God Awful Movies - 327: The Favorite

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

This week, Michael Marshall joins us for an atheist review of The Favorite, the story of a guy writing a script immediately after getting a traumatic brain injury and nobody having the heart to tell him to maybe give it two months and try again. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Check out more from Marsh on Be Reasonable and Skeptics with a K

Un chapuzón, un alabito, tu serie favorita y en medio de tu siesta. ¡Ey! ¿Has visto esta? No sabes la de planazos que hay este verano en Guésville Parkesur, con ciertas obsesiones con DJs, clases de yoga, talleres con marcas y actividades con niños, te apuntas. Un sueño de verano, bailguésville Parkesur. Yeah, his mom says you reek and you need a shower and I thought that's the first line of this film I've reeked believe. Like, I genuinely think that's true.

That he can pull off, that bent the shower. Looks like he needs a shower is very accurate about this actor all the time. Yeah, he's got that on one of his headshots. That's one of the characters he could be. Unshoured guy number two. Yeah, right. Let's not get greedy here. Moobie! Moobie! Moobie! Moobie! Moobie! Moobie!

Moobie! Moobie! Moobie! Moobie! Moobie! Welcome back to the GameCast for each week. We sample another selection from Christian cinema because it's all part of the plan. I'm your host, Noelutians.

It's sitting 950 miles to my immediate left. It's my good friend, Heath and right-hate. Welcome back. Kya! Doing karate! I'm Kya! Kip up! Just so you know, I had to slightly reorient my room to keep you to my immediate left. Cool. good friend, Heath and right, Heath, welcome back. Yeah, dude, karate, punk, kid, kipa. Just so you know, I had to slightly reorient my room to keep you to my immediate left.

Cool. Now Eli's gonna be unable to join us this week, but sitting one pond to my east is guest, masked, and host to be reasonable, Michael Marshall, Marsh, welcome back. Hey, thanks for having me guys always a pleasure to be here and to subject myself to whatever it is you're making me watch this week.

Good Lord, this was one, this was one. Yeah. Yeah. This is a tough one. This is a bit of a gauntlet. It's, I would say it's a movie. Sometimes it's not a movie. This is right. Technically a movie. It's two thirds of a movie. Maybe it's maybe the third two thirds of a redemption arc, essentially. Oh, yeah. Right. Right. Exactly. So, but here's, you're welcome. Here's the thing though. It is definitely higher quality than a lot of the stuff that we do but sometimes when it's like we reached uncanny valley It's so close to a movie that it's disturbing that it isn't yeah, right? So all right, well, we've talked about it quite a bit here. Let's let's tell the audience what it is tell us Heath. What will we be breaking down today? We watched the favorite

It's the story of a guy who had a traumatic brain injury from a car accident and wrote a movie about it way too soon all by himself. Right after traumatic brain injury, he wrote the script. Yeah. And Marsh, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love a good redemption story about the perils of toxic masculinity, but you always find yourself rooting for the toxic masculinity, you'll love the case of movie. This movie is for people who thought Patrick Bateman was just a little too in touch with his emotions. And the thing is, so this, this is the favorite. And I want to point out, it's not the other movie called The Favorite, where Emma Stone and Rachel Vise take turns having sex with

Olivia Coleman. Yeah. At least I don't think it's that film, or although the blurb does say modified family viewing, so is that film. They've really nailed that edit. They've absolutely smashed that edit. I was really disappointed when I started looking at other people's notes now. It's like, I'm watching the wrong movie. God. Yeah. He finished. I finished. But yes, then you're watching the right movie. Yeah. He wanted to point out there's a favorite with a you too. That's the whole reason. Yeah. No, except you could hear the you if you listen really carefully. Lists as you got to pay the same you. All right, so is there anything you guys want to dominate this one for being the best to be in the worst at?

Yeah, I'm going to go with best worst actor and character names as a combination. So Matt Fahey plays the character of Luke Bernard in this movie. And the character of Benjamin Bernard is played by Luke Bernard. It's based on the story of the actor Luke Bernard, he asked her. It's based on the story of the actor, Luke Bernard, who was not convincing enough to win the role of himself in his own business that he wrote about himself. I think it's that, but it's even weird, I think, because his full name is Luke Benjamin Benarr. Yeah, it is even weird. And I thought, is this going to be like a fight club situation where like one half of him is facing off against the other half of him and he's just sort of split himself down the minute and yes, kind of. Yes, basically, yes. That happens

almost. It's like the opposite of that though. Yeah. Yeah. So I was going to go with best words to violence. Okay. So this is a movie about MMA fighting. There's a big car wreck at the heart of it, but it's Christian. So they don't want to have a bunch of blood and violence. And the compromises that like we get to see the top half of ground and pound a lot of stuff like that. The compromises are hilarious. We get to see pound, but not ground. Yeah.

Actually, just ground, we're doing ground, pound is bloody. I'm going to say best worst improv because constantly throughout this film, the other actors are in scenes with Ben played by Luke Bernard and they'll be acting and they'll be riffing and he just gives them nothing back. It's so rough. They're just like playing coming up with like little fun bits to do and little fun actions and he's just confused and static and saying nothing and it's it's so hard to watch. It's so difficult. Hey buddy, do you want to just say yes and no? And no. And the thing is it made me wonder whether the guy playing Ben Lupinard is even an actor. And I ended up having to spend some time looking him up.

I got to IMDB, I got to his IMDB page. Apparently he's a trained actor. I don't think particularly well or anything like that. But on his IMDB pitch, there's a bit of trivia, which I thought it sheds a lot of light on this film. And the trivia just says, Luke lived in Nigeria until he was eight years old. And when he left his best friend in Africa gave him a farewell gift, he received a carved arrowhead. And when Home in America, the arrowhead was quickly taken away from Luke since he was using it to kill birds. And that explains everything about

this film. It explains it off for life. You can have it back at the end of the semester. Is this guy this person so well? Yes. All right, well I'll tell you what, we're about to spend a couple hours making fun of a fully yoked MMA fighting sociopath who kills birds just to watch them die apparently. So we need a second to sort out our life insurance policies et cetera, but we're gonna be back in a minute

with all the half-assery that is the favorites. Hey, podcast listeners. Just cutting in with a quick update on vulgarity for charity and I've got some good news, some better news, and some even better news. The good news is that we've already blown through that $100,000 match and raised over $125,000 for needy families all over the country. The better news is that our anonymous donors extended this match to include every penny we raised this year and the even better than that news is that we've extended the fundraiser

by five days. So instead of needing to get your donation in before Thanksgiving, you now have the whole weekend. Any donation that comes in by midnight on the 29th will be eligible for an on-air roast with the match that puts our overall total at over a quarter of a million bucks and we're within striking distance of the $300 dollars that we raised back in 2019 but to get there we still need your help. Just go to modestneeds.org, make the biggest donation you can then email your receipt to Volgarity for charity at gmail.com along with the details on who you want roasted. You'll find all the information on the show notes are by checking out scathingatheist.com. Thanks for all your help and thanks for once again overwhelming us with your generosity

and now back to the show. Alright everybody welcome to the first writers room meeting for the favorite. Ray Hazah! I'm the best. Oh thank me. Now obviously my story is very impactful one so we're gonna need a really talented writer to pull it off. I think I should write it Ben Ben. Wow, really? You think I have enough experience and talent as a writer to do this? Hey, I did win that creative writing contest in third grade. Did I not? Well, yeah, anywhere in the top five is technically winning. That is true.

So I guess I, we all, yes, you I did. Well, there I go. Wow, I am flattered. I'm flattered. Don't be flattered. I'm lucky to have me. Okay, so well, obviously I have to include that time. Dad forgot me at the water park.

Yeah, to build sympathy, right? Exactly, exactly. And that time he didn't show up for my big MMA fight. Heart breaking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely include that. And that time he didn't want to help fixing the car. That's the day the voices first came. Sure was.

Sure was. Yeah, the voices came not dead. That's correct. But man, I don't know where we'll find an actor with enough skill to portray such a deep and complex role. Oh, I think I should do it. Really? You think you got the acting chops for that? Remember that play in ninth grade, don't I? I was the only tree that swayed exactly on rhythm. I have very good rhythm. Exactly. You do have perfect rhythm. Wow. Well, if I think I'm good enough, I guess we should do it. Please, I'm lucky to have me. I hope I'll do a nude scene. I feel like I can talk me into it. Am I leaning in? And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to open up this one by breathing that,

oh, it's the universal logo sigh of relief. Right? Like, I mean, at least it's not going to be like a home movie lighting type of thing. Yeah, I was genuinely shocked to see Universal logo at this point. I was like, wow, a Universal film. And that was immediately followed by light bearer and gray house films. I was like, oh, okay, yeah, that's more like it.

That's cool, like what we're expecting. Yeah, you know what, let's dwell on the professional lighting for a little while. Yeah. We're gonna run out of positive right after that. Yeah, yeah. So we get the inspired by true events. There's no asterisk or anything, which is bold.

Fuck it's bold. And then we see a crashless car crash. This, the car crash, I think is wonderful, because it's not even like, we don't see any of the cars crashing. They just sort of drive near each other, like they've sort of spooked each other, and that's enough. And that's all we see at this point.

Listen, the important thing is, an incident has inside of the plot marks. Exactly. And we see that be a fucking spy hunter cam. Yeah. Yeah, original GTA angle. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. Did you have some weird music for this, too? It did not line up with what was happening at all. No, no. It didn't. It also, the way the song went. It seemed like it was kind of like a French pop song that was where they're speaking in English, but they've got all like the pronunciation and intonation just all wrong because they

don't understand the words they're saying. That's what it kind of felt like. Just all jarring. It was like Dawson's Creek took a little bit of cocaine. It was like, I'm based Euro pop version of Dawson's Creek and they got all the syllables wrong. Yeah, absolutely. So, Creek and they got all the syllables wrong. Yeah, absolutely. So, okay, so we get the car crash.

We hear somebody calling for Luke and then that fades into this kid at like a water park or something like who's been forgotten, slash abandoned, whatever. And he's calling for Luke and calling for his dad. He's just going, Luke, dad for like eight minutes. Classic amber alert opening to a movie. That's fun. Right. It took so long. It took a while.

Yeah, he just keeps saying Luke Dad, Luke Dad over and over again. I thought either this kid is forgotten his lines or everyone misunderstood how long it would take for the camera to pan in. And so just keep going till we give this video. Are we this far away with the camera? We should have started closer. So yes, the dad's going for Luke or his dad. And then we see John Schneider just hanging out, not hurting anyone doing his thing.

John Schneider, man, every time I'm reminded like, oh, this, this is somebody I know about and I have like ins and jokes about. I'm very unhappy. It's best. Oh, I know I did who this person is. Oh, he's the Duke's a hazard guy. He's been in several of Gamma's movies. Oh, he's like a low level David A.R. White. And that is rough now that I'm here. Right, yeah, exactly. He's like three levels below Kevin's sword.

And I love this. So he, we see him in Luke and they're getting in the van. He's like, where's your brother? And he's like, that's probably near. And he's like, okay, that's good enough. Cause it's like a church trip. He's like, oh, he's in the other van maybe. And the dad's like, that's close enough.

All right, let's go. Yeah, I don't have kids. I think I'd be a lot clearer about where my kids were before I drove off. You'd hope so. Once he didn't know where the kid is, he's like, well, I'm not gonna turn the van around now. We're like halfway back.

Come on, come on, don't be a dick about it, kid. Yeah. And he didn't know where the kid is, he's like, well, I'm not gonna turn the van around now. We're like halfway back, come on. Come on, don't be a dick about it, kid. Yeah. And he calls up his wife. He's like, honey, maybe kid lost. I don't know. And she's like, all right. I don't know. I'll check it out. The parents are being way too cool about their abandoned child.

They're just like, yeah, we'll figure it out. I don't know. Yeah. No, he's just like, hey, hun, forgot one of our kids again. Can you take care of that? And she's like, well, aren't you driving around right now? And then she's like, hey, I forgot one of our kids again. Can you take care of that? And it's just like, well, aren't you driving around right now? And then it's like, well, I don't want him to miss his soccer game. Yeah.

And this is ridiculous until you realize, and it's exactly at this moment, that the line screen player by Luke Bernard comes up as they're showing, you know, Lucas a Bernard right on screen. It's like, oh, this is the guy who wrote that is the guy who's abandoned. And he's trying to make out how utterly hard done to. He wants. That's why I was showing this ridiculous he knows his parents not caring. Yeah. And mom's like, all right, I'm going to finish the crossword. I'm doing pretty good right now. I'll get him. No, I'll fucking get him. Yeah. Yeah. So, oh, and then we also get this quick scene where like the bullies try to

steal his DS. And I guess the implication is that he fucked them right up. So this is it. This is that scene. Is that the indication? I don't think so. They beat him. Himmel. Yeah. I thought it was like, oh, and he then had to start looking after himself. But it's him because he was so much after him. Yeah. No, look, we, we, we see them again when moms picking them up. The other kids are all beat to hell. Oh, I didn't know. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'd put that in. Yeah. To pretend that he beat up kids who tried to take his DS. Yeah. Oh my god. Yes, yes. Inard put that in his mouth. Yes. To pretend that he beat up kids who tried to take his DS. Yes.

Oh my God, he clearly had his DS stolen and got beat up. 100%. Yeah, he's rewriting fights he had as an eight-year-old. As an eight-year-old, yes. Yup. So amazing. I might be the most pathetic thing we've ever covered on this show.

Well, so far, Eddie. And then I called Time Out. I called timeout, and it was officially a time out. So the punch goes being count. And then later the score changed when it was time in and I won technically. So yeah, so then we cut over to the soccer game. We cut over to his brother Luke's soccer game where dad is cheering like, go Luke, you're my favorite son, you know, oh my God. And he's it's an old American guy trying to cheer for like soccer the ball kick. Devils. Then soccer.

He shouts drive drive drives, which is not instruction. I'm aware of it, especially not to a kid who's not on the ball at the time. Like where is that kid driving to all from? Drive over there and pick up your brother. I wrote in my notes here, Marsha's definitely getting super angry right now. I'm not able to see it, but that's happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, to be honest, I wasn't too angry because that is exactly what kids football looks like. Every single person on the pitch just chases the ball around. Like it flies chasing a bit of meat on the end of a string or something just to start full after the ball. It's ridiculous.

The swarm of 20 plus a goliath on their side. Yeah, exactly. It's completely. And then there's this little moment where poor little Ben, the forgotten afterthought son beats his high score on some game on his DS. He's like, Dad, look, I beat my high score in the desk. I don't fucking care, man. I'm busy loving your brother right now. Nobody cares, man. Learn a sport if you want to be loved by me.

You're the worst. And seriously, this dynamic between dad and Ben happens for the rest of the movie, and it's the fucking greatest. Everybody hates him as they should. Yeah, and it's the greatest. It will pay off as well. The reconciliation moment later in the other film.

They pays off in a lovely way as well. So yeah, oh, doesn't it? No spoiler on that. To be clear, as they should, he's very hateable, not because he likes DS and not sports, but that's the example here. He's about dying. He's about to always. He's the bad guy.

Yes. Absolutely. Okay, so and then we get a quick, incredibly useless scene even by the standards of this film where mom picks the kids up from school. And little Ben is like, mom, I did better on math. I got a B. And Lucas, like, I got all A's, you little pieces, shit. Yeah, this, this scene while, me, because she's picking the kids up from school. There's only two kids leaving that school. So what school is this? The only people walk out of school is two children and then two

very clearly adult women. So I guess it's like a one to one thing. But then Ben says, really good faculty student ratio. Yeah, exactly. It's a really prestigious school. But then Ben says, you know, it looks like my mass tutoring is finally paid off. So this kid who's making out how hard done two years is getting like exclusive mass tutoring the entire time. Not that I loved. So again, my, my mass is getting much better and also I'm expoliting at a 10th grade level. So I'm really, really coming along. Dude, you got to be in math. What, there's, you're the only kid in the class. What's the curve? You landed that right? You suck. You're the worst. And he is. And then he punches his brother who got the all the A's. He punches. Yeah card. Yeah, full shadowing. And in that.

Right. So then what we speed cut the 10 years later and Ben is training to punch people at the punching people gym. Him and his training partner immediately start having the your gay, no, your gay conversation. Right. Oh, God.

Well, they do, but this is the first moment of bad improv where his training partner is really sort of rolling with it to talk about how are you going to get him in like a sumo costume, have a little kind of sumo G string, and the other guy at Ben has just got nothing. So, yeah, yes, sumo is the thing they do. And, okay, just to be clear, it's worse than that. The actor that this real allegedly real actor is acting with is an MMA fighter, not an actor. and he's like, would you mother fuckers will fight me?

I'll fight any mother fucker in here. You know, like happens at gym. It's so weird. Somebody fight me. It's meant to be a real gym. That's not how real gyms work. There's no version of a real gym that involves just shouting at the top of your lungs. Someone can be punched by me.

Okay. Well, this is great ease's MMA, not Gracies, but Gray. Yeah. Almost sending Jim. So yeah, so that guy challenges one dude to a fight and then that dude loses so that Ben can go and have his like proving the scene. But of course, it's a Christian movie so we don't get to see the violence really. Yeah, we just cut away and we cut back to the guy who's been beaten up who's called tank apparently. He's in it for like two seconds. Yeah, I'll fight you, cut away, tanks on the floor being punched. Okay, well I just wanted to watch how that fight played out because it's literally like a two second fight. So a tank must just sort of like run at him. So let's just like run at him. Falling down. I slid.

I slid. I just trips on his own foot and falls on space knocked out. So yeah, but, but Ben sure kicks that guy's ass so much so they have to pull him off of the guy because he's too badass or just an asshole who's taking things too seriously. Yeah, like an all the way through this film, whenever he gets, first of all, his only move in this entire film is get somewhere on the floor and start punching the fuck out of their head. And every single time he does it, someone have to pull him off, pull him away at the

end because he's going to carry on punching the guy in the face long after the fight is over, which is evidence that he's the bad guy in any film. That's what the bad guy does. Yes. Yeah. Takes out an assault rifle, goes to Kenosha fuckers. Yeah. But like, yeah, so he gets off me. We have a couple more you have of a China. No, you have a vagina in salts. This is also where we introduce his rival MMA fighter Michael who trains at the same gym as him. Yeah, which just made me think, is this gym just a line of men like insisting somebody fight them like Wednesdays? That's what it appears to be. Tank gets beaten up, the next guy who beats him gets beaten by Ben, then Venom, his Michael Venom, whatever, is

trying to fight Ben afterwards. It's just like Wednesdays on in the gym. Oh, yeah, there he can show us that line of like 12 other guys just being like, I hope they hurry up. It's gonna take them. We're just I mean we're 11th and 12 luckily tank only lasted two seconds. That was quicker than I thought, but man, it's like a pool table in the bar. You can't see that the manager put like a quarter down on the side of the league just to reserve their place. Can we get some folding chairs for this area? I don't know. So, but the boss sees Ben and Michael John at each other. He says, hey, I need to talk to you Can we get some folding chairs for this area? I don't know. So, but the boss sees Ben and Michael John at each other.

He says, Hey, I need to talk to you too in my office. Right. So this is where we meet the boss of the gym. Tyrone Woodley, also a real MMA fighter. Sure. What an actor. No. No.

No. But yeah. So apparently he's got Ben, the rival of Fight, but he didn't get one for Ben. And the way they allocate Fight in his gym is to give the person a copy of the poster, I think, because he just hands them the poster, which is very clearly designed using word clip art. You know, it's comic sands, it's got that kind of shadow effect on the font, you've got little pairs or hearts or whatever.

And he just hands in the poster as a way of booking the fight. And I feel like you'd have a more formal system than, so here's just a copy the poster I pulled down off the notice board. Is this the tick? Is there a QR? There's not a QR code. What do I just go up to them and hand them? Or maybe it's like one of those things where there's got the phone number on

little tear off tags if you want to fight. Take this call. Oh, there you go. Is this a real gem or not? So, and then we, this is hilarious. Okay. So we cut over to dad and dad is now at Luke's soccer practice with his 10 years older Luke and he's cheering him on. And I know this isn't what they're going for, but it plays like Luke has just been in this same game of soccer for 10 fucking years. Dad has just got a decade older cheering for him all the time. Still zero, zero. That's super for him.

Cool. Something's going to happen. This was the football scene that really, really pissed me off. The kids were like, I didn't understand this one. First of all, they try and make Luke look like this incredibly skillful player. So he did, he sells the defender like a Marseille roulette. It's kind of 360 spin, but it's the slowest and most sign Paul said spin I have ever seen. He basically points his way through exactly where he's going to be at any time. I'm going to press the R stick now and do a circle with it. But why is his dad there? Right. His dad going along to his kids soccer

practice makes sense. But when his, his son is like a grown adult who just presumably is playing for a team now, why are you turning up a training to cheer? It's fucking weird. That doesn't happen. Well, I guess apparently he didn't want to be outdone by who he's dad. It'll be damn Patrick Warford. It's going to beat me. But yeah, apparently, and then we get the scout comes to see him after practice. Right.

Oh, God. Oh, this is so, this is so infuriating. This how this works, right? This is how scouts work, right? Yeah. Real salt lake is scouting him here. And apparently it is every soccer player's dream to play soccer mecca of Utah. Yeah. Thoughts. Is that correct?

Absolutely. In the world of football. Absolutely. And so I didn't say nil nil earlier by the way. Go ahead. But like, so he's being scouted by this scout. And when this guy comes up, I'm from real Salt likes, you know, and he says, oh, I watched you in the cup is what Luke says to him. And I looked it up.

The only time they've won the cup was the 2009 MLS cup. That's the only thing they've ever won in all of Real Sol-Legs history. So this film was made in 2019. So he's saying, oh, yeah, I watched you win the cup 10 years. I fall a decade ago. Rather than, oh, yeah, I know who you are because you play in the league of the sport. Yeah, I can't wait to do the thing that I'm currently doing. And I've never been scouted by a professional football scout.

I'm pretty certain it isn't that they turn up to one training session. Walk over to you and say, hi, I like you. Here's my card. Consider yourself scouted and then walk off again. Oh, and give them a hat. He gives them a hat. So that's the deal I guess. Yeah.

Do you like me? Yes. No, and give them a hat. He gives them a hat. So that's the thing. Yeah. Do you like me? Yes. No, Ray Alcalo. I love the different answer. Ray Al. Isn't that that's just Spanish for royal and they were like, Ray Al Madrid's the name of a real football team. Well, that's where art. It's just, it's Ray Alcalo. Like now. There you go. So just in case you haven't yet caught on to the concept of dad loving Luke more than he loves Ben. We get another scene where Ben is shown up at the house and Luke is telling him about how dad loves him more than he loves Ben. Yep.

Also, Luke's pissed off that Benjamin wasn't at his soccer practice. Why would your brother turn up to your training if you're a football player? Why do you expect you're family to be there? It's so weird at every practice. We did a really good one touch drill. I was awesome in it. You're an asshole. This is also where we introduced the barn find barracuda, right? So Lucas found this old car that he wants to fix up with dad, but Ben doesn't have a car that he wants to fix up with that. It's just again, they are spoon feeding us this premise. Yeah. I had no idea what a film with Barra Kudar was. So I didn't know what to expect at any

point is a work in a thing, but they think it's really impressive because they shoot this whole scene like it's the before scene of American pickers. You know, it's, yeah, right. A whole lot of angles of how rough it is. I expected like a voice over to start saying what work needed to be done and how much they got it for. But everything about this film so far, it was just kind of cars cage fighting, American rock music, toxic masculinity. I just have zero interest in this film at this point.

You are, if you weren't forcing me to watch this, I would have turned off at this point. I'm surprised you would have made it that long. Okay. So then we cut to some fucking like the talent show that I so confused as to everyone's age in this movie, right? How old are any of them supposed to be they all live at home, but they're all in high school But they're all in college, but they're all in their 30s. I don't know But anyway, so we go to the talent show where Ben's girlfriend is going to be doing her her dance performance God we actually watch an amateur dance recital for a grown-up. And again, I'm not sure what age we're talking about.

Is it a grown-up? I have no idea. I have genuinely no idea what this is. First of all, his girlfriend being played by a castor brand Lindsay Lohan, which is really impressive because Lindsay Lohan has spent most of her career trying to be a star-bron-lindsy Lohan. Somehow, this film still sort of undercuts that. Oh, I thought she was more of a Jennifer Lawrence. I had her as Jennifer Florence in my notes, actually.

Oh, nice. Nice. I had her as the college girl from the Reliant with Kevin Sorba, she was stunning. Oh, that's right. I recognize all of them now. It's really getting sad. She tries to flirt with Ben because she's an actor, but he's just not able to do it.

And so she just visibly struggles trying to flirt with this impassive brick wall of a confused man. Oh, it's so rough. It's just one of the, I have flowers. All right. Just look at. Oh, it's bad. So he explains that he's jealous because another man has touched her.

She seems to think that's charming. It's not. It's a fucking red flag. Yep. Everything he does is a red flag and yet he still comes a waste post being being the hero of this film. Yeah. So and then we watch her dance and I wrote on mine and my nose.

I bet this part is only seven seconds long on the pure flick's cut. She's very flexible. Actually, it was surprising how much of it they left. It almost got me back on board from, from leaving from the talks in my state of how much of it is they left, they left in. So and then, okay, so the talent show, I guess, or whatever is over. Way too many applause at the end of this, by the way. Yeah.

crowd goes nuts. Their life is a goddamn nightmare. It's going to go. I have to watch. This is this relationship. So you have to go watch amateur dance recite. Is that what Normie's do? I've never had to go watch an amateur dance recite. God. No, no, I've never had to do that. So all right. So but they're waiting for her afterwards. It turns out that Luke, the good brother got engaged to his girlfriend this very night. And we, we established that the fiance is Ben's girlfriend's best friend. Now we established that because when she comes out after the talent show, the fiance gives her a necklace that says best friends forever. Yeah. Yeah.

Show don't tell perfect, but it writing good stuff. Yeah. And then they they squeal and you can tell that neither of the actresses wanted to do that fucking. Hey, we'll squeal if you give us names. They're like, no, just squeal now. And I actually wrote down Luke got engaged to unnamed woman number two. Great. I'm going to call her Becky Dell. We'll see how that goes.

Spoiler. I was so happy when I found this out. Her actual name is Rebecca. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You nailed it. Rebecca Dell here. And again, what spends reaction to this? Ben, the heroes film, his reaction to finding out his brother just got engaged that very night just right in the moment he's engaged he says oh that's a ball in chain is I fuck you're such a prick yeah such a prick how we meant to like you right right yeah and of course just like everything else in the and the movie Ben makes it all about him is a girl will micro from this is supposed to be about micro for the night you fucking dick so okay so they they decided to go out on a double date to celebrate the engagement and as they're driving along This is when Luke tells him that he's gonna go pro the re-al salt like Scout gave my hat and everything but then Luke is ribbon and he's like, yeah, you know

I'm better than you in every possible way and then we get the car wreck from the beginning Yes, and the car crash is basically that the cars decide and not even that quickly to switch the lanes that are driving it. So they switch up the other lane and the car in front of them switches onto the lane that they were in. And it's basically like that time in the 60s in Sweden where they change driving from the left to the right overnight. It was September 3rd, 1970. Yeah, yeah, January happened. It was called H day. How'd that go? Did it work out really well? Yeah, it did. I looked this up for the purpose of making this joke. I looked at the details of it. It's really interesting. At 4.50 a.m., there was a sort of

clax that everyone was told to stop and all the traffic around were halved. And then everyone had to slowly make their way to the opposite lane. And then at 5 o'clock, there was like all the bells would ring. And then they just crack onclock, there was like all the bells were ringing and then they just crack on and carry on from there. So it was literally in a 10 minute window they had to sort that traffic jam out and then they were just on the other side and they rode from there on.

And it aged there, they call it. But if you did that in modern day America, you know that the right would just stay on the right side of the road, right? They would just be like, no, I'm driving. It's my freedom to use this side of the road. Yeah, left directionals are hoax. What?

All right. So, but we've had the wreck now. We're outside of the wreck. Ben was thrown from the car and he's looking, he's calling for a loop like he was in the beginning and Ashley's all fucked up. The ambulances show up. And the thing is that the car that are in has flipped in his upside down. They were nowhere near driving fast enough to flip the car.

I don't think they were fast enough to like bump the bumper if they crashed into a tree. Right. But somehow the car is upside down and he's been thrown, he's the only one thrown entirely from the car and basically doesn't have a scratch on it. Yeah. Well, he did a dive roll and he's like, he actually beat up that tree when it tried to hit him and take his DS. But yeah, so we go to the hospital post wreck. Mom and dad show up.

The doctor's like, I'm sorry to tell you your crappy son is fine, but your good son's brain is all fucked up. Yeah. We just like good news and bad news. You hate Luke, right? So I guess, you know, it's hard to say what the news is good about. Yeah, he's fucked up. He's got, you know, his brain's an expanding bag of blood.

Oh, I'm not sure why I would tell you that. All right, that's weird. And I've got to say the hospital, the only time I've ever seen a hospital this empty was on an anti-vaxxist TikTok. You know, it's all that the ghosts are dancing with the hospitals are empty. Yeah, and so, and of course, it's a Christian movie, so we have to have the doctor come in and go, eh, what are you going to do? He's going to live, he's going to die, probably going to die.

Anyway, we'll talk to you later. And then the chaplain shows up and he's like, I would like to spend some time with you and be very, very thoughtful and nice and and everything. And it's just again, it's because you ain't got nothing else to do though, man. You're just, that's all you're there for. And yeah, it's the dad who leads the prayer. And it's great because he sort of goes, Father, we pray that you please don't take Luke home. Like he was checking his notes or reminding him what he wanted to do. Yeah. Right. He's like, all right, whatever you do, God, don't just leave me with this half-ass son.

I mean, come on. And Ben's pissed off that he doesn't get an early enough mention in the prayer. He storms off because he's like, oh, I can't believe you're praying for Luke, the one who's currently in a coma. Why aren't you praying for me? The entirely unscathed one who's still right next to you. Yeah. Right.

Well, the thing is, is that honestly, Ben is such a, that this actor that plays Ben is such a bad actor that you can never tell what he's supposed to be mad about, right? His facial expression never matches what he's supposed to be doing. Yes. And the closest he gets to acting or what he considers to be acting is to just occasionally stammer some of his sentences in a really unconvincing way because he's stammering and stuttering the wrong parts of the words. Right. Yes. So, yeah, it's amazing. So, but so of course, it's still act one.

So Ben is like, you think your silly little prayers are going to help and mom's like, you know that God answers prayer. And I'm like, what? And if you, if you count no, as an answer, then sure, I guess. And this is also where we learned that the other passenger died, Rebecca Del. Yeah. Apparently nobody prayed for her, I guess. Yeah. Nobody prayed for any of these people not to get into a car crash. Well, that's the problem. Yeah. They're, they're, they're really getting to it after the fact.

So we cut to Rebecca's funeral immediately after we learned that she dies. We get Ben hanging at the periphery of the funeral because he's the main character. Dude, don't turn. The funeral is not about you. Yeah, you're not the most grieving. Fuck off.

It's probably good. It's not about him because maybe tuck your shirt into your jeans for the funeral. I don't know. Well, I have a theory about this because yeah, he's hanging around in black shirt and shades and jeans. I can ask them, but I thought, well, hang on, they bury them quick because we only just found out she's died. We've no idea how long it is at the funeral.

I think the funeral was so fast that he just didn't have time to change outfits. Okay. He couldn't go out and get a suit because we only just found out she's dead. We've got to bury her immediately like she's a fucking vampire or something to come back to. And again, he's trying to act like he's like upset, but he's only way of acting upset. It's like looking down and then like trying to add two four digit numbers in his head is essential. And I thought everyone around him is so much better at acting than he is. It's like me in one of Eli's skits.

It's like, oh, okay, everyone's better at this than me. If I just just keep my head down, no one will notice that. Port carry the nine. Are you carrying the nine? So he's such a bad actor that at this point, I wrote, wait, is he supposed to want to fight the pastor giving the eulogy or what? Yeah.

So, okay, so now we cut to a bar where he's with his MMA buddy that's gonna never get a name or matter, but eventually turn out to be a traitor for no reason. It's all very weird and stupid. Yeah, and having this conversation is, is buddy saying, how's your brother doing? He said, oh, I don't want to talk about that. And instead of saying, okay, well, how about your girlfriend?

How about your parents? How they're coping with the death of their daughter and loy's up. No, let's talk about fighting stuff instead. Just straight at the fighting stuff, your perfect kind of conversation. The barmate turns up and she's like, hello, and his friend just immediately starts spilling the guys entire family story. Just gives them everything about bed. And like every single time his friend talks, more of Ben's personal information just falls out of him like he's Jim Carrey and LLaLaHat. His brother just got smushed by a car.

Sorry, sorry. He's having doubts about religion and thinks that prayer is useless and stupid. His father hates him because he's the worst. Forgot him at a water park one time when he was a Gattestiest stolen he did not beat up those kids And then the bartender decided that she wants to be a character as well So she comes up with the most ridiculous stupid senseless fucking sobriety ship bet Thing what happened here. Okay. Yeah. She says she hears about this tragedy and she's

like, all right, well, you know, prayer is pretty powerful. Let's test praying scientifically. And then she takes out a fishbowl full of AA chips that she collects. Yeah. Why does she collect all this from lapsed alcoholics that she saves? Yeah. You can just not serve people. If you don't want to Yeah, you can just not serve people. If you don't want to serve, you can just not, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, not ask about their A-A-S to design. But at first I assumed that this was just like

the stamps on the side of her bi-plan and I loved this character, but no. No, she's disappointed in them. Okay, this all happens. I have no idea what it means though. She says, all right, she takes out some of the AA chips and she's like, okay, you take these. If your brother is alive in six months,

you get free dinner here. And that's nothing. They're treating it like there's a bet here and he's like, yeah, fine, bet's on. That's a bet. What bet? What is the bet? What is she gonna have this? If the brother listen, what bet? What is the bet? What is she get out of this?

If the brother dies, does he have to buy her dinner? Yeah. Is he a colabit guy? The easiest betting against her in somehow, and they were like, chips are betting. So we'll have chips. I don't know. Oh, God, I hope it's not. I hope it's not she just bets anybody who comes in,

whose brother's been in a car accident, and she's just really across the actuarial table of your chances of surviving a car accident if the driver was a young male. So, no, honestly, this pays out way more often than I pay out. This is this a bank, you guys. So, now we cut to 11 days after the accident, we're still at the hospital and Luke is finally starting to stir his eyes are open-ish. We just montaged to 11 days after the accident. We buried the Hispanic fiance in that time and

that didn't even get a montage. So presumably the time between the funeral and now is montage worthy. So it's longer. So did they bury the next day? She died and just found insight in the ground. Maybe she was also thrown from the car just into a hole and she said, well, that's she's right here. I mean, we can go through the process. Oh, you know what? Into the hospital taking it back. This is a freebie. So that doesn't usually happen. It meant to be. I love to. So he starts blinking. Luke starts to blink. And mom's like, oh my God, the Lord has answered our prayers. And I'm like, you prayed that a week and a half later he would

regain nominal eyelid function. We step up your praying lady. Dad immediately, he sees the eyes open slightly and he's like, eyes are opening. God, God, I call it. This is God. I got to do this. Fuck you, doctor. You had nothing to do with this. What's lovely as well as Luke just blinking is outacting Ben. Ben is the worst actor ever convinced of him.

And Luke is moving one island outacting. It's amazing. And they actually cut over to Ben here and he's like, yeah, great job coming out of the coma, whatever. And you watch him be confused. He's doing math in his head again. And he's like, he holds up, he holds up the AHA chip. He's like, I think I just lost bet that doesn't make sense. I don't know what I do. Do I have to give her these chips back and buy her a dinner at her restaurant?

I don't know what happened. Maybe he's not a bad actor, maybe the character in the universe this film, it's just continually confused from this moment on as to what bet he signed up to. So, I'm just trying to start that. It was just, yeah, whenever he has a moment, he just drifted back off to what was going on there.

I was so strained. Can I raise right now? It feels like six month chip. Boom. So in case you hadn't gotten the impression yet that Luke is actually dad's favorite son, not Ben, we're going to have another scene dedicated to that. So we head back home, Ben is working on that old barn find of Luke's and the dad is like, yeah, man,

I'm not really in the mood to rebuild my dying son's car. Well, my son is still fighting for his life and Ben is like, you don't love me. I know, I get it. I get it. It's entirely reasonable. I can't focus on fixing this car while my son is still in a coma on maybe his death spread.

And Ben treats this like it's the biggest rejection of all time. Just have some fucking compassion for someone who isn't you. Other people have rich in the lives. The world exists outside of your own mind, Ben. Right. Right. If he wasn't the goddamn villain of the film, he'd recognize that. Yeah.

He's so shitty. And then he goes, well, okay, Dad, you don't want to work on a card. Would you like to come to my MMA fight tonight and the dad's like, nah, not particularly. I would meow. I love spending time with you just now. Just with this counts.

I feel like we did. We've seen each other a lot in the last 20 years, right? Maybe we just need a little space. So then we cut Ben spite that night. He's fighting very well. He's pushed the guy out on the floor. He's punching in the face. All the moves, all of the MMA moves.

Yep, yeah, exactly. Exactly. He does so well that the manager's like, oh, yeah, no, now you're ready for the big time. I thought, what about this fight prepared him from the big time? More than the other times he's pushed people to the floor and punched him in the face. Right. Is it like you've got to do it six times? Yeah, you've been used to it for a second time. Bang loyalty card.

There you go. It's like XP or something, right? You know what, really quick, break this piece of wood. back loyalty card. In you go. It's like XP or something, right? You know what, really quick break this piece of wood. Yep. Okay. Now you're professional. You know.

All right. Well, I'll tell you what, one character just walked up to another and said, trust me, we're going somewhere with this. So I think that means acting is over and we could take a break, but we're going to be back in a flash with even more of the favorites. Aheath, how's the Christmas shop been going? That's pretty good, I guess, but I have no idea what to get for Anna. Hmm, yes, tricky.

What do you get for the person who has to listen to Eli's desperate bids for attention when he's not podcasting? Right. Oh, man, that's got to be exhausting for her. Oh, is this a Raycon ad? I think it's a Raycon ad, right? Sure is. With seamless Bluetooth pairing

and a comfortable noise isolating fit, you can start listening right now and keep listening for hours. Yeah, Raycon offers eight hours of playtime with a 32 hour battery life, which will get you all the way through Eli's Starbucks order with a little bit of time to spare. A little bit, yeah.

Sure, look, I've been using Raycon earbuds for years now and I'm hard on my headphones, but even after dozens of audio books and hundreds of podcasts, they're still sound as good as the day I got them. There's even a built-in microphone so you can take calls on your earbuds at the press of a button or pretend to when somebody you're ignoring

tries to get your attention. Anna? That's right. So this holiday season, get them something they could use for calls, or music, for work, or for play, at home or on the go, or maybe just pick up a pair for yourself. Trust me, you're going to use them every day. To get your Raycons, just go to buyraycon.com slash gam today. Tonlock exclusive deals up to 20% off your Raycon order.

But hurry, the offer is available for a limited time only, and you don't want to miss it. That's buyraycon.com slash Gam. To unlock up to 20% off your Raycons, buyraycon.com slash Gam. All right, so it looks like he crossed that one off your list. What are you going to get for Lucinda? Oh, are we doing back-to-back Raycon ads?

No. I don't know, I don't even know what I asked. I just unrelated. Ori, which one do you weak little pants? He's just ready to fight me. Huh? I thought this was a real chill, but you guys look like a bunch of fucking cowards to me. Sir, you know, you ready to take me on? Bring it on, motherfucker. 100 bucks. No, I am not bringing it in any way, sir. I'm just, 100 knocks. Nope. I am not bringing it in any way, sir. I'm just, look, you're starting to scare our customers. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was a real gym. It's a real gym, sir. And the thing is, you're really starting to scare the Pilates class. They should be

scared. I could kick their asses. Yep. You could. It's a class for senior citizens. So I never would have made it to see your citizen age. If that had to step in the ring with me, that's not because I killed about no fucking. Yeah, I get where you're going rip out the spines that shove them up the races. That's that's very vivid. Yeah. Well, one way or the other, if you're not going to use that elliptical machine, you need to get off it and let somebody else use it. No, they have to fight me for it. No, no sir, they do not.

Arm wrestle? Nope. Rochambo. No. You don't have to ask you to leave. You're so just like the people at Wendy's. Rock, beat scissors man. And we're back for more of this shit and we're going to rejoin Ben at the hospital wishing

that Luke would hurry the fuck up with his slow as bullshit recovery. Technically Luke is shitty at coma recovery. But he's not good at everything. And I'm better at something. I way better at surviving car accidents. I'm better at not being in coma. There you go. And they're like, not the time, Ben.

Nobody likes you. Still nobody likes you. Stop. The sort of describing his recovery, like he just needs to stay awake a little bit longer every day. Like it's, it's a binary thing. You're either in a coma or not. Right. You're recovery is how much of the day you spend in a coma. Yeah. The doctor comes in and he's just like, they're like, yeah, he's been staying awake longer and longer. And of course, it's a fucking Christian movie doctor. So he's got to be like, nah, whatever. And the doctor says, well, I think we need to give him a tracheotomy. Mom starts fighting with the doctor over this.

This actually happens. He's like, we'd like to do a little bit more medical science. No, we said one doctor thing. And then God, that's it. You got one. Right. Eventually, they do wheel him off for the tracheotomy, but mom fights it the whole way. Like they're taking him into Auschwitz. And even dad is like, honey, maybe we do praying in medicine. I don't know, just like, as a gesture to the medicine people, let them think they're involved like shaking. But like we know what's happening. And then the movie, I love it when this happens, the movie forgets that we have an 11 day time cut.

So we cut to Ashley just getting home from the hospital. Apparently she's been in the hospital for 11 days over her broken ankle. Yeah. Yeah. And her rupture spleen, which I thought was weird that she managed to rupture her spleen in a car accident without breaking any ribs.

So it just kind of, I don't know if it's like a vibrational rupture spleen, which I thought was weird that she managed to rupture her spleen in a car accident without breaking any ribs. So it just kind of, I don't know if it was like a vibrational rupture. But they haven't looked into what typically rupture spleens in car accidents, because it's normally broken ribs, I think. Ben did a special karate punch on her chest area. I also love that. He's made her a banner. He's got a banner across the room as she comes into welcome home. And the welcome home sign has the word dance on it as a reminder of what she'll never do again. Yeah, right. That you love that you love that you may never do again. It's got that on it as well. Yeah, how about that? And then so they go upstairs and

bends like so you're back home. Should we maybe fuck a little? We could read the room, Ben. You're the fucking worst man So great and it thinks it's such a creepy and gross scene and I don't know that it was meant to be I think it's just him yes, I think you're right. I think it's impossible for him to do it in a way that isn't creepy and gross You're right. He's just he comes in and he's like yeah, I never fucked the spleenless chick before I didn't And and she's like no, I'm not gonna fuck you. You have to go to church with me. It's like, and then, and then we fuck? Well, what she says is Ben, you gotta take me out.

And she was delivering it like she was asking for youth and asian. I know you could have broken leg, you know the whole. I can still, but you could make some very good glue out of me yet. We'll put you out to see. It's fine. So yeah, but she's like, you gotta go to church with me. So we immediately cut to church. And he's like, okay, I'll go to church, but I'm not going

to love Jesus while I'm there. So we get the sermon and we get him like he's not na, he's checking his phone, he doesn't give a shit about this God stuff. It's quite a big room. And I felt, I bet this is the same room that the dance recital was in. They've just put a different curtain on. Oh wow. It's the same kind of and I thought I bet this is the same room that the dance recital was in. They've just put a different curtain on it. Oh wow. It's the same kind of layout. I bet that's what it is. They've got one room.

We'll use that. Yep. And this is the second time we get a sermon where like the mood, they wrote this. They're, he's Christian, but the sermon like accidentally does the problem of evil thing. Right. Because the guys like, all right, well, we believe the Bernard family, God, that that amazing car crash you did, great, mysterious way, totally get it. Amazing. Or we don't get it, but it's great. It's great. We're totally great. But please also fix it. And that, they can't do a better job of writing that just skip that. The movie on and on. Like this

was the second of several more times. They keep bumping into the problem with evil and then like, like a roomba and having to like turn around for a minute. And then like this is a fuck of skips. There's a carpet here. The line about them in the prayer, they actually have the line as you say, we agree with the Bernard family. And I thought, that's a really weird line in your prayer to God unless it's like you're all club together to come to God to ask for something,

and not one of you wants to be the person who leads the request, no, we've all had a chat. And we all agree. Everyone will agree that you should sort this out God. I wanted him to be like, we all agree with Bernard family. Ben is nowhere near as good as Luke. But then we do an even more meaningless time cut here, right?

We've cut four days after the trigiotomy surgery. And this seat is just amazing. It's just, it's just the dad going like, all right, this is fucking, we are, we are over a third of the way through the goddamn movie, Luke. Get up. Oh, it's the best. He's just panicking like wake the goddamn movie, Luke. Get up. Oh, it's the best. He's just panicking like wake the fuck up, Luke. Wake up now.

God, it's like prayer doesn't even work. No, I will not keep my voice down. What the fuck, what am I? A fucking atheist? Wake up my son now, God. It's the greatest. Yeah, I wrote my notes. Have you tried asking him a few more times to wake up?

Because that'll probably be because it's a's the number I think is a sweet spot. Just keep going. And that's it. You need a strongly worded letter to God. Maybe I don't know. And then, okay, this is fucking bizarre to me too. We have the moment where mom and dad go ape shit about those damn doctors constantly giving drugs to Luke.

Again, yeah, I'll get the nurse, the nurse comes in and is like, all right, gonna put some medicine that doctor told me to. They're like, nurse, we decided we're gonna stop using medicine. The first objection is so weird. They say he doesn't even drink. It's like they're not trying to help him get buzzed. They're trying to fix him. That's a much better idea.

That's happening now. No. This is not recreational morphine, you stupid fuck. No. I'm trying to help him get buzzed. I'm trying to fix him. That's too much. That's happening now. No. Yeah. This is not recreational morphine, you stupid fuck. No. But the nurses like, you want me to stop administering them. No.

I mean, okay, I guess I'll ask the doctor. No, we're not to end it. She has to like fake go ask the doctor if we can stop doing medical science. Right. Look in the back and see if they have no, no, any no drugs for him and do like make hand gestures in the other room with the doctor, but not be saying anything like, no, you make a gesture back and it'll look like we're having a real conversation. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck this scene was doing, but yeah, Ben is sick and tired all this shit. It's boring to watch him try to blink and bail. And mom says, don't worry, Ben, we've got thousands

of people praying. Yeah, I love that. We've got thousands of people praying so we don't need the sedatives. Like, nurse, can you get me 10 more CCs of prayer staff? We're seeing a sea stance for 100 Christians because it's a scene See stands for 100 Christians, because it's seen in the room in New York, because it's science. Oh, okay, it's not like homeopathy where they're like deluded. Okay. So, and I guess at this point,

Ben's character is supposed to be drunk, because he starts slurring his speech. That was the only way I could figure it out because he's such a bad fucking actor. Yeah, that he always kinda seems drunk. He does, and he's sort of being an asshole to people, he's patronizing people. And I thought, well, this guy, he's an asshole

who's weirdly proud of doing martial arts badly. He's patronizing to all the people around him, and he expresses an irritatingly self-important form of atheism. Is this the James Lindsay biopic? Oh, I'll get the, is the breakfast club clause, gonna be where he takes money from Christian national.

Because that racism doesn't exist. See, I was sure you were going show Rogan, but you went a different way on me. That was good. That was good. Oh, maybe James Lindsay will get into a car accident. Yeah. But this was the one good thing that the Ben character said.

He kind of has like an atheist angle here. He's like, okay, well, if Luke doesn't recover, will you assholes admit that God is either fake or the worst? And the movie again is like, Roomba must turn around. We get Ben sit at home and he's got to hit rock bottom, which means breaking things because toxic masculinity. So he like drops the bottle and then he picks up some melts glass and he breaks that like a fucking cat knocking shit off the counter.

He runs down the street and there's a pain of glass being carried by two guys. He my life. So and they've been these little framed boxing gloves, not really gloves, just the tape under the gloves or whatever, that have been framed with a note that's like, you know, too dad from Ben the whole time. So he picks those up and he breaks those because it's the breaking part of the movie. I'd say his character arc has reached a Nadir perhaps. Yes, yes.

So okay. So now we're going to head back to the bar where the tattooed bartender is cutting him off. He's been drinking too much. And he's like he's confused again and justifiably so he's drunk also. So it's even worse. He's just like I don't understand your a chip. So Luke, he's back in a coma now. Do I give you one chip and then you raise back? Do you owe me chips? I don't understand. Yeah. And the bartender's like, yeah, okay, well,

it's only been a few weeks, but yeah, you, you give me a chip to, we keep score with the, I don't know what's happening. Well, she says, wait, you know what, I got a very rare six month chip that just came in and that somehow represents the fact that you're giving up too soon. And he's like, are you sure?

That's not what that means. And she's really, really happy to have it. She says, this six month guy, you know, he said, he's given this, give me this chip because he'll never see me again. It's like, that's, that's not how that works. You're the bartender. He's giving you that chip because he's drinking. Right. He's giving up the six months. You don't know how AA chips

work, which is weird because AA is one of your things. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Do like successfully recovering alcoholics, go back to the bar for spite and like slap the chip on the bar six months. Yeah. Fuck you. God, you keep this now. These are people who fall off the wagon and you're keeping them as trophies. You're like predator with skills around your neck. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So, but at this point as well, when Ben has drunk his ears, he falls over.

And I really wanted just someone, anyone, to start punching him on the phone with all that. See how he watches. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. So, okay, and then there's this great moment. So, I guess Ben left the bar and went back to the hospital and just passed out drunk in the hospital waiting room Just we get mom showing up there to see him and she's like, oh, you smell like booze and she's like, oh, I'm not doing enough

Mopin. I'm doing too much moping. It's all you if you're never gonna for you Yeah, his mom says you read can you need a shower? And I thought that's the first line of this film I've read the leaves. Like, I genuinely think that's true. That he can pull off that bent. Yeah. Looks like he needs a shower is very accurate about this actor all the time. Yeah. Yeah. He's got that on one of his head shots. That's one of the characters he can be. Yeah. Unshoured guy number, well, number two. But yeah, right. So let's not get greedy here. And then of course we have to have the scene where dad's looking over the hospital bill

because our country is terrible and broken. And they're like, you know, and Ben's like, aren't we insured and he's like, well, so we're not this insured. Oh, fuck you, America. Jesus. Yeah. No, it's alright because the dad's got a plan because he said God's going to provide for us. And I wanted him to carry on because you know, I heard about this alternative to health insurance where we give

our money to other Christians. Yeah, but then, but just then Luke ever so slightly wakes up and his eyes are almost open. So, hooray, go God. And they start talking to him like a baby who hasn't developed object permanence like, Hey, Luke, you there, Luke, hello. It's like he's not a child. He's not gone right. When you have a call me, you don't reset to zero. I mean, I've got to all you develop as a baby again.

It's not like a Benjamin, but the kind of thing. Well, so yeah, so and then we get this. We jump ahead a little bit and Ben is trying to rehab Luke by just moving his arm, just going like arm movement Right like the guy like the asshole who pushes the guy the wheelchair without asking version of rehab. Yeah, yeah And Ashley comes in and she's like hey Ben you You're moving his arms and legs to jump start his brain. This doesn't count You want to like pull it like a chain saw you can't do that?

And he's like yes,, it does. It worked. And then Luke actually moves his leg here. Yeah, he moves it. He goes from fully paralyzed to a horizontal rivet density. Yeah. It's incredible. He goes, dude, you're right. Yeah.

Well, at first I love it because he starts doing his little river dance and they're like, oh, get, go get the doctor. Let the doctor know the doctor comes in and he's at first. He Michigan, Jay Frogs it for a bit. You know dance and they're like, oh, get, go get the doctor. Let the doctor know the doctor comes in any state. First he Michigan, Jay frogs it for a bit. You know, and they say like he was river dancing a minute ago, but then he doesn't again. And, and, but again, it's Christian movie doctors. So he's like, I don't know. And then, but Ben knows, damn it.

Yeah. And Ben's like, well, how could he move like that with an entirely broken back? And the doctor's like, I don't know. I, you know what? I'm going to look into some science. I've been meaning to do that, but this is not explainable with science as far as I know. Yeah. Yeah. Right. It's so weird. They say maybe do more x-rays in his back. And he goes, yeah, we're looking to that. Like what? You didn't think of that. Have you not been x-raying his back to see how it's been mending? Oh, yeah. No. Good call, man when X-raying is back to see how it's been

mending? Oh, yeah, no good call, man X-rays. You should really be wearing this. What the bug am I doing? Well, but all right. So sometime later we go, oh, this is maybe the best effort at improv that we get in the entire movie. This is the scene where Ben shows up with Ashley and they brought some lunch for the mom and he goes, Hey, mom, we brought you lunch in this bag of lunch because it's lunch time And you would want to eat lunch at lunch time. Please somebody say their goddamn scripted love me. Day food. Who goes next? Brunch also fuck God damn it. Can we cut? I wrote my notes at this point. I'm like, okay, so if God loved this kid as much as hoovy He gets play soccer again by the end of the movie. Let's see competition

So yeah, but he's brought a few mementos and everything he gives Luke a picture of his mom who's sitting right in front of him Yeah, it's like oh he recognizes mom from the pictures like he didn't have to bring she's right there Yeah, right you brought her lunch You didn't have to think she's right there. Yeah, right. You brought her a lunch. Lightly up. Right. Oh, and when he says that he recognized that they can't hear him speak, so they've got

to put their finger off the track, you'll see on his neck. So they can hear him speak, which I don't know if that's a weird, if that's a real thing, but it was very strange in this scene. It was pretty funny. Especially because I could understand him. Yeah, I could as well. It's the biggest one to do that. It's like, come on.

When else are you going to get a chance to touch a neckhole? This is, this is like, I'm, I'm not gonna put it all the way in. All the way. Right, but then Luke, so Luke recognizes mom in the picture. He kisses the picture and it's a big deal. Mom loves it. And then he's like, who's that girl there? Which, and that's Ashley, right? Yeah.

His girlfriend, his brother's girlfriend. Right. And so he doesn't recognize her. And they cut over to mom for a second. They show her face. And she's kind of happy about this whole exchange. She's like, yeah, recognize me still. Not this girl. Great. Well, once again, they've roombud themselves into a corner of the, though, because she's like, the mom's like, oh, thank the Lord. He's made a completely recovery. And then he's like, so who the fuck is that chick with you? Right.

Almost complete recovery. God damn it. This is a fictional movie. Why do this keep happening? Yeah. Spoiler, the movie will stay in this corner like a room, but it's very confused for the rest of the movie. Yep. Yep.

Yep. All right. So then we get them wheel and loop around in very much not miraculous recovery gear. No, no. No. He's wearing a mountaineering helmet, I think. In the last scene, the doctor wasn't remotely phased when he was like horizontal rivet dancing and throwing himself around in the bed.

But now he needs a mountaineering helmet at all times, apparently. Yeah. Yeah. But this is where dad gets the call from the real salt lace out and he's like, so, um, does he still have enough of a head for soccer? I mean, like, how much head are we missing here? Yeah. He's going to play left wings. We've mostly going to be heading with the right hand side. Oh, God. You might be able to catch it in the really. It's got a weird shape. It's got like a little you could stick it. Yeah, maybe you just run around with it actually.

I feel like he's good enough for real salt lake anyway. Real salt lock it. Yeah. He's looking, he's looking at MLS good in terms of his recovery. I'd say yeah. Salt lock is he's looking he's looking at MLS good in terms of his recovery. I'd say yeah. But and then he's like, well, hey, just so you know, dad, if it hadn't been for that accident, he was going to be our first round draft pick.

And then the dad's like, why would you tell me that? Maybe you sleep out. And just you don't have to do that. Imagine it. Just let me just tell you what an amazing dream was stolen from him by God. Do you hear that? I'm ripping up a really big check that I was going to write on this cross. I mean, also, if you're the dad, I feel you don't tell the scout that he may never play again until you know he's not going to play again because if he does play again, that scout's not

coming back because there's lots of other people to go scene. You've just ruined his dream just as much as anything else. Really? Yeah. And so, okay, so Ben finds out about that. He's very upset. This guy is such a bad fucking actor that he screws up standing still at this point. He's like pushing against the wall as though he's trying to get through it or something. And then I wrote my notes and then he has an idea

or he's such a bad actor that he doesn't know he's doing the I have an idea face. It was the latter. Yup, yes. He didn't have an idea. No, no, he didn't. I thought he was confused about whether his next move had to be to go and beat up the scout

for the chance to do it. Oh, okay. And he seemed just as confused about that question as well. I said, well, I guess the only thing that makes sense in his arc is I go and beat him up. Because I beat people up when I'm unhappy. Right. We heard of a guy who's made us unhappy.

This is just massive, this point. Punch solved now. Yeah. Right. No, it's a key realized, wait, I shouldn't be carrying a nine. Why would I be carrying a nine? It wouldn't be. So anyway, so and then we get once again,

somebody has to act circles around Ben. So we get the scene where like Luke is sick and tired of his recovery and he's screaming to his parents that he hates him and he's frowning at the mouth. And somehow Ben manages to get upset because they're all paying attention to Luke in that moment. So he stores off. Yeah, he's an absolute worst person. How you can watch that and still be a prick about your role in this is is incredible. Look at me. I'm moving my background better than he is. Look, look, I'm doing trunk twists, trunk twists, sit ups. Look, Ashley, that's Ashley. That's Ashley. See, I can recognize all odds. This is it. This is it. Even from the side.

Just making out with mom. Back. Okay, that's enough. All right, and then, so then we get the, we get some, some new doctor shows up. Why didn't they just use the same fucking doctor, actor? Some new doctor shows up, X raises spine and says, oh yeah, no, he's, he's doing great.

He's miraculously healed and they're like, are you sure? Cause he's got, yeah, a lot of braces and surgeries and like miraculously miraculously healed. His vertebra, a stable was unstable vertebra, his problem. I didn't think it was a stability issue. He had a broken back, I thought. Yeah. Well, the doctors played a little jenga and then, you know, that's the prayer is what

did it. Yeah, but now he no longer has a broken back. They've prayed his bones back together and somehow this isn't the end of the movie, or the end of atheism. And if they really prayed his bones back together, it should have been the end of both. Oh, I love it. The mom just turns to him and he says,

God healed you and I'm like, the doctor is right. Fuckin' there, lady, come on. That's why they got a new doctor. The first guy just got so pissed off I was always worth the thing to truly do. God did, I'm not seeing those guys again. They're absolutely preachers. Right.

He's like, Oh, no, no, God's got him. They're fine. They'll be fine, apparently. As they said, he didn't want any more drugs or a trakiatomy. Jesus. Yeah. Actually, according to Rifra as an atheist, I sincerely believe I don't have to help you anymore.

So that is happening. So, okay. So meanwhile, Ben is not training at the gym some more. And a promoter shows up there wanting to give one of the people in that gym a title fight. Please, not sure which one. This is so stupid. He runs up and he's like, Hey, I heard you were given out of title fight.

He's like, Yeah, we're to this guy to Venom to your ride. And he's like, I, he should have to fight me for it. Yeah, I would also like a title fight. And the promoter says, you know what? Yeah, that'll make it better. You know, but it's so strange because yeah, he says, he said that he increased the appeal of the title fight and we had another person to it.

But then he says, we need to get two of the fighters. So we've got, yes, I'll go up and get two of the fighters. But he was already arranging a title fight with the other fighter. So unless we only have one guy, then you had two guys, you've got Ben coming and he's going off to get another two guys at which point you've got to go for like a mini league former of five people. So like each one has to fight for the fight, but then you're going to have an advantage of the guy who sat out the first round because he's going to be fresh coming in. So you need to some sort of seeding or waiting into account. It's, it's just not right. You know, he makes it so this random guy in the

gym wanted in on the title fight. So instead of having one big fight, we're going to have essentially a round robin of 11 different fights. All right, let's pull the coaches to see who gets the buy in the first round. Round and fuck. This is hard. So yeah, so he's like, he's like, he's like, yeah, sure, that's how it works suddenly. And we'll give an extra $10,000 to whoever wins this mini tournament on the way. Not, I don't know, again, don't know a lot about MMA. I know enough to know that ain't how it works. By the way, this is where we learned that Ben Bernard goes by Ben, favorite. Bernard. It's the worst. It's the worst. It's the worst.

It's the worst. It's the worst. Nick and then he's giving it himself. Ben my dad loves me in his own way. Bernard. He does though. Bernard. The fighter.

Well, and then we cut. Okay. So we have this scene where apparently this is so fucked up, right? They get all the people who are rehabbing from spinal injuries and make him race. What is going on? It's a real crowd, it's a real crowd-pleasing event. It really draws the crowd in. Well, okay, so they've got all of these rehab people trying to walk around a track. They have 27 people standing around cheering from, but the sound effects are like three

orders of magnitude. Like it's a fucking football stadium worth of people cheering from them. But we see like 11 people standing around it's hilarious from the soundtrack. The, this is more of a spectator event than any of the MMA fights that will. Yeah, you're right. You're right. So yeah, but Luke is, is walking and everybody's cheering from and then he decides he's gonna start running

and he falls down immediately. Yeah, he does. It's not funny because he's injured. Good to get hurt, but it's still, it's kind of funny. So they pick him up, they put him back in his wheelchair. Yeah, they tell him, there's no shame in finishing in the chair. And I thought, where's the Eli Bosnick story with you two? Yeah.

I can't tell if Marshman Electricer come just now. I'm leaving it right out there, right out there. Okay. So yeah, but he's, he's feeling really bad about himself and really bummed and he doesn't want to go over the finish line in the wheelchair. So Ben decides that he believes in him. He's like, you don't need no stinkin' wheelchair. And I'm like, he just fell down.

He's missing a big chunk of his skull, guys, and Ben's like, no, no, no, we find, listen to the music in the background. It's uplifting. And so I'm lifting you. No one did that. So Ben helps him and they're going, you know, the making towards the finish line. And they even start doing some injury bantas. They look now where neck and neck. Luke says to Ben, and I want to bend to come back with

more like neck and broken neck. Am I right? Oh, shit. Sorry, I've got too far. I've got too far. Sorry, Luke, sorry. Seeing, right, right. Oh, good. So we cut back to the gym. We have some conversation that is both meaningless and sexist at the same fucking time. Again, we have improvised banter with his friend who's so much better on it, despite apparently not being an actor, because hey, they call me flash. What do they call you, burn? He's like, that's something you can do. Sorry, no, no.

Yeah. Again, this is literally your eye hole. Yes, the MMA fighter who is acting circles around the actor who wrote the script. Yep. Amazing. Yeah. And then Benem is very upset, right? So his rival comes in with the whole like, you know, what's this day of rest shit moment?

And when Ben walks off, we get this incredibly meaningless little bit where Michael, the rival, turns to the guy who up until this point has been Ben's training buddy and he's like hey you and I are in cahoots for later in the movie to take Ben down, right? And he's like we sure are yeah, are you still with me on what we talked about? Yeah Are you still with me on the foreshadowing? I sure am All right. So and then we head back to the hospital.

We have to have the moment where dad tells Luke that his fiance died in the accident. I feel like I feel like he noticed she wasn't there by now, right? It's been a fault night at least. Yeah. Exactly. And the way dad breaks it to him is to say, you know, oh, you remember Rebecca, she's your, well, she was your fiance. I thought that's not a very good intonation to deliver that sentence.

Yeah. Smooth. But he's got the mind of a very small child. So he's like, girl's gross. Okay. Good. Right. Yeah.

But yeah, but Luke is being discharged from the hospital now. And he's like, hey, guys, is it okay with mom? Dad, is it okay with you if I ride home with Ben? And they're like, Oh, yeah, man, things went so good. Last time you guys were in a car together, you might as well. Yeah. So please be in the crash. Please be great. If there was a car crash at this point, I've looked just like headbutts. I'm in the chest with his helmet or his sharp skull area or something. Yeah. There you go. But Ben wants to go to his dead fiancee's place and see her parents and then go to her grave.

So we do all of that. Also, when they get to the grave, I was thinking, right, next miracle, Hispanic girlfriend back to the dead. You know, Jesus, you don't want to fall. That's a proper miracle. We'd be well up for that. Right, right. Yeah.

So if you do promise him some miracle, give us a real fucking miracle. So yeah, and also, so he's looking at the, he's like watching the grave and Ben is watching him talk to the grave. And I know it's because he's a bad actor, but Ben looks jealous of the grave because it's getting more attention than him. Right. So he comes back and he's like, you know, so, hey, what did, what did you say to the grave? And he's like, oh, I can't tell you or it won't come true, right?

And he's like, nah, that's not, never mind. It's not a thing. The next scene bends dressed up with a bunch of flowers all over the top of him. I also, you should pay attention. Was that what it was? Also, it's a weird thing is a small thing, but in the background, one of the other graves has a balloon on it. And who brings balloons to a graveyard? Is that a thing?

I don't know. I see a very weird choice. That's a thing. I'm a balloon. I don't think Luke Bernard knows that isn't a thing. Okay. You go to a party city. What's a good helium balloon for a grave? Are you going to do the voice at the grave?

Don't do the voice at the grave. That's probably a bad idea. So then, okay, so, but then like Luke and Ben have a little heart heart. And he's like, yeah, you know, I apologize to the grave because I was driving when the accident was causing the and Ben's like, how about that? You're going to laugh. So, so you know how I'm the worst at everything? Yeah, I killed your fiance. It was my fault.

And he tells him the story of how he punched him in the chest into unconsciousness while driving on a highway. Yeah, this is manslaughter. Right. Yes, it is. You literally killed this lady. She's dead because of you. This because you lost your temper and you punched

him as apparently as you say, with everything you had, I mean, we watched it. It wasn't that big of a punch, but it's probably all you had from what we've seen you doing the rest of the fight. You killed him on this, right? Right. Yeah. So we flash back to the accident. We finally see how it happened. And it turns out that they were talking shit the brother was ribbon him and so he punched him unconscious mid-drive and needless to say when Luke finds out about this he's quite upset. He does he is he takes off his helmet and yells I have half a head and for the first time we see the results of a cranny ought to me and he does have half a head. And for the first time, we see the results of the cranny ought to me. And he does have half a head. And it was, I was not expecting to see the CG hole in the head.

That was, that was that took me by surprise. Yeah, they honestly did a good job with it. Right. That was the one part of the movie where I was like, oh, wow, I'm watching a movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. That reveal was very solid. Just absolutely took your breath away. Of course, I'm such a pet and I'm like, that's three corners of a head at least. But I also want to say, when he tells this story, Luke's first response is, I have

half a head, not my fiance in the love of my life is dead because it's right. Yeah. I feel like you don't have fiance at first. Also, yeah. Come on, man. Your heads have full. Right. And in fairness, we can understand why he's upset because we established earlier in the scouting scene that he's really into hats. He does like hats. Oh, right.

Yeah. He's going to make a heart about it. He's going to fit it all. So he'd lost a lot. He'd lost a lot. She's a scrux. Right. So yeah, so he takes, he takes his brother home. Then he goes over to Ashley's place hoping for some, I didn't mean to kill her and cripple

my brother's sympathy. And strangely enough, Ashley's not, she doesn't have much to give. Yeah, because like, yes, you did mean it. You said you punched him with everything you had. So you definitely meant it. Yeah. And how did Ashley miss, Ashley was in the car. How did she miss that he punched the driver?

How did that pass the ball? Is she was sat behind him? Right. Yeah. Seems like you'd notice that. Yeah. And again, Ashley's response to this is, look what you've done to Luke. Your best friend died in that accident, but she doesn't count because she's a woman.

And therefore, look what you've done to Luke. He can no longer wear hats well. Well, eventually gets around to herself too. She's like, oh, right. And my dream of dancing and everything because of Shattered ankle. I also, you also fucked me on this. And he's like, right, right, you're a woman. I didn't think about you. So yeah, she doesn't want him around anymore. So he drives off and he yells at himself for a little while. And I'm like, you know what,

driving around yelling at yourself is this movie. Right. Right. Yeah, he's just arguing with himself and being all mad. If he had punched himself and caused a big accident. Yeah, absolutely. That's what we deserve to see at this point. Right, right.

That would be the proper come up. And I just wrote in my notes, wow, the director decided this actor could carry a scene all by himself, huh? Whoa. All right. Well, let's do it. Ben clearly needs a minute to work through his feelings. So we're gonna pause for another quick break. But first, let me give Akby the hard sell here.

Can this script redeem Ben in time? Will the script even realize it's supposed to do that? What would the script say it does here? Fight out the answers to these questions and more. What we return for the villain gets away with the conclusion of the favorites. Twigs and Brambles. Lumpy Gray Paced.

Twigs and Brambles. Come on, Lumpy Gray Paced, let's do it. Guys, guys, what are you talking about? Oh, Marsh, you can settle it. Fine, okay, Marsh, we're trying to decide on a healthy breakfast. Should we do twigs and Brambles again or lumpy gray paste? Why don't you just try something delicious instead? Like how about a bowl of cereal?

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So if you don't like it for any reason at all, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. Remember, get your next delicious ball of guilt-free cereal at MagicSpoon.com slash Gam and use the code Gam to save $5 off. Thank you, magics moan for sponsoring this episode. So is this what you have for breakfast? Oh God, no, no, I'm English. So our breakfasts have got like beans and grilled tomatoes on them.

That's so weird. Yeah, but it's objectively the least weird food thing that we do. Bear. Okay. I've, I've got a confession to make Luke. Yeah. Yeah. What has it been? The accident was, it was kind of my fault. It was your fault. What do you mean?

Well, I just couldn't take your smug remarks anymore. So I punched you as hard as I could while we were going down a dark highway at 60 miles an hour. Sorry, wait. You killed my fiancee and destroyed my chances at a normal life. You punched me?

Yeah, I sure did, pro. So can you ever forgive me? No, what? Oh, you sure? Yeah, absolutely sure. What's more, I should not forgive you. I should, why would I do that? Well, I feel like you should like, eventually. No, no, I I should not forgive you. I should, why would I do that? Well, I feel like you should, like, eventually.

No, no, I definitely should not. What's more, any worldview that would suggest I should forgive you is flawed, at least to the extent that it says I should forgive you. Jesus, you killed somebody because you were in a snit about a playful fraternal ribbing thing. You punched me. Oh, come on, I wouldn't say I killed her.

Oh, you wouldn't say that, that. Oh you wouldn't say that really. Did you expect some nonfatal thing to happen when you hummled me unconscious while I was driving? You know just I mean I thought you're an evil villain who doesn't deserve to be forgiven. You should have to have the details tattooed on your face so everybody that passes you in the street knows to hate you for this. I'm not that bad. You are exactly, you're worse than that bad name. One thing Darth Vader did that's worse than what you just confessed to me. Oh, come on.

Darth Vader blew up a whole planet. So actually a resident star wars nerd here, grandma, Tarcan blew up all the wrong. Not. Right. Yeah, fine. But Darth Vader stood by while the whole planet was destroyed And we're all doing that every day bro. It's it okay. Yeah true. Um, who are you though? I'm the And the resident Star Wars nerd. I just said that right. Yeah, you said that. Okay. Okay. How about this Luke

What if what if I apologize to my imagination could you could you forgive me if I did that? Hmm will the apology be out loud? No. Yeah, that'll work, I guess. This is how our religion works. Sure is work, Christian. And we're back for still more of this shit. We're going to rejoin Ben at the gym, practice and punch and things. And since, you know, that's gone so well for him. So often in his life. Trainers pep talk and him, and I feel like he should have to stop and just be like, oh, we just learned that I killed a lady and crippled my brother for life and my girlfriend

and ended her career and everything. Nobody should be nice to me for the remainder of the family. You deserve to know this. Yeah, yeah. Whereas instead, the trainer just gave him some advice. nice to me for the remainder of the family. You deserve to know this. Yeah, yeah. Whereas instead, the trainer just gives him some advice. You know, you've got two fights tonight. Don't get injured.

And don't get injured is basically the only real advice you need in MMA. If you can achieve that, you've probably won a fight. That's true. So yeah, yeah. And that's it. It is hilarious how banal the advice he gives him is. He's like, all right, so when he tries to punch you, don't let him do that.

Good luck. Sorry. Hold on. I'm just writing this down. Don't get punched, punch other guy. Okay. Sorry. I got cheat notes on my arm now.

Okay. So now the first big fight starts. He looks over right before the fight starts in the seats that are reserved for his mom and dad are empty. Why would he be there? He's sad because the family he tried to kill in a car basically didn't turn to watch him try to hurt a man hours after they found out he tried to kill their other son and successfully killed this on that don't know. And they've never been to one of his fights, right? Like that's been like the they've always not. Why does he keep reserving a secret so sad? Can you do like an amateur dance recital instead?

That would be way more fun for us to go see you do stuff. You want to do that? I feel like the person who runs the venue would stop giving in those reserves. You're right. Yeah. We've done that like five or six times now, but we could sell two tickets.

He's gonna show up. He loves me in his own way. That's why it's my name. And then yeah, so the fight starts, the trainers yell and hit him with that one, dude, and I'm like, yeah, nobody's expecting a punch punch. Do the old one fake. There you go. Yeah, there's one. So, and by the way, this guy's take down technique sucks. There is nothing that looks silly or that I failed take down an MMA, right? Cause it looks like you really want to blow him and then you change your mind. And of course, because this is a Christian movie and they can't have excessive violence, all the rounds are like nine seconds long.

Oh, yeah, yeah, they're just instantly over. So no, no wonder you didn't get into the, that's why Tank got knocked out so quickly. It's because in that gym, they all know if you don't get it in the first two seconds, they're around so we just throw everything at the wall. So yeah, but he doesn't do very good in the first round. So it goes back to his corner and the trainers like, come on, man, we are all the way into act three now. Fight better. Yeah, the trainer man, we are all the way into act three now fight better.

Yeah, the trainers advice is get into the ground. It's like, I think you've seen him fight before. I think you see his phone. You know his signature move. Fight better. God it. That's really okay. I don't know man.

What am I supposed to do? All right, select select select that help. There you go. The knife Tyson. So he. man what am I supposed to do all right select select select that help my size so he goes back out for round two but now he's been fully pep talked so he's fighting good now and the traders like that's what I'm talking about I'm like what were you so I get a fighting better and it's better and then this is so silly. They try so hard here. This is when dad shows up and sits down in the reserved seat long enough to watch Ben knock this guy out. And then he leaves immediately after. Yeah. Why? Why? Why does he leave immediately? I just

do not understand this. I think the movie inflected too early in it panicked. We're like, I haven't run back out. We need Ben to still be all mopey. There we go. He's gone. He had to pee or something. I don't know, but he showed up. And he watched eight seconds of the fight and then he ran off.

He didn't stand there chanting and screaming during practice like he does for the son. He loves or anything. Right. So Ben looks over and the seat's still empty. And so he's still all mopey. So good. I'm going to publish that still all mopey. So good. Right. That moves the plot forward, I guess.

Yeah. But he wins my knockout. So now he's got to get ready for his second fight. He's got an hour between fights. And he's like, it says to a trainer, Hey, man, I might have to leave to take care of some personal shit. And the fight, the trainer's like, fucking no. Just, just no.

Like, you got another fight in a goddamn hour. Why would you have personal shit now? Yeah, that can be done, what, in half an hour with a 15 minute drive either way, definitely not. But the way that he's trying to tell us in that is I ain't never left a soldier behind, but I will in your case. You're right.

Right. Because what do you mean leaving a soldier behind that no version of this conversation reflects or resembles it in any way, not leaving a soldier behind like that choice. Nope, that is not an analogous situation at all to what's going on now. The guy's leaving. You're not leaving him behind. No, yeah, right, right, exactly, exactly. I've let other soldiers leave, though,. I can't stop that from happening.

He just wanted to use a quote with an analogy. It's like the movie is trying to sound out a screenwriting book. Badly. It's not a strong reader. So yeah, so he calls Ashley. She doesn't take us call. And so then he drives home to yell at his parents for not being at his fight. Right. Is that what happened? He drove home between fights to yell at his dad for not having and then his dad drove home to see if he'd driven home to yell at him for not being in his fight. It's so strange because his dad comes in and says, the mom, have you seen Ben? So what do you mean you were just at the fight? You saw it. You're the one who's seen Ben.

She should be asking you that. But then it turns out Ben's already there. So he's teleported. Did he take a different route? Does he know the shortcut? Because he goes to Jim so often. How did he get there before his dad? It's, it's right.

Baffling. And to be clear Ben goes home and this is what he says he's like Life is unfair to me Luke has it so much better than me. This is Dad and mom just look at each other like him. And did you hear it? Did you hear which is You've always put him first is that you broke his back your fucking blood with the course that I'm going to write. And then he picks up Luke soccer trophy and he's like, it was always about Luke and he

breaks the fucking trophy. Yeah. And I really wanted the soccer player on top of the trophy to have a dented head. Oh, that is. Oh, that was really odd point. I'm sorry about that. But then Luke walks in and he's like, dude, you already killed my, you're breaking my childhood shit now too.

And Ben is trying to forgive himself. He's like, yeah, you know what? I screwed up and I'm like, dude, you killed one person in here. It could screwed up. Doesn't capture it. I don't think let's let go for a stronger term. He shouts, no matter how good a son I am, nothing will ever be good enough. Like you punch people for

a living, you walk around shouting at people and you killed your brothers fiancee. Like the normal matter how good a son I am. Have you tried being a good son? Have you put that maximum to the test first? Do anything good ever? Every response to him is like, do better because you're the worst once one time one time do something good just once see what it feels like and then he turns to his dad he's like and you weren't even at my fight is like actually I want he's like I don't want to hear it and then he slams the door right yeah you weren't that when I needed you the most you know the time I was punching a man in the face when he was on

the floor you were too busy being with my brother, who's recovering from the broken back I gave him. Right. Yeah, exactly. You greedy bastard. So yeah, but that was between fights because he leaves from there and he goes back to his second fight. This one will be with his rival, Venom.

Are they still doing MMA tournaments like that with multiple fights on the same day? Like you have C1. It probably if you're bad enough, yeah. Maybe locals. Yeah, I don't know. Okay. But so he goes back to fight this fight. But now since he left in the middle of the fight, the trainer is not his trainer anymore.

He left his soldier behind, I guess. So we even get it. He's like standing there looking at himself in the mirror going, it's okay, Ben, you don't need anybody in your corner. It's like, oh, in case we didn't get it. So he gets in the ring. The audience cheers for him. Once again, I feel like he should have to stop him and go, actually, I killed my brothers fiance, crippled him and ruined my girlfriend's career. I don't feel like I feel like you should know that before you cheer for me. Should I tattoo that on my face? It feels like that would be ethical. Probably. I mean,

the very least that you change is nickname to that. Yeah. That we would. It's funky, but it's honest. Yeah. Yeah. And in the blue corner, Ben killed his brothers fiance and crippled his brother. Oh, but one of his fucking son. Bernard.

Yeah. Oh, Jesus. And then, oh, God, we get these. So the fights about to start, they want to have crowd shots, but they don't have a crowd. So we get, I am not making this shit up. This happens in the movie. We get several two visible person crowd shots. Right. It's very, very dark. And we can just see light cast over two faces and one of them's holding a go Ben sign. Okay, one other sign that's in the crowd. Somebody made a big poster. They went out. They went out. They bought Oak Tag. They bought markers and they wrote and glitter fight, fight, fight. That's it. They will though they're going to. So there is another post that just says Ben is

our favorite word play. I bet somebody would have a side about how awesome I am. I'm probably in there. Oh God. All right. So him and Michael Spite starts, the choreography is so slow and turn based that you can basically count along with them, right? Elbow two, three, four, kick two, three, block. Yeah. And there's a lot of like, okay, stop.

Too hard. Too hard. We step back. No, we won't step back. No corner tracks. We said no, it's like a lot of kid rules were established off camera about this. And then once again, in case you're not entirely convinced that Ben is the fucking bad guy in this movie, when the bell rings, the ref can barely pull him off of the other guy. Yeah. He's constantly punching people after the bell goes. He's so obviously the bad guy that all we need to do is find out that his

plan, if he wins, is to tear down the gym to put up apartments and the Michael the Venom. So he wants the money to rescue orphans. That's how the narrative ought to go to be consistent with Ben's character. Yeah. So, okay, but the round ends. This is where his friend, the trader guy, in Axis plan and butters Michael, the rival up with Vaseline, so he can't be grappled. Yeah, he's at looping up his, his, his calves and his, his shins, which I had no idea what was going on, because I'm, I'm not an MMA guy. I don't know any about it.

So I thought, why, why is he looming as a opponent? Oh, that seems very strange. Yeah. I was confused. So they show like an ominous Vaseline dab on the trainer's hand for a second for like a big shot. And I was like, what? Does the movie think Vaseline is cheating like in baseball?

Like he's going to like kick a good slider now. Like, no, but it's okay. He's putting it on his legs and we're supposed to understand that now Ben can't take him down because he's got all the on slippery. Yeah, I had to actually Google it to find out that Vaseline is illegal. You've only got a lot. You don't have to put it on cuts apparently. You can't write anywhere else because, yeah, face only, right? Yeah, I have no idea completely. But it lost on me. It was fun though,

because the next round happens and we get to watch Ben try to like tackle a greased watermelon, which is funny. Right, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Oh, okay. So then that round dance, you still not doing very well.

And then round three starts, Michael, the venom, hero of the the goddamn story, right? Because he's the only one punching Ben in the face consistently. Fucking gasoline or no. But the fight ends, Michael really kind of cleans his fucking clock in the third round because you know, he's got his, his Vaseline sheet go as a punching sliders. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

But we have to go to a judge's decision. Based on what we saw, Michael very clearly won. I don't know why this was a split decision. But I don't know. Anyway, but they do ultimately declare that Michael was the winner because we're not quite done with the movie yet. So the sad music plays, even though the hero won.

Yeah, and Ben looks both like confused and crestfallen as if he didn't realize he could lose a fight in a film he's written. He's a new guy. Why did I lose? But he wrote this. And I did enjoy that this is the first time dad showed up and he noticed.

So he looks over and The first time ever and dad's like see this is why I wasn't gonna show you Everything you're the worst. You see how this back fired. I love Luke Moore. Yeah So yes, so Moby Ben goes back to the locker room after his loss and the guy that he beat in the first round of the tournament is there waiting to beat the fuck out of him. I'm like, okay, maybe this guy's the hero. Yeah. Why does he beat, he beats Ben up for Ben having beaten him up in a tournament. Right.

If Ben's already beaten you at once, he could probably do it again. Like, he's demonstrated his capable of beating you up. It's a bullsie move to then go after him again. Yeah, right. But as he's getting his ass kicked by this guy, dad runs into stop him. I love this shit because John Schneider clearly said, okay, well, I get to kick at least one guy's ass, right? Well, these characters are all like MMA fighters that have been training and are in a macleteship. He's like, okay, so one of them will probably have to suck or punch me to take me down, huh?

And they're like, yeah, fine, man. Yeah, fine. And so what ends up happening is the dad takes on two MMA fighters basically and comes out. Okay, which just sends the message that MMA fighters aren't all that. You've got to send an average middle-aged man. You can take out two MMA fighters. It totally undercuts all they can. It's that old man, you can take out two MMA fighters. It's totally undercuts all they can stand old man's strength. No, that's it. That's it. Yeah, exactly.

He's 59. So he's got all the old man's strength. Oh, God. So yeah. And so now John Schneider is laying on top of Ben and they're both getting kicked and punched and slow motion and I'm like, all right, and credits. credits? right. See the one time I do something with you, we both lose, we got beat up, you're the worst. credits. But no, Dan Ben go home, I'll beat up in shitty. There's this great moment where mom's like, oh, does it hurt?

And he's like, yeah, it fucking hurts, look at that. But yeah, so mom starts nursing, dads, cuts and bruises and shit. And then Ben gets mad, I think because she's paying more attention to dad than she's paying to him, I don't know. Yeah, I couldn't tell why he left with it, was that or whether he was meant to be getting something

for his dad. But if he was, I assume he'd gone to get something to help his dad, but then get sidetracked by things that are all about him yet again, leaving his loved ones to be harmed while he just focused on his own personal pain. Okay. Yeah, that track.

No, that makes more sense, yeah. That's what happens. He goes off. It's so stupid and like screenwriting 101, but even worse, he goes and he sees an old tape, like a home movie tape. That's basically says like Ben being loved, even though he sucks. Christmas 95 on his side. Yeah. And he watches that and he learns that maybe dad and mom actually do love me. Right. Yeah. But how did he not know those tips existed?

Did he not remember at the time the camera being around? So even Ben as a child was a fucking idiot. He never spotted that his parents kept filming him on all this stuff. And he's never seen these videos and he doesn't have these memories. Yeah. This is such a bizarre resolution too, because it means that even the weak ass insufficient reason he did have for punching his brother mid drive was just a weird misperception of a thing that didn't exist. Yeah. Yeah. And there's a there's a weird execution to this as

well, which again undercuts it because he's watching a tape that his parents have filmed of him like, you know, being in a fight and stuff. And then the tape made way through while he's watching it while he's realizing maybe they did love me after all. You hear the static sound and then it goes into like a football match. I thought right. So clearly they taped all of your fighting. For Luke. We've run out of tapes for Luke's matches. Well, just go over a bend when it's absolutely. Just mom and dad fucking and talking about how shitty that is. So, so yeah, but instead we get that we, he switches tapes and we get the video of those framed gloves that he

broke in his breaky scene earlier and his dad. How do you not remember giving those to his dad? he's like, oh, that's where those came from. You gave you made them and gave them to your dad. Did you have the traumatic brain injury? Is that what happened here? Yeah, you, there was a note in your head. Right. Well, yeah, actually.

Yeah. Yeah, but he has this weird like, wait, dad did love me moment. And then he goes out to try to find the framed gloves that he broke in the break he's seen He does find them. It's a miracle. They're right where he very fucking left him what What did he think he was breaking right? They've got such significance what do you think he was breaking time and what he says? I can't believe it. I'm like what can't you believe that's where you threw them what he says I can't believe it I'm like what can't you believe that's where you threw them away. So okay, but where the movie is almost over so Ben has to wander off and make

things right with God. So it's time for this amazing actor to give us his Oscar moment. God the director's like all right well he's real bad at regular talking. Maybe crying is the acting wheelhouse of this guy? Oh my God. No, it's not. Whoo! He's like, Jesus, please forgive me. I so wanna Jesus to show up and be like, you killed your brothers, what you were in a snit,

it was over a snit. You piece of shit. I know forgiveness is kind of my thing, but whoa. No, I need some time. In his prayer, he said to God, you know, I saw what he did to Luke. I eat take half his head. I assume. And I saw what you did for Ashley and her dancing career. So I wonder what you can do for me. It's like God has caused all of this if you believe their thing. Right. So Luke's got half a head because of God and Ashley will never walk again. And

also you never mentioned Rebecca. He did do something to Rebecca. It's not around anymore. And I think the implication of this scene is meant to be, I think, that all of this time Ben has been trying to fight God when what he should have been doing is trying to pull God to the ground and then punching the fuck out his face. And no, I would you get a touch your leg with a foreskin is what that's that's what I'll do. The trick. He actually says, why do you love me God during this moment? Uh huh. And I wanted God to just like come into the frame and be like leading the witness. I reject the purpose.

No. All right. So, but now that Ben's made it good with God, he goes into make things right with his dad. He goes, dad, I have a monologue and John Schneider's like, I'll be damned. I have a monologue, okay? It's like, oh, okay, you're okay. Sure, sure. And this is that great bit where the relationship pays off all this time. He's not been given his dad a chance and maybe his dad loves him after all

He's like and his dad's thing is basically, you know, it might seem like I don't love you But it's because I've never really liked you very much Yes, but I've never really related to you You think it's favoritism. It's not favoritism. I I just enjoy my relationship with Luke better Right He's like I know you know, I don't get you. I don't under your weird. Your weird is what it is.

You're pleasing human being. Are you are also my son. I'm doing really badly. I don't know. I don't know why I would have the speech at the end. There's also a line he says to him. He says, I don't care if you're an MMA fighter, a soccer player, or a clown. And I thought that grouping feels offensive, but I can't tell to which profession.

Yeah, but he's like, he gives him the whole, it's okay. I love you by default speech. Right. And that's a good thing to them. That's Christianity. True. Yeah. And that's a good thing to them. That's that's Christianity. True. Yeah. Yeah. Right. No, that that resolves the relationship. We're done fixing that now. I love you despite how shitty you are that I created. I'm God. And that's the religion. Yeah. Actually, that makes a lot of my concern. So, okay. So now Dad's down at the gym relating to Ben about his MMA fighting. Now, so I know that what's supposed to happen here is the relationship has been resolved and now that they love each other, etc. and are getting to know each other. But

what it, what it plays like is Dad was all in on the one son when it looked like he would have an athletic career and now that it's obvious that isn't going to happen, he just switched over to his spare. Yeah, it's why you, to. You keep one in reserve just in case. Yeah, right, right. The air and the spare. Yeah, exactly. You keep the wrapping on just in case. Yeah. So yeah. And so he's, you know, he's punching it. He's like, you know, I get to punch some more stuff before it's over. Like, yes, John Schneider, you get to punch more stuff before it's over. So we get him working the heavy bag and they're like, Hey, did you box the best? He's like, yeah, they used to call me genetically superior to everyone else. Like, what was that little

weird eugenics nickname that he had? Yeah. But it was so weird. He said, you know, they call me superior athlete. And I thought, you're now saying your superior athlete to Ben. That's what got Luke punch. So, just because I just wanted like Ben punches him, leaves him in a coma. But yeah, then his dad says, you know, call me genetics superior and it sounds super eugenic. See, like he's about to get out some calipers and start measuring craniums, which really insensitive to Luke, like, really insensitive. There's way too much connection with that. Wow, yeah.

Dad is actually saying like, oh, my boxing name would be Dave Genetic Superior Bernard. Like literally, that's the line though. Yeah, we hear that. And I was like, wow, okay, you know what? They actually found a boxing nickname worse than the favorite. My dad loves me in his own way. And then the boss comes out and he's like,

hey, I got good news. They're overturning the judge's decision because Michael cheated with all that KY jelly lather. There's gonna be a rematch and they're like, are you sure we've got time in the movie for a rematch? It just says, there's like six minutes of runtime. Wow. Also, I'm pretty sure the cheater doesn't get a do over.

No. Why would he get another fucking job? He gets to do it again. So, okay. But Luke isn't quite over Ben killing his fiance yet. So we have to go resolve that, right? He goes to his brother and he's like, hey, look, there's, there's not enough time in this movie for a whole hell of a lot in resolution.

Can you just forgive me because you're Christian? And he's like, I, if we drove to a park, maybe. Jesus. And then they go to park and fucking Luke is nice about it. He's like, oh, you have a bad day. Your girlfriend's kind of mad at you. That sounds rough. My fiance's dead. It's a-it. We're both having bad days, I guess, even. Yeah. And then they go to the bar together like he's like, Oh, you know what? I also, I found you a love interest.

She's got a lot of tattoos. Seems like she puts out. It definitely felt like he was trying to set a haircut with a bartender. It 100% felt like that. It wasn't just the only one who got that vibe from this, right? No, no. I honestly thought that the movie was actually surprised one who got that vibe from this, right? No, no.

I honestly thought that the movie was actually surprised that they didn't hit it off, right? Yeah, yeah. I like the bartender. I mean, the bet is really weird, but I like it. Right, yeah. It did. I can hold out of something.

She's a weird trophy collector, but she had some stuff going on. But yeah, but they go to the bar and he's like, hey, this is Julia. She's, we have a weird bit. I don't know if I just won or lost, but something happened there. We all throw the chips in the air now. We.

I don't know. That's it. Whatever lands in. Is that the service win? What? Yeah. But then Ashley shows up and Ashley apparently isn't talking to Ben because of all of the her best friend killing and ankle shattering that he

did. Yeah, but the way Ben reacts to actually turning up is as if she'd found him fucking the bartender over the bar. That's the way he runs this scene. Like he said, yeah, terribly embarrassing and shocked to be caught with us. You're just in a bar talking. It's fine. You don't have to react to you.

So she's like, oh, I don't want to see you. So she turns around to leave and he goes, I've changed though. I said, I'm sorry, that my driveway, you should, you should please. And then she stops and she's like, you know, okay, you know, it's time for your big moment, time for your big line, you know, like, you know, you're had me at hello moment and he goes, I want you Ashley.

And she's like, really, that's the fucking line. That's okay. It's weird, but no, it delivered it way too well, just. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Way too well. So you remember at the beginning, the music, when it was like Dawson's Creek being done by Ace of Base, but they're not native English speakers either, so they're having trouble. He manages to have like 12 different weird commas and wrong italics in, I love you Ashley or whatever the fuck the line was. It's so rough. Yeah, it's it's actually all all over the place. I jay. I want you. Yeah. Ah, it's

great because he tells that and she says she hates him. I thought, yes, yes, Ashley, I'm on your side. And credit. Yeah, exactly. Oh, okay. okay then we have to resolve the fucking barracuda the car that they've been fixing up so all right yeah no they they tie the movie together right yeah exactly it all works out the end so yeah and so apparently dad and Ben have been working on the car without Luke knowing it so that when he goes to work on a car it'll already be fixed and I'm like wait wait, isn't the fun of rebuilding a car? Rebuilding the car? Yes, exactly.

But apparently not. It's like, I bought you a puzzle and assembled it. Here you go. What? You got me a fish puzzle. I got you Spider-Man Miles Morales. It's a hundred percent. There you go.

And again, there's just a very fun little moment of how bad Ben is at rolling with what ever is happening. They finished the car. Dad goes to your high five. Ben just stands there frozen uncertain what to do. So then the dad tries to improvise moving like, ah slow and Bengals I didn't even try is that yeah You fucking eat so weird Absolutely so goddamn well in this tiny little moment. Yeah, exactly. Oh, it takes a lot for me to feel sorry for John Schneider

But in that moment who God, it's like an empty template for a bad movie. That's what we're watching. Right, but worse because they filled some of it in with shitty stupid movie parts. Yeah, I got you this template for a movie, but I've completed some of it.

Yeah. Hahaha. I also published it. You it's done. Yeah, you can. All right. So now we got Ben getting ready for his final fight Ashley shows up She's like, oh, you know what the movie is almost over. I have to forgive you and I was like you do Awesome. She's like maybe he's changed from his violent ways. I'll go and check if that's true by watching him

Do an MMA fight? Yeah, I'll tell me if he's learned to control his violence all right So now we get the big bite because you know,, he got caught cheating. So it's time for the rematch. We get a little Christian rock rocking out. Ben is so serious about this fight that he walks in slow motion style. Okay. The movie was supposed to be about the actor playing Ben who is actually Luke in real life, but the movie is about Ben winning a fight. It's not about Luke anymore. Right, right. And Ben is not even a person that exists in the real world. That's how based on a true story. This is he accidentally rode himself out of his own so all right. So it's time for the fight with Michael. Now I love the way this fight goes because he he clearly he knows that the bad guy, he doesn't know he's the bad guy of the movie,

right? He thinks the rival is so he knows that the bad guy should cheat, but they overdo it. So like the entire fight, this guy's like gouging his eyes, kicking him in the nuts, ripping out his fingernails, fucking blackmailing him. It's just it's insane. finger nails, fucking blackmailing him, it's just insane. I really wanted Venom to just get disqualified and that was like the climax of the film. But you're out then, when you win by default. The end. Yeah, it's like a relationship with your dad. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, but maybe he would have if the rounds were longer than 18 goddamn seconds. So yeah, so we finish up round one, we go out for round two immediately, kicks him in the nuts, and which I love because I love watching this character get kicked in the nuts.

He really needs to get kicked in the nuts a lot. But he's not biting very good dammit. He needs a pep talk from dad. Who knows, absolutely, even in the world, the universe of this movie knows absolutely nothing about MMA. That's correct. That's true. And dad says, you can do this. And that's my time. Yeah, yeah.

He's like, I would give you a longer speech, but there's 90 seconds left in this goddamn movie. So yeah, you can do it. He's like, I can do it. So they go out for around three, and he's bobbin' and he's weaving, and he's a totally different fighter now. Oh, and of course, we have to have Luke do something

during this fight. So once Michael gets on top of him and starts grounded and pounding, Luke starts the favorite, favorite chant just so that we can be reminded how stupid his nickname is. It's such a big name and chant because it's like not exactly the right amount of things for it. Yeah, that's the second syllable just gets thrown away every time. Favorite.

Yeah. I feel like everybody should be chanting okay, but still you killed a woman. Yeah, right. But still you killed a woman, even if you win, you killed a lady very recently. You're a father man. Slotra man. Yeah. Right.

But yeah, but now he's getting beat up in the crowd's chant. His name is having earlier in the movie flashbacks. and that's what it's going to take to get him done, you know, reverse this situation and get his submission. So the crowd goes wild. And the end of this fight, you'd have thought you end with a knockout, you end with something dramatic and their dramatic ending is an arm lock where it literally ends with them lying down and then not moving for a bit. Right. Until it's done.

Yeah. It ends with two hard, two hard, stop. Exactly. I know that's like really how it can happen in MMA, but still, yeah, you use a knockout here. It's a fucking movie. Yeah, exactly. Right, exactly.

But yeah, but that's it. The crowd goes wild. He wins the fight and hooray hooray. The movie's over, but they still have to admit for some reason how not remotely based on a true story this whole thing was. Yes, it's based on true story in that most the characters didn't exist and the ones who did exist when nothing like it and none of this happened to them in this kind of way. Yes, right. There was a car accident, but Luke Benjamin Bernard, who's one guy and doesn't have, well,

I guess he does have a brother, he's like one of eight children, but doesn't have a brother to lose. He's got like three brothers. You're fucking those guys. Right. Yeah, exactly. But that guy was in an accident by himself and had injuries similar to the character in this movie.

That is the extent to which it is based on a true fucking story. That's correct. And so he was alone in the car and he wrote this film so we can comfortably summarize that he punched himself so hard that he crashed. Then they show this doctor, right? Now clearly they've told this doctor that they will give him some number of dollars if he uses the word miracle. Yes. And the contract doesn't stipulate where in the sentence he says miracles. Right. He's very clear on that.

Yeah, he throws like nine different qualities. And when you think about it, you would be tempted to use the word colloquially. The doctor cou just so much that the word miraculous is in a different area called to the start of the sentence. Right. Yeah, exactly. He even says he's like, well, yeah, it's, you know, I can count the number of people I've seen heel from an injury this serious on one hand. And I'm like, so it's more than one.

Also, you know what I enjoy in a sandwich miracle whip. I'm done. And I look this up. I actually looked up because they say you had a Glasgow or Korma score of three and you know, you can count the number of people who recover from that on one hand. And so I actually looked up the mortality rate for his diagnosis of like the the dilated pupils and stuff. 80% of people will die. So there was a 20% chance of recovery. But one of the other things that's a factor in recovery is the age of the person involved, the younger the better. So he's already at the young grand of the scale, so higher than that chance of recovery. So it was

better than a one in five chance. That's not a miracle. Not miracle. No, that's more likely than a dice roll. Better than rolling a one. Yeah, exactly. Well, and then keep in mind, there's four movies they didn't make about people who just died. Right? Exactly. Jesus fucking Chris. But then we close on video of the real Luke Benjamin Bernard at the National Day of Prayer.

Basically next to Mike Lindell at some of that. Yes. And even there he's going like, I was miraculously healed by God. Now I know a lot of you guys prayed for stuff that you didn't get anyway. So I was, but I was fine. I'm fine. That's what matters. I'm fine. And I wrote this entire film within a month of recovery from a traumatic brain injury. Can you believe that? Yes. Yes. So I'm very much. Reads. Can I give you a note? Two months. Try two months. With the opposite of a humble brag.

An arrogant looks stupid by accident. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's what we closed on. And that's it. And that's all. And that's going to do it for a review of the favorite, but it's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we still need to beat our heads against this wall again next week. So he tell us what's on deck. We got full court miracle. Oh, three sports, thing movies. It'll grow wonderful. Reme, all right. So with that, we look forward to we're going to bring episode three, twenty, seven to one, first of all, close once again, a huge thanks to Mars

for hanging out with us today. Be sure to check the show notes for links to all the other stuff he does and perhaps even huge thanks to all the page randoms that helped make the show go. If they got yourself among their ranks, you can go per episode donation to patreon.com slash god awful

and thereby earn early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help it on by the link of five star review and by sharing the show in all your various social media platforms. If you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows,

the skating a deacitation needed D&D minus and the skeptic your various social media platforms. If you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the Skating Aids, the Ascitation Aids, D&D, and D&D Minus, and the Skeptocrat, available wherever podcast live. If you have questions, comments, or suggestions, you can email God off from www.movecgmail.com. Legal services for this podcast provided by the law, if this is a P. Android Tourist, Tim Robertson, handles our social media. Our theme song was written in performed by Ryan Slotney, who was dressed on Mars and all other music was written in performed by our audience and your Morgan Clark.

And we'll see you in the next video. Thanks again for giving us your time and your life this week for Heathen, right, Neely Live, Oz, and the common old Lucian's promise to work hard and earn another check next week until then for giving us your time in your life this week. For Heathen, write in the live, I'm No Illusion's Promise to Word Hard, and I'll turn another check next week until then. We'll leave you with the breakfast club clothes. Princess Diana's family didn't pray enough. Now, neither did Vin Diesel. When it comes down to it.

Family. Ben went on to have still murdered somebody and ruined his brother's life. When? An estimated mistake. went on to have still murdered somebody and ruined his brother's life. Pffft, that needs to be restitled. Luke Benjamin Benad went on to release a 9-11 themed commemorative workout regime. So, you know, a personal growth. That's appropriate. So I went to Ground Zero today. I did 9, 11, 11 pushups and 9 situps and the Patriots. Yeah, it's never forget leg day.

It's what it is. the Patriot. Yeah, it's never forget leg day. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and the Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2021 all rights reserved.