God Awful Movies - 365: The Secret

Episode Date: August 16, 2022

Michael Marshall joins us for a skeptical review of The Secret. It's based on the book of the same name, and it's about the secret of the universe. No it's not. --- Check out more from Marsh on the Be Reasonable podcast, or follow him on Twitter (@MrMMarsh). --- If you're interested in attending the best skeptical conference ever, go here: https://qedcon.org --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

And then he talks about visualization in athletes and astronauts, which is an entirely different and real and beneficial activity that they do that has nothing to do with manifesting stuff into reality. Yeah, and nothing to do with what he says either, because what he says is, you know, they put some athletes through machines and made them think about running and he says quote, and the same muscles fired in the same sequence as when they were actually running. It's like, but no, they didn't because then they'd be running. That's running. That's what we mean when we're working in a certain sequence.

They weren't running in the MRI. Oh, for movie. Movie. Movie. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be enlightened Eli Bosnick Eli. How's it going? Namaste, brother Heath. Namaste. And we also have veteran maskist and the chief skeptic of MI6. Michael Marshall is here. Marsh. Welcome back. Pleasure to be here. The interesting thing about this is just last week, I visualized myself being on the show this week. And here it is. It happened. It made it happen. It worked. It all worked. Good and bad. All right. Well, you're alluding to it a little bit. Marsh, what are we going

to be breaking down today? So we watched the secret. And it is the motivational self-help theory that if you want something badly enough, end of sentence. That's basically it. You just have to want it and that's it. It's it's for all the people who mistook when you wish upon a star as a life hack. Yeah. There's no if. It's just want badly done. Yep. Yeah. Exactly. And Eli, how bad was this whatever documentary movie? What are we calling it? Talking, talking collection of stock footage. Yeah. Well, if you love the hard eye context, sociopathic conversations of a party with too much

coke, but you hate the fun of being on coke. You will love this. This is, this might be a little niche, but this is every conversation I've ever seen Heath trying to get out of, but I left him in the movie. Every time he does ever look across the convention floor with super wide eyes and jistured his head back and forth, the film, the cinematic, at least the movie is only 90 minutes. So, that's nice. All right, is there anything you'd like to nominate this thing, men tree for being the best at being the worst at? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I've got to say best worst aspirational goals,

because what this film is trying to tell us is that there is a secret to the universe that will make it that you get every single thing you could possibly want. And all of their examples of every single thing you could possibly want are remarkably shit. It's like, oh, there's that watch you've been looking for, all that necklace you saw in a window or a new car. And it just keeps coming back to it time and time again.

It's like, think bigger, have some sense of aspiration in your soul, dream people, dream. Name a bigger number. It's just you can keep naming bigger. It's so dumb or or anything involving anyone, but you you fucking yeah, so you're bad. The entire not one person at any point in the movie so much as once anyone else to have a cupcake like a man.

They literally compare it to Aladdin's lamp and no one at any point is like, so you probably wondering about all the baby cancer. No. It turns out we're focusing on sports cars over. It says that those babies wanted that cancer. That's what when those babies actively wanted the cancer. Just super negative thinkers, those infants with cancer. Yep.

So it was, wow, wow, I was, I was going to go with best worse. No, you know what? I'm going to say best, best sexy whispering. Yeah. It's such a tiny part of the movie, but a couple moments at the beginning of one of their little segments, they decided we're going to go with a sexy whisper thing. And one of those was Winston Churchill. I win. I'm literally a sexy whisper quote from Winston Churchill. Your dreams of Winston Churchill having a many vids page or over my friends. We've got a sexy Winston Churchill ASMR for you.

It's I'm going to go with I'm going to take the easy one here and go with best worst talking heads. Now, look, we've had some terrible talking heads in our day, right? We've done Alex Jones movies on the show, but I would argue no movie we've done has more randomly placed or weirdly mislabeled talking heads. People are visionaries, entrepreneurs, three quarters of the way through the movie, we get a Feng Shui expert. It's truly impressive. A metaphysicist. That's nothing. That is nothing. It's a metaphysician.

Yep, we do have a metaphysician. He's a doctor of meta. He's a doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor. He goes into his office. He's just like, you know, meta, send him a right meta. Yeah, he makes you better by first making your doctor better. And then your doctor is good at healing you. That's what the meta position does. Yeah, that's going to be one of the experts we're going to meet. Well, I think we're going to need a quick break before we get to that. And then we'll be back to tell you all about the secret.

Secret. Secret. I'm Winston Churchill. All right, guys, the time has come to take our award-winning book, The Secret, and turn it into a Hollywood movie. Hollywood movie. Yeah, absolutely. Now, I should be clear. When I say movie, I do mean just us talking with stock footage, illustrating the most basic concepts of what we mean,

but that won't stop a lot of people from tuning in. No, it will not. Excellent. Yeah. We're going to have experts from around the globe, like philosophers, entrepreneurs, and the guy who wrote chicken soup for the soul. Wow. Cause those books are known for how much people respect them. Yes, they are. Yes, they are. And remember, we'll be spreading the message of the law of attraction, which is that no matter what you think, good or bad, that's what is going to happen.

That is exactly our philosophy. And remember what's the number one rule when you're talking about the law of attraction? Don't talk about child rape. Right. Yep, exactly. Now, let's take 20 minutes to vision board what we want for lunch, and then we'll just order what we want for lunch

and pretend we did a magic spell. Right. Yes. Chicken salad, chicken salad, chicken salad. To yourself. Chicken salad. Tsk. No, I asked the hotel, Rheumdol's don't lock from the outside. Yes chicken salad chicken salad chicken salad to yourself. She's No, I asked the hotel room doors don't lock from the outside. Oh, okay. Maybe we could prop a chair against the door. I mean we could try. Eli, Eli, sorry, one second. I got my headphones in. Oh boy. Here we go. Okay. What's the matter? Just one second. Let me get the

Oh boy, here we go. Okay, what's the matter? Just one second, let me get the nice cup. He has this fancy new smart headphones, so pausing his music or his podcast takes a while. Nope, that I activated Siri. Nope, no, Siri, pause. Pause, pause, now, pause. Why didn't just try Raycon wireless earbuds?

Oh, what are Raycon wireless earbuds? Oh, no, they're calling me grandma. They're calling me grandma. Raycon's everyday earbuds look, feel and sound better than ever. With optimized gel tips for the perfect in-eaf fit, these earbuds are so comfortable and they will not budge. Trust me. So Raycon's give you eight hours of playtime in a 32-hour battery life. Raycon's a price just right. You get the audio quality at half the price of other premium audio brands,

plus they come with three customizable sound profiles and earedwood tap functions, so pausing and starting what you're listening to is a breeze. Grandma, Grandma, I have to go. I just wanted to pause my music, Grandma. Actually, Marsha, now that you mentioned it, Raycon sent us a pair of earbuds to try, and it is the perfect fit for me.

They became my new on-the-go headphones. Where can our audience go to get a pair of earbuds to try and it is the perfect fit for me. They became my new on the go headphones. Where can our audience go to get a pair? Go to buy racon.com slash gam today to get 15% off your racon order. That's buy racon.com slash gam to score 15% off by racon.com slash gam. All right. Thanks, Marsh. OK.

Oh, finally. What did you want? He's, uh, do. Okay. Oh, finally. What did you want? Heath, do you think you could push your way past a chair if we used it to lock you in a room at QED? Probably not, no. See, told you. Got it noted. Yeah.

And we're back. And we're going to start with a narration. It says, my work life balance is terrible. My father died and I'm really bad with my relationships. He then right. Glad you're watching. He then right. We have a secret for you. We're speaking to you personally.

Yeah, a little targeted. Belated. Belated. Yeah. Although I will say zero seconds until this movie announces my beliefs were caused by a mental breakdown. And I think it's a God this movie announces my beliefs were caused by a mental breakdown. And I think it's a god off a movie's record. Yeah, it's a good.

Normally when it comes to be reasonable, I have to work quite hard to get to a bit where they admit that. And this is the first line of this film, just a lady saying a year ago, my life claps around me. And now I believe this bullshit. Yeah. This is supposed to be Rhonda burn who wrote the book, the secret that this movie's based on, right?

I think that's what they're going for here. And then she comes back at the end. No, it can't be. Is it her? Because like what we're going to see is her being given a copy of the secret, though, right? I know she, she like, I don't know what we see here. She creates, she's going to go on the internet and find the secret and then write a book called The Secret about what she found.

I think that's what they're going for. Yeah, I think the book she finds in her attic that says, Mommy, this should help. And to be fair, it's been a really long time since I've read the secret. But I feel like that came from her daughter and it was like, oh, the places you'll go were something. And that's why we only see the note on the cover, but like that, that inspired her to create the secret. I don't, I don't remember the exact story. It doesn't matter, but it's, you've read the secret. It's weird that they don't explain it in the film that they, they show us that, but don't say anything about it. It's very confusing. And they're going to try to circle back at the end, like it's all a dream. It's so dumb. Yeah. We'll get to it at the very end. I moved to New York

to be an actor. Heath, of course, I've read the secret. And yes, I've read the secret. Okay. Of course, I read the secret. Okay. Of course I've read the secret. Okay, did it work? How did that go? I mean, hey, it's become a Broadway actor or a podcast. Oh, I got all set. You got to stop thinking about the sadness.

Yeah. Okay. Well, you're in the same position that she was because what we see, we see her like sad walking through like a desert with a cocktail dress and an umbrella to kiss. And then she goes into like a hotel room and her life is in such a mess that she has to very sadly unpack all of her expensive dresses onto a four-poster bed, you know, rock bottom. Yeah.

I love four-poster beds. Like a hunter-fucked Thompson novel over here. I don't fit on them at all and I stubbed myself, but I don't care. They're just very charming. But definitely, you can't have a rock bottom on a four-poster bed. It's impossible. No, absolutely not.

But this is Rhonda Byrne allegedly and the moment that she decided to start figuring out the secret. So we get, we get like an action montage of her Googling. This is like what people think of themselves when they do their own research. It's like a hero segment of her just.

Yeah. Actually what she's doing is just typing into Google or whatever. She has a Jedi vision. Yeah. Also, as she's doing all this kind of action reading, she even, she gets so active that she grabs the lamp from the other side of the room and I move it dramatically close to all the stuff she's working on because like she doesn't know how light works. I think it doesn't have to be right next to your book for in order to like, like travels famously travels. Right. And also you didn't go to the library and get books.

You were on the internet. Yeah. Just let up from behind your screen. There were no books. Get out of here. And in this little montage, this like studying for the secret montage, we see so much shit that has absolutely no relevance to this bullshit philosophy. Right? We got that temp bar is in the open, the fucking mason's. There's an ancient Greek guy who slits his throat to keep the secret alive. Yeah. I feel like they weren't doing vision boards in ancient Rome, but that's what they've suggested here. Yeah. Seems like they wouldn't be doing it. I mean, we've got this Egyptian man and by Egyptian man, we mean a dude in eyeliner. He's not an Egyptian man. He's a white dude in eyeliner.

And he's like doing like a brass rubbing of the secret like he's a school kid in a graveyard or something like that. And I don't know why he's squatting. And at this point, he gets like attacked by a lot of guards. And every, it's a very small detail. When he gets attacked by about 60 guards, and every one of those guards is carrying a torch, like a lit torch. And that seems a very inefficient way of wielding torches. Like I think every third guard could have a torch. And again, she doesn't know how light works.

So she thinks everyone needs light or you can't see anything. It's just a very inefficient use of guards and torches. You gotta just think positively about photons. If you think negatively, then it's dark. I don't know. She's also mumbling to herself at this point. And here are two sentences she mumbles to herself in a row. And I can't emphasize enough in a row. I can't believe 100% of the great people in history knew this. Okay. Why doesn't anyone know this? Okay. Okay. Can we talk about the greatest people in history according

to this movie? The greatest, the greatest people in history knew the secret. And then they show us the greatest people in history. Those were Plato, Shakespeare, Newton, Hugo Beethoven, Lincoln, Emerson, and Einstein. So just to be clear, and this will be the theme of the movie. The secret is being a rich white guy. And I was like, okay, and a movie. That's the secret now. We all know. Great. I can't be the only one who thought that Victor Hugo got quite lucky to be. Yes. Like he wrote a couple of good books and Emerson, I had to Google Emerson. I don't be he deserved being that least. Come on. I was going to say who from like Hugo's press publicist was like slip someone 20s bucks to be like, you sure you don't want to include Victor Hugo famous author

of lame miser of in your greatest humans of all time list. Yeah. So from there, we get the title card and another sexy whisper moment, the secret. And it says the secret is the answer to all that has been all that is and all that will ever be. And that is a Ralph Waldo Emerson quote. Yeah. Yeah. I just feel like Ralph Waldo Emerson wasn't talking about vision boards when he said that. Pretty sure.

Yeah. Yeah. So from there, we meet one of our first talking heads. We meet Bob Proctor. He is a self-help author, but I think they give him a chiroin that says he's a philosopher, which you go fuck yourself. You're a self-help author. And he's like, you're probably wondering what is the secret. And then they sort of start

to tell us. And the thing about Bob Proctor, there's two things about Bob Proctor. First of all, he looks and dresses like Colonel Sanders went to trim his galti slightly, his hand slipped, and so he had to reluctantly take the entire thing off. Yeah. Look about him. That happened to me once. It was the reason I slipped and I took a chunk out and then I had to take all of it. It's the only time I ever since I was 19 years old, shaved my entire face. I looked like a very sad baby like a really unhappy baby can confirm. Yeah. I have that all the time. I can go like

a fault night between serving and people won't particularly notice. I have no ability to grow official hair. So I I've got the sad baby face most of the time. I can go like a fortnight between serving and people won't particularly notice. I have no ability to grow official hair. So I, I've got the sad baby face most of the time. But the other thing about bar proctor is every time we see him, there is a key levitating beside his head, the upspinning around that no one ever refers to. So it's like when, when he says, I know what you're wondering, it's very much, I'm wondering why it's a rakey floating next to your head. And do you know that it's there? I'll be aware, are you aware of it? Am I imagining it? Where does this come from? Yeah. So something to note about all these talking heads, which I fucking love, is that everyone got a themed background according to their bullshit. Yeah. Right. So

for instance, chicken soup guy, chicken soup for the soul guy who is in this movie. He's got a copy of his book and like the words chicken and soup written in fence. He's good. I don't know. One of the fuck this Bob Proctor guy did, but apparently he's the only one who gets a 3D fucking 90s video game floating key that will be there the entire time. Yeah. Also, so I know we will have maybe one or two people of color in the entire movie, pretty much the only one who gets a lot of speaking time is a reverend doctor also visionary is with the cold job. Yep. His background is MLK's signature and some sheet music, which was, I don't know, maybe if

he chose that, okay, but if they did it, it feels very uncomfortable. Very problematic. Yeah. Also, I just want to throw out there right now. The kai runs in this movie is a dictionary of, oh, I didn't realize that wasn't a legally protected term. Okay. But this is where they lay out the very beginning, which is basically everything is coming into your life

is because it was in your mind, right? And this is the first, but certainly not the last time I wrote in my notes, okay, but what about like child rape victims? Because that seems like that would be a big part of a problem with your philosophy. And they will never address that. Don't worry. They will never address that. It also turns out that the law of attraction is the reason for income inequality. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. He says, Bob says, why do you think that one percent of the population earns 96% of the money?

Because capitalism is fundamentally unjust system that builds skyscrapers on the crushed schools of the poor, potentially Bob. Nope. Nope. No, it turns out the Jeff Bezos just thinks about money 100 million times more than we do. Yeah. So the secret is the law of attraction. That's what they're claiming here.

So if you think about something, you get it. So it's like the gravity of wanting. And the one thing they kind of accidentally get right is that, you know, in capitalism, when you get a bunch of money, it just kind of does make it really easy to get a bunch more money. And if you don't, you don't.

But that's not what they meant at all. That is not what they were going for. They weren't talking about compound interest. Yeah. No, they were just saying they're like rich people are rich because they want it. And they think positive rich. Yes, they do.

And poor people, of course, think about the lack of money as a concept. And then they get that. So that we're here from a few more experts. Starting with John Osteroth. His job is entrepreneur and he's like, no, no, it really, it's like a magnet. It really is. That's the law. Yeah. He's talking about things being attracted to other things. And I thought, I wrote my notes. Yeah, I sure wish that more of John's shirt buttons were attracted to some

of his buttonholes. I don't need to see that far down his chest. Okay. Right after he says magnet though, some other guy comes on Bob Doyle. He's an author of something and he right after that, he says like attracts like and I was like, okay, that's literally the opposite of magnets. You just had the magnet. Why would just space it out at least have that guy talk later? I don't know. Yeah, I exactly the same thing. Like a truck like, you know, and exactly the same way that a magnet doesn't. Right. That's your analogy. Yep. And then we get Mike Duly. He's a writer. He's not an author. He's a writer. And he says, thoughts become things. And then he explains just how, you know, deep that concept is and how it fits into the law of attraction.

That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that , that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,

that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, right? No, that's... It took him a really, he does like a really long pause. He's like thoughts become things. I wrote my notes, I gotta say, for as long as I waited for the end of that sentence, I was still somehow disappointed by it. Things? You know stuff.

Yeah, I mean, thought is a noun, and that's actually what he has played. He's like, no, thought is a thing, but that's completely meaningless. But then he goes into the ridiculous claim here. He's like, yeah, thoughts send out a wavy magnet attraction thing. And then he shows a little visual aid of like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, when you make a thought happen. Yes. And you ever seen like a bad, I'm going to go with like CW TV

show where there's a telekinetic character. That is the special effect they will be using for the rest of this movie anytime someone thinks a good or a bad thought. Just like a abouish. Also, just want to know, how much do you think you could freak out the people the talking heads in this movie by talking about getting fucked by a rhino? Right like at what point would they be like, oh, you're gonna get me fucked by a rhino, okay? Just be cool. Be going, I'm not I'm safe. I'm totally gonna get fucked by a rhino. That was three. That was three fuck. What do they think happens if like Eli me and you are versus each other? One of us is gonna get fucked by a rhino and like I'm rooting for it. It's me and you're rooting for it's you.

Like, there's only one way to find out. One, two, three, one, no, wait, were you rooting for me? I was rooting for no. I was going for me. I think did you go and see who gets fucked by a rhino for? All right, 30 days.

They say usually takes 30 days. I was going to say you might both just get fucked by a rhino. They might be different rhinos. This is a terrible experience. I think we did it wrong. See this? This is why you're skeptical the year. Yeah, so we were doing bad science there,

Marsh fixed it. Cool. Yes. One other person we meet here is Jack Canfield. He's an author of the very important book, Chicken Soup for the Soul, and that entire series, Chicken Soups and different types of soups for different types of things.

And he has the weirdest point of this whole segment. He's like, so when you're, for example, an asshole to a waiter and they show us this happening, he's like, yeah, so if you're mean to a waiter, that makes your food bad because you're thinking negative things and then your food gets bad. Yeah. And I was like, well, I mean, that does potentially make your food bad, but not how you

think, man, if you're mean to a waiter, you deserve it. And it's not, it's not a lot of attraction, buddy. And also depends on how much you like the taste to come because it could make your food better to get super in the soul guy. In the stock footage they show, he's like snapping his fingers at the waiter and then later he doesn't like his food and then later he stands up and the food gets poured on him and I wrote in my notes, okay, I mean, if you snap your fingers at a waiter, they are much more likely to pour food on you.

This is a scientific fact. From there we get Bill Harris. He's a therapist and he has a story about and when I say story, a lie, he has a lie about a former student who became a very successful standup comedian who we never get the name of. No. And all of this is a bit weird because he opens the story with, I had a student named Robert, he was a gay man and I thought that can't possibly go somewhere because he likes.

And also, if this was a real story, that is a massive violation of Robert's privacy with his therapist at this point. Yeah. Second only to, he was black in the like, oh, I don't like where this story is. Yeah. Sorry, somebody asked me about the ethnicity of the person, right? No. Nobody.

Nobody. I just volunteered as sexuality out of nowhere. And it gets worse because he's going to explain that no matter that it is job, everyone hated him that he would be gay bashed on. And again, real quote, every block like he's a, oh, man, 43rd street. Those guys came to me. Oh, well, damn it. And a shirt and mic and mute. Okay, get gay bash six times on my way to work. Yeah. And the claim here is it's that guy's fault. The reason he's getting bullied, all that horrible bigotry is because he's not thinking about not that stuff. He's inviting all of it. He's thinking about getting gay bash too

much. Yeah, yeah. And then he wanted to be a stand up. He even bought like a special wacky shirt to like a very stand up kind of shirt. The whole thing when we see him starting stand up, it's like, yeah, this is, this is not going to be grade A material. Is it? This is already going to be terrible material. Okay. His material was, I'm a gay man. And then the comedy club goes fucking wild. They show us this after he learns the secret. This is after he, this is but once he changes his mindset and your magic, his core workers into quitting and getting transfers and things. And then he magics himself into being a wonderful standup. And the

only line we hear from is, I am a very, very gay man, specifically a very, very gay man. And that kills. He gets standing ovation from all 12 of the people they could fit in this tiny little room. It's true. People love it. Yeah. It just seems like, again, there's so many better uses for the secret constantly. Whenever they show us something, I'm like, okay, why not just use the secret to make everybody your job and all those bullies like die slowly of face cancer. Right. Or end homophobia. Yeah. End the bigotry. Yeah, just accept you very, very well. That's the other option is that they just become like very tolerant accepting people

who have a more rounded world view. But no, show the face cancer. Okay. Okay, Marsh. Just face cancer. I think we all agree was the better one. That's fine. Okay. Okay. So now that we've learned the story of that unnamed amazing comedian who learned the secret, we're going to get a quantum physicist, flyer, and are you allowed to just say you're a quantum physicist? You must be right. It's like, I don't think they can stop you. I mean, according to quantum physics, aren't we all quantum physicists in some sense? Sometimes, are there any way to contradict that? On the particle level, I'm skipping the year three years. In one of these universes, absolutely.

But yeah, the quantum physicist comes on and then he's gone before he says a word about quantum physics. He's just like, yep, love attraction. Can we get the Reverend doctor visionary on maybe because if I say anything about science, it'll go badly. And is it the Reverend who then says he talked about illness? He says you see it when you see that the one who speaks most of illness has the illness. So right, yeah, you do mostly hear the words, I have cancer from cancer patients, those fucking assholes. I tend to bang on about it all the time. You know who's always talking to doctors?

Fucking sick people. Didn't we encounter that argument somewhere else? I think it was David Ike. So, yeah, not great. Also, when Reverend Dr. Visionary explained that affirmative thoughts are more powerful, did he say hundreds of times more powerful than negative thoughts? And he described it as science. He was like,

he said it's now been proven scientifically that an affirmative thought is hundreds of times more powerful than a negative thought. What the fuck does that mean? What did they measure? What? No idea. Is being measured there? No idea how they could possibly measure that. It's one of the many incredibly bizarre things we see in just this one segment. Like we also see just and just before or just after this Dr. Vizmigai, we have Bob Proctor again. And Bob Proctor is telling us that nobody knows what electricity is at all, which which is only because he doesn't know what electricity is. But he says, no one knows what electricity is, but I do know this. You can cook a man's dinner with electricity,

but you can also cook the man. Okay. Which is a chilling confession terrifying, terrifying thing to know about electricity. I thought I went crazy about Bob, about Bob that he knows this for certain. He knows for certain. You can cook a man with electricity. Interesting. I was like, that must have been a mistake.

I must have misheard that. He said, I thought he said, you can also cook a man with electricity. No, he actually, you're saying he said that? That was the end of his point. Yeah, 100% said that. Yes. He is one of the two. It is 50% of his knowledge about electricity.

Well, yeah, the start of his point was literally, you don't understand electricity near the doai. And I was like, I think, I think some of us too. And then he says, you can kill it. Did he mean like electric chair? Who knows? Who knows? I think this is a confession. And then he says, you can kill it. Did he mean like electric chair? Who knows? Who knows? I think this is a confession. And I think if anybody had watched this film early

with the skeptical eye, well, Proct will be imprisoned for cannibalism. 100%. 100%. So from there, we cut to a montage of the industrial revolution. We're getting reinforced the idea that rich white guys knew the secret. And the point is they didn't want to let anyone know about it back in the day

So they made capitalism as a way to keep the secret a secret. Yeah It's never clear why I like we get the like rich white men held this back from the worker, but it's never clear why they did that Were they thinking that maybe they were in a rhinoceros fucking contest with the port? Right, because we do find out later on that everybody can be infinitely wealthy all at the same time. Don't think about it in an economic system at all. It's fine, but worry about it. So if that's what they genuinely believe, then there's no reason why the capitalist would

be like, yeah, I'm super rich and everyone else be super rich and it's fine. We're not in competition. They're worried about inflation because the Fed is a Ponzky. No, you're right. Later, they will say, no, there's infinite money everywhere. You can have more. So it's fine. I mean, there is infinite money, but it's it's then of incredibly diminishing. To be fair, learned out that the secret also planned Brexit. So it's not working out for everybody. Which is true because we do hear the quote from someone here who says, if you fall off a building, it doesn't matter if you're a good person or a bad person, you're going to hit

the ground, which in many ways is the perfect way of describing Brexit. It doesn't matter which side you're on. We're all hitting the ground together. We're all hitting the ground right. You all got pushed off by a bunch of racists in the North who thought that it was a fun prank on the rest of the country. So from there, we get a areas, the metaphysician. We meet metaphysician. Oh, Joey, the metaphysician. And he's like, yep, so everything is your fault. I am saying that. And I know you're thinking that's dumb. Well, moving on with my point, yes, it is your fault.

So now you have to monitor your thoughts and that's why it's your fault. Yeah. And then he's like, okay, but you have a lot of thoughts, right? So here's the trick. You just keep track of your feelings and those are, there's less feelings than there are thoughts. So you just got a positive feelings. Yeah, it feels like they keep catching how bullshit their own ideology is.

And then just making up more bullshit, like a five year old who you've caught with a hand in the cookie jar is like, oh yeah, and then what did Spider-Man do? Well, you need to bundle your thoughts into emotions because there's 12 thoughts to one emotion. And then each emotion is worth the parsec. But if you have the right space, Mandalorian, I'm just like, okay, guys, it's okay. Otherwise you can't fucking right now. And it's amazing how often they'll just stare straight down the barrel of the problem

of evil and not realize it's a problem because he is literally like everything in your life, including the bag things, you know, you attracted those. And I know that sounds like we're shifting the problem of evil into the territory of personal responsibility. But yes, I am literally doing that. End of sentence. It's like guys, you're supposed to dance around that. Jingly keys fight.

Someone hand this guy some keys, get my proctor back with his floating keys so we can jingle it. Look, I know it's their movie. And they're never dumb enough to like be like, what about childhood leukemia, but somewhere along these people's career paths, someone had to bring this up to them, right? Yeah. I guess they must not have.

No, they were just like, stop being negative. Yeah, they also point out that it's very key to start your day with a happy thing because if you start your day with a bad thing, then it's just bad all day because you started like a train, right? Yeah, they illustrate this. And the show woman who stubbed a toe in the morning. Okay. And then just the rest of her day is her being trapped in one of those. There's got to be a better way in for her. She's just doing pratfalls for like five minutes throughout the beginning of her day because it started with a toast tub.

Yeah. And then she's spilling milk all over, falling down and up escalator infinitely. And it's the advice that this movie gives you is so stupid. We see a guy who's thinking negative thoughts about his bike because he locks his bike up with several different bike locks. And it shows that because he's so worried about losing his bike because he locks his bike up with several different bike locks. And it shows that because he's so worried about losing his bike when he comes back to the bike, it's been stolen because he was thinking negatively about, oh, I don't want my bike stolen.

But that means the advice from this movie is, don't lock your bike up anywhere. You're going to get your bike stolen instantly if you do it that way. Or if you lock it up with negative two locks, you get extra bikes at the end of the day. They never think big. I wish someone would steal my bike. You come back, you have three bikes. Shit. Okay, well, that brings us to my best worst.

I think one of the best parts of the movie. We get a sexy whisper quote from Winston Churchill. Marsh, do you have a good Churchill? I don't, I don't think I can bring in, do you have a good sexy whisper more? But I was gonna say, do you have a good sexy whisper, Winston, Churchill? I don't know that I've got a good sexy whisper,

all a good Winston Churchill. So you do a really bad sexy whisper, then, of this line from, honestly, you know, okay, okay. Now I want a line of Marsha Radica just like Oh, I'll be going at you for you and you ASMR. Yes We peaked podcast over this is a short one everybody. I'm sorry

Come on Mars, just give us a little taste. So we're the one Churchill. Well Winston Churchill I can't even think what you put me on the spot now I can't even think what you've put me on the spot now. I can't even think what Winston Churchill sounds like other than horrendously racing. Yeah. All right, there you go. Give us a couple of slur words, you know. It's the you can create your own.

No, I've gone mad. No, no, the narrator because the narrator also tries to do a sexy Winston Churchill is like, I rubbed. Yeah. I rubbed them. In my head, it's just, there's a church, there's a dog on an advert, which is based on Winston Churchill, like an insurance advert. And that's the only thing I can get to in my head and I can't, I can't, I can't do it. It's good. But the quote that we have is, you know, you create your own universe as you go along, which is like, it's weird to have a quote from Winston Churchill at this point, because

it might as well be like, you can make anything you need happen, as long as you're willing to starve almost four million people in Bengal to death in order to get it. To be fair, Winston Churchill was thinking much more positive than those four million people were. That is true. That is true. He wasn't thinking, I've got no food. He wasn't thinking that.

This is also where they mentioned that pets are super good for you because they make you have positive thoughts And when this happened in the movie I looked over at my pug because she was next to me on the couch And she looked at me like, hey man, don't put that weight on me. Take your bets. Don't this none of it. Nothing. No It's not real And this is also where they say like think of a baby and we see a baby crying and it's like, you know Not what a happy baby is. Not that baby, but not an asshole. Not like a good baby, not an asshole. Not a shitty one like this one that we just shoot you.

Yeah. And, you know, when you feel love, it's a great state of love is what this, and it's just, it's the whole fucking thing. It's just topology the movie. When you feel ex, it is ex. Great, thank you, yeah. Also, like, I just have to point out that like the whole

thing here is like, if you think positively and you have a happy attitude, you can live your dreams. Our coworker Noah lives his dreams. And I once saw him be mad at a Ness Spresso pod. Like, I've never seen a human being completely disproved the secret before. And I hate to say while he's on vacation, but I the jury, I would like to present no elusion. It's okay. A man who once became enraged at exit 90, eight, that pod and that exit were both being quite impertinent at the moment.

Yeah, I mean, he know all the anger, I think. All right. Well, I think it's time for a quick break, and then we'll be back with act two, the middle third of this same thing of the secret. Secret, secret, secret, secret. I'm Winston Church. Bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, bra, you plebe. Well, well, well, well, guys, what's all this argument? Keith is ruining our trade coffee. I'm elevating it to where it deserves to be. Guys, guys, what's trade coffee?

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Hmm. For the moke. Fools, Dean, how dare you? Okay. Okay. Hi, I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Michael Marshall. And I'm Heath Henry here to tell you about the magical secret to success that

they don't want you to know about. With this secret, you can make more money, have a better job, and see all of your dreams come true. That's right. And that secret is white straight cis male upper middle class privilege. With white straight cis male upper middle class privilege, you can manifest your dreams because all of society and all of our economic system is designed to help you personally do that.

That's right, they are. Just pitch you what you want and let the universe, and by universe, I mean the fact that you are the little tip of the pyramid of human existence in history, do the rest for you. White straight cis male upper middle class privilege. It's human existence on easy mode. Literally all the medicine is made for you. Just you. It's true. It's for us. And we're back.

And of course it's time for some more sexy whispering. It's time it's just a lady saying happy words, but also the predator clicking in agreement. Yeah, we do get some predator clicks in the background. That is strange. Also it's the type of whispering. It's not just like a single whisper. There's like multiple overlapping whispers, which is always the universal sign for all's going swell here. There's nothing problematic here. Also, this is where, and I mentioned this earlier

that like the movie will constantly be like, Hey, should I double down on my bullshit? This is one of the double down on the bullshit where they were like, hey, so you're probably thinking of this point. It's not like Aladdin where there's just like a genie, great, great, great, great, great great. Yes, it is like a laden lamp. We bought some Aladdin footage to double down on it. That's not an exaggeration.

Somebody was saying, what are you always saying? And then right after that, somewhere in the guys like, it's just like Aladdin's lamp. Yes. And the literally says it. And he says, it turns out we checked on this. It's not just three wishes. You can get infinity wishes if you want. Seriously, we checked and I was like,

you checked with the genie. How was that checked? You checked the documentary of Aladdin. Yeah, and they say like, what does that tell you? And I said, well, it tells us that it took a while for the rule of three to catch on in storytelling. That's literally all the tell us. And this is where we're finally going to get the process. Right. Well, the rule of three is caught on now. Yeah. So we get a three step process.

Yeah. And we're going to use it with a shitty little kid who wants a bike. Yeah. Right. So step one, it's all low rent. Everything is so low rent. Oh, you get a brand new bike out of the mystery to unlocking everything you desire in the universe. You get a, yeah, a fairly decent, like semi new racer. Wonderful. Does that pegs? Well, no. Did you ask for pegs? Well, no. Okay. But yes, step one is ask, you ask the universe, and then you write it down, wait for it, in the present tense, they tell us. Yeah, so you write, but you want, but the universe kind of a stickler about grammar, if you use like passive voice or past tense or subjunctive, it gets mad and you don't get it. Present tense only. It's also it's weird in that because he says, you know, you write it down, you don't even need to use words to ask for it. You just write it down.

But like, then what are you writing? If not words, like hieroglyphics, what do you do? Yeah. At one point, he says anyone who ever accomplished anything doesn't know how they did it. I wrote my notes, a terrifyingly false. Right. By the way, step two is believe. And the whole point again is just like, Hey, if any of this ever doesn't work, skeptics, well, we just explained it with step two. You didn't believe right. You didn't step too hard enough. Yeah. And honestly, I was so sure there were about to go into somehow the Heisenberg uncertainty principle here. They did not. I was actually kind of proud of them go into somehow the Heisenberg uncertainty principle here. They did not.

I was actually kind of proud of them. They didn't, they didn't ever mention that in the whole movie. Don't they? Well, at this point, don't they also say like step two is answer. And it says answer, but like the universe is going to do the answering for you, which, which isn't a second step that you're doing. That is the universe doing it. That's not, that's not a step at all.

That's correct. But step three is very important. You have to receive that answer. You, the universe can't just give you the thing. You have to receive it. So there's a whole step for getting the good stuff that you wrote down in the present tense. Right.

Were they having a lot of problems with people actualizing their dreams? The bike shows up to their house and they're like, no. See, this is why people are poor. We tried to give them money. The universe was like, here you go. And they didn't receive it. They wouldn't take it.

We're showing up with checks for hundreds of thousands of dollars. What do you mean you don't have a bank account? That's crazy. Whatever, you stay poor now. Yeah. Oh, God. And they give us really bad advice, like terrifying advice at this point as well. Because you say, you know, in order to get the thing that you want, just do whatever

you need to try and get in there. So you're going order to get the thing that you want, just do whatever you need to try and get in there. So you're going to test drive the car that you want or get in the house, look around the house that you want, just do anything you can to take what you want. And at this point, the stock footage could straight to a person circling lonely hearts ads, which is hinting towards an incredibly grim conclusion of that. I might just start fucking we're telling you, oh, wait, no, put that from the movie. Then we get the volleyball game segment, which was confusing. Okay, I stopped paying attention to like which guy was it's a bunch of white guys for the most part. So some other white guy

comes on and he's like, you got to receive everything, including, for example, the invite to play volleyball when you're sitting off to the side of Beach volleyball game and one person's like, Hey, do you want to play? And then we watch the person be like, yeah, okay, I'll receive that. I'll play some volleyball. It's the worst possible volleyball that ever why show us this horrible failure at volleyball. We watch her spike it into the bottom of the net and she hurts herself and she's wrapped up in it by the end almost chokes. It makes no sense. She's falling down the

escalator again. Yeah. They also do this great little cold channeling bit at the end where they're like, you probably want to see this for yourself. Well, what if you think about a cup of coffee or an old friend or a parking space. If any of those things happen to you in the next ever, yeah, this movie is real. Yeah, yeah. And this is just after we saw the quote from Martin Luther King as well.

And I thought, look, if I was gonna make a film about getting what you deserve, my goal to positive example wouldn't be a guy who got assassinated. He just crucially forgot to use the secret for that. He was shaving that morning. He was like, I hope nobody shoots me. He kept thinking, yeah, I don't want to get shot. I don't want to get shot. Obviously he got shot as a result. Negative Nancy. That's what they say about Martin Luther King. Yeah. Also, by the way, just circling back the parking spot thing, you can do that. That's

actually real. Most of this movie is bullshit, but you can't actually do positive visualization for Tim while he's having a psychotic break. Well, you make, I've done it. I do it all the time. You've seen me. You can't do it. They can't stop you. You're legally you're allowed to try and do that. Yes. Keith, can you think of anything that people do in a parking lot where a time spending activity might make it more likely or less likely that you would get a shirt that says lucky parking spot guy. And that's what does it? Did you make the shirt? No, somebody else made for me. I don't believe you as a joke. No, because I really have that problem. I'm mocking you. He waited around outside the T shirt shot shop. I thought I'd pass the talk about T-shirts and I got it.

It's kind of a confusing one because you actually have to, you have to visualize an empty spot and empty is negative. It's, I'm an advanced, get on my level. Okay. Is what I'm saying? Get on my level. All right. So now it is time.

We'll test the security this year. It'll be fun. Yeah. Now it is time, we'll test the security this year. It'll be fun. Yeah. Now it is time. Shut up. To learn. To see it with tears running down his face. And it makes him march. Why did my powers are six hours behind?

So if you look tomorrow, the spot, yeah, it's six hours time this spot is going to be empty. I promise. Yeah, just it's documented. People have seen it's six hours time. This spot is going to be empty. I promise. Yeah, just It's documented people have seen it rhinos Okay, well you're probably wondering what the Buddha said about the secret and how that works. Yes He said something it doesn't matter now a metaphysician again is gonna Tell us how to use the secret they skip right past Buddha

I think of a some bullshit quote that has nothing to do with it and they move straight to the next guy. And look, they get so close to a good idea here, right? I get scientifically founded good idea, which is the power of gratitude. Yeah, right? Because like gratitude journaling and gratitude affirmation, those are all really good things and they have psychological benefits that have been studied. But this movie was like, shh, shh, shh, we're going to talk about selling magic rocks. And I'm like, God damn it, the secret movie. Yeah, absolutely. You'll be grateful.

So fine, positivity is a really nice and useful thing. No arguments there, but it's really easy. It's much, much easier to be grateful when you're rich because you made a fortune in self-help books. It's really easy. Be grateful at that point. Yeah. But he tells the story of his gratitude rock, right, that he was practicing gratitude

and he picked up a rock and every time he touched it in his pocket, he thought of something he was grateful for. And again, that's a very useful thing. But then a South African guy is like, Hey, do you have any more gratitude rocks lying around? And instead of explaining to him, Oh, no, that's not what this is about it's about mindset. He was like, yeah, so I went down to the river right, dug him up some gratitude rocks. And I could I just say I gave him to him for a steal. I gave him a really good deal on these gratitude rocks. And specifically to heal his son's hepatitis is what he says. He needs the rock. I'm a kid's real sick. Can you give me a rock? And the guy's like, yeah, I'll just go and

grab one at the river. That'll sort you right out. And the movie sells it like it worked. And then the South African guy and his formerly heptatic son start selling rocks for $10 each to other robes essentially. Literally they do. I was so sad about this. And I assume these rocks also repel tigers while they're at it. We were getting this story. And it was like, yep, so the rocks healed the dying sun. And I was like, okay, well, now they're lying great. I'm going to take a wild guess.

They're going to start selling the fucking gratitude rocks two seconds later in the movie. We've sold over a thousand rocks at $10 each. I genuinely expected them to like have a number up here at the bottom of the screen and to get your gratitude rock. A one eight hundred rock rock rock rock. And it as he's talking about like people being poor as well, we see this like stock footage of like people in a slum, which is clearly in India and they're trying to like work hard with all their con with some fabrics in order to make some money. And yeah, I'm pretty sure all those guys in that Indian slum are going to own a mansion right after they watched this

documentary. I'm not even convinced that they were paid to be in the stock footage that this documentary is now currently exploiting. That's the system we're in right now. Yep. And so now we've learned about the gratitude thing. You've got to have the attitude of gratitude and that rhymes and throughout this movie, they like almost rhymes some other things too. And they're like, that's deep advice because it's sort of rhymed.

Step two, after gratitude is visualize. And this is where we get the psychologist guy who taught NASA to do positive visualization. Yeah, so they mix these two things really insane here, right? The first thing they introduce is that we have to sit there and imagine our dream car. Like literally we're supposed to sit there as full grown adults watching a movie

and go like, room, room, room, room. Yeah. Here I am in my Toyota Accura, whatever the fuck I'm supposed to be wishing for. And then he talks about visualization in athletes and astronauts, which is an entirely different and real and beneficial activity that they do

that has nothing to do with manifesting stuff into reality. Yeah, and nothing to do with manifesting stuff into reality. Yeah, and nothing to do with what he says either because what he says is, you know, they put some athletes through machines and made them think about running and he says, quote, and the same muscles fired in the same sequence as when they were actually running. It's like, but no, they didn't because then they'd be running. That's running. That's what we mean. You mean they're working in a certain sequence. They weren't running in the MRI. They just start running in place inside the MRI machine.

Also, you know, you have to only think, don't think about the process, think about the end result, think about what you want at the end of this. And that is terrible advice. That is not how athletes visualize when they're doing visualization to help them with help with sports. They visualize the process so that they are thinking through every single step of it to get to success. They're not just picturing themselves in a podium and saying, well, there's my training done for the day. That was so good. If you watch an Olympian doing their visualization training and they're just like, he's the best, he's the fucking best. Fake biting the metal, yeah, Hank.

Just doing the fist gesture on either side of their hand. Yeah, rule. Oh, what's this groupie's name? So Ryan, no sitting on a couch next to him. I have no idea who I'm supposed to fuck here. You've given away too much power. Oh, and this is where we meet the guy who invented the vision board. Yes. Yes.

Yeah, so we meet vision board guy. He invented this in 1995, and it's exactly as dumb as it sounds. You just put a picture of what you want on a board or you make a collage of stuff you want and put it on a board. And then he explains how he got his whole family. They're beautiful house using the vision board technology. Yeah. So the story that he tells, the story that he tells, and this is so bizarre. He's like, yeah, so you know, I made my vision boards. I packed them up. We moved to California to my dream house. And then I unpacked it and

I realized I was living in the house on my vision board. Yeah. And I didn't even know it. And I'm like, well, then you weren't really paying a lot of attention to your vision board. Yeah, exactly. As if you've gone through the entire process of buying a home and you didn't realize it looks exactly like the pitch that you looked at every fucking day.

You did not do this. This is such bullshit. Might as well say. And then I opened up and the photo was of the woman I married all along. And he poses this in the idea of like telling it to his son. And you can see the kid being like, Oh, dad, I feel like you might have a really terrible mental illness. And he's like, shush, shush, daddy's vision boards are magic. Let daddy cry on the floor. The best, he actually adds that to the list again.

So I started explaining that and my son was like, that's fucking dumb. But then I was like, no, it's not. Cut. Yeah. And then we get an Einstein quote. We're not gonna, fuck you. Absolutely not.

Oh, Einstein had nothing to do with this. We definitely learned that there aren't many women in history who've ever said anything secrety. That's not the thing that's happened. Statistically, women say about 70 secrety things to every 100 secrety things men say. Get on it, ladies. Yeah. No one but yourself to blame. Speaking of 70% of the money, we finally get something useful here, the secret to wishing for money. And we get the chicken soup guy explaining how he grew up believing that money takes work. He had the old time he dad who was like, money doesn't grow on

trees. Turns out, yes, it does kind of if you think of a tree with money growing on it. Yeah, he said that his dad thought that rich people, you know, he always said, my dad always said that rich people must have ripped people off to get there. And anyone who's got loads of money must have deceived someone along the way. It's like, yes, yes, correct. Your down was correct. Yes. Yeah. So he tells a little little bit of his story before he got all rich from chicken soup books. He said one day to himself, all right, I'm only making like $8,000 a year. I want to make $100,000 a year. And then he explains that he just acted like that was true. Yeah. So he just started spending money as if he had the budget of somebody with a six figure salary at that point

in like 1990. Well, no, what it seemed like he was doing because he was like, you know, I want to make a hundred thousand dollars. And I realized all I needed to do to make a hundred thousand dollars was sell four hundred thousand copies of my book, which seems to indicate that it hadn't occurred to him to sell his book before. Yeah, yeah. His idea to make a hundred grand was to sell the book that he'd already written, but never previously thought about selling. His self-help book, even, that he'd never previously thought about selling. That was the epiphany, yes. But then he realized where he wanted to sell his book. His dream vision of publication was the national and choir. Yeah, you know, the thing in the grocery store

that tells you about Bigfoot and John Bonnet Ramsey, that was his dream place to sell his book. And this is where he like goes to an event. He talks about the book at an event somewhere, and a freelance journalist from the National Inquirer comes up to him and says, you know, can I have your contact details? I'm from the National Inquirer. And as she says, the National Inquirer, her eyes go like, ding with a little light. Do they do that every time she mentions who she works for? Because that's going to be really inconvenient at the rest of the time in her life. But yeah, his amazing Get Rich Plan was to get a national magazine to write about the book

that he'd already previously written. The secret happened for him. Yeah. I really wanted her to follow up and be like, Hey, any chance you got fucked by an alien while you were writing it? Nope, just normal booker. Okay, why? So work with this. Sure. That's fine. It's fine. Right. It's fine. So we made a bunch of money on the book. And then his wife was like, hey, you did that by wishing, it feels kind of dumb. Use a bigger fucking number, man. Let's do the wish again for more money.

And he's like, oh, yeah, that's a pretty good idea. And then then he wished for a million dollars and that worked. So he sold even more. He sold a million dollars worth of profit. There's also a pretty insidious undertone to this section on money of like, well, look, if you've got a bunch of credit card debt, just ignore it. Act like you have the opposite of that amount of money. The Eli Bosnick story. I was going to say, I can tell you that does not work. One might say it's the opposite of work. And so the guy

who's saying this, well, we meet like a guy called David Schirmer, who's an Australian guy. And he says, you know, I didn't want bills. I wanted to get checks. I wanted $25,000 worth of unexpected income within the next 30 days, you know, something totally believable and that kind of thing. And I looked up this David Schirmer guy, because he says, you know, I get all these checks in the mail now. I was like, yeah, first of all, you get checks in the mail because you started selling bullshit to people in financial peril. That's pretty easy to start getting checks.

Well, I'd like to know if you Google his name, the first thing that comes up is David Shermer X-Ball Z on an Australian current failed program called 60 minutes. And it's entire hour on what to crook this guy is. And I watched some of it. And the great thing is, if you watch it, they only decided to spend an hour investigating what a crook he is because he got in touch with them trying to get free publicity out of their program. And he's like, oh, would

you do a piece about how amazing my investment advice is? And they're like, yeah, well, we'll certainly look into your investment advice. And they completely screwed him. And he was like, hey, I didn't say look into it. I said, would you do a piece about how good it is? All right. Well, I hate these people. So we're going to take a quick break for another Rhino contest.

But first, let me give Act Three the hard sell. Will the placebo effect be more powerful than medicine? Will we learn about quantum oncology? Mm-hmm. Will Marsh, as you can hear already, be bleeding from his nose and both ears in primal rage as we discuss all of that. Yes. When we return for act three of the secret.

Secret secret. Hi, Mr. Johnson. I'm Dave Parchek, your metaphysician. Now I hear your ankle is giving you some trouble today. Yeah, I was on a ladder in my garage and I fell weird. And well, you can see it's all swollen. It hurts to walk on. Is it sprained, you think, or maybe broken, or?

Oh, I have no idea. You see, Mr. Johnson, I'm a metaphysician. So I work with a body's natural ability to heal itself. Oh, how does that work? Right, so take your ankle, for example. I bet since you've fallen, and it's about all you've been able to think about, isn't it? I mean, yeah, it hurts like real bad.

I'm sure it does, I'm sure it does. Well, have you tried not thinking about it? My ankle? Exactly. Just try not thinking about it for like a second. Okay. And how was that? It was fine, I guess. That's right. That's right. Because you weren't thinking about your ankle. And the more you don't think about your ankle, the less your ankle is going to hurt. Oh, okay. But what if it's like broken or something? It might be broken.

Well, the only reason that you'd know that is if you're thinking about it. So just don't, just don't do that. Got it, okay, okay. All right, all right. Well, get out of here, you're scammed. Thanks, Doc. Ow, okay, it really hurts to walk on it.

Up, up, up, no thing to talk about. Yep, no thinking about it. Got it, Doc. Sorry, thank you. I am an excellent doctor. So you guys are sure you don't mind me, Stamford, innit? Not at all. It's a long plane ride, so totally get it. All right, here we go. Oh, pepperoni. Yeah, all right. Sorry, are these hot pockets frozen?

Yeah, sorry, Marsh, but with no agon vacation and my kid headed into preschool, he didn't just haven't had time to cook lately. Yeah, just trying to think of it like a, like a gazpacho, except harder and colder, obviously. Right, guys, if you want fresh and easy meals that are ready in a flash, why not try Hello Fresh? What's Hello Fresh? With Hello Fresh, you get farm fresh,

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That's money back in your pocket. Yeah, Hellofresh actually sent us a box to try when they became a sponsor and the meals were delicious and unpacking was a breeze. I, he then right, personally, endorsed it as a product, personally, me. We go to Hellofresh.com slash awful 16 and use the code awful 16 for 16 free meals across seven boxes and three free gifts. So I go to HelloFresh.com slash awful 16 and use code awful 16 for 16 free meals across seven boxes and three free gifts.

That's right. So I think I'm going to get going though. Oh, hey, if you take your pocket with you, it'll probably do for us by the time you get home. Yeah, I, I'm going to pass. I'm going to pass. All right, you're lost. Are you calling a pocket because you didn't heat it up? Didn't heat it up exactly. I see. I see. Yeah. And we're back. When we left off, somebody was lying for three sentences and then someone else was lying for three sentences. And now it's time for more of that.

That's the entire format of this movie. And we're going to learn about the secret to relationships next. And let's see. I'm not saying that like manifestation of money isn't weird and fucked up in its own way, but manifesting other people's will and emotions is a weird fucking goal. Terrifying. 100%.

Absolutely. Yeah. Even Aladdin's genie was like, I can't make anyone fall in love. Right. Yeah, because Aladdin's genie was not a Feng Shui expert. Clearly, that's the capability that I was missing. Because obviously, at this point, we need a Feng Shui expert. So, you know, quick go find me a middle-aged French lady, you know, a real authentic Feng Shui

expert. Yeah. So she explains that she had a client. I don't know how this is related to Feng Shui at all, but she had a client who was a painter and he would paint women who kind of had like a coquettish look to them. And she was like, they don't seem interested in you personally. Here's what you need to do. You need to paint women that really are interested in you very clearly and put them all over your house. It is actually worse than that, Heath. It is actually worse than that. He has a bunch of like artful nudes around his house and she's like, well, what do you want in your love life? And he's like, oh, no, fuck two women at

the same time. And she's like, paid that. And we watch him starting to paint that. Yeah. And this is a guy who like, she said, I've got a client who's very famous, a film producer by which she 100% means porn, 100% means porn. Oh, this is a porn actor. Yes. He's a porn actor. Absolutely. And he said his goal in life was to date three women a week. And she's like, yeah, fine. You know, women of commodities, just like cars. That sounds like a very healthy attitude. Let's do that. Let's solve that. And so yeah, he starts painting women who are into him. And she's like, a house you love life now. And he's like, yeah, I'm getting poon morning noon and night. It's just constant banging over here. This has worked. It's actually

three a day. I guess the painting universe didn't get that I meant week, weekly. Did I have to write weekly on it? Cause I drew the three, whatever. Now I'm thinking I want to settle down and get a wife. And she's like, oh, so paint a wife. So we painted a wife. And then he got married. Yeah. So that's fun. They use the secret to like do weird, you know, Shakespearean fairy spells on people and change their love. On people, it goes back, the wife like turns out to be really naggy. He goes back and like paints out the nagging.

And could I paint her with a different mother-in-law? Absolutely. I know. Go ahead. Throw that in. So next up, we have the secret to health. That spoiler, it's wishing for health. Okay, to be clear, let's point out,

this movie has been bullshit so far, right? And pretty like shitty bullshit, like not something you'd want to expose people to, but it says though the creative team of the movie got together and they were like, I mean, right now we're not literally going to kill anybody. So what do you say? Should we kill people?

Should we fix that? Yeah. So secret to health. I was thinking, oh, cool. We'll probably hear from a doctor at this point. Nope. Quantum physicist. And he says our body is really just the product of our thoughts.

And this is just to set up his whole thing about the placebo effect. This is when Marsh descended into madness. My notes are good from here on in. It's just like, oh, God, they're talking about the place. No, no, the placebo effect does not have quote, the same effect or a great effect, the medication. That is both the basically isn't a placebo effect. It's just people writing effect than medication. That is bullshit. That basically isn't a placebo effect. It's just people writing stuff down wrong. That is basically what the placebo effect is. It's so infuriating. Marsh, I'm not the scientist here, but correct me if I'm wrong, if the placebo effect was

the same as medicine, then there's no such thing as medicine. No, absolutely. Absolutely. And they even say, you know, we're not against medicine. Medicine is a good thing to do while you're learning how to do something better. Sounds a lot like you're against medicine, to be honest. If you have to clarify that you're not against medicine, you're against medicine. You absolutely are. Yeah, yeah. And just in case you weren't taking this specifically enough, they're like, no, no, seriously, cancer, for example, is just the body telling

you, you need to think positive. Here's a tumor until you start thinking positive. And literally, we then get the story of some lady who cured cancer with not medicine, with Charlie Chaplin. Well, just before we see her, and I think this is an important kind of in terms of the chronology of this documentary, we first learned from a guy called Dr. Ben Johnson, who's an osteopathic doctor, and he's also a naturopathic MD. Are those real? Well, osteopathic doctor is American soil, who the fuck knows? It depends whatever doctor plus wherever he studied. naturopathic MD is bullshit. He's a naturopath. He's fucking naturopath. Got it. osteopathic doctor means you got a regular doctor degree and then you were like, well, maybe I'll also learn some fake shit.

Exactly. Yeah, just to really confuse your audience. But I'm also hooked to sprite from a minute. No, absolutely not. Yeah, but he's also he's the core founder of a company called Thermography Unlimited. And Thermography is a form of ineffective cancer screening that constantly misses tumors. It uses like heat to try and detect changes and lumps and heat spots in your body, but it doesn't fucking work. So what happens is, for example, people have got a tumor and it misses

it and then they get really ill and then they die and it's a result of the people selling them bullshit screenings. Hold on. Does he tell them about Charlie Chaplin though? Yeah, what kind of movies were they watching while they were doing this? It feels like an irresponsible doctor. This is the problem you see because the other thing the homography does is it tells you you've got a tumor when you don't have a tumor because it's constantly giving out false positives. So what happens is a nice lady suddenly gets a diagnosis of breast cancer from a thermography decides, I think I can cure it with magic and comedy. And then the next time she has a scan, she doesn't have a tumor because she never fucking

had a tumor. And now she believes that words of magic and thoughts of magic and we don't need medicine. And this happens a fucking lot. And this is her story. You know, I can't say for certain, but she does come immediately after Dr. Ben Johnson in here. So, yeah, I think we can understand how she was able to get rid of her cancer by just thinking positive if you didn't have cancer in the first place, potentially. And this is the thing about Ben Johnson. He says, you can hear all these different diseases. I think he's the guy who also says,

we hyphenate the word, try and hyphenate the word, dis-ease. It's not disease, it's dis-ease, a state of ill-ease. I thought, well, yeah, but why don't we hyphenate other words? Like, you know, we hyphenate the word, try and hyphenate the word dis-ease. You know, it's not disease. It's dis-ease, a state of ill-ease. What? And I thought, well, yeah, but why don't we hyphen it? Other words, like, for example, hyphenate, hyphenate. It's like the word ate a hyphen. I can do it too. It also doesn't mean anything. But Dr. Ben Johnson here, he says, diagnosis, you know, there's lots of diagnoses out there and he puts scare courts around diagnoses. And that is not a good thing.

I literally wrote in my notes, if you put scare quotes around medicinal words, you're a murderer. Yeah. And all of this, all of this would be bad, but not so terrible if he himself wasn't claiming that he cured himself of Lou Gehrig's disease using the secret, which is what he claimed to have died. Yeah. And then he died in January 2019 after a quote, short illness, presumably after he received a quote diagnosis on the way.

And if you look at his obituary, put his obituary on Facebook, all of the comments are anti-vaxxers speculating that he was killed by the medical establishment. So this is all great. This is just great. Interesting, Marsh. You bring up a very interesting conspiracy. That's my takeaway from everything you just said. Cool. You sure sound very angry at this well-known charlatan who probably killed a bunch of people, Marsh. I wonder why that is. Like, as he's talking, he doubled down it all. He says, you know, this is cannot live in a body that's in a healthy, emotional state.

So he's literally saying, if you're ill, it's because you deserved it. So I guess after a while, his emotional state became significantly less well in the run up to January 2019. But if you're thinking, that sounds bad. He then doubles down. You know, he says, you know, if you talk about your disease, you're going to create more disease cells, like cancerous spread via word of mouth and both. That's not how

cancer works. You're livers just talking to your pancreas. I'm telling you, man, he's so negative up there. You don't make as many cancer cells do you want? It's so wild watching Ben Johnson tell us that you can think yourself better out of all illness and that your body will just heal itself regardless what you have. When we know that he's dead from an illness as we're watching this. He does. He does. He's got a lot of carrots.

Yeah. Or Marsh is working for big data or Marsh murdered him. You decide who wins it is. He's not even the only one who starts giving us this bullshit about health because then we get to see, you know, Reverend Michael Beckwith who, you know, the Reverend Doctor who comes in. Sorry. He's also a doctor in a visionary, Mark. He's a doctor in a visionary. You're absolutely right.

He says he's seen cancer dissolve and blindness cured. And you're right that he's listed as a doctor, but it's D.D. as in doctor of divinity, not as in like the King term, D.D. Maybe he's both, because like what is God, if not the old G daddy, Tom, I'm pretty sure that's what God is. Yeah. Also, and this has to happen in every bullshit documentary we're watching. I love it so much.

There's always the guy who goes, now obviously, like, if you fall and break your leg, that medicine is good at that because we haven't figured out how to fake helping that. But the invisible stuff that doesn't kill you until after your check clears, that you come to us for trust me. We know what we're doing. And obviously that's just their soft to appear reasonable. Look, we're not totally crazy. We don't think all medicine is terrible. We think the bond stuff is fine. The rest of it is useless, but we're pretty reasonable people at this point. You know, we find a nice healthy medium between actual medicine and absolute bullshit.

Right. For example, if you crash an airplane and get horribly, horribly injured, but then you write down, I'm going to be fine soon. That's a good use of this. And we actually get the story of that. It's the story of Morris E. Goodman. His job is miracle man on his car run. And he crashed an airplane. And we unlike all the other talking heads from this movie, we don't see Morris.

Goodman right away. No, we do hear him. And I think we've all got the same notes from his speech. I'm pretty sure his story isn't full recovery from the playing crash with no lasting effects. There's not a lot of people, you know, with disabilities, I've altered passenger speech, not a problem at all absolutely reasonable But it's bizarre to have your people can heal everything if they just wish hard enough film include a care study Where someone is clearly been left with long term damages a result

Yeah, just don't go look if you have a speech thing and you that's fine More power to you. Just don't call yourself the miracle man and we'll leave you alone Yeah, hello It's nice to meet you. It can be the healthiest man you'll ever meet. But we do eventually get a look at him. And he looks like, you remember that cartoon, kids used to draw in school with the nose, speaking over the wall and the eyes and the fingers. He looks like that in a cowboy hat. He does. He does look like that. Right. Yeah. So he crashes. They were playing. Got horribly injured. He was taken care of by, you know,

real doctors in like a real hospital of real medicine. Mm-hmm. But then he wrote down on a piece of paper, well, he blinked it out and somebody wrote for him, I'm going to be fine by December. And I'm walking out of here. And then he sort of did do that in December. Yeah, just after a short eight months of operations, ventilators, intense physical therapy, speech therapy, after all of that, he was finally able to walk out the hospital exclusively thanks to the power of positive thinking and nothing else, obviously. Yeah. Nothing else was a part of that. It was just him and his good old positive thinking. Okay, here's my question. Alright, this is your movie, right? You're making the movie and you have chosen

to have this guy walk out of the hospital and you're illustrating it with a paid actor. This isn't the actual footage. Why wouldn't you just have him stand up from his chair and walk out? Instead, they show him taking like two steps and then shitting his pants and curling up to die on the curb. Like we don't need, we didn't need to know how badly the walking out of the hospital went. No miracle man, you could have fudged it, buddy. Maybe accidentally like put shitting on his vision board. You never know. Some people like shitting. He was thinking the whole time you think of don't shit yourself, don't shit yourself. Don't shit yourself. Yeah. Classic

mistake. Get you. Everyone makes that mistake. All't shit yourself, don't shit yourself. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no This is, okay, so the whole time we've been watching this movie, I'm thinking like, okay, but if you've got magic powers, aren't you ending hunger, aren't you ending poverty, aren't you ending war, and the answer is,

no, yeah, no, we're not. They bring up war, but the problem is everybody's anti-war, and that creates more War the key is you have to be pro peace Literally, yeah, and if you don't believe us Maybe you'll take the advice of famously perfectly ethical mother Teresa And this is where they say as well, you know, that you need to ignore all the bad things in the world.

You need to focus on what you want, but not what you don't want. But what if I don't want to focus on what I want? What do I have to think about at that point? Singularity. Then you just fold in on yourself. Yeah. You lost them. Yeah.

You lost them. But they do, okay, they do finally bring up the thing I've been saying the whole time as I'm watching this. They say, okay, but what if everyone uses the secret? Now, it's like, you don't try to answer. This goes badly for you guys. That's super dumb. Well, this is where we get to the, the macroeconomics theory of this movie. Turns out there's infinity money to go around. If we all wish for infinity money, that's fine. They just print more. And they show us like money being.

The mint because that's what happens. And they also, what they're pitching here as well is don't think about the bad things. You know, think about the good things. You know, when you have to kind of picture rainballs and kittens and, you know, that's going to help the weavers, obviously, if you're not thinking about the bad things in the world. And they say, you know, if you do see something you just, you dislike, don't mention it, don't think about it. Don't even join groups that push against it because that's going to increase it. Just do your best to just ignore all the things you don't like. And so this whole movie is

just pitching denial as a self-help tool. And I'm kind of there for it, to be honest. I'm kind of at the present. Yeah. Because like many years ago, many, many years ago, my goal was to be a professional skeptic. And I visualized that goal. And now here I am leading groups that explicitly push back against things. So how does the secret explain that? So now we have money, relationships, health, and the entire world, we still need to learn about the secret of you. You need to get you using the secret. Okay. Did someone else make these title cards for them? Because it feel itself. And tell me if I'm wrong, it felt like they were faking through this last one because they didn't have anything for you.

Right? It was like the secret to you. And I was like, oh, maybe this will be about the relationship with yourself or what it means to like be a person or how to find peace within yourself. No, they're too busy being like, your hand is Adams. Yes, yeah, yeah. Dr. Ben Johnson is saying that everything is energy, which is ironic, because he's basically no longer energy. That's what you've been consuming past on. So you can talk about something in lots of levels. You can talk about it at a universal level. You can talk about it at a subatomic level. So yes, you can, but most of those levels are unhelpful because of scale.

None of those levels are useful for many, many things. Hey, man, how the atoms in your elbow doing? What's that? I'm a crazy person. I'm a great, turns out I'm a crazy person. And this is also where he insults quantum physicists and Christians simultaneously, which I was pretty impressed with. He's like, if you ask quantum physicists about the universe, they say it's always existing forever, all time, all powerful energy. And if you ask Christians what God is, they say the same thing about God. And I was like, actually I think both of those people would disagree with you.

It's pretty impressive. Yeah, I think they would. And then that same guy's like, well, and speaking of God, check out this guy here with barbecue tongs and a beer inside of a koozy. And we just watch a guy at a barbecue spin in tongs around his finger and then they just move on. Yeah, it's nice that they got Tom from cognitive dissonance to Camille in this. It's legit.

But with like shinin in in in in in his sound effects. Yeah. Like he was going to matrix himself up a steak. I think this is when somebody on on the crew was like, Hey, you use that mother Teresa quote. She's actually pretty evil. If you go back and look at her history, why don't you try a Henry Ford quote here? So that's what we get. A Henry Ford quote. We don't get a sexy whisper of Henry Ford, which was disappointing. No, Henry Ford just yells his quote like they all went into the sound studio and Henry Ford was like, fuck that. I'm not doing that.

That's what the octa-run one. Anyways, there's infinite energy or whatever. Buy me a rubber plant. I invented square dancing. Yeah. So we get, I don't know, it doesn't even matter. Henry Ford said something. It doesn't even relate to any of this. Well, there's still one more secret missing, the secret to life.

We meet Neil Donald Walsh here. He's an author. We're three minutes before the end of the movie and we're getting new fucking talking man. Brand new talking head. Yeah. And this guy's so weird. What the whole thing he does here is so weird. It's so strange.

Now, he's he's talking about, you know, there's no blackboard in the sky. That says Neil Donald Walsh on it. You're like, yes, correct. And then he carries on to dispute the existence of this hypothetical blackboard. And I don't know. Nobody's asked him to do that. Nobody said, Hey, I think there's a hypothetical blackboard, but he's he's pretty insistent on convincing us that there isn't a blackboard in the sky, apparently. Yeah. This guy genuinely sounds so much like Michael Scott giving advice to the board that he was never ever for any reason over for anything. I think he might have been an atheist sneaking in a little bit of

atheism. That's like the most optimistic interpretation of this guy I can come up with because he does say at the end of his thing, he's like, so, you know, point of what I was saying is do whatever you want. There's no judgment at the end from a God with a chalkboard or whatever. And I feel like him and Reverend Dr. Visionary got in a fight on set and he was like, fuck that. You know, I'm just sneaking like a semi atheist thing in there. And then they close it out with just the general idea that the secret is, yeah, be a rich white guy.

Like, that's how you do it. No one else can dance your dance. Yeah. Rotten my notes. That's certainly true. Yeah. And then I feel like they said to themselves, all right, we should probably show like a couple not white guys here. And they do a

quick montage that has a little bit of diversity for like 30 seconds. Yeah, but like college brochure diversity. Right. Oh, yeah, 100%. Like they've just bought out the stock footage library for the term diverse and just put it all in the second. And then the actual, the literal final words of this little segment right here at the end is a Reverend, a Reverend, Dr. Visionary saying, now that is what I know for sure. Pretty much end of movie, except for we're going to come back to the like flash forward flashback thing. So stupid.

So that's, that's when we get a reminder that it was all a dreamer, all a narration from Ron DeBurn, who has a shitload of money because she wrote the book, the secret. Right. But again, we just have to clarify, they never introduce who she is or who she was. So we just see an Australian lady walking through the desert in a ball gown and then here at the end of the movie, she shuts the book and that is the fucking end of it. Yeah, fucking pointless, seeing her absolutely pointless. All right, well, I don't know if there's a lesson, so let's just, let's just close with this. What is the picture at the center of your vision board?

Okay, well, given the overlapping crises that are currently engulfing my country, the pitch would be a glass of water next to an affordable energy bill. Maybe a passport that'll get you into the Shengen zone very easily. Oh, God, an Irish passport. An Irish grandma. That's what my vision would manifest. An Irish grandma, I'm sorted. Yeah, you and he both, but for very different reasons, I've seen his search history. He thinned an Irish grandma together. Absolutely. Yeah. Eli, what do you think? Center of the vision board legal, something legal. Oh, you didn't tell me I had to be legal. So now I don't know what I'm doing.

Eric cake, carrot cake. All right. I think that's going to do it for the secret, but that's not going to do it for the episode just yet because we found another terrible movie for next week. So Eli, what's on deck? After the horrific death of his wife and two sons, suicide seems to be the only escape for a small town attorney until he's assigned a capital punishment case that begins to transform his life. We'll be watching the trial. All right. With that to look forward to, we're going to bring episode 365 to a merciful close. Huge thanks to Marsh for joining us as always. And Marsh, I hear you might be doing

some kind of conference in October. Yeah, absolutely. With some sort of theme thing. We're doing QD for the first time since 2018. It's been so long since you had a QD. You guys are coming. You're doing a live-gull-off movies on the big stage in front of the big audience. In the main, main auditorium, that's gonna be super, super fun.

Just a bunch of doctorates and us. It is. It's like that every time. It's super, super fun. Just a bunch of doctorates and us. It is. And I collect every time. It's every where we go. Alectic speaker list online up of people. But yeah, no, we've got so much stuff planned. We've got more stuff in the work. You guys going to be doing some stuff that we haven't announced yet, but there's some stuff that you're going to be doing throughout the course of the weekend. It's going to be so much fun. So what when is that? That's Halloween. So it's the weekend of Halloween, 28th of 30th of October. Tickets are super cheap, but like 120 pounds. So that's like probably at this point, like $20 or something given the the tanky come hang out in

the UK and take advantage of our crashing economy. It's like a grocery cart full of pounds cash. Whatever that comes at you live in Britain or Europe, you have to come. This is how you see us. Absolutely. So yeah, got a QEDcom.org and you'll see all of the stuff that we've announced and even more stuff coming. So yeah, it's going to be amazingly good fun. I can't wait. Fantastic. Serious note, though, it's the best conference there is. If you could possibly make it to one skeptical themed conference, this is the one. It's so good. Been to it multiple times now loved it every single time.

All right, and of course, big thanks in addition to our Patreon donors for all the generosity. If you'd like to help support the show, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash godawtholf. That'll get your early access to an ad free version of every episode. And if you enjoyed this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows, the Skating Atheist, citation needed, the Skeptocrat, and D&D Monas, available in all the podcast places. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email GodawfulMovies at gmail.com. Legal Services for the podcast are provided with a lot of offices of P. Andrew Torres.

Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slahnek of Evil Giraffes on Mars. All of the music was written and performed by our audio engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week. For Martian Eli, I'm Heath, promise to work hard, turn another chunk next week. Until then, we'll leave you with the Animal House close. Some of the people who watched this film went on to buy a new car. So, you know, soon, I will be worth $100 million of

her dollars. Martian Eli made out super hard at QED, and if they didn't, I want my money back from this movie. Two votes. Also a rhino or something. In my head, this next one had a voice. I'm going to see if I can get into the voice. But it may not work. Are you going to be an American metaphysician? Yeah, it was kind of like a, I, I see him as kind of a middle aged glasses quite, quite a, a balding kind of guy. Not, I, I realize I'm describing

you live. That's not what I mean. Yeah, I was just saying. Now, honestly, if you just did a super anti-Semitic voice, it's always me. You're a metaphysician. Okay, now I'm not going to do the voice. No, I was thinking, yeah, it's kind of like, hi, Mr. Johnson kind of thing. Oh, yeah, you're absolutely a Midwestern middle-aged white guy. You have possibly, I would say a sweater vest on. Yes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Pleated chinos from from dockers, probably.

Yeah, little Jonathan Jerry going on in there. I feel it. Okay. You got, you got a weirdly good Jonathan Jerry. You nailed it. It was Jonathan Jerry. Oh, winning to Joe. That was a really good double double. We have to steal his identity as a prank now. That's it. Yeah. production of Puzzle and on Thunderstorm LLC, Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.