God Awful Movies - 335: Prayer Never Fails

Episode Date: January 18, 2022

This week, Cara Santa Maria joins us for an atheist review of Prayer Never Fails, the story of ... prayer repeatedly failing. Both on screen and off. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Check out more from Cara on the Talk Nerdy podcast

This is what Michael's like, you know what? I'm gonna Google how to win court stuff right now. We're doing this. This scene literally ends with his lawyer going, oh I'm googling it. If you are ever talking, hey, free legal advice from a podcast. If you're ever talking to a lawyer and they go, I'm gonna Google it. You are fucked. You're fucked.

Do you know that? You're fucked. Yeah, it's true. It's true. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be I'm so happy. Are you? I am. Yes. Oh God. We are burdened with glory. It's purpose with this one. And we also have veteran maskist and Elon Musk's favorite scientist. Carousen Maria. Kara is doge headed to the moon. What's going on with that? No comment. Die heard, yes, yes it is, so care. What are we gonna be breaking down today? Okay, so we watched Prayer Never Fails.

It's the story of a mouth-breathing basketball coach who loves Jesus. His gambling addict lawyer who also loves Jesus, the lawyer's long lost twin sister who owns an antique shop and may or may not be murdered by a bookie come to collect. Oh, an abusive judge. Yeah, not the judge of the attempted courtroom drama just some other random judge.

No, not the one, yeah. A different judge who owns three books, a lawyer who has actually read case law and hates losing and is really good at negotiations. A principal who misallocates funds, you have to just take our word for that. Oh, and a woman who is addicted to plastic surgery, who's dying of cancer, who let her 10 year old son take a murder rap for what would clearly have been a self-defense case.

Is that it? Am I missing anything? Was there any other plot in this movie? That is, I think, accurate. I didn't really watch it that closely, but I'm pretty sure all that either happens or they claim it happened Yeah, right? Mm-hmm. That should just be the log line for the Alright, so this has been fun. Let's wrap it up. Square on it man

Also Jesus or something alright Eli. How bad was this movie so fucking bad Look yeah listen stop dropping roll. We watch bad movies on this podcast. I get it. Kevin Sorboe. He's a bad actor. Every single person involved with this movie is a non-composmentist level crazy person. And the fact that Heath and Cara had to watch it will keep me young for another 10,000 years. I am like, no, sferatu. I am alive now. I don't like what your living is based on.

All right. That does track though. All right. Is there anything y'all would like to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Yeah. I mean, best worst movie. I can't just say that, right?

This is the best worst movie. Oh mean, I can just say that, right? This is the best worst movie. Oh, it's up there. Okay. It's up there. If I could part the curtain a little bit podcast listener one, so you can understand just how funny care is. Cara watches these movies 46 seconds before the record.

He and I, we lock ourselves in a soundproof dome. It takes 12 hours and three monasteries. I watch it over a couple of days. I watch Kara type her notes as I'm writing the ads morning up. And today I got to watch Kara slowly descend into madness and hatred. She was muttering my name to the God of death

in the last period of her notes. It's that bad, you guys. It's that bad. This is all true. You had YouTube going at like 12 times speed and somehow watching this movie. It's impressive. Wow.

All right. I'm gonna go with best worst montages. Yeah. No. Are those really, yeah, I guess they work technically months. Technically, yeah. Well, I think that's a good point.

The movie doesn't really know what montage means, but they know of the word montage and they know it's a movie thing. So they try to do it a few times, but two of the montages, one of them is literally right at the beginning of the movie, a guy parks. Yep. And that's it. That's a montage. They think that's a montage. And later in the movie, the same guy walks from his apartment to his driveway, gets in a vehicle, and that's a montage. That's it. Yep.

And they do music that makes no sense. Yeah. Oh, the music. Oh, God. No, they hit someone's iPod on shuffle and that was the music for this film. And I'm going to go with best worst reveal. Now Cara teased this ever so slightly, but truly I I have paused quite a few of our movies just to laugh. I have not paused the movie to laugh gone upstairs to put my toddler

to bed have to interrupt Lullaby's and story books because I'm randomly laughing and he doesn't know why. And then come back downstairs and still be laughing level of laughs. That's what I did when the reveal of this movie drops so arbitrarily. Is this the by reveal you mean the unceiling? I mean the unceiling. Oh yeah, that's what I thought. It's so good. Yeah, the movie sealed something and then they unseal it for us right there at the end in a middle of the trial that they do. All right, I think we're going to take a quick break and leave you on that unsealing cliffhanger. And then we'll be back to talk about whatever this was. Seriously, Eli, big bootyotylickers.com.

Do you wanna help me or not? Hey guys, what you're doing there? Well, I'm helping Eli cancel his old subscriptions. Oh, that's nice of you. Yeah, it would be except to use my credit card to sign up for like more than half of these. They were free trials, plus Noah and Heath took my credit card away. So I had a did take it away

There was a mango nectar incident. You know all purchasing saves money. Heath. I'm not having this fight again Oh, okay, this one is wiki pedea good for you. Nope. Nope. Sorry. That's wiki feet. There it is Hey those guys work hard too. Don't cancel that one guys if you want an easy and fast way to review your old subscriptions Why don't you just try True Bill? What's True Bill? True Bill is the new app that helps you identify and stop paying for subscriptions that you don't need, don't want, or simply forgot about. And it'll save me money?

It sure will. On average, people save up to $720 a year with True Bill. Because companies make subscriptions hard to cancel, True Bill makes it incredibly simple. Just link your accounts and true bill will cancel your unwanted subscriptions in one tap. So I wouldn't ever have had to log on to aoc's feet.com. That is correct. Yes, she's an important lawmaker. Don't fall for subscription scams. Start canceling today at true bill.com slash awful movies go right now true bill dot com slash awful movies it could save you thousands a year that's true bill dot com slash awful movies thanks he's now if only they were an app to

get these websites out of my memory no yeah I get it we share an email I'm white noise actually helps oh thanks I'll try that. Should wear sandals a lot. Stop it. Stop it. Don't, okay. I really feel like we should slide pieces of paper. I'm telling you, man, that's gonna be weird. Hey, guys, you ready to record? Yes, yes. Just real quick before we do.

So you know by now that Noah has COVID this week. Yeah, how's he doing? He's better. He's better. But you can never be too sure about this kind. Yeah, how's he doing? He's better. He's better. But you can never be too sure about this kind of thing, which is why we want to ask if you might be interested in being the new Noah. Ta-da! Oh, wow, like hosting the shows? No, no, no. If anything happens to Noah, our brand will collapse in on itself like a poorly timed souffle. Just real bad. Yeah, it's called a scathing atheist, not the scathing atheist and is too equally likable friends were very charming. No, it's not. We're talking

about you becoming Noah. Yeah, you got the long hair. You're the prettiest. What? Oops, would we say Noah's the prettiest? Oh yeah. Long shot. Sure. Okay. No, that's it. I always thought I had, you know, like a certain horse-lin beauty is what. That's a lot of you. Yes. Yes. I'm not going to assume Noah's identity. You said he's healing fine. I'm sure he appreciates all the nice messages and emails. This all seems a little bit, I don't know, premature. Okay, well, maybe, Cara, but you can never be too careful. Just one other thing.

Last question. Do you accept payments in hot pockets? No. See, I know we should have slid pieces of paper. That's going to complicate things. And we're back. And we're going to start with a cold open on a black man getting violently arrested.

Good start the movie. Yeah. This will not be pertinent to the plot, by the way. I have a feeling that the movie makers were just like, get him. Okay. I think it's just at first I was like, oh, this is real footage of their only black actor trying to arrive on the set. That's a, we also get the credits here and we got all the fucking hits here.

We got Corbin Benson. We got Lorenzo Lama's. We got Eric reference. Yep. Yeah. I was so confused that you guys know who all those people are. Come on. This is, but this is your life.

Yeah. LA law Corbin Benson. No. Classic. Give it a few more years, Cara. You'll see Corbin Benson on the street and you'll be like, oh my gosh. So exciting. Yeah, A.D.S cocaine is a gateway drug to Christianity and Christianity acting. We've learned that for sure. Okay, well, that was a fun, called open. And now we're gonna watch a guy do a weepy reading of the Bible. Okay, in

the dark. I think it's important that we talk about the main character's physical appearance now. Yes, because we're gonna reference it all on. Yeah, so I have him down as Petruly Oil Rep. In most of my notes, he looks like every guy Cara has swiped left on in the last five years. If a man could offer to teach you to surf an ocean of patchouli oil, it would be this man. If making your dick pick an NFT so that you can't send it to the cops, we're a human. It would be this human.

He looks like he traded his visitation rights for a hat and everyone agrees it was a good idea. I agree with that too. We definitely, it's weird because he's supposed to be like this super Christy devout, just a young person who just has dedicated his life to the Lord, but it's like he drew his inspiration from the basketball diaries. Yep. Like he was like, I really, really want to be Leonardo DiCaprio on heroin. Yep. And that's his whole thing. And he's always really sweaty.

So sweaty. Every shot, every tank, no matter where he is, he's drunk. The rock-dwayne Johnson would hand this guy a towel and be like, hey, you're a little moist on camera. Yeah. This is also early on. This is where we discover that the people who made this movie don't know how to make movies.

Mm-hmm. So, so none of the scenes are color corrected. So, you'll have like one shot and then the reverse shot will be like 10 shades darker. Mm-hmm. And they never white balance anything and it's a mess. Yeah. It's like a home movie. I think I'm just blind to that now. So we see this guy doing the weird weepy Bible reading. We should also mention for a second

there during the cold open, we see the black guy got arrested in a jail cell. Oh, right. And this guy that we're looking at now says something to him through the door of that jail cell. This is going to come back and be very important tying these characters back together. Not really, but yeah. Okay, it happens. It happens. We're also introduced to the idea that the black guy is an evil atheist because he's in

the jail cell and he's like, I would like to mention the problem. We, you know what? Let's just all list our religions. I'm the atheist. What are you? Christian cool done with cold open. And that's who we're meeting now. It turns out he's a basketball coach.

He's arriving at school here. And it also turns out the black guy is not an atheist, but they lead you to believe that early on. Right. Yeah. He's an agnostic. No, he's pretty fucking Christian. He gets pretty Christian. But yeah, what he an agnostic. No, he's pretty fucking Christian. He gets pretty Christian, but yeah,

what what he actually is is But they shoot for the atheist agnostic thing. They are they're they want to pull one over on you with Confusions. They do that a lot in this movie. They're like there's a lot of backstory here that we're gonna reference But never actually give to you. Yeah, exactly So heroin leo de caprio arrives at school to be a basketball coach. He pulls into his dedicated spot in his dukadi motorcycle that he has from being a high school basketball coach. And the music, it was doing like bucolic strings because we were watching the fun background of him him driving and then it goes to like

Techno wrap like aggressive beat techno rap here like mm-hmm There's certain something important is happening, but it's It's not I'm watching a guy Just park and walk that's it We should also point out that all the rap in this movie will be Christian rap So if you actually listen to the lyrics, it'll be like, yo, the Lord and my savior is Jesus Christ. I'm very clearly a white man in his mid 40s. Jesus loved him, which is good because all of the characters are also very clear. They're men in their mid 40s. Yeah, that describes the high school kids we're about to make too.

As is this high school kids. And he does this great thing. So he's he's coaching them. One of his lines here is you got to know when to take it hard to the hole and I wrote in my notes the Eli boss next story. But he does this thing at the end, which I think sports do, which is we fight, we fight, we fight, we fight, we fight, we fight. No, that's not, it's not how sports do it. I don't think except he does it as aisner exercise, right? Like from an acting class, he's like, we fight and they're like, we fight. He's like, we fight. He's not sure that they fight. He really means it.

And then do you notice at the end of we fight, we fight, we fight, we fight. They all go, oh, man, you know, just to make sure you know it's Christian. Yeah. But I have a thing. It's like a mesiphonia. Like it hurts my brain when I hear Americans say all men instead of amen Is that just me? Like it's like it's like Americans going. Oh, just put it in that vase

It's like it's a fucking vase. Don't say Sharad. You're being weird exactly. It's amen amen. It's your mozzarella if you will It's a man, a man, it's your mozzarella, if you will. Yeah. What was that? Heat some mozzarella guy. Just say no, Cara. That's absolutely not. That's what he said. Say it.

Say it. Heath. I would, I would say Maz before I would say that. Absolutely not. No, I bet you and fast the furious hitting a button and mozzarella cheese propels your car forward. Eli, the inside of your brain must be the weirdest. Yeah, it's pretty dark in here.

It's no wiki feet. When you first said Bicevonia, I thought you were going to say, I'm like a sensitive to hearing Christian people say Christian things. That's true, that too. That's a condition too. It's the struggles real us too. But yeah, so this is a coach doing a little bit of Christian stuff with his public school basketball team.

So, atheism is going to persecute the shit out of these characters, cue the next scene. It's the next day at school, and coach is, well, he's having trouble with the vending machine and the teacher's lounge, which I actually found fun. But yeah, he gets cornered by one of his players who wants to tell him that he's got some issues with his dad. And by the way, they picked the oldest looking high schooler. Yeah. They could possibly, like, he's really good at growing facial hair this kid. We don't talk about Bruno because he goes to this high school. And it's like, it's such a non-story. Like, like this kid's like, my dad is violent.

He's a judge. He's violent. He beats me and he's like, and then the coach is like, ugh, something I'm referencing in my mind that I'm not going to let anybody be privy to. And then we don't care about this until like the end of the movie for some reason. Nope. Just barely at the end. They forget about this whole plot and then like, yeah, we should probably, because they do, yeah, they do a non montage at the end to clear up this loose end. It's so dumb. They come back to this plot point, like a husband who's forgotten

an anniversary gets a gift, right? Just like, oh, yeah, I always meant to get you grocery store flowers. Just blade plug in. There you go. Nailed it. Yeah. So we actually meet the dad here.

They cut away from the kid talking to the coach about his dad who's sick. And now we learn what that actually means. They're having a father, son chat chat, and this is Lorenzo Lamis. Oh, this is like a person. Well, Lorenzo Lamis, Christian movie actor. I know the name, but I didn't recognize him. He's been in, I'm going to say five movies we've done so far. Yeah. Wow. But yeah, so the dad has some very strange questions for his son. The first is how school I wrote in my notes.

Also, why are you 40? Sure. Then he asks him if he's fucking anybody guy or girl. He's one of those abusive woke judges here so much about. And then the kid replies like, you don't know anything about man. They instantly start to like do the abusive dad hitting him.

Yeah, the movie realizes he hasn't done anything evil yet. So they have him do like evil sips of whiskey here. And then the kid explains he's like, you, your mom calls people crying all the time. So we're supposed to believe that yes, he's abusive to the whole family, I guess. And I think we're also supposed to believe that dad is an atheist and he's woke. Yes. Like he is the boogie man in this movie, except that they forget to write him in. Yeah, they do.

They do lose track of him as well as several other characters. So he finishes this story and then Bruno, the 45 year old high school student, he like lifts up his shirt. He's hurt, by the way. You're calling him Bruno because of the face, the facial hair. Yeah, I'm calling him Bruno because he looks like Bruno from my contact. Sure. He lifts up his shirt and he's got this big bruise and the coach is like, did he do that

to you? And he's like, no, I tripped. But he just finished telling the story. So he was like, yes, I went to my dad and we got in a big, yelling fight. Here is the bruise. And he was like, oh, I went to my dad and we got in a big, yelling fight. Here is the Bruce and he was like, Oh, that's unrelated. Yep, unrelated. Unrelated Bruce. But the response is terrifying here.

This basketball coach is like, yeah, I, uh, I coach a sports ball thing. So I'm going to give you advice and not refer a professional about what I just heard here. Which is against the law because he's a mandated reporter as I would hope so. Okay. I mean, if he's a teacher at a public school, oh, absolutely, he's a mandated reporter as I would hope so if he's a teacher at a public Oh, absolutely. He's a mandated reporter good. Yeah, but I feel like the Christian audience isn't sold on don't hit your kids And so the movie is actually it's been there Really also clearly this kid is over 18 Yeah, like that that that complicates things legally a little bit to be fair. You just got in a fight with a guy.

Exactly. Right. Well, mandatory reporting is a violation of religious freedom. And that's kind of the theme of the movie here. Uh-huh. The coach says he's like, okay, well, you know, beatings happen part of the Bible. But uh, here's what you do. You got to pray to check if this was a good beating or a bad one.

I'll help you with praying. That's what's happening here. But Christian movie bingo, Kirk doesn't know how to pray. Yep. So we cut to the basketball coach teaching, Kurt, you need to be taught how to wish for stuff, I guess. And then from there, we see him praying for a second. And then we cut to a meeting with Kurt, Kurt's dad, Lorenzo Lamis, the principal and coach Paul, his

name's Aiden Paul, they're all at a meeting. Dad heard about the illegal praying. So there's a big complaint now. Okay, but I want to be this very, very clear. Dad opens with, if I find out you laid a hand on him and coaches response, sweaty coach, patchouly coach, his response to, did you molest my child is real quote, dude, are you serious right now? Okay. In fairness, though, the way this happened was crazy in terms of the order of the words. the dad is like, you're a pervert who laid hands on my son, and the coach is like, dude, what? And then he finishes the dad's like,

while praying is what I meant. Oh yeah, it was really weird. I was like, what's happening? Dude, phrasing, just, you know, get that a little bit better. Yeah. You put your sack, cremented my son's mouth,

and I'll say it would bless it. Okay, but that was, you heard how that was even better than your first thing, right? Because it was faster to get to the thing. I love too that the dad was like, I need to make sure everybody really knows that I'm an atheist here. And I'm like on team dad all the way during this scene, because he's making really good points about how prayer in school is illegal. Yeah.

But he does say at one point, God does not exist and no so-called coach is going to change that fact. Does he know what so-called meme? No. Nope. Just a fancy. Like he is the coach. Like that is your child's basketball.

And no alleged brown haired man. Okay. But yeah, he announces to the room that they have a school policy against Sprint. How would you even enforce that? Just like high-fiving is like praying with either side of the hands. You can't stop doing that right now. But yeah, a coach ends up wrestling around with Judge Dad. Literally wrestling around with Judge Dad and so principal fires him.

He's like, get on out of here now. Get on out of here. Okay. The dad was about to start punching the son literally in this office and the coach kind of just like steps in because he's literally standing in between him. And he's like, don't abuse a child right now. Stop being violent. And the principal's like, you're fired.

You're fired for being a Christian and trying to stop that. And that's the plot of the movie. Sure. Yes. Really believable. So he said motorcycle montages and guy who caught him praying walks into the basketball room and he's like, Hey, sorry, kids, uh,

coaches aren't going to make it today. And these kids tear their shirts and weep like an old testament window. But they can't think of anything to say. So the entire scene is just the sound of individual lockers slamming over and over and over. They're all just doing locker room space work as best they can. They're terrified and they're not good at it. And they also have that like Napoleon Dynamite kind of like when they're like, coaches fired, he's not coming back. So I'm going to have to coach you guys tonight. They're like,

go. Yeah. There's a real gov vibe to this locker room. And then at the end of the scene here, this is going to be very important. Lawyer guy, the one who we saw getting arrested earlier. He has a message on his phone that's like, Hey, call me back. We need you to have something from you that will be revealed later. You were an atheist lawyer earlier, were you not? I don't know why I'm saying this on T. Is this an answering machine? Do you have a physical answering?

Do you not have a cell phone? What year is this? You're a lawyer. I want my money, though, is the important part. This guy is calling him to collect some money. So evenly, this lawyer, typically a theastowing money all over town, he has debts. But again, he's not an atheist like to be clear. Nothing about this character is atheist. In the description of the movie, I'm like, dove and whatever they describe him as an agnostic lawyer who teams up with a Christian basketball coach. Yeah, yeah, which makes no sense because, I mean, we'll get there. But when the guys like, I want to lawsuit, I want to, the guys like, okay, yes,

let's sue them about school prayer. I'm on board. Everything you're saying makes sense to me. I love Jesus. Like, this is how the conversation goes. Oh, but that's because he's an atheist sellout. He's an evil lover. He's going to compromise his principles for money. No, you're just adding layers that don't exist. I'm doing the back end. Trying to help you guys. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm so excited about the next scene. Yeah. All right. I guess we're going to just keep talking about each scene. We're going to go to the next one.

So the next day, evil atheist lawyer is hanging out with, we don't know yet. This is his twin sister, but it seems to be a lady friend in there. No, it seems like they're straight up boning. It's not. Yeah, it does. They're like, very flirty. It turns out, I didn't realize at the time, it makes it actually even more problematic. They're very flirty.

They turn out to be brother and sister, but they're talking about literally weather and church. It was so long. I hated so much of this. Oh, I love this scene. It's amazing because the way that they introduced that their twins is so fucking round about. She goes, when was the last time we had weather like this? I knew it.

No. It was when I found out that you were my twin. She doesn't even say that. She goes, it's when I found out I have a twin. And then we had to wait for him to later be like, I am your twin. Yes, exactly. Oh, I think my favorite, though of this whole scene,

is when there's like a whole weird thing about money and Basically, she's like how you do in twin brother? You okay? You need any money and he's like I actually do it. She's like I'm not giving you any fucking money But she gets really mad at him for asking for money even though she set him up to like spike that down Yeah, she says do you need money? And he's like I could could use a load. And she says, I don't put icing on my cornbread, which by the way, is my new catchphrase. That is fantastic. I'm absolutely saying that too. Can anybody explain how that translates to, I will not give you money. It means you only come inside. What? That's what it means now when I use it. That's your okay.

You're gonna be a sexual saying for you. Ethan, I just like lost our breath for- We're both like, wait, what? I think that's important. You're talking with someone, right? You're doing like, will won't want lists. And you're like, just so you know, I don't put- I don't put an ice cream in cornbread.

But all that being said, how does I don't put icing on cornbread literally translate to? I will not give you money. I'm very confused. Oh, I think she's saying that like, I'm giving you cornbread already. I'm not icing it too. Oh, like I already gave you so much money. Yeah. Oh, I'm not coming inside you. Eli, what were you saying? What you just made that up right now. He just moved onto just this not. Does this whole movie not feel like an SNL sketch where like the movie is really dramatic and in no way matches the tone of the scene itself?

Yeah, like an Andy Sandberg, like one of those like funny sketches where it's like really intense, but actually nothing's happening. Yeah, it's it is as though the music of the movie is hoping they'll take it serious. Yes, yes. So they just keep turning it up. Like the actors aren't selling it enough, so they just turn the music up a little louder. Right. Something will come out of them. They try to add some stakes here too with the the loan she took out. So he's handling some kind of case for her that we never learn about. I know. Until the very end. So for a while, it's just the random case that he's doing for his lady friend. We learn about it at the end. Yeah. Yeah. For it doesn't

help with anything, but yes, they tied off. I don't remember that. So he's handling case for and she says, I took out a loan against my house to pay for this lawsuit that I'm paying you for. And she also says the bank is going to take my house back if I don't pay them $10,400 and she wrote that down on a piece of paper, the number $10,400, I guess, and hands it to him. And he's like, oh, you handed me the paper. Are you wrote that down? Okay. Okay. Got it. Stakes of movie colon $10,400. Okay. Cool. Cool. Except not like that's thing like they they spell it out so explicitly. And then Is that the stakes of them? Like no, no, that plot line gets so lost.

No, the stakes are moving around like some kind of cartoon mole No, the stakes are moving around like some kind of cartoon mole art In this movie, but they will be the stakes for the next I would say six or seven seconds and that's important Sure, yeah, and of course they end with in Jesus's name I believe you will win this case for me and they move on So we come back to the fired coach here and he's been, I guess he's been doing the weepie motorcycle montage for like 36 hours. Yeah, it's like in the back right?

Yeah. And he's finally at a gas. He's pulling up next to a gas station and he's so stupid. He sees on like a telephone polar like a transformer box or something on the side of this gas station, a sign, a little poster for a lawyer. He's like, what? I must have blinked. Like I think I blinked when they showed that scene

for half a second, because when I opened my eyes, all I saw was this really weird scene where he's like, it's a really tight shot of his face. He's in his motorcycle helmet, and his eyes are just darting around, but they're on him for like 19 seconds. Yeah. Just looking around in weird and I'm like, I have no idea what's happening in this scene. He's scanning for really good lawyers. They find one. Yeah. Okay. He finds one on a little poster with like tear off pieces of

paper with the little frayed bottom. That's how you get the best lawyer. Best lawyer in town on a telephone pole. So he's going to eventually meet this lawyer and team up. So now we cut over to a diner where, okay, so let me clarify something for the listening audience to make so they don't have to go through the pain we went through. The lawyer is $100,000 in debt to a bookie, right? So in order to try to win that money back, he is now asking the waitress at this diner to place bets for him.

But to be fair, we don't know that yet. We do not know that. And it is not made clear by this scene. As far as what we can tell, a guy walks over asks him for basketball predictions. He gives them. And then the waitress book comes over and he asks her for basketball predictions, he gives them. And then the waitress becomes over and he asks her for basketball predictions. And then the actual only person in the diner who knows anything about basketball, the coach, gives him like a really intense rundown of why all his predictions are wrong. But the lawyer doesn't do anything about it. He's like, Oh, okay, that sounds like you know what you're talking about. I will ignore everything. Yeah. His bets went in too late. I thought this was kind of natural though. I mean, I've

worked in a bunch of restaurants where there's usually some kind of low level bookie in some back of the house position. And then there's front of the house people running bets back and forth sometimes. This is just like totally there's drugs. There's pot happening. And there's this. And I like he that you said, this is weird. What is happening because I don't know if you can see in my notes. I wrote what is happening probably 500 times. Yeah.

If you find for on carous notes, it's just all what is happening. So they wrap up that ridiculous diner scene. And now coach Paul is meeting with his assistant coach Ray. Who is the guy who saw him doing that prayer earlier in the movie? Okay. This scene is so fucking amazing because Ray, Ray is one of those fat guys. I don't know if you've seen this podcast, let's turn it.

It's one of my favorite phenomenon. If you are bald and fat at a certain point, the back of your head gets a tummy, right? The back of your head gets it. The back of your head. You get a second, you get the thing on the back part. Yeah. You know how pugs look like sandwich bread? Exactly. Yes. That is, he is the human version of a very wrinkly pug. Wait, but who are we talking about? Who's pugugman? Assistant Coach. Oh, yeah, for sure he is. Who caught him praying?

He's like, hey man, it was me, I turned you in, but I want you to have this to make up for it. And I was like, oh, it's like giving him a check. Nope, it is another school that is hiring. It's so weird too, it's like in an envelope. Like he wrote down on a piece of paper or something, like this school is hiring, maybe try and get a job there. Yeah, right. It's a weird, on an envelope. Like he wrote down on a piece of paper or something like this school is hiring maybe try and get a job there. Yeah, right. It's a weird on an envelope. Right. I think

the idea is that this assistant coach like knocked him out to get the sweet gig as head coach of the high school basketball team. Yeah, nobody cares. Buy a do Coddy for himself. I don't know. It's weird. And from here, we also get a cross cut thing with the coach and also the atheist lawyer. They're both having sad alone time later that night. Okay. Oh my God. I want to talk about this montage because this montage exists

so that we could give Petuli oil seven chances to try to cry. Yeah. Yes. He manages squinting his face up real hard. Real hard. He squeezed his eyes as hard as he can Thinking that's what on screen crying is he might as well mouth cry cry cry

Cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry All right, so suddenly there's a knock on the door and it's his entire Basketball team they're here to see him. Oh, and he's sweating so hard. Yeah, I wrote my notes. Hey, coach, were you trying to cry so hard? You're now super sweaty. Have you guys noticed at this point? Because I've probably written it at least 10 times

when I haven't brought it up yet, that his mouth breathing. He's just like slack-jawed in every scene. Because he has no expression on his face. And in every scene, he's just going, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's got the wake apnea for sure.

It's really, really making me uncomfortable. Now, the knowledge that this actor died six months after this movie would made does make a lot of that makes sense, except he died in a car crash. So then it comes right back. You just, you just really floored everybody because we had not given that away. Yeah. It's important. It's a real thing that happened.

Yeah, it's also not a plot point like he actually sadly died and not six months after the movie came out, I think before the movie was released. Oh, it was that six months after filming. Yeah, because they dedicated the movie to him in the movie. Can I say something weird? Because I almost pointed this out in the scene with the sister. The sister's subplot is that her son died in a three car crash and she was suing to try and get some kind of compensation.

Wait, what? Yeah, told us that. Yes. I think, do you think they put that into mirror reality? No. Oh, no. That's so weird. No, he died after filming.

There's no way they were like, you know what a great tribute to him would be? Is it like put that is, is tragic death? I feel like that is what they would do. It's possible. But yeah, then he died in a three car crash. That's weird. Classic. His brand never fails.

Got him. Anyways, the kids are there. They want him to do a lawsuit, but he's not got it because lawsuits are for liberal cucks. Yes, that's the scene, basically. And then camera guy is just like really struggling to pull focus because there's like 17 children in a one bedroom apartment at this point. And he's like, I have no idea. He should be in focus and he shouldn't. Yeah. So they finally all leave us house after a lot of trouble apparently in the filming process. And then he lays back down on his couch to have some more weeping time.

He's really trying. He aims. He goes for shaking this time. He's pretty sure shaking is crying. Like, don't give an actor a really long crying scene if he doesn't know how to cry on camera. No, they're weird. They're not. They do the opposite. They learn all the way into this. They're like, he's going to be good at this crying eventually. It's like a five minute crying

moment here. It's crazy. Oh, yeah, it's terrible. Well, listen to a whole song. And then he like, he like takes a picture out of his wallet of Dolly Parton for some reason. Okay, thank you. What? Thank you. Very clearly the photo that comes in the frame. It's really weird. It looked like he cut out a woman from like a 70s porn magazine and was using it as a bookmark in his Bible because he's weeping and reading the Bible here. Like you do. And then we see like Farrah Fawcett or Dolly Partner, whatever, pop out in this weird cut out picture. Yeah. But, but keep that photo in your mind because it's gonna pay off in the best possible way.

Except not at all, but yes, it does come back around. It's not correct, but it does come back around, yes. Yeah. In correct. And can we just real quick? I just need to take a quick second to talk about how, like Eli. Yeah. I need to know something quick second to talk about how like Eli. Yeah.

I need to know something for me. Sure. Absolutely. Is it that you're not good at spelling? Is it that you type too fast? Is it that because it's both? You can't think that you spell the word hurt, he, you are to. That's how I spelled it in our notes, it's a so.

Or a dead dick. A dead dick. Or an inspiration. Nailed it. Okay, just check it. It's just that he types really fast. That must be most of it, right? Tim, if you need to, you can screen shot these notes.

I won't spout for act them. Provide them to a listening audience. Inspiration. He's got very clearly a photo that comes in a frame for inspiration. I do. Yeah, that's real. That's real. So in the movie, this guy's gonna sue the school.

In real life, by the way, if this was somebody who, we actually, this is really happening. In real life, this guy's not bringing up a real world teeth. People are trying to enjoy the movie. He's not gonna cover the next day. In real life, this happens. Liberty Council, Matt Stavre is representing in pro bono.

I hate real life. Okay, we're gonna take another quick break, and then we'll be back with more prayer. Never fails. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, online therapy. Hi, I'm Ethan, right? I'm Eli Bosnick. And I'm Cara Santa Maria. We talk about BetterHelp a lot on this show, and this month we're discussing some of the

Stigma's around mental health. For example, some people think you should wait until things are unbearable to go to therapy, but that just isn't true. Therapies are tool to utilize before things get worse, and it can help you avoid those lows. Or some people think that therapy is secretly a plot by the Illuminati

to steal the water in your body. But actually, that's just the Jewish therapist. Nope, not that. Okay. But many people think therapies for so-called crazy people. But therapy doesn't mean something's wrong with you. It means you recognize that all humans have emotions, except for Italians. No, I feel like Italians have emotions too.

We all have emotions. And we've been taught that mental health shouldn't be a part of normal life, but that's wrong. We take care of our bodies with the gym, the doctor and nutrition. We should also be focusing on our minds just as much. That's true. I've talked about managing my depression before and therapy is a huge part of that. But okay, smart doctor, fancy brain. What does all this have to do with better health? Well, better health is customized to online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist.

So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's more affordable than traditional in-person therapy, and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Just give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used better health online therapy. Plus, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and God Off the Movies listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash awful. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P. Dotcom slash awful.

BetterHelp. Help with your emotions, especially if you're a town. Nope, don't, okay. Does BetterHelp actually like these ads? Not this one. Okay, everyone. Welcome back to the first day of school. Just a quick reminder, we have a school policy against prayer here at Buckleloo High. As many of you know, we had an incident with the basketball coach last year.

So just want to, does anyone have any questions about the no brain? Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. So is that just praying out loud? Or can I pray like silently in my head? Yeah. How would we know that? That's a great question.

I mean, right. Unfortunately, we can't read your thoughts. But if teachers notice you looking, you know, pray, you can expect some kind of disciplinary action. So if you're doing something that might be confused for prayer, like holding in a poop or something, just consider saying that out loud. Yeah, okay.

Well, I am holding in a poop right now. Great. Just like that. Oh, other question, yes. Yeah, what about wishing? Oh, that's a great one. Wishing is okay, out loud or to yourself, just don't make that wish too to a deity. That's a little too close to prayer. Okay. What about like a demigod like Hercules? Demigods are fine

as long as they never ascend. So, you know, I'd avoid any forms of Shiva. Got it. Got it. Okay. Well, that's out of the way. Lunch today is pizza. I'll see y'all at the bell. Still trying not to poop. Good boy. Well, still trying not to poop. Good boy. And we're back. When we left off, coach Paul was looking at the Bible and a porn star bookmark or something like that. And that reminded him about the business card from the degenerate gambling lawyer from

the telephone polls. So now he's meeting up with Michael Brown, yes, Q. And he opens the scene by explaining that it's no coincidence that he saw his poster and then ran into him because there are there are 27 books in the Bible. And that's divisible by three. It's true. It's supposed to be a trinity. He tries to explain it as like, well, I found your poster on the side of the telephone pole. And then I met you at a diner too. You gave me a business card at that moment. And then I now recently, more recently,

found it three and a half, three though, Jesus, Trinity. That's really his explanation. And 27, 66 times. Well, that's the best part. He says there's 27 books in the Bible. And the lawyers like, there's 66 bucks in the Bible and the lawyers like There's 66 bucks in the Bible and he's like right but three Is also the new testament those it's three cube three times 22 is 66 and this is the first time you Realize this lawyer's not an atheist

And this is where the movie is gonna get get confused about its own title, right? He's like, do you ever pray? And he's like, yeah. And he's like, did it come true? And he's like, no, it didn't. And he's like, well, what did you pray for? And he's like, oh, I dreamed that my wife wouldn't cheat on me. And he's like, did she?

And he's like, well, no, I cheated on her. And he's like, see? God nailed it. This movie is called Prayer Never Fails. It's bad, it's weird. They're sitting there and he's like, this is what happened at school. I need to sue them and the guys like,

my wife cheated on me. And you're like, why is that relevant to this conversation? Sorry, you asked me if I'd ever prayed before. So I thought the only thing I could do is talk to you about my wife's infidelity. Do you want to watch the video? And then the coach is like, I just, it's the only thing I know. I just want to help boys become men. And I want to say, I'm so uncomfortable. I want you to say coaching basketball at the beginning of all your sentences. No, you do that. You say that first. I just think it's ironic that like he says it needs the hero of the movie.

I say it and all of a sudden I'm not allowed on school grounds anymore. You know, so well, he's not allowed on school grounds either at this point to be fair. Because he's a Christian and it's a very, very atheist school in Florida that, that fired him here. Yeah. This is where the lawyer lets him know that he needs a retainer. Keep in mind that the sister needs $10,400 to save her house. And he's like, okay, how much retainer do you need?

And he's like $10,500. Yeah. So he's like, I love that he adds a markup. Yeah. Because he's going to take that extra hundred and put it on like green on roulette or something. Yeah.

Yep. That's the plan. But then coach is like, okay, what about 5,000 for that retainer? And Michael Brown, the lawyer is like, yeah, okay, we'll do 5,000 moving on. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. Also, I don't get like where was he like, he looked around the room first and goes, what about five that was he,

this had something to do with his motorcycle? Yeah, so what we're supposed to get from the scene, I'm so glad you asked Cara, because I really didn't get this either. I had to go back. Yeah, it's really, it's a motorcycle. Yeah, I think so. What happens is he sells his motorcycle for the $5,000.

Right, but we don't actually see him do that. We see him now riding in a car. We just see a sign that says, for sale by owner, not motorcycle for sale by owner, just for sale by owner. And then he's driving in a car. We're supposed to put together that he sold his motorcycle. It's so, oh, it's going to be so bad.

Yeah, exactly, okay. So he owned a motorcycle and a car. He sold the motorcycle for $5,000. Yeah. Isn't it too caughty worth more than $5,000? I wouldn't have assumed, yes. I think it's a very expensive motorcycle. I think so too. But the movie is actually about to get more confusing. Because while we're watching Coach Petruli Oil sell his motorcycle, we watch the lawyer, and I notice that both of you and he they're confused in your notes about this. The lawyer is being confronted by the waitress from the

diner about the bet she put up for him. Are you sure that's who this is? That's a hundred percent. Yes. I'm pretty sure this is just a random character and the movie forgot they didn't introduce her yet. And they're just like, you know, Mary, right? And here she is. Nope. And she's talking to him. Wait, is this where I wrote again, what is happening? Yes. Okay. You wrote, what is happening? And I should have called in sicker

something. You're right. Eli, when you texted me how excited you were about this one. I should have listened to Carlton's secret. He did. He texted me several days ago, like, oh my God, I'm so excited. Why? What was exciting about this? Because it's so bad. I love bad. I think about when I'm watching these movies, I think about you guys watching these movies and it gives me strength. I don't like how that sustains. It seems

like how your life life blood. Yeah. Keep describing it that way. Bad movie never fails. Okay. Well, whatever this character, apparently, this is the waitress. I guess this kind of makes sense because she's kind of connected to the bookie. And this is about the bookie who left a message in Michael's office about all the money he owes, right? Yeah, so that's the connection. Yeah. So, but so you hear that. She says they left you a message at your office and you hear that and you're like, oh,

so they like trashed his office to make a point, but they literally, they literally left him a piece of paper that just says, check your email. Oh yeah, what is this? And then the email is a two-part threat. They could the bookie the bookie and let's be real. The authors of this movie couldn't think of a one-part threat. No. They have footage of his twin sister sleeping and they just attached a random article about someone being dead. So they were like, this is your sister sleeping and this is a guy who died. So I think you get what we're in black.

I really wanted Michael to call him and be like, wait, so did you kill that guy? No, no, this is just I was just looking for a death. You should have gone back and forth of them emailing each other like a montage of those emails getting types. No. Well, they did do this weird montage where they're like, here's the video. Here's the headline, but it's a screenshot of his laptop or his computer looking at the news article headline. And then they go back, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back

for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back

for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for, back for news article of the random guy getting murdered. There's like a load bar. There's something is moving. Yeah. And so when they clint back and forth, it's clearly they only have the one shot, like they didn't bother to film it statically. And so it's like really like I'm going to have a seizure. Yeah. It was the weirdest scene. You have reached your three free articles yet to call that. I find it is behind a paywall now. What were you trying to send me? Oh, damn it. I find another news article of someone dying. Will you share your Washington Post with me?

You could share it with one person, I think. So the point is though that this email with like vague murder evidence from an article and also a spy cam, it was a spy cam, right? Yup, of his sister. Yup, yeah, that was weird. So this bookie has installed a camera at his sister's house just for his sister. Yup. Yeah, that was weird. So this bookie has installed a camera yeah, at his sister's house, just for this threat. Yup. It seems like a lot of work when

all they did was just find a random article about somebody who got murdered for the other half of the. Yeah. Yeah. What? It's like very not balanced. I feel like the bad guy sent two team members of his gang. Yes. Like a super overachiever and a super underachiever. Right. Like his head, Hanchman was like, don't worry, I put a spy cam in her bedroom. And then his son was like, no, don't worry dad. I got an article where it got died. God.

It's behind the paywall, but I'm sure it'll be fine. Email him back. God. Right. So Michael sees all this and he goes to see his twin sister because now he's scared. And he's trying to be subtle about this evil bookie who apparently has a spy cam in her bedroom and he's like, let's go, uh, go to vacation, just, uh, you'll need. Hey, you know what would be fun right now?

Have you ever just like randomly gone into hiding? That'd be a fun adventure, right? Right. I also, look, I don't like to judge other people's physical appearance, except for all the times you've heard you do that on this podcast. Yes, you do. And also generally, and yes, they do. This actress appears to have gotten plastic surgery between the first scene and the second scene. I'd might buy that actually. Yeah. It may have happened. Yeah. The twin

sister. Yeah. The twin sister. Definitely someone stretched a lot of skin and stable it behind her ears in between these texts. Could be that she saw the the daily's. Yeah. It's not happy. She saw the days and like she was like, all right, girl, give me the person who has

the Botox and then she just went it got it done while they were watching the daily just came back. Hello. Yes. All right, if I sing too. But can we just take a minute to talk about how weird it is to ask your sister to just get out of town with you for a bit? Yeah.

Just take some time. That seems strange, especially since Heath was still unaware that they were twins at this point in his notes. Yeah, he goes, oh, they're twin brothers. strange. Especially since Heath was still unaware that they were twins at this point in his notes. He's talking to her like she's his lover. Right. He's literally, let's just go somewhere, let's just reset. And she's like, what are you talking about? I have a job. Oh, oh, oh, in my favorite. We have the same DNA she says to him. This is the best line in the reveal it. No, you don't.

That's not what fraternal twins are. Wait, they don't have the same DNA. No, the exact same DNA. She says, look me in the eye and tell me this is going to be settled. And he's like, um, um, and she goes, exact quote, she goes, we have exactly the same DNA. But I actually think a lot of people don't sadly don't know this,

but how could you possibly make the claim that you have the same DNA if you're a different sex, a different biological sex? Not just the same DNA, we have exactly the same DNA. Like, they have a whole different chromosome. One of them is XX and the other is XY. Siltation needed, this doesn't track. Yeah, I wrote my notes at this point.

You're not that kind of twins, or you've had some major work done. And I'm not just talking about the facelift. Yeah. But this is where she reveals that she knew her case about her son who died in a car crash, had been dismissed all along. And he's like, well, if you knew why have we had two scenes where you asked me about the case? And she was like, I wanted to see testing if you would be honest with me.

Oh, see, now I get it because I put car accident reference. What question? And they reference a lot of things. We are not privy to who wrote this movie in all. Great question. And they reference a lot of things we are not privy to who wrote this movie in all of that. Great question. Great question. The car accident is the case that he's handling for his identically DNAed sister. Yes.

Now I don't understand. And her kid died in that car accident. Yeah. And somehow she's suing, but we don't know. And her kid died in that car accident. Yeah. And somehow she's suing, but we don't know who. But it's over. But it's over because the case was dismissed and she has that written on another piece of paper that's been folded a lot. Right.

But she held that back from her brother who apparently either didn't know about it or did it or how did not know that the case was dismissed. Or I think that he did know and he's a liar, liar, pants on fire and was hoping to suck more money out of his sister to help finance his gambling debts for gambling. Yeah, I think that's the point of this is that he's actually kind of a piece of shit. Yeah, seems like like this same DNA. Yeah, this is like actually a pretty immoral character. He's sort of a bad guy. Yeah.

So he walks to the car and he has this weird monologue. Point is he's gonna pay her back. He's promising to become a better person and help pay back his sister eventually. Now it's the next morning and we're with the principal and he's doing the pledge on the PA for the whole school. And he skips the phrase under God because it's an atheist school in Florida.

One of those famous atheist schools in Florida. I was supposed to be Florida. I think it's, I know it was filmed in Florida and everybody's got Southern accent, so it's somewhere in the American South, I feel like. But either way, bad lawyer guy walks in and he's like, under God, that was added in 1954 to get the Russians, which just as a side note

is a point for our side, not for the religious side. He actually say that. Yeah. He doesn't say the thing about getting the Russians, but yes, Michael Browne, yes, Q is like, we actually put under God in there in 1954. You should say it. It's important. This is serious America. Yeah. And then and then he does the fucking swivel turn my favorite part of the movie. He turns around. He's like, oh, one more thing. One more thing. You've been served. Oh, yeah. Right. Yep. So I guess you sue the principal in this case.

That would be the defendant in a civil case like this. Yeah. Okay. So they're sue in the school, really via the principal. Okay. That's what they're saying. I took on this case. It's not an extra case.

Right. So for there, we kind of had to Michael at a meeting with the judge that would be Eric Roberts and the lawyer for the school. So it's like a pretrial judge lawyer meeting. Yeah. And they argue back and forth about, oh, we want six months. No, 30 days, no, 60 days and judge Eric Roberts. By the way, Eric Roberts, I'm going to go ahead and say this literally drunk on camera.

Oh, for sure. I'll tell you guys what I love you guys. I love you guys. I love you. So we're going to do. You're so right, Eli, because look, I wrote, wait, I know that actor. He seems weird. Yeah.

He's that guy. He's weird. Always drunk guy. Well, let her. He's made a leather. No, but the thing is he usually seems normal, but he seemed weird in this. Yeah. He's drunk.

I think he's drunk. Yeah. I think he's right. He's fucking wasted. He's like, I said I'd do another movie. So here we go. It's me, judge man. Click, click. Is he normally sober though? And his other stuff, I feel like no, I think so. No, I feel like this is just after he agreed to do another Ken Delveque film. And he was like, you know what? I deserve those little yellow shots, those dusty yellow shots at the liquor store. I'd like a whole fishball of them, please.

To get me out of the hate crime I didn't injure. Wait, did it, who, yikes. Do they usually, is he in a lot of these like Christy movies? A bunch. Oh, yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. I really, I only know him from like mainstream stuff. No, Corbin Bernson, these are all, all stars.

We've done a bunch of these guys. I thought like these other people are like, who are they? This is the only guy I was like, I know that guy. I thought for sure Cliff from Cheers was showing up. John Ratsonberger. We had a lot of regulars on here. Okay. But this, this is the best part of this scene. It's the only reason it's worth bringing up the scene. As they're leaving, right? Bad lawyer, Michael Brown notices the judge's bookshelf. Well, except, except shelf, they, would we say shelf, right? They couldn't get a room with a bookshelf. They do it to shoot in. So he's got two bookends, bookending, four books. Yeah, like it's no book. See, it's no book. The feet of the book ends were like pushed

up against each other and like slid past each other a little bit. The four books that they could find as pro. So now he is Corbin Bursts in time. Yes, it is. So we're at the offices of a very fancy atheist friendly law firm. And they're gonna be helping out the school. They're like the most famous law firm and they're atheist friendly. And Corbin Bernson is their all-star lawyer. He has not lost a case in 20 years.

I know this is a trope, not just for Christian movies, but it's such a weird trope. If a lawyer was like, just so you know, I haven't lost a case in 20 years, I'd be like, oh, so you only, do you have any hard ones or you only take on the cases you can win? Do you not do a lot of cases?

My favorite is that they've not panned out yet when he reads this line. And I say reads this like, nobody in this movie actually acts. He says 200 years of collective experience here, but he shows only three people, two of whom are under 40 years old. Oh, the math on that is really confused by this matter. Later they pan out and there's five people, but I'm sure the woman on the far side is 19. Yeah. So I'm still really confused how they arrived at that man.

I wanted to cut down the table to Methuzelo, who's their paralegal. Hey, how's it going everybody? That's mostly me. He's talking about me. He's talking about me. Oh, God, I wish they did that. I'd call him a dancing. No, I just take notes.

I'm very old. So yeah, he does the like, I am going to destroy the very essence of him. And that's, that's the scene. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I wrote, wait, who are they talking about? What is going on? It's such a crazy mo, it's like this evil atheism speech.

Like we're not just going to scorch the earth. He actually says that. Yeah. We're not just going to scorch the earth. We're going to like do a full Christian genocide. That's the message of this moment. Also Corbin Bernson is psyched about doing a lawyer thing again because yeah, LA law, he's like saying all the law words that he remembered.

He's in his element. Yeah. Remember what people liked me, huh? I could do law stuff. Her curium jury is another Latin thing that I know just so everybody knows Eric Roberts Let me have a little of his water bottle. So I'm pretty psyched for this scene So over there we go ahead to later that night and Michael Brown lawyer he's going to find coach Paul to talk about their case and Coach Paul's not home because he's sleeping in his truck

because got evicted maybe, is that what happened? Oh, they don't say he got evicted. That's why I wrote, why is he sleeping in his car if he has an apartment? Didn't this just happen? Like could he got evicted in like two weeks somehow? Like days, I think they were still in the days range. Yeah, it's very unclear. This scene, though, coming up,

is the scene where it really sort of codified for me, like really cemented the fact that this is a high school project, this movie. Oh, yeah, for sure. The quote, news report. Oh my God, okay. Oh my God, I can't. I can't keep it for a minute.

This is so funny, okay. So, I, I, I can't. This is so funny, okay. So, I'm so happy. So we're there from the parking lot where we see that the coach is in his truck. We cut to the coach, I guess the next day, and he's that we find out a job interview. But we don't know that right away.

What we really cut to is CNN, well, in the movie, it's like MCN, but it's clearly CNN doing a segment with an adult reading a middle school report about the first amendment. That's what's happening, but it's supposed to be like the angry, atheist CNN reporter being like the first amendment separation church in state. That's real. But it's barely an adult, and it literally reads like one of those episodes of South Park. Yep. Where's there like you're doing like a little school report?

It's so embarrassing to watch. You're like, oh God, they think this actually looks like what the news is. It's so stupid, but the best part is from there. We're seeing that. The news thing, but the things they zoom out. We're actually at the interview. So the person who's interviewing him for a job at a school has shown him this video. She spun her screen around and showed it just to taunt him to be like, look, CNN is saying how wrong

you are. There's no way we're hiring you. I just brought you into taunt you like this. Yeah. She says, I like your resume. And I was like, his resume is coached basketball at a school. Yeah. Oh, and this is, this is definitely where you again realize that they really stick to the like say it, show it, say it mantra because she says, I like your resume and the camera pans to his resume. And then back over. It's made of paper. There it is. Yeah. So stupid. But she won't hire him. So now he has to shamefully apply for unemployment. This might have been my favorite moment in the movie. This is pretty funny too. Oh, this everything about this is so unreal. Where he accidentally threatens to sexually assault the woman that he unemployment office.

Yeah, he really needs to work on the phrasing. He's got to say the important thing right at the beginning. Right. So this is a Christian movie. So he has to clarify, he would never file for unemployment. Who would do that except for unemployed people, which he's not. He's just temporarily jobless. So he's like, yeah, I've never done this before.

I'm sorry. And she's like, well, you need to fill out these forms and come back. And he goes, I'm not trying to violate anything. And then the actor breaks. But what we get from the movie is, I'm not trying to violate anything. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Everything about this scene was weird to me.

What was he talking about? Terrifying. He's not violating her? Well, he wants, so she told him to fill out these forms and then like get in a different line or go back to the end of the line or something. And he wanted to point out that he's been online for three hours.

I'm not trying to like break the rules, but can't you just let me like sign the thing and then you stamp me right now? And so she does. You know what? Just for asking that denied then you stamp me right now. And so she does. You know what? Just for asking that denied you do not get it. Yeah, I don't think that's legal. Like they show it.

It tight. He's like, I've been in line for three hours and she's like denied. Like that's that was the scene. Yeah. Like how is that legal? It's his money. Like that's what unemployment is. You've been paying into an account.

It's very difficult for Christian white men in the American South. It's what we're learning here. That's what this movie wants us to know. Yeah. Right. Right. Oh, and then this and then it takes a fucking left turn. Yes.

Who does podcast list? I'm at this point. I knew this movie hit broken carol, but it was this scene, this scene coming up that I knew would haunt Keith and right. I am furious. So making ahead. Okay. This is so fucking good.

Later that day, take a fair heap. Michael Lawyer takes his $5,000 retainer to a casino. I don't know if we would take a casino. It's a place where you can, yeah, somebody's really shitty table that has like a felt mat that's got folds in it, but it's technically green and felt. Yes, it's a wrinkly felt and dining room chairs. They are ugly dining room chairs that they're sitting in. Yep.

So he's that, that establishment and he's going gonna bet that $5,000 on Blackjack. He's gonna do one single hand of punch. Yes, because this is how good gambler's gamble. Yeah, you count all the cards and then you write when it's the perfect time you show up five thousand. Hello. And bet on one day. Yeah.

So he plays one hand of Blackjack. How's that hand go? He God did it. Take us to the play my play. Okay. Okay. So he gets dealt 14 and the dealer's showing a seven. So you actually are just barely supposed to hit here and he does.

He hits and he gets a force. Now he's at 18. Okay. You clearly stop now. You have an 18 against most likely a 17 for the dealer. He hits again. He hits again. And he hits a two. So now he has a 20. Yeah. He deserves to lose. I hope he loses all the money and gets beat up by the bokeh, but he has a 20.

I genuinely thought he was going to hit again. I, I was so sure at this point in the movie who's going to be like, hit me and dealer was going to be like, are you sure, man? He has going to be like, I'll just, I like your money. This is what I love when you come to this bedroom casino. Yep. So he makes 20. Obviously, the dealer flips over his cards. He's got a seven and a four hits again, gets 10. He's got 21. So the dealer gets 21. He loses his $5,000. hits again, gets 10, he's got 21. So the dealer gets 21, he loses his $5,000. And from there, we get to see coach Paul is also having a sad evening. He's playing slow motion night, basketball by himself in an abandoned park. Yeah. And you, you guys notice, I don't know if you notice this, but they kept showing the

same aerial stock footage of like a pretty high tech looking town that was like an ultra HD, like 4K. Oh, yeah. All the other footage is absolute garbage. Like they overpaid for their stock footage because all it did is make their footage look really bad. Well, they saved so much money by going with the yearly plan. Kara, they had no choice. They also clearly, this was insisted upon by the actor who plays the coach.

He dunks a basketball here in slow motion. It absolutely not. There's none scenario where this actor can dunk a basketball. This was on a tiny little hoop or maybe stock footage, something like that. Yeah. Or he had like a springboard. Right. He pulls away. We just see that the basket's been he had like a springboard. Right. He pulls away.

We just see that the basket's been lowered all the way down like for children. Yeah. Go away. Right. So from there, we covered a coach, Paul and Michael having a late night legal meeting. And so what we established in the scene, he's like, oh, man, it's been so hard. I'm glad we got that big settlement. You told me about in the last scene, he's like, bad news, turns out he actually snuck me.

He says they snuck him. Yeah, oh, that was so confusing to me. What does that mean? I have no idea. Yeah, because the coach replies with, so you're saying they outsmarted you and I just wrote my notes, calling a meeting and then not giving them a settlement

is not outsmarting someone. You snuck me. What? Now, I also have to point out one other thing about this scene. The actor, Coach Petruly, he goes through puberty during this scene. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Twice. Twice during the scene, he does a line. He's like, so you're saying that's really it? And they kept it. They kept it. Well, yeah, because that's the only time they ever found emotion in his voice. That's true. Why does the lawyer, Bo Tyleuyer keep calling him swami? Oh, because he's a, he predicted the basketball games correctly. When he told him all

his bets were wrong, it turns out the basketball coach was right about that. All his, all his picks were wrong. He was correct. So he's a, he's a a Swami. So that's like, that's racist, right? They're really, yeah. Okay, I'm pretty sure this is very racist. It's very, very problematic. Okay, good, just making sure, all right. About as close to a slur as you can get in these movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so, so this is the scene where something important is revealed. Oh, fuck, yes it is. This is, this is the unceiling that we referenced earlier in the, in the description. Yes. He hands him an envelope and he's like, did you think they were going to bring up this? And the coach is like, that's sealed. That's sealed. They're not allowed to unceil it. And he's like, they're money unceiled it. Yeah. So now we know he has a juvenile record and I wrote legit who cares, but later we'll see why we care

Hey, hey podcast listener podcast listener. I know I give you this challenge quite a bit in these more recent years Go ahead and pause the podcast pull over to the side of the road if you need to write down the craziest fucking thing You can possibly imagine his juvenile record being Because this movie's going to beat it by a country mile, my friends. He also points out that like prayer is just clearly not work. Prayer is failing, man. He like, what's it up to?

Oh, she's like, dude, it's actually the opposite of of working. You're not working because of prayer. You see, you see how it's all bad? Like, nothing is working with that kind of enjoy that. I like that too. Good points are made in this film accidentally. But they land on, okay, we got a really big, we have to play for keeps now too. Maybe we should do a psych out thing. I don't't know but we're taking this seriously now. This is when Michael's like you know what I'm gonna Google how to win court stuff right now we're doing this. This scene literally ends with his lawyer

going oh I'm Googling it if you are ever talk hey free legal advice from a podcast if you're ever talking to a lawyer and they go I'm going to Google it you are fucked. You know that? You're fucked. Yeah, it's true. It's true. And that everybody is the classic screenwriting move called the googling cliffhanger before act three. So we're going to take one more quick break and we'll be back for the adjective conclusion

of prayer never fails I'm on I just said I don't feel like cooking. This is important Kara. You need to see Hey guys, what you doing? Oh Kara has ordered take-out five nights in a row now So she needs to be ghost of Christmas future into hello fresh What's hello fresh with hello fresh you get farm fresh preportion ingredients, and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on Hello Fresh to make home-cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit. Okay, but what does that have to do with Heath? Well, Heath doesn't have Hello Fresh. Hey, is that your dinner, buddy? Yes, why?

A bag of skittles and a bag of cheetos. And cheetos, yes, it's Thursday, so. See, Ghost of Christmas Future! I can hear you, I'm right here. Hello, fresh delivers, pre-portion ingredients to your door, including farm fresh produce that arrives within a week, so you get convenience without skimping on quality. Skip the trip to the grocery store, saving you the weight and long holiday lines and ensuring you don't waste money on excess food. Look Eli, that sounds great, but that's got to be super expensive, right?

It's not Cheetos, by the way, their store brand, just for the record. Actually, according to the Zagat Dining Survey, Hello Fresh is 72% cheaper than a restaurant meal of the same quality. And you can save on average over $65 a month when you order Hello Fresh instead of grocery shopping. Wow, that does sound good. Skittles are branded though. These are the real skittles. I was actually a customer of Hello Fresh before they became a sponsor. I still get three family size meals a week. Everyone in my house loves Hello Fresh from our babysitter to my son. I looked up some generic ones online, but

the really only sold in bulk. So yeah, that was a no-go. Go to HelloFresh.com slash awful16 and use code awful16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts. Wait, so if I go to HelloFresh.com slash awful16 and use code awful16, I get up to 16 free meals and three free gifts. That's right. Like tockies too. So, what do you say?

Are you scared straight? Yeah. That's right. Like, talkies too. So, what do you say? Are you scared straight? Yeah, let's go. Who the wish you'd stop using me to ghost of Christmas future people? Oh, okay, they're gone. They left. Okay, be straight with me. Mr. Brown, how's my case going? Not good, son.

As you can see, they have much taller paper than I do. Damn. Is there anything we could do about that? Well, I've tried double spacing, but I won't get to staple still tomorrow morning, but it gets worse. It gets worse. It does.

I met with a posing council today. Oh, what did he say? Well, he told me I had a spot on my shirt, and when I looked down, I don't know how to tell you this but what he flicked my nose kid damn it or cases screw yes that is very legally relevant you think I don't know that look we've got one last hope but I don't know if it's gonna work oh what's that this morning I filed a motion with the judge for

us to be rubber and for him to be glue. Oh, dear God, I hope this works. Indeed. grownups wrote this movie about us. Yes, they did. And we're back. When we left off, Michael Brown, ESQ went on Google and he was typing something like praying in school, lawsuit, how do I win? All right. And coach Paul was totally on board with his lawyer doing that. He was very excited. And now we get an actual montage of more googling. That's another montage in this movie. We get on. So we cut over to the courtroom. And when I say they couldn't afford extras for this scene, not only is there no fucking body at this trial, which we're supposed to believe made it on to CNN,

they could not afford a full jury. Oh yeah. They do not have 12 people in the jury. They got like five, six max. Now I'm going to clarify something here because a lot of people watch along and they're going to be confused. In Michael Brown's opening statement, he says that he wasn't actually fired for praying with the student, which is what we saw. He was fired for threatening to report

the principal who was misusing funds. Oh, yeah, but this has never been referenced before right now. That did not happen in the movie. It's not been referenced or shown in the movie in any way, shape, or form. So we have two, we have two pads on this journey. These movies gaslighting us about it's self right now. Either Michael Brown is lying and the move, the rest of the movie goes along with it, or they forgot that they cut that scene. Okay. So, so yes.

So he's like making up facts or maybe we're supposed to just believe that the principle was doing something. Yeah. Making up facts or maybe we're supposed to just believe that the principal was doing something yeah, CD. And then didn't he switch his, like, gears mid-opening argument? Literally. Yes, he does. He might as well pull out cue cards and tear them up that he wasn't even reading off. And he's just like, I'm going rogue.

And he decides that it's, I am going to argue that prayer is good because earlier it was suggested that if you argue that prayer is good in an American courtroom in Florida, you'll get laughed out of court because, you know, jury's hate Christianity. Right. Especially in Florida. Right. So, so then he makes, like he says, fuck it. I'm going with a pro-prayer argument.

Right. And, and then the opposing counsel, like makes a well researched and legitimate argument against prayers. Right. That moment that comes up in every Christian movie where the actor has to sadly mumble out the truth. Yeah. It's actually in 1962, the Supreme Court knew what Brett Kavanaugh doesn't, but don't

enjoy it. We'll win. And it's like, do the writers real? This is the part I never understand. Like, do the writers hear themselves making so much sense? Nope. They do not. This movie is like, boo, Joe Pock could have made everyone Muslim if they wanted to. Boo.

And then, and then I love that. So the opposing, the opposing council, who is like, you know, reasoned and legitimate and well researched and all that, he just, I broke. I was watching and then I broke because he goes, no matter how many athletic events you make coach to victory. Yeah. We do get to watch Corbin Benson sound that word out in real time. Yeah.

He says it like three times. Okay. That's that that's classic loyalty. If you do it in like the charming Southern accent, you win way more off. That's how you get a 20 year winning streak by saying athletic. The saying stuff like athletic athletic. Athletics. What's a real.

I'm charmed by that. I'm charmed by that. Corbin Bernson. I also have to point out one other thing about this scene as Corbin Bernson's doing his speech for some god for second reason. The camera keeps cutting to a drunk smiling Eric Roberts, who's super fucking excited to be on camera. And so it's just like, and another thing about the legal is that, as a guy, how are you guys

doing? I got the whole world. It is. No, because it's important. I got the whole world. It is, it is. No, it's in because it's important. My grandpa died and I need this. I love you. I love you.

That just, you know, that's great feat. Yeah, it's a weird moment with Eric Roberts. But the whole point is that just, Corp Merzon comes up and he just says like, so the first amendment says we win. That's pretty much it, right? And everybody's just nodding along, being like, yeah, I guess that is.

That is, we'll let this guy try stuff, but super duper first amendment, yeah. Which is now gone, in real life. I get, I hate to bring it back to reality, but that's gonna be, that's, there's no more. Stop bringing things back to real life. Separation is fucking almost gone. It's pretty much done. People try to commute.

We're trying to vote for Hillary. Trottered dishes, diaphragmatic. Greene. No, it's going to cut all of this. And you know what? I'm glad. I'm glad it. I'll be emails it to you. Like a, like a horses head. Okay, whatever. So Corbin burns it. It gives us very short speech that's just like, yeah, the loss says we win. So, I'm done. We've already done this before in court. And then there's lightning for a second.

Right after him explaining that like, no, the loss says the atheist thing is right. And then evil lawyer who is maybe atheist, but maybe not, but for coach Paul, he gets to cause first witness. And it's the kid with the abusive dad, Lorenzo Lamis, from the beginning. Oh yeah, I don't know what happened in the scene. This is so fucking great. Here is all that I can assume that happened.

This actor did not read the call sheet and was like, oh, you guys have me on Thursday. I can't be there on Thursday. And they were like, well, we already saw the scene where he calls you to the stand. And he was like, well, I'm kicked, be there on Thursday. I've just got to, you know, rehab or whatever. And so this scene, what happens is like, I call my first witness. Shit. He said no. He has peered. All right. They're claiming that the kid didn't get like properly subpoenaed or something so that

kids dad being a judge knew the rules about that and refused to let the kid testify or something like that. I think. Yeah. And Corbin Burtson says, you know, rule 801 out loud, which means, you know, that accounts. So what happened is nothing. And we're to believe that this abusive dad and his kid drove all the way to court

just so they could dramatically say no and leave which they knew they were gonna do. Yeah. Which also the lawyer goes, well can't we just use his deposition instead? And they're like no. And I'm like, you already deposed the kid? Wait, you already, like this case is so complicated

that you already had a fully, like legal conversation in front of a camera with a court reporter, which by the way, do you guys notice that there are no court reporters or other, like there are, there's a staff. Kara, they didn't get a full jury. The idea that these filmmakers could rustle up a typewriter. It is. No court reporter, no bailiff, no, none of the things that are necessary.

One of the juries just running over to the, the standoff thing and being like, no, I got this, I got this, I got this. I'm taking notes. Don't worry about it. I said, I got this, I got this, I got this. What did I just say? I got this, I got this. So now they just cut over to the next witness.

Yep. Because Steve had tennis that day. Yeah. Oh, and the next witness is the principal. I love him so much. Oh my god. Now look, maybe you're watching this movie and you're listening to our podcast and you're thinking, oh guys, you're being a little bit mean like they maybe they tried their best and one of them's dead like be a little bit mean like they maybe they tried their best and one of them's dead like. It's not like they're absolutely true. Vicious transphubs to assure us.

Well, they're worth mocking. You can go ahead and disabuse yourself of that right now. You'd be wrong. So here's the line of thinking and he's careful. Please interrupt me if I have this wrong. He's talking to the guy and he's like, uh, so you, you don't have anything in the rule about not praying. And he's like, well, it's about anything that goes against the norms.

And Michael Brown, S. Quires, counterargument is, you have a transgender teacher and you didn't fire her for being trans. Yep. That's, that was the whole scene. That's, that's literally the argument. First, they do the dumb thing of like, where does it say exactly in the rules that you can't pray? I don't see the word praying anywhere. And the principal has to be like, no, we didn't write down praying. It's it's the rule for indecent conduct. And he's like, oh, do you you consider prayer

indecent? And he's like, it's not I don't mean it like the way that that word is, used in the English language. I mean, not the norm. And then he's like, okay, well, you have a transgender teacher. Would you say that is the norm to be trans? And that's, yes, that is the argument. Like you have to fire the trans person if you're gonna fire the Christian person.

That's what the movie is trying to say. They're just one, they need to just sneak in a little more big a tree. Yeah. Council moves for yucky, yucky trans person, case dismissed. That's it. Seriously. You got it. They might as well name another rule with a number.

Do you have to do that, by the way? Like if the lawyer doesn't name the number of the rule correctly, does their objection not count or whatever emotion they're trying to do not count? No, it's like Jeopardy where if you don't answer in the form of a question, you lose. You get convicted of murder. Yeah, they put you in handcuffs in the courtroom, which actually happened. Oh, that is going to happen. Oh my god. That is going to happen. Yeah. So that ridiculous, horribly bigoted scene happens. And then later that day, Michael and coach are, they're just hanging out in the courthouse in the dark together like late night.

All right, because it's raining outside. And the bouncer has to be like, go home. I have to close. I'm apparently the bouncer for the courthouse you have to leave now. Look, there's nothing you've been in a long day at trial and, right? And you loosen your tie and just hang out in the courtroom with your lawyer. Just kick back, take your shoes off. Yes, just chill. But he's not even, he's not talking, he's not doing anything, he's just mouth breathing. And like the worst way. And like there's this whole thing about how he's like,

I had to, my mentor had to argue from up here in the balcony because this courtroom was segregated. And you're like, Jesus, that's sad. And also has nothing to do with this movie. Oh, but doesn't it, Kara does, that's the part I don't because they revisit it. Yeah. Seriously, seriously, this black lawyer is like, yeah, so my mentor who also black

lawyer way back in the day, he had to argue from the balcony and not the regular part of the courtroom because he was black. And then the white, this little coach is like, just like me, when you say, and they agree. This greasy looking white boy with his $5,000 motorcycle, is like, yeah, that's exactly the same as me. Isn't it black actor who we gave the line, yes, to say after me? And the other actor, he's fucking the pen is blowing

and he's like, yes, it's just like, you know, just like America was hostile to black people. Same thing. Same thing. That's the, okay, I was like really trying to understand the connection. Oh, that's it. So was the actor who played my role. Yeah.

Yeah, didn't he say something like, like, he was shackled. Yeah, and they're like, yeah, shackled by stupidity shackled by stupidity. That is far from the dumbest thing they'll do with shackles in this move. Oh my god. Oh my god. Don't spoil it. Don't. That's as far as I will spoil it. It's not ruined my castle. I'm already on wiki feet.com. Now we got to the next morning and the whole basketball team shows up to watch coach Paul take the stand. This is his big day on the stand. We fight. We fight. We fight. We fight. And they fight again. Yeah. They also like the captain of the basketball teams like, all right, man, you got this defense wins championships. And

I was like, wait, he's a plaintiff, but you know the best game. You're the best. Yeah. They keep referencing it like it's a criminal case, and it's not a civil suit. Yeah. They lost you at the beginning of that sentence. And after they do the we fight, they walk into court with slow motion action here of music. Oh, the music. I wrote my notes. The music seems to think they're about to pull out shotguns and kill the ninjas that took over the courtroom and act too.

And then I wrote, when you play epic emotional music through the entire movie, it definitely loses its effect. Yeah, it just becomes noise. You know what also takes away from that effect? Is when you turn on that music and yeah, you expect like a shotgun ninja scene like you might describe, but instead, you get this guy, he looks like Dwight Shrewd at this moment. Coach has the short sleeve button down with a tie that doesn't reach his waist. Yeah. He looks like he's in like a Catholic school uniform.

Yeah. It's like the tie, the white shorts, that's too big for him. It's so rough. And that, again, this is what they believe to be a montage. The entire montage consists of walking from the door to the room over to the table. And mouth-breathing, lots of mouth-breathing. Lots of mouth-breathing. And a good deal of wake apnea, yes.

Mm-hmm. Oh, is this the point where the lawyer says something to us, the viewing public, about how our lives are hopeless because we have no face? Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah, that's what you would say during, you know, you're taking the stand moment here. Yeah. Your lawyer would ask you about that and you would be able to say that. So his first question for his client is, did you pray with Kurt Rogers?

That's the kid. And he's like, yes, I did the thing. So at this point, it should just be like, Gavill, you're, you're still fired because you're not allowed to do that. Right. You just admitted to exactly what this. Yeah. Yeah.

It's so fucking clear cut. But he continues. He's like, why did you pray? And he says, because the kid told me about physical abuse and my response was praying and not the mandatory recording required to do. But I think, Kar, you're saying like pretty much every state that's public schools, you have to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Public School teacher for sure. Sure. Hope so. And he also said, and maybe not even public school, maybe just anybody who works

with kids. I'm not sure what the, I know I have to do is a there. I do a workshop at a high school once a year and I'm a mandated reporter. Yeah, exactly. It's all really intense. But this is the actual line. He said, quote, I did it because I recognized pain in his eyes and I knew it. That's acting. That's acting. That was that was. That's writing and acting. That's what they were going for. What is that even me? Carol really hammed it up compared to what we asked to be though. I did it because, so he prayed with the kid because he recognized pain in his eyes and I knew it.

What did you know? He knew that pain. Well, that's about to be revealed, isn't it, Carol? Oh, they actually was a point to that line that he just did not sell to. Yeah, I wouldn't go that far. Okay, okay. I'm not gonna go ahead and give them things like points.

Okay. This is where the coach says, it's pretty funny. He actually kind of admits that this whole thing is stupid for a second. He's like, yeah, so lots of people say the prayer is nothing and I was really supposed to report it to like a real professional. But I don't know much. I'm just a simple Christian basketball coach.

Praying is real magic. And then the lawyers like I nailed it. Your witness, Corbin Burns. He's not what you're supposed to do. He's just like, the trial is over. He did the thing that he got fired. Okay. So now it's time for Corbin Bernson to get him to admit his deep dark secret and he might

as well say, almost as what? This is how Corbin Bernson gets him to unseal his own backstory. He's like, so you're saying prayer works. And he's like, yes, and he's like, did prayer work for you when you were 10? And he's like, yes. And he's like, uh, Jackson, I'm actually gonna hold on. Fuck my, my client just got tricked into. I told just, just now I told you, don't talk about when you're 10.

No, no, you're honor. He said yes, when I said, did it work when you're 10. No, no, you're on her. He said yes. When I said, did it work when you were 10? Therefore, I get to bring up that and Cara kind of teased us at the beginning. Kind of the juvenile record that our hero has is that he shot and killed his dad when he was 10. But not before also pushing him out of window or something. He like, he'd like, he'd list like seven different brutal things he did to his dad, closing with shooting. I believe, yeah, he like karate kicked him and then threw him through a window

and then he walked downstairs and then shot him more to kill him more. Something like that. Which is fucking badass for a 10 year old. Totally badass, but also done,-dun, or did he? What's amazing about this movie is that it's very clear none of the writers have ever seen a 10-year-old, because the image of a 10-year-old throwing a full grown man through a plate-class window and then shooting him, it's like,

shucky levels of humorous. Oh yeah, this kid couldn't do that at 28. Yeah, absolutely not. No, there's no way. So a 10 year old version of him. Right, and so from there, Corbin Bernson is like, okay, so, praying helped when you shot and killed your father.

And Coach Paul's like, yes, it did. And then he starts mumbling a part of the Bible, I guess, to help him. Oh, yeah, he just starts praying on the stand like a, like a, like a, like a not well person. Yeah. Compulsively. Nothing shows you that prayer works like being like, the Lord is my shepherd. I show that one. But now we're going to get the real story. Yes. Yes. This is the or did he? Yes. Right. But first they have a commercial break inside the Quirk room. Yes. They fade to black then unfade to the same scene. Well, here's what's crazy. Here's what's crazy. They fade to black and then we see judge Eric Roberts sitting down, which means there is cut footage somewhere in this universe of ours of Eric Roberts being like,

I got a shit. Hey, shit. Stop the movie. Movie stop. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Yep. They did. They did. They did. They did. They did. They did. They did. They did. They did. Yep. Without questions. So Eric Roberts sits back down and they start their court thing again. And now Michael Brown, yes, Q is calling a known up Paul to the stand. Nonapal is mama, aiden Paul's mom. And it's a surprise witness that he's surprising his own client. That's a double surprise witness. The movie thought that's a surprise witness. It's a swear.

Yeah. It is an in case they surprise my witness. I'll surprise my witness on the double surprise witness. Surprise my own client with a surprise witness. Yeah. And so she's in a wheelchair. And so she comes down the aisle to, you know, go to the front to testify. And I'm pretty sure they just mounted the camera to the wheel.

Yep. And this is how they got their very artistic shot of her coming down. Like the angle, the camera angles in this movie. To be fair, if she walks, her face will explode off of her body. Oh, the plastic surgery. It was very likely. It's like this woman heard me making fun of the woman earlier in the movie for her plastic surgery. And she was like, I'll show you. Do you do my plastic surgery while I'm hanging out

of the side of your car? It's fucking insane. She looks like someone dropped, Caitlin Jenner's Madam to Soadstall on its face and left it there for a year and then they started up and they were like, ah shit Give it to a Christian movie. She looks like the cat late. Have you guys seen the cat lady? Like if you Google like cat lady plastic surgery. Actually does like her name is jossal and wilderness Dine. It's a real thick cat woman cat lady plastic surgery like Google her. Yeah, she looks like her. Yeah Jocelyn Wildenstein. It's a real thick catwoman, cat lady, plastic surgery, like Google her.

Yeah. She looks like her. Yeah. Like someone just threw a handful of loose Botox at her face over and over and over. Yes. Very violent. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Or like you've ever seen that part of a sci-fi movie where the alien is trying to put its human mask back on and it doesn't have it on quite right yet. Oh. Oh, it's it is that that Instagram filter. Yes, everybody like where it like makes your lips big and it makes your puffy lips. Yes, absolutely.

She looks like that Instagram. She is the embodiment of that Instagram. Oh, if she ran that filter, would she look like a person? Yeah, does Instagram make reverse filters for this? I wonder. Yeah, so she gets on the stand to tell the real story, which is that Aiden didn't shoot his father. She did.

Now, she was a drug addict and Aiden's dad and his friends used to do terrible things to her. And I wrote in my notes, they made her watch Supernatural. But one night, one night, Supernatural. So one night, so they were supposed to imply that they like, did bad sex stuff to her. Okay. But then one night, it's clarified, tell me if I'm wrong, one night they were like, I think we should fuck Aiden instead. I think that is what happened. That is what is implied here, yes. So she murdered it. Yeah, so basically she's like, he was abusive,

he beat me and raved to me a lot, but she doesn't say any of that. She like alludes to it. And then he's like, and then, and she's like, yeah, then he decided to turn on Aiden, and he goes, what did he do? You don't have to answer that. It's your wish.

You're a weird, that was so weird. And I'm like, no, she does. She's under oath. She needs to say what happened. And literally, he's like, you don't have to answer that. And the whole jury's like, I get it. I get what's implied. That's so strange.

That's so strange. We got it, man. The Dove channel will not like this moving on. Thank you. Really sympathize with the dad though, looking between sweaty, mouth-breathing Aize with the dad, though, looking between sweaty mouth, breathing aid in and Botox mom and just being like, I could probably just jerk off. Right. But, Carrie, you mentioned this earlier, this 10 year old takes the rap for this murder

here, but it's not a murder where anybody needs to get in trouble, right? No, no, it's self-defense. This is just a clear self-defense justified killing. That means that there was a possible flashback in this movie where she shoots the husband and he was like, mama, I'll tell them I did it. She was like, good thinking. Nice. Cool. Perfect. Yeah. So that'll really free up my afternoon. Now I can go to Target. Yeah. I'm going to do drugs more. Okay. So dad was abusive. Ten-year-old coach protected her dad, raped her, beat her, whatever. The coach, so mom killed him.

And then somehow she let her 10-year-old victim son take the rap. She's a good mom. Real good mom. Yep, that's the... That's what happened. That's the twists. Okay, sure. But then there's an extra...

The twists, twists itself in the next scene. Oh, yeah, there'll be a meta twists for sure. Okay, this next scene where he goes to visit her, is this a flash sideways? This is just a flash and more, the regular. I don't know why we flashed, it's just a scene. I think it's just a scene. This is out of the timeline of the movie,

but now he's visiting her on her, Jith, boo. I think this is Eric Roberts had to take another shit. Oh, okay. I was just like, what's up with that else? Somewhere else. Yeah, it's weird. They're like, they needed to bring in

and yet another character, a doctor, to say to the kid. So your mom's dying of cancer. And it's like, well, why didn't, they could have just had her say that. Yeah, why does any of this mean?? Like it's just an unnecessary seat. Why did he have to go see her doctor? Why is the scene exit? It's like the movie. Have you ever made up a crazy lie and you introduced a crazy character in your crazy lie? So then you try and add details to them in a panic so that they're relevant. It's like, and you're probably wondering why I know John Stamos. Well,

it turns out he's actually cousins with a loves pepperoni pizza. By the way, John Stamos, that's a scene field like jam did at the end. Oh, every time. And then it's like, and it's, it's, it's literally like they're, they're sinking back to when they went to film school, a.k.a. that one, like half day seminar. And they were like, show it, say it, show it, say it, show it. Okay. Okay. They zoom in on a cancer, just a big tumor for a second, just to show up.

Yeah, we got, it doesn't matter. None of this matters. They can't say the scenes weren't in the movie if you put them in after. Yeah, except they never put the scene with the fucking principal misappropriating fun. No. Also, this movie is called Prayer Never Fails. Don't put cancer in your movie about prayer never fails. You don't have to put cancer in your movie.

To be fair, mom did never pray that the husband would stop having sex with her son and her. So that's on her. Yeah, that's on her. She forgot to say she's got to pray. Yep. Oh yeah, does she die? I don't, did they, nothing, they don't wrap this up at all, do they? No, they don't wrap it up. We just see a scene where she's like, I have cancer and he's like, all right, good to know. Yeah, all we know is that Eli's house had exactly in all caps that blanket. Okay, this was very upsetting for me.

This was my child, the blanket that she's under for this cancer scene was my childhood quilt. So, really? I'm just looking as she like leaves through my family photo albums and is like, and another thing about when you're dead, you stiff fuck me with a fire extinguisher and I'm just like, ah, wish,

can we scootch the blanket out of shut? She's a weird feeling. Very upsetting, yeah. You like lives next blanket on a shot? He's a weird. Very upsetting. Yeah. You like lives next to Kendall, Vecchio, just to be clear. And a giant chemical fire. Are you okay, by the way? Did that just happen yesterday? That is what a full like down the road.

They had to evacuate a town right next to you. It's happening right now. One, it's happening right now. You need to leave New Jersey. Two, that's like a full 10 minutes from my house. So don't worry about it even a thing. No, it'll be fun. Oh, 10 minutes, yeah, that's awesome.

No, you got the booster. You're good from the chemical fire. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Jersey's not giving out chemical fire boosters yet. You got to wait. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey until your, uh, until your landfill boost. Do your own research about chemical fires. Yeah. Maybe they're good. They probably think of this point.

Hey, this movie seems to have gone off the rails a bit. Don't worry. The other plot lines are going to go off the rails as well because Michael is now going to get a call from his bookie who tells him he has till the end of the day to give him his money or he's going gonna kill his twin sister. So Michael, Michael Brown, attorney at law, attempts to physically escape the trial. Yes.

Okay. So, to be clear, that's not an exaggeration. He's just like, hey, Judge Eric Roberts, I need to step out of this room. Please, I have a really, I actually need a recess till tomorrow. I need to leave for a very important personal thing. And instead of being like, I'm ill, like I'm going to shit my pants. I just need to go.

He's like, I have a personal thing. And he's like, I don't care about your personal thing. You can't just leave court. I'll hold you in contempt. But okay, but I know contempt is real thing, but I'll arrest you if you leave this room is what said. And then it happens. Is that real?

And then the cops, here's what happens. Let's clear up the cops. They're my favorite. No, you can't have a recess. Stop it. And then cops stand in front of the door. And you're like, okay, that's stupid.

That's the craziest thing I've ever seen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's two cops and they take the wide leg stance and they put their, their one hand forward with the palm. Just this big straight like, that's how it's not pass, you know. None shall pass. They thought they were in a music video. Yes. Yep.

So they tackle him and arrest him and now we're back at the cold open. We've caught up with the beginning. Yeah. This is him with his head on the ground, getting cuffs, him getting cuff saying she needs me. Right. And now we get why. And also there's a lot of jump cuts in the scene. Yeah. So then they have their conversation from the beginning again. And now it's time for Michael's closing argument. Oh, right. To be fair, they don't just reference it. They just replay all of that. Oh, right. To be fair, they don't just reference it. They just replay all of that. Yeah, they just do the scene that we already talked about.

They do it exactly word for word moment for moment again. Uh-huh. And now it's time for Michael's closing argument, which he will do in hand and leg of shackles. Litterals. Hannibal fucking lecture. Yeah. He says he starts his closing argument with like I stand here my hands and feet literally shackled my freedom is restricted like a slave in the American South

which is just like my white client right now in this year of our Lord 2022. The weirdest, like, why would he be in shackles? Oh, that's kind of gay. And same. Also, it's like, so he's like, I have to take care of something. My sister's about to get murdered and they're like, no. So they arrest him. And instead of just going him being like, okay, never mind. Sorry, I'll just go on with court.

They're like, we're going to put you in jail for a bit. No, no, you have to do the rest of your thing in shackles. Yeah, but don't forget that they go, I, doesn't he go to jail for a minute? Yeah. And like the kid visits him. Mm-hmm. And this is an actual quote from Bowtie lawyer.

You don't know what it feels like to grow up a gambler. Does anyone is gambling a childhood pathology? I have had that one. My mother was gamblish. My father now technically half gamblish. Yeah, when I was seven, my gambling was out of control. Like do children understand how to gamble? Flashback to him beats a sweat pooling on his face as he plays jacks on the playground. It's so weird. I can't lose these marbles. You don't know what it feels like to grow up a gambler.

Okay. So he's like, I stand here shackled like a slave. They say there's a separation of church and state, but there would be no state without the church. What? I just know my notes. What could that possibly mean to them? It's just words.

You can say you can put all the words in different orders. It's stupid. Yeah. And I wrote, can someone please explain the connection between slavery, segregation and prayer in school to me? I feel like I just can't see the point they are fairly poorly trying to make. Right. Well, you know how like slaves want to be free. And you know how this surf coach wants to pray with his other 45 year olds. There you go. In like, in like a freedom kind of setting, exactly. Yeah. Free prayer. Okay. I said those next to each other, they're the same.

Ergo, I'm the writer of this movie. Oh my God. I wanted them to just pen over to Eric Roberts and him being like, okay, this is, this is what we didn't shackle him. He's, that's a really smart prop. He brought the props. Just like, really, that's on him, really adding a lot of emotion to this whole thing. We didn't do that. That would be insane. But it gets better. It does get better worse. Yes, it does. From here, we cut ahead to the jury coming back in after deliberating. They've reached a verdict. Coach Paul wins.

He won the case. They gave him $700,000 as a reward and his job back and the attorneys fees of $250,000. Yep. Okay. So that's almost $1,000,000. $1,000,000 in a reward here. Yes. And also, yes. This has been an important thing to remember. Add this up in your mind. A million dollars

is what the jury has awarded this plan to. Yes. This is very important. Keep this in mind. Yes. Because it's going to pay off in a, in the craziest way. I would say, I mean, he's, he did murder his dad when he was 10. So I don't know if it's the craziest payoff in the movie, but it's top five crazy payoffs in this next scene. Yeah. By the way, the, the, the form and of the jury also announces, I'd like to, so yes, a million dollars in reward, but more importantly, praying in schools should be mandatory. I would like that to be read into the record, please.

We the jury would also like to say, Neen or Neen or to the cool district. I literally wrote this is such a boring Christian fantasy. We'd also like to add Ron DeSantis 2024. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Sure. Okay. So now they're back at the jail cell because he is still in contempt, even though he won. It's 2024. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's back in, he might as well wheel him back into jail, like animal lector with a mask on. It's so ridiculous. They're wheeling him next to the mom. I get it. No, I get it. Also, wait, can you guys explain this to me? We open up on the scene where they're in jail.

But why are they both in jail? You can't go visit your friends in jail and just like, I know. You're self-awesome. We can't even jail with that. Just having a little cry. We got a lot on the balcony. We're doing in this jail.

But like earlier when he's talking to him, he's on the other side of the door. But this time he's just in jail with him. Yep. Why? Can you just turn yourself in for a little bit? And be like, what? I'll do a crime real quick.

What do you want me to do? I pray in school one more time. Okay, cool. Cool. Now I can hang out with my buddy. So Corbin, that's the walks in, right? And he's like, oh, you beat me. and he does this weird monologue about like the first man that beat me. His name was Thomas G. And now I'm going to think of your name, Michael Brown's stupid, it's stupid. Nobody cares. But this is the part that's best. He's like, I know the judge

just word of a moot. You ordered you a million dollars, but I have this check for you for $300,000. Do you take this? This deal or no deal? And the lawyer is like, yes. But he does it. It's the weirdest thing because he doesn't even contextualize it. He just comes in and goes,

I talk to the judge and I got permission. So here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna offer you 300 and you 200. Do you want it? Do you take it? And they're like, yes. And it's like, no, that's not a deal. What? Why? They already got awarded a million. Why did they take half? I don't know. I thought they were claiming that like they could appeal this and end up getting nothing. So this is like guaranteed something. Oh, come on. You think that's what, is that, did we miss that? Oh, the movie does not clearly present that to us.

No, in no ways that would, like, it's told to us correctly in a very clear way by the movie. But maybe that's what they're implying. Maybe. So they're like, yes, we'll take the money and then they get down on their knees. Mm-hmm. And they pray. In like the most, why is it that like really passionate praying in these, it's so uncomfortable

to watch? Yeah. It's like weirdly sexual. There's something going on. I don't know. Do you guys get like a vibe? Oh yeah. Very sexual.

No, I got a real wiki feedback office. Yeah, yeah. It's just like jail and prayer and money and, and this lawyer, this opposing lawyer, like he is a good negotiator, man. All he has to do is say take this money and they, and yes, we'll take that money. What about half though?

And they're like, sure, absolutely. What about this mystery shoebox? Mr. shoebox. They dive on it. Yeah. Go bonbon, go bonbon. And then the credits roll and you're like, oh, a bunch of that stuff didn't get resolved. The movie realizes it at the same time. So throughout the credits, they resolve things like we see him giving some guy a bag of money and his sister being alive. We see Judge

Dad getting arrested again, like the project was due and it's 8.30 a.m. and then just like, quick, shove it into the credits, shove it into the fuck credits. 90% of the plot unfolds in this like 30 second montage at the end, which there are whole characters. Like you said, the other judge, the dad, the like abusive father judge, which why was he a judge?

What in purpose did that serve to the plot? None. None. And it's like, now he's getting arrested, but it's like raining to, they're standing in the rain and you're like, I don't even, what am I looking at? Oh, you know what purpose it was serving? It was showing us how many abusive,

dead, atheist judges there are packed into the American system right now. Oh, right. And that's a problem. I'm serious, I think that's why they did that. Oh, yeah. And that's a problem. I'm serious. I think that's why they did that. Oh, and then at the very end, it literally has a screen that flashes up that says dedicated to Nick Lashaway. And so you, you know, like you do, you Google Nick Lashaway and you realize, that's the main character of the movie. He died. Yeah. Nope. He died while they were, you know, finishing the edit.

And this was his last project. And look, Nick did not have like a great career, right? He was like a background extra and 40 year old Virgin. He did a couple of parts. National lampoon movies. You've never heard of, but this was it. Nick would definitely turn to his girlfriend and was like, don't worry, babe, like it's just one movie. It's not like it's gonna be the last movie I'll ever do. Yeah, and it was his probably his biggest role. Mm-hmm. Like by far, I mean, he had so much mouth-breathing in this movie.

Whoa, he was the lead mouth-breather. Under five oxygen level. Ha, ha, ha. All right, before we close it out, any idea on the moral of the story, Pair Never Fails? Bid doesn't it though? moral of the story, Pair Never Fails? It doesn't get though. We're gonna go with Pair Never Fails. That's the title.

Pair Never Fails, and if something bad happened to you, it's because you forgot to pray. You forgot to pay away your cancer and your horrible childhood trauma and abuse and all that. Right, so just pray, and then all of your gambling debt will be resolved. You should pray for better cards and black jazz too, yeah. Right. So just pray and then all of your gambling debt will be resolved. He's right. He's right. Pray for better cards than black jazz. Do you know what?

All right. Well, I think that's going to do it for prayer. Never fails asterisk. But we did find another God, all the movie for next week. So Eli, what's on deck? Well, he, we need to show our commitment to this job by going to a full movie theater during the pandemic. Yikes. Full though.

We'll be watching American underdog. It's the story of who? Kurt Warner. Kurt Warner. Yeah. It's a football guy. Yeah. He's got a mobile guy. So with that to look forward to, we're going to ring episode three hundred thirty five to a merciful close. As always, big thanks to Kara for joining

us. Kara, anything you want to announce anything you got coming up. Oh, yeah, I always am supposed to do this at the end. No, just, you know, still, still churning out those talking dirty episodes every week. So you could go to my website. It's a great show by the way. I love it. I've been doing this since 2014 now. Pretty nuts. You still haven't been guests on that show. When are you going to have us on that show? Do you want to work out a date right here on the air right now? We're going to leave such a big awkward pause here Morgan. We're going to do a big silence right here. So here. So mostly my guests on talk nerdy are not people who don't know the difference between returnal twins and spiked them.

Oh, that was all you. That was a lie. Okay, so I'll come up. You know what, Cara, I'll reach out to you and we don't have to let Ethan in on our talk nerdy. We can, we can talk science. We do. You like, will you describe the science of the DNA

that we were talking about earlier? I don't want to repeat it because my colleague, my friend and colleague, Karisane, I really, really, like TLDR, what would be say earlier? I'd hate to, you know, step on toes. Especially because they're such nice ones according to Wikipedia. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, so, so yes, visit my website, my name, Karisane don't. Oh, no. Yeah. So, yes, visit my website, my name, carosanemrea.com, or my Patreon pledge, you know, your support of the show. And listen to it because I don't know. I think it's good. There you go. Learn nerd stuff, nerd stuff's the best. Yeah.

And of course, big thanks to all our Patreon donors for all the generosity. There's a bunch of nerds in that audience. You will like that show. If you'd like to help sport this show, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash godawful, and that'll get you early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help us out by leaving us good reviews and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the skating atheist,

citation needed, the skeptic rat, and D&D minus, available in all the podcast places. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email godawful off the movies at gmail.com, legal services for the podcast are provided by the offices of Pierre Dertoures, a theme song was written and performed by a Orion Slot and a couple of legal drafts on Mars, all other music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week. For Cara Santa Maria and Eli Bosnick on Heathenright, promise you to work hard to earn another chunk next week.

Until then, we'll leave you with the annual House Close. Breakfast Club close. Prayer failed. The literal star of the movie died before it was released. It's super fucking sad. And also completely undermines the entire plot as best as the plot. I have no idea what's going on in this movie. Yep. Also, God, we're on to keep creating abusive dads because he likes to be needed. We fight. We fight. We fight. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Ha ha man! Yum! What's up?