God Awful Movies - 303: Censored

Episode Date: June 8, 2021

This week, guest masochist Patrick Davis joins us for a review of Censored, the story of a bunch of bigots who thinks nobody wanting to listen to them is the same as them not being allowed to talk. --- Learn more about Patrick's magic show here: https://www.magicscam.com/ --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

He's got the very difficult task of saying something nice about conversion therapy at this point. And he's like, you know, a lot of people have the wrong idea. They think that we, like, you know, they just hit people with a baseball bat and say, don't be gay. That's exactly what he says. And he's like, we don't do that. Done with nice thing to say. I guess we're welcome. Thanks. Thanks. Good point about your thing. Guys, it's a softball bat.

They don't use a baseball bat. They use a softball bat. God awful. Movie. Movie. Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! Ooby! O Welcome back. Fuck your face. Everybody in this movie. Go ahead. Okay. Yeah. No, that's fair. And Eli will be unable to join us today, but sitting approximately the same distance to my northeast is returning guest massacres Patrick Davis. He's one of the founders and producers of scam New York, the first magic show to return to New York City following this most recent apocalypse. Patrick, welcome back. Yeah, this was a bad movie. I'm not sure

that there's going to be a third appearance if they keep going. We don't normally get return gas. I'll be honest with you. You know, I'm going to do this motion picture. It's no motion. You know what? I'm going to even say motion picture is, is, is being generous. This will be power point. Yeah. Very little motion in this picture. So he's, tell us what will we be breaking down today? We watched this picture so he's tell us what will we be breaking down today? We watched censored on YouTube. It's a pro conversion therapy document. That is what call it that I called it a motion picture earlier. I'm giving it a lot of it. Not really. Yeah. Both of those descriptors. But more importantly, it is I'm pretty sure a prank by a genius gay man who snuck into the movie pretending to be an example of successful conversion therapy and then he spent about two hours making

an escalating series of more and more overtly sexual comments about very clearly the gay sex he's having all the time and loving. He's the best if that's what happened. John was fucking awesome. Yes, yes. I noticed that myself. And Patrick, how bad was this movie? You know, actually it made quite a few good points. 17 good points to be a accident. And from those 17 good points, it made about five solid recommendations. And from those five recommendations, it made about three good points of action and from those three point and I'm straight now. Oh no, shag. Yeah, it just happens that fast. Yeah, right, right.

That quality is fluid. This movie revels in its verbosity. We'll get there. But yeah, at the very ending, the guy's like, now I'd like to make a few points. 17. Are you going to read them all?. Are you gonna read them all? He is gonna read them all. Wow. On the screen, he will read them. Do they all have extra adjectives in them?

Great. All right, so is there anything you guys want to nominate? This one for being the best at being the worst at? Yeah, I think it's the best, worst use of the future tense when talking about events in the past. Okay. What eventually are you talking about? Exactly.

So I was gonna go, I stole the obvious one here. I'm gonna go with best worst, tiny little microphone. So it's my favorite. Here's what happened. It's clearly, okay, so a big chunk of this movie is taken from some convention, some XG convention, where they have these two speakers,

this, you know, the dude who's playing the part of ex gay and a woman who's playing the part of ex gay, and they're giving their testimonies. And at some point, the microphone they were used in broke and this guy was talking to quietly for the lapel mic to pick him up. So eventually the solution was to get him to hold this tiny little lapel mic up to his mouth, like it was a regular-sized microphone. And we just see the end result of that. And he's telling at times a very tragic story of like the lack of acceptance in his church, et cetera, et cetera.

But he's doing it while talking into this tiny little chip-munk-sized microphone. And it's fucking hilarious. He looks like a giant trying to hold his new best friend human without pushing into that. So good. So I was going to go with best worst accent. We, oh, okay. So the narrator lost a lot of Quebecy listeners. Yeah, yeah.

I would like, finally a movie without an accent. Finally a man who just speaks normally, Zian, tie a tie. Oh my God. It's so much worse than what you just heard. Yep. It's this ridiculous Kabaqwa accent. But it's not so that's a real accent. I've heard it before.

Yeah, he sounds kind of like that, but he's doing it. It's like a robot was programmed to have a K-Bacquai accent and they were like random syllable stresses. There you go. That's how we do it now. It makes- They just had a bunch of accent marks that they dropped on the way in or something. Yeah.

It reminds me a little bit of how like no other people on the planet spoke the way the Kennedys did. Okay. It's like, there's that, like, it's a version of a Boston accent, but unique to just this one person. Right. So this is like the Kennedy Kebacquist. Yeah, it's like, okay, yeah, it's an actual accent, but nobody else, it's a weird dialect

of it that only one person uses. Well, to be what, we have an awful lot of French Canadian to translate on the other side of this break. So we're going to need a minute to prepare, but we'll be back in a flash with all the gratuitous adjectives of censored. The vaccines are flowing, the lockdowns are ending, and here we are slowly emerging from our burrows squinting at the harsh and unfamiliar sunlight as we timidly poke our heads out into the post-social distancing world.

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for each clothing style. Consider the new Cuts hoodie, where they developed Hyperloop French Terry fabric, a textile that's temperature controlled and ageless. Really? Although seem like unexpected descriptors for fabric, I wasn't ready for that. Yeah, don't they though?

Yeah, like it has a thermostat and like a fountain of youth. It's have exciting. Yeah, no idea, but they're super comfortable. They look great and you'll never want to take them off. Or how about the wrinkle free peek-a-polo? A design that keeps you fitted for the office, the golf course at home, the gym, or on your next date. Each piece of clothing is designed with custom engineered fabric

expertly graded for the perfect fit, arming you for every challenge and opportunity. Yeah, well, I mean, at least the challenges that call for custom engineered fabrics. That's, that's, that's, that's a lot of challenges like that. But I don't know, no, it, it feels like it's maybe just a lifestyle. It's, it's not just a lifestyle. Okay. I mean, is it just clothing then? It's not just clothing.

It's office leisure apparel for the sport of business. Okay, I would not have guessed that it would be for the sport of business. The sport of business indeed. And right now you can get 15% off your first order by going to cuts clothing dot com slash gam. Go to cuts clothing dot com slash gam for 15% off the only shirt worth wearing. Hello everyone, welcome to the first right terstrum meeting for censored, the expose in which we shall position this forcefully with study for our position,

no matter what, the main street medium says. Zah. Zah, I think. Now, the most important thing is that we expedite this in the most clarified way we can. Yeah, exactly. Which is why I, I suppose, that I will be best suited for

to being the narration for within the movie. Wait, what? Sorry. You want to be the narrator? I feel yes to it. Yes, about one minute out of every five should be camera in right on my Bulbush head, where I express to the audience that they're sink full ways or for boating this cursor to tennis spacious. What?

Sorry, Michelle, we have other people involved that could do the job. What makes you think you're the best spokesperson? I am bilingual. Are you though? And this means I am the one with speaking the most languages, so I am twice as much communication as that. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, but English isn't exactly your first language.

Ha, you'll notice. Most, mostly people cannot. Really, they can't. I bet you think cashiers are flirting with you a lot. They, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. Well, I am not pull to me, but I will digress if you insist. Great. Great. Okay, so what are the best arguments we have in favor of conversion therapy?

Right. Well, some studies show that it only harms some participants. We don't use shocking with electricity for decades now. And the guy who retracted the most influential study on our side of the argument was pretty old when he apologized for it. So he was old when he apologized. Uh, okay.

Is that, are we done? Is that the best we have? Yeah, bye, bye, about a mile. Mm-hmm, yeah. Okay, so yeah, Michelle, you go ahead and narrate. That's great. Cause off for this. And we're back for the breakdown.

And as we've already implied, there's not a lot of movement in this picture. We're actually going to spend a lot of time reading the movie instead of watching it. And just to make that extra annoying, whenever text appears, it will do so to this real metallic sound that I described in my notes as razor spiders scurrying across a chalkboard. Constantly like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,

do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, did. Yeah, yeah, there's definitely a, like, you can tell they're going for some like spy thriller bullshit. That like, this is a secret file that we're accessing on a computer because, right, though, even though this message is censored,

we're still watching it somehow. Yeah, right, no, it's in the whole premise of this documentary that we watched on YouTube is that they'd never let you play this documentary on YouTube. Yeah, isn't it? Yeah, they actually never let you play this documentary on YouTube. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. They actually say nobody talks about this because it's not politically correct. I don't think it's the um,

rebald nature of the hate crime that's the problem for us. It's the hate crime itself. Right. More. He says or the typing says the topic of this documentary will never be discussed on popular TV shows. I'm like, no, no, they'll bring it up. They'll just talk about how it's a crime. Well, but also like the topics of lots of movies will never be brought up on popular

talk shows. Like I don't think any popular talk show has ever seriously discussed the topic of geostorms and equally real phenomenon. Like researchers for a major public affairs programs will also avoid talking about geostorms. What are they trying to hide about geostorms? Like just because you made a movie about it doesn't mean everyone has to talk about it. So we open up the movie proper after the disclaimer on the question of whether gayness comes with an expiration date. And this is where we get the K-Bacquah narrator guy. And I was like, yeah, okay, the clicky typing, maybe just stick with that. A lot. The narrator from the disco tech.

For the rest of the movie, I couldn't even understand it at times. Like, yeah, it would take me a couple of sentences at least to like zero in on the crazy accent when it came back to like find it and it's like weird cadence. Yeah, before we see his face though, we're treated to this like and it keeps recurring throughout the movie several times. It's like a weird slideshow like like when I when I made the joke earlier about like that. This isn't really movie. It's more of a PowerPoint presentation. It's because like so much of it is like where they've gone on like I stock photo and they've pulled pictures of just like boardrooms and people shaking hands and two people standing next to each other and they's just like obvious stock photos

and are doing like use eye movie to make them glide across the screen. Yeah, you can tell they didn't let any gay people work on this. Because everything about it is just amateurish and clearly this was edited together using iMovie and GarageBand. Well, it was so amazing about those stock footage is that they'll so rarely have anything to do with anything anyone saying. Right. You'll just have like time lapse photography

of a busy intersection. You just be like, we're not talking about traffic or time passing or anything like that. It gets a feeling they have a subscription to like I stock photo and it only comes with certain pictures. And so rather than like buying the rights to the pictures that are relevant, they have to like kind of go through their file and be like, all right, well, this one sort of fits. Yeah. Right.

Like an Edward assembly of some sort. Okay, I got you. Although I will say he, in his pronunciation, he keeps talking about the gay lobby, but he pronounces it as gay lobby, and I love that, so goddamn much, I must have gay lobby in my notes 400 times. Oh yeah, it's definitely,

I've had to teach my computer that it's not, I'm a spelling, that the galaby is what I'm actually going to start calling it now because I'm I'm reclaiming it. There you go. All right. So then we meet our two main speakers from that, you know, recovered gay convention that we were talking about. This is John Murray, not his real name, and Christine, some are another. And they're coming to us live from a fucking

Ramada somewhere or something and telling us the story of how they cured their gainess. And of course, this starts with just the tragic story of being gay in a society that didn't accept you with religious parents in both instances. Yeah, right. I think Christine says, I remember being horribly depressed because religion tells me my true self is evil. So I've now stopped being my true self nailed it. Like that's the message. Right. The problem must have been my true self.

Yes. Buck, why is John using a false name? Like his fate, like he's putting his face out there. Like if he's hoping that, I mean, granted, for an audience of dozens of people. Like nobody is watching this movie. Like half the views are us. But like usually like when someone's like,

I mean, I'm speaking about something that would, that would ruin my life if it became public that I held this opinion. Like usually they're like, it's situated in shadow and their voice is modulated. And it's like, you know, but he's just like, no, no, you can, you can film me at this place in a room full of people talking.

Just say my name is John. Right. Well, so now to be fair, we've watched an awful lot of these Christian documentaries in the past. Sometimes they have a lot of trouble with voice modulation. So we've seen that go terribly terrible. They don't have that technology. Not often. This use of blurr was a big success compared to a lot of stuff.

Yeah. All right. So yeah, so we meet John. We also meet Christine who also has like, you know, look, I don't want to make fun of these people. These people are victims. Obviously, of course not. And like his story is like very, like his story reminds me of this guy

affecting college. Like it's this very common thing of like, I mean, it's very sad with these people went through. Yeah. Well, yeah. And Christine story includes sexual abuse as a child. And we spent an awful lot of time on John not being good at sports. Not sure why that was super relevant. It could be because he was masturbating five or six times a day. That's going to hurt your mobility. I just feel like a little bit sports wise. I don't know.

I'd that see that would see he's already doing interval training at such a young age. I figured that would make him great at it. You know, some stuff anyway. There is something that is like, like their stories are really tragic, yes. And what was done to them was a crime. But it almost felt like a fetish the way he would just get up and reveal

the most humiliating things about his adolescent. It's real, because they had nothing to do with anything at a certain point. Yes. This is the prank guy. I have a funny feeling. This is the guy I was talking about. I think he was pranking.

He was like, it was wrestling. It was weighing day and they made us all line up in our underwear. And the coach made me stand on the scale and I was two ounces over. So he said, take your underwear off. So then I had to stand naked in front of all my friends. And then I was still an ounce over. So he said, go take a dump so I went and just took a shit and then I came back and I was still 0.02 ounces over a weight.

And I just like, you know, you don't have to, this doesn't have anything to do with what you're talking about. Why are you still telling us this? Right, but I digress anyway, the specials today. I mean, kept like winging at the camera after he would do these stories. I'm pretty sure he was fucking the people who made this. So there I am naked and shitting in front of everyone I respect. And then I still too fat to wrestle.

It's like, what are you doing? Yeah, but so, and of course, the implication of this dumb fucking movie is that he wasn't good enough for the wrestling team. So he fucked dudes. Right? Like the implication is that this is all the stuff that turned him gay in the first place, which is wild because like. If what you're saying is that because I guess you were bad at sweatily grappling men. It made you just want to sweatily grapple men hard.

There's like a misstep of like, you would think it'd be like, oh, maybe I'm not supposed to be sweatily grappling men. Maybe I should go find another hobby. Yeah, exactly. So okay. And this is also where we're going to meet psychologist and researcher Joseph Nicolosi who I believe has done us the favor of dying before now. By the time this movie came out, I don't know, but but this is a shitty terrible fucking guy who's going to be talking to us from a completely overlit bathed and drowned in sunlight courtyard in patio. Oh, yeah, he's at almost certainly in Florida. Yes. Uh-huh. And he's really going to lean into this whole like gayness is caused by bad parenting

trope, right? Because the first thing they have to establish, you know, to make the argument they're trying to make is that nobody's born gay, you're abused into it or you're humiliated into it or you're shitty dadded into it or something like that. In Nicolose's own words, boys don't quote internalize their masculinity. Yeah, but the language he uses, he says that because you don't have a strong, you know, male figure or whatever, that you become the good little boy. And that's like his term, the good little boy is who becomes gay and these are shy, timid,

terrified of breaking the rules. And you just think about like, look, I know a lot of gays. And the one thing that this community is not especially known for is being shy, timid, terrified of violating rules of social norms. Like these are not, sure, some of them are, but yeah, and the other thing they're known for is internal hyasing masculinity. If you know what I mean, so yeah, terrible phrasing one way or the other. Just like, I don't think anyone's ever seen like a bunch of gays out on the town and

said, oh, what a bunch of shy and timid people who are afraid of making a scene. Right. So we go back to Johnny, tells us some more humiliating stories about his wrestling tryouts. And then we meet Laura Haines, who is introduced to this movie as a quote, psycho log.

What? Yeah, that's just French for psychologists. The movie is in English. Just use the English. I don't understand why they have one thing in French there. See, I felt like like she was avoiding a legally protected term there. I'm a psycho log. Oh, are you?

Yeah, I'm just nice. Anyone can be. Me too. Yeah, actually now that you mentioned it, I also am going to add that to my card. So she comes in, Laura Haynes comes into explaining that most of her clients are bullied by society and to hating themselves. And she's so fucking catalyst that she can describe that without realizing that that's what she's describing. Right. She's talking about like, Oh, yeah, you know, the clients come in and they're so desperate not to be themselves. And nobody will help them, not be themselves anymore. Those poor, poor people. Because again,

that's going to be one of the main themes of this argument is that, you know, we're not going out there trying to change who gay people are. We're waiting for gay people to come to us and ask us to change them. We're just trying to make that service available if they want it. Yeah, there's a very sort of insidious shell game that this movie does, because on its face, what this movie is proclaiming to do, it's something actually quite innocent, that there are adults who are unhappy with their lives, and it's because of this one reason, and they want to come to us for help. This is just a service we wanna provide to certain unhappy people and the entire world is plotting against us to stop us.

And it's this thing that we're like, on its face of it, you're kind of like, well, yeah, I mean, we let adults make all sorts of decisions that I might personally disagree with. Like you can eat McDonald's every day for your entire life if you want to. I wouldn't recommend it. And I think it's probably unhealthy and dangerous. But like if that's how you want to live your life, you know, we let adult smoke cigarettes

if they want to is probably unhealthy for you. But if you want to do it, go do it. But I think where it starts to come apart is when you start to say, if that's all it is, then why is the gay lobby trying to shut you down? Right. Well, and they talk about this shit. They want to shut us down because they want to, they think it stands in the way of their goal

of causing homosexuals to be accepted. Well, okay, well, why would it stand in the way of causing homosexuals to be accepted? Well, because if you can change, then we don't need to accept homosexuals. Also, so what you're saying is that it shouldn't, it's not just a voluntary thing that you're trying to do for people who want to change, then we don't need to accept homosexuals. Also, so what you're saying is that it shouldn't, it's not just a voluntary thing that you're trying to do for people who want to change, because if your point of view was, we want to help only people who want help, and if you don't want help,

that's fine. Go live and be a happy gay, but if you don't want it, we're here for you. I think that's a message that people would probably find weird, but like we let Mormons do that. Like, if you want to go be a Mormon, go be a Mormon. It's, you know, not great for you, but sure. Right? Plenty of people are happy being Mormons. But if the argument was, well, if we allow people to become Mormons, then we can persecute and not accept anyone who's not a Mormon because you have the choice

out to become a Mormon. Suddenly, that's a lot more in city. And that's the sort of unspoken thread that runs through this whole movie is, yeah, but what you're advocating is not that people just live their lives however they want. Otherwise, all of this wouldn't be necessary. Also, one of the differences, they want to be called doctors here, and we have rules about that like, McDonald's can't call itself a doctor and serve you big Macs as a doctor

that you can get big Macs, but you can't be. Right. Tricked into believing you're going to a doctor and being handed a big Mac as medicine. You know, a doctor can't prescribe you cigarettes as medicine, but you can go get cigarettes. If you want, we know that's bad for you. Right. Well, and nobody's stopping fucking Michelle. What's his name from going up to people and go, oh, g de boog, g de boog, g de stop being gay, right? What we're lobbying for, what the laws are about is not letting people do this under the

guys of therapy, not letting people charge to do this. Correct. Yeah. And that's a sort of game that this movie keeps playing. And we'll see as we go through this. And I, you know, like I said, it's kind of this thing that this underguards the entire, the entire movie is, is this game that they play with the goal posts are constantly shifting because at some points, the movie, when they're trying to make one point, they're going to say things like look, we're only trying to help people who want help. And sometimes when they're talking about research, they say, look, we found that in some cases,

some people are capable of changing their sex. You know, that's what these researchers found. And so if it's capable for some people, it might be for you. But then other times they make the argument, well look, if this person changed and must be, everyone can change. And all of a sudden it's like, well that's not the claim you were making 20 minutes earlier in the movie. It goes on and on and we're gonna be talking about this

throughout this whole thing. But it's just, it's where it begins right here is what this lady is where we're beginning to play the shell game of, because we're hiding what our motive is, the particulars of it don't actually matter. And we can be flexible with those to whatever argument we're currently making in this exact instant.

And we can change it later for trying to make a different argument because what we're trying to do is not actually what we're saying we're trying to do. Yeah. And I think it's important that we spell that out right away in this movie so that, because otherwise, like a lot of the stuff that we're going to be pointing out won't make any sense. So yeah, just keep that in mind that that's undergirding the entire fucking thing. But John explains to us also and he's going to get back to this over and over again.

And again, I think this is how we got into Heath's introduction. But he starts talking about how he really wanted to be touched by other boys. And then he puts this really long pause on it. He's like, but not in a sexual way. I wanted to fuck dudes, but not in a sexual way. I wanted to fuck, dude, but not in a sexual way. Yeah, we get his quote here that he says, I was misled by the idea that being sexually attracted to men made me gay. Yeah, what? I like, hey, I too have been misled by the idea that being sexually attracted me to maybe dead.

And then I learned that words just mean whatever we want them to, and that is how I became a psychologue. Yeah. Now, when I typed out psychologue, the spell check recommended I changed it to psychiatrist, and frankly, I feel like I'm being censored. Yes.

Oh, you are. That's big tech trying to shut me down. Yeah. And I will not be silenced. So then, uh, fucking Michelle, the kebac wash shows back up to sort of sum up what we've learned so far, which is that these people aren't born gay. They were beaten into it and forced into it by unstrupulous people. And I'm like, my God, are you going to accuse me of being the bald one in the powder blue shirt with the

funny accent next? Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, there's so much projection here. And like, look, I was not the smallest guy on the wrestling team. I didn't have an abusive father. My father was very lovely. I grew up in a Catholic home going to a church every Sunday. I went to Catholic school until college.

And yet somehow, I still liked men. Like if homosexuality was this like emerge, like if it emerged from like, yeah, dramatic circumstances of childhood, then you wouldn't have me an incredibly well-adjusted and universally beloved homosexual. Well, but that's just the thing. Yeah, exactly.

There are so many people that disproved their fucking point, but they're nowhere to be found in these documentaries. Instead, we get this goddamn, they're gonna spend like the next five minutes of this movie introducing all the experts that are on their side. Starting with Dr. Joe Joseph Nicolosi, we've already met him. He is one of the three co-founders of North, the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. That's a pleasant sounding acronym there, right? No. Oh, don't worry. They're going to spice that up and make it all futuristic soon.

Yeah. It's just a name. I'm like a 90% sure that it's what pinkie yells and pinkie in the brain. I think you're right. It's so weird that all of their experts teach at religious schools. That's just such a wild coincidence that everybody would be a religious Nutter that they came up with that's so weird. They all look like the main villain in a Spike Lee movie. Oh my god, this is like the fucking Suicide squad of Spike Lee movies is what we're being and suicide squad of Spike Lee movies is what we're being introduced to. Yeah.

That's what this movie should be called. Have you ever heard of the show? It's on Netflix. Forged in Fire. It's a knife making show. No. So it's like a knife making competition show. It's very dumb.

But I watched every episode of it because each episode is four different contestants. And each one is their own unique type of sword guy. And like, when you think of sword guy, we all have the same image from like the guy who bought swords at the mall growing up. And I didn't know there were so many unique varieties of them. Like, like, some of them are like very religious sword guys and some of them were kilts. And exactly one of them is a very religious sort guys and some of them were kiltz and exactly

one of them is a woman. And like, it's like, it's like, it's like, oh, I didn't know that this subculture had so many like, you need, it's like, baskin robins of sword guys. And that's what this list was like for like watching these people pop up on screen. I'm like, oh, yes, if I saw any one of these people, I'd be like, yes, they are the stereotypical anti-gay bigot. But then when you see them, you see like the rainbow coalition of like, I mean, if I saw any one of these people, I'd be like, yes, they are the stereotypical anti-gay bigot. But then when you see them, you see like the rainbow coalition of like, I mean, they're all white, but like the rainbow coalition of flavors of like all the different ways you

can be this very one specific thing. Yeah. Like the Dick Tracy bad guy line up of hate crimes. Right. Yeah, it's like cartoon villain. It's like, oh, but there's so many types of cartoon villains that saw this whole world out there to explore. There's Rumpley Face Guy, there's Triangle Guy. Yeah. Yep. Okay. So then we check back in on John and we also, we learned that he also got picked

out on a high school like this whole fucking movie is a bad date at this point. Yeah. I feel bad for him. I mean, you know, like unlike the rest of humanity, he spent his adolescence feeling awkward and insecure and thinking a lot about sex. Like, Brian, can you imagine if you were 12 or 13 or 14 and you just felt inadequate or like you didn't belong, it must have been really rough, it must have been really hard on. Wow, I mean, come on, that's easy for you to say you have a normal sized microphone to talk into, okay?

One of the screws. Oh my God. Okay. One more mic thing here. Christine comes back on and she has a microphone, like a standard stage singing into microphone now. Right. The one that broke before John went on, yeah.

I think John broke his and she was like, this is my personal microphone. I will plug it in when I'm ready. You're going to break it. So she still has hers, but they didn't give her enough wire. No, yes, you're right. Far enough away from her podium. Like she wanted to, she likes to do space work. She's like, got a performer and she's trying to like, go out and do stuff and she keeps forgetting how short the wire is. Yes. And getting tugged back for a second. It's the best. She's like the dog that's run around the tree too many times and now doesn't realize there's a way out.

And again, like John starts talking about when he came out to his parents, his dad said, just said, no, his mom said he was disgusting. And just as you're thinking to yourself, wow, those are some demonic fucking parents. Michelle comes back in and he's like, with the help of those awesome, supportive parents, John the managed to de-gay himself. I'm going to stop here right there, Noah. That's not what he says, because this is where he begins speaking in the future tense about things that happened a long ago.

What he says is, Michael will tell his parents that he is gay and his parents will say that he is disgusting and then they will throw him out and I'm like, wait, are you predicting what's going to happen when he said, all of man like, why are you talking like this? These things happened like 30 years ago. Seven of diamonds. What? What are you doing? Why are you talking this way? Well, okay. And then, and this is another one of these little bait and switch show games that they play in this fucking movies, right? So he starts pointing out that sometimes people's sexuality changes over their lifetime. Now, that is true, right? Like, yeah, yeah.

So, you know, sometimes bisexual people feel less bisexual as they get older, people realize later on in life that they're more attracted to the same sex, whatever. That does happen. So they keep pointing out like examples of that as though that is proof that gay conversion therapy works. Right. This is where he actually like he brings up this argument of like that there is no gay gene and no one has advocated seriously for a gaging in like 25 or 30 years. Like we know that's not how genes work. You're not going to find a gaging for the same reason. You're not going to find a smart gene or a funny gene. You know, it really not since the discovery of the X gene in 1963,

which gives me incredible and terrifying powers. Like, no scientific work has been produced. The idea that a single gene controls something as complex as human sexuality. It's just, there's no evidence to that. Yes. Yeah, but also assume that is true, just like this person did. I wanted somebody to be like, okay, well, that means there's no such thing as a straight gene. And he starts panicking. Lips looking approved. He has a straight gene. I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck. Called a boot cut.

So they double down on this distraction so much that the fucking Michelle might as well be like So they double down on this distraction so much that the fucking Michelle might as well be like waving around the deck and his right hand. Well, he's, you know, changing the fucking data with his left or something. Sorry. The boot cut. That's pretty fucking good. It's pretty good. Also, we haven't mentioned the music to this point.

And I just the music right now in the movie is almost certain that we are being chased through a jungle by saying sex attraction, right? The Galaby is after us. Yeah. So we check back in with Christine who explains that, you know, adjust as she was settling into a happy life as a lesbian and really understanding who she was. But evangelist came and started fucking with that. This is where she joined the Southern Baptist softball team. be an un really understanding who she was. But evangelist came and started fucking with that. This is where she joined the Southern Baptist softball team.

This was wild to me because they don't explain it at all. She just joins the Southern Baptist softball team. And to me, it felt like that like softball is such an irresistible pull to lesbians that their natural predators lure them in by starting a lead and get them to join the team. Like she was just like, so I joined the Southern Baptist evangelical softball team. And I'm like, why would you, why would you, why would you do that? It makes no sense. I'm sure there were other softball teams. They have to play against. Well, they play against like the Episcopalians and the Methodists. Like it was weird when they introduced it. I'm like, you're a lesbian. You can't find any other

softball team. Right. like that's the only one. And then we check back in with John and he's telling the tragic story of going to one therapist after another who would tell him, no, man, I can't stop you from being gay, but I can help you accept who you are. And he's like, no, they fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I'm going to go find somebody else. Right? Like basically, John's saying, like, boy, I sure wish somebody had beat the gay out of me when I was still young. He actually says that, right? Like, because he's like, because I, you know, I got so old before I got

the treatment that it was, you know, really, like, calcified within me. That's like stage four cancer. If you don't un-gay by the time you're 18, you're kind of fucked. Like, that was the message here. It's fucked up. Right. The message very clearly was we should be allowed to do this shit to kids Right, but they don't say it no like nowhere without this entire movie the argument is made about adults Yep about people coming to us wanting to do this and like at certain point like I'm probably this way I mean I'm thinking like I'm like there's a part of me that's a little conflict about this because like you know They're just talking about like adults going to them.

Look, Mitt Romney's a Mormon and he seems happy. Like, he has a very lovely life and his family seems very happy and like, sure, they have batshit crazy beliefs, but like, look, if it makes you happy, it makes you happy. And I'm like, I don't know if this guy, like, I think it's the money he got from the Sandinistas that makes him a little happy. Yeah, I think so. Again, whatever works, I don't, I don't think you should get money from Sandinistas, but if it makes you happy, then I guess you're welcome to go, you know, but like, so that's, but then the like, it's because the thing that they're not saying

is I think they're not supposed to say, which is it's not adults coming to them. It's parents sending their fucking kids to them. Exactly. Exactly. And the adults that do, and keeping in mind that John, this story he's telling, after he, like he tells this story for a while, and then he's like, and then I went to college, and that's when you realized that, oh my God,

this was like, he was looking for a therapist when he was 16 years old that would un-gay him. Right. And again, you have to like kind of extrapolate that from his story. He doesn't mention that. Do we want to talk about Christine's really funny joke here? I would love to. I would love to. She's really funny. No, she's good. You know you're crushing it when you have to stop in the middle of your speech and say, quote, yes, that was some humor and quote. Okay. she did have to do that, but it's because the entire room of people heard her say,

I was the runner up for the Miss Butch America pageant and the entire room. People was like, oh, second place in that. That sounds like a real turn. There's no second place in like congratulations. She's like, wow, idiots, no, that was a joke. I mean, joke. I mean, joke sometimes. It's not even an obviously a, like, there, that could be a thing that they do at some kind

of weird, like, yeah, I think it is real. I's not even an obvious liege. Like that could be a thing that they do at some kind of weird, like yeah, I think it is real. I wouldn't be surprised to lick it. If that was the real thing. Like I think that she made up a thing that actually exists. Oh yeah, right. And then when everybody was like,

oh well, I guess congratulations. She's like, no, it was a Chuck Humor with the funny. We don't know what to do now. You've made it go home, okay? Please do. I can't tell if I should clap or laugh. Anyways, the point is I think she's really funny. Yes. Oh, yeah.

She crushed a set. Okay. I was 100% team Christine in this moment. So she's explaining her experience with the Southern Baptist softball team. And so she's playing the sport. And you know, with her, she's like, well, with sports, the goal is to win, right? Obviously. And I was like, yes, obviously, Christine. And she was like in church sports, it's winner lose, glory to God. And I was like, wow, I've found something new to hate churches even more. I didn't know that. I hate this. I love Christine.

I'm pro Christine. She's so funny. Right? She is funny. Like in this section, she has some sticks. She actually has. Yeah, she was actually funny during this. I watched these and I just assumed going in like, okay, bigot team evil. I'm not even a shit on these people, but you're right. No, they're all she in particular was pretty funny. She told this section the way like any of us would like with all of the like she's got some stick. She's got she can tell No, she did all right there. She got her legs under her hair. They needed to give her more micwire. She yeah, yeah, right. She's like a Like she's funny. She's a space back. Listen exactly. All right. So then Michelle comes back to English at us some more. He Points out that you know all of John's previous therapists were a waste of time because they never made him less gay.

In fact, they made him even gayer. If you think about it, his same sex attractions were coming more and more often at this point. Now keep in mind that he was 16 at the time. You mean he was thinking more about sex at 16 than fifth? Whoa, whoa, they must have been fucking something up. I know there's this like, and I'm sure you all come across this all this time. We're like, it's almost like a magic trick where they go to, you know,

cause like when you're at that age, you don't think anyone else masturbates. You don't think anyone else thinks about sex. Like you feel like this mom, and so when they come in, they're like, let me guess. You think about sex. Oh my gosh, how did you know?

Right. Well, because you just have that look about you, like a deviant, and it's like, oh my gosh, they know something secret about me. It's like, no, like you're fucking 14 years old. Of course, that's what you like a deviant and it's like, oh my gosh, they know something secret about me. It's like, no, you're fucking 14 years old. Of course that's what you're doing. Right.

No, it's like the fucking horoscopes. Oh, wow, yeah, I do have a lot of ideas that I can't put into practice. Yeah, right, right. Exactly. We talked about masturbation a lot when I was 14. Everybody was talking about it. Yeah. Well, sorry, I.

I'm very clear that everybody's talking about. Sorry, I was from a happy family. Well, he was much more well-adjusted. I was well-adjusted. We he was he was much more well adjusted. I was well adjusted. We were I am not well adjusted. So I guess this all true. Yeah.

So, okay, then Michelle introduces his and he is so goddamn proud of this analogy. The weight loss analogy, right? Where he's like, imagine if right when people started getting fat, everybody said, oh, well, you can't try to change people's weight. That's what it's like to not let us do gay conversion therapy. People just started getting gay. Oh my God. And now we want to come up with gay diets and they just won't let us. Yeah. He actually says like foods became more available than everybody got obese. And I was like, oh my God, he's making this into an analogy. So he's gonna say that the Dix became available

and... Yeah. And literally that's what it says next. Yes. It was difficult for me to focus too much on what he was saying here because they were doing the Imovie like stock photo thing. And they found this picture of this like very happy smiling, very large man.

And they just linger on it. And if there's no book, just getting closer and closer on his face. Like it's not like, you know what, like news reports will do the thing where it's like people are still fat. They'll like take shots from the public, but they'll cut off their head. So it's just like bodies walking around. So you don't embarrass anybody. But they were assuming on this guy's eyes.

Yeah. There's no way this man knows he's in this move. Like he signed up for a photo session for a stock photo session one day. Probably took several lovely poses and thought, I don't know what those will be used for, but I got my check. And he has no idea that they're just making fun of him.

Yeah. Like look at this fatty. Like oh, he's just as bad as being gay. Right. Yeah. Well, so I want to point out what an accidentally perfect analogy this is, right? Because comparing gay conversion therapy to diets,

because generally speaking, their bullshit diet, your diets are anti-scientific nonsense that only temporarily mask one's obesity and the right thing is to just kind of get used to the fact that you're going to be a big person. Yes, you can control your fucking weight, but as for like, like that guy, we were seeing in that fucking photo, there's no diet that's going to make that guy thin, right? So what he's really asking is, wow, what would the world have been like if we had just

nipped fat diets in the bud early? And he thinks the answer is like Wow, I would have really sucked. We wouldn't yeah anywhere near as all these great fad diets Yeah, he said like when obese people asked for help doctors just made up these insane diets that were unhealthy and I was like All right, how long before you hear himself? What if the government could have banned the fraudulent anti-science dieticians. How great would it have been? I was like, all right, he's got no fraud.

No, he does not ever hear it. He's like, that would be a bad throughout the whole rest of the scene. And they move on. He never hears it. Yeah. I mean, yeah, like, look, all of his arguments are flawed. And like, of course, they are. But what's exciting to me, and I genuinely mean this,

this is the best that they've got. They've got a guy on a waterfront, shouting nonsense for a movie whose budget is about $400. And we'll be viewed by roughly the same number of people as my dog's Instagram. Like, like that's, to me, I just, I remember back in, when I was in high school in college, when you had George Bush, you know, like Bill Clinton signing the defensive marriage act and don't act don't tell

then George Bush, like, rodened all wave of reevalection by like changing states' constitutions in like 25 states to ban gay marriage, even though it was already illegal. Like there was just all of this anti-gay stuff was just so prominent in the culture. And like, it was everywhere and pervasive and like, like, the whole joke at the end of Ace Ventura is how disgusting the thought and idea of a trans person is that it makes you just barf. Like, that's what, like, that's where they were. And this is where they are now. This guy

just like, yeah, quickly trying to talk as fast as he can in front of a waterfront before they kick him off to close the parts for the evening. And I'm like, go to his shift at best by, yeah. Right. So that's what I'm like, I'm watching this. I'm like, yeah, I'm not making good arguments, but like, it's exciting to me that like, this is where we are these days. All right. Well, I'll tell you what, we're not going to have a lot of up notes to end segments. I think we're going to pause right there. But we'll be back soon with even more censored. Hey, Noah, what you doing there? You doing some

worth it, aren't you? You're fixing your adult night race, but but backwards. I'm adjusting my wireless headphones. You're adjusting wireless headphones with pliers? With pliers. Exactly. Yes. Okay. I guess it does say wireless on the side, but there's that giant bar running behind your head.

I feel like that does have a wiring. No, it's a bar, not a wire. Obviously, those are different words. Totally. Okay. Different words. That's true. Why don't you just try Raycon, though? What's Raycon? They're the perfect wireless earbuds, like true wireless earbuds, for being on the move again this summer, whether you're listening to Billy Joel,

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That sounds great. I just gotta loosen my old pair real rookies and we pass me that socket wrench socket wrench okay it's like bob dillon forgot which way the harmonica okay all right i get it i get it an intricate system of trusses uh-huh a lot and action

so the gay labi will have been in field trading the main day. Oh, what what was that? Sorry a little help. What? Little help with the hockey puck toss it back. We're playing a game That does not look like a game of hockey It's not we're we're making a movie on this public peer just like you know the puck is just a prop Can you toss it back? Ah, yes, fine. Thanks, and don't let us bother you.

Just go ahead with your movie. Okay, okay, cool. Great. And action. So the gay labi would be having infiltrating the media. Oh, what's the fuck, guys? Sorry, sorry. That was me again, a little help one more time.

Well, are you going to hit me in the face with the puck of hockey again? What? No, no, no, no, no, of course not. Okay, but here is the, no, it feels like, so there's a pattern, like a, a rules of three. And the students, I am start talking again. You, you are going to hit me with again. No, that is definitely not what's happening right now. Okay, okay, sounds good.

Here we go one more time. And... Action. So the gay lape will have an infiltrating the made... Oh, it's the dick this time! Okay, you had to see that coming, you. Whoa, I'm directing both movies. And we're back for more of this shit.

We're going to rejoin the action with them desperately avoiding the term conversion therapy by introducing us to the term migration therapy, totally different thing. It's not, but now they have spelled migration therapy in rainbow colors because the gays love that. They do the rainbow thing as like a pop scare. Like, I mean, I'm a letters.

Oh, God, Michelle's talking to us like everything he says is like he's trying to reach a word count. Holy fuck is this guy for both, but he gives us kind of the crash course on the history of gay conversion therapy. Yeah. Is this the guy who said that like the neuroscience of the 80s and 90s was like super amazing for

conversion therapy? And that's the basis for our thing now. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. And there's this quick thing that he does here because this is the first time where he, so he just back talking about the gauging here and he also says, you know, because

what the gay lib does, what you know is that homosexuality is a choice. And it's, you can tell that this is, this is a giveaway here, because up until now, like we've been hearing John talk. John was very clearly saying he did not choose to be gay. Yeah. Desperately did not want to be gay. He tried everything to not be gay and failed. He sought out therapists to make him not gay. And they could. So if it's a choice, it seemed like John very explicitly made the choice to not want to be gay, but still found himself being gay. Same with Christine, yeah, exactly, exactly. So you're just, you're getting more insight into the show game here

of like the argument you made in the first part of the movie is no longer the argument you're making now. No, yeah. Right. No, the goalpost posts go to wherever the fuck the balls can be getting kicked. Yeah. Yeah. They also say, you know, this is a nefarious plan by the Galibi to make society more tolerant and accepting. That's what I was like, you didn't hear the it. No, Dr. Joe literally bad mouth tolerance and acceptance. Yes. Good.

Good thing. All right. So now we rejoined John speech right when he finally found gay conversion therapy. He went to this conference for, you know, ex-gays or whatever. And apparently the conference was filled with protesters and people explaining to him the exact same thing that all the professionals had been explaining to him about how that's not how any of this shit works. So he talks about having seen this speaker that was, you know, explaining exactly his story, but he was booed

and heckled off the stage by all of those anti gay conversion therapy bigots. Yeah, the anti bigotry bigots, a big problem. Yeah, exactly. And he talks about like, you know, the speaker was super sad. So he went up to him afterwards and he wanted to say something comforting, but he couldn't think anything. So he started crying and they started hugging and I'm like, these two men are going to fuck at the end of this story, right? John's going to fuck this dude, right?

Yeah. In the last movie you guys made me watch. There was this like the similar moment similar moment where it was these two men and there was raining in one chase after each other and they just stared each other. And it's all set up for this like, okay, this is where they fuck, but it has the exact same conclusion

where it's like, you don't have to be gay. And so we, in that moment, passionately we're not gay with each other. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. We platonically sucked each other off. And yeah, and then we rejoin Christine's story at a similar moment. Now, it's such a giveaway that they know these are similar moments, right? So John's moment was when he first found gay conversion therapy.

Christine's moment was when she became a Christian. Weird how those two things were the same. And why was she on the softball team? Why was she on the softball team? That was never explained. Why was she on their team? It was the only team within a hundred miles. And who did they play?

Right? They had anyway. Yeah. Yeah. We had another story from John here about when he was in college. He had roommates and like he learned about the sports ball thing and specifically, okay, I thought you might bring up this line. Yeah, I hear this correctly.

He says, uh, so yeah, one of my roommates was teaching me about football. So we went down to the football field and we tackled a goalpost together. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? That would you would become seriously injured. And then that that evolves. The story gets a little more interesting. He says, yeah, so then we went back to the dorm, you know, and that that roommate helped me out of my very greasy shirt and tucked me into bed. Had it was actually and it was great. It was great. He has, okay, first of all, why was his shirt greasy when they playing football in the gold post?

The grease on the back post. So, all right, right, the cold post was well greased. They have to be in a so that those field goals can go. We're not exaggerating, like literally greasy shirt. That's what he said. That's what he said at tender moment. And I was like, oh, that's nice. Like, okay. So, guys, he was dating his roommate.

Yeah, thank you. Was that not clear? Obviously. Obviously tackled some goalposts is just that's a euphemism for butt stuff. I'm sure it is. Because it's not a euphemism for football stuff. Hand stuff?

I don't know. It's something. Again again, this is, this is John running a great prank. Yeah. I think you're right. Yeah. Right. Right. No, it was that that's literally the story. He says, those are the words he uses that, you know, he, it wasn't that he wanted gain as he wanted to contact with men like when his roommate would help him out of his greasy clothes and tuck him into bed. And now Christine at this point, of course, also finds conversion therapy. She goes to a group called straight ahead. Get it?

Well, pun. God, she is so funny. So punny. I love her. And then we get some follow up from Dr. Joe. By the way, he uses the term Dr. Joe uses the term reparative therapy, right? Anything but conversion, I guess,

but he's not on board with migration yet. Yeah, as a psychologist, I could speak in the sleep-off differences between reparative migration, persuade, but we just simply don't have the time. Right. That's true. That's true. They're all in the same synonym section of this dictionary, but we just simply don't have the time. That's true. That's true.

They're all in the same synonym section of this dictionary, but it's fine. It's fine. Yeah. And also, like, so he's got, he's got the very difficult task of saying something nice about conversion therapy at this point. And he's like, you know, a lot of people have the wrong idea. They think that we, like, you know, they just hit people with a baseball bat and say, don't be gay. That's exactly what he says. And he's like, you know, we just hit people with a baseball bat and say, don't be gay. That's exactly what he says.

He's like, we don't do that. Done with nice thing to say. I guess we're welcome. Thanks. Thanks. Good point about your thing. Guys, it's a softball bat. They don't use a baseball bat.

They use a softball bat. Yeah, exactly. I will eventually they whittle you down to a with full ball bat and then you get to They don't use a baseball bat. They use a softball bat. Yeah, exactly. Eventually they whittle you down to a with full ball bat and then you get to go home. Of course, I believe this is where John introduces us to some kind of little mnemonic, right? Because he's like, you know, the first thing I had to learn to do was acknowledge what I was feeling and then like, A, acknowledge appears on the side. I'm like, oh, this will be great.

I'm sure. Yeah, what was the acronym was AIM? Yes. So he was like a... A knowledge, identify, move. Yeah, right, okay, so it was AIM. And it's like, yeah, so I definitely still like men somewhat, but I had these, these acronyms, it was pretty sweet.

A for acknowledge and then I do I for identify. I'd see a super cute guy, and I'm not exaggerating. This is describing how this would go. I'd see a super cute guy. I'd identify that I was just jealous, but not attracted to his very beautiful form. And then of course, because, you know, still I'm just, I'd move to M. You have to remember the M, which is move. I'd move into the message.

What the hell? And I was like, come on, there's, pay it, M could be message. Why move into the message, just make M, whatever. Yeah, it basically all boiled down to like, whenever he became aroused, he had to go do pushups. Yeah, right. Which like, I guess works.

But he had to do this like humble bracket of like, if you're sitting there wondering how I became so buff. And I'm like, no, I'm not. We were wondering that that was actually him trying to do stick, right? That was him trying to be funny because he's very much not buff. And I thought to myself, to myself that it's like, leave the stick to Christine, man. She's got, you know, she's so funny. She's not. So then Laura hates, though, here's yet another fucking show game that they pull here. They'll constantly talk about how, you know, modern day migration therapy is never, is nothing like the terrible electro shock therapy crap that they did, you know, 50 years ago, 60 years ago. And then they'll constantly say, we have a hundred

years of evidence that this works. Right? Well, yeah, but some of that is the shocky torture. You said you're not doing though, right? But they keep, they'll just move in between those two points just interchangeably as though they don't contradict each other at all. This is also where we meet A Dean Bird who agreed to be in this movie, but not to fill the whole screen up. Yeah, it's really interesting who gets to be full screen and who they put in a tiny box. Because he's not the only one they put in a tiny box.

Yeah, right. There's lots of like some experts get relegated to a tiny box. And it's not like it's because they're using the rest, it's not a picture in picture where they're using the rest of the screen to display information. It's really just like a tiny box set off to the side of the screen while the next person

gets to be full screen. It's bizarre and they don't switch, right? Like if you're in the tiny box, you're going to be in the tiny box for the rest of the film. Right, it's like they were, it's like, oh man, we filmed this guy with the tiny camera. We can't, if we make him go full screen, it's going to be pixelated. I think that's exactly what happened here. What is this choice? All right.

Yeah, we meet A. Dean Burton. He's going to introduce us to the spitzer study. Now I didn't know anything about this going into the story, but here's the deal on the spitzer study. Spitzer was a very well-respected psychologist. He's one of the people who was chiefly responsible for getting the DSM changed to where homosexuality wasn't listed as a mental disorder anymore, right? So he was seen as this very progressive psychologist, and he produced a study that showed that

conversion therapy could work. Now, it was a very bad study. People pointed out flaws with the study right away. They pointed out things that he did wrong, right away. And the study didn't take into account the possibility, the potentiality of harm that conversion therapy could do. It got kicked around for like seven or eight years. He was taken attest by every major psychological publication in the god damn universe for the study and then like nine years after the study, he apologized profusely for it,

even though he had like Parkinson's and had to type out his fucking apology through terrible god damn Parkinson's, he felt like and it was like months before he died, it was like one of his last acts was to apologize for bringing this thing into the fucking world. That's the study they're talking about. They will not acknowledge until the very end and even then just sort of like as an afterthought that he disavowed this study. They'll present it as though this was his life's work. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, sorry, I took all the wind out of that.

No humor left in the spits of study. I mean, that's the thing. It's like so much of this movie is just like hold straight, man carrying way, way, way too much about a bunch of faggots. Like I can't imagine devoting this much of your life to like focusing on men fucking each other. Just like men wanting to fuck each other,

men actually fucking each other. It's just like, doesn't this get tiring for you people? Clearly not. Anyway, all these men are dressed like it's still 1997, which I suppose for them, it still is. Yeah, right, if that, if that. But yeah, so he tells the tragic story of Spitzer who did his very, very good study and then none of them would let him play any psychiatric games or whatever, and they abused him and abused him and then eventually

he recanted, but only under extreme pressure, you know, with three months left to live. God, fuck these people. Imagine having three months to live and being like, now I will call to your pressure. Yeah, exactly. Right, right. Like, oh, no, I haven't bowed this point, but now with only three more months to go, I have to crack. Yeah, that's what you really have a hold over me. Yeah. Yeah. But so, but they go on and on about the spitzer study for a long

time. And look, like if you don't tell the last part of the story, it's actually fairly compelling. This guy was very accomplished and he was very respected and he said gay conversion therapy worked, you know, even even what he said is like it can't, it has been shown to be somewhat effective in like one out of eight people or whatever. And even that again, he, he disavowed and, and was torn to pieces. It was a bad fucking study. But Michelle hops back in to talk about like, you know, how everyone would have accepted the spitzer study if it wasn't for that damn cancel culture. Yeah, I love to admonish the ideological indoctrination programs from the comfort of my gay conversion camp. Yeah, right. Right. Yeah. So, and of course, this

is all to set up that point and God damn it to the bigot's love to drop this one out where it's like I thought gay people love tolerance, but they're sure not very tolerant of us. Right, this is where they're they're showing pictures from like the Stonewall riots. Yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah, it's like yeah, having people who have been granted a monopoly on violence by the state attack and jail gay people is exactly the same as a letter writing campaign. You know, if you think about it, Jesus fucking Christ.

Yeah. Strongly worded letters. We had to deal with very strongly worded letters. Just call the names. Just like these riots were showing you literally at the same time. That was disgusting that moment. Yep. Yeah.

And then they said they do eventually admit that Spitzer caved to all the pressure. He even says, I shit you not. He says just like Galileo. Okay. Okay. This is everybody. Everybody who's wrong uses this argument about it. It's all the time with Galileo. If it was just like Galileo, we would now have a bunch of new science after spitzer that confirmed that conversion therapy works. That's how that's how it would work if it was an analogy to Galileo being correct about something. Yep.

Well, they're going to pretend like we do here in a minute. And also, I want to point this out to because they keep pointing out they're like, oh, you know, and spitzer, by the way, when he apologized, there's, you know, he wasn't in the best of healthy was like 80 years old. The clearer implication is that he was no longer in his right mind. Like he had dementia or something. And they keep pointing it out. Oh, he was like in his 80s. It's like the study was nine years old, the clearer I implacation to study, well, it was no longer in his right mind, like, he had dementia or something. And they keep pointing it out, oh, he was like in his 80s, it's like the study was nine years old.

He was in his 70s when he did it. Right? So if him being old means what he said, didn't have any fucking weight, then why the fuck are you talking about his study in the first place? Yeah, they're bad people. Yeah, they are. They are. So yeah, they dismissed the dismissal

of spitzer study. And then they introduced a different study. This is from Stanton Jones, who we already met. He also refused us to occupy a whole screen. He's a little box. Yeah. The beginning of this is the best. He's like, people keep saying there's no valid scientific research to support conversion therapy. But that's wrong. It's just not good or rigorous. Yeah. It's a research to support conversion therapy.

I was like, wow, that is a rough start to a new section. It turns out it's a section about him and his fucking study. Yes. Yeah. The fucking razor spiders chalkboard their way into the long typed out results where we discover that hey, they were able to partially on gay 15% of their 77 subjects. And I quote, this is their fucking phrasing. There was quote, low evidence of harm. No more details, just that.

There was also 23% participants that developed a functional adaptation to heterosexuality. What the fuck did that mean? No, I actually like that. Because I like to think over my life, I've also developed several functional adaptations to heterosexuality. Several mechanisms that my body naturally does when encountering heterosexuality to defend

myself that I can thrive and prosper. You got a different shade beak now for days, like the Finches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can blend into my surrounding. To go on the notice. They don't even notice them. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Where'd you even go? Oh, it's nice.

I know you were standing right in front of some straight. Straight. Yeah, he found the street. So yeah. Yeah, so but standing next to me, he's going to do his own study and he also explains that you know he doesn't hate gay people. His interest is purely academic. It is a total coincidence that he teaches at a Christian college.

Shindwright's books about psychologists war against faith has nothing to do with it. He actually uses the rare rhetorical flourish of I don't hate gay people. None of my best friends are gay. Like, which I'm like, I haven't actually seen that one. It's not good there. It's the opposite. Okay. Like, I don't like gays to me are purely theoretical. They're merely a thought exercise.

It allows me to keep objectivity. Yeah, and so this is where they really started digging into that idea that the gay lobby is trying to shut down gay conversion therapy because if they didn't, it would be so successful that there'd be no more gay people and nobody would come to their parties, right? But the very existence of the gay lobby proves that not everyone would want to do it. Because they're trying to shut it down presumably because they do not want to, like they do not want to participate in it.

Yeah. And like it's, that's just frustrating. Just like, yeah, right, right. Yeah, exactly. Who would be against this? Like the next step of the question undermines it. Exactly, exactly. All right, so, and then we have to spend a minute shitting on the American Psychological

Association because obviously they came out against everything that this movie's in favor, so they have to pretend that that's just political persecution of some sort. And this is where they start talking about the APA task force. So the APA basically created task force to say, hey, look into conversion therapy, let's get some evidence of the kind of harm that it does so that we can make recommendations about it. So they have to shit all over this task force in order to make their point. I mean, I kind of agree with them. The task force sounded rigged.

Yeah, yeah, they put gay people on it. Fucking two of the seven people were themselves gay. I was like, I don't know. You got a point that sounds pretty rigged. Well, look, I so here's the fucking thing. Like, what are the odds that the people who are like, the real experts in the psychology of conversion therapy are the people who are opposed to it, right? Like, come on, like obviously that would be the case. But, you know, so they're basically they're saying like, wow, that's so weird, you know,

your whole panel of outreach to minority communities is entirely made of minorities. Right, right, right. A fucking core cityist, but yeah, but they say, well, the task force is just a bunch of gay activists, so we can ignore anything that they say. And they do. Yeah, and they do. Yeah, that's true. I guess they do manage to get away with it.

And then this shockingly unselph-aware documentary goes on a tirade about the dangers of confirmation bias. Yeah. And this guy explains confirmation bias with enormous hand gestures like it was complicated, but just a review. The last study they mentioned on their side was funded by Exodus, a homophobic religious group. And now they're talking about confirmation bias. Right. Well, they're, they're fucking group.

North, North stands for. I can't get over North. Yeah. I just, I can't say that. No, I'm angry. But it stands for therapy, the, the tea in the age are like for therapy on homosexuals. So obviously if like people are showing that that's not a viable thing, you're the one with the fucking confirmation bias here.

Jesus Christ. But and of course they have to like sort of acknowledge to acknowledge that all of them teach it Christian colleges, all of them have the same religion and the same denomination of said religion, etc. But so here's how they get around that. One of them says, well, it'd be very condescending and biased to dismiss us just because we're religious. I agree with him. Yeah, no, that would totally be like, you know, the fact that they're wrong would be a

great reason to dismiss him. And the fact that they're all of the same religion would be a great explanation for why they're all wrong in the same fucking direction. But yeah, if we just dismiss it because of that, that'd be awful. I mean, I think the fact that the NAACP doesn't allow client members in and shows a bias. Yep. Yeah. You know, we need some affirmative action in the NAACP doesn't allow client members in and shows a bias. Yep. Yeah. You know, we need some affirmative action in the NAACP.

Yeah. No, I'm saying sometimes a bias isn't necessary. Well, yeah, not all viewpoints are equal. Right. Like Laura, whatever her name was, the cycle log lady, she cuts in basically to say, and I'm only slightly paraphrasing what she's actually claiming here is that, you know, all of these liberals and gay folks are all about diversity and tell us diversity of ethics. Yeah. Yep. No, that's it. That's exactly it. It's a shame the police don't allow

murderers onto the force. That's a right. Well lack of diversity. Yeah, actually, actually, yeah, that's a we have a tricky one. Yeah, because they do wonder. One. All right. So, and then, okay, so you're probably having a little trouble understanding their point. So it's probably a great time to dig into some Dubie brothers, lyrics to help them emphasize it. No, I'm not making that up.

That really happens. Michelle comes back on, and he's like, so the Dubie brothers Michael McDonald and the newbie brothers were at the top of the charts in whatever the fuck year. And what a fool believes was the song and his argument is based on the lyrics of what a fool believes by the Dubie brothers. Guys, this is where they won me over. This is where I really got on board with them. A great philosopher once said, whoa, whoa, whoa, listen to music. You know what I'm talking about.

Oh, yeah. Okay, this is one of the weirdest fucking things he tries to do. He's talking about the claim that conversion therapy leads to suicide. And he says like, hey, you know, all the studies that show that are just prospective studies, they haven't like done it to a bunch of kids and seen how many of them killed themselves. Fuck. No, they haven't, dude. Are you suggesting that they should? So yes, my thing leads to a bunch of suicide, but no, I don't want your number. No, I don't want to give you mine.

Does this make sense? This is a lyrics or something. This is helpful. Again, I'm compelled, yes. Yeah. So, okay. So, it's time to chalkboard scratch our way into another typed study detail thing. This is the Shidlow and Shrouder study.

Now, this is a good guy study that actually showed the harm of gay conversion therapy. So they're going to spend the next few minutes shitting all over that. Well, I'm actually genuinely interested in it because like they're playing kind of a tightrope walking game here where and this is another one of those things. I'm like, I don't know if I've actually heard this argument from these kind of people, but they say, oh, no, no, we're doing migration therapy. Conversion therapy, we agree is bad. We agree that a lot of the stuff that they did

back then was really bad. What we're doing is different. And I'd be interested to hear like, what exactly are these quote no longer relevant practices that they think are bad? Like presumably their own work is built upon this earlier work. Like these people have been doing this shit for 20, 30 years. Like it's all the same people. that they think are bad. Presumably their own work is built upon this earlier work. These people have been doing this shit for 20, 30 years. It's all the same people. It's

not a new generation. All these people are very old. If the earlier work is flawed and dangerous, rather than just sweatily hand waving it away as having happened a long, long time ago, explain the differences about what you used to do was bad, but what you do now is good. And that's what we never get in this movie. We never get what it is that they're doing now and how is that different from these things that they're saying aren't done anymore? Like they're just saying, oh, all the conversion therapy you heard about it before is bad,

but what we do is good. Right. But we're not going to tell you what the difference is. Right. Right. Because the point is is that they've just slapped a new label on the, on the exactly, there isn't the same thing. Yeah.

And, and, and, right. And so they, they can't actually say that. They can, but they can say that, well, we don't, and that was, that was Philip Morris that did that. Where are all Tyra or something now, you know, yeah. Right. It might sound confusing. So this, this study that the APA uses to discredit the conversion

therapy or the migration therapy or whatever the fuck is called, you have to understand the rule of three thirds, there's three of them. And that's that that that would add up to a hundred percent. So and I'm not making this up. He says, Michelle, I think says this, in psychology, it's always one third success, one third partial success, one third no improvement. That's how all psychology studies go. Is that for the whole, is that, what even could that one be true? I can, no.

Okay. So obviously not. No, not, but also literally contradicted by their studies from before, they gave us a bunch of numbers that weren't in the rule. Not even three. Remotally close to that. Yeah.

Also, as part of three thirds, there's also five percent more. Well, yeah, exactly. And that's the weirdest fucking thing about it because the only reason he brings this up is to say that, hey, look, even when a therapy is successful or effective, there is a small percentage of people that feel that they were harmed by it, right? Like basically that's the point. He's trying to make no matter what type of therapy you're talking about, no matter how

effective it is. And most people, there will be some people that will come back and say they were harmed by it. And that's where the 78% of people who were harmed in the Shidlow and Shrouder study came from. Yeah, it's the rule of 21, 20. 78% of those are equivalents. Yes, I'm not good at math, so I just accept all of this at face value.

As a side, that's very interesting. I guess that makes sense. Yeah, yeah. But again, it's worth noting, it's worth underscoring that the best that they could actually even hope for here was to argue that the studies only showed that their therapy could be harmful not that it is. And then Michelle sums up the summary that he just summed up by saying that if we reject their studies, then we also have to reject the Shidlow and Shroeder

study, right? So if we reject one is a scientific study that was published in a journal, and so was the other. So if you throw out one, you have to throw out all of them, and then nobody has any evidence. I guess we tie. Yeah. Yeah. Knowledge is a zero-sum game. All right. And then okay, so this is where Nicholas Cummings chimes in. Now he is a, again, he was a guy who was a very accomplished psychologist, but decided he'd rather be a bigot and gets his kicks on that these days. And he's pointing out like how there's a systematic bias against, like gay conversion therapy that the American psychological

association won't even publish articles about it anymore. I mean, for what it's worth, the APA also doesn't review my books or publish my art. Yeah, I thought about the same thing. I actually wrote the same thing in my name. And they don't do anything that I said. To be fair. And I want to take this moment to clear up something here in the documentary. He says at one point, he goes, it's goes, it's like the gay lobby has sort of captured the APA. And

I just want to say, we didn't sort of capture the APA. We did capture the APA. And they're going to continue to hang over a pit of snakes and alligators deep inside our volcano layer until all of our demands are met. If you, if you puny Americans ever want to see your precious APA again, send 20 bit going to follow your stress. No cops. All right. Well, I think we all need to take a moment to shed a quick tear for Nicholas Cummings unreviewed books.

So we're going to take one last break. But first, let me give Ack three the hard sell here. Can John make it to the end of this video without fucking a dude? Just how convincing do they think, but we don't even use electroshock therapy? Really is. Will they take this movie down if I tell him that it made me gay? Find out the answers to these questions and more. When we return for the Decahaptop partite conclusion of censored. and more. When we return for the Decahaptopartite conclusion of censored. It means 17 17th. That's the rule. Yeah, the rule is.

Hey, he. Hey, no, yeah. I feel like I sat in a puddle, but my pants are bone dry. So, okay, good talk. I'll see you later. The woo. It just, okay, will you feel this? Am I crazy? Just feel? Nope. Nope. I am not going to feel your ass area on your pants for wetness. Come on, just quick pat. Quick pat. Stop. Stop. Backing towards me. Just really quick. Just really.

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God damn it. It doesn't even make sense. It's like paper mache. Okay. Ow! Ow! Hmm. Hmm. Ow! Hmm. I'd have to try a higher setting. Oh fuck.

No, hey, hey, no, no, what are you doing? And why is Heath hooked up to all of those sensors? Oh, oh, well, so I'm trying to figure out how high a voltage I need to electrify these shot glasses with before Heath will stop drinking the whiskey out of them. Oh my god, it hurts so much. Really? Heath? Because anything above that is potentially fatal.

It says on the box. Oh, okay, Noah. Why are you shocking Heath with liquor? Oh, it's Irish conversion therapy. What? Yeah, no, I'm going to shock the Irish out of him. That's horrible. Why would you do that?

Well, so Eli has this like hoi-di-di-toi thing that he doesn't. It kind of makes one of Irish people and it's starting to get under heat's skin. So he decided he doesn't want to be Irish anymore. Because he thinks it'll make Eli stop picking on him. Well, and so he can apply for a job in old timey Boston. Hey, are we out of that tingly, zappy's gotch? No, trying to change who he is isn't the right solution. Wouldn't it just be easier to explain to Eli how those jokes make Heath feel and ask him to be more sensitive?

No, that would just make him do it more. We are out of it? Okay, yeah, so I guess I can see that, but regardless, you can't torture the Irish out of somebody. He's still going to be just as Irish when you were done. Well, forgive me for not just settling for your assumptions. That's why I'm doing the experiment. Now, if you'd like to stick around, we can find out for sure whether the therapy works. How do you test someone's Irishness?

All right, so Heath, I'm going to list a bunch of ethnicities and you tell me which ones you think have it too easy these days. Okay. You know, I've got to be elsewhere right now. So we're out of that scotch. Yeah, no, we're out of that. And we're back for still more of this shit. When we last left off off the show was explaining

how in the 1980s the APA became a bunch of gay commies. Yeah, they started a military campaign actually. I don't know if you've heard of jamming. Yes, it's a war thing. You play stuff on the other side's radio frequency and they can't, the good guys can't use the radio anymore. It's the same thing, the same thing, the gay libby just screams gay stuff on the internet and everybody else gets jammed.

You can't use the internet. We be jammed. Yeah, exactly. That's the strategy. So this is so amazing. He's like, you know, the gay lobby has come up with a new tactic and then he explains the tactic and I'm like, wait, did you just explain almost everyone in the world disagreeing with you? Is that the tactic and I'm like, wait, did you just explain almost everyone in the world disagreeing with you?

Is that the tactic? Because that sounds like the tactic that you just described. It's like, we'll say something on our side and then a thousand people will say something on the other side. Science is really jamming with new data. Fucked up. I mean, here's the last movie you all made me watch, at least like had a plot. Like it was the story of this gay country singer who didn't want to be gay anymore and you just

followed his life and you know all of his terrible choices. This is just like a bunch of whiny nerds. Yeah. And claiming that nobody pays attention to them. And they're all having meltdowns about nobody buys their book. Like I'm just like after point, I'm just like watching this man. I'm just like, this is just them complaining that nobody respects them. Yes. And like complaining that nobody respects you is not a great way to earn respect. Yeah, exactly. The rest of the rest of this movie could just be called I drive a Dodge Stratus to find a book.

You don't talk to me that way. So yeah, but this is where we get to the point and they're retelling, I guess, where they decide to make their own APA with blackjack and hookers and they're going to call it North. I cannot believe they went with the name, but yes, after having introduced North like three fucking times in this movie, they introduced North. And guess what, the North lady, she's a little box person. Yep, that's right. She's not a big box person. She's a little box person.

She's filmed on John's tiny little microphone. Yeah, companion. Yeah. Yeah, and what kills me too is like so during this section when they're talking about why they formed NARTH, they formed NARTH in like 1992, 1993, something like that. And they're like, like we had to do this because of how powerful the gay lobby was. They controlled the media, they controlled politics, they controlled the culture. And it's like, the only way this makes sense is if you ignore that at this exact moment that you're forming North, that Bill Clinton is in the White House signing the defensive marriage act and Don't Ask Don't Tell.

Yeah. Like, what do you, what world are you talking about? Where the 90s was this gay utopia where gay is wearing control of everything? Like, yeah, you were losing every battle. The AIDS was still a rampant plague that was killing and that the government was just ignoring because they thought it was funny. Like, what are you talking about? Right. Right. Right. Exactly.

That's insanity. We hadn't even advanced to a culture to the point yet where we were making fun of gay people in our television and our movies at that point, 92. Right. Yeah. So, okay, so Michelle plays a bit of violin for the hard work and big hits over there at North.

He explains that the mainstream media is, quote, an extension of the liberal democratic party, end quote. And by the way, the democratic party is an extension of the Gala B as well. So obviously, transit of property, the mainstream media is just all the way gay. It's just crazy because like, they're just still whining. They're whining that like, like nobody like oh, we were so powerless in 1992 And we're even more powerless now. It's like the fuck you Trump was just in the White House Yeah, like Mitch McConnell is a person that exists and it's probably the most powerful person on the planet

Like what are you talking about that like yeah, no, we're just powerless little grit like go fuck yourselves What are you? Well, I mean they're Canadian and Canadians are a powerless group. I guess go fuck yourselves. What are you, I, well, I mean, they're Canadian and Canadians are our powerless group. Guess you're right. I guess they're stat, but, you know, yeah. If you're like, oh, we can't hold jobs. Blah blah blah blah.

Yeah. Yeah. Right. More, more meltdown about how they can have a job or sell a book. They also say that the gay LaBi has really deep pockets. And I was like, really, really churches, conservative groups, the pro brothers, you don't have any deep pockets to work with on your team.

Right. That's in fucking sanity. Yeah. Exactly. Your pockets are religion. Jesus, they're like, you know, if you're openly bigoted towards LGBTQ people, you'll lose your job. And I'm just like, well, unless you're fucking working for Fox News or anything religious is my God they're making the argument that they're the ones losing their fucking jobs over shit it's still legal in most of this country to fire someone for being gay. I mean this movie alone has employed 30 to 40 people. Yeah exactly. Now granted, they couldn't afford a big camera for everyone. But they managed to get a bunch of people on the payroll for this.

Yeah, well, and of course, this is the point in the construction of this film where one of the people involved said, hey, you know, I know we've spent a lot of time talking about how the APA is just political and it's against us and everything. But every other psychological association on Earth also denounced us, so we should probably point that out and have some defense for that. But apparently that's all they're all just following the APA's coattails or they've been suckered or bullied by the Galaby. If you listen or at home or listen to this, it feels like we're just talking about the same thing

over and over. It's because they are. This is like the 30th straight minute where they're just whining. And I don't even know who this is for. Like I get that there is probably a group of people out there who are like very Christian and gay and don't want to be gaining more into our seeking out.

Like, all right, how can I like validate that what I want to go through with is real? And so like the stuff at the beginning about some of the studies and all like all of that stuff could like, I can understand there's an audience for that. I don't know what this whiny bullshit. I don't know who like, who's what? Who cares about the whiny bullshit stuff? Like who is this for?

Who are you making this movie for? Us at this point, right? Like clearly, it's just like they were like, well, they need to, they're going to need to fill out a full episode. They're going to need something to make fun of here. Okay, but they, they introduced a new idea here. Diet programs are just like being gay, or did they already say that literally? No, no, it's the same thing. I think it's a whole fuck of Jesus Christ. Yeah, but he goes back to that. He's real proud of that analogy. So he

goes back to that whole thing about like, we're just like maligned diet fats. Yeah. to that whole thing about like we're just like maligned diet fats. Yeah. In fairness, conversion therapy is the tapeworm diet of psychology. Yeah. There's something. Yeah. Now, I think that's what they were going for though. There's also this weird bit where they complain about the way that the media will report on

it if they find out that you do gay conversion therapy, like sort of like a how dare you out the people who do this job that we're saying there's nothing wrong with. That we've made an entire movie about. Right, like we're reporting on ourselves that we do this work. My name is at the bottom of the screen. We wanna get the word out there that we do. Yeah.

But you're just whining that people don't like you. Yep, Some more. How dare the media point out when they find a dangerous bigot in our midst? Can you imagine if the media wouldn't tell us the name of their, just like, well, we found a local therapist that is doing dangerous bigotid things, but we're not saying who. They complain that SNL made fun of them. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Everybody's picking on us. they complain that SNL made fun of them. Oh, that's right.

Yeah, everybody's picking on us. You've been saying like, that's a big deal, man. If that's a hit, I've made fun of us. And then he's like, we're also on criminal minds and SVU. Oh, okay. Yeah. I got where it's going.

Like, it's just more of the humiliation fetish. Where it's like John at the beginning where he was just like talking about being naked and shitting the front of all this classmate. Like this is just like that. They're like, these people made fun of us and then all these people went on television and made fun of us.

And then these people wrote an entire episode of TV all about how bad, it's like, why are you telling us this? And then I had to take my underwear off. Well, they made fun of me and I took a shit. Yeah, it is. Yeah, they're so, so this weird, I don't know what point he's trying to make or did he think he's trying to make?

And he's like, now you'll hear all of these stories. The media will put out all these stories about kids that were tortured by conversion therapy, and people who survived this and said, it's really bad. But look at the timing of those stories. Weird how they always put those stories out right when there's about to be a vote on some gay rights thing. Huh? So yes, weird that they would publish their stories when they would have the most impact.

How does he think newspapers work? You report the news alphabetically, damn it. Like does he think like it's like, all right, this guy came in and said he was tortured. However, the Berlin wall fell today. So we, so we can't report on the Berlin wall because the guy who said he was tortured for has to come first because he walked into the office. Right, yeah. What do you think a newspaper is? Like, how do you think they make these decisions?

They're not infinite pages. That's literally the job, yeah. You print stories based on when it's most relevant and will be most useful to your readers. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Oh, Jesus. But the argument here is essentially is like, you know, the newspaper never even gives the torture verse perspective. Yeah, that's right. We know like when there's this big serial killer, we never hear his side of the story. You're right. It's so fucking weird. Confirmation bias. No, no, it's not.

The other's one guy who's like, yeah, and whenever I do media interviews about this kind of stuff, the interviewers are always a bunch of gay mo's. Like how could they be objective about this? I'm making fun of them. I'm talking about how they're terrible. Why are you agreeing to do those interviews? Nobody is making you do an interview with the advocate. Right.

Why are you agreeing to be interviewed by these people if you hate it so much? You don't have to go to the human rights campaigns newsletter and accept their invitation to be interviewed. Like, what are you doing if you hate it? Right, and again, like, look, if the end result is they evenly used my own words in print. I don't give a fuck who did the interview. I don't give a fuck what their bias was going in.

If all they did was quote your ass, they were perfectly in their right to do so. But like, there's a reason why Trump never gave interviews to MSNBC. Right, he did not want to, because they would not be nice to him. Yeah, nobody, like this, the only, every interview I do, the person is gay.

Well, then don't, if you, that bothers you, don't get interviewed by him. You are in control of that. Also, he's in the middle of being interviewed when he says that. As he tell him, did he try to tell me this movie was made by gay people because I don't think that it was. She's, okay, and then Michelle comes out,

and this is so fucking weird. He reveals our ultimate goal. He's like, the goal is to make conversion therapy illegal. And he says it's a barely veiled. I'm like, it's not veiled at all. That is our plan. Yeah. That's what the law is called. Yeah. Exactly right at the top of the page. To make this shit illegal act of 2020. Yeah. That's it. No, we're not. And sorry, if it's failed at all, we're doing a bad job. Yeah.

And he actually says, all right, well, let's read the law. It's very telling. And the law says, you know, we're banning conversion therapy because it's cruel and unscientific. And, you know, technically, if I lay some Geneva conventions, we're pretty sure. So we're banning it. And he's like, okay, that's not bad for my thing. Let's just do it. We're going to do the all one at a time word by word. So cruel. What is the word cruel mean by that? Maybe it won't sound as bad for you that way. Making me watch this movie was cruel, devoid of any scientific basis harmful to my mental

health and infringement on my fundamental human rights. Wow. So we're illegal in Canada. If you're in Canada, stop listening to this. It's illegal. We're in Montreal. We're in Montreal. Yes, this is a Montreal law. So now, of course, the arguments here, the discussion here is shifted now to the laws against conversion therapy or proposed laws against conversion therapy.

So they have to start discrediting this. And that's really hard when they're like, you know, yeah, all over the world independent legal minds and legislative groups are coming to the same conclusion, which is that the thing we're advocating for should be illegal to do, right? So they have what are they're talking heads come out and just go like, there's a lot of fraud though when they've had none has ever been caught, but like there's there you know, they're talking about and just go like, there's a lot of fraud though when they've had none has ever been caught, but like, there's there you know, there are fuck. Your friend, you're that's you, you guys are right.

Yeah, 20 minutes left, it's time for the UR segment. That's really. And they're like, this is all like, it's just, it's just, it's also amateur. So doing like, go much like no true scotsman stuff of like, yep, they say electrostatic therapy, but true migration therapy doesn't use electrostatic therapy. And they're saying it harsh,

well, if you go home by it, then it wasn't what we're doing. And like, it's like, yeah, anything that, and again, go back 30 minutes in the episode, and you'll talk about like the exact same things they're saying they aren't doing, they were doing, because it doesn't really matter what they argue. They're just saying whatever they can say to get through the next five minutes of this fucking movie.

Absolutely, yeah. No, at one point he's telling us basically, yes, there are people that will say they were tortured matter what they argue they're just saying whatever they can say to get through the next five minutes of this fucking movie. Absolutely. Yeah. No, at one point he's telling us basically, yes, there are people that will say they were tortured in conversion therapy, but they'll never be able to tell you all the details. So like, who did it? And at what time of day was it done? And what color shirt was he wearing? You know, I don't really believe that I was tortured stuff.

When 78% of the people in the respondent say they were, anyway, this might as well be part of a Mike Lindell documentary like with a spreadsheet about them not being able to name these specific things. Flying data across to Germany and back. Right. All right. So then Michelle demonstrates that he doesn't know the difference between censorship and just everyone else disagreeing with him some more by pointing out that his studies are being censored because nobody will print

them. Like no, like censored would be them pulling them off the shelves when you print them. Yeah. Yeah. Just not being interested in what you have to say. Again, me and Patrick, we submit so much shit to the APA for publication. They never publish any of it. It's not because we're being censored. Right.

I mean, what this goes down to is it back to like, psychologue, like words are just whatever you want them to be. Like he's just decided that, you know, and it's not just him. It's everyone in our culture these days. It's just like, you pick a word and you just decide on a new meaning for it. And that's the new meaning for it. And that's what I get to just yell about. And it's like, because nothing matters and nobody checks anything. And it's just, yeah, if I call it censorship, oh, enough, that will become what censorship means. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, because even

Amazon sensors, then by not publishing their books or selling their books, honestly, fuck Amazon though. Well, yeah, sure, fuck Amazon. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm looked at us and went, I don't want to be associated with those motherfucker. All right. And then, okay. So we're going to circle back now to one of the sort of basic arguments that have been making throughout this, which is again, the idea that sexual orientation can change. Therefore, we can change it. Right? Like, you know, how snow is a real thing. And that proves that I can make it. Right. Right. It's like that. And the study that they're going to show us here, this is some, this is the like worst,

I think bait and switch shit that they do the entire time because they do this study where they're like, we followed a bunch of people over a long period of time that identified one way sexually and saw how they identified later, you know, like, so come back seven years later and checked. And what they found was that a lot of people who identified as bisexual changed their identification either to homosexual or heterosexual over a seven year period, not even a majority, just a lot. Based on that, they're saying, see, we can change people's sexuality. It happens all the time.

I mean, my sexual orientation changed four times since we started recording. Where are you now? I'm now double super gay. Oh, wow. It's like regular gay, but I can fly. No, yeah. I want to be double super gay. I need to go to conversion theorem. I'm just hoping it doesn't change again while I'm mid-air.

It could be dangerous. It could be dangerous. It could be dangerous. Well, that's being gay is dangerous. That's that this movie's been trying to tell you. Oh, and this is also where North realizes that their name sounds like somebody enthusiastically vomiting up mushrooms or something. So they change it to something a little more. What is they say modern, a little more modern?

They say modern. They think they're named to the Alliance for therapeutic choice and scientific integrity now. So, aft-cazzy, which is modern. Aft-cazzy. Just flows right off the tongue. So, but here's the thing. Okay, anytime you're in an organization that changes its name so that it's less clear what you do

You're a bad guy Right like like come on there. They're a fucking group was called the you know Whatever national association of recovery and therapy for homosexuals And now it's called the society for fucking therapeutic choice and scientific integrity fuck you therapeutic choice and scientific integrity. Fuck you. Fuckin' fuck you. Once again, it's like, you know, they've backed up the goal post a little

and they're like, oh, we really can hope to do now is get our foot in the door. And so that's what we're gonna call our group. Jesus Christ. Gather, they're bad people, Noah. Yeah. Oh, so, okay. So they're not just bad people.

They're also bad at movie making. You know, like when you go to a like a conference or whatever, you get a bad speaker, they'll just like put up sentences on their PowerPoint slides and then read them to you. We're watching a movie of someone doing that. Yeah. So we get yet another study this time by Centero Whitehead and by a Starros that proves how right this movie was.

Again, now I couldn't read the name of the journal that it was published in, but I could see that it said Catholic medical something up in the corner of the journal that this study came from. It's the Catholic Medical Association. Okay. It was the, they're complaining that they can't get funded

by anybody, you know, real, only religious groups will fund them. Yep. And then they're like, okay, but we finally got funded by a non-religious publisher called the Catholic Church of the Beach. Yes. This is the linemaker quarterly, and yeah, that's literally the official journal of the Catholic medical association. Wow. That's their secular backer. Yep. Exactly. To be fair, though, I think most Protestants don't consider Catholics Christian.

Oh, okay. All right. No, they're not, they're not, they're like, oh, these secularists. Yeah, no, we didn't get, we didn't get religious funding. We got irreligious funding. Yeah, exactly. We were funded by the Vatican.

They're not a religious organization. Okay. But then they actually got told religious funding. Yeah, exactly. We're funded by the Vatican. They're not a religious organization. Okay, but then they actually got told even by the Catholic Medical Association for being too homophobic for the Catholic Medical Association. Yes. Oh my god. Edit your movie. Just don't have this part. Okay, you don't have to post every L. You don't have to do it. So and then now it's this fucking movie is just degenerated to Michelle bitching about an article he saw in his local newspaper, right? Again, it's all whining. It's called this entire movie is just people whining.

Oh, he's like, also in the Montreal newspaper, it said we were a bunch of assholes. Okay, man. And again, here in this whole fucking movie, they're doing everything in their power to avoid mentioning minors at all costs. Because like that is the entire ballgame. Like, no one cares if John and Christine want to go join some wacky religion or and set rules for themselves. Who fucking cares? We let adults do all that kind of stuff all the time like we said before.

But forcing unwilling minors into harmful conversion therapy stuff, I mean, that's a bridge too far for like normal people to start purking their ears up and be like, what's going on? And so like, look, I am a big idiot who does magic tricks for a living. So, you know, grain of salt. But to my knowledge, no one cares if adults are volunteering

to go get married to women they're not actually attracted to. No one gives a shit. But what people are trying to ban are the camps that these people are setting up for kids, where parents are driving them out there and doing that stuff. But for some reason, the segmentary doesn't want to mention the kids. They're not really clear why. Well, and I want to be clear on, because I couldn't agree more, but there's one important

distinction that I think that we need to make. Because the other thing that they're trying to do is to sneak this into psychiatric treatment so that there's at least some possibility that some gay person is going to walk into an actual, like, what they think is an actual legitimate therapist's office and be offered gay conversion therapy by somebody who already has, you know, the authority that goes with that title, right? Those are the two things that we're working against here because again, yeah, if you want to go to Baptist anti-Ternia straight camp or whatever, nobody gives a fuck.

Absolutely zero people care if a bunch of adults want to go to Baptist D. Gay and camp. Yeah, there's also a weird moment here where Michelle like cuts us off from current events. So yeah, he's like very probably like in four years. He's just as far as we go. No father. I don't know. Documentary is going very badly timeout. We need to reevaluate the off, few things. Yeah, there's 10 minutes left in the thing and he's like, but this is the last thing that will happen. And I'm like, wow, that's a weird announcement.

It's a week. I appreciate you letting me know. I'm gonna stick with you. But so we cut back over to John with his tiny little microphone and he's ramping up for his uplifting finale about how great it was to have the the gay tortured out of them. You know, he's even good at baseball now because he's not, he's not gay. Tackle the bunch of pictures, man.

So I'm really going to be fun. I mean, yeah, we're making fun of him, but like, it's the whole gag, isn't it? Like, you're taking people who you've taught your community to marginalize, and then after you've beaten them down, you give them support for the very first time in their lives. Like, of course, they're gonna be the happiest they've ever been. Like, of course, that's how it works.

Yeah, it's like the whole secret behind like, Mormon missionaries. Like, you don't send them out there to actually convert anyone. You send them out there to actually convert anyone. You send them out there so people will be mean to them for trying to convert them and they'll realize, oh, the only people who are nice to me are my fellow Mormons at home. And then you go home and you're a good Mormon for the rest of your life because you were just taught the rest of the world is mean to you.

Like that's the whole trick of it. That's the whole get bogging. Yep. Yeah. And so what we're seeing here now is John and Christine Stockholm syndrome. Exactly. Them telling us about how much they love their gay conversion therapy and big brother is looking out for all of us.

So okay. So then Michelle comes back and he's like, you know, and we already teased this, of course, at the beginning. And he's like, now that we have heard all of this evidence, there are a few closing thoughts I would like to add. 17 of them. Rule of 17, 17th. Here you go.

I'm going to read them all now. I'm off. That is, you know what, TLDR, what Patrick just said is what we use to. Yeah. Yeah, there's no way I'm going through all 70. So many of them are just the same thing as the last one, but for a different. It's, yeah, it's just whining again. It's just, that's, let's remind you how much I have to whine about.

Yeah, right. Well, and then you finally get to the, because they put them on screen and they're all like verbosely worded because of fucking course they are and you're just like, oh my god, he's not going to read all of these. Is he any does? And just as he gets to the end of it, you're like, oh, finally, he says, and from those 17 observations, we get five recommend these. Fuck out of here. Thank you. Like, what are you doing? God damn it. You don't have to live your life this way.

Let me convert you to not being a big whiny nerd. He might as well read the bibliography to the documentary now. Word for it, including Ibit and Opset. Like fuck you. Finish your movie. Oh my God, it goes out of her cell. All right. And then John shows up one last time to tell us that eventually he got married to a woman. These women fascinate me like, what is their deal? No, kiddin. Like the mindset that leads these women to me because he's like, and we started dating and I told her I was gay and she was like, very okay with it. And then we got our dating became more serious and then we got married and I'm like, what

is the mindset of that woman who hears that? And it's like, that's a confident lady. Or it's somebody who just really doesn't like sex and is like, oh good, you know, we'll probably have to fuck on the honeymoon. Maybe a couple of times for some kids along the way and then I can be done with this shit. Or it's Christine. She's like, all right, I'll make you look good

at the church social, you make me look good and then we'll fuck when we want to fuck. So anyway, that's probably the end of the movie, right? Oh my fucking God, it's not. No, Michelle has to come on and show for Doc Joe's learned to de-gay people on Klein class. Yeah. And then this is actually one of my favorite parts. He's like, we actually have another study that says I'm right. He's just not ready yet.

I got 11th hour. We're trying to sneak in more study. The data, it's the data is too good. In fact, I know, I'm scared to show it to you. It's that good. He's talking about a study they're still doing and tell us what evidence they're going to find with it. I'm like, dude, you, you know, you just fucked it all up though, right? I was slightly confused because he started, like, we will find this. And I'm like, are you talking, are you using futurism? Like have you already found these things?

You're right. Yeah. Well, are you, is this the first time you're using this tense correctly? Also, at this point, because the whole time, he's always been on this, like, he's on a peer looking at Montreal with the background or something. And at this point, like cars start driving by and drowning out his speech, as though the traffic figured out what he was doing and people were just revving their engines near it. When he goes on this long tirade about how he'll never get the Canadian

medal of freedom or whatever the hell honor it is. I mean, honestly, I'm upset that I'll also never get the order of Canada. So like, I'm with him on that. I'm like, but I'm also upset that I don't get one of those. Yeah, the fucking APA won't publish our books. The fucking cannon. I never did. It was an award. I didn't expect to have this

much in common with gay conversion therapists. Yeah. You should present the magical order of Canada. Yeah, exactly right. Yeah. Yeah. All right. And then we get basically argues that Canada is kind of like if you think about it, like a totalitarian gay state, like a gay totalitarian state. Oh, yeah. And then he closes it with like, you know what? You can't even say what I'm saying here in Canada where I am. It's impossible. What I this right now that you're watching is impossible by literally.

He says bye is by. He didn't know how to end the movie. So he literally told us goodbye. I thought it was polite and then not enough movies do that really. Yeah. Yeah. He might as well just dive off the pier. Oh, if he if the camera panned out and it was him, he was a mermaid the whole time.

That would have been wild. Twisting. I didn't see. I didn't see that coming. And then we get not credits. We don't we get instead a note that says that literally nobody who worked on that movie wanted their goddamn name associated with it. That's why the blurs happened.

Only a couple of them were smart enough to ask for the beginning with a lie. Yeah. Did you see what that was called though? Yes, it said Phantom Generic at the top. That's my superhero name. I've never saved anyone, but I have accidentally killed four people. Well, you just never know when you're going to be super gay enough to fly. That's the thing. That's the thing. My social and social for change on a women. I'll lose all my powers. I'll stop being phantom generic. All right. So you've kind of already answered this one, but I wrote it in some going to ask you anyway. And I kind of have to because I know that the people who made this are probably going to listen along Patrick, are you still gay?

No. Well, wait, just flip back. Yes. Oh, yeah. I haven't been for several minutes, but I just want to say, well, it's migration. It, yeah. All right. I haven't been for several minutes, but it's just Well, it's migration. It comes back. So and he's are you still straight? I have 17 things to say. If you'll indulge me, go on. Conclusions. I will not. Patrick, is there anything you want to plug while we've got you here? Yeah. So like you said at the top, I am a producer and founder of a magic show here in New York City.

If you're in the area, it's called Scam New York, the Society of Condorers and Magicians. We do. I know. We meet every Sunday at our secret underground layer beneath Times Square. Nice. You know, solve our mysteries and work our magic. If you would like to join the Society of Condor's Magicians and attend one of our secret underground magic shows, you can find more at magicscam.com. You can also go to please don't visit this website.com.

Nice. Both of us. Oh, that's what we're going to have. Abbey Hoffman book. Exactly. All right. And of course, those will be linked on the show notes as well. Well, Patrick, thank you so much for hanging out with us. This was a rough fucking watch, but it was a real delight to have you, log board. No, no, I'm, I'm excited to be here. So thank you all so much for having me. All right. And while that does a prior review of sensor, that's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need a lawyer back. So he'll tell us what's on

deck. The conjuring the devil made me do it. It just released in theaters and on HBO max. Very excited. Oh, what a shame. I will not be here for that one. I will sure regret missing it. So with that to look forward to, we're gonna bring episode three, one merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to Patrick for helping us out today. And even huge thanks to all the Patreon donors to help make the show go. If you'd like to cut yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com. So I got God Off on their My Early Access to an Adfree version of my Rear Episode. You can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review and telling all your friends about the show.

And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our siblings shows and scaling ideas sent to you to D&D-Minus and the Skeptocrite available wherever podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematics, suggestions, you can email God Off from movies at gmail.com, legal services for this podcast provided by the law, this is the Pee Entertourist. Tim Robertson takes care of our social media, our theme song was written for one by Ryan Slotny, who we've watched our apps on Mars, all other music was written for one by Ryan Slotney with a load draft on Mars, although the music was written for one by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission.

Thanks again for giving us a check your life this week for Heathen, right? Neelya Bosnick, I'm Noel Lucius, promised to work harder and on the track next week until then. We'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Three thirds of the cast went on to be unemployed forever. Michelle got lost in a time-bore text, confusing the past with the future forever. Eventually, he did get around to hating on Galos see-through out though. It's important to set expectations to reasonable levels. Yep. It's all the more important for Heathen and I.

Take from that what you will. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2021 all rights reserved.