion because she wanted to kill all the black people Margaret Seng was against abortion? So yeah, again, one of these, it's your movie movie,

but it is 100% true, Margaret Sanger opposed abortion and that Planned Parenthood. Remember that pin I told you put in like five scenes ago? Didn't provide abortions until after Roe v. Wade. So remember all that like conflict of interest about like all these women that work at Planned Parenthood, Slap, Loll and Tears, whatever. Yeah, like giving out contraception, taking mammograms, working for women's health. Like, yeah, how this plays into the Margaret Sanger racist eugenicist don't give money to plan parenthood.

I don't think they thought that one through very well. It's no. Because that was one of their main things. Yeah. They made us watch her speak in front of a flaming cross. Yes. Well, I didn't think they wanted to not alienate their the flaming cross. Yes. Well, I didn't think they wanted to not alienate their pro flaming cross. And there's a moment here to Salary that's Jamie Kennedy

is arguing with Betty about which of them owns the women's liberation movement. He like he like spreads his arms out wide and literally says, look what I have created in the middle of the subortion protest. Like, what the hell is even happening anymore? And Betty Friedad randomly looks over her shoulder and shouts equality for no reason, like three separate times. Like, oh, we got to keep throwing red meat to this protest that we're circling in the middle of like, it's so great. It's the best. At one point, she's like, abortion is cheaper than child support.

And nobody like calls back from the protest. I said abortion is cheaper than child, you yell, I yell. And everybody's like, okay, I mean, you're just having like a normal walking talk. You didn't even rhyme anything. Let's go, Matt. Oh, oh, God. Okay. So we're not quite done with the terrible stupid cameos.

Yeah. There's one left and it may be the worst one because this fucking idiot cannot stop smiling diddly at the idea of being on camera for one fucking second, but Justice Corbin Bernson is having dinner with the family and his daughter is Tommy Larrant. And she also went to the Roger Stone school. Oh, man, she's so like, you thought when you saw Roger Stone, you're like, well, I can't, can't be worse than that. Then Albeena King came in and she's like, it

could be. It could be. I just didn't have very many lines. And then Tommy shows up and makes Roger Stone look good. Yeah. So this is a Supreme Court justice. And his daughter is like, hey, you know, we're all having dinner. You want some advice about Supreme Courting? I'll tell you what to decide in that opinion. He's like, I'm not supposed to do that, but okay. Okay. And then the video is like, and that's another justice who's in on the conspiracy. Well, and also it points out that his, his daughter volunteers at Planned Parenthood.

And then the voice over cuts in and says, that's the second justice with a family member working for Planned Parenthood. And then the voice overcuts it and says, that's the second justice with a family member working for Planned Parenthood. And I'm like, again, volunteering. And again, no abortions. But I want to bring us down. But like this movie's serious message again and again is, well, you know, like if these justices, you know, just didn't have stupid women in their lives, then they could have made the rational decision here. But you know, they were led astray by their, you know, crazy daughters and wives saying, they may be women or people. Well, there's an actual line.

There's an actual line. He's like, if I vote against women's rights, you're saying I'm voting against women and the whole table of women is like. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, how is that not be your stupid? How are you? You know, I'm trying to wear it and I can follow this. Yeah. Yeah, but so to be super clear, the entire point of this scene, at least in the movie's mind is that Justice Corbett Burns and had it right, he was going to do the right thing, but then he started listening to all them. Damn, win. Right. So and then we got to this weird fucking diner scene where all the Supreme Court justices seem to be swapping out some mad Hatterian dining ritual.

It's speed dating. They do it speed dating around before every trial. They do a speed dating round before every trial. And this is where we get another airbud defense, airbud argument. It's like, where does the bill of rights say that you can kill a baby? Andrew, is the bill of rights an exhaustive list for all the rights? Is that how, like, am I allowed to eat cheese like an apple? Because it doesn't say I can eat cheese like an apple and build rights. It says it's all the right, it's the bill of rights. That's where they all are.

But this is not true. This is both rights and conduct, right? Like this is, we need to be the bill of exhaustively listing the stuff you can do. Yeah, right, exactly. It's not called that, you're saying it's not called that. Yeah, not not as far as I know, not yet. Cheese like an apple. You can eat an apple like an apple. Fuck. We're only like, we're like, we're just just talking about shit. You can eat like, there's a lot of other foods. Wow. What if they invent other foods after we make this list guys? Only foods in existence in 1791 count.

What if a dog starts playing basketball? We're getting into the real shit now. Oh god, so and I just want to point out that during the speed dating scene, justice not hurting anybody claims that If they decide that abortion is legal, that'll be at least as bad as the dread Scott decision. Yeah. What? Yeah. Yeah. Andrew. Go lead, lead me out of this. Okay. And then okay, I love this. So goddamn much. We fast forward to six months later and we're back in the Supreme Court. But like six months later than what? Right? We haven't established when it was since that episode of Maud. Yeah. I had to look that six months after that conversation, I guess,

at the diner. So we head back into court. Kelsey Gramers' daughter is throwing it down once again. Yeah. And then we get, and I am assuming that these exchanges are actual Supreme Court exchanges. Maybe? Yeah, no, I don't think these, no, it's tough. It's tough to tell because your instinct is right here because they accidentally put some smart words into Sarah Weddington's mouth, right? When Kier 2.4, everything has been like, you know, math class is tough Barbie, right? Yeah, exactly.

Okay, this is where Renquist was like, okay, so my question for you, lawyer, a fetus is a person, and she's like, is that a question? Or he's like, he's a fetus person. And so this stuff is all revisionist nonsense, right? Like, and you've seen this thread like throughout as they're like critiquing the bad performances of the lawyers, but like the pro-life movement because they are teeing up, right, like the next thing on their agenda after the

Supreme Court overturns Roe v Wade is let's recognize the fetus as a person for purposes of the fifth and 14th Amendment, right? So they have to pretend that like that argument would have all that would have been an obvious like knockdown, like game winning argument except everybody on our side took a whole bunch of stupid pills for 50 years and never argued it. As opposed to, yeah, if you tried to make that argument at any point in the last five decades, you would have been laughed out of court

and then put into restraints because it's insane. Or else, I couldn't we point out that women are definitely people, right? Like that's the principle. If the fetus is entitled to do process of law, from the moment of conception, before you could deprive it of liberty, then what that means is we can get a guardian at light. I'm appointed for every pregnant woman in America to put their movement to a vote. That means pregnant women are all kidnapping people.

Correct. That is 100% what that means. Well, and it would also mean you'd have to release all pregnant women from prison, right? Yeah. Because you haven't tried today. That's a really good point. Also, all of those fetuses are entitled to a trial of other fetuses. That's right.

A fetus judge, fetus lawyers, fetus jury. So, no, I love to bring out this doctor to the Supreme Court arguments here. And he's like, yeah, life begins at conception. And one of the justices is like, so are all the doctors in agreement with that? And he goes, oh, no. I actually had to say it weird just so that life begins a conception is technically true, not, not as in a person. Life is a very carefully chosen word.

Yeah, I did throughout this entire movie, that's the way they're like, well, but, but isn't alive. As if the pro-choice side is, well, you know, fetuses are actually animatronics manufactured by Disney. Like, what do they think we believe? The fuck did the doctors like, but unborn babies are a minority. The Supreme Court guys, you guys love minority. Yes. This is where good lawyer gives his big speech rates that babies are a minority. The true silent minority, not like Stacy Dex. I was just picturing this adorable version of the Selma March here and I was like, okay,

I'm getting. I'm gonna be a man's science. I had to say I'm like a non-upedy minority, right? Like that was a clear implication. Yeah, good. Okay, why did the movie get the evilest looking actor ever to be the pro-life attorney here? Right?

That guy was terrible. He looked like a trophy hunter at a prom. And he was like, yeah, I'm not. Jesus Christ. Oh, okay, so but that's the end of the arguments or at least as much as we're going to get of that. Then we cut to Walter Conkite. He's going to tell us how this code is swung on this one.

And what I love about this is, okay, so all the characters are watching this in Dead Silence, but they use the real news footage. So the opening is just a long list of all the reporters that are going to appear on that night's program and unrelated stories that they're going to come. And it goes on for so long. They don't tell you the answer. It was like, can we kill babies and how that affects your weekend? But first, yeah. Also, I just want to point out this is 1973. The Supreme Court announces its opinion starting at 10 in the morning, right? So the way in which

this would have played out in real life is you would have gotten the decision first. You would have then read about it in the afternoon newspaper second. And then Walter Cronkite, distant third, right? Yeah, exactly. Right. But they wanted to be cinematic for this for this moment. So yeah, but now because the movie is unaware that it's fucking over, Joey Lawrence and another things us from his classroom for a good five minutes. And everybody get back in my class, I have more shitty art in the world.

Who's that? Ha ha ha. The runtime on this movie was long enough. Like I looked at it, I was like, how is there still 18 more minutes of runtime, right? Okay, if you kill pregnant lady that's two people Christ he at one point He's arguing with one of the students and he turns to a student and he opens his hypothetical with I'm not kidding if I murdered you

Never open your hypothetical with that unless you fucking mean it, Joey. Hehehehe. You sound just like Andrew yelling at me about my notes first. I'm just gonna stop it. Hehehehe. And again, the movie is so close to being self-aware, right?

Because he's starting to like set up this hypothetical and it's like, yeah, so, right, if I murdered you and you were pregnant, should they charge me with one murder or two murders? And she says, two murders. And he's like, right, because if someone took away your choice to give, oh, fuck, I'll come in again. David, what's even better than that

is that the students, like as though the extras are like more aware than the screenwriter are like, well, you're the law professor, we wouldn't know. Right? So she's just like, I don't fucking know, man. And then he's going like, the courts won't grant personhood to unborn babies, but they'll grant it if you're the fucking Sierra Club

to trees and rivers and fish and shit. Cause they get the lawyer. This is the line. This is the best. Mm-hmm. Hey Andrew. All right. All right.

All right. Trees and corporations are people, right? That's the last one, right? So he makes, he makes by far the best point here, which is it's real weird, you know, for this movie to be like, trees, trees can have standing right? Like, yeah, corporations have deeply, it's nearly out. Religious police, but you know, I'm sorry.

What the fuck even is that? But here's what we're talking about. Okay, we're talking about a descent. Okay, and again, descent side that did not win. That's the losing team, okay? That's not law. Written by Justice Douglas, in which he argued, and it is, it's a pretty famous dissent

and it does like what Supreme Court dissents are supposed to do, which is, raises an important philosophical question. And so this was, the Sierra Club case was an environmental case that was tossed out because no party had sufficiently alleged standing, right? And so this was the Sierra Club case was an environmental case that was tossed out because no party had sufficiently alleged standing, right? And the court was like, well, we're not going to render an advisory opinion about, you know, like light and stuff on fire or whatever. And Douglas very sensibly says, well, you know, we do this all the time in like asset forfeiture cases, right? And you've seen these like headlines on, you know, that make the round on Twitter and in memes of like, you know, United States versus 8,376 pounds of decomposing paddlefish meat.

Right. And so if we can have that kind of fiction, right, if paddlefish meat can have standing, then maybe like the property itself that is the subject of environmental regulations ought to have standing in these cases as well. It is a perfectly sensible argument. And the idea that it's being deployed here is like, yeah, that crazy William O. Douglas, like, he thought a tree was a person, but a baby isn't go fuck yourself. I was, I'm, I'm, yeah. Okay. All right. You're not impressed with that argument. How about this one that,

that Joey throws out at us? Someone read me the constitutional amendment that allows mothers to murder their babies. That's literally the line. I wrote my notes at this point. What fucking classes? Criminal procedure. Also, the constitution doesn't say we have a right to privacy. Hot tape. It also doesn't say that he's gonna eat cheese like an apple. Let me, let me write your phone. I'm doing test, Andrew test case. We got this. I got to do 30 seconds on this. The Constitutional right to privacy means something a little different than like what you and I think of like, hey, don't read my text messages on my

phone, right? Like the constitutional right to privacy is the thing that gets paraded all the time of like, yeah, what's a penumbra, right? But, but it's a super important concept that says there are core basic rights like whom to marry and whether or not to have a child that are implicit in the concept of ordered liberty protected by the Bill of Rights. They're not specified, spelled out, written in words that Joey Lawrence can read, but they're essential to understanding our history as a free nation. And if you think there is no right to privacy in the Constitution, then what you must think, because these two cases were both based on it,

is that states can prohibit selling contraceptives, which was Griswald versus Connecticut. They would not sell you contraceptives unless you could produce a marriage certificate. Jesus Christ. And that loving versus Virginia, which struck down Virginia's laws, prophetic misogynation was wrongfully decided.

So in other words, that states could go back and decide not to sell contraceptives and to prohibit the mixing of the racists. Great. If you can explain that, right, then maybe we shouldn't be like yuking it up with Joey Lawrence, kind of like, oh, see, the word privacy anywhere in the Constitution.

You know what else might make you intellectually consistent there is agreeing with plusy v Ferguson and the Dredskins. Yeah. Right. Oh, well, so, and then his final argument, just to point out how stupid this is, because they're saying, well, a fetus is in a person, and he's like, but if fetus is left in nature,

it becomes a person. I'm like, no, no, it thought it would just die. If you just left it out, the woods it would just die. A fetus becomes a person so calm is murder. Right. Or it would become like a wolf. It could be a wolf, but I'm in the right. No one's gonna race it once and stuff.

He's just standing outside of a women's bathroom. Here's someone who's the tampon dispenser. Maddera! And now, and now finally, you've been waiting for the whole movie, Dr. Bernie and Dr. Mildred are gonna face off, right in front of a fucking maternity ward. Diculous. And this scene is so fucking fantastic.

They didn't even let her win. No. No, she's like, excuse me, doctor. How do you sleep at night? And he's like, fine, I help women. And she's like, no. Well, so what she said is you know even a safe abortion can make a woman sterile. And I'm like, a root canal can fucking kill you.

Yeah. Okay. Right. Like that's not it. Are that like that by itself is not an argument remotely against abortion. Yeah. Also, isn't sterility like not in the top 10 of, you know, like it decreasing order of potential complications. It's like, you know, 0.001%. Yeah, okay. Right, but that's the thing.

It's not a meaningful statement until you put a statistic next to it, right? Like the likelihood of that happening matters. Mm-hmm. And then Dr. Bernie turns to her and goes, I feel nothing fuck those little fetuses. I killed my own fetus. I killed my own fetus and I talked shit to it the whole time.

Actually, do you want to watch in this doodly do with this? Yeah, I brought a tape. I brought a clip. You literally watch that happen. It's very upsetting. And the nurse is standing there the whole time while he's doing it going, don't do it, Dr. abortion. It's your own baby.

Nurse, oh, the police. I love nurse. As he's telling this fucking story somewhere in the background, someone flatlines for a fact. The flatlines are like, that means death, right? Yeah. I just want to cut over to just some dude being a smart ass. He's like, no, I'll plug it back in. I'm sorry. I just wanted to get you a tell of the story about killing your kid. I thought it would be funny if I hold my thing out just then, but yeah.

That's my ringtone. I got a ring. And it's actually a little goof I like to play on the list. All right. So and then oh my god. So we haven't really focused on this. Dr. Nathanson is played by Nick Lowe, the guy who wrote and eventually wound up directing through no fault of his own this movie. So he's the writer, director and star. And this is the first time in the movie that he's really given himself some heavy acting to do. Oh yeah. This is the scene where Dr. abortion walks through the church asking God what the fuck's up with abortion. Okay. Question, Eli, if you started to have second thoughts about like maybe the atheism thing was a mistake, what you go to a Catholic church? I go there just to mess with people.

I walk in in the middle of a quiet part of mass and I just go, you'd let me fuck all those mayonnaise jars. And yet you say it. It gets a good laugh. Let me tell you. It does. Or you come in blacked up during Ash Wednesday and you tell them that you really, you want to refund.

It's like, I have a whole bunch of St Patrick's day Cathedral Pranks I can look But he's just he's acting his whole is a little hard out you you wouldn't know if you just walked in And see any cold or whatever. It's the door. Oh this guy definitely saw Jed Bartlett doing this in West Wing Which won't gonna cigarette and stumbling it out in the middle of the big Catholic church and he tried to, no, it doesn't know. It's fucking well. He has a lot like Martin Sheen as an actor, but he doesn't, he doesn't quite pull off this team.

Yeah. All right. So then we cut to the future and Dr. abortion is, is learning about them new fangles, ultra sound machines because he's about to have his turn. See turns out he can perform an abortion when he has to look that little fetus in the eye. Well, what we call what he sees on the ultrasound. I don't know, a six year old. Yeah. It's a video of my son is what. Yeah. Fucking bouncing around on a squish melon. He's like, you're telling me that's a one week old thing. So.

Wow. Yeah, they invent the ultrasound, and then they show us him with his ultrasound. And I was like, oh my God, are they gonna show us like the quartering happening with the ultrasound? And yes, they fucking do. They show us that. And we get the dumbest, we get a scream

from the fetus, right? Like a snake demon screaming. They're like the ghost bus to trap. We get. But his argument is like, Oh, I never saw him before. Yes, you did, man. You took him out. You gave a speech earlier in the movie about how you had to put them back together as a puzzle. Yeah. You see a fetus. Right. Is there something about the location that really did it for you, Bucko? I need it on a 1970s oscilloscope for me to form an emotional connection.

Yeah. But so, okay. So then now it's 12 years later, we cut back to that Wapua winter view that we opened on. And this is where he got caught in his abortion lie, except he already, like we said, already had his turn so that it made no goddamn sense. Straupold did anyone need this loose end cleaned up?

I'm just not like, yeah, this is a weird, this is a weird one to add another five minutes to the movie on. Yeah. Yeah. Right. No, but, but again, so, and, and to show you how bad they are at making their argument, the clothes is him saying, yep, I was a lying liar who unapologetically lied to murder babies lie, lie, lie. But now you can trust me. Now you can trust me. Absolutely. And then, again, just in case you were ever gonna take any second of this seriously, we go back to his killing his own baby, doodly-do, and his glasses are too foggy

for him to see what he's doing. Finally, clears his glasses and looks at what he's done. Oh, God. And the cut-up fetus, which we're supposed to do. You're like, is the funniest thing. That has, it's first of all, it's an extreme Armstrong doll. Yeah.

Second of all, it's way too big. It's 9,000 pounds. It's so big, it's stupid. I like, honestly, like, I thought that part, because I knew that part was coming. It's one of the more controversial parts of the movie. I thought it was a really fucking gross amount. And then I saw it and I'm like, I thought that part because I knew that part was coming. It's one of the more controversial parts of the movie I thought it was a really fucking gross me out and then I saw it and I'm like, oh, that's actually pretty funny It's four dicks arranged in a stick figure. Oh, it's it honestly

It looked like the beginning of some you know Tim Burton musical thing or something So and then we get a few statistics to close out on 61 million babies have been aborted since Roe v Wade. So nailing it. Good job, guys. Yeah. We're crushing it. African American women account for almost 40%. So it's probably helping with racial inequality quite a bit. Not sure what point they thought they just made every 30 seconds of baby is aborted in the US. In case you hadn't been doing the math. And also Mother Teresa sent a letter to Congress telling them that abortion is bad. Hey, remember the Nixon rule from before? Mother Teresa should be here. And then we get

the abortion song reprise. Well, they also, they also try and show us their sources here. They're like Margaret Sanger did go to a women's branch of the KKK. And it's like excerpt from her book. I went to a place. Good. Excellent. Great. And I have to ask like if she was such a raging bigot, like you say, why is that the worst

quote you could come up with from her? Why should marry a Jew? But the best part of the fact check section at the very end here is the Larry Nadeller thing right because they have spent this entire movie being like The fetus juice and I love to And I control the media Yeah, and it's just a clip of Larry Nadel who are being like,

the Catholics break the law and they're like, see, he hated us. He hated us the whole time. Yep. And as though this movie felt like it had not yet been disingenuous enough, it shows us a clip of Norma McCorvey. Now, so here's the thing, just to be clear,

Norma McCorvey and she has admitted exactly this in the years leading up to her death was paid by pro-lifers to pretend to have switched sides and she took the money. She felt terrible about having done it, but it was something she was paid to do. They knew that when they made this fucking movie. Mm-hmm. Right? She didn't admit this after that movie was made. But they play it like, look, we've got the live footage here of an undercover cop getting her to admit that she was against abortion all along. Right. And they come back to that whole like, and those lawyers lied to me. They said

they didn't know where I could get an abortion. And it's like, man, your lawyer's not going to hook you up with an illegal abortion. Trust me. I've asked Andrew about this several, huh? Yeah. They seem very unclear on what the job of a lawyer is. Right. This moves.

I loved on the day and the wall. My favorite was we get to see Bernie become a completed Jew. Oh, yes. It is a lengthy like he's kneeling down and getting baptized and oh my God. Yep, I used to be an atheist Jew, but then I stopped loving killing babies. Yep.

He even goes like his voiceover comes up and he's like, I also produced a documentary called The Silent Scream, which is largely considered one of the most disingenuous pieces of propaganda ever produced in English. No one will probably have to watch that shit eventually too. The end. I call, I call not in on that one. I made a short film so dishonest that all the doctors got together to condemn it just a movie. That's crazy

Fuck that guy All right, well, and that's where the movie ends. Thank God it's over and Andrew your expertise is always appreciated as is your wet Never more so than on this movie. There was so much research that I didn't have to do. Thank you on this movie, there was so much research that I didn't have to do. Thank you. Thanks. I think, and of course, not that our audience doesn't already know, but could you give them a reminder real quick where they can go to hear more from you? Yeah.

Opening arguments, go ahead, type it in or my new show cleanup on I.O. 45, which is about surviving in post Trump's America and reforming the department of justice. Um, there it's an awesome show. It's all the questions that you didn't realize you quite had just yet. Yeah. So, and, okay. So, Andrew, thank you again so much for your help. Absolutely.

And well, that does it for our review of Roe V. Wade. That's not going to do it for the episode just yet, because we still need to carry on another episode to term next week. So, Eli, tell us what's on deck? When a guitar player must use his power of guitar playing to defeat Satan We're gonna watch that shit. We'll be watching laser us All right, so yeah, we needed that. This is a little more lighthearted, nice thing.

So we've got to look forward to working with you on episode 295 to a more affordable close. Once again, a huge thanks to Andrew Tora, as an perhaps even a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show go. If you'd like to count yourself among the ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com. So it's got awful and they're by your own

and we access to an every version of our re episode. You can also help a ton by leaving us a five star review and by sharing the show and all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our siblings shows the scaling ideas citation data, D&D minus, and the skeptic crowd available wherever podcast live. If you have questions, comments, or suggestions, you can email Godoff from www.moozichemail.com. Legal services for this podcast provided by the law offices is a PND retore. Our theme song is written

in the preform by Rice. All of the music was written in the preform by our audio engineer Morgan Clerk and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a check your life this week for Heath and Rateny, LiveBosic, I'm an illusionist, promised to work hard to earn another chunk next week and till then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club close. This movie just came out so we don't have numbers

about the revenue yet, but unplanned that we also reviewed made about $15 million in profit. So yes, there's a fortune in abortion, just like that terrible fucking jingle. Abortion went on to radically lower the crime rate. It did. Jamie Kennedy still hasn't killed himself, and therefore neither can anybody else.

The Supreme Court is going to reverse Roe v. Wade and there isn't a god damn thing you were I can't do that much of that. I mean, there are things. Oh. Oh Morgan, it's going to be a long one. I feel so bad for Morgan because we've done like I think whatever like three of the last five have been so that we did justice league and when then we did we had what's what's in statement what's his name on and they went so long and then they would do that.

Been that really long one with Kara right before that. So yeah, and now this one's going to be probably pretty long, but yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's not Snyder cuts. No, exactly. It's the Schneider cut. Thank you. Thank you. I know he wasn't, it wasn't the best put I mean, the top. And the interstitial too. I bet that's probably like a legal prophylactic that's skin-sci-like. Yeah, you should do. All right. I hope so.

You're like, I'm fucking couched on it. So do I. Because I don't have a lot of information about the Supreme Court for this video. All right, here we go. Interestation too. Are you sure you don't want to go back do that again and give it a real I'm like, it channel your inner Jamie Kennedy. Oh, don't kill yourself. Channel your inner Jamie Kennedy. Make a reminder, Luciens.

Can I change my vote on the bleach thing? Yes. All right, interstitial three. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on the Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2021. All right, reserved. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC Copyright 2021, all rights reserved.