God Awful Movies - 359: Taken by Grace

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

This week, the gang gets together for an atheist review of Taken by Grace, the story of a road trip between a holier than thou Christian couple and a noisy eater. At gunpoint. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

I really want him to get in and like she doesn't have a DVD player It's like ah Give a PlayStation I'm gonna have to down what why would I have to download an app for that? There's it gets built into the fucking thing. I'm gonna. I'm going to circuit city, but I'll be back Now the TV's doing an update. What does that even mean? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be and Heath and right, Heath, welcome back. Thanks, Dawn. Very excited. And sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick. Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir?

I'm fantastic. No other band is back together, baby. Right? It's been a minute. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today?

We watched, taken by Grace. It's the story of taking all the most obnoxious character traits from Eli and me, they're making one single person with all of that together, and then taking a really long road trip with that person at gunpoint, plus the god or something. I don't know. It's even worse. And with the most boring vanilla fucking couple you can imagine as the other people on the road trip. Yeah. Yeah. Am I allowed to eat her? I feel like I'm allowed to. By comparison, I'll never feel like allowed. Yeah, right. Right. Exactly. I get so into it. And then I like put my head up and everybody's looking at me.

I was just chained so eating right. Every kind of just nodding. And Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you wish Thanksgiving with your mom's new husband was done at gunpoint, you love this movie. I'm going to call this one Train's Plains and I don't know how to feel. Okay. All right. That kind of rhymes So was anybody else hoping for a Christian abducted by aliens moving when they first saw the title?

Of course. I expected at least a character named Grace. No. Yeah. Come on. We've we've come to expect more on the nose titles For a few Christians All right, so is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best to be the worst at? Okay, I would I have a theory so I'm gonna say best worst Christopher walk in bet So the main character or the the guy who the obnoxious me and Eli characteristics guy that we're gonna get to Mm-hmm the actor I'm quite certain made a bet with somebody that he could sneak in a Christopher walk in impression like eight times

in the movie without getting caught. And he does it for like three words, all of a sudden an a little burst and he goes right back to his normal accident. It's really weird. Well, not his normal accent is terrible effort at American accent. That's the thing is I think he learned his American accent watching Christopher walkin. Oh, is he British or Scott? He's Scottish. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a really thick eyes. But then he British or Scott? He's got it. Yeah.

Yeah. He's got a really thick ice in his, but then I don't know. He's just like, wow. Yeah. And then back to his like, bad Scottish guy doing American. Yeah. All right. And I was he's he's already kind of spoiled this one, but I was going to go with best

worst mouthed noises. Oh my god. I have it in my notes somewhere, but I said, is there an opposite of ASMR? ASMR TM torture. So much of this movie is listening to this man loudly eat potato chips or, you know, breathe. Yeah. My God, this man breathing is like me snoring. Yeah, again, I'll say it elsewhere,

but I said, at one point I was watching this movie and I was like, is there a daytime CPAP machine? Is this gentleman needs it? If there's just an all the time, I guess that's a Vader mask. Is there a family of old pugs just out of the frame? This was directed by my pug. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Did all the ADR more huffing. Yeah. And I'm going to take the easy one. I'm going to go with best twist that makes the entire movie pointless. Yep. Why were we going there? No real reason was going there the entire fucking movie. Sure. The fuck was. We have now watched multiple movies where the answer was, it was a dream or they were in hell the whole time. None of them hold a candle to the uselessness of this movie's plot. Alright, well, say what? This movie star is going to need a minute to build up sufficient flim for his performance,

so we're going to pause for a quick break, but we'll be back in a minute with all the long drive with boring people levels of excitement that are... Taken by grace. Now a word from our sponsor BetterHelp. Hey podcast, Lister. You know, we try not to get too serious on this show. We know that many of you come here for a break from that stuff that's a bummer. And I promise we have a bunch of that stuff for you this week. That said, we know that this week and last week have been hard for a lot of you. News like what we've been getting lately can leave you feeling hopeless, alone, and afraid of what the future holds. So we just wanted to take

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Hands where I can see him. Will you take us? Yeah, why are you kidnapping us? All right, if you must know, we're going to go kill the man who murdered my son. Oh, okay. Wait, what did you mean, okay? Oh, she means we'll help you. Da.

Yeah, let's take that dude to beef town. Oh, wow, you guys mean it? Sure too. Someone killed my son, I'd do the same thing. Same thing. Exactly. Obviously. Alright then, you guys want some chips?

Ah, pop, pop, pop, pop. No eating in the car, but I have a gun. You have chip fingers is what you have. Fine, fine. And we're back for the breakdown. We're gonna open up, watchin' a dude stumble towards a house with a triggeringly dirty window. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I smudgy thumb prints on that one, but then we get the guy breaks the glass and breaks into the house. Yeah. So little glass. They didn't have window breaking money, but they did have glass dropping money, which is impressive. But little bit of that.

Yeah, right. They didn't have as much glass dropping money as they had windows showing. This is tidy as the one on a glass. As though he just punched out a teeny little window that was gonna allow him to like reach in and open a door. Right, which is what I thought they were going, but no, he jumps down like he climbed through the little tiny decorative window on a door.

Somebody just like spits out a small mouthful of broken glass. Right, yeah. And then he steps onto it. Yeah. It drops a tick-tax and they're like, that's a window. Just have him pick a lock or like kick the door. Have it be open. It doesn't matter. Why would you go through all the trouble? That's such a shitty glass freaking moment. Yeah. Right. Exactly. If you can't do the glass breaking, they do a different

thing. Yeah. So, but this guy that we barely see, he breaks into a house. He passes right by all the valuable jewelry and he goes straight for the gun and the, well, he goes to a desk and he starts looking through drawers until he finds a gun. Okay. Can I zoom out the camera slightly and talk about the meta implications of this given the plot of the movie? Sure. This guy gets out of jail.

We're going to learn that his plot is to go kill the person who killed his son, right? So are we expected to believe that he gets out of jail and just breaks into houses until he finds a gun? What not only that, but we're supposed to believe that it took exactly one house and exactly one piece of furniture for him to, I mean, this is America. So maybe that's, it's true. I mean, honestly, that might be the case, right? It might be. I feel like you just look for the first house that has more than one

American flag and you break in. Yeah. Anyone who's got a Punisher logo on their car. Okay. I'm going to find a gun in this. There's one holstered on the side of this car. Perfect. There you go. Yeah. Didn't even have to break in. I have a Supreme Court says you have to let him do it. So yeah. So he takes this gun, he leaves a little post it note on the guy's TV and also takes him cheap whiskey with him while he when he goes. You know, this trope always happens where they like grab the bottle of whiskey just once I want to watch a sketchy burglar make himself a nice old fashioned. Right with the big single ice cube and everything.

I thought he was going to leave a second post it. So he leaves the first one like, you know, like he clipped a parked car, but like I will have your house. Right, yeah, I'm sorry about that. And then he takes the whiskey and I want him to be like, okay, second post it and I still have your past four or so bottle.

Okay. And why don't you have ingredients for old fashioned? Question. Third post that and I took three post. I actually found some of the ingredients for old fashion. I took that too. So again, then we get the title, take it by grace. And then we cut to this couple out camping.

Now what the writer was going for was this is a couple that's having some trouble. What we actually get is Hillary Duff's sister. That's the character Carrie trying to turn everything into a fist fight. It's hailed up starring a hailed up that's Christian cinema in a goddamn. It really is. It is. We're celebrity adjacent guys. You know someone burst into the room and they were like, guys, I got

Hailey Duff will Hillary come to the premiere? No, she's busy. I got leather face from the chain Yep, well, I gotta say the other dude the guy who's played her husband His like known for us on IMDB include like production designer on God's not dead. So she is kind of a big star in these, in these circles. Perfect. Yeah. She's how they nabbed that Scottish actor after all. Yeah. Right. Right. So yeah, and I've got my nose like, are they just, are they desperately ad living or did someone actually write these words down?

We're gonna learn by the fact that all of the dialogue in the movie is this bad that yes, someone actually wrote all of this down. Do you think they wrote that down? Cause they're arguing about s'mores and he's burning his marshmallows, which is awesome. Because then it's the way that extra flavor acts to it. Yeah, she's yelling at it.

Like fuck you. No, of course you burn the marshmallow a little bit. And she's going like, stop burning all your marshmallows and he's like, I'm the one eating them. She's like, I know. I'm not prepared. I just have to be the bitchy wife right now, damn it. What's crazy is he goes, I like him like that. She says, no, you do.

Yeah. And then she accuses him of forgetting the chocolate. She's like, all right, I'm ready for chocolate. Whatever, I don't care about the marshmallow thing. We're making some more. Whereas the chocolate and he's like, I wasn't supposed to get the chocolate. She's like, I told you specifically,

you were supposed to get the chocolate and he starts yelling. He's like, you're gaslighting me right now about the mart. I don't, I do like marshmallows like that. You did not tell me and they just keep funny about that. That's the source of their marital problem right now. Yes. I also want to point out that they will continue to kind of have this fight for the next

90 minutes of the film about every single thing that comes up and also like the music has taken this smores fight way seriously like the like this is a divorce worthy fight. Yeah. Yeah. This is the kind of couple that starts a forest fire with their gender reveal. Absolutely correct. And I feel bad because, you know, she's, she's written right now. This character is written as this like horrible woman who's lying here, but she walks away and she's like, it's not about a marshmallow, Sean. And like, it was though. It was a tire. It was about that was a tire lay in my eyes. There's gas floating again. It was about that.

And then they both apologized later. So yeah, there's also this great moment where she's like, I'm gonna go sleep in the truck and we get to watch her hurrumbfully lay down in the back of this SUV where there's no room to actually lay down. So she curls herself up into this, like come on, like a dog couldn't sleep that girl's up, right?

She's doing the dog thing. She's circling and sying loudly. She tries to get comfortable on the pillow. She's digging. What are you doing, Hailey, dumb? It's no dirt there. Yeah, but then she comes back out. She's like, I'm sorry.

I've decided not to sleep on the truck. It has nothing to do with the fact that I had to curl up in. Right. And he says, I'm sorry, too, but no, like who was supposed to get the chocolate? That's the person whoever was supposed to, that's who has to apologize and nobody else. Yeah. Relationship advice from me. I was going to say, he right. That's how the world is supposed to work.

I don't want to part the curtain too far for the podcast listener at home, but most of Heath's notes from this scene are about the who was supposed to ring the marks and it was supposed to get their jobs right. Be correct. Do it right. That's what matters. So but just then as they're making up Robert De Bruce shows up. This is the main character.

He's the guy that broke into the house and he's the guy that played Robert De Brues in Braveheart. So he shows up to drunkenly hang out at their campfire. Is that do campers just like go over to neighbor campers and say hi? Do they use the word neighbor? Yeah, in neighbor. Yeah, I've had that happen a number of times. And you say hi like that?

Yeah, well, and here's the thing. There are approximately three million items that a camper that's next to you might ask to borrow from you. Hot dog buns is not generally one of those items. It's so funny. But who is supposed to buy the hot dog buns? Like, that's important. Hello, neighbors. I was just trying to buy not murder. I would like to borrow scupper sugar. Right. Normal. But here's the thing. He pulls out a gun like eight seconds from now, so he didn't need to make up the lie.

Right. He just be like, hi, I have a gun. Yeah, it's not like he talks them into a spot or anything. Yeah. right. So he's like, can I borrow hot dog buns and they're like, you can borrow hot dog buns and hot dogs. We brought hot dogs that we weren't going to use. It's like, really?

Why would you do that? Yeah, no, trust me. It was a whole thing. I started to roast it over the fire and she was like, wrong. You like him. Ross. You just said. And he's like, well, thank you. Would you like a drink

straight out of my whiskey bottle? And they're like, no, and he's like, what are you? Christian? Yes. Yes. His response to touch your mouth to where I touched my mouth is Mormons, huh? And of course they're like, well, yes, that's exactly why. But he explains he's not a Christian because he got kicked out of Christianity for chewing gum. Harry explains that hashtag not all Christians, right? Because it's also this weird moment where she's like, well, you know, it seems like if you got kicked out of Christianity for just that and didn't go back,

maybe you were just looking for an excuse to not go to church, I'm like, that's an awfully judgey tone to take with drunk guy you just smith. Yeah Also, like he says that he was like eight when he got kicked out. So he was like, I don't know, maybe you were just an asshole. Have you considered that? Right. Yeah. Maybe you were just an eight year old that was in love with his sin. I do have to say though, the response they give to the gum thing, I genuinely left out loud because she goes, our church isn't like that. It's cool. And your husband just goes, they allow gum. Yeah.

So yes, he pulls out the gun by now. I'm kind of rooting for him. And he's like, I need your car. And there's this great moment where Kerry, the wife says, I have the keys, but the actor doesn't have the, like, the husband actor has the keys. Right. So she has to go, I have the keys and then turn actor doesn't have the like the husband actor has the keys, right? So she has to go, I have the keys and then turn to Sean and say, give him the keys. He goes on. He shoots that.

We don't get to reshoot that. Okay. But then, and this is going to be an important plot point. We learned that this character's name is Lucas, the Robert the Bruce's character. He's Lucas Blackstone, what an the Bruce's character. He's Lucas Blackstone, what an awesome name they've given him there. Lucas doesn't know how to read a map and they don't have GPS for their truck. So he actually needs to kidnap them so they can direct him to the place he's going.

Okay. He reads though. We see that he can read and write words. Sure can. Reading a map beyond words is just looking at space for a reason. Thank you. That's not really. Well, who that's nothing. He says, I don't do map. Exact words. And by the way, this will be a running through line, by the way.

It's not like they just throw that out there. And that's the last time we hear about that in the movie. We will later watch him almost drown in a map. Right, yeah, exactly. He doesn't, he can't even unfold them. I get not being able to fold them back. That's a whole different story. But yeah. So to get the car and then he says, don't you guys have GPS? And Sean, the husband says, I don't need GPS. I can read a map. And I'm like, that's where the boomers are supposed to stand up and fist bump, guys.

Oh, that is what that was. Yeah, I bet that's why that line is there because the boomer's like, fuck, yeah, I don't know. Paper maps and we liked it. Yeah. Honey, you get on the dove channel and you give that five stars right now. Right, right. So, okay. So now we're going to cut to the cops that are checking out that bedroom that he took the gun from before. And can I just say I almost went with like best worst Psychic cops. Yes. These cops will walk into every space there ever in and be like well the script says we know what happens next So show he is right there like what's nearby here at campsite? I think you might be on to something Why would you think that?

Why would you assume anyone who broke into a house would then go to nearby area? Right. Well, he's gonna wanna probably check out the neighborhood, I guess. Yeah. You know how you do a burglary and then you do like a brief walking tour of the town. Right.

So they head out to the campsite and then we cut back to the abduction. Oh my God. This is where we watch Lucas struggle with the seatbelt, like a toddler. He's literally pulling as much, like you did when you were a kid. He's pulling as much seatbelt as he can until he hits the thing and then he's like letting go

and he goes like, Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv experience like with a physical body, a lot of this movie makes sense. Yes. I wrote my notes. I cannot stress how much of this movie will be this guy struggling to get out of everyday objects, seat belts, jackets, his emotions, etc. Just trying to stretch a map across his body and lock it in. That's all right. No, see, you don't see that's why I can't. That's why I need you guys. I need up. I'm stuck. So yeah, so this is where we learned that he's fresh out of prison and

Then we had back to the campsite where the cops find this hastily abandoned campsite, right? Yes now apparently They took the time to put the fire out. That's just good safety, but everything else they left right there Right and from this the cops are like well, there's no chance these people are anywhere but kidnapped. So we will assume they are kidnapped and on the road for the rest of this movie. Right. They're like, well, you know, the car's missing. I'm like, you know, because a lot of times people camp without cars. I'm like, very often there's a whole type of camp. It's so, but yeah, they're like, there's no car here.

Do you think maybe they just went and got, you know, some, some McDonald's or something? And they're like, no, that is not fucking possible. They're kidnapped. They've been abducted. They're kidnapped. Yeah. In the words of Sherlock Holmes, they're kidnapped. All right. So we cut back to the truck. Lucas is now going through Kerry's purse. Okay. Current theory. Lucas is a toddler who got big like Tom Hanks, and then he just has a gun. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, because he doesn't know how purses work very well.

Also, he picks up her money. They used fake money, guys. Yeah. That was fake fucking money. I zoomed in. They didn't have money money. No. And it's not like she had to have, it's not like it was a brief case full of $100 bills

or whatever, right? They needed like a realistic amount of money that some lady might have had in her, they needed the amount of money Haley probably had in her purse that day. Well, I think they went to the wrong Duff Sister for money in the purse level for off management.

But Lucas is like, well, you know, we've got 90 minutes to kill in this movie. Why don't you guys tell me your backstory? Oh my God. Seven year itch, am I right? Yeah. You guys open. A lot of this movie could be that. And they obviously couldn't do that in a Christian movie. It could be this guy just being like, are we doing a no? Okay.

I'm so much more attractive than Sean. I just and then we get this it's so lugged so he tries that maybe I don't know but then he's like so you got kids kids? No, I had kid gone now. I'm thinking of a person. Yeah, it's a kid's a lot of the movie will be exactly that. He's doing small talk. Yeah, he's so bad at it that he's doing like his dead kids small talk. There are multiple scenes in the movie where a character pauses and goes. Yes, right. Over and I there's this is this is anyway the movie. Yeah, it's okay. So we check back in with the cops. They found the chick's cell phone, right? They called it and then used the magical GPS towers to determine where it was. So they drive to the side of the road

where Lucas is thrown it out, right? He threw it out of the car when he was checking out the contents of the purse. So that's where the cops wind up. The notion that these cops would do any of this within a month of these people being dead and buried is the most fantastical part of the movie. And in the universe of this movie, God exists.

Right. Yeah. So, okay. So then we cut to the kidnapped guys getting gas. Sean needs to pee, right? So he's like, he's like, hey man, I gotta go and use the bathroom. They're like, why is it?

Cause we need a scenery change. This has been the fucking truck and the damn cops over and over again. We gotta do something. It's a guy. All right. We'll head to the bathroom. Oh, and the scene with Sean trying to figure out what he can be a guy for in this bathroom into an escape plan is phenomenal. Every single one of us have way too long with the plunger in our. What was he thinking? He was, you know, if I shove this up his ass, maybe he'll

get excited about the butt stuff. He's been in prison, you know? Well, yeah, he grabs the plunger and he looks and then he turns it over. Yeah. And looks at the, I like, what did you were checking the other side of it for weapon stuff? See if there was a gun hiding in there or something. Yeah.

Also, just now you're touching the plunger in a public bathroom all in the bottom. So much. Come on, man. And of Also, just now you're touching the plunger in a public bathroom all in the bottom. So much. Come on, man. And of course, we see here. So as he walks by to get to the bathroom, the cashier is asleep on the counter. And the cashier is the only funny man in Christian film, Tori Martin. Tori Martin. Do we know, we, I feel like we know this guy from the kidnapping, the other kidnapping movie. Yeah, the funny kidnapping movie. He's been in a couple of movies that we've seen Oh, the funny one. Yeah, yeah, the funny red-haired guy. No idea what we're talking about.

Tori Martin is second only to David A. R. White's divorce in the things about this job that make me happy. So yeah, so but Tori Martin is to cashier, but he's asleep. He sleeps through this whole scene, even when Lucas buys some stuff, it just puts money on his head. It's quite funny. We're to watch him like do the taxes and pull out the coins and everything. Right. So, okay. Yeah, right.

So, okay. And then we got back to Sean. Sean has finally come up with something like, okay, that plunger didn't have a gun in it. I'm going to write some stuff on the mirror with soap. And I'm like, wow, man, you should have come up with something like, okay, that plunger didn't have a gun in it. I'm gonna write some stuff on the mirror with soap, and I'm like, wow, man, you should have come up with that. Way sooner. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Also, the thing he writes is so stupid. Yes! He writes in soap on the mirror, kidnaped the name of the road they're on. So just like, I am kidnaped here. Right, this is the road that the gas station is on. Obviously you were on that road at that time. We know where you were when you were on that.

No. I am writing this now me in time and space today. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, right. And look, he knows that obviously he knows the making model of his car. He might know his license plate. He knows the address where they're going. Yeah. It would have been better for him to try to draw the bad guy in soap. Yup. More useful. So yeah. But of course, Lucas comes in and sees the mirror. The note that he's left

on the mirror and he's like, Hey, wipe that mostly off, but not all the way. Let's go. Actually, you know what? That's super dumb. It doesn't matter. Don't even. That's not helpful to anybody. Even in this own in this fucking movie. Okay, crazy billionaire remake of this movie, he aggrly storms into fine Sean taking his shit. He's just like, wait a minute, what are you doing to start? Are you? You were taking a while, yeah.

You should know. I thought I only had to pee, but then I got in here and. I was worried maybe you found a gun in the plunger. Yeah. So. All right, so he mostly webs up, they go back to the car,

and now Lucas is gonna zip tie Shawn's wrists to the steering wheel to make sure he doesn't try anything else, which like, what if he has to use the turn signal or put the car in drive? Yep. Like there's so much shit you need to do that requires you not to have your hands zip tied to the steering wheel.

Also, he wasn't zip tied this whole time until now. So like, whatever, nothing new is going to happen. Right. Well, yeah, it's not like the drawing the fucking note on the mirror with soap would have been helped by him being zip tied to the steering. Well, unless he's supposed to pee there from now on. In fact, that's like a really good signal to this kidnabber to be steering. Well, unless he's supposed to pee there from now on. In fact, that's like a really good signal

to this kid now, but to be like, oh, this guy's fucking dumb. I don't have to do any of this. Yeah, Russ. But he rode here on a mirror. Yeah. Also, I just have to point this out that as he's doing that, Lucas is breathing so heavily

that the other actors become concerned for him. He's like, oh, Tr'm trying to show you a fucking. I have to point out too that they actually show a close up of him putting the zip tie in backwards. Yep, they sure do. So you didn't notice that that went in a little easily there. Yeah, look at luckily, they're all, um, okay. So later that night, Lucas is in the back seat, shoveling down potato chips

with all the refinement and sophistication of a 12th century English peasant. We cannot communicate to you how long people chew potato chips. It's bizarre. It's bizarre. Well, okay. So there's the suspense of this scene is that Sean is trying to get his nail clippers off of the console so that he could use them to like clip the zip ties around his wrist, right? And the whole time he's doing that, he's try drops him on the floor and has to pick him up with his feet. No, that shit. We're just listening to Lucas eat potato chips. That's all he has. No lines. That's the only day on the script. So he used, we watch him eat one at the beginning. And then he's stacking him. He's just like, what about four time?

Young, I can do four eight. Yeah. And then he starts asking them about their boring ass life. And I was like, Oh my God, I wish Marsh was on so he could feel better about his American accent. Yeah, it's more terrible small talk. He's like, so you guys, you guys eat dinner, like a dinner table or do you just like watch TV at the cup table? What? Why are we talking about this?

Do you pick a show to binge together? Or do you like rotate? I pick you pick. I pick you pick. I have a gun. You have to talk to me. If you have to, do you have to hear about plus? So and then he starts talking about how hot, Hayley Duff is like, your wife is very beautiful.

And just then Sean gets his zip ties unclipped. So we have a silliness fight. Oh my God, it's amazing. Okay, first of all, no, we should talk about the silliness fight. I just have to point out that when he's complimenting Hillary Duff's sister, he does like the, he's like, she's so, and then he looks at hailey Duff and he's like, weren't you getting out of those handcuffs to get a bunch of real quick things to do? Man, so average height. The script very clearly has a hyphen after the word, so.

Well, it, so, okay, the writer, when they penned this fucking masterpiece, obviously imagine some hair raising mid- car combat as the car swerved around the road or whatever, but they're not allowed to get footprints on the seats of this car, right? They don't have footprints on the seats kind of money. So always see is like he just stops the car a little too quickly. And then we see him in a shoulder shaking match immediately afterwards. Him and Luke, He pulls over. And he's supposed to be angry husband.

And so he like pulls over, he harks. Yeah. And then he has to dive sideways and backwards into the back seat at the kidnap. But he comes up short with the dive, because you know, it's a car with like a console in there. Right. Yeah. It kind of gets stuck on the hump of the center console and he's just like, and Lucas

lean forward. Yeah. Right. Lucas leans forward to help him out. And she's like, oh, well, yeah, you're not going to be able to reach over that console. Yeah. Let me lean forward so you can at least touch my zipper. Yeah.

So they get in their shoulder shaking match. He gets out of the car. The car is running. Right. Lucas steps out of the car and walks around to the other side of it. They have so much time to leave right now. Yeah. Keep in mind that he steps around the car at Lucas speeds, too. So he like stops for a breather. He takes a knee at a daytime CPAP speeds. Yes, exactly. They could just drive away, but they don't. He opens the door. He's like, get out of the car and then he takes the key and they're like, oh, you know, we should have Fuck never mind So then he forces them into the back of the SUV as though they're in a trunk

But it's not a trunk because it's a SUV right they could just climb over the seat and be back In the truck. They're not in a different compartment or honestly if they had done that if they had gone around to the front. The curls over and starts to strangle him again. But he's like, what do I do? He gets to map and this is the part where of course he can't figure out how maps work. He's like, how do I hold this in front of my face? Okay. Honest genuinely, if the rest of this movie had just been

this actor rolling around on the map like like, Kug, there has to be a power one. When she wants attention, I was fucking in. Hey, I thought he was gonna try and jump into the map, like, door of the explorer. Well, also, while he's doing that, we cut back to Carrie and Sean and Carrie's like, hey, when you, when you jumped over the console halfway and grabbed that guy, zipper. It was fucking hot.

I got to say I was fucking, I was what? I was physically dominated by the older guy who is very drunk and having trouble breathing constantly, but like, but still on the way, but a forever. And by, I mean, anal. So she's like, you know, so do you, hey, you want to, you want to knock out a quick hero? And she's like, you know, we're, we're fucking kidnapped, right? She's like, yeah, you know, but just then, exactly Lucas shows back up. He opens the thing and he apologizes for overreacting, right? She's like, yeah, you know, but just then exactly Lucas shows back up. He opens the thing

and he apologizes for overreacting, right? He's like, I really got carried away when you when you left. Oh, did you mind just doing the same thing we were doing before this scene starts? And they're like, all right, but only if you pinky swear not to make it weird. Yeah, I wrote my notes. I'm allowed to say I want to fuck your wife. You're not allowed to be offended by that. This guy slash Noah's inbox. Sorry. Well, tell you what, it's never a good sign when act one ends with the actress agreeing to a do over. So we're going to pause to write our heads, but we're back in a flash with even more

taken by grace. Okay, what if we froze the water? That's ice, dude, not food. But you didn't chew it. Hey, guys, what are you doing? Oh, hey, no, I heathen I was just trying to figure out how to feed everyone during matriot this year. Yeah, Eli's vegan, Thomas's pescatarian, you only eat hot pockets, so it's like a whole

thing. Plus, Martian, Nicola, or British, so if the food has too many spices, they die. Die? I don't think that last one is real. Look, guys, if you're trying to deal with a house of picky eaters, why not try Hello Fresh? Oh, what's... Hello Fresh. With Hello Fresh, you get farm fresh,

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Alright, well, problem solved. So what were you guys working with before I told you about Hello Fresh? Ice? Mostly ice, yeah. I don't really like ice. Okay, yep, there it is. You know, your life is a beautiful woman. If I was mad to so women that beautiful.

You kick your damn hands off of her, sir. RAAAARGH! Yeah, I'm fine. Leave the car now. I'm leaving. Wow, that was, uh, that was really heroic. I'll always fight for you, babe. No, I mean like, I mean like that was a-ha. Uh, I mean, thank you. Like, we I mean, like that was a hot. I mean, thank you. Like, we're still very much in danger, though.

In danger of drowning in sploosh, you know what I mean? Okay, Kerry, we're still kidnapped, though. Are we? Are we kidnapped? Because I'm pretty sure I could slip right out of these zip ties using only sploosh for kid. If you know what I mean, don't know he's blue. Are you guys okay back there.

Oh yeah man, we're fine. No, no, we're not. He's in danger. He's in a lot of danger. Oh he is? Of drowning in sploosh. Please stop saying sploosh. You guys are weird.

And we're back for more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the action with the cops getting to that gas station that Tory Martin worked at. Yes, he's going to wake up in this scene. We're gonna get Tory Martin Tory Martining it up Yeah, there's been a theme of Tory Martin tries to save the shitty Christian Where last couple of episodes? Yeah, you know, they the cops come in they he tried he did his been tried did his best they wake him up and he wakes up He's got a dollar bills stick into his face because come on. They he tried. He did his been tried. Did his best. They wake him up and he wakes up. He's got a dollar bill stick into his face because come on. That's that's fucking funny. And they're like,

Hey, man, did anybody come in here while you were asleep? And he's like, that's a stupid fucking thing to ask me. And I'm going to answer it. Let me ask my lucid dreaming self, crap. Thor. Yeah. But he's like, no, no, no customers came in. I didn't fall asleep and they're like, dude, there was literally money on your head just now where Lucas put it when he paid for his shit.

Do you just lay your head down with money on your head? Is it right? Right. Yes. It's for my hubby. And so this is where the writer has to do technology, right? And they're like, this movie might as well be set in 2071. I'm not a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I cops are like, I see your surveillance camera. Let me see the video on this. He's like, yeah, I have a full color video playback machine that can immediately find the second you're looking at right beside my cash register. What? I got pork skin fingers though. You have to do the touch screen.

So yeah, so they look at the fog of video. They zoom in in hands. Yep. And then one of the cops says to Tory Martin. Print that. Print that. Yes. Printed from your security camera printer. That this backwoods gas station has attached to their color playback monitor on the fucking counter. And Tory Martin goes, of course, I'm, it's already printed. Yeah. I wanted it to come out of the receipt printer and it's really super long. You got Walgreens receipt. God dammit. I just wanted to picture the top. So yeah, so they, they, they, the other cop goes in to check out the bathroom and see if there's any

messages on the mirror. And while he's doing that portory desperately tries to interject a bit of humor in here, he's got some clue jokes because they're cops. There's detectives and he likes to play clue. Yeah, he's like, I'm basically a cop now, right? Because I'm helping you got, I did the video thing and the printing thing is crazy. Obviously, that's nothing. But like, I hell, I pressed the, well, I didn't really press the button because I'm helping you got I did the video thing and the I mean the printing things crazy. Obviously that's nothing But like I hell I pressed the well, I didn't really press the button because I had the fingers but like I'm helping

And then he's like I'm really good at glue. Yes, okay. I didn't exaggerate the tone of that line No, he said it in a sexy whisper, right? Yeah, my note is I think Tori is offering to suck them both off and honestly I'm here for And then so okay, so the other cop sees that the message is still legible on the fucking mirror, right? They're on route four of course that's where they are already, so it doesn't matter It's such a great moment where he's like kidnapped route four. That's nothing. That's I had that information. He runs back out partner.

We're on route four. No, okay. Yeah, I thought I had a thing that's he didn't even put northbound on there. He didn't even write which I like we know because the campsite is south of us but Jesus. And by the way, in the time it took cop number two to check the bathroom, cop number one has already gotten the fucking printout from Tory Martin and the cops have identified the man in the video. Yes.

He's like, this is Lucas Blackstone. He got out of jail for manslaughter just yesterday. Like how the fuck would you know that? Tom Cruise is in the corner holding a wooden ball and scribe with his name being like, this is very unrealistic guys. This makes no fucking sense. Hold on, let me see that printout. Let's compare it to the soap drawing of this guy. Yeah, the guy's name. He could have written that on the, yeah. So okay, then we come back to the truck where Lucas is loudly breathing at us.

It's time for more inappropriate questions. He opens with, I'm curious. What would you do if I killed your wife? Stay with me. Stay with, I am going somewhere. To be fair, I've, I've, I've like gone through our Q and A questions, but this is not the most awkward one. Like this was one of the questions it wouldn't be the worst one we've ever gotten. So you know what he's trying to get to is I'm asking about that because I'm asking just in general if it's cool to avenge a murder with a murder. I just want to know your opinion on that. Yeah. Sorry, I had the hypothetical thing involved murdering your specific wife. I get how? What is the presidential debate?

I really want to shone to answer too fast. Like, oh, no, I'd probably marry her friend Kimberly. Like, I've always got to buy. So she mad. I'm not looking. Yeah, but of course, they're like, we would forgive them because we're Christians and we're better than other people and he's like no Come on if I killed her would have would have I killed her with a knife slowly

Yeah, it's okay, and again like they haven't written out the dialogue so he's like no you would and it's like I wouldn't Yes, you would I wouldn't Okay, believe I'm gonna say this but I am reading the script right now. Yes I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I am reading the script right now. Yes, you will. This is also where he tells us the tragic backstory of the guy who murdered his son. His son was murdered by a man named Trigg, which is short for Triggur, which is what they called him as a kid, because he was so good at guns. Yeah.

And we see a tiny little hint of a flashback here, which we're going to go back to several more times. We see that his son was killed in a hunting accident in the woods, right? Right, but the movie doesn't seem to, I mean, that's, that's what happens. But and maybe I'm wrong about this, but I thought that it was trying to show us that like Trink just happened to be dressed as a hunter while he murdered his child. I'm very confused. Well, right. Yeah, that's kind of what they're getting at. Like, like, like, the guy took the kid out into the woods and hunted him or something.

Yeah. Yes. So we, we come back to the cops who are heading into, you know, to a non-specific place on Route 4, looking for possibly cars. And this is where they find out that Lucas was a Marine. This never matters. Yeah, he got discharged. That's important. Yeah. Bubble gum, I guess. See, I was really hoping that his inability to read a map got his whole platoon kill. Yeah. But they find out that he got discharged for like having a rough go of it and am or whatever. And the cops are like, wow, that's not even not even a relevant

plot thread. What what where are we going? Right. But they also find out that he has an ex-wife that lives up route for. So he's probably going there. Yeah. We learn one of the cops' names here. It's Gundersen. Oh, is it? Yeah, so very clearly these people trying to come up with it. What's what's a name for cop gun? What? Derson Make Gunders. Polisa No, make gun stuff. Yeah, Lisa. You think the first name of the cop is polisa. Is that what I'm saying? So polisa Simpson. So we head back to the SUV and

carries diabetes is kicking it, right? She needs to eat some. Okay, but this is the best part. I also wrote that I was like, Oh, she has diabetes or something, but no, it's just low blood sugar. So I really wanted the rest of the movie just for her to be angry. Right. Like, and I remember my boy and she's like, Oh my God, finish your story. Mary, I feel like it could also she's not feeling well. Could be the kidnapping thing, too. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. Cause that's all it's it's fructose malabsorption, apparently. Yeah. So so they're like, yeah, we got to stop and get her food or bad things. And he's like, Oh, you know, we wouldn't want bad things. So let's go to a quote unquote different gas station, certainly not the same one from before. You guys were expecting fat guy in a mustache, right? Behind the counter. Hello, different station. This time, welcome. Yeah. Is your shirt on backwards? That's nothing. Also, I have to point out. So Lucas is like, oh, well, give me the key and I'll go in and get her a banana or whatever. My wife and I both have keys to our car. Yep, right?

Like so like this plan would we would thwart this dude so fucking easy. Yeah, but he has to go inside so they could try and make a plan while he's not there, but they just spend the entire time arguing about whether they should make a plan instead of making a plan. Right. Who's fault it is that they don't have a plan. Yeah. And then they finally realize, all right, we haven't made a plan yet. We need to figure out a plan. He's standing right behind me.

He's in the game back. And he's right there. What's the plan guys? What plan? Right. He says, he says to carry, he's like, you and he's right there. What's the plan guys? What plan? Right. He says, he says to carries like you have to distract him. He's like their whispering, but he's like in between the two of them at that point. Yeah. Yep. We need to figure out a plan. I'd like a chip, pass the chips. So he gets back to the car with her banana and he says, Hey, you know, before we leave,

I want to really dig into the least interesting storyline that we've got going on. That would be the fact that you two are fighting, right? This is where he learns that the real reason that she's mad about his marshmallows and bananas is because he had enough fare. Yeah. Okay. I have to point out the acting in this scene is so bad. This like confessing thing is so bad that my notes for this scene are based on my incorrect

assumption that he's lying about an affair and that she was the one who actually had it. So I spend literally the rest of the movie being like, when are they going to reveal that Haley had an affair? Nope, they're just such terrible actors. I lost the entire plot of the film for 12 minutes. Wow. I liked Blackstone's acting though, in this movie. I liked his act.

I liked his power move, chip eating. I liked every part of this actor for some reason. Well, honestly, when you put him up against all of these folks, yeah, he really stands out. It's true. Right, and at this moment, he really stands out. It's true. Yeah. Right. And at this moment, he got bored with the kidnapping and he's like, I want to be a marriage

counselor now. So he just starts asking him more questions and he finds out about the affair and he's like really having fun with it. Like he's a, like a talk show host. Yeah. Yeah. He's moving back and forth between, so she's in the back seat and Sean is in the front. And he's like moving back and forth like he's doing a 60 minutes interview between them. I don't know how do you feel about that. Yeah, was she was she hot was was

was she the girl you cheated out with. He had no fair. Oh, he's holding him back. Morey's suddenly outside the car now to. Yeah. Yeah. And again, just to be clear, the plot of this movie is that Lucas is avenging his child's murder and he has paused that to bother this couple with marital problems. That's what this movie is about right now. At one point, the couple's like, can we just keep doing the kidnap and please? Is it your, is it your son's killer getting away? Lucas Flaxton the kidnapper's like no Sean we cannot stop talking about this. I am enjoying I have a gun you have to do whatever I say we're still doing the kidnapping

but this now yeah and Carrie meanwhile is going like please stop I'm not a good enough actor to maintain this level of emotion much longer. Okay. At this point, I was like, all right. If this guy Lucas Blackstone is actually secretly an amazing couples counselor doing a long concert. Oh, the best movie and the greatest therapy ever created. Yeah. Doing a Jack Nicholson anger man. Yeah. Exactly. All right. So yeah, but they finally they get through this marriage counseling scene later on were in the same fucking car.

Luke is still making excessive mouth noises. Now we get the fact that he's drinking beers this whole time as well. Oh, it's so good. He switched the beer, but he's drinking the beer like it's potato chips sometimes. He's somehow chewing his beer. He's crushing the beer sips every sips like a power move victory. There's that you over the side of the beer. It's the best. I love this guy. He's awesome. He's a really good actor. So yeah, so this is where he's going to really go into the backstory about his dead kid.

You know, he tells him that his kid got shot in a hunting accident and he says, this is so fucking weird. He says my kid lived for four hours. He was really tough. The doctor said he should have been dead like that and he snaps and I'm like, what the fuck kind of conversation were you have? Like the doctor was like, actually, you know what, four hours is pretty good. I mean, it feels bad.

No, but your kid was like, that's near record time given where he was shot. Hey, Doc, when does like a normie kid die? I compared to my awesome kid, just like our right away, you say. Oh, I love the idea of the doctor coming into like the grieving room and being like, I'm trying to do like a good news, bad news thing. Bad news kid is dead. Good news. Wow.

For fucking hours, he managed to suffer. It was incredible. I skipped my whole lunch. Your son canceled my lunch with his strength and power. Now he's in the void. Just screaming. You know, just eternal blackness. But four hours before I thought he was gonna

his Jesus. He's got some chips. So stupid. But yeah, but then so he explains this whole story. Sean warns him about the dangers of vigilante justice, right? He also goes way too far with his offer. He's like, Hey, you shouldn't kill the guy who killed your kid.

We could get you some help. We'll be a detective team and track down the guy who did it. And I'm like, oh, Sean, you can just say you'll give him some help. You're not a fucking former Scooby squad. Yeah. But he explains that jail is too good for the guy who killed his son. He deserves to die. And then I was all three some euphemisms. And like, I didn't catch. Oh, you're really bad at all three some euphemisms and like I didn't catch it. Oh, you're really bad at catching three some euphemisms. So yeah, I can't confirm you are bad at catching three some euphemisms. I've never had the opportunity to miss those that they make sense. Both know I can confirm you have maybe we have watched you with our eyes.

Those euphemisms. It was going to be a cool one. At least one of them. Yeah. At least one. I would have, I would have agreed to a two way with either, but it's stupid. All right. So yeah. So the cops pull up to, now I guess Lucas's ex wife's house. Yeah. We meet this character in sort of a speed meeting type of way. This is so funny.

They have this thing where like all the information that they would introduce about what's going on in the movie is stuff we already know. So you can watch the actors be like, hey, the movie is happening. Yeah. Can we cut to the scene where you give us back story? Right well, and also they're trying to hide this tiny tiny little twist ending where like it's so fucking obvious before I guess there that no one can say anything without revealing it. So we constantly have scenes like this one where the cops show up and they're like, we'd

like to talk to you. And she says off camera and they're like off camera. Yes. We hear you have a dead son who was dead in a situation. He was come in and I shall talk about it vaguely. Yeah, exactly. But they tell her that he's, he's got a gun. He's kidnapped some people and he's heading right towards her. Anyway, have a good night, you know, they really just get back in their car. All right. Paul, I don't want to want to be needing anything. Yep. So, yeah,

but they're going to wait at that house for him though. They think he's, they think he's there. So meanwhile, back with the fucking Christian power couple, Lucas needs to pee. So we have multiple needs to pee scenes in this movie. Okay. The actor who plays Lucas very clearly fucks with the movie here because before he pees completely straight face, he turns to Sean and goes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle,

the lion eats tonight and then leaves. No one laughs, no one indicates that that is a song lyric. No, everyone's just like, yup, those are lines we wrote for you in the movie. And then he walks out of frame and he's like, 20 bucks for that, 20 bucks for Christopher Walkin' Thing. I'm winning, so I'm doing it. I'm already Walkin' Thing, I'm winning so I'm ready. I'm already quadruple, but I was being paid for this movie.

Yeah, right. Also, he goes to pee at this point, and then we get a quick little scene in the car with the couple, but he does a primal pee scream. From the backhand. From the backhand. Yes, a lot. It was a really good primal pee scream.

Yeah, he can. I enjoyed it. Not enough kidnapping movies have a back to it. Yes, a lot. It was a really good primal piece. I enjoyed it. Not enough kidnapping movies have a guy in the background just being like, oh yeah. Oh yeah. And of course, well, he's being Sean and and Carrie are failing to come up with a, they're like having a couple's fight instead of a planning session at the same time. Once again, just as he gets in, he's like, all right, you're gonna have to distract him. He's in the car. Sorry. What was that? Oh, Lucas, distract yourself.

And this is where Haley sings. And it's rough. Yeah. Because this, this was very clearly like my sister's known for her voice, but I can see. He's literally at one point, he goes, wow, she's got a beautiful boy. Yeah, no, you're right, you're right. He, this guy was a pretty good actor. What? He should've done another primal scream at this moment. It would have helped. Yeah. Oh, John, did you want to interrupt me before I have to say anything about it?

Yeah, but she sings amazing grace to distract him and she distracts him so that he doesn't see the sign that shows that they're not going in the direction that he's asked them to go. They're like taking them the wrong way now away from the person he wants to kill. Yeah, their plan now is to drive forever for all of time and presumably for her to sing amazing grace for like four seconds each time they approach a new song. Yeah, right. Any sign that has the name of the street there. Mary had a little limb. So boobs now that I have your attention. Never mind. All right, so now the ex wife, we cut to her like making tea for the cops.

If you're a cop in a movie, you have to drink so much fucking tea. I don't really like tea. That's why I can't be a movie cop. Sure. I always make a tea. So she's talking about, she's giving him T and talking about how much their son's death is the single factor in Lucas's character bio. There's a tiny moment I want to talk about where he's like, and what about the marriage? And she just very casually says, marriages don't survive that trust me. And everyone nods along like, no, I've heard that. I heard that your marriage can't let your kid die. Yeah, yeah. So and this is where she trots out the little, um, the gloves yard stick thing. Oh my God.

I, okay, be honest. Did you guys have any idea what an a tremendous amount of time would be dedicated to this stupid fucking? The writer was so proud of his little mitten contraption. Yeah. So she pulls out, she's like, hey, look at this thing that I have conveniently stowed right behind this particular wall that we're standing next to. This is something that Lucas made for our kid.

It just like comes out of the floor like it's the Stanley cup and there's a theme. Steam rises little pepper. Yeah. And what it is is it's two yard sticks that are finangled together in such a way that you can draw them out like telescope them or whatever. And they've got stuffed mittens on either side. And it says, your daddy loves you this much on them. So, so two yards at most. Yeah, maximum love of less than two meters. Yeah, if you got this every play, you wouldn't even get a first down. Yeah, exactly. Imagine the actual moment where you tried to reveal this to your child where you're like, Hey, I know you've been wondering lately if Daddy loves you. Well, would I have built a Carrot Top Esk profit by the...

Yeah. Well, as she says, she's like, and every night he would go and he would move it a little bit further out, which means that it started off as just three feet, right? He's like, I love you, you know, about as tall as you are, maybe a little less. And the kid was like, oh, you know what?

A little bit more love now. I felt a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little,

a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, little, a little, a little, a little, a little, little, a little, little, little, a, a little, You have to do some trig to figure out. Trigg. How much daddy loves you. So then one of the cops and she's like, you know, but then the sundyte and he turned into a bad person and the cops is, you know, when he got, when he went into this store to get his noisy potato chips, he paid for them in a very non criminal way. They're still good in him.

Yeah. I know he's kidnapped people, but we think the chip paying really is a better indicator of his character. Ha, ha, ha. So okay, so we head back to the car and now Kerry's like trying to awkwardly distract him every 11 seconds when the route number comes up. We get this amazing moment where he does that.

You know how like if you try to take your jacket off in a car, there's never in a fucking room to do it. We watch him do that for like 12 minutes. Okay. Both Heath and I have done this either because of an ebriation or the size of our torso. I felt very attacked by this. At one point, he makes the classic fact. I'm a state of trying to go over the head.

No. And then he's trapped in his jacket for a minute. Now your shirt to go over the head. No, and then he's trapped. Jack. Now you're sure it's coming up with it. Oh, no, guaranteed. Carrie, please, please pull my shirt down. All right, now the shirt's getting stuck on boot sweat, but the jacket's moving to my back with the jacket on. All right, go back to the beginning.

I'm going back down to everything back down to everything starting over. Oh, it's got my hair. It's got my hair. Oh, no. There's a map. My glasses are in my state. My glasses are in my sleep. I'm just like, I write my notes like, this is the time to fight back, man. He is already tied. You could just, you know, stop now and you'd have probably a time to run away slowly get out of the car.

You could just stop and watch him kill himself in his jacket. Mother in his own jacket. Yeah. Yeah. Do a Walter White. But yeah, but, but this is of course where he realizes that they're going the wrong way.

And he's very angry and yelling with them now. Right. But again, he's made it so obvious at this point, he's not going to shoot him that he's just like, to get cabinet grab your wife and his blackout. Yeah, right. So they pull over to the side of the road and show him it's like, I'm not going to help you murder somebody and he's like, give me the keys, dammit.

And Sean throws the keys out of the car, down a little cliff next to him. Okay, let me help you podcast, Lister. This is supposed to be a big cliff and not like a very obvious ditch. No, no, we see it in very next to you. It's in the daylight. It is not okay, but he fucking hangs himself up like cliff hopper. Yeah, I was supposed to definitely beat something. Yep. No, in the writer's mind, it was a fucking sheer drop. As it is, it's like, you know, one of those things that you probably used to walk down on your hike, but not to walk back up, right? So yeah, so he throws this key out of the car like a fucking toddler.

It's hilarious. He might as well eat the keys. Yeah. No, oh, wow, it's really big. I said, we have a map. Yeah, so Lucas gets mad, punches him in the face, in the face hard enough to knock him out. So very hard punch to the face.

That was funny though. It was. He's like, all right, I threw the keys. What are you going to do now, kidnapper? All the wrong things. I actually don't need a gun to kill you. You're so much smaller than me. I don't even know what I'm gonna do,

but now I've punched you in the face so I can think about it. This makes me happy. It made Heath happy too. Yeah, right, there you go. And then he drags carry out of the car ominously and we do a very slow and very long fade to black. All right. Well, tell you what, that's this movie's idea of climactic and exciting. So we're

going to pause to let all that action sink in. Let you catch your breath and whatnot or at least let the actor that plays Lucas Blacks don't catch his breath. It does really stop like a commercial, like a television commercial for a while. Yeah. But first, let me give you the act through the hard sell here. Is it even possible to give a shit about Sean's affair? Are we going to watch them play? I spy at some point in this movie. If not, what the hell are they going to do with the other 30 minutes of runtime? By now, the answers to these questions and more, when we return for the hip-negodgic

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That's 25% off your subscription or try it free at fitbot.me slashgam. All right, I'm sold. So yeah, I think I'm gonna skip this, man. You don't wanna get scrunched. No, no, I don't want to get scrunched. Thank you all set. Hey, are you the night manager here? Oh, yeah, that's me.

Listen, buddy, we got a word on a break-in, which led us to a campsite. Yeah, at the campsite, we found info, which led us to a campsite. Yeah, at the campsite, we found info which led us to a cell phone, which, you know, we GPS tracked to the side of a highway. Then using our detective skills, we figured the people in question might have stopped through here. Anything you can tell us? Yeah, actually a guy stepped through here with a couple. He was kind of beardy looking nervous.

That's our man. And the couple, we believe they may be in danger. Oh Yeah, they were a black couple both with short hair. Um, he was wearing jeans. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait They were black. Yeah, and she was wearing I think it's best we go back to the station and wait to see how this plays out I'm yeah, I'm gonna burn all this paperwork. I'm sure everybody's fine. Great Yikes. Yeah, so if you hear about a white couple going missing, you go ahead and give us a call. Okay. Stay white.

And we're back for still more of this shit. When we last saw our hero, Sean got knocked the fuck out and Lucas dragged Kerry from the car. And we're going to rejoin the action with a 14-minute establishing shot of day now as Sean slowly comes to. We're going to rejoin the action with a 14 minute establishing shot of day now as Sean slowly comes to. So you knocked him out for an eight hour night of sleep, apparently?

Yeah, by hitting him in the cheek in the, how? Or he just punched him in the face and it was like, okay, so we're at an impasse in terms of this argument. You want to sleep on it? Okay. Yeah. One of the other. So he looks out the car and he sees that Lucas is passed out next

to the car and that his gun is like slightly further away. So he's got an opportunity to leap out of the car and get a hold of the gun. So to be clear, Lucas knocked him out, did something, placed the gun several feet away from himself and took a nap nearby on the ground outside the car. The reality of this situation is only going to get crazier from there. Yeah. So he jumps out, he grabs the, well, first he's got to cut the zip ties, which apparently are on his wrist again.

Never saw that happen. And it wasn't that way earlier. But anyway, he cuts the zip times. He jumps out. He gets the hold of the gun and just that Lucas wakes up and he's like, where's Carrie? And he goes, right, I killed her with my gun. I bet you're going to shoot me now. Huh? Remember when I asked what you would do, if I kill there, you said, you're going to do, I bet you do. I bet you do. Okay.

Can I spoil fucking thing here or no? Oh, absolutely. Cause it's stuff. Okay. At this point, this is when I realized for sure that this was what was happening. He's trig. He's obviously fucking trig and he wants to kill himself because he said that he killed his own kid in a hunting accident.

And now he's trying to get Sean to help him with that. But he's not. but he's not. It's a trick. Exactly. Tests. Right. What was, I don't understand the test part of it. What has been accomplished?

So he's just testing to see if they would really, if Sean would really try to kill him, or if he would really turn him in the way that he said that he would earlier. But he's taken the bullets out of the gun. Right. Right. The gun is not loaded. The guy is trying to kill himself. It would make a lot of fucking sense for him to just not take the bullets out of the fucking gun. Right. The test, either you win your thing or the. So stupid. Yeah. But Sean ultimately is like, no, I won't shoot you even though you killed my wife Because I don't believe in vigilante justice getting the car and he's like, oh, it was all a test

You don't actually have bullets. How about that shit, huh? And then Sean gives him back the gun All right, well if it was a test. I can't think of any reason why you wouldn't have this They're saying they're standing next to the cliff right that the what's supposed to be this steep drop cliff, he could just throw the gun over the side. But no, he's like, oh, well, all right, I passed the test. I guess this is your property. This guy is such a good marriage counselor. I'm telling you.

It's amazing. It's a long, it comes genius. Yeah, he says, no, it turns out that no, I didn't kill your wife. She's tied up just I Literally drug her out of sight tied her up gagged her and then laid dead laid my gun down and then laid And next to it on the fucking next to the fucking tire of your car until you woke up in the morning and then I was like in the morning. And then I was like, me me me this tree. Like he's she's like to the point where she would have been like, oh, stand up. I didn't think of stand up. Shit. She might as well be bread tied to the telephone. Just spun around and tucked under the tree. Yeah. So it's just

a map wrapped around her. I also just have to point this out a card drives by the backgrounds. Yeah, it's supposed to be this deserted ass road where like for hours, she's been tied to this tree now. And then just yeah, there's just some commuters in the background. That's fun. Just some lady tied up in gag next to the road. Yeah, I bet you this is like a Christian test thing. Maybe a marriage counselor doing like a long time. I don't know, it's fine. We're going to keep driving.

Well, where the other I'm already running late and I need time to get a cigarette before I clock in. So we're just saying, where is that Hillary? Nope, nope, nope, nope. I'm already running late and I need time to get a cigarette before I clock it. So. Wait a second. Wait a second. Is that Hillary Dup? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Not Hillary Dup. We can keep going. So he unties her, he gets her out and she says it's over and he's like, no, it's not believe it not. There's still another 20 fucking minutes in this thing even though everybody's already figured out the twist ending. So she's like, well, what is even the plot? And he says, now the plot is that we have to stop him from committing his murder, right? We've got to stop him

from killing the guy that killed his son. So they run back to the car to find the keys. And he's like, oh, it'll take a miracle from God to find, oh, wait, here, they're right here. I see them. It's, it's daytime now. So we see it's just really not that steep. And that was really not a little bit of an angle. It's insane. And he was he was throwing the keys lefty backhand out the window with the other hand. It's like 20 feet away. The keys are 20 feet away. Yeah. Well, and they have to keep acting like they're at this and good. She's like, Oh, stand back. This is very dangerous for us to stand next to this, you know, slightly steep grade here. Hold on. I got a plan where we're going to halo drop out of a helicopter and grab

this. Have you ever been standing near children who are playing some kind of pretend game? And they're like, oh, no, you have that to fall on the fire. And you're like, I'm actually just going to go get another hot dog. But I have to get it. That's how this scene was. Yes. Oh, no, we're gonna fall off to cliff. Okay.

Yeah. Right. So he's like, oh, I'll get a rope and I'll lower myself down. And I'm like, okay, well, if you've got a rope, then this is literally not at all dangerous. There's no danger here whatsoever. And the soundtrack's like, I beg to differ. I wanted the rope to break and he just falls like, like, he's like, oh, I don't know.

That's not really all that bad. I kind of kind of bruised my elbow. Yeah, because if this were a cliff, where the fuck with the keys, it's fine. You know, right. Yeah. They're hanging in mid-air three feet. It's fine. You know, they're hanging in mid air three feet. So he repels down this hill. He's just walking backwards or whatever going past the loan from Cliff hanger doing something. So he gets the keys and he climbs back up and it's super dangerous. He almost slips, but she catches him at the last second. And she's like, oh, you almost would have had to come back up again because you may have stumbled for two feet or so before breaking your slide. Do you want back teen for your elbow? So in this action scene.

Yes. So they get back in the car. They go to stop him. Now what they do is they drive to some rando house and they call the cops,, but like he's 300 seconds head start, right? They'd be able to see him on the road from wherever they were. Right. They had to drive past him to get to the place where they were still having. He couldn't possibly have been at a house by that point. There were no campsites nearby. Also, this is just a note on like bad movie making. So when you do though, we went to a Randos house to call the cop scene, right? You need to first show the characters asking the person to use their phone. They don't do that. So it's just the scene with him on the phone. And a third guy standing there like, yeah,

right. We've never seen her mat. Yes, it's exactly four minutes into the scene. He's like, thanks for letting us use your phone. But I was like, oh, okay, that's the fuck that guy. I literally, I was like, man, I've heard of booms in the shop, but you got the entire fucking grip. Also, this is a big loud breather guy walking past our house outside. It looks like you went past him and now he's, yeah, he's just catching up with a snack.

Is that him? outside. It looks like you wouldn't pass to him. And now he's, yeah, he's just catching up with a snap. That's it. Looks like the guy you drew in soap. I mean, it's a dead lightness. So, yeah. So and also by the way, we get to watch for like four minutes of him not giving the other person on the phone remotely enough time to have said the thing he's reacting to, which is always fun. Yeah. So he tells the cops, hey, this is the address where he's going and and then carries like, you know, I think we could get there and quicker than the cops. And he's like, we shouldn't do that. And she's like, we should. And he's like, okay.

And then so they go and they're going to try to talk him down. Should we let the police handle this? No, we need to stop this murder. Yep. She punches him in the face. All right. We're in the best. I don't know.

I'll see you tomorrow morning. Yeah. All right. I'm a whole test face. All right. We're in the past. I don't know. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Yeah. Right. I'm a whole test set up by then. So okay. Meanwhile, the cops are still sitting in front of Lucas's ex-wife's house when they get the call. They run up to the her house and they're like, Hey, what's the significance of this address?

This is where he's going. She's like, That's our old house. That's where we used to live back when he was killing our kid. Yeah. And they have this moment. Again, they're still clinging to this twist where they go, we believe he's going to murder the man who killed your son. And she does like a sad face, but she can't say anything because it's him. Right. Because it would clearly. Yeah. It's a fucking insane conversation. Yeah. She'd be like, no, he killed our son. She wouldn't be like,

oh, I get it. Yeah. The metaphor of the thing. I'm going to talk past you for a minute or two and then you'll leave. It's so great. The movie does la la la. I can't hear you to itself here and then it pops. I would tell you what that means to me, but it would spoil the movie. Are you doing an inside joke? What we're cops doing murder in that murder thing and a kidnapping. Yeah. Are you doing an inside joke? What were cops? Do murder in the murder thing? And a kidnapping. Yeah. So okay. So Lucas apparently he hitched

to ride with some people and then by then he's got to think, oh, fuck man, I kidnapped these guys for nothing. I could have just hitched. He fucking again. It's just it's a two seconds of the movie that invalidates the entire rest of the film. Yes. All right, fucking Uber. Yeah. I'd ban it. They're like $33. I didn't have to kidnap a couple of friends, fuck them, do a whole thing about their marriage. I could have just gotten into a car and then killed myself.

Yeah. And then, okay, Harry and Shona headed this to the address as fast as they can without exceeding exceeding the speed limit or driving dangerously, of course. I wrote my nose at this point. I bet these two have such boring sex. Oh, good. They're both pretty hot, but like I would not watch this couple flock. Right. Nope. Is there a more boring thing than missionary? Is there like, is there a position where you hover near each other? Yeah. Soaking, maybe soaking. They're both faking an orgasm. It's the opposite of soaking ringing.

Yeah. So yeah. So but Lucas gets to his old house. He's torn around the backyard and he grabs a shovel. Apparently, there's a box full of back story buried next to the tree. Buried zero inches in the ground. Yep. It is literally a single scoop of dirt under the ground. Yeah.

And oh, there's also this is such a weird thing to point out, but there's this moment where he goes and he's like, ah, the old swing that my son used to love to swing in right over this partial rock wall. There's like a fucking half rock wall right under that swing. That's insane. Yeah. This kid was doomed from the start. I mean, hunting eggs in an or no. He wasn't seeing 16. It's an obstacle. It's a game. You make that you can win or lose it. Right. No, exactly. It's the it's the nail in your muffin of swing. How you get tough. Okay. Now, I feel like it's turned into me. So anyway, so he digs up his special box of pertinent memories, which includes, by

the way, and I love my dad card that is son. I will never die I Love you six inches by four inches. You say you're You're dick so Yeah, so and then the there's this great moment where the lady who like lives in that house now shows up and she's like hey you can't fucking Dig shit up in my yard, dude. Yes, I can.

I can't stand it in the movie. Sorry, I can't. I did. You can't have it in the movie. You literally go sit in the closet. Yeah, he just walks into our house and shoves her into a closet. And he's like, you gotta at least take out the gun

for this to work, right? That other way, Might as well put her in the fridge. Yeah. I was gonna say, you might as well put her in the fridge. Yeah. I was going to say you might as well clap his hands that you just shatters into dust and he's like, good, not in a movie anymore. I'm going to watch my sad day kid, DVD.

Yeah. I really want him to get in and like she doesn't have a DVD player because everything's streaming now. And he's like, ah, fine. Do you have a PlayStation? Yeah. I mean, I have to download, why would I have to download an app for that?

It's built into the fucking thing. I'm going to circuit city, but I'll be back. Now the TV's doing an update. What does that even mean? What is the PlayStation on HGMI one? Or it's a video game. That's not that's what is that this is the Apple TV. Honestly so much better movie. I would want to change batteries on my. Yeah, right. All right, but just, just as he's put the DVD into the ladies DVD player,

Carrie and Sean pull up and we get them pulling up. We get the video that he's playing and we see that mom on the video has forgot the hot dog buns, which was exactly the lie he used to butter Carrie and Sean up before just pulling a gun out of an on them and invalidating the need to butter them up. pulling a gun out of an on them and invalidating the need to butter them up. Remember? Yeah. But this is also where it reveals because she says, oh, come on, Trigg. And we're supposed to go, oh, he's Trigg.

Oh, yeah. I figured that out. Yeah. The actors in the movie failed to do an oh, right? Right. Well, obviously, he was, he was, well, well, it's what he had been in jail for manslaughter guys. We established that earlier. And he's turned to me. He's like, yeah, you get it now. And we're like, yeah, man, it was super, super obvious in act two. Like, yeah, you said

boy slaughter when you did that. Yeah, we just super, super obvious. But yeah, but Sean and Carrie need to teach Lucas an important lesson about forgiveness. And so they talk about their his affair or more and how he's made mistakes too, not shooting kids levels of mistakes, but mistakes nonetheless. And God forgave him. So it's like this is great. But he's like, no, I cheated on my wife.

And he's like seriously? He's like, I have no idea why I compared those two things with this. Sorry. This fucking stupid, oh man. Well, and then they're gonna spend about four and a half minutes kind of getting us on the side that maybe he should just go ahead and shoot himself. Right. Because he says, you know what I said earlier about my kid being tough.

That wasn't true. Actually, all the other kids picked out him for being too much of a sissy. And I'm like, oh my God, did you shoot your fucking kid for being a sissy? Yeah. I feel like that was the script and they like, didn't really change it. They just cut the part out that said exactly that.

Yeah. Yeah. Why else would he bring that up? That's crazy to bring up otherwise, yes. She interrupts him. She's like, no, no, you were hunting and you were drunk. It was an accident. Well, okay. So this is where the cops come in with his ex wife, right? They all come in to the house at the same time. And they're like,

yeah, we're here to they come in the cops come in like kids playing cop, you know? Yeah, they do dive roles for a reason. Yeah. And he says, Oh, I murdered my kid. And the ex wife is like, No, it was an accident. You just took a five year old out hunting, left him in a truck by himself, got drunk and started shooting in anything that would move and shot at the, she literally says you reacted to the noise in the corner of your eye. Sorry. You heard a noise in the corner of your eye. Sorry, you heard a noise in the corner of your eye.

First of all, that's insane. And your immediate answer was to shoot that directives. Do hunters hear stuff and just spin and fire and fly? The fucking thing chained me, what's happening? Because if you're not quick enough, you turn around and there's a deer with a handgun out and it's like, I guess I got the drop on you. Well, to be fair, the Supreme Court has affirmed your right to turn around immediately and shoot it whenever you heard with your eyes.

Yeah. Yeah, the corner of your eye. Also not that this has any relevance, but he has a hunting rifle with a scope. That's not like a quick fight. You know, like, what? Yeah. rightful with the scope. That's not like a quick fight. You know, like, what? Literally he would have to be looking through the scope to shoot his skin. Listen, Oswald was able to do it. No problem. Yeah. I know. He nailed it. Yeah. So definitely the real story. Allegedly. Also, there's a great moment. The wife is walking forward

to like talk him down or whatever. The cops never take their guns off of him. They've got him in this like, don't shoot yourself or we'll kill you. Kind of a threat going on, but they never take their guns down even when she's in between them and you. Is this great? Oh, we're just pointing their guns at the back of her hand. You do Neil Strafe. Just please really quick. There we go.

There's a, I mean, look, we're pretty close to the end here. Can I, can I throw out a controversial hot take? Um, no more hunting? Well, yes, that's a non-controversial hot take. I don't fucking care if you like anything about, no, just we're not doing that in what, fuck your face. Yeah, this movie should have acknowledged guns as the non-controversial hot take,

but my controversial hot take is like, maybe you shouldn't forgive yourself if you shoot your child in a drunken super. Yeah, like maybe maybe you just live with that one or die with it. Right. That's what like, yeah, everything in this movie from this point on is just like, Oh, see, now I'm rooting for act one version of you. Yeah. Right. I like to enact one. Yeah, I hope you'd like to enact one. I hope you don't learn this lesson.

Yeah, I had this sort of like realization as I was waiting for this movie to wrap up that like one of the poisonous messages of Christianity is because Jesus can forgive you for anything that everything deserves forgiveness, but like. Right, no, absolutely not. This is literally a perfect example of not that. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

You took your kid out into the woods, you had a gun, you're drunk and you're like, hey kid. Dressed in camo. Dressed in camo. No orange, no bright orange or anything like that. Yeah, you dressed your kid up in camo and you said, I'm gonna go shoot anything that moves.

So don't move. Don't get into the, don dressed your kid up in Camo and you said, I'm going to go shoot anything that moves. So don't move. Don't get into the, don't make a noise in the corner of my eye that I could see the noise of. And stay next to this truck, the two of us are going to go drunk hunting. We'll be back in like nine hours. Son, what did daddy tell you? I'm not enough of a man to stand near you. You want your shoes? Yep. That is right. And what else did I tell you to move over your shoot instantly? That's right. That's what I said. Danny loves you as much as he art.

Stinky. Oh, that's how far he was. That's how far he was when he shot him. The kid was too far. I only love you for sure. You got no third yards. I love you point blank. Yeah, but so he, but he decides to set down the gun. 30 yards. I love you point blank.

Yeah, but so he, but he decides to set down the gun. There's this great moment where the cop shuffles in grabs the gun and shuffles back out. And then like everybody's just like, all right, well, I guess that wraps up the plot. Noah is really ready to smoke a bowl. So, but then I think the X-Wave is like, don't, don't arrest me yet. We want to watch the rest of the home video He's having trouble with the DVD menu. Let me just give him a little hand with that He's on and we're gonna watch it. They watch the end of the movie together and then he breaks the love stick So okay, so there's this amazingly stupid moment here This is like you almost have to try to be this fucking dumb right because they're like Hey, we're gonna bury this box now with a bunch of our memories in it

Is there anything else you want to put in? How about this DVD that we're recording directly to with a device that records directly to DVD that never Existed anywhere in the goddamn history of the world Right, but they have to know they're making a movie the world right but they have to know they're making a movie that's what they're to do can't make a movie without knowing how movies work it's not even possible to think that Jesus and then she's like look I brought along the yardstick glove contraption is like I was wondering if that was going to come back oh god I'm glad we're using this here Let me do some space work with it here as the music swells beneath me. Bada da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da also forgiven we get a quick wrap up scene where the movie acknowledges that he is yes still in trouble for Breaking and entering stealing a gun kidnapping two people forcing his way into this lady's house and then falsely imprisoning her in a closet Right, it tries to wrap it up for us in title cards. Yeah, like they were like, yeah, come on guys

This DVD camera that we're using to make this movie is running out of DVD So he went to jail, but then he found Jesus or something. It's all good. There's also right before we get to the title cards, there's this moment where like we have to wrap up with Sean and Carrie, you know, they watch the cop car drive away with him and and they're like, Hey, are we over our marital problems? And and she's like, we sure are, you know, and then there's a little heart, wipe or something.

And then the cop card drives back. I've been a marriage counselor the whole time. Yeah. What? In the face. You love each other. Here's your diplomas. You're married now.

And then there's this. Okay. So then the title cards come up. First, we get a Bible quote, Romans 8.1. And then it says, you know, so Lucas Blacks, so yes, he went back to jail for a few years. But then afterwards, he found Jesus and he started a ministry called maximum forgiveness because his son's name was Max. I would pay. Oh, I thought it was because it was like a super max jail where he was.

That's great. I would pay so much money to watch him explain that name. He's like, Hey, everybody, you're probably wondering why we're called maximum forgiveness. That's the son that I murdered. Who's ready to learn about morality from me? It's like he's in right. So also. And then after that, we were like, wow, wolf, what a dumb ending.

They come up with an even dumber title card that's like, oh, and Sean and Carrie live in an RV in the Oregon wilderness. Now, so things are probably going great for them. That's the thing that happens after things go great for you, right? They never poop indoors. And... All right, well, I'll tell you what, that's going to do for our review of Taken by Grace for this.

Not gonna do it for the episode just yet because we still need to pay pendants against next week. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. Oh, we'll be watching the Cristiano short film late one night. Oh, it's always a great thing. And Cristiano brothers. No, no, really, just Dave in his early solo phase of his career. Oh, interesting. All right.

All right. He didn't have the genius wisdom of his body. Awesome. So it's kind of bad. Yeah. All right. So with that to look forward to, we're going to bring Episode 359 to a more of us.

Well, close once again, a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors to help make the show go. If you'd like to carry something among their ranks, you can make a per episode of patreon.com slash God off when they're wearing really access to an entry version of a re episode. You can also help us out of time by leaving a five star review anywhere you can. of The love is a P.M. Routaurus Tim Robbins takes her out for social media. Our theme song was written in performed by Ryan Slot and people draft some Mars. All of the music was written in performed by our audio engineer

Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a check here. Life this week for Heathenright Neal and Bob Stegam Noolutions. Promise to work hard or earn another check next week until then. We'll leave you

with a breakfast club close. The Supreme Court of the United States went on to decide that some fucking kids are going to get shot sometimes. Morgan would finally get through a

sentence that contained Supreme Court kids are gonna get shot sometimes. Morgan would finally get through a sentence that contained Supreme Court and gonna get shot without having to beat him. I bet I didn't get through that one. Yeah, no, that's good. Ha ha ha. The proceeding podcast was a production of Puzzle and Ethnistrum LLC, Copyright 2022, all rights reserved.