God Awful Movies - 362: Dying to be Heard

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

This week, Anna Bosnick joins us for an atheist review of Dying to be Heard, the story of Christians pretending to be an abortion clinic so they can trick desperate women into sitting through their Jesus pitch. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

I'm Tony D and one pot black bean and pepper soup is just one of the delicious meals I've tried through Hello Fresh. With over 50 menu items and market items to choose from each week, you'll never run out of dishes to try. Get 16 free meals plus 3 free gifts with code awful16 at hellofresh.com slash awful16. She goes over to Duncan, the homeless guy, right? And this time she's kind to him because she's still doesn't give him any money, but she's kind to him. No, she gives him like 60 cents. Oh, that's right. You're right. She gives him a little bit of change. If that's not a change of ways, I don't know what. Here, this was going to go into my parking meter. Yes. I's yourself. I am gonna park there for eight minutes less now. For you, Duncan.

You lucky, so you really are blessed by God. God awful. Movie. Movie. Movie. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be a bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli, how are you this fine afternoon sir? Deeply spiritually confused. Good answer. And also joining us today is returning guest masochist Anna Bosnick.

Anna, welcome back. I don't deserve any thanks whatsoever. And if you're wondering why Anna's about to tell us what will be breaking down today Anna. We watched dying to be heard. It's the story of the Holocaust, but not that Holocaust. As the Holocaust that's happening right now, right under your right under your noses. Yeah. And Eli, how bad was this movie? Yeah, and you like how bad was this movie?

Well if you love workplace sexual harassment videos, but you wish they were put on a fight an orthodox temple of juice for Jesus You will love this movie. I don't even I don't even know So many times throughout this movie. I wrote my notes, no one will ever watch this movie except for us. Right? Yeah, I think you're right. The family members of the people, the whatever that scanning program is, the checks for child porn. That is it.

Yeah, I have to say after the production quality and acting talent on last week's movie, I feel like we needed to be reminded of our place in the cinematic pecking order and this was the movie to do it, right? This was the movie to say, oh, no, it's your Prince of Egypt while you can, motherfucker. A lot of people have gotten our comments about how much they liked Prince of Egypt. I want to hear about the patrons who enjoy this other fucking movie. Oh my God. I'll tell you what, this movie did not make me try to find religion like Prince of Egypt.

Well, there you go. All right, so was there anything you guys want to nominate? This one for me and the best, it'd be the worst at. I will say best, worst music video montages. This movie could actually be a God awful music. Yes. Twice. And I had no idea.

Yeah, no, it came out of the blue. It came out of nowhere. And I was going to go with best worst pointless flashback. Oh, that's a lot of competition there. Yeah, exactly. This movie is, but you know how in like inception you watch it the whole time, you're like, wow, this scene is a dream inside a dream inside a dream inside a dream. I should be really confused by this, but somehow I'm not because Christopher Nolan is such

a masterful screenwriter. This movie is the opposite of that, right? You're constantly like, when the fuck am I even? And almost always for no real reason. Mm-hmm. Right. And unlike Tenet, where at the end, you're like, oh, that was actually really clever.

I want to watch this movie again, knowing what I know. This is the opposite of that. At the end of this movie, you're just sitting there, staring at a screen, being like, oh, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. And on that note, I'm going to go with best worst source of oppression.

We will, we'll get to it. Yeah, no, we're just going to leave that one as a bit of a tease. All right, well, we're going to be talking about a boarded fetus on the other side of the break. And that one always gets us feeling snacky. So we're going to take a quick break. But when we come back, we're going to dive into all the propaganda that is dying to be heard.

All right, guys, welcome to the first ever writers' Remedying for our movie, Dying to be heard. Luhu! Luhu! R! Now, as you know, we'll be bringing a very important viewpoint to the pro-life argument that of the Jews for Jesus. For Jesus, yeah, we're technically Jews for Jesus,

but I think as people who experience the Holocaust, who better to speak to the horrors of all the children that have been murdered by abortion. Actual Jews. Yeah, obviously, but besides them. Oh, okay. I mean, Romani people, gay people, okay, but besides them. Oh, okay. I mean, Romani people, gay people, or even political dissidents. Sure, right.

Of those people all actually experienced a little bit, but after all of those people, who better to speak of the horrors of the Holocaust than? Christians cosplaying in Yomacus. Exactly, cosplaying. Quakers? You guys are kind of messing up my flow here? Ove! I don't think that's it. No, it sounded good to me.

Uh-oh, okay. Ove. Ove. Yeah. It's a drink. And we're back for the breakdown. We're gonna open up on a fetal heartbeat because of fucking course we are

Not a fetal heart. Well, no, no the thing that they use in this is yeah, that fetal heart beat is not the bum The dramatic The people think it is more like a beatboxing guinea pig Yeah We Yeah, right. It's way different. Yeah, way different as soon as I heard that I wrote my notes in Georgia We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, not true. No stories. I must think that fictional movies are made up out of nothing resembling life. Yeah. So, okay. So we get like this film's version of like an artsy opening. We get a black and white sand grabbing. We get sepia rain. Yeah. Heartbreak music on the beach. Heartbreak music in a rainy

parking lot. Yeah. Yeah. I have a music note. I'll play my piano as loud as I like, Debra. I'm going through this divorce too, you know. I also just want to throw out there that one of the people listed in the credits is Dr. Michael Michael. Oh, no.

I wrote my notes. Hey, alien, that's a bad fake man. Maybe try again. Yeah. So we also introduced a giggly kid, some sad music adripping IV and an old guy in a face mask diet. Sure.

Many people's story. Yes, yeah, exactly, based on a lot of true stories. And people did get IVs though. Mm-hmm. So then we get, we wrap up the credits sequence and we get an alarm clock. This person's getting up at 7.30 and I'm reminded how much I love my job. Yeah, and I'm reminded that I have a toddler.

Well, yeah. That's just life now. And below the alarm clock, there's this little note that says, don't worry, you're not fat. Who needs to see that thing in the morning? Like I've heard of these notes being on mirrors or like on your desk at work, but on the fucking alarm clock. Yeah.

Like this lady obviously called into work being like, I'm just too fat to come to work today. I'm going to sleep in. Yeah. So yeah, so she gets up and downstairs now, I'm going to save you a lot of trouble listener and explain to you that this is apparently her like made or housekeeper or something that comes in and cooks her breakfast in the mornings or whatever. But the movie plays it like this is a lesbian relationship, right? Absolutely not head cannon. This is her living in sin with her lesbian relationship. Okay. Absolutely.

That's certainly what I saw. Mm-hmm. So yeah, so she has to work. But apparently she has to touch up her lipstick between the bedroom and the car. She didn't even eat breakfast. She'd like ran past. So oh, excuse me, she didn't eat her unshopped scallion carrot and a celery stick. Is that what her breakfast?

That is what this is prepared for her. I wrote it, it appears that her mom is making her a satir plate for breakfast. So yeah. Her mom. appears that her mom is making her a satir plate for breakfast. Her mom. Well, yeah, this got this relationship just got even more fucking dark. Yeah.

So then she gets in the car and I love this just this quick moment with she turns on the radio and it's like the crisis pregnancy center is asking for donations. I'm like, yeah, you know, she's a bad guy because she has all she wears makeup and she turns off the charity. Yes. And she ignores the homeless guy who's obviously a very religious French bulldog in a human suit. We also at this point in the movie, we see her walking and we realize that they don't

know how to do a follow shot Nope, so for the rest of the movie anytime someone is walking and the camera is pointed at them It's gonna be running after them bumpily like the Blair fucking No one had a skateboard on set apparently yeah, I know what she walks a long way It's like she's walking through panels and a comic book. It's pretty pretty fucking awful. So, so yes, but she how her walks her way past the break room, which prompts workplace enemy lady at Suzanne is this character's name. Oh god, Suzanne. She's sitting in the break room and she's like, I hate that person. She is my nemesis. That will be relevant later to the plot. She literally goes, she goes, she's so fake, fake, fake, fake.

And then she literally just stares into the camera like, did I do it? Is my partner gonna be over? They cut her off like the audio editing and this is crazy because they literally cut her off her fake nails, fake hair hair fake slam. Nothing else. And there's a couple of times I do this over and over again in this movie and I love it to death. They have to make Rachel this busy career woman type character. And we have to keep going to our office and she has to have like, she's on one phone and the cell phone is ringing in her office, phone is ringing. But every time she picks up a call, it's like a family member or a friend

and she's like, Oh, you know, I really can't talk now. And they never bothered to work in a few work related phone calls. No, no, no. She just answers seven personal phone calls in a row and immediately says that she can't talk. Yes. Pro tip, by the way, if you can't talk, don't answer your phone. There you go. Yeah. Get it on silent. That's good. Ah.

Also, this set, can we talk about how this set is oddly familiar? Like, this is absolutely a porn set. I have seen 100% videos in this room before. Yes, and that precise, obviously, this is a set you rent by the hour, yes. Yeah. The cleaning crew was so confused when there was no come on the song, anything when they came in the next day. They were like, I still pants up really weird in here. I feel like they must have gotten the camera crew too because like, they didn't bother

to focus many of these shots because they were so eager to get to the bottom zone scenes. Right, right. They're like, these people still have their clothes on. Nobody cares about this part. Yeah. So I, that was my next note actually was if they, if they, if this is the set up for lesbian porn, this all makes sense. If not, it doesn't. This is where she has her phone call with her friend Kathy. Oh God. She's hot. Kathy is super hot. Kathy's pretty hot. Yeah. Yeah. I was very disappointed that that didn't actually end up being the head can't like the head cannon wasn't real. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know what, you still get to do breakfast club close, you know, so we can do whatever we want. All right. So now we cut

to a hospital. So there's going to be like two parallel stories that were being told that this movie will cleverly weave together later One of which is this woman being a career woman and dealing with an unwanted pregnancy The other is going to be the fact that this old man who is I guess autistic and play the art courtian Is dying and his caretakers are talking about the good times that they had with him in his last hours as he lays unconscious and hospice. Yeah. And spoiler alert, all of the good times will be times we either let him loose into the world and inconvenienced others or times we treated his mental illness as an adorable quirk. Yes, right. Mm hmm. Now, we should also point out that when we see

that there's two caretakers, a husband and wife, and we never see their faces, they're always like off-camera. Now, normally you would assume that this was to preserve some type of mystery that was going to be revealed later in the film. But given the quality of the movie here, we were all like, I mean, it might be that that's the same guy that plays the boss, right? Or whatever. And they just didn't have a second act. They're like, okay, just do a different voice this time, right? Yeah.

Yeah. I had music note here. We assure you, your call is very important to us. What I love to, the older guy has some kind of mental disability that they're never super clear on what exactly it is. But they end up starting basically every conversation with, wow, it sure was a burden having to look after him as entirely constantly constantly. The every scene is sandwiched between he was a burden and what a burden he was.

Yeah. Yeah. This is also where she says, quote, he played accordion beautifully, but nobody took him seriously. And I wrote in my notes, I mean, it's probably because he played the accordion. That's funny because in my notes, I said, he played accordion. This is the character with the dark bass I've been waiting for. Oh, my God.

Don't let everyone take us accordion skills seriously. They're going to undercut the shit on it. We're going to learn that he played accordion at Carnegie Hall later on in this mid. Nobody took him seriously. Yeah. He just barged on stage. That's a flashback we didn't get to see. I guess not. So we cut to a flashback to his fucking accordion glory days or whatever. This is where in Springfield, New Jersey in 1972 and he is a Jewish kid whose mother is very mean to him now and then later won't be mean to him. Yeah, this movie really loses the plot on the parents. At one point, the parents get so

caught up in their own narrative, which we're supposed to care about, that they lose all of the characterization that they had earlier in the movie. Yeah. But at this point in the movie, they're like strict Jewish parents. Yeah, I would play a courting in two if I had this family. Right. Right. The mom is just basically like, I ain't buying all this autism shit. He could like talk normal if he wanted to. Like that's the character that they give her here.

They will abandon that later. Yeah. This is also where they tip their hands for the first time that they are Jews for Jesus. These actors say, oh, they like my wife, AKA like their protagonist trying to sneak into a Jewish event in a Mike Myers comedy. Oh, that. Oh, V. It will surprise you. Neither of you, by the way, that he is not actually playing a courtyard. No, no, no.

I'm sure he isn't. Yeah, so, but if you're thinking to yourself, wow, did we do this entire flashback just so that we could see the line he played a courtyard, but no one ever took him seriously play out, get used to that feeling. Tell and show as they learned in film school. Yeah. So, so now we cut back to Rachel's office. I don't even know if we've mentioned the main character career woman is Rachel. And she's getting a visit from poor man's Leslie Neolson. This is like an underling at the company that she's going to be really mean to. Can I just take a metastat

back for a second and acknowledge that we have failed our audience? Perhaps as we couldn't have done before in that we haven't talked about Rachel's wig yet. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that is like the main character actually. The main character Rachel is wearing a, I'm going to go ahead and say dumpster behind Halloween adventure, ask blonde wig, which will be positioned in various places and parts of her body throughout the film. The part switches between cuts.

Oh, and the thing does everything but shake and triple like a triple, yeah. Yeah. It's basically a mop on her head. It's pretty awful. But yeah, we're in her thing and she says, come in because he's knocking at the door and then he comes in, they make eye contact.

They make fucking eye contact and she says, I said, come in. Right and he's like, I am in. What? I can't even think this movie is out of sync, but then the mouse liven up with the words. Yeah, it's the actors that were out of sync and it confuses the shit out of me So yeah, he's like all right, so I've got a plan for the meeting you do the icebreaker and then I'll come in with the facts And she's like your plan fucking sucks. Fuck you. I'm not doing any fucking icebreaker

The ice will remain intact you piece of shit Well, I don't know she's like trying to prove herself at this thing and this guy comes and he's like, yeah, you start him over the quick game of Zipzaps. So they will come in to live with the goods. You've pulled up to like, what? Yeah. So, okay. So they're setting up their meeting.

Meanwhile, we go back to the caretaker. They're going to lead us into another flashback of about life with Jordan. Jordan is the old man that's dying. And of course, just like all of these flashbacks, we're going to open this one up with, uh, yeah, he was a real, did I mention when a burden he was to take care of? Yep. Real burden on our friends and ourselves. It was a real shitshow. And again, this is supposed to be like an adorable story about him, but he just wanders it to a hair salon, starts loading up his pockets with lip bombs. Right. And then, and then there's a lady who's like, hey, don't take those lip bombs. And then he's like, but I want them. And we're supposed to be like, Oh, what a bitch.

What a terrible person. She just don't give random men all your lip bombs. This is like me making a movie about how actually you should be super grateful that my baby is having a tantrum behind you on the airplane. I am thanking me right now. Yeah. At the end of this, he says it felt like he was a child, but he was my uncle. And I just wrote my notes. Yeah, it sounds like you should have gotten him professional help instead of making yourself a martyr by pretending your family member was a pet that you didn't have to control. There you go. All right, and that's that whole flashback, by the way, remember that one time he walked in and got lip balm and then didn't. Yeah, so he sure was a menace. Anyways, that is not my best words yet. We have not come up on the most useless flashback in this movie yet. You'll know when we get there.

So okay. Meanwhile, back at work, the big meeting is starting and they know so little about business that like we never even know what kind of company this is or what she does for a living. We never have to know. Podcast listener briefly before Noah and Heath rescued me from a life of torment. I was a US representative for a toy company. I'm doing air quotes because I had no fucking idea what I was talking about or doing at any given moment.

I did a better job of faking it than this movie and that is fucking saying something absolutely. I once showed up to a conference call that was being held in Chinese and I knew more about this business. So I, and before she go to the meeting, there's this moment, I have to talk about this moment because this is where I lost a thousand dollar bet with myself that this was written by a man where she's going like, you're going to do great Rachel, you're not fat, you're not fat. And she's not to her credit.

She is correct on that assessment. All right, so she goes into the meeting and they can't have her say actual business words because they don't know any business words. No, her whole presentation is we are very good at whatever thing we do. This is every cold. She's delivering every cold email we ever get to try to get us to jump on their venture capital back to podcast platform. We hear it. Spook speaker want you to know that we put the listener in touch with the okay, that's fine. Your company closed while you were sending me. Oh yeah, no, they actually they get to the point where she can't

vamp anymore without actually saying a business word and it's so the whole thing just fades out right the music swells and we fade away. Yeah, the soundtrack literally plays her off screen. Yes. Right. So, okay. So now the caretakers wife is going to lead us into another Jordan flashback. They've removed his oxygen mask. There's just no way to help. And, and the wife is like, you know, I was telling the nurse a series of doodly dues. Perhaps I should tell another. Yeah, I just, I really hope as I'm dying, people don't gather around to recount the stories of how much of a burden I was.

Wow. Wow, Eli. Thanks for ruining my funeral plans for you. What's on board? It's fine. It's just a whole new eulogy now. Fuck you. Back to the drawing board. I've asked you so many times to stop pre-writing your eulogy. So, okay. So now this one is my nomination for the most

meaningless and useless flashback in entire movie. Because she's like, remember that time when Uncle Jordan wanted to find the sheet music for his accordion and he was poking around and people's trash. And so we cut to him poking around and people's trash and like a cop comes up and he's like, Hey, you can't poke around and people's trash. And he's like, Oh, okay. And then he leaves. They're acting like he was in a giant prank war with the city. But it's just a cop is like, Hey, man, you can't go through people's trash.

And he's like, Oh, I live over here. I'll go there and the cops like, Yeah, man, do that. And then he lead the doodly do amount of to you. Remember that time when he walked a short distance interacted with a police officer and then walked back the good old days. Have you ever been in like a group of friends and someone doesn't have a story, but it feels like they're turned to talk. It's that the movie.

Yeah, no, things get pretty crazy at fridays too. Yeah. So that one wraps and we, we come back to the office where Rachel's coming in after the big meeting to see Tyler, her boss. Now we haven't discussed this character yet. We've met him briefly, but this guy is like, I think he's not a good enough actor to know that he's doing. I'm going to tell you that your paycheck is contingent on a blowjob any minute now face the entire movie.

Yeah. Also he's in the boss set, like the boss is office. And I just, I know I mentioned it before, but just spitballing how many people do you think have faked orgasms on that? So many. So many. This is Tyler, by the way, I don't know if we said Tyler. Tyler, look, you know that artificial intelligence, Dolly, he looks like you asked it to create a date rapist, right?

Like the eyes are wrong. Also, and just maybe this is the podcast editor in me. But if this guy, I like, I wrote my nose at one point. If this guy smacks his lips again, I am going to smack them too. is lips again, I am going to smack them too. I think they only had experience with like doing talking dog movies. So they put a big thing of peanut butter in everyone's mouth before this movie too. See, see, I was just, I was just thinking don't touch your face after touching that death. Yeah. That's gotta be not sanitary at all.

Oh my God, you have crabs in your beard now, man. Come on. And it had to be a porn because he was look at like at one point, he literally looks at her like I look at Madge when she's about to knock over my son and take the cracker out of his mouth. He's like, absolutely not. Right. He's like trying to fucking Jedi mind trick her to do it, like giving him a blow chopper.

Something. Yeah. I wrote in my notes, porn actors watching this would be like, just fuck already. I'm uncomfortable. Yeah. No. Every single line is delivered like it's the last line before we get to the sexual harassment in the HR video.

Yeah. Right? I do love to. If you can get over that for a second, you'll realize that the message that he's giving her at this point is, I'm going to promote you. You're now promoted to associate. That's a business word, right? Sure. I mean, the name of the place is luminous and associates, right? She's an associate now.

And then he explains to her that she's going to be great at this job because she loves nobody and nobody loves her. Real quote from the movie, your availability is your value. I wrote in my notes, the Eli boss. All right, so then we cut back to the hospital and they take a kind of a stab at explaining what is up with Jordan. They're like, you know, they thought he was schizophrenic. And then they thought he was autistic. And like, those are very different things, aren't they? Yeah, I would like to know who they are and why their guesses were so bad. So then we cut back to the office where Rachel is busy

once again with her cellphone call. Yeah, I was like, Kathy, stop calling me. People will know we're fucking like this is like, Kathy, my hot friend, please stop calling me. Yeah, I was like, Kathy, stop calling me. People will know we're fucking. Like this is like, Kathy, my hot friend, please stop calling me. Yeah, we'll do it. Definitely the most attractive person and the only non-Jew for Jesus, this cast new.

Oh, okay, all right, I'm buying it. Oh, I very much thought she was a Jew for Jesus. I would like to change her ways though, if you know what I mean. That's why she's only on the phone is because she was like, okay, I'll be in your movie, but I won't be in a room with all of you at once. Oh, she is in a room with other people pretty soon.

Right, yeah, that's the next scene. We're gonna go to a quote on quote. We get the whole story on Kathy. Yeah, the whole story. So yeah, so in the next scene, we're gonna cut it like so Kathy calls it. She's like, hey, we're still going out club in tonight, right? And she's like, we are going to go to a night club. Indeed. Indeed. We are. So this is a night club. Yes.

This was almost my best worst. Let's just take a moment to say, we're, this is episode 362. We've seen some bad fucking night clubs. This is the only nightclub so bad. I wasn't sure it wasn't in close space. I don't think this rose to room. Well, also they show the exterior of the nightclub and it's nighttime because it's a night club. And then they show the interior of it and there's lots of beautiful natural looking sunlight. Oh, it's like they're doing surgery in there, right? There's a bunch of people who are shaking, there's no music playing where they're recording because either that or like half of these people are rhythm impaired, right? They're all popping dropping to a different fucking tune and everything. And they're like, see nightclown. I mean, they are Jews, Noah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Yes, oh wait before we meet Jake though. We meet a close up on the only black guy in the entire film Who is there to play the bouncer? Yes the bouncer the only black man in the home movie

I say man wait. Oh, yes, you might think that they're like she has a black woman friend or something No, no, no, we'll find some black women later but not in a good way. Yeah So now it's time for Jake and Jake is very obviously the hottest person to everyone in this movie knows. So they were like, Jake, will you be in our movie? And he was like, actually, I have a terrible crippling anxiety disorder. And I have panic attacks whenever I'm placed in front of a camera. Is that going to be a problem? And they were like, not at all, Jake, don't worry about it.

So we watched Jake absolutely losing his shit. He is sweating. He looks like Tim Ryan losing the Democratic primary. My notes are literally like, breathe, Jake, you're okay, buddy. The main things you can see in the world. He goes at talking all of his lines. All of his lines are like my son learning the alphabet one or two syllables at a time. Yes, right. And then an arm. You look nice. I think we should go out. Yes. At one point, he says one of the other things that most people know about me is the first minute. I'm rooting for this sentence like it's a three-legged pony at the racist.

At one point, this is so good. Porgy, he's so nervous. I can't express the fear on his face. And he has been instructed to whisper into this woman's ears. Right? And it's supposed to be because you get that's what people do at clubs. They whisper sexy things into her ear, except Jake forgets he's wearing a love of a lear mic.

So he leaves it and goes, I like chocolate too. Full volume. I left for four solid yet. And then I watch it again. And it was better the second time because you could see him trying to think of a sexy thing to say and then you get to see him reacting to the fact that he thought of was I like chocolate too. Well the sexy things they came up for these people to say. Now Eli, pray tell if I were to ask you,

tell me something about yourself. What would you say? Probably that I like roses and chocolate. Oh my god, do you breathe air to? Yeah. Fucking fascinating. Like everybody fucking likes roses and chocolate. Who doesn't like Russ? That's classic. She's so fucking to because before he even comes up, her and her friend are like desperately failing the backdeltest, right? They're right there like oh your boss has a penis we could talk about him And then he comes up with his broken English and his arms every third word and shit He says tell me somebody so she says oh, I love chocolate and roses and I'm like get a goddamn Personnel I like chocolate and rose like people who put travel on their dating profile. It's like as opposed to what

I like to stand perfectly still all right, so yeah, so but he's like hey, can I buy you 11 drinks and she's like I would love 11 drinks So we get the montage of her having a little too much and him getting a little handsy and her friends decided a certain point that they need to intervene. Yeah. But the most half-hearted intervenes. Yes. Anyone's ever intervened. Oh, no, don't fuck. No, don't.

Don't. Don't give us time to go home. Don't do this. And then the second she does, she's like, no, I want to stay. Like, I never get to go out. They're like, oh, fuck you. Yes. And they just leave her. You know what? She's like, no, I want to stay like I never get to go out. They're like, oh, fuck you. Yeah.

You know what? We tried for two whole minutes, let her get day right. Yeah. So her friends failed to talk her out of go it out with Jake. So we watch her like drunkenly stumbling back towards his place and then you know, everything fades out because this movie is not going to like get any more detail. Absolutely no steam. I'm sick stuff. Well, and this movie knows as much about sex as like a fourth grader who's found born in the woods.

So. Alright, well, it looks like these two are about to dance the devil's disco, so we're gonna need a minute to wash our eyes out with soap. But we'll be back in a minute with even more dying to be heard. Noah, Noah, hey, Eli, what's up? Good news. We don't need Anna anymore.

What are you talking about? Okay, so I made up this machine and last night I sucked out all of her talent while she was sleeping and now I can write songs for the show. So like la la la music stuff la la la. Yeah, I'm not sure that work. But Eli, if you want to take your music to the next level, why not just try Masterclass? What's Masterclass?

With Masterclass, you can learn from the world's best minds anytime, anywhere and at your own pace. You can learn how to sing from Christina Aguilera. You can improve your country music skills with Revo Mac and Tyre, or learn electronic music production from deadmouse. With over a hundred classes from a range of world class instructors,

that thing you've always wanted to do is closer than you think. Wow, and you've actually tried it. I sure have. What I love most about master classes that it's so easy to take with me on the go. So I can watch it on my smart TV, listen to it on the go like a podcast,

or even just watch it from my home computer. I highly recommend you check it out. Get unlimited access to every masterclass and as a God awful movies listener, you get 15% off an annual membership. Go to masterclass.com slash awful. That's masterclass.com slash awful for 15% off of masterclass. All right. Well, no, I kind of regret sucking up all their talent.

Eli, did you vacuum my hair while I was sleeping? I should go Yeah, sounds like it Mr. God I the juicer here sir Come now Peter. We've talked about this. I know sir You said not to let in any juice and to heaven because you think it'll be awkward because of the hollow Because of the thing. You turn your back for one decade, am I right?

Could have happened to anybody. Anyway, the problem is we can't turn these ones away. Why not? Just give them the old Jesus was my kid excuse. Well, okay, so that's the problem. So these are Jews for Jesus. Like they're Jews and they believe in Jesus. That makes no sense. That's just Christians right there. That's what Christians.

Yes, no exactly, but they keep the Yamacas and the songs and stuff. I see. So you're telling me they took the most difficult and cloistered parts of Judaism and then added damnation as a worldview? Added damnation. Yes, sir Jeez, what's next Berkis? Well actually sir. There's a small group based in Israel. You know what never mind let him in all just avoid him. Yes, sir Humans in their religions about right Peter. Yeah, wait till I tell you about the Mormons, sir Who I'll I'll explain later Do you say morons?

I mean, yes. That's hilarious. And we're back for the breakdown and we're going to rejoin the story and yet another flashback from the mystery red head if you haven't figured it out yet. It's what's her name, the pain character. Okay, I didn't figure it out. Oh, really? And I was like, why aren't they showing this woman's face?

They're just, she's gonna turn around and it's gonna be the date rapist. Like, because they just not find an actress to put, because they actually did show the other guy's face. Right, right. Like the nephew, which they never fucking showed, but like fucking wild man. Yeah. So she's the redhead caretaker of this dying guy, Uncle Jordan.

And it's time for us to dive into her back story, which is going to give us Eli's best worst. Oh boy. Right. She's like, they didn't like Uncle Jordan because he was different, but I was different, too. I had red hair. I was a ju-ju-ju-ju-ju.

This movie will honor, I can't aside from people telling me that like it's hard to be a white man in America. I can rarely think of a time. I've been less stupid than it. It's so over done because they just they they have a bunch of flashbacks of her as a little kid going in there like, Hey, do you want to play? And they're like, no, because you have ugly red hair. Yeah. And these kids, okay, these kids were not on board with saying these things. No, they were not. But they used a lot of dubbing over what they were saying

and their mouths were like, of course I'll play with you. Yeah, right. It's like Eli doing little kid's voice. Yeah, right. No, it's. Also, she's being introduced by a mom. And when they're like,

no, you have shitty red hair. The mom's just like, well, there's nothing I could do with these five-year-olds serving me into my... There's no alternatives. Yep, you're right. You know what? Good one. You got it. Yeah. They fucking roasted you. Did you hear that? Oh my god. Oh, the play to the fucking red head. I'm like isn't this character supposed to be Jewish? Right because anti-semitism is a real precious and then it occurred to me like what if it was just that this kid was encountering terrible anti-Semitism over and over and again in her life But just thought it was because of her hair color

We don't want you around by that you mean redheads, right? Right Here redheads will not replace us like you're kind here. Oh, redheads will not replace us, damn it. So okay, so then we got, we cut back to Rachel. She's getting a call from her doctor. It looks like she's pregnant. Yeah, they opened this with, they're spilling her cough.

Yes, uh-huh. And I just, I just, yeah, I remember being pregnant. And yeah, totally, the worst part of it was how clumsy I was, absolutely, absolutely. That's those early months too. Yeah. No, I'm sure it's said in the script, spills coffee pregnantly or something. Yeah. Mm hmm. Well, I love that her first reaction. She says you're pregnant at her first reaction is, no, I can't gain the weight. Yeah. This is the universe of this movie gaining a pound worse than fourth birth. Having red hair is akin to having a belly button on your fucking forehead or some shit.

And never trust a French guy. Never. Yeah. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Take away. But see, that's the thing though, in order to make a movie that is anti-abortion, you can't really acknowledge the reasons why women have abortions. If you show that like, oh wow, you know, she wouldn't be able to like pay her bills or whatever if she had to take the pay cut that she's going to end up having to take in order to blow a blow a blow. Then all of a sudden, you can be sympathetic. So you have to pretend the real reason that women have abortions and stuff, like, oh my god, I would lose my figure. Although I will say my second favorite character in the

movie comes out here, which is the doctor. Yeah, she's like, you have to understand it was just a lapse of judgment. And the doctor says, yeah, you'll figure it out. And yeah, she's saying that the doctor's basically doing the yada yada talking too much gesture with her hands. She's got some, oh, no, I'm coming. I'm coming. Just give me one second. Yeah, right, right. So we get that scene. She's at work when she gets the call, by the way.

She's like screaming about it in her whole way at work. And then we cut back to a flashback of her with Uncle Jordan again. Well, I'm sorry, we're not supposed to know it's her yet. It's, you know, red head. She's a random little girl with Uncle Jordan. Well, how could it be her? She's blonde. Yes.

That's her real mop. I mean hair. Yeah. This is also where Uncle Jordan completely loses his disability. Yeah. He does that several times. Yeah. He does that.

Yeah. Yeah, they even, they even have to like kind of explain that away with the voice over right because she's like Remember those several years where he was completely lucid and didn't have a disability in any Meaningful way. It's true. God gives you three years without autism Gotta ask nice and know the right guy Oh, and of course you stare and over his dying body after the flashback and she's like, I know we'll be together in heaven one day and I'm like, you know, like I know that me and an Eli will all be together and like, you know, New Orleans or Seattle one. I've never felt the need to say that out loud because I actually know it.

It's also super creepy even if it's true. I know we'll be together in New Orleans one day. Okay. Now I feel like you're gonna come about that. We'll be together. We'll be together at your head. All right. So, of course, then we cut to Rachel's work enemy, Suzanne.

Remember Suzanne? Keep up. Sure. It's a very complex story. We're weaving. This is as complex as it gets, man. Yeah. So Suzanne is in Tyler's office or boss's office telling him that Rachel is pregnant,

right? And he's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna need her to unfuck that guy then. Damn it, because that's gonna get in the way of the business that we business. So he calls her into his office for, for getting pregnant. Uh-huh. He tries to stare at her so hard that she has a miscarriage. I also like this movie tries to have a moment where they acknowledge it's incredibly illegal to do this.

Right? Like it's just so incredibly, everything about this scene is illegal. I know that lots of pregnant people put up with terrible shit in their workplaces, but this is like a workplace video that should be titled, you just got a million dollars. Yeah, seriously. How to get sued. Right. Well, she says at one point, she's like, you know, this is crazy illegal.

And he's like, ah, you can't prove it. I'll just fire you for peeing to my shirt. He says, at one point, I don't want to be a second class citizen. Yes, to your kid. What? And I'm like, oh, yeah, just so you know, I've become a classist. It's having a baby.

You're all the Hoi Paloa as far as I'm concerned. And it's me and Professor Maximeleon Vesuvius Poepington Bosnick at the top. The rest of you can all just keep coming on. I can't. Okay, but that's actually how I feel about our baby. I wish you would use it to joke. You have the podcast there.

Oh, God. Hey, I love cake. You're going to confuse people. So Tyler's like, you know, I can't tell you to get an abortion, but I can LTA OOIA to get a ocean of Bay. So I hate that the moral of this story is not that this is a toxic work environment. Right. And like because it is, but instead it's, oh yeah, no, she shouldn't be in the workforce. She should be at home with a family. Yeah, exactly right. Yeah, because you know, that's just how men are going to be. Yeah, he said Tyler says at one point, he's like, well, you know, there's no law saying

you have to go through with it. And I'm like, well, that dates this movie a bit, doesn't it? Yeah, seriously. There's also, I don't know why they phrased it this way, but she goes, I cannot believe this. My boss in an American workplace saying as you get an abortion, I was like, Hey, comrader, you look at the blue jeans while you're in the picture. What are you tricking the Trump administration into treason?

All right. So meanwhile, so caretaker guy is playing some accordion music for Uncle Jordan. He's like, maybe he'd like to hear accordion music. I was like, yeah, he didn't hear enough of that in his lifetime. I'm sure. Yes, the accordion comes back. Honestly, when the dude was like, I'm going to play some accordion music. I really wanted the nurse to pop the CD out and snap it in half.

Nope, nope, the alive people. Yes. So that's, sorry. So, yeah, of course, this prompts a flashback to him playing accordion. Well, the red headed little girl tries to keep up on piano. Sure. He's trying to, like, he knows how to play piano accordion. That is what this kind of accordion is called. So he should fucking know where to tell her to put her hands. He even tells her to put her hands on the piano. And it is not, it's not even dubbed over with the correct key.

Nope, they're singing in one key, she's singing in one key. The accordion isn't another key. And the fucking piano isn't a very poor fucking, it is so discordant. Yes. Oh, he's playing a discordion. That's the problem. Yeah.

Oh. Oh. And this is where they're like, you know, he was great in a accordion. He even played at Carnegie Hall. And I'm like, we're watching him play. He's not very good. No.

I mean, he's better than me. We're watching him fail to scale. Yeah. We're recording him. All right. Oh, and then we get this. It's a quick scene, but it's so fucking amazing. Rachel is at work.

She's packing it up in the bathroom, she's getting very, very sick. And this woman comes up behind her and she says, Hey, Mamma, are you okay? And she says no. And the lady looks at her, she bombets, and the lady looks at her and she goes, gross.

And then leaves. And then leaves. This is your movie. First of all, you don't have to have any of the morning sickness in it. Right. That's good point. You don't have to do that. But also, this is a fucking, it's like the inverse of a cat call.

Like, hey, you're pretty. I know, fuck you. It's like, hey, are you okay? No. Fuck you. Yes. I love this woman. I will marry this woman if Lucenta's down.

I love her so God damn much. Are you okay? No. I was this woman. I will marry this woman if Lucenta's down. I love her. So God damn much. Are you okay? No, I was gonna say gross To be there in this woman's defense every time I have ever said are you okay and someone is responded with anything But yes, I have thought All right, but Rachel's on her own dammit So she goes walking through the park and feeling down. And this is where that homeless guy from before that she ignored shows back up in the film. And pretty sure you mean that that's the bulldog

and a human suit. Okay. Yep. So she's like, hey, you look like you're pretty down and she's like, well, you look like you're fucking homeless. So what do you, I don I don't think I've ever been talking like no, I'm very happy because Jesus loves me That's the problem. You know I love Jesus enough. You know your problem lady. I think you're Jewish That's exactly it

He also we need to point out has no teeth. Nope, nope, he sure doesn't. Nope. Oh, yes, no teeth at all. A lot of people don't have teeth, it's fine. There's nothing wrong. It's fine, there's nothing wrong with having no teeth. Look, we're not here to judge people without teeth, but I am here to judge people without teeth

who talk about how lucky they are in size. There, there. So he's like, I'm gonna pray for you and she's like, oh, all right, whatever, man. She responds to it the way I would, honestly. Cool. Do that in the room. You don't even have to be, like, you don't even have to know about it. God is the only person who needs to know that.

Yeah. And so he leaves, and I realized to myself, like, you know, that's, that's the real problem that Christians do that shit and they think that they are doing something other than harassing a person who's already depressed. Absolutely. Right. So, okay. So now we head back to the office where she's going to contemplate Duncan, the homeless

guy's words of wisdom. And Tyler pops his head and he's like, is that fetus dead? Do you have a dead fetus? No, fuck damn it. Well, she's gone to believing. She's writing like, why is this he is he full of peace? And I'm up here full of pieces. And I'm like, why is this homeless man so much happier than me when I'm a fat stupid hogar with a firm. I just don't understand. Right.

Yeah, so we get her like looking pensively at the over the water and realizing that her word performance isn't where it should be. So then we go get her pulling up to what she thinks is an abortion clinic. Oh, this was really much to get so much worse, guys. It is.

There's also this great which she goes to fill out the paperwork. She starts to write her name and she then she's like, oh, wait, wait, and she crosses it out and goes to the different one. Yeah, let's see. The name of patient Anna Bosnay, wait. Let me cross Hannah, Schmossenberg. They'll never know. Fucking spine crushing it. Shmaazenberg. They'll never know.

Fucking spy. Healing it, crushing it. Spycraft. It's a pen. And then right underneath it's like fucking your address. So it's fine. Yeah, she hands the lady to the paper. I wanted to be like, please ignore the part where I forgot my own name.

I thought you needed all the name. I realized after I started to write it that you needed mine. And specifically, you should specify on your paperwork, but yeah, so she's like, sorry you the doctor is gonna do the abortion and the Ladies like oh, this isn't an abortion clinic. We tricked you and she's like really And this is where Noah realized that fake doctors offices will be the hero of this film fake doctor's offices will be the hero of this film. Mm-hmm. And little figurines of babies in different sizes. Yep.

Also, I noticed on the desk behind her. Yep. Yep. Adorable. Yeah, so Rachel's like, well, I'm sorry, I was very clearly misled on the phone. And the Crisis Pregnancy of the Center lady is like, yep, you sure the hell were.

We're actually a Crisis Pregnancy Center. We are Christians pretending to be medical professionals so that we can harass you better. I know. Can you believe this is leading? That's crazy. It's crazy. I just want to make a quick note

that the audio in the scene is pieced together like a fucking ransom note. Right. Like she is overdubbed somewhere. Oh no, she's actually in the room and then the lady who's talking to her is overdubbed later and then the mouths don't match up. And halfway through all of that, like their good microphones got repossessed and they had to use the other ones.

Yeah. Sure. And then they had to obviously go back and change some words for the calendar or some shit or they just properly quote the Bible or some shit. So she'll be like, and then Moses, sir, job, our job. I think that's not my good. Yeah, I should point out that she says like, look, I would like you to read this

Bible passage where it says that God knew you when you were small or whatever before you were your mother's womb. Yeah. There are literal abortion instructions in the Bible, but yeah, no. God got a preview of you, like a fucking trailer on IGN. That's his position on a board. Yeah. Also, this is so fucking stupid.

Rachel's like, well, you know, this shitty ass fetus is going to fuck out my career goals. And the crisis pregnancy, the center lady is like, hmm, mm sounds like you're gonna make a great mom. That sounds like someone's lucky. Well, she also is like, let me see those beautiful eyes and like brushes her hair out of her face. I'm like, fuck is this where this fucks in comes? Right.

Is this where it comes? So look at those beautiful eyes. Yeah, touch each other a little bit more. So okay, so we finished that scene up. We're gonna don't worry. We're gonna revisit the crisis pregnancy center in a flashback later despite the fact that we actually have that scene right now, right in front of us. So, but then we get redhead telling the nurse, Uncle Jordan's nurse, about some more doodly dues. Well, yeah. This time we're going to talk about a time that he learned something about Jordan's mother or father rather that she could never unlearn or something. This is the time that my, okay, this is the only reason my parents would agree to be in the

movie. Just put up with this for a second. Yeah. Well, they cut to a Hebrew prayer and there's a bunch of fucking awesome Giddish songs, in my opinion at least partially probably because I can't hear understand the lyrics, but like, there's a bunch of cool songs and Judaism and nobody at the table is singing along. Nope, nope. So, yeah, so they're doing a little song, they're doing the accordion. And then afterwards, he's like, hey, let me bless you kids. And they're like, sure, it's not going to be a musical blessing and seeing us how we

just fucked up music. He's like, sure the fuck is, well, it's a blessing with an opening song anyway. I wrote in my notes, I'm going to get to show off my singing chops in the movie, right? Because I didn't play Tegia in the off of Broadway run of Fiddiddler on the roof, but nothing. And so fucked up too when he gets to the blessing, he's like, may God bless my son with greatness and brilliance and my daughter with kids. Yes.

Yeah. He's like, may Jordan be like blah, blah, blah, blah from the Bible. Oh, fuck the fucking Bible. And may Shayna, Shayna, may you be more owned? Yes. Yes. Because he's like, may you be more owned. Yes, yes. Because he's like, may my son be like Isaac the warrior

and Abraham the leader and may my daughter be like, okay, technically two rape victims, but one kind of tricks a guy into it. So that's fun. May my son be like war criminals and my daughter be enslaved. Wow, what a blessing. And then he's like, oh, also God, well, I've got you on the line. like war criminals and my daughter being slaved. Wow, what a blessing.

And then he's like, oh, also God, well, I've got you on the line. No more holocausts, if you would, right? I feel like no Jews believe in God if they don't include that at the end of all the prayers for now. The only honest Jews are the ones that are like, and by the way, I just thought I would mention again,

because apparently this didn't point out no more Holocaust, please. This is crazy. If you're gonna huck be about grandchildren, you should have got about no more Holocaust. And then, okay, and so then the daughters like, oh, come on, dad, come on, mom, how bad could World War II have really been for the Jews?

Oh boy. And this is going to lead us into, well Jordan's going to stutter us into apparently he has a stutter now. Yeah. That just showed up. That just disappeared when he got old and sometimes when he was younger, right? It sure. Sure.

But he's like, Dad, tell us your Holocaust story. So he's like, oh, that's, yeah, I can do that. This will be a flashback inside of a flashback inside of a flashback. Why not? In deed and they they they go back to black and white, which obviously means that this is back in time, show a bunch of like Holocaust footage. And then they cut to a table that's set a lot like this one. But fun fact, they have the same 1980s tablecloth as in that they did in 1940s, Berlin. Right.

Yeah. Either we're supposed to believe that they took that tablecloth with them through the holocaust or it's just the same fucking table, but now in black and white. We've cless with sad, cless behind. Yes. Yes. Old time, e-jury, isn't old time, e-j behind. Yes. All time, he is a mold. Time, he juice. Now, so we're going to actually get his Holocaust story in a series of flashbacks. This is only the first one, right? This is the

one where they broke in on their meal and they kidnapped him and his family. Yes. Yeah. And this is again, this is they, they can't not make this funny. The Nazis came and they destroyed our home and they said they were going to pay us, but they didn't. He ends on, they said they were going to pay us, but they did it. That's the clothes, yes. You might as well pull out a contract and you'll see, you see, right here, it says, but instead for Deva others, so, you know, I think we can all agree that the mis-pay is the worst part of the way through. So, so we cut immediately from that to a long scene of Rachel moping at home, you know,

looking out over her porch at the lovely view and it's just not giving her any sucker whatsoever. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Also we learned here that she apparently has a picture of her boss on her any sucker whatsoever. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Also, we learned here that she apparently has a picture of her boss on her mantle. Yeah. Fucking weird, man. What?

Her and her boss. She throws the picture down and they, I don't know what the cheapest glass breaking noise you could purchase online is, but they found it. It's funny because they used the exact same one in the scene before when the Nazis were breaking us. Crystal knocked. So I wrote my nose.

It's like she throws her picture through a few wine glasses apparently. That's not the kind of glass breaking that a picture frame would even make. Absolutely. There's no wood hitting the ground. No, right. Right. So she must have impaled in her something. She also declares here, I hate this corporate world. And I wrote in my notes,

her slash me when they make me do a make good for our ads. Yeah. And so they're trying so desperately to protect this whole like she's the red head and she's the one taking care of Uncle Jordan thing. But now they have to have her calling Uncle Jordan. So she calls her Babu, whose face we also don't see. Indeed. And can I just say I this ruined my son calling me Babu for the first few months. I couldn't say mama, but he called me babu. Oh no, that's terrible. And little did we know he was calling forward to this movie, just like his father always wanted. And I'm such a dumbass that this is the moment where I was like, oh, she's the hard head.

That was supposed to be real red hair. That's supposed to be her real hair. Right, yes, apparently. So, yeah. So she calls her Bob, but when she's like, Hey, I'm pregnant. I'm thinking about having an abortion. She's like, Oh, don't do that. Like that's that's Uncle Jordan always had the best advice. Right. Always. That's it. By the way, he doesn't have a follow up. He's just like, nah, nah, don't do that. He's like, isn't there somebody else you can call? And I'm like, well, that's one way to get rid of her. I guess. And she says, well, you know, I did

wander into a fake abortion clinic and they gave me a number. He's and and in their own movie, Uncle Jordan's like, you ran to a fucking what? That's terrible. Is that a thing? Why would they have fake abortion clinics? They can't possibly be legal. What happened to my stutter? That's a bonus to I have. So okay, so but that now we're gonna flash back. She's like, you know, I walked into this fake abortion clinic at doodly do doodly do, right? And we've got her. She's getting an ultrasound and this opens with the lady who's doing it saying like, thank you for giving like at doodly do doodly do, right? And we've got her, she's getting an ultrasound and this opens with the lady who's doing it saying, like, thank you for giving consent.

Yeah. And me and Noah know this, but Anna, would you like to guess why they could have that weird clumsy line inside the movie? Because I'm sure they always require consent in order to give you a fucking ultrasound. Well, also because it's so fucking early, they would not have done it on her belly like they show in the

thing. Well, of course, yeah, they added this because fun fact for anyone in the audience who doesn't know, pregnancy centers, pregnancy crisis centers, getting trouble all the time for physically forcing ultrasounds on people. Yes. And when you do it, and not a lot of people know this too, but when you're doing early ultrasounds, you don't do it through the stomach.

You do it through the other part. The butt. It's not. So I would just like to point out that I disagree very clearly. The instant that you touch the fucking transducer to the goop, a nine year old child appears on the screen all girl. And starts to dance like fucking Jerome J. Frog or whatever the fuck. Yeah, I wanted her to be like, see, that's the child and, oh, look, he's melting.

Oh, please, mommy, don't wet the big bad whibbles. Harvest my stem cells Yeah, that's exactly what he's saying you're gonna read his tiny little lips Look he's holding up a sign At one point she says I'm gonna show this to the doctor. No, you're not there is no doctor You're just a lady in Yes, I really wanted to see where she leaves the room and just like takes the picture and just like hold it in the hallway. Huh.

And just, and like, Dr. Says it looks very healthy and you shouldn't have born. And yeah, right. She's like, do what you like to hear the heartbeat? And she's like, sure. And she's like, wow, that doesn't sound much like a heartbeat. And she's like, well, yeah, we're mischaracterizing

what you're actually hearing for gilting purposes. It's not a No reason to be able to call that a heartbeat, honestly beat boxing anything. Yeah Yeah, but so anyway, she stares into the face of her unborn baby the fucking god damn ultrasound has a face and then we've Like back out of that or no, sorry, we don't back out of that flashback. We move into a different flashback that's part of the same flashback that is her phone call with uncle, I'm sorry, with Bob Boo, right? This is the part where she calls Jake. That's the French jiggle. Oh, that got a pregnant in the first place.

Friends guy. Yeah. And let's just say to Jake's credit, he's allowed to be a loan in a room now. He does much better than he seems. Yeah, he gets almost three words at a time. It's really good for him. I feel like Jake got a Xanax prescription in between shooting. He seems. Or at least got a Xanax guy. Yeah, exactly.

Right. Exactly. Yeah. But but she's like, but you've got to help me and he's like, no Just no and she's like, right. I figured that's what I figured. I might as well give it a try She thought maybe the guy who got her drunk and fucked her at a nightclub was gonna step up and be ready See I had enough faith in this movie that I thought that he was actually going to go through an arc and he was, was going to step up. Yeah. I thought it was going to pan over and just like, Bulldog homeless guy has his nose pressed against the glasses.

And he's about to like give him his, but no, no, no. Yeah. So, but now we, we back all the way out of that flashback. She hangs up with Babu and she calls Kathy, her hot friend. Ah, Kathy. Now, apparently at some point between like the time we saw Kathy, and now Satan has ripped out her empathy with some kind of a spell. She is just all the way evil now.

It's such a weird moment because Kathy's been her friend up to this point. She's like, oh, Kathy, I don't know what to do. And she's like, that's because you're fat and you suck and your wig is stupid. Yeah. Yeah. At one point she goes, it's not a baby, it's worthless tissue. And I was like, okay, worthless feels like a weird

magic tip to add to. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's worthless tissue with no soul. I, and then a disembodied hand comes around and strokes her face like I expected Satan to actually be there. Yeah. Kathy, you're doing a really good job convincing your friend to get an abortion by the way,

I just want you to really proud of you, Kathy. I wrote my notes as she calling Kathy at her volcano layer. What the hell? They literally end the phone call on a moha. They do. They do. Yeah, I got this like, sorry, I gotta run off and have some pre-marital sex. Please murder that fetus with a spear already, okay?

So you can hang out and you can drink fucker, fat fuck. And fucking Bobu is like, Ray, gee, come on, you can totally create your life and raise a child and all while bustin' your ass at a hostile work environment, look at me, I'm a mentally disabled adult who apparently can only play a chord. Yes. Yes. The contrast, those are the two sides of the argument, right?

All right, well, we too are godless, so we probably need a minute to roast our friend in crisis, but before we take a break for that Let me give act three the hard sell here Can you believe this shit? What the fuck were they thinking? Are you fucking kidding me? Find out the answers to these questions and more when we return for the all the way fucked conclusion of dying to be heard Now we're from our sponsor BetterHelp.

Out, you're on my shoulder. Well, move your head then off my body. You know, guys, my butt. What's with the gymnastics? Is this like a sex thing? Because I can leave. Hey, no, no, no, we're just putting all of our emotional weight on each other. And that could be a little tiring. all of our emotional weight on each other and that could be a little tiring. Yeah, but you know, to have and to hold, am I right? Now get your knee up. I just got a text from my mom. Again?

Guys, guys, relying on your partner for all your emotional support can be tiring and unhealthy. Well, what are we supposed to do? Well, have you tried therapy through BetterHelp? What's better help? Better help is online therapy that offers a video, phone, and even live chat only therapy sessions. So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. It's affordable, financial aid is available,

and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. So we don't just have to lean on each other. That's right. Plus, our listeners get 10% off the first month at betterhelp.com slash awful. That's betterhelp.com slash awful. All right. Plus, our listeners get 10% off the first month at betterhelp.com slash awful. That's betterhelp.com slash awful. All right, well, what do you say Anna? Shall we start leaning on our therapist for a change?

Just let me finish this text from my friend who's having a breakdown right now. Okay, you're gonna need you to be more specific. Uh, hi, Mr. Luzans. I'm, I'm not a Bosnick. What seems to be the problem? Well, yeah, I was in my garage trying to read something on the ladder and I fell. I think I may have broken my ankle. I see. Yeah, it certainly looks that way.

Yeah, so I'm gonna need like an X-ray or a castor. Oh, sorry. I should explain. This isn't a doctor's office. This is a crisis medical center. What is a crisis medical center? You see, we're Christian scientists who believe all maladies may be cured by prayer. Have you considered praying about your ankle? But you're wearing scrubs. Aren't you a medical professional?

No, no. Scrubs are just clothing you can medical professional? No, no. Scrubs are just clothing you can buy, and not copyrighted or anything. So, okay, so to be clear, you're a religious group masquerading as a medical service so that you can push your religious agenda on people at literally their most vulnerable. Mm-hmm, yeah, but hey, at least they're not pregnant,

am I right? I know, that's true. I should be in jail. You 100% should be in jail. Yeah And We're back for still more of this shit. We're gonna rejoin the action So you might think at this point while this isn't a Holocaust at all. Like most of the third act would disagree with you, right? Because we're gonna rejoin the action. We're back now in Jordan's dad's Holocaust flashback, right?

Yeah. We were all wondering how that was gonna end. Yeah. So we had a pretty good idea. So yeah, so mom jumps in and starts telling the story at this point. I feel like she could let him tell his own. It gets talking about him like he's not there, which is wild. Yeah, this is so Jewish only Jews could interrupt each other's

Holocaust story Oh my god I wanted them to start to bicker at the table. Do you want to tell the story tonight? Now it's fine. You're gonna miss the whole part about the gates. No, nothing is the bottom of the gate. What would you know if I'm gonna miss the part about the gates if you're in the right way? You're getting to that part. Raise your voice and me.

Also, so he's telling the stories like, you know, they took us on a train and my aunt hid me under a pile of bloody blankets and we cut over to Jordan, the accordion blanket, and he's asleep. I like he cut to the sister and she's like, oh, horrified, obviously. And then they cut to the brother and he looks like he's his kind of horrified, but it looks exactly like he is just falling. Yes, I kind of think he might just be asleep. You might just be drooling on his accordion or something.

Yeah. Yeah, but Jordan survived. He's, he heard his whole family getting shot outside the train, but he hit under the blankets and survived. I just wanted the kid to break out into a court. Oh, I'm sorry, Dad. Well, you not done with the story. Yes. We've had others. I was trying to

play you off. There's also there's just this weird moment where he's like, and look, I'm not going to say there's a boring Holocaust story, but this is about as boring as a Holocaust story can get, right? He's like, but I hid and

someone looked for me. But I didn't I didn't say yes when they asked if anyone was here. So that's how I escaped the show. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then music just barges into the movie and we watch Rachel be sad, right? As she imagines what it would be like to have a daughter.

Oh my God, I love this scene so fucking much. And it slowly occurs to us as we're watching her moat about that we're listening to a song about the Holocaust. Yep, I got to admit, I did not expect a Holocaust themed musical number. It's like the Spanish inququisition of musical numbers really. Oh, but is this just some disembodied singer? Yes, go. This is apparently a diogenic song.

It's she's watching this on TV. She turns on the TV and part, this is part way through the song and the lady on screen is singing it to you. And can I just say this is a cameo from Michelle Gold, who abs a fucking, Lutley is gonna be on God awful music. And I think officially the song lyrics are like, eh, you probably died tomorrow. They have images of the Holocaust in her fucking music video.

Yes, right. Now look, most religious movies realize that dwelling on the Holocaust in her fucking music video. Yes, right. Now look, most religious movies realize that dwelling on the Holocaust kind of disproves their God claims, but not this one. It's leading in and showing us more Holocaust footage. And she's fantasizing about what would it be like to have a kid? And just once I want someone fantasizing

about their future kid pooping in the bath for the past. Oh, it's not all roses. Nothing unexpected ever happens. She just gets a vision of the kid crying so hard at Vomits that we see the outside of a of a planned parenthood in the movies over. Oh, but no. So and of course, as we're cutting between Holocaust footage and her thinking about whether or not to get an abortion, you

suddenly realize what this movie's doing, right? It's like, oh, it's about both Holocaust skies. Yeah, the lyrics of this song are literally literally at one point she says tomorrow may not come. And I'm like, Yolo, have the baby. You're not the Holocaust. It's the Yolo cost. Oh, Jesus Christ. How personal how dare you? Second of all, as we're watching this like footage, actual footage of the Holocaust, did it look to anyone else like the Jews in it? We're literally looking at this video.

As though to say, you guys aren't using this as like an anti abortion thing, right? I was going to make sure that'd be pretty tasteless. If that could be a look, that's the look we got. Yeah. But of course, by the time we reach the bridge of the song song Rachel is ready to go to the abortion clinic and get this over with So she goes to a real abortion clinic. You could tell it's real because there's Christians harassing her as she walks in Yep, yep. God. They think there's a good guys. This is in there. They do. This is their movie. This is the the harassers movie Yeah, gotta say the only two other black

people in this movie who are waiting in the waiting room. Yep. At the abortion clinic. Yeah. Fucking tight, yo. Um, speaking of fucking tight, I need to talk about fat nurse who is too fat for her. And 95. Okay, whatever else happened in this scene, I'm sure you guys could tell the audience what I saw is that there's this nurse. I didn't know that N95's came in sizes, but they have given this woman an extra small and it is literally killing her. I'm watching this woman. It's, it's the size of my pinky finger and it's got her entire face smushed inside it like a vacuum cleaner. It's like someone tried to sit down in a soup bowl. That's how her face looks. Yeah, and of course she's the one that's wheeling in the, the trayful

of sinister looking abortion implements. Are you sure you don't mean manic yourself? Parapliers. Yeah, right. I think there was a ladle in there somewhere. I was also with the song is still going. We should point out and like this is interspersently with the sad dad who is telling us the Holocaust story crying as if to say, trust us.

This whole movie is related to say, trust us. This whole movie is related to itself, right? I assure you these two things you've been watching are in fact intertwined. Yeah. Right. And then as if to undercut that message, suddenly we cut to Jesus getting crucified. Just out of the blue. Yeah. crucified. It's out of the blue. Yeah, I mean, well, we cut to like a long nail being held over a pole and then it cuts

to something else and we hear the YouTube royalty free sound of a hammer. Yes, right. Kulk. Kulk might as well. It might as well come up like the fucking Batman chirons or whatever. Yeah. No, I feel like they had to cut that in just so that they're like their Christian viewers wouldn't assume they were watching a Jewish movie at this point. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So, but then we get her, like she thinks better of it and she rushes out, she runs out

of the abortion clinic. And we get an overdub of, I guess they got a New York street pedestrian to call after, hey, we'll get back here. What's the problem? Yes, what's the problem? They said. So she runs out, all the Christian protesters are there and they're like, no, do we harass you or no?

And she's like, no, I didn't do it. And they're all cheering. And I'm like, you know, she could just, they could all say that. They could all say that. They could do it. I really wanted the abortion protesters to be like, all right, well, then get the fuck out of here. You goldbricker.

Go get a job, lady. Like, yeah. I bet you expect us to pay for that, babe. Your science says you would adopt my baby. What sign? You're crazy. Yeah, and also what's the most amazing part of this to me? She drives away and we see one of the protesters praying.

Thank you, God. Thank you for talking around the abortion. Now, could you make her a little less Jewish? Right? I think that's exactly the nice line is, but now can you lead her to Jesus? Yeah. And music note I had here was amazing grace, but make it Suzuki book one. It's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

it could have been a music box. Obviously. Yeah. Your version of amazing grace is dragging everyone down. Can you pep it up a bit? Yes. So, yeah. So she drives to the lake and she cries for Jesus.

There's this amazing moment where she's like, Jesus, can you come and help me or whatever, but they have like a V.O. of her asking Jesus to come help her over her asking like to both are playing the fucking actual audio and a V.O. that's just disembodied. So fucking weird. And then flashbacks to every scene in the movie. Yeah. Yeah, no, we get flashbacks of the entire movie.

And then of course at the end of it, she decides that she is a Christian after all. Oh. finally, yay. Yeah. You did it. And then we cut back to the Holocaust story, like we've been there the whole time and that's not weird. Yeah. Right. Apparently, after a long, we dad continued his Holocaust story. Yeah. In his story is that he escaped like the train to a death camp and his first thought was to go to a Catholic church. Yes. Man, is he lucky that that worked out? Oh, buddy.

So lucky. So, yeah, so we watch him run away from the train. The ADR for him running is fucking crazy, right? Because first of all, it might as well, again, it might as well just be somebody yelling, clom, clom, clom, clom. And secondly, like, we don't need that. We get that he's running, right? There's no other sounds. There's no, we don't hear the sounds of the night in the forest or whatever.

It's just a silent thing and then clom, clomps. At one point, he jumps over a wire fence. Was that supposed to be barbed wire? No, no, a why a chicken wire fence. Really wanted him to land in a chicken coop. I don't know why I did. There's a fence to show me that. And everything.

I look at how they had to cut mid clump. They're like clump clump. He jumps and there's like a clump. Nope, nope, nope, not now clump. They're like clump clump. He jumps and there's like a clump. Nope. Nope. Nope. Not now clump. There it is. Is it jump a half a clump or no clump? No, but yeah, but eventually he gets to the church and the none open story is like yeah, I My parents died in the war. I'm not Jewish who said that your Jewish. Can I come in? She's like, yes, I was just in the middle of singing Ave Maria.

Let me finish up. Okay, music note for this was, hey, Kathy, do you mind singing that again into my voice, memo? I thought it was just someone like the music in the background, but then it touched her and she's singing. So basically, she was like, oh, sure kid, I'll come in and show me a rock. Yes, Maureen. And so it is like, you know, when I walked into the church and I was pretty impressed, it was really big. And I'm like, yeah, because they took all your money and built church with it, you know? Yeah, I got to say my response from going to a death camp to a giant palace to Jesus would not be this place fucking rules.

Jesus Christ. And then the dad is like, and I knew just then that God had heard my prayers that I was going to become Christian from that point on. And I'm like, oh, so the other six million Jews, not so much. So they didn't think of praying apparently. They didn't think of hiding or praying. Apparently not. And then of course they have to yada, yada, yada, the rest of his story is like,

and then I was adopted by Catholics. So we moved to America and then they died. And then I met your mom and then I started telling you this story. It's like, you can just end what you would you do the Holocaust. We could have gotten the rest of it. I got a slightly different story actually because he said and then and then a fucking ad started playing. So it was like, and but then beach to Sam is back on Monday's on.

The to be and placement for this movie particular. Five out of five. Oh, I mean, I think you should say I'm doesn't usually come out well from a Holocaust story, but I also I have to point out one thing about the whole like getting adopted by Cadillac's thing. He's like I was adopted by a Catholic family and I totally could have told them that I started out Jewish. I did not.

Right. But because we were in Austria. They'd have been cool. Yes You know how how so many people in Austria how many Austrian Catholics were like super dope about the Holocaust I'm sure they would have been I just never brought never came up never came up, you know Got very busy at work. So and then we back out of that and we remember that the entire Holocaust story flashback was part of a flashback that the red head was telling to the nurse about what a burden uncle Jordan was, right? He always fell asleep during my dad's Holocaust stories. But now okay.

So now we cut back over to Rachel. Rachel has all the way Christiana and this is my favorite choice that anyone made in this entire movie is that this woman who is also, by the way, the writer and director of the film. Oh God. Yeah. Really? Yep. Yep. And the movie's top reviewer. Are you sure it's not her way? Yes. I think the wig is controlling her like, Ratatouille. Yes, it's a raditude situation. With that makes sense. Yeah. Right. Right. So, but, but at any rate, so she's driving on the street and the way that she has chosen to express the fact that she is now filled with the love of Jesus is

to scream, woohoo, every five seconds and then just wave randomly to people on the street that aren't there. Right. We can see that there are no people on the sidewalk near her. She's just waving her hand wildly and screaming woohoo. Yeah. See, this is funny because I actually used to do this. I was, I never was Christian, but I had a friend in college and around Easter time we thought it was really funny to roll down

the windows and go get Starbucks and scream at the window. Well, he's risen. Yeah. We were hilarious. We had a lot of good times. I'm glad you told me this after we got married. Yeah. So, but she calls Bat Boo and she says, Hey, I'm Christian now because we're at the end

of the movie and he's like great She goes over to Duncan the homeless guy, right? And this time she's kind to him because she's she's still doesn't give him any money But she's kind to him. No, she gives him like 60 cents. Oh, that's right. You're right. Yeah. She gives him a little bit of change If that's not a change of ways I don't know what here. This was gonna go into my parking meter Yes I'm gonna park there for eight minutes left now I don't know what. Here, this was going to go into my parking meter. Yes, it's your style. I'm going to park there for eight minutes less now. For you, Duncan.

You lucky. So you really are blessed by God. So, but then she storms into Tyler's office. And Damien, if he isn't flirting with her bitchie friend, Kathy. Can I just say my heart broke that they weren't actually in a lesbian relationship? Right. At this point, we didn't at least get to see her entire fuck. I mean, right?

Something. I also should point out that like him and Kathy being in a relationship is supposed to be a revelation in this movie. But as far as like making any fucking sense goes, he might as well be in a relationship with Uncle Jordan. Like there's no reason we've never seen these characters interact. We have no reason why they would. Kathy is not a coworker of hers. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But she's like, I need a word with Tyler. Get the fuck out of here, Kathy. And she's like, I don't even know what the hell I'm

doing in this scene. Fine. Fine. And then we don't hear her telling him that she's going to keep the baby instead. We just cut to outside his office and him going, what? And then, you know, like, which obviously was recorded yelled down a haunted elevator shaft. Yeah. No, no, they went to Mickey's haunted mansion just for that one piece of ADR apparently. Yeah. That makes more sense. Yes. So then she leaves. I mean, she's got eight fewer minutes on the parking meter. So she's got to go. But because she's Christian now, she stops and talks to her receptionist nicely, which she hadn't done before.

Yes. Who we never established as a person in the, it's the weirdest scrooge moment to choose for your character. It's just to be like, I'm free now. My soul is saved. Hey, Katie. How much? How soul is saved. Hey, Katie. How much? Yeah.

Your summer. Also, how the fuck does Jesus give you stalker powers? Because like she all of a sudden knows everything about Katie's life. Right. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Like, oh, well, that obviously, she's been nice to her before.

Right? It's like God powers give you the powers of a so so mentalist. Yeah. So so so she gets back in her car. So it's driving to the road screaming woohoo to nobody some more. Mm hmm. And it's another movie montage. We get another musical right. We get Beckham Shays life, which by the way, I am immediately downloaded.

This song is, it's like Beyonce's freakum dress, but Beyonce is wearing a Yamaha. It's all right. All right. I'm sold. So, okay. So yeah, we, we, we hurry through a bunch of shit now in this montage, right? We get her at the library learning about pregnancy and or Jesus.

See, I thought she was asking for a job. I thought she was getting a job there too. Oh, okay. I was like, you are not qualified to be a librarian. You have to go to school for that, bud. Fuck yeah. So, we see her going to Jews for Jesus church. We see her giving birth.

We see her giving birth in a move musical montage. Yes, the whole birth of the child that this movie is about is just one of the many steps of this hurryed montage. Yes. We see her roommate made lover giving her tea. Yes, yes. While she's putting her feet up, very, very, very understanding roommate. roommate. Sure. I think it's supposed to be our house made or our housekeeper rather, but we never clearly established that. Never.

And by the way, we should point out that she's just as good at pretending to give birth as she is at all the other types of acting. So full face of makeup too. Yeah. No sweat to be seen. Same hair, same wig as always. Oh, and then of course we see her. Now she's at church with her baby and she meets the guy who's going to be her husband. I guess this is, I had just happened down as chineless guy. Oh, this man. He's no Jake. He's no Jake. this person looks like the captain of the math. Like his his favorite food is Tottina's pizza pockets the way mom makes them. Like someone shaved a bear and then said go find an outfit at K. Mark's.

Yeah. It's your happy ending. Why would you include in it? This is the guy settled for. Yeah. Right. Right. Exactly.

And then I wrote in my notes as a joke, oh my God, are we gonna live her entire life with her in this montage? We are though. Yes. We are though. Also, they have like a wedding on the beach with like sun, like the moon reflected in the water behind her,

but then when they cut to her, she's in a church. Yep, yes. Yeah. It's also can't help but notice she's wearing a white dress at that wedding. I guess no one told her that lying is a sin. So we get her. Yeah, they get married. We get her mom and we get chinnest dadding.

He's he's shaved his beard, which was definitely a mistake. But the end of the month, so she's pregnant at the beginning of this month. I said the end of it, the kid is like six years old. Yeah. And does not want to be in the movie. it, the kid is like six years old. Yeah. And does not want to be in the movie. No, it's like obviously totalling off to his real parents off screen and is upset when she touches. Yeah, there's this fabulous moment where they're trying to show a happy family moment when

the kids like one and they've given the child a puppet and the kid is just like, what the, this is literally for adults. But yeah, but the music eventually fades out. And it's got her, and we haven't discussed as much in the review, but she's constantly leaving herself little notes whenever the writer can't think of a way to express the thought that they, that needs expressing, right? Right. Between this writer's writing ability and her acting ability, their solution was, she'll just write down whenever she's feeling mad. I can't do it.

Right. God forbid giving her another line. Yeah. Right. No, no, no. But now she's, what she's written down is I don't want to be fake anymore. So we see her like taking off her fake nails and taking off her shitty wig. And this is where we're supposed to realize, oh my God, she's been the red head all along. But no, no, no, they are not fierce enough

for a double, double wig reveal. Absolutely not. She takes it off and there's a wig cap because they can't, she doesn't even have, obviously does not have red hair. Yeah, right. Right. So yeah, but, but we learned that she, you know, she was the red head and he, and Chin List was the, was the guy and the caretaking the entire time. And then there's even this moment where like her daughter comes up and she's like, look at this locket. I have apropos of nothing daughter. This is Jordan's mom and dad in case the audience hadn't put it all the way together. That would mean you're the grandchild of the Holocaust dude. Yes, this is the lock at the has mommy,

if I was grandpa and grandma in it. And this is the corpse of your uncle, Jordan. Yes. Jesus Christ. Look at that. This is a body. Yeah, that's he's a corpse now.

Yeah, he's in the void. He's nowhere. He's nowhere. But the kid is like, well, I'm not worried about death because I'm still buying all the heaven bullshit. And they're like, well, of course you are your six. You're six. You'd fall for a magic trick where I put something under a cup.

Yeah. And then they're going to walk out and she's like actually, actually, before we leave, one last dramatic monologue if you don't mind. Oh, the movie things are gonna go out. The movie goes to black and says, wait. Wait, yes. And then, all right, and we think the movie's over because then we get this title card that says, like,

in loving memory of, you know, all the fucking Jews that died in the Holocaust, but also all the babies that died in the abortion cost, right? And we're like, oh, well, this must be the end. There are like five, six minutes more. We have two more pages of notes here. Oh, my God. I actually watched this before Eli,

this part before Eli, and he came home while I was in it. I was like, oh, don't worry, I could just got five more minutes of it, and you know, credits as well. And then I start watching it, and I'm like, oh, no. Oh, no. And I just started cracking up, and I was like, as soon as Oh no. And I just started cracking up and I was like, as soon as it was over, I was like Eli.

I need your opinion on the ending. We need to talk. These are the most Jewish crit. These are literally credits trying to get the last word on themselves. It literally says, dedicated to the memory of the Holocaust and the boarded baby and and Jesus. It was like trying to, it was like trying to export a file in 1997 or something.

It's like, what another loading bar. Yeah. And then as if that was not enough. Right. We, we must know how everything ends. Yeah. It's though So they were trying trying to thwart our breakfast club clothes. Oh, they showed us the real accordion. Yeah, he could fucking rock that accordion, huh? Yeah, he could. It was weird to show us what that really

looked like after faking it for so long. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But so we get a bunch of like the writers family pictures, right? Yes. I have a feeling that the girl that this was actually about was one of the protesters in the scene. She was the girl that was like praying. I'm pretty sure it was the writer director star. Oh, it was.

Okay. Oh, yeah. It was also autobiographical. It didn't look okay. All right. Wow. I think that's what it was, but I could be wrong. But then, okay. So during the credits, the credits that's what it was, but I could be wrong. But then okay, so during the credits the credits are in full roll the music's playing and everything we cut the Tyler the boss

He's getting a letter from Rachel six years later than we're like what they've been six years of these fucking credits And the letter that he gets is it's like a happy holiday thing. And it's got a picture of her and the family. And he's like, ah, boy, I wish I had had a kid instead of following my career. You made the she even says good choice, Rachel. Good choice, Rachel. We might as well cut to those five year olds who were mean to her, getting a Christmas card and be like,

oh, we should have that was your man. I didn't. And then we get Duncan, right? Remember the homeless guy? Fuck your right. Yeah, we get Duncan. He's in his, and the voice over comes up and says, Duncan, we bought you an apartment because buying an apartment is a thing in this universe. And we got your dentures. Yeah. And I just want him to immediately unzip his human suit and just like go around and it is a little bulldog like laying, they can try to find the beds, turn around three times before he goes down to the grass. I just want to point out that the fact that this gentleman had dentures at the end of the movie

means that they found their friend Steve or whatever and they were like, hey, man, will you pull out your tensions for the movie so we could show everyone how sad you are without your teeth in and he was like, I mean, I could be homeless and and have teeth because I know I wear my deadgers. No, are you fucking kidding me? Actually, they were like, do you want to treat? And he was like, yes, I do. I will take my dad's house. That's true. Yeah.

I'm assuming he was a human, but in fact, he was a French bull. Yeah, he was in fact a French bulldog. Thank you very much. And then, okay. And then we, and I wrote my nose, and then we close for real sees this time, perhaps, on a fucking sermon, right? This entire movie you're like, oh, is it over now? Is it over now? And then there's an entire goddamn sermon in these fucking credits,

too. Beginning to end. Yes. With bullet points on a screen behind it. It says a sermon about the Holocaust of the unborn. Yeah, no, the fucking closing message of this movie is, yeah, the Holocaust was bad, but not like abortion bad. Now that we've all decided that we're allowed to wear these silly hats and little vest things, I think it's time, it's beyond time

that we say things are worse than the Holocaust. Yes. Yes. Because we should just, I just want to take a moment It's beyond time that we say things are worse than the whole thing. Because we should just, I just want to take a moment and pull back the camera slightly. Jews for Jesus are not Jews who find Jesus. They're Christians who are just like, and I want the hats too. Well, they're both, but yeah, but they're either that or they're Jews that convert to Christianity. Yeah, right, right. It's one of the other, but yeah, it's a different fucking religion. And then the movie's still not fucking over. It's not over yet.

It will never fucking end because then we cut to two years later. And we find out the Tyler has married shitty friend Kathy and they've had a baby so they can no joy now too. I mean, were you guys going to be fine if you didn't know that Kathy was going to be fine? The things that this movie assumes I care about are deeply bad for the incident. I just, I watched for like a minute and a half after it was over going like I've been lied to before. Is it really over this time? You go to watch stranger things.

You're like, I want to catch up with them. No, it's even more. All right. Well, so normally at this point, I would ask you what you thought the moral of the story was, but very clearly it's if you don't have the baby, your nine times worse than Hitler. So instead, we're going to close things off by asking what the next most offensive thing after reproductive rights is that you can compare to the Holocaust. I'm going to go with the KFC double down.

See, I was going to go a little bit more on theme. I was going to say it's what my, I'm pretty sure my son thinks that it's every time I want to change his diaper. You can confirm. Yeah. Can confirm. If he was interviewed now, he would definitely say that. Yeah.

All right. Well, Anna, it's always a pleasure to have you on. And click on right now because we had some listeners write in and ask where they can find more of your work. If people want to check out your album, where should they go? Well, my album is called The Ring and it is on all the music streaming apps. It's on Apple Music.

It's on Amazon Music. It's on what's the other one? Spotify. It's on a bunch of them. So you can find that anywhere. Just look for The Ring by Anna Bosnick. And also my dog still has an Instagram. If you want to follow her at Match the Pug.

Fuck, yes, she does. And well, that's good to do it for our review of dying to be heard. That's not good for the episode just yet, because we still need to dig this hole a little deeper. So Eli, tell us what's on deck. We'll be watching the teen. I believe it's skateboarding Christian movie, hard flip. Oh, I am so mad that I invited on that one now.

No kidding. We might just sucker you back in. Not speaking to you ever again, Eli. All right. So with that to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 362 to a reversible close. Once again, a huge thanks to Anna for hanging out with us today. And perhaps even a huge thanks to all the Patreon donors that helped make the show go. If you look at yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation to patreon.com.

So I got off on there by your an access to an ad free version of our episode. You can also help us a ton by leaving us a 5 star review and by sharing the show in all your various social media platforms. If you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows to Skating Aideast, citation data, D&D minus and the Skeptocrat available wherever podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can get them all out for movies and Gmail.com.

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For Heathen, right, Neil Ibozdi, I'm an Olyseus Promised to Work, hard to earn another chunk next week until then, we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. Anna went on to add a bunch of Jews for Jesus songs to her god-awful music claim. Fuck yeah, she did. Rachel went on to abort the next one. Fuck yeah, she did.

Four years later, Rachel got into an argument at the PTA meeting with that woman, Kathy. You remember her, right? She was at Rachel's birthday party. Well, they didn't do that. So Eli, my mantra is not to grow old stupid, right? Because I've just met so many people who grew old stupid and like refused to get glasses even the lady to glasses and shit like that. And it just occurred to me the other day that it's way more likely that my hearing is starting to go a bit than it is that my wife started talking quiet or all the time. And that's depressing.

Oh, boy. Well, you know, I'm sure she's just gaslighting you. I hope that's it. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle on the Thunderstorm LLC Copyright 2022. All right, preserved. The proceeding podcast was a production of Buzzle Nathana Sturm LLC, Copyright 2022, all rights reserved.