God Awful Movies - 446: Walt's Disenchanted Kingdom

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

This week, the guys team up with a live audience in Orlando, Florida for an atheist review of Walt's Disenchanted Kingdom, a documentary that exposes Disney's purported sexualization of children. Brought to you by, of all things, the Catholic League. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

I'm talking about the walrus come you're talking about not the walrus I would have preferred you were talking about the walrus come proud of the walrus okay he loves the wall that's true that's true there's no politics to walrus come not device I don't want to explore that I don't want to explore that so we're gonna give you that one. Sparkledonkey, there's no politics to Walrus Cum. So the thing is, is if I say Sparkledonkey to Keela, now with no Walrus Cum, that is a true statement. God awful movies. Movies. Movies.

Movies. Movies. Movies. Movies. Movies! Movies! Welcome to God Off a Movies Live from Orlando, Florida! This is, of course, the podcast where we're each week we sample another selection from Christian Cinema because I'm pretty sure that's the only entertainment still legal in Florida at this point. I'm your host Noel Ellusions and joining me from stage right, of course,

please welcome my good friend Heath, Enright Heath. Welcome back, sir. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. That is Sparkle Doggy Tequila. Yeah. Also known as El Budo Esparcalo. I enjoy it. It's the tequila for making kids gay. Just like unnamed Smishnishmerald.

Yeah, no, we'll get there. We'll get there. we'll get there, but first, we also have to welcome in, joining us also from Stage Right, please put your hands together for my bad friend Eli Bosnick. ["Bosnick"] Listeners at home, Eli appears to be wearing some type of red,

fawn type thing and some ears, some round ears. Eli! Eli, what are you supposed to be? The mouse. I'm the Mickey Mouse. I think we can get away with Steamboat Willie, but... Um... I think they'll show us if I say this is Steamboat Willie.

I think we can undo the idea of copyright legally. So, I don't mean to nitpick, but that is not what Mickey Mouse looks like. It is when I Google him. Yes! So I don't mean to nitpick, but that is not what Mickey Mouse looks like. It is when I google him. Dude, did you bring normal clothes? I brought normal clothes. Okay, good, good. Glad to hear it. All right, so we got it. we have to kill some time. He, how's Orlando treating you?

Orlando's fantastic. Yeah, yeah. And I actually, this is good. I have some very important information I learned today at the Starbucks here in the Orlando area. It's about Jesus Christ, her Lord and Savior. I have the pamphlet that I got. So, yeah.

Somebody walked up to me, a Jehovah's Witness, it turns out. Yeah. Asked me if I'd like to hear, you know, her important pitch. She gives this to me. She says, so, you know, Jesus died 2000 years ago, approximately, for our sins, very important. And here's the best part. Our Lord and Savior is coming back this month. Yeah.

Yeah. March 2024. And they're having a party for that, which they have scheduled. And I was like, okay, that's great news. And she's like, that is fucking great news. And I was like, are we all invited to the party? And she's like, you are all invited to the party. Would you like to know where the party is? Yeah! For Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior of the universe, the party will be at the Ramada Kissimmeateway Convention Center.

So not like Orlando, Orlando, but like, pretty good for Jesus' party, right? What if they're the ones who got it, right? Right. And the sky opens up, and the fucking biblical unicorn with blood falling behind it lands next to the copious amounts of handicap parking at the Ramada. And he pulls the sword from his teeth and he's like, not worth it. Take it back. What I love about this the most is that they've got a backup plan in case Jesus doesn't show up. There's a different party at the Ramada a couple of days. There are two parties.

There's the memorial one that's just annual. Yeah, right, right. Just in case. All right, so with that out of the way, tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched What will be breaking down today? We watched Walt's Disenchanted Kingdom. It, yeah, I guess. I heard an ooh-ooh. It's the story of people going to Disney World and a mouse mascot says, hello everybody, and they're like,

stop sexualizing my child. Yep, yep. That's their response. These people I'm describing are called Christian And they're like, stop sexualizing my child. Yep, yep. That's their response. These people I'm describing are called Christian, and they made this movie that we watched. And Eli, how bad was this movie? Well, if you love the mentally ill ramblings

of your local abortion clinic protester, but you wish he did it drenched in the blood of the baby he had eaten for breakfast. Right, yes! You will love this movie. But you wish he did it drenched in the blood of the baby he had eaten for breakfast. Yes You will love this movie. Look, here's the thing about this movie We watch a lot of movies where bigots say mean stuff and we're like bad bigot Don't say mean stuff, but this is a movie about victimizing children made by the Catholic League Yes movie about victimizing children made by the Catholic League.

Yes! Yes! The Catholic, we had to have a team meeting beforehand where they were like, Eli, you can only say, really build on a hue? A certain amount of time. The whole podcast can't just be Eli going, really build on a hue of the Catholic League?

You're gonna try your best to make it approximately that. It's going to be a lot of that. All right. So is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best or being the worst at? Yeah. I'm going to go with best worst and another thing. So did anybody watch this piece of shit?

Whatever you want to call it? OK. OK. All right. So you're aware they're trying to make their main point that like, Disney's making kids gay, okay. All right. So you're aware they're trying to make their main point that, like, isn't he's making kids gay, whatever. But several times they're like, and a fucking other thing, it's not related to that.

It's just, you know, the guy at the bar, he's the last person in the bar, end of the night, and he's like, and also fucking vaccine. Nobody's here. There's nobody. And the vaccinations, they actually. Yeah, no, we get there. We get there.

You got that to look forward to. So I was gonna go with best worst loaded questions. Unfortunately, this was restricted to the very beginning. I mean, not restricted, but like the guy who was master of this was only in the very introduction that Will Whit guy, but he was just wandering around Disney and he kept asking children like, what would you rather be gay or have fun?

Right? There's another one that agrees with us and he just did this like eight times. I loved him so god damn much. I wanted one kid to be like, gay. Yeah. Have you had your cock sucked by someone who has a cock, Will, whatever your fucking ass is? It's the best. There's no question whether or not they're gonna swallow you come it's a treat Anyways, I gotta get back to my sixth birthday, but this isn't great You a child, Pug of Pegacort?

Yep. I'm gonna go with Best Worst Green Screen. Oh yeah. So Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall and hosts this movie. And they decided to have her do it in front of ominous green screen But their lawyers were like if you show a single Disney property, I will kill myself in front of you So it's just like It's amazing

All right Well, no doubt DeSantis is deploying his operatives to this location as we speak, so we're going to keep the break brief and when we come back, we'll dive into all the shameless disinformation that is. Oh! Dammit. And I already milked the fucking heart attack sympathy early. Oh, you used it? I already used it.

This could be a stroke. There you go. We'll This could be a stroke. There you go. We'll be back in a minute with even more Walt's Disenchanted Kingdom. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

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He'd stop agreeing with Ray Comfort. When he's right, he's right! Ha ha ha ha ha! Gentlemen! Yeah, Bill, what's up? You need some? Yeah, you guys are in charge of our movie department. Is that correct? Well, I yeah, I mean we mostly just film long shots of churches and put a video on Facebook that says

You know happy day of the Annunciation of Saint Periquis, but yeah, but yeah, I mean yeah perfect perfect perfect I need you to make a documentary. Oh, about what? Oh, one of the gravest threats to the church and the human soul that we have ever faced. Oh, wow. Is it about all the child molestation? Yeah, or the seized Nazi property during World War II that we definitely still own. Or the homophobia. The racism. And the mass graves, which indicate an orphanage system much more like a death camp

than a place of refuge for the most vulnerable among us. Um, no. Oh, wow. What is it then? There's a gay guy in the new beauty and the beast. Oh, right. Yeah, we'll, we'll get on that. On it, yup.

We still own Nazi property.. On it, yep. We still own, not too proper. Like a lot, man. Oh, a lot. I think you know full well we do. And we're back! And I love this so much. This movie starts with a not touching, can't get litigious disclaimer

right It's so long, but it's just like we're gonna do the whole movie with question marks at the end So it doesn't doesn't really outward just ask any questions The last line of their disclaimer it says these views and opinions should not be taken as statements of fact and are not it's Should not be taken as statements of fact at the beginning of the movie. And are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual.

So. You're welcome, Mesopotamians. Yeah, right. Us too, by the way, Disney. We also disclaim. Not true. Fuck Mesopotamia. Wait, wait, where is Mesopotamia? Between the two rivers. Literally the name. I want to go with somewhere else. Sweden.

Yeah, you can, yeah, fuck Sweden. Sure. you can get away with that. But yeah, so they tell us that, they tell us that this film is not affiliated with the Walt Disney Company in case we were in danger of not figuring that out. And then we get... Someone's just sitting in the Disney boardroom meeting, hey fellas, what about fuck us? We're always making those imaginary pictures we put up on Disney Plus for Eli's artistic sun to watch, but what if we made one where it's just like, fuck us, you know? That's like the thesis of the movie. It is, though, yeah, actually.

So yeah, so and then we get the splash that you always get in these documentaries of like a couple of the different talking heads that we're gonna see making their best points, right at the beginning, one of them says like, you know, once upon a time, Disney was the family network. I'm like, yeah, they changed the name to Freeform in 2016 for some fucking reason. I don't know, they still own it, I guess.

We get teased with the fact that Ben Carson will be in this movie later, so. Hell yeah! I'm excited about that. How has Ben Carson's eyes gotten more closed? Because they were all the way closed when we met him, and now they're somehow inverted, like other people's eyes are closed around him?

Yeah, yeah. No, but he does leave, I'm sad to say, he does leave his invisible boobs at home for this one. Normally when you see Ben Carson, he's always got both hands. He doesn't do that in the movie. So, and, oh, and we get a glimpse of Bill Donahue looking all fucking pre-craying like he does. Fuck, yes. Bill Donahue has a scar on his lip from where he killed a family, but a young swordsman, bravely.

Yeah. That one. Yeah. He's like a villain origin story. There's no way Bill Donahue looks in the mirror every morning and is like, I'm the good guy, this is what the good guy looks like. If mashed potatoes had glasses and were racist, that's me, and that's probably what the good guy in a story looks like is me. Yep.

He looks like Sloth went to men's warehouse and I think he likes the way he looks. He does. I'm just saying. Yeah. Oh, no. So yeah, we get one guy, he says, you know, that Disney threw away all of their good graces as a company deliberately. They got very political.

And then to demonstrate that, we cut to a Disney logo with a Pride flag in it that some chick has decal on her breasts. I don't think that was an official Disney decision. I don't think it was, though. But can I say, if so, go Disney. Yeah, right? Just, this is the year of tits. You'll buy whatever we're selling. It's mine.

Disney tits. It's the not so scary Halloween this year. Thing about it. And of course then we have to confront, for the first time in the movie, we get this like man on the street who's like, well, you know, we're not happy that Disney's grooming our children and then we're all like, it's made by the fucking Catholic League. That'll happen a lot. I like that they had to blur just a star on that guy's shirt. What, like, they were gonna get sued by Outer Space? I don't know, maybe.

Well, and what I love so much about this beginning is that they keep saying, like, they'll be like, you know, this is incredibly dangerous and the children are at danger and take us very seriously. And then they'll cut the images of Goofy and Mickey Mouse and shit. And we'll be like, how do you not see this, guys? Or like happy children. Right, right, yeah.

And now we're gonna meet our host. This is Mercedes Schlapp. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Hey, hey, if you grew up with that name, you'd have turned out to suck too, okay? All right, everyone, first day of school, Schlapp. And you're like, yeah, I'm gonna be a fucking homophobe when I grow up. What the fuck else am I gonna do?

She married somebody named Schlapp. She married it to Schlapp. Yeah, yeah, no one wants, she knew it was Schlapp. You know a to Schlapp. Yeah, Matt Schlapp. First lady Schlapp. You know a kid's movie where a mean lady at the end, she's all covered in water and she's been dyed blue. Yes. And her dog is shaved.

That's how Mercedes Schlapp starts looking. Sorry, I was trying to close down a ranch. I'm Mercedes Slap. So, and as we're getting over the fact that her name is Mercedes Slap, we become aware of this dystopian Disney background behind her, this best worst background, and it's just like Disney World reimagined by a talentless Tim Burton. Um... So Tim Burton. So Disney World.

Okay. All right. Yeah, I'm not afraid to split this room. We're in a fucking fight. We're in a fight. I'm leaving. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid to split this room. Psh. All the gods in the room are having their first emotions. S-

S- S- S- S- Must have more buckles there's there's second after they saw that image of the new crow but yeah so right yeah every empty seat you see in the theater that night is a goth who's at home just yes to the new crow so that was masturbation for you at home. If you passed. Yeah. Good.

That's how hard they're doing it to the new, have you seen the new crow? Apparently not. Let's just look at the images from the new crow instead of the podge. All right. All right. While you're doing that, I'm going to move on to this next scene where... That's right. Where...

We're not online, you're not online, man. The Wi-Fi didn't work. I was imagining it. We were doing some fucking space work, no illusions. God damn! You know the first thing that comes, it's fine. Just drawing the magic. So, he has offline, he has it offline. There's a reason for that.

That's actually a condition of the theater actually. No, you watch three hardcore videos and all of a sudden you're not a guest of the orange shakes or Lando or Lando shakes. Yeah, I'm sure they wanted you to get it right at that exact moment more than any other. Anyway, Mercedes slap. She got a doggy tequila watch porn on public internet. Apparently she will not have sparkle doggies name a line like that. So yeah, but Mercedes tells us that the Disney movies are quote, served with a side of sexuality and gender ideology. Yeah, right? I mean, look, I've seen a Pixar mom, so I get it, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Well, and they say that Disney is going to render parents powerless. And I'm like, look, man, if Disney can take away the power from the parents they're talking about, I'll forgive them the parking fees, shit. I'm all right. So, okay. And then we meet our other host, and he'll sadly disappear from the movie. This is Will Whit. He introduces himself. He's, you know, he's foolish, because his job is podcaster. master and influencer right. Right. Yeah, he's got a side hustle of in like you couldn't make yourself worse except

adding the word. There's all you could do. Yep. I think he just does our job plus he expects his meals to be free everywhere. He goes. Oh, sorry. Did you not see my 27 followers on Instagram? So, he paid for me to say something.

Maybe that's for the table. Yes. So yeah, so he's going around. He trusts him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So he's going around, Will Whit, he's going around harassing people on their way into Disney, asking them stupid fucking questions. But he finds like the guy in the don't tread on me shirt. He thinks Disney should go back to their roots. Now that's sad, but the expression on his child's face makes it awesome. Yeah, doesn't it?

I don't know if you all saw it, but that kid is blinking for help in SOS. He's like, the dad is like, well, I think in the kids just like, I'm turning gay right now. You might not be born this way, but I'm gonna fuck a drive. You can do it if you try. They don't want you to know, but you got it.

And you can do it. You can. It's about solving an over, but yeah. Be brave. I'll do it. So the Markle don't get to Kila. So he goes. It's about breathing. It's about breathing. The bravest choice is to be gay. Sparkle don't get to Kila. That should be their Pride Month campaign. Yeah, shouldn't it though? I don't know if I like this one. Pride Month campaign. Yeah, shouldn't it though.

I don't know if I like this one. We're not even done with the credits yet. So as a matter of fact, this is the part of the movie where the credits come up and tell me that Tony Perkins is going to be in this movie. So if you're not familiar, Tony Perkins is the most obsessed with cartoon genitals of anyone outside of Eli. It's really incredible. And he doesn't even have the decency to jerk off to him.

Right, yeah, exactly. He's just, well, we don't know. He doesn't have the decency to admit he's jerking off. Thank you, thank you. So yeah, so, and Will Witt's still running around. He says to one family, this is again, this is a direct quote. I'm not making this shit up. Do you prefer your movies to be fun and entertaining rather than to have some ideological message? Do you like fun, squintin' in the nail? Or gay, blah. Boo, who said boo?

Someone said boo, someone cool. Probably an influencer. Yes. As I'm writing that down, he, do you have some little kid, like seven-year-old kid, do you want politics in your movies or do you just want to have fun at the movies? Jesus Christ. So then we, with our credits wrap up, we get the title, Walt's Disenchanted Kingdom, and then Mercedes introduces us to the premise, which is of course that Disney is all fucking gay now. Right? Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

They spend this entire movie making it sound like a great fucking time. Mercedes Schlapp looks like if not looking like your profile picture on a dating website, could be a TV house. Oh, was that my age? I put my daughter's age. profile picture on a dating website could be a TV house. It's... What? Oh, was that my age? I put my daughter's age, my mistake. He said... My finger fell off.

That part helped actually. Yeah. So yeah, but she starts so much. I like amputees, it's fine, go ahead. So yeah, but so she starts explaining how Disney is pushing elementary schools to discuss gender identity with children as young as kindergarten. But like, first of all, I don't think Disney is setting those policies, but also, like, we do discuss gender identity with kids in kindergarten.

That's how they know which room to pee in. Right? Like that's already a thing. But, and then she says, and she's so proud of this one, she says, and I quote, why didn't Disney just take a page from Frozen and let it go? Get it? Somebody wrote that. Yep. We're like nailed it nailed it yeah everybody enter everybody shut up what what you got I got a great one oh I got a great one you said it twice go I got a great one three now a lot of pressure built it is better be fucking great I know we're late to the party for Jesus super late at the Ramana. I brought ice.

Why don't they be like frozen at that? Okay, also Elsa is literally a gay icon. It's a gay metaphor. Yes, right. Yes, exactly. Of all the movies to bring up. They should be afraid of the army of five-year-old lesbians. That's fantastic. It's real and they should be afraid of the army of five-year-old lesbians. That's fantastic. It's real and they should be afraid.

Sparkle Donkey, the official tequila of armies of five-year-old lesbians. So... Where's that children of men reboot, huh? Idris Elba won't return my calls, that's why. That's not why. but won't return my calls. That's why. That's not. So then we also we hear briefly from a dissolution to ex Disney employee.

And I'm like, Oh, I wonder if there's any ex employees of the Catholic church that would have something to say, guys. Hey, is there any chance? Is there a chance this guy's running for Congress here in Florida and affiliated with the literal John Birch Society. Yes, Jose Castillo. Yeah. But he remembers when Disney tried it. First they didn't want to get involved with DeSantis' fascist takeover of the schools. He's like, I remember that. I'm like, I remember that too, mother fucker. As much as Disney would love for me not to. But then of course the Disney employees,

many Disney employees walked out over that decision, over Disney's decision not to respond to it. So there is a hero in this movie, if nothing else. Jeff, tell them thank you on my behalf for that. They're actually not allowed to speak to each other in case it begins a unionization Blink thank you to them So that's that's I can't remember who so we put it out on our Facebook post of like how the hell are you gonna hate a mega corporation wrong? Right there are so many right ways to hate Disney Jesus Christ you assholes But yeah, so so but then we get we hear Miranda Devine. She's also one of our talking heads.

She's a columnist for the New York Post. Maybe don't mention. If you want to know. Just say columnist. I work for the New York... to gather it's that good. Fun fact, I googled her to figure out who the hell she was and the word Hunter's Laptop, those words. They showed up, this is for reals, I checked that showed up 14 times on page one of her Google results. Hell yeah. So, but then Bill Donahue comes in right, he

starts defending the don't say gay bill, which is what most of this movie is gonna be out the first half of it or so. My favorite thing about the defense of the don't say gay bill is that they're not like it's not an evil horrible homophobic thing. They're like, it's not a big deal, you freaking out. Yes, right. It's like someone who just committed a crime on a date night, trying to get everyone to calm down and you're just trying to call 911 for the person they ran over. They're like, you guys are being weird. You're ruining my birthday. He's fine. He walked. Well, he crawled away. He crawled away. He's fine. It's just that don't say, hey Bill, it's fine.

Right, no, he's like, Bill Dunne, he's like, the Bill is innocuous, it's family friendly, and I'm like, oh boy, I hope for your sake that the Bill doesn't cause dictionaries and the Tsarists is to be banned from schools between then and now. It did, yeah, didn't age well. And the Bible, yeah.

Right, yeah, that too. It's not all bad. So yeah, but then Tony Perkins shows up very briefly and explains to us that instead of teaching their ABCs and how to tie their shoes, kids are now being taught how to fuck. And they always bring out this one sex education book that has like cartoons blowing each other or whatever.

Yeah. This is Sparkle Donkey in it. To be clear, it's not like a textbook for sex ed. It's a book that was available in some libraries, but it wasn't like a book that was being taught. Like one library had fucking asterisks blowing the others. Obelix. Obelix. And Sparkle Donkey.

And they're like, this was the law. Yes, yes. But what I love about it is that they show it, like we're supposed to be so scared of it. And then Tony Bergens goes, we didn't hear about this till we were teenagers. And I'm like, yeah, it turned out awesome, huh? Tony Bergens, yes.

Tony Bergens, the man who's fucking entire career is an obsession with Disney dicks. Yes, whatever they did with you. Yeah, let's keep doing that, bro. But then so, but Mercedes explains to us that during the COVID lockdowns, a lot of parents for the first time saw what their kids were learning at school because they were learning from home. And of course, it's all just wall to wall dicks apparently. So they were very offended. Also that's horrible parenting. For the first time, you learned about the curriculum,

and you were like, it's dicks? Well, right, and it was wall-to-wall dicks the whole time. Yeah. That's your fault. Yeah, exactly. Miranda Devine comes on, she says, little kids don't need to know about a thousand different genders. And I'm like, well, somebody should have explained to you

the part of the world at some point obviously so yeah And also this is the same people that want like kids to learn all the tribes of Malachi So oh and then of course we get another one of our talking heads for the film one of the Vic Remus Swami I love this dude. He looks like he always something about married himself with walrus cuffs. Like there is a sarcastic hairstylist in his life who's just like a little bit more Vivek. Yeah, no, use the whole other jar. That's great. What is this going to be on?

Oh yeah. No, you're going to be president. Yes. No, he's not. What is this gonna be on? Oh yeah, no, you're gonna be president. Yes. Mm-hmm. No, he's not. No. I already dropped out. Also not gonna be vice president, man, I'm sorry.

But yeah, but he explains that the reason that you see skyrocketing gender dysphoria is because kids are so impressionable and they're seeing all this gayness and transness on Disney and I'm like, are you sure it's not like the national effort to demonize them by people who are burning for fucking president and shit?

You don't think that has anything to do with it? Maybe. Cancer's up because of MRI scans. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah, right. All these power outages in Texas, fuck you, Thomas Edison. It is. It is though. Thomas Stark.

If it weren't for you and your post-modern light bulbs, we would never know the difference between what's going on in Texas and the rest of America is squinting it need a little bit more. So yeah, but then they the the horror Horowitz. What's this? The West that guy's name David Horowitz. Fuck David. Oh, David Horowitz literally betrayed socialism. So for those of you who don't know David Horowitz was like a cool liberal. And then Reagan came around and he was like, no, wait a second.

Yeah. Yeah. This guy is the new cool. He was like a hippie socialist Marxist leader of the leftist movement who was like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's hear that actor who did a movie with the monkey out. And Florida, I feel you pulling back from the voice that I'm doing right now, but that's how David Horowitz talked. Okay. Lean in, Florida.

I don't think they were pulling back. I felt it. But he explains that they're encouraging kids to be chemically castrated, but then eventually admits that he's talking about puberty blockers, which is not that. Which movie is that from Disney? Do people know about it? Which was the castration one? It's one of the symbols in, in Kanto. It's one of the...

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. That's right. It's what Maryshell ends up with, actually. She's like, there's a whoo! She just snips her fingers in front of you, your dick disappears. Make that a musical. When I Google it, that's what comes up. Well, what I love about this so much

is the guy who's talking about puberty blockers at some point, he says, like, he's like, you know, they're encouraging these children on puberty blockers to make these decisions that'll alter their lives forever. And I'm like, you're thinking of puberty, man. Puberty, yeah. That's the thing that alters your life forever. Unlike puberty, which we all know is a super chill time that causes no change at all.

So, and then this guy Brent Bozell, I don't even remember what the hell his Chiron said he was, he comes up and he says it's not just that Disney is anti-parent, he says that they're against the nuclear family. Sorry. Except. Sorry. I hate to correct you. Oh yes, yes please do. I believe he said Disney is anti the Nyanuk-Gongratler family. He goes... He tried to say nuclear five more times in the next eight seconds and it got worse than what I just said. He's so sure that if he says clu-clu in the middle, it's gonna come out.

That's the thing is he practiced before and he was like, remember, it's new clu-clu. It's new clu-clu clu-clu. It's new clu clue. It's new clue clue. Shit. But also, what a stupid premise. Disney's against the nuclear family. You know what we need is we need more three parent families.

That way we can sell more shit. So yeah. But that's the thing. Nowhere does this movie fail harder than the because, right? Because they constantly get to that, and then, and that's why, and then the Disney will use that to turn all the kids gay, and somebody will go, why do they want all the kids to be gay, and they'll be like, and another thing! Vaccine. Cut. Can we cut? Michelle Schlapp melted again. Can we get her in one of the ice chests or something?

We got 20 more minutes of shooting. They should have done freeze frames in their documentary and just been like, nobody's looking. Did we make a point yet? All right. Well, I'll tell you what, we needed a minute here to check and see if Disney has successfully made us gay yet. We've been here for a few days, so we're gonna take a quick break. That has to be done off the air,

but we'll be back in a minute with even more of Walt's Disenchanted Kingdom. Yeah! This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. And then I said, well, is that for all the tickets or each? And she said, each. Ouch. Hey podcast listener, as you can tell our very own Eli Bosnik is still recovering from paying the prices at a Walt Disney Park.

But whether you're reeling from the price of parking or just going through a difficult time in your life, talking it through can help. And that's why there's better help. Oh, and the Dole Whip. Guess how much they charge for the Dole Whip. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched up with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. You know what I wish had no additional charge? Is it Disney? Disney, yes.

Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash awful today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash awful. BetterHelp. It can't lower the prices at Disney, but it can help you cope with them. When the lady told me how much a sweatshirt cost, I just started weeping.

Yeah, I know man, I saw the footage on the news. Yeah. Alright, Timmy, you ready for Disney? Sure am. Hey everyone, welcome to Disney. Would you like Disney World or Disney Classic? Um, what's Disney Classic? Um, what's Disney Classic? Well, a lot of folks complained lately that Disney has gotten too woke, so we created

a separate park we're calling Disney Classic just for them. Oh, that's great. I gotta tell ya, I never care for all that LGBT stuff anyhow. Well, there you go, right to the entrance to the right there. There it is. Nice. I just can't I just wait till you see Space Mountain Timmy you're good. Oh sorry um Space Mountain is in the other park? Oh it is? Why? Well some of our Flat Earth and Biblical literalist guests over at Disney Classic don't like reminders of the heliocentric model so we thought it'd be best to keep it in Disney World.

Oh, alright, sure. Well, at least we could still go to Splash Mountain. That's a lot of fun. Unfortunately, Splash Mountain was a little too immodest for classic Disney. So what does Disney Classic have? Oh, let's see. We had to get rid of most of the rides and shows, you know, lots of black mermaids, so you can understand. Oh yeah, no, I was real mad about that.

Yeah, you were. So yeah, Classic Disney pretty much just has the Hall of Presidents, Song of the South, and the Jack Sparrow animatronic from the Pirates ride. The whole ride or... Nope, just the animatronic do not get too close got it I'm turning gay out of spite right now I'm doing it yeah yeah that's right you don't have to squeeze you know now it's working and we're back. Thank you, thank you. I wasn't sure if you could do another applause, so early on I thought maybe you need a refractory period,

but you guys are good. Some Chinese food and some power aid. Fuck yeah. Sparkledonky tequila. I think Sparkledonky would be very happy for us to say that is not what to do during your refractory period. I don't know. Hold on.

You don't think they want to be the official tequila of the refractory period. Interesting. Yeah, that's good. Right. Good. Sparkle donkey. You can come again. Yeah. There you go. Maybe that's the way to say yeah or don't. So we're gonna sparkle donkey make him come again. It's good shit. You can you guys gendered it so it's fun again. All right, so we were gonna rejoin the action. We're in like a support group or something for like ex DisneyDisney employees who were persecuted for their straightness or something.

This very much started off as the ugliest people who work at Disney Support Group. Okay, okay. I went to Disney, okay? And these people must work in like the nuclear reactor of Disney. Okay? Disney is a bunch of svelte, young, fresh fit,

and these people are like, I don't like that the Santa was doomed! It's like, what the fuck did you work as? A pretzel shaped as Mickey? Were you dole-whip? What the fuck? Half the people in this meeting, there's no way they worked in a theme park and someone wasn't like

There's no fucking shot You brought your child into Disney theme parks and didn't turn right around being like oh no something melted down. No you gotta go We got to go see that's what happens when you're mean to Ursula right there Steals your voice you hang out in her basement. Sparkle dunk. We hear it. Make him come again. Are you picturing the Mortal Kombat voice? I can't do it, but it is.

The get over here. Yeah. And come again. And come again. So we are from our buddy Jose again. He's like, you know, actually, you know, there's actually a lot of gay people who are on our side of it. So weird that you couldn't find a bunch of them to interview for your movie. But trust us, they are. They're there. We should also point out that the whole time they're talking, there's like this creepy version of London Bridge playing in a minor key in the background. This will

show back up several times with other public domain songs. But yeah, so they explained to us these employees, these ex-employees explained, the surveys show that Disney's employees didn't want to be all gay, right? But the company was making them be all gay. And I'm like, you know, well look, this is the state that elected Ron to fucking Santos, that's probably true, right? That doesn't... what does that tell you? But then Mercedes comes in to double down on this, right? She pulls up some Washington Post poll that said that Americans don't want all this gay stuff in their schools, right? Okay, but I couldn't pay attention to her poll or her numbers because they put the cartoon background,

green screen thing, and everything is way too big for a human body to be next to. She's standing next to a microphone that looks like a butt plug for a giant or something. It's very confusing. Well, I love the fucking poll that she's pointing to. She's like, well, you know, the American people don't want this in their schools.

I'm like, yeah, when were the American people ever wrong about who did and didn't belong in the schools, right? Like, what the fuck does that tell you? Certainly not in the fine state of Florida. Not in the state of Florida. Ruby who? But then we... That one of them Steven Universe gaze so

Two queers in the audience fucking loved that job like Like most of you are like I've heard of that but the gays are like It's okay, you got garnet's name wrong. We loved it. So then we my wife is one of the gaze. I'm just letting you know She's 50% hometown joke. Then we get a little um we get a ronda santa's clip right where where he is all mopey. Yeah, tell me about it. But this is that was okay. Can I just gonna have a fucking astronaut. We've made a lot of audiences boo in our time. That was from your hearts. They just heard it.

Whenever... When we go down south, we're always like, brand camp or whoever, and everyone's like, boo. You guys were like, boo, boo. Like, I feel like if we made... If we just let that rise, we'd get a news chiron tomorrow about podcast audience. Marches to Statehouse.

Yeah. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. It's a long fucking march, guys.

Sparkle Donkey Tequila, you're an open carry state. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Yeah. Sparkle Donkey Tequila, we can throw a wick in there, I'm sure. So then, so Miranda comes on and she's like, well you know that Disney, they came out against Ron DeSantis, don't say gay bail, but then he decided he would revoke their special tax privileges and were like, oh how'd that go from? And she's like moving on.

Okay. Reminder he's having trouble with that because the house of Windsor still exists. Yes, right, right. Exactly. That's the problem. They stuck in a closet. That's the problem. As soon as they can take care of that. So good. Disney needs to make a movie about DeSantis, right? They should just like lean into this and fuck with it.

Fuck, yeah. I feel like just like pushing boots or something. Come on. Just make the guy a fucking character. Thank you. That's fucking brilliant. Ronnie. That's amazing.

Two boots. So, and then they introduce they quick move on from that tax dispute between Disney and DeSantis they move on to a bitch about ESPN being all gay now which gay moes they're talking about how the ESPN commentators are Disney owned yes which is especially unfortunate when one of them is a woman of color yes yes like these Disney owned comment Yes. Which is especially unfortunate when one of them is a woman of color. Yes, yes. They're like, these Disney owned commentators

and it flashes to a woman of color like she just heard her self describe his own and she's like, what are those motherfuckers? Yes. Was that Miranda Schlapp again? What was that? I thought the first time I covered her in burning oil she learned her lesson.

Yeah. But apparently she just absorbed it and it's her outer layer now. I thought the first time I covered her in burning oil, she learned her lessons. But apparently she just absorbed it and it's her outer layer now. So now we get Tony Perkins complaining about how they're letting their political agenda interfere with the sanctity of sports. And I'm like, if I had the time, I bet I could dig up a clip of 1940s Tony Perkins saying that about Jackie Robinson too, right? Wouldn't be all that hard. Then we get Tucker.

Yeah. See, not as passionate. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, But I'm saying you weren't ready to do anything. If we had walked Ron out on stage, this is murder on the Orient Express. So good about you. The lawyers are going to cut all these shit. Love it while you're here. You have a boo for Tucker Tucker you have a plan for Ron Here's the thing my cousin has a gator farm right They'll just eat about any of that you're driving to your elementary school job where you're a librarian I could feed him in Yeah, one piece at a time every Thursday. That's when nobody's down there cause they're washing the cages.

What's that you wanted to book on microscopes? Yeah, let's fucking find one. What was I thinking about? Nothing. Christmas. So we get Tucker Carlson. Now, most of that's got to go, so we'll just, uh, we'll just get a nice clean in. We get Tucker Carlson. See what you get for coming to the live show? Hey, he's...

Textbook felonies. Tucker gets his, uh, a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit Hey, he's... Textbook felonies! Tucker gets his wimpy kitty baby winers moment here, right, where he's like ESPN, it's more like endless stupid political nagging. Nailed it. Got him. Okay, either somebody wrote that or he ad-libbed that. I don't know which is worse.

Right? Both really bad. Yes. And then. LGBTQ, more like little gay fuck. That's the real one. That's what is, damn it. I got it right again by accident.

We should write these ad. So we get Bill Donahue. I'm a Russian spy. There's also this great moment. I didn't realize that until late in the game. They said I had to give Dominion voting my car. Just like the keys. There's also this fun moment where Bill Donahue comes in and he's talking about how, like, you know, they're talking about how none of this belongs to sports.

He's like, you know, you don't bring the politics into sports. Once you're out of sports, that's okay. Right? Because he didn't want us to think he was anti-hershal walker or whatever. Tommy Tumorville and Hershal Walker, a cool cut. Right. Yeah. Yeah. See, you guys are forcing it. You're forcing it. It's a water-cool cut. Right. Yeah. Yeah. See, you're forcing it. You're forcing it.

You know you don't care about Tommy Tuberville. You don't think they murdered Tuberville? No. They don't even know. A third of them don't know who Tuberville is, but they're like, there were booze. Oh, they were booze. We got some Alabama. You don't know who Tommy Tuberville is.

A third of us doesn't know who Tommy Tuberville is. A third of us doesn't know who Tommy Tuberville is. Okay. That's what you do. He's the evil potato from the little engine they cook. That's pretty accurate, right? No, actually, he is. I think I can, and Tommy Tuberville's like, No, you fucking can't!

They caught him after the 1940s. There's... Well, we're gonna get to that, actually. They sail the train with his ears. It works out at the end. Yeah, it's cool. His ears are stupid. Very big ears. So yeah, so then we if you murder him get his ear and give it to me.

Big smother him with his ear. Just pull it over the yeah. I don't like that we're so good at this and I feel like we know you feel like it over the, yeah. I don't like there was a neckless, I feel like we, you feel like it's too many. And I think there was definitely like, there was a euphemistic quality that this, this is now lacking, that's bothering me quite a bit. I'll Tommy Tuberville. So okay, so we're going to check back in.

This is round to Santa's house. Okay, okay, okay. So... Why was the live show... So, Vivian Gromis, why? So, Vivian Gromis, he's very upset. Then in their efforts at inclusion, Disney has excluded all the bigots,

and we're like, yeah, yeah. Then we check back in with our ex-employees who want to let everybody know how threatened they felt by the company's gayness. Good. Fucking good. What? Yes.

They're all afraid that you're gonna be fired. Fucking great. Yeah. She goes... There's one lady, and she's just mid-hyperventilate. Like, I don't think she's ever ventilated. She's just... And she's like, you know, when I worked at Disney,

we never created anyone differently. And I genuinely don't know if she thinks that's a good or a bad thing. Right, like we must have psyched for the people in wheelchairs, Jesus. I just wanted to say there's one whenever they walked in the door. Wasn't even an option

Do you guys feel like you're in space? Or up a real tall mountain because I feel that way all the time How often do you think people ask that lady if she's okay? And she has to be like I'm fine. Why do you think people ask that lady if she's okay? She goes. And she has to be like, I'm fine. Why do you keep asking me that? She's also the one that gives us the all lives matter of diversity training. She's like, we had to take diversity training, which by the way, as I understand it, is not standard in Disney, so she must have done something.

So she said, right, yes. Yeah, so she had to take diversity training. And she's like, you know, they never even talk to you about being inclusive of white people. So. So. So. So.

So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So.

So. So. So. So. So. the diversity training. So when you're clapping on two and four, what you're going to do is... And we understand it's tricky because one is where it starts, so why wouldn't that be where the clapping starts? Kelsey, are you having an asthma attack? No, you're just like that. Okay. But yeah, but this is where Mercedes Schlapp tells us about the four keys that Disney

uses. Apparently they have this, like, you know, the four keys to their operation, which are, wait, I have them right here, safety, courtesy, show, and efficiency. I feel like you wrapped too much under show. Can I give you that note? Cause they were like, safety, and they were like, man, a lot of shit left. And they were like, courtesy. And they were like, okay.

And then they were like, well fuck. Elf. Yes. Do it faster. But then, so, but then like they had the four keys and that word's great for a long time but then along came the fifth key in 2021 which was bomb bomb. Right. Yes. The key is a literal yes. There is there is actually

it's inclusion. And of course yeah yeah right, we're supposed to go, those bastards. So, and of course they're like, but I, you know, they have the inclusion key, but I don't think they mean Christians and conservative peoples, and peoples. Yeah, and I'm like, I'm like, well, you're actually, you're thinking of bigots,

but yes, the overlap is very strong. How come we don't have any homeless shelters for people who have houses? Right. Exactly. That's exactly the argument of this entire section of the fucking movie. Yeah.

So, and the one kid's like, you know, and they're not very inclusive of Christians and conservatives or in my case, unvaccinated people. Fuck yeah. He works at fucking Disney! Yep. No, he doesn't. Well, no, he doesn't.

On his third day, Jeff spit into his open mouth, and he was like, all right, I'll go back to the reactor with my coworker. Bum, bum. with my co-worker. Poo-poo. These people only exclusively work as haunted mansion ghosts. That foolish mortals lady got too hot and too sexual, and they were like, let's bring Kyle in here. You want to talk about a kink experience?

You know what? We're not going to talk about it. Thank you. We had a meeting beforehand. How I feel about Haunted Mansion, and we decided... It's a private thought. But that leaves definitely topping your kids. That's all I'm saying.

And I want to be clear about one thing in this movie. They imply several times that several of these people were fired for refusing to get vaccinated and and as much as I was like Yeah, go Disney has been pointed out to me since in the state of Florida. It's not legal to fire someone for refusing to get vaccinated So that didn't fucking have wait the movie lot. Yes Well, so no no the movie never actually says that. They imply that. These people quit because they felt like it was too gay and didn't want anything to do with it.

The movie like leads you to believe they got fired for refusing to get vaccinated, but they never actually say that happened because it didn't fucking happen. First they came for the unfair. And I was like, woo! And Jeff did not speak out. He did, he was like, whoo! And Jeff did not speak out. Yes! He did, he was like, ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! They were, half of them were gone the next week. And then they tried out some of their best friends, right? This is where they get the gay ex-employee who also felt persecuted because he was Christian.

This dude rules. This dude. Did you feel better after watching this dude? No. Because sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm having a bad week and like I have depression. And then I remember how much this guy fucking hates himself.

Oh, Jesus. He wakes up and he's like, again, Jeffrey, you woke up again. I hate it! So he says, he explains that he's a born-again Christian, and they wanted him to get a vaccine. Because, you know, the man or whatever, he didn't want to get the vaccine because of his religious beliefs,

and he says he's not upset that they made him get the vaccine. He's upset because he had to expose his religious beliefs in order to get the exemption to the vaccination. No, you didn't. There's no microbiology in the fucking Bible that you had to explain. Yes, exactly. What is your fucking religion? I don't want a vaccine-ism. Okay. In Jeffrey's defense.

And I know this is bold Okay. In Jeffrey's defense. And I know this is bold. But in Jeffrey's defense, picture you're the person who Jeffrey came to and was like, hey, Michelle, can I talk to you for a second? I need you to know that I need a religious exemption for my vaccine. And Michelle was like,

what religion are you, Jeffrey? And he was like, I'm an evangelical Christian. And she was like, what? You? You had a Wizard of Oz themed birthday party. Four years in a row. It's a repeating event on my Google calendar. And he was like, yep.

And she's like, no. Fair. There's a great moment where he's like, you know, this isn't inclusion at all. It's exactly, and he thinks about it for a second, and he goes, not inclusion. Oh. Because sometimes on the spot, you've seen me do it several times tonight.

Sometimes when you're on the spot, you forget the word exclusion, you can't talk, you know. Sometimes that shit happens, I get it. I get it, it's tough when the mic's around, kid. Okay, but to be clear about this guy, his problem with Disney is about vaccination policy, yet they introduce him and they're like, he's gay, on our team he's gay. Yes. From no reach to improve their diversity, equity and inclusion score of their shitty

movie, which is about how you can't have DEI things. Yep. Yep. Assholes. So we talked to Jose a little bit more. He tells us that he gets, quote, a lot of letters from people that agree with him. Now, first of all, nobody gets a lot of fucking letters.

Right? This is now. And that's not a fucking thing technically many of them are restraining orders They're paper that come in the mail and I jerk off into it so He's like, you want to show us some of these physical letters that you get but I don't want to show them So you just have to trust me on this. But trust us, a lot of people agree with me. Something to hear about how, like, everybody says they write to them to tell them that, like, we may not be vocal, but we're the majority. I don't think that's not how that works at all. So then we check back in with Mercedes and her ominous backdrop so she can tell us about how Disney fucked up all their iconic stories with a bunch of gayness and black mermaids.

And this is my favorite backdrop by far of the entire movie because I shit you not, I am not making this up. She is standing in front of a white fence that is being painted black. They are black washing the fence is the accusation of this movie. Yup, yup, and an evil flock of crows fly by. And I was like, bad pick when you're defending old Disney was crows now.

They don't have any advice for Dumbo anymore. So, and this is where they, this is one of the major points they made, they actually talked about this earlier in the movie as well, but then they really drill into it right here. They start talking about how the Disney, I guess, has removed gendered greetings from their parks. They no longer say, you know, welcome boys and girls,

welcome ladies and gentlemen. And these people are so goddamn freaked out about that. How insecure in your gender are you that you need to be reminded all the time? Right, right. Imagine the only way that could bother you is if you were like, oh god, it's happening, it's happening. Hello boys and girls, that's right. I'm one of them. It's happening. Hello boys and girls. That's right. I'm one of them You heard the nice lady buckling you into space mountain, there's only two

I don't know why the evangelical Christian is comforting himself with Okay is That's a little weird. Bucky is. But naming people's gender when you meet them is fucking insane. It is. Like we're used to that for some reason, but that's crazy. Like hello, you're gender's male. Yes. You have a penis I assume, little boy. What the fuck are you doing?

We're all a dick sack! Who's drinking the night? Who's that? I'm not gonna tell you the truth. She has some good news that they stopped saying boys should girls stop and got something at the massive stadium. They should talk about how they now allow Disney to place down tattoos. Wait, wait, wait. You're not gonna tell me what you're doing.

You're not gonna tell me what you're doing. You're not gonna tell me what you're doing. You're not gonna tell me what you're doing. You're not gonna tell me what you're doing. the other messes are in the house. We should talk about how they now allow Disney to have tattoos. Right, right, right now, here you go, you're meant to recover. But it reminds me of what I did in the team park industry, girl in the bottom.

It reminds me of the security guard that I never ever did do all the little they can allow tattoos there. So they cover all those tattoos with bandages and shit, every fucking day. So you want to like, you should and shit, have a wake up a day. So you want to like, you should do this kind of a fucking burn work. Everything else like because otherwise

would be disturbing to these. Oh, that would be so really easy because sometimes you're like, oh it's just tattoos and approves. Okay, I was worried about that. I'm gonna go to work so soon. I thought maybe you were fucked with Dougie. He's just got a mouth song.

Walk your other part through and just let it go. I'm sure that all my stuff coming out of the knee on this morning is not only carnival but also a great cultural event. And in terms of his lawyers, he's both a good person. I know that everyone has got on their birthday. This is where we get Mercedes,Benz, they were so popular around this, this is where Mercedes says, you know, it looks like Walt Disney World is fast becoming Walt Disney World. That's just, he's getting worse.

That's just a dummy word. That's as much work as you did. So, and then Tommy Perkic showed up, he's also obsessed with that, and they took away That's just a dummy word. That's as much work as you did. And then Tommy Perkitt showed up, he's also obsessed with that and they took away boys' girls. And again, it's not like they added another category for non-binary people. They're not even including non-binary people, they just stopped excluding them. And that's too much for these axles. I thought for real and I don't think this is out of the question. I thought he thinks every guy has like a big X and a Y in their penis. And then like, sometimes it's the X, and sometimes the, and that's father-detergent.

Yeah, sure, sure. No, I was thinking of a guy like yelling female as he comes or whatever. Which is similar. Just saying it worked for me. I was yelling, boys, the entire time. I like the room that just put up with that joke that was just like, he needs to do those sometimes. That's okay. That is, okay, there will be other jokes for me. See, what time is it on the old cell phone Aruni?

So, y'all could work at the company. So we get Mercedes, she ominously introduces this leaked Disney corporate video which you may or may not be aware of where the one the gay writer talks about how wonderful it is to work for Disney because they don't discourage her from including gay storylines in shows and there and of course we hear that and and we're like oh well that's lovely and the movie's like huh? Are you outraged? Are you guys pissed yet?

Hey, Disney movie, I'm just saying, if you want some of that audio, what I said about Rhonda Sanchez, you can have it. And I meant it. We even have a plot for Puss in Boots. Yeah. So, so then we get this woman, I guess she's on like Fox business or whatever reacting to this video. Because when this video first leaked, the Christians really freaked out about it. Because the chick says in it, she's like, you know, Disney's been very cooperative of my secret gay agenda, wink, wink, and they're like, see, she has a secret gay agenda. Right?

And they freaked out about this for several days and they talked about it on Fox fucking News because what else are they going to talk about? And they brought out this woman who is a lesbian and she's going like, you know, this is the problem right here. Like we worked so hard to tell people we don't have a secret gay agenda and here she is telling us everybody our secret gay agenda. But she was laughing, literally laughing about it as she said sarcastically secret gay agenda. Although I'm cool if it's not secret and she's not being sarcastic. I bet you could get Tammy Bruce to run into a big hole in the wall if you painted it.

Oh, like a train tunnel? Sure. If you painted a big hole in the floor, she'd be like, watch out, it's a hole. So then this guy does another bullshit job title that I have, this movie reviewer named Christian Toto. He comes on to limit the fact that, you know, you can't monitor all the stuff that your kids are watching, which is why this is so dangerous. It's so easy.

So easy. You just have to like your kids even a little. You don't like your kids as much as you like a bad roommate. Me and my wife will get on stage and recite every episode of Bluey for you word for word right now. You want the little Einstein's theme song? I got it, it's my brain. So then Ben Carson shows up at this point and he gives his little speech about how, you know, according to these people, equality amounts to extra rights.

And I'm like, yeah, Ben, because nobody ever had to make a law forcing hotels to admit white guests, right? Again is the fucking point. Also, you just did a section about religious exemptions for vaccines. Right. And he's like, nobody should get extra rights. Fuck, did that just, just a second ago?

Now. There's the last scene? You'll cut this, right? I will say though, Ben shows us how you mispronounce a word, because unlike Mr. Nukuku, uh-oh, I messed up the word, Ben gloriously backflips over the word gregariously. Oh! Oh!

An artist at work, he's like, it's pretty greg-im-a-go-go, dip-gip, dip-gip, dip-gip, dip-gip, dip-gip, dip-gip, dip-gip, nikk-a-lode-ian. I'm awake again. So. I operated on people's brains three and a half years ago. Think about it.

So terrifying. I thought open people's skulls and everyone in the room was like, yup, we're just going to let him do it. And he was really good at it. No, he used to be. Now I feel like. Yeah. So yeah, so, but, but they explained that he explains

that Disney is gratuitously inserting gay characters and gay scenes into their movies and making kids confront all this sexuality. And I just, again, to bring us around to the reality of what we're talking about, look, if you are incapable of looking at a gay or trans person without thinking about them fucking, that's a you thing, right? You're not sexualizing children. Because their example is the fucking scene in Big Hero 6 where a trans person is in the tampon aisle, right?

Look at how sexual that is, buying tampons. They have to lie about the scene too, because they're like, they show a scene where a trans character is buying tampons. So either they lied or they think Baymax is trans. And I'm way more interested in that theory. So I'm picturing Baymax murdering Ron. running Ron. You felt it right? It's real. It's in your hearts. You're ready to do it. All right, well I think we all have something we'd like to picture for a second, so we need another quick minute for a break, but first let me give Act 3 the hard sell. Will Disney succeed in turning America's youth

into a bunch of polyamorous, transgendered, godless gays? Does that have a downside? What exactly do these nincompoops think Disney has to gain from that? Find out the answers to these questions and more. We'll return for these somehow more unhinged conclusion of Walt's Disenchanted Kingdom. And we're back with Ken Hinkelman of the University of Crawford's Women's Studies Department. Ken, thanks so much for agreeing to do an interview with me. Just a curious interviewer.

Oh, okay. You said that weird just now. No, I actually, no, I didn't. So why don't you tell us about your agenda, if you will? sorry. Do you mean like syllabus? If that's what you want to call it Right. Okay. So we start with some introductory texts just to sort of establish a baseline Right. Yeah. Yes. Okay. So if one of your students a child came to you and said, oh, I'm trans What would you do? I'd respect their decision. Aha! Do we get that? Do we get that?

Oh, we got that! Got what? Well, you just admitted you would turn a kid trans. Not when I said. Oh, okay. You said you'd respect their choice. Yes. Well, there it is again.

You are a goldbite. Hey, yeah, yeah, real quick, I'm going to stop you there. The thing you think is a gotcha isn't a gotcha for me. It's just what I think. The reason you think it's a gotcha is because when you say the things that you really think, you get in trouble for them because you're a bigot. I thought it was just... Thoughts.

Nope. Nope. It's your thoughts, man. Oh, yeah. That... Actually makes a lot more sense. Sure. Yeah. I'm a racist, too. Yep. That tracks.

And we're back! Yeah! Live from Orlando, Florida! Which has, if nothing else, spectacularly good weather. All right, so we're gonna rejoin the action this time with the moment that Tony Perkins still has not unclenched his asshole for after all these years. That would be the lesbian kiss in the 2022 Pixar film, Light Year, right?

So, and they start off with all these headlines where basically the admission is like, yeah, we gave them an absurd amount of free publicity on that movie actually, now that we look back at all these fucking headlines. Yeah, well, yeah, they explained that the movie tanked, which is, did it? No, they know. I think it made $26 million for $226 million box office. Yeah, yeah, that's what

I yep. Yeah. As a matter of fact, when they were looked for a headline about it bombing, they had to resort to the Washington examiner. So that's the same as the post, right? No, it's Washington. They're looking even more close to the post. They see. So, yeah, and then Bill Donahue shows up and he explains to us that he tolerates gay people, okay? I honestly, not gonna lie, didn't expect that. Well, it's also a fucking lie, but yeah. Yeah, so it's a fucking lie, but he's making this point that like it's one thing to tolerate somebody

It's another thing to you know promote what they're doing and I'm just like yeah It's like that time that Jesus implored it is followers to tolerate thy neighbor and all of that Remember that and then we hear from Carrie Burke who is I guess the president of Disney's entertainment and she, we hear her go and woke, right? She explains that two of her kids are LGBTQ and I think, I honestly think they introduced that so that we'll be like, yep, she's a bad mom. Yeah, clearly. Well because they believe in parental rights unless your kids are gay. Right. You got to do the opposite of the parental right. It's like the laws thing.

So she explains, they show a video for explaining that like, you know, they're finally bringing in some gay characters into their cartoons, but they don't have gay leads yet and they need to work on that. And I'm just like, Oh, how very admirable. Oh, I'm supposed to be scared of that. Aren't I? Well, I love because they try to put words in her mouth. They're like, and from now on, 50% of the characters will be gay, or just not white. Yes, right, right,

because what she said is underrepresented, right? 50% of the characters will be, and they say in the movie, Mercedes says, she said that 50%, that's half. Thanks, Mercedes. Know your audience, Mercedes. Yeah, New York Post audience. 50% that's half. Thanks. Got it. No, your audience. Yeah, New York Post audience. Yeah, she fucking wheels out a whiteboard.

Okay, so this is your child support check. Yes, we're gonna slice it right down the milk. I lost you. Okay. You know, too. No. But yeah, they mentioned them on, do they? No two. No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Sorry, yeah, I heard it. Yes, they do. Yep, withdrawn. They don't say that, but yes they do. Come on, it's obvious they're trying to put the moan in Moana if you know what I'm saying. All right, that was pretty good, that was pretty good.

So yeah, don't... You can have that one Bill to honor you. But what's so funny is... Bill to honor you, everybody. See, you wouldn't hurt him, you wouldn't hurt him, you'd boom and he'd go home fine. I need you people to get on mission. So yeah, so they'd parlay all of this into saying, but you know, which is evidence that

Disney is now teaching kids about sex. What they've talked about on the other side of that, therefore, was including black people in their movies. How is that, or trans people, how is that teaching someone about sex? What do they think sex is, you think? Yeah, right, right. Anything scary, yeah. Well said. Oh, and then they showed the clips of Little Demon, right? They say, and now Disney's promoting shows like Little Demon, which is not on Disney Plus or nor a show for kids. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Wait till you hear what the scamps are getting up to over on the Mandalorian. Yeah.

Disney's a big production corporation. They do other things besides kids stuff. It's like being mad at DuPont because they make like pacifiers with their plastic and giant dildos. So like- Are you saying that babies should suck on giant dicks? Right, right. The movie.

Don't answer, Bill. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh yeah, Bill's answer would be, well, also medium, also ones that are just a good size. They always smother before they get to mine. Yeah, I didn't like it. I didn't like it either.

I didn't like it. Nobody enjoyed that one. And now it's ours. So, Ben 10. You're welcome. Here's, so then Ben Carson pops into explain the neurobiology of watching devil cartoons. And he says, this is the only claim he's ever gonna make

about the brain at any point in the movie. He says, the brain remembers everything you've ever seen and everything you've ever heard. And you only use 10% of it, Ben. Shut the fuck up. He opens with, the brain is very complex. And I feel like that's how he opens surgeries now. As sort of a pre-apology.

The way Noah introduces me as the bad friend, so you know to try to take it with a grain of salt. Yes. He just slices up in some kid's skull. The brain is very complex. We know, Ben. We know. So, and then Bill Donahue shows up to explain how the entire all of civilization, not just

our civilization, all of civilization has had the Ten Commandments at its center for the last 2,000 years. That's his claim. Yeah, right. 10 Commandments at its center for the last 2,000 years. That's his claim. Yeah, right. And then we get Vivek Ramaswamy complaining, you know, like giving us this, how dare Disney bring social justice issues

into their movies, right? Which is basically him saying, why can't all entertainment be mindless? Yeah. It's supposed to be a sishit, skinner box for kids. You added thoughts. Right. Right. No look, I get why the makers of this film want more mindlessness in film, but come on bro, you can't demand it.

Did anyone else ever expect Vivek when he talks to be like, why won't it come off? Jesus Christ. No, no, no. She said it would come off? They said, Jesus Christ. No, no, no. Oh, no. She said it would come off if I said enough things. It would just, and then I could. I don't feel delight some at all. And then I could be one.

So then Mercedes Slav shows back up. You're not talking about the walrus come. You're talking about. It's not the walrus. I would have preferred you were talking about the walrus come. He's proud of the walrus. Okay. He loves the walrus. That's true. That's true. There's no politics to walrus come. Not device. I don't want to explore that.

No, I don't want to explore that. So we're gonna give you that one. Sparkle donkey. There's no politics to walrus come. So the thing is, is if I say, So the thing is, is if I say, Sparkledonky tequila now with no walrus come, that is a true statement, right? I don't think they want to argue with me on that. They must have weird meetings after our live show. They're not like a wacky liquid death,

like we're edgy brand. They're just nice people in Seattle who were like, yeah, let's let the psychos say whatever they want about our drink. Right, right. Sharon said the line went up and to the right, so I don't fucking know. This. Don't we have a couple of Sparkle Donkey people here right now?

Do we have Sparkle Donkey people? I would not volunteer. Somebody's hand went up and their hand got slapped. I'm gonna be like, Chris, if you stand up, I'm gonna slice you down. I'm gonna cut you down. Like Dolly Parton on a bender. Do you hear me, Chris? Chris, I'm gonna cut you down. I'm gonna cut you down. I'm gonna cut you down.

I'm gonna cut you down. I'm gonna cut you down. I'm gonna cut you down. I'm gonna cut you down. I'm gonna cut you down. I'm gonna cut you down. I'm gonna cut you down. I'm gonna cut you down. I'm gonna slice you down. I'm gonna cut you down.

Like Dolly Parton on a bender, do you hear me, Chris? We work in health insurance. Yes. So Mercedes shows back up. She's now surrounded by ominous money bags. And this whole next part is fucking hilarious because they're trying to simultaneously make these two arguments. Argument one, go out, go broke.

Argument two, they're doing this for the money. Right? So her point at first is she's standing in front of all these money bags, but her initial point is that Disney isn't money grubbing enough. Some disagreement in the crowd on that one. We're not going to say which audience member left way too hard in that world. But if we did, he wouldn't be able to say no to us.

You know what I'm saying? So, and then of course they explain that Disney also doesn't deny climate change, so that's political right there. They recognize the existence of the climate. And then they say that the CEO of BlackRock is too liberal. They do. They do. They do. Short of accusing Satan, the Prince of Darkness himself, of being too nice. I don't know if it's short. No. I cannot know of a sillier

statement. Yeah. The Black Rock guy's real. Yeah. Right. Right. So, so here's the thing. They start shitting on the whole idea of the ESG movement, which is the Environmental, Social, and Governance movement.G movement, which is the environmental, social, and governance movement. This isn't a good... This isn't like a bunch of bazillionaires going like, you know, we should be much more conscious of our impact on the environment. This is a bunch of bazillionaires going like, if we keep ignoring this, it's going to cost us money.

Right? That's entirely what this is, is that, hey, maybe we should rethink this because eventually it's going to cost a lot of fucking money to ignore it. And that's what they're saying is the evil fucking thing. The fact that capitalism itself now has to admit that environmentalism is the goal. And that's, by the way, the quote that they take from the Black Rock guy, right?

Yeah. He's like drowning in a kitten, he's like, yeah, they just keep asking us. I got away. Aren't you glad I ended the pantomime with the getting getting away? Yeah, he knows you know what happens with Lucinda when you don't. Exactly. She goes full Dolly Parton on a Wednesday. Yeah, right. Exactly. Exactly. Who do you think she learned from? So. That's what they did at Dolly World, they don't say.

Every Monday Lucinda and Dolly would throw a balasong into the center of the room between them and then whoever walked out was Dolly Parton that week. It's. It's. So yeah, but ultimately what they did is they got that bullshit, you know, every corporation has their bullshit. Like we really care about the environment and everything we do we try to think of the environment

They got that video and they're like look at this fucking liberal asshole And and Schlapp finishes this section by going it's the old adage Go woke go broke and I wrote in my notes. Ah, yes that old chestnut. I believe it first appeared in the farmers Oh, man Franklin many moons ago. By the way, she also fucks it up. She says get woke, go broke, right? She fucks up his own stupid adage. Sorry, one of the, I have to mention this.

Yes. What they're claiming is that BlackRock and Vanguard, which are two of the biggest asset managers, they're the biggest owners of Disney stock. Yes, right. They're also literally, I checked just to be sure, they're the biggest owners of Fox Corporation. Disney owns the Fox Corporation.

Right. Also, Disney stock went down in 2022, and they made a big deal out of that. Every major index went down. Yes. What happened? What was going on in 2022? Does anyone remember anything around 2022 that might have negatively affected the stark

world? They're saying they're doing all this bullshit liberal ESG crap, but actually they're losing a bunch of money. And they show this headline that says Disney shares hits their lowest level in two years, and I'm like, that's not very long though. Two years, come on you asshole. Everybody's stocked it. Yeah, right.

And hey, you know what? Disney stock is doing shit right now because they're investing too much in Disney Plus. It has nothing to do with being too gay. Maybe they should make it so gay or... Lean in. There you go. Clearly, clearly that's what the people want us right there. Disney LGBTQ plus.

There you go. There you go. Squeeze it right in the side there. And it's just nothing but porn. Elsa fucking, but they don't warn you. Ha ha. So okay. So then we get this,

Mercedes shares this a quote from Walt Disney where he basically said, freedom is good and tyranny is bad. Every time someone tries to make a Walt Disney quote seem like magical or wise, it's the saddest sentence. Bumbled in an old angel. The man never said anything even remotely close to interesting.

He's like, there's a park and you can drive around it and a little car in my mouth. And they're like, holy fucking shit. Is Christ reborn among us? This imagination factory just spewed wisdom all over my face and chest. Oh my God! We gotta get a spot at the Ramada for this guy. So, but now it's time to talk about how fucking communist Disney is Disney as they point out is cozying up to the Chinese government and when they say the words Chinese government

There is a music cue. Oh my god. I want you to really internalize this that I will not do an imitation of yes That's good. That's what you do a bit that includes the imitation of the music. Me! It's Song of the South China, for sure. We won't sing it, but that's what you heard. Yes. So yeah, so basically look, it is absolutely disgusting the extent to which entertainment companies are cozying up to China and making concessions to their fascist fucking government. Yes, that's disgusting. Disney is doing that. That's fucking disgusting.

It's really easy to be pissed off about that correctly. They do not manage to do it, right? Because they're like, well, in China, they make them take out all that gay stuff. Why can't we get that good oppression like China has? They done got rid of that black stormtrooper, I tried to do that at my local amic and they done arrested me for vandalism because I came too much. How's that even?

Where is that even? what is a Uighur right. Hey, if you don't watch these movies watch this movie just to watch Tony Perkins with a straight face try to say Uighur yeah. Oh yeah Uighurs the Uighurs. Wait, no, they actually called their death camp. Ow, she wins. Come on. That's not real. You're pulling a prank on old Tony. So, so yeah, they make their arguments about how like, you know, Dan, we can't, well, how come we can't be more repressive just like those, those Chinese. And then they talk about how Disney, I guess, the Mulan advertising, they, they thanked the region of China that is committing the,

the Uyghur genocide or where China is committing the Uyghur genocide. And that's horrible that they did that, you know. But of course, as much as Disney could do by drawing attention to this, I feel like maybe the Catholic church could do more, right? And to my knowledge, the Pope has talked about the Uyghur genocide exactly once in listing them amongst a long list of oppressed people in the world, and then backed off of that. So like, you know, fucking plank in your eye and all that Jesus shit. Yeah! But, and then, oh, speaking of which,

this is the part where Vivek Ramaswamy comes on to talk about how immoral it is. Ha ha ha ha ha, he's the one you like to say. Fuck man. Ha ha ha ha. Vivekramaswamy is literally a billionaire because he owns a big farm, he founded a farm company that did so much goddamn business in China. Yes! They have multiple subsidiaries located in China.

He's full of shit. Right, and he's on this fucking documentary saying, can you believe that? Cosian up to China? And then they start talking about how they talk about the Disney poster that reduced the size. And I don't know if you guys remember this, the Chinese poster for the force awakened reduced the sign of it was in him, John Boyega. Oh, yeah, they did a Mercator project.

That's a valid gripe, I would say. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely, but then of course, because they brought up racism, now we have to hear from Ben Carson again, right? They cut back over to Ben Carson. Which side of racism am I on? Yes.

They cut to Ben Carson like they didn't tell him they were going to cut to Ben Carson. He might as well be eating his lunch like, you said I was done. No, no, no, you said first say the word, then peanut butter sandwich. We didn't think you would eat it on the set in front of the camera.

I won't be in birthday with him. The brain is a very complicated thing. It has many buttons and two levers. I don't like jelly, it reminds me of sin. So yeah, but they summarize this section by pointing out that Disney talks about gay rights in their cartoons, but not the Uyghur genocide, so they don't really care about human rights. Also, they care about the black community. Anyway, the little mermaid was fucking Caucasian.

Yeah. Yes. Human fish. Hybrid Caucasian. Yeah. Yes. Human fish. Hybrid Caucasian. So. Come on. And then, so, and then fucking Mercedes-Slapp comes on to lament

the lost cause of the song of the South or whatever. This is where they start complaining about the fact that Disney is pulling some of their old, incredibly racist material and putting trigger warnings in front of some of the other stuff. So, not even pulling it? Yeah. Right, right. Most of it's not even being pulled.

Yeah. Here's the thing. Let me give a little advice to the racists out there. I wish you wouldn't. If you want to make an argument that your racism isn't rapist... Racist? What? That's sorry. I got a pop right himself is going to show up on that one.

Yeah. If you want to make an argument that your racism isn't racist, don't play the clip because this guy is like the aristocrats. It's a cat. And then the cat is like Because I will tell you if they had been like hey Eli how bad is the aristocrats one to ten I would have been like not aristocrats aristocrats. Yep. Yes Aristocrats one to ten. I would have been like, I don't know pretty bad. I don't remember now. I remember yes, right? Well, and again keeping in mind that to the extent that they're pulling anything or anything

They're it's not like they're buying up every old copy and having it destroyed, they're just failing to include it on this new thing Disney Plus that they're doing, right? That's what they're complaining about. And again, like Heath points out, most of it they're not even pulling, they're just saying, like, hey, this contains offensive stereotypes that most people probably don't want.

Just, for example, just one. The Muppet Show literally had Johnny Cash singing in front of a Confederate flag. Yeah. They didn't pull it, they were just like, if you don't like that, we're still doing it. There's a Confederate flag. And people were like,

blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub. Warning? Right, no, they say that they're gonna put up a warning before the Muppets and I were like, blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub bl Sort of the primordial Muppet, the Muppet from whence all Muppets evolved. You know, like, you look into the eyes of a shark and you realize that's God's rough draft. That's how Bill Donahue is with the Muppet. Oh, that explains a lot. He's just sitting there, like, his partner died, so now he just has to sit in the back of the theater, yelling at himself and shit. It was terrible!

So... Oh, just me. I think they should kill one of Walder for Sattler. That would fucking rule. Think about it, they could get us. They could get us so good. Remember when Jim Henson died and they told us with the Muppets and we were nine

and we never got over it? Just me? Okay. I was older. Three weirdos in this room were like, I was older. Three weirdos in this room are like I was there. It was the Oscars and I was trying to have a childhood. So, so yeah, but now I want I also want to point out so Bill comes in here I'll piss off about the Muppets warnings there's and shit talking about like well you know I don't get offended by these stereotypes it's like well they're

not of you you asshole. Bill Donahue is the most thin-skinned human being alive, right? His entire fucking job is getting pissed at random shit and calling it Catholic persecution. That's all he fucking does. And he's going to walk out here and pretend he's not offended by stereotypes. To be clear, the major contribution of Bill Donahue's career is trying to stop the investigation into child rape that his organization is doing. He gets offended when people talk about him fucking kids. Yes. They don't have to bring it up. And then so and then Ben Carson comes on, he wants to double down on this point He starts talking about how um, you know, well if you go out there looking for racism sure you'll find it I'm like yeah Ben because we're really really racist

Right not because it's illusory He's like you know well if you put everything under a microscope I'm like I bet I could find the fucking racism in Dumbo without a microscope. And then they play a clip from Lady in the Tramp of the fucking the Siamese cats. They're like, what's racist about this? And we're like, everything is racist about that. It's somehow racist towards cats. Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha ha. So, okay. Oh, then they try to tag in Tim Burton, who Eli is unfairly maligned in this episode. Look, look. A lot of people say that Tim Burton is racist, but maybe he just believes that people of color never die with unfinished business, and that's why he doesn't put them in his movie.

Yeah, okay. So, to be clear, Tim... He's too progressive. die with unfinished business and that's why he doesn't put them in his movie. Yeah, okay. So to be clear, Tim... He's too progressive. So want to be clear, they gotta clear this little part of the movie out because they're like, you know, even Tim Burton who's made all these movies with Disney and made all of this money for him and says he'll never work with Disney again.

And they imply that it's because all the gay shit has nothing to do with any of that fucking shit. He came out and he made a big statement about how I probably won't work for Disney again because it's homogenizing art and I don't want to make a fucking Marvel movie where I have to make it fit into 37 other movies, right? He feels like it stifles creativity. That's what he was fucking talking about, has absolutely nothing to do with anything that they're talking about. But yeah, he probably should have some inclusion in his fucking movies. Also like, really, Tim, they're not letting you stretch your wings and fly. Well, that's yeah, it's been a little while since he made a hit fucking movie too.

That might have something to do with it. One time I made a cat woman who I wanted to spank me and that's pretty much as far as I've gone. I think a lot of us wanted cat woman to spank me and that's pretty much as far as I've gone. I think a lot of us wanted Catwoman to spank. Yeah, yeah. You know. So, and then Mercedes comes on at this point. She's like, you know, who else agrees with us? The blogosphere.

The blogosphere. And not just any blogosphere. The quarter ring. Yes. The quarter ring shows up. Okay. The quarter ring is a right-wing YouTuber who we've had a little bit of contact with. But my favorite fun fact about the quarter ring

is that 24 hours apart, he tweeted, nobody cares if your grandma dies during COVID, and then his grandma died of COVID. Yes. Yes. Guys, that's really fucking funny. and then his grandma died of COVID. Yes. Yes. Oh, my God. Guys, that's really fucking funny. Oh, my God.

Like, I know you can't think how funny that is right now, but you're gonna be driving home and you're gonna pause your murder plan for Ron DeSantis, and you're gonna be like... Yo, but that's some damage. That's super fucking funny. Oh, my God. So... You're gonna be like... Yo, but that's some stammage! That's super fucking funny. So...

Do you think he ever has the moment where he's like, ah, that's pretty funny? They got this. I got me. I got me. Also, I bet his grandma did a hard breath out just to keep it going. Like, she read his tweets and she was like, I'll show you you you little asshole. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

I did this to turn gay as a girl. I can do it to die now. Yes. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. See how we get the quartering. I don't know who that's other fucking random YouTubers. They show us a couple of YouTubers because they're like, the kids, they like the YouTubers, right? So they show us this one chick who the fuck knows who she is. She's like, you know, the Disney's gay agenda got exposed.

They're about to lose the Mickey Mouse trademark. I'm like, do you think those things are related? It's like the trademark office said you guys are too gay to be trusted with this trademark anymore. Exactly. Steamboat Willie signing a contract with Fox News. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So...

Steering his ship into the side of the Dominion building? Yes. She says... On 9-11. Oh, Jesus Christ. So, I love when Eli has these. Oh, I haven't forced them to be, but yeah, hold on kind of moments.

So, and then the YouTuber girl, she comes on, she adds too, she's like, all of the sexual predator employees at Disney are being exposed. I'm surprised we didn't flash back to the disclaimer at the beginning, right? For just a second, this is just her. We're on base.

So then, OK, so then Mercedes shows up. She's going to wrap things up for us. She explains to us that Disney's approval rating is plummeting. OK, no need to make a movie about it. Right, but again, her idea is that Disney is less popular because it's too popular. Yes, yes, exactly.

It keeps giving into its audience and so it keeps getting less popular. So she bids us to do, and then we get this closing title card and they love it so God damn much. Cause's this whole big, like, we asked several times for the CEO of Disney to sit down with us for this movie. And they wouldn't even double, like, you're no one! You're the, you, this, okay, we watched this on their YouTube channel, on the Catholic League's YouTube channel. They have one eighth this many YouTube subscribers as we do. We're in the audio medium!

We don't even do video. You know, I also... We put it up like a terrorist manifesto. Yes. For the newspaper to find. Yes. You know what? We also asked Disney's CEO to come and be on our fucking show tonight. He ignored us too, Catholic League. Ladies and gentlemen, Bob Eiger. I wouldn't know how you guys felt about Bob Eiger.

I was, I was wondering if we were going to get the boo. We didn't get the murder boo, which was great. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff is holding perfectly still. He refuses. He stopped breathing. Someone help him. He's shifting his molecules in and out of existence until I stopped talking about Pope Iker. Do they teach you that?

It's what they can do instead of saying no. Here's how to turn invisible. All right. So obviously shit's going pretty bad for Disney, right? They're having a rough go of it. So I have a final question to close things off tonight. If Disney wants to play Kate, Bill Donahue, and all the various bigots that made this movie,

what ride must they add to Disney World? Ooh. Uh, Song of the South. Shit! Uh... Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Um... Okay, uh, Peter Pan and the Lost Proud Boys.

Oh, nice! Nice! Well done! Well done. Peter Pan and the Lost Proud Boys. Oh, nice. Nice. Well done. Well done. I had, um... I had Hall of Stolen Presidencies. Right? What? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, We're gonna wrap things up for the night once again a huge thanks to everyone at the Orlando Shakespeare for all their awesome work and a huge thanks to all you for coming out tonight

And on that note Yeah, this guy. Oh my goodness. It's a standing ovulation. Thank you so much. And on that note. Let's not go to Ron Tess! Let's not go to Ron Tess! Let's all go to Ron's house! CHEERING You all felt it. We could have done it.

LAUGHTER We could. We just want to eat fast food and watch our TV shows. She's so... LAUGHTER We all came here in cars, not too late. I saw so many people being like, Oh no, no, we're not doing murder.

Obviously. What? And on that outtake, we'll leave you with the Breakfast Club clothes. clothes. Ronda Santis went on to ban the periodic table of elements for sexualizing kids with menstruation talk. Because it's periodic, okay. It's good shit. Because period. Right. Mickey Mouse went on to do more gay stuff.

Oh, boys! Sparkle Donkey Tequila had yet another incredibly tense meeting about why they keep sending us free shit. Ha ha ha! I'm going to be a little bit more honest with you. I'm going to be a little bit more honest with you. I'm going to be a little bit more honest with you. I'm going to be a little bit more honest with you. I'm going to be a little bit more honest with you. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, but this is interstitial.

It starts with you. Hey, Bill, what's up? Oh, oh, you know, I labeled that's why you told me you let me do them. I was like, I am awaiting at the top of the thing. The puzzle comes together. Clever no illusions. Clever. You almost tricked me.

Right. You almost tricked you. You did. To trick you. I almost untricked you as what happened. Look behind you. It's not me. All right. Interstitial one. And now you are in on our secret that we don't actually go anywhere when we leave for the breaks. Heath sometimes eats a caramel.

Yeah. I do. I duck under my own desk. Back up. anywhere when we leave for the breaks. He sometimes eats a caramel. Yeah. I do. I duck under my own desk, back up, not ready. Yeah, right, right. I usually poop. So, and we would come back, we'll dive into all the shameless,

disdainful, Morgan, where are you, Morgan? He's not here to help me, he's in Canada, damn it. We were like, hey, Morgan you want to come to Florida? And he's like, fuck you. I'm Canadian. I don't need to do that shit. He didn't escape that chocolate factory

to come down to Disney. To be re-enslaved. Okay, that's the real reason he didn't show up. Prove me wrong, coward. I'm sorry for the next nine episodes where my audio is like, yeah, right, right. Yeah, exactly.