God Awful Movies - 523: Urine Good Health

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

This week, Dr. Alice and Marsh from the Skeptics with a K podcast deeply regret agreeing to do another episode without checking to see what movie they'd be reviewing first. Check out more from Dr. Alice on Skeptics with a K Check out more from Marsh on Skeptics with a K and the Know Rogan Experience. Come see us live in New Orleans on September 27th! If you’d like to make a per episode donation and get monthly bonus episodes, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Check out our other shows, The Scathing Atheist, The Skepticrat, Citation Needed, and D&D Minus. Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/ Report instances of harassment or abuse connected to this show to the Creator Accountability Network here: https://creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org/

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Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. And our expert here, the guy who's talking about the placebo effect, he goes, look, if it doesn't work physically, it works mentally. Yeah, he says like, even if it's just a placebo effect, who cares? It's like, we care because you're making them drink piss, you maniac.

Even if there was a placebo effect, it doesn't have to come from piss. Yeah, this is exactly what I wrote. He wrote, I'd rather people get a placebo than nothing. And I go, but some placebos aren't pee. Sometimes they're M&Ms, damn it. Sometimes they're M&Ms. God-awful movie. Movie.

Welcome back to the GAMCast, where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema because some weeks we could have made and the even worse choice. I'm your host, Eli Bosnick, and sitting 3,387 miles to my immediate left, is my good friend, co-host of the Skeptics with a K podcast,

co-organizer of QED, and co-host of the No Rogan Experience, Michael Marshall. Marsh, welcome back. Oh, it is great to be here, and thank you for letting me watch this film for making me watch this particular film. I love it when we cover Health Woo,

and this is right up there with the Health Woo that we've covered. It's a good one. And sitting an unknown number of kilometers to his northeast is also a co-host of The Skeptics for the K podcast and a co-organizer of QED, a returning guest masochist and person. I feel like we should have known way, way better before we asked her to watch a man be into his own mouth. Dr. Alice, thank you for coming back. Do I still get to come to QED? Hello, thank you so much for having me back.

Even if you did make me watch a man piss into his own mouth, it was a fun one to watch. I have discussed worse things on Skeptics with a K, so we're in good hands. It's okay. That's fair, yeah. And she was only going to be spending a Sunday evening's watching a guy piss into her own mouth anyway, at least this time she's doing it for a reason. Now you're doing it in low death. If anything, we've ruined the definition. All right. So tell us, Marsh, what will we be breaking down today? So we watched, you're in good health. It is the documentary following a bunch of, like, aspirational health influence

whose feel quite certain that every single ailment you might suffer from can be either prevented or cured if you just drink or wash in or inject yourself with your own urine. It's sort of a wish you were urea. Exactly. And Dr. Ellis, this is a tough one. How bad was this movie? Well, if you love science researchers, but also love torturing researchers,

which apparently you do because you keep inviting me back on the show, then you will love this movie. I watch the whole thing through twice. I still don't know who's being trolled by the producer, whether it's the people who are advocating for urine therapy or the many, many experts interviewed who seem utterly baffled, but endearingly excited that someone cares about their area of expertise, only to have to keep saying that,

Please don't drink urine. No, don't put it in your butt either. No, seriously, you shouldn't inject it. We don't need to do this. Yeah, we're going to get to Best Worsts in a second, and I have a good one. But truly, the variety of expert reactions, it's all the stages of grief.

It's like, look, here on God Alpha movies, when we do a bullshit documentary, we get one, maybe two scientists who are, like, taken out of context, and then you go on their old blog, and they're like, yeah, I realize I'm on the stupid, flat-erk thing. Like, I'm sorry, and check all the dumb.

This is a full bevy of nut jobs and very real experts. And they are, I'm not going to say they're given equal time, but they're given way more time than they usually are. Oh, yeah, they are. It's amazing. It's absolutely amazing. All right. So with that out of the way,

is there anything you'd like to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Yeah, so I'm going to go with best worst chiron's. Because we always talk. When we come to these kind of bullshit documentaries where someone's saying something that's really, really dangerous, and then someone else comes along and say, no, don't do that. We often pick up the fact that the kairons are bullshit.

They give people all sorts of ridiculous titles. They give them all sorts of like credentials that you can tell their like resume padding really fucking hard. And the classic one is always author, but it's just like you've written something. You put pen to paper at some point. So I was expecting that level of kairons. What we got was that,

but they spell author wrong. There's one of these people who is called an author, she's just called an author, and it's A-U-H-T-R, which I feel like the documentary makers are having a little dig about how legitimate her book is there. And then later they find an Ayurvedic practitioner,

and they misspell Ayurvedic in their Chiron for them as well. So yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, close enough. Dr. Alice. My best worst is the facial hair in this film. So this was released in the late 90s, but it's a lot of the people in it are academics and researchers from the late 90s. So they have some epic, incredible, astonishing moustaches that I love almost every single

one of them, but there is one very, very bad one that is just facial hair, just all the way around the lips, nowhere else, just all the way around the lips. Very odd. It is a perfect circle. It's an absolutely perfect circle. But for you to say there's only one particularly bad one, I reckon there is another guy getting off very lightly who I've labelled in my notes as sad John Hodgman. Because he looks like an incredibly sad John Hodgman with a massive kind of walrus mustache. Worthy of judge judgment, John Hodgman. And I tease this earlier, but I do have to talk about it. It might be one of my favorite things that's ever happened in the 523 episodes of our show.

I'm going to go with best worst, horrified expert who can't escape. We'll talk about it when we get to it. But I will think about him every day and his terrified, terrified eyes for the rest of my life. And I also have a best best, because we have the best best, somehow unexpected piss plate image in a movie about drinking piss. Because I was expecting a lot of piss drinking. And I was still surprised and then surprised at myself for being surprised when we see a man piss into his own mouth. Yeah.

So, yeah, we'll get there as well. We are. All right. Well, we have some yuck, yikes, and ew, we can't wait to get to. So we'll take a quick break, we'll be back in a bit with all the should have stated inside thought that is urine, good health. Okay, what about skin cancer? That kills nobody. So you could just say that. Eli, no. Hey, guys, what's the matter here? Eli's asking me to sell a bollocks cancer cure?

Eli, seriously, come on. I didn't say cure, I said alternative treatments. Okay, right. And what is this alternative treatment? Why, it's the fresh never-frozen meals from Factor, of course. What's Factor? Between busy schedules and summer plans, sometimes all I've got is a couple minutes. Factor helps me eat smarter with tasty, chef-prepared meals that are dietitian approved and delivered right to my door. And now, with more than 65 weekly meals made for how I live and what I like to eat,

I've got even more ways to fit in a real meal wherever the day takes me. Well, that sounds great, but have you actually tried it? I sure have. I was a Factor customer even before. before they became a sponsor. Now, I order Factor Meals almost every week for a quick dinner that fits my diet and tastes great. All right, Eli, I'm sold. Where do I sign up?

Eat Smart at FactorMeals.com slash awful 50 off and use code awful 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. That's code awful 50 off at FactorMeals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Offer only valid for new Factor. customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purchase. See, Eli, you don't need to lie about curing cancer to self-actor.

All right, but we could, though. Not legally. I didn't say legally. All right, everyone. I call together this meeting of the relatively harmless perverts who like to do pee stuff. Oh, ram-or-ra-ra-ra-wra-or-ra-all-all- Right, so minutes of last week's meeting. We hosted part 74 of our ongoing debate is squirt P, and our final judgment was, We're actually fine either way, to be honest.

It's fine, so, you know, good on that. So anyone got any new business? Yes. Greg, go for it. Right. Well, as you all know, I like P-Stuff. Oh, I mean, that's do we all correct. But I was wondering, what if we tricked other people into P-Stuff?

Trict them? Yes, tricked them. I think it would be quite nice. I mean, we can't just go around peeing on people, Greg. No, I know. I know. But let's say we told people with cancer and AIDS that drinking their pee would cure them. Well, then they'd do it to themselves, wouldn't they?

Right, but then wouldn't we turn a consensual and largely harmless activity into something actively deadly and dangerous? I suppose so, yeah? Yeah, it doesn't really feel worth it, Greg. Have I mentioned we might be able to convince them to inject themselves with pee as well. Well, in that case... Yeah, that honestly sounds great. Yeah, yeah, let's do that. And we're back. And look, podcast listener, we're not a clip show, especially not this early in the show.

But I need you to hear what plays exactly zero seconds after you hit the play button on this video. I go and pee and I take a little glass. And the first thing I do in the morning, I just drink it. I drink my urine every morning. I'll maybe put it on my skin on my face and all my hands. I bathe in my own urine every day. Whatever I've collected, because I always have these jars going, I just throw in my bath water.

I put it in droppers. I put it in my eyes, and my eyes are clear, my vision's clear. I put it in my nostrils. I have given myself enemas with urine. I carry my own little bottle. This contains a little bit of urine and a tablespoon of water. I take a couple of drops of this mixture, and I applied under my tongue. That's where we start.

That's where we start this movie, everybody. Yeah. There is absolutely no warm up on this at all. It's all piss all over, inside, everywhere around the body, right away immediately, bathing in it in the eyes, in the nostrils. Yes, he puts it in his eyes, leave the nostrils alone. Look, yeah. I'm not trying to convince people that pee can cure AIDS.

But if I was, I would wait at least one calendar minute after the start of the movie before I admit I put urine in my eyes. Yeah. And my theory is that we know exactly how many people there are in the world who drink their own piss, because 100% of them talk about it at every opportunity. There's no secret piss drinkers out there. They make it like front and center of their personality. Yeah. Red Sox fans and vegans are looking at the piss drinkers like, it's okay to have other hoppies, guys. Yeah, a little bit. Keep a lid on it. Come on. So now we cut to an AIDS support group where they're telling people to drink their piss. Yes, yes, yeah. Is this the urine therapy support group, which does sound like it's a recovery group

for former piss addicts rather than. It's really apt for this documentary, isn't it? The urine therapy support group. Yeah, it's so bad. And there's also, I think, the support group for like, is it health education AIDS liaison? So they managed to work that into H.E.L. That's where the sad John Hodgman is.

And that group, Heal, is a non-profit organization of AIDS denialists. That is where they, that is. who they are and that's what we're starting with. It's amazing. And people who are living with HIV and choosing to take urine therapy to treat that. It's grim. It's really grim. Well, here's the thing. It's 1999. You have AIDS. You can't Google things so you look up AIDS support or just the word AIDS or maybe you see a poster and you come here. Imagine that this is the first speech you are exposed to. No, but is that not better? See, it's,

It's much worse if this is like your 12th meeting and then they start to get. Because if the first one is like, oh, yeah, it's really hard. And, you know, we're looking at like very different antiretrovirals, see what's coming out there. You'd be like, okay, this is a genuine support group. And then 12 meetings in, you're like, okay, now we're ready, guys, the real secret. Have you ever tried bathing in your own urine and injecting it up your ass? You've been, oh, for fuck's sake. I've wasted until my time on this.

Well, I got the card. I've been wearing this shirt all around. I signed my mom up for the newsletter. having the worst day. So then we get some credits here, just a bunch of pee imagery in these credits. I just think they want the viewer to need to pee because there's so many trickling fountains

in those opening credits. And a baby penis. I do not want to see a baby penis within the first 65 seconds of the film. I don't want to see one at all. I was going to say, let's leave, let's clarify that. But I don't want to see it in the first 65 seconds of a film. It's somehow worse.

It was a painting of a baby. pissing in its own mouth. And I thought, okay, there is the time we're going to see someone piss at their own mouth ticked off on this movie. That's still, we don't need to come back to that. I was wrong. We were going to come back to that.

You were very wrong. Yeah, very, very wrong. Okay, I do have to admit, though, I had this thought as I was watching this credit sequence with the babies peeing into their own mounts. The only thing funnier than making Marsh watch this movie would be to have called a Mulligan at this point because I got to it like today's and been like,

hey guys, we're going to do this Christian film Love Waits Instead. We also get informed here that you're not supposed to drink Diet Coke. Diet Coke is bad for you. This is where we meet who Marshall will call on his notes J.K. Simmons. He is a former captain at the New York Fire Department. And you know who I really, really don't want to get saved by in the middle of a house fire? A guy who rubs urine all over his face. Oh, my God. This film was made in 1999.

Oh, he was a former. Okay, thank God for that. Because I was starting to do the maths on, like, firemen in New York in Manhattan. Don't worry, guys. I know how to fix this once and for all. No, God, Jerry. Marsh, you and I have met a person who was dealing with fires in a disaster before, and he was doing exactly this.

He was drinking piss, right? Was he showering in it? He was showering in his own. But you're absolutely right. We've met a former voles. volunteer fireman from New York who washed in his own base. We've met, he would have known this guy. Yeah. He would have known

this guy. He was like at the Flat Earth Convention. Is this a guy who was converted by the other guy or do we think that there is an inordinate relationship between being a fireman and being into piss? Because I get, right, you start out as a fireman by peeing on a fire. There's no question

that that's a part of it. Yeah. That's got to be part of the job pipeline. Or it's what you do as a child when you're like, I remember pissing on that flame and it went out and I thought, you know what, that's what I want to do for my life is to put out fires. Be that flame. Serial killers kill animals as children and firemen

piss on fires as children. I know we have some emergency responders in our audience. If you're an emergency responder and you're into piss, email Marsh. Don't email Alice because she just compared you to serial. Alice hasn't earned it. Just

email March. Change your patron name on the No Rogan experience. It's really confused Cecil. This is also where we meet Joanne Cudigan and her partner. We look them up. Her partner, first of all, is so aggressively topless that I didn't notice he had a parrot on his shoulder for about a minute.

That's how topless her partner is in this shot. But she is the founder and owner of Sunstarorganics.com. I went to that website. It still exists. I can only assume that she listens to Alice's segments on Skeptics with a K in order to find product tips on what she should. be selling because it is all there. Basically, my entire

back catalogue of wellness industry bullshit. In like episode order at some point, it's incredible. I went to the website and started to write jokes about it and got like two pages in and I was like, oh, forgot to review the movie. I was just talking about sunstarorgamics.com.

Okay. So now we're going to learn a little about Ayurvedic medicine. And the guy who introduces it is going to start by saying this. Ayavardic medicine started I'm not quite sure many years ago and I wrote in my notes

look I'm not saying anyone should sell Ayuric medicine but if you're going to sell it I feel like you should Google when it started This is Scott Gerson and they misspell Iovadic medicine on his Chiron this is the guy here

and the thing is as well he's a Gerson he runs something called the Gerson Institute of Ayurvedic Medicine he's not related to the Gerson therapy Gersens who run the Gerson Institute. And I feel like we've got like a woo fight going on there as to who gets to use the term Gerson Institute, because you've got the Gerson Cancer people, and he's apparently not one of them.

So, yeah, I'm not sure how that happened, basically. Yeah. I do you think it's hard to judge, I thought about this a couple times during the movie. Do you think it's hard to judge other Woosters when you're a Wooster? Right. Because like, if I was a chiropractic doctor who mostly gave people back massages and occasionally gave Kevin Sorbo a stroke, I feel like I wouldn't want to associate with the P people. But like, when the P people wander up to me at the job fair, I can't be like, your step's fake, right? You know what I'm saying?

It's got to be hard. It's got to be tough. I think they may be talking about behind their back, but to their face, they'd be totally supportive. I reckon that's what's going on there. They talk as well about how piss therapy, urine therapy, was part of Ayurvedic history. And they say it was named after the god of destruction because it destroys disease, which is a really fucking stupid explanation

in the same way that bleach has a skull and crossbones on the side of it because it kills diseases if you drink it. That's why you should be doing that. Yeah, the XKCD comic, right? This kills everything in a Petri dish but showed us a shotgun. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

They even show like a picture from my IVEG history of a god, to illustrate this, a god carrying a container as evidence that urine therapy is ancient. And I can only assume his argument is I bet that container was filled. were pissed. Yes.

Like, there's no reason they'd show us otherwise. I wrote that as a joke in my notes. He says, here, you can see him holding him to container. And I wrote as a joke in my notes, a faha, funny joke. There could be piss in there. And then the guy was like, I mean, there could be piss in there. It's amazing. It's amazing.

There was another great drawing that they showed in this section where there was a guy pissing into a bowl. I don't know if you noticed this in a very weird stance. He was like squatting as if he was doing a vulval steam over a bowl. with his little willie drawn on sticking into the bowl peeing into a bowl. It's a very...

It was just bizarre. It feels like it was a part of history where we hadn't mastered peeing standing up is what it looks like. This is also where we get introduced to the five elements of Ayurvedic medicine here. I went down a rabbit hole because the five elements of Ayurvedic medicine

are air, fire, water, earth, and space. Yeah. And I was like, oh, space feels a little out of place. and then I did some reading on fucking Ayyverdic get lied to.com or whatever the fuck the first Google result is. And space is so clearly the place filter that they use, right?

It's all the places where there's not a thing in your body or all the things that are defined by not having a thing in them. It's the absence of. Right. Yeah. And it's only because if they hadn't put space, they'd have had to include heart and they didn't want to summon Captain Planet. That's true. They couldn't do that.

Yeah, exactly. Because he judges you with the piss play. He really does. Very much. So there is a bit as well here where one of them said, God put the most powerful medicine into the human being in the form of urine. And I thought that can only be because God gets off on watching us drink piss. Has to be. Because he could have made it anything.

He didn't need to make it piss. He chose to make it piss. That was an active choice that he made. Yeah. It's certainly an odd choice if it's one that God made. So now we're going to cut to the piss nuns. So, Marsh, who are these nuts? nuns and why are they talking about peace so much?

It was very upsetting to me. Yeah, I don't know. They're sort of somewhere between, there's a Spanish Irish lady. She speaks, like, she's definitely Irish, but then she's speaking fluent Spanish. They're doing some sort of Spanish singing at one point, and they're singing about loving God,

and I assume loving piss? Yeah. I'm not sure. Yeah, yeah. I looked this Irish nun up because earlier in the film, she's speaking with a thick Irish accent. So I'm thinking Irish nun, right? Okay, Catholic Irish nun.

And then we come to this bit, and she's speaking fluent Spanish. And I'm really confused. So I looked her up. She is Irish. She was born in Ireland. She now lives on the Texas-Mexico border where she directs a shelter

that specifically welcomes vulnerable asylum seekers who have been released from detention in El Paso and fucking praise on them and feeds them urine. Jesus Christ. I think the more shocking part of that is, you say she now lives. I did not have this woman down as still alive.

Like that is the most amazing part. Maybe Piss works. 2020. The article I read was from 2020. Okay. So what we've learned is Piss does work. It keeps you fine. And they, she, so one of the things that comes up a lot in this movie is that someone will be talking about sort of general wooey health advice and then piss just comes in from

left field and there is no one this is more true for than this none who will be giving your basic average Catholic gobbledygook and then she'll be like, Jesus said I was the truth, the light in the world. And the world has piss on it. So that's why we drink piss. It's really good. for everybody, you should try it. It's amazing. It's like they must have a church based around drinking piss and their version of the last supper

must have been really fucking weird. This is my body and this is my blood. Now, if you just like get on your knees and like open your mouth, okay, now tilt your head back a little bit more. I feel like the Bible would have left that out. Yeah, so we get a little exploration of whether or not there's pee drinking in the Bible here.

They do. One gentleman explains to us that the, you know, he who drinks of everlasting life line was not a metaphor. It was about urine. There's a proverb apparently that says to drink water from your own cistern, which I think is just bonkers that they've decided,

okay, that must mean we drink from a toilet. Because that's why cisterns come from. I mean, there shouldn't be any pissing your cistern, but also it won't have meant that. It meant well. Yeah. Drink from a well. Actually drink from a well where you can get clean water.

Yeah. And don't drink from other people's wells. Don't steal their water, that kind of thing. And the thing is like they're assuming here that Jesus had to just allude to urine therapy. He couldn't just say it. He said some other things fairly specifically, but he had to kind of talk around the piss play stuff

because he didn't want to be demonetized on YouTube or something. Look, guys, the whole olive tree metaphor thing was for shitplay. You got to really read between the lines. We also have this amazing reinterpretation of this moment of horrifying racism. So nobody was alive during this time. But at one point, it was the prime minister of India that the president, was it the U.S. president or was it just like one of his helpers? I forget who it was.

I can't remember. Yeah, I'm not sure. Someone insulted the Indians. So basically, at some point in a very public event, a U.S. politician went, you guys love drinking pee and then had to apologize because that's a horrible thing to say to the prime minister of India. Yeah. And what this movie prevents that story as is like, no, you have insulted the long and excellent

lineage of urine therapy. Is this also where we meet the guy Barnett J. Weiss, who's one of the experts at the HIV denialism place, he's listed as a certified social worker, which is quite, first of all, that is a pretty unimpressive credential for a film about how urine can cure everything. Like, you know who we need to talk to? Let's get a social worker on. But let's make sure they're certified. Otherwise, they may not be experts enough to tell us how to cure AIDS. Right. We want to make sure they trust them. And I put us still in the notes, because not only is he in front.

of a pause to saying HIV testing is wrong, refuse and resist because they're AIDS denialists. He's also in front of a blackboard in which they appear to have written the word tombstones and then a series of numbers like they're counting tombstones. And I don't know whether that's to try and debunk the idea that people are dying of AIDS or to count the number of their members who are dying of AIDS because their organization did collapse because so many of their age denialist members died of AIDS, including the people who were running it, to a point where a lot of other people left because they noticed how there was a disproportionate number of people within this organization dying of AIDS and in the general population. Yep. Yeah.

So now we're going to do a little a historical tour of urine therapy. Yeah. In China, they drank young people urine to keep themselves young and healthy. Yeah. And ancient Egypt. They did that in ancient Egypt too. Yep, loved it. What I love about the one in ancient Egypt is, according to them, in the movie, at least, they said, hey, drink your urine, it cures everything, but don't tell poor people. And I was like, I think I can guess why they didn't want to tell anybody about the pee drinking, and I don't think it's medical secrets. Yeah. And then they say about Rome in Rome, they used to wash their clothes in urine. Yeah. And that is said by a talking head, like a guy who I can only assume he's been washing his microphone in urine because the sound quality is the

worst I've ever heard. Oh, yeah. So, okay. This one talking head, he will have a the movie never fixes it. Oh, there's one in Japan as well. They said, like, they talk about in Japan, and they've said, you know, they've invented a product to make modern urine more accessible. And I wrote, yeah, because I guess for many, like, urine is just so out of reach. The inaccessibility of urine is a real issue.

That's what it is. The idea that you could cure your cancer by drinking pee, but people aren't doing it because it's yucky. Yeah, yeah. You just need to put some sugar in it, make it. sweet. They ran through so many different areas. They talk about it gets really quite racist

and patronizing because they start talking about and these are all their words and not mine. Eskimos they talk about South America nomads in the Middle East, aboriginals, Native Americans, they're just listing a load of different people to prove that you should drink your piss because that's what other people do. Yeah, it's like all the people that

you think of being exotic, they love piss, trust me, I bet. And even when they speak to the guy from Japan, He's like, oh, Japan, urine therapy in Japan. They go to a guy in Japan to talk about urine therapy, and he talks about the use of urine in Brazil. It's like, why are we having this Japanese guy telling us about urine in Brazil? I did love that they gave us his like headshot, his science headshot,

because in his science headshot, it very much looks like a photo of a guy who's like, hey, they're not using me in a movie about how you should drink your own pee, are they? Oh, God, and it's so good. There's one lady who says, and urine isn't waste because it's made by the kidneys filtering the bloodstream. It's right, yes. You don't understand what a filter does then. Because it's producing waste.

Yeah, I don't think you've mastered the concept. It is a filter. It's just, this is the other side of that filter. The good stuff stays in, yeah. And there's another guy, J.K. Simmons, the wash-up J.K. Simmons fireman guy says, you know, urine's just like plasma. I've injected it into my veins just as an experiment. Yeah, you know, just to see how it feels.

My favorite part in this section is they speak to Martha Christie of a company called Trimedica Inc. She's saying it's used as a beauty treatment. So, of course, being who I am, I got very interested and tried to look her up and look up the company. And the company, as far as I can tell, doesn't really exist anymore.

But what I did find was just loads of legal battles. She's apparently borrowed a bunch of work from another Yorine therapy expert who says they weren't properly paid for their contribution. So she was taken to court over that. And she was also taken to court over claiming to be able to cause breast enlargement through dietary herbal supplements,

which she attempted to get stricken off under anti-SLAPP legislation because free speech. And for those of you wondering how Alice made me and Marsha aware of this is in our chat thread planning the show this week. Alice put the link to this lawsuit with just the caption,

Piss fight. Yeah. And do you know what? I didn't click that link. I didn't trust it. I'll wait until she tells me about it. Marsha's been here long. enough to know you don't click the link that says fish spite. She's also one who tells us about

all the vitamins and minerals that are in urine and I wrote in my notes. They're also in blueberries, lady. This is also where we get two of our real experts, one of whom gets a really bad rap, which is that they make it seem like he's pro urine in the first half of the movie.

Because he's explaining that like when penicillin was really rare, people would collect the urine of people who had had penicillin treatments and then drink it for the leftover penicillin. And I was like, okay, but that wasn't like for five. They weren't in it for the urine. No. I love this guy because he just seems like he's been told to, we're just asking some

questions about urine and he's like reaching to the back of his brain to find interesting facts to tell you about urine. Oh, and did you know? Yeah. And I feel like that guy, right, they were like, hey, we're going to interview you about cancer because he's a cancer doctor and he was like, all right, great. And then on question seven or eight about urine, you can see him start to realize it. Is this the guy?

Is this the guy they ask about, he says about how, you know, when people had diabetes before there was good diagnostic techniques, doctors would taste the urine to see if it was sweet. And if it was sweet, they meant they had diabetes. Yes. Because I wrote like, yeah, but the doctors weren't doing it for their benefit. They weren't tasting urine for themselves. It wasn't to help them. Look, Johnson, I don't know how to tell you this. You've got diabetes, but I'm having a hell of a day.

All right. Well, we've established that every single civilization except the ones with medicine totally used pee instead. So we need a second for our historian listeners to stop screaming, but we'll be back in a bit with even more urine, good health. And then right after he walks you home, you just slam the door in his face, bam, free sweater.

It just seems like a really convoluted process. Hey, guys, what are you chatting about? Eli's trying to convince me to be some kind of sweater-based con man. Con person, Dr. Alice, con person. All right, okay. Look, I know I'm going to regret asking this, but why? Because it's getting cooler, Marsh, and sweaters and fall essentials are pricier than ever. But if Dr. Alice gets caught in the rain with just one or two nice guys a week, we are going to be made in the shade.

Two a week? Oh, one a week, then. What a week? Guys, guys, guys. if you want everyday essentials that look and feel great without breaking the bank, you should try Quince. What's? Quince? Quince has the kind of fall staples you'll wear nonstop, like the Super Soft 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting at just $60. $60? How do they do that?

They partner directly with ethical factories and skip the middlemen, so you get top-tier fabrics and craftsmanship at half the price of similar brands. It's true. Quince sent us some summerwear to try when they first became a little man. sponsor and the pants we got became my wife's favorite pants. That's why I, Eli Bosnick, personally endorse Quince. All right, Marsh, I'm sold. Where do we sign up? Keep it classic and cool this fall with long-lasting staples from Quince. Got a quince.com slash awful for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash awful. Free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash awful. All right, Marsh, thanks. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Does Quince sell umbrellas?

I don't think so, no. Never mind, Alice, the con is back on. Don't you mean con person? Con person, yes, thank you. Hey, other guys in ancient India. You have to see what I invented. Oh, yeah, yeah, what is it? Show us.

Really? Nobody's going to do an Indian accent for the... No, we are not. Some of us have jobs. Fine, fine. Anyways, I've discovered this new kind of medicine, and it's all based on the fact that Everything in the world is one of the four elements. And what elements are those?

Fire, water, air, and earth, of course. Okay. What are the stars then? Oh, those are fire, because they shine like the sun, don't they? But they're up in the air. Yeah, I mean, I'm also not sure we're aware that they shine in the sun right now, you know, like historically speaking. Okay, you know what?

Actually, I just realized there's five elements. Oh, there are. What's the fifth one? The fifth one is space. What space? Well, stars, for one, at planets, if we know about those. Have you not created space just to cover anything that you can't check is part of the other four? No, no, we've got space down here on Earth as well.

Oh, yeah? Okay, what's the space down here, then? Ears. ears a space because they're the space in the body right so the homonym then yes the homonym and we're back

and we're going to start off on a guy who tells us about how one time he got to taste a serum of his own blood and it tasted just like P and I personally would love to hear how that situation arose in his life Dr. Ellis, you probably answer this better than I can.

At what point in medical school do you get to see a serum of your own blood and then they go, anybody want to taste? I'm pretty sure it's against the rules to do tasting of things in labs, usually. Yeah. Anything. But I did enjoy that in this film, just like in the very last film I watched with you guys, there was a bit of a clip about making a buffy coat, which I talked about on the very last show I was on with you.

That's true. This is true. Very bizarre. Eli just knows, he's got you pigeonholed. Anytime there's a buffy coat in a film, that's when he gets you back on the show. That's exactly right. Yeah, you are a buffy coat.

Our medical slash buffy coat expert. This is also where we're going to meet my favorite expert. This older Irish gentleman who just, he looks like he is seeing Lovecraftian horrors off camera unfold more and more each scene, right? And he's going to start. This is a guy. who is very clearly not pro-urrent therapy. He's going to start by being like, yeah, urine is a good way to study the body,

but like not for drinking it or by drinking it or anything to do with that. Yeah, because I didn't know at this point that he was going to be anti-urin therapy, because we were only just starting to see him. So when he said that you can study what's happening in the person's body by studying the urine, I'd written like, yeah, but at no point does that suggest you need to take the urine back in? You can study it in a glass. It's like, well, anyway, you know, waste not want, not.

Now we've done those tests. So we were just supposed to not open a lemonade stand at all? This is craziness. We also get a weird segment defending the usefulness of the kidney here. I wrote in my notes, I'm not attacking the kidney. I'm attacking you all for drinking pee, everybody. This took me back to my undergraduate degree completely because we're suddenly, I'm seeing footage of a loop of Henley.

It's great. I'm literally just learning about ultra-filter filtration. again and how the kidney works, listening to a nephrologist who's got an amazing mustache telling me about ultra-filtration. I'm here for it. I love it. Is that what your degree was like? A guy with an amazing mustache talking about the loop of Henley. There were not enough great mustaches during my degree, Marsh. God damn it. I wish I'd gone to university in the 90s because I would have had all these amazing mustaches. All these mustaches to choose from. It's true. And those signs prepare to

meet thy God. It was a better time. It's a better time, a cleaner time. We also learned that urine actually works great as a vaccination. I wrote in my notes, I sure hope RFK hasn't watched this movie. Oh, God. I think he has. I think I saw somewhere that he cited this film at one point, ages and ages ago.

I didn't, I haven't got that in my notes, but I remember when I googled this, RFK came up. So I worry that he has seen this. And I worry that piss is going to be the closest thing you have to health care in your entire country in about a week's time.

Yeah. Do you think that's what he meant by the mitochondria of all the children he's been seeing in airports? We're trying to get a translator going here in the U.S. I think this is the section where I really feel like the producer is starting to troll somebody and I can't decide who because we get a section where a lady talks about needing to rescue antibodies from the urine so that we can, you know, we release antibodies in our urine and

then we need to rescue them and drink them. And then we immediately cut to a microbiologist who just simply says antibodies don't appear in the urine. Yeah, it's great. Also, we go back to the Japanese guy again and he says that the body can diagnose illness by drinking urine because the throat can taste what's wrong with us. Like there's some sort of mechanism in the throat.

Like the way you have the flavor taste buds on your tongue, there's one of those in the throat but for disease. So, oh yeah, my kidney disease part of my throat is lighting up. That means that's what's wrong with me right now because the piss is activated it. His Kiron had listed him as the direct. director for the Japanese Medical Association. Had it?

Yes. Wow. That's going to be a mistranslation. In Japan, it's going to be like, oh, the medical association of Japan is the real one. And the Japanese Medical Association is the crazy people trying to trade on this. Yeah, we also learned that if you think about it, drinking pee is just like the Ebola vaccine. They didn't explain that at all. They didn't explain how this connected.

Yeah, they say, so they're talking about the Ebola outbreak of like 1988, at least according to my Googling, and they say that it was put down by injecting blood from a healthy person into a sick one. Yes. Or was it, was it a healthy person or was it somebody who had survived Ebola? Yes, exactly. Yeah, but the thing is, and this is one of the things that will come up throughout this film, for that to work, let's say that, like, for that to work, urine therapy would have to be useful.

It's not, but like, let's say that even urine therapy worked on that. like concept, you'd be drinking someone else's piss, which were exclusively told at various parts of this film, you do not do. You cannot ever do that. Unless you're drinking a baby's piss, then it is acceptable. As long as they are of the same gender of you.

Yes, that bit's important, yeah. Or a hotel employee. That is the other exception to this. This is what we're about to get. Yes, this is where he says that when you go on vacation, ask the healthiest-looking bellboy for a drop of his urine. Yeah. Yeah.

That is not acceptable behavior, just in case that needs clearing up for any listeners. It is one way to avoid having to tip him, I guess. I feel like Manchester would be cool with it. I don't want to speak ill. Well, I mean... You know the guy who says this? His Chiron said his name was Martin J. Lara. Underneath that, it says, plumber.

He's a fucking plumber. And then underneath that, he says he's the author of Europathy, the most powerful holistic therapy. but we're taking information and advice and advocacy on urine therapy from a fucking plumber. Right. And the only advice you should take from a plumber is how to unblock a U-Bend and how to rescue a princess. Those are the only two things that plumbers can do. Also, fun fact, Eli, asking hotel staff if you can buy their piss is the real reason we've had to stop doing QED. We're blacklisted from every hotel in Manchester.

That's why it's the last one. That's what it is. Yeah. And it's also why it's sold out for some reason. A lot of German attendees. this year, everybody get ready. If they offer you the smock at the front of the first couple of rows, take the smog. The splash zone, yeah, the splash zone of the stage.

Is this also a bit where the piss experts have what is basically an edited disagreement about whose urine to drink? Because we've got one guy saying, you know, drink the bellboys at the hotel. And the next person said, you should never drink anybody else's urine other than your own. So the only solution that I can think of is to become a bellboy in a foreign country. and then you can drink your own magic piss while fulfilling both of their criteria. That's the lengths that people go to get well, Marsh, that's the way.

Then we're going to get our yoga teacher again. Oh, this is Jihon. Yeah, this is Jihon. He's the one who opened our movie with the cold open drinking urine. He explains that he was in the army, and at one point, it's hard to tell if he's talking about a thing

that happened to him or like a hypothetical because he switches tenses in mid-sentence, but someone was dying of three. thirst, then he drank his own piss and a sore went away. And no one's saying that we shouldn't drink urine if we're in a survival situation, right? Like, that's fine if you're really desperate. Isn't it not fine, though? That doesn't mean it's healthy.

I thought it isn't even useful in that situation. I suppose if you're in a survivalist situation, you're probably dehydrated enough that the urine you're drinking probably doesn't contain a lot of a greater amount of water compared to if you were, like, heavily hydrated. and you're peeing fairly clearly. Yeah, and I'm not 100% sure on this, but I think early on, drinking your urine would be fine because you want to keep the hydration.

Once you're getting to the point of being severely dehydrated, it's not going to give you any benefit. Dr. You're urine will be fine, dash, Dr. Alice. I'm just, sorry, I'm designing the website in my head. Yeah, I'm building the website in my head. I don't have HTML in front of me now, but I like to make these notes for later when you publish a book. Or for those little, you know those little things that come up during QED

the like fun facts? I would like one of those. Dr. Dr. Alice. This is also where yoga John says that we can drink the same water for 30 days and never need any more water. We can just keep recycling the same water. Or food, no food.

But like, what does he think the body does with the water we take in? Just piss it straight out. We sweat. We even use some of it for stuff. That's why we need water in the first place. Yeah, we're just a skeleton drink. drinking a beer in a cartoon, according to Dr. John. We also learned that it's fine because we came into the world experiencing urine therapy

because amniotic fluid is urine. The expert that they announced this to is my favorite, the Irish guy. And this is where the madness truly begins to strike him. Because his, right, it's supposed to cut to him for his, like, medical response. And he's like, what the fuck did they just say? No. No. Look, it's either him or another expert. says something like, yes, there's urine in the amniotic fluid, but in very controlled dilutions,

very controlled amounts, it's not just piss. You're not just a baby in a bag of piss. So now it's time to address the one objection that, of course, everybody has to urine therapy, which is that it's yucky. People are afraid to talk about it. But Eli, that's indoctrination. You're indoctrinated to think that it's gross. Yes. They even use the phrase, but we're wrongly told it as a, turnoff. They use the phrase turnoff and this is starting to tell them so at least some of them is what's going on here. They're on about turn ons and turnoffs 100%. Oh, this is the telling on themselves section because this is where the guy goes, you know, most people only associate drinking

with urine with pornography. And then we get, of course, as Marsh teased, a still of a guy peeing into his own mouth from pornography, which means that they were like, some people think this is only from pornography. Here's some of that pornography that we happen to have to hand while we for making this movie? Yeah, just playing on their monitors like Ryan Walters. It was already there the whole time. And that same guy is like, look,

people are fine with golden showers. And I was like, you got a check, man. Not everyone's fine. Only if you're consenting. Yeah, exactly. This is where we get Margie Adelman too. So she's the person whose expertise

was borrowed by Martha. So she tells us that urine therapy is kept under the rug because people don't want to just come out and say that they drink urine and so they keep it very private. But yeah, she is the person who ends up in a battle with somebody

else in this film. Wow, I did not realize. The cast party for this movie tense, let me tell you. Tense right now. While there's another guy who's just lying on the floor pissing in his mouth at the rap party. Tense for the waiters, tense for the participants. There's also Spetlana

from Svetlana Herbs-Irevedic who says, but A, it doesn't smell that bad, but she used to keep it on her head all night? Yeah. Yeah. I think she's just not smelling it anymore because she's smearing it all over her face at all times and she's just become like accustomed to the smell of it.

And then we're going to get the end of Yelly Guy's speech. So I never understand who Yelly Guy is, the one who's like very confrontational and seems to be speaking to a group of people in front of a chalkboard. Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah. I've got him like as a timeshare salesman or something like that. Yeah, yeah. For some reason, he's the hard sell for peeing in your own mouth and this.

movie. But this is what he gives us the fucking, you can't handle the truth here. He's like, if you're going to laugh, what are you laughing at? And I wrote in my notes, the pee drinking. And he's like, if you say it doesn't work, what doesn't work? And I wrote all of it. And he's like, well, if that's true, you should sue the pharmaceutical companies

because they make Premarin. So now we're going to cut over to a very real pharmaceutical rep explaining to us what Primarin is. And it is It is from horse piss, but only in the sense that like aspirin is from tree bark.

You know what I'm saying? Yes. Yeah. Or insulin from pigs. We did also use to derive insulin from pigs. Yeah. We get compounds from other sources when we haven't figured out how to synthesize it before.

Yeah, it's not like you go to Glaxo-Smith's headquarters and just one floor is filled with pissing horses. Oh yeah, that's the horse piss floor for all the premarim. We haven't figured out a better way to make it. We have to keep taking it directly out of horses. And to be clear, so Premarin, it's a hormone replacement therapy. It's estrogen. They take the estrogen from pregnant mare urine.

And they take it all out. They don't, you're not drinking horse piss. You're getting a tablet with some estrogen in it. Yeah. We come back to my favorite, the Irish guy there. He's now just in a full on psychotic fuse thing. Yes. His quote here is, I don't know any basis of drinking your own urine.

It's just a hard cuts away from him. It's not apropos of anything that anyone. have said. It's just something he screamed loud at this point in the time dimension. Yeah, I just wanted the Chiron to read, a doctor who wishes he'd been asked a different question, please. A doctor who's bad at guessing the numbers on our master lock. Okay, then we got some more, a guy who drinks his pee and then he injects it. He begoves himself with urine. Yeah. Yeah. This is where we cut back to Intuit Cancer Doctor. So again, at the beginning of the movie, I thought this guy was one of the bad guys. He's very clearly just a

cancer researcher, but now he's like, if you ever watch a video of Marsh talking to an idiot, there's sort of a joy that spreads over him that he's not very good at hiding, like when he got Dojo Storm by a bunch of flat earthers. That's what this doctor's at right now. He's like, lean in on a centerfuge, and he's like, you know, don't, don't inject yourself with pee. That could cause scar tissue. Yeah.

Alice has seen that version of me so often that at one point, I was in such a long conversation. and she left and went to McDonald's and started taking pictures of me from the upstairs of the McDonald's while she was having a drink. Exactly. Just got him. It was good.

But hey, here's the thing, folks. If you're going to doubt P-therapy, you're also going to have to doubt other forms of science. For example, homeopathy. Yeah. They open with like, what is homeopathy? Oh, wow, that's your next best argument. This is not going to go well.

Especially from a guy whose medical institute is missing the letter T in the middle of institute. Sure is. It's such and such instantude. It's not good. He's explaining homeopathy to us to explain why, if you think about it, drinking your own pee is basically doing homeopathy on yourself. And all three of our notes are just, I mean, yeah, man, you've got us there.

All you'd have to do is tell me that you shake north, south, east, and west, and it's essentially the same process. Yeah. Me and Alice both have the exact same note on the dilution as well, If you imagine you take one teaspoon of urine into four teaspoons of water, that's homeopathic. And me and Alice are both like, I mean, it's not, is it? That's just piss. Yeah, that's not homeopathy.

Homeopathy has to be much more dilute than that. Yeah, that's just slightly weakened piss. That's all that is. I also have to point this out because my guy, the Irish guy, and look, I know I exaggerate for comedic effect on our podcast occasionally, but Marsh and Alice, please back me up. While this guy is talking about homeopathy, it cuts to, Irish guy looking around in terror, not speaking, not responding, not counterpointing. It's like he is hearing the other guy speaking and he looks as the way a wormhole with

Cthulu has just opened up in front of him. Yeah, he looks like he's hearing the guy speaking and they're not playing the tape. He's just like intuting it through his ears, through the ether or something. Somewhere out there that someone's saying something totally bullshit about piss and I can't get it out of my head. Yeah. And is this where he says, that same guy? is essentially saying along the lines of, look, if you're forcing me to be as absolutely as generous as possible, I might be able to find a hint of a hint that one day, maybe one of the compounds that sometimes in urine,

might turn out one day to be useful, maybe. And that's him being as like as generous as possible, basically. He's so desperately trying to change the subject. He's like, I heard someone say peptides. Would you like to talk about peptides? That's a real science word. We've done 14P questions. I thought I was going to get to talk about my research.

I told the university I was going to be in a movie. Guys, here's the thing. When you shit on P therapy, you show on people doing amazing work. Like Bersenski. Do you want to shit on Bersenski? Stanislav Bersinski, total blast from the past. I haven't heard about this guy for so long.

Oh, God. And he uses stuff taken from P that he injects into cancer patients as part of his trial. And it's a trial that has been going on for decades and has never published any results but a trial that you do have to pay an awful lot of money to be part of, which isn't a trial, that is a dodge around the FDA

and nothing more than that. Yeah, well, and we talk a bit about the FDA here, right? We learned that Bersinski is an FDA outsider, right? Well, what I love is that there's a news item talking about him being prosecuted for fraud and breaking drug approval rules. But at that point in the news item, the reporter says,

Bersinski thumbed his nose at the FDA rules exactly as the camera pans up Bersinski's side profile, and he has a fairly distinctive nose. And again, I think there's trolling going on in this film. It's a fair amount of nose to thumb there, yeah. I mean, you can say what you like about Bersinski, but I think we are one month away from him being the head of your American Cancer Association or something

by RFK, Jr. matter of time. It's not important enough. Maybe he'll be that Trump dies and they're just like, and then Bersenski's the president now. We'd be like, sure, okay, but only if my favorite congressman makes a video in her car. Well, I also love is Baczynski doesn't use anti-neoplastones from urine. He discovered it in urine, and now he makes it synthetically.

His lab makes it synthetically. He's not even good for what these people are trying to praise him for. He's not even a piss guy. No. He's not even a piss guy. And he's that big, he's their pissed star. And he's not even a piss guy. Yeah.

This is also where they're going to address all the, like, there's no such thing as the double-blind study. They've never done anything like that. And one of our experts, one of our P experts, explains that you can't do a double-blind study on urine therapy because urine is always different. And I wrote my notes, that sounds like that would be a terrible medicine then, wouldn't it?

Just keep rolling the dice on it. Yeah, absolutely. They also haven't caught up with their skeptics with a K here. They explain the placebo effect is 30%. Now, to be fair, they don't say what it's 30% of. No, that is true. And look, the placebo effect is not around 30%. It is lower than that by about 30%.

That is how much low than 30% to do. That literally, that figure, I think it came from Henry Beecher, and I think if I remember rightly and Mike will be the one who knows all about this. It was him just saying, yeah, I reckon it's about that. I've looked at it a bit. And I think it's about 30%, give or take. It's about that. And that was as strong as that claim was.

And it was bollocks, yeah. And our expert here, the guy who's talking about the placebo effect, he goes, look, if it doesn't work physically, it works mentally. Yeah, he says, like, even if it's just a placebo effect, who cares? It's like, we care because you're making them drink piss, you maniac. Even if there was a placebo effect, it doesn't have to come from piss. Yeah, this is exactly what I wrote. He wrote, I'd rather people get a placebo than nothing.

And I go, but some placebos aren't pee. Sometimes they're M&Ms, damn it. Sometimes they're M&Ms. And then, of course, this leads us to the fact that all doctors think alike because they all go to the same school. Yeah. They're all educated the same way, properly, and that's a problem. Yeah, it's like true things have universal answers, or do they? Oh, this is also where we get told that, well, you know that people who live the longest

are the ones who see the doctors the least. It's like, yeah, but the causality there is the other way around their health, you know, that they don't need to see a doctor. Yeah. It also sounds like something that they'd sell you at the fucking weird store at the cracker barrel, like, I'm staying away from the doctor. All they do is seriously. sick people. Now, drink your own urine. Like, it's a weird, it's a weird folksism to include in urine therapy. We also have a shot of a woman giving the German lady giving a chiropractic adjustment on the neck of a patient. Oh, is that what she's doing? Yeah. And I can live with seeing a clip of a guy pissing into his own mouth. I winced so hard seeing that chiropractic

adjustment because it looked painful as to hell. She cracked his neck. Yeah, it's not, it's not good. It's not good at all. And not safe and potentially fucking fatal, right? And it's really, really fucking dangerous. Yeah, this is not like ASMR neck cracks that are mostly used by people snapping their hand near a body mic. She's like pressing her knee on a guy's neck as it's between two chairs. Yeah, yeah, like really high up exactly where it's the most dangerous. Yeah, absolutely insane.

And I think this is the lady who's well, who's talking about, or we're getting a voice at the time, where they talk about how people aren't researching urine because it's just not hip and cool. That's the thing in the lab. it's not hip and cool. And Alice, you were a medical researcher. How much did coolness and peer pressure play into what science you chose to pursue? We're so cool. Researchers, it's all we think about is how to look and be considered cool when we're turning up at work in our fleeces and our walking boots. Yeah, that's true. You were too cool to even wear a white lab coat the entire time we're in the lab. So maybe we're talking to the wrong person here. You were everyone else in a white

lab court, you're like, no, I don't need to wear the lab court. I wondered why there were so many reports about skateboards, and it's all coming together. During this peer press reports, she says something that's so funny and tragic to me. She's like, you know, if you research urine and you have a breakthrough, they make fun of you forever. For instance, I've only written one book about urine therapy, and they call me the P-Lady. That's great. And as she's saying that the director actually cuts to a copy of her urine therapy book to

really underscore the fact that, yeah, you research urine and you're known as the P-Lady the entire time, yeah, 100%. You are the pee lady. All right. Well, looks like I've got a nickname to rethink, so we'll take a quick break, but let me give Act 3 the hard sell here. Is Big Pharma holding your pee for money? Are there weirder things to do with pee than drink, inject, and bathe in it?

Is the Irish doctor going to be okay? Stick around for the answer to these questions and more when we return for the upsettingly graphic conclusion of urine good health. All right, sir, here you are. I trust the rooms to your liking. Oh, yes, it's lovely. Thank you. Excellent. Can I get you anything else? Well, actually, now that you mention it, are you healthy?

Sir? You look like a healthy young buck. You're nice and fit? I like to think so, sir. I see, excellent. So, how much for a little bit of your piss? My what? Your piss? You know, just a bit. Just a little bit of how much for a little bit of your piss? Oh, okay, so yeah, I'm not sure I'm interested.

Just hear me out. You're going to piss it away in a toilet somewhere, aren't you? Okay, I suppose so. Right? So what do you say? Five pounds, a little bit of piss. Five pounds. Oh, why, it's pissed.

It's not like you've gotten a better offer. I might have. Okay, you know what? Now that I think about it, that guy at the front desk, he looked really healthy too. Fine, fine, five pounds. There we go. You are so lucky you're in the north. In London, this piss would be 20 quid.

Easy. Oh, for sure. And we're back. And we're going to start mid-rant where someone tells us that doctors would not hesitate to give urine to every patient if it were medication,

to which I wrote in my notes. Well, then we would have made it a medication. Yeah, yeah. And they aren't giving it to patients right now. So what can we? from that. This is Gary, isn't it? Gary Null or something.

Gary Null. Gary Null has this satin-brown shirt, an animal print wallpaper that is giving major porn director vibes. Yes. He just totally looks like a porn director, and I can't get it out of my head every time he appeared on screen. And I bet I know what kind of porn too. Yeah, I was going to say,

that's still that we saw earlier. Now we know where we got that still from. Yeah. From the Gary, whatever, art collection. You know, when you see the little plaque at the museum. It's like from so and something. Sorry, you guys are Brits. Usually when we have things in a museum,

it's not covered in the blood of the people. The people we stole it. Whenever there's a plaque in a British museum, it's an apology. It's an apology. It's made out of the bones of the people. This is also where P-Lady, which is what I will be calling her forever,

explains that the reason you don't have any research or proof that urine therapy works is that doctors are not allowed to publish research. I was like, oh, Alice, you are in fucking trouble. Yeah, her argument here was that Big Pharma chairs the department of pharmacology in every medical school, and that's how they're keeping it out there. That's the argument that they're making.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So we cut over to the nuns again. The nuns tell us that one of their friends had asthma, but she drank some pee and she felt all better. We got to the Irish guy who's like. you know a moment where life has gotten so bad and things are so bad that you're seeing the humor in it even before it's over? That's where he is now. Because he just looks at us with

sort of a half smile and goes, I feel like we'd have learned to market pee, wouldn't we? Even her asthma thing, her asthma thing is saying like her friend had asthma and then started drinking piss and now the asthma became the least of her worries. Essentially what she's saying. It's like, Yeah, it's because she's now drinking piss. I mean, if you drink piss, you're probably not going to be as worried about how much asthma you've got. Because you're spending your time drinking piss. That's a bigger thing on your mind right now.

She also says, like, she was told that it would affect her for the rest of her life. So now she's drinking pee every day for the rest of her life to manage her asthma. It's like, well, that's still affecting her every day. I might argue it's a little bit worse. Have we heard of inhalers? I would rather take an inhaler. I'm not to undermine how severe. asthma can be, but a take an inhaler over urine, I think.

Yeah. Yeah. And now it's time for me to talk to my favorite victim of this documentary, Trucanese. So let me explain what's happening. Truecanase was a company in the United States that had an idea that you could send out free porta-potties and then use a variety of scientifically valid filters to filter out chemicals from that urine. And then you could see. sell that chemical or use that chemical for science purposes. This guy, who they will interview from Trucanese throughout this movie, is so excited to tell us about the variety of possibilities that are from Trucanase. He is not aware he is in a movie where half the people are like,

you should drink your own pants. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. He's also not aware that this is not a multi-billion dollar market as he thinks it will be. He's not aware he's about to go bankrupt on this. essentially. And I will say this, in Earl's defense, Earl, that's the guy from Trucanese, is also very obviously a piss pervert,

but he thinks he's keeping it under the ring. Right? He is so excited about his Port-aloo. Oh, yeah. At one point, he pulls out one of the filters from the I don't think it's a bucket of piss, but it is a bucket of liquid.

And he's just like, he's just squeezing it. He's just squeezing it. He's so excited. He says, oh, if I could kiss it, I would kiss it. Yeah, and I think what he means is if I could kiss it on camera and I'm not allowed to kiss it on camera in the documentary. I looked into this company because as he's talking about his like, he's doing a product demonstration for a piss filtering business. And as he's talking, we literally at one point see the ads they've got for their industry. It cuts to

us playing their ad. So I looked into this company. So it tried to float on the stock exchange and it completely failed. And then it ended in some kind of accounting acrimony where like the people involved, like, suing each other for stuff. They couldn't make piss extraction viable, shockingly enough, but they did apparently pivot part of their business to renting out the Porterloos that they had bought in order to give for free. They were like, well, okay. So their model had been, we buy a load of these porta-potties

and we send to people for free, as you say, Eli, and then we make the money on the piss. And then eventually they were like, we could just rent out the assets we bought and make money that actually works. All right, guys. Because, again, we figured out how to synthesize the kinases that they were filtering out of urine, so we don't need this anymore. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think they were

only in this documentary because it was an opportunity to pump their essentially failing filter business, which is very funny because that means this film must have been in their marketing plan as their strategy for the year, like, great news, they're going to feature our company in a documentary. Oh yeah, what's a documentary

called? Doesn't matter, please never check. Don't worry about it. They said we could put our whole commercial in there. Well, that does sound fantastic. Now, I also looked in, because when I saw this in Marsh's notes and when I saw this in Dr. Alice's notes about them actually figuring out how to get it, I'm not saying that scientists don't want a better world and researchers don't want a better world. But there's no way that the very real researchers associated with this company who had spent years filtering chaynes or whatever the thing is out of piss weren't a little disappointed when they realized it was going to be synthetically made from now. You've been elbow-deep in piss for the last five years, and then some assholes are like,

well, actually, it's just cable sugar and bed. Yeah, like the next time they got a job, they had to explain the gap in their resume because they didn't want to just write piss in big block capitals over six years. Shoulder deep and piss. No, you know what? I'm going to say gap year.

Gap year is what I'm going to put on. Long-term illness. Yeah. So now we're going to talk about topical urine. This is where the guy says, This is my favorite of Marsha's notes in the entire episode. A guy is explaining to us that women wipe their face with their baby's diaper to look young. Yes.

Yeah, absolutely. He says, like, yeah, they'll often do that. He says, you'll find a lot of mothers who'll, when their baby's unit, in the diapers will wipe their face. And I wrote, find me three, mate. You said there's a lot. Find me just three. Just three of them. And I'll agree with you.

I don't think so. We also get, like, you can use it for cuts and burns. It's an easy way to deal with the burn, she says, is to piss on it. And she either disproportionately suffers inner leg burns, or she hugely overestimates her ability to aim her piss. Yeah, exactly. We also just get a bunch of kink things. Like, they flash a bunch of stuff across on the screen,

like things that let you smell urine and things that you let you put urine on your feet. But, like, those are just sex toys for people who are into pee play. Those aren't medical devices. The piss shoes, the shoes that you fill with piss and stash. Yeah, I'm pretty sure those are medical devices. At one point, someone says that you have to put a glove full, if you get burned on your hand, or if you have a cut on your hand, you take a glove full of urine and you put it on your hand. That sounds like a bad idea.

I'm not the medical person here, but that sounds like a terrible idea. Right after he says that, it cuts back to the Irish doctor. At this point, his hair is getting messy. That's how bad is. His hair has become unneaten, his tie is loose. And he just goes, urine is sterile. Cut away. Howard got away.

Oh, yeah, yeah. This is also where John says that, like, he knows piss works because he used to have really bad acne when he's a teenager. And he doesn't now that he's an adult. And that's got to be because he's putting piss in his face. There's no other reason for that. Yeah. We cut over to one of the guys, I forget who this guy is,

but we've seen him a lot through the movie who explains to us he's got his bag of food-grade urea. Well, yeah, and there's a whole chunk where they're just talking about urea as an actual treatment, which it is an actual treatment for skin complaints, you can buy it in a cream and use it as an ointment. You don't need to piss on yourself. In fact, you're going to get a better concentration of it if you purchased it.

Yes. And the fact that he's saying he's got a bag of food-grade urea, that means it would be acceptable for human consumption. And I disagree. I think consuming urea is hard to make acceptable. I'm not an expert chef. Maybe there are people out there who can really master it, but I think it's pretty difficult to make it acceptable.

You're not going to the right restaurants, let me tell you. Is this where we get makeup book lady, or is that later in the movie? No, yeah, we do get, we get Paula Begoun, Begown, who's the author of Don't Go to the Cosmetics Counter without me. Yeah, and to be clear, from what I could tell, at least, she's not like a bullshit merchant. She's just a lady who, like, wrote a book on how to relatively, skeptically shop for cosmetics.

And she does... Basically, yeah. She talks about Eurea, but the entire thing she says is like, hey, it's not Pee, don't worry. Yes, exactly, yeah. Yeah, like her Wikipedia page doesn't mention Pace 1. So I'm pretty sure, like, she doesn't, and she also 100% does not know she's in a let's drink piss film. She's in a, hey, is there anything good about Eure film?

And then they've changed on her as to what this is about. Yeah. We're going to go back to the A's denial meeting for a bit. This is where a gentleman, and look, I'm not fucking squeamish. But when this guy tells us that he drank seven ounces of piss for his shingles. Yeah, I had to look it up. That's half a pint of piss. That's a lot of me.

It's a lot of pee. It also opens with them saying urea has been used to treat cancer. And Alice, you were a cancer researcher. Yeah. Why didn't you try just using piss? Did you ever try and just use piss even once? It just, oh, it's just not, I mean, it's not good. It's that I'm never going to recommend anybody uses piss to treat cancer.

I don't know of any research of anybody using piss to treat cancer. It's not going to work. Okay. I'm glad you've got that on record. And we haven't managed to cure cancer. So can I say, and you know what? I've said this to you many times. You're not in it to win it.

And you know what? You're not in it to win it. Alice no longer is a cancer researcher. They got to her. That's what it is. Big piss got to her. We also, I know it's not really like a moment that matters in the movie, but at one point during this like talking about how piss can heal be a montage,

we get footage of the piss nuns getting visited by the bishop. Now, look, I don't know that this is true. But I promise you, this bishop who's like blessing this doorway and this fucking new church, is not aware that the piss nuns are behind him. I think he knows there are nuns there. I don't think he knows they're the piss nuns. And is it her or the, it might be the guy still at the HIV thing, who says, you can recycle all of the urine produced by the body on a daily basis,

and nothing will happen, is what he says. And I wrote, well, your friends might not speak to you as often. That might happen. You might lose some friends. Yeah. One of the guides at the AIDS denial meeting tells us that he uses piss to get rid of the smell of drinking and tobacco. around him? Yeah, because that'll do it

because now you won't smell of smoke, you'll smell of piss. That is what's going to happen. Yep. It's much better. It's much better than cigarette smoke. Obviously, that's, I definitely, no, I definitely wouldn't.

Cigarette smoke smells way better. Yeah. The Irish nun also says that you'll get a reaction when you first start drinking urine because it's cleansing your body, so you'll get headaches, diarrhea and dizziness. For months. She says for months and that's a good thing.

You have diarrhea for months and it's a good thing. We get the New York fire department guy back who says he's had some athletes' feet which just, he says it twice as well. It makes me think he's just got feet that have decided to start running because it's not full athlete's feet.

Yeah. It's athlete's foot. Even if it's on both feet, it's athlete's foot. And he got rid of it over a few months and he thought he'd have it for the rest of his life and he doesn't. And isn't athletes foot something that kind of can come and go essentially kind of will come by itself? It can settle down.

It can last a really long time and you do need to treat it with antifungal cream because it can linger for a while, but it'll kind of settle down and then it'll flare back up again and things. So, yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if he's just settled down a bit. And I'll say this.

If you're regularly injecting yourself with piss, just as an experiment, you probably have a lot of things that go on that make you ignore your athlete's foot from time. We also have this great moment where we cut to the piss nuns and the lady is explaining that she snorts the pee every morning.

And I did put a picture in our notes. I think Tim will be able to share it on our Facebook page. Her friend is looking at her exactly the way you would look at someone who is explaining that they snort pee. And I just wrote in my notes, Marsh looks at me like this. Yeah, it is, it is great.

Because the nun is also saying, you can put drops of piss in your ears and your eyes and your sinus. And they legally can't stop you. You can do that. You shouldn't do that. But you can do it. It is possible, I guess.

Yeah. We basically go straight from that to vaginal douches. Oh, yeah. We don't go straight because we also go through, you can boil the piss and breathe in the vapors

and that is free to do. And all that's going to happen, they say is, your house might smell a bit of piss. I think that is quite the price to pay. It's during this, so there's this one guy, this guy we keep cutting back to,

he's like at a fucking pitch meeting for piss. It's insane. I don't know. I don't know what fair let him have a booth, but everyone should be shut down. And he's the one who tells us you can boil the piss and he's like, and even he admits like,

yeah, but your house will smell like piss. Just a heads up. This is where we cut over to the AIDS denialists, those they tell us that you can douche was pissed and then he recommends that you give yourself three quarts of piss in an animal. Well, and this is the thing on this section is they're like, oh, well, first,

for the first thing you need to do is start collecting your urine. When the whole way through this whole film they have been saying repeatedly, only take fresh urine. It's really bad if you keep it. If it lingers for too long, it gets bacteria in it. It gets really gross.

It smells and tastes horrible. But this guy's like, no, no. Collect it. Make sure that you've got enough to do a big enema with it and introduce all that bacteria into your rectum. This is not a good idea.

This is the guy who's saying that he always recommends urine enemas for whenever you're dealing with severe disease. And that, as a policy of always recommending it, is only acceptable if you're doing it to stop people asking you for advice about TV diseases. Can I say? I bet he's 100% effective with that.

I would say over a long enough timeline, yes. This was my favorite moment of psychosis from Irish doctor, by the way. I have also included a picture of him because he is truly in a fugue state. I mean, mouth open, eyes facing different directions, and all he says in response to this enema's comment, which I guess he has been told because he's talking about enemas is, Freaking taking of urine Enemus could have disadvantages.

Imagine, this guy's in his 60s, maybe early 70s. Imagine how long he went to school and how long he had to practice medicine and there he sat being like, please don't put urine up your bottom. And this might be the only time he was ever in like a film or on television or anything.

This is his big break. It's like his moment in the limelight. And he's saying, IMDB is what comes up first for most people, and this is true for him as well. Oh, there's also the doctor who I thought was a bad guy before, but actually turns out to be a good guy. He helps us here because at one point, someone talks about drinking urine, and he's just like, yeah, but you can't drink urine because it doesn't have the same amount of stuff that you needed it.

And number two, I'd rather take a pill than drink urine. Yes, yeah, yeah, for a heart attacks, I think he was. Put a drop a piss under your tongue when you're having a heart attack. And the guy says, like, or you could take a tablet. You know, it's up to you. It's what you'd love this guy because he's trying to, he's trying really hard to apply the science for this. He's like, well, it's not going to

work if you swallow it, because your stomach acid will break it down. So if you're going to take Eurokines for a heart attack, it needs injecting. If you could swallow it, I would much rather, he says it's his personal belief and preference that the pill would be better. God, I don't know what class

they teach doctors to not say you're an idiot, just take a pill in, but you all have the same, because my doctor does the same thing. I'll be like, and then I'm going to take the clown shoes and put them right up there next to the Beaselbub. And it's like, I would not recommend. I need to learn to talk like that. Okay. So yeah, we also get this great moment where it's just it's Irish doctor again. He's shouting. He's shouting at this point. He just goes, I don't think there's a danger to drinking urine if you're healthy. Oh, and we go back to the naturopa lady as

who's saying, like, well, we don't know how it works. But then again, I don't know how anything works is basically what she's saying. There's more than we don't know how it works. What she said, penicillin, I think? Aspirin. She says, well, you can buy aspirin and we don't know how that works. Like, but we know that it does work. It doesn't matter that she don't know how it works.

Also, like, look, I'm not the medical expert. I'm third place for medical experts on this podcast, but I know how aspirin works a little bit. I know how aspirin works way more than I know how urine therapy. be worse. Yeah. And then to close off the movie, we watch a man chug a glass

of his own urine with a parrot on his shoulder. And in the most perfect moment I think captured ever on cinema, he drinks his urine and the bird on his shoulder goes like, ah, that sucks, man. Also, that urine is so yellow. Like, how are these people not actually knowing to stay well hydrated

if they think that they need to drink their own piss? at least drink a lot of water as well so that it's not so concentrated. If you drink urine regularly, is your urine going to be more likely to that colour? Because, like, you're... If that's all you're drinking. But even if it's not,

like the stuff that you've got rid of the first time you're putting back in, so you've got a higher concentration of the toxins that you're trying to get rid of anyway because you keep fucking putting them back in. Yeah, I feel like it's not supposed to go in more than once. But no one's like, we've done this. What are you doing?

I've already done this one. Like a really gross version of the Wensler. So, and we're going to end the movie. So the credits are rolling. And over the credits, they've interviewed, like, some college kids about urine therapy. Yes. But all they talk about is the episode of Friends

where they all have to pee on her leg. Yeah. And apparently Madonna also did something with P at one point. And then there's one guy and he's like, oh, you mean the sex thing, right? You mean the sex thing, right? Yes, credits. End of great.

Literally the last thing is the guy going, you mean the perverts thing? And it's a boom. End of movie. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Almost end of movie. End of movie is in memory of Sheba.

And look, I don't know who Sheba was. No one mentioned her, but I'm betting the urine didn't help. All right. Well, that is the movie. Marsh, Alice, thanks so much for joining us. Dr. Alice, if our audience wants to hear just how much urine they can drink, an endorsement they got straight from you on this episode. Where can they do it?

Well, they can find me at Skeptics with the K, which is the podcast that Marsh and I both co-host. You can also find us at QED this year. There are still streaming tickets available. And if you want to get those, you'll be able to see all of our onstage content, our panels, our podcasts, loads of different sessions of which you'll be able to see both Marsh and I doing some of that stuff, as well as I'm sure other people in the skeptical community that people are interested in. And you can get tickets for that at QEDCON.org. Yeah, but you're all sold out for.

in-person tickets, right? All sold out for in-person tickets. Last one, best one. And Marsh, you've got a project or two in the hopper as well. If folks want more Marsh, and I know they do, where can they find it? So all those places that Alice said, but also you can hear me and Cecil dissecting episodes of the Joe Rogan podcast by going to Know Rogan, the No Rogan experience on Know Roganpod.com. And also, I'm the editor of the Skeptic magazine. And Alice is the deputy editor of the Skeptic Magazine. So you can find original skeptical journalism. edited by us with the idea of kind of compassionate skepticism, first and foremost, by it going to skeptic.org.uk.

And I wrote an article as a ghost for that magazine. You did, and you promised me a second article. I did. I need to write that. But I'm not a ghost watching someone jerk off in a hotel room, so you can imagine how much more difficult it is. All right. Oh, side note, by the way, if you have not listened to the No Rogan experience yet,

but you are aware of Graham Linnehan, famous transphobe Graham Linneham, you have to check out the episode. It might be my favorite episode so far, and the Mark Zuckerberg episode exists. Yeah, I think the Linneham one in particular, I'm very, I'm proud of the work we've done in that. I think it's a really

solid look at what one of the most notorious and prolific transphobes on the internet actually thinks, and it is crazy when you get into the details of it. Yeah, an amazing reference for sure. All right, well, that's going to do it for a review of your in good health, but that's not going to do it

for the episode just yet, because we need to dry you off for next week. So, Marsh, tell them what's on deck? So someone is going to be watching Starship Troopers 2. Yes. Isn't going to be me, which is great. It is not going to be you. You got to watch a guy piss into his own mouth instead. Every single time I take it.

Yeah. So with all that to look forward to, we'll bring episode 523 to a merciful clothes. Once again, a huge thanks to Dr. Alice and Michael Marshall for joining us. Thanks to all the Patreon donors that help make the show go. If you like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash godawful

and thereby earn early access to an ad-free version of every single episode. You can also help us out by leaving a five-star review and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoyed the show,

be sure to check out our sibling shows, the scathing atheist citation needed, D&D minus, and the skeptocrat available wherever podcast them. If you have questions, comics, or cinematic suggestions, you can email Godawful Movies at gmail. Tim Robertson takes care of our social media

Our theme song was written and performed by Ryan Slotnik of Evil Drafts on Mars. All their music was written and performed by our audio engineer, Morgan Clark, and was used with permission. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Michael Marshall and Dr. Alice. I'm Eli Bosnick, promising to work hard to earn another chunk next week. Until then, we'll leave you with the Breakfast Club Clones. Immediately after this documentary came out, the marketing guy for that potter potty company was sat. He was handed his P-45. Margie Adelman didn't get financial compensation for the work she put into Martha's book,

but she did end up with cracking tits from the breast enlargement herbal supplements that Martha sells. Everyone started taking real medicine or died 100% of the time. And, of course, if I jump ahead and miss anything, you heard it, Alice Marsh went back for the guy that I skipped. Never be afraid to be like, oh, no, I wanted to do this thing. I'll reset it up and we can cut it so it sounds like I didn't forget. I tend to be a little hasty. If it's not his joke, he's just not interested.

Exactly. Just get to his next line. Come on, come on. Now people cry out for more. All right. My interstitial one. Oh, let me find it. It's on page 20.

Alice has lost the race by so far there. She distracted me by talking above a mic. It was definitely cheating. Yeah. Zimbabwe over here. Zimbabwe. Yeah. Not a reference I'm getting, but we haven't got time.

The guy who threw the javelin thing? What? Oh, there was a guy who like did a weird, oh, I can't use this javelin. And then he was like, I brought my own javelin. And they were like, what? And then he just booked it out there and threw it and was like, yep, world record. They were like, no, man, you can't.

How was that your go-to reference to cheating? It's so fucking niche. It's the best version of cheating that's ever happened. I mean, it wasn't in the New Olympics, to be fair. But it's still pretty dope. There wasn't. I don't even know. It was like a world javelin championship.

It's the best. Okay. Well, we'll look at that up after the air recording. Yeah, keep up your jab. Your javelin. Jabchat. Hey, don't Google that. Why was he British?

I don't know. You guys are British. And I didn't want to just have an American. Irish guys. You're pinning the piss on us. This content is canned credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm at their hotline at 617-249-4-255

or on their website at Creator Accountability Network. work.org. The preceding podcast was a production of puzzle and a thunderstorm LLC. Copyright 2025. All rights reserved.