God Awful Movies - 297: Absolute Interference

Episode Date: April 27, 2021

On this week's episode, Eli, Heath, and Noah join forces for an atheist review of Absolute Interference, the sequel to Mike "My Pillow" Lindell's subway rant about ... stuff that I'd probably get dinged by podcast apps for even spelling out in the intro. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Oh Fucking Mike Lindell tries to show for Frank's piece. I tried to diagram his sentence here I wound up with a mandal brought set it was really fucking weird Yeah, although we do get his lawyers first diving on the car He goes on the other social media platforms You talk about the vaccine you almost get arrested blackout. Yeah, he starts to say another word and everything blacks the fuck out we come back and he's got a blackout.

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Andrew will be so happy. Okay. So yeah, there's been a bit of a change of plans based on like what we said at the end of last week's episode. So tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched absolute interference, the sequel, the sequel to Mike Lindell's absolute proof. It has a sequel. Yep. It's again about Biden stealing the election more.

It's the story of exact quote multiple times in this movie. It's the story of absolute proof times too. Double absolute, unplus, ungood, double plus and good, the movie like he he clearly thought that was going to be the title. Right? Yes. He might as well have gotten a coup d'etre shot on air in the middle of this fucking movie. And Eli, how bad was this Tokyo movie? Well, if you love being lied to by a toddler, but you wish he had backup from trustworthy figures like the hamburger swiper

and those kids trying to skill the lucky charms. You will love this movie. It's our absolute proof of treason. Yeah. Yeah, and defamation too. I mean, you can't say it like when we get to the courts and I'm like, Oh, it'll wind up in a court. It can't be treason if you don't know who I'm talking about.

You could be somebody else. I brought Taco Bell so you have to let Amy Comi Barrett rule in this. Okay. All right. So is there anything you guys want to nominate? This one for me the best to be the best. Best worst voice modulator. Oh my best worst voice modulator.

I okay, we're going to get there. We'll explain it when we get there, but I was literally weeping. Me too. I have to. Yeah, badly they managed to use a voice modulator on multiple guests that they're trying to hide. It may have been the funniest thing we've ever seen. It's up there. hilarious. This is a, hilarious comedy movie that doesn't know it. So I would say up until now, the funniest thing that we've ever seen in terms of just bad filmmaking was remember we watched that one movie where the credits were rolling as they did the breakfast club close.

Yeah. You couldn't read what it said because the credits were rolling over. That to me was the funniest moment we'd ever achieved. I think the voice modulator shit in this movie is even better. The Brett's club clothes might as well have been like, I'm just somebody else who has something to do to me later. I'm not me. And I was going to go with the best worst confirmation. All right. So we keep building up that he's got even better evidence than last movie. The last movie's evidence was just a spreadsheet that he never sourced, right?

The gotcha moment in this movie is even fucking worse. It's that unsourced data being verified in unexplained ways by a confidential expert whose identity has been in. Okay. I mean, maybe if there had been a very clearly screenshot at PDF of a certificate you might have, I'd be convinced. You know how sometimes the New England Journal of Medicine is blurred out and in a different voice?

Yes, exactly, exactly. That's when it's at its best, really. That's when it can really tell you what it out. That's how you know it's real. Yeah That's when it can really tell you what out. That's how you know it's real. Yeah, I said, when they put on Frank speech.com, their peer reviewed science. Yeah. And of course, I'm going to go with best worst guest to be talking about foreign interference

in our elections. That isn't Vladimir Putin. Right. Only Vladimir Putin would have been a better first guest in this movie for, hi, I'd like to talk to you about the problem of other countries interfering in our. Yeah. Honestly, it's debatable though. It is really about it's debatable between this person and really because he's Russian.

Yeah. Right. Exactly. For him, at least it would have been patriotic. Yeah. So, okay. Yeah, so okay I am so filled with getting this that I could burst so we're gonna keep the break brief But assuming I don't burst in the meantime We're gonna be back in a flash with all the run-on sentences that are absolute interference

Okay, how about Dave's extra super Christian therapy. I feel like the problem's right there in the title. Yeah, no, that is in the title. Hey guys, what's he doing? Oh, hey, no, I hear that I was just trying to find him a therapist. You were? Yeah, you know, it's really important to take care of your mental health. And if there's something interfering with your happiness, a therapist can really help.

Yeah, except the choices around here are kind of thin, you know. Yeah. Oh, how about this guy, Dr. Heinrich, not a Nazi. That doesn't sound great. Yeah, but he's not a Nazi. Guys, if you're looking for therapy, why don't you just try better help? What's better help? Better help will assess your needs and match you with your own license professional

therapist. It's not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It's professional counseling done securely online Okay, but what if I need a therapist who's I don't know secular or trans-affirming or sex work positive? Well, that's what's great about better help They have a broad range of expertise available which may not be local available in many areas plus the service is available for clients who world wide Wow, that does sound good But what if I don't like my therapist? Yeah, what if he turns out to be a Nazi for his name is not a Nazi. I know better help is committed to facilitating great

therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed. I don't know, no, it sounds kind of expensive, honestly. Dr. Not a Nazi takes gold bullion and actually better help can be more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available alright no i'm sold where do we sign up just visit better help dot com slash awful that's better h-e-l-p and join over one million people who have taken charge of their mental

help with the help of an experienced professional this podcast is sponsored by better help and got off of movies listeners get ten percent of their first month at betterHelp.com Slash Awful. Oh What about this place they promise to cure your gay or your money back? Okay, but you're not gay though. Right, so it's definitely gonna work. Oh Everybody is me back little well they left the back door of the TV stereo open while they went to take smoke break again And you know that means it's time for another game movie this time

I got Michael Flynn to explain election interference Michael go Yep, that's right that stuff is bad you can trust me. I'm Michael Flynn Michael Flynn and then and then and then after we got hand burglar here talk about meeting bun safety. Rubble, rubble, rubble, rubble, rubble, rubble, rubble, rubble. That's right. Wow, amazing, rabble, rubble. And then don't touch that dial because you're elderly and can't find the remote anyway.

We got an old cab Facebook post here, live in the studio for you to clumsily copy a piece to your nephew. Don't worry, they responded in any literal way. You could just say, I've been around the block of time or two, there right. You're just letters on a screen. I'm back with down.

It couldn't be more evident. I'm back on drugs if I smoked them live on camera. And we're back for the breakdown. We're going to open up with a series of coming attraction type clips of Michael and Delan is guest reacting to all the awesome evidence. We're not ever going to actually. Yeah. This and the theme music, which I wrote down in my notes is, oh, that doll is fucking

haunted. Yeah. Jason Voorhees is standing right behind the election. Right. It's solved mysteries with. I added as destroy boxed those more than it's telling us. And then we see Michael fucking Flynn. Starting your election, your appearance, Michael Flynn.

Yeah, Michael Flynn. Okay, here's my question. And feel free to tell me if you don't know, what are Republicans think happened with Michael Flynn? Yeah, right? What is their version of a Vetsk? Is their version of a Vetsk like, I mean, yeah, it was always a Turkish spy, but I'm sorry you didn't get his paperwork in on time.

We've all been there. My right expired registrations. Spy for the Turkish government. We've all been there. Yeah. Well, in reality, he did not get in trouble. He didn't get sentenced. Nothing's going to happen. Oh, yeah, because've all been there. Yeah. Well, in reality, he did not get in trouble. He didn't get sentenced. Nothing's going to happen.

Oh, yeah, because he got pardoned. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he's listing scary countries like China and Iran, North Korea. And he does that twice in the same minute. Okay.

He's not even the only guy like throughout this movie. I think there was a bet going with all these guests to be like, all right, whoever can list the most countries at some point, because I think we all know lots of countries on the world. And we're going to have a contest. Oh, and spoiler alert, later in the movie, someone will win slash lose that when they include Italy and France in their dangerous countries, tampering with our election. Spain is in there. Yeah. Yup. He also harps on, I mean, throughout the harp on the idea that it's the machines, right? So Michael Flynn explains how like old time elections were just, you raised your hand

and it was a night and we wrote it down in a spiral notebook and we all had a clump of dirt and we throw the clump of dirt at the guy we liked and that was it. And now it's terrible. It's dirty. I've got to admit, I genuinely thought he was going to conclude that series of sentences by being like, and that's what we should do again. Everyone raise your hand for Donald Trump. Yeah.

Yeah. He tacitly did that. Like that is right. Yeah. Absolutely. What else could he possibly be endorsing there? Yeah. So, and then we get a little tease of Dr. Doug Frank

explaining what a computer program is, but ominously. Yeah. He opens this by being like, computers, contrary to popular thought, are not a telephone with one guy on the other line. And I was like, hey, Dr. Doug Frank, I didn't think that. I mean, I know Mike Lindell's viewers were like, oh, not a guy on the other line.

There you go. Also, they try to explain what algorithms are again. They did so badly last time. In this time, they're like, yep, it's all algorithms. And then they show us a visual aid of what algorithms are, which apparently the movie thinks are equations from high school calculus. Yeah, most of them in high school.

And also lots of equations about literally imaginary numbers. Yeah. The square root of negative one is a big, big feature. It is in there. Now, it won't be the worst description of an algorithm in the movie, but we'll get to that later in the review. Yeah. Now, to be clear, the movie hasn't really started. We're still just like seeing tease clips from later on in the film of like all the awesome shit that is to come.

And there's one point here where Mike Lindell like turns to the camera and says, well, I won't say what it is, but it rhymes with dominion. or Mike Lindell like turns to the camera and says, well, I won't say what it is, but it rhymes with dominion. And I'm like, oh my God, dude, you just, you just fucked up the schmominion thing, didn't you? That you just don't know how that works. He's trying not to get sued like me trying to trick Heath

into eating a night well wrapped in baloney. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I wanted both of those things. I just, I like belonging in Nikola's relaxing.

Yeah. So he goes, he's, Lindell says, all these machines that were used cannot be done by humans. And I mean, man, this, like, he, he very rarely rises to the level of coherence required to be incorrect. Right? Also, can we talk about this particular graph they're showing here? It's got a line to show how many ballots there are and like a predicted amount of ballots based on that.

And those two lines are very similar. And they're like, conspiracy. And I was like, really? Those shouldn't be pretty much exactly the same, but like, you know, offset by a little bit. Yeah. Isn't that exactly what you expect? One never occurs in nature. And this has to be done by computer. Okay. Thank you. This is insane. They then they break, they say 100% and they bring on a physicist who's like, I'm a physicist. 100% does not exist. Only machines can do 100%. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. It's a fucking insanity. Then we get a little clip of the three-way split

screen with him, General Thomas McEnerney and Colonel Phil Waldron. I just want to say that I was impressed and given much joy by the fact that they combined their two crazy military guys into the same Skype call for this movie. Yeah, right. They have vastly different conspiracy theories. They're not pushing the same bullshit, but they were like, you guys are the army shooty-shoot bang bang guys. Why don't you hop on the Zoom call and that like they literally contradict each other

in the middle of this thing with the one guy says says that's nice of you, but you're wrong. You're fucking wrong. My conspiracy is better. They pan out on like some more of that airline tracking graphics that we got an absolute proof which are going to feature prominently in this one as well. Oh, yeah. And then of course you get like like you do very often when you're telling the truth about stuff, you get his guest and fatically saying, quote, this is not made up stuff. This is real stuff. And it's Michael Flynn. It's Michael. It might as well cut to a clip of me being like, I have no idea who drank all this mango

nectar. I have no idea. I'm so sorry. Seriously. I guess I would have tried some. Also, I almost did best worst visual aids because they're all amazing. So one of the visual aids here is they're like, okay, China attacked us and then they show computer screen with a loading bar and the loading bar goes all the way up to 100% which apparently

doesn't exist in physics. No, it's weird. It's weird. It must have been on a computer. But according to this movie, the hackers who stole the election made computer animation visualizations of votes being taken to Europe and getting changed to Biden and then going back with a bar that tells you exactly how much Election you stole

Why make those and you know those votes were just unbearable, right? Like every time they saw other votes they were like, you know when I was in Paris and it was like, oh my god Miss I remember when you were a truckboat. You were so much cooler. Oh, and speaking of messiest graphics, how about that title screen, huh? Okay. Alright, they start the movie again with the exact same graphic here. It looks like toy story, but it's about title screens and fucking like captions and titles all getting in a major avenger style battle on the screen at the same time.

The title screen I shit you not has 31 words and two ampersands in it. Apparently the subtitle of this film is and I quote, the sequel to Absolute Pro with new evidence for and domestic enemies used computers to hack the 20, 20 line. Pithy love it. Love it. Yep. Oh, all right. And then so we caught in on Mike Lindell ready to start the movie proper this time.

We start off looking at spreadsheets. They don't even like when I make spreadsheets, I call her some of the sales and I offset the rest. They didn't do even do any of that shit, right? It's just a naked fucking spreadsheet. It's too far away for us to even see the information. He just wants us to know he's got spreadsheets for this. I could make my own spreadsheets. They can't stop you. It's not illegal. And basically Mike's point here in the opening is we did such a great job proving our point a month ago. We made a sequel. Yep. Yep. Yes. The never ending story part two. Yes. Yeah. And he repeats again that he has 100% proof, which again does not exist in physics. Right. Yeah. Mike Lindell is a computer. We figured it out everyone. Yeah. There you go. Well, then

also this is where we make that for the first time that claimed that the first of his movies got 150 million views in just the first four weeks. It was a bell. Did that? Mike, Mike, did you click refresh a bunch of times? Did you know? I mean, you know, look, that's impressive. That would make you the fourth most watched YouTube video in 2005. That's a big deal. But like, even if you're not lying, and you're lying.

This is also where he goes off in his little tangent about how he gave everyone in the media his direct phone number But no one called him after his movie came out to ask him about all the crazy lies he told and I just wrote my notes Okay, how much do you all want to bet I can get Mike Lindell's direct cell phone number within 48 hours by pretending to be from Yeah, right right. Oh, it tends to be Donald Trump whatever. Yeah be from news. Yeah, right, right. Oh, it tends to be Donald Trump, whatever. Yeah. And then okay. So yeah. So he explains that the media just never even called him after that first date. And it was very rude. I could have at least sent a thank you note of some sort. It was so good. He's like, and you know what happened after I released part one and told everybody about it, and they could call me crickets. Yeah, so happy. What point do you think you just made? And these are teasing the evidence.

And like, you know, he's like, oh, and working as he's an evidence tonight that so good, I haven't even seen it before I've never seen this evidence. And then he realizes that those two things contradict, right? Like that he's never seen it and him telling us how good it is. And he's like, but I've heard it's the bees knees, I hear good things about the evidence. I'll see you for the first time tonight. Yeah. He also gets all mad that Jimmy Kimball made fun of him. Okay. Jimmy Kimball live. He will get every name in this movie. It's so wrong.

It's like he's talking about the Chinese knockoffs of the people he's discussing in any given moment. Okay, let's, let's be fair. Brad Raffinsburgers very difficult to say. It's almost impossible to say. So, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for,

Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad Bonsburn for, Brad I have been known to Malaprop in my day, but I get the R at the beginning correct. Correct. Correct. That's right. What?

That's not even close. There's F's. All right, so then we rough cut our way over to this Michael Flynn interview. And I love to, by the way, the introduction of it, Michael and Del apparently insisted that they put his name and title on a chiron too. So we got both of them identified. In case you didn't know, he's the my pillow. He's just, yeah.

In two, two point larger font and also Mike Lindell. Mike Lindell. By the way, there was a little like about us, you know, contact us, link boxes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's got a link to Mike Lindell's telegram, which and the telegram bio says he's an inventor. He invented the my pillow.

He considers that an invention. Well, in a towel, he invented the moisture wicking towel. Right. Right. Right. Speaking of chirons that were stupid, not a general, Michael Flynn is not a general. No, no, it's not a general. Not a general. Yeah. The fellow you formerly known as general. Yeah. But Mike Lindell's like, yeah, well, you know, if anybody knows

a lot about election interference, let me start again. Let me come in again. If anybody knows a lot about this particular subject that we talk about in these movies and knows all about my movies It's this guy Michael Flynn and Michael Flynn comes in and immediately gets the name of Mike Lindell's first movie wrong It's the fact he gets it right and it corrects it wrong You go slas you said in your movie absolute proof our absolute truth I'd like you to say out the subtitle also, please. It's important. It's pithy. And what's fucking fantastic about this interview with Michael Flynn is that Michael

Flynn's a trader and a foreign spy, but he's not a crazy stupid drug addict. So you can just see him hating. He was like, I just wanted a million dollars from a big terrorist guy. I didn't want to talk to Mike Lindell. Mike Lindell is like, I'm sorry so much of my spit is spraying on your face. If any gets in your mouth, use mouthwash immediately or technically on cocaine. Technically crack cocaine, which has mandatory minimums. This works. You want to be careful. So that we get a little CNN clip of, you know, the pre-election showing like it's possible

to hack into the voting machines, right? Oh, okay. So this is, and we're going to talk about this quite a bit. These are hackathons and for the record, they are a terrible way to test security because they have no standardization for what constitutes a hack Sometimes you're given a username and password Sometimes people plug their computer into a wall and say hey hack into this no you can't touch it They're fun and cool. It's cool to watch greyhats do cool shit

But they're not a good indicator of security Especially not election security. Well, look, and the other thing too, and this is going to come up over and over again in this movie as the existence of a weakness is not proof that something happened, right? Like, like, you could kick in my window and get into my house. That's not proof that you broke into my house. Right. Right. Every machine's hackable. It's also, they're all fuckable too. And I put my

dick in any of the computers at the election board. It doesn't mean I didn't also. And what I love is so Michael Flynn's talking about like how the machines are connected to the internet and they're hackable. And there's like all these scary computer words fly in at us. It's like IP address password, encryption, malware. And I'm thinking myself, yes, that's exactly what terrifies Mike Lindell's audience of 75 year old Luddites. Yes, absolutely. The machine. He actually said IP address in like scare quotes in the air. Is that under dispute? What IP addresses are or that they exist? Well, you know, Mike Lindell's audience is like,

they know where you pee. I got to call the Pigeuig Lee and apologize. I was walking home from bowling and I had to go. We also get an amazing visual aid here again. It shows us a computer screen and it says, secret information and the access is growing. Why do we have these? So and by the way, so this marks by the way, the third time in this interview that Michael Flynn

will ominously name scary countries, the fifth time we've heard him do it for about 20 minutes into the goddamn movie at this point. This is where he sneaks Italy in to try and get a bonus point. He's like China, Saudi Arabia, Italy. Italy put it on the board. I'm waiting by one now. Yeah. Also real quick, the Kairan that I don't think it ever leaves the screen that says Tuesday, April 20th, 2021. And it says worldwide viewer tally, 91 million. Like this movie apparently had 91 million people who watched the day before it released.

Yes. Well, okay. And I just want to point out like the website that we watched it on the counter said 39,304 and I'm not saying there weren't 2,315 other websites with similar numbers on. I'm just saying that I doubt. Yeah. Also, this was their counter for Frankspeech.org or whatever wish to this minute as I check right now, give me one second. Yep, still doesn't fucking work

so 91 people were watching this movie on a website that wasn't functional. 91 million. Yes. Jesus Christ even if we gave him six orders of magnitude, it's still a goddamn lot. All right. So then we cut over to New Hampshire where Flynn claims that each voting machine came preloaded with 300 Biden votes. We spotted Biden 300 votes like a game of basketball against a little kid or something. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like, I have no idea where this, I googled this this trying to figure out where this came from. There was like one minor down ballot race that had a weird 300 vote discrepancy on one machine at some. So maybe this grew out of that, but I can't even figure out where this came from. Yeah. You know what? Donald Trump can have New Hampshire's votes.

Sure. I have 300. Oh, oh, so and this is the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, said the truth. Yeah, he's like, I would say it was unbelievable, but that's five fucking syllables. That's way beyond my comprehension. Comprehension is also complicated. So it's too much complicated. God damn it. This is tough. But, but yeah, rath one blurred, but the concept of algorithm despite having all of those syllables, is super, super simple. It's just, it's just not simple enough for Flynn to get it right, I guess.

Yeah. According to Michael Flynn, quote, it's a way to manipulate data in these machines, these phones and quotes. What he's describing is a number, right? He's describing the number 300. That's not an algorithm. I mean, there's an algorithm to get there. One, two, three, four, et cetera, 300.

There you go. So, so then Mike Plinn, he's talking about like the states that had discrepancies in their voting. And Michael indelso's word, we're not going to say their name is but Arizona. And he puts air quotes around it. And I'm like, what do you people think air quotes do? What I would give all the money in the world to be present at the meeting where someone taught Michael and Del that trick and just to watch in in that lawyer bad universe Andrew go back and forth while like he's tickling the lawyer trying to do

air quit. Nope. Nope. Mike in the air. Don't just say Arizona. Arizona. Okay. That's fine. We're on air. That's fun. We're on air. And then they, they fucking just decide to like let HBO do their homework for them. So in 2019, HBO released a documentary called Killchain that showed all these various vulnerabilities in the US election system because hey, in 2016, our election was fucking hacked. Right. Right. So obviously this was not everybody's mind. So now they're throwing it back in our faces and saying, see the Democratic senators were worried about this when it was in the future, but now that it's the past, they're not worried about it anymore. Session. It's amazing. The whole thing about kill chain is that it's about disenfranchising voters through hacking. Very little of kill chain is

like China's going to turn a seven into an eight. They're like, they'll fuck up the voting rolls so that African Americans can't vote and steal the election. That's what Russia wants to do. Yeah. And because that's every other sentence in the documentary, every time they show a clip from kill chain, it'll just be like computers are bad shot. But what's amazing is that they don't always recognize because they're not smart enough to know what's being said. So they don't always recognize when the movie is undercutting their arguments.

So a couple of times the clips they show from kill changes completely kill the argument they're trying to make. Yeah. Okay. And then the other question too is like, and this is just a general question about their conspiracy, I guess, but if China hacked the election to give Donald Trump all these extra votes, how did he also hack the polling? Yeah.

Where the expected thing ended up happening. Yeah. Anyway, also, how did they hack the paper? Yeah. That's my question. That's only right. Was it Chinese paper? Oh, yeah, I Chinese paper company was it like Dunder Mifflin Shenzhen? Yeah, prefabricate. You know,

they put 300 pieces of paper inside every voting machine. That's when they shipped them out. Like that's not part of this conspiracy. You go on. I just want to watch my clindel like unscrewing paper. To try to find. I bet there's a transmitter in between the two. That's on the cutting room floor somewhere. Man, man, man. So, and then this is the first time that

Lindel is going to shell Frank's speech to us as new. Is soon to be new website. He's telling us about all this awesome website that he's gonna have. And we see this shot of a lovely young woman with her mouth taped shut to represent the loss of free speech. But just in case that was too subtle, that symbolism, she's also holding a piece of paper that says free speech.

Okay. Here is my question. Do you guys think they made an intern from my pillow film herself with tape over her mouth or is this weird stock footage? So, honestly, the fact that it's green screened and they haven't put anything in as the background strongly suggest stock footage By the way this woman's journey it has a sequel and it's fucking amazing We get to it when we get to it. It is it is

Well, and then might find and this is such a weird line of evidence He's like consider how many times the government has told us that China cyber attack us and I'm like Well, okay, so like that would be like trying to prove someone is guilty of murder by establishing that murder happens all the time. I mean, what point are you making? Listen, what I'm Mike Lindell, I'm telling you, is that we very often catch it when we're attacked by foreign countries. Shit. Fuck. Oh, man.

Michael Flynn, would you like to add something about Russian interference in elections? God. Starts the lower himself down behind the desk, Michael. Michael, where are you going? Are you getting shorter, Michael? Shrink, you're shrinking them with a shrink, right? And of course, this is the first time that we're introduced to the subplot of the, of the film, which is, of course, Mike Lindell trying to say Brad Rapinsberger.

And I don't think he ever gets beyond three syllables, right? Ratson for, or rats the fur is the closest, I think he ever gets. Taff is prefer. Yeah. Fucking awesome. And this is where he introduces the like, I never cared about politics until a horrible coincidence made Donald Trump president and our politics became a clown car for four years. Right.

And he means that is a good thing. He's like, I never cared about politics. I just smoked a bunch of crack and then made an overfilled pillow that your grandma could sleep on and then i was like you know what i should do i should recommend the president turned nation into a police state yes right again it's it's he's like those fucking podcasters that brag about how little preparation they do yeah that's not a good fucking thing. I really didn't know anything. I-you're 50! How the fuck did you get to 45 without ever noticing politics? He says, at this point, this is so bizarre. He goes back to the fucking well on this. He's like,

you know what I've learned in the three and a half minutes I've been paying attention to politics? Is that most politics- I swear I'm not making this point up. He makes this point- Oh, this is over and over. Most politicians have a political agenda Constantly I count most he says this Nihilist politicians Should be must be exhausting someone from Wisconsin stands up, but that's not fair Senator Carl hungus is here. There he is.

But when he says that, because this is the exact order that things have, and he goes, most politicians have a political agenda. And then Michael fucking Flynn, who is sitting next to him, whispers whispers, or they're compromised. And then, and then Michael and Dillst says, yes, or I was about to say that. Thank you. I know that word too. Or they were compromised or blackmailed or fade out. Feedback in Michael Flynn. You had a new point unrelated to what we were saying. It's this is the first time and not the last that I wrote in my notes. This is self spoofing. What are we doing here?

I'll tell you what everyone. This Tuesday, why don't you just pull up a chair and watch along with me? And then we learned just in case that we were in danger of taking any of this seriously, suddenly an embedded beef jerky has just up at the bottom of the this is Beef jerky has just up at the bottom of the screen. This is Pistol peets Pistol peets jerky Yes, which has a website and my friends if you ever thought to yourself hey, can a website go insane? Check out the about me page on pistol peets jerky. I would not eat pistol

peets jerky for fear of my safety after reading the about me page on pistol peets beef jerky. But if you order two, you get a free pocket constitution and a US flag sticker with every order. Wait, seriously? Yes. Yes. Yes. Fuck that. You have to check out this website every time you buy a 12 pack, he sends a senator a free constitution. Oh, so you do that? He fucking sends Andrew fucking, I don't know, he sends fucking Bill the Blasio single

sent him and Bill the Blasio is also on a center Batman and Robin what's my guy? Who's mine? Wow What's the boy booker Jesus Christ? No one of two it's not him. He's not him. It's It's literally no no. He's the one who's dating Rosario Dawson. Yes, Andrew Cuomo. That's it. He sends something to Andrew Cuomo is not a senator. Oh, yes. And not even of your state.

Jesus. Jesus. Ha, ha, ha, ha. New York Times thinks he's a great source on politics though. Excellent. So it's on politics. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, shit.

Your other senator, I forgot is Bob Menendez. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah, okay. The very upstanding Bob Mnendez. Oh, I'm sorry. We don't all take a little money on this side. He's a senator, man. He's got to make ends meet.

Yes. All right. So, and then, okay. And then Flynn recommends that we read Clarence Thomas' descent in the Pennsylvania election decision. No, no. I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, okay, and then Flynn recommends that we read Clarence Thomas' descent in the Pennsylvania election decision. Wait, no, no. I mean, like his argument basically was like, hey, if you know, if enough people's threatened

to stop believing in elections, if they don't get their way, we really should let them get their way, right? You know, now that I think about it, I do have too much rights to vote Clarence Thomas. Yeah. In fairness, Clarence Thomas. Yeah. In fairness, Clarence Thomas way better source than Michael Flynn about election. Yeah, I guess, I guess if you're Mike Lindell and Michael Flynn's what you got, yeah, step up. Every direction is

up. This is also where they try to counter the like, hey, didn't you lose every fucking possible lawsuit you had about this election? And they're like, well, you know, one judge actually did look at the evidence. That judge looked at the evidence. I just want to point out that judge also rejected their case. He just also included like, Hey, I looked at your evidence and it wasted my time. I want my life back statement at the end of his rejection. And the whole basis of this but the whole basis of this is that like they're like, yes, we sued, but none of these judges would even look at our evidence. And I'm like, man, that's a funny way of saying laughed out of court. I guess it's technically accurate.

But like, again, like we didn't even rise to the level where they bothered to look at our god damn evidence is not a bragging point. No, no. She says, okay. But then Mike Lindell shows that he really does love me and he tries to pronounce Brad Raffinsburg again three times this time he gets rats the fur I think he starts panicking and it gets worse worse than a hamster and at one point he does try to go he goes like Brad Rastaford Rastafurgan Whoever's name is and this is great because it's Mike Lindell Retelling the time the president committed a felony on a phone call. We all heard yep

And he's trying to tell it in a way that doesn't make it a felony But he does not know what was illegal about that call. So he's like, you remember, remember when the president done asked for votes, fun, we asked him for the real numbers. And he said, I don't got him, but we do. We did socialism and communism were coming for us. Well, and you could tell that he's made a great point here because we get stock footage of

a bald eagle on a tree and a cross with a sunrise. They might as well jingle keys in front of grandma. They clearly wanted that cross to be blowing in the wind and then they were like, that doesn't happen. We need a lady with a cape next to the cross to get the wind blowing thing and they do that. We can sell us a wacky inflatable crucifix. Okay.

Now I need one of those. So and then he also points out like in case his arguments aren't good enough, he reminds everybody of proverbs three, five through six, which is the try not to be too thinky. We'll take care of that shit, proper. Yep. Don't try to understand things. Yeah, Mike. I see that you do live by that. Yeah. I see. Don't use your brain thinking. And that's good advice for Lendel. Absolutely. Yes. Yeah. This is the first, but definitely not the last time that Flynn is going to yell about how come he personally is not allowed to look inside the voting machines.

Oh, I'm not allowed to look inside a voting machine. Why? Because this is a Wendy's and it's 4 a.m. Alone. Alone, right. And again, like the fact that Michael Flynn is not allowed to look in our voting machines. If anything helps me and my confidence in our election integrity, also Michael Flynn is not allowed to look at our voting machines. If anything helps me and my confidence in our election integrity. Also, Michael Flynn, stop smack at your goddamn lapel, Mike.

It's like he's signaling for help in Morse code. I'm sorry. I was a spy. Please take me out of the studio. He keeps smoking crack every time they call cuts. So and then of course, you know, why reinvent the wheel, aka make your own movie. So we see more clips from Killchain. And this is Dr. David Jefferson. And I didn't quite get his name because his name, which is the clip from Killchain, is blocked by both the timestamp and the logo

and the Kaira. Yes. Yes. And then again, they show one of these clips where like somebody's like, well, in the certification labs keeps their processes secret. And I'm like, oh, their entire argument breaks down because of the existence of a certification lab and they don't know that. Thank you.

Third party test labs do this. They're chosen by the bipartisan election assistance commission. They do a source code review states to their own version of that same review. And then they double check all this against paper ballots. Yes. Yes. Exactly. And then they got and now they're coming out and saying like, and we're not even allowed to look at the code. And it's like, well, you're not allowed to look at it. Exactly. If you were allowed to look at it, that would be more evidence of how easily it would be hacked. You know who you tell it to? Fucking Michael Flynn. Yes. Also, Mike Lindell, you just agreed that algorithm is too complicated. What the fuck would you do with the code of a voting machine? Right. If they elected me, Supreme ruler of the United States tomorrow, I would turn over all the

code to Mike Lindell on the condition that he's not allowed to show it to anyone, but I'm sorry. Right. all the code to Mike Lindell on the condition that he's not allowed to show it to anyone but him. So, right. He's just sitting there going, okay, I'm going to find a two in here eventually. This is a big number. He's trying to be an artist. It's a decimal. One day, 1000.

So, all right. Well, if this movie can kick shit over to a different movie, I feel like we can get away with kicking it over to a skip, but we're gonna pause for a quick break. We'll be back in a minute with even more absolute interference. All right, your contract is all set here with big cell phone company. Finally. Just gonna need you to sign here and you're all set.

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Okay, I'm in. If I ain't you mean you could read a wash my car this afternoon, say nothing. Dude, I can hear you. Ah, beans. All right, what about tacos? Yeah, I could do tacos. Damn it, Mike Lindell, really? That's right, it's me, Mike Lindell,

you're greatest enemy here at Dememberton Voting. Dude, for the last time you are not our greatest enemy, you're just a crazy person who gets us death threats from other crazy people. That's what Dememberton wants you to do. Yeah, it's...it's dominion. We're literally running out of hypothetical dollars to sue you for at this point. Let me look inside your computers for the last time Mike. No, no, no, no, you know what? No, let's let him do it here. Have it take a look

You do what do you do? I don't care. This is the eighth time this month here. Look all you want go. Thank you. Thank you now Chinese is Are you in there? What? Are you looking for literal Chinese people inside our voting machines? Yeah, they can fold up real small. I saw it in Ocean's 11s. Okay.

Try shaving a haircut. That's a good idea. You hear that Chinese is saying a haircut. Chinese. Oh, I knew it. Saving the haircut Chinese AHHHHH I knew it! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Goddamn thing related to this movie and even the most, like I could not make up a less relevant degree for this man to have. He's a PhD in surface electric chemistry

and he's like, that's a fancy name. And I was like, is it? I know, I was worried. I was worried. And he explains. This is not even four syllables. You don't even get to four syllables in a million. I study surfaces often electronic.

Yeah. In a street made of elements, they sort of, at some point, they're elements involved. Well, but he tries to pretend that it's relevant. He's like, so, you know, I'm all about making models from data. I'm like, oh, well, then it's pretty much the same. Yeah. I didn't realize they both involved numbers. Yeah.

Okay. I'm sure this guy does make models from data, but you don't have to make models to count votes. It's not, it's not math. It's counting. That's, that's what vote machines do. And to disprove this, Mike is going to also include himself. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. No, it's just like making pillows too, really? If you think I also because I look at the numbers of how many pillows we sold and I'm like, that's a lot of pillows or that's not enough pillows. Well, if Dr. Frank fucking just boxed at that right, he goes like, yeah, you know, all I ever look at are the deviations and the numbers and Dr. Frank's like, really? I feel like you have to look at pillows from time to time. He's like, Dr. Frank is like a bad David Cross character.

Right? He sounds a little like David Cross. Looks just like him in a little facial prosthesis here. If this movie turned into the pre-tipped call-in show, and it's just Mike Lindell pulling the crosses green of him in the first one going crazy about him going crazy somewhere else. Honestly, if he had ripped off a prosthetic halfway through the movie and been like, I'm just David Cross fucking. Yeah, that's pretty good. We don't know that that doesn't yet happen in this bit, but yeah. So yeah, but after studying the data, Dr. Frank uncovered

the algorithm. And Mike Lindell is like, okay, quick, quick, before the audience has the blindest clue what you're talking about, I want to ask a lot of questions. This PhD explains that an algorithm, it's like, it's like making chicken parm. And that's actually the truest thing in the movie. Yup.

It is the truest thing in the movie. However, the best way to exemplify that is not to keep a still image of a complete recipe for chicken parmesan on the screen. I wrote in my notes, you know what? If you told me this documentary would include a complete recipe for chicken parmesan, I would not have believed you and yet here we are. Okay, but so Dr. Frank though, he's done some research here, right? He's got some evidence. He will not show us this evidence, right? We're just going to have to take Dr. Frank's word for it,

but they took it. They looked at a list of people who were voters and then they went door to door and they said, hey, are you this person? Do you vote and they were not, they didn't even exist. That is proof that there are fenton voters all over the country. Okay. Are you John Smith?

No, what? What? What? Get outta here. Absolute proof. Are you John Smith? No, what? What? Get out of here. Absolute proof. Are you writing absolute proof in your little spiral notebook? I'm not. Is his larger point? And I should explain, he talks for seven and a half hours. Yes. He will show us several million graphs. And it seems that his point is this. We looked at the US census of how many 20 year olds, how many 30 year olds and how many 80 year olds there are. And then we looked

at how many people who voted. And those numbers are very similar. That's it. Mine is something. Yes. Okay. So the first thing that he shows us is here is the census date of how many voters are in Hamilton County, Ohio. That's the county that he's using. And then he's like, and then here is the second line that shows us how many ballots were sent out. Notice that the number of ballots sent out in some of the ages are even higher than the number of people. Now, this is the 2010 census. In the 2020 election. I looked it up by the way, yes, the

population in Hamilton County, Ohio went up in the last 10 years. Did change. It wasn't exact. Everybody wasn't exactly the same age 10 years. Yes, they're going by fucking age. Did any of the 20 year olds magically turn into 30 year olds? Also, this graph, they're showing us a line graph of each age number and how many registered voters there were and how many votes there actually were. That shouldn't be a curve. Everyone has an exact age number.

That's a thing that's digital, not an- it should just be dots without connections or a bar graph. Definitely not a line graph, that's digital, not analytic. It should just be dots without connections or a bar graph. Yeah, definitely not a line graph. That's dumb. Here you can see the 87 year olds ish. What is it? And then he throws up this third line, right?

Here's the line of ballots. And here's the line of ballots cast. And look, they go up and down in unison. I'm like, how would they not do that? Oh, fucking course they do. Why? There is no fucking way that they could not do that. What would you want to see?

I want to know what he would see on that graph that would not be suspicious. Well, okay. So here's the fucking thing. Again, if you had any intention of actually making a point, what you would show us was a very different looking graph from Hamilton County 10 years earlier, four years earlier, and eight years earlier,

12 years earlier, but because that's just how all of these graphs would look in any election ever in any fucking county in the history of America, they can't. They just have to look at that one graph and go, wow, that's suspicious as hell. This is where Michael and Del is like,

and you and I have never spoken before, sir. Is that correct? He is absolutely setting up a magic trick. I've never touched the inside of your pocket anytime. You can see the inside of my sleeves. You have a choice of any playing card. Dr. Frank says at one point, he's like, and you can use this to predict the data too. You know, and of course, Michael and I was like, wow, because that's just his standard response when he doesn't understand something.

But what he's actually saying, what Dr. Frank is saying is that using nothing but census data, the number of registered voters and statewide voting trends, he can predict how many people in a given county voted at a specific age. So it's so insane. And Michael and Del, it doesn't understand what's happening. He just says, is all real data because it's a chart, charts are real data. The source of this chart is Frank speech.com. I see it on the side of things. But even if it's real, it's just showing that this county in particular has about 2,000 people who are 87 years old. They all registered to vote and they all voted.

That exists in physics. 100% can't exist there. I'm not saying it's true, but that's possible. I think Dr. Frank's point is like, well, if you look, the same general percentage of people per age voted. But that's not what the chart shows at all. No, no, that's not what he, that's the point. He seems to be trying to make with the chart.

Yeah. Right. Right. A lot of this counts on us having no idea what we're looking at. Right. And I think the conspiracy theory is that the hackers made sure that every registration Turned into a vote minus exactly a hundred voters from each age right Why would we do that And also why wouldn't your chart show that and why wouldn't it show that thank you well But so but that's what he said because he's saying like it's and then if you average these out It's all the same number. I'm like, if you average anything out,

you get one number. That's what it average is. But again, that's the point. He's making it. And like when they line the numbers up, of course, Michael and Dell has to go, wow, they're clap, identical. And like number one, you are very clearly doing an impression

of the bad guy lawyer from Michael's and Vinnie, that is exactly what you're doing. And number two, you are very clearly doing an impression of the bad guy lawyer from my cousin Vinnie That is exactly what you're doing at number two How the hell would you know they were gonna be identical before I put the fucking paper up if you've never met before I'm starting to think that you knew that was gonna be the three of spades the whole fucking time Michael and Elsa plant clearly They're also doing that saying things at the same time Yeah, right time thing I literally just all of my notes at this point in the movie are They're also doing that saying things at the same time. Yeah. Right.

I literally just all of my notes at this point in the movie are kiss. Kiss. But then they have to admit that they weren't even telling us something true or useful here. The PhD chemistry surface electronics guys like, okay. So they actually use different Numbers for for different ages as the mind contradicting what we just said But every one of them has an app

They use a real number minus each time So and Mike Lindellis repeatedly keeps making this same point where he's like, you know, what though, I'm glad Joe Biden get to be present because my, I have a lot of Democratic friends. I'm sure you do, Mike Lindell. And none of them like what Joe Biden's doing. And they're like, this isn't what we voted for at all. I'm like, dude, like the idea that you have friends at all, you're asking a lot of us, right? But the Democratic was come up. The amount of times that Mike Lindell says, I don't have your Dirk Bommaclian, Rememocrat or what? The idea, the notion that Mike Lindell thinks

he is going to like AOC is going to flip this on and be like, huh, he knows the marathon with the people. Salesmen. He's more of a middle of the road guy. Let me listen up to this surface chemistry electronics. Oh, this is where we get return of green screen free speech girl. Yeah. This is where she tries to talk. She's got the tape still and she tries to talk into a megaphone and then shakes her head like, no. Because her mouth, because she's not allowed to talk anymore.

Cancel culture is say, yeah. So. And he goes, my Gleen Delkies turn into the camera and go, and like, and I, and we should point out that this is not the stuff that was rejected by the judges. No one out there has seen this evidence. And I'm like, including us and we're watching the goddamn movie. You keep saying evidence, but you're not showing us.

You're just claiming shit. Yeah. Also, he thinks that's a win. Like he's like, I know what you're thinking. We lost all those cases in the one judge that did see our evidence from before that I still think is true. Punch me in the stomach and told me I was a waste of human meat. But this is new.

And that's why Brett Kavanaugh is going to vote at nine to zero nine to zero of the Supreme Court. He's pretty damn sure he's still getting to the scotas with this. And by this point, the guest is just like, come on, man, don't interrupt. Just let me do a thing. You're, you're trying to show me millions of pages of evidence, so I'm just gonna come up and argue that none of us can see on a screen behind us that's doubled up for no reason that none of us can see.

Right. What the fuck, like the guy was about to shake a bag of cat food and like throw it across the room out of frame. So Mike Lindell would chase after it laser on the wall, slam into wall so he could explain his thing.

Yeah, exactly. And then he's like, and by the way, they keep saying shit like, and so it's all of the voting is rigged. Really? And there's no point never having an election again. And I'm like, I agree, Mike Lindell's viewers, never bother to vote ever, ever again. That's right, everybody. You heard it. Stay home because Hugo Chavez is just going to send your votes to Italy to be changed to Joe Biden votes Doesn't even matter. Why would he outsource that to Italy? I just so don't just do it in Venezuela, right? And I also love that Mike Lindell is like, you know, we've all heard stories where people tried to go vote and they said, you know, you've already voted here and

No, we fucking haven't but we've all heard stories where is the closest this movie will ever get to sourcing anything. Yeah, it's the closest we'll get to hearing or saying in our hearsay. Yeah, right. And we should also point out that he is peppering this argument throughout, which is really important. His main argument is that we never would have caught on to the cheating. If Donald Trump hadn't gotten more than a million votes, yes, yeah, in the presidential election. So the undercurrent of this is like, if I hadn't been able to squeeze

my butt cheeks together and hover four feet off the air, which you can see very clearly I'm doing right now, we never would have to cut onto this. Like the base assumption that all of this springs from Donald Trump winning the presidential election by 20 million votes is fantastic. Yeah, you just so to be clear, the idea is that the Democrats win and we set it up so that like 12 million votes would be illegally cast for Biden. But Donald Trump did so much better than anybody expected that that wasn't enough. And that's why we had to like shut things down and Pennsylvania and do the thing that everyone said from months leading up to the damn election we'd have to do.

Yep. Right. And also, by the way, that is predicated over and over again on the idea and he'll say it explicitly that, well, you know, if we just hadn't gotten to the votes we would have just read all the said well shucks better luck next time and we would have gone to bed that night and i'm like really you wouldn't have um... you wouldn't have questioned the integrity of the election months in advance i i wouldn't be able to find you personally michael indel doing that on social

media well i can't now because i have a so media has been erased for exactly that reason, but, you know, and I'm the way back machine. Maybe I could find it. Oh, and then he tries to say, Ravensburg again. It's the. Oh, my God.

It's and again, it's like Eli spelling came to life. It's amazing. And then he wrapped in first. Hey, he repeats that point about politicians having political agendas again. And again, or maybe they're compromised because he learned that from his good friend, Michael Flynn, that sometimes political figures are compromised by foreign nation. Well, and so and now he knows that blackmail is a kind of comfort or at least knows that blackmail then compromised are not mutually exclusive propositions because he says, or they could be blackmailed or compromised.

And he concludes this section by saying, and you got to share this everywhere. Just as soon as we get our website working again, he gets us such a, he's like a fucking cable guy. He's like anywhere from four to six weeks from now. Okay, 10 to four to 24 weeks from now, we're going to have a website. It's going to have a button at the top that says log in and you can just get right in there. Even if your name's not Logan, you can get it. You use that. Put your name. You have to be at your house between 10 a.m. and midnight or else and you have to press

the login button or else he doesn't work at the time. And then oh, and then Mike Lindell breaks into his own goddamn movie with breaking news about a confidential informant. He has breaking news inside his documentary. Also, we should point this out. It says confidential informant on the screen. He keeps calling him John. Yes, he does.

He does. And now they've disguised this guy's voice. This is not the voice filter that we loved so much that made it into Heath's best worst. This is pretty bad, right? Because I could take this audio and just like, you know, change the pitch and know what the dude sounds like. They just lowered it. They didn't even do the disguise.

They were just like, they just, my name is Frank. There's no way to know it's impossible. They also don't know how to move the blur out of his face and the guy almost moves out of it a few times. Yeah. And they have to be like, stay in the blur, stay in the blur, dude, we don't know what here we have the blur. And then they change the type of blur, the switch blur.

He obviously moved out of the blur. So many times, they were like, all right, we're going to get a premium blur. I didn't want to have to pay this 99% with a bit of pixelated moving one on five or just now. And, and okay. So first of all, this guy's evidence we will never see right we should have taken this word for it and secondly the evidence itself Well the evidence was blurred out in mock Hello, I'm evidence you care to me. I'm a spreadsheet But the evidence itself is evidence that there were phones that were connected to the internet at holding locations.

That's it. Okay. I went down a rabbit hole for this and I went to crazy camp. There is no legitimate website. It's like, hey, this is what this is. But if you go to freedom.maga.kill your dad with a, with a rusty pickaxe.org.net slash coffee. You get fined a bunch of this crazy bullshit. And the point is they give the people who are like the election monitors, these cell phones so that you can call election interference officials and be like, Hey, the machine broke or hey, but in that drunk lady, you hired to wash the glass on the front of the machine, keeps trying to zerox her butt cheeks, right? Hey, Melissa Carone is walking up and down our rows of computers and kicking the wires.

She has, she has a giant magnifying glass and keeps saying, Bellimentary, right? They get a phone. Those phones are capable of being Wi-Fi hotspots and who makes those phones? Oh Jesus Christ. Yeah. TCL. What is TCL? Hong Kong-based electronic. It's actually not even made, but it's made by a company in Europe that's partially owned by a giant. Yeah, I'll could tell from non-tair friends. Yes, but yes, they're still so stupid. Right. Okay.

So that's the conspiracy theory. But the evidence is that this guy went to, and he says, I mean, like again, we have to take his fucking word for it. He says he went with a Wi-Fi detector to the polling places where they were doing the run off during the Georgia runoff, right? And he detected that there were phones that were connected to the internet. Like people were in there. He built a raspberry pi, according to his own, and his raspberry pi picked up suspicious Wi-Fi

in the air in Georgia. He says, my device records Wi-Fi signals like a camera and I was like nope not like camera. Well more generally what do they think a hotspot does? Do they think if you turn on a Wi-Fi hotspot on a cell phone all the devices in the area fucking meld to it like the trend and like have to give all their information to it. Well, if the Chinese personally Chinese owned French company that owns the made it makes them do that. And that's right. They they set them up.

It's like how when you turn on an iPhone, you got to select the language. When you turn on a TCL phone, you have to select which election you want. Act in February 2020. But again, so yeah, we have a unknown source with evidence that we can't see that wouldn't convince us

if we knew who he was and what he was talking about. Even if he wasn't lying, it wouldn't be good evidence. And he is. Because again, all we have is a shot of his hands holding a really badly made raspberry, like a toddler's made raspberry pie. And the raspberry pie is like, there is Wi-Fi wherever this camera is shooting this way.

Yes. Somewhere in the vicinity. Yeah. All right. So on that bombshell evidence, we're gonna take a minute to collect our breath here, but first let me give Ack through the heart. So does he have a note that says we did it with the words China signed at the bottom? Will he present a photograph of a guy taking a photograph of somebody swapping out ballots. Will his big evidence reveal at the end actually be less impressive than either of those two things would be? Find out the answer to that question is yes. When we return for the rambling conclusion of absolute interference.

Flowers? Meh. Andy? Yeah, candy's good. I don't know what she likes though. Hey guys. Whatcha doing? Well, we're trying to think of what to get our moms for Mother's Day, and it's right around the corner Hmm. How about a hello Tushy? Ooh like a boy toy. Yeah, I think mom might get into that No, he's not that kind of hello Tushy the brand new hello Tushy 3.0 modern bidet attachment It's stylish eco-friendly easy to, and will help stop flushing her retirement down the toilet and TP costs. Ah, it does sound good. Hello Tushie 3.0 cleans butts like a champ, but it doesn't stop there.

It cleans itself with the smart spray automatic self-cleaning nozzle. And when we say anyone can put this shit together, we mean even your parents. Yes, yours. Hello, Tushy 3.0 attaches to their existing toilet, with no electricity, extra plumbing, or tech support facetimes, and cuts toilet paper used by 80%. So the Hello Tushy Biday pays for itself in just a few months. Wow, so it's like a gift and a money saver. That's right, Heath. Plus, every Hello Tushy Biday attachment comes with a 60 day,

risk-free guarantee and a 12 month warranty. Give the gift of a clean butt, go to HelloTushy.com, slash awful to get 10% off plus free shipping. That's a special offer for our listeners at HelloTushy.com, slash awful for 10% off. HelloTushy.com, slash awful. Thanks, Eli. Now I just need to figure out what to get Heath for his birthday. Oh, I'll think of something. Wait, no, no, no, what is it? You have to say. Don't worry about it. Just, is it a bad day? Because I already have a Hello Tushy. He's gone. He's gone.

Oh, I should probably check my email. No, no! Dude, my laptop! Eli, did you get it in time? Just barely, Heath. Just barely. What are you guys talking about? Get what? Yeah, no, I hate to break it to you, but your laptop was compromised.

Compromised by who? China. Obviously. My laptop was who? China. Obviously. My laptop was compromised by China. Yeah, yeah, we have it on good authority. That several of the parts in your laptop were made in China. What? Yeah, the casing, some of the microchips maybe, all made in China.

You are welcome. The case, guys, just because the thing is made in China doesn't mean it's compromised by China. It doesn't? No. I mean, I guess I can see how you might think that if the whole thing was made in China altogether, but you can't hack a computer by making the laptop casing.

Are you sure you can't do that? I feel like you can. Oh, a likely story from a guy who had Chinese food for lunch. Get him, he can't compromise. Come from my unplug him. Unplug him. Interesting.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And we're back. We're still more of this shit. And now it's time to welcome back is Kookie X military guys. This is general macaroni and Colonel Waldron. Okay.

General macaroni decided to hold perfectly still and spend his entire appearance looking like he's watching a laser slowly cut James Bond back. It's not clear that he's not actually doing. We're right. Exactly. That's fair. I also want to point out that general macaroni is way way way fucking crazier than Phil Waldron, which is saying a lot. Yeah.

So every time Phil Waldron will be like, yeah, you know, we checked on those IP addresses, macaroni will be like, I'm so sorry to interrupt you. COVID was a deliberate biological attack by the Communist Party. Yeah. That's not an exaggeration. He said, no, it is. It's bio warfare from the Communist Party of China. And they apparently shut down capitalism by getting us Joe Biden.

Yeah. Communist. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. He goes, like, this is the Chinese doctrine of unrestricted warfare. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, it's only the Chinese people that had a form of Belom Romano. Yeah. He calls it. He says, yeah, he says unrestricted warfare. And he says, it goes back to Sun Zhu and Mao Zedong. I was like, yeah, they worked together on it. I'm a lot of people. You do that.

Yep. He even recommends the book. He's like, you can go to Barnes and Noble and buy Mao's book. I was like, what? I can buy it in football. That's Barnes and Noble. Barnes and Noble. Yes.

You can go to the Barnes and Noble near Burlington Coat Factory on 15 if he wants. You can go down to the Woolworth and you can go to the Barnes and Noble near Burlington coat factory on 15 if you want you can go down to the wall worth He says at one point I love this so goddamn much. He says you know socialism is the front door to communism And I'm like do you mean the back door? The front door to communism and I'm like, do you mean the back door dude? Because the front door to communism is communist. Oh, fucking Mike Lindell tries to show for Frank's speech. I tried to diagram his sentence here. I wound up with a mandal brought set. It was really fucking weird. Yeah, although we do get his lawyers first diving

on the car, he goes on the other social media platforms. You talk about the vaccine, you almost get arrested. Blackout. He starts to say another word and everything. Blacks the fuck out. We come back and he's got a blackout. Okay. My favorite part of this whole scene though is Mike Lindell.

He has to not talk for some time here because he has two guests at the same time. Yep. So most of the time he's just scrolling up and down his giant list of millions of cells of spreadsheet for no reason. But a bunch of times he keeps moving his mouse onto the screen. During his Zoom call and it's fucking him. Like he clearly like yelled at at one point and then you see Lindell with his hands clasped together in front of him to a boy touching his mouse and they start shaking. Oh, don't do it.

The mouse so bad. Oh, I got some funny cartoons in the other tabs. And I just want to watch him for a second. Well, Colonel McInerney calls that members of our defense team cancer. Oh, yeah. Right. And so this one is, it's beautiful too. Because like Colonel Doug Waldron is going like, yeah, well, and you know, the reason that our state apparatus didn't catch this hack as it was happening is because they didn't know what to look for. And Macon Ernie Cussin is like, no, no, no, they did catch it.

There are a bunch of fucking liars. That's what happened, dog. Dog, my communist. The US military and intelligence apparatus, those notorious socialist communists, no Democrat military people, those liberal bastions of the military and the intelligence community. This is where he also tells the audience that this is their eWagema. Oh, God. Is it general macaroni? Is this movie on Mike Lindell's non-functional website? Your eWoodpea. Just US Marines stacking up zeros and ones in the rain.

There's also, at the end of this interview with the two crazies, this is great moment. They don't just cut away to the new information. So we watch Mike Lindell be like, good stuff, guys. I love you big kisses. Yeah. So forever. And I just want to reflect on the where we are at this point in the movie, right? Keep in mind that up until now, what's going on is that they're accusing the Democrats of having done the thing that Trump actually did, but as filtered through the imaginations of deeply stupid people who don't know how anything works, right?

The fan, Michael Flynn. Yeah, the guy who did it. Yeah, the thing he did, with the guests of one of the people he did it with. Oh, that's right, because this is where Mike Flynn shows back up and they're like, they literally cut right to Mike, Mike Flynn here. Yes, they're like, we had to work good shit with that guy. And this is this is Mike Lindell. Mike Lindell telling you to go to us. Hey, are you a crazy person watching this? You got to pay attention to local politics. Go to a city council meeting and yell into the middle. Yes. Well, at first

that's what I thought he was doing. I thought he was sick and these viewers on city councils. What is doing is encouraging them to run for God damn office. Yes, how terrifying is that? And you know what? Do it, Michael and tell viewers. Oh, please, my bread and butter. Yeah, I mean, no, no, no, no, no. We have more important concerns here.

Okay. Is this where Michael Flynn explains that the Dominion machines are kind of like a milk carton at the store that doesn't have an ingredients list? Yes. What ingredients does he think are in milk? He would like to look at the side of a voting machine and see votes metal mill. Yeah, exactly. So, and the way he gets into this and this is fucking amazing, right?

He's like, look, if Mike sold pillows that had broken glass inside of them, that's how he's going to get into is we need to know what's in the voting machine's conversation. But when he says that Mike Lindell is so very clearly panicking, right? Like you can see bees are sweat just popping up. He's like, Oh, I don't like this. I don't like what this is now. Let's just go and please don't please don't. And then he goes like, but we need to know what's inside of

things. He's like, Oh, okay. I don't know exactly what that means, but I think you're not telling anybody about that time that we end that problem with them. Pillars. And then they show us a video of somebody unscrewing computer boxes to find the evil algorithm. Yes. Like, like, there's a secret boxed-up area secured by screws that has the Biden votes inside. You can tell, those are the blue wires.

You got to cut them and then America comes back. Also, by the way, during this moment, Lindell and Michael Flynn have two very suspect cell phones on their desk. Probably made in China. Probably doing some stealing. Probably also don't forget to get your beef jerky. They paid for two ads, wanted to be getting it in the middle. Yep, wanted to be an ad.

And this is where Mike Lindell tries to say, when you look up Patriot in the dictionary, you get a picture of general Flynn, which would already be funny, but what he actually says is, so when you, if you, was you, if you, when you dictionary, if you go there to the dictionary stores, he actually got one. Remember dictionaries folks. If you buy one, Mike Lindell at the dictionary, depot, they'll sell you a picture of him's self. Oh, look, here's a video of him when he was still allowed to wear his military. Remember that. You remember when you were on stage at the Republican National Convention going, lock her up while you were a spy. I was committing crimes. I've got, I've shocked

that my country, Tizzle, they didn't start playing during this. It comes close. They go beyond that at the end of the day. They do. Also, just really quick reminder, the only places in 2020 that did not have a paper trail for their ballots were some counties in seven states, all except one went to Trump. The other one was Jersey. There's no dispute on any of those states. Yes. It's, it's, this is so fucking ridiculous in the way that they make the argument just even worse than the argument. So so we we finish up with Michael Flynn and then Mike Mike three goddamn decibels higher

all of sudden says now for the moment we've all been waiting for and if they have a moment moment waiting for. Yeah. Thank you. Recreating the moment there. Yeah. If the credits enrolled there, that would have been great, but they didn't. I thought he was full of shit, right? I was like, no, the moment I'm waiting for is the end, but I didn't know about the goddamn voice filter yet. Okay. So before we get to that,

he has to spend a long time pointing out that nobody discredited his first movie. And I'm like, oh, no, we totally discredited. We nailed it. The thing is is that we just got it for everybody after everybody heard us. They're like, yeah, that's pretty much all you need to go fuck yourself is really all the reputation that's needed. And to be clear, the moment we've all been waiting for, he thinks is minute 95 of his second movie. That's happening right now. Yeah. So now what he's going to do, this is the big reveal, right? This is the big evidence. He's going to have the evidence from the last movie, the unsourced spreadsheet of attacks on our election that he showed us in the last movie.

He's going to have that verified, whatever the hell that means, by an expert whose identity he's not going to reveal to us. But he assures us that he has an online certificate, which is the highest standard in cybersecurity. They don't even show us the certificate. I googled this. They literally took a screenshot of the top of the page where you go to get the certificate. Let me be clear. The thing that they show us is not the certificate.

It is the header from the website where you get the certificate. Right. Right. So the credentials we have are this man's claim that he's quote, been around computers a long time. But he's a ninth degree black belt. I'm going to cry. I'm going to say for security.

When they go over the bar graphs of his credentials, this was fucking crazy, okay? Yeah, because we couldn't read them. Not only could we not read them, he did not possess all the skills listed on the bar graphs. Right, right. So Mike Lindell pulls up these color coded graphs and he's like, so point on this graph to where you are in terms of your cybersecurity expertise.

And he's like, I'm more the yellow. This one right here. And this is where they have to admit he's a yellow belt. Yeah, yellow belt. He's like, really? It's fourth degree yellow belt for you to arrive. I was laughing so much by this point. This is a hilarious movie.

Well, okay, yeah, but so they're doing, this is the thing though is that they're doing the disguised voice thing. But Mike Lindell, as we have already established, cannot shut the fuck up and let other people talk. And they don't know how to do the voice change thing on just one of their mics. So as this guy is doing his voice, Michael and Delo will keep coming in going. Right, right. I see. Okay. Okay. You can't believe it. And it is the single. Okay. It's the second funniest thing

that ever happens. The funniest thing is later on when I shit you not at one minute thirty nine thirty five of this movie someone unmistakably farts into that sound filter. That is the best part of the. A blurgers just starts floating out from I like that. I'm a fart. Please don't sue me for 1.6 billion dollars. I just love the thought that it's like the sound guy on stage. He's like, oh, and I got a good one. Hold on. Because it happens more than once. They just got it. They didn't cut the snowboard. They watched this before they put it on the internet. They were like, she really keeps the board on the phone. She is pissed. I'm fucking

the person. It's the most amazing thing in the world. And we should point out the guy said next to him and they've got his whole body button. He looks like a goddamn Minecraft creeper. Well, this is all gone. And they're showing the hexadestimal. He's got a screen full of hexadestimal up there. And he's like, tell us what we're looking at.

I don't know, man. I don't read hexadestimal. But you're saying that this could be something. I mean, it could. It could be porn, dude. Alchemist, there's no letter Z's in Ohio. What's going on here? Conspiracy. Oh, but he explains that this hexadecimal is a cyber footprint locked in time. So that when this does go to the Supreme Court, it's the best evidence for chain of

custody. Oh, and again, they don't tell us where they got it. They even talk about chain of custody, but they never tell us where this information came from. They imply that this came from voting machines, which if it were true, it's not, but if it were true, it's a huge crime, right? This is a crazy lie that if it were true is like treasonous level felony like we stole this election data using this guy in his fart you can All right, so now that the star of the first movie finally shows up. That's right the flight map where you can see the votes flying China to the United States.

But they didn't cut the top off this time. So you can very, they say layover city. If you pause it, you can see they have a layover city listed for the cities. And how long how long a layover you have between the fucking packs. A lot of the votes had to stop and rate you, Vic. It just makes sense geographically. You're used to their recatur projections,

so it doesn't seem like it to you. But yes. But yes, so they show us the lines of the graphic. The red ones are the hacks that didn't make it. The green ones are the ones where they changed the vote, you see, and this has been rendered into a graphic. So with that, obviously, it's sufficient to prove that it's real. Oh my God. I honestly, I almost felt bad for this blurred guy because he has to try to explain what

Mike Lindell thinks he's trying to say. And this guy's like, okay, apparently you think hacking is a missile fine. And green missiles are hacking. Great. So the red ones are checking to missile the next. Oh, checking those are assistant to the regional hacking. Well, and then I love how he keeps accidentally undercutting what it because he's like, he's like, and this is the map of all of the hacks that happen. He's like, right? And he's like, they happen in all 50 states, right? And he's like, yeah, he's like, even Alaska and Hawaii. And the

map so very clearly doesn't have any lines going to Alaska or Hawaii. It's so clearly just the continental United States and the guys like, uh, yeah, he's like scooting over a little bit. He's like, can you blow this? can you blow them out now? All fart in front of the map. But you're out of it. All right, so now we know the green ones and the red ones. What's the purple one and the guy that's great, man, I don't know. That's great.

You're supposed to the gray packs. All right, but we got that graphic long enough. Now we're going to look at another spreadsheet that again is too far away from us to see. They don't even let it take over the screen. It's just on the screen behind the two of these guys when they're talking about it. Now this particular spreadsheet is supposed to be looking specifically at 19 of the different hacks on his little airline hacky screen. Right. So what this is, you remember that big

fucking lie chart he had at the end of the last movie where he was like, look at all these numbers. Oh my gosh, where do we get these numbers? According to Mike Lindell, people were like, I don't know, man, did you put those on a spreadsheet and he's like, all right, we're making a new movie. I think people will really be convinced if we put it on a spreadsheet.

Well, and so he keeps saying that he validated those numbers, right? Because people clearly told him like the people that are, you know, whatever in his life that'll watch his stupid movie and actually be honest with him are like, okay, dude, you presented a bunch of data, but you didn't validate anything. We don't know where it came from or what it is. We just have to take it. So now he keeps saying he had it validated. Yep.

Now, what the guys do is go, like, yeah, we checked and that is a real IP address validated. Done. Yeah. He also explains, blurred out security, fart, also explains that he had to convert the raw data from Chinese. Yeah. They had Chinese hexadecimal. One's and zero's.

Yeah, just to help everyone out, that's Ling and Ye. And then, of course, Mike Lindell has never heard of a laser pointer and has no ability to highlight the cells on the spreadsheet behind them. So this is where he starts standing up to point at the various cells. It's a me. He keeps getting way too close to blur fart guy. Yeah. So that's the point at the stupid screen.

There's two screens. He could be pointing to the one closer to him. We can't see it either way. It's right. It's just moving your mouse around. We saw it, but Bler guy has to keep awkwardly backing up and like sliding his chair almost out of the blur. Yeah. Like, then, Del's not in his face with a penis in his face. It's so sweet. Like, remember, this is a borat bit standing up in the middle of the interview. It looks ridiculous. He's not lit up there. He also says you don't have an IP address unless you're connected to the internet. I guess your computer disappears the minute you're not on the internet. And this, oh, sorry, this is one of my favorite moments. One of the columns

on the bullshit spreadsheet says network code. And so Mike Lenzell, who's been going column by column, goes, what's network code mean? And blurred guy goes, that's the codified. End of sentence. Yes. Yes. And then he carries on and he goes and Mike Lindell goes, okay, so cyber guys know this stuff and then he comes. That guy earlier had to explain what the column for date and time was after he did launch a dude. He asked him to do latitude as well. Yeah.

So and then he goes and they have on the spreadsheet. It's like source, right? And and 18 of the 19 of them say China and one of them says North Korea. And he says, so these all came from China, right? And security fart guys like, yep, they all came from China. And I'm like, I can see the chart. It's not all. I can barely see it, but I can be. I know that that's wrong. Like your chart is bullshit, at least get your bullshit chart.

Right. like your chart is bullshit at least get your bullshit chart right. So here's the other thing that we have to kind of highlight here. I because I don't know where he got his information. He never explains where these hacks are coming from, right? How he knows any of this shit. But the idea that there are various computers in China that try to hack into various computers in the United States on the night of the election

Right like that proposition is 100% I know that doesn't exist in physics, but that is 100% true, right? Yeah, obviously at every fucking moment there are computers from everywhere trying to hack into computers from everywhere Right, and that's the, if his evidence is correct, that's still all he would be showing us. Yes. There are a good deal of computers in China and the United States at every moment.

Yes. Yes, exactly. That is this point. And again, he never even compares it to like the normal amount of traffic. No, he wouldn't even begin to understand the normal amount of traffic. No, he wouldn't even begin to understand the normal amount of traffic. If there was one computer that attempted to hack

one computer during the month of November, it would still have been called absolute proof there would have just been less line. I'm right. Paris, there weren't like submarine routes for some of these hacks that went through like a oh sure like a went, go through the Suez. I know it's ironic because he is a literal crackhead who is very obviously still on crack,

but you know what a crackhead is lying to you and they add a bunch of weird, unnecessary detail about why they need to swipe into the subway. Right, they can't just be like, I need to swipe into the subway. They've got to be like, and then the pigeon grabbed my wallet. Yeah, I'm in the sky with Spider-Man, started to karate. That's this document. I got shot with a grape flavored missile. I don't know what was happening today.

This is the grape flavored missiles of documentaries. Yeah. Right. Right. And then at the end of this whole presentation, he turns to fucking, we get another goddamn audible fart from the uh... and the smeltzer and he turns into the little one and you can you can hear it going

and it's low but it's like that's what I started thinking it was a vindictive sound guy that's still my theory that like whoever it is who had to operate the camera was just done with this shit by the end. Just farting it to him. Absolutely not Michael Flynn. You just sit right there. I'm gonna press my ass to your chest for the entirety of this interview. If you want to ride home in the in the set van, put up with this.. Yes, right at the very end of all that, he turns to this guy and he goes, so there's everything on this spreadsheet that you yourself created.

This is all 100% accurate person who hasn't identified themselves, correct? And he's like, yep, yep. And he's like, well, there you go. I don't know what more you could possibly, what? Oh, so okay, so we cut away from that conversation in the middle of somebody's fucking point and suddenly the number 518,617 is sitting there with no indication how they arrived at it.

But that's the number of votes that they're saying were flipped in those 19 attacks that we just saw. Matt. Yep. So magic happened and then yeah, I want to point out all bullshit numbers end in seven for some reason. I don't know why they always end them in seven. But yeah, out of nowhere, that number appears and he's like, look, that's the number of

votes just from those 19 attacks. And then we divvy those up in these five states. And what do you know, Trump won by a lot of votes when we did all that. Okay. Trump won by a lot of votes when we did all that. Okay, but everything Noah just said had about 19 cuts to make it all. Yeah. What was happening to those like that would have fucked up their math about nothing. What was happening in the cut? He was just getting destroyed.

Oh, maybe there was a lot of fart and they couldn't, they just lay was a point where they're like, all right, well, we can hear it now, Dave. Come on. Dave, now you're just shitting. I'm just shitting onto my clothes, just and his, he's quiet weeping is getting big. So then, yeah, so then we cut to the MSNBC clip of Adam Schiff going like, well, you know, China's very good at cyber espionage and they're like, gotcha. See? Or as Mike Lindell calls him, Adam Schiff.

Yeah, yeah, see, doesn't get any of the names right? Oh, he says that they stole your corporate trade secrets. And I just want to say it'd be fucking awesome if China steals our corporate trade secrets. I don't scare them off for good. Now you have to smoke the whole pack of puzzle in a thunderstorm corporate trade. Some Chinese guy comes runs and going, I'm out. I'm out. No, I'm done. I'm just can't. I don't can't. You can send me to the place where you send the weavers. Guys, if we tried two characters doing something wacky at the beginning of the sketch and then they touch on it again at the end of the sketch when the copy is done Just got this hot off the presses. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh and we have to point this out because this is one of the worst goddamn film fuckups that we've ever gotten to see in the MSNBC clip

film fuckups that we've ever gotten to see in the MSNBC clip, the loading bar, right? Like they buffer the clips within the movie. I thought that was happening to me. I thought my fucking computer was supposed to, but I kept going back because I noticed it was in your notes. And I'm like, is that, and I kept going and it is the buffering bar is baked into the goddamn movie. It's the movie. It's fucking amazing. It's fucking amazing.

It loads, it loads in the movie. It loads in the movie. We watch Mike Lindell do a Windows update and a full set. Oh, man, I said to him tonight. Oh, all right. So we cut back to Mike for the for a wrap up, right? And he's standing in a spot where the lighting can't get him. It's so good. Oh, you can hear a PA off screen being like left. Yeah. You're left. Oh my God. And it's a left. God, And, and of course, during this little outro, he seems to be under the impression that the

name of this video is absolute proof times two. Absolutely. So he says that open over again and he's talking about how awful things have gotten to where like you can't say anything. He's like, you know, you can't say anything about vaccines on social media without getting sued for it. I'm like, I can. Weird that you get. He's very points out that he has friends who have lost their podcasts over this. I'm like, Oh, dear. No, that's okay. Okay. Okay. Now this is serious. Okay. We're having a lot of fun here with Mike

Lindoblin. Let's not just go away taking people's podcasts. Sorry. It matters. But he's pitching his social media site that again, does it work? He tells us it's going to be like YouTube and Twitter combined. That's the best crazy stupid person thing where they take two products that wouldn't be good if they were combined. And they're like, oh, trust me, this is going to be like a car and a latte together. And you're like, oh, trust me. This is going to be like a car and a latte together. And you're like, why would I have it? It's like a Barnes and Noble and a high-fi system. Oh, it's mess together once.

And he says it'll be the most safe and secure website ever. And I'm like, hey, guys, you're doing a bang up job so far. Okay. I will have you know that I just checked and Frankspeech.com now has all of the social media logos on it. Okay. Oh, yeah. You can share Frank speech.com on Reddit or on LinkedIn. I don't think you can actually.

It's not a media proof times too. Yeah. And he goes like during his little wrap up here, he goes like, now what you see here tonight is just a small portion of what we have. I was like, we've seen nothing. Right. So if you have anything at all, we have seen less than a small portion. Does he say that he proved that socialism is not just having a cup of coffee and socialize?

He does. He does say that. Yes. Yep. What? Which is terrifying. That's true, but you didn't prove it, but that's terrifying because that implies that his audience was against it when they thought it was just a couple of pukes.

I don't want to make small talk about my kids hobbies. Fucking Bernie Sanders trying to give me a scone. And then he repeats that sad little fantasy that he's going to go to the Supreme Court. They're going to all agree with Mike Bill O'9 to nothing. And then Donald Trump will get to be president. And everyone will come together and there won't be any trans or gay people will stop killing the babies. It'll be great. Oh, and you're going to share this movie just as soon as I can upload it to my WordPress

site. And then of course, because it is Republican masturbation material, he has to end on the obligatory Ronald Reagan quote about, well, the Ronald Reagan paraphrase about how America was the most important country. And you know what? He was right. The Reagan quote said, this is the last stand on earth. And I'm like, was it though?

That was a long time ago. There's a different thing. How did the Vietnam War go, Ronald Reagan? Thing you're talking about? No. No. I wouldn't have been Vietnam. And then of course, flag, eagle, Mount Rushmore, Lincoln Memorial.

It might as well end with Ben Shapiro buying wood at home depot as the patriotic blow. The end. depot as the patriotic Alright, so one thing that we definitely learned within this film is that Mike Lindell has more docus movies in mind so and the other thing we learned of course is that he's gonna need some help in the title to burn and He thoughts on what he could call his next movie. Oh And he thought so on what he could call his next movie. Oh, absolute infinity times infinity. Oh, nice. Absolute Googleplex absolute zero Kelvin infinity.

All right, well, that's going to do a subtext subtitle all the proving my whole thing about learn out far still in the great election missiles 360 p. It was the best of times. It was the worst. All right. Well, that's, well, that's going to do it for our review of absolute interference. That's what I think they landed on. That's not going to do it for the episode yet because we still need to talk ourselves into doing this again next week.

So Eli, tell us what's on deck. Well, Noah, you will once again be gone. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. Well, Noah, you will once again be gone for oral surgery, which means it's time for Heath and I to fulfill the promise we made just a week ago to watch the 1990s near death experience horror movie, that is flatliners. I remember loving that movie when I saw it in the end.

So perhaps it's best that it remains unsullied in my mind. And with that to look forward to, we're going to bring up episode 297 to a merciful close once again a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors to help make the show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com. So I got off on there by orderly access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help a ton by leaving us a five star review where every year I'll have to do that and share the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows,

the skating ad, the estate, the D our sibling shows, the Skating Aids, the Sitation Aids, D&D Minus, and the Skape Grant available wherever podcast live. If you have questions, comments, or send them as suggestions, you can name them on VodoffemoviesTheGmail.com, legal services for this podcast provided by the law, if this is a P.N. Driftourist, Tim Robbins, and takes care of our social media. Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotney, we will dress on Mars. All of the music was written and performed by our Hollywood, Giorgio Morgan Clark, and was used with permission.

Thanks again for giving us a ton of your life this week. For Heath and right, Neelye Lai Bosnick, I'm Lola Lus. Thanks again for giving us a ton of life this week. For Heathen right in the live-house, I'm Louis Lucius wishing that I'd let somebody else do the outro this week. Until then, we'll leave you with a reckless club close. Mike Lindell and Michael Flynn both went on to never finish a sentence. Hahaha. Noah's Facebook ads went on to be fucking hilarious for today. Absolute proof 3 was just Mike Lindell loudly farting while running a purple pran back

and forth across the map from China to the United States for 120 minutes. He did a 48 hour thon. There was crack in the box. You can't do literally anything without crack for 48. I've never done anything with the thon suffix without crack. Yeah, that's a true statement. It's all thons are crack. I've also never done crack, but it's still a true statement. Right. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Interstitial two. I could run a marathon on a crack. Nope. Hey, Trink. Yep.

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