God Awful Movies - 302: Sons of Thunder, Episode 3

Episode Date: June 1, 2021

This week Cara Santa Maria joins us once again for an atheist review of Sons of Thunder, episode 3. It's the story of a giant of a man repeatedly sneaking up on people. Other stuff happens, sure, but it hardly seems consequential enough to mention in comparison. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out more from Cara on the Talk Nerdy podcast Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

She's like, yeah, I'll show you a room. And he's like, ah, ma'am, I should sleep in a different building to, you know, avoid heterosexual intercourse between the two of us because I'm very track. Temptation would be a problem. And she's like, yeah, yeah, close one, close one, yeah. And he literally says the words, I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong impression. And I'm like, you just established that there are no other human beings within your side. I'll tell you what, I'll stay in this room if Mike Pence can stay outside the door all night to make sure you don't come in and take a peeper's at my johnson or my buddy cheeks.

God awful! Movie! Who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be who be from suburban New Jersey, Eli Bosnick, Eli, that's a description of you, how's it going? Oh, well, I was better before you introduced me like you got your notes for my depression, but I'm okay, Gigi, how are you? I'm from Cincinnati, so whatever that means. And we also have veteran massacres. We're dropping the word guest.

She's an official regular, dedicated bar stool, the whole thing. Cara Sanemore is here. Cara, welcome back. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Great question. Great question. Wait, and by the way, Heath, I think I'm older than you lie. So thank you. But not appearance wise. You play younger. Let's all be honest. Yeah. We lie. How old are you? I'm 33. Oh my God, you're a baby. Yeah, I'm really, I just look like a minor scost. I'm actually not a minor scost.

He's how old are you? I'm 39. I'm going to be 40. I'm 39. We don't need to like do counting. Thank you. No counting. Good.

I'm 37. You'll always be older to be. Huh? That's right. We'll always be older than me. Huh? We're both from the Reagan administration. First term. Let's all just own it. All right, Kara. 40. What are we going to be breaking down today? Let's talk about it. Well, I have no idea what I just watched. So I can't. It was an utter blur. I don't know what that was. It was called Sons of Thunder. But for some reason, you guys made me watch episode three. Do I really loss?

All right. Well, that's a good point. I guess we should get Kara caught up on the Sons of Thunder phenomenon because the plot is fucking nonsense. So the main character, you met him now. It's an ex-biker gang member who found Jesus and got a job as a nomadic hobo with a heart of gold. Yes, his job now. He drives around Texas, looking for work, and he bothers the people who hire him about some kind

of God thing until those people make him leave. Not just the episode you just saw, that's all of them. That's the formula of this show. Eli, am I missing anything important? Anything else? He has a mysterious backstory about a lady who turned him to Jesus, which you also saw the episode. Yeah, so no, nothing to add. You're all caught up. There you go. All right. He has no name too, right? This is a thing like no use of a first name through the whole show.

Oh, wow. He doesn't get named in this episode. His name is Simon in the show, but they forgot about that for the episode. I was going to say gun to my head. I could not tell you this character. He's Simon like Simon Peter, Peter Simon Bible guy, right? Something like that. Yeah, no, that's a name in the Bible for sure.

Yeah. All right. Well, Eli, how bad was this episode three of this television show? Well, if you love gritty biker shows, but you like your plots, added the way most people remember to turn the oven off. You will love this television show. Oh, it's pretty good. I know it's horrible, but I actually enjoy watching these.

I don't know. I'm like locked in. I'm into these. I'm going to start binge watching them. I think they're still making them. According to IMDB, it's like 2019 until still going. They're still working on it. Okay, but Keith, keep in mind that they're also working on a third revelation road movie

according to I have some dreams don't come true. David, they are white. Really needs money. Yeah. All right. Is there anything y'all would like to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Well, I don't know.

I'm kind of torn because I want to say best worst beard. Actually, right down, best worst beard and changed it. Yeah, but I feel like I was wondering if maybe you had already done a best worst beard. So, so then I was thinking best worst use of a red camera because they paid some money for those cameras in the show. Oh, yeah. They didn't know how to use them, but they paid some good money for the cameras. Yeah, there's a budget behind this. Yeah. Your flex money.

David Harwite and Andrea Logan White money happen. They're getting divorced. So I was going to go with best worst actor reel. There's an actor reel. I put a link for it. It's on YouTube. So the star of this show, who plays Simon, Randall Reader, the giant nomadic Jesus Hobo, his real is fucking amazing. Most of it, it's just tiny little clips where he has one little line and he's technically in the same shot as an actor you've heard of. So like his pitch for getting a job is basically like, I've set a sentence next to Ed Norton and Josh Brolin very quickly. Oh yeah, look at Channing Tatum. Yeah. Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill. Yeah. No way. He was in 21 jump street. Yeah. A big chunk of the reel is just 21 jump street happening and he's technically

in it for a second. Hey, good on him. Yeah, I mean, he's had jobs. He was in castle. He was in those, you know, bro, he was in George the W movie with, with Brolin. But the end of this real, which you're probably about to get to if you're watching right now, it ends with him getting ready to sexually abuse Harold and Kumar at Guantanamo Bay Prison. That's the finale of the real, about what kind of acting jobs he's perfect for. They say clothes on your best work. And that is absolutely, and he's done it. His best work. You know what else I love?

It's like, you know how some actors really transform themselves. You know, they're like, they're method and they become the character. And other actors are the same dude in every movie and they're in, The beard doesn't change. No, no, I think he's in the same clothes throughout that entire real of different movies. I have two priory here. First, we can afford to hire this actor. Yes, we can. Second of all,

we want him to shave off his garden home beard. Conclusion. We hire him for a fake movie. Tell him to shave off his garden home beard. He's a great idea. Renew his entire career. I want him to have a beard fight with you, Eli Bosnick, in reality. Oh, his beard would take bite in a second. This is the pretty, this is looking pretty close to his actual idea. Mine is just, I would love someone else to hold my baby the beard.

I'd see, I'm going to hold my baby the beard. And see, I'm going to go with best worst sneaking as we get to that already. It's amazing. I love that. Yeah, this is a larger channel than he's like nine feet tall. He's eight hundred pounds. He's a former professional wrestler amateur professional wrestler. He's enormous. Yeah.

And you know what? I'm going to leave it there. We'll get to it when we get to it. That guy does some sneaking. That's, and it's the best worst. Absolutely. All right. Well, we're going to take a quick break while I go ahead and cancel my pureflex trial before I get charged again, because you know, once again, I did not find the entertainment I was looking for. I keep trying with them. And I just genuinely don't find what I'm looking for. And then we'll be right back to tell you all about Suns of Thunder, Episode three, Hunter Hunted.

All right, how about this? Like, Gah! Okay, so no, that's your loa-jul. Okay, but I feel like it's gonna contribute to the whole thing, right? Less than you think. Hey guys, what are you doing here?

What's Mars doing? What am I doing here? Oh, you know, yeah, I've just been feeling a little down lately, you know, anxiety, depression, that kind of thing. So Mars is helping me get a stiff upper lip. And I'm getting ahead. No, I'm just going to go over here with that. So just, okay, don't worry about it.

Anyway, Mars, yeah, I think I'm getting it. The stiff upper lip thing. I think I'm getting it. The stiff upper lip thing. I think I'm getting it. He's not. No, he's not. Well, Heath, if something's interfering with your happiness or is preventing you from achieving your goals, why don't you just try better help? Oh, what's better help?

Better help will assess your needs and match you with your own license professional therapist. It's not a crisis line. It's not self-help, it's professional counseling done securely online. Wait, so I can do real counseling online? You sure can. Plus, there's a broad range of expertise available which may not be locally available in many areas, so if you need a therapist whose sex work positive, secular, or trans-affirming, they can help you with that. Okay, you know, that does sound pretty great.

I don't suppose they got like an English version, have they? Actually, the service is available for clients worldwide. And best of all, better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches, so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed. Oh, so there's no awkward therapist breakups? Exactly. It's more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available. Visit betterhelp.com slash awful. That's better. H E L P and join over a million people who have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and God off the movie's listeners

will get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash awful. Thanks Noah. That sounds great. Okay, Marsh back on the plane, I guess. Seriously, it's, it's like a six hour flight and then two weeks quarantine, can I, can I not just stay for lunch? I mean, you could, but you are as cookin' today. Okay, yeah, no, I'll, I'll eat on the plane. Yeah, that's for the same thing. You guys want tofu on your tofu? No. Well, you tell that you know what? That I'll rot in HE double hockey sticks before she gets a penny more. One second. Hey, Dave, you got a second. Yeah. What is it, Phil? I'm just dealing with some divorce stuff right now. Right, right. The divorce that thing you made movies about not doing for like a decade, you know.

Yeah, I did. I did. I made movies for more than a decade about how you should never, you should never divorce. Ever do that. That was the theme. Yeah.

Like a whole movie dedicated just to it. Just the entire movies. Yeah. It's weird that you're doing that now. Do you have a question for me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a question. So you know our Biker show, Suns of Thunder.

Oh, yeah, I do. Yeah, so we had a bit of a mix up over at the printer and rather than shoot three episodes, what happened is we shot the three different drafts of the same episode. So it's just the exact same story three times. Oh, really? Yeah.

So we're three episodes in and literally nothing new has happened. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, how are the viewing numbers? Four. Oh, that's not bad. Four points of the share. That's no, no, no, no, no, no, four people watched it. Oh, then yeah. Well, then it's probably fine to leave the episodes as they are then. Hmm. Who, who are the four people? Yeah, it's got awful movies again. It's got awful movies. Yeah. Okay. Well, then let's, let's keep it as it is. Yeah, we'll do. And a good look at that divorce. Sorry about that. She wants my race car bed, Phil. Yeah, real sorry to hear that, sir. Thank you. And we're back. And we're going to start with another movie crew killing a deer just like the last time Carol was on. Coincidence, we promise. And enormous wrestler guy just crashed his motorcycle into a deer.

That's where we're going to start. We start with a woman is a dead deer lying there. His motorcycle is tipped over and the one goes, did you hit that deer? And I wrote my notes, no, he and I were playing chicken and his car vaporized. But the fuck do you think that? I crashed my motorcycle and then a deer walked over and died next to me just by chance. It took me a while to realize that, I mean, it said all over your notes, dead deer, dead deer, and I'm like,

where's the deer? I'm like watching this in the middle of the night. And the deer was like the size of a raccoon. Like it was so small in the middle of the road. This was a last pick, dear for sure. Yeah. So the first thing I'm thinking in this scene small in the middle of the road. This was a last pic, dear for sure. So the first thing I'm thinking in this scene is, A, what am I watching? And B, what would Jesus do? He'd wear a fucking helmet. That's what.

This guy's doing driving around with that helmet. So to be fair, if you're Simon, what do you have to lose? You know what I'm saying? It's not like there's a bunch of brain cells rattling around in there. He's fine though. So this woman who finds his crash there, she says, like, what are you lost to something? And he explains how this show works to her. He's like, no, I'm a pneumatic Christian biker.

I just ride around until like a plot happens, I guess. Maybe it's you, maybe you're the plot. And turns out she is. Well, there's a good argument to be made. He does not find a plot in this episode, but I get where you're going for you the episode. And did you guys get a fucky vibe from her invite? I definitely got a fucky vibe. She was like, why don't you come back to my place and fix your hog if you know what I mean?

And then. Yeah. Oh, for sure. She's a woman who lives all alone on a massive property and never sees other human beings yet. She was wearing a full face of makeup. And she's like given him bedroom eyes. Absolutely.

Like, why would you invite that man specifically to your home? She is not good at making decisions in this woman. Not good. Hey, different strokes for different folks. I get it. Also, this is the first point in the show where nobody introduces themselves and that theme continues.

So she's basically like, hello scary man. Would you like to come back to my house? And he's like, yes woman, I will. And never again, Neri again, do they use a name? It's so weird. It's Simon and Kelly just so we can reference them, but no, they didn't tell that. Thank you.

Secret information that only IMDB has. So, we're back at her place, which Kara, I know you haven't watched the other two episodes so far, but her place looks super similar to the other two ranches. We've been in so far in this. Yes. Yes. Also, one other thing you should be aware of is this guy Simon just stops in the middle of real life things happening to him and has flashbacks to like old meth deals. Like every five minutes or so, he's going to have to do that. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I got that that was a flashback. It started to make some sense. I mean, I wanted to first understand what the show was because of course we see the sons of thunder header at the top and I'm thinking to myself, so this is like sons of anarchy, but like Christy, like they couldn't come up with a Absolutely correct. That's that's the pitch written on the front of the square. The whole elevator pitch right there. You said, yep. Okay. All right. Just to be clear, got it.

Yeah. He flashes back and we see Merrick Von Hogg. Maverick. Maverick Von Hogg cuts clothing van hogg and he got, so again, I know you weren't there for episode one and two, but Maverick Von Hogg got new tattoos between episodes. Wait, is this the guy who was literally covered in tattoos? Yes. Okay.

He did not have an entire black spot on that shoulder in the last episode. And I feel like that kind of fucks up the flashback. Herflex didn't, but I do. He made a movie, by the way, Maverick Funhawk. We need to watch this movie. He made a movie last year where he's like one of the two action stars and it's him and some Australian guy. What?

I watched the trailer for it. It's all just gunshots, the entire movie. Just wait. Do they ever say the word Jesus Christ? Because if they do, we could totally do that on the show, right? Right. Absolutely. There's no way Maverick Von Hogg didn't work in some religious angle to that ridiculous

movie. Exactly. There's only one way to find out. So wait, wait, wait, before he even flashes back though, he goes to this woman's house, right? We didn't talk about the fact that he goes to this woman's house that apparently looks like the other people's houses. And she just leaves him in the garage with nothing.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, earlier, she's like, can I take you to the hospital? And he's like, no. And then she's like, can I take you to my home? And he's like, yes. So then she takes him to her home. And she doesn't even offer him like a glass of water.

No. It's really weird. Yeah, she's like, just, you go ahead and use the motorcycle fix shop that I have here in the house. So he starts doing that and then he flashes back. And then he flashes back, okay. Yeah. the motorcycle fix shop that I have here at the house. So he starts doing that and then he flashes back. And then he flashes back, okay. Yeah. And it's this gritty biker bar,

but Pure Flix can't keep this gather for half a second because Merrick Von Hogg and another gang member are doing shots, but they cheer their shots. Yeah, I love that. They're like college, like sorority girl. To murder and drone dealing. I love that. They're like college, like sorority girl. To murder and drug dealing. Chots, shots, shots, shots.

We're bikers. We're in a biker gang. Oh, if Merrick Von Hoggan that guy had run out onto the dance floor, this is my fucking song band. Well, you know, so this is like right after they do this, this like semi hot woman walks up to the semi hot woman bartender and they have like a look about them. And I had been bingeing, I've been rewatching the L word on showtime. So I've been like bingeing like sexy lesbian scenes for days now. And they start to walk up. And for a moment, I forgot what show I was watching and I got excited.

And then I remember this podcast. It's bad. Okay, Heath has also been bingeing sex. He's been saved for the last few days. She's on the exact same page as you. Right, Heath, wasn't it? Didn't it feel like for a minute it was going to go there? I, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

It's Vanessa Angel, too. She's the woman who walks into the bar to talk to her old bartender friend and they have very good chemistry. I agree. Right. But this is Savi McSavarsson, right? She's the one who is going to save Simon later in the show. This is their meat cute.

And their meat cute is sadly not lesbian porn. It's her going to see an old friend who is now a bartender at a dive bar to tell her that maybe she should stop bartending and do Jesus instead? I guess, but like they don't even tell you that. This is like, you're having to fill in a lot of blanks here. Basically, she's like, hi, are you good? I'm good.

And then his flashback was over. I was like, what? Yeah, exactly. Hello, you've watched episode one and two of Sons of Thunder, right? Cool. So you know what's happening. I'm going to eventually become the wife of that huge guy right there.

This is how we meet end of flashback. Wait, they're going to get married? I think, right? Eli, they're implied to be married in one of the other ones. It's clear that we're in this together. Maybe not married. So this, this is what I think happened. And I have this later in my notes, but I think it's worth talking about now. I think

sons of thunder shot two days of flashback footage, assuming that would be more than enough for a season of their show, used all of it on episode one and two. And we're like, ah, I mean, I have that thing where Simon farted really loud while she was saying her line. And they were like, keep it in the movie. So now we cut back to Kelly's kitchen. No, we're not in her kitchen yet. Oh, this is a very important part. They come back to the garage. And he goes, does it always rain like this? And she is like's like on earth. Yeah, we have atmospheric conditions here in Texas. So water always falls down.

Like to be clear, they both have the same accent. Like he's clearly from the same region that she's from. Like how does he not know how weather is or does she have special weather? Yeah, he's from the same church group where the entire cast is cast the special weather. Yeah, he's from the same church group where the entire cast is cast. Absolutely. Next to the dive bar where they shot all the flashbacks, exactly. Of course. So now they're in the kitchen eating the deer. He hit. Yeah, like literally an hour later, I'm sorry,

you cannot prepare a deer that quickly. You just can't. You have to bleed a deer out. You have to butcher it like it doesn't work this way. And they should know this. Oh, yeah, she's got it cut up into like subway sandwiches minutes later. And she's putting it into her little fridge. And I just want to point out that in this scene, I don't know what happened in the foreground, but in the background is a camo lazy boy. And honestly, the universe should have sucked into itself and restarted when we made a camo lazy boy. That should just, just second take, whatever happened wasn't going well. Oh my God, where'd you go?

Oh no, you're in the lazy boy. Okay, I'll just go to that side. And she asked him if he has a concussion, he does not. Well, he does, but he's an idiot. He's like, no, no, I've had like a thousand concussions, so I know how to self-diagno, it's a concussion. Medically, I know, I'm fine. Don't ask me my name, I don't know that.

But he does keep having like these weird seizures where he flashes back to a dive bar, nothing happens. Oh, that's such a better rewrite. Crazy billionaire remake, he has a seizure every time he flashes back. We just watch him drooling on the ground. We start to have him flashbacks out of the flashbacks to something even less useful. Yeah, he's having a seizure inside the black bank.

And she's just standing there going like, I'm pretty sure this is a concussion. How many layers deep are we into the doodlele doodle doodle? I don't know. It feels bad. No matter what. Throw me a maze Simon. Oh, it's bad. You guys it's bad. So yeah, they're they're talking. He's he doesn't have a concussion and she offers him work because this is an episode of Suns of Thunder and this happens every episode, but it occurred to me. No wonder Christians don't believe in social safety nets. Three episodes in a row. People have just been handing out jobs like candy on fucking Halloween.

Right. She saw these like lonely people who just need extra help. They never discuss, you know, an hourly wage. You never actually see money exchange hands, which is strange. Also, she's like, you think you want some work while you put your bike together, and I'm thinking, wait, isn't that the work he's doing? He's fixing his bike. He wants to work while he works. I'm very confused. This makes no sense. And what is it with the men situation?

He's like, you're here all by yourself. You ain't got no men to help you around. And she's like, well, most men are, you know, and he's like, I know. And I'm sitting here going, I don't know. I don't know. That is the required racially problematic dog whistle that they have in every one of these episodes.

Oh, is that why I don't get it? Cause I can't hear that dog whistle. Oh, 100%. Oh, Jesus. He was like, yeah, no, I'd hire people to work the ranch, but all the quote, good men are taken and the rest are like, swear, swear, you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

That's almost exactly the line. She literally goes, the rest of the men are, and then she trails off and he like gives her a knowing nod, and I'm sitting here going, ooh, what are they? What? What are the rest of the men? I was really hoping they were gonna like spilty and hot gossip. He was like, oh, let me tell you about this guy dated last week.

Okay, so his name is Knuckles. And let me tell you, he earned that nickname out of, oh, you knew. So she really sang like the rest of them are brown? She's not saying that, but she's saying that. Okay, I was very confused. I was like, the rest are bad and bad. Like I don't know but she's saying that. I think that's what's accidentally happening. I was very confused. I was like, the rest are bad and bad.

Like, I don't know what she's getting at. I shouldn't have put fucking me on the job requirement something like that. And it's my fault. Right. But regardless, Simon is like, all right, well, I could use a few days of work and also I live here now.

That's a normal thing, right? And she's like, yep, that's what we're doing. You live here now and you work for me. Here's my favorite, they're sitting there. The food is laid out, she starts to dig in and he goes, don't you think we should pray? And she's like, okay, and then they pray, and then she goes, let me show you to your room.

They never touch the food. I have the brains, the important part. I didn't notice that, yeah. They've got some amazing venison subway sandwiches sitting right there minutes after killing a deer. Yeah. And then he just walks away from them and never to return. Yep. Yeah. Also, I love this part. She's like, yeah, I'll show you, show your room. And he's like, ah, ma'am, I should sleep in a different building to, you know, avoid heterosexual intercourse between the two of us because

I'm very attractive. Temptation would be a problem. And she's like, yeah, yeah, close one, close one, yeah. And it literally says the words, I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong impression. And I'm like, you just established that there are no other human beings within your shot. Like there's no one else around. I'll tell you what, I'll stay in this room if Mike Pence can stay outside the door all night to make sure you don't come in and take a P.P. is at my johnson or my buddy cheeks.

And then she goes her reaction to that because this is a mythical Christian universe is, oh, a gentleman. If I am in a building with a woman and she goes, this is where you'll be sleeping and I'll go, oh, but people will think we're fucking, I'm not a gentleman. I'm a murderer. That's true. The response to that is taser or mace. So they had outside to comment on how nice her place is and it is. We've seen it in two other episodes.

Okay, but here's the thing that really gets me. Nothing happened in the scene. You guys, you guys. You're right. Correct. You choose. And what they don't see, the people listening, is that there's a document.

And it's like sectioned out based on like scene intros. And in this scene, my notes say, that man is enormous. And I wonder how much her place costs on Airbnb. I'd stay there. This scene, my notes say that man is enormous. And I wonder how much her place costs on Airbnb, I'd stay there. Literally nothing happens. And the only thing I could think of to write, it's actually a really like adorable room. She's set up in this weird side ranch outhouse area with like really nice, do they cover over the blanket with the,

it's a nice room. It reminds me of some of the places I've actually stayed in in Southern Africa, where they actually call them farms usually, but it's similar. It's usually like a ranch, but they keep game and they do game conservation. And oftentimes there's hunting on these game conservation,

but the hunting makes a lot more sense to me because it's like interesting animals. It's not just deer. Huh, it's really good that this show didn't try to set itself in Africa. I've got to say, I think it's all the game. I'm thinking imagine.

Also, by the way, there is no fucking way in hell that woman could live alone on that property and manage it by herself. Yeah. It's enormous. No, now it's some good white man anyway. Not without farm hands. way in hell that woman could live alone on that property and manage it by herself. Yeah. It's enormous. No, that's some good white man anyway. Not without farm hands.

It's enormous that property. Okay. This is my, my two cents. Okay. It's like, I don't buy it. I just what I'm saying. I don't buy anything about the show I hate it. I hate it.

I mean, that's all accurate. It's out. So later that night, he's in the garage fixing his motorcycle. When speaking of poachers, he hears a gunshot. And of course, he walks directly towards them. Yeah. My favorite thing is that he's working on his bike with a Phillips head screwdriver only.

Nope. And there's literally no other tools in sight. He's just holding the Phillips head screwdriver up to just a piece of metal on his bike and turning it. Oh, the way they have fixing stuff moments in this series in particular, we're going to get an even better one in a second. They're amazing. It's always just like tool screwdriver wave near it. I am a tool fixer done. Yeah. There's no other tools in the garage. No. But do you not all the the screws loose in his motorcycle? He's just got an Allen wrench and he's putting it on.

Nothing's hexagonal on this. I don't know. I can't think. He's like, where does the dowel go? Where do I put the flurigan? No, that's not going to work. He does the wrong thing. His motorcycle is a bookcase. God. God, it's a really bad bed. Shit. So, he follows the gunshots for a second and then Lady pulls up to be like, what was that? And he's like gunshots. And the only reason I point this out, because nothing happens. They don't actually follow the gunshots until nine scenes later in this 23-minute episode. But she pulls up in her little

jeep thing and the people who made this show are idiots. So we don't see anything that happens for 60 seconds because the fucking headlights are shining directly into our eyes watching the show. It's almost like they put him on his mark and then like drive up to him, but she's like night blind. So it takes a while for her to find where he is. And then she turns to him. This is my favorite part.

She turns to him with a flashlight, shines it in like his belly chest area, like only low and goes, what are you doing here? Like she doesn't know who he is. He's the only other person in this TV show. Oh, you're the Airbnb guy. Sorry, sorry. Sorry. You're the one human being that's on my property. And there's one other moment she goes, do you know where they came from? She's talking about the gunshots

and he goes, I think over there and she goes, how do you know where gunshots came from? And I want to be like, uh, hearing. I use my ear. I have hearing. Do you have hearing? But he actually, he actually says I have a long history of Hearing the direction of noises because it was you know gang work He would have to fair it out the direction of gunshots a lot So now it's time to go back into the flashback for no reason. Oh, this is the best flashback. No, there's a reason now Yeah, Merrick Von Hogg is gonna tell back for no reason. Oh, this is the best flashback. No, there's a reason now. Yeah. Merrick Von Hogg is going to tell bartender to slip good Christian lady, a Mickey. Yeah, but it doesn't even go. It's not, it's not even that explicit. He's like, well, you want

to make her a special drink. And she's like, yes. Okay. Like she has roofies next to the well drinks behind the ballpark. Okay, but how amazing would it be if he was like, maker one of my special drinks and then she comes over with a big blue margarita and a fish ball and marriage is like tips his hat. Who's that? Light it on fire. Like a curly, cute straw.

Exactly. Little umbrellas and a pineapple with a hamburger on the top. Can you do a dusting of powdered sugar around the room? No, get out. And that's the flashback. So the next morning, they're having a coffee and he wants to know if she saw anything. He's like, so I was the gunfight that you wouldn't help you with. Yeah.

And it's still this far into the show. It's like, hey, you never, never caught your name. And now it's awkward. It's like, Hey, you never, never caught your name. And now it's awkward. That's so strange. Also, I love that she's about three feet from the kitchen. Yet she took the time to pour the coffee into a thermos to then pour it into mugs. That's important. If she's doing a French press, you got to pour it out immediately or else it keeps brewing. So you got to get it into. Yeah. But when you just pour it straight into the mugs, but the thermos keeps it hot all that for the three feet that she walked from the kitchen to the porch table. Look, if you're looking for sad intricacies with coffee, you are barking up the right tree

in Heathen right? Okay. I have literally the same thermos she has. That's why I'm being very defensive right now. Yeah. And you use it when you leave your home, right? I'm looking at that exact thermos next to me on my desk right now. No, he'd describe all the times you leave your home like Karen just asked about. I have a lot of different friends and we go to what are their names? Just for a couple of first names. Steve has one of them. Mac keyboard.

He's a good top. Nope. Okay, so Keith, by the way, I have a little like mug warmer on my desk. Oh, do you have an Ember? It's a game-chip. No, no, because that's like the mug itself. To be that's like, why would I only want to use one mug? I have a lot of great mugs. So I have a thing, you know, it's like a hot plate, just for a coffee mug.

Oh, that's good one. And it's auto on, auto off. Like it has a pressure button, so you put the mug down. It senses its weight and it turns on and keeps mug hot. And then you think it'll be great. It's Gina, it's like 20 bucks on Amazon. Oh my God, I think one of those. Yeah, then you can actually drink out of your mouth.

That's a famous person thing. Do they let us have those? Did Tom Cruise tell you that? Does a Kegan Michael Key have one? Oh, I hate it. Did he get that? Did he get that? You have to tell us.

It's like being a cop. You guys realize at this point that literally nothing happens in this show, which is why we're talking about Amazon. That's why we're talking about the world. It's exactly right. But, but she's like, hey, do you think you can find those poachers? And he says, and this is very important to me. I'm not sure God wants me to hunt man again. He literally says, yeah, I'm not sure if the Lord wants me to hunt people again.

That's like you guys left something out when you told me the premise of this show. Clearly, so of this show clearly so did this show literally the line that's literally the line and yes. Just learning that he's a people hunter. He helped hunt people in episode one of this show. So he's saying like, yeah, I did hunt people like for the Lord with two episodes ago, but you know, got racially problematic actually. Wait, wait, wait, tell me about that. You know, I don't listen to your show.

Tell me about this. What happened? What was it you like? There was people escaping across from the Mexican border. Yeah. This is allegedly this, you know, exact same ranch land to every place that they set is right along the Mexican border. And some other rancher guy hired him to help deal with the immigration problem of Mexicans. Yep.

So he becomes like a like a day laborer, a minute man, a day laborer who gets into a gun fight to prevent people from crossing the border from Mexico. Yes, literally that's what happened. That was episode one. And we to watch. He murders displaced humans who were looking for asylum. Well, no, he murders cartel members who are chasing those displaced humans. And then after saving the displaced humans in episode one, I swear this is true. You can listen to our first episode about it. He turned them into ice. That's the conclusion. That's the moral big finish of episode one is, no, no, I was helping, you know, somebody who refused very hard for her. I'm sending her to ice now. Oh, I saw those detention centers on MSNBC. They looking nice. Those those babies. He's got

their own cage. Oh my God. That's so fucked up. But this is so vital because he says I'm not sure God wants me to hunt men again. She is in this television show. So she has no context for him saying that, but her response is I see you have a past. Yeah. I wrote my notes. Yeah, man, I just admitted to hunting people. I would have several follow up questions.

But she does not. She does not. She seems unconcerned. She's like, you can continue to live on my property, man, whose name I do not know who hunts people. There you go. That's correct. And she actually points out, this is the show trying to like,

backpedal into morality somehow. She says, I just want to catch him and turn him in. Just the hunting people, not killing people to be clear. Yeah, yeah, we got to draw line somewhere. I love the line itself. Like it reminds me of when I took drama class in seventh grade and you would practice with those sentences. Like, did Johnny make an A on his math test?

And then you would practice emphasizing different words, like did Johnny make an A on his math test? Did Johnny make an A on his math test? Did Johnny make an A on his math test? This sentence is just like that. I'm not sure if the Lord wants me to hunt people again. There's a lot in the... There's a lot in the...

There's a lot in the... There's a lot to be broken down there. Is it the Lord? Is it that he doesn't want me to hunt? Is it that he doesn't want me to hunt people? Or maybe see again. That's the important part of this. We're going to need to see your italics tags. But Simon's on board with it. That's it. He's like, yeah, all right. You know what? That's a, it's Christian either way. Honestly, with the hunting, the killing either way. It doesn't matter. I guess I'm going to help you with that. And we've set up a plot involving the hunting of human beings. That's what's just happened now.

But it's is going to be maybe catch and release. So it's cool. Stay tuned to see if that gets worse. It actually will, spoiler. When we come back for more, Sons of Thunder Episode 3, Hunter Hunted. Hey podcast listener, you might not know this, but our very own Michael Marshall helps us screen our advertisers to avoid pseudoscience cons and the truly incredible amount of money we could be making by pitching CBD bullshit. That's right Eli, but uh, I mean they have pills, creams, gummies, we just turned down a dozen offers at this point and not just one shot either.

People want to buy a year's worth of spots just upfront for that stuff. Right, right. But like many of them make dangerous and untrue claims about their benefits. So I mean, you don't want to work with them. That's correct. Marsh the plurality of this show does not want to work with them. That's correct, Marsh, the plurality of this show does not want to work with CBD sponsors. Right, I say yeah.

Which is why we've brought him on to ask about this week's sponsor, AdamanEve.com, so Marsh, as a doctor. Oh, I mean, I'm not a doctor. As a medical doctor of the law, whose advice you legally have to take on a podcast, what is your skeptical opinion of putting dildos up your butt? what is your skeptical opinion of putting dildos up your butt? What's my skeptical opinion of putting dildos up your butt? Yes, skeptical

opinion, but those are the bad. I mean, it's fine. I suppose if you with consenting to adults and you take proper medial care, it's fine. So if our podcast audience wanted your skeptical as a skeptic advice about inserting the, I don't know, just as an example, American bombshell wardady dildo, which I should point out has a girth of eight inches. You would recommend them buying that on Adamineve.com as a skeptic in your official capacity as one of the world's largest skeptical conventions. I mean, I feel like the dildo doesn't strictly apply. Because I don't know if you know this much, but listen to our podcast and get 50% off almost any one item when they enter our code awful at checkout.

Okay, I mean, discounts are nice. That's true. But it's not just a discount, Marshmallow. Is the head of Skeptic Magazine UK? Wouldn't you say that they can also get 10 tantalizing free gifts, including a cockering of vibrator, a loop sample, and six free porn movies? I mean, that's true, but I'm not sure why I have to say it as the head of skeptic magazine.

Well, you heard it here first, folks. Michael Marshall in his official capacity as a doctor and skeptic of the year, two years in a row, recommends you buy the biggest dildo you can and put it right inside your butt. When you do, don't forget to use our code awful. That's awful. AWF UL offer code awful at checkout at Adam and Eve.com. You're like, what if I let you guys do one, one CBD product?

Nope, too late. Dildos out of the bag. God damn it. Thanks again for helping us out this week with the Gidahead, Cara. Yeah, yeah, huge help. Yeah, no problem. So we were thinking, right, since we're doing a Gidahead, why limit ourselves to just this Gidahead?

Exactly. What? So today, why don't we pre-record a bunch of future stuff? That way we don't have to bug you when it actually happens. OK, yeah, I guess so. Yeah, so here are your lines. Great, yeah, so whenever you're ready, go ahead. All right.

Hi, I'm Cara Santa Maria, and I'm here to express my sorrow at the passing of Noah Luget dude, guys. What? What, people die, Cara. Yeah, what are we gonna do? We're gonna send you condolences from the set of brain games.

This is actually, if you can get Keegan Michael Keyat to say something, that would be about our shows. So how you like. Okay. Okay. That's. That's fine. Fine. Alright. I'm Cara Santa Maria here to express my sorrow that he's choked to death alone in his apartment. Seriously? Statistically, we need that audio car. Okay. You don't know, though. You don't know. I could like slip in the tub.

You wish. It's like, this tub. Right. This is getting really dark. What? We don't like it any better than you do, Cara. Okay, but we got to pre-record this stuff and there's only one more.

So. Okay. All right, fine. Here we go. Hi, I'm Cara Santa Maria here to express my shock and disappointment that Eli got me to by the rocking horse machine outside the grocery store. And that'll do it.

Oh, good. Yeah. Thanks so much. Great stuff. You know, you could just not do weird stuff to that horse outside the grocery store, right? Oh, well, then I could Cara Santa Maria. What then I could? Why are my friends with you guys?

And we're back. When we left off a Texas rancher and a Christian hobo, we're about to play the most dangerous game deer hunters. So now they're in the kitchen, planning on hunting people, even though Simon didn't say yes and kind of said no, but that's what they're doing. Exactly. Then they're looking over the map of her land. Yeah, she's got a map like Wiley Coyote, like a paper map of this land. Somehow it'd be useful.

He goes, they don't kill in the same place twice. No, he literally says you say they don't kill in the same place twice. No, he literally says, you say they don't kill in the same place twice. And I'm like, no, she never said that. She pointed in two different spots and said, I found a dead buck here and a dead buck here. That's all she said. You say they don't kill in the same place twice. Like, you are not good at math. You should never run a statistical analysis, my friend. Right. Well, what is a deer have to be going to the same place twice in order to make that possible

to kill in the same, it's where the deer, they shoot deer, where the deer are. Right. Well, and also clearly there's only one deer on our whole brother. And, and based on that information, though, he like, non-triangulate, he's got two spots and he's somehow triangulates. He's like, well, then they're probably going to be here and just randomly gestures of the map. Is it because of triangle? This infinity triangles you can make in this map just so you know, it's because triangle, okay. And she gives him, she gives him this gun, right? And she's like, here, this is to murder the people

who are stealing my deer. Or kill some pigs while you're out there. We also have pigs on the farm. Yes, so weird. She goes, I usually keep the hogs around for the hunters. What, what does that even mean? Okay, if she's talking about wild pigs, which have, you know, we have wild pigs in Texas,

you don't keep them around their wild. They just run around where they wanna be. And if she's talking about farmed pigs, what the fuck, you don't hunt farmed pigs? Who hunts farmed pigs? That's a mess up. Doesn't she say, leave the pigs dead to help out the buzzards?

Also, the ecosystem here is very confusing. She goes buzzards got a key. I don't understand ranches. They're very confusing. It's a buzzer ranch. Do not base your knowledge of ranches off of this fucking shitty edge. So he pulls up to the kill site on his four wheeler. And I just want to point out this is supposed to be where they shot a deer.

There is a Roseanne bar period amount of blood on the grid there. Jesus, you're so, so, they killed this deer with an axe. Oh, for sure. It's like they killed it. They processed it. They like set up camp there for three days to fully process this deer. He picks up the bullet at one point from this pool of blood and the people who made this are aware that like bad asses pick up bullets and then do something to him, but Simon just picks it up and then puts it back down again. He's like, yep, bullet, just what I thought. There's a gun.

It was a gun thing. And to be clear, this is another one of those scenes where nothing happens. So I wrote in my notes, does his beard grow that way naturally? Like he clearly shaved his entire head and his face except for this weird chin curtain, right? Because it only grows straight out of his chin, like a third leg, like it's vertical straight out of his chin, but his whole face is smooth like a baby. And then also, why does nobody wear sunglasses in this show? They're like in the hot Texas sun and they're constantly staring into the sun, but not

a single person owns a pair of sunglasses. Yeah, you'd think they'd have some of those like tactical wraparounds that are very popular with hunting people, I thought. It was like a rule. It's important. I love that after he picks up the bullet shell, he looks at it. Right. He does that thing that just like, Oh, you know, I pick up bullets and now I've done detective work. And then he takes the map back out and just like runs just

as if to do some sort of math, but that's nothing. It's nothing. No idea. Yep. This is the part of the map where bullets could be. I wanted him to get poached here. Just like this scene ends with like you cut to like this giant troll mounted on one of the posters, we'll all next to a deer. No. Yeah, but don't worry. He's also bored during this scene. So we're going to do some more flashing back. And in this flashback, he's going to ask Ringo, that's Maverick Von Hogg, not to date rape that lady, right? Because he was going to make one of the special drinks for her.

And Maverick Von Hogg is like, all right, I'll tell you what, if you can get her to go home with you, I won't date rape that lady. It's so weird. What is this? They think this is just how people are. Just people sit at bars and then women come up to the bars and then the guy asks the bartender lady to put a Rohipnall in the drink

and she's like, I'll comply with that request. Gross. It's just so weird. And then he's like, how about you not rape her tonight? And he's like, well, if you can bonker, I won't rape her. Sounds like a deal. Yeah, that's the deal they her. Sounds like a deal. Yeah. That's the deal they made.

That's the deal they made as like calling in an old favor. All that's happened though is Simon convinced this terrible rapist to Rufia different woman that night. That's all that's happened. That's true. He's just like bumped it down the line. I also love too that the way he asks is he goes, Hey, ring, remember that time back in Canton when that thing happened that we're not going to talk about because we don't really have enough writers

to write the back story. So that thing happened. Now you owe me a favor. And he's like, Oh, you can bring that up right now with the foot. And then he goes, Yeah, litter walk out of here. Like that's the favorite. That's how he explicitly asked for the favor. Let her walk out of here. Like that's the favorite. He, that's how he explicitly asked for the favorite. Let her walk out of here as if, now I'm like really confused because I thought he was gonna date rape her. But let her walk out of here means what?

He was gonna kill her like in the bar and bury her underneath it. Like I'm so confused. Do better with the wishing too. You're using like calling in a favor. I feel like you go for more there, right? Whatever happened in Canton, Ohio, that they couldn't write should be felt big. And this is a theme throughout the show, right?

Because they're trying to do sons of anarchy, but he can't be like, remember when we killed those guys in Canton? Because it's pureflex and grandma will turn it off. So it's like, you remember back in Canton, Canton, Ohio? Oh, yeah, they have the museum of string there. Indeed,'s like, you remember back in Canton, Canton, Ohio, oh yeah, they have the museum of string there. Indeed, they do, brother. The thing with the stuff that was bad ass, but

not too bad ass, you know, BADD ASS. Yeah, that thing. It's not good. And then they just like cheers again. And then we went to the football hall. Thank me was awesome. Anyway. And then we went to the football hall. Fame. It was awesome. Yeah. Anyway. And that's the end of the flashback. Doodly do over. Yeah. And he goes back to the house. And he's just like, uh, I found a bullet. And she's like, yep, that is a bullet. Also, it opens with a bunch of windmills. And I thought like, I thought these people were like anti-green energy. Oh, I wanted so badly.

Greg Abbott, like trying to warm them up at the base. He's put little mittens on him. That's really weird. Yeah. This starts with Simon reading the Bible. Oh, right. Yeah. So the ranch related comes up and he's like, yeah, I'm just spending some time at the good Lord reading the Bible. And we see that he's on page like three. He's reading Genesis. And I would, I would love to have them read what he was reading and then try to work that in his blood, but they don't know that the writers. He's just like, Hey, did you know that light was created before any of the stars that

cast light? That's fun, right? Before I need to start that don't make sense. How would it? Okay. God spent a lot of time passing over the waters. What do you think that means when you're the creator of the universe without a body? Ah, you know what? Okay. Let's go find those portraits. What do you think about the

Kalam cosmological argument? Just like, ontologically, it don't make sense, right? But this is where we get my best worse, right? We see the poachers. They have another deer, right? They're walking away talking about what a good hunt it is. And he... sneaks behind them for so long. Amazing. And he's not even like at first,

he's kind of skulking in like the bushes, but then he's just on like literally a 10 foot wide open path about three feet behind them, like walking on his toes. Tiptoes, it is, it is, it is, it is, he is unseen because of tiptoes. And that is the only reason because of his isylophone music and plucked by. Yeah. Also very important in this scene.

They very obviously asked these young men who play the poachers to improvise their dialogue. They were not given lines. So their dialogue is man, we got a good deer today. Yeah, we did. Deers. Deers. Deers exist. Don't say dears again. They clearly couldn't get deer. So they gave them brown trash bags. And the walking away from the quote kill site with brown trash bags on their backs. And it's

like, if that's supposed to be a deer, that deer is the size of a corgi. It's a corgi size deer in the brown track. Deer are not small enough to put into a trash bag and carry on your back like that. Oh, it's a good thing we brought that rumble in the Bronx woodshipper to feed the deer into in case they kill them. It's so stupid. So now it's time to jump back into the flash back again. We're siphon. He's going to convince this lady not to drink the date rape drink.

And he does that very subtly by walking in and going, don't drink that. I want you to have a better drink that I offer you. Yeah, so weird. He like pulls it out of her hand, sets it to the side. It takes by the way, 20 minutes for the bartender to pour a whiskey with a date rate pill in it, but immediately after when he goes, don't drink that, how about we have some apple teeny? She goes right here. Yeah. This this biker bar were led to believe here has batched

Apple Teenage that she poured right out of a thing two seconds later. Yes. I Want to be at that meeting. All right, fellas. Well as you know, the skull bones and the neonazies They had a fight last night and three men were killed Also Karen. I just need you to start mulling men to the beginning of the night because we cannot sell enough moitos. If you know what I'm saying, just keep making pictures. You know what I'm saying? All right. And so I'm watching this show on Pureflick, which by the way, I did not know of until yesterday. Thank you for letting me log into your account. Welcome to the family care. Yeah, yeah. You can get a lifetime membership for only like $10,000, one-time payment, and you'll have it forever.

Eli sends me all the info and he's like, it's on Pure Flix, so get it there. And I'm like, what the fuck is Pure Flix? And then he's like, oh, welcome to GAM. And then I'm like, okay. And he's like, yeah, just set up an account. And I'm like, fuck you, give me your log in. I'm not setting up a pureflick.

And that was our exchange. But so as I'm writing my notes, I'm pausing the show because I'm watching the whole thing on my computer and like switching, you know, browser windows. And it shows, you know, the pause screen, it has the name of the show and then it has the rating. And this show has a 3.8 rating out of four on Pureflix. I hate everything. I want to die a 3.8 rating out of four on pureflix. I hate everything. I want to say, okay, to be fair, that could be one rating and Simon's mom, right? She's

being like, not his best work, liked him better and Harold and Kumar sequel. I actually think that rating was he's what you guys didn't hear as well. We were paused. He was talking about how excited he is for the next episode. It's got a poker game. If we're going to play this, this show is going to play poker. And then episode is so excited. But luckily, Christian lady is totally unfazed by the giant bald man who snatches her drinks away and she drinks the batch apple teeny. She's handed and said, so, uh, that's the end of the flashback. Yep, yep. I wanted them to show us them walking away with martini glasses, just spilling everywhere because they're the dumbest fucking glasses.

They are really stupid and they filled them all the way to the Oh, absolutely. Yeah, like a toddler doing a tea party. So meanwhile, back in the real world, the two poachers have finally noticed this giant guy and I mentioned this because they have to do act like they see him for the first time and it's impossible for them not to already be seeing them because he's a mountain. So they're like what? What's that behind us? Oh, right. A nine foot tall garden. No, what are you doing here? It's also so weird because he like catches them at their front door. And I'm like, so they live on her property. Like the boaters live on our property.

Even better, that leaves two options. One, they live on her property or two. He managed to follow them without being noticed until he made it all for ranch. Right. It's been three days. I've just been tiptoe in the entire time. The balls of my feet are raw. Just two hours of him military crawling. So then they're like,'s like what are you doing poachers and they're like oh Shit we used to work for Kelly, but then something horrible happened and now we don't and she ain't never gonna forgive us And then that's it for the backstory like nobody asks any questions Like it's just they just vaguely reference the past being awful and that's why she won't hire me back. I have a fan theory.

Okay. I just bet if a fan theory is what you're calling this. So these brothers, I have called in my notes, Amish brother and Gunn Toten Jesus. I'm obsessed with Amish brother. Yeah, because Amish brother is trying to deliver the backstory, but Gunn Toten Jesus, who looks like he's playing

Jesus in like a, in like a nice Salt Lake city production, not top of the line, but like he's just below Jim Kovizel. If Jim hadn't taken the part, this guy would have gotten it. Like this guy's in Salt Lake and he could have gone either way. He could have stayed in the, in the like Ward seven or he could have like gone full fundamentalist and like had like a lot of sister wives and he's just trying to figure out which direction his life is going to take. Right. He had a podcast soon. Yeah.

He interrupts Amish brother so often with crazy violence and nonsense. I can only assume his part was unscripted. They just gave him an actual firearm and they were like, yeah, man, just whenever he's talking, you just chime in with violence and insanity. He was like, got it. All right. One Jared Lino coming right up. Oh, no, for sure.

There's clearly no script here because, um, his brother, his whole, like, role is just to shake his head nervously. Just he shakes his head nervously back and forth and he gets his his thing brother brother, but remember when he's like shut up. That's the whole. We didn't rat for me to say anything, Pat, but okay, yeah, you're right. You go. It was old SNL sketches where it's like, but I to be fair to him gun toting Jesus guy just does more and more dangerous things with his handheld firearm as the scene goes on, right? He starts by being like, Hey, man, I've got a gun.

Just watch out. But by the end of it, he's full on foolating this handgun, right? And spinning the chamber and tying the fucking trigger to a bouncy ball that he's got on a paddle. Oh, yeah, he holds it up to his own head at one point. Yeah, yeah. Remember? Which has no stakes.

Simon's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nope. That's fine. Ben free gun. Right. Exactly. Like clearly the way this show is going to end is that either gun, tote, and Jesus or Simon is dead.

Why not just end it here? That would have caught a nice little chunk of the show that actually would have been a much more enjoyable show i love their discussion of economics for second oh well clearly that's the point that's the point of the scene right it's angsty poor white men festering in their poor whiteness like it's basically just they took her jabs yeah right it's real hard for white men in Texas economically.

Right. That's the point they're making. These guys, they're actually called Brad and Ryan. And they're complaining. They're complaining like, well, there's no work around here. We can't get jobs. So we have to be poachers. And then Simon kind of just like tries to help with advice.

He's like, yeah, you know, capitalism's impressive for white men in Texas. I got it a bit, there's a lot of, you know, gig economy stuff you can do. Have you tried like driving around a motorcycle till you find a job where you can also live at the same place? Because that works for me like once a week. Yeah, my favorite. Also, the other big point is that Kelly

who owns the ranch isn't Christian enough So that's like what we're gonna we're gonna get here in the conclusion Well, she won't forgive them and he's like well, let me talk to her I'll all Jesus are up and maybe she'll forgive you for stealing from her Wait stealing is that is that what they're yeah, it's for the stealing sorry Go ahead. Propulsion her ranch Because there's clearly something horrible that happened previously like like Angry gun toad and Jesus raped her and they just never you know It's like the thing that cannot be named she's never gonna forgive me for that. It's like well, what the fuck did you do?

Yeah, and he never asks right? Like hey, I should probably find out why she won't forgive you. He's just like no, don't worry I've read page three and four of the Bible. I'll hear with the good stuff. So he heads back to Kelly to tell her the score. And this is so fucking good because they've written themself into the corner, right? Which is he can't tell her who the poachers are because she wants to convince her to forgive them first. But that means he has no information in this information.

So she's like, did you find the poachers? he's like, yes, and she's like, great. Who are they? I'll call the cops and he's like, no. I believe we're at a script impasse. Proceed. And you know what they say here is he tries to convince her that it's just poor guys who just needed the food to eat. So he says to her, well, they're taking the game for meat as opposed to what?

I've read. Of course these poachers are poaching the deer for meat. What else would they be poaching the deer for? Yeah, ridiculous. But what we're going gonna learn here is that, this is how the Bible comes in. So Simon claims that the Bible says, to be cool and let people steal from you.

Mm-hmm. Does it? I don't think it says that. I'm pretty sure it does not. That is not what the Bible says. Yeah, here's what I do know that the Bible says, it says that people who steal your animals, oh, you, they're not sure either two, four, five or seven times the amount of animals that they took in different parts of the Bible,

those are the numbers. In Proverbs, it's seven times. And if they don't have seven times what they stole, they owe you everything in their house. And you have to like work for them for you have to be a slave. Mm-hmm. So she could get all of their fit because he's got like a wife and a pregnant kid. No, wait, sorry.

That's not wrong. I think he's got a pregnant wife and a kid. Yep. He doesn't have a pregnant child. Although to be fair, it would have been really funny if they came for their apology and they just had like a fork lift of 47 deer and they were like, here you go seven times what we stole this took a moment. But instead, you know, she's just going to end up with a bunch more camo furnace.

I'm sorry. Is that a matching couch? You gentlemen are forgiven. Also, oh my god, do you guys remember how when they're at the house, they're sitting there on the front porch and rusted out chairs, literally rusted out chairs, yet there's a brand new Jeep Wrangler part there. It's like a brand new Jeep, but they live in a shack. It's so weird. Very selective. The poverty of this show, very selective. Yeah, no, and they've got like a $50,000 all pure gold sniper rifle from like Winnith Paltrow's Goop collection, but they can't get a share. Yeah. Priorities, my friend.

Yeah. All right, well, it looks like they pivoted from hunting humans to the much more biblical solution of enslaving humans. Well, I guess we're gonna find out if that's literally the message of the show when we come back for the Christian morality conclusion of sons of thunder episode three under hunted. All right, Kar, you ready for the ad reads? Yeah, about that. How are you guys doing ad reads?s? I mean, I thought this episode was a get ahead. Oh, it is. That's why we've cleverly designed the script for this ad to cover all of our advertisers.

We're just going to leave a blank for whoever buys the spot. It's perfect. Okay. If you guys say so. All right. Great. And action. Here.

Here. Here. Here. Eli. Eli, why are you using that shovel to scoop inferior t-shirts out of heat's dirty butthole seriously, you guys? Carrot, we don't make one of your asses. We're kinda as good as your brain games. We're not gonna make fun of your asses on brain games.

Fine, okay. Eli, why are you using that shovel to scoop inferior t-shirts out of Heath's dirty butthole? Because, Cara, it's the only way to get his penis erect and his hair growing. Well, then why don't you try? Perfect. We just throw in the advertiser here. What's? And again, we'll just throw in the advertiser. I still get the point though, right? Yes. Yes. Yes. That counts. That's it. It's in the advertiser. I still get the point though, right? That's the count. I guess that counts. That's in the rules.

Okay, that's a point. I'm marking. Kara. They're the best way to keep your penis as hard as it would be to find a t-shirt of the same quality as your hair will be when you're saving time, not going to the post office. Seriously? Kara, I have a child.

I have a child. We need you to read this. Okay. Fine. Okay. And right now, our listeners can get something by going to the website. That's perfect. Don't worry.

We're going to dub it in. And entering the code, awful at checkout. That's a website and a WFUL at checkout. All right, Cara. We are in. website. Never go to the post office with a bald limp penis that isn't wearing a nice t-shirt or sunglasses again.

Okay, excellent, that'll be great, that'll work. So is the penis wearing sunglasses in a t-shirt? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because he's a maverick. Uh-oh. The business of sport business. Well, I sure do appreciate your help on the farm. No problem, ma'am. No problem. You see, people have been stealing my deer and I need to sit him right. Yeah, I see. I see. Well, uh...

Have you heard of the Bible? I have. Well, I wonder if we might turn to it for some guidance here. I suppose you're going to tell me to turn the other cheek or forgive them or something. Oh, no, no, no, hell no, hell no. Have you read the book? We're going to kill the fuck out of those guys. We are hell.

Yeah, we're going to kill them. We're going to kill them. We're going to kill their families and even kill their animals if they happen to be a Madelocites Do you know if they're madocuts by chance? I don't know what that is fine. We'll ask them we get there now We're gonna need a pre-battle sacrifice Do you have a pire Sorry, what now a pire a pie like it's okay, it's okay, I can build one.

I'll go get some wood, but don't drink any blood while I'm gone, or I will have to kill you. You know what, they can have the deer, I'm just, I'm gonna go. Oh, come on, come on, don't you want to kill the women and children? No, fine, fine, you cut to kill the women in children? No. Fine, fine, you cut up your own concubin then. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

And just a quick reminder, Cara, this is a get ahead. So try to keep the topical stuff to a minimum if you're able to. Yeah, no problem. All right, great. You guys ready to record? Yeah. Yeah, I am recording test test.

So am I. All right, I'm recording. All right, here we go. Welcome back to God off a move. March 7th. Three days, March 7th. God damn it, so fast. Sorry.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Eli's dumb. Eli's stupid. I don't think He does ridiculous things. And we're back. And we're going to start with another flashback with Simon and Vanessa Angel enjoying their delicious Appalienis. They don't know how to talk about these Appalienis.

It's fucking phenomenal. He's like, yummers. Apple and I also assume teeny. They're neon green too, by the way, neon green. I'm also confused because maybe it's because I grew up Mormon. So sometimes I mix up. Like I was that kid when I was young when people were like, in Genesis it says blah, blah, blah, and then I would be like, yeah, the Nephats and the Lamanites and they were like, in Genesis, it says blah, blah, blah. And then I would be like, yeah, the knee fats and the laymen

nights and they were like, what the fuck are you talking about? Because they just mix it all together for Mormon kids and you don't know the difference. So is Jesus okay with drinking? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Like it didn't feel very pure flicks.

New Testament is all good about drinking, yeah. Yeah, gotcha. Okay, okay. Actually, I think old Testament is all good about drinking. Yeah. Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Okay. Okay. Actually, I think old testament's all good about drinking just like it's not specifically a sin thing. No. Yeah. Especially Apple Tini's. Especially Apple Tini's in one frosted red glass and one frosted green glass. So again, this bar specifically, the bar manager was like bar full of biker meth dealers. We should get red and green for the martini glasses, right? When we're going to do a Christmas specials, right?

Come on. Oh, and this is the part where it's clear that what's her name is British. Cause she's like, this place seems rough. It seems like it's strange that you, that it's strange that you, that you come here regularly. Yeah. Strang, it's twang it, it's twang. Yeah, it's amazing moment where he's like, look, everybody here sucks. Everyone's here because they earned their place and she's like, what did you do to earn

your spot? And this giant man, this mountain of a human with a bald head and tattoos sitting in the middle of this leather bar is like, what the fuck do you think I juggled? I juggled to get my way into this messy, like, your bar. I'm actually in a doodly new flashback. I turn out to be a good guy. It's not, but yes, some bad things. But her response, of course, is that Jesus loves everybody.

Yeah, but I don't understand what that has to do with her liking him. Because it's clear that they're supposed to be flirting now, but he's Literally hideous right and she's a normal looking woman and it makes No sense right she's supposed to be attracted to him But she's supposed to be like oh, I love how you look like a fairy tale creature I don't know, man. Is the doodly doover? Like he looks like quasi-modo in leather. Yeah. She's like an attractive woman who wandered out of a PTA meeting and into a leather bar. If the islanden became a giant and a biker. Yeah. So doodly do's over. We're back outside and Kelly is preparing her

vengeance, but he's going to talk her out of it. And it's so good because she's like, I'm a fucking kill those people who stole my deer. I don't need your help. And he's like, Hey, have you ever been given a second chance that she's like, fuck you? And he's like, okay, not a great approach not a good start He's literally like I used to hunt people so you should forgive these boys And she's like solid logic right there my friend. I feel like we can pivot from human hunting to to slavery Would that make it better? Can you just have him work on she's like yeah, that's I you know what that's good That's good slavery. I like that. Yeah, you're right. You're right That's what they get to but of course as they're doing it

I'm realizing in this scene that all of her rancher clothes are literally brand new like just pop the tags Like the wardrobe book department completely forgot to like rub them in the dirt So it's a pristine leather. Yeah perfect flannel like it's Ridiculous well, they had to return everything as soon as they were done shooting. You know, this is pureflix money, not Netflix money, okay? She's wearing a cowboy hat

that looks like it's never left the box. It seems to say. But, but yeah, the point is, Simon is gonna go back to the brothers and tell them that her counter offer is slavery. Right? The man who pointed a gun at his head in response to Simon being like, hello guys, is probably going to be super reasonable about her offer of slavery.

Yep. That's the plan. And so he goes there and tries that. And he's like, good news guys, you can apologize and be a slave. And they're like, no. No, one of them is like, no, the other one's like, sounds good to me. Yeah, I'm like, oh, slavery sounds really nice. Ryan's like, you know what I said, you all right, I'll do it.

And why is does Amish guy have a home or does he live in the shack with his brother and his brother's poor wife who is literally sweeping the cinder blocks that make up the porch of your house? She's sweeping dust from one side of her dust to her other side of her. She's just moving rubble. Yeah, that's all that's happening. And yes, I think Ryan the brother lives with them. Yes.

Okay. All right. But the point is, they're going to come to the ranch that night to apologize and like officially agree to their slavery. Well only Ryan promises to be the key. Right. Only Ryan. Gun Jesus does not promise that. He has a very different plan which we're about to get to.

So he goes back to the ranch and knocks on our door. She's not there. We see gun brother sitting on the porch stroking his gun. He's not going to go ask for forgiveness. This is not one of my favorite scenes. So he's got this really weird accent too. Like, he can't keep up with the southern accent and sometimes kind of sounds like a chimney sweep. And they're like, I can't quite follow. And he's just rubbing a rag over the barrel of his gun for literally no reason. Just like, he's not actually cleaning the gun. He's not doing anything methodical. He's just like, like getting vibes. And he says, he says this line, I ain't weak enough to give into anyone else's mercy. Aaron fucking sorkin over. Yeah.

Everyone was high five in the writers room. So deep, so deep. So good. I also, I got to mention his beard one more time. But who's beard? Simon's beard. Simon's beard. Okay.

So first of all, they're out on this like plane in Texas. So there's a lot of wind sometimes. And this has happened in the other episodes too. There's a bunch of wind and his beard is so big that it catches a good deal of wind, like a spinnaker amount of wind. And it flies up and it gets in his eye a little bit, but it hurts him a little bit because it hurts. Yep. To have your beard just get wedged off to the side like that. So you get to watch him be like weirdly uncomfortable. There's not a single scene in this show in the three episodes we've watched so far that doesn't attempt seriousness where Simon's beard isn't waving in the breeze like a wacky

inflatable arm to man. Kind of kills the vibe. And it's so big. I feel like he knocks over stuff where he's beard all the time. You know, like a dog doesn't know about its tail. Exactly. You know, he's just, oh, I turned, sorry, I have to turn not as fast. I keep doing that. Fucking Apple TV. Yeah. So they show up, Amish brother and Simon show up to apologize. She again, I don't know why she wasn't there.

I don't understand anything about the choreography of this thing. She pulls up in her Jeep and she's like, oh, you didn't tell me it was them. Fuck that guy. I fucking hate him. Yeah, she goes, she goes, I'm calling the warden. Like they just skipped the part where there's cops in the town and it's directly all the warden. Yep, just straight to the warden.

Justice system war. It is on buzz the warden. I just straight to the warden. Justice system war. It is on buzzard ranches. Buzzard ranches that you made survive off corn deer. Did you guys notice how there's a sign on the outside of our house that says, welcome to the ranch. Like the generic ranch. Like that's another thing.

If you own a ranch, you name it. And usually the name has to do with the cattle brand. Like you guys have seen this, like the lazy R and it's an R on its side, or like the rock and pee ranch, and it's a pee with like a semi circle under it. Like that's why they're called that because then they brand their cattle with that symbol. So this should say like, welcome to one corgi deer ranch. But I guess all of her cows are just branded with the ranch. Someone steals from her. No, no, I also have a ranch. Shit. Nah, they got me there. They got me there. But she comes out and she's like, I don't want thieves working for me. But, but that was

the whole conceit she agreed to. What did she think was going to happen. Right. That's the whole point. They stole her tea and they have, he has no counter argument. He literally is just like, Kelly, come on. Kelly. She doesn't say Kelly because he never uses that. Come on, lady, lady. Come on. Yeah. He wants Kelly to give this guy a chance. And just a moment ago, he was reading Romans 7, which is supposed to be like the specific Bible lesson. Romans 7, I went and checked. Obviously, I didn't have it memorized.

It's about how to be a slave to the law in a good way. That's what Romans 7 is about. And to be fair, Amish brother is fucking mailing it. Oh, Amish brother is the best. He's my favorite character of all this. He's like, I'm sorry, ma'am. He's got like everything down. He's paying his penance. He's very like sweet and lovable. I kind of want to hug him. I want to hug Amish brother. I don't like that she hates him.

And then as though this TV show realized it was about to reach a peaceful resolution, Jesus' brother just starts sniping at them. So weird. He's like up on a hill with a sniper rifle. And she literally goes, when you said he was coming, you didn't mention this.

Yeah, clearly he did not know that his brother was going to try to murder him. Or I don't think he would have walked into the line of fire. You fucking idiot. I didn't bury that headline. This is new to me too. The maybe getting murdered. Oh, sorry. I should have explained. I'm coming in my brother's bringing bullets. He sent a bullets as his messenger. Seems weird that I didn't mention mention. And Simon, again, action show, right? This is this is Suns of Anarchy, the Christian show. So Simon's like, what's the fastest route up there? I'll take you. I can't already know where he is. Well, I guess there'd be a straight line up there probably, but the fastest route would not involve a very slow giant. So,

I don't know how well this can go. They don't understand the purpose of sniping. Like they don't understand how sniping works, that you don't immediately know where the bullets are coming from. When you're being snipeed, somebody is in a position of safety, right? They can see you, but you cannot see them. That's what it is to be a sniper. Yet they immediately know where he is.

And they sneak drive toward him, which he can clearly see them doing, because he's a sniper. They plot their paper map. Oh, sniper hill. He probably had to wait. Give me two spots. He isn't not going to triangulate where he is.

Shouldn't have named it sniper hill. And like you're not going to sneak up on him. He has the vantage point. He can see you driving towards him. It is so stupid. It is so stupid, but it's even dumber when they try to sneak up on the sniper with a golf cart. A golf cart, they sneak, the golf cart might as well be on its tiptoes. That's how silly it is. They drive this golf cart up and get the, they get the drop on him. Yep.

They do. Yeah, but it's golden hour. So they get a lot of really pretty shots. It is the golf cart by Nissan Leaf. Yeah, it's just like super whisper. Yeah. But you know, all golf golf carts are electric, right? So they are actually quiet.

Are they? Sorry. I actually explained that he comes from golf people, but not enough money to rent a golf cart people. I see. That's actually 100% accurate. I've been on golf carts though, and yes, I'm now realizing that yeah, they were probably all.

It's a very quiet action. I wouldn't be surprised though if Texas had like golf carts that roll. Golf carts with, yeah, with like a rocket engine behind them. No, they just literally take crude oil. You just take it out of the ground to put it straight in the end. Just shooting flames out of the front with a guitar player on it like Mad Max. Yeah, absolutely. My favorite though is the golf carts that are really quiet, but when you put them in reverse,

they go, BEE! BEE! And I wish that that would have happened in this scene. Oh, back to the last one. Back. They're backing up to try to party. That would have been good. Again, crazy billionaire remake. So they corner the brother and he's like,

don't you see, man, it can't get worse. And Amish brother, very rightly, is like, it can't get worse, dude. We stole a deer. You just tried to murder a lady. I know. And like, I love it. It's like, it can't get worse as if there are stakes,

but there are no stakes, because they forgot to give us the backstory. So I have no idea why this guy is so invested in murdering this woman. No, he's never shown any reason that he would murder her, except that like, well, this shows Sun's a Thunder,

there's gotta be some gun wrestling. Yeah. Well, speaking of gun wrestling, we get my favorite physical moment. In any TV show or movie ever, maybe, we get this giant basically doing a backup with a beep to sneak up on a sniper. And now he's physically, again,

nine-foot-tall enormous man, like, slinking up behind this guy with a gun. And he's, he can't decide what to do exactly. He's like, all right, what move should I use? Big face slap? No, sweet, sweet, the, strangled left. And then he, he like pump, pick, strangle left, thinks better of it. And then finally, strangles the guy to the right side. Pulls him down. Yup, so slow. Yes, he does. And clearly, this guy is a normal sized guy with a gun,

but he looks like he's my size next to the giant. He looks like a toddler. He looks like a toddler is about to be, he just like flash cuts over to him in his bounce a roux calming down, just like, okay, this is better. I'm sorry. I tried to shoot you. I just needed to get this energy out. So that's so ridiculous that we need to go back into the flashback. Oh, yeah. Okay. A flashback while strangling a guy who has a gun is when this is happening. He had a concussion, all right? Yeah. In the crazy millionaire

remake, we just show him flashing back as this guy's like, can't breathe, please. And this this show is going for the argument we've heard a million times on the show, which is like it doesn't matter how bad a person you are. Jesus loves you anyways. Except there's this weird, maybe I was trying to get raped angle to it. Oh, really? Did you guys pick up on this? I didn't pick up on this, tell me about it. I have no idea what you're talking about.

She's like, oh, Jesus loves everybody, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, this bar is full of rapists. That guy over there was going to rape you. And she's like, maybe I want it to be here anyways. And he's like, oh, I mean, they got a vet And he's like, ugh, glee game.

I mean, they got a vet life group for you, lady. Don't just come into random bars. Look at that. Also, I'm confused because when you guys told me the setup of the show, you said this is like Biker Christian guy in a Biker gang, like a Christian Biker gang driving around. So I'm sitting here thinking this is a Christian Biker bar.

So why is it full of rapists? Oh no, this is a Christian biker bar. So why is it full of rapists? Oh no, this is his old biker bar. He's the only one who became Christian. He's the other again. There's no more Christians. I see. Christian music bonfire. So basically he's like, that guy was going to rape you.

I may or may not, would you like to leave with me and find out? It's just like, sounds good. Also clearly those apple tini's were delicious seeing as how they were 100% full when they get up to leave. That just walk away from extremely full apple tini's. I mean, Cara, let's be honest, there is no physical way to shoot that actor drinking an apple tini that isn't the funniest thing in the universe. Yes, it's all beard would like go into the beard little challenge. He's beard turns bright green, just sucks it off.

Didn't get any. It like slowly rises up. Like, so I'll read it out in the shower. Don't worry about it. Fun fact, this is also a lead test. The water here is not great just so you get the heads up. So they walk away. That's the end of that doodly do. Meanwhile, back

in the show, gun brother is under arrest for attempted murder. I think so. Yeah. But not the year's ceiling. Which is so it's homage brothers like, Hey, thanks for not telling the cops about the deer. I wrote my notes, I think the murder charges will be sufficient, man. And I love that heat litter and we goes, it was super cool of you to give Ryan that full time job. That's the weirdest way to say that sentence, like the talk like that with benefits and weekends. Wow. And an attractive benefits, but I thought a number was going to pop up on the bottom of the screen

and I'm second. Fuck in a $15 an hour. Thanks to Joe Manchin finally, Kaven. Yeah. God. And then he like points to Jesus, like something happens. And he like references Jesus. This is the very end of the episode. He's like, you're a good woman. Jesus is up there and he like references Jesus. This is the very end of the episode.

He's like, you're a good woman. Jesus is up there and he loves you. And she makes, she has this look in her eyes. Like it's like this look of disdain. Literally like she was thinking, I was gonna fuck you, but you keep talking about Jesus and it instantly turns my vagina into the mohavi. You need to leave now.

As someone who's been on the recipient end of this look multiple times, Cara Santa Maria, you need to check your privilege. Okay. You tell people a little bit of fun magic history and all the sudden this blind date is over. I don't want to get into it. I feel it's. David, it's some people say it's a disease if it's not like the mohavi.

That's actually a medical thing from a doctor. Like doctor wife. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. This is just the end of the episode. This is it.

This is it. And I should point out you weren't here. There has been less and less in each episode, right? We cannot help but believe that the next episode will just be him taking a painful shit and playing poker, though. It's going to be great. And poker. Okay.

So did Kelly the rancher learn a lesson here? Who? What's the moral of the story? They're suggesting there was a moral because he's leaving now. So that means it's done. All of us put that in our notes. What was the point of it? What was that? Why did

I watch? I hate you guys so much. But that's it. Now we leave. That's the end of the episode. What do we say? No, he just drives away being like, do you know, neither ranchers who need like a lesson and a work thing where I live with them? No, I'll find them. It's my thing. I find them. Also, no payment for this work. So maybe she just like then mose him later. I think the payment was living in that very nice airbnb and some venison sandwiches that he never ate. That they never ate whatever. Yeah. So apparently we learned about the godly way to enslaved people for stealing. That's the point of Roman seven and Romans eight, I guess. So which Bible story do you want to see Simon teaching next? Oh, I want one of the ones where like anything happened.

You and me both, Karis. Or what bird can you blame it on when you fuck your daughters while you're drunk? That's a good one. That, yeah. It's an important section from the book of God. Yep. All right, well, we'll see what happens. They've got at least a handful of episodes left.

While that does it for our review of Suns of Thunder Episode 3, that's not going to do it for the episode just yet, because we found more bad art on the internet. So Eli, what's on deck? We'll be watching the pro-conversion therapy documentary censored. It's all about how the people who want to lie to children about whether or not they can un-gay themselves by praying are being censored in their documentary that they made

and is on YouTube. All right. Well, with that to look forward to, we're going to wrap it up. Huge thanks to Kara as always. And is there anything that people should know about coming up for you? Yeah, I mean, I'm probably going to watch another horrible fucking garbage movie because I'm totally not busy, you know, seeing patients, writing a dissertation, and working on two other podcasts or anything.

So yeah, when is my debt going to be paid off, guys? I told you, we can discuss it at the bloodmin. Also, this is a get ahead, Cara. So you're probably going to be a dentist by the time people hear this. Don't worry about it. You guys know I'm not going to school to be a dentist, right? I've been talking about my patients. I was, he does that.

He doesn't have that. He doesn't have that. No, I'm not working on their teeth. For audio. All right. Also, I like to give a big thanks to our Patreon donors for all the generosity. He went that, yeah, no, not working on their teeth. Or audio. All right. Also like to give a big thanks to our Patreon donors for all the generosity.

If you'd like to help support the show, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash god awful. And I'll get you early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help stop by leaving us good reviews. And by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, you should check out our sibling shows, the skating atheist, citation needed, the skeptic rat and D&D Monas, available in all the podcast places. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email GodAlphaMoviesatgmail.com,

legal services for this podcast to provide by the love, this is a P-Andrator as our theme song's written performed by Ryan Slonic, the Evil Drafts on Mars, all other music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week, for Cara Santa Maria and Eli Bosnick, I'm Heathen Wright, promising to work hard to earn another chunk next week.

Until then, we'll leave you with the animal house close. The characters in this show went on to...who the fuck knows, I don't even think they have names. Simon does have a name, didn't catch it in this episode, you're correct. But Simon went on to broker a 50-shuckle payment from a rapist to the father of the victim, and then married that rapist and victim together, just like God intended. That's in the Bible. Shooty gun Jesus was surprised to learn that attempted murder carries a much heavier jail

sentence than deer stealing. I gotta start recording, record to the club. Oh my God. Oh, I allow the recording. Yeah, I have a university one. So that was so weird though, it like said it verbally. Mm hmm. Yeah. I have a university one two. Does it do that? It does. If you have all the like safety, don't be gross settings on, which NYU automatically turns on and doesn't let you turn off. Gotcha. Okay. NYU is by far the most problematically woke university in the country, according to Matt Shapiro.

So. Oh. Venture Pier need to check out my school, my psychology only school that has a social justice and diversity concentration. Oh, yeah. You would have missed if you knew about it. Yeah. I'll watch care of fight, Ben Shapiro. That's good to see you. about it. Yeah. I'll watch Kara fight Ben Shapiro.

That's good to you. It'd be fun. It'd be amazing. But good money on Kara. All right. Kara, you left your righty. South wall. Righty.

I think. I don't know what this I punch with, but yeah, I'm assuming I'm right. I would say use both with bench pyro. Yeah, I think so. Fist and knees. Yeah, a lot of knees and elbows, little Moitai. Just misdirect him with his doctor wife.

I think, yeah, I think all I have to do is just say the word vagina a lot and he'll like run screaming. He'll be very disoriented. That's coughing. Yeah. Yes. coughing. Are we gonna sink? We don't know five count. Oh, five guy was like, he's fucking start.

All right. Just sitting here. They're so nice. I'm sorry. That's a huge silence. There you go. All right. I'm recording Morgan. You missed it. But Cara's going to

come play poker with us when we sucker her into being and I'm going to lose and I'm going to be really he's going to lose and Noah's going to lose and she's going to be present for that horrifying tension that happens when he's going to know a play games. Oh, yes. Do you guys get like on tilt really easily? It's, I just don't lose. I don't know what Eli's talking about. I win in all the games. A human can be go through.

I love it when people go on tilt in a way that's not acceptable. Like it's disproportionate to the amount of money on the table. And you're like, calm down, bro. Oh, yeah. You should absolutely tell them to calm down. That's great. That's great.

That's great. We'll be jumping out of the window with a parachute. But right before I do that, you tell everyone involved to calm down. No, no, Eli, you and I will just be sitting there eating popcorn, being like, oh my god, this is going to make the best golf for someone. Okay, you do get me that is what I. Yeah.'s what yeah, I'm accurate. All right five count five count Like you like my my tix is excellent. You got it down Born and raised We which occasionally have marsh do a Texas accent. It doesn't And we'll ask close. Oh, he didn't say it.

Good trick. You like normal choice to say breakfast. I was like, what happened? I almost deffy duct him there. He totally deffy ducted. This is a damn it. That's a season funk. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC, copyright 2021. All right, reserved. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC Copyright 2021.

All right, it's reserved.