God Awful Movies - 505: Fury to Freedom

Episode Date: May 6, 2025

This week, Kara Griffin from Recovering From Religion's RFRX Podcast joins us to review the 1985 biopic about a terrible, abusive man who, through the power of Christ, turned into a terrible, abusive pastor. --- This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/awful and get on your way to being your best self. --- Hear more from Kara on Recovering From Religion's podcast, RFRX: https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/rfrx --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/ Report instances of harassment or abuse connected to this show to the Creator Accountability Network here: https://creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org/

I could not stop laughing when he says the food is really bad or whatever he says and she's like what do you think I am a magician? What does that have to do with it? Did you mean chef? Eli's a magician he's a fucking vegan. Where are your mashed potatoes? Check your wallet. Okay, I don't know how you did that, but now,

mashed potatoes in my wallet. God awful movie. Movie. Movie. Movie. Movie. Movie. Movie. Movie. Movie. Movie! Movie! Movie!

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Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! Movie! my good friend Heath and right Heath welcome back. Yeah karate. All fired up this week. This is why Eli couldn't be here. We couldn't have we can't have both of you all hyped up on karate on the same week. So Eli is off this week to keep a fight from breaking out but we are excited to welcome

in a brand new guest masochist. Kara Griffin is the director of online programming for recovering from religion and the host of the RFRX podcast every Monday evening at 7 p.m. Central. Carol, welcome to God awful movies. Thank you. Glad to be here and I believe it's kung fu y'all get it right. This is serious Yes. Oh, no, I'm sorry karate apologies all around. Oh my god all our martial arts people that was embarrassing for me No, no, no, it's kung fu. Let's yes. Yes. I'm sorry I am I am I am currently cutting my guts out with a small sword for the infraction. Yeah, this is important to get right, y'all. This is a serious film.

Yes. So tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched Fury to Freedom. It's the story of the greatest Kung Fu master of all time, Jesus Christ of Maserati. It's a Eucharist control of the movie. It's pretty great. Well done, sir. And Kara, how bad was this movie? Well, I've seen worse, but not on purpose. Yeah, that's what makes it

so painful, right? Because you know what you're getting into but you get into it anyway. Yeah, I didn't quite know what I was getting into but I didn't regret it. Yeah, well that's true. This is a fun bad. So speaking of which, is there anything you want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Oh, absolutely. This has the best worst kung fu leg swing and it happens multiple times. It's not a kick, mind you. It's a swing. You just wave your leg in the air, preferably over another person who is already falling to the ground. And this somehow adds to your kung fu prowess. That's based on my knowledge of martial arts that is how it works. If you put your leg above something, you win the leg moment or something.

Yeah, if you remember joust from the early 80s, maybe this is just me, highest, highest ostrich wins. It's like that. Oh, yeah. Y'all must have taken Taekwondo or something. Oh, Eliza Blackbelt. We could use that. Oh, it's such a shame that he is not here to show that up. So, okay, so I'm going to go with best worst barbaric yawp. All right.

So this movie is called Fury to Freedom. And so the hero of this movie is going to, this is his redemption story in heavy air quotes there, his redemption story in heavy air quotes there is redemption story. But he has to start off at theory and only get to Christianity slowly. So a couple of times he yells to indicate that theory and they are my ring tone. It's one yell. If the right if just if it's an unknown number, a different one, if it's somebody I know, it's the best.

It's like they got a Wilhelm scream on Tmoo because they couldn't afford the real Wilhelm scream. And now there's like a big tariff on it. Yeah, right. You can see the price. Paying a fortune for it right now. It's the minimalist shit. It was rough.

All right. I was going to go with best best Huffy exit. Yes. So it happens early and our main character gets mad at his dad and he's like, GAH! And he walks out and then he pauses for a second and he's like, kick a chair. And then he runs out. It's the best. Well, and it's obviously the actor set up because he's kicking it kind of towards this four year old kid, right? So he's like, obviously like angling it so that it doesn't hit the

kid. But what it doesn't hit the kid. But what it plays as in the movie is just him going, you know what? I'm not ready to walk away yet. I know Kung Fu. All right, well, I'll tell you what, this movie needs a minute to thaw out. So we're going to take a quick break. But when we come back, we'll dive into all the irredeemable redemption that is... Fury to Freedom! This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Hey Noah, while we have a break, would you mind signing this Get Well Soon card for Eli? Oh, of course man. Is he sick? Well, you know how he's off this week because he ate so many spiders that his nipples fell off and now he has to convince a witch to reattach him with magic. What? I thought he was off because he was taking care of his special needs child while Anna was out of town.

No, no, it's the thing I said. Do you know what he says when I'm off every single time? Well, yeah, I can't say it during an ad. Exactly. Exactly. So I say he's getting his nipples reattached by a witch because he ate too many spiders. That's happening Wow, Heath, it sounds like you're really motivating yourself with revenge instead of positivity and what just seems like a self-destructive behavior

Have you considered talking about that with a therapist? What no? Well when people hesitate to get help, it doesn't just affect them. it impacts families, workplaces, and entire communities. Yeah, but like, but, but spider nipples. Well, I agree that those are funny words to put together, but therapy is great for helping to learn positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself, and if you're thinking of starting therapy, you should consider BetterHelp.

They have over 10 years of experience matching people with the right therapists from their diverse network of over 30,000 licensed therapists with a wide range of specialties. That sounds great, but I don't think I can afford it. Well, because BetterHelp is entirely online, they can make it more affordable and more convenient, and you can easily switch therapists at any time with no extra cost. All right, Noah. I'm sold. How do I sign up? We're all better with help. So visit betterhelp.com slash awful today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H e l p dot com slash awful. All right.

Thanks, Noah. Now, I'm sorry. Were you saying that he ate spider nipples? I guess I did imply that. Yeah. Because spiders don't have nipples. I got carried away. I got carried away.

They don't? All right, everyone. Welcome to the first Writers Room meeting for Fury to Freedom. This is the story of real life kung fu badass turned preacher to troubled youth, Raul Reese. So Raul's here actually with us today and he's going to answer some questions that you might have about his story. Sup? Great. So, Raul?

Is Raul? Oh, exactly what I just said. So, Raul, can you tell us how you became a Christian? Sure, sure, sure. So, one day when I was in high school, I was coming out of my Kung Fu class. I took Kung Fu. Like, five guys, they jumped me right after the class. So, I was in high school. I was coming out of my Kung Fu class to Kung Fu. Like, five guys, they jumped me right after the class. So I was like, and I kicked all their asses so hard. My buddy was there and he was like, Ra, help me. So I kicked a little more ass to help him out. And then I got this one guy in a thumb lock and he was like, Oh, please don't hurt me anymore. And I was like, no, I'm sorry. Are you sure this is the story of how you found Jesus?

Yeah. Yeah. Because then I met the love of my life, Sharon, and she invited me to church. Oh, so going to church with Sharon is what turned it around for you. No, no, I told her no about going to church. Oh, but she kept begging. So eventually I said yes. Oh, and then you found Jesus.

Nah, nah. I fell asleep at church. Church is like mad boring. Okay. So what happened to Sharon? Oh, I knocked her up. So we had to get married. Oh, so when you realized you were going to be responsible for another human life.

I got really pissed at that point and eventually I punched her and threatened to kill her. Oh my god. But one of the times I threatened to kill her. One of the times? Yeah, one of the times I realized I was using the exact words my father used when he would hit my mom. And I realized like, like what I'd become. Okay.

So then you turned your life over to Christ. Please. No, no, no, no, no, no. I went out and hooked up with my side piece. Tiffany, Tiffany with an I at the end, her gonorrhea was in remission more or less doesn't really matter. So I rented us 17 minutes at the Brown Sheet Motel. Pretty sweet. But when I called Sharon to check in right before that date with Tiffany, she was nowhere to be found. Sharon didn't pick up.

So then upon realizing you were on the verge of losing your family. Yeah. I went home and I got a shotgun to murder Sharon and my children. For fuck's sake. But then, but then let me finish. Let me finish. So just as I was envisioning the beautiful pink mist I was going to turn my family into, the guy on TV said Jesus died for my sins. And I was like, no way, my sins?

So yeah, I became a Christian. So inspiring. Is it? He's violent enough for me to say so. Yes. Good point. Hey, hey, hey. So you're going to put in the movie, like how many hot ladies are always throwing themselves

at me, right? That's going to be the movie. Whatever you say, man. Nice. I can kick really high too. Oh good. You think he'll play Iron Man? I think they're gonna try. You guys! You guys!

Hey! Eli, what are you doing here? Yeah, I thought you were off this week. I am, but I wanted to make sure you told everybody about Matrion. Oh, that's right! The time of year where we beg everybody for money extra hard! Yeah, but it's not just that. We also have all sorts of goals for new and upgrading members. We do? What are we having to do to ourselves this year? Well, actually, this year we're doing nice stuff.

Wait, our goals are nice things? Yeah, a bunch of people who increased and started their pledges last year said they didn't want punishments for Matri on anymore. So aside from stuff like a song and a magic trick and flair juggling at our patron only pajama party. As usual. As usual. We'll also be doing a Heath Enright secular tackler here on Gammon.

We'll even send Noah and Lucinda on a cruise in Alaska. Oh, well that sounds pretty great. Right? So many 80s movies. Well, I meant the cruise. Oh, yeah, that too. Anyways, people can pledge or increase their pledge to any of our shows on Patreon, and they can go to matriot.com

to follow along with any of our goals and prizes. All right, Eli, thanks. Hey, aren't you watching Mac solo this week? Yeah, yeah solo daddy week. You heading back? Give me a second. Okay sure. So Heath what movies? Go watch your toddler. I'm going, I'm going. And we're back for the breakdown and we're gonna open up on a red sports car just hauling ass through a town in the middle of the night. Yeah.

It's a pretty sweet sports car. Gorgeous. It's absolutely gorgeous. It's actually a 1984 Fiat Pininfarina Azura that's speeding through the city right here. And I know that because of Google Lens. It was like, do you want to know exactly what that fucking is? And I was like, I do. Oh, think of the emissions in that fucking car.

Yeah. So, but our hero drives through town fast. Oh, think of the emissions in that fucking car. Yeah. So, but our hero drives through town fast. Oh, a hero. Our main character drives through town really quickly. And then we get him like he's bursting out of his car and then going into a house. And this is shown in like, like first person shooter camera perspective. Right. We can't actually see who this is. We don't know whose eyes we're looking through, but we know this house is very scary for some reason. It doesn't actually look scary. I don't know if it's like the faux vinyl countertops that we're supposed to be horrified by. Those were

scary. That's pretty scary. Yeah. All of the orange and brown. Yeah They went with the Blair Witch thing but just for a second because they started doing it and then somebody's like Hey, we should probably like show the main character soon, right? Like we're gonna do that in the moment. They're like, yeah Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right. All right, and they just like slowly edge it towards Okay, he's a little bit in the frame his arms in the frame Yeah, right the rest of the movie seem a little bit at a time. It's third person He's like jaws, right? Like we see him a little bit at a time. It's third person. He's like Jaws, right? Like we see him a little bit and then we see a little bit more.

But yeah, but he gets his, as I'm writing, is this movie an FPS? He gets a shotgun and I'm like, it is. He loads his shotgun and then we get my best worst. I think this is the fastest we've ever gotten to my best worst, which is his silly echo scream that he does here. And you know, I'm going to be honest, I didn't realize on my first

watch of this movie. Yes, I watched that scene twice. Nice. That was him screaming. I was trying to figure out if I had missed something. You know, was there somebody else in this scene that was screaming? No, it was, I guess, him. We don't know why. It was confusing. Like, I thought they were about to pan over and show like Raiden doing a flying torpedo Right a combat and I would have been like, oh, okay cool. Yeah

That would track so here I'm gonna really depress you carry You've actually watched this scene four times because we get this one twice per movie for watch. Oh shoot. You're right Yeah, I did watch that four times. That was a mistake in retrospect. Yeah, no, it really is. I'll never forget that. So then we get our opening titles. It says Fury to Freedom. So I guess that barbaric job, that was the Fury, right? And this is where we're going to properly meet. We're actually going to go back in time. We'll catch up back up with that scene many moons from now.

But now we're going to meet Raul. Now his name is not Raul. It is Raul. Right? For some reason. We never get an explanation of this, but he corrects several people when they try to say something like Raul. It's Raul.

Yep. Yep. It's jarring, y'all. You will mispronounce my name, dammit. I think he has Mexican ancestry in real life. So it probably is Raul, according to his parents. You would think that it would be Raul. Yeah, but no, I could never decide through this movie if this guy was the poor man's Scott Baio

or the poor man's Ralph Macchio, right? But he was one of them. Oh, I was getting like discount Sylvester Stallone at the beginning. Oh, really? Yeah, but maybe that was just some of the scenes with the gray sweatpants and going to the kung fu. And the pushups. Yeah, he had big sly vibes for sure. He looked like the samurai cop guy to me and I was like, nice.

Oh, really? Okay. That movie's awesome. So yeah, so he wakes up and he starts immediately doing pushups. Yeah, we see like a pan over some trophies and a baseball glove and he wakes up and just bangs out a bunch of pushups as fast as he can. And I was like, wow, okay, this is, this is a meme about a sad guy at his parents house in his childhood bedroom right now, which is, I think it was described as like the equivalent of cutting off your bangs is

being in your childhood bedroom and doing like 23 push-ups in sadness. Wow. Yeah. And it's real frustrating too because you're starting out watching this film looking at this person who is clearly in his late 30s, thinking this is gonna be about an adult, and then it takes some time to catch up to the fact that he's supposed to be a child living in his parents' house.

I'm not really sure. Yeah, yeah, we do find that out, but I was like, okay, it's very possible this grown man displays childhood trophies in his grownup house, for sure. Yes, that's where I thought we were going with this. The real Raul, yes. Yeah, he's also like 55 years old, the actor in real life.

Oh really, yeah. I don't know how old exactly, but he looks ridiculously old and he's playing a high school kid. Oh yeah, sorry, so yeah, that's the thing that messes with me. Like, at the beginning of this movie, I had written down, he comes down to kiss his wife.

Right? That character's supposed to be his mom. That makes more visual sense than what we look at. It really does. I thought those were his kids. Right, that's what I thought. I'm like, I had him down as his two daughters, as his son and his daughter, and no, they're not. They're supposed to be his sister and his brother. But yeah, but he comes downstairs after he does his pushups, I guess. He's already rocking

his leather jacket. That's how badass he is. By the time he comes down for breakfast, he's already wearing a leather jacket. It's really cold in this house, okay? Apparently they didn't pay the heat. Yeah, right. No, I get it. Sometimes I need to go into a controlled slide while I'm having eggs. You don't know.

I eat eggs hard. They sliced alone. It's all coming full circle. So yeah, so, but he goes to kiss his mom and she winces because her abusive husband has bruised her arm. Yeah, this is the other part where I was really lost for a few minutes there because you think he's her husband at first. And then you realize, okay, he's calling her mom.

He's worried about her safety and it pans over and you see this thoroughly unscary, allegedly abusive husband who's suffering from either COPD or some kind of hangover induced seizure disorder and the lazy boy. And he's just enraged that this situation has befallen him. He's towering over everyone in this scene. I'm not sure where the danger is for Sylvester. It feels like you're not going to need Kung Fu to deal with this guy. I don't think you are. I mean that that leg swing is gonna make it look a lot cooler, but I do think it's necessary.

He's pretty tall. It'd be hard to go over top of this guy, this abusive dad. So yeah, but Raul hates dad and he hates mom for being abused. That was, that was a bit of a shuddering moment, but he hates everything. He just goes over to the dad in the chair and kicks his leg over. Haha. All right. Yeah. I think I win or something. This would be a real short movie. Right? Yeah. But Raul motorcycles away, not before popping his collar. OK. But he motorcycles away. Now we have to meet Sharon. She is our 36 year old high school girl that will be the love interest

for our 36 year old high school boy. Right. Listen, she failed a few classes. Math is hard. Don't judge. So we see her going to work, going to school rather with it. She's walking to school with all her cheerleader friends and they're all congratulating her on being the homecoming princess, but who will she go to the dance with? Yeah, hard to say. Raoul comes by on his motorcycle while they're walking.

Think about how quickly we failed the Bechtel test right there. Right? Like, so at this point, there's not even a man introduced yet. They're like, what will be the man introduced to this conversation? And then Raoul drives by. They fail that test at the speed of a motorcycle very literally. Yeah. And Raoul comes by, he's all like broody and a big snit. Somehow, like visually, that's true as he's going by on the motorcycle. And Sharon's just like sploosh broody. Nice. It's 1985. Also Sharon's apparently been going to this high school long enough to be the homecoming

princess which excuse me for not having gone to a school that did this. I thought it was homecoming queen as princess like the runner up or something. That's what I thought. Yeah, right. Or the Queen's daughter. Like, that's how that's supposed to work, isn't it? Like, what? Is there an adult at this who won the Queen? How old is the Homecoming Queen at this school? Yeah, she'd have to be in her late 50s, wouldn't she? Does your mom have to show up at the thing now and get like a tiara? It feels like a

bad situation. It's getting worse and worse. Oh, mom! When we think about it. Yeah, but, but, but, right, but, but she's gone to the school long enough to be that, but hasn't met the broody guy on the motorcycle with the leather jacket. Right. Why do they have to introduce her to this guy?

Like he seems to be making a spectacle of himself in every scene. How has she not met him? This is never explained. And we have to have like three meeting him scenes or almost meeting him scenes, right? Because then we get her at the locker and he comes by, he walks by in the hall with his friends all talking about fucking wrist control or whatever. The script clearly just said like mumble mumble karate kung fu words. So they do that as best they can.

Kung fu, not karate. Yeah and at one point he was like you mean karate and he's like no kung fu like street fighting read a fucking martial arts class book I don't know. Right yeah right but apparently this talk about the distinction between karate and kung fu really does it for Sharon, right? Because the guy wrote this movie. Yes, this is what women like, clearly. Well, I mean, if it's... Like, women will be throwing themselves at this character throughout the entire movie, so clearly. We know one knows why, but it's happening for some reason.

It must... Because it says it in the script. Yeah, that's why. That's the reason. Yep. I'm financing this movie. But now we have to learn what a badass he is, right? So he goes into the locker room and there's this guy who's much bigger than him hogging the one little tiny mirror in the locker room to comb his hair over and over again.

Again, no explanation for why this is happening in a high school bathroom. Yeah, why would the high school bathroom only have one tiny little mirror? Go fuck yourself. One mirror in this locker room for everyone. Yeah, I bet that's how it goes. I mean, don't we all remember getting in fights in the locker room over who could look in the one mirror? What's a mirror?

I mean, having flashbacks. A lot of wielded combs. Yeah. Yeah, right. Well, that's why those switchblade combs got so big in the 80s. Yeah. I'm pretty sure the people who wrote this script were homeschooled or something. That's the only explanation for these scenes. Oh, there you go. They're like, yeah, right. What do people get into fights about? Is it mirrors? I don't know. Were you looking at a mirror when I asked you that question? Oh, shut up, man.

Should we put a litter box in the corner? I heard that from libs of Tik Tok. So he starts talking shit to the guy who's hogging the mirror and that guy grabs him by the leather jacket. Big mistake, right? So we get the second of the barbaric yops, right? But not the last. Nope, nope. We'll hear it again. Guys, I wrote my notes here. If I had super strength, but I had to scream like that to turn it on, I would not use it. I think that's a good call. But then you wouldn't get to be the star of a movie such as this.

Yeah, right. No, I wouldn't be able to do those sweet fucking elbow punches to the sternum here. What is he even trying to do? But anyway, so he beats up the big guy, right? Him and his buddy run away. Then we get him in biology class, I fucking Sharon, right? When he's summoned to the principal's office and we get the, you know, the classic, ooh, that was fun. That was fun. I miss that.

I really, really like, ooh, you walk out and everybody's just like, you feel notorious for just a minute. Yeah, that felt good. But so OK, so but now we have to see him at the principal's office, right? He's a menace to society. He gets in fights all the time. Apparently, Apparently. And the punishment is that he suspended for two days, which was always weird to me in school that like that was your punishment. It's like you didn't have to come to school for a couple of days. Like no sense. Oh, no.

You know, never understood that. Considering this guy barely goes to class anyway. How is this a punishment? They're just right. I guess maybe they're just making it safer for everyone else, but not really because now he's just going to be released onto the rest of society. There's really no upside. And he's going to use that time to learn Kung Fu. Right. Which you can do in two days, it turns out. That's all it takes. One quick montage is all it takes.

Yeah. So OK. So when he was talking with his buddies about Kung Fu, one of his friends gave him a card of a Kung Fu teacher in town. So he looks at that card now. Now, at some point, this conversation literally happened in the making of this movie. Hey, guys, should we make a prop card or just use this gentleman's actual business card in the film? And they were like, hey, man, a business card is just use this gentleman's actual business card in the film. And they were like, hey, man, a business card is like a 16 cent prop and that 16 cents a blow. We would not be snorting if we did that.

So they literally got to buy the Wilhelm scream on TV. And there's like a bunch of. Yeah. So they use the actual business card and it's fucking great. It says he's a SAG member It's so silly. So the guy's name is Gerald Okamura. It says man of many weapons martial arts expert No luckily for Gerald though They did put a thumb over top of the actual guy's phone number because you know it's his fucking home number. But so he walks into the Kung Fu place, which the fucking soundtrack celebrates with a gong,

by the way, when it comes to the cultural sensitivity that you can come to expect out of this film. I think we just set the tone right there. Very high quality filmmaking, culturally sensitive. We're going to be able to learn new things watching this film. I guarantee. Yeah. It's already going to be going really badly because we're going to watch 1985 Americans doing quote, Kung Fu, what they believe to be Kung Fu. And then they were like, we're doing a Gong too, right? Gong.

Oh yeah. yeah, yeah, obviously, obviously gong. And then, so he walks into this dojo or whatever and there's a ninja beating up a guy when he comes in, right, doing the like silly demonstration fight stuff. Yeah, in a mask. Like why would you have a mask on for your, why would you have a ninja outfit in the dojo? This is just practice. Right. Also. That's a different martial art. I just want to throw that out there

I thought this was kung fu. I don't know what we're doing anymore y'all Well, also look I want to see the moment right before that where they're like, oh, there's a guy coming get on the mat Get on the mat. I'm gonna be I'm gonna put on my ninja mask. It's gonna look awesome Right or we have to believe that that's just what they do, right? They're just on an endless fucking loop of doing that demonstration shit. It's on backwards. Until somebody walks in. Stop. Stop.

Hahaha. It's also a great bit. Raul tries to like step up to introduce himself or whatever and Gerald is furious. He says, get off the mat. And I'm like, dude, that's a customer. I mean, let's calm down. Right, he doesn't know the rules here. He just walked in. You're wearing a mask doing God knows what in this facility that we call a studio for this entire movie.

Nobody knows what's going on here, sir. You cannot blame him for that. Yes, yeah. Right, right, exactly. You can put up a sign if it's that important to you. Right, they're going for that like, you know, martial arts master thing where you ask to learn and they have to like say no, right? And then you have to like persevere.

But they don't do any of that. It was just like, get out of here. And he's like, no, sorry, can I? I want to learn the karate stuff. And he's like, yeah, OK. And then he's like, no, sorry, can I, I want to learn the karate stuff. And he's like, yeah, okay. And then he's like, but then he's like, yes, no, I guess that is my job. So we get the kung fu lesson. And I think all of us at least considered best worst kung fu lesson. Oh, yes. Right. Because it's like a 90 second montage or so that we get.

And at the end of it, he's a master of Kung Fu. This was so much fun. Yes. He's been to this place one time and just progressively that Kung Fu leg swing just gets higher and higher and higher. He doesn't have to like gain flexibility over time or anything like that. He's just a genius at this instantly. It's incredible. Yeah. It's just about the sweep over higher, higher, higher.

Like I feel like I could win a fight against any of these people just by like holding a shiny object really high and they like, Oh shit. Yeah. They can't go over that. Yeah. Yeah. They'd have to be very tall. Yeah. Just your tallness by itself gives you such an advantage against this fighting style. Well, so I guess we're supposed to believe that this is happening over a long period of time, I guess. Wasn't it a two day suspension?

I'm so confused. Yeah. Yeah. That's how he spent his time. Well, he goes Sundays. He goes on Sundays. We'll find out eventually. I like that the lesson starts with just okay do anything, you know

Come at me and then grab your foot in tribute and then come at me again grab your foot tribute It happened so many times in a row. It was the world's first corner trap. It's the best. Yeah We just watch a really long corner trap sequence. It's the best. And then we get the kicking higher and higher one where you feel like, because again, it doesn't give you any sense of time going by, where you feel like Gerald should have been like, Ah, shit, I should have started with my hand way up here. You can kick very high. What are we fucking around down here for? It's like the movie was like, Hey, no corner traps movie.

They move on eventually. I just, I wrote montages have come a long way since then. And then we got to, to Raul running into officer John out on the street. That's how I refer to all of my friendly local police officers. Yes. My officer first name. Officer first name. Do you know me? How do we know this guy?

What is happening? Yeah, well, Officer John apparently knows, he keeps his ear to the fucking ground because he's like, I hear you were in a big rumble the other day. A rumble? It's a weird grapevine that's not really helping with anything because apparently the cop didn't like stop that from happening. Do any consequence type stuff, right? Do they have an officer that works in the school or not? What is this? Yeah unclear? Yeah, and if not, why are you listening to high school fucking gossip officer John?

You're creeping me the fuck out Yeah, I've got questions about officer John's motives Yeah well and And last he's had a different fight that we're not aware of to officer John asking about his big rumble kind of works against the idea that a lot of time went by during that montage.

Right. I'm telling y'all he was in there for like one day. Maybe you're right. I think you're right. Two at most. Just a quick little thing with the sharks and the jets in between kung fu lessons. We'll get there so but officer John's like hey you should join the Marines and he's like and he's like the Marines This is act one. No

So then okay So then we cut to the house and there are a couple of abuse scenes in this movie that are really uncomfortable to watch Especially because no one ever gets any comeuppance. They just get forgiven. Yes, everyone, every single person gets forgiven in this. That that's apparently the thing that you do to stop domestic violence. Just, just forgive them. They'll stop. And they'll change eventually. Yes. Jesus Christ.

It's such a damaging message. But the first of these is the scene that we get right here, right where they're having this very cliche, why isn't dinner better fight, where the dad's yelling at her and eventually hits her. Yeah, okay. I got lost in this dialogue as well. I mean, granted, I'm lost throughout this entire movie and I find it hilarious, but I could not stop laughing when he says

the food is really bad or whatever he says and she's like what do you think I am a magician what does that have to do with it? Do they make good food? I mean did you mean chef? What? Eli's a magician he's a fucking vegan. Where are your mashed potatoes? Check your wallet.

OK, I don't know how you did that, but now I have mashed potatoes in my wallet and I'm an angry, abusive husband. So that just made it worse, probably. Yeah. So but but but Raul gets up and he yells at Dad and Dad pushes him down. He says, if you touch me again, I'll kill you. And then Dad touches him again and he doesn't kill him and I'm like what's the point

of even taking the classes then man? Right. Jesus. I thought he was a Kung Fu master at this point in time he's been training for this for the last at least two days. Well most two days but yes. Use your violence for the forces of good damn it. Yeah.

Unfortunately abusive dad doesn't come at him like this. So he didn't know what to do. Oh, you're right. There was no opportunity with the table there. He couldn't do the leg swing. He couldn't grab the leg. He couldn't go over the head or under. He couldn't do the classic move.

Couldn't do the corner trap. There was nothing else he could do. He was stuck. So dad sends him to his room. He goes to his room. Oh, this is where we get Heath's best works. Yeah, right. Yeah.

He gets pushed by dad and he's like, I've only got two days of kung fu. I'm still losing to this guy. And dad's like, get out. And he's like, fine. I will. I wanted to leave. I wanted to go to my room. Yeah.

Long pause. Kick a chair. Run. Kick a chair. He does it so flouncy too. Cause he like doesn't put his body towards the chair. He just does like a quick leg goes out and runs. That's the best. Yeah. So he goes to his room, he punches his heavy bag, but only once. And then he tries, this is the first of several times that he tries to act. Oh, this was amazing.

Right? This was the first time he started trying. Yeah. It's so good. He's supposed to be like stewing in his room and you know, sad about obviously abusive dad. And he starts trying to act the crying, but like with words, you know how you like cry

with a little bit of words? Yeah, yeah. But then he realizes he's got nothing and he just stops. He just stops crying. And they show us like 10 more seconds of him being like, I don't know what to do. I don't have it, just cut, just cut. This is the best it's gonna get.

And that was the best cut that they had of that scene. They had to use that one. Right. The rest were worse. Somebody pass me a chair. And just to make it a little bit better, my experience of this movie, because I watched it on YouTube with a lot of ad breaks, was he's in the middle of trying to cry, try to cry, try to cry. And then all of a sudden, the chacaroni is back. So I just, sorry. I

know we don't talk about the ads, but man, that was great time. So, okay. So now it's time for our love interests to meet, right? Raul's welcome by Sharon is sitting there with her friend, Laurie, who also knows Raul, and she's going to grab him and like introduce the two, right? First, we have to establish that he cheated on his math test. Oh, yeah. In a really weird, inefficient way that he can't remember doing

Like did he cheat or did he just fail the math test or both? I don't know, but I'm not confident that that helped him I don't think the movie knows because they try to claim that he like Cheated on a math test with arm answers like yeah, just like numbers written on your that's Nine written on his arm forget what numbers were the one subject where like that wouldn't really know names or whatever but like no just the the digits of the Arabic numerals you get your fucking multiplication tables on there or something? So okay, but eventually when it's clear to Lori that she's not getting any, she introduces

Sharon to Raoul. Which for some reason really embarrasses Sharon and it's not clear why given this is like the third time she's met this guy. Right, right, yeah. So but then, okay, we have this scene. We have to make me hate this character maximally, but he's eventually gonna hit his wife. I'll hate him more,

but I already hated him plenty for this scene. Him and his buddies go into this bathroom and there's somebody and they're smoking a joint. And they're like, yeah, officer, he's right through here. And then the guy has to flush his joint down the toilet. Fuck those assholes. I bet like, man, back in the eighties, it was probably really hard to get a fucking joint when you were in high school.

I know it was in the fucking 90s. Noah's so mad. I was so pissed. I'm like, what a dick move. And then they fall on the floor laughing. I'm like, I hope you all got gonorrhea after that. After rolling around in that. It serves you right.

That was revolting in that moment. Oh my god! A high school bathroom? Touching the floor of a public bathroom in real life right now. Oh! That's like the set somewhere that people are using as a bathroom. You're right. Jokes on them. Yeah, right, right. That's what they get.

So, okay. So then after class, we cut to Sharon like she's going to make her move and ask Raoul to ask her to the dance that she is the homecoming princess of. That makes sense. Yep. Tracking completely. Yeah. No, there's, there's, there's a weird moment here where she's like, you know, my boyfriend doesn't go to the school.

He's from Canada. You don't know him, but, but anyway, like why? Okay. But he's like, yeah, no, I'll take you to the dance. There's like a fourth level failing of the Bechdel test. Yeah. Making up a guy to talk about to a guy. Well, so, okay, so, so then we have to see where she's getting ready for the dance

with her mom, right. And mom's like, I'm a little nervous. And I wrote my notes. It's OK, mom. She's 36. I think she can take care of herself. It's gonna be fine. And her mom looks like she's about 80 also. Yes, right. Why? I think, honestly, I think that's what 45 year olds looked like back then too, though. I think. Oh, man. But yeah, but mom's like, she's like, well, is this fellow Christian? And Sharon's like, well, no. But mom's like, she's like, well, is this fellow Christian? And Sharon's like, well, no.

And mom's like, well, I don't want you dating no Jews or nothing. Like what? Right. That's the implication, right? She's like, oh, well, I don't know about this then. Yeah. At best a slur about atheists. Like that's the least offensive version of what was happening. Yes. And we're really giving them a lot of grace, assuming that as well. Right. She's like, well, you know, you should be obedient to God. And I'm like, by that, do you mean obedient to you personally, what you think and say? And it turns out I was right. Yes, that is precisely what she meant. Don't you know she's God? Obviously. God speaks through her.

She goes, come on, Mom, he's just my escort. And I'm like, wow, how the meaning of that word has changed in the last 40 years. Right. I wanted them to say date. They kept saying escort. Yeah. Made it worse. Yeah.

Again, I'm back to my hypothesis. The people that wrote the script went to home school. I'm not sure they've ever been to a school function in real life. Ascourt! So okay, so then we cut to the dance. My cue in the notes for this was just dancing with an asterisk. These guys, they look like, like if Heath was being forced to dance to get his family back. Okay, this was very triggering. Whenever this happens in a movie, I get all tense watching dances. I just flashback to my middle school and high school memories, reminding myself out loud

in my head, like, don't snap, don't clap, don't snap, and I'm snapping. Fuck! Dancing did not go well for me. Oh no. You know, at least you tried. I think that was better than what was happening here. I was watching this and running through my mind the whole time. I was like, oh, is it a purity ball?

No one is going to be tempted. Sharon's mom doesn't have to worry. This is not seductive dancing at all. We're fine. Everyone is safe. Now there is room for the Holy Ghost for sure. There's plenty of room. Yeah.

Well, and this really, I feel like this actually backs up the Kara theory as well, right? Because we see the high school dance and clearly the people who are making this movie have no idea what happens, right? Because it's like eight seconds. It's like dancing and I don't know, fucking punch. They punch, there's probably punch. And then that scene's over. Yeah. That's all we get. They didn't know what else to do. They're like, I don't know. They danced. That was a sin. We don't know. Let's go. Let's go get forgiven for watching that. Yeah. In reality, it's just like the cool kids doing hand

jobs somewhere else and me like trying to dance as best I can. Yeah. Right. OK, so then the next day at school, they run into each other and she tells him she sure had a good time. Maybe they should do something like that again. Right. And he's like, yeah, maybe we should do something like that again.

She's like, well, why don't you come to church with me? And he's like, not at all what I had in mind. So not at all like what we just did or like what we were talking about. No. Where did that come from? He begrudgingly eventually agrees to go to church, I guess. Yeah. And then just like, but I won't realize the value until later in the movie, whatever.

Right, right. Decades later. Flounces off. Yeah. It's okay. So then we have this long fucking montage of him and his buddy practicing kung fu, but his buddy is the comic relief. You can tell because he's overweight, right?

Oh, 50 year old Randy Quaid, his high school buddy? Exactly, yeah. Yes, yeah, and he can't kung fu good at all. No, and Raul teaches at the kung fu school now. We haven't seen the actual sensei again since then. I don't know if his business card was really successful in the previous scene and he You can't get all that much Gerald Okamura in your fucking movie, okay No, don't be greedy, but yeah, so so we watched this for a really long time and it's just fucking dumb

But then as they're leaving kung fu practice, a couple of punks surround them. As is typical outside of a martial arts studio, that's where the young bugs come to rob people. That's where the muggers really tend to target. Yes. Not a good pick. You got to pick your game. That's what poker players say.

Bad table for you if you're a mugger. But they're trying to set up, yeah, like a good pick. You got to pick your game. That's what poker players say. Bad table for you if you're a mugger. But they're trying to set up, yeah, like a mugging. But they do it wrong because they're idiots. So a guy just walks up and is like, hey, can I get a little spare change? And they have to like turn that into, I'm mugging you. But it starts with just like a street tough just being like, hey, can I get like a quarter? I need to make a call. Right. A, hey, can I get like a quarter? I need to make a call.

Right. A tumbleweed blows by all of a sudden. I'm like, also, also we have got to talk about this fucking guy is sitting off in the corner wearing a Corinthian helmet made of cardboard. What the fuck is going on? What was that? I had to rewind a couple of times. I realized that's not what we do on YouTube anymore. We call it something else. But realized that's not what we do on youtube anymore We call it something else, but I was like what is on his head. What are we seeing? Obviously, is that like a burger king? crown

What are we doing truly insane? And they never address it in the movie. No, this is not addressed. We just get to watch this fight including a guy with a cardboard burger king Roman Centurion helmet getting like judo thrown at one point. And we get this whole like, you know, taxi scene reenactment. Are you talking to me? Yes. Are you talking to me?

Sir? Yes. He's obviously talking to you, man. They don't show us the moment where they established the rules of this fight, but it appears there have been rules established, which is the mugging squad can do punches only and the Kung Fu squad will be doing kick and kick overs only. Right. Yes.

Yep. That makes sense. Don't mess up the choreography. They only had two days to practice this y'all. Oh, right, right. They haven't gotten to punches yet. That's day three. But also, but Heath, it's not just kicks. It's also back handsprings. There are several, I would say very unexpected, I would say inefficient back handsprings.

Back handsprings outside of a gymnastic competition are unexpected. And inefficient. Yeah. Seems like walking over there would have been a quicker way to get there. Yes. I'm trying to think of a situation in which a back handspring can ever be efficient, if that would ever be the word. Step it away from the urinal.

No, because you wouldn't want your hands to get on that. Never mind. Never mind. We've been over this. We've been over this. I can't think of a scenario. It's pretty tough. It's pretty tough. I will need a minute. So, but okay. So big balls would hate that. Not efficient at all. So yeah, so, but he beats all the guys up, right? It was amazing to see his buddies there as well. So he has like beat three guys up and then two of the other guys are beating

up his friends. We should go beat them up as well. So he has like beat three guys up and then two of the other guys are beating up his friends We should go beat them up as well And then his friend gets off like one good hit and it's like hitting him in the face with his bag Because it's that inept. Yeah classic boy Yeah, and so as they're walking away from this alley full of their victims They run into officer John again and they have to go like, yo, Lou Lou Lou doing walking stuff. Walking stuff is my favorite.

Because you can't report to the police that you were wrong. They mugged! Yes! Almost mugged. That's not what the police are for. Don't tell them quick. It's a secret. What?

I guess. Yeah. They're supposed to be a bunch of tension because of that, right? Where it was just like, oh, how convenient that you would have this police officer there that could go and arrest these people for the crime that they committed. But no, no, they were right around the corner. You didn't hear Raoul yelling, Keha, like 85 times just now. You didn't hear that was an officer.

John is busy. I looked over, I figured it must have been some gymnastics demonstration because why the fuck else would you be doing have back handsprings? It's a reasonable assumption. Maybe people LARPing Roman Centurions. I thought it was a LARPing thing. All right. Well, we just got that time. I beat up five guys who tried to jump me. So I think we're going to take a quick break before this guy beats Battletoads on the first try. But we will be back in a minute with even more

Fury to Freedom. Hey Noah. Noah. Hey, what's up? Noah. What's up, man? Hey, hey. Yeah.

Have you seen my whale head? You have a whale head? I do. I haven't seen. I would. I haven't seen it. I would remember that if I saw it. All right. Well. Fine.

Okay. Yeah. What are you doing with a whale head, Heath? Great question, Noah. I'm making my super food bone broth. According to my health expert guy, it's got everything I need for nutrition. Yeah, that sounds incorrect. Well, hold on.

I haven't told you about the magic yet. It's got whale bones for strong bones, like whales have, pretty sure. It's got lion's mane for main health and collagen for my joints. I have the broth and the collagen goes straight to my bad knee. Yeah, the details all made it worse. But Heath, if you're looking for an easy way to eat better, why don't you try Factor? Oh, what's Factor?

It's a great place to get delicious, healthy meals. They're ready in two minutes. You just heat them up and enjoy giving yourself more time to do what you want. Two minutes. That sounds great. But is there a bunch of prep that's not included in that two minutes? No, no prep. Factor meals arrive fresh and ready to eat. Perfect for any active lifestyle. Spring is here on Factor. Super easy meals let you get outside instead of all the time you'd spend prepping and cooking indoors. Factor meals pack into the flavor with none of the fuss.

Okay, but here's the thing. I like variety. Do they have that? You're making bone broth for every meal and you like variety? I like variety. Do they have that? You're making bone broth for every meal and you like variety. I like variety. Yep. Yeah. Okay. Just checking. But yes, Factor has plenty of variety with 45 weekly menu options. You can pick gourmet meals that fit your goals. You can choose from calorie smart protein plus keto and more. Factor powers your day with satisfying breakfast, on the go lunches, premium dinners, and guilt free snacks and desserts. Okay, but have you actually tried it? I eat Factor almost every day. Lucinda and I were getting Factor Meals before they even became a sponsor.

Yesterday, I had a delicious creamy dill shrimp cavatapi, and this morning, I had cinnamon roll pancakes that were so good, they should be illegal. Nice. All right, I'm sold. Where do I sign up? Get started at factormeals.com slash awful 50 off and use the code awful 50 off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code awful 50 off at factor meals dot com slash awful 50 off for 50% off plus free shipping. All right.

Thanks Noah. No problem. Hey, one other question. Have you seen my jar of room temperature beef tallow? I thought you were just going to try factor. Yeah, I am. But don't worry about it. All right.

Kung Fu lesson number one, come at me with any attack. All right. All right. Uh, here we go. What if I, uh, what if I did a little trip to you? OK, all right. Nice trip. Nice trip. That was that was actually pretty cool.

That was pretty cool. Come on, get up, get up and come at me again. OK, OK. What if I did something like about... TRIP YOU! Oh, okay. That one hurt. Alright, you got me again.

I did. You got me again. I was going... I did. Okay, come at me again. They said we'd use a different attack this time. I feel like you're just going to trip me though. No, I'm not going to trip you.

Really? You're not going to trip me? Yep, I promise. I'm not going to trip you. Okay. Alright, fine, fine. Alright, new attack. What about the old... What about... Ow! So stupid!

Fuck you! Got you! You know what? I quit. I'm leaving. Rowell, Rowell, don't be like that. Come... Rowell! Wait, Rowell, Raoul. Raoul, don't be like that. Come on. Raoul! Wait, Raoul. Hold on.

What? What? What? Congratulations! You've earned a yellow belt. Oh, fuck yeah! Yellow belt? I'm back.

Well done, my young student. Thanks. Okay, so, uh, can I get my belt? Pretty excited about that. No, there's a whole ceremony. It's in the next class. Okay. So, uh, can I get my belt? Pretty excited about that. No, there's a whole ceremony. It's in the next class. Noice. But you have to pay now though. Oh.

And we're back for more of this shit. We're going to rejoin the action with Raul going to church with Sharon. Right? We have her like waiting for him. He shows up a little late on his motorcycle. He's got his Sunday best denim jacket with popped collar instead of leather. Yeah, yes. For church. And her dress is, it is a dress.

Sure is. We'll say that about it. Sure is, can double as a tent if you get caught like on the side of the road overnight or something like that. You know, shelter, provide shelter for yourself and a family of rabbits. It's like they were trying to do the opposite of pants as far as they could.

You know, opposite of lady pants. We want to, you know, propaganda wise. Yeah, right. Right. Trying to move the over to the wind. Jacket goes all the way down. Right. So, but then we cut to him in church and the sermon is so boring that he falls asleep.

And in his defense, the part of the sermon we hear is, and we should pray for our congressmen and our senators and our president. And I'm like, Oh my God, man, did you start a dog catcher? What the hell? Right. I'd fall asleep too. I think I fell asleep in that part of the movie. It was so boring. I was like, I don't blame this guy. They're praying for, I mean, at the time of the making of the movie, Ronald Reagan, or at the time of the setting of the movie, Richard Nixon.

So it's not good either way. Yeah, no, no. So, and then we, so we get the little quick church thing and now we're at a basketball game and she's a cheerleader for the basketball team. Which I just, I want to point out that the dress code just seems very different. I'm not here to shame anybody for what they're wearing, but like girl, why are you dressing in that thing to go to church?

But then it's perfectly fine at school to be a cheerleader. Like just dress how you want to dress. Stop with this whole, this is what I wear to church, but then it's perfectly fine at school to be a cheerleader. Like, just dress how you want to dress. Stop with this whole, this is what I wear to church business. Come on. We know this isn't real. Yeah. Further homeschool confirmation of your theory, for sure. Yeah.

Yes. So, but then, like, so we watched this for a while. The home team takes the lead. And I'm like, I don't fucking care. Do you really think I give a shit about what happens in this fucking basketball game you're staging? Well, neither does the movie. They get it wrong though. They do. Yes.

And they show it to us and they don't have to show it to us. It's so stupid. The home team hits a shot near the buzzer and the guy gets fouled. So he gets the A and one and they show the foul shot. They showed us the scoreboard that was tied and then they show us the scoreboard. They're up two points. They're actually up three. Why show us that? Right. They thought they had it.

They really thought they had figured out basketball and they were really proud of that. Like you're ruining this for them. I guess. Well, and also like apparently Rao was really pissed off at basketball. Right. Right, I don't understand why, but he's just sitting there just

seething at the fact that basketball. He doesn't like basketball. And this is the first and only sign that Raul might be problematic in this relationship. Right. Right. Yeah. Now we're starting to wonder. Yeah. See if you can pick them out as we go. Yeah. Right. We're starting to wonder, yeah. See if you can pick them out as we go. Yeah, right. Exactly. So now, so we cut to Sharon, she's walking home and Raul shows up on his motorcycle and he's like,

hey, do you want to ride on my giant thousand pound vibrator? And she goes, no, no, my mom said that you're too rebellious and I can't see you anymore because of your lack of Christianity. And he goes, but aren't you rebellious too? And so they go on a motorcycle ride together. 100% this guy in real life being like, I could drive a motorcycle for real. You got to show a shot of it. You have to. So they know it's not a stunt man. Also I can kick over a motorcycle show that.

And by kick over, we don't mean that you're actually going to knock it over. You're just going to swing your leg over the top of it. Yes. To be clear. After that I'm going to risk control the motorcycle. I'm going to control the muffler. That's the wrist of a motorcycle. Most people don't know that.

We cut to him in bed getting an 8.30 PM wake up call for the party. I don't know. Right. And he's late. They're like, where are you? I thought you were going up call for the party. I don't know. Right. Like and he's late. They're like, where are you? I thought you were going to come to the party, dude. It's eight thirty. Yeah, I'll get to the fucking. Again, homeschoolers.

Yeah, right. Schoolers later than that. Yeah, this party's over if this is homeschoolers. So, yeah, so he gives them like, I'll be right there as if he's being called in to work. Right. Going to a fucking party. So OK, so we gives them like, I'll be right there as if he's being called into work, right? He's going to a fucking party. So okay, so he cut to the party. And somebody at the party is challenging Raoul to knock another guy out with one punch.

Just some random, just some guy that neither of them know. Right, not some guy that they don't like or anything like that. And he's going to give him $ dollar if he assaults this guy. One of four games of Pac-Man right here in your hand. Yeah. So he comes up and there's this just really big guy and he's like, Hey, I'm going to sucker punch you in the face. He goes, you're going to what? And he sucker punches him in the face. And then it doesn't stop there somehow.

I guess the bloodlust gets him or something. And next thing you know, he's throwing people out of windows and hitting people over the head with beer bottles. Right. No, he cuts a dude's face with a beer bottle. Yeah. Broken beer bottle for free. Apparently, we're. OK, I thought knocking people That was a dollar apiece. What the fuck are you doing?

Then why was this a BOGO kind of a situation? We definitely missed a few of the key lessons at that two day dojo stint. One of them being grab a bottle and hit somebody in the face and the other kick through windows when possible. You just cannot invite this guy to your party. Yeah. So he slices into his face and throws him through the window. So then we cut to him at court for the face slicing.

Right. He's been arrested for assault with a deadly weapon. I feel like because this guy hit him with a chair from behind and then kicked him in the ribs. I feel like that's a mitigating circumstance, but the judge isn't having any of it. It's nonsense. The judge is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, the state's going to drop the charges if you join the military right now.

And that's actually what happens. That's the plot of the movie. Yep. I needed a DA to be like, nope, no, we're not dropping it at all. Definitely not doing that. Remember y'all, this is how the justice system works if you're a young straight white man with a promising athletic career ahead of you or one time you did a sport. Yes, right.

That's probably accurate for whenever this happens. No, right? Well, hey, let me tell you, I don't know what the fucking punishment for cutting a guy's face and throwing him through a window is, but I'd take it over being sent to goddamn Vietnam. Right? Like I'll go to jail for 30 days or whatever we're doing here. Yeah. This does not add up.

Yes, and then some probation. I got to, yeah. Right. So but he's like, yeah, I'll join the military. So we cut to outside the court. We learned that Officer John put in a good word for him. Well, or a bad word, if you like, because he ends up in Vietnam over the shin.

But yeah. Officer John was like, finally, fuck this guy. Yeah, right. John, he says, so I suppose now, Officer John was like, finally, fuck this guy. Yeah, right. John, he says, so I suppose now, Officer John, you'll tell me to join the Marines. And John says, well, that's up to you. And I'm like, well, he was sentenced to do it in a court of law, so I don't know if it's up to him. He's got one on a, he's got four choices here. I don't think they're going to, I don't think that National Guard is going to count now.

Starting Etsy shop now. He is going to count now. Starting at Sea Shop now. It's going to adopt a highway. Yeah. So, okay. So now he's in, he's in bootcamp and you know, he kind of likes being psychologically abused by this drill sergeant, I guess. So it would seem. It started giving Starship Troopers vibes real fast.

It did. Except like the difference was I'm pretty sure Starship Troopers was intentionally a satire if it's source material and I don't know what we're doing here. We're supposed to be taking this guy seriously. That would be my, I wouldn't have any problem doing the sir yes sir shit. I would just be snickering the whole time. Be going, yes yes sir yes sir with the hat yeah get the hat they always have to they have to establish the drill sergeant character and it's always like I'm your father and your mother and your God but I always want to see like the next thing

that happens in real life with that guy being like okay and here's your orientation packet everybody just you guys can all flip to page six of your handbook. Yeah. Right. So but then we get we get a montage of boot camp. Right. We don't have a whole hell of a lot of time to devote to this. So we watch a bunch of people being worn out. Yeah. And now we're wrapping up boot camp. Right. So a lot of push ups and pull ups. You always see that at boot camp stuff.

Right. I don't I've never been to a war, but I imagine there's not a lot of push-ups and pull-ups type scenarios where that's going to matter that much. I don't know. There. You got to wonder, who made these fitness assessments? Did they not do some kind of an assessment to figure out, okay, what are the functions that you need to be doing in this job? How will we measure those?

How did we arrive at this test? I really have questions. Do you guys even read the packet? No, I'm not saying that you're never gonna need to climb downward on a rope or whatever, but the odds are it's not gonna be a big part of your day. Not a lot of obstacle courses in Vietnam. No, it probably wasn't.

Not like cargo nets, you know? Turns out they're ill prepared. Yeah, right. Right. So they send them to Vietnam. OK, statistically, it should just be like cut to Vietnam. He dies credits, right? Like, yeah, that's what happens here. Yes. Right. So before we can even find out about that, we have a quick scene where he,

like, calls Sharon and he's like, hey, I'll be back in 13 months if I don't die. That's pretty soon, if you think about it. It is. Why is his deployment that short, first of all? And why is Sharon waiting for him? I thought she broke up with him before all this or I guess the motorcycle vibrator got her back. I don't understand. Yeah. I think that's what's being implied perhaps. I'll rub them back in. Yeah. All right. I've just got limited options, I guess.

Honestly, I couldn't even tell you what happened in this fucking thing because there was like a salvation army bell ringer right next to him the whole fucking time. And I was just like, Oh, come on. They on doing the most good like I'm like you haven't even found Jesus yet go punch that guy right like come on trying to talk on the phone here least kick over his head or something yeah well yeah right yeah or over the bucket then you defeat the bucket you get all the money but then okay so that week we get we get a bunch of stock footage of Vietnam and I'm writing jokes in my notes and I'm like, oh, this is video of actually people dying and shit.

Fuck. I don't want to write any jokes about that. Yeah. So we get that for a bit. Sorry. Sorry to deflate that before I hand it over to you guys as a comedy setup. No, it was. I was watching this thinking, well, this took a dark turn.

Suddenly this doesn't really seem like our proportionate punishment for his fight that he got into at a high school party. And maybe this is going to take a turn and we're going to be thinking about the horrors of war and we're going to learn about mental health. Spoiler alert, we're not. It doesn't. We're almost going to anti-learn about that.. We're almost going to anti learn about that. Yeah, we're going to look like we're going to know less about that when we come out.

Yeah. So we see him like, yeah, we see reflecting on the horrors of war. And then he walks into like frag as captain, right? He's like, I'm not going back out there again. And they send him to see a shrink for like threatening his captain or I guess. After it, I couldn't help but notice that this is now the second time in this film where he's threatened to kill someone if they, you know, put him in harm's way again, and then immediately proceeds to not do that. We're glad to hear that.

And then just like fades into the bushes. Like in the most unthreatening way possible. I laughed so hard at the bushes feed. So they're trying to make this like serious confrontation happen. So Raul goes up to his captain and he's like, if you send us out there to die one more time, one more time, one more. Time. One more. Are you slowly backing? There's nothing back there. What are you doing? That's the closet. Ow! I got stabbed by a bush. One more time. Just don't.

Really look where I'm going. Seriously don't. Ah, fine. So, but then they send him to a VA hospital to be assessed for his trauma or whatever. Apparently. But we have this moment where like the psychiatrist is telling him like, you know, well, you know, you have this type of trauma or whatever and he has to freak out on her. Right. For no reason, unprompted.

She's not doing anything to him. He just has to freak out all the time for no reason and then like launch into his second like big attempt at acting He's gonna get it right with a capital a baby He's acting so hard. He's like saying It's supposed to be the big speed he He's like, I am the fucking deer hunter. Yes. Is that a character in that movie or is it just like a I'm the deer hunter. It's like the truck the deer hunter would have driven. Yeah. Everyone just feels so sorry for him. They're

like, Oh, quick, quick. Pull them, pull him off stage. Oh yeah, right. This is going poorly. The orderlies come to grab him. They're like, this monologue is way too big for you, man. It's just swallowing you right up. You're going to need some tranks to stop that monologue in real life. But we'll put yous into the movie. So, OK. And then so they drag him out, they tranquilize him.

And then we have him in group therapy doing the same shit again. Right there, like, you know, what emotions are you feeling right now? And he's like, hate, hate, I hate you, and I hate him, and I hate her, and I wanna kill all you motherfuckers. Yeah, this was dark. I laughed right after this though,

because yeah, he's describing like a terrible thing, right? Oh, sure. I hate, I wanna, I just wanna kill everybody. And then the therapist is like, cool. Danny, how about you? Do you want to share? Yeah. Right after that.

And Danny's like, mm mm. And she's like, oh, nothing from Danny? Okay, Billy, share. No, no, I think you should address the guy who said he wants to do murders just now. I think you should address that. Yeah, right. He goes, I want to kill everyone in here. And then she's like, Oh, so how does

everybody feel about Raul wanting to kill you? You know, we're pretty uncomfortable with it. Yeah, it's really throwing off the whole vibe of group therapy. When you know the jazz, Danny and Billy are like slowly put their hands up. They're like, yeah, uncomfortable. I'm going to do the same, same, same. No're like, yeah, I'm comfortable. I'm comfortable. Me too. Same, same, same.

No, actually. We love it here. We love Ralph. We would never call him anything other than Ralph. Yeah. So, and then the psychiatrist says, well, and the scene ends. Like there's no fucking way that's how that was supposed to be cut. Welp. Welp. Well, cut. Yep.

Segway, Segway, Segway. Yeah. One more Segway. And then so we get him on a payphone with Sharon, right? She's not he's not telling her that he's in like a psych ward or anything. He's lying to her about it. And there's a there's a great moment here at the end of the call. She goes, I love you. God bless you. And Raoul goes, bye. I'm going woof. Rough. It's like none of the above.

But they're like, Hey, you got to go back and see your psychiatrist again. So he goes to see the psychiatrist and she's got some conclusions. She's done psychiatrists in him and she has determined that he's faking his PTSD to get out of combat. He's full of shit. He's a gold breaker. Right. This, this guy who is clearly the most disturbed, emotionally unstable person in her group therapy sessions is faking it. He was already PST up when he showed up at Vietnam.

Right. How did we miss this guy? And then she's like, oh, I think you fooled the government. You didn't fool me, but you fooled them. So you're being released. And I'm like, wait a minute, does she not work for the VA? Who is this lady? Right.

She's making the assessment on behalf of the government of his psychological. Wait, is she a hallucination? Like, what is this? Wait, and she has the whole thing, and she's like, you're being honorably discharged, and she does it with this whole, like, I'll get you next time gadget attitude. Right? Yeah.

I thought she was going to, like, narc to the government and the military about his fake trauma that he's faking, and then he, like like goes back to war I don't know but yeah, it was more like a gadget next time thing. Yeah, he got away with it Yeah, and then he's just out we have to somehow establish that well he got out and it wasn't actually a Mental health issue. It was that he doesn't have Jesus That's the real problem that needed to be solved that the doctors couldn't fix him for that reason. Oh my God. I'm not convinced. You know what? It just occurred to me in this. I'm sorry to make this so fucking sad all of a sudden, but yeah, this is actually because

this is based on a real guy. This is that guy trying to say, no, I don't have any of that sissy shrink need and shit. Right? That's what this God, it is that that's what it is. Mental health care won't help with this only Jebus, right? Yeah, also, I guess this is set in like 1970 or something like that I'd be zero percent surprised if that narking thing was a thing back then so sure It's that the VA would like check a checkbox that says gold-bricker and just send it to military and it's like you're back in Now you're back in Vietnam. Oh, I'm sure yeah, right. How does she have no say in this if she's doing his assessment? Why was that not what would you say you do here? Yeah, so

But but he's out now he's out of the military So he hauls ass in his Volkswagen bug to go see Sharon Course right because I guess they did not know at this point in cinematic history that movies were supposed to have plots? I don't know. No. I think that came later. Yeah.

So, but then we get a long montage of them spending time together down by the docks. Oh, yeah. We get a montage of like kind of date stuff, them doing stuff by the docks. Those things, by the way, in the montage are tag. He like runs out and something pushes her, by the way, in the montage are tag. He like runs out, pushes her, scares the shit out of her. Also hat fights. He like steals her hat for a while and she's like noticeably pissed. And the airplane baby food thing, like she feeds him, she's like, right into the hangar. Yeah.

Is that not what y'all do on on your dates? Yeah, right. Right. Again, the homeschooled incel that wrote this thing. Yeah, I heard Anna Anne's hand once. You tried to bite it too fast and you didn't like the airplane. Get all the way. I like food. No, I get it. I get it. So, OK't you? You didn't let the airplane get all the way in the hangar. I like food. Yeah. No, I get it.

I get it. So, okay. But eventually the date montage resolves on Raoul proposing and she's like, oh, sorry. No, you're not even the right religion. Right. And okay. I've got to ask at this point, Sharon, how did this not come to your attention sooner? We've had this whole montage of, you know, he's putting the airplane food

in your mouth and everything and like this did not occur to you before the proposal. What were we doing all that time? Or during the 13 fucking months he was in Vietnam. Right. This just now came up. Just right this minute. He's been an atheist Kung Fu biker the whole time. You knew this. Right. Nothing changed. Well, but then he's like well, but I am Christian Well, you think I am Jewish and she's like no, but you're not Christian enough. He's like what I'm supposed to stay awake at the church, too

No one said that you said come to church. Right? I came to fucking church. Yeah. Yeah, not a true Scotsman. I don't know And then I wrote my notes, just my cue for the next scene was just 80-ness distilled to its essence, right? Because we see big hair taken on aerobics class. Ha ha ha, okay. This was excellent, this was almost my best worst. So we see Sharon at the like quintessential 80s

aerobics ballet class thing. She's doing like you know the Jane Fonda thing. Yeah. But it's a sad moment for her in the movie. So she's doing Jane Fonda aerobics in a snip. Yes. And it was fucking hilarious. Just like hmm and okay. Yeah. And we watch an absurd amount of this. We watch her whole fucking workout. But afterwards she gets in a car with, with Lori, her friend from earlier, and she's real sad and Lori's like, Hey, what's wrong? And she says, I'm pregnant.

And I'm like, Oh, this is going to be one of those pro abortion movies that doesn't realize it's a pro abortion movie. Yeah. Seriously. I was like, are you switching to a kung-fu abortion movie right now? Because, like, I'm on board depending on how you pull this off at the end. Right, if you do the leg sweep correctly, you can't defeat the fetus. But you gotta be really careful to just go over the fetus and not over her, otherwise you're gonna kill everyone. Right, right.

You don't have any splash damage or anything. Alright well now I'm fucking sad. Uterus control. So yeah, so now she's gonna have to marry the hyper violent guy and that means I'm depressed about where we're going and I need a break. But first let me give act 3 the hard sell. Will this terrible human physically abuse his wife? Will he psychologically abuse his wife? Will he emotionally abuse his wife? Yeah this is more of a trigger warning than a

hard sell sorry but yes yes and yes but stick around anyway for the he remains a piece of shit throughout conclusion of Fury to Freedom. Hey Noah, what you making there? A gift from my mom for Mother's Day. You're giving her a pamphlet? No, it's a coupon book, see? Okay, this coupon entitles bearer to one two quo-kwe fallacy on books. See? Okay. This coupon entitles bearer to one to

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And it's recommended by Fast Company, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and high-end home design publications. Wow. Well, that sounds way better than making a whole coupon book or letting my mom get away with a two-po-quay fallacy, actually. But can I afford it? Well, Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting

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Oh man. Too quoque. Lu Lu Lu, doing kung fu stuff. Kung fu stuff is my favorite stuff. Lu Lu Lu. Hey man, you got any change? Fuck you, make me. Well, I was just asking for change.

You don't have to give it to me. I'll fight you for it. How about that? Okay. Yeah, fine. I guess we can fight for it. Alright, well you should be aware that I know Kung Fu. Cool!

Alright, let's go. It's time to fight! Wait, wait, wait! Time out! Time out? Yes, yes, yes. I called time. Respect the T. Before we start... Just give me a second.

Okay, yeah, before we start, what are the rules? The rules? I don't know, man. You're the one who baited into a fight. Alright, well, here's what we're gonna do. You only get punches, and I only get kicks. You good with that? Yeah, fine. And you have to start by coming at me, um, like this. You have to come at me like this. I'm sorry, like this? No, no, no, like this.

Like that, like this. Got it. Like this like like that like this got it and and and if I kick over your head I Win Why would you kick over my head? It's none of your business, but that's a rule too. Yeah. All right man. Great So okay quick review here. That's me punches you kicks. I come at you like this and if you kick over my head you win Your money from yourself perp. Yes. Perfect. Wait, sorry just one more quick thing. Um Is your friend over there wearing a?

Like a Roman soldier helmet. Yeah, it's that's his thing Yeah, don't worry about it. It's just cardboard. It won't hurt. Alright, alright, cool. And you have to fight me one at a time. Yeah, one at a time. Deal. Alright, alright. I'll count it down from three and then you come at me like this.

Like this, like this, yes, I got it. Okay, okay. One, two, three. Ah! Fuck! It broke my fucking nose! What the fuck? One... Two... Three. AHHHH! Fuck! It broke my fucking nose! What the fuck?

So, give me your loose change? Fine! Here, just take it! Thank you? Ugh! It hurts so bad! Your dick! This was your idea! And we're back for still more of this shit.

We're going to rejoin Sharon and a different friend, I think, on a porn set. I don't know. There's cloth, everything around them. I don't even fucking know. But yeah, but they need to do she's talking about the pregnancy and how this is going to ruin her life Because she's not allowed to just end this right. It's not clear why The pregnancy not her life is I think

Got it. Okay that that escalated quickly But she was saying my life is over oh no. But it seems like the problem is just that they're not married. Like this is giving real, you know, teen pregnancy angst. But again, these people are like in their forties by now. Right. Well, yeah, there's that undercuts it a bit. So, but they pray and she's like, God, I know I'm not allowed to have an abortion. I'm sorry for fucking. Yeah. Actually, they pray for forgiveness because of the sex with the Kung Fu atheist. Yeah. And then we get a quick clip of their shotgun wedding. You know, they run out to

the just married car. They get rice thrown at them. We're happy for them. Oh, it seemed dangerous to me. It is. It's not safe. It's not good for the birds and wildlife to have that on the sidewalk. Also it's bad for the person you hit in the eye with the rice. That's exactly, exactly.

Also that. Right. That's who I was really worried about. But yes, also birds. Yeah. We actually get like a, my eye! It's awesome. So fast. So, but now, but then the baby is born and we denote that by with crying, right? There's,

there's lots of crying and this, this cut to the, the porch steps or something into their house. And I'm sorry, what in the ever loving hell is that dog puppet thing playing on the porch steps? Like Like, what is that? Someone help explain. If the rest of the movie was like them trying to remove the curse of that thing, yeah. Right! Why else would you show it to us?

So, but then, okay, so then we cut to Raul and he's hard at work at the supermarket checking out a bunch of hotties. I had to write in all caps, 80s hair when we met Wendy. Yeah. Wendy is the quintessential 80s hot lady for him to flirt with even though he's married now. Yeah. And she just, she comes, he's, he's checking out at the grocery store. That's his job. And she walks up and she's like, Hi, I'm Wendy. I am buying nothing but

whipped cream. Would you bring this up? And actually is all she has. Oh, I got it. I thought that was just a joke. That's amazing. So, and of course he doesn't know how cashiering works. So he opens the till and then he goes, that'll be $8 and 30 cents or whatever. And then this part just really gets me.

She calls him Raul because he probably has a name tag on and she can read and then he corrects her again. It's like no, it's Raul. There is no explanation for this in this entire movie. 100% Raul Reeves in real life was the script supervisor and he was furious at every moment when Raoul was said wrong. That's really the fury. The main character gets Wendy's number because she pays with a check for $8.37 and he's like,

is your number on it? And she's like, yeah. So he establishes a date with this person and then she's like, okay, bye, Raoul. And he corrects her pronunciation angrily because Raoul Reeves, the real guy was like, correct it, correct it. And that's the end of the scene. I would have corrected. No one can say that. It's Raoul. Yeah. So now Wendy is only the first of the, well, I guess unless we count Sharon and Laurie, she's the first woman that'll throw herself at Raoul as this movie goes.

You can take a drink every time one does and, and be quite inebriated by the end of this. When she says, she's the first woman that will throw herself at at rel as this movie goes. You can take a drink every time one does and be quite inebriated by the end of this. She's like, is a check okay? I was like, imagine explaining this fucking movie to a 15 year old. A check. Okay. Women did not yet have the right to have a credit card at this moment. Oh my God. In the setting of the movie. Jesus Christ. Because I think this is 1973, I think is the actual answer to that question.

The setting, yeah, okay, alright, yeah. The movie was made in like 85, I think. But in the 70s, no, that's true. You've got to get a man to sign off on your bank account. Yep. Terrifying. Wow. So, okay, so he gets...

They fail the Bechdel test again for that, right? That counts as another challenge. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Extra failure. Negative points. Yeah, yeah. They have to take this course again next semester. So okay, so now he gets home and Sharon's complaining because he got home too late and

she also notices that he's not wearing his wedding ring. And his explanation is that it gets stuck on the till at his highly demanding grocery store job. What gets stuck on the till? How would that happen? What crazy tragic farce slapstick mishap has to happen for you? I'm stuck in the till Somebody's gonna get me out with the jaws of life. This is pre-o she'll y'all

What are you the first half of a fucking infomercial over here So he's like, oh, yeah No, here's a bad boy true story My wedding ring was eaten by a dog very shortly after my wife and I got married. The fact that my marriage managed to survive me explaining that to her still amazes me to this day. Your wedding ring and your homework were the same excuse. Yes.

Wow. I'm going to be honest, I'm struggling to believe that story. I want to believe you. I know, but the only reason that you can believe me and the only reason that she believes me is because I would have made up a better lie. Right? Like there's no way that's the lie I would have gone with. I can't take the wedding ring test. My grandpa died again. I mean, did it ever, you know, come back out of the dog? Not that I'm aware of. It's entirely possible since the dog's owner pawned it, but I, yeah, I was

never made aware of that. But yeah, so, but she's telling him that she needs him to go to church with her, God damn it, on Sundays. But damn it, Sundays is his Kung Fu day. And that's the only day you can do Kung Fu. I don't know if you know this, but you can only do Kung Fu on Sundays. It's the law. It's so tragic. She actually says, like, we don't have money for food for our kids that we have like our new kids and he's like I can't stop doing kung fu on Sundays. I almost have my purple belt. Whatever. I have to go. Yes, right.

Yeah. Also, like where did this other kid come from? Why is there a four-year-old now also in addition to the baby? When did this happen? Was there a montage that we missed? Did she have this kid like before they graduated high school? I feel like maybe that part of the montage had to be pulled out by the Dove Foundation's request or something. Yeah, something like that. Okay, so then we cut to him at Kung Fu practice, but he's not focused He's focused too much on his family and not enough on his kung fu Apparently yeah, this appears to be an important lesson in kung fu. You remember slapjacks the game you would play Yeah, that's a big part of kung fu it turns clearly

I was great at that game. I bet you were good at that game to work you he threw a fucking awesome thinking I was I was a big fan of slapjacks. Yeah. So yeah, so they play slapjacks for a little while and he's like, you know, do better. And so he does better. And then the sound cutout on the first version of this that we found on YouTube and it did not fucking matter. No, it did not.

You did not miss anything. Yeah. I mean, racist music maybe. Kung Fu is supposed to be like, Hyah, hyah! And with no sound, it's actually pretty funny. Yeah, no, that's true. Because they're doing that complete silence.

Yeah. It was uncomfortable. So then, just because it's a pet peeve of mine, when people wake up from nightmares by sitting straight up, he does that. We see him remembering Vietnam and doing that physically impossible to do thing. Right. Don't you do that? If you ever have a nightmare, you wake up and just leap

straight out of bed. Yes. Hinging at the hips. Yes. But okay, I point this out A, because this is my pet peeve and I have to kind of have to point it out. But B, because earlier in the movie, when he was like flashing back to all his Vietnam shit, he flashed back to this scene that had not yet happened. Right? That's the quality of filmmaking we're working with. The movie's in a simulation and it all makes sense. Right, yeah.

It's going backwards and forwards in time. Those were tacky on emissions. So, okay. time. Those were tacky on emissions. So OK. So sometime later, he and Sharon are looking over some old photographs. Right. I wrote my notes. Guys, what the fuck is this movie about at this point? And the movie was like, I have no idea.

I don't know. Keep watching. We'll try to figure it out. No one knows. You think for a minute that it's going to be about domestic abuse and getting mental health care for people who need it. But guess what? That is not where this goes. No, no, no. It goes in a much darker direction.

Called Christianity. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. So he's like, hey, look at these pictures of me with my old girlfriends. And she's like, oh, well, you know, I just happened to have a whole book of pictures with me of me with my old boyfriends in this holster right here. It's like, wow, it's weird that you had that so so quickly. You have that ready, huh? And at this point, Raul becomes just livid. He's like he's about to kung fu punch the pictures of her.

Yeah. Right. I actually wrote that down and then he rips the page. Yes. Right. I was actually really close. I was joking. Well, and she tries her fucking best, right. Because he tears up the pictures and she's like, well, then I'll tear up your pictures of you and your old girlfriends. And then he hits her. Yeah. And that's not fucking funny. No, that took a turn.

Everything was was fine. Then it was a little bit weird. We were all having fun with our little jokes. Yeah. And then we took a turn for no apparent reason. Yeah. So the next day we've got her at the table, her friend, Laurie comes in to go shopping and sees that she's been, you know, they had the shit beat out of her.

Yeah. Just really sad. The only positive for me was like, my one thought was, okay, if Sharon learns kung fu and beats the fuck out of Raul with a crane kick or something, this is my favorite move. She beats Mr. Miyagi at some point, yeah. Yeah. Right, like we saw her earlier doing ballet.

We know she has the flexibility to defeat him. Oh my God, she can kick really high. Yes, she can win at the Kung Fu kicks. She can joust ostrich her. Yes, yes, yes. She can. Oh, I love it. We need to make a sequel, guys. The path is clear. So, okay. So then we cut to like, and by the way, we're just kind of done with this, right? We're not going to revisit this. We're not going to dwell on this at all. We're going to move on to the next plot point, which is him getting his black belt at the fucking standing room only karate show.

What even was that? I was like, are we in Vegas? Is this a magician show? I am not familiar with this ceremony. It had the vibes of like a big deal of like a Celine Dion concert or something. Like a residency for this stupid little Kung Fu Kata dance that he's doing. Yeah, so he does his Kata and whatever, I guess I had this Kata in Kung Fu. Or maybe it is, I don't fucking know.

But anyway, he does this very unimpressive martial arts thing and it's weird that they needed a stunt man to do it, right, because he's in ninja mask the whole time. Right, it's so bad that you're like, well, why didn't you just get somebody who was really impressive at this or did they not get good at this until the 90s? It's the best, I think they did maybe get somebody like that

but just like D-list level that. That, right. Because then they had to switch to shadows for almost the whole thing. maybe get somebody like that, but just like D-list level that. Because then they had to switch to shadows for almost the whole thing. Where the expert, maybe just as shadows, the expert can look like an expert. And we get to see Raul, I guess, allegedly beating up a bunch of ninjas in shadow form. Like he's Steven Seagal in all those Steven Seagal videos of like how Aikido is real, but it's definitely not Yeah, right. No, exactly. This is how they they assess him. Yeah, if you can defeat the shadows you pass And the crowd goes buck wild

Officially a master of the martial arts the marital arts not so much but the martial arts he's got yes squiggly blue line I did mean marital arts, not so much, but the martial arts he's got. Yes, squiggly blue line. I did mean marital arts. Fuck you. And do you get a scroll at that point? Yes. Yeah. If you look at the scroll, it's just, it's reflective. You just see yourself in it.

You don't understand that until Act three. But yes, that is how it works. He gets handed the actual scroll because now he's a kung fu master and he takes off his mask with a giant smile like he just graduated college. Like he got a, you know, a master's of kung fu degree and he's excited, fist pumping. Oh, that's what it is. It's his fucking, it's his kung fu diploma. That's what, that's what they hand probably.

Yeah. So, okay. So, but then he's driving home. His wife is being very supportive because he'll probably fucking hit her if she isn't. And he tells her at this point, he's like, well, this morning I signed a lease on my own Kung Fu studio. Fucking yikes. Like I bought some Bitcoin and started a band and I put the down payment on the band's studio. Like, babe, I signed a lease for my own Kung Fu studio that everyone who ever got divorced said that and then very soon after became divorced. Leading cause of divorce. Yes, exactly.

I know some people that this happened to. It did not help the marriage. How's the Kung Fu studio doing? Are they like crushing it? No. No? No, they're not. None of that worked out.

And she's like, well, if you... But now you'll have two jobs. She'll always be away from home. And I'm like, are you sure you don't want him always away from fucking home? Right. You might be safer. Yeah. And then she goes, you're not even trying to go to church with me.

And I'm like, I'd love to see trying and failing to go to a place. Like, I don't know how that, whether it keeps getting into car accidents on the way. Right. What's happening? What's stopping him? I tell you what, I bet it's not the Kung Fu. I bet that's not the reason he's not able to make it to church. I'm just guessing here. Just him walking in place next to a church like a side scroller video game. I wrote my notes as like, I feel like this movie should just be playing on a loop in

the waiting room at abortion clinics. Right? In case you were having second thoughts. Yeah, instead of the required sonogram Christian bullshit. Yes, exactly. This is the blue state version of the sonogram. If you decide to keep the baby, you have to watch this movie. Congratulations end of pregnancy center instead of a crisis.

Yeah, there you go. Yeah. So, okay. And I guess now her parents are coming to visit the kid or whatever. He's too busy teaching Kung Fu to be part of the grandparent visit. Right. Which I mean, you know, could it be that he just doesn't like them or they have never liked him? I mean, yeah, like they did forbid their daughter from dating him because he wasn't the right religion.

So I guess it would be reasonable. Oh, and then one of his students is hot for teacher, a second beautiful woman throwing herself at him. Oh yeah, he just, you know, he's trying, but you know, he just, he just can't help it that all of the beautiful women throw themselves at him. Yeah. Well, cause all of these beautiful women just can't. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

It's hard to defend against so many, even when you know Kung Fu. Yeah. Right. Right. That leg sweep doesn't stop everything. Can you help me get out of this ghee made of whipped cream by any chance? Oh, yeah. Right. Right. So could you give me a ride dot dot dot home? Yeah. But then we see him. He's getting home to his family, but too late, the in-laws are already leaving. He missed the trip.

So unfortunate. Yeah. I'm sure that was not intentional. So, and then we get, so we've seen a bunch of these. I would imagine this is probably a first for you, Kara, but Heath and I have seen this a thousand fucking times where Christians have to write a part of their own movie where somebody is complaining about Christians and they don't know what we complain about them about, right?

It's never these self-righteous pricks or these like hypocrites or anything like that. It's always going to be something stupid. So he's like, why are your parents always so huggy all the time? I always wanted to hug people and love people so much. I'm not exaggerating. He uses the word huggy. That's what he's mad about. Okay, I thought this part was kind of accurate.

Some parents are like. Yeah! Yeah! But usually it's not. Why are you Christians always so humble and why are your penises always such a good size? Yeah, right, right. It's never anything that you could possibly reflect on You Christians always so humble and why are your penis is always such a good size? It's never anything that you could possibly reflect on and say oh, yeah Okay, I can see how that would be irritated to someone that wasn't a part of our community. No, no, no, it's I was a hundred percent

Perfect and everything I did was wonderful and that makes them mad because they hate good things Yes, cuz they hate goodness so much. Hey, let me tell you something. As somebody who just recently came back from American Atheist Convention, atheists love to fucking hug, okay? Right. Turns out that's a thing people do. It's not like just one religious tradition. Oh, I'm sorry. Do y'all have love? I would be less abusive if I had answers about the universe in a book of some sort. But I can't find one because I'm an atheist.

If only we knew how to human. But yeah, but he but he yells at her and he's like crazy, abusive, and then she tries to get up to go to church and he throws her down That's a very very uncomfortable scene. Don't worry. He will apologize to an imaginary carpenter at some point So he'll he'll be redeemed for all of this but wolf man It's he threatens to kill her if she leaves him at this point in front of the kids kids sitting right there. Ah Yeah Oh

And I remember looking up this movie online and I was trying to find like reviews of it and things. And of course, there are none on any of the places that you would normally go to look for reviews of movies because no like sensible people have ever watched this movie on purpose. What self-respecting person would watch this fucking movie and do a review of it? Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. Right. But I went onto this one site that was like the producers of this film or something like that where they rate these kind of films and rather than rating them on things like, you

know, quality, they had these other metrics that were like, you know, is it too violent? You know, is there older language, et cetera, et cetera. And it had a marking that was kind of middle of the road for violence, but then it had a little explanation that was like, there's some violence, but don't worry. None of it is gratuitous and it's all, you know, part of a wholesome message. And I'm watching this and I'm like, what? This is like legitimate trigger warning type shit, right? Like this was very uncomfortable to watch.

Wow. So Dove, man, the one time Dove actually could have helped a motherfucker out, they didn't. Wow. That was it. It was Dove that did this writing. And I'm like, okay, y'all think this is okay for kids. So this is wholesome. Okay.

Does that say Goldilocks zone for violence? For domestic violence? Ah! You have a little icon for that. That's inappropriate. Yeah. So, wow. So, so Sharon is packing to leave good, which this homicidal movie will decide is not the right answer.

Right. So she goes, she leaves and then we cut to Raoul and he's, he's with a different beautiful woman that no doubt threw herself at him Right. Yeah, it's nothing he's doing. He it's not him. It's them. Yes, exactly So he's like, hey, why don't you go and check into this Roach Motel for us real quick? I'll be right along I just need to make a phone call real quick So he calls home and nobody answers Straight to murder-suicide plan. Yep. No answer So he calls home and nobody answers.

Straight to murder suicide plan. Yep. No answer immediately escalates to that. It was to murder. So if she had been taking a long shit, he would have shown up at the house, he would have had the shotgun and he would have like, Oh, right. Poop. I forgot about that.

Right. And like, so his plan is, okay, he flies into this murderous rage because he called and she didn't answer, assuming that she's not at the house. So where does he go to go and do his murderous deeds? To the house, to the place where he just confirmed he doesn't think she is located. The only place he knows she isn't.

Didn't this guy get like combat training? I mean, I... Not great. This is why we lost the war right here. Right. I think this might be it. Toilet paper on your shoe? How many dicks did you suck in that bathroom to get toilet?

Oh, you were taking a long shit. You were taking a long shit. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, sorry. So, but he gets home, nobody's there, so he goes in and he gets his shotgun. This is the part from the beginning, right? We've caught up with the cold open. Now, when we saw this the first time around, we didn't realize that there was like a one

year old and a four year old that lived in this home. Right. Where he's just got a shotgun sitting on the ground in a closet and then just fucking the shotgun shells at fucking four year old eye level in a drawer in an unlocked drawer. Yeah, this is safe. Truly terrifying. How did anybody live through the 80s? How did any of us make it through the fucking 80s? I don't know how any of us are still here.

I truly I think about this all the time. How did we survive this long as a species? I truly do not know. And I'm an anthropologist So yes, he loads his shotgun and then he starts walking back and forth Pacing the living room like he's a fucking video game guard right And but he turns on the TV and damn it if there isn't some Jesus stuff on the TV y'all

Okay, the moment of turning on the TV I laughed at too because he's like his plan he's in a complete insane rage planning to do a murder Suicide of his entire family right with a shotgun. Yeah Yeah, so he like goes around the house smashing stuff for a second. Then he's like, all right waiting to do the murder suicide Could be a while Maybe I'll catch a little TV stuff for a second, then he's like, all right, waiting to do the murder suicide. Could be a while. Maybe I'll catch a little TV. They don't have a candy. Televangelism exposition channel is.

Yeah, right. Luckily for us, it wasn't fucking Wheel of Fortune. It was the god of the universe, redeeming people through the death of his son Which which works out great for the plot? It sure does how fortunate that Jimmy Swaggart came on the TV or whoever it was the guy that sells colloidal silver to people Good thing he came on when he did because if it had been the ShamWow guy, this guy would just be in debt on microfiber towels and sponges at this point rather than saved. Those counters would have been just spotless. Those vinyl counters, faux vinyl. It still would have been a good ending.

Yeah. No, right. Right. Yeah, exactly. One way or the other, he was redeemed. Yeah. But then he's open. He's watching that guy talk about God's love. And so now he's going to pray weepily third time he tries for an act, but not, as it learned in the interim. God loves me. I am going to call in the next 10 minutes about the God sham while thing. It's easy.

And I could use a bucket of dried mashed potatoes. It's in your wallet, remember? Yeah, right. What a call back. He pulls out a baker bucket from his back. It was here all along. Some colloidal silver, yeah. So yeah, but then he asked Jesus, he says, Jesus, make yourself real to me. And I'm like, can you do that? Can you pray to God for God to exist?

I don't think you're allowed to do that. That's like wishing for more wishes or something. don't think you're allowed to do that. That's like wishing for more wishes or something. There's got to be a rule against that. But no, I mean, there would be if there was a God that existed. Well, right, right. Oh, yeah, exactly. I guess you can pray to God for anything. It seems so. Yeah. So, but then he's like, he's like, I don't want to shoot and kill my family anymore. So he But then he's like, he's like, I don't want to shoot and kill my family anymore. So he lays the shotgun down on the ground.

It's just a living room where his kids play. I mean, you'd think you'd unload it, but he just lays it down on the ground and he goes out and he's got to go find his wife. I'm just going to set this down under an anvil that I have strung up here. But now he's got to hunt down the person he threatened to murder earlier in the day and tell her the good news. Right. So he checks the gas station and the other gas station. So where else would anyone be? I don't know. He doesn't know either. Also, why is he on first name basis with everybody at the gas

stations? Like how much gas are you blowing through back in 1985? Right? Well, that that fiat, whatever the fuck. Oh, yeah. No, that's why I was through some gas. That's true. So, yeah. But then after he tries both of the gas stations in town, he tries her parents place and that's where she is because fucking duh. And so we get this long moment where he's on the porch, like knocking on

the door, yelling for her to let him in and she's like not letting him in. Yeah. Yeah, that was probably a good decision. You would think, right, she's like, God grant me wisdom. I'm like, well, you got the fuck out of here and you're not opening the door. So like so far, so good. Yeah. Right? He actually, he's supposed to be like a good guy now, right? Like yeah, he's ready to apologize to the inside of his head. Yeah. Oh, yeah Nonetheless, he is outside of this door and he actually yells through the door

I could kick through a door with kung fu right now if I want to it's well established that my kicks can go through a door That's a really good reason to open the door for someone who's trying to murder you. Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah, right, right. I'm gonna kick over it! No! That doesn't make any sense. Will you crack it a little bit so technically I can be able to kick over it? Ow! So... Hurt myself real bad.

It's a two-story house. Oh, God. If I can't huff and puff that much. So, but he yells that and she finally, she opens the door crack and he smiles at her. He goes, I'm born again. And she slams the door again. And I love her for it. Yes. Good job, Sharon. She eventually relents, but her instinct is correct. God did give her that wisdom.

Yeah, she just didn't use it. She did not. She did not know the tone shift here from Raoul was insane. Yeah. So again, he's supposed to be reborn, but then he yells about kicking through the door. Finally she opens the door and it goes from like, okay, he's in murder suicide mode straight to like, I'm born again. Like you're watching a mood dang in a little video is the smile on his face.

Right. And so, okay, but now it's time for us to see him the smile on his face. Right. And so, okay. But now it's time for us to see him completely transformed by his faith, right? So first we see Sharon waking up. Which was a little bit surprising at first. I thought that we had taken another turn in this film and we were seeing some kind of like a sex scene or something. Yeah, thank you! The way she was waking up all like, sexily.

It felt like definitely they cut straight to like, oh well he's a born again Christian and now Sharon is getting some great mouth stuff. Yeah right, right now he's a more generous lover. Yeah. Yeah, no but I didn't want to inject that. I'm glad Kara that you're the one who broke that one. He had to be, he's like, all of us thought that.

And I was just like, I don't want to sexualize just waking up, but yes. I was like, this doesn't track though. Christianity is pretty sure it's gay to give your wife mouth stuff I'm pretty sure Right turns out that that is not what was happening. Yeah, no Well if she enjoys it yes, yeah Then but when she goes out and we catch it. She goes out and he's doing Bible study, early morning Bible study, but he's sitting at the

couch, but not on the couch. He's like, he's crouched down in front of the couch using the couch like a little table to hold up his Bible. Why wouldn't you just sit on the couch? Yeah. Couches are confusing. Shut up. It's hard to use all this furniture. The house is scary.

The countertops were weird. We we lay down on bathroom floors. We don't know what we're doing with this. No, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, we've established this. Yeah. So but yeah, but we get a montage and now he's a great dad, right? He's playing with the kids and he's saying grace and he wants to turn his abusive dad Christian now.

Right. Because, you know, the only thing that can induce someone to love their kids is suddenly getting Jesus. People who are not Christians don't care for their children, it turns out. They're fucking kids. Yep. Eli hates his fucking kid. Yeah, I get it. I get it

So then okay, so now he's gonna go talk to his alcoholic dad and try to get him to love Jesus, right? We're gonna get that scene. I was so mad. I was like, oh, he's gonna confront his shitty abusive dad No, no confrontation. Just share in the good news about Jesus Christ. Yeah, the humble carpenter Yep, he goes he goes dad It's it's kind of hard to explain. And I'm like, I read a whole C.S. Lewis book about it and yeah, he never managed it. He's a much better writer than these guys. So and then he apologizes to his dad.

I was so mad. Oh, my goodness. It's almost like, well, if only Raoul had been a better son, his dad wouldn't have abused his entire family. Oh wait, that is actually the opposite of how real life works. Yeah. But that's literally what they're doing. But that's what they're saying, right? He's asking for forgiveness from the abusive debt, like for being too lippy. He's asking for forgiveness. That's the implication for not being a better son is what he said. Jesus.

I'm sorry I kicked that chair on the way out. That one. Or should have at least done it more manly. So then we cut back over to Cobra Kai, right? Class is getting started, but he has to make an announcement and tell the whole class he's Christian now. Because this is very relevant to practicing Kung Fu. You gotta be the right religion or you won't know which hell to kick them into, I guess.

Yeah. He goes, the Bible is the world's number one bestseller. And I'm like, well, if you count the people who keep giving it to people who don't want it, I mean, I don't think that's that's like, what's his name? This like Trump's son got a bestseller. No, that doesn't count. Yeah. So I believe this is a bandwagon fallacy just because a lot of people read this book

doesn't mean things that are inside of it are valid. Yeah. You know what else sold a lot of copies is the fucking secret. Yeah, right. Right. If this is the best selling point you have on this book, I remain unconvinced. Right. Yeah. Also, Christian Kung Fu is like the theme of his dojo now. I guess.

That's just Jesus getting slapped in the face and then getting slapped in the face and then getting slapped in the face. Over and over. Just turning cheeks. E. Honda's like, I love this guy. Yeah. Great. So, but oh, and then he's like, Sharon is in our class now too. My lovely wife and the side chick, the one that was throwing herself at him earlier,

she gives him the fucking distracted boyfriend meme look at this point, which was lovely. But apparently now it's Kung Fu class, but if you stick around afterwards, there's Bible study. Yeah. And you got to wonder, are they charging for that? Are the students having to pay extra now? Because I bet that is not what they signed up for. Yeah.

I don't know. In some states, you have to pay for that. I think the law is like Oklahoma has to pay for this part. Yeah, the Supreme Court's going to make us all pay for that pretty soon. By the time this episode comes out, maybe. Cool. So then we cut to him pulling up at his old high school, right? He's there to see his principal.

And there's a great moment where the secretary realizes who he is and she jumps back from him. I'm like, yeah. He earned it. Yeah, he just shows up and he's like, yeah, I'd like to tie up a loose end in my character arc. Is the principal here by any chance? Yes! Right, right. Apparently, Getting Born Again is like a 12-step program and you got to go do some stuff like

this. Right, right. Exactly. Because he's like, hey, principal, I know I was a tough guy back in the day, but I found Jesus. Is it okay if I just go and tell all the kids which religion to be in your public school? And they agree. And he's like, well, yeah. Yeah. Obviously, that's fine. Let the wife beat her Christianized to public school kids.

Obviously. We got to Sharon real quick praying that he'll do a good job Christianizing all the public school kids, right? Right, because he needs so much encouragement. He needs supernatural powers to go talk to people at the school where he has already been many times previously and has had zero issue running his mouth to anybody he wanted to before.

And now he needs supernatural help to do this. Lord, Raul needs help with a really good to anybody he wanted to before. Right. Now he needs supernatural help to do this. Okay. Raoul needs help with a really good First Amendment violation. We need a great one. Violate the shit out of them. For this to work out. So yeah. So, but then it's not even like, they don't even like bring the kids in for an assembly.

He just goes out into the quad and starts yelling a sermon at all the kids. It's so good. He's doing the cool guy thing, right? Yeah. Yo, listen up. I'm a ruffian just like you rapscallions, but for Christ. They get so excited. Where is Officer John when we need him? Yeah. There is a random dude yelling at kids in the courtyard at the school like Officer John.

It's your moment to shine. Right. Nowhere to be found. So good. There's this. I love this. This is such a silly moment to focus in on. But he goes like, look, I know what it's like to have troubles. You have troubles with school, with parents, with drugs. And when he says with drugs, they close up on one girl who's like, what? You know, let's just wait. Why? It's not a drug problem. I don't.

More of a solution. But yeah, this big like finale message that they're getting to, this is the beginning of it is like, he gets Jesus got Riz skibbidy fire. No cap. Yeah. He goes, you know, come on, who's man enough for a woman enough to follow Jesus? What are you guys a bunch of chickens? And that motivates like 90% of the kids.

Well, I'm going to change religions now. First of all, like most of those kids would just be fucking Christian. They'd be like, yeah, man, it's the 80s in America. Right? Right. Obviously, that's our religion. Right. I love how they act like they're letting people know about Jesus for the first time.

Dude, everyone here knows about Jesus. Right. Yeah. Even the Hindu kid. They do this in so many movies. This is like a big trope of like, wait, I'm sorry, just say it back one more time. I'm going to write it down. J-S-U-S-C-R-I-S-T-A.

Jesus Christ. Got it. That's an agent. Christ. Christ. Christ. Jesus Christ. I got it.

I got it. Yeah. So, but yeah, but and then the principal watches out the windows like, wow, he really did make Christians out of all of those kids. Who were, you know, Buddhist before this. Right. Yes. Yeah. A bunch of heathens and Muslims out there before. God damn, he's good.

He's got Riz. Yeah. That son of a bitch did it. All right. So and now we're in some different room where he's sharing the gospel with different people. And Officer John's like, hey, I wonder what's going on late that night at this Kung Fu studio on my route. I should hop in and check it out. Right. So he steps in and and Raul is doing his little sermon and he goes, this is this

amazing moment where he goes, you know, I before I found Jesus, I used to cheat on my wife all the time. And we cut to Sharon looking like she's hearing this for the first time and trying to be cool about it. It's rough. Right. Yeah. Everybody cringes. And then very next sentence from Raul. I was going to do a murder suicide in my family.

I should also add that. And then like this crowd of extras has to try to cringe harder in the acting notes. Yeah. And that's impossible. So they've been cringing the whole time they've been involved in this film. Hey guys, as soon as I saw your jacket, I cringed. Okay.

It's cultural appropriation to anyone. But then, and then he's like, he's telling this whole story. He's like, but I was about to murder my wife. And then I turned on the TV and luckily it was not a ShamWow commercial. It was, it was Jesus. Right. It's a miracle. And he also he describes in his little sermon he describes Jesus as quote the central figure of the human race. I would love to know how we have determined that. Right?

What do you mean by that? I don't feel like China got a vote. Like median? So powerfully split time in half. All right. He's average. He's the fucking Peoria of humans. I don't know. Okay. But then he's like, you know, but Jesus is you, you should be Jesus. And who wants to come up and do an altar call?

Right. And then we see that in the back of this room is Abused Dad. Yeah. Who had also never heard of Jesus before this day. Yep, apparently not, yeah. And we get to watch Raul be like, Damn, do the altar call, go, come on.

Yeah, please. But he does, dad eventually gets up gets up yep and Raul hugs him even though he doesn't like huggy people and Everybody's like is that his dad or is this a gay thing? It's the 80s this matters, right? It's just a big hug with abusive dad. I was like, please sweep the leg sweep the leg Credits is the greatest ending of all time. That would have made this whole movie worthwhile. Oh, I don't know about worthwhile, but it would have been really fucking good. Yeah, right.

So then a title card comes up and it goes, Raul Reese is now a minister helping troubled teenagers in Southern California. His congregation has grown to several thousand. God, that's actually real. And I'm like, but that's it? Why make a movie a couple thousand? Whatever. That's nothing. I hate it so much. We made a movie about our podcast. We got more than a couple thousand. Yeah, it's a fair question. Like also also, I'm wondering, how did he not get arrested after this testimony?

I mean, this is the confession that Officer John has been waiting for this entire time. He's finally got him. Oh, you're right. He's like busted. If Officer John comes in, sweeps the leg, cuffs him. Oh, so good. Oh, right. He sweeps dad's leg and then Officer John comes in, as for the wife beating thing. That's still illegal. Yes. If you did tell Jesus you're good. Oh, right, he sweeps dad's leg and then Officer John comes in, it's for the wife beating thing.

That's still illegal. Yes. If you did tell Jesus you're sorry. Oh. Right, you're still both going to jail. Right, yeah, exactly. Both for beating your wives and then fucking porky pig, that's all folks is it.

Yeah, I love it. Yeah. I love it. He's an actual kung fu pastor now. He is? In real life. And I looked him up, I found a couple pictures, an early one. So it was like how it started, how it's going. Yeah, right. You can see why the ladies were throwing themselves at him here.

It's not great. He's doing like a big crouchy thing with Sai because he thinks he's Raphael and it's, he's like, you know, he's 30 or whatever. And then the other- He's much more of a Donatello. The other picture I found was him on the cover of real Kung Fu magazine magazine, real Kung Fu magazine. And all certainly not fake Kung Fu magazine.

No, no, that's a different publisher. And now he's 70 and he's not crouching down. He's doing, he's holding a sword as best he can in the down He's holding it down. Yes, exactly. It's got a little bit of back pain. It looks like yeah, he's doing this Yeah, I thought an actual video of him doing like two minutes of highlights of him actually doing wrist control like a Steven Seagal video It's fantastic. Yep. Yep. He does wrist control and elbow control. There's a sword bit at the end. We'll share what I will have Tim share it on all our stuff. So all right. Well, I have to say nothing about the experience of watching this movie was fun, except getting to hang out

with you at the end of it, Kara. So thank you so much for suffering alongside us this week. Well, thanks for having me. This was a lot of fun despite having to watch this movie. It's okay. I think it all came out in the wash and this has been a great time. Awesome. Awesome. And A, if you don't mind, could you remind our listeners where they can go?

If they'd like to hear some more from you? Absolutely. So you can find me over at Recovering From Religion. Just check us out at recoveringfromreligion.org. And you can join us every Monday night at 7 p.m. Central Time for our podcast, RFRx. It's live. You can join via the link to the Zoom meeting. Yeah, we're still on Zoom. We're working on it. But just go straight to our website and you can find us there. All right. And of course, you'll find that website linked on the show notes as well.

And well, that's going to do it for our review of Fury to Freedom. That's not going to do it for the episode just yet, because we still need to tantalize you for the next one. So, Heath, tell us what's on deck. Lucy just left a locked psych ward. Kimi is a Ugandan immigrant. Both teenagers begin college full of promise, but quickly succumb to a mysterious mental health crisis that threatens an entire Generation based on the New York Times best-selling book. We're gonna be watching

The coddling of the American mind. Oh my fucking god. It's the woke mind fire Jesus goddamn Christ. All right. So with that to look forward to, we're going to pick up some 505 to a merciful close. Once again, a huge thanks to Kara Griffin for all their help. Be sure to check out the show notes for links to their show and to recovering from religion in just general. They're an awesome charity and an at least equally huge thanks to all the Patreon donors to help make the show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a preps donation at Patreon dot com slash got offline. Thereby earning access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also help out a ton by leaving a five star review and by sharing the show on all your various social media

Platforms that have enjoyed this show be sure to check out our sibling shows to scale the gaiety a citation data D&D minus and this Capricot available wherever podcast live if you have questions comments or cinema suggestions you can get my god often We've is gmail.com Tim Robertson takes care of our social media our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnik And people drafts on Mars all the other music was written and performed by our already engineer Morgan Clark and was used with permission Thanks again for giving us a check of your life this week for Heath Enright, Neelay Bosnik, I'm No Illusions, promise to work hard to earn on the trick. Next week until then, we'll leave you with a Breakfast Club close. Without RAL's amazing Kung Fu, the U.S. went on to lose really bad in Vietnam.

Sharon later revealed that none of the kids were Rals. This did not come as a surprise to anyone given the timeline. Well, yeah, right. No, right. He was only in that class for a couple of days. Raul went on to still hit his wife. Guarantee it. I do too. Sorry. I don't want to end on a down note, but that's how it goes. That's how it goes. which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm at their hotline at 617-249-4255

or on their website at creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and the Thunderstorm LLC, copyright 2025, all rights reserved.